#i know i make a lot of negative posts but i really needed to address this

[petersasteria]

yes, and? - G Dragon/Kwon Jiyong

Pairing: sibling!jiyong x sibling!reader (both idols) Summary: your older brother is your hero

☆*: .｡. eternal sunshine masterlist .｡.:*☆

"My face is sitting, I don't need no disguise (I don't need no disguise). Don't comment on my body, do not reply. Your business is yours, and mine is mine. Why do you care so much whose dick I ride? Why?"

Ever since you debuted with your group, DAWN, Jiyong made sure everyone knew how proud he was of you. He'd actively post stories using your songs to get the hype it deserves, he'd post pictures of you on his Instagram, and he'd even mention you a lot in interviews.

But of course, being THE G-Dragon's little sister isn't all sunshine and rainbows. There was a lot of scrutiny when you debuted, and you mostly blamed yourself for all the negative attention DAWN received. No one blamed you, but you felt responsible for it. You never told Jiyong, but he knew what was happening. He was your brother, after all.

He made a secret account that no one knew about and joined a Discord server, a DAWN subreddit, DAWN Tumblr communities, Facebook groups, Twitter group chats, etc. Everyone seemed to hate you all because everyone thought your talents weren't up to par with Jiyong.

Jiyong watched you grow into a woman you weren't meant to be. He always saw you as outgoing and growing into your features and talent. But because of the hate, you just became... hollow. It saddened him deeply. He saw the spark in your eyes vanish as years pass and he noticed how you're more quiet compared to when you debuted.

It wasn't until he read the comments on your Instagram pictures that he finally threw a fit in front of his best friends.

"Get a load of this bullshit: y/n pls get plastic surgery bc there's something wrong with your face. How could someone say that?!" Jiyong exclaimed angrily, continuing to scroll down.

"Jiyong, don't make yourself angry by reading those." Seunghyun warns him. "You're not getting any younger; you might get high blood pressure. Calm down."

"I don't care! They shouldn't talk about my sister that way." Jiyong sighed angrily.

"Well, you can address it in your interview. It's tomorrow, right? Just address it there." Youngbae suggested.

So, that's what he did. He just had to wait for the right time to say it. The right time came when the interviewer asked about you. It was then that he unleashed his anger and annoyance towards all of it.

"What's it like seeing your sister being an idol like you?"

"It's great! I just don't like seeing the hate she gets. It's so unnecessary! I read all of it. She's just nice enough to not tell me anything. Everything people say about her are so hurtful. They don't know that it hurts me too because I'm her brother." Jiyong said.

"I'm sure it does." The interviewer nodded. "But how do you feel about Y/N dating a BTS member when she was just dating Park Bo-gum not too long ago?"

Jiyong rolled his eyes, "That's her business, neither mine nor everyone else's. She can date whoever she wants to date. My only concern is if they treat her right. She's young, but she's also an adult. She can handle herself. I'll only interfere if she asks me for help."

"Is it true that Y/N got a nose job?"

"Alright, let me make this clear: she never got anything done. It also hurts mine and my family's feelings that people are actively telling her to fix her face. Why would she do that? If any of you really look at her, we look alike. Telling her to get her face done is like telling me to get my face done. And why would we do that, when we look like a mix of our parents? That's like telling us our parents are ugly." Jiyong explained.

"If she gets plastic surgery, what happens then? Will everyone be happy? Of course not. They'll find a new thing to hate on her. The other day pictures of her sitting down at a cafe while eating with her date went viral. I thought it was because she was on a date, which is ridiculous to be viral for in the first place, but turns out, she went viral because of her body roll. That's insane! Everyone has that. It's normal! When are we all going to stop policing people for having a normal body? She also got viral for having cellulite. I mean, come on! It's insane to hate a little girl so much."

"Little girl?"

Jiyong closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Sorry. Sometimes, I still see her as my 5-year-old sister who did nothing but dance. She's very sweet and she doesn't deserve all of those things."

Jiyong got a lot of pats on the back and he got praised for being a good brother, but the only person he wanted to hear from was you. When you called him in the middle of the night, he immediately answered.

"Y/N?" His voice a bit hoarse from being tired all day.

"Thank you." You said after a moment of silence. Jiyong smiled to himself and said, "You're my sister, Y/N. I have to set an example for you. I will defend you until my last breath, okay? I have your back."

"And I have yours." You said softly. Jiyong grinned, "Just know that everyday, I'm so grateful to be your older brother."

"I don't know how to cope with all of it." You cried.

His heart broke. "Y/N, don't listen to anything you hear and don't absorb anything you read. Their opinions don't matter because what matters is what you think. But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to nag you about a few things. Like, don't get plastic surgery and don't reply to whatever comment people have about your body. I'm going to be strict with those. It's your business, anyway."

"That's true. I mean, why do they care about who I ride, anyway?"

"Okay, that's-" Jiyong coughed. "I did NOT need to know that, but that's, uh, that's true. Why do they care, anyway? They're just jealous it's you and not them."

You chuckled, wiping your tears. "Love you, Jiyong."

"I love you too." He smiled. "Now, it's time for you to come clean. I just want to know- who are you really dating?"

"JIYONG!!!"

"I mean, I just want to know if I have a new brother-in-law!"

-

a/n: whoever reads this, i love you. pls be kind to yourself. pls allow yourself to grow into your features before getting poked and prodded by needles and all <3

permanent taglist: @redhoodedtoad @billiesiousji @hayd3n8 @sherrayyyyy @ldydeath @wcnderlnds @infinetlyforgotten @emmiesoverthemoon @breakmeoff @sayugarper @gdinthehouseee

jiyong taglist: @loveesiren @aizshallnotbefound

eternal sunshine taglist: @sevendaysummer @sherxoo @whotfiscamellia @multifanxtvshows @patheticgirl127 @amyyforshort @sylviavf @steponupbabe @galgal-egg

[hideawaysis]

hello. absolutely hate involving myself in fandom drama, but ifeel this is an important post to make as i have seen a lot of people taking a certain post at face value and believing it.

im referring to this one, made by @/realultimatehater

now, before i say these things, i feel the need to preface this by saying that i do not personally wish to align myself in this fandom debate. i am a tax-paying adult and do not have any energy or time to put into arguing about a tv show on the internet. nonetheless, i have seen people blindly spreading this post around and i feel this needs to be addressed.

this person is lying.

it feels like it should be obvious with the levels of "down with cis bus" energy pulsating off of this, but it's a huge fucking lie.

this person is a known harasser and has targeted children in the past. they will do anything, and i mean ANYTHING to rack up attention and internet points. they have made bold claims like this with little to no evidence in the past all so they can garner more hatred for certain fandoms on the internet. testimonies here and here, and some pretty damning screenshots here.

i advise you all to stop reblogging the post ive shown. it's disinformation, a story fabricated to direct more vitriol towards a fandom with little to no proof that it can somehow make people like this or attract people like this. this person is either a troll or just plain deranged. please stop believing what they say.

tags added for reach.

edit: i received an anonymous ask giving me extra information on this topic, apparently this person is in fact an internet troll who has gone under countless aliases and will often fake identities in order to ruin the reputations of others. more information here and here.

edit 2: another anon ask gave me a preserved version of a post from realultimatehater's first account, showing how they'd crop screenshots of dms in order to make it look like they were being harassed for simply having a negative opinion on hazbin hotel. here's the post, though do know the reblog is from a supporter of them, make of that what you will. here's another version of the post ifound showing how they'd bait people into saying these kinds of things in order to make them look bad. and here's another one! wow!

i also found a few asks showing how this person would literally approach hazbin fans and just blatantly insult them, rather than blocking them. because yeah, when you detest a fandom, you clearly must stir up conflict! that'll keep them away from you! said asks can be viewed here and here

edit 3: the anon i received telling me realultimatehater was an internet troll who'd been trolling people for years apparently was not being truthful, this does not discredit the other evidence ive listed but id really appreciate if people would stop spreading that ask around. ive removed the link to the ask, sincere apologies to anyone affected by that

[ritzcuit]

ppl who follow me are tired of me saying this, but if i could address the aa fandom directly... i rly would just ask that people like, stop being mean about dd and soj. like thats all i want.

im not even IN the fandom anymore, so i have no reach. i draw fanart and make my little ship posts but thats all. and thats bc the wider fandom ... is so fucking mean sometimes. omg. like its just not fun!!

but really, specifically, its about the dd and soj thing. the "play ace attorney we have so many games and [MOST OF THEM] are good!" thing. like, its fine if you dont LIKE dd and soj, obviously!! im not saying you HAVE to!

but "i dont like these games" and "these games are objectively bad and no one likes them" are entirely different statements.

plenty of people like dd and soj, even have them as their favorite games. i know this bc my soj fanart gets notes 😭 i have ppl in my tags excited and happy when i draw dhurke and datz. bc we like these characters!! and like to think about them and the story they come from!

...just bc YOU dont like soj, doesnt mean a lot of ppl dont like soj! so i really dont understand the drive to constantly talk down and insult these games?! like ... why be negative. u could be nicer. its possible and easy and then doesnt drive ppl away from the fandom bc their favorite games are being trashtalked all the time.

a lot of ppl find the space family dd interesting! they LIKE the phantom and his concept as a character! they LIKE soj and all of the political settings! it doesnt rly matter that they are, by and large, A Little Flop, bc people still LIKE them and like making content for them and thinking abt them and playing in the space and...!! like. why hate that? why constantly put us down for enjoying smth you didnt?

just dont need to constantly make slights at how "bad" and supposedly unenjoyable dd and soj are. cus not only is it mean, and makes the fandom hostile, but its literally untrue. i dont even consider myself in the fandom anymore bc all the fun is taken out of it when i have to brace myself for shitty comments like this whenever i read a post abt the series!

and i rly wish i could just Not Care what other ppl say. a lot of my friends dont care. but soj is like.....ive spent the past 5 years loving that stupid ass mediocre game. like its deeply important to me. and i just feel like a lot of ppl would have some fun with it if they werent constantly told how bad and skippable it is. im sure dd fans feel the same way.

its very cliquey. its very "the popular opinion is correct and if you dont agree, you dont get to play with us". it just sucksssss

[fandom-susceptible]

Moonshadow Culture and Values

So, I've seen a few posts going around that made me wanna do this to sort of explain my interpretation of the choices made by the Moonfam in the context of their culture. I'm just making my own post to avoid starting drama with the people who dislike or hate Ruthari as a result of their behavior, or think that they're poorly written.

Buckle up, because this is a whole essay I should probably clean up and put in a google doc.

(also, while a lot of this is pulled from canon, I've also extrapolated quite a bit. I've tried to make it clear where the line is, and my sources will be at the end to check if you're unsure. If you dislike or disagree with any of the extrapolation, that's your prerogative - it's a fictional show! Have fun with it however you have fun! But I do ask that you have the same courtesy as I've had in making this post, and either keep it to your own blog or respond constructively. Let's keep this a safe space, yeah?)

(Now with important map edit!)

First of all, the thing I see overlooked the most in every post, positive or negative, about the Moonfam is that they aren't human. They are not human and are not coming into this situation with human values or viewpoints. We as a fandom need to stop applying human standards of behavior to non human characters (this is a problem in a lot of fandoms with non humans, honestly). It's something that even comes up in the show, with Callum and Ezran (as they're the ones most often with Rayla) forgetting her cultural background is wildly different from theirs.

So to address some of those cultural values I think it's important to take a look at what we know about Moonshadow elves' history. Some of the furthest history back that we know about is from the Mage Wars, when the continent was split. Humans weren't the only ones displaced by that breach. Moonshadow elves specifically were also forced to leave their native lands, to the point of actively destroying their own settlements and holy places to keep their magic from being tapped and twisted by the humans who would take the land. We don't really talk about it in the show because it's a kids' show (or it was when they introduced this information), but realistically, a shit ton of both humans and Moonshadow elves died in these forced migrations.

Then, looking at a map of Xadia leads us to another point. See where Moonshadow Forest is?

It's right there next to the border with the human kingdoms.

They barely made it into Xadia. Plus look at the geography and ecology of the land they left compared to where they settled. This doesn't seem like an ideal location given where they lived before. Plus, Bloodmoon Huntress informs us that Moonshadow Forest is dangerous even to those who live there. It's not a safe place to live, and yet all of them live there.

There's also something to be said about how the Moonshadow elves have a whole path through lava called the Moonstone Path from their ancestral lands to the Silvergrove, when the military focus of both sides of the Mage Wars are focused further north up the Breach. My guess is that the Moonstone path isn't for assassins sneaking back over the border, especially given how the narrative talks about the violence between the human kingdoms and Xadia until recently. It's mostly been open battles. I'm guessing the Moonstone Path was for the refugees fleeing the Moon Nexus and their old home in the mountains, south of the worst of the fighting, and that's why most elves don't know about it now either.

Also, look at the sheer scale of the other elves' range in comparison to theirs.

Dark blue: Tidebound, which is every coastline in Xadia and out into the ocean

Edit: I'm slightly color blind and just looked at this map on a screen with different color settings. The "gold" I refer to in a minute is the darker of the two yellows. The other yellow appeared green to me. Sorry about that 😅 you can also just look for Lux Aurea in the north and Umber Tor/the Drakewood in the east for context of which is which.

Gold: Sunfire Empire minimum boundaries, they seem to imply its reaches are very large

Green: Earthblood elves that we know of; there's also a population of crystal-connected ones that we don't even know where they live for sure, though my guess would be the mountains beside the Uncharted Forest and the Tidebound Archipelago.

Light blue: Skywing, who have at least two distinct cultures (the Celestials in the north and the nomads who range everywhere) in Xadia

White: Moonshadow, whose society is comprised of a scattered group of villages inside the smallest forest in Xadia.

In addition, Bloodmoon Huntress tells us that those stories that humans tell about elves being blood drinking monsters that eat people are also told in Xadia about Moonshadow elves. Moonshadow elves tell them about The Bloodmoon Huntress. All of this is rooted back to Kim'dael and her Cult of the Blood Moon, a sect of Moonshadow elves from about 300 years ago who did absolutely do that.

(300 years ago is a guess because she was eventually captured by Queen Aditi, but we don't actually have a date that I know of, and Aditi reigned for over a century)

When we think about that in context, it gets a bit dark, doesn't it? To this day, other elves believe that all Moonshadow elves are like that, or at least tell stories about it. Do we really think that they were making exceptions when there actually was substance behind the stories, on a larger scale? Or do we think that when the Sunfire Empire and the dragons hunted down the Cult, they were just hunting whatever Moonshadow elves they could find, because they didn't know or didn't care that there was a difference? And that's not even touching on the decades or perhaps centuries of predation by the Cult on their own kind before they turned towards the rest of Xadia and caught Aditi and Avizandum's attention.

There was also the Shadow-Eater incident, which we only know about through Zubeia's recollection, which consisted of a creature called a Shadow-Eater hunting down the Moonshadow elves of the southern forest and their being unable to protect themselves from it. Avizandum was the one who eventually eliminated it. In the same short story where Zubeia remembers it, though, she refers to the Moonshadow elves as tribes, which is only really interesting because it's not a word we really see used elsewhere in the franchise, even for the nomadic Skywing or the similarly brutal Riders of the Drakewood.

So, the political situation on Xadia's side of the border amongst the elves seems to be as follows:

The mighty Sunfire Empire, which sprawls across much of Xadia and is widely considered to be the most powerful military force on their side of the border. They have multiple cities, though Lux Aurea was the main one and the only one we see on the map (we also only see the Silvergrove on the map because it's the only Moonshadow settlement that matters to the narrative, it's not because others don't exist). They also have outlying villages and variance within their cultures, and are known for their advanced engineering.

The Tidebound, who don't seem to have a unifying government, but do have a couple of overlying cultures. They have several coastline cities and settlements and a thriving maritime civilization, including some who live entirely underwater, and may have been the most chill with humans during the war (they are the source of humans' stories about mermaids and sirens, implying a mix of benevolent and malevolent ones). A significant portion of their population lives entirely out at sea, similarly to their Archdragon Domina Profundis.

The Earthblood elves, who have not one, not two, but at least three different populations. There are the more violently-dispositioned Riders of the Drakewood, another less-explored forest Earthblood population (Terry may be from that one, as he mentions being from the Uncharted Forest but lacks some characteristics typical of the Riders, but we don't know for sure), and the crystal-based Earthblood whose location we haven't been shown yet. They're also said to have the largest population of any type of elf, even more than Sunfire elves, and range the farthest other than the Skywing.

The Skywing nomads can be found anywhere in Xadia at different times, and they have a subculture of the Celestial elves that live in a singular place. The Skywing also are known for some of the most impressive architectural feats in all of Xadia, ranging from the stairs of the Storm Spire, to the Celestial Spire, to the floating city of Innea.

Finally, the Moonshadow tribes, which are isolated to a handful of villages in the smallest forest in Xadia, all of which share an overarching culture and are mere days apart on foot.

So let's think about this for a second.

Moonshadow elves were forced to emigrate from their homeland during the Mage Wars, and likely lost a significant percentage of their population then.

They arrive in Xadia, and they barely make it past the border and they stop. All the other land in Xadia appears to be already largely taken up by other elven civilizations or is somehow inhospitable (i.e. the Midnight Desert), but this particular forest is so afflicted with the dark side of their own arcanum that the Earthblood elves have said "fuck it" and left it alone. It's dangerous. One night every year it's so dangerous even their most skilled warriors could be lost if they make one mistake - and that's in the modern day, with well established villages and safe zones (per Runaan's warning in Bloodmoon Huntress). It was likely worse before they had those.

At some point after this, the Cult of the Blood Moon was founded and began preying on others to extend their own lives. My personal pet theory is that Kim'dael did this because she realized their people were dying out, and she turned to immortality rather than mixing with other elves or just encouraging new generations, but we don't have canon for her reasons really.

The Cult's activities eventually catch the attention of Queen Aditi's Sunfire Empire and the dragons, who turn on the Cult. Stories pin the blame on all of the Moonshadow elves, so it's likely that they were all blamed even then, and the war was launched on the entire Moonshadow Forest until Kim'dael turned herself over to Aditi in hopes of tricking her (and was herself tricked).

And in the modern day, Moonshadow elves are by far the fewest and most isolated elven society, comprised of a few tribes whose settlements are all described as villages - they don't have cities or towns or an overarching government. They're villages that operate on democracy.

After that history, it starts to make perfect sense why abandoning their duty or their companions is the gravest sin they can commit culturally, doesn't it? Especially for a people so deeply connected to the afterlife. They told us in season 1 that Moonshadow elves do not fear death; by season 7, they've elaborated on that to explain that they don't fear death because they know for a fact that death isn't an end. Spirits move on to the next phase of existence, and their magic is so connected to that afterlife that they can summon those spirits back temporarily to conclude unfinished business (such as the Ritual of the New Moon, but Lujanne mentions it used to be done far more commonly when they had access to the Moonhenge). So they'd have no reason to be afraid of dying individually.

But with their numbers so drastically decimated, sacrificing other lives in favor of yours, forcing their families to live with a loss because you were a coward about facing the death that you already know isn't an end for you -

Yeah, it makes sense that's worse in their eyes than personally dying.

It's also likely that Kim'dael surrendering to Aditi didn't fully cool tensions between other elves and the Moonshadow. Assassins came into existence at some point between the Mage Wars and the modern day, and my hunch is that they were the remaining Moonshadow's attempt at containing the Cult. So after Aditi captured Kim'dael, the rest of the Moonshadow were left in a position where everyone considers them bloodthirsty savages and the only warriors they have left are built for precision violence against much stronger enemies that they cannot fight outright. Hence, later service to the dragons and other elves' leaders as assassins. If they don't go along with the more powerful elves and dragons' instructions, if they abandon their obligations to Aditi or Avizandum or Zubeia, what happens to the rest of them? They can't afford to betray or fail their much more powerful neighbors. There's nowhere left for them to retreat to. The humans would kill them, the Earthblood could kill them, the Sunfire or dragons could burn their entire forest to the ground and kill them all too. So they commit. The rest of Xadia believes them to be killers, so they send their killers to serve the rest of Xadia - on pain of death to save the rest of them.

To be very clear, I'm not saying that Moonshadow culture is just okay and we shouldn't criticize it. Their focus on duty and family and the good of the many prioritizes those things to such a degree that suicide is culturally preferable to making mistakes sometimes. That's fucked up! It's harsh! It's flawed! However, given the history we have of them, I can follow the logic of how they got there.

Now thinking about this in the context of the show -

Tiadrin and Lain appeared to abandon their duty, sacrificing a child that isn't their own and not even coming back home to explain themselves (they never show a lotus being connected to the Dragonguard, I'm inclined to believe that's an assassin-specific tradition and they just got the news from Zubeia about what happened). They didn't get a choice about becoming Dragonguard; they were selected by the dragons. So they've left their own child in the care of someone else, only to abandon the other child they were sent to protect, and it wasn't even to come back for their own.

Now we know as viewers that's not what happened, but within the world and their cultural context, that's what their community knows. So they've committed the gravest sin in their culture twice - they've left their child behind, but that was forgivable because they didn't have a choice. But then, they sacrifice another's child, and they didn't even do it for the sake of their own. So they get Ghosted. (I have a whole other post about my theories on Ghosting, but this is getting too long to get into it here).

Runaan and Ethari, who they entrusted their daughter to, take Rayla further into their home as a result. Rayla has already asked to train with Runaan because he's rescued her from her first brush with death, and she's got a bit of hero worship going on. Runaan cautions her about it, and visibly has doubts about his own path in life, but he commits to it because it's what she wants, and his husband reassures him. When Zubeia calls on him as leader of the assassins to take vengeance for her mate and son, he's left with a choice of bringing Rayla along even though he doubts if she's mentally and emotionally ready (he knows she physically is), in order to restore her honor that was stained by her parents' cowardice, or forcing her to stay behind and suffer with their shame for the rest of her life. This is a no-win scenario. Either he brings her on a mission he knows she isn't ready for, and risks her failing and suffering with that, or he forcibly condemns her to living with failures that aren't her own. So either she suffers from Tiadrin and Lain's failures, or from his. So he chooses to bring her, against his husband's advice, and to take on responsibility for it.

And then he fucks up. He tests her by sending her after the guard that witnesses them, and he doesn't follow her. He doesn't make sure she gets the job done. When she comes back and lies about it, and they discover the truth, the rest of their team - their whole cultural view, really - demands that he kill her for this failure, for condemning them all, and he doesn't. They respect him enough not to kill her without his permission, either, even though by lying to them and dooming the mission she has committed the worst crime she possibly could. And I think this choice on Runaan's part is partially the fact that he cares about her as a daughter, but also guilt, because he knows he's the one who backed her into that corner. He put her in that position knowing she wasn't ready for it. It's his fault she failed, not hers. So he just tells her to sit it out, sacrifice her hand if they fail but survive, because she doesn't deserve to die for his sins. She may have to live with the guilt of their deaths, but if he succeeds in this, she will at least get to live longer and go home.

Rayla throws a wrench in this by showing up anyway, and she betrays the mission again by not only holding him up, but insisting on rescuing one of their targets. He still doesn't kill her. He threatens to, but when it comes down to it, he's the one that turns away from the fight, not her, to focus on the mission - which again, if he succeeds in it, means she can go home, she can live with his honor and not her parents' shame, even if he can't.

It doesn't happen that way, obviously, but here's where things get interesting - and complicated - with Ethari.

So from Ethari's perspective, all he knows in the end of season 1 is that the mission isn't done, the other assassins are dead, and Rayla is alive. I think it's a disservice to his character and the rest of the Silvergrove to assume they just didn't notice that Runaan's lotus didn't fully sink; more likely is that a sunk lotus means the assassin is as good as dead. They're in a position like Runaan's where they've been captured and declared themselves dead because they know there's no other way out, there will be no rescue and they're not likely to escape on their own. So Runaan's been captured and will die there, and Rayla escaped but has not completed the mission or gone back for him, nor does he expect her to.

So what is Ethari supposed to believe? That she's somehow done the impossible, and found a third way out that will lead to a new era of peace for all of Xadia?

Or, is he to believe that he was right the whole time, she wasn't ready, but instead of committing like she swore she would, she fled, like her other parents did? She sacrificed everyone, including her other father, and ran?

Which one of those seems like the more likely option from his perspective?

Then she comes home, and he learns the truth, but there's nothing he can do about it, because the Ghost spell is permanent. He doesn't even know it can be broken - Runaan has to tell them that's a thing three years later in season 7. So he's left with this horrible knowledge that while on a small scale, it looks like Rayla sacrificed five lives for one (or three, her own with Ez and Zym), with a wider perspective, she was actually doing the most Moonshadow thing possible and focusing on saving more lives than anyone knew could be saved. And there's nothing he can do to reverse his vote, to make up for what he's done to her, so he gives her what he can and lives with that guilt for two years.

The moment she comes back and he sees her again, and finds out there is something he can do, he's willing to throw his entire life away to mitigate the harm their community caused her. I don't think that was demonstrative of his solidarity with Runaan; I think it was driven by spending the last two years knowing that their society is flawed and living with the harm their community did to Rayla.

Also, backing up a bit to season 3 to touch on an example of humans applying their cultural context to Moonshadow things, is Callum accusing Rayla of staying at the Storm Spire out of pride.

He's misunderstanding her dedication here. It's not about personal pride for her. At this point, from her perspective, her parents have committed the gravest sin in their native culture in abandoning Zym's egg. She's been living in the shadow of that shame for a year. She's also abandoned her original duty - sure it was for a good reason, but it doesn't change the fact that she sacrificed the lives of her friends and father. She made a choice for them that ended their lives. The only thing she can do now, culturally, to make up for those crimes is to sacrifice herself in the name of duty and saving who she can; and there's still a chance her spirit won't be welcomed into their afterlife when it's over.

That's why this moment matters. "Just - remember me, okay?" It's not about personal pride, it's about deeply ingrained cultural values. Her name is banned at home. She's asking him to remember her because no one else will (or in Ethari's case, will be permitted to acknowledge they do). I'm not trying to bash Callum here, because he genuinely does not understand this and in the end he works with her and ends up staying just as she does. It's just an example of how even characters in the narrative make the mistake of forgetting that there's cultural divides here.

All in all, within what we know for sure and can extrapolate about Moonshadow elves' culture and history, I think our three main Moonshadows' choices do all make sense. It also makes sense how they're all willing to forgive each other in the end, because while they've all fucked each other up, it was heavily influenced by a culture that, while attempting to preserve as much as they can, has turned harsh and unforgiving about it. It's not as simple as "Runaan and Ethari are abusive fathers because Runaan took a child to a murder and Ethari ghosted her after". (On that point it's also worth noting that no one questions Rayla being on a high-profile assassination anyways. She's treated as an adult within her own society, just as Soren was at only a year older than her. This one's a spot where we're applying modern day values about adulthood to a medieval world in which being treated as an adult at 15-16 was not unusual.) Runaan and Rayla both fucked up, culturally, and fucked each other up doing so. Ethari did everything right, culturally, and harmed both Rayla and himself in doing so, and then was just alone with that for three years. He couldn't even lean on the rest of the Silvergrove for support because of the Ghost spell and its rules (Lyrennus refuses to even say Rayla's name until she's restored, and Rayla never mentions her parents' names; it's likely all discussion of them is banned).

Anyway, I really hope we get Arc 3 and I hope they expand upon how this experience has challenged the Moonfam's cultural views, and what ripple effects that will have on Moonshadow society as a whole. Runaan and Ethari are both well-respected members of the community, and Rayla is very likely to become a significant figure in their histories too now that she's returned.

TL;DR we need to stop putting human values on inhuman characters. Stop putting inappropriate cultural values onto characters in general.

Sources:

Contents of the show

Through The Moon (graphic novel)

Book One (referenced via This Page on the official wiki)

Bloodmoon Huntress (graphic novel)

The Queen's Mercy short story (found here)

All Storms End short story (found here)

Hot Brown Morning Potion podcast interview with creators (here)

[scoobydoodean]

so i’ve always been annoyed by the belief that “sam and dean are toxically co-dependent, especially dean!” like it just baffles me once i remember all the times they’ve been apart without one of them being dead (and actually including post swan song to an extent), but i’ve never been able to properly articulate why i think dean at least isn’t really co-dependent on sam. like there’s a difference between being (co)dependent on somebody and dean’s parentification right? thanks!

I'll preface this by saying I am not a medical professional nor have I studied academic literature on codependency in great detail. That said, "codependency" is usually just a buzzword used colloquially to describe people who are obsessed with each other anyway. I address the colloquial use and how Sam is much more unhinged here. I'm guessing the colloquial use is really more what you mean, but if you're looking for something different or a little more specific than that, I can probably write or point you to some other things I've written if you give me something more specific to go on.

That said, there is something about the way fandom talks about "codependency" between Sam and Dean that bothers me, and I think by reading around about codependency today after I got this ask, and finding out that this term is controversial among mental health professionals as well... I finally figured out why.

I think to a lot of people, "codependent" has become synonymous with words like "needy" and "suffocating". However, the WebMD type articles I started with, suggest that the partner of the codependent party is the one whose needs seem to constantly overshadow and outweigh the needs of the codependent partner in the relationship. While the codependent partner can exhibit negative behaviors, the primary problem of the codependent party is that in being a caretaker, they can lose all sense of their identity and boundaries, and don't know who they are outside of being a caretaker for others. However, this is a more modern take on the term. Because these articles I started with mentioned academic controversy, I then found a few academic papers to skim, and this proved to be even more helpful in understanding why I... don't like this term very much.

First, the historical origins of it are... off-putting. The term "codependency" first emerged in academic literature in the 1940s to describe wives with alcoholic husbands who behave as "enablers" [1, 2]. I probably don't have to point out how different things were for women back then, and how rampantly sexist that context makes this first wave of literature sound, but it's discussed extensively in this article. Second, there is more stigma associated with the term partly because Alcoholics Anonymous (shocking /s) latched onto it starting in the 60s and 70s:

The influence of the AA culture in shaping the concept of codependency as an illness offered the idea that people who were close to the substance user were themselves suffering from an illness (O’Briean and Gaborit 1992). These people were viewed as enablers and coalcoholics (Cotton 1979). [ 1 ]

I... think I am probably not the only one who finds that utterly rancid to read (some academics writing on the subject certainly seem to):

According to Gus Napier, a noted family therapist, it is "ridiculous" to label codependency as a disease, because it is a culturally conditioned response of an overfunctioning person in relationship with an underfunctioning person (Meacham, 1990-1991). [2]

Some researchers who have pushed the term "codependency" as a diagnosis have actually suggested that literally anyone who is living with someone with an addiction should be called co-dependent by definition, regardless of any behavior they may exhibit, which tells you a lot about the lack of consensus and how meaningless the term can be [2]. The term (especially within the disease model where codependency itself is a from of addiction) has been criticized by many researchers for the misogyny through which the term originated, for unproductive negative labeling and pathologizing of people (especially women) dealing with incredibly difficult situations with their loved ones, for victim-blaming people (especially women stuck in abusive relationships) for the actions of their partners, for tangentially—negative stereotyping about people with serious addictions, and for conflating addiction with interpersonal problems, and in the extreme case—for suggesting separation from ones family is the solution to addiction and supporting someone with an addiction somehow always enables them [1, 2].

Since the original stream of literature related to addiction, codependency has rebranded and expanded into literature on family experiences with abuse and mental and physical illness. Which is where we get articles like this one I already linked. The codependent party is still a caretaker in these settings, caring for the needs of a loved one who is ill. Still, "codependency" is not an official medical diagnosis (i.e. not in the DSM-5). It's a term that has been used in academic literature by mental health professionals, when trying to describe a range of behaviors within dysfunctional families. These researchers do not agree on the term's meaning or on whether it even is or should be a diagnosis. Many are interested in it only from an interpersonal or personality perspective, which is also where we should stick.

Taking all of this into account though, I think the very first thing we have to ask ourselves is what exactly we get out of using the term "co-dependency" to describe Sam and/or Dean when the term doesn't even really have an agreed-upon meaning. Is the intention to write interesting character analysis, or is the intention to glorify or criticize using a term that has historically stigmatized understandable human reactions to troubled family situations? I think the goal has perhaps too often been the latter.

That said, I've already been referencing it, but I think this article does a good job of summarizing much of the literature, and then actually focusing on people who do choose, of their own accord, to identify with the term "codependent" because it is helpful for them in understanding their own lived experience and their patterns within relationships. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to explore this as it relates to Sam and Dean with the right motivations. If you read the accounts of the respondents who choose to identify with the term, you'll see shades of Sam and Dean I think (I have written something pretty close to the chameleon-self about season 1 Dean, and I can apply that one to Sam too through his attempts to fit in at Stanford). When it comes to my experience with these characters however, I just don't find that I personally see any value in analyzing Sam and Dean through the word "codependent" given it's lack of agreed-upon meaning professionally and colloquially.

It seems to me that the term itself leads to more confusing conversations instead of less confusing ones because of the lack of clear definition, and the potential for negative stereotyping instead of actual edifying analysis is extremely off-putting to me. It just doesn't do anything for me personally. The issues to which it relates I think are interesting (especially parentification which is a term I do find useful), and I think criticisms leveled against the term are also useful to read in understanding ones own struggles with how fandom tends to frame Dean as a caretaker who they believe is actually somehow responsible for everyone else's decisions. But I think that perhaps I prefer words and concepts that are better defined than the muddiness of the term "codependent".

Lastly: Even if I'm not a particular fan of the term, the fact is that the actual show uses the term twice—in season 5 (shoutout to butch--dean's transcript search engine). Once in 5.11 "Sam, Interrupted" (to Dean):

DR. FULLER Well, to be frank, uh, the relationship that you have with your brother seems dangerously codependent. I think a little time apart will do you both good.

First, this dude doesn't really know what's going on and thinks Sam and Dean are having delusions. However, in season 5, Sam's experience with demon blood is repeatedly paralleled with drug or alcohol addiction, and Sam is someone for whom Dean has been made to feel responsible for most of his life. This episode addresses Dean's overly burdensome responsibilities in other ways and it's also come up in the past in 1.12, 2.09, 2.10, and 4.05. I prefer to discuss this theme with much more specific terms. In this case, I would say Dean has an "overactive sense of responsibility to others", originating first with his childhood experiences with parentification. Sam also has a tendency to try and make Dean shoulder responsibility for his decisions when they backfire, and does so multiple times related to the demon blood (4.04, 4.21, 5.05). Cas and Zachariah also both blame Dean for Sam breaking the last seal because he didn't stop him in time (5.01, 5.02) and Bobby criticizes how Dean responds to Sam's addiction (4.22).

And then again in 5.18 "Point of No Return", specifically when Zachariah (my favorite manipulative angel) tries to get Adam to be on his side by basically calling Sam and Dean creepy incestuous weirdos:

ZACHARIAH So you know you can’t trust them, right? You know Sam and Dean Winchester are psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other, right?

This one honestly to me is just Zachariah doing Zachariah things. I'll reach these episodes on my rewatch fairly soon though, so we'll see if I end up talking about it more then.

Bacon, I., McKay, E., Reynolds, F. et al. The Lived Experience of Codependency: an Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. Int J Ment Health Addiction 18, 754–771 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11469-018-9983-8

Anderson, S. C. (1994). A Critical Analysis of the Concept of Codependency. Social Work, 39(6), 677–685. http://www.jstor.org/stable/23717128

[bomberqueen17]

smorkles

So anyway. I don't remember when I last posted about anything and I'm not going to go look it up.

I don't start back at the farm until May 13th. My cabin has no electricity currently but there is apparently a trench being dug, and it will contain both a real electrical line (not a duct-taped extension cord!) and a water line??? of some kind??? with actual potable water??? sounds fake but ok.

but I am going to, not quite the farm, this week, leaving tomorrow. And i am going to stay with my middle-little sister. Because her housemate moved out, and her house needs some renovations, and now she's thinking she needs to sell that house and downsize to a smaller one, and that's all fine but like the main thing she needs to do is to get rid of like 3/4 of the objects she owns, and i say this from a place of I also have to get rid of like 3/4 of the objects I own and I dont' know how to do it or how to make her do it either and hate the entire concept of the process. But hey. There it is.

I am bringing her a kitchen table and a whole-ass tree that was rescued from dude's work office but is too tall for our ceilings. she has higher ceilings. we'll see how this goes.

i feel like i should be sort of retrospecting on what i did this off-season. right? like my life is in two annual chunks: farm work season, and not farm work season. Farm work season is usually April-ish through the beginning of December. And then since the beginning of December I've been doing Not Farm Work and I have no idea if I've achieved any of those goals. Did I set goals? IDK.

I did want to get my ADHD shit sorted out. So I started seeing a therapist. And she's admitted she's like, for short-term stuff, and needs to get me passed along to more of a specialist type person maybe. IDK. I've been told to form habits, told to buy a notebook to turn my life around with, and in other doses been fed things that i have largely seen before because i have been living like this for like, 40 years.

anyway. and also i tried all the basic meds, everything's "here try this and see what it does" dosages have given me negative side effects and no good effects, so if I want to continue trying to medicate myself I need to actually have a psychiatrist who I can ask questions of and get a response faster than two weeks. (That's how long it took to hear back on whether I could stop taking atomoxetine when it started giving me really bad anhedonia. Thankfully i had already figured that out on my own twelve days before, because i could not have lived like that for those twelve additional days, it was really bad. also he was like "and discontinue wellbutrin" my friend i discontinued wellbutrin in 2014 so i'm not sure who this was addressed to.)

but. yesterday's conversation, the therapist was going on about different things-- I had been given a rundown by a friend about the different types of behavioral therapy that existed, and how some of those might be more useful in trying to make concrete improvements in one's life, and my person was like "the thing is most of those are just fancy names for stuff you've largely already encountered so there is not going to be a magic technique that fixes you" and it's like

the thing is when have i ever said "find magic technique/drug that fixes me" is a therapy goal? That's not my goal. My goal is explicitly "figure out better coping mechanisms than what I have because brute-forcing normality for as long as I can and then feeling real shitty when I can't anymore isn't very sustainable", and no, I don't think that ACT or DBT is going to magically fix me, but if I can find more tools through a coordinated approach, wouldn't that be good?

What i can say is that so far using a lot of CBT-lite language and making lists has actually given me a borderline-pathological avoidance of my Special Notebook, in which i can no longer write but i do still carry it everywhere like a talisman (it's very useful. not), so I'm writing essays on discarded envelopes because I can't even use The Good Scrap Paper for this, when I tell you I've scarred myself trying to figure out how to make a fucking to-do list I'm not exaggerating.

So I have an essay written on an envelope from which i'm trying to extract, like, a thematic through-line to guide me in what to do next, and then a bunch of witterings in a discord convo, and I wrote a list of things I want to bring, and I did go move some furniture just now so I can get that table out of my house at some point.

Anyway, though, mid-conversation, the therapist was like, "have you ever heard of smorkles?" and i was like "i'm -- what? smorkles?" and she was excited and was like "oh this one will be so good for you!" and i was like "Sporkles? Smorkles? I'm not sure i"m hearing you, can you spell that" and she proceeded to spell out the word "smart" which

yes I do know about SMART goals actually, they are a management technique from the 80s that my dude uses extensively in his job as a staff engineer (which is like management but not quite) in his very corporate job at a very large software company, and he had laid out the criteria for me very earnestly once on a walk. so i do in fact know about them but not how to really apply that to my own life, and would need to figure out how to break that down, and i need a lot more steps than 'find a pen' and 'buy The Notebook That's Gonna Turn Your Life Around' to make that work.

but anyway.

i've decided now that smorkles are my new technique. and yes also smart goals but I think I'm going to call it "smorkles" because then I can make memes about my commitment to smorkle motion etc.

i need to figure out what SMORKLE is an anagram for. er, not anagram. the other thing.

[writingquestionsanswered]

i'm currently trying to write a story with second chance trope. the story is about a friend group since childhood of 2 girls and 4 boys. the female mc and the male mc were developing feelings for each other, then the male mc left the country without telling anyone. after 3 years of no contact, he comes back. naturally, the female mc has a lot of pent up resentment towards him but she still has romantic feelings for him.

so, any tips on writing a second chance romance?

Second Chance Romance

There are five really important keys to writing a good second chance romance:

1 - Create a Sense of What Was - Even if the story starts after that first relationship (or almost relationship) ended, it's important to give the reader a sense of what that relationship was like. What drew them to one another initially? What were their interactions like? What strengthened their bond? You can paint this picture using a combination of flashbacks, memories recalled in exposition, memories recalled in dialogue, having the character look at photos or video, comparing present experiences with past ones, or even through snippets in dreams.

2 - Be Clear About What Went Wrong - The reader can't root for a second chance if they don't understand what went wrong the first time around. Specific to your story, you'll need to address not only why this character suddenly left the country without telling anyone and without contact, but how they rationalized the negative impact it would have on this person they were beginning to develop a relationship with.

3 - Be Clear About What Went Right - Sometimes relationships fail, even if their foundations are good, but that second go round isn't plausible unless there was something worth going back to. So, not only is it important to be clear about what was good about the relationship when you illustrate it in retrospect, you'll also have to show us those things are still there--or have the potential to be.

4 - Illustrate What Changed - The relationship failed for a reason. Whether there was hurt involved, poor timing, wanting different things, or some other obstacle to progress. So, you can't give this couple a plausible shot at a second chance unless you show us how the obstacles were removed or overcome. In the case of your story specifically, not only will you need to address why the character left in the first place, but why they chose to come home, and how they make amends for disappearing without notice or contact.

5 - Rebuild Relationship Upon Old and New - I like to think of it like this: imagine the concrete slab foundation of a house. This is what the couple built together in round one. But when they parted, the foundation was damaged in places (the amount of damage obviously depends on what caused the split.) When they meet up again, the foundation is still there, it's just got the old damaged parts and a lot of erosion from time and weathering. But it's there. So as they work through what went wrong and patch up their friendship, they patch up the damage from their split. Then, as they get to know each other again and the friendship reestablishes itself, the foundation gets cleaned back up and brought back up to pristine. And from there, they can build the walls of their healthy relationship.

Happy writing!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[nickjunesource]

Can I just say that after rewatching the show and the trailer for the final season, smh I'm not that confident about how they're gonna handle OsBlaine relationship? Like I know Nick will never move on from her one way or the other but, as of now I don't think him and June are on the same page anymore(?) and ofc with Luke always in the picture......yeah I guess that I might already have an idea about how it's gonna end-

I really hope I'm wrong but I'll always cherish their story and possibly whatever they will throw at us :') *finger crossed*

We do not blame you for feeling that way. The show has treated Nick and Osblaine pretty poorly since 3x01, with a few small exceptions in the fourth season. And the writing quality as a whole has taken a hit beginning in the second season in small bits but really taking off in the third season. So it's good to enter into any season of this show with a degree of skepticism about the ability of the writers to do a good job. They're more interested in shock value than in consistent characterizations, growth, and proper story arcs. Alas season four appears to have been an aberration of improved quality and that has set a lot of our expectations a bit higher than they should have been since the disastrous season three.

We don't really have any information about the final two or possibly three episodes when it comes to Nick and Osblaine- the press release seemed to only cover the first seven episodes for Nick and June up to when June finds out whatever it is Nick did and is left spiralling. (Other characters seem to have had a bit more, with Tuello, Lawrence, and Serena getting mentions that cover episode ten, while Moira was never even mentioned at all!) So it's likely that both Nick and June seem to spend part of the season on different pages, with Nick focusing more on what he can do within the Gilead structure and his powerful connection to Wharton while June is about violently burning it all down, and then they'll end up on the same page. (Though we see Nick having to meet June's goals and plans more than her meeting his, and we wish this was a more of meeting in the middle thing as June's harebrained plans always get people killed or hurt and so Nick's more measured responses do have value too.)

We do appreciate that the one steady thing in all of this is Nick's love for June. And we're excited that June's selfishness towards him seems to be addressed with Nick feeling like he's starting to run on fumes and things beginning to fray a little after him giving so much and receiving so little, especially so with June seeming unable to give up Luke despite them no longer being in love. It'd be great for June to recognize that and be more emotionally supportive toward Nick. He really needs that.

Honestly we're not really that concerned with Luke anymore? We might be speaking too soon, but the information we have makes it seem that that is finally, finally, finally fizzling out as they seem to be focusing on Hannah (great!), acknowledging how they're not in love anymore (also great!), and having Luke see what June and Nick have together (another great thing!). Very few fans like June and Luke together. When you look at fanfiction, fanart, fanvids, and posts on social media, Osblaine gets significantly more attention than Juke ever does. Hell, June and Serena get more positive attention, and that is a victim/abuser relationship that many fans hate. If that doesn't say how little people care for Juke, we don't know what does. If the show is making this season about the fans, that's not the relationship to do it with.

It's certainly the healthiest position to approach this with a mix of trepidation and hope. One doesn't want to be too positive or they run the risk of being hurt (as we all have been with fandom meltdown #394), but one doesn't want to be too negative either or they'll struggle to enjoy the good bits that we will get. And we're in for a lot of good! It seems like the most Nick and Osblaine content since the second season! That itself is very exciting, even if it's not what we've expected and hoped for over this long break.

Buckle up, Osblaines! We're in for a much bumpier ride than anticipated.

[whimsicalhorss]

The Recent Nevermore Drama.

Red, I think it's quite sad that you decided to delete all the original comments going against you and reexplaining what went down within your 'apology', which was 95% calling out rather than talking about the cause of the whole uprising. Nonetheless, here was my original reply, just so everybody who stumbles across this post can see the reply from somebody who's viewed it from both sides. The original message was, as follows:

'Hey Red,

I hope you're managing amidst everything that's been going on. I know you've been through a lot recently, and I hate to add to the messages you've been receiving. However, there are some things that I really need to talk to you about.

Over the past few days — even years — I've noticed some things that really concern me. It feels like there's been a lot of blame unfairly placed on certain individuals within your community, which is incredibly damaging, especially when it unfairly paints others in a negative light. I understand you've been trying to address the situation with Crimson, but the approach taken hasn't been effective and has caused more harm than good.

In terms of the Crimson drama, I think it could have been handled more sensibly. Consulting with Laci and others involved would have been beneficial before making the decision to introduce Crimson back to the server. When you were writing your explanation, which I know was rushed, you should have stepped back and consulted for longer - I know you felt pressured, but.. you needed to give yourself time to handle it.

With the screenshots, too - they were only censored to the point of concealing most of the users involved to keep the MINORS safely out of the evidence, and yet you continued to banter on about how they were censored and unable to interpret what happened. As well, you tampered with evidence when you sent a screenshot, CUTTING OUT the part where Laci mentioned they could give you the evidence uncensored if you asked, yet you continued to complain.

On the topic of minors, you name dropped SEVERAL in your apology. Do you know how endangering or scary that can be? It's insane that you felt the need to name anybody involved to get people off your back.

There's also Sardonyx - I don't know if you'll share this with your patreons but, if you do, hello Sardonyx. They casually aggravate people, make NSFW conversation in YOUR SFW server, and you still allow them to pursue in such a way. They continued to temper people after the initial Crimson argument and started their own, which could have been avoided if you had muted both persons involved (rather than banning everybody against Sardonyx) and asked for them to calm down and explain their conflict in dms.

Also the Bunnybel issue - I know the topic was discussed by people banned, but there's also the factor that neither you, nor your mods stepped in to stop it. Matter of fact, you contributed to it, and everybody went along with it as a fun easter event of drawing your two main protagonists in these outfits that, when looked at closer, actually have a much more terrible implication. You should have handled this earlier, rather than blaming it on somebody and ranting about how it's all their fault and they're in the wrong.

Again with Laci, too - you outright blaming her for everything that has occurred is terrible. Whilst that may be what you see in this whole confrontation, in truth, it really isn't anything like that, Red. Saying that everybody else involved were her 'lackeys' and 'twisted around her finger' was an incompetent, foolish way of pinning all these hardships on her. Some people involved, including me, had barely spoken to Laci prior, because a lot of people cared about the fact that YOU had unbanned a potentially alleged pedophile back into your server full of minors. I know it doesn't seem like everybody cared, but we all did, otherwise we wouldn't have started this whole 'riot' thing or whatever to go against it. I surely cared, considering I have been at the face of two pedophiles sending me unsettling, inappropriate images, and I know that it is hard to reach out to somebody or stop them when they shrug it off so nonchalantly.

Lastly, I think it's hypocritical you spoke about how certain groups were stalker-ish and stealing messages from a patreon chat, despite you taking a chat from private servers and dms. The behaviour is equal, is it not? You used your influence to alter certain texts and take them out of context, and the other groups simply took what you said and proved that you, and unpunished, favourited people who have been held dearly, have done terrible things yourself.

I understand that this whole thing has been overwhelming for you, Red, but I believe that there was a real need for you to approach each situation differently, and not to compile everything into an 'apology' that is 5% apology, and 95% calling out people and altering the blame to be put on them. I think that the tactics you used were poor, and I hope that you do figure out something better in the future.

Take care, and I'm here if you'd like to discuss this any further.

Best regards,

A bystander.' And the second reply I made, aimed at one of her patreons (or moderators? who knows.) who put a whole lot of shit behind a paywall and then continued to support her. Aha, Debobble, if it wasn't illegal, I'd show the whole world you trying to make a fake screenshot of Laci 'configurating her hate schemes', and how terribly it was done. 'Hello!

I hope you're having a joyous, maybe even 'whimsical' day!

A lot of things that have occurred recently are the fault of both 'sides' (if we can call them that. Not 'Laci's lackeys' or 'Clique 1 and 2'.) and I think I should refer to the way that this has been dealt with again. 

Yes, the server was owned by somebody different who was capable of banning Crimson, and it was intended for less SFW purposes, but I think Crimson went outright too far in a predatory way. They put a teenage oc with an adult oc, which is pedophilic behaviour, and sent several overly NSFW images. I assume that this chat was intended for 'implied sexual circumstances', rather than overly perverse, but I could be wrong. I agree in the fact that something should have been done, and I approve of Laci's initial reaching out, but I don't approve of the way Red banned them for as little as they did.

As I like to say; 4 months, 4 minors. You afforded Crimson a month for each minor they influenced in such a predatory way, and I think the time should have been extended.

Might I also add, these screenshots were not 'heavily' censored. They were censored for the safety of the minors and other persons involved and, yet.. Red seems to be content with name dropping every minor who was involved. So much for the safety of her members!

AND I have more to add, which I trust you to hand over to Red for me since you seem content to do that quite often for her - do you mind reminding her and the entire patreon and mod chat that Crimson (and Red, I'm pretty sure) knew the age of one 12 year old, who we might call 'Green'. They continued to share NSFW things to them, including making jokes about what I assume was a 'vibrator in public'. How SFW for a child! Crimson is VERY innocent.

I agree that all of this has gotten out of hand, but both responses, from Red, the moderation team, and the patreon chat against the groups banned for involving themselves, but I wouldn't consider it a mob. Both sides had good intentions, it's just the way Red has gone about it - framing others for her mistakes and outright dismissing people for being concerned about the safety, that has made this come to such a volatile level.

And the whole, breaking several TOS, and a law? If thats what we're doing, what are you doing? Leaking private messages, encouraging predatory behaviour, endangering minors, leaking names which could result in a witch hunt from Red's expanse following? Oh dear..

How volatile.

Best regards,

A bystander.' Red, every little detail you have undergone is such a negative, unredeemable smidge to this massive whiteboard of what you could do. Instead of handling this like the adult, you undertake criticism harshly, which is detrimental considering you are somebody who has been writing for years, which means that you should have matured and adapted to take this kinds of things. You could have taken a month, maybe two, maybe three, to explain the whole Crimson thing - it would have been much less detrimental to yourself, and your community. You absolutely wrecked every second, third, fourth, fifth chance people were tempted to give you with every detail that went in to making sure that YOU felt like you had to be right - name dropping, which could lead to witch hunting with your massive following, especially since the people were minors and specifically requested you keep their names out of it. You allowed an alleged, potential predator back into your server without consulting it with victims - and don't get me started on the whole 'Crimson didn't know!', they knew at least one of them, and still continued. You pinned the blame on Laci, on another person (who has asked me not to say their name and, like the respectful person I am, will not be namedropping. That doesn't seem like a familiar concept to you, does it?) and you keep all these little dirty secrets behind a paywall. Red, in the most respectfully disrespectful way, grow up and learn to be better. You spout all this bull, every little detail and, when it backfires, you cower into a corner, guilt trip, manipulate, and eventually resort to the potential physical or mental harm of other people. It needs to stop. The icing on the cake, to all of this? YOU, as the 'mature adult that would never stand for pedophilic behaviour, that loves their audience, that has a server full of minors', that YOU would delete messages explaining the situation in a different point of view. You don't want your vast following to see these and think, 'huh, maybe Red isn't as good as I thought they were?', well they aren't. I don't know if people will see this but, sincerely, I hope Red, Flynn, DeBobble, the patreons, the moderators, and all of the discord and general following of Nevermore and RnF know that what Red spouts isn't necessarily all true.

Kind regards, A bystander.

[psilliguykai]

Hey Jashers! So. I’ve recently seen a lot of people expressing how they feel the CJ community has been getting kinda toxic lately. It’s honestly really disheartening to see this happening, especially as this community and Chonny’s music/characters mean a lot to me. I guess this is all to say: if you feel the CJ community is getting toxic, let’s try to actually fix it. And no this doesn’t mean “make 10000 callout posts”. The Jash himself said both on Twitter/X and on the CJFS he’d rather all this (recent incident[s?]) be essentially acknowledged and dropped. If you want to keep this fandom alive and healthy (which I feel for the most part it already is! CJ is active in the discord server and is comfortable engaging with his fans and I think that alone is a really positive sign. Plus we have some incredible creativity and support !) do your best to contribute to the positivity and respectful, good content that we DO for the most part produce. You can make it clear that creeps, those looking to disrespect boundaries/privacy, etc. aren’t welcome here, but please try to do so effectively and only as needed. I know it’s kinda trite, but these people feed off attention and giving them more of it (regardless of whether it’s positive or negative) is only going to worsen the situation. In addition, if you can, please try to adopt the mindset that while flawed, this is an ultimately pretty good and respectful community. The more you express that it’s toxic and disgusting, the more it’s gonna live up to that.

[If you feel the need to distance yourself that’s totally fine and understandable too, just please do it for yourself and not as like. a statement I guess?? Idk I honestly haven’t seen anyone doing this I just thought it could be good to address]

TLDR: This community means a lot to me and I really desperately don’t want to watch it go to shit. Please for the love of whatever, let the toxicity die attention-less in the shade and just . be respectful. foster the actually positive parts of this fandom so they can prosper.

[PS: genuinely none of this is actually directed at anyone!! More just addressing a recent trend I’ve seen I guess??? Anyways uh yeah. Stay cool and stay hyped for chaos week I suppose :]]

[bairdthereader]

Julio Spring, let's have a chat.

I find this man hard to write about because sometimes he makes himself exactly what his son needs, and other times he's almost damagingly quiet. Without knowing too much about Julio's past (I think I've read everything Alice has written about him, but for the purposes of this post I'm going to focus mainly on what we know from the show), it can be hard to parse his motivations and actions. But one thing we know for sure is that Julio is deeply concerned for Charlie.

The most poignant scene between them is obviously when Julio hugs Charlie after Harry's party. He can sense immediately that something is wrong, very wrong, but has the intuition and sensitivity to push aside the intense curiosity he must be feeling about why, or the details of what happened, and addresses the most pressing issue--Charlie's need for comfort and support.

Though we never see it on screen, or even much in the books aside from some narrative flashbacks, this must be a tragically familiar scenario for Julio; after all, he's been through at least a year or more of dealing with the aftermath of the bullying Charlie experiences. How achingly difficult must it be for Julio to repeat "it's going to be okay" to his son when he knows there's a good chance it might not ever be truly okay. The trust that Charlie must have in Julio to allow himself to fall apart in front of him indicates that Julio must have handled those past crises with enough care to make Charlie see him as a safe space. [And we can't assume that Julio is safe for Charlie just because he's his father--Alice makes it clear in other storylines that safety with family is far, far from a given.]

Julio has gone through this enough times that, when it's time to drop Charlie off at the cinema, he's clearly torn between allowing Charlie the freedom he needs, and the space to make his own judgments about what he can handle, versus his parental desire to protect Charlie from harm. The fact that he gives Charlie that space earns him a lot of respect in my eyes.

Afterward, he can tell that the conversation between Charlie and Ben was an antagonistic one, and that his concerns were valid. There's nothing worse as a parent than anticipating hurt for your child and then having that fear come true. But Julio doesn't push, or dig for more. Maybe he should have, but those calls are always hard to make, and even harder to judge from the outside.

A lot of Julio's tender and caring moments happen in the first season, so it's hard to watch in season two when there are many scenes where Julio is so obviously upset, worried, or angry, and yet does nothing. Sometimes, admittedly, it's hard to know what to do, and that's valid, but we need him to try.

We need Julio, who understands Jane and where she's coming from at least a little better than Charlie does, to step in and mediate when she's clearly letting her own past and her parents' critical behavior impact how she's interacting with her son.

We need Julio to follow up on his concern, that niggling worry and doubt that he has, about Charlie not eating and isolating himself.

We need Julio to object when he witnesses Charlie engaging in negative self-talk, to bolster his son with words of support.

Julio Spring is a good dad who cares incredibly deeply for a son he can't always completely understand, but there's room for growth here too. I really hope we get to see that in season 3.

*And fear not, the infamous hanky panky conversation will get its own post.

[ssnowjo]

PR Nonny here, hi (I used to post on Paloma’s blog from time to time. Posted twice on auntiegrogu’s and once on this blog too quite a while ago if I remember correctly).

Since there seems to be other PR nonnies, I will use this 🌟 as an identifier from now on in order to avoid any confusion.

I did send an ask a couple of weeks ago when somebody asked for a PR nonny’s POV to another blog but it wasn’t posted as it was deemed judgemental by the owner even though that wasn’t my intention at all. My sole intention has always been to clear up any misconceptions regarding PR. With your permission, I would like to once again try to address them:

PR relationship does not necessarily mean fake. It just means a relationship(whether it is something serious/casual/fake) is being used to promote both parties involved. It usually tends to be mutually beneficial.

PR stunt relationships on the other hand, are 100% fake without a doubt and duration depends on both the clients’ projects and goals, e.g., Sydney Sweeney and Glen Powell’s stunt lasted over 6 months, while others have lasted a year or three months.

Both PR relationships, as well as PR stunt relationships, make use of contracts.

Unfortunately, unless one was in the room when said contract was signed, there is no way anyone can know the terms and conditions established by both parties and that includes the duration of any PR campaign

There is a PR element to a certain extent given the obvious product placements, pictures, purposeful vague language used in past articles, as well as timing of the sightings

After that hard launch(DeuxMoi pictures and video), due to overexposure, strategy was adjusted in order to cherry pick the sightings. The point of each and every sighting is to lend credibility, especially during a rebranding.

Our goal as PR is to cultivate/maintain a public, positive and lasting personal brand for our clients(keep them relevant). Any strategy that would stray from that would be instantly readjusted as needed, especially, once again,during a rebranding

Nothing is ever out of reach to some when it comes to PR tactics. But once again, it must all be planned meticulously in order to avoid negative PR

“Any publicity is good publicity” is a myth. It’s been proven time and time again that nothing will ever beat positive PR

In PR we do not use the term crisis when referring to a difficult client. A PR crisis is an event that harms the reputation of our brand/client. These events have a clear start and an end

The term PR crisis is not to be confused with the term PR issue. A PR issue is an event that can have impact on our client but it’s usually not critical nor urgent and can span years

Negative comments about our client here and there are considered a PR issue. Viral negative comments(posts,press) would be considered a PR crisis

PR issues are often monitored closely, e.g., comments left on every social media platform

I have indeed used the term “nightmare” in the past to refer to one of the involved simply because this person is known for being someone who can’t take no for an answer. Other colleagues just refer to this person as difficult. It’s a personal preference really.

As someone who works in crisis management now but has experience in strategic communications as well, I can tell this campaign has made(is still making?)a lot of rookie mistakes from the very start. Not the trademarks of a PR pro.

There is now a more than obvious lack of coordination between teams. One team seems to have taken the lead during this campaign and given the lack of finesse and experience, it is quite easy to infer which one it is. This is quite noticeable due to conflicting priorities. One client’s needs have clearly taken preference over the other’s.

In PR it is well known that differences in strategy can make or break a campaign. Collaboration or competition? Unfortunately for my colleagues, this campaign has terribly missed(and keeps missing) its mark.

Apologies, I did not intend for this to be so long.

Hope it helps :)

Disclaimer: once again this is in no way a confirmation of said relationship(wether it’s fake/real or wether its still going on or not). This is only an assessment based on my professional experience.

🌟

Thanks pr nonny, I do remember you it was a while ago

[jolynesmom]

I hate to share this but I don't have anyone to talk. It's been so long I've discovered about void and since then I've always wanted to manifest "family Change " in the void cause my mother. I don't want to make her the villian in my life but I can't help she literally abuse me everytime and says the filthiest, dirtiest things which I swear no parents says to their children and even my dad doesn't stop her . Everyday I having a mental breakdown and I go to bed with the hope that I will enter the void and I don't have to face the same day tomorrow again. To be honest I don't know how can I enter void at this low . I've been literally loosing hope. I feel like the void actually a void which will never come to me

hey I’m so sorry to hear that :(( my heart breaks every time someone comes to me saying they’re abused by their family. it’s such a disgusting thing and I’ll never wrap my head around on how someone can do this to their child

I really wish I could do something for your situation, but all I can do is give you a few words of advice

before anything I want to let you know that you shouldn’t feel guilty for villainizing your parents. such things are not normal and should not be excused. your parents should be thankful that the only thing you want from them is a healthy relationship after what they’ve put you through

let’s address the first issue. you’re not motivated to enter the void because you’re brought down by your circumstances. a lot of you seem to forget that the law of assumption exists and you can use it to successfully change your circumstances instantly without entering the void state. hell, you can use law of assumption to enter the void!! use the law of assumption to make your parents leave you alone or to even do a 180° in their behavior

I was actually in a similar position before entering the void where I was demotivated to even try because of my dad’s behavior towards me, so I used the law of assumption to make his stop being so harsh towards me. not only did he start to be nicer to me, but he even moved back to our home country due to some circumstances while I stayed in the uk, since then I’ve only known peace

if you don’t want to use loa to change your circumstances (which you should) then use the negativity in your life to fuel your motivation to enter the void. like ‘everyone treats me so bad, let’s see their reaction after I fulfill my desires and they’ll remain miserable here’

I feel like a broken record because I’ve said it so many times, but entering the void is embarrassingly easy. like I mean it, it’s so easy once I almost tapped into it while I laid down for 3 minutes waiting for my food to heat in the oven. and the great part about the void is that you don’t need a great mindset or to be overly motivated to try a complex method that will take you 3 hours to finish, you can just say ‘I want to enter the void’, fall asleep and wake up there

this is why I don’t like those challenges people do to change their mindset, affirm 100k times per day, listen to subs 25/8, do complicated meditations, vaunt or whatever. if you want to do them and feel like they’ll take you closer to the void, by all means go off, but you absolutely do not need them lol

when I entered the void for the first time I didn’t do anything special, I actually didn’t even think it’s possible to do it without yoga nidra then I tapped into it instantly when I was in a state between asleep and awake and said to myself that I want to enter the void asap

so yeah, use loa, treat everything with indifference and persist even if your circumstances are unfavorable

I’ll link some posts below that will hopefully give you some direction and motivation to persist

sending you lots of love and positive energy 🤍

🫐jani’s law of assumption guide

🍓 manifestation/loa is your bff

🥝psa: you can manifest anything

🍊 manifestation in 3 steps

🍑 doubting the void?

🍒 lullaby method to enter the void (personal favorite)

🥥distraction method to enter the void state

🍇 arlinski void state method

I also suggest you to check out @/tia-222 on tumblr because they have amazing posts which helped me master the void state in less than 3 weeks

[accio-victuuri]

so about the Rocco Liu “issue”, I feel like I have already made a case with my candy post on the same day. I have 3 points to address and people are free to hate him or whatever because that’s on you. however, it’s ridiculous to project those thoughts and make up stories that WYB feels the same way as you do. Or that he should do certain things, because if you have all forgotten, he is a grown ass man that can make his own decisions. he can decide who he interacts with. i understand that most of the negative reactions come from a place of love and care for yibo but we should still try and be rational.

disclaimer, this is all my personal opinion based on my own values and experience. i don’t represent any fandom with this post. for those of you who wanna know what i think about his 227 kadian then scroll to the last part.

I see a lot of people making a big deal about how RL allegedly has a crush on WYB and therefore that makes him a creep.

My dudes, let me tell you a secret…..

99.9% of people who meet WYB will end up having a crush on him. Will be a little bit in love with him, after spending 2 minutes with him or even having the slightest bit of interaction like an eye contact. That’s just the kind of person he is. He is the main character.

The narrative of certain fans who get threatened of people like RL or CZX because they are in a position of power and seem to have ulterior motives with WYB is ridiculous. WYB is not some starlet who needs to get his foot in the door. RL & GQ need someone like him in that event. He has the upper hand or they are at equal footing. If people really know WYB like they say they do, it would be very clear that he sets boundaries. It’s not like WYB is defenseless.

If RL has a crush on him. Can you blame him? What’s so wrong? That makes him part of the majority. So where is the creepy part coming from?

Some are giving example of incidents that RL was inappropriate with WYB.

First of all, it is very clear that he was not being forced to ride the boat with Rocco. We all know Yibo’s standing. There is no one there who can match up to him. He is also not actively promoting a drama to join a certain set of people. So the next best thing is to be with the “host” of the event. I was actually thinking he might be alone but realized the theme was you will have someone to ride it together with you. It makes perfect sense to me. It’s the most logical choice. Yibo is the guest of honor.

Second, I don’t know where people are getting the idea that he was uncomfortable with that 3 minute ride out of very short clips. Did we even watch the same thing? As soon as he rode the boat, he was chill. He even said hi to Li Xian who called to him first. He had his coffee and was relaxed. All entertainment blogs praised him for his state. Unlike other celebrities who were so awkward or did unnecessary things. The hot search was RL & WYB rode the boat together. That’s all. No one commented on main that the two were awkward with each other. If you monitored the hot search, you would know that. The discussion and critique was more on people mocking how boring it was and that it’s just a simple boat. How it looked “cheap” and asking why is there no host to interact with the celebrities. There was nothing majorly bad about WYB. He was on hot search in a positive light even on the next day.

EXAMPLE ONE: RL was trying so hard to be close and sit next to WYB but he said no. Because his gege will be mad uwu

But if you look at it, he was asked if he wants to switch seats. Look at RL’s hand, pointing to his side of the boat. WYB declined. He was okay with his position. Does that smile look faked to you? It’s a genuine smile that’s all good with the person they are interacting with.

EXAMPLE TWO : I can’t find the video but it was RL touching WYB’s waist like guiding him and WYB moved away. I can understand why people will find that too touchy feely. I see it was WYB was surprised so he did that. RL is not someone he spends so much time but to say it’s because WYB was so uncomfortable is a stretch. He was talking to him and was v chill even in the old town red carpet.

These examples are mostly from cpfs who are irrationally threatened. Going as far as saying that the original iconic boat ride featuring WYB is the 9 min boat video with XZ. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Here we go again with the unnecessary double standard just to make a point. Trying to make it seem that the experience was horrible to WYB. The notion that WYB can and should only have good memories connected to XZ and vice versa is so unreasonable. There are times that the difference is clear but going as far as to twist things is too much. What if certain accounts picked up on it? I don’t even wanna imagine a hot search that says something like RL harassed WYB all because of what others are posting.

&&& I’m just gonna copy and paste this here:

During the boat ride, he was clapping for Rocco, like applauding him for the event i guess. In the meantime, on Weibo, the top hot search were people criticizing the “boat” thing on GQ ( literally something like GQ boat embarrassment was the tag ) As soon as the live started it went on 1 or 2. I don’t know if Bobo saw that but I just like how he showed his appreciation to Rocco, and by extension, his team. That’s just my interpretation and it could be a completely different thing but knowing WYB, he is very generous with acknowledging people. Maybe we can take a page from his book in this aspect.

He even shook RL’s hand and smiled. If you think this is somehow WYB being fake. I don’t even know what to say to you.

I also wanna point out how some are saying these things because of their prejudice against queer people who look like rocco liu. If they look a certain way then it’s most likely they are queer perverts who will take advantage of young men like WYB. While I do agree that incidents like that happen, it’s horrible how people are jumping to conclusion because of a few second clip and his “look”. I’m sorry but queer people come in all shapes and sizes. They do not look like the boys in your manhua/manhwa. It’s like you pick and choose who is the kind of queer that’s ok and palatable. Which is still homophobia by the way. It’s okay if it’s two guys who are handsome like ZZ and WYB, but if someone else comes close who doesn’t look as fine as them then it’s disgusting.

I remember that one incident, a photo of ZZ with a handsome doctor. CPFs were loving it! Already making up head canons that WYB is jealous or ZZ probably tried to make WYB jealous by using that person. How it would be cool to write a fic about that. 💀💀💀 Which makes me think that if WYB rode that boat with Yangyang for example, someone who he finds handsome and have the bare minimum interaction— CPFs will be elated! It would be twisted into something like a “omg zz is jealous blah blah blah”. This is my problem with some CPFs and how limited their understanding is of the real world. How treating the boys as fictional people is so easy and encouraged. I cringe at those who even implied that XZS suddenly posted a vlog cause he wants to assert his ownership of WYB because of what RL did. If you think that statement doesn’t make sense, then we are on the same boat. 🛶

Which leads us to big argument…

The whole narrative of how can WYB work closely with GQ even if they dissed XZ back in 227 era.

The whole article was not made by Rocco. It was a different person. Even the “accounts” they say are RL cannot be verified. Second, this whole we will never forget mentality is so fuckin toxic tbh. Why can’t their be healing from all the hurt back in 227? Do people really think XZ is out there with a fuckin notebook with all the people who took a jab at him that time? One way or another he will work with these people. That’s how the industry is. I don’t remember XZS saying his fans should seek vengeance. What i recall, repeatedly being said is to not join in on unnecessary conversations that will cause negativity amongst people.

Tho I believe that XZ is more wary of certain people, especially with those who stabbed him in the back.

Now some fans are so angry cause RL’s response with the height HS ( which i talked about here ) is to Kadian 227. The answer is simple. It’s 🍤🍤🍤 who were commenting and doing the most to spread this rumor. So this shade was for them and a reminder what may happen if they are not careful and stay on their lane. We are not new to this. XFX are known to do shady things that do not reflect Xiao Zhan. Tho it’s sad how he gets affected by it when he didn’t even do anything.

This is not special treatment to XFX or that he has some deep seated hatred for XZ. It’s XFX who has the vendetta and capitalized on what some blog and antis were implying. Just the other day, top hot search was Rocco Liu is not embarrassed. This bitch reposted the top post on the GQ boat embarrassment hot search by some blog and said he wasn’t embarrassed. Yep. He is that petty. 😂😂😂😂 He will not take things lying down. If you look at context, it’s pretty obvious.

I also saw Gabrielle, who is GG’s friend and someone who defended him during 227 shared a photo he took of his friends WYB & Rocco. So should we cancel Gabrielle too cause he is friends with Rocco? Where do we draw the line?

In conclusion, it wouldn’t kill you to take a step back and look at things without a cpf lens on. Look at the context. Trust XZ and WYB. It was honestly distasteful how some were focusing more on the drama than how amazing WYB looked that night.

That’s all. Now back to the normal posts. ✌🏼

[captainclickycat]

So while we're on the subject, here are some other thoughts.

I found Neil Gaiman's online presence - and the more overzealous members of his fanbase - annoying. And please stay with me here, I promise this isn't me trying to be smug or claim I "knew all along" or anything. There's a huge gulf between finding someone a bit annoying and thinking that their behaviour online is less than stellar occasionally and suspecting them of being a sexual predator. I don't think there could have been any way of me "knowing all along" without reading everything in the worst possible faith, which I'm not willing to do and which I maintain is not a good or helpful approach in general. And to people who genuinely looked up to him and felt completely blindsided by the news, I'm really sorry. It wasn't your fault and I hope you can do something kind for yourself today.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. I didn't like the way he handled criticism of his work, a lot of the time. I don't think creators are obligated to personally listen to and address every negative opinion of their work, or explain every individual aspect of it that someone disliked. But I felt like a lot of his responses to feedback tended to lean into and encourage praise, while being a little disingenuous and sometimes belittling towards criticism. (And really, why feel the need to respond to everything when you could just ignore it?)

I didn't like the way he always felt the need to weigh in on fandom debates or throw out "word of god" explanations for this or that thing, including when nobody even asked. (Want to know who inspired the "I don't care what the author said" comment in my bio? Take a guess.) Especially when some of them felt engineered to paint him and his work in the best possible light.

Again, I'm not drawing attention to all this in an attempt to claim any one thing was a blatant red flag or must have been down to some sinister motivation. That's not the point I'm trying to make.

But it is one of the reasons that I was always deeply uncomfortable by the culture of hero-worship and "touch not god's anointed" that always seemed to exist around him. Like regardless of whether or not you thought this or that criticism against him was warranted, the way people would treat him like some kind of messiah who deserved nothing but praise and lose their absolute shit whenever anyone said anything remotely negative about him was absurd. Nobody deserves that, regardless of what they've done.

But at the same time... you know, I liked his work. Not just "I liked the stuff he co-wrote with someone else" or "I liked the films and TV shows he worked on with a whole bunch of other people." I liked the books he wrote by himself. They had some parts worth criticising, sure, what doesn't. But overall I thought they were well-written and funny and thought-provoking and I enjoyed myself when I was reading them. Neverwhere is the first book I had a crack at re-reading in a different language, which should tell you how much I liked it. And I didn't even dislike everything he posted on the internet. I thought some comments were pretty funny and/or insightful. I even reblogged the odd post.

And I wasn't all that vocal about any negative feelings I had towards him, because... well, frankly because a lot of the negative feelings I'd seen expressed by other people about him tended to look like "he's the devil incarnate, his work sucks, he's the worst person alive and he secretly hates every marginalised group and people should feel ashamed for sincerely liking his stuff."

And I didn't agree with that either! I didn't want to be roped in with those people. I didn't feel comfortable around them, any more than I felt comfortable around the Neil Gaiman Defense Squad, Working Tirelessly Day And Night To Aggressively Stamp Out Any Criticism Of Our Lord And Saviour.

And honestly I'm not entirely sure what kind of broader point I'm trying to articulate here, or whether I'm just working through stuff in my head. But I will say that this kind of polarising, zero-sum-game approach to criticism is... bad. It's just bad. It makes it so people are reluctant to put forward any kind of nuanced stance, for fear that they'll end up getting pigeonholed into one oversimplified category or another, or it ends up pushing people towards one extreme stance or another out of sheer frustration or contrariness. And it makes it incredibly difficult to have any kind of actually productive debate when it comes to criticising media, or criticising creators. Inevitably people's hackles are going to be up whichever side they lean towards more, and a lot of people with valuable input will inevitably end up going "yeah, I can see how that's a good point, but also the last person who brought this topic up with me deemed it appropriate to send me a barrage of messages telling me to kill myself about it, so forgive me if I'm not interested in engaging any further."

Obviously a culture of hero worship inevitably makes it a lot easier for predators to operate, and I have no doubt that being inundated with messages about how wonderful you are and how everyone who's criticising you is in the wrong must make it a lot easier to rationalise your actions. But I feel like this tendency to paint everything in terms of "are they a pure uwu blameless smol bean angel OR the devil incarnate" is incredibly unhelpful regardless of what side you come down on. The "devil incarnate" crowd can be part of the problem too.

[fumifooms]

Hi hi! I'm sure you have loads of asks to get through. But if you may, we talk a lot about Chilchuck and Marcille (as we should 'cause they're great!), but since you've mentioned that Laios is your fave char, I would love to hear if you have any takes on Laios and Izutsumi's dynamic. I feel sometimes like she doesn't really like him...? It's funny but I also feel bad for him sometimes. ^^;;

You can’t ask me this and expect me to not drop everything else I’m doing. Little did you know they are my brotp. They are so special. Izutsumi gets along more with literally everyone in the party, but their relationship was so narratively important. They’re a really underrated and overlooked dynamic! I’ve had them as a topic at the back of my mind for a while, seeing someone else interested was all the push I needed gdbdg. This isn’t super long though, their issues with each other and lil arc is surprisingly brief and easy to summarize.

Laios & Izutsumi : what’s their deal with each other

For me one foundational train of thought for Izutsumi & Laios is, well. I read this awesome smart post deconstructing how Izutsumi’s beef with Laios is because she only just broke free and wants freedom without having someone ordering her around, and that’s sort of her whole character arc, isn’t it?

Isn’t Izutsumi’s picky eating a reflection of just that? In a life where she was a slave, she could at least control what she chose to eat and not eat. But then you might wonder, why did the narrative want her to grow out of that? Simply put, Izutsumi has a contrarian streak, one that is often extremely counterproductive. We saw that especially near the beginning, with how hard it was to make her work with them as a team. The issue is that now that she is free, she needs to not block out others by habit, to not lash out and refuse the healthy things in life, the people who want good for her. And that’s something that’s addressed in the succubus chapter as well as the fight against the ice golem, that she shouldn’t insist that she can do everything alone and fight against any team effort.

I love how onesided the Laios izutsumi dynamic is. He stays away from her generally, like doesn’t interact much, but he wants the cat pats… Which Izu made clear she did NOT want. And Chil is the only one in the party to not really see her as a cat for most of the story really, as shown in the relationship chart. He’s well meaning and wants the best for her, but he crowds her and doesn’t understand her at all. But he reallyyy wants to get along with her.

On the other hand, Izutsumi’s very existence and identity gave Laios an immense amount of hope that Falin could be brought back and still be herself and live well, even if she still had part of a dragon’s soul in her. I think that’s a lovely way to contrast the way that Izutsumi hates herself as a beastkin and her body, while Laios is like "Thank you, your existence as you are is the answer to all my worries" AND he super likes monster bodies and beastkins so it’s like. I think part of her hostility to him, besides feeling like he doesn’t understand her perspective and is maybe dismissive of what his party members want (which would remind her of Maizuru to some degree probably), is that he says all these good things about her being a beastkin, and it’s so jarring with her own version of herself that it raises her hackles and she reacts negatively, especially with how flippant and eager he is about it. But yes like, this is their first meeting!! Beyond his interest in her as a beastkin because of his monster hobby, Laios is just so very grateful for her and chooses to put his trust in her.

That’s interesting too, how one of the first things she asks about upon meeting them is why the hell they would want to rescue Falin even if she were to stay as a chimera-beastkin and still have the dragon soul in her. It’s her asking "Who would want to stick with a beastkin?" thinking that there’s something fundamentally wrong with having two souls and it making you unlovable. And their differing views on monsters do make them clash

But ultimately he chills out about her, which ironically enough shows in the way that they don’t interact much- He gives her space, and accepts that the beastkin may not like him. BUT at the end of the day they have an incredible bond of trust- Laios asks Izutsumi to kill him if something goes wrong with the Winged Lion. Not only is that sort of an intimate request and act, but that means that he leaves it up to Izutsumi’s judgement as well to know if it went wrong and when to act. He doesn’t only trust her skills but also her decision making, despite how tough they’ve been on each other in the past. He’s giving her the ultimate role, the go ahead to make or break their plan and be the difference between saving or destroying the world. And the last tidbit of info we get on their relationship in canon is when she hides behind him because she’s shy- Certified having befriended the cat moment. She trusts him and sees him as a safe person! And by saying that she’s shy, he’s showing that he did end up understanding her and how she is.

No matter the rocky parts of their relationship, they still have a strong foundation to it and were great allies and road companions, one of the few persons that had each other’s back when it mattered the most, both for the world and for their personal arcs. And post-canon, well…

He’s accepted that she needs space and whatnot, and meanwhile she’s accepted his interest in monsters and taken it in stride 😌 They end up having this familiarity with each other and even if there’s still a bunch of emotional distance imo and they never really got into the nitty gritty with each other not like her with Chilchuck or even Marcille, they see each other. They nod in greeting and respect each other from afar……. But also still tease and chat familiarly up close and if she offers him the opportunity for cuddles he will take it. You know, if it’s not her just falling onto him because she’s sleeping she has no respect.

Siblings behavior… If you know my take on the general party dynamics, I love thinking of Laios & Izu’s dynamic as him being an older brother figure where they have a love-hate relationship. Siblings rivalry. I have a bunch of funny little doodles I’ve wanted to make with them for months, the prompts for which are in the screenshot put below. But yeah like you know, they’re protective of each other but in that very critical way as well, truly forged by being stuck with each other for a while and having to come to understand and accept how the other is. Strife with conflict, but ultimately sticking with each other through thick and thin… Siblings siblings SIBLINGS SIBLINGS SIBLINGS. Sigh I just want them to cuddle on a couch and she purrs while simultaneously being snide and mean to him, they are so… Izutsumi is the character ever

Oh, which! While I’m here, I always recommend this fanfic about the two of them interacting and Laios treating her like a cat, it’s just fun and lighthearted. They’re suuuuch an underrated duo

If I find more Laios & Izu moments I think are worth sharing I’ll just add it onto this I think. We shouldn’t be too hard on him he was raised by dogs so cats are a whole other language to him but also, so wild to me that he never tried to engage with her on a cat level properly like where is the hissing at the catgirl and the cat taming moments, he sucks at socializing with cats smh smh.

I want to do an analysis of queerness in Dungeon Meshi with relationships and social norms and stuff and Izutsumi’s arc is gonna be central to that too. Her relationship with EVERYONE is SOOO GOOD AND IMPORTANT AND COMPELLING. But I guess this is where I leave it off for now, I hope I’m not forgetting any point I wanted to make hmmm