#online abuse is not normal

[oldguardleatherdog]

The Comment That Will Live In Infamy

A reminder that we don't have to tolerate being abused on this site.

As a general rule, I don't indulge in callouts of individuals who aren't public figures, but since this is the September 11th Anniversary I'm making an exception today.

Friend to all humanity @thenightmancometh expressed this wish for me in a comment on an absolutely balls-out batshit insane brigading of me on this site in 2022, started by a very strange and misguided 20-year-old girl in Scotland (of all places!) named @commonpigeon who thought it sport to take a stoned 3 AM comment I made on a post by @ding-dong-you-are-wrong and hold it, and me, out for ridicule to thousands of people, picked up and amplified by @baradragon and boosted by none other than the legendary multiply-terminated @were--ralph, who I imagine is happily reaming a pineapple somewhere (iykyk I guess).

As a result of fighting back against this ageist, AIDSphobic, kink-shaming, utterly inexplicable mob attack of vicious harassment and death wishes such as this, my first blog here got mass-reported and terminated, taking with it a library's worth of queer history links and harm reduction resources. I'm still fighting to get it restored.

I live in San Francisco where Tumblr and its parent company are headquartered; they are required by law to conduct themselves in accordance with City regulations regarding human rights, and although two years have passed, I'm still inclined to press my case.

My status as a "Certified Eligible Survivor" of the events of September 11, 2001 under the Zadroga Act of 2010 means more to me than being eligible for benefits and treatment of the PTSD diagnosis I carry. It means that I have standing to fight back against insults like the one depicted in the image here. It means that people who are capable of saying this to a person who was injured in that most heinous terrorist attack ever on US soil should be held to account for their actions, that their lack of basic human decency is not acceptable, that this is not normal online or offline behavior, that abusing injured victims of an act of war (or any other disaster, natural or manmade) will never be tolerated or accepted by the rest of humanity.

I'm not the only survivor of 9/11. I'm certainly not at or anywhere near the top of the hierarchy of victims of the events of that day. I know my place, and I behave accordingly, but that doesn't mean that I get to exist in a vacuum.

As a lifelong activist, I know how to fight for what's right, for myself and for others. Although I get accused of gatekeeping a tragedy, I'm goddamn Cerberus when it comes to guarding September 11th, protecting my fellow survivors from trolls and haters, and doing everything I can to make sure the memory of that day and those we lost will never be vandalized by 20-year-olds from Scotland or anyone else.

[squidcourse]

small note that anti-endo-pillow-fort supports another user (kingofantiendos / astro) sexually harassing others as a "joke", maybe delete your reblog of their post

I don't really care.

I reblogged a random individual post by a person several days ago. I did not go hunting through that person's post to find out and see who they did or did not support.

Obviously, I think sexual harassment is bad, but like, come on? You went through my posts, happened to find a random reblog from a person who supports another person who did something bad? In what is probably some kind of online drama? I'm supposed to just take your word for it?

What? Do you want me to go hunting for whatever post I happened to reblog, go through that person's account, go through another person's account, and try to verify this random claim you've made in my inbox?

No.

[quoth-the-raven-wtf]

Someone go back in time and make me forget about the radqueer community bruv because I really don't know how much glorification of things that should not be glorified I can take.

[Live narration of me scrolling through the rq tag]

Hey

Hey why are there pride flags for these things. Why are you making pride flags. Do you understand that you shouldn't be taking pride in paraphilias? Hey. Guys hey. Guys. No. Hey. No, you can't be transrace. No that is not morally justifiable because that brings up severe cultural issues. Hey. Stop. Put that down. Put down the "children and animals can consent," pls, what are you doing with that.

Transharmed? Hey.

Look guys I understand not having access to mental health support and all but this is not an excusable replacement—

.......

No, I'm sorry. Did I just see "transabled?"

There's no way people are actually being serious about this.

...

......

Oh they're actually being serious about this.

Like this isn't a joke?

OH. HEY. NO, WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS IN FACT NOT AT ALL THE SAME AS BEING TRANSGENDER. THAT IS NOT A GOOD ARGUMENT TO JUSTIFY WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

[gokupowers]

feel like modern Dave writers/kins forget he's hussies self insert and written to be totally fucking lame in canon bc hussie was a 25 year old loser living in his parents basement making anti SJW rage comics at the time . dave strider is an awesome character but he is genuinely so fucking embarrassingly lame and a loser and it's a beautiful thing & we need to remember our roots #makedavelameagain

[witchcraftingboop]

Yknow actually I would like to talk about my childhood. In the same way I talk about the weather or my dinner the other night, I'd like to be able to talk about things that no longer have a solid hold on me without someone turning all misty eyed or angry or telling me how "strong" I am. It'd be nice to give a voice to memories I have without being met with the overwhelming feelings of someone new hearing about them, without it being amplified in their eyes into some great and imposing beast that I'm supposed to have beat back every moment of every day. Sometimes it's just not that deep, and a person can just want to put into words things that they haven't been allowed to say before. I haven't really been able to talk in the real world about my life without someone making me feel like I've lived in some dark 1800s horror novel and appeared before their eyes like some patron saint of endurance given flesh. Which is dramatic, both to witness and experience, and it's created this unwilling, stubborn block inside me that demands I keep my thoughts to myself and side-step people's questions, no matter how intimately I know them, because I just don't want to stomach their reaction and my reaction to theirs. But, in reality, I'd like to talk about my parents' abuse and neglect with the same levity as discussing a passing storm or my cats' latest antics. It's not possible, and I get that, but that doesn't mean I can't want it.

[area51-escapee]

It’s all “kill your abuser!” until somebody actually. Kills their abuser in order to escape them and then suddenly it’s “oh my god how could they do that they’re so evil and manipulative”

[terrminallycapricious]

((i just want my ear stuff to go away and my sleep to be Normal :'S

im missing out on some things blah))

[nururu]

just fyi I turned off my discord notifications bc it's just..... overwhelming. and then I forget to check it... so like..... idk... message me on here if u need me to see a message.. still might not check it or respond tho... it's just so overwhelming for me idk how to manage all that. I have like 3 ppl on Tumblr I just haven't responded, like 5 on insta, and 3 ppl in texts, and then I just haven't checked my discord in like 4 days bc that's another can of worms. idk how ppl have the focus or time in the day to handle messaging ppl back so much... bc I know when I do then that person's gonna then respond to me again and I'll be busy at that point and then ignore them again for the next 3 days until I remember and then I feel like shit.... idk man I think we should just destroy the internet and write each other letters again.... it's all seriously way too much for me.

[bubtans]

i literally feel so much more at peace here holy shit twitter is awful

[katyspersonal]

(vent) Again I am not touching my other interests here often, but I think Thomas Astruc (Mir4culous L4dybug) is one of the WORST examples of this meme amongst the showmakers:

Like... imagine writing an absolute textbook example of the mary sue character who is instantly talented in everything she does, the super ultra skilled designer and artist recognised by world wide celebrities for her skill, repeatedly hired by celebrities to do commissions for them, loved by everyone, one of the best video-gamer, apparently can invent complex mechanisms, is "the best Miraculous holder and the best holder of a ladybug miraculous who ever lived" (in 5000+ years!), instantly masters every miraculous she holds the first time, while also always getting away with her awful actions (if not getting rewarded for them) and taking up so much screen time that the supposed second main character (whose whole potential was assassinated to make him goofy, annoying and useless without this woman) might as well not exist

And when you DO address that, you are claimed to be some sort of sexist who just hates to see the girlboss wi- I mean, can't handle to see female lead or whatever. Not just that, but also claiming another character who was abused and neglected by her mother to the point of living basically without her, has god awful father that absolutely fails to act like a PARENT and instead just spoils her with gifts and favours and only had two whole friends in her entire life is evil just for the sake of evil and can never change and would not WANT to change because "she would not want to give away her PWIWWILEGES UWU".

That's not feminism, that's 'how do you do fellow kids'. That's the example of a boomer learning what ideals these darn modern kids support and trying to jump on the bandwagon without actually understanding any of this... and ironically ending up hurting the exact people you try to cater to. Also all mentioned characters are 14-15 years old.

Sigh... Sometimes I just wish show makers stopped trying to jump onto ideas they clearly do not understand. This is always just so embarrassing to watch.

[maxellminidisc]

We've been saying for years that all that shameless unquestioned inclusion of abusive materials in fan/communal spaces online was only adding more fuel to the fucking csem fire that's already a massive problem. We've been saying the people who we're most adamant of abusive material in fan and other communal spaces online are just abusers who want to use the inclusivity of these spaces as a shield and smokescreen for their grooming but way too many people got caught up in the brain washing of "radical inclusion" in fan spaces to give a fuck. And its genuinely frightening watching people, especially kids, fall down these rabbit holes and get stuck in echo chambers of abuse, abusive behavior and language, and exposed to materials of abuse over and over and at alarming rates online.

But what's even scarier is like what the fuck is there to do?? It's so hard getting people out of these mind sets and communities, especially people who are victims of csa who basically are stuck having their abuse normalized to them and its only exacerbated by these online communities of abusers; not to mention the law be it domestic or international is shit, useless, and does truly next to nothing for victims of csa and grooming, let alone the minimum to shut down rings online by targeting host sites and shit. Plus theres a whole conversation to have on abolition but like again who knows the answers there?

Awareness is important and being conscious of the language, terminology, and bastardization of genuinely radical language and communities these people use is key. The bare minimum is being able to spot these people and warning others of them to get them out of spaces and keep them out of spaces, especially ones with kids in them. It's a lot and it's very mentally taxing thing to be conscious of but again, its important and necessary to keep others safe, especially children online. If anything, we need to take the burden of creating safe spaces off the backs of countless children online who I see trying to fight tooth and nail to keep abusers away from them and who are mocked and ridiculed by grown fucking perverts for it.

[floralovebot]

I talk a lot about how different fanon!Helia is from canon!Helia but not enough but how bad it is for all the characters.

Like you have Riven going from this insecure teenage boy who lashes out at anyone who challenges him to this suave bad boy who could kill the winx. People seeing Stella as a stuck up brat, thinking that she loves Bloom more than the other winx, or that she would ever choose to be selfish in ways that hurt the other characters. Or Flora going from this fairly confident young girl who loves to meet new people and hangout with others to an introverted shy mess who never speaks up and would never say something sarcastic. Not to sound like a bitch but I really do think it's time the fandom stops pretending we're better than other fandoms and don't have Fanon Versions because we do and it's messing with y'alls perception of canon so fucking bad

[viscer-aa]

I really fucking hate that my personal experience being polyam is that my internalized hatred of it came primarily from other polyam people giving me irreparable trauma. I have so much shit going on I’m honestly too worn down to unpack this bullshit. Cat lady time.

[lesbianamalvada]

I think we need more stories like Wizard of Oz where a young person wants to run away and gets transported to a magical place but then realizes how great home actually was. A lot of young people more than ever are calling their families abusive and toxic for minor disagreements, and really ageism is one of the deadliest bigotries. It stops you from learning from and appreciating your elders and I think a lot of gen Z will regret this when they're older.

[moldybits]

um i. need to talk to my therapist about like. online nccsa. but i don’t even know where to begin

[tittytania]

I could just as easily make shit up in the other direction. If you had a happy childhood you like Halloween because you feel safe enough to explore spooky things, and if you had a bad childhood you like Christmas because you liked to pretend that everything was happy and shiny and beautiful.

I am calling for a total and complete ban on tiktok pop psychology until we can figure out what the hell is going on