#‘that’s right Johnny Silverhand we should fuck em up’

[squintsintwink]

Cyberpunk 2077 is my favorite anti-capitalist game that I spent 70 dollars to play

[johnny-freaking-silverhand]

Keep Fighting

Johnny Silverhand X fem!V/reader 

This is my first time writing for Johnny so be kind 😂

Part 2 HERE

Warnings: talk of death and hopelessness.

Summary: After hitting another dead end, you’ve grown tired of fighting the inevitable, and it’s Johnny’s job to get you back on your feet.

Returning to your apartment, the door closed behind you and you tossed your jacket onto the couch. You headed straight to the bed in the corner of the room, collapsing onto it without a sound, you didn’t even have it in you to let out a defeated sigh. You were just silent, staring up at the ceiling with a blank expression. 

Of course that silence couldn’t last long because the cause of all your problems, Johnny fucking Silverhand, materialised in front of the bed. “Getting an early night?” Johnny asked mockingly. “Had a rough day?” could he sound any more condescending? 

“Rough life” you muttered, closing your eyes and just hoping that he goes away. 

“So what? You’re just going to go to bed and cry about it? C’mon, up and at ‘em. We have shit to do” he clearly wasn’t a fan of your plans for the afternoon, because that’s exactly what you wanted to do. 

“Take a day off, asshole” you still didn’t open your eyes, trying to will him away even though that had never worked in the past. 

“We can’t afford a day off. Get your ass up, march out that door, and get me out of your head. It’s boring up in here” Johnny complained. If he was trying to be motivating, he was failing hard. 

“Then suffer” you scoffed. 

“If you’re not going to do anything useful, at least do something fun. Of all the heads I could be trapped in, why did it have to be the head of some boring street-kid?” he continued to complain. 

“Just go away, Johnny” you sighed, opening your eyes and finally lifting your head to peer over at him. As usual, he was leaning against the wall beside your bed with his arms folded over his chest. 

“I can’t, remember?” he rolled his eyes. 

“Then just leave me alone” you dropped your head back down onto the bed, knowing he wouldn’t be generous enough to just do as you asked. 

“You need a kick in the ass, and my foot just happens to be the perfect size” Johnny pushed himself away from the wall, or mimicked it? You didn’t even know anymore. 

“Just shut the fuck up for once” you finally snapped, sitting up and leaning back on your hands as you looked at the digital hallucination. “You think you have it rough because you’re bored? I’m dying, asshole, and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Nobody can help, I’m fucked” you reminded him, perhaps a little explosively. 

“I already died once and look at me now, being given a second chance...kinda. I’m proof that the improbable isn’t impossible, baby” Johnny held his arms out to his sides, as if presenting himself to you. 

“Don’t call me that” you groaned, having just grown tired with him. Could he just show you some sympathy or humanity once? You didn’t understand why he cared anyway, when your consciousness fades away, his just takes over and he gets to live again, so why is he complaining? 

“You know what? Just fuck off” you didn’t even sound angry anymore, just exasperated, and maybe that was what told Johnny it was time to give you some space. 

Johnny just rolled his eyes at you before disappearing. You knew that he was still there, technically, sitting in the shadows of your mind, he never completely went away...unless you took those blue pills that he hated. At least you didn’t need to worry about his stupid-ass comments for a little while.

- 

Johnny was generous enough to give you some space and some time to calm down but when he eventually decided to bug you again, he reappeared. “Are you done with your little pity party now?” he asked. He truly didn’t mean any harm, not anymore anyway, he just seemed to have a tough time expressing that. 

However, you didn’t respond. When he reappeared, he found you sitting on the couch in your apartment, looking at the two pill bottles sitting on the coffee table in front of you. One blue, the other red. 

“You better not be thinking about taking those pills, they fuck with my head and not in a good way” Johnny chastised, ready to take control of an arm to prevent you from banishing him. 

“I’m not thinking about taking the pills...not the blue ones away” you assured him quietly, you didn’t feel like fighting with him right now. “I think I might be considering Misty’s suggestion. Hell, she was giving me a merciful option and I nearly threw it back in her face” you shook your head at yourself. 

Johnny’s brow furrowed slightly in confusion. He looked at the red pills for a moment before looking back at you, realising what you were saying. “You’re giving up” it wasn’t a question, it was a statement, 

“What’s the point of slowing down the inevitable?” you asked, finally looking up at him. “You clearly have more interest in fighting than I do, so why don’t you just take over, let me hand over control” you shrugged. 

“...you don’t mean that” he frowned at you. He gave you a hard time sometimes but this wasn’t the same person he met not all that long ago. 

“I do” you insisted. 

“You really want to just disappear? I thought you wanted to be remembered, to become a legend. The ‘major leagues’, that’s what you called it, wasn’t it?” were you really giving up on all of that? 

“We’ve looked for solutions but they just keep telling me they can’t help” you reminded him, as if he needed reminding. Every time you sought help, they told you that you were dying, that his friend was dying, he couldn’t just forget that.  

“But you don’t stop looking. You don’t stop fighting” Johnny snapped slightly in frustration.

“I have what?...a month if I’m lucky?...and who knows how much of that time I’m going to actually be capable of doing anything” you scoffed. “I’m going to disappear and it’s not going to be painless...but I have a way out. I could take you with me but I won’t, you want to fight so I will let you” you were giving him a chance at life but he was turning it down. 

How could he accept the chance of life if the cost was your own? 

When he didn’t respond, for once not knowing what to say, you reached for the bottle of red pills. Before you could reach the bottle, you were stopped when Johnny quickly grabbed your wrist. 

You both paused, just staring the hand he had wrapped firmly around your wrist. He had grabbed you and stilled your movements, it wasn’t just an imagine, he was holding your wrist. You could feel it. Hands calloused from playing guitar and shooting guns, hands warm against your skin. Johnny was in as much shock as you, he had acted out of instinct not out of logic, and now he was clutching your wrist in his hand, able to feel the softness of your skin against his palm. 

“...well, shit” you whispered as you tore your gaze away from his hand, looking at his face again. 

“If you die, if you fade away, I still live” he told you as he released your wrist.   

“Exactly, if I just go away, you’ll be better off” you nodded. That was what you had been saying. 

“I’m trying to save your fucking life but apparently you don’t care” Johnny raised his voice, his frustration returning quickly. 

“So, why do you care?” you snapped right back. 

“Don’t ask stupid questions” he scoffed but didn’t answer you. 

“Exactly” you huffed and reached for the pills again. 

“Stop it” Johnny scolded as he grabbed your wrist again. When you attempted to reach for the pills with your other hand, he just caught that wrist in his free hand. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he asked, now holding your hands out in front of you. 

It was a good question, what the fuck was wrong with you? An answer that nobody seemed to be able to answer, or at least nobody was able to fix. 

“...I don’t want it to hurt” you confessed quietly. “I’ve accepted that there’s probably nothing anyone can do, so why suffer?” you asked rhetorically. “So...why do you care?” you repeated your question, this time wanting a real answer. 

“...I don’t know when things changed from wanting to kill you to wanting to save you, but they did. We’re in this together, we’ll end this together” Johnny assured you. 

“Thought I was boring” you mumbled as he released your wrists again. 

“You are but I like your boringness” he teased with a smile.  

“I’m not boring! Would a boring person steal from Arasaka?” you asked dramatically, your tone becoming more light-hearted, reminded of the better times you had with Johnny. He was an asshole, but he had also been a friend. 

“Maybe you’re not” Johnny chuckled. “Come on” he clapped his heads expectantly. 

“What?” you asked with a small frown. 

“Get up” he ordered but didn’t give you a chance to refuse, he grabbed your hands and pulled you to your feet. 

“I’m already sick of this. You going to start pushing and pulling me around now?” you asked, knowing this whole touch thing opened up a world of opportunities, annoying ones. 

“If I need too” Johnny nodded, making you groan. 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve actually cared about something, not letting you throw all of that away because of some bad news” he confessed as he took hold of your arms and spun you around to face the front door of your apartment. 

“Did you just confess to caring about me?” you asked, looking at him over your shoulder, a small smile on your face. 

“We’re going to figure this out, get you back on your feet and get me into my very own body” he promised you as he ushered you towards the door. “In the meantime, I’m going to show why you should keep fighting” he claimed. 

“Johnny...” you groaned, not wanting to take part in what his idea of a ‘good time’ is. 

“Today, you do whatever I tell you too” he ordered, and you could hear the grin on his face. 

“Please, that sounds awful” you continued to complain as the front door opened. 

Johnny marched you out of the door, even if you just wanted to go back to bed and wallow in self pity for a little while longer. 

“We rely on each other now. Stick with me, kid, we’re going to fight this” Johnny threw his arm around your shoulders as you headed to wherever he was planning on taking you. Hopefully it wouldn’t be as bad as you dreaded, maybe you would even have a little fun...

You have shown him how to live without anger, now just let him show you what you have to fight for. Maybe you would be each other’s answer in the end.

[lustyargonianmaid]

the line begins to blur, part one. | cyberpunk 2077

ao3 link here, give me some love if you can! words: 941 warnings: sex mention, alcohol mention. the girls are drunk and havin’ a time. no major spoilers. v has feelings for johnny and hangs with the aldecaldos. pairings: johnny silverhand x fem!v, fem v & panam palmer (platonic)

“Any beer left in there?” V lazily pointed over Panam as they laid in the dirt with their bellies facing the sky. She kicked at the box and it sounded disappointingly empty.  

“I think we polished ‘ em  all off.” Panam laughed as she propped herself up on her elbows. V struggled to sit up, her vision started to  blur,  and the all the familiar ache clouded her vision, making her wince. Panam knew better to ask her if she was okay. She wasn’t, but that’d be the day she’d  actually admit  it.  

They sat for a minute and watched the few stragglers who were still up, sitting by the fire. Panam sighed and tossed a rock into the darkness. “Good God, I need to catch a dick.”  

V’s laugh could have woken half of the  Aldecaldo  camp. “Give one of the  veterans  a whirl! I’m sure one of ‘ em  would be happy to give you a ride.”  

“Christ, V!” They both cackled loud enough for it to echo through camp – nothing the nomads weren’t used to by now. “Don’t think they could keep up with me.” Panam chimed, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “You know, Saul and I almost did once. Thank fuck we  didn’t,  or this family would be more screwed than we already are. Or one of us would be dead.”  

“Yikes. But I mean... imagine the hate sex you two would have.” The girls both laughed again as they stumbled to their feet. Stretching and brushing the dust off their clothes, not that it helped any – there seemed to be no escaping it in camp.  

V rummaged through her belongings until she found a half-emptied bottle of warm  liquor . The label had been long worn off, but it didn’t matter what it was this late into the night. These were the best of times, sitting with Panam until the early morning hours, laughing and gossiping like little girls. V felt like she had known her since childhood. And sometimes she was sad that she hadn’t.  

Then sometimes she thought about just riding out her last weeks, months, maybe even years if she was lucky, with the  Aldecaldos . No more jobs, no more Nighty City or  Arasaka  – no more bullshit. But she knew Panam and Mitch would never let her give up that easily.  

Johnny crept back into her thoughts. Not that he was never really gone; she was only more aware of him in moments of silence. V took a long swig from her bottle and shuddered.  

“You know, this engram –  Johnny .”  

“V, you know we don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to...”  

“No, no... I do.” V felt her chest tighten as she thought about him. Another familiar feeling, another thing she tried to swallow and ignore. But she knew he knew...  he had to . “Sharing your head with someone can be so...”  

“Horrifying?” Panam followed suit and took a swig.  

“Yes. But also, strangely... intimate. It's fucking infuriating at times but... he’s become such a strange comfort to me in all this shit. I don’t know how to describe it.” V’s eyes darted around the tent, looking for him. She knew he was there; he always was. But not seeing him made it all easier to put into words. Well, that and the liquor.  “I look for him everywhere. I know he’s here... well, I mean, in my head. But I always want to see him. Fuck, he used to piss me off so much...”  

“Jesus V, this is starting to sound like some  stockholm syndrome love confession.”  

“It's fucking twisted, isn’t it?” V covered her face with her hands, hoping he wouldn’t pop out in front of her.  Not fucking now . “I see it though, I see the way he sees me, I mean. And  it's  how I feel every fucking time he’s around. I  wanna  reach out and touch him.  I want him to touch me ... I  wanna  be alone with him and really know him. Outside of this fucking mess.”  

There was a long silence. It took a lot to render Panam Palmer fucking speechless, but there they were.  

“ So,  what...  do you love him ?”  

The static headache started again, and V rubbed her temples in hopes it would subside. “I don’t know... it’s probably just this fucking engram scrambling my brain and completely taking over. Mother fucker definitely does have a hard on for himself.’ V heard Johnny’s laugh behind her, but only saw cigarette smoke materialize for a moment. “Just forget I ever said anything. It’s so fucked up.”  

“No,  V . I mean yeah... It sounds absolutely nuts, but hey, I’ve seen the old vinyl covers... and those leather pants  do   kinda  do it for me.” Panam smiled and squeezed V’s hand in reassurance. “Could be some romance novel. Girl falls in love with the ghost of a  Rockstar .”  

V rolled her eyes and laughed, trying to ignore the incoming hangover that was starting to dawn on her. “I should try and sleep a little.”  

“You’re right about that.” Panam got to her feet and peaked out the tent door. The sky had started to change to a lighter hue of blue. “Don’t worry okay? This... This is all  gonna  work out. And in the meantime, I'm here.”  

V curled up on her cot as Panam left. She tossed and turned for a bit before she started to drift away. But then she felt it – a warm familiar, calloused hand lightly pushing the hair out of her face, and a thumb ghost over her cheekbone. But when she opened her eyes no one was there.  

Johnny .