#and i literally cannot wait to see what it takes to get Paris and Helene from a place of hostile interest in each other to actual lovers

[shidoukanae]

*rereads Paris and Helene's second meeting for the nth time*

me every goddamn time: THEY HAVE SO MUCH CHEMISTRY HOW THE FUCK DO THEY HAVE THIS MUCH CHEMISTRY

It's so so so SO fun watching this entire meeting and how they both seem to constantly be in a little dance of sorts wherein Paris openly declares his interest in her and Helene keeps shutting him down ("You should come to Kylon. We won't overwork you the way your family does" -> "I don't have time to indulge in a life with people who don't think" -> "well that's good because i think about you so much i can't sleep"-> "and? get to the point already". like jfc he's not fucking vague about this At All).

But the best part is, for offstandish and disinterested as Helene is towards Paris (with her words cold and blunt towards him), it's really hard to deny that there isn't some interest on her part without there really being interest on her part (which is. confusing i know but. in context. oh. my god. she's a queerplatonic icon around Paris and i adore her for it)

My favorite thing to see in this scene is the way Paris reaches for Helene's face, casually brushing the back of his fingers against her cheek and through her hair (while commenting on how being this close to her makes his instincts spike with unease), and the moment Helene downs him she does the same exact gesture to him, lifting up his chin and brushing the back of her fingers against his face similarly. Which. Wow. I need more female antagonists to do this shit it is literally so cool to see.

Also the way Helene and Paris constantly are gauging each other is so neat. The way Helene tells Paris to "not long for what he can't have" (i.e. herself) is so neat. The way Paris is clear about his interest in Helene and she in turn matches that interest by toying with him in a way she's done with no one else in the cast is just. there is sooooo much there between them and i greatly enjoy whatever the fuck kind of chemistry it is they share because it is literally the epitome of what i crave in ships

[littlesparklight]

As I meander through Guy Hedreen's Capturing Troy (very interesting by the way, though I don't agree with all of his interpretations or conjectures - some of which he admits are controversial lol):

Suggestion that Zeus specifically wants the war to take place at Troy because of the impenetrable walls. It means the whole thing can last as long as necessary/for all the deaths Zeus wants to enact that much more easily, since the city is, well. Impregnable, under all normal circumstances.

Obviously Zeus then absolutely needs a Trojan of some distinction (that is, belonging to the royal family) to spark the war/draw the Achaean forces plus Trojan allies there.

The war as it plays out of course absolutely needs Aphrodite to be chosen and Helen in Troy. I suppose the idea is (ancient as well as among modern scholars) that there would be no war without Aphrodite chosen. That is just not something I can ever agree to, because it doesn't make sense.

Athena is literally offering war. I mean, as a consequence of her "victory in war and fame" etc and so on. Paris would need wars to participate in to get what she's offering him, no matter where those wars specifically take place.

Hera's offer, too, realistically includes war. How the hell is Paris supposed to get a kingdom that involves at the very least the whole of Asia Minor, but sometimes also Europe or even being king of "all men" without those lands being conquered?

But given that the war and the losses as happens cannot happen without Aphrodite winning, then of course Zeus needs a judge that will award Aphrodite the apple, regardless of objective truth. (But given that in some sources that work hard to lay out the Judgement as ridiculous and impossible, part of that sometimes is that no way would Hera or Athena compete with Aphrodite in beauty - and like. Exactly. The goddess of beauty, hello?)

Hedreen points out that the ancient Greek stereotypes involving herdsmen was a certain erotic/pleasure-seeking character; so that this is why Paris "needs" to have been brought up as a(n enslaved) herdsman. A herdsman just wouldn't have the upbringing to care about the political/military gifts the others offer.

And I suppose I could see that given how the other effeminate-leaning men in the Iliad are presented. Euphorbos with that very feminine-leaning focus on his hair during his death, enumerating several martial victories to his name, with no apparent lack of eagerness to participate in war. Nastes or Amphimachus, with their gold decoration, again seem to show no aversion towards martial pursuits. Hell, even Menelaos less than stellar masculinity is still very martially oriented.

Paris, in the Iliad, however, is very much not.

And given the suggestions I've read from several academics that once Paris and Hektor might have been the same character, and thus his portrayal/approach to his actions (Helen and martial) would potentially have been very different, but after the Iliad we get a completely different situation. After the Iliad Paris' character is as if made to fit the stereotypes that self-fullinging prophecy-like means he will "of course" choose Aphrodite, and then as his background gets more fleshed out, the Judgement's placement on Ida adds further reason to making him having grown up as a herdsman, with all that means in terms of stereotypical ideas.

And then Hedreen's comment that Zeus needs it to be Paris, because neither Hektor nor any of the other brothers would choose Aphrodite. That Hektor would choose Athena, or even Hera.

And yeah, (Iliad!)Paris isn't his brother. We all know this. But Hektor is also not Paris - Hektor choosing especially Hera would have completely different consequences to Paris doing so.

Because Hektor is Priam's oldest son by Hecuba and Hektor is his father's heir.

And Paris is not.

Paris choosing Hera would mean Hektor, at least, needs to be out of the way. Hektor choosing Hera would at most mean he can wait until his father is dead and meanwhile dedicate himself to the divinely-favoured success to conquer the whole of Asia and whatever else Hera offered him, and eventually he'll naturally end up the king of all this.

Paris is at most the second son (but he can be even younger!), and Paris choosing Hera might be good for Troy, the city, but certainly not good for the Trojan royal family.

And like. I don't know.

I can see the ancient ideas/stereotypes that lay behind Paris as we have him now, in whatever small way there is to build a character out of that. Approaching it from a modern angle those stereotypes of "he must grow up as herdsman to make this choice" look weird and is kind of unsatisfying to me, personally.

Yes, the war as it happens needs Paris (he is born for it to happen/to make it happen), but I just can't look at our various facts and somehow come to a conclusion that means another choice wouldn't lead to war, and wouldn't lead to tragedy for either both Troy and it's royal family, or at least the royal family.

(Also, like, in the background we always have the situation the Catalogue of Women paints up; that if there weren't war, there would have been natural disasters to enact all those deaths...)

[gaytrojanshit]

Aight @dilfaeneas​ this one’s for you because Helenus absolutely deserves to punch Paris. I’ll probably write more later but it’s 4 am sooo

Gods, what a miserable day this was turning out to be. First, Helenus had woken up with an absolutely killer headache, which Apollo was not doing anything about despite his prayers. And now, he’d received visions that Paris would finally return from his little hideout in Sparta- and he wouldn’t be coming back alone. Helenus and Cassandra had both warned their father that letting Paris go to Sparta was a bad idea, but Priam had been convinced that his newly discovered son would do just fine, and thus had completely ignored the seers’ warnings. Initially, Paris had returned empty handed, causing Priam to believe that all was well and that nothing terrible would come of sending Paris to Sparta. But then came the incident at the games.

The annual games were something that the athletic men of Troy trained for all year. It was a glorious time, with events such as chariot racing, archery, javelin throwing, and more. This year, however, the javelin event had gone horribly, horribly wrong. Cocky Paris wanted to participate in *all* of the games, and had somehow managed to win one or two of the easier events. So, “Aphrodite’s Favorite” had tried his hand at javelin throwing, and somehow managed to miss the target so badly that he hit a person. Now, normally this wouldn’t be that big of an issue, but this person was Antheus, son of Antenor and lover of Deiphobus. Helenus had been close with Deiphobus all his life, and thus wasn’t particularly surprised when his brother absolutely lost it in front of the audience and demanded to duel Paris right at that moment. Paris, being who he was, ran for his life to the then hospitable house of Menelaus in Sparta. And now, some months later, here they were.

Getting up out of bed, Helenus would trudge out of his chambers, knowing damn well that the arrival of Paris’ ships had been announced, and that some of his family members would be there to greet the prince. And good gods, his headache was really putting a damper on his mood. Once he arrived at the port, Paris was there, as expected, along with Hector, Priam, and Hecuba. With a ship full of what looked to be stolen gold, fantastic. It was on days like these that Helenus truly wished that he’d never said anything about the identity of Paris, because then Paris would have died and this wouldn’t be their problem. As he came closer, he became aware that Hector was quite loudly telling Paris off, presumably for the amount of treasure that he’d looted from who knows where. Unfortunately, Helenus knew there was more aboard that ship than just shiny gold.

“Oh, but wait brother! Despite what you may say, this gold will be good for us! And before you yell some more, take a look at the most valuable thing I’ve brought for us.” Paris was truly nonsensical. Troy had no need for gold, they already had plenty of wealth to go around, so this foolishness just showed off the man’s greed. Idiot. With a load of unnecessary dramatics, Paris would unveil his greatest “prize”. It was a woman, one of astounding beauty. It took Helenus a moment before he realized that this was her. Helen of Sparta, the woman who had caused so many men to fall hopelessly in love with her. “What the fuck have you done?” Helenus asked, in an almost disgusted tone. “Well, brother, I took what I wanted. Since I’m a prince, I see no prob-” Paris was then interrupted by Helenus punching him in the face. He heard the crack of his brother’s nose, finding a bit of satisfaction in knowing that he’d temporarily ruined the man’s face. He’d then move back, wiping the blood off of his fist as he turned to Hector. “As a seer and as your trusted brother, I’d say the best course of action is to send her back immediately. By now, I have no doubt that Menelaus has called for Agamemnon to help him get his bride back. Please, brother.” Helenus had seen the doomsday visions for years now. Helen couldn’t stay, or his city would burn.

Thankfully, Hector nodded and turned to their father with a huff. “I must agree. Paris has broken the rules of hospitality, which could damage our relations with Sparta. Father, she cannot stay.” Priam was unfortunately not having any of this, and would gently approach Paris. “The Greeks… will not return my sister. She has lived away from her home for so long, kept away from her family. If Telamon will not give Hesione back, I see no reason to return Helen as of now. Perhaps we may negotiate and come to fair terms.” Helenus did love his father, but the man was old. His hair grew whiter by the year, and perhaps the time was coming to just make Hector king already. On top of that, Priam had straight up ignored all warnings about this very event. Helenus did feel a bit bad for Helen, as the poor girl looked like she absolutely didn’t ask for this. At least she hadn’t done this shit willingly. As the gentle king moved back to stand with his wife, Paris would once again haughtily speak up. “Would you look at that? Father agrees! So I think we’re done here, me and my new wife will be going now-” Paris was once more interrupted by Helenus trying to punch him, raising a surprised gasp from Helen. This time, Hector quite literally lifted the seer up by the back of his tunic and threw him back. “ENOUGH! BOTH OF YOU!” Taking a deep breath, his older brother continued, “We will discuss this matter in front of the council. Perhaps the royal advisors will be able to talk some sense into you. Helenus, you and I must speak later. And Paris, at least give the poor girl some privacy to bathe.” With another huff, Hector was off, likely to go to the stables to calm down after this misery. Priam accompanied Paris and Helen to the prince’s chambers, where perhaps Priam would come to his senses and talk Paris out of this. Hecuba, however, would approach Helenus and lay a gentle hand on his shoulder. “You warned them, didn’t you?” Honestly, Helenus quite liked his mother. She was sensible and smart, plus she’d mostly raised him and his siblings while Priam had been busy with royal duties. Or other women. Hecuba would start walking to the gardens, beckoning Helenus to follow. “I did. I told them not to send him there, because exactly this would happen. I told you. Why didn’t you listen? Why couldn’t you convince father?” He asked, a tone of pleading in his voice. He was much calmer now, either from not having to see Paris or from the grounding presence of his mother. “Believe me, I tried. Your father’s quite convinced that nothing wrong will come of this. Neither of us can blame him for wanting his sister back, however, because how would you feel if Cassandra was taken away? Or Ilione, or Polyxena?” She was right�� sort of. Priam rightfully wanted Hesione back, but keeping Helen in Troy was not the way to do it. Helenus had seen glimpses of fire and ruin, people dying and the city crumbling. That couldn’t happen, it wouldn’t happen. 

[intelligentdumbass]

No I Cannot Get a Break(Part2)

(The first part’s over here)

“Athena? Have you seen Apollo?”

The grey-eyed goddess raised an eyebrow.

“Wasn’t he with you?”                                                                              

“Yes, but that was an hour ago.” Calliope frowned. “Hermes ran off to look for him but he hasn’t come back yet-”

Just then, two immortals came running out of the trees; it was the two gods that the muse was looking for. She immediately rushed towards them and inquired as to what had happened; Athena was about to do the same when her father’s voice thundered across the garden.

“AH-” “What’s this??” On his hand, he held out a fruit made out of pure gold. It had stuck him right on the face while he was chatting with his siblings, just like the messenger before him.

“Father.” Apollo suddenly spoke up and stared; one of his eyes twitching. “Father please, for the love of Troy, throw that into Tartarus!”

Before Zeus could respond, the apple was already gone; snatched out of his hands by the god of love. His wings instantly threw him up into air as he curiously stared at the fruit of gold.

“Pft, what’s wrong sunshine? Why so stressed?” Eros grinned mockingly at the sun deity. “Tis’ just a yellow apple with a few words craved onto it.” He cleared his throat in preparation to read the inscription. “To the fairest goddess of them all!”

Athena could’ve sworn Apollo’s fingers were twitching like he wanted to break Eros’ neck. Calliope and Hermes seemed to be holding him back; trying to calm him down. She gazed back at her father, who was just a tiny bit drunk, and he looked both confused and slightly concerned. This surprising turn of events had gotten a lot of the other immortals’ attention; even Artemis had took notice and quickly sped towards her twin.

Meanwhile Eros had flown over to his mother and exclaimed, “Well, well, well… I guess we all know who this trophy belongs to then now, don’t we?”

Aphrodite smiled, flattered by her son’s compliment. Just before she was handed the prize, however, a spear came hurling out of nowhere; piercing the fruit and pinning it against one of the trees.

“Wait.” Athena’s voice was commanding; briefly glancing back at her distraught younger brother. “This all feels a little off. Where did that apple even come from?”

Eros rolled his eyes. “Don’t know; don’t care Misses killjoy.” He flew over to retrieve the fruit; tossing the spear aside.

“I can assure you that I sense nothing of the like, no malicious auras or weird obscure magic, at least, not on the apple itself. If anything, this is probably just some secret admirer trying to praise their idol.” He smiled, but it was the kind of smile that proves he had a suspicion that wasn’t the case at all. “Besides, why do you care? Don’t tell me that this trophy was meant for you instead?”

“What-” “No!” The goddess seemed appalled that he would even consider that to be a possibility.

Then there was a loud sigh. It was from Hera.

“If that truly is why the apple exists,” She said. “Then for all you know it might’ve been intended for me instead. It landed very close to me after all; specifically onto my husband’s face. Maybe they just had bad aim?” It was hard to tell whether or not she was joking (‘She’s most likely joking’ Athena thought), but even Poseidon muttered against his breath that she did have a point.

Aphrodite just smiled. “Then why don’t we let the king of the gods decide?” She nodded at her son, who gave the fruit back to the lightning-bearer. “Tell us my lord, who do you think deserves to be awarded with the title of the fairest goddess of them all?”

Zeus blinked. “I…” “You want me to choose between you, Athena and Hera? With all of my possible biases I think I would be the least fitting judge for that matter.” He was still uneasy about his eldest son’s reaction; even quickly glancing back to make sure he wasn’t having a panic attack amidst all of this.

‘If only he hadn’t blocked my voice from his head.’ He thought. ‘Then I would know what’s bothering him so much.’

On the other hand, now that he was holding it again, Eros seemed to be right. It looked and felt like a normal and harmless shiny apple; a very pretty one at that.

“Let a mortal who is not part of any of your cults decide, and swear not to endanger their life over some trivial matter such as this.”

Aphrodite peered off the edge; her gaze landing on a young prince of Troy. “I think I already know who.”

Eros took the golden apple and flew down onto the earth. She motioned to the two goddesses to follow as well before morphing into a dove; flying just behind her son.

---------------------------------

Paris stared at the three deities standing before him. At this rate, it looked like he was too shocked to be able to choose anyone at all. Athena internally sighed, wondering how she got herself involved into this mess.

“Okay well, how about this.” Aphrodite pondered for a moment. “If you choose me, I’ll give you the most beautiful mortal princess the world has ever laid their eyes on.”

Eros gave his mom a look, but she whispered to assure him that she was in fact not finding a way to get rid of Psyche.

Athena raised an eyebrow. “Well, that’s just cheating-”

“Zeus never said anything against bribery~”

“In that case,” Hera said. “Choose me and you’ll get to rule the whole of Asia Minor.”

The war goddess thought that was an extremely irresponsible opportunity to give to someone as young as Paris, but then again maybe that was the point. She suddenly felt a little bad for the young prince.

“If you choose me, I can give you unlimited wisdom and glory in war.”

She could’ve sworn she heard Aphrodite curse. However, defying most of their expectations, Paris uttered the words, “I choose Aphrodite” and awarded the golden apple to the goddess of love.

‘Oh. Well, I tried to give him the least risky option.’

When she got back to the main event, it was almost like nothing had ever happened. Despite the incident that had killed the mood a few minutes ago, the party seemed to be back in full swing. She noticed one key difference though. Athena walked over to some of the muses; giving Clio a gentle tap on the shoulder.

“Where’s Phoebus?"

---------------------------------

Apparently Apollo disappeared when they weren’t looking, so Hermes, Artemis and Dionysus had gone off to go look for him in the depths of the garden.

“I tried to approach him, but he wouldn’t even look at me.” Zeus sighed. “And I am still not able to hear his thoughts.”

“Don’t worry, if I see him I’ll try to talk to him.”

“…please do.”

---------------------------------

There were already three gods searching for him among the trees, so she figured she might as well try looking inside the palace itself. Besides, if he really wanted to be left alone, he might’ve tried hiding somewhere else, far from where Hermes last found him. Plus, she had a few spots in mind that she could try checking out.

The silence was eerie, but also oddly comforting. There was nothing but the soft hollow thumps of her steps as she walked through the empty halls. As luck would have it, it didn’t take long for her to finally spot the god sitting on the railing of a certain balcony, the one that even their father himself often stood on.  

The blonde was tense, but when he turned around and saw Athena, he started to relax.

“What’s wrong?”

“Your steps scared kind of scared me. I thought I was having another vision for a second there… I mean, you are the real Athena right?” He laughed, but his breath was more than a little shaky.

“Of course I am the real Pallas Athena. Who else would I be?”

She allowed a full minute to pass by to let him fully process her statement to be true before moving to stand right next to him.

“What’re you doing here?” Apollo asked.

“I wanted a break from the party.”

“Oh, that makes sense.” He paused. “You sure it’s not because you’re salty about the golden apple?”

Athena scoffed. “Don’t even think about trying to tease me. Why on earth would I care that much about some accursed fruit?”

“Aw, don't worry Athe. If I were him, I would've definitely chosen your deal instead."

"Well, of course, no surprise there. You choose what you don’t have after all."

“Wha-” “I was trying to cheer you up and this is what you do to me?!"

"So, you admit that what I just said is true?"

He had his hand over his chest as if he were offended; that forced smile on his face feeling just a little bit more genuine, until it slowly dropped entirely.

“Paris fucked up, Athena. Paris really fucked up.” He sighs. “Do you still remember their oaths?”

“Helen’s suitors?” She thought for a moment. “Apollo, I doubt Paris would still want to keep her after seeing the army that comes after-”

“But he will.” His voice suddenly hardened. “And he’ll keep her for over 10 fucking years and will become the torch that burns his city down to a crisp.”

Her tone softened. “How much did you see?”

“I don’t know, but I do know that Thetis is about to give birth to one of the greatest warriors in recorded history and-” “and-” He suddenly stopped, stuttering.

Athena placed a steady hand on his shoulder, as if he might fall.

Apollo’s grip on the railing tightened. “I-” “I don’t want to lose another one, Athena. Not now, it’s too fucking soon I literally just watched Asclepius-” The tears started trailing down his cheeks until they dissipated into thin air as a whiff of steam. “I just want a fucking break!”

There was a long pause before he continued.

“Why do I care so much?”

“I’d be more concerned if you didn’t. After all, I’m barely any better.”

------------------

“Athena?”

“Yes Phoebus?”

“What do you think dad’s going to do about this?”

“…I don’t know.” ------------------

“Apollo?”

“Hm?”

“Do you hate him?”

“…sometimes I wish I did”

“…”

“I-” “I’m sorry-”

“No, don’t be. I occasionally wished I did too, but it’ll never be that simple, no? Who would even replace him?”

“You?”

Athena laughed. “Weren’t you the one always asking to be his heir?”

“I was a very stupid toddler back then, hell, probably still am now. I mean, don’t tell me you actually trust me to run this thing?”

“True. I don’t blame you for not believing in yourself. Honestly, I don’t either.”

“I-” “Wow, you couldn’t have at least sugar-coated it a little?”

------------------

“Hey Pal, maybe we could share the throne?”

Athena immediately made a face of disgust. “But then if we kept our titles as King and Queen, someone might assume we married each other.”

“Wow!” Apollo tried his best not to laugh. “I mean, I don’t want to marry you either but still, you make it look like being with me is a bad thing!”

------------------

“I-” “I don’t want to get rid of him Apollo...”

“…I know.”

------------------

For a few minutes, all they did was stare and enjoy the view; looking down at the earth like they owned everything that the light could touch. Then with a flick of her hand the goddess summoned her spear and slung her shield over her back.

“Apollo, get your bow.”

“Wait-” “What? Why?” It took a few moments for him to realize what she was suggesting. "Athe, no matter how much I try, you know I’ll never stand a chance against you in close combat-"

“I did say get your bow, not your sword, didn’t I? I mean, you’re welcome to try if you want.” Her eyes were taunting him. “Father invited almost every single deity to Thetis and Peleus' wedding in Olympus. Excluding the mortals, the rest of Greece should be fairly empty right now."

"...I guess a duel does sound fun.”

"It certainly does. Besides, you really look like you could use one right now."

"Did-” “Did you just insult me by calling me out of shape or am I just over thinking this and you're genuinely trying to cheer me up?"

"Maybe both."

“…Fine. Only a few conditions: no one uses the aegis or the masterbolt, and that you better be a hundred percent sure father isn’t watching us right now.”

“Of course, wouldn’t want to embarrass you in front of him now, would we? I’m not that mean.”

After a few moments of consideration, Apollo summoned his signature bow and wore his golden quiver. Taking one last glance behind them to assure themselves that they were, in fact, alone; they went over the railing. It was faint and easy to miss, but when Athena saw the eager and determined look on his face, she couldn’t help but smile.

‘Now there's the arrogant bastard that I know.’

"Mt. Othrys?" She asked.

"Sure, the closer the more convenient.” He grinned. “Mt. Othrys it is.”

And so, they jumped off, straight into the abandoned ruins of a golden age long forgotten; landing in the middle of all of those towering columns and mighty slabs of black, the remains of their father’s decade long war.

[lu-undy]

Aye! I'm sorry this is probably hard to do but oof— Okay, Sniper and Spy decided to quit Mann Co and make their own life in Paris, married, they adopted a girl named Alizee, time pass and at 15 years old there was a winter dance which she wanted to invite the boy she liked, but is rejected because the boy she likes (named Tom) already has a girlfriend (named Helen), Sniper and Spy were always at the dance with her and they decide to go home and watch some movies, Happy ending. ♥︎

Alright, here it is! I’m sorry this took so long. I’m not a big fan of the idea of Sniper and Spy adopting a kid but I obliged anyway :) I hope you’ll enjoy it :)

“Alizée? Tu es prête ma chérie?”

[Alizée? Are you ready sweetie?]

The Frenchman asked from the bottom of the stairs.

“Oui, comin’ Papa!”

“You will be late if you take five more minutes, especially since your father here drives like a snail!”

“Whot?! Me? Drivin’ like a snail? You’re the bloody snail here!”

Lucien put a finger on Mundy’s lips and smirked.

“Language…! You don’t want your Princess to learn those words, non?”

Mundy rolled his eyes and smiled.

“I don’t drive like a snail, but yer dad’s roight! We’ll arrive late!”

“Comin’!” 

The fifteen-year-old girl joined her parents downstairs.

“Hey, look at you, you look gorgeous, Princess!” Mundy said.

“Thanks, Papa helped me choose the dress.”

“Yeah, no doubt about that, I can recognise the taste.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?!”

“Nothin’...!” Mundy winked at his daughter who chuckled. "Alroight, if we're all ready, let's get to the van." 

The Aussie drove them to the place where the winter dance was held. Alizée's school had rented a large venue that some pupils and parents helped prepare for the occasion. 

"What is he called again, your date?" The Frenchman asked, not without a bit of disdain.

"He's called Tom, Lu', follow up, darling…" Mundy answered. 

"Right, this boy Tom, be careful around him, hm?"

"I will, don't worry." 

"Don't stray far from adult supervision and if things go wrong, you know what to do, oui?"

"Lu', it's gonna be fine…" Mundy wanted to reassure him.

"How can you know?" Lucien answered. "But oui, ma chérie, you know what to do?"

"Y-yeah but uhm… I didn't take it with me…" She answered. 

"She didn't take what?" Mundy asked. 

"Papa wanted me to take one of his old blades…"

"What?!" Mundy exclaimed. 

"Well, do you know any other way to submit someone efficiently?" Lucien answered. 

"Oh c'mon, Lu', that's just madness! You can't give a fifteen-year-old a knife and expect her to be responsible with it!"

"Yes, you can! How old do you think I was when I started wielding my first balisong?!" Lucien answered.

Mundy rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Princess, I'm glad you didn't take it with you. 's not reasonable… But yeah, alroight, I guess there's some truth to what yer dad here says. If anythin' goes wrong, go and find the nearest adult, ok?" 

"Yeah, yeah, I know." 

"Good, now, here's the place I think." 

The street in front of the venue was filled with teenagers in suit and ties or dresses. Parents were there too and one could see the light effects in the room of the venue itself. 

"Roight, there you are Princess."

Lucien got out of the van and let her out. He took a second to look at her. 

"You are growing up beautifully, Alizée. I remember when you were a little girl…" 

"Aw…" The young girl hugged her father dearly. 

"Go and have fun before your father mocks me for my sentimentality." He said, smiling. 

"Too late, Lu', I heard ya!" 

Lucien rolled his eyes and Alizée chuckled. 

"Parfait…"

[Perfect…]

"Go ahead Princess, we'll stay here just to make sure you get inside the room and then we'll drive back home. We'll come back at 10, alroight?"

"Okay, thanks! Have fun too!" 

The young girl joined her friends who were shyly waiting for her on the pavement and Lucien climbed back in the van. 

"Go ahead now." The Frenchman said. 

"What?" 

"Oh Lu', such a sentimental old folk ye are… Say it…" 

"Nah, truth is, you're adorable." 

Mundy held his lover's hand. He felt the ring on his finger and even if it had been years now, he still felt slight shivers whenever he got to touch that golden ring.

Lucien leaned in until his head was on his lover's shoulder. 

"D'you see her still?" 

"Oui. She entered the room a few seconds ago." 

"Roight. Shall we go back?" 

"Give it a minute or two, please." Lucien asked.

"Sure."

Silence fell in the van and both men watched the street empty of the teenagers and parents walk away. 

"Mundy?" 

"Hm?" 

"I still cannot believe that we are raising a girl together."

"Neither am I. But we are, eh…?" 

"Oui, we are." 

"Also, you're so worried for her."

"Of course I am. She is our daughter. Even if she isn't the biological product of you and me, she is our heart and soul anyway."

"Yeah, I know. It's just that I wouldn't have expected you to be so… protective of her."

"Is it a bad thing?" 

"Nah, of course not. And I find it… Well, I mean, it's nice."

"Nice?" Lucien repeated. 

"Well, y'know, I'm wonderin'."

"About what?"

"If you're that protective of her, I guess you're quite the same for me, roight?" 

Lucien smiled. 

"Of course. Need I remind you that I literally killed people to protect you?" 

Mundy chuckled. 

"Yeah, it's true." 

"But you are right. I love you in such a way that I cannot even think of a day without you." 

"Hm… Thanks, luv'. I love ya too." 

Mundy turned to kiss Lucien's head. 

"You're all about feelin's and romance. You got me to like it too." 

Lucien raised his head and their lips met. Mundy melted on his seat. The Frenchman smiled when their lips parted. 

"Is the hunter softening?" He cheekily asked. 

"Looks like it, and it's all your bloody fault." 

"Language…"

"Alizée isn't here."

"Non, but I am."

"Ah, sorry luv', I didn't want to expose yer delicate ears to such strong words…!" Mundy mocked. 

"I accept your apologies only if you make it up to me, somehow." 

"Oh, someone thinks they can make me do what they want, eh?"

"Am I wrong?"

"Nah, you're very right…" 

Their lips met again briefly. 

"And if we were at home on our own, I'd gladly show you that you can…"

"Ooh…" The Frenchman purred. "I cannot wait." He looked in the direction of the venue. "Wait, that's Alizée…! What is she doing outside?" 

Before Mundy could answer anything, Lucien was out of the van, walking to meet his daughter. She was leaning on the wall of the main entrance of the room and had sunk down to sit there. 

"Alizée ma chérie, why are you outside?" 

"Huh?!" She gasped. "Wait, you aren't home?" 

"Non, we were just chatting with your father. What is the matter?" 

"It's Tom…" She sadly answered. 

"Did he do anything inappropriate?" Lucien started rolling up his sleeves. 

"No…" She answered.

"Don't jump at the kid's throat, luv'." Mundy had joined them and put a hand on his husband's shoulder to stop him. The Australian crouched down and helped his daughter up. 

"So what's wrong?"

"He lied to me. He already has a girlfriend and of course he's dancing with her and not with me…" 

"L'enfoiré…"

[The son of a…]

"Language…" Mundy cheekily said. "Isn't there anyone else who can dance with you?" 

"No… And in any case, I don't want it. I want to go back home…" She answered and started walking to the van. 

Lucien and Mundy looked at each other before catching up with her. The Aussie put his hand on her shoulder while Lucien held her hand. 

"I'm sorry, papa." 

"What for?" Lucien asked. 

"No, I mean you taught me how to dance for so long and it's all useless now…"

"Don't say that, it's not useless. You know what? It is better that way. I did not like this Tom." 

"Lu'..."

"Non, it's true, I had a bad feeling about him." 

"How on Earth could you have a bad feeling about someone you haven't even met?" 

"I just felt it!" Lucien answered. "I have the nose for this." 

They all entered the van. 

"You have what now?" 

"Isn't that an expression in English too? To have the nose for this or for that means that you can smell something will happen."

"Princess, can you tell yer dad there that not all French expressions translate into English…?"

Alizée turned to Lucien.

"Papa…"

"Oh come one, Mundy, you understood what I meant! Alizée, tell you father please that if he doesn't stop mocking my English, I shall remind him how poor his French is, despite his having lived in France for years now."

Alizée turned to Mundy now. 

"Dad…"

"Roight, roight…"

The streets were mostly empty at night and the journey back was quick. 

"Alroight, here we are." 

Alizée seemed distraught still. She was dragging her feet on the floor even as she climbed the stairs up. She pushed her bedroom door and let herself collapse on the bed, her face sinking in the duvet. A few moments later, there was a knock on the door. 

"Hm?" She growled. 

"You groan like your father when he is annoyed." Lucien said as he walked in. 

Alizée sat on her bed and her father sat next to her. 

"I understand what you must feel, ma chérie. But don't think too much about it. You will have other opportunities to dance and have your moment with a boy that you like." 

"Yeah, you're right but… But I'm here while they're all dancing and having fun."

"Trust me, it doesn't change much in your life. Don't get me wrong, I would have loved you to go and enjoy yourself there. But maybe it's better this way. Who needs boys anyway, hm?" 

She looked up at him and his smile made her grin. 

"Yeah well, comin' from you, that's quite bold." She answered and he chuckled. 

"Non, no one needs boys. I need a man, and you will too, when the right time comes. You are still so very young…" 

"Hm…"

She leaned on her side and let her head rest on her father's chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. 

"Can you help me get out of my dress, please?" 

He kissed her head. 

"But of course, give me your back." 

"Wait, before that…"

"Oui?" 

"I love you Papa."

Lucien softened and hugged her tighter. 

"We love you too, and want nothing but you to be happy. It makes us sad too to see you like that, you know? But don't dwell on it too much. We will have fun between ourselves tonight, alright?"

She nodded against his chest. 

"Merci." She said before she gave her father her back and he opened the zip there.

[Thanks.]

"There you go. I'll be downstairs with your father. Join us when you get your change, alright?" 

"Oui Papa." 

He kissed her head again and left the room, closing the door after him. Downstairs, both men were on the sofa, waiting for their daughter. 

"How did it go?" Mundy asked. 

"Better but still a bit bitter." Lucien answered. "She's getting a change and will be with us soon." 

"Good. You cold?" 

"A bit." 

The Australian took the nearby blanket and as his lover laid on him, he covered him. 

"Hmm… Much better now, mon amour." 

[My love.]

"Glad for you." He rested his head on his lover's.

They heard the steps of the stairs creak and both looked behind them. 

"There you are!" Mundy said. 

Lucien moved away from the Aussie and the girl sat between them. 

"Look what I made for you…" Mundy revealed a big bowl of popcorn. 

"Oh… Thanks Dad." She kissed his cheek.

"And I am told that there is this ridiculous action movie that you wanted to go and see on the TV tonight." Lucien added as he switched the screen on. 

"It's not ridiculous, it's just to relax, Lu'..." 

"Whatever you want to call it." 

"Shush, it's starting." Mundy said. 

"Don't shush me!" 

"Papa, s'il te plaît…?"

[Dad, please…?]

"Oui, ma chérie."

[Yes, sweetie.]

Mundy put the bowl away just to throw the blanket on all three of them. Immediately after he put it back on their lap, both Lucien and Alizée dug in. 

The Frenchman took a handful of popcorn and before he tasted it himself he fed some to Mundy. 

"Thanks, luv'." The Aussie whispered and his husband winked at him. 

"Dad? Papa?" 

Both looked down at their daughter. 

"I love you guys, you're the best." 

They exchanged a sweet smile. 

"Merci, Mundy isn't too bad I guess."

"Oi…!"

"Shhh…! The action's starting!" Alizée said and didn't see Lucien mockingly wiggle his eyebrows at Mundy. 

The Australian would take his revenge, later.

[epithethq]

        to start things off, we as a whole would like to say thank you so much to everyone who took the time out of their busy lives to show interest in our little baby here. we would also like to say thank you to everyone who decided to post in the talk tag as well, it was really fun reading what you guys had responded to our questionnaire along with seeing all the amazing aesthetics that were being post ! this last week has been really heartwarming for us both, seeing all these apps rolling in & what not really made things really exciting for us. however, we want to address the fact that even though we can’t accept every single person who applied, we want to say thank you. we do really appreciate every application that we got. 

please note that there were a few characters we accepted for alternate skeletons. if you weren’t accepted for the skeleton you applied for, please check to make sure you weren’t accepted elsewhere !! to those who were not accepted, please know that we loved your applications. but we only could pick one between the multiple applications that we had received. if anyone has any questions as to why they were not accepted, please shoot us a quick message & we will gladly answer whatever question you might have. also please don’t hesitate to reapply in the future.

and for our big ending, we would like to congratulate everyone that has been accepted into EPITHETHQ. we are beyond excited to start writing with you all & seeing your muses come to life on the dash ! please make sure to send in your accounts within the next twenty four hours, or send a message to the main if you need a little bit more time. with that being said, under the cut you will find those who have been accepted.

CONGRATULATIONS SOF, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE AMARANTH. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

i just want to start off by mentioning how much i loved how detailed your application was. especially the parts where you talked about lukas’ family. that’s what really had me going, i really enjoyed reading everything you had to put in your application. i also want to mention the aesthetics & pinterest board you made because ... it was SO cute. thank you for applying & we can’t wait to see lukas on the dash !

CONGRATULATIONS TATI, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE BON VIVANT. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

can i just start off by mentioning the fact that i love how much madelaine petsch ? i seriously think she’s a perfect fit for the bon vivant ! but what i really want to talk about is how you went about your application. we both really loved the fact that you did a completely different take on the bon vivant & that’s what really had me hooked. i can’t wait to learn more about scarlett !

CONGRATULATIONS ALI, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE CAVALIER. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

look, i just want to talk about how much i love that you brought brinley back to life. i also want to mention how much i love how detailed your application is. everything you wrote just had me hooked from the start & i honestly cannot wait to see what type of things brinley will bring to the dash !

CONGRATULATIONS ZOE, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE DIRTBAG. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

as soon as i clicked on the pinterest board you left in your application, i was already in love with stasia. but when i started reading your application that’s when i just knew that anastasia was the perfect fit for the dirtbag. everything that happened to her in her past literally ... tugged at my heart strings. so i honestly cant wait to see what things she brings to our dash !

CONGRATULATIONS FERB, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE EBULLIENT. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

i was actually really excited when i came on & seen that someone had applied for the ebullient ! it was one of my favorite skeletons to work on & your application really put a good picture in my head on how you envisioned them as well. i really loved your application & can’t wait to see what ace’s sparkling personality brings to the dash.

CONGRATULATIONS DANA, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE FRAUDULENT. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

i am .. actually .. in love with theo. everything from his pinterest board, his stats page & my god i don’t even want to start on about his bio. i really loved how everything was written & i love how you went into so much detail when you were explaining his background in your application. i really think that theo is a great fit for the fraudulent & can’t wait to see him on the dash !

CONGRATULATIONS FERB, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE GREGARIOUS. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

the part in your app when you were talking about helene & haley’s relationship i was so in love with their connection. it was such a good thing to read about & then ... that happened & my heart stopped because all i could think about was ?? dAMN why did she have to leave like that ? your app seriously had me going, i can’t wait to see what other things you bring on the dash with helene !

CONGRATULATIONS TALLY, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE IMPECUNIOUS. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

i honestly started laughing when i first started reading your application because i just started thinking about ways i, myself, would love to start calling charlie by their other names. but overall i really loved the aesthetics you wrote, the pinterest board & just the way you brought the impecunious to life ! can’t wait to see what charlie brings to the dash. 

CONGRATULATIONS NORA, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE KALEIDOSCOPIC. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

rosie rosie rosie, what am i going to do with you ? that’s what i was thinking when i was reading your application because it really had me in my feels. rosie i think is a perfect fit for the kaleidoscopic. we can’t wait to see what things you bring to the dash because from your pinterest, it just gets me really excited to see what things rosie will bring to the dash.

CONGRATULATIONS KAYLA, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE MELANCHOLIC. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

oh my god kayla, i just want to start off by saying how much i love you & your application. i want to start off with talking about your pinterest board, because that was the first thing you linked in your app & honestly i love looking through them all together. but i really felt like you really took what was given & just ... really brought this skeleton to life. also i loved that you named your skeleton romeo. next i want to mention how much i loved reading about romeo. after reading everything in your application i just really can’t wait to see what romeo brings to our dash. thank you so much for applying !

CONGRATULATIONS BEX, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE NEOPHYTE. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

ezra ??  we love him. bex ?? we love them !! you get a gold star for doing your best. 

CONGRATULATIONS BEA, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE PHILOPHOBE. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

from the first line of your biography, i was caught !! bea, seren is something special & i am so, so excited to see you bring her to life on our dash. i think she has so much to strive for & so many reasons to be scared & frightened but she has so much to gain by taking her life as her own. i’m so excited to see her grow & flower without the weight of her father’s control holding her down.

CONGRATULATIONS LEX, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE PRESTIGIOUS. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

wow wow wow. syre is something special & i can’t properly express how glad we are to have him here. you added so much characterization & detail & the both of us were simply stunned by your app !! having him be a salinger is such a cool take & i think he’ll bring a cool personality to the dash. “ instead it landed him in paris ” -- that bit hit hard and all i could think to myself was damn. we cannot wait to see what you do with him & we’re so excited to have you and him here !!

CONGRATULATIONS BRENDA, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE PRISTINE. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

my heart aches for josie & i genuinely think that she is the perfect fit for our pristine !! i can’t wait to see her become the person she has always meant to be. i want her to grow to be more than her insecurities and fears. i love your aesthetic you wrote for her,and i love your pinterest board even more. i can’t wait to love our pretty-in-pink girl even more !!

CONGRATULATIONS CAS, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE QUIXOTIC. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

whoa. that’s really all i can say. i am so excited for you to bring the quixotic to life because i was really struck !! i loved how you started us off with an aesthetic for callie, and i love how you started with an overview of her character traits. we really got to dive right in to see callie !! continuing to read, i was so sad reading about her time in high school, & reading about her & her brother, luke. i think i am just as heartbroken as she is ?? you really gave us so many little details that made her feel real & i think she is spectacular. 

CONGRATULATIONS IRENE, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE ROGUE. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

maybe being in paris will give rome the wake-up call he needs, but until then we are both so excited to have him as our rogue in paris !! i think that his recklessness and view of the world make him unique & something different than a lot of the characters on the dash. i am so, so excited to see how he grows & changes with the plots & events we’ll have to throw at him.

CONGRATULATIONS GI, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE SPITFIRE. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

wow. vesna is just ... wow !! your writing & in-depth section is beautiful & i was just so taken with her. i feel so deeply for her & the tragedy of her past is something that makes her so haunting. i love how you want to make her “ rise from the ashes ” & i cannot wait to see you do that !! she deserves the world & i hope she gets it. you have so many things and ideas for her & i am so excited to see her come alive in your hands as our spitfire.

CONGRATULATIONS KRIS, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE SYBARITIC. WELCOME TO EPITHETHQ.

i don’t know how to say this, but both nina & i were so caught up in this app. it was honestly so great for us to read !! i love the traits you gave her & was in love from the beginning. i really love how you write. your word choice was stunning & it was all so beautiful. i am so excited for cecilia & her duality of girlish joy & machiavellian deceit. i think she is very strong-willed & bold & she’s honestly something unlike the rest of our characters. we loved all of your details & we are so excited to see you & her here !!

[thesimplyluxuriouslife]

294: How to be the Director of Your Life: 6 Key Components

"You shouldn't dream your film, you should make it!" —Steven Spielberg

To live actively requires we take action.

Seems simple enough, but if teaching my students as well as myself to refrain from using passive verbs versus active verbs in writing indicates anything, defaulting to the passive is happens to be a hard habit to break.

What if we are defaulting in the same way in our everyday life and, even more largely, in our vision of how our journey will unfold?

A new-to-me podcast, Solo: The Single Person's Guide to a Remarkable Life, shared an insightful approach to living life which caught my attention immediately. What if we, instead of being the hero of our own lives, choose to be the director?

Think about it for a moment. When we look at a film from the point-of-view from the real world, the hero in the film/movie/novel/play merely follows the directions of the person behind the camera - the Greta Gerwigs (Oscar nominated director for Little Women), the Kathryn Bigelow (Oscar winning director for The Hurt Locker), the Steven Spielbergs (Oscar winning director for Lincoln), the Amma Asantes (Mrs. America), the Jennifer Getzingers (Orange is the New Black and Mad Men), the Julie Delpys (2 Days in Paris), and the Patty Jenkins (Wonder Woman).

“Humble perseverance and the ability to observe and grow, in pursuit of making what you love and believe in. Really. THAT is the secret”. —Patty Jenkins, director of Wonder Woman

To be the director of our lives assumes the responsibility of having a larger vision for the purpose of each scene, each chapter; however, within each moment, each interaction and revelation, the director knows fully how to craft a scene so as to bring forth a dedication to being present, fully engaged and intentionally clear and knowing about living fully.

Being a hero, in theory, is not a bad directive, but it neglects the reality of being a hero - whether saving themselves or another or an entire vast swath of others - the climatic drama of adversity is assumed. And then there is the tragic hero. No thank you.

This is not to say that we can direct ourselves to avoid all conflict and adversity. No. From such unwanted and unplanned pains, we grow, we learn, and we gain wisdom, clarity, and strength; however, if we only relegate ourselves to being the hero, we follow a script written by another and directed by someone else as well. While there have been directors who directed themselves, there is a reason why only one has done so and been able to capture an Oscar for both roles - Roberto Benigini in Life is Beautiful (1999), which also one for best Foreign Film as well. It's hard to see yourself clearly - your actions, facial expressions, energy on screen with another, etc..

But wait, if you direct your life, aren't you also the hero? Valid point, and an important one to make. Yes. You are in all actuality both the director and the hero, but again, the director decides who leaves a scene when, how the interactions with others will play out, which details must be included in a shot to further understanding for the audience, what remains out of the shot, the colors of the attire, where the scene is set, the background, the music, all of the details as well as the over-arching storyline (and while often the director is also the playwright or at the very least has some say in how the screenplay is depicted and can mold and tweak it to what would be best for the film, the director has the full reins of the production). What I am saying is we must not forget our primary job - to be the director of our one and only life.

Let's take a look at everyday and large over-arching choices and actions imperative for directing our lives well.

1.Who are you?

Taking the time to know yourself, unearth your talents, becoming honest about your weaknesses but refusing to let them halt the direction you wish to travel sits at the foundation of a well-lived life.

~Read this three-part series on How to Get To Know Yourself

~Read/Listen to this post/episode to discover how knowing ourselves is the most important ingredient for a healthy relationship with another (episode #179)

2. Learn how to love well

Loving well is a skill. We do not know innately how to love another human being as doing so involves emotional intelligence and self-awareness. Models of love or what is purported as love surround us, but many are faulty and derive from a genesis rooted in control, insecurity and many other unhealthy constructs. To follow leads to pain. Knowing leads to peace. Know how to love, and life will blossom.

~In episode #287, discover 5 Things to Do to Build a Healthy Relationship (inspired by the book - How to Be An Adult in a Relationship)

~Listen to episode #166 to discover how to be One Half of a Healthy Relationship

~One of my favorite books on love and being loving in a relationship inspired episode #128 - The Quest for a Soulmate: The Myth Hindering an Amazing Love Life

3. Understand the value of boundaries and understand they will evolve

Boundaries define us, as Henry Cloud reminds. Literally, the lines we put in our lives define what we will step forward and try and what we will not. Boundaries can limit us. Boundaries can protect us. Boundaries paradoxically can set us free.

Knowing how to set boundaries after we have discovered what our boundaries need to be for the chapter in our life we find ourselves gifts us with a powerful foundation. Without boundaries, the wind can take us where it will because we don't know what where we want to go and we certainly don't know how to head in the right direction.

On the flipside, rigidity when it comes to boundaries can be harmful if it prevents us from exploring what we are capable of sharing with the world. Ah, a tenuous dance which requires of each of us to do our own homework, not follow, because it is our heart, our life that will be set free when we find the sweet spot between the right boundaries and vulnerability. (Listen to episode #126 to discover the Powerful Couple that is Boundaries & Vulnerability.)

4. Learn the skill of effective nonviolent communication

For every director who wins praise from their cast and crew, there is a director who bullies, rants and whines. Effective communication, nonviolent communication, is a skill we must choose to learn if we want to have a fulfilling life and strong and healthy relationships with others.

To model said communication, observe someone who understands the components of nonviolent communication certainly helps us to acquire the skill, but we must take it one step further to understand why they are communicating as they are. We must again be the student for our lives to reach their fullest potential.

As I shared in episode #293, I highly recommend reading Marshall Rosenberg's book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. I have read and will reread this book for understanding how to understand anger, understanding the four basic steps of clear, effective, empathetic communication, and how to honor my own journey, letting go of guilt, shame, anything the outside world wishes me to feel in order to stop me from traveling a path that brings joy.

Effective communication with ourselves and others is the way toward directing an award-winning life to continue with the analogy. To clearly convey and know what you wish to materialize, you need to be able to work with others being empathetic and aware along the way, not only of those who will walk with you or cross your path, but with yourself.

5. Understand and practice the fundamental physical components of you

To delve a bit deeper into the physical aspect of #1, knowing how your body, your mind, your temperament function and how they can function well will give you a roadmap of how to design the set of your life. It will also help you clearly understand what your boundaries need to be.

6. Be Brave

Living an active life, being the director of your own live demands of you to take action.

You cannot wait to see what someone else thinks, whether someone else approves, whether the prices will be this or that or another, at some point, you simply need to act.

Wait a second, you may be saying, didn't I say each of us is the director not the actor? Okay, perhaps a poor choice of words, but not really. Remember, you are the director of those actions. You decide when to take the first steps, when to set out and try something for the first time, when to let go, when to say yes, when to determine a certain chapter of your life has now concluded and you will be stepping into the next.

Being brave. A choice made by the director, and it is no act. Being brave takes raw courage after months, perhaps years of deliberating about when or if you should indeed do just that - be brave. Let me reassure you, being brave will set you free. In the meantime, you will quake, but you will not crumble if what you seek aligns with what you know to be true about yourself (remember #1).

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.” —Helen Keller

The analogy of the director does not perfectly align with living our one and only life. After all, we are talking about a fictitious story capable of being enjoyed for generations. Our lives are anything but fictitious. No, we know, our lives are all too real, but do we?

I ask this question because what if poet David Whyte correctly nailed it when he wrote "What if the world is holding its breath - waiting for you to take the place only you can fill?" Why aren't we filling it? Perhaps because we have chosen to follow someone else's script, and not direct our own. Perhaps because we have forgotten to write our own script and direct it as well. We can have chapters in our own lives, the one prior being necessary for the next, not less relevant or bad, simply vital to live the journey we are on, trusting the steps we need to take in a new direction.

Today, tap yourself, hire yourself, assign yourself purposely and intentionally as the director of your life, and I am confident, you will begin to see the positive and desired change which may have only been a dream previously.

SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES YOU MIGHT ENJOY:

~8 Ways to Become the CEO of Your Own Life, episode #40

Petit Plaisir

—Un Soir à L'Opera candles

Tune in to the latest episode of The Simple Sophisticate podcast

[puddygeeks]

Beauty

Garnier SkinActive BB Active – Combination to Oily skin BB cream

Last time I talked about my love for Estee Lauder Double Wear Foundation, and although I’ll admit that I’m still absolutely smitten with the coverage and smooth finish it gives, if we’re getting down to real talk, it’s a little out of my budget right now. I’ve been using luxury makeup for quite a few years as my treats throughout the year, but now that we’re committed to saving for a place to live and a wedding, spending money is a thing of the past! Alongside the cost, I’m now getting up at 6am, and so a long makeup routine is not something I have the energy for. That’s where this BB cream comes in! Originally I bought it for Florida as I wanted something lightweight with SPF, that wouldn’t melt too badly in the heat. This gives reasonably good coverage without being overly obvious, stays pretty well over the day and doesn’t feel thick or cakey on your skin. With a layer of powder and some concealer, I’m happy with the finished result for a Monday to Friday at work. At £9.99 per bottle at full price, which has lasted me 5 months already, it’s an absolute bargain! If you fancy giving it a try it’s currently on offer for £6.65 at Superdrug.

Coty Airspun Translucent Loose Powder

This is another product I would consider a luxury item, and honestly I don’t know what I’ll do when it runs out! I don’t use a huge amount of this day to day, I mostly use it for cosplay, but I love to keep it in my daily makeup bag instead of with my costume makeup as it can be used to fix so many problems. I use this powder mostly for contouring when I need an extreme contour to look like a different character, but I also use it for parties or nights out, when I want a heavy makeup look. On a daytime look, I’d mostly use it to fix any shine or areas where I have a larger skin problem I want to cover, like when my dark circles get too raccoon like. Currently it’s not too costly, as there seem to be some U.K sellers on Amazon meaning you can get it for £12.99 including postage, but the last time I ordered it from Amazon I had to have it shipped from the U.S. which got expensive fast, and I think I ended up spending around £30 for it. However that was two years ago and I still have plenty, so I’d absolutely say it’s worth the cost.

Maybelline Tattoo Brow 

As I mentioned earlier, I now get up at 6am Monday to Friday for my job, and as someone who is absolutely not a morning person, this has been a struggle. I’ve tried to keep my makeup routine as minimal as possible, because I can’t bear to think about getting up any earlier, and Tattoo Brow has helped to keep it short & sweet. This usually lasts about 3 days before I need to start filling my brows again, but at the moment I’m on day 6 and still only need to top up rather than completely shape my brows. I find shaping my brows to take me a while in the morning, so having them prefilled is amazing. It’s easy to do, and once you’ve applied it you can chill out for 2 hours whilst it works its magic. Then you simply peel it off (pain free and doesn’t pull the hair out) and your eyebrows are done for at least 3 days.

L’Oreal Paris Miss Manga Mega Volume Mascara

I originally bought this as my bestie Hollie rated it and it was far cheaper than the mascara I had been using. I honestly thought it looked like the best mascara in the world and would make my lashes look huge. It turned out that Hollie just has mega dollie lashes naturally and it wasn’t the mascara that was doing it haha! Having said that, this mascara has given me the fullest lashes I’ve ever had, it’s just unfortunate that mine are very short. As you can probably see from the photo, my bottle is very well loved and coming to it’s end, but I thought I’d include it as it’s a budget item that really does the job. I’m not sure if I’ll still get the exact same one next time, as there’s a couple of different “Miss” named products in the Mega Volume line that I’d like to give a try. For now though, if you’re thinking of trying a new mascara and saving some money off those ridiculous £20 a bottle brands which don’t really do anything extra for the money (here’s looking at you Benefit) I’d definitely rate the Miss Manga for only £7.99! Maybe I’ll even review them all over 2019.

Jeffree Star Velour Liquid Lip

I have wanted some of these for the past 3 years since my bestie Claire let me use hers. They’ve been out of my budget pretty much the whole time, so I waited until I went to Florida and planned to buy some to bring home. It was only half way through my trip I realised there wasn’t any shops near us that stocked them and I’d need to buy them online, and I didn’t have time to do so. I was pretty devastated and thought I’d have to wait until I could afford to import some, until my lovely friend Helen came up with these babies! She’d been trying to sell them for ages and they were brand new, so I snapped them up immediately. And I must say, they have absolutely delivered. They apply beautifully (bar the fact I’m personally terrible at them) and they last all day, even through meals. The colours are to die for and I can guarantee I will absolutely be buying more! Thanks Helen! ❤ I currently have the shades Skin Tight, Mannequin, Posh Spice and Androgyny: my absolute fave! I’ll be posting a photo of each on my Instagram later this month if you’re interested in seeing them on.

Kent Brushes Pebble Brush with ladybird

Okay I know I’m late to the party on this one, but I finally invested in a tangle teezer style brush. It took me forever to get one as I just felt they were incredibly overpriced for a hair brush, but I decided to give it a go when I saw this one for £7 and see if it made a difference. I’m so glad I did! My hair has always been ridiculously knotty, but especially now that it’s coloured I find that it dries out easier and can matte up if not well looked after. I’m much more invested in hair care now, as I want to keep my bright colours without ending up having to cut all my hair off to rescue it again, so keeping it matte free is just another step I need to do. I’d say they’re definitely worth investing in if like me your hair knotts a lot, because they’re designed to pull through the tangles without causing total agony. Recently, I even had a cashier during my food shop ask me how my hair is coloured and so healthy, so I guess I must be doing something right?

Food

Aldi Choceur Milk Hazlenut

Okay I’ve only got one food product this month so I thought I’d throw it into the same photo. We’ll keep this one short and sweet – if you like Ferrero Rocher, you will love this. It’s chunkier, but it’s basically a Ferrero chocolate bar and it’s heaven. As you can tell, my January eat healthy goal has gone very well!

Movies and TV

Spider-Man into the Spiderverse

I cannot even put into words how much I have to talk about this! I know I’m way past the hype and I pretty much saw it as late as possible in cinemas but here’s why: I’m not a Spiderman fan. I’ve tried to be, I’m just not. I like Tom Holland in Avengers, but I haven’t bothered watching his films. I know I’m a terrible comic book movie fan, but you can’t like them all. I watched up to Andrew Garfield, and although I honestly found his films okay, I just have never got hype about Spiderman. I wasn’t planning to see the Spiderverse at the cinema, although I was intrigued by the trailer and loved that it was Miles Morales they were following. (Plus not gonna lie I am a huge fan of Gwen Stacey in all forms!) What eventually got me, was seeing all of the hype online. Slowly it started to convince me, until I saw people creating their own Spidersonas and realised that the love for this movie was huge. So I decided to give it a go. And honestly, the only thing I can say without any spoilers to show how much I loved this movie: it made a previous non Spiderman fan want to cosplay several characters. If this film can make a Spiderman fan out of me, I’m pretty sure it can make a fan of anyone. Go watch it.

How To Train Your Dragon: 1&2

Speaking of being late to a series, I am seriously late to this one. I tried watching the first many years ago, mainly just because of my uncontrollable love for Jay Baruchel. I would literally watch anything if his iconic voice and hot skinny self was in it (see Fan Boys, I am so far from into Star Wars but I love that film cuz I just adore him as nerdy, awkward Windows <3). For whatever reason at the time I couldn’t get into it and always meant to go back to it. Karl forced me to watch it last weekend and we burned through both movies. I am beyond excited for the third movie, and it is definitely on my list for cinema visits this month. These films are heart warming, fun and carry some really important messages. And now I want my own Toothless plush to cuddle. And my own Hiccup.

Birdbox

I know literally everyone has talked about this and most people are sick of hearing about it so I’ll just keep this brief. This movie messed me up. I truly enjoyed it, but I was sweating like crazy the whole time and actually felt like I should keep my eyes closed. It definitely got in my head and made me nervous. I thought it was an excellent concept and really stood out from other apocolypse films I’ve watched. Also Sandra Bullock is a goddess as usual and I continue my lifelong worship of her.

Maniac

I thought I’d better throw a TV show in here to mix it up. Yet another thing that messed me up. It probably took around 5 episodes for Karl and I to decide if we actually liked this show, and even by the end I’m not sure if we could say that we did. But it was intriguing and completely different from anything else. At the very least I can say that Jonah Hill and Emma Stone have shown how incredibly talented and versatile they are. I can’t even comprehend how difficult it is to play a single character so many opposing ways in one show, but they nailed it and the result was something powerful and unique. By the end of the show, we didn’t realise how attached we had got to the characters and how badly we were rooting for them. Worth watching, at the very least for how much it stands out from the crowd, makes you think and for an example of excellent writing and acting.

Music

I don’t have a particular album that has been my favourite this month, instead it’s an artist. I’ve been on massive James Arthur binge as late, I’ve always liked his music, but recently I’ve realised how much. Every time he comes on the radio I turn it up, and his  voice always makes me all gooey and doe-eyed. So I’ve been listening to a lot of it! Here’s my songs of the month, including my latest James Arthur loves.

Empty Space – James Arthur (How have I only just found out Tom Felton is in the video for this?! This just made top of list!)

Nothing Breaks Like A Heart – Mark Ronson ft Miley Cyrus

Sunflower – Post Malone & Swae Lee

The Power Of Love – Dalton Harris feat James Arthur

Sweet But Pyscho – Ava Max

Without Me – Halsey

  And that’s a wrap!

Hope I’ve been able to give you some inspiration for the month. Let me know what your Jan faves have been in the comments

Peace

Kit xx

January Favourites 2019 Beauty Garnier SkinActive BB Active - Combination to Oily skin BB cream Last time I talked about my love for Estee Lauder Double Wear Foundation, and although I'll admit that I'm still absolutely smitten with the coverage and smooth finish it gives, if we're getting down to real talk, it's a little out of my budget right now.

[jenmedsbookreviews]

So. Funny old week. Started off in a rather unspectacular fashion. Went to work. Did work type stuff. Got bored. Rinse and repeat on Tuesday. Well, Health and Safety meeting on Tuesday so I was mainly depressed by lunchtime, but still relatively uneventful. Flying visit to Dublin on Wednesday (literal as it’s a long walk from my house) in which I managed to set the Irish budget (mostly). Go me. On the plus side I got a lot of reading in at the airports and on the plane so it wasn’t all bad.

Thursday… what to say about Thursday? Well, first up, I was only in work for half a day which is always nice. I had the afternoon booked off to attend the book launch of Lloyd Otis’s debut novel, Dead Lands. Great book which I’ll be reviewing very soon and which, coincidentally, I was actually reading on my way to London. Arriving in London, me and my sister decided to treat ourselves to some wonderful Danish pastries at Ole & Steen on Haymarket. If you like Danish pastry (and I mean the real deal not the soggy stuff you find festering in the cake department fo supermarkets) then you could do worse than visit this place. I’m not being paid to say this, not at all. I just happen to think their food is lush and very reasonably priced for a central London Cafe/Restaurant.

So, one lovely toastie and cake fest later, Mandie and are are headed to the nearby (overpriced) giant sweet shop so that she can buy her friend a stick of pink rock. It’s a thing… Don’t ask. While I’m loitering in the entrance trying not to get enraged by the prices they are charging (£10 for a box of Oreo cookies!!!) I decide to check my emails. Oh my giddy Aunts. I won’t lie. I know I must have looked like a complete div. I know this as while I was reading one particular email I was stood staring out at Piccadilly Circus literally opened mouthed in shock, waiting for Mandie to join me and check that I wasn’t actually seeing things. Please note – I am getting very old and I wasn’t wearing my glasses so I could quite honestly have been reading anything. But no. I wasn’t seeing things. What I was reading was real.

I had received an e-mail from The Writer Awards, telling me that I had been named as one of the top nominated book blogs. Apparently they had been seeking nominations and from 1000+ recommendations, my little old blog had been selected as one of the best. Now, being honest, and being blind, I hadn’t read the whole email and I am always cautious about selecting links in emails as you never know if it’s a virus. I’d seen mention of top 33 so I figured number 30 wouldn’t be bad, but being the sceptical soul that I am, I googled The Writer Awards rather than followed the link. Sure enough a site showed up a the top of Google and I clicked through to find the Blogger Awards near the top of teh site. As I started clicking through the list, I really expected to be scrolling through for hours. Imagine my surprise when at No.10 I found Jen Med’s Book Reviews. No. 10!!!

I double checked the e-mail and sure enough there it was. Ranked no. 10. Of 1000+ blogs. And why – well apparently this little weekly mind melt is one of the reasons. Who knew. I thought it was just a good way to fill a gap in my blogging diary 😀

For those of you reading this on a phone, what this says is

This blog nicely weaves in the author’s own adventures through weekly recaps. It’s like you’re following a bookish journey from book tours to recaps to the reviews themselves. The creator’s personality really shines through!

Now personally I believe that they missed the word disorder out of the above statement but let’s look at the facts: Weekly adventures from book tours (Dead Lands – check), recaps (look below – check) and the reviews themselves (see the bottom of the post for links to all of last weeks posts – check). Well. Yep. That’s me then.

All joking aside, I am still rather stunned to have received the email. I’ve only been blogging for around 15/16 months, and in all honesty, only really been pushing myself to take it seriously since last November (a post a day for months now excluding Christmas) so this is absolutely amazing. Whoever it was that nominated me, thank you. It really means a lot. I knew nothing about this, can’t really understand how I got here, but at least I know that all of my hard work (well reading and occasional rambling) does mean something. I often feel that although I have a bias towards crime fiction, my blog is neither one thing or another, and so it feels like it’s harder to build a following that it might be for a dedicated crime fiction or Sci-fi/fantasy focused blog for example. And anyone who knows me will testify that being recognised for my ‘personality’ has seldom been a good thing in the past. 😉 So, for a gal without a gimmick I’m feeling kind of proud.

Enough of the fluffiness… Back to Thursday night. What an evening. So great to see Lloyd again and to be able to help him celebrate his success. I have no doubt that Dead Lands is going to do really well and that he has an amazing future in front of him. I first met Lloyd at Crimefest which seems forever ago now – long I’m sure for Lloyd – but it is so good to be able to support him on his journey, even if it’s just by way of a review. Good luck, Lloyd.

So. Back to my week. Friday was all work. Boo hiss… Any way. Moving on.

Book post wise – well Monday saw my last Mr Men Christmas book arrive so I am all set for Christmas month on the blog. Sort of. And, you know how Thursday was a pretty awesome kind of a day? Well what I didn’t mention is that when I popped home at lunch before catching my train I was greeted by the Post Man bringing me a parcel. A bookish parcel. A very exciting bookish parcel. It was only Now We Are Dead by Stuart MacBride which I’ll be reviewing for First Monday Crime in November. Stuart will be appearing alongside authors Vaseem Khan, Simon Booker and Elodie Harper, with the panel charied by Barry Forshaw. I was lucky enough to attend October’s panel and I’m sure as heck going back for the next one. Maybe I’ll see you there.

Book purchase wise – well aside from the signed copy of Dead Lands (whoop whoop), I’ve been a very good girl. I only bought 4 books. Just 4. 2 preorders, Helen Phifer’s Dying Breath and Susi Holliday’s The Deaths of December, and two books recommended in Ann Girdharry’s recent Book Love post as they sounded right up my street, LaRose by Louise Errdich and Red Blood, Yellow Skin by Linda L.T. Baer.

Netgalley saw me downloading two titles again, both for blog tours. First up Stephen Edger’s Dying Day and also Kierney Scott’s Now You See Me. I also received an ARC of Jennifer Gilmour’s new book (more on that tomorrow).

  And aside from some teeny tiny audible purchases, namely Elly Griffiths’ The Chalk Pit, Val McDermid’s Insidious Intent and B.A. Paris’s Behind Closed DoorsBehind Closed Doors that is absolutely it.

B.Reading wise, I read just the four books this week. Been busy and in schock 😉

Books I have read

Zenka by Alison Brodie

Devious, ruthless, and loyal.

Zenka is a capricious Hungarian with a dark past.

When cranky London mob boss, Jack Murray, saves her life she vows to become his guardian angel – whether he likes it or not. Happily, she now has easy access to pistols, knives and shotguns.

Jack discovers he has a son, Nicholas, a male nurse with a heart of gold. Problem is, Nicholas is a wimp.

Zenka takes charges. Using her feminine wiles and gangland contacts, she will make Nicholas into the sort of son any self-respecting crime boss would be proud of. And she succeeds!

Nicholas transforms from pussycat to mad dog, falls in love with Zenka, and finds out where the bodies are buried – because he buries them. He’s learning fast that sometimes you have to kill, or be killed.

As his life becomes more terrifying, questions have to be asked:

How do you tell a mob boss you don’t want to be his son?

And is Zenka really who she says she is?

I read Alison’s last book, Brake Failure last year and really enjoyed the blend of humour and action. Based around an East End crime boss who is trying to get to know his son for the first time, this book is packed full of laughs, action and the odd body dump. It had me chuckling all the way through at the series of mishaps and misunderstandings. And god help Olga!!! You can see my review next week and in the meantime you can order the book here.

…

Dead Lands by Lloyd Otis

The stunning debut from thriller writer Lloyd Otis. 

When a woman’s body is found a special team is called in to investigate and prime suspect Alex Troy is arrested for the murder. Desperate to remain a free man, Troy protests his innocence, but refuses to use his alibi. Trying to protect the woman he loves becomes a dangerous game – questions are asked and suspicions deepen. 

When the prime suspect completes a daring escape from custody, DI Breck and DS Kearns begin the hunt. Breck wants out of the force while Kearns has her own agenda and seeks revenge – and a right-wing march provides an explosive backdrop to their hunt for Troy. 

Lloyd Otis brings a startling account of the past back to life over a burgeoning ’70s landscape, and delivers a thrilling piece of crime fiction that will excite any fan of the genre.

What a debut. Full of suspicion, tension there is a ruthless and brutal killer on the loose but is he the man the police suspect? Set in 1970’s London I loved the freedom that this brings to the narrative as well as adding to the tension as you know that the police cannot rely on the forensics to get their man. So will justice prevail? Well – read for yourself to find out. I have and I’ll be reviewing in a little over a week for the blog tour. However, the book is available now and you can bag a copy here.

…

A Cosy Candlelit Christmas by Tilly Tennant

All singleton Isla wants for Christmas is to be left in peace, but a surprise trip to the Alps means there’s a chance for romance in every snowflake that falls…

It’s the week before Christmas and Isla McCoy has just received an unexpected gift: a letter announcing she is due a life-changing inheritance, but only if she’s willing to make amends with the father who abandoned her. 

She has absolutely no intention of forgiving him, but who could resist an all-expenses-paid trip to the French resort of St Martin-de-Belleville? 

There she meets smooth-talking Justin and nerdy glaciologist Sebastian; two very different men, with two very different agendas. Torn between her head and her heart, Isla finds herself utterly lost in a winter wonderland of her own feelings. 

Surrounded by twinkling candles and roaring log-fires, Isla’s resolve finally begins to melt. But will she learn how to reconnect, not only with a whole new family, but with herself and her heart?

A gorgeously heart-warming festive read to help spark a little romance in those long winter nights. Perfect for fans of Jane Linfoot, Debbie Johnson and Jenny Colgan.

The difficult situation of meeting her estranged father is what greets Isla this Christmas. But maybe that’s not all. In an idyllic ski-resort setting, with crisp white snow and beautiful scenery all around, could love also be on the cards. Released on 26th October, I’ll be spilling the beans on this book really soon, in the meantime you can order a copy right here.

…

The Lost Child by Patricia Gibney

They placed me in here and threw away the key. I look down at the gown they’ve put on me. I want my own clothes. I don’t know how long I’ve been here.

An elderly woman is found murdered in her own home, and Detective Lottie Parker and her partner Detective Boyd are called in to investigate. When they discover that the victim’s daughter is missing as well, they start to fear for the safety of the whole family…

Two days later as a nearby house is set on fire and with the body count rising, Lottie and her team begin to unpick a web of secrets and lies, as the murders seem to link back to a case investigated by Lottie’s father before he took his own life. 

With little knowledge of what really happened to her father, Lottie knows this is a case that could give her some answers. But how much does she want to know? And how far is Lottie prepared to dig to uncover the truth?

The Lost Child is a thrilling page-turner from the bestselling author of The Missing Ones and The Stolen Girls that will have you guessing right to the very last page. Perfect for fans of Rachel Abbott, Angela Marsons and Robert Dugoni.

Book three in the Lottie Parker series sees our troubled Irish Detective investigating a murder and brutal attack which could well have links back to her own father. With her personal life as complicated as ever, can Lottie keep her head clear enough to get to the truth? You can find out when the book is released on 27th October if you preorder the book right here.

…

I’ll take that as I’ve been busy this week. Blogging wise, another really full on week of reviews and book love which you can follow right here.

The Unexpected Inheritance of Inspector Chopra

#BookLove: Anne Williams

Snowflakes, Iced Cakes and Second Chances

#BookLove: Ann Girdharry

Cover Reveal: Conrad Jones

Press Release: Heywood Hill Competition

Her Last Secret by Barbara Copperthwaite

The Fallen Agent by Oliver Tidy

Snare by Lilja Sigurdardottir

The week ahead is just as busy with a mammoth number of blog tours. First up today is Zoe Sharp’s Fox Hunter; on Wednesday is The Second Son by Andy Blackman, Thursday is Lily Graham’s Christmas At Hope Cottage and Friday is Sharon Maas’ The Girl From The Sugar Plantation. I’ll also have book love posts from Joanne Robertson of My Chestnut Reading Tree and Meggy Roussel of Chocolate’n’Waffles and my second Inspector Chopra review. Busy, busy, busy – just how I like it.

Adventure wise – well nothing bookish but I’ve got to travel to Manchester and Edinburgh this week to deliver some project training so who know what I’ll listen to along the way.

Have a fabulous week of bookishness all.

JL  (award winning book bloggist  )

Rewind, recap: Weekly update w/e 15/10/17 So. Funny old week. Started off in a rather unspectacular fashion. Went to work. Did work type stuff.

[littlesparklight]

Recently read an article that made a whole lot of sense regarding the duel's placement in the Iliad/late in the last year of the war (plus attendant arguments); it's The Teichoskopia Cannot Belong in the Beginning of the Trojan War by Odysseus Tsagarakis.

(Which, go read it, whether on JStor or elsewhere!)

What it made me think of - which Tsagarakis mentions briefly in the course of the article - is the embassy by Odysseus and Menelaos that Antenor mentions to Helen. Considering how dead set on taking Troy a number of the commanders are, even in the Iliad (see Diomedes), even with the issues going on, wouldn't that attitude have been even stronger in the beginning? Agamemnon literally sacrificed his daughter to be able to go (after initially fucking up so that he would need to make that/a sacrifice).

Against that, even if Menelaos is entirely earnest in any intent on negotiation/offer to leave as long as he gets Helen and the wealth taken back, everyone has come to Troy to sack it. Agamemnon has killed a daughter for this revenge. Who'd be going home ONLY with Menelaos gaining back what he lost?

On top of that - what was even put forth by Menelaos and Odysseus?

Just Helen and her wealth?

Or Paris dead, too?

Considering that, even in the last year of the war, aside from forcing Paris into the duel (and, when interrupted, certainly the supposed outcome isn't forced through in any way), no one actually does anything... Right in the beginning his family, especially Hektor and Priam would have even less reason to go along with anything that leads to Paris dead, so even if they would have agreed to Helen&the wealth back, they're still refusing half of the potential demands.

Which I doubt would be accepted by Menelaos at that point, or the Achaeans in general.

But, additionally, the Hittites had a law about adultery that went that the husband could kill both wife and lover if he came upon them, but if he waited, he had to take them to the king, and could then choose to take his wife back - but he would then also have to spare the adulterer lover. (If the husband gave the decision to the king, the king could then decide to either have them killed or spare them!) So you even have a law precedent Priam could be leaning on as soon as Menelaos says he wants Helen back alive but wants Paris dead, which, again, you're left with any "negotiations", whether in earnest or not, stranding.