#cult recovery

[cultsurvivorsafe]

Cult survivors, you don't lack intelligence. You don't lack morality. Your abuse was and never will be your fault.

[creature-wizard]

PSA: If you're searching out resources to help cult survivors, check their citations and look out for these names - and if you see them, leave immediately - because these people are all far right conspiracy theorists:

Svali

Cisco Wheeler

Fritz Springmeier

Cathy O'Brien

Mark Philips

Lawrence Pazder

Michelle Smith/Pazder

Lauren Stratford

Texe Marrs

Bill Schnoebelen

Rebecca Brown

Mike Warnke

Literally all of these people were (or in some cases, still are) pushing far right conspiracy theories derived from early modern witch panic, blood libel, and The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion. Literally do not trust anyone or anything that cites them.

[unwelcome-ozian]

It is not uncommon for former cult members to feel shame, embarrassment, and even self-esteem damage as a result of having been persuaded to join and to devote years of their lives to a cultic group. Looking back, they think that they were too easily fooled and should have recognized the deceptive and unhealthy nature of the group much earlier than they did. However, an analysis of the persuasion and influence techniques of cultic organizations reveals that they are the same techniques that persuade and influence people to make personal choices in all aspects of their lives.

[fyodere]

another life update lmao (sorry for the lack of smut content)

content warning for disturbing topics, especially religious cult ones

here i go

my family had been part of a japanese cult for several years and i was basically raised there. thanks to some blessing my mom and my grandpa woke up and stopped the madness

i had so many traumatic experiences there (as i said before, i was raised in that place) i can make a whole post telling my story if you guys want lol i don’t mind sharing my experience

but that’s not the point… i decided to check some stuff about this cult on internet to see if other people had a experience similar to mine, and oh… oh. there’s so many. like, so, so many. the amount of bad experiences is insane.

but that’s not even the worse part… 💀 i just found out (with proof and everything) that this cult is related to war crimes (specifically the nazis)

im severely disturbed. remembering all the stuff i went through all those years is wild. happily, i can say that im free now

[drafthorsemath]

.

Things were going so well and then my dad related the evangelical support of Isreal to end time prophecy from my former cult. He went on about how this is showing the world God has abandoned the church. Without going into more detail, he's so arrogant and he's so blind to it. Thankfully the discourse passed, we're more focused on cooking and eating now, and we're watching A Muppet Christmas Carol this afternoon.

[aprilssparelife]

Lost in time

floating

what did you say?

sorry I wasn’t here

there

got me again

remembering the feeling

of being told what to feel

how to think

what to do

submitting

to authority

remitting

my own story

denying

all reality

to stay put

to stay good

to be saved

to stay

alive

[ghostjelliess]

Anyone else grow up in a culty denomination and get very specific songs stuck in you head? The kind that aren't hymns cus not enough people know them? You think people will know, so you ask, but then are reminded that your off brand Christianity was the second-star-to-the-right kinda special.

We're adults now, we can do what we want.

[leeholtwrites]

Baldurs Gate 3 has led me to starting my high-control group (cult) recovery, and that is so strange to me.

Whatever works, I guess.

[creature-wizard]

"I'm in a bad place and need to get out, what can I do?"

I figured I'd make a post with all the resources/tips I've collected to help people get out of shitty situations so far, since it's easier than linking to a bunch of posts each time.

Seek out appropriate resources. This can include support groups (online or offline), helplines, and the like.

If you're in the US, you can call 211 to help you find resources.

Crisis Text Line offers services to the US, Ireland, Canada, and the UK.

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is a US service offers a lot of information for sexual abuse survivors.

The Trevor Lifeline is a service for queer youth in the US.

If you're a minor, you may wish to read How To Escape Abusive Parents: A Guide For Minors.

If you're an adult, you may wish to read How To Escape Abusive Parents: A Guide For Adults.

You might search on Qwant for like something like "resources for people in abuse" or "abuse resources help" or "domestic violence survivors resources".

Ask people for help in finding resources. If you can't find anything on your own, there are other people who know where to direct you. It might take awhile to find what you're looking for, but keep asking.

A WORD OF CAUTION: there are many predatory spiritual groups and conspiracy theorists out there who prey on abuse survivors and mentally ill people. You will often see these people claiming that channeling or hypnosis can help you remember past life memories or repressed traumatic memories. This is nonsense and quackery.

Relevant posts of mine:

Hypnosis is unreliable for memory recovery, and this is one way we know.

False past life memories among the starseed movement

Here’s the trouble with hypnotic regression…

If you're on a website that claims to support cult survivors and you see any of these names in the citations (and make sure you check the citations!), leave immediately - all of these people are far right conspiracy theorists. (Unfortunately, many people today are unwittingly perpetuating the BS of Fritz Springmeier in particular. See this and this for more info on that.)

Change who and what you surround yourself with. Start associating with different people/groups as much as you can. Get hobbies to fill your time. Unfollow blogs that reinforce the beliefs you're trying to get away from, and follow blogs that provide a healthier alternative.

You might follow blogs like:

A Kind Place

Trauma Survivors Helping Trauma Survivors

Compassionate Reminders

Trauma Survivors Activities

Reasons For Hope

Bluest Fluff

If you're trying to rebuild your worldview without conspiratorial/culty elements, go take a look at my Resources page.

Remember that your first job is looking after yourself. You don't owe the group. You aren't responsible for the group, or for anyone in it. It might feel that way, but it's vitally important to acknowledge when you're unqualified or suffering burnout. You might feel like bad things will happen if you leave, but that's a fear, not a fact.

You also don't have to justify your departure to the group. You can just leave. If you feel that you must give a reason, you can offer something as simple as "I need to take some time to focus on my mental health" or "I'm really busy lately and don't have time to spend here." If they throw a fit over this, that's honestly just more proof that you need to get out.

If any practices the group taught you actually helped, you can keep doing them. If doing affirmations helped you, keep doing affirmations. If listening to so-called healing frequencies actually made you feel better, you don't have to stop listening to them. If you were practicing something like the Law of Assumption, you can carry on with a lot of that under a psychological model rather than Neville Goddard's wacky metaphysical model. (See this video for an example.) If it genuinely helps you and doesn't hurt anyone else, by all means, keep doing it.

You might look at my Manifestation Without Woo posts:

Manifestation Without Woo: Changing Your Brain

Manifestation Without Woo: People React To Your Projections, & Your Projections Affect Your Perceptions

Manifestation Without Woo: Setting Reasonable Goals

Manifestation Without Woo: Make It Fun!

Manifestation Without Woo: What If It's Not Working?

Get some critical thinking skills. In order to keep yourself from falling into another bad group, it's important to develop your critical thinking skills.

Learn to apply the Five W's (who, what, when, where, and why) when encountering any information.

Learn common logical fallacies.

Learn the difference between fact, opinion, belief, and prejudice.

Don't equate emotional reactions with some kind of innate or higher moral guidance.

Ask yourself if you're "thinking for yourself" or being led to believe you're thinking for yourself.

Know what emotional manipulation tactics look like.

Watch out for these behaviors in any new group you join.

Yes, there are ways to confirm the age of an old text without having the original text itself.

Learn how propaganda works.

Watch out for these red flags in spiritual groups.

And watch out for this red flag.

Understand that belief doesn't have to be binary.

So yeah, hopefully this'll give folks some actionable advice. I can't promise it's going to help each and every person out there, but hopefully it'll give a lot of you something that will help.

[unwelcome-ozian]

Hello everyone,

I've added these to the website:

Spiritual Harm and Abuse Scale Spiritual Abuse Questionnaire Emotional Abuse Questionnaire

They can be found here.

Take care,

Oz

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Still Learning with India Oxenberg

18 August 2023 • EPISODE 1

Diane Benscoter: Cult Survivor [ex-Moonie] Turned Deprogrammer

In this episode, India is speaking with Diane Benscoter on how to identify psychological manipulation and emotional vulnerabilities in ourselves and others, using their own stories.

India Oxenberg:

“You just don't know enough about the horrible people who are out there...

I was so naive to the fact that there were people out there who would want to hurt me and not care.”

________________________________

Resources for Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships

[nightmare-from-heaven]

Vertebrate training 101:

Make the thing you want, be easier and feel better, than the thing you don't want.

Yes. Give them a goddamned pony. You will probably never understand how hard it is to leave a cult and be shunned by all the people you belonged with. They are very very very VERY frustrating badasses rn. Be mad. Have your Very Justified tantrum. Then ffs turn around and give them a sincere hand up into the movement. If you wouldn't turn them away from helping you put out your house fire, don't turn them away from this movement.

This is an interesting thing. Looks like testimonies of people who left the MAGA movement- how they got into it and why.

Leaving a cult is really hard, so I really respect the people who are speaking from this place.

[cultsurvivorsafe]

The lack of empathy afforded to cult victims is exhausting. This post brings awareness to child abuse in COS—which is great!—but still wishes harm on all those who suffered it. I would never defend Neil Gaiman or any cult-connected abuser (whether ex member or current), but the average Scientologist deserves safety, freedom, and happiness! Blame abusers, not victims.

[creature-wizard]

A few tips for getting out of a toxic online group

Unlike a physical cult or something, an online group generally can't physically keep you from leaving - but that doesn't mean they can't have a powerful emotional hold on you. You mind think to yourself, "I'd really like to get out of this situation," but find yourself going back because you don't really have anything else to do, and all your friends are there.

So here's some things that might help. I'm not saying that this is going to be 100% applicable for every situation, but hopefully for some of you, they can help.

1: Get some hobbies unrelated to what the group's doing. It doesn't have to be anything huge or complicated; it just needs to be something to do apart from them. Basically, this will give you something new to fill some of your time with.

2: Get into different groups and make different friends. Join unrelated communities and hang out with people there. Again, it fills some of your time, and also scratches the social itch.

3: You can give a short, simple reason why you're leaving or spending less time with your current group. If you feel like you should or need to explain yourself, you can say something like "I need to take some time to focus on my mental health" or "I'm busy with things these days and don't have as much time to spend here."

4: Remember that your first obligation is to yourself. It can be easy to end up feeling responsible for somebody in the group; if not the whole group. That said, it's important to acknowledge when you're simply not qualified or experiencing burnout. If you or somebody else feels like things will just fall apart without you, remember that this is a fear, not a fact. You can also encourage people to seek help from somebody more qualified. If they won't do it, it's on them, not you.

5: If you're in actual danger, reach out for help. Now, I'm personally not the person who can tell you exactly what you need to do if you're in danger - but with that said, other people do. If you're not sure what to do or where to look, ask people for help. Ask friends, ask through anon messages through abuse support blogs, whatever. You can also search the Internet for resources and help.

Again, this won't cover everyone's cases, but hopefully it'll help some of you out there.