#online mental health communities can be toxic

[afuckingsystemsthoughts]

the online DID community is very toxic. its honestly anti healing. it hinders healing. the online DID community is all about whining about how bad DID is for you and never seeing the bright side of having alters. if we do that, we're called cringe and accused of faking. they just focus on "im dissociating so badly idk my name!" and all the other bad parts of having DID. they are so stuck on sharing every single symptom they have, and im just trying to find systems i relate to. i dont wanna hear "im so disoriented, i feel like im in a dream, i switch with blackouts like every day" when thats not even how many DID systems experience DID- greyouts happen way more often. and not everyone with DID is disoriented by dissociation every second nor do they dissociate every second. the symptom exaggeration is all anyone will see in the online DID community especially on r/DID. when i first found out i could have DID, during the diagnostic process, we joined r/DID and it caused us damage. we felt like we werent valid and self harmed so much, we couldnt wear shorts without the scars being visible for nearly two years. i thought i wasnt valid but i wanted to be, and id exaggerate symptoms the same way most of the online DID community does. i had to leave those toxic spaces to learn that people with DID dont always dissociate every living moment theyre awake, dont always dissociate severely to the point its disorienting most of the time, dont always have blackout amnesia between every switch, dont always notice signs they have it. where did i learn the information about DID that saved my life? therapists and psychologists who worked with real DID patients, and from some systems- some DID systems who were pro recovery and some endogenic systems. the online DID community has this view that you have to suffer 24/7 and hate your alters to be valid, and when i gained knowledge and was free of that group, i felt more valid and could work on healing. i fused alters more than i split them, i was able to start making an accurate timeline of what i remember, i had more memories come back and was able to process them safely. this isnt a callout on a whole community, its just a personal experience, all i see is negativity in the online DID community and that hindered our healing. some DID systems online have helped us, but its mostly been therapists and psychologists. moral of the story: dont trust everything you see online. social media doesnt accurately show how the world works. especially when it comes to mental health. a lot of people use social media to seek attention, exaggerate their real disorders for attention, or vent their frustrations when they cant safely do it irl. most of the stuff in the online DID community, including syscourse, is all influenced by emotion not by logic, so its not 100% real. its okay to not be involved in the online community for your mental disorder. its okay to take breaks from it when it gets too much to deal with. do whats right for you.

[dragoninahumancostume]

My favorite part of being alive is that I've never felt welcome in any space except for that one year when I thought I was a non-binary bisexual asexual girl when I was 13 :)

[theambitiouswoman]

Creating stronger emotional boundaries

1. Identify Your Emotional Triggers 🧠

• What to do: Reflect on past experiences and relationships to identify what makes you feel overwhelmed, drained, or anxious.

• How it helps: Understanding your triggers helps you anticipate situations where boundaries are needed, allowing you to protect your emotional well-being.

2. Acknowledge Your Right to Set Boundaries 💪

• What to do: Remind yourself that it’s okay to prioritize your emotional health. You have a right to say no and protect your mental space.

• How it helps: Embracing this mindset empowers you to establish boundaries without guilt or fear of rejection.

3. Define Your Personal Limits ✍️

• What to do: Determine what behaviors, conversations, or interactions make you uncomfortable. Write them down if necessary.

• Examples: “I don’t engage in gossip,” or “I need time alone after social gatherings.”

• How it helps: Knowing your limits makes it easier to communicate them to others and recognize when they’re being crossed.

4. Communicate Boundaries Clearly and Calmly 🗣️

• What to do: Use assertive yet respectful language when setting boundaries.

• Example: “I’m not comfortable discussing this topic right now. Let’s talk about something else.”

• How it helps: Clear communication prevents misunderstandings and shows others that you are serious about your limits.

5. Use “I” Statements 🗯️

• What to do: Frame your boundaries using “I” statements to express your feelings without sounding accusatory.

• Example: “I need some time alone to recharge,” instead of “You’re too demanding.”

• How it helps: This approach reduces defensiveness in others and focuses on your needs rather than their behavior.

6. Practice Saying No Without Explaining 🚫

• What to do: Learn to decline requests or invitations without feeling obligated to give a detailed explanation.

• Simple responses like, “No, I’m not available,” or “I’d rather not,” are sufficient.

• How it helps: Saying no without over-explaining reinforces your boundaries and reduces feelings of guilt.

7. Prioritize Self-Care 🛁

• What to do: Incorporate self-care routines that help you recharge emotionally, such as journaling, meditation, or spending time in nature.

• How it helps: Regular self-care strengthens your emotional resilience, making it easier to maintain boundaries.

8. Limit Exposure to Toxic People 🔴

• What to do: Distance yourself from individuals who consistently drain your energy, manipulate, or disrespect your boundaries.

• How it helps: Reducing time with toxic people preserves your emotional energy and protects your mental health.

9. Set Boundaries with Technology 📱

• What to do: Create rules around your use of technology, such as turning off notifications during meals, avoiding social media before bed, or not responding to texts immediately.

• How it helps: Digital boundaries help prevent burnout and reduce stress, allowing you to maintain a healthier balance between online and offline life.

10. Use Visualizations to Protect Your Energy 🛡️

• What to do: Imagine a protective bubble or shield around you that filters out negativity and keeps you grounded.

• How it helps: Visualization techniques can help you stay emotionally centered, especially in challenging environments.

11. Practice Emotional Detachment 🌊

• What to do: Focus on detaching from the emotional reactions of others. Practice observing rather than absorbing their feelings.

• How it helps: This allows you to remain empathetic without becoming emotionally drained or taking on their problems as your own.

12. Reinforce Boundaries with Consequences ⚖️

• What to do: If someone repeatedly crosses your boundaries, let them know the consequences (e.g., limiting contact, stepping away from the situation).

• Example: “If this topic comes up again, I will need to leave the conversation.”

• How it helps: Enforcing consequences shows others that you are serious about your limits and helps prevent future boundary violations.

13. Reflect and Adjust Boundaries as Needed 🔄

• What to do: Regularly assess how your boundaries are serving you. Adjust them if certain boundaries feel too rigid or too loose.

• How it helps: Life is dynamic, so being flexible with your boundaries ensures they continue to protect your well-being effectively.

14. Surround Yourself with Supportive People 👥

• What to do: Build a circle of friends and loved ones who respect your boundaries and encourage your growth.

• How it helps: Positive relationships reinforce your sense of self-worth and make it easier to uphold your boundaries.

15. Practice Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques 🌱

• What to do: Engage in mindfulness practices like deep breathing, yoga, or grounding exercises to stay connected to the present moment.

• How it helps: These techniques help you stay calm and centered, making it easier to recognize and enforce boundaries without being swayed by emotions.

[creature-wizard]

A few tips for getting out of a toxic online group

Unlike a physical cult or something, an online group generally can't physically keep you from leaving - but that doesn't mean they can't have a powerful emotional hold on you. You mind think to yourself, "I'd really like to get out of this situation," but find yourself going back because you don't really have anything else to do, and all your friends are there.

So here's some things that might help. I'm not saying that this is going to be 100% applicable for every situation, but hopefully for some of you, they can help.

1: Get some hobbies unrelated to what the group's doing. It doesn't have to be anything huge or complicated; it just needs to be something to do apart from them. Basically, this will give you something new to fill some of your time with.

2: Get into different groups and make different friends. Join unrelated communities and hang out with people there. Again, it fills some of your time, and also scratches the social itch.

3: You can give a short, simple reason why you're leaving or spending less time with your current group. If you feel like you should or need to explain yourself, you can say something like "I need to take some time to focus on my mental health" or "I'm busy with things these days and don't have as much time to spend here."

4: Remember that your first obligation is to yourself. It can be easy to end up feeling responsible for somebody in the group; if not the whole group. That said, it's important to acknowledge when you're simply not qualified or experiencing burnout. If you or somebody else feels like things will just fall apart without you, remember that this is a fear, not a fact. You can also encourage people to seek help from somebody more qualified. If they won't do it, it's on them, not you.

5: If you're in actual danger, reach out for help. Now, I'm personally not the person who can tell you exactly what you need to do if you're in danger - but with that said, other people do. If you're not sure what to do or where to look, ask people for help. Ask friends, ask through anon messages through abuse support blogs, whatever. You can also search the Internet for resources and help.

Again, this won't cover everyone's cases, but hopefully it'll help some of you out there.

[rainbow-starheart]

I've said it once

I'll do it again for the antis to get this through they're brain

To My Fellow Antis: A Call for Understanding and Responsibility

Hello, everyone.

I want to take a moment to speak directly to my fellow antis. I understand your frustrations, your goals, and your reasons for standing against Proshippers. Many of you are driven by the desire to protect minors, to prevent the normalization of toxicity, and to speak out against harmful themes. These are noble intentions, and I share them with you.

However, I need to address a critical issue: the extreme methods some of us have taken in this ongoing conflict. Let me be clear—cyberbullying, stalking, doxxing, and sending death threats are not acceptable. These actions do not protect anyone, and they do not help our cause. Instead, they harm others and cast a dark shadow over the anti community.

Yes, I know not all antis are “rabid” or “savage.” Many of us are simply people who don’t agree with the normalization of certain toxic themes. I know that some of you are survivors of trauma, hurt deeply by seeing your pain reflected in what you perceive as glorification or normalization. Your feelings are valid, and your triggers are real. But using extreme methods to combat Proshippers only perpetuates harm—for them, for us, and for the very people we want to protect.

We must also acknowledge this truth: not all Proshippers are predators. Many of them engage with their content as a form of imagination or escapism, not as an endorsement of harmful behavior. While I disagree with the idea that “it’s just fiction” absolves accountability—because fiction does affect reality—it’s important to recognize that their intent is not always malicious. Treating every Proshipper as a monster only fuels an endless cycle of hate, misunderstanding, and harm.

Antis, for the sake of our own integrity and purpose, stop sending death threats, stop stalking, and stop doxxing Proshippers. These actions hurt our credibility and undermine everything we stand for. How can we claim to be protecting others when we engage in actions that are just as harmful as the things we oppose? It’s a lose-lose situation.

We have to face the fact that this is an agree-to-disagree scenario. Not everyone will be on our side, and that’s okay. The goal is not to “win” an argument but to set healthy boundaries for ourselves. If Proshippers trigger you, block them and move on. It’s really that simple. Fueling endless arguments only drains your energy and mental health, and in the end, nothing productive comes from it.

To the younger antis, especially those who have experienced trauma: I hear you. I know how it feels to see your pain reflected in a way that feels wrong, even glorified. But your healing is more important than trying to control others’ behavior online. Your mental health and peace matter more than any argument. Don’t waste your energy on hate—it will only hurt you in the long run. Focus on yourself, your growth, and your safety.

If someone crosses your boundaries or breaks their own DNI rules, don’t engage. Just block them. Do not add fuel to the fire—it will burn you, too.

Finally, to all antis and people who don’t agree with Proshippers: remember that your actions online reflect who you are. Being considerate and compassionate will always make a stronger impact than hate.

Please, let’s take a step back, evaluate how we’re handling this situation, and choose to leave things be. Let’s protect our mental health, our integrity, and each other by keeping it simple: block and avoid.

Stay safe, stay strong, and be mindful of the choices you make online.

Sincerely,

Rainbow StarHeart

[hologramcowboy]

The Impact of Fanaticism in the "Supernatural" Fandom on Mental Health

"Supernatural," a television series that aired from 2005 to 2020, has garnered a massive and dedicated fan base known as "Supernatural Family" or "SPN Family." The show's combination of horror, drama, and familial bonds resonated deeply with its audience, leading to a fervent fandom. While the passionate engagement within the fandom fosters a sense of community and belonging, it also presents challenges to mental health. This post explores how fanaticism within the "Supernatural" fandom affects individuals' mental well-being, examining both the positive and negative aspects of such intense engagement.

Positive Effects of Fandom on Mental Health

Sense of Belonging and Community Support One of the most significant positive aspects of fandom is the sense of belonging it fosters. Fans often find a community where they can share their passion for the show, leading to meaningful connections and friendships. The "Supernatural" fandom, in particular, is known for its inclusivity and supportiveness. For many fans, being part of this community provides an emotional support network that can alleviate feelings of loneliness and isolation . The camaraderie within the fandom can be a powerful source of emotional and mental support. Fans engage in discussions, share fan fiction, attend conventions, and participate in social media groups where they can express their admiration for the show and its characters. This sense of community can improve self-esteem and provide a buffer against the stresses of everyday life .

Coping Mechanism for Life Challenges For some individuals, the "Supernatural" fandom serves as a coping mechanism for dealing with personal issues such as anxiety, depression, or grief. The show’s themes of resilience, family bonds, and fighting against the odds resonate deeply with fans facing their own struggles. Engaging with the fandom can provide a sense of hope and inspiration, encouraging fans to persevere through their challenges. Moreover, the fandom’s creative outlets, such as fan fiction writing, art, and cosplay, offer therapeutic benefits. These activities allow fans to express themselves, process emotions, and find solace in creativity, which can have a positive impact on their mental health .

Negative Effects of Fandom on Mental Health

Obsession and Over-Identification While being a fan can offer significant benefits, excessive fanaticism can lead to detrimental effects on mental health. Some individuals may develop an unhealthy level of obsession with the show, leading to over-identification with characters or plotlines. This intense focus can result in the neglect of real-life responsibilities, relationships, and personal well-being. Over-identification with fictional characters or the narrative can blur the lines between reality and fiction, potentially leading to emotional distress when the show does not meet their expectations or when it concludes. The end of "Supernatural" in 2020, for instance, left many fans experiencing profound grief and loss, akin to mourning a significant part of their lives.

Online Toxicity and Harassment The passionate nature of the "Supernatural" fandom can sometimes give rise to toxic behavior and online harassment. Disagreements over plot developments, character arcs, or shipping (supporting particular character relationships) can escalate into heated arguments and cyber-bullying. This hostile environment can have severe consequences for mental health, including anxiety, depression, and a sense of alienation from the community that was once a source of support . The anonymity of the internet can exacerbate these issues, as individuals may feel emboldened to engage in negative behavior without facing immediate consequences. Victims of online harassment within the fandom may experience increased stress and a decrease in their overall sense of well-being .

Emotional Dependency and Escapism For some fans, intense engagement with the "Supernatural" fandom can lead to emotional dependency and escapism. These individuals may rely heavily on the show and its community as a means of avoiding real-life problems. While escapism can provide temporary relief, it does not address underlying issues and can hinder personal growth and problem-solving abilities. Prolonged reliance on the fandom for emotional support can prevent individuals from developing healthy coping mechanisms and social skills necessary for navigating real-world challenges. This dependency can perpetuate a cycle of avoidance and exacerbate mental health issues in the long term .

Conclusion

The "Supernatural" fandom, like many others, embodies both the positive and negative aspects of intense fan engagement. On the one hand, it provides a sense of community, emotional support, and creative outlets that can enhance mental health and well-being. On the other hand, excessive fanaticism can lead to obsession, online toxicity, and emotional dependency, all of which can negatively impact mental health.

Understanding the balance between healthy fandom participation and excessive fanaticism is crucial. Fans and mental health professionals alike should recognize the potential benefits of fandom while remaining vigilant about the risks of over-involvement. By fostering a supportive and inclusive community, the "Supernatural" fandom can continue to be a source of positive mental health benefits while mitigating the adverse effects of fanaticism.

References

Busse, K. (2013). Fan Cultures: Theory/Practice. Bloomsbury Academic.

McCracken, E. (2020). "The 'Supernatural' Fandom: A Space of Community and Empowerment." Journal of Fandom Studies, 8(2), 112-129.

Duffett, M. (2013). Understanding Fandom: An Introduction to the Study of Media Fan Culture. Bloomsbury.

Smith, L. (2020). "Grieving 'Supernatural': Fan Reactions to the End of an Era." Media Psychology Today, 5(3), 34-45.

Jenkins, H. (2006). Fans, Bloggers, and Gamers: Exploring Participatory Culture. New York University Press.

Fiske, J. (1992). "The Cultural Economy of Fandom." In The Adoring Audience: Fan Culture and Popular Media, edited by Lisa A. Lewis, 30-49. Routledge.

Sandvoss, C. (2005). Fans: The Mirror of Consumption. Polity Press.

[millennialsarecoolkidz]

Sometimes I would like more clarity from our main characters, not because I'm a nosy bitch (I am but it's not what I'm talking about here) but because the fandom lacks a code of ethics and online behavior.

Nic talks sometimes and we can see it's working, it's not magic but let's remember the "normalize not filming strangers..." and how the fandom helped to clean her tags.

Some things shouldn't even have to be told so I won't extend myself on this too long. Just a quick reminder: don't go under their's or their loved ones sm post to make comments about their private life, their bodies, their sexuality,... Don't troll or harass anyone, and if you're a big account with a lot of visibility, be clear about the fact that what you share will never be an excuse to go trolling or harassing real people. Yes everybody can have an opinion but freedom of speech knows limits.

Now I'll address some messages that I think they have sent to the fandom:

-Focus on their craft, their achievement, her charities and not their personal life. Yes I'm the biggest of the hypocrites saying that as I'm engaging in the shipping side of their fandom. But in my defense, on my other accounts, I only like and share these aspects of their public activities. And I think that this is what matters, give engagement to their achievement and not to gossip pages, don't worry if something pops there, you'll know it on Twitter, TikTok, reddit or Tumblr. Because engagement is money and money is given to paparazzi or used to keep those pages and mags that pressurize them. Don't call me naïve, oc it's a system and they are tools that celebrities can use too. But too much engagement in their private life leads to a level of scrutiny that is really toxic. So let's keep it quiet so they're not privileged targets anymore.

-Stop speculating publicly about someone's sexuality, Nic has liked a few posts about it. Again, I'm the first one making jokes about Nic's gay bestie in private but I'm not doing it publicly. Jake makes it clear that he's not straight, that's the only thing he wants to be known publicly (plus, for the dummies here: sexuality is a spectrum and can be fluid). And sure, gay isn't an insult but it's not a valid argument. You can't erase history or be blind to actual discrimination that this community is facing. And talking about sexuality isn't like talking about your favorite vegetables, I would be really pissed if I was in Jake's shoes. Again let's be empathetic, joking and gossiping privately about someone who wants to be a public figure is fair game, acting as the mental health of another human being doesn't matter will never be ok.

-Stop speculating publicly about pregnancy. It's a sensitive topic for millions of reasons. I really hope that Nic isn't aware of this narrative but I doubt it. Even if you think that she's hiding it with clothes, corsets, non alcoholic beers and cocktails, respect it.

-They're more than ok with the Lukola shipping, they even fuel it. Nic brings Luke a lot on her sm and interviews. Yes she uses the word friendship but it's buried under a discourse about their unique relationship/love or with pictures couple coded. Luke is less present online but the Lukola content (not even really polin if you think about it) is, proportionally to his online activity, loud. You can see it as you want: as a professional obligation or at least because they are pushed to do it by shondaland, because they find it cute and as a compliment to their acting skills, because they are secretly together, because it gives positive engagement on their sm, because they are obsessed with each other and hope that one day lukolas will be right (wink wink), because they enjoy to showcase their unique friendship,... Or it's a combination of more than one of these reasons. The fact is that they are ok with this shipping and only this one. BUT it's not an excuse to be unhinged or disrespectful, let's keep it to celebrate their cuteness and unique bond.

Now I'm going to address more speculative topics but that's how I read their "message" about Jake and Antonia. I regularly joke about how Nic is copying the way Luke has "launched" Antonia but in reality I think those two situations are handled very differently.

-Antonia is Luke's girlfriend. Around the world tour he let us know that she was his girlfriend. It wasn't really loud, but clear enough to that the invested fandom, especially the shippers, can know that he was in a relationship. And since that, he keeps reminding us of her "status" in his life. He shares nothing else, he just likes every post on her grid and coordinates posts (or at least agrees with her posting just before or after that we know his location) to let us know that they haven't broken up. Again you can think that this relationship isn't real, that it's a cover for his relationship with Nic; that they are not endgame and it's an insecure relationship; that he uses her to annoy Nic when she shows Jake; or that they are hot and heavy and a modern version of Cinderella. The fact is that Luke has said that he is not a "big romantic gesture" guy but he wants us to acknowledge Antonia as his girlfriend, and the ones making her the villain, who is lying to us when she shows they are together, need to explain me why Luke would tolerate that and keep liking her posts. Again I'm really aware of some of her posts that were a little cringe, but girl, I would have endured half the hate she got, at her age, I would have been the worst troll you would have ever seen.

-Nic doesn't want, for now, to label her relationship with Jake. Her behavior even hints at denying a romantic one (I've already said it in another post, the jakolas should keep it really quiet imo) but she's really loud about the fact that she cares A LOT about him and that he is the best. She doesn't hide their closeness even if she gets a lot of criticism for that. Again you can think that he's just a friend, that he's a rebound, that she uses him to make Luke jealous or that they are so in love, the fact is she's clear that she loves him.

So two strategies, one labelling the relationship without sharing anything more, the other showing the deep bond without labelling it, but it should lead to the same behavior from the fandom: leave the significant others alone, they care about them and they are accepted by their entourage (and that even if you don't believe that the public narrative corresponds to reality).

I think all of this is basic decency but as it seems as there is a championship about who is the better fan, we could start to follow those rules. Because... Yeah... If you can't be kind, at least be vague. IYKYK

[kuramirocket]

Hey I’ve seen your post from a couple while where you called out a couple antis for harassment (and who were drawing proshippers getting killed)

these people banded together to create an anti proship confession blog. The owner of it revealed that they’re 14, the majority of their “friends” are in that age range or slightly older (with the exception of rainbow star heart)

what’s super concerning is that they talk a lot about kink, sex, rape and nsfw of real children and fictional characters who are underage. They’re still stalking other proship blogs, especially if someone sent them asks about the situation

I’m also concerned about your-dead-girl-forever because they’re a minor who is relying on a complete stranger to be their online “parent”. Their friends said something like “‘it’s’it’s just pixels bro!’ yeah and these pixels are forming something that looks like a child with their tits out” which is really weird to say??

I’ve tried reporting all posts which talk about the aforementioned topics but tumblr really doesn’t care, meanwhile they’re going around calling a person with WWII OC’s a Nazi despite them explaining they aren’t one

Yeah, I have seen that anti proship confession blog and everything going on between rainbowstarheart and your-dead-girl-forever.

It's definitely concerning because your-dead-girl-forever seems to be mentally unwell and should not be engaging in 'discourse' at all. Especially not with people they think are "pedophiles." Seriously, idk why some antis, especially minor antis, think it's okay or even safe to go yell at people they think are dangerous. For all they know the person they are harrassing or talking to are legitimate offending pedophiles or just people who will not hesitate to doxx/harm them.

If they really hate proshippers that much then they should just block and move on to not see proshippers or the content they post anymore. And to keep doing that no matter how many times they have to or how annoying it is to constantly have to do so. There's no point in responding to any and all hate they receive.

Which btw, any proshipper who is engaging in harrassment should not call themselves a proshipper and should not even be in the community. Proshipping is ship and let ship, but also anti harrassment.

And also like you said, minors should not be taking about sex or anything underage, fictional or not, with complete strangers, especially not with adults. I mean, with their same age friend group, okay, I get minors are curious, but still if it's with someone you only know online, you need to be safe and careful. Especially, cause you know some people may be lying about who they are and their age.

Which is why, as I've always said, education about internet safety and real red flags is so important, not the angry fear mongering that antis do calling everyone pedophiles for transgressive and sexual fictional works involving 'minor' characters or not.

This is why I made this post with the resources and links where I got the information at the bottom of said post.

And honestly, I wouldn't trust someone who claims and acts like a 'parent' to minors. For one, I seriously doubt rainbowstarheart is even a professional mental health expert with years of education and experience. It's one thing to try to help and give advise to someone, but rainbowstarheart is probably not even qualified to help a mentally unwell minor who seems to also self harm. Your-dead-girl-forever needs actual professional help if they want to get better and what they're doing of screaming at proshippers and others online will not help them in the least. They're just surrounding themselves with more toxicity.

Anyways, at this point. Idk what can be done. Reporting these accounts is good, but the fact is they'll probably just make more accounts anyway. Plus, even if a person tries to genuinely reach out, their group will just scream and laugh at the attempt anyway. They'll likely just ignore anyone that's not an anti or part of their group. Human beings are social creatures that just react like this and who want to be with people with the same mindset, sometimes without even realizing it.

The best thing that can be done, I think, is 1) DO NOT harrass them and 2) maybe just send links and information to studies and research by professionals that will help them be safe online and recognize actual red flags and warning signs. At least this way they will be informed and hopefully be safe.

Though, you should keep in mind they may disregard this information, regardless. I know I've seen antis sneer at professional information and tips regarding online safety shared by proshippers because it's "proship propaganda."

Unfortunately, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped or is unwilling to recognize that they are unwell. They have to make the descion for themselves.

Also, please don't beat yourselves up over this situation. If you didn't partake in these people's harrassment, then you have nothing to feel guilty over. Just remember, we have so much resources, links, research and studies by mental health and sex experts that prove engaging in fiction involving taboo topics and all sorts of fcked up sht in fiction is not a crime or will somehow turn you into an evil monster. That's not how any of it works.

Also, go through my proship resources and information tag to see a list of these studies that prove what I am saying and what proshippers have always stated from the start.

Coping through fiction (drawing, writing, etc.) IS helpful to victims. It may not be for everyone and may actually be triggering to some people, but again, this is why professionals will work with their patients to find what works best for them in order to heal. If a coping mechanism is shown to actually be doing more harm than good to an individual then yes, any good mental health professional will look for something better. Again, coping via fiction can be very helpful while for others it may not be good for them. It all depends on the individual.

As for posting this type of content online. A person has every right to do so if they want to. The important thing is to tag appropriately and put clear warnings for said content so people may avoid any triggering and uncomfortable topics.

You should create whatever fictional content you want.

Don't let antis convince or intimidate you otherwise.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

You don't have to keep posting online even when you don't feel like or when it's too overwhleming. You don't owe anything to the people that read your blog. Ofc social media is a particular world: if you don't use your account constantly or don't choose the right hashtags, don't interact also with the right people or communities, it gets hard to keep your account interactions' rate high and even gain new followers. But your mental health comes first. And you can either schedule some posts for a few days in the future so that they can come up while you're taking a break or you can just be true and take a break openly: there's no need to be fake. Especially on some social medias we are shown perfect and beautiful lives where nothing's wrong but this is not real. Do not let yourself be fooled. Everyone goes through heavy periods, and everyone finds their escapes and ways to cope with them (and ofc to keep posting beautiful things and avoiding the negative completely may even be one), but assure yourself that you are shining a light over what's wrong at least irl: to pretend the negative doesn't exist isn't going to help you in the end. Toxic positivity is not gonna work. Take time for you and take care of you in any way you can.

This comes from someone who used to be some kind of a social media manager for a couple of associations on IG until few years ago: I had to work basically everyday (also on festivities/holidays), plan posts, find the best daytime to post and all. I liked it tbh, it felt nice also to come up with funny ideas and see the accounts grow. Ofc lukily I wasn't entirely alone, but kinda had to do most of the job alone especially towards the end... When a few heavy things suddenly happened in my life, at first I felt that this job was kinda helping me distracting myself, but after a while I realized that it was only adding more work and stress to my already busy and stressed life. So I looked at my priorities and decided to cut it off, in order to focus on what I couldn't give up and on resting too (a.k.a. distracting myself in a different way: doing non-mandatory things and freeing my mind from the need of reaching a certain result/any type of pressure, which I was already experiencing in other stuff daily... basically I diminished the amount of pressure put on myself in those days, by removing the one I had control and a choice over as it depended on me). Maybe the fact that I felt let down by some people (including a few collaborators: I kept interacting with them but ended up having to do most of the work alone anyway), added weight on my already tired and stressed mind and brought me to my final decision to leave for my best intentions. But I think it was a mixture of situations, and most of all, a self preservation mechanism.

[blueberry-lemon]

The Sites Behind Us

Cohost, the indie blogging + social media platform, is shutting down.

It’s sad, because I really liked using it.

While my two years of using it were brief, they also happened to land at the moment where I needed it most. These two years have kind of been the crossroads of two different impulses pulling at me:

The impulse to post, scroll, and be seen online

The desire to want to pull back and retreat from social media, metrics, timelines, and algorithms

Not only do these two things contradict each other, like a terminally-online tug-of-war, but they were also both complicated for me personally over these two years.

I think it would be fair to call Cohost “one of my favorite online platforms”, especially if we’re considering the design and feature set. It fit really nicely into my routine.

On the other hand, I can’t say much about the community, personally. I don’t know anything about the staff, and I almost never surfed around the tags. I stuck mostly to my own little bubble, and only browsed the “gamedev” tag and “indie game” tag to find posts to signal-boost on my alt account, Indie Games of Cohost.

I’ve heard stories of arguments, targeted harassment, defensiveness, toxicity, racial bias, and white privilege expressed across the platform. I believe all of those things 100%. And while I have nearly endless sympathy for small development teams, it’s still frustrating to see failures in properly preventing people from being exposed to that on the site.

It sadly doesn’t surprise me. Not in the sense that “we should accept these things as inevitable when people talk online” but rather that it seems that nearly every attempt to make a social media platform has failed to build in the proper level of diversity of staffing, precaution, and moderation that would be necessary to prevent things like that from festering.

The next time someone attempts to make an online space like this, I hope that they’ll take note of those failures and do better. I wish everyone could have had the same positive experience that I had, even though that clearly didn’t come to pass for a lot of people.

As I said, the feature set and general design was very much up my alley. Cohost was pitched by many as “social media with less metrics”, and thus with more space to be yourself, act like yourself, and breathe. There are subtle differences that have a lot of impact: no “Likes” metric on posts, no “Followers” metric at all, no “Follows you” badge to know whether people were your mutuals or not.

It wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but it was definitely mine. It had a lot of the convenience of a social media platform (optional comment sections, optional reblogs/shares, the ability to see everything displayed in a handy timeline you can scroll down) without a lot of the aspects that I’ve found detrimental to my focus, confidence, and mental health.

As a bonus, Cohost let you use CSS within your posts. This led to people (with better coding knowledge and patience than me) making some really creative posts that “broke the mold” of what you’d expect to see. It was refreshing because most online platforms have a pretty firm grip on what your “piece of content” is allowed to look like, aesthetically and structurally. There’s been a big drive to try to iron out what posts look like and make them consistent, such as having everything on a platform use the same font or be the same size. It was nice to have a place that didn’t play by those rules.

It was essentially more like a blogging platform, before LiveJournal and Tumblr became bloated with a bunch of more grabby features. It was a place for experimental and long-form posting, as opposed to the machine gun fire of sites like Twitter, TikTok, etc.

It also felt like, at least on my own personal timeline, that it was more about posting stuff than about reblogging an endless stream of stuff. Which is huge for me. There is something about the concept of the retweet/reblog/share that kind of opens the flood gates on most people, letting out an endless stream of “content” that is impossible to ever fully digest. I’ll admit, I’m not a huge fan. I like hearing from people individually, rather than always seeing posts passed along from strangers.

I think a large part of why these things appealed to me specifically is because of my shifting relationship with using the internet.

My impulse to post, scroll, and be seen online

I started posting on the internet when I was around 10 years old.

I went to message boards, webcomic hosting sites, and browser-based online RPGs.

After a few years of that, I found my way onto deviantArt. A few years after…Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr. A few years after…Discord.

For better or worse, “posting” and “scrolling” became central to my identity. I word it that way not out of pride but mostly just to be blunt. If you’re a very indoor internet kind of person, you can probably relate.

When it comes to the question of “Why do I spend time online?”, there’s always been two strands of my DNA. One was built on socializing, being myself, and meeting new people to talk to. The other was built on creative hobbies like drawing, animating, and writing.

So, in a sense, posting and scrolling had always felt foundational to how I lived my life. It felt like a necessary part of connecting with others and discovering who I want to be. Likewise, it felt like a necessary part of expressing myself, learning to draw, learning to animate, learning to make games.

From a purely skill + career standpoint…posting and scrolling are directly responsible for me learning to draw, learning different image/video software, getting commission work, and getting jobs and opportunities.

So in that way, that impulse has been beneficial to me. That’s…probably true? Mostly.

But I have more reservations about it now than ever before.

I’m particularly unsure about the 10-year span stretching from 2010 to 2020, where I was most immersed in Twitter and Tumblr.

On one hand, I’m proud of what I did, directly as a result of my impulse to post and be seen.

I created a webcomic, Soul Symphony, that ran for 5 years and 450 pages, telling a story from beginning to end

From around 2015-2017 I was posting 4 or 5 new drawings to Tumblr per month, usually in full-color. My skills, confidence, and follower numbers were quickly climbing as a result of that consistency.

I ran a charity fanart zine that helped me connect with a bunch of really cool artists and helped raise money for clean water

Posting stuff to Twitter and Tumblr was kind of my creative outlet even outside of college (where I majored in Illustration and Animation) where I could truly do what I wanted to do without worrying about what professors would think

I made new friends and mutuals with different people who clicked with me

All of this was born out of a desire to get attention on the internet. It was driven by an engine of posting and scrolling. It was, for better or worse, driven by the fuel of social media metrics.

As proud as I am of those things, and as much as I know they made me who I am…there is a voice in the back of my head.

“What would life had been like if you’d logged off more?”

That’s probably dramatic, but it’s something I wonder. Would things had been any different if I had played outside with the neighbors more? Or stayed after school more? Or joined clubs in college?

Maybe I could’ve made different connections, or learned different things. Maybe I’d be better at making friends and keeping them. Or maybe my motivation to be creative simply for creativity’s sake, as opposed to getting obsessed with online metrics, would’ve lasted a few years longer.

Maybe I wouldn’t have burnt out.

Even as I get older and think more about “hanging out with people IRL” as the solution for all of these thoughts…the pandemic came along and made that complicated. It’s hard to feel confident and safe going to a local board game shop to learn a TCG, or throw a bunch of get-togethers, when COVID hangs over it all as a potential outcome.

It’s sad, almost funny, to see my pattern of art-posting since the pandemic started. Every time I’d sign up for a new platform (restarting on deviantart, or Misskey, artfol, Bluesky, other platforms I’m probably forgetting, even Cohost itself) I’d do the same thing. I’d start posting some of my favorite drawings, to help get myself set up and see if people would start following. Inevitably, these favorite drawings would be from like 2016-2019, what felt like my “heyday” of constantly growing and experimenting. I’d throw them out into the void, get a few Likes, get a few followers, and then…I’d just feel empty.

For lack of a better phrase, my mind had become too poisoned by the metrics over time. I had slacked off on actually drawing, for its own fun and for improving. I kept hoping that by porting my archive of old art over, it would bring in a flood of followers and reignite my passion for drawing.

It hasn’t really worked.

I’ve been burnt out on drawing, and short dopamine boosts from online strangers has barely put a dent in bringing me back. If anything, the experience of just sending my PNGs to a couple of personal friends and them responding with “cool!” has been more motivating.

If you’ve ever had interest or experience in being a freelancer artist online, you’ve probably internalized a lot of rules for posting.

Post consistently and often

Re-post and bump your post a few times so that people see it in different timezones

Write good captions on your pieces that capture your persona or encourage people to share or comment below

Be smart about tagging

Jump on trends, draw fanart of popular franchises, do memes

Build up your follower count, and then try to see if you convert any of those followers into commissions, merch sales, or Patreon subs

There’s nothing inherently wrong with doing any of those things. But they definitely don’t have any correlation with “getting better at the craft” or “enjoying yourself and fulfilling yourself.” They’re a necessary social-media strategy. It’s tips on running a business.

Though if I’m being honest…there WAS something fun about being in the thick of it.

There was something energizing and electric about pumping out fanart and shotgun-blasting my work onto social media. There was something satisfying about getting commission requests. I think a big part of it was also that I ENJOYED using Tumblr and Twitter at this time. Yeah it was annoying sometimes, and yeah there was weird people on there sometimes, and yeah you had to kind of dodge through “weird discourse” and “overwhelming re-iteration of US politics” and all sorts of stuff, but the thrill on being on there and being a part of it all was fun and intoxicating.

I kind of miss those days.

But I don’t know whether I have the stomach or interest for all of that anymore.

The desire to retreat from social media

As I get older, social media is starting to taste a little weird.

It just doesn’t taste right anymore.

It doesn’t feel “fun” and “exciting.” If anything, it’s like getting a jolt of energy and attention. It’s like hooking myself up to a validation machine, or a convenient way to scroll through endless distraction.

I don’t know if it’s because social media changed, or if it’s because I’ve changed. Maybe this was the reality all along, and the people who stayed off social media from 2010 onwards were the smart ones. Maybe it’s all fine and I’m just too grumpy and sensitive now. Who knows.

Regardless of the reason, there’s a flashing light in my brain that goes off every time I find myself scrolling one of the major platforms. It’s telling me “get out of here, get out of here, this isn’t a good use of your time and energy, this might be bad for you.”

By losing my interest in major platforms like Twitter and Tumblr, it has also changed my style of posting. And by changing my style of posting, I’ve also changed what I get out of the internet and what I use it for.

Which has meant a sharp decline in me sharing art and a sharp decline in me drawing, period.

During my time on Cohost (and starting this blog), I’ve made a pivot towards writing as my outlet. It’s been a nice change of pace compared to drawing, animating, or making comics. Because of the souring taste of Twitter, I’ve also gravitated more towards long-form writing instead of little thoughts shot into the timeline.

That’s been fun, though it also comes hand-in-hand with an expectation that “less people are going to take the time to read this.” It provides less boosts to my ego and motivation, which is hard to adjust to. But on the flip-side, there are benefits. By being longer and slightly less convenient to stumble on, it kind of guarantees that anyone who took the time to read the whole post really digested and gave you benefit of the doubt.

I think that difference is worth keeping in mind, when putting stuff online. There’s a big trade-off between “This is easy for people to discover, comment on, and share” and “This is more off the beaten path, but the people who do look at it will maybe appreciate it or give it more thought.”

I’m at the risk of repeating myself, as I’ve already written my thoughts on the importance of solitude, minimizing distracting technology in my day-to-day, and being mindful of my time and decisions. I want to reform my habits, and go touch grass, so that my time online feels more enriching and interesting rather than the sludge between every idle minute.

All of that to say is that Cohost was a fitting transition period for me, as I’ve been more mindful of online platforms and how they affect me. Cohost gave me something between my previous 10-year phase (hooked straight into Twitter and Tumblr on a daily basis) and wherever I go next (reading blogs via RSS feed, browsing Neocities and Nekoweb, and continuing this blog site.)

I always feel like I’m rambling and sounding crazy, because I’m way too online for the offline normal folks, and I’m way too anti-social media for the folks who are super online. That said, I’ve noticed something surprising after it was announced that Cohost was being shut down. While some people on my timeline are linking to places where you can follow them next (like Bluesky or Mastodon), I’ve also seen a number of people who are like…“I’m not sure if there’s going to be a place where you can follow me going forward. I’m not sure if I’m interested in trying ANY social media again. I may make a blog or a personal site, but if I don’t…I just won’t be online in the same way anymore.”

Never before, when I’ve seen posts of people saying they’re leaving an online platform, have I seen so many people say that there might not be a fitting place to jump to anymore. This might just be the end of the road for posting and scrolling for them.

It goes without saying that the sites and apps we use help shape our habits.

I used to dutifully check message boards each day after school at a desktop computer. Eventually I got into a habit of posting drawings onto deviantArt, and checking for new drawings from the people I liked following one-by-one. The web was something to sort of dive into, a place to explore and express myself and discover something interesting.

After Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr came along…a lot of our habits changed. That doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. It changed our capacity to find and connect with other people, at the cost of encouraging constant scrolling and constant posting. As much as I hate the companies that create those platforms, it’s also on us to reflect on these changes and talk about them, and be responsible for our own behavior.

Every site and app has the potential to shape our behavior and our expectations. Sometimes for good, sometimes for bad.

For me, my impulse to want to scroll and post over and over is something within me. It’s not tied to any particular site or platform, it was there all along. It’s something I have to get over, or find a way to control so that it doesn’t control me.

The idea of not posting, not scrolling, not being seen online constantly…it feels like oblivion to me. It feels like a loss of identity and purpose and…existence? It’s like a tree falling in the middle of the woods with no one around to hear it. Does it matter if I’m an “artist” if nobody sees it and acknowledges it? Posting is a desperate way to reaffirm that I exist, you exist, we see each other.

That doesn’t need to be a fact of life, it’s just a quirk of my own perception. Something that I need to reflect on, and pick apart.

I hope on whatever sites we end up on next…I’ll feel seen, and you’ll feel seen too. Even if our metrics stop being in the “hundreds”, and drop down to being in the “severals.”

[roo-bastmoon]

Incredibly lucky to even be here

I just realized, exactly one year ago today (May 11th) I was diagnosed with endometrial stromal sarcoma and given less than a 34% chance of survival. I'm incredibly, miraculously lucky to be well and cancer-free today. I owe that to my amazing doctors, and also in a small way to BTS.

The moment I got told I had cancer, I immediately decided to only entertain thoughts of complete health and victory. It was a pure and immediate defense mechanism and I stuck to it. So no sad songs or movies or TV shows. No online drama. No negative nellies or naysayers. No stressful projects at work. No arguments, no entanglements, no regrets.

For months, I would focus only on laughter and quality time with loved ones and things that brought me joy, even as I had to deal with practical stuff like creating a will and a pet trust and filling out life insurance forms and undergoing test and surgeries.

BTS (and Jimin, as my "recruiter") gave me moments of grace and beauty and art and warmth and giggles--and kind ARMYs gave me a sense of belonging and community, especially during a dark and terrifying time, when in the quiet of the early morning hours, the sense that my own body was my worst enemy would eat at all my mental defenses. I could switch on my phone, go to the timeline, and ARMY and BTS would be there.

If I seem to be very Pollyanna-ish or boringly polite these days, it's because I decided one year ago to focus on what I want instead of giving energy to what I don't. I know bad things are very real and they need to be confronted--of course! But I also know that depression, anger, and fear can erode the myelin sheath wrapped around our nerve endings and weaken the walls in the chambers of our hearts; that toxic emotions can bleach our hair of color and rob our nails and skin of suppleness; that negativity can lengthen our immuno-response times to bruises and cuts.

So if other folks get a thrill, a hit of adrenaline, from drama and trash talking in our fandom, more power to them, I guess. It must serve them in some way I don't understand. Me? I find meanness and pettiness draining and damaging. So I'll never do that. I'll never rudely call someone out in public or go on their blog to rant or snipe openly about members or fellow ARMY. I will just keep myself to myself and do my best to be authentic and kind and hard working.

Doesn't always work. I'm human. I will absolutely make mistakes (case in point--the campaign idea yesterday that could have really harmed Jimin. I didn't think about all the consequences and I'm so grateful to the people who patiently set me straight.) Please know that if you ever feel strongly I'm going in the wrong direction, you can always speak to me--I'll ask a million questions, I'll hear you out, and I'll try to be flexible in my mindset. You don't have to hide behind throw-away accounts or talk to others about me. I will do my best to always be kind and act in good faith with everyone. (But I'll likely still make some mistakes, because my intentions are good but I myself am not perfect.)

By and large, I feel I'm just really astronomically lucky to be here. I know the kind of cancer I had is very sneaky and could come back at any time. So how I spend my time left in this life matters to me. I want to be a source of good in the world, help other people, experience bliss and celebrate good things. I don't want to be selfish or destructive. If I start to go that way, I know good friends will gently call me back.

Like BTS, I want to connect with people and help build something worthy. So if you're on board with that, let's be friends. And if you're not, let's part amicably.

I just... figured I should probably say that... out loud. So that's that on that.

Love you guys,

Roo

[ana-mp3]

INTRO <3 | TW: ED mentions

DISCLAIMERS:

This blog is meant to serve as an online diary and a place where I can talk about my struggles (ED, depression, ADHD, etc.). If you do not like what I post please BLOCK, DON'T REPORT.

I am NOT promoting EDs or any mental health issues I talk about.

I am very pro-recovery

ABOUT ME:

Hello! My name is Lilian, but I go by Lili. I'm queer (I really don't know TT. I'm either bi or a lesbian). I am a minor (6teen). I used to be @Lazyana (but got termed :/). I'm not sure what else to talk about.. so here are some of my interests :D. I LOVE music! I love listening to music, playing instruments, and singing! (Although I am terrible). I can play the flute, and I'm learning the piano and guitar :D (All incredibly half-assed I should mention). Along with music, I quite enjoy Philosophy/Ethics, Psychology, Geography, Vexillology, and Etymology! (Typing this out I just now realize how boring I am).

ABOUT MY ED:

(Be advised, this is very ramble-y and typed at 03:30)

I have atypical @nørexia (Which diagnostically isn't that different from regular @nør3xia). It's all the same criteria, just not being underweight. I've never received any type of treatment/medical attention for my ED. I've had an on-and-off ED for a few years now, but it got serious this year. I've always been insecure about my body, ever since elementary school. I have always been taller and a bit bigger than all my friends (It didn't help that they were/are all just naturally very skinny and short) and so I've found my ED journey(?) extremely lonely and isolating. An ED in itself is already a deeply lonesome experience, but with the addition of all your friends (ever) being the standard you so desperately wish you were just throws in new emotions. Sadness, anger, jealousy, guilt, shame, and knowing that they would never (truly) understand what you're going through. (I'm not saying that skinny people can't have ED's. I'm saying that they wouldn't understand what it's like to be bigger with an ED). I haven't told anyone about my ED for a few reasons. 1) I don't want to be a burden that they have to watch over. I don't want them to be worried about me constantly (I also don't want to feel pressured to eat). 2) I am not at the results I want yet. I've always had a thought in the back of my mind, "You can eat/get better/get help/etc., once you're skinny" and surprise surprise, I'm not there yet. 3) I just know they wouldn't/couldn't understand. They all are skinny/short/really pretty, blessed with fast metabolisms. How could they understand that I have to ⭐ve myself to get skinner. How could they understand that I hate how I look so badly, that I need to punish myself for it. How could they possibly understand my obsessively toxic mindset, where I'm acutely aware of everything I've ate and the calories I've consumed (I can't forget what I've ate until I log it). 4) They'd never look at me the same. Sure, they wouldn't judge me for it, but I'd always have that target stuck on my back forever. I'd always be 'the girl with the ED'. 5) This is one of my most vulnerable secrets I'm keeping. I can barely communicate with my friends about significantly less intense mental health issues, let alone a god damn ED.

STATS:

SW: 178lbs/80kg

CW: 160.6lbs/73kg

GW1: 154lbs/70kg

GW1: 147lbs/67kg

GW2: 140lbs/63kg

GW3: 132lbs/60kg

GW3: 127lbs/58kg

UGW: 110lbs/50kg

height: 5'8/173cm

That has been that <3. (Again please don't report, It really doesn't help in any way :( please just block me)

[thewitcheslibrary]

Cheap and easy to find crystals

We all know crystals can be expensive and take a while to save for. But if you want to use crystals in your craft, you don't need overly fancy crystals. You can just get the basics! Many crystals have multiple uses to them and can be used for a good variety of things. Especially if you stick to tumbled stones, they are easy to carry and a lot cheaper to get! So here is a small list of crystals and stones that can be brought online or even from a local metaphysical store!

Amethyst-

help with anxiety, depression, clear the mind, wash away toxic thinking, encourage solid sleep patterns, and ease tension and headaches.

or

you can use it to do the opposite of what it does if you plan on using it in a baneful way!

they come in a range of shades of purple too.

Citrine-

highly protective stone, promoting spiritual growth and cleansing the aura. It is believed to absorb negative energies and transmute them into positive vibrations.. It's also known as the sunstone and is associated with personal power and abundance.

Clear Quartz-

cleanse all the chakras, protect against negative energies, and connect with higher levels of consciousness. This powerful crystal is truly a gift from the Earth, providing healing, clarity, and light to all who embrace it.

this is a good crystal to use in replacement of others too! So if you dont have a certain one, clear quartz will be perfect to use instead!

Sodalite-

It's believed to have the ability to unite logic with intuition and the drive for truth with the rise of idealism. Practitioners have used sodalite to organize the mind, as it's said to promote rational thought, objectivity and perception.

Carnelian-

enhance self-esteem and creativity, to combat feelings of inadequacy, to increase physical energy and overcome insomnia. In the home, carnelian is believed to increase motivation towards action.

Red Jasper-

sustains and supports through times of stress, and brings tranquility and wholeness. Jasper provides protection and absorbs negative energy. It balances yin and yang. offers physical, mental, emotional and spiritual benefits such as balancing energy, reducing inflammation & anxiety, improving focus & relationships.

Howlite-

promote harmony, peace, and calmness in the wearer or those who come into contact with it. Howlite has also been said to be helpful for people who are grieving because it helps them release their emotions. help reduce stress, anxiety, and physical pain. It can also stimulate creativity, enhance communication and understanding, and foster spiritual growth. Additionally, howlite stone can help with insomnia as well as increase focus and clarity of thought.

Green adventurine-

releases old patterns, habits, and disappointments so new growth can take place. It brings optimism and a zest for life and allows us to move forward with confidence and embrace change. It enhances creativity and motivation and encourages perseverance in maneuvering life's obstacles. ostering compassion, empathy, and forgiveness. In addition to its prosperity and emotional healing properties, green aventurine enhances one's sense of optimism, self-confidence, and motivation.

Snowflake obsidian-

a deep, abiding sense of protection and reverence. It is thought to drive out demons and to embody both yin and yang principles.  release emotional, physical, and spiritual blockages, drawing out stress and tension. Obsidian is also known for clearing ancient traumas, detoxification, and encouraging personal growth. It's also good for reversing negative self-talk, actions, and beliefs.

Rose Quartz-

the stone of universal love. It restores trust and harmony in relationships, encouraging unconditional love. Rose Quartz purifies and opens the heart at all levels to promote love, self-love, friendship, deep inner healing and feelings of peace. promote feelings of self-love. “Rose quartz may be used to balance emotional health, release emotional blockages

Hematite-

stimulates concentration and focus, enhancing memory and original thought. Hematite serves as reliable protection against an evil eye. Hematite was also used as a protective amulet from wounds during fight. It grants to its wearer invulnerability, but also constrains bouts of anger.  focuses energy and emotions for balance between the body, mind and spirit. Hematite dissolves negativity and prevents you from absorbing the negativity of others. Haematite is strong, supporting timidity, boosting self-esteem and survivability, enhancing willpower and reliability, and imparting confidence.

These can all be used in baneful magic too! Just give them the intention of doing the opposite of what they do while doing a spell!

And remember tumbled stones are going to be your best friend if you are on a budget! Most metalphysical stores will sell tumbles from 0.50p - £4 (depending on the stone) But the ones that are considered basic (like the ones listed) are usually no less than £2. (thats in the uk anyways)

[crypticbydesign]

What is with the toxicity and hatred here in the past year or so? I understand that I am online a bit more than I used to be and I'm now in fandoms, but I didn't think it would be this bad. It's not just in fandoms, or online, but in my daily life and I dont understand it. Did I pick up a fucking curse or have terrible vibes or something? Like whatever fandom I try to get into is just toxic as fuck no matter what it is, my online presence keeps bringing in transphobes and racist people and other shit, and one of my siblings is a fucking bitch to the point where I am moving because I can not stand being there and it's doing terrible things to my mental and physical health. And I keep seeing shit that says "bring bullying back" or "you should've been bullied more" or "unlike yourself". On multiple online platforms and why? What is the fucking point of saying shit like that? I am so close to saying fuck this and only being online to communicate with family and friends and sign up for fanfic writing stuff cause this is so insane. I shouldn't be getting death threats and/or said that I should've been bullied more or in the first place because I'm weird and sometimes controversy things pop up in the fandoms I like.

[princescribbler]

Some USEFUL REMINDERS for CG/L Dynamics (Especially Online or LD)

Presented in no particular order or significance, a few useful reminders!

Your Caregiver is more than just that... they're a complicated, whole person with interests outside of CG/L, ABDL, and kink.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, likes to be introduced or harassed online with "Hi wanna be my mommy/ daddy/ little" as an opening line. Like... that's a huge amount of effort, time, and responsibility to take on just cuz somebody you don't know asks... it isn't gonna happen.. if you want that, work for it and build a relationship!

Reminders are great! Send them to your partner, yourself, your friends, whether it's for daily tasks like checking in with a CG or boring work stuff... be the person people appreciate because you check in, give reminders, and generally enable everyone to succeed easier.

There will be extremely tough days where you'll feel bad and want to give up your kinks, your fetishes, etc... and that won't fix a single thing. See, whether you're kinky or not; Jobs suck, renting sucks, everything sucks sometimes! Stop blaming your kink for your problems and accept that you might need to find more complicated answers than just hating or blaming kink.

You and only you are responsible for your fetish activities... you choose how you engage in them, even if it's at someone else's supposed "orders." Don't see yourself as somehow not an active participant!

Consent is key, and informed, enthusiastic consent is key. Whether it's hand holding, keyholding, sex, cuddles, or just sexy messages and texts, consent is key. If you don't get it, don't get kinky with them. And major important note: coerced or manipulated consent is NOT consent.

Pixar and Disney remain excellent at any age, and you don't need to be a little to enjoy! Seriously.

Littles can be toxic! Yes, there's tons of fake caregivers, fake switches, fake and manipulative buttfaces out there, absolutely. But littles can be toxic, too, and if you're seeing those toxic behaviors within yourself, you need to change. Now... it isn't acceptable or fair to damage others with your toxicity just because you're afraid to change and grow!

Consent is needed from all involved, including spectators. Don't bring your kinky stuff in public without the consent of ALL impacted parties. Don't make the whole community look bad, either!

Depression, anxiety, and mental health in general can be a risk when adopting a kinky lifestyle. Don't ignore them or just try to work around them... it won't work. You need to deal with them, and social relationships can help but sometimes you need professionals, not just friends.

When in doubt, assume you should be doing the responsible thing..I know, especially for bratty subs, that it is hard to choose to do the responsible thing... but seriously, being a little isn't an excuse to EXCLUSIVELY do irresponsible or naughty things!

Things like diapees, pacifiers, bottles, most little or ABDL or CG/L gear can be passed off by just saying "Oh, it's for a friend" because everyone assumes there's a friend with a kid. When you accidentally feel exposed... just try to remember most people don't care, or notice, and if they do they probably assume it's a misunderstanding. Stop freaking out!

Your caregiver isn't your therapist. They're not here to fix your emotional trauma from childhood.. they might help you, but they're not meant to fix your whole life just because you let someone be in charge of you.

You are still an adult, even in littlespace... so you need to act like it when it comes to serious stuff. Money, sex, responsibilities, these deserve an ADULT view and should involve your ADULT mindset in participating, unless you and your caregiver have a very specific and well negotiated/ understood agreement about power exchange and decision making... and even then, you should still be an active part of the planning.

Everybody fucks up, and it's USUALLY stupid to hold a mistake against someone who means you well. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt, by default... it can be either you alone against your problems, or you WITH a partner...idk, seems like being on a team is just easier and a better way!

Communication isn't everyone's thing. If you're with someone who never learned healthy methods, you can teach and help. You aren't obligated to, I'm not saying you're responsible if your Partner isn't knowledgeable about this stuff... I'm just saying, if you know a healthier and better way, show your partner, don't expect them to just improve because you think you model good behavior.

Diaper and ABDL play isn't ubiquitous... in this community, some people love it (myself included) and others hate it, and that's fine. As long as nobody is shaming or hurting anybody, let them be, whether your kinks match or not.

Very, very few people want unsolicited pics, whether of penises, breasts, butts, chastity, diapers, etc. If you want to send a pic, check that the pic is welcomed.

Just a short, hopefully informative list than jumped into my head today and I figured I'd share!

Sending you all lots of good vibes, good times, and good luck!

As always, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay kinky!

-Scribbler

[celestialastronmy]

The Portrayal of Religious Trauma and Spiritual Abuse: Kate Marsh's Story

Let's dive into the heavy topic of religious trauma and spiritual abuse through the lens of Kate Marsh's disturbing experiences in Life is Strange. Fair warning - this gets pretty dark and covers sensitive subject matter around mental health, abuse, and religion. But it's an important conversation to have.

I'll try to break it down in sections, Kate was a kind, religious student at Blackwell Academy who was viciously bullied and slut-shamed after a video of her making out with several guys at a party surfaced online. The emotional fallout was devastating for the vulnerable, sheltered Kate who turned to her faith for refuge.

But the devout church group she was a part of largely turned their backs on her at her most desperate time of need. Rather than supporting and protecting one of their own who was victimized, many in the community embraced a cruel "she had it coming" mentality filled with harsh judgments and rejection.(Mainly her mother and Aunt) It's a sickening injustice that sadly rings true to the experiences of religious trauma survivors.

Religious trauma is the psychological damage caused by severely negative religious experiences, often involving emotional manipulation, toxic teachings, and authoritarian abuse from a faith community. Spiritual abuse takes it a step further by leveraging the faith beliefs against the person through tactics like shunning, shaming, blaming, and enforced deprivation.

And that's exactly what seemed to happen to Kate. When she needed her church the most, they failed her miserably. She was essentially spiritually abandoned and abused at her most vulnerable point by the one place that should have been her ultimate safe haven. No wonder she became depressed and suicidal.

Toxic Purity Culture Playing a Role

A major factor that enabled Kate's spiritual abuse was the deeply engrained "purity culture" mentality that sadly permeates many conservative religious circles. Placing extreme, repressive emphasis on sexual purity before marriage for women while glorifying female submissiveness, modesty, and chastity as moral virtues.

The blaming and shaming of Kate seemed directly tied to this subculture that essentially slut-shames any woman who doesn't rigidly conform to those outdated, sexist standards of feminine purity. Rather than showing compassion to a young victim of exploitation, they turned on her with unbridled judgment and alienation for the perceived sexual "sin." It's dehumanizing victim-blaming crap that can utterly demolish someone's mental health and self-worth.

Frankly, the community's reaction reeked of misogyny masked by feigning moral superiority over Kate's sexuality. An undercurrent of the age-old condemning "she was asking for it" dismissal of sexual assault that has enabled abuse against women for centuries.

Lack of Support Exacerbating Mental Health Struggles

With her church circle reinforcing the vicious bullying through their ostracization and shaming, it robbed Kate of what could have been a core support system to help her through the trauma. Having that foundation ripped out from under her only exacerbated her deteriorating mental health and feelings of existential despair.

In healthy faith communities, spiritual support is meant to be a therapeutic anchor helping guide people through severe crises with acceptance, compassion, and affirmation of self-worth. When that lifeline is cruelly replaced with damnation, dejection, and reinforced self-loathing, it can trigger or worsen clinical depression, PTSD, anxiety, and suicidal ideation.

The spiritual abuse Kate endured represented a profound emotional betrayal compounding her already staggering psychological distress. With the roots of her identity and personal value system embedded in those religious bonds, having that ripped away left her feeling profoundly insignificant, unworthy, and alone.

Clearly, her community failed her abysmally in her hour of greatest need. The very sanctuary meant to provide unconditional acceptance, safe harbor, and trauma-informed care through a spiritual framework kicked her to the curb instead based on a deeply flawed fundamentalist sexual ethos.

Unhealed Trauma Perpetuating a Vicious Cycle

The heavy implication seemed to be that Kate's virgin/whore complex wasn't properly processed or healed from her traumatic experiences. Which is understandable given how spiritually adrift she was abandoned by the one faith support system she invested everything in.

Without a safe outlet to properly unpack the acute shame, rejection-sensitivity, objectification, existential brokenness and myriad other complex emotions involved in her ordeal, it's no surprise she sank deeper into despondency and self-harm reinforcing patterns.

With virtually no healthy framework to recontextualize what happened and rebuild her self-worth, she remained stuck in a purgatory of unhealed trauma and spiritual abuse aftershocks slowly tearing her apart.

That's what makes the cycle of religious trauma so insidious and damaging. The very sociological underpinnings that are meant to affirm someone's humanity within a belief system get hijacked as weapons to degrade and dehumanize them. It fundamentally distorts their entire sense of identity, purpose, and cosmic belonging.

Breaking the Cycle through Awareness and Support

Which is why greater mainstream awareness around religious trauma and its mental health impacts is so crucial, especially for practices that enable spiritual abuse and toxic fundamentalism. The more we can shine a light on these cycles, the easier it becomes to recognize the warning signs and intervene before vulnerable people get systematically stripped of their dignity.

Ultimately, it's about providing a compassionate environment that deconstructs shame, learns from past mistakes, and rebuilds supportive networks for those in crisis based on healthy spirituality and belonging.

Kate's isolation was one of the most heartbreaking parts of her story. If she'd had access to affirming support systems equipped to empathize with her pain and guide her through it based on universally human values like grace, acceptance and resilience, perhaps the outcome could have been different.

Because at the end of the day, faith is meant to provide sanctuary and healing from suffering - not be another source of torment. Kate deserved so much better than to be discarded and shamed by the very community that should have fiercely protected her.

Hopefully through greater empathy and open discussions on religious trauma, spiritual abuse and their horrific toll, we can learn how to cultivate spiritual environments that truly embody the unconditional love they preach - especially for those who need it most.