#like obviously it was hell many years ago but nowadays

[bubtans]

i literally feel so much more at peace here holy shit twitter is awful

[silverzoomies]

Imagine quickie rails u so good u squirt but you’re low key embarrassed bc that’s never happened before but he talks you through it so sweetly and so hornily bc he obviously finds it the hottest thing in the world and he’s kinda obsessed with the fact that you just did that bc of him

…..yeah I need to know what he’s like talking you through it …….

anon, i'm so sorry. i dunno if this is what you were expecting. but i went a little off the rails. i haven't actually sat down and written anything in fifty gajillion years. apologies in advance if i'm super duper rusty. you're a doll, by the way. thanks for the inspiration !! this ask had me red in the face all over again !! 🤍 here's a short drabble for ya 🤍🤍🤍

In the boring emptiness of some secret, government research facility, soft squeals call out with ecstasy.

Hold that thought.

Aren’t you supposed to be on patrol?

🤍

Since the OG X-Men were busy with more important endeavors (another fancy gala. Huge snore fest), Xavier took it upon himself to recruit some newbie trainees. He sent three of them to a top secret facility. Super below radar. The building sat far away from the bustle of society, hidden at an off-the-record base.

It’s around one AM when Quicksilver himself finally crashes your boring, patrol party. He zips through the entire building, scouting the area; before checking in on the trainees. After sending the other two off on their twenty minute breaks, he soon finds you.

A newbie he’s far more acquainted with. In more ways than one.

But not as many as he’d like.

You look bored as hell sitting there by yourself, swirling in a swivel chair. A series of CCTV screens flicker before you. But you barely pay them any attention. Keeping your head down, clipboard on your lap; you doodle all over a security protocol sheet. Your legs kick in a childlike way.

Your first, official mission is the most lame of X-Men operations. But even despite that, you appear to be in high spirits. Peter’s almost jealous. The first time he joined up with the team, all he got out of it was a lousy, broken leg.

Anyway, you’re cute and all. But…don’t you have a job to do, you slacker?

Peter leans against the doorway, his hands nestled in the pockets of his silver, bomber jacket. Beady eyes watch you through the lenses of his goggles. His earphones hang around his neck. A quiet jam resonates from them. But you're so mesmerized by your doodling, you don't even notice.

In a flash, Peter makes his presence known. Big hands grab your shoulders hard. He leans in to whisper sternly in your ear. His voice vibrates, robust and quaking in an attempt to spook you.

“GOTCHA! Annnnnnnd, yer dead, kid! Mwahahaha!”

You swivel around in an instant. Hopping from your seat, you raise your hands in defense. Jeez! Peter's caught off guard by how quickly you react. Blinding beams of golden light burst from your palms. The same glow floods your eyes. You hurl scorching hot rays in Peter's direction.

Well…shit.

Thanks to Xavier's mad training skills, Peter's a little faster than light nowadays. And he's ultra lucky for it. Had you raised your hands and gone pew pew pew so many years ago - he probably would've charred to a crisp right then and there. 

“Damn! You got some killer aim! That was a close call.” He whistles. Peter gawks at the holes seared into the wall, straight through some ruined blueprints. A smirk plays on his lips. He gestures at the damage with a thumb, “Eh, they probably got backups ‘a those lyin’ around, right?”

Your only response is an affectionate eye roll. But Peter notes the curl at the corner of your mouth as you try not to smile. 

Screw it. You're pretty fun. Why doesn't he hang with you for a bit? He's probably got some time to kill. At least before Chuck realizes the speedster isn't dressed to the nines, bored out of his mind at the gala.

The two of you goof off for a few minutes. As you doodle, Peter looms over your seat. Watching the CCTV screens with a ready eye, he teases you about your lack of focus on the job. You're just such a supreme newbie, he can't help it.

To which you respond with a counterpoint - isn't he the reigning champion of getting sidetracked?

Touché, little newbie. Touché.

Boredom quickly makes him antsy. And being antsy has Peter's brain reaching for any stimulation he can find. Pacing the room, Peter casts subtle glances at your figure in tactical clothing. Hot damn. Black really does highlight your most bodacious assets.

Amidst casual conversation, Peter shamelessly flirts with you. And when you flirt back, he isn’t all that fazed. The two of you are always making saucy passes at one another. Horny topics of discussion happen more often than they should. You once poured your heart out for twenty minutes, complaining that you couldn’t squirt when you got off. Part of him took this confession as a challenge.

Peter never forgot how sexually charged the energy of that night was.

Or…maybe it wasn’t? Maybe you just wanted to vent to someone who would listen. Yeah. He’s probably uber delusional. That ‘energy’ might’ve come from the sunbeams radiating in your genes.

Sure. Nothing sexual.

But if that’s the case, why else are you giving him bedroom eyes - if not ‘cuz you really wanna bone?

Expelling a bland sigh, Peter leans back against the console where the CCTV screens are. He bounces a random ball he swiped from a researcher’s desk. Flirtatious teasing continues back and forth, remaining casual.

Until Peter makes a needlessly suggestive comment.

“I’m just sayin’. Picture this, ‘kay? You ‘n me, goin’ at it like there’s no tomorrow. Pretty sure I’d get you off in under, say, three minutes er less. That’s not a promise, it’s a fact.”

Throwing you a sly look, Peter smirks payfully. He bounces the ball again.

“Pshh. Not fast enough.” You mumble.

Peter’s dark gaze leers at you from under his brows.

Oh. Oh no, you didn't just...

His eyes fire across each CCTV screen, double checking for any unwanted visitors. All clear, it’s go time. Moving swiftly, he props you up on a nearby desk. At record speed - before you can begin to comprehend his impossibly fast actions - he crams six inches of girthy, speedster cock inside you. All without any warning.

In hindsight, maybe he shouldn’t have been so impulsive. But in the microsecond it took him to move your body and pull your pants off, at the very least; he had the courtesy to prep you with his fingers. And now, you’re coming undone as he jackhammers your cunt. Peter rolls into you in a blur of silver motion. Your walls clench perfectly over his cock.

You protest through shallow moans, “W-Wait! Oh my g-...too fast, Peter! Too fast!”

The tips of his fingers circle your clit, the vibrations shattering your moans. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you bring him closer. Peter shivers as your pussy squeezes him so tight. It’s an outrageously awesome sensation that drives him to drill his dick deeper. Tilting forward, he groans, his lips grazing yours.

“Y’think I can make you squirt like this?” He chuckles, his throat bobbing as he swallows down a moan.

You shake your head wildly, whimpering the softest, “Noooooo! I told you already, I cannnnn’t!”

“Huh? What’s that, cutie? Aw. Too bad. ‘Cuz I’m not gunna slow down ‘til you do.” Peter teases, looking over his shoulder at the CCTV screens. He smirks crookedly, “Better be quick. Yer teammates’re gunna be back soon.”

You tip your head back as you whine again. Peter ruts into you so inexplicably fast, his pace renders your lungs useless. His fingers keep torturing your clit, guiding your pearl in a whirring dance of speedy buzzes. You shudder, clawing into his arms as your hips move on instinct. 

Speeding the rhythm of his thrusts, Peter furrows his brows. His cock pulses when he watches your tits bounce in your shirt. He bites his lip to stifle a whimper. Below him, you try to call his name. But his powerful movements rupture your pretty voice. “Hell yeah, gorgeous. That’s it. Don’t hold back, ‘kay? Just let it happen. Gunna cum, pretty girl? C’mon, ya gotta cum for me. You can do it. C’mon.” He begs, his tone a little closer to a whine.

Not even two minutes into sexing you up, he has you gushing a spritz of luscious heat. Score. He'll be thinking about this sexy success for weeks. The corners of your eyes leak hot tears, as a rapturous orgasm overtakes you. The entire, lower half of your body tightens, muscles clenching. Your pussy pops with a juicy burst. Leaking down your thighs and ass, your slick coats his twitchy cock.

He kisses you, his breath burning hot, “Doin’ so good, princess. So good for me. Was that fast enough for you? Hmm? Oh, fuck. I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-”

Pulling his soaked length free, he showers your tummy in virile, white jets. Leaning over you, Peter laughs again, exhaling a long sigh of elation. His lips capture yours, drinking in your kisses for a few beats. He feels his heart twist with satisfaction. All at the awesome notion that he drove you to such an intimate, breaking point.

“How’s that for a quickie?” He teases with a cheeky grin, winking down at you.

Your blinky eyes gaze over his shoulder, looking somewhat dazed. Beneath him, you stir in place. You’re trying to say something. But you’re so braindead from the totally slammin’ orgasm he gave you, the words won’t happen.

But then, Peter notices the way your glazed hues narrow. That vibrant, golden glow from earlier returns. Sitting up on an elbow, you raise a hand to point at the CCTV screens behind him. Oh, you probably saw someone on cam. Peter’s dark gaze widens. A sudden beam of light pulsates at the tip of your finger.

“NO, NO, NO, NO-” He starts.

Too late. The golden flash fires like a speeding bullet from your fingertip, colliding into the screens. A powerful burst shatters the entire CCTV setup on impact. Electric static buzzes amongst broken glass and fried wires. Peter sighs, looking over his shoulder, then back down at your cute face.

“Babe, seriously? Now’s not the time to be tryin’ interior decorating!” He rolls his eyes, playing ignorant to your shared romp in the research lab, “Hold that thought...aren’t you supposed to be on patrol?”

[queenwille]

heyy uhhh where are there so many posts about palestians asking for help finding clean water and getting out of palestine and showing pictures of their bombed homes and the corpses of children, but all the israeli "help me" posts are just like. Black eyes. And bruises.

And how the palestian posts are all new and constant and every single day, but all of the TOTALLY CORRECT REAL JEWS can talk about is that one time they got hit by a bomb. The one time, the one date. Oct 7. You know, that one time? That one time after 75 years? One? As in singular enough that it's the only "massacre" date of israelis that I can find?

But meanwhile, Palestinians are posting about new massacres every week? New dead children, new names to a list of tens of thousands.

can you help explain that? I'm confused

of course i can, here to help as always.

the photos you are speaking of are the photos of our hostages. sounds like you specifically mean these:

or maybe the one of Hersh missing one arm, idk.

all of these were taken back in october 2023. all of them and are the last pictures their families have of them. why? we ask the same actually.

the main difference between the pictures/posts you see online of palestinians and these is pretty simple. the palestinian aren’t held captive, they have their phones and are free to post as they wish (tho do watch out, as most of those gofundmes are scammers that have nothing to do with the issue even). those girls aren’t free, that’s literally all we have of them.

there are horrible pictures of people hurt from missiles and such inside of israel (there were two from magdal shamash) that find their way to the web, but it’s mostly illegal in israel and more importantly, considered very unethical, to publish graphic photos from horror scenes. even more so if it’s possible to identify the person hurt. i’m not sure how and when it was established, but i do know somewhere in the back of my mind that it was an issue back in the 2nd intifada, i think, where horrifying photographs where broadcasted on live television very quickly. beside being very traumatic and seen by children and such, families identified their loved ones that way and it was very problematic. nowadays it obviously can be seen on social media sometimes, but even so, it’s considered unethical unless approved by the family and censorship laws (and then it’s published legally on national TV as well), so people widely avoid that.for example, an IDF soldier was actually sent to a military trail a few weeks ago for sending his friends a video from a truck with the bodies of 5 rescued hostages. he was proud of the rescue and meant no harm, but as the israeli population is very small, its considered very unethical and illegal to so.

lastly, october 7th wasn’t one isolated attack, yeah? many many, TOO MANY, people, including civilians were killed since and before that. this is a very bloody conflict. we mention october 7th as a day when all hell broke loose. the brutality, the horror, the acts that were preformed there were unspeakable. those were no acts of resistance or war, those were pure acts against humanity. why do we mention them so much? cause we’re still there, even if the world doesn’t care anymore, even if no one believes it, even if the world doesn’t think it was that bad. we’re there, with so many people not back in their homes, missiles still fired daily, people knifed on the streets, so many people still in duty and not back to their lives and most importantly… with 115 men, women, a child that had his 5th birthday yesterday and a 1.5 year old baby still held captive. it’s not even the fact that we can’t, because even with the ones we know for sure that are gone, it’s considered mandatory in judaism to respect the dead and do whatever it takes to bring him or her to a proper jewish burial back at home, but it’s also the fact that we won’t. no man or woman are left behind. the hamas (and others btw, keep hiding our people behind human shields and y’all keep hyping them up, so it’s a never ending cycle). it might sound like a dumb cliche to y’all, but with being such a small community, all of those hostages are our family members as well.

[asurrogateblog]

I'm trying to learn how to use music software, and I learn best by just throwing myself into things, so I played around in garageband and recorded a demo of a song. there's really only one thing on my mind nowadays so when I wrote the lyrics...it kind of turned into "this is obviously secretly a Pink Floyd fan song". I call it "Lucy Left"

(lyrics below the cut)

Lucy Left

I made a deal with heaven Turned ashes into diamonds Never really could tell anyway

But then I opened my eye A shard fell down from the sky And then I knew just what hell I had paid

I see sunflowers burning Jasmine and jade are turning Cellophane days to Kaleidoscope nights

Don’t think I feel much better Descending like a feather Didn’t know the heart of the sun Was so bright

Too late to make it right How could it go so wrong? Am I eluding you? You’ll miss me when I’m gone

Umbrella in the breeze The acid rain fell slow The game was set to play So many years ago

I know that you’ll go far I raised that bell to ring You think you’re happy now? You think you’re interesting?

I dream in color now Any you like will do You look right through my eyes Am I a joke to you?

I made a deal with heaven Turned ashes into diamonds Never really could tell anyway

But don’t forget who I am One day you’ll turn and listen And you’ll remember where the echo began

[friend-of-a-cat]

I love Etrian Odyssey. It's one of my all-time favourite game series, and I've devoted a hell of a lot of time to it, both playing the games and creating my own little stories surrounding it on the side. But the overarching lore has always been confusing to me, especially since I, embarassingly, haven't finished a single game (I, sadly, struggle to finish games in general, nowadays). I like bringing characters from one installment to another, deciding that they continued to adventure after the events of their game had finished, but, in doing so, I accidently warped the timeline - or what little information we have about the timeline, at least. EO5 is apparently a prequel to the rest of the games in the series, set eons before EO1, but, considering I have characters from my EO5 guild in my Nexus one, this doesn't really make any logical sense. I want my little guys from EO5 to still be alive and kicking in Nexus! So I decided to rewrite the lore and reform the timeline to suit the way I play the games, because why not? Most of it is the same, and I've probably left out some crucial details, however I have tweaked some things and given certain plot points more weight, as I felt it made more sense that way. Also, I kind of just want a place for myself that has an entire breakdown of the lore, so this is partially that, too.

So, I present (with, obviously, a spoiler warning):

Etrian Odyssey: My Version of Events!

~~~

Eons ago, a race of alien beings known as the Arken explored the universe, hopping from planet to planet to rebuild ecosystems after various factors left them destroyed, one such factor being an insidious, power-hungry entity known as the Abyssal God, who, after settling on a planet, would spawn an invasive species, taking it over. In order to help restore each desolate planet, the Arken planted special trees known as Yggdrasil Trees, which allowed life to thrive in the surrounding areas. On their mission to revitalise the universe, the Arken found a planet void of life, ruled over another cruel being known as the Eternal Tyrant. This planet, unbeknownst to them, was Mars, and the Arken, true to their actions up until this point, wanted to save it. They planted another Yggdrasil Tree, temporarily imprisoning the Eternal Tyrant in a giant biodome in the planet's stratosphere to allow the sapling to grow and purify the world.

People on Earth, thousands of years later, deployed ships to Mars after discovering it was actually inhabitable due to the giant tree residing on its surface. Earth was in bad shape, and had been ravaged by the effects of climate change and nuclear war - many felt the need to escape in order to be able to continue living life. These people would go on to live on Mars for generations, mutating into different but still human-adjacent races due to the tree, which had interesting effects on them. Those left behind on Earth still attempted survival, although onerously. The ruler and wealthy citizens of the nation of Lagaard decided to construct a floating city, which they retreated to in order to escape the hardships and danger of life down below. The commonfolk stayed in the capital city, trying to make do with what they had.

During this time, the Abyssal God landed on Earth, fleeing from the pursuit another Yggdrasil Tree. This tree, unlike the rest created by the Arken, was sentient, and was made specifically to find and destroy the Abyssal God, as the race wanted to end its reign of chaos and destruction. The Abyssal God managed to find refuge under one of Earth's oceans, spawning a race later known as the Deep Ones in order to start a war with the remaining humans and wipe out the planet, though it was quickly stopped by the Yggdrasil Tree, which trapped it beneath its roots. The tree was able to contact the ruler of the nearby city of Armoroad for assistance, and he agreed to sink parts of the area in order to help fight off the rest of the Deep Ones who were not sealed. These sunken parts of Armoroad were later known as the Deep City. With the help of the tree, the ruler gained access to great technology, allowing the city to prosper further, and created an army of intelligent robots to fend off the evil creatures, later uploading his and his followers' consciences to them in order to achieve immortality and continue neutralising the looming threat.

A while later, researchers and scientists investigated this strange tree and were surprised to find that it helped restore the nearby environment, purifying the air and allowing life to thrive. Full of hope, they decided to take samples to artificially reproduce similar trees across the rest of the dying planet. This was dubbed the Yggdrasil Project, and they were able to cultivate seven more trees, which helped cleanse many areas of the world. All of them, however, affected the environment and people around them in strange ways over the centuries, just as the tree on Mars did: mutating humans, flora and fauna; spawning other creatures; and growing out of control. In order to continue maintaining the trees, those working on the project created artificial races able to withstand their unpredictable nature. They also implemented kill switches that would destroy each tree if they spiralled out of hand. The Yggdrasil Tree near the city of Tharsis began corrupting itself during this time, mutating into a being known as Heavenbringer, which spread a disease called the Titan's Curse, causing plants to grow within any affected creature, slowly killing them. As such, the kill switch in this tree, know later as the Insatiable Pupa, became corrupted, too. After several containment failures, which left many dead, it was finally sealed, and those in Tharsis managed to stop the tree in its wake, teaming up with the servitor races to bring a new era of peace. A scientist and pioneer of the Lagaardian branch of the Yggdrasil Project, who was now attempting to obtain immortality, discovered the remains of an ancient floating city, once home to his ancestors, and was able to rebuild it, escaping to the skies above the tree in order to continue his experiments. Most of them failed, creating monstrosities, and so he turned to experimenting on himself, which resulted in his genes mutating and him turning into a monstrosity, too.

Hundreds of years passed, and researchers and scientists in the nation of Lemuria were intrigued by the fully-grown trees, and took further samples from each one, grafting a bigger tree in their nation's centre. This tree produced greater results than all the others - taking on aspects from its predecessors and spreading to each surrounding island - and became a safe haven for many in the surrounding wasteland, as well as those travelling across the seas. As such, the area became overpopulated, and the Lemurian king decided to stop accepting refugees. This sparked a war with the Seafarers, who took his words as a declaration of war, invading and attacking the nation. In retaliation, the Lemurians developed a weapon to repel the invading forces, which backfired and caused immense destruction, killing everyone not of Lemurian blood. This weapon was sealed away under the tree by a Lemurian princess, who died in the process, and the rest of the royal family fled the scene for reasons unknown.

Sometime during all of this, the Arken checked in on Mars and found that it was thriving and populated, its people living in a realm called Arcania, which was split into four main nations: Melas, Sidonia, the Bloodwood Forest, and the Chryse Prairie. They also realised that the Eternal Tyrant's seal was waning, and so, in order to stop it from ravaging the planet a second time, they blended in with the masses and began spreading false legends to the planet's people (obfuscating the threat so as to not send everyone into a panic), which were then passed down through generations, spurring on the Arcanians to explore the labyrinth that had grown within the tree and, ultimately, destroy the entity for good. Gathering in and journeying from the city of Iorys, adventurers delved into the labyrinth, discovering that it housed danger and destruction despite maintaining life on the planet. Those on Earth, too, made a similar discovery, realising that the Yggdrasil Trees invited their own share of disaster due to their alien and unpredictable nature. They obviously wanted to explore these tree labyrinths, too, so they did, setting up adventuring guilds and sending teams of explorers and researchers in to find out more. The people of both planets also happened upon a certain kind of magical energy, which came to be because of the trees. Those on Mars discovered this earlier than those on Earth, however. This magical energy was enhanced and condensed by scientists in order to be used by others, mostly in the form of magical tools and weapons. Certain individuals also developed innate pools of magical energy due to a genetic mutation from the trees, which was passed on to future generations, and were able to train themselves to harness it.

Hundreds of years later, the events of EO1, 2, 3 and 4 happen, all sequentially and within a similar timeframe. Explorers from across the world filtered into the cities of Etria, High Lagaard, Armoroad and Tharsis, and were able to uncover the history of the planet; its people; the trees; the labyrinths; and the Yggdrasil Project during their expeditions, documentation of which had been mostly lost to time at this point.

Years later, the events of EO5 happened. Those on Mars, who, at this point in time, had forgotten all about Earth, learned of its existence thanks to a certain adventuring guild, who managed to climb their way to the top of the Yggdrasil Tree's labyrinth and enter the biodome, meeting an Arken along the way who informed them of the Eternal Tyrant, as well as their race's plan to help revitalise dead or dying planets across the universe. The guild was able to defeat the evil entity, and were also told of another, curious planet, which had somehow created its own Yggdrasil Trees, yet still needed help in its restoration. This planet was Earth. Despite Arcania's development of advanced technology, of which was far greater than Earth's, they had not attempted space travel, their focus fixed on their own planet. The people of Earth, too, had no way of traversing space, as all knowledge of this was lost to time, and so were unaware that there were beings living on Mars, or that Mars was terraformed at all. The Arken sent fleets of ships to Mars in order to transport those who wished to travel to Earth, which were wiped out by a god-like being known as the Star Devourer. This entity also wiped out several other Arken fleets, as well as much of their home planet, and was headed towards Mars. The newly-famed guild managed to defeat it, and was met with immense gratitude from the Arkens, who resumed their plan and sent more ships over as a means of reaching Earth.

Many Arcanians travelled there, indeed finding life on the planet. They also discovered that they were able to breathe fine due to the Yggdrasil Trees on Earth stemming from those the Arken created, including the one on Mars. The people of Earth were shocked when they spotted fleets of ships headed towards them, but many held out hope that they were on their way to help. Over the proceeding years, the Arcanians assimilated into Earth's society, despite being alien. Of course, many people on Earth were frightened of them, but due to the fact they appeared human - or, at least, in some cases, human enough - and displayed similarities to many of the mutated humans already on Earth, they were mostly fine to coexist with them. Those from Mars offered many unique perspectives on things, and became fast-famed inventors, scientists, architects, teachers and artisans. Many joined explorers' guilds, as they had prior experience in adventuring, cartography and combat.

Then, one day, word is spread of a descendant of the Lemurian royal family, who is attempting to bolster the support of the masses to finally explore the Lemurian Yggdrasil Tree, believing it holds a treasure that brings eternal prosperity. This tree and, subsequently, it's labyrinth, had gone unexplored for a quite a long time, and many researchers, scientists and adventurers were keen to uncover its secrets. Thus, many people banded together with the descendant to create the floating city of Maginia, which was built fairly quickly and was only made possible due to the Arcanians' vast knowledge of advanced technology. The descendant was crowned its princess, and lead the expedition with many explorers - new and old - in tow.

~~~

Now my little guys can coexist without the need for time travel! All of my EO guilds and such will be in this modified universe (which means everyone in my EO5 guild are still around in EON). I also feel like this version of events makes more sense to me, especially with EO5 happening before EON, because not only can you pick from every available portrait in the series in that game, but there are classes from EO5, too, that I feel like wouldn't be in there unless it happened not too long beforehand. Honestly, the main issue with this timeline of events is that people would probably be freaking out that a bunch of people came down from Mars and are now just... living with them? And most of them accept this? Unrealistic. Also, I had no idea the EON tree was actually grafted from the rest of the trees, hence why its labyrinth bears similaries with their's - I completely made this plot point up, and then upon further research, realised that that is actually what happened. So there you go.

I better go finish the games, now.

[wisecrackingeric-2]

Reposting some fics for @serennedyweek that would’ve worked for Day 1 but I opted to go for fanart instead!!!!

Day 1: Domestic!!

Summary:

Set ten years after the events of Resident Evil 4; Luis and Leon have been in a long-term relationship and finally decided to have a Son.

Only Luis finds out that being a Father reminds him of his a Grandfather more than he was expecting.

So one night when their Son wakes up crying, Luis decides to take it upon himself to comfort both himself his baby.

Fic under Cut!!

Luis wasn’t usually a light sleeper.

At least, he didn’t think he was. Not until he had his own child, that is.

Most nights nowadays were spent sandwiched against Leon or Chris- Whoever was home at the time- With his back facing their chests, and their arms draped protectively over his shoulders. Usually accompanied by one or the others’ legs being entangled between Luis’, too.

The two of them usually came home late, and if Luis wasn’t awake, they’d slip under the covers with him wordlessly- Knowing that they’d probably be forced to wake up earlier than their boyfriend in the morning, anyways.

But Luis didn’t mind. He never minded; Putting up with their grouchy, sleep-deprived attitudes and their constant old-married-couple back and forth banter was more than reasonable for him. Especially after everything.

August 2004 felt like a lifetime ago now. So much had changed and so many years passed that it was impossible for Luis to look back and feel any connection towards the man he once was.

He remembered- extremely vividly- lying on that cold, hard concrete and practically begging for Leon to tell him he was a good person during what he was convinced were his final moments. His mouth was full of blood and he could hardly keep a cigarette between his lips, let alone light it.

He’d asked Leon, in an act of desperation, ‘ What do you think, Leon? People can change, right?’

It was a desperate plea for forgiveness. He wanted to change so badly yet he always still retraced those same habits that got him in that position in the first place. He thought back to his Grandfather in his ‘dying’ moments; And he wondered if he’d be ashamed or proud.

But Leon had saved him regardless. In every way a person could be saved. Not only did he literally shove some kind of miscellaneous herb into his mouth and pick him up to drape his bloody body over his shoulders- But once they’d arrived back in the USA, Leon did everything in his power to make sure Luis didn’t slip into that self-deprecating cycle of guilt and self-pity he seemed to be oh-so familiar with.

Leon proved to Luis that people could change. And not only that, but people were deserving of love regardless of what they have done.

Luis loved Leon in a way that was so undeniably human and raw and vulnerable it almost hurt at times.

The pair of them couldn’t keep their eyes- or hands- off of each other.

Then Luis was introduced to Chris Redfield; Big, friendly, puppydog-like Chris Redfield who so painfully obviously had the biggest crush on Leon it made Luis feel like he was going insane. The two of them would stammer and blush and shift their weight awkwardly every single time they were alone; And, hell, Luis would be lying if he said he didn’t find the guy attractive as all hell. So they approached him about the possibility of Polyamory;

And here they all were, ten years later, so ingrained and fixed in each other's lives that they practically couldn’t be seen apart from one another. Their day-to-day was so domestic- so routine- And Luis wouldn’t have had it any other way.

If you had asked him ten years ago where he thought he’d be in life, his answer would probably be dead.

Past-Luis probably couldn’t have even fathomed being so unabashedly loved, so unashamedly domestic and genuinely happy.

Was he always happy? No, far from it, in fact. There were plenty of nights where he still felt the ghost of Krauser's knife holed in his spine, or the squirming Plagas inside of his chest like a ghost limb. Sometimes his face still grew hot from the memories of his Grandfather burning alive in his childhood home. He found it hard to fall asleep by himself sometimes- So Leon and Chris would always make an effort to comfort him. One of them would be pressed up against his back, and the other laying across his chest. Reminding him with their physical bodies that he was Ok.

Tonight was exactly one of those nights; Luis had been tossing and turning in his sleep relentlessly since he got home and shed himself of his usual Lab coat. Although the agreement with the US government was that he’d tag along with Leon on missions, he found himself working in the Labs with Rebecca more often than not- And of course, that eventually turned into a full-time job after Leon had finally retired.

Still, though, Luis came home later than expected. And the days stress weighing down on him seemed to trigger some deep-seeded memories from his childhood that he’d rather not forget.

That seemed to usually be his brain's go-to trauma response, at least; ‘Flash some memories of your Grandfather while you try to sleep and you’ll be A-OK’.

Luis couldn’t remember when he had made it to his bed- Nor could he remember when Leon had slipped under the sheets beside him- But he hardly slept regardless. He tried counting sheep and snuggling into his partner's embrace; but nothing helped. There wasn’t even anything specific that was causing this lack of sleep. He just.. Couldn’t. He just had to let his brain replay memories of his childhood with his Grandfather like an awfully cruel movie.

So when the sound of his Son’s crying filled the air in an ear-piercing scream, Luis was already prepared and sitting up on his elbows before Leon had even stirred awake.

“ I’ll go get the baby,”

Luis whispered, leaning over to kiss Leon on the temple of his head before forcing himself up straight.

His voice was husky and gravelly, and despite having been awake for at least a few hours his limbs were all still too stiff to avoid a popping noise when they stretched.

Leon responded with a quiet ‘ hhhhrmmphhh’ before he shuffled back down under the covers, pressing the ends of his blanket up to his ears in an attempt to drown out the baby’s crying.

Luis just huffed a laugh at the sorry sight of his tired partner and got up on his feet with a groan.

Standing up to exit their shared bedroom, Luis did his best to tie up his long, graying salt-and-pepper hair in a messy half-ponytail with the hair tie he always insisted on having wrapped around his wrists. Years ago, Luis had insisted to Leon that ‘He wasn’t trying to grow his hair out, he just didn't trust the barbers’.

But ten years later with his hair reaching his mid-back at this point, that was obviously a lie. Besides, Luis liked it like this; From what he could remember, his Grandfather always kept his hair long, so it was sentimental in a weird way.

“ Loooeeeeesss….”

Leon reached an arm out from beneath the blankets to grab at his’, blue eyes blinking slowly to try and adjust to the light.

“ Mwhere are you goin’ love…?”

“I just told you,” Luis chuckled, “I’m gonna go put Matteo back to sleep”

Leon made a noise of protest and tried to sit up from underneath his sheets, pulling Luis in closer by the arm.

“ Nonono, don’ get up, I can go get him..”

“ Sssshhhh, just go back to bed mí amor,”

Luis gently pushed Leon back down onto his pillow with one hand, leaning over to press a sleepy kiss against his lips.

“I was already up. You just go back to sleep, sí?”

The blonde huffed a reluctant sigh but still sunk back under the covers regardless. His lips were pursed in a little pout as he let go of Luis’ hand.

“But you’re always up to get him. Y’know I’m happy to do it once ‘n a while, right?”

Luis paused for a moment, biting his lip as he tried to figure out how he should respond. Leon was half-asleep, a quarter of the way to being absolutely dead to the world; but he was still right.

Luis was always the one to go put Matteo back to bed when he woke up screaming like this.

He always insisted that Chris or Leon stay in bed, go back to sleep; And tonight was no exception. But being faced with the question he suddenly found that he couldn’t actually figure out why.

Luis always just assumed that it was the least he could do in return. Chris and Leon, despite being ‘retired’, were still constantly called into the office or on smaller Ops- Sometimes for days at a time, even. And while Luis had his day job with Rebecca in the labs, they were much more forgiving when it came to time off.

His two lovers had given him the entire world, in his mind. They’d given him a space to live and to grow as a person and they’d given him more love than any other human being had ever shown him; and most importantly, they gave him the opportunity to be a Father. They all were.

He got the opportunity of a lifetime to look after someone just as his Grandfather had looked after him.

So maybe Luis just wanted to repay them in some way.

They always insisted he didn’t need to do that; that him just being there was more than enough.

But that nagging voice in the back of his head never left, no matter how hard he tried.

“I know…”

Was all Luis could respond with, his voice a little deflated in defeat.

“Just… Just let me do this for you, just this once. ¿Ok, cariño?”

“Okay…” Leon yawned, his voice still slightly reluctant as he snuggled his face further into the pillow. And like a light, he was out within seconds.

Luis smiled and huffed a breath of air through his nose at the sight of his sleepy partner. With one final ruffle of his blonde hair, Luis was snapped back to reality when he heard his Son wailing once more from upstairs.

Luis made his way up to the second floor with a slouched posture and dragging feet; he slipped his reading glasses on somewhere half-way up, and was thoroughly greeted by the high-pitched cries of his baby the second the door creaked open.

Matteo’s room was simple; It didn’t need to be very big, after all (And even so, it was bigger than Luis’ old childhood room with his Grandfather.)

The walls were covered in pastel blue-and-pink flowers painted on courtesy of Ashley one weekend, and the roof was littered in pale blue, glow-in-the-dark stars.

Matteo's cot sat tucked up against the wall, and stuffed toys littering the floor where they must’ve slipped off and landed in a maze-like heap. Luis could just barely make out his Son’s silhouette against the bars of the cot;

And Luis’ heart promptly shattered into a million pieces when he saw Matteo reach out his little baby-arms into the sky at the sound of his entering the room.

Luis skilfully stepped over the pile of toys laying across his floor, before pressing a gentle hand against the wooden bars of Matteo’s cot.

Just as expected, the baby had kicked his blankets off- Probably the cause of his screaming- And had his tiny hands balled up in even tinier fists as big, fat tears fell down his chubby cheeks.

Luis cooed in an attempt to keep himself from crying.

“ Ssssshhhhh… ¿ver? Estoy aquí, Teo…���

His words were more for soothing himself rather than the baby as he felt his voice grow wobbly at the sight. Ever since ‘Teo’ was born, Luis became an absolute crybaby- Chris and Leon teased him about it constantly, but never in a mean-spirited way.

Seeing his Son in any kind of discomfort felt worse than any knife to the back ever could; His heart squeezed and all he wanted to do was wipe away those tears forever and never let go of his little boy until he was smiling and laughing again. He wanted to hold and cradle him every second of the day- and if he could, he would.

‘ You’re always hogging our son’, Leon had teased one day, watching Luis bounce their kid against his hip. From beside him, Chris reached over to give Matteo a kiss on the cheek.

‘ Yeah, you never let us hold him’

‘¡Tu idiotas! You can hold him if you want!’ Luis had responded, feeling a little guilty. But his partner's laughter confirmed it was only a joke.

‘ Ignore us, Luis. Teo likes it more when you hold him anyways’

‘He likes it more when you guys tuck him into bed’, Luis had offered, earning laughter from Leon, whose index finger was being held tightly by Teo’s little hands.

Luis was promptly broken out of his trip down memory lane by another sharp, high-pitched scream out of Matteo’s mouth, and although Luis did his best to soothe his Son by rubbing the pads of his thumb across his reddened and tear-stained chubby cheeks- It was no use. Matteo kept screaming and grabbing his hands out into the air, trying to reach for Luis’ long locks.

Through the screaming, Luis couldn’t help but chuckle a little; Teo was always grabbing onto his hair one way or another. He figured it must’ve been some kind of self-comforting baby thing, so he just let him. Matteo hardly ever pulled at it, anyways. He just kinda… held on.

No matter how hard Luis tried to sway his baby boy back to sleep from above the cot, it was all for naught. He just kept crying and wailing, and the longer it went on, the more Luis couldn’t handle seeing his Son in tears like this.

So against his better judgment, Luis cupped his hands underneath his small back and lifted him up with a small ‘ There we go…��, cupping the baby’s head inbetween his hand and elbow, firmly grasping onto his leg with the other.

Luis had very quickly figured out that the usual bouncing and ‘there-there’s did not work on his Son. The motion only served to make his crying worse generally, so the brunette resorted to- extremely softly- rocking Matteo back and forth in his arms.

That only worked for a couple moments before Teo was back to wailing again. This time slightly quieter, Luis noted to himself victoriously. He silently wondered if he ever cried as much when his Grandfather took care of him.

He couldn’t tell if he was just tired and therefor had his emotions dialed up to 100 (You know what they say; Never trust your brain past 10:00 PM) Or if he was genuinely upset by his Son’s crying, but Luis felt practically desperate to get him to stop. He didn’t even care about the noise; Just seeing his little bundle of joy’s face all scrunched up and wet from big, fat tears rolling down his face was infinitely more worrying to him than the noise.

So, as gently as possible, Luis bought Matteo up to his face, and after pressing his delicate little forehead against his, Luis started to place feather-light kisses against his baby’s skin. He placed them so tenderly that his own skin tingled from the sensation. As if Matteo was made from porcelain.

And to Luis, he may as well have been.

Every tiny action, every small breath was met with internal cringing- Luis was so self-conscious of just how unfathomably small Matteo was that even just brushing his nose up against the baby’s was enough to make his heart squeeze in worry.

But, at least there was one bright side; Matteo was slowly starting to quieten down his wailing. Every pillowy kiss against his plush skin forced Matteo to stop howling until eventually his voice was broken down to cracked sobs.

But even that seemed to come with it’s own price; Matteo never stopped crying. Screams were replaced with wobbly little whimpers and whines, and his bottom lip quivered every time those big tears of his fell down his chin.

Luis didn’t even know it was possible for his heart to ache with empathy more than it already had, and he secretly wished Matteo would just start screaming again so he didn’t have to see his beautiful boy sobbing silently like this.

“ Nonononono, no llores niño hermoso, no llores…”

Luis pressed his forehead up against Matteo’s and squeezed his eyes shut, dipping him just a tiny bit so that his long, curly hair would fall over Teo’s head like a curtain; engulfing the baby in darkness even further. He pressed kisses against Matteo’s small nose and wiped away the tears with his own- At least he tried to with his fast they were falling.

“ Deja de llorar por mí, sí? Deja de llorar… Deja de llorar…”

Luis tried to hum in between his words of encouragement, and even though Matteo probably couldn’t understand him- It seemed to be working regardless.

“ ¿Ver? Ahí tienes, no llores nena, lo estás haciendo tan bien… Tan bueno para mí, Teo”

All Luis could do was let his words of encouragement and comfort sink into his Son's skin, even if he couldn’t fully understand them. He hoped that somehow the message got through regardless of their language barrier, that by some miracle, Matteo understood what Luis was trying to tell him and took it to heart.

“ Te amo, Teo. ¿Tú lo sabes? Te amo mucho más de lo que podrías saber. Te amaré pase lo que pase”

Luis couldn’t tell who he was talking to at this point; Matteo or himself. But it didn’t matter either way. His words rung truer than anything that had ever come out of his mouth.

Luis had spent so much of his life lying. He’d spent so much of it running and selling his soul to the highest bidder that he’d almost forgotten what it was like to be so open and vulnerable with someone.

His Grandfather’s cottage, Valdelobos, Umbrella, Los Illuminados; The names blended together in his mind at this point.

He’d spent too long running.

He found out what a true chance at life looked like and it looked like Leon, Chris and Matteo.

Every stereotype and throwaway comment that Luis heard about how staring at your baby is like ‘Love at first sight’ was so unbelievably true; Luis just wished he could express his love in a way his beautiful boy could understand.

But Matteo still remained awake. His tears had almost come to a complete halt with Luis’ soft words, but he was still staring up at his dad with those big, sleepless, curious brown eyes; it made Luis chuckle.

“ No puedo dormir, ¿Oye? Yo tampoco puedo…”

Luis hummed thoughtfully for a moment, methodically running his thumb across Matteo’s soft, thin brown hair before coming up with an idea. He smiled at the thought alone, and almost felt his heart leap out of his throat when Matteo half-smiled back.

Luis began to rock Matteo back and forth as he began to sing a song he just barely remembered his Grandfather singing to him when he was just a boy;

“ Duérmete mí niño, duérmete mí amor,

Duérmete pedazo de mí corazón,”

Luis smiled as Matteo began to quietly babble in response, holding him even closer.

“ Este niño mío que nació de noche

Quiere que lo lleve a pasear en coche.”

Matteo reached out his tiny hands to grasp at Luis’ stubble, running his fingers over the hair as his little eyes began to droop lower and lower. It took all of Luis’ energy not to grab his face and squeeze him with a million kisses right then and there.

“ Este niño mío que nació de día quiere que lo lleve a la dulcería,”

Luis let his eyes flutter shut as Matteo yawned and lulled his head to the side. Tiny even breaths let the brunette know that his Son had fallen asleep- Yet he kept singing, determined to finish the song. Just like his Grandfather always would.

“ Duérmete mí niño, duérmete mí amor,

Duérmete pedazo de mí corazón.”

Once the lullaby had softly ended, Luis just stood there. Cradling Matteo in his arms silently. The only light source being from the small, glow-in-the-dark star stickers on the ceiling. Not a single creak could be heard, in sharp comparison to just a moment ago. The loudest noise in that room were Matteo’s tiny breaths.

Luis didn’t want to let go. Leon and Chris teased him about it all the time, but he truly, truly didn’t want to part with his beautiful boy. He didn’t want this moment to end. A moment that felt so precious and so loving that Luis knew he was bound to remember it for years to come.

Luis wanted to protect Matteo with his whole world- he knew it was unrealistic, and that eventually, his Son would grow up to be his very own person- but that didn’t mean the need wasn’t still there. Luis had seen things that no single human being should have ever experienced, and yet his own baby crying was somehow worse than all of that combined. He never wanted to see Matteo cry again. He wanted to hold him and kiss him and shelter him from anything that could ever hurt him.

Just like his Grandfather had for Luis all those years ago.

That was almost entirely the reason Luis had approached Leon and Chris about the idea of having a child in the first place;

He wanted to be just like his Grandfather.

It was strange. The older he got, the less he remembered of the man- yet the more he missed him like a child. Luis thought about him quite often. And even more so now that he was a father himself.

In retrospect, his Grandfather was hardly there in his life for a very long time. He was only ten- maybe twelve at the most- years old when he had died. Yet Luis remembered as clear as day the way his knees trembled and his fists balled up hard enough for his fingernails to be imprinted onto his palms when he watched his childhood home burst into flames. He stared at that fire until it was nothing but ashes in the morning, quite literally.

Luis had gone through all the stages of grief a million times over. He used to be mad at his Grandfather for hiding that wolf’s bite that inevitably lead him to becoming sick; he used to resent him, in fact, insisting that his work as a biologist would be enough to reprimand it.

Luis used to beg for his Grandfather to come back- and, hell, he still sometimes did. He still cried like the grief was fresh, and he still found constant solace and comfort in Leon and Chris’ arms.

Luis remembered nothing but good things about his Grandfather.

He remembered how the two of them would go fishing on warm afternoons.

How he’d make him tomato soup every night after dinner.

He remembered how wise and intricate his words seemed to seven-year-old-Luis, when in actuality, he was just speaking fancy English.

He remembered how his Grandfather still encouraged his Trans identity and love for Biology despite their circumstances.

He remembered how he’d encouraged Luis’ fantasies surrounding Don Quixote- how he’d recreate the fantastical scenes and read him every version of the books under the sun back-to-front just so he could fall asleep.

Hell, Luis still kept an old copy of Don Quixote in Matteo’s room just for good luck; him and his two partners had even agreed on the name for their baby after seeing the name ‘Matteo ’ in the credits of a Don Quixote adaptation and finding it stuck. Luis hoped someday he’d be able to read his favorite book ever to Teo and he’d enjoy just as much as he did.

When Luis said he wanted to be a father;

What he really meant was he wanted to be like his Grandfather.

He wanted to give that same undying love and affection to another person. He wanted to be his Son’s hero and somebody who could protect him from anything.

He wanted to be there for Matteo in a way his Grandfather never could before he died;

He wanted to watch Matteo grow up and live a full life.

Just like how his Grandfather always wanted.

Luis wanted to be there for Matteo right until the very end.

Luis wanted to be just like his Grandfather for Matteo. He wanted to make him proud.

“ Te quiero mucho, Teo. También habrías amado a mí Abuelo.”

Luis hadn't even noticed he’d begun crying, let alone the quiet footsteps from behind him until a small knock on the door allerted him to another presence in the room. He was forced out of his forehead-touching position with Matteo to look around and see Leon leaning against the doorframe; his appearance tired and disheveled with a soft smile still on his face.

“How’s Teo?”

“He’s good,” Luis smiled, whispering lightly.

“I just got him back to sleep.”

Leon made his way to Luis’ side and cupped his Son’s head with one hand, leaning down to press a gentle, cautious kiss on his head.

Luis’ eyes never broke away from Teo’s face, even as Leon leaned his head against his shoulder. The brunette reciprocated, feeling his partner let out a sigh of relief.

“Where’s Chris?”

Luis broke the silence, desperate for some conversation. He felt like he was about to burst into tears if he didn’t talk soon.

“He’s staying with the Winter’s tonight, remember?”

The brunette just hummed at Leon’s response. Ethan Winters; the name sounded familiar. He was pretty sure they were expecting a child soon, too. Chris seemed to be very protective over him; Which seemed deserved after what he heard they’d been through. Luis hoped he’d get to meet them someday.

Another beat of silence.

“…Luis?”

Leon finally spoke up, his voice soft; as if their tender moment was made of porcelain.

“…Are you Ok?”

“I’m fine.” Luis was quick to answer. Too quick. Leon gave him that look and his partner was forced to relent, shaking his head slightly with a small smile. If he wasn’t smiling, he’d probably be crying.

“I will be fine,”

Luis corrected himself. Leon always knew when something was up, and Luis didn’t have the heart (or the energy) to try to lie. He wore his heart on his sleeve in his old age.

“I’m just… I don’t know. Difícul de explicar. Words don’t seem to cut it.”

“I understand.” Was all Leon said in response, snuggling further into the crook of his neck as his hand remained on Teo’s head.

Luis was grateful Leon didn’t try to pry further.

The silence between them, however, was too much for Luis to bear. To keep himself from breaking down and potentially waking Matteo up, he gave his Son one last kiss on the forehead- letting it linger for a couple moments- before slipping him back into his cot and pulling the up blankets over him.

‘ Buenes noches, niño hermoso”

He whispered, running the pad of his thumb against his cheeks for a beat before he reluctantly pried himself away from his sleeping Son.

The second he turned around to face Leon, it was like all of the night's anxieties and grief caught up to him in an instant; his body suddenly felt like lead and his eyes stung with tears.

He could barely make out Leon’s expression in the darkness, but he knew from gut instinct alone that it was one of sympathy.

“ L-Leon…?”

Luis whimpered, his lips quivering as his eyes welled up.

“ D-Do you think my Grandfather w-would be proud of me…?”

Leon’s posture softened in an instant.

“ Oh, Luis…”

Luis couldn’t hold it together much longer; he collapsed into Leon’s arms in an instant, feeling awfully small and vulnerable as he cried silently into his partner's shoulder. He could hear Leon murmur some reassuring words from above him, but he couldn’t make them out; the blondes chin rested atop his head as his arms squeezed him tight, rocking Luis back-and-fourth in an attempt to soothe him.

Luis, ironically, felt a little bit like how Teo must’ve been feeling just a moment ago.

“You wanna know something, Luis?”

Leon finally said loud enough for him to hear, pulling away just slightly so he could cup Luis’ face in his hands; wiping away the tears from his cheeks.

“Your Grandfather would be so, so proud of you. I know that for a fact. He would be over the moon for you”

“B-but w-w-what if I’m n-not doing e-enough for T-Teo? I-I j-just w-wanna be like m-mí A-Abuelo..-“

“You’re doing more than enough, Luis. You’re going so above and beyond you have no idea. Listen to me,”

Leon grabbed his chin and forced him to make eye contact.

“You’re not alone. You understand? You have us. And if your Grandfather were still alive, he would be by your side and telling you what an incredible job you’re doing. You are the best Father, understood? Your Grandfather would be so proud of you.”

That was enough for Luis to break down into tired, open-mouthed sobs against Leon’s chest. The two of them had to return to their own bedroom to keep Matteo from waking up; But it was worth it.

Luis stayed curled up against Leon for the entire night, having his hair combed through by his partner's hands as he cried against his shirt.

Luis eventually fell asleep. And for the first time in quite a while, he actually had a decent night's sleep.

He had Leon. He had Chris, and he had Matteo.

He promised to himself that he would make his Grandfather proud.

He would be a good Father to Teo. He would do anything for his beautiful boy.

And nothing in the world could ever change that.

[bandzboy]

I don't think it was just a concept for skz I think they really believed everything they've said when they were fighting against the industry, however things have changed. They are one of biggest kpop groups now and I think they have this certain greed. I felt that with bts too when they really blew up, or taylor swift, she is already a really big worldwide known artist yet she wants to break all the records even if it means losing quality of her music and not letting other smaller artists shine. I feel like something similar is happing with skz, they are at this point in their career where they can achieve huge things, so they don't really care about anything else. After met gala they said several times that they are proud to be the first group to attend, even though it was with tommy hilfiger, they were happy to collaborate with a western artist, even though it was charlie puth, they are happy about marvel, etc. I think they are happy to do all the "cool stuff" and just don't care if it means associating with problematic people. It is dissopointing that they've become the thing they fought against and instead of using their influence for good they are using it to promote zionists brands

truly i just brought up the concept thing because all of it, all of they essentially wrote about and talked about in their music becomes meaningless when you know they are not taking a stance right now and literally not having a backbone it sucks truly. obviously idk what is like to be the biggest artist but i imagine some artists just want more and more and don't want it to stop and don't really think through about what they are doing and it doesn't help that they are in an industry that enables everything and everyone so they must think it's okay and just throw whatever morals they have to the side and idk if it's the case here but i mean... i think it's fair to question that. and btw, i know zionism is heavily entrenched in this industry it has truly been in every corner for years and nobody has put a stop to it because so many of these people in power are zionists so it's truly hard to fight against it but it doesn't mean you shouldn't fight you SHOULD. and i know they might not know it about it in depth hell even i wasn't well versed on it that much months ago and now i'm making my life's mission to stop it but i would genuinely hope they listened to their fans and would try to slowly distance themselves from zionists and try to understand but it has been so insanely disappointing that after lmb it has become worse and it's so blatantly obvious that some of these zionists in the music industry aren't being that accepted in the west anymore so they are migrating to the kpop industry and these companies just let them because they only gaf about western validation nowadays so they just let anyone in without a care in the world and it's just crazy to me. i don't know what will happen next my expectations are very low but obviously, as someone who has stanned them for years, i have a little hope reserved because i am not the type of person to assume the worst obviously it has been really hard but you know unless they give a clear i don't gaf about anything you people say then i'm out but are so much shit left unsaid and shit we don't know that might be happening behind the scenes that just make you question everything. to me it's all very mind boggling at the moment. but yeah, when these artists start to get big and the money starts to come in it's like everything they were previously is gone and they seem out touch and all of that and seeing that in real time is crazy i don't even if that's the case here but ahm yeah i really hope it isn't

[missnight0wl]

If you hate hphm so much, then why are you keep playing it? I don't mean it in a disrespectful way, if you don't like the game, you don't have to keep playing it

I don’t hate HPHM. There are things I hate about it, but I don’t hate it per se. I don’t think I’d spend so much time writing paragraphs about something I hate. Honestly, I rarely interact with things or people I hate in general. Not to mention that there are not many things I’d say I hate, to begin with.

See, the problem is that I really love the story of HPHM. My issue is with JC who’s wasting its potential. But even that wasn’t that big deal for a long time – because I believed that we could eventually get where the original team wanted us to go. And frankly, while JC is making many mistakes for years now, there were still things I truly enjoyed. Hell, let’s take Peregrine. To be clear, I absolutely hate the way his character was introduced to the story and executed later on. But… I don’t hate Peregrine as a concept. In fact, I quite like the idea of that total douchebag who left his family because he has a god complex and whatnot. Obviously, we’d have to change a lot for it to really work in HPHM, but still.

Things started changing drastically when JC came up with their brilliant idea about Merula’s Unbreakable Vow, I think. I feel like more or less from that point, the writers stopped even trying to pretend they know what they’re doing. I can’t think on the spot of the last chapter that didn’t introduce some massive contradictions to the plot. And sure, there were some contradictions in the story every now and then, especially since Y6. However, JC’s biggest crime was always ignoring/not remembering plotlines. The thing is that it didn’t conflict that much when you tried to connect known elements. But currently? I seriously don’t know what JC might think the story is. I honestly doubt they know it. Like, let’s take Olivia. Did she know about R while at school or did she not? Because I feel like JC claimed both, and we got no conclusion whatsoever.

Still, even that, it’s not hatred – it’s frustration.

Also, criticising bad media can be both enjoyable and useful – because it teaches you what things don’t work when you want to tell a story and what might be frustrating for your audience. I mean, why do you think commentary channels on YouTube reviewing bad movies are so popular? I understand that not everyone will enjoy this type of content, but hey, you don’t have to visit my blog – and I don’t mean it in a disrespectful way either.

Anyway, I can tell you that once HPHM stops bringing me any enjoyment, I will probably leave it – just like I left the Quidditch storyline, for example, or how I stopped playing every single side quest. I mentioned a while ago that I’d likely quit the game after Y7 if not for Callum McClintock. And well, they really got me with this lad. Is keeping playing the game for just one character that will probably get ruined by JC anyway a big sacrifice? Maybe. But on the other hand, playing HPHM nowadays means dedicating to it like… a couple of evenings a month. So, I think it’s not that bad. And who knows how things might change, considering this release pace.

[tirsynni]

So back in the day, you used to be very careful about what information you put online. Nowadays, people not only provide all of the information they used to avoid but expect others to do so, as well. If you don't, you're a creep. (Or a boomer. Wtf, people? Talk about a term getting weaponized and turned back on its users.)

I feel like that's a huge red flag there and it's concerning that so many others don't. As part of internet safety training, they warn to be wary of things demanding an immediate response. They don't want you to think. They want you to react. This is like that. "If you don't provide this information, you're a creep and..." etc etc etc.

This huge cultural shift occurred at the same time as other invasive internet things occurred. It used to be that trackers and such were obviously bad things. Now they're expected. Of course everything is tracking you. People joke about their phones and other devices listening in on them. What would have been horrific years ago is now expected. "Ah, yes, there's that suspiciously specific ad popping up again. Haha. Alexa is listening to me again!" Isn't that scary?

A popular response is "Why should it bother me? I have nothing to hide!" That's not the point. It's about getting people to accept their privacy being stripped from them. Hell, not only accept it but expect it of others! From that, other rights connected to privacy are stripped, torn apart, ignored, etc. Again, popular response: "I have nothing to hide." Make people focus on that and not the loss of privacy and security. Make people willingly give information and feel smug about doing it! "Here, have all the ways you can hurt me! Oh, do you need details? Sure!"

And one of the most frustrating things about all of this? People demanding a carrd or whatever, so smug with themselves, like people don't lie on the internet all the time.

"Not having a carrd is a red flag!" No a red flag is you thinking you're entitled to a little pamphlet full of someone else's information.

[asoulofatlantis]

Finally, instead of pretending that we do not know... Falcom makes a joke of it that we do in fact know XD They've learned their lesson with how they failed with the likes of Azure Siegfried ^^'

Falcom is known for reusing old ideas but I think they certainly did way better with copying this whole mask-ordeal than they did when copying Kloes "not royaltie at all" - acts over to Musse. They do not hide here that the same trick was used, while with Musse no one really ever mentioned that she just copied Kloe to get away with her plans. And I also like the idea of making it two sisters in dept here, instead of two very close friends on a lot of pressure here. It is still a reused idea, but they certainly tried harder this time to make it still somewhat more unique and surprising.

This sentence did not make much sense back then at all... and makes so much more sense nowadays...

Van has a "don't touch Agnes" - rule and most enemies love to push that button ^^' (Which leads to their demise because that usually summons Grendel...)

You've already got a shitload of Kai Spoilers from me at this point, so what is one more? (BTW... I did say I wanted to see what Daybreak has in store for me after watching Kai, so if you did come here not expecting spoilers, joke is on you!) Because someone Data-Mined Kai no Kiseki... and for whatever reason Falcom hide some Spoilers in there. Like the Identity of the Masked people who have not been revealed to us yet - and it makes no sense to me whatsoever to do that in Kais Data, if it wasn't needed there at all, but what the hell do I know about how programming works? So in any case. They did reveal there that Mare is in fact the Holy beast of the Time-Septerion. I am honestly not sure how this all works yet, but it puts one thing into question: HOW ON EARTH IS IT POSSIBLE TO INTERFERE WITH A HOLY BEAST LIKE THAT?! My only explanation would be that whatever caused Mare to be in this Hollow-Core-State has been binding her powers or something. The Genesis and Agnes as rightful heir has been resonating with her, for obvious enough reasons but it didn't manage to release her full powers? The question also obviously is how she became a Hollowcore and what happened to her actual body? Not to mention obviously also, how the hell get Marduk their Hands on her? SO. MANY. QUESTIONS! (And here we are waiting like two years for an answer...)

Poor Girl. It has been her job to gather the Genesis to ultimately fulfill her final mission but the cost was high. Every Genesis did cost at least one life, as far as I can remember and as we know from Kuro 2 that wasn't even the end of it all. Ultimativly, it had to be done. If not we would literally ALL be back to point Zero. But the price for saving our timeline was high. And so is the pressure on my poor girl.

Well... at least through that whole journey, "die Kleene" was never really alone. I am very grateful for that. Her time might run out eventually, but I think Van and the others, despite all the ordeals, helped her to make the best out of it.

I really can not blame the guy. Not one of his assistants has even asked if he wants or can afford another part-timer. I know its a running-gag and its supposed to be because Van by himself would likely not say yes, because of who he is and how he thinks... but it still is a bit mean sometimes and at this point gets kind of obnoxious.

To be fair... all the people studying under Epsteins Disciples are bit... uh... special ^^' (I do not even exclude my dear Tita here...)

Who or what even is Aldra? O.o I am glad to hear that ZCF are doing good and all... but who is that even that they are working with? ^^'

They did mention it here that the Calvardian revolution has been only 100 years ago but when it came up in Kai that Sheena Dirke was still alive when Judiths Grandmother was still a child it sounded absolutely ridicioulus to me because I was sure that happened like 1000 years ago or so ^^' Which makes no sense given circumstances but I wasn't the only one surprised. The whole chat was like: "What? She was still alive back then? O.O" So I guess that is one again an Information we totally discarded...

Now here is an interesting fact about Kai: The masked woman who took of her mask right at the end was first believed to be Agnes mother, do to a simular Hair- and Skincolor. The Data-Mining revealed that it was Sheena Dirke tho, probably in a younger state then when she met Domenique tho. HOWEVER the game makes a big point out of Van mentioning that Agnes Mother and Grandmother basically look just like her... I would not fully agree with that but what if Agnes is related to Sheena Dirke? She might not exactly be her great-great-grandmother but some sister of her great-great-grandmother maybe? I mean, we needed the name "Claudel" apparently but... I don't know... things seems odd here. The game made a huge point out of not showing Sheenas older face, even tho we have seen her younger face in pictures before. Like there were trying to hide something we would not have paid attention to before.

I am just fishing for answers here... but... giving everything we know it certainly is not out of the question ^^'

I'd say XD Not just that her biological family lives there, she also is close to the SSS and she has been living there for a while herself. Going to Crossbell would not be educational, it would be like going home XD

No one would do it like the society XD Heck, to this day no one even gets how the society survived with those kind of "rules" ^^'

I found it quiet funny that Marduks high in development came ultimately from finding her and she had no idea about it until close to the end of Kai.

[lvsifer]

As someone who hasn’t read beyond Iwtv and Tvl in 15 years but HAS recently read the Mayfair Witches trilogy and has been listening to a lot of Christopher Rice’s podcast where he every once in a while talks abt AR, I’d like to say:

Firstly, agreed that AR has flaws etc etc and I vaguely remember the VC being sexist but cannot currently speak to it beyond the books mentioned above, HOWEVER, her female characters in Mayfair Witches are so much more than ‘breeding machines’, (despite breeding being a part of the storyline). She also explores queerness in women in it, in regards to bisexuality as well as crossdressing, and certainly genderqueerness/transness even if just in passing. There are some things in these books that are certainly not things that I’d condone irl, but her exploration of ‘womanhood’ or more ‘personhood’ in regards to afab characters is beautiful, flawed, and human. Additionally she has said multiple times that she has gotten bad responses whenever she tried to introduce female characters and has implied she felt pressured to focus more on men. And yeah, she also was born 1941 and as someone whose dad wad born the same year…that is a whole 'nother can of worms and trust me she is LEAGUES above anything my dad ever tried to in regards to confronting discrimination of all sorts. I also think she gets way more shit than any male author who has similar problems in their writing. And that despite her already in the 70s writing abt the free people of colour in Nola and certainly in the 90s in interviews talking abt her thoughts on women’s safety from exploitation etc, plainly saying all her characters being bisexual in interviews (I think ppl underestimate how Big that is for the 90s), and that’s just what I’ve discovered in casual research over the last months.

Can she fill today’s best version of an intersectional feminist? Hell no. But neither could most of us even 10years ago with a much better upbringing and education. So yes, critique all the things that need critiquing, I am there with you, but let’s also not witch-hunt this person for whose characters we obviously hold great love. She clearly cared deeply abt things and though I fully agree that some things she did are wrong and disgusting (many of which however were also fully the norm at the time sadly), there also seems quite a lot of bad faith approaches to her from people who may have only read VC and not cared to inquire deeper into her thoughts on the things they take issue with. (Not that anyone has to but I feel like it’s being brought up disproportionately in this fandom.)

2) AR has said in interviews that she often ‘forgets she has a gender’ which CR also reiterated in one of his podcast eps where he states that AR often said that ‘she doesn’t feel like she had a gender’. And that plus how she identifies with Lestat/her feelings towards him. So…she definitely was some shape of trans, be that genderqueer, agender, transmasc etc (and clearly bi though that’s another discussion). I too (maybe patronisingly) wish she would have had opportunity to fully explore that intellectually and maybe physically the way that people can nowadays, though who knows how aware she was of this (fully agreeing with “you can know but you might not KNOW” bc hard same for me).

Currently thinking about how Anne Rice has expressed that Lestat is a reflection in many ways of the type of person she wished she could be and how she didn’t understand gender + didn’t entirely identify with womanhood, and how all of those feelings are a part of Gabrielle’s character, down to Gabrielle basically saying to Lestat that she loves him because she sees the type of man she can’t be reflected in him and I just…Im not the biggest fan of Anne Rice as a person, she was definitely very flawed (that may be an understatement), but I feel bad that she seemed to have had some unaddressed gender dysphoria, and never really got to explore her gender in a way that she found satisfactory. Based on how she’s spoken about it it seems like she didn’t consider exploring her gender identity to be a possibility. And honestly I find that really sad

[wisecrackingeric-2]

Summary:

Set ten years after the events of Resident Evil 4; Luis, Leon and Chris have been in a long-term relationship and finally decided to have a Son.

Only Luis finds out that being a Father reminds him of his a Grandfather more than he was expecting.

So one night when their Son wakes up crying, Luis decides to take it upon himself to comfort both himself his baby.

Absolute gut-wrenching Fluff ensues.

((While this Fic is supposed to be read as apart of my ‘Luis Serra Lives’ AU, it can be read as a stand-alone too! It can also be easily read as just a Leon/Luis Fic as Chris doesn’t make an in-person appearance))

A/N: Repost cuz I didint realise until now that I actually haven’t posted the fic itself onto Tumblr!!!! If y’all could check it out on AO3 too that would mean the world,, this work is very sentimental to me and yes I did almost cry writing it what of it

———

Luis wasn’t usually a light sleeper.

At least, he didn’t think he was. Not until he had his own child, that is.

Most nights nowadays were spent sandwiched against Leon or Chris- Whoever was home at the time- With his back facing their chests, and their arms draped protectively over his shoulders. Usually accompanied by one or the others’ legs being entangled between Luis’, too.

The two of them usually came home late, and if Luis wasn’t awake, they’d slip under the covers with him wordlessly- Knowing that they’d probably be forced to wake up earlier than their boyfriend in the morning, anyways.

But Luis didn’t mind. He never minded; Putting up with their grouchy, sleep-deprived attitudes and their constant old-married-couple back and forth banter was more than reasonable for him. Especially after everything.

August 2004 felt like a lifetime ago now. So much had changed and so many years passed that it was impossible for Luis to look back and feel any connection towards the man he once was.

He remembered- extremely vividly- lying on that cold, hard concrete and practically begging for Leon to tell him he was a good person during what he was convinced were his final moments. His mouth was full of blood and he could hardly keep a cigarette between his lips, let alone light it.

He’d asked Leon, in an act of desperation, ‘What do you think, Leon? People can change, right?’

It was a desperate plea for forgiveness. He wanted to change so badly yet he always still retraced those same habits that got him in that position in the first place. He thought back to his Grandfather in his ‘dying’ moments; And he wondered if he’d be ashamed or proud.

But Leon had saved him regardless. In every way a person could be saved. Not only did he literally shove some kind of miscellaneous herb into his mouth and pick him up to drape his bloody body over his shoulders- But once they’d arrived back in the USA, Leon did everything in his power to make sure Luis didn’t slip into that self-deprecating cycle of guilt and self-pity he seemed to be oh-so familiar with.

Leon proved to Luis that people could change. And not only that, but people were deserving of love regardless of what they have done.

Luis loved Leon in a way that was so undeniably human and raw and vulnerable it almost hurt at times.

The pair of them couldn’t keep their eyes- or hands- off of each other.

Then Luis was introduced to Chris Redfield; Big, friendly, puppydog-like Chris Redfield who so painfully obviously had the biggest crush on Leon it made Luis feel like he was going insane. The two of them would stammer and blush and shift their weight awkwardly every single time they were alone; And, hell, Luis would be lying if he said he didn’t find the guy attractive as all hell. So they approached him about the possibility of Polyamory;

And here they all were, ten years later, so ingrained and fixed in each other's lives that they practically couldn’t be seen apart from one another. Their day-to-day was so domestic- so routine- And Luis wouldn’t have had it any other way.

If you had asked him ten years ago where he thought he’d be in life, his answer would probably be dead.

Past-Luis probably couldn’t have even fathomed being so unabashedly loved, so unashamedly domestic and genuinely happy.

Was he always happy? No, far from it, in fact. There were plenty of nights where he still felt the ghost of Krauser's knife holed in his spine, or the squirming Plagas inside of his chest like a ghost limb. Sometimes his face still grew hot from the memories of his Grandfather burning alive in his childhood home. He found it hard to fall asleep by himself sometimes- So Leon and Chris would always make an effort to comfort him. One of them would be pressed up against his back, and the other laying across his chest. Reminding him with their physical bodies that he was Ok.

Tonight was exactly one of those nights; Luis had been tossing and turning in his sleep relentlessly since he got home and shed himself of his usual Lab coat. Although the agreement with the US government was that he’d tag along with Leon on missions, he found himself working in the Labs with Rebecca more often than not- And of course, that eventually turned into a full-time job after Leon had finally retired.

Still, though, Luis came home later than expected. And the days stress weighing down on him seemed to trigger some deep-seeded memories from his childhood that he’d rather not forget.

That seemed to usually be his brain's go-to trauma response, at least; ‘Flash some memories of your Grandfather while you try to sleep and you’ll be A-OK’.

Luis couldn’t remember when he had made it to his bed- Nor could he remember when Leon had slipped under the sheets beside him- But he hardly slept regardless. He tried counting sheep and snuggling into his partner's embrace; but nothing helped. There wasn’t even anything specific that was causing this lack of sleep. He just.. Couldn’t. He just had to let his brain replay memories of his childhood with his Grandfather like an awfully cruel movie.

So when the sound of his Son’s crying filled the air in an ear-piercing scream, Luis was already prepared and sitting up on his elbows before Leon had even stirred awake.

“I’ll go get the baby,”

Luis whispered, leaning over to kiss Leon on the temple of his head before forcing himself up straight.

His voice was husky and gravelly, and despite having been awake for at least a few hours his limbs were all still too stiff to avoid a popping noise when they stretched.

Leon responded with a quiet ‘hhhhrmmphhh’ before he shuffled back down under the covers, pressing the ends of his blanket up to his ears in an attempt to drown out the baby’s crying.

Luis just huffed a laugh at the sorry sight of his tired partner and got up on his feet with a groan.

Standing up to exit their shared bedroom, Luis did his best to tie up his long, graying salt-and-pepper hair in a messy half-ponytail with the hair tie he always insisted on having wrapped around his wrists. Years ago, Luis had insisted to Leon that ‘He wasn’t trying to grow his hair out, he just didn't trust the barbers’.

But ten years later with his hair reaching his mid-back at this point, that was obviously a lie. Besides, Luis liked it like this; From what he could remember, his Grandfather always kept his hair long, so it was sentimental in a weird way.

“Loooeeeeesss….”

Leon reached an arm out from beneath the blankets to grab at his’, blue eyes blinking slowly to try and adjust to the light.

“Mwhere are you goin’ love…?”

“I just told you,” Luis chuckled, “I’m gonna go put Matteo back to sleep”

Leon made a noise of protest and tried to sit up from underneath his sheets, pulling Luis in closer by the arm.

“Nonono, don’ get up, I can go get him..”

“Sssshhhh, just go back to bed mí amor,”

Luis gently pushed Leon back down onto his pillow with one hand, leaning over to press a sleepy kiss against his lips.

“I was already up. You just go back to sleep, sí?”

The blonde huffed a reluctant sigh but still sunk back under the covers regardless. His lips were pursed in a little pout as he let go of Luis’ hand.

“But you’re always up to get him. Y’know I’m happy to do it once ‘n a while, right?”

Luis paused for a moment, biting his lip as he tried to figure out how he should respond. Leon was half-asleep, a quarter of the way to being absolutely dead to the world; but he was still right.

Luis was always the one to go put Matteo back to bed when he woke up screaming like this.

He always insisted that Chris or Leon stay in bed, go back to sleep; And tonight was no exception. But being faced with the question he suddenly found that he couldn’t actually figure out why.

Luis always just assumed that it was the least he could do in return. Chris and Leon, despite being ‘retired’, were still constantly called into the office or on smaller Ops- Sometimes for days at a time, even. And while Luis had his day job with Rebecca in the labs, they were much more forgiving when it came to time off.

His two lovers had given him the entire world, in his mind. They’d given him a space to live and to grow as a person and they’d given him more love than any other human being had ever shown him; and most importantly, they gave him the opportunity to be a Father. They all were.

He got the opportunity of a lifetime to look after someone just as his Grandfather had looked after him.

So maybe Luis just wanted to repay them in some way.

They always insisted he didn’t need to do that; that him just being there was more than enough.

But that nagging voice in the back of his head never left, no matter how hard he tried.

“I know…”

Was all Luis could respond with, his voice a little deflated in defeat.

“Just… Just let me do this for you, just this once. ¿Ok, cariño?”

“Okay…” Leon yawned, his voice still slightly reluctant as he snuggled his face further into the pillow. And like a light, he was out within seconds.

Luis smiled and huffed a breath of air through his nose at the sight of his sleepy partner. With one final ruffle of his blonde hair, Luis was snapped back to reality when he heard his Son wailing once more from upstairs.

Luis made his way up to the second floor with a slouched posture and dragging feet; he slipped his reading glasses on somewhere half-way up, and was thoroughly greeted by the high-pitched cries of his baby the second the door creaked open.

Matteo’s room was simple; It didn’t need to be very big, after all (And even so, it was bigger than Luis’ old childhood room with his Grandfather.)

The walls were covered in pastel blue-and-pink flowers painted on courtesy of Ashley one weekend, and the roof was littered in pale blue, glow-in-the-dark stars.

Matteo's cot sat tucked up against the wall, and stuffed toys littering the floor where they must’ve slipped off and landed in a maze-like heap. Luis could just barely make out his Son’s silhouette against the bars of the cot;

And Luis’ heart promptly shattered into a million pieces when he saw Matteo reach out his little baby-arms into the sky at the sound of his entering the room.

Luis skilfully stepped over the pile of toys laying across his floor, before pressing a gentle hand against the wooden bars of Matteo’s cot.

Just as expected, the baby had kicked his blankets off- Probably the cause of his screaming- And had his tiny hands balled up in even tinier fists as big, fat tears fell down his chubby cheeks.

Luis cooed in an attempt to keep himself from crying.

“Ssssshhhhh… ¿ver? Estoy aquí, Teo…”

His words were more for soothing himself rather than the baby as he felt his voice grow wobbly at the sight. Ever since ‘Teo’ was born, Luis became an absolute crybaby- Chris and Leon teased him about it constantly, but never in a mean-spirited way.

Seeing his Son in any kind of discomfort felt worse than any knife to the back ever could; His heart squeezed and all he wanted to do was wipe away those tears forever and never let go of his little boy until he was smiling and laughing again. He wanted to hold and cradle him every second of the day- and if he could, he would.

‘You’re always hogging our son’, Leon had teased one day, watching Luis bounce their kid against his hip. From beside him, Chris reached over to give Matteo a kiss on the cheek.

‘Yeah, you never let us hold him’

‘¡Tu idiotas! You can hold him if you want!’ Luis had responded, feeling a little guilty. But his partner's laughter confirmed it was only a joke.

‘Ignore us, Luis. Teo likes it more when you hold him anyways’

‘He likes it more when you guys tuck him into bed’, Luis had offered, earning laughter from Leon, whose index finger was being held tightly by Teo’s little hands.

Luis was promptly broken out of his trip down memory lane by another sharp, high-pitched scream out of Matteo’s mouth, and although Luis did his best to soothe his Son by rubbing the pads of his thumb across his reddened and tear-stained chubby cheeks- It was no use. Matteo kept screaming and grabbing his hands out into the air, trying to reach for Luis’ long locks.

Through the screaming, Luis couldn’t help but chuckle a little; Teo was always grabbing onto his hair one way or another. He figured it must’ve been some kind of self-comforting baby thing, so he just let him. Matteo hardly ever pulled at it, anyways. He just kinda… held on.

No matter how hard Luis tried to sway his baby boy back to sleep from above the cot, it was all for naught. He just kept crying and wailing, and the longer it went on, the more Luis couldn’t handle seeing his Son in tears like this.

So against his better judgment, Luis cupped his hands underneath his small back and lifted him up with a small ‘There we go…’, cupping the baby’s head inbetween his hand and elbow, firmly grasping onto his leg with the other.

Luis had very quickly figured out that the usual bouncing and ‘there-there’s did not work on his Son. The motion only served to make his crying worse generally, so the brunette resorted to- extremely softly- rocking Matteo back and forth in his arms.

That only worked for a couple moments before Teo was back to wailing again. This time slightly quieter, Luis noted to himself victoriously. He silently wondered if he ever cried as much when his Grandfather took care of him.

He couldn’t tell if he was just tired and therefor had his emotions dialed up to 100 (You know what they say; Never trust your brain past 10:00 PM) Or if he was genuinely upset by his Son’s crying, but Luis felt practically desperate to get him to stop. He didn’t even care about the noise; Just seeing his little bundle of joy’s face all scrunched up and wet from big, fat tears rolling down his face was infinitely more worrying to him than the noise.

So, as gently as possible, Luis bought Matteo up to his face, and after pressing his delicate little forehead against his, Luis started to place feather-light kisses against his baby’s skin. He placed them so tenderly that his own skin tingled from the sensation. As if Matteo was made from porcelain.

And to Luis, he may as well have been.

Every tiny action, every small breath was met with internal cringing- Luis was so self-conscious of just how unfathomably small Matteo was that even just brushing his nose up against the baby’s was enough to make his heart squeeze in worry.

But, at least there was one bright side; Matteo was slowly starting to quieten down his wailing. Every pillowy kiss against his plush skin forced Matteo to stop howling until eventually his voice was broken down to cracked sobs.

But even that seemed to come with it’s own price; Matteo never stopped crying. Screams were replaced with wobbly little whimpers and whines, and his bottom lip quivered every time those big tears of his fell down his chin.

Luis didn’t even know it was possible for his heart to ache with empathy more than it already had, and he secretly wished Matteo would just start screaming again so he didn’t have to see his beautiful boy sobbing silently like this.

“Nonononono, no llores niño hermoso, no llores…”

Luis pressed his forehead up against Matteo’s and squeezed his eyes shut, dipping him just a tiny bit so that his long, curly hair would fall over Teo’s head like a curtain; engulfing the baby in darkness even further. He pressed kisses against Matteo’s small nose and wiped away the tears with his own- At least he tried to with his fast they were falling.

“Deja de llorar por mí, sí? Deja de llorar… Deja de llorar…”

Luis tried to hum in between his words of encouragement, and even though Matteo probably couldn’t understand him- It seemed to be working regardless.

“¿Ver? Ahí tienes, no llores nena, lo estás haciendo tan bien… Tan bueno para mí, Teo”

All Luis could do was let his words of encouragement and comfort sink into his Son's skin, even if he couldn’t fully understand them. He hoped that somehow the message got through regardless of their language barrier, that by some miracle, Matteo understood what Luis was trying to tell him and took it to heart.

“Te amo, Teo. ¿Tú lo sabes? Te amo mucho más de lo que podrías saber. Te amaré pase lo que pase”

Luis couldn’t tell who he was talking to at this point; Matteo or himself. But it didn’t matter either way. His words rung truer than anything that had ever come out of his mouth.

Luis had spent so much of his life lying. He’d spent so much of it running and selling his soul to the highest bidder that he’d almost forgotten what it was like to be so open and vulnerable with someone.

His Grandfather’s cottage, Valdelobos, Umbrella, Los Illuminados; The names blended together in his mind at this point.

He’d spent too long running.

He found out what a true chance at life looked like and it looked like Leon, Chris and Matteo.

Every stereotype and throwaway comment that Luis heard about how staring at your baby is like ‘Love at first sight’ was so unbelievably true; Luis just wished he could express his love in a way his beautiful boy could understand.

But Matteo still remained awake. His tears had almost come to a complete halt with Luis’ soft words, but he was still staring up at his dad with those big, sleepless, curious brown eyes; it made Luis chuckle.

“No puedo dormir, ¿Oye? Yo tampoco puedo…”

Luis hummed thoughtfully for a moment, methodically running his thumb across Matteo’s soft, thin brown hair before coming up with an idea. He smiled at the thought alone, and almost felt his heart leap out of his throat when Matteo half-smiled back.

Luis began to rock Matteo back and forth as he began to sing a song he just barely remembered his Grandfather singing to him when he was just a boy;

“Duérmete mí niño, duérmete mí amor,

Duérmete pedazo de mí corazón,”

Luis smiled as Matteo began to quietly babble in response, holding him even closer.

“Este niño mío que nació de noche

Quiere que lo lleve a pasear en coche.”

Matteo reached out his tiny hands to grasp at Luis’ stubble, running his fingers over the hair as his little eyes began to droop lower and lower. It took all of Luis’ energy not to grab his face and squeeze him with a million kisses right then and there.

“Este niño mío que nació de día quiere que lo lleve a la dulcería,”

Luis let his eyes flutter shut as Matteo yawned and lulled his head to the side. Tiny even breaths let the brunette know that his Son had fallen asleep- Yet he kept singing, determined to finish the song. Just like his Grandfather always would.

“Duérmete mí niño, duérmete mí amor,

Duérmete pedazo de mí corazón.”

Once the lullaby had softly ended, Luis just stood there. Cradling Matteo in his arms silently. The only light source being from the small, glow-in-the-dark star stickers on the ceiling. Not a single creak could be heard, in sharp comparison to just a moment ago. The loudest noise in that room were Matteo’s tiny breaths.

Luis didn’t want to let go. Leon and Chris teased him about it all the time, but he truly, truly didn’t want to part with his beautiful boy. He didn’t want this moment to end. A moment that felt so precious and so loving that Luis knew he was bound to remember it for years to come.

Luis wanted to protect Matteo with his whole world- he knew it was unrealistic, and that eventually, his Son would grow up to be his very own person- but that didn’t mean the need wasn’t still there. Luis had seen things that no single human being should have ever experienced, and yet his own baby crying was somehow worse than all of that combined. He never wanted to see Matteo cry again. He wanted to hold him and kiss him and shelter him from anything that could ever hurt him.

Just like his Grandfather had for Luis all those years ago.

That was almost entirely the reason Luis had approached Leon and Chris about the idea of having a child in the first place;

He wanted to be just like his Grandfather.

It was strange. The older he got, the less he remembered of the man- yet the more he missed him like a child. Luis thought about him quite often. And even more so now that he was a father himself.

In retrospect, his Grandfather was hardly there in his life for a very long time. He was only ten- maybe twelve at the most- years old when he had died. Yet Luis remembered as clear as day the way his knees trembled and his fists balled up hard enough for his fingernails to be imprinted onto his palms when he watched his childhood home burst into flames. He stared at that fire until it was nothing but ashes in the morning, quite literally.

Luis had gone through all the stages of grief a million times over. He used to be mad at his Grandfather for hiding that wolf’s bite that inevitably lead him to becoming sick; he used to resent him, in fact, insisting that his work as a biologist would be enough to reprimand it.

Luis used to beg for his Grandfather to come back- and, hell, he still sometimes did. He still cried like the grief was fresh, and he still found constant solace and comfort in Leon and Chris’ arms.

Luis remembered nothing but good things about his Grandfather.

He remembered how the two of them would go fishing on warm afternoons.

How he’d make him tomato soup every night after dinner.

He remembered how wise and intricate his words seemed to seven-year-old-Luis, when in actuality, he was just speaking fancy English.

He remembered how his Grandfather still encouraged his Trans identity and love for Biology despite their circumstances.

He remembered how he’d encouraged Luis’ fantasies surrounding Don Quixote- how he’d recreate the fantastical scenes and read him every version of the books under the sun back-to-front just so he could fall asleep.

Hell, Luis still kept an old copy of Don Quixote in Matteo’s room just for good luck; him and his two partners had even agreed on the name for their baby after seeing the name ‘Matteo’ in the credits of a Don Quixote adaptation and finding it stuck. Luis hoped someday he’d be able to read his favorite book ever to Teo and he’d enjoy just as much as he did.

When Luis said he wanted to be a father;

What he really meant was he wanted to be like his Grandfather.

He wanted to give that same undying love and affection to another person. He wanted to be his Son’s hero and somebody who could protect him from anything.

He wanted to be there for Matteo in a way his Grandfather never could before he died;

He wanted to watch Matteo grow up and live a full life.

Just like how his Grandfather always wanted.

Luis wanted to be there for Matteo right until the very end.

Luis wanted to be just like his Grandfather for Matteo. He wanted to make him proud.

“Te quiero mucho, Teo. También habrías amado a mí Abuelo.”

Luis hadn't even noticed he’d begun crying, let alone the quiet footsteps from behind him until a small knock on the door allerted him to another presence in the room. He was forced out of his forehead-touching position with Matteo to look around and see Leon leaning against the doorframe; his appearance tired and disheveled with a soft smile still on his face.

“How’s Teo?”

“He’s good,” Luis smiled, whispering lightly.

“I just got him back to sleep.”

Leon made his way to Luis’ side and cupped his Son’s head with one hand, leaning down to press a gentle, cautious kiss on his head.

Luis’ eyes never broke away from Teo’s face, even as Leon leaned his head against his shoulder. The brunette reciprocated, feeling his partner let out a sigh of relief.

“Where’s Chris?”

Luis broke the silence, desperate for some conversation. He felt like he was about to burst into tears if he didn’t talk soon.

“He’s staying with the Winter’s tonight, remember?”

The brunette just hummed at Leon’s response. Ethan Winters; the name sounded familiar. He was pretty sure they were expecting a child soon, too. Chris seemed to be very protective over him; Which seemed deserved after what he heard they’d been through. Luis hoped he’d get to meet them someday.

Another beat of silence.

“…Luis?”

Leon finally spoke up, his voice soft; as if their tender moment was made of porcelain.

“…Are you Ok?”

“I’m fine.” Luis was quick to answer. Too quick. Leon gave him that look and his partner was forced to relent, shaking his head slightly with a small smile. If he wasn’t smiling, he’d probably be crying.

“I will be fine,”

Luis corrected himself. Leon always knew when something was up, and Luis didn’t have the heart (or the energy) to try to lie. He wore his heart on his sleeve in his old age.

“I’m just… I don’t know. Difícul de explicar. Words don’t seem to cut it.”

“I understand.” Was all Leon said in response, snuggling further into the crook of his neck as his hand remained on Teo’s head.

Luis was grateful Leon didn’t try to pry further.

The silence between them, however, was too much for Luis to bear. To keep himself from breaking down and potentially waking Matteo up, he gave his Son one last kiss on the forehead- letting it linger for a couple moments- before slipping him back into his cot and pulling the up blankets over him.

‘Buenes noches, niño hermoso”

He whispered, running the pad of his thumb against his cheeks for a beat before he reluctantly pried himself away from his sleeping Son.

The second he turned around to face Leon, it was like all of the night's anxieties and grief caught up to him in an instant; his body suddenly felt like lead and his eyes stung with tears.

He could barely make out Leon’s expression in the darkness, but he knew from gut instinct alone that it was one of sympathy.

“L-Leon…?”

Luis whimpered, his lips quivering as his eyes welled up.

“D-Do you think my Grandfather w-would be proud of me…?”

Leon’s posture softened in an instant.

“Oh, Luis…”

Luis couldn’t hold it together much longer; he collapsed into Leon’s arms in an instant, feeling awfully small and vulnerable as he cried silently into his partner's shoulder. He could hear Leon murmur some reassuring words from above him, but he couldn’t make them out; the blondes chin rested atop his head as his arms squeezed him tight, rocking Luis back-and-fourth in an attempt to soothe him.

Luis, ironically, felt a little bit like how Teo must’ve been feeling just a moment ago.

“You wanna know something, Luis?”

Leon finally said loud enough for him to hear, pulling away just slightly so he could cup Luis’ face in his hands; wiping away the tears from his cheeks.

“Your Grandfather would be so, so proud of you. I know that for a fact. He would be over the moon for you”

“B-but w-w-what if I’m n-not doing e-enough for T-Teo? I-I j-just w-wanna be like m-mí A-Abuelo..-“

“You’re doing more than enough, Luis. You’re going so above and beyond you have no idea. Listen to me,”

Leon grabbed his chin and forced him to make eye contact.

“You’re not alone. You understand? You have us. And if your Grandfather were still alive, he would be by your side and telling you what an incredible job you’re doing. You are the best Father, understood? Your Grandfather would be so proud of you.”

That was enough for Luis to break down into tired, open-mouthed sobs against Leon’s chest. The two of them had to return to their own bedroom to keep Matteo from waking up; But it was worth it.

Luis stayed curled up against Leon for the entire night, having his hair combed through by his partner's hands as he cried against his shirt.

Luis eventually fell asleep. And for the first time in quite a while, he actually had a decent night's sleep.

He had Leon. He had Chris, and he had Matteo.

He promised to himself that he would make his Grandfather proud.

He would be a good Father to Teo. He would do anything for his beautiful boy.

And nothing in the world could ever change that.

[whiskersz]

Can I request Scaramouche x reader. Where the reader is higher up in the fatui then he is and he's not thrilled about it

Ignore if not Interested <3

hello! thanks for your rq! a few disclaimers though: i don't remember if they said anywhere in the game what the snezhnaya palace looks like, so i just kind of made it up lol.

also this might not be what you wanted so you can rq again being more specific if u want, dw! it kind of turned into a fluff which is my favorite genre, so :')

anyways! enjoy your read <3

Who's Boss - Scaramouche x Reader

You blow on your hot drink in an attempt to cool it down; with the arrival of Autumn the temperatures had began to drop, forcing you to get rid of your summery outfits to make room in your wardrobe for cosier ones.

Though it doesn’t really matter what season it is, because today is your first day in Zapolyarny Palace after a long period of time spent on various missions assigned to you by the Tsaritsa herself, and in Snezhnaya the sun is almost a mirage.

Not to mention, it’s also your first day here as... Scaramouche’s higher up. Yes, after so many years of working and trying to outshine your boyfriend in every kind of task possible, you’ve finally done it, and you’re almost certain he already knows about this assuming by the looks everyone present in the common room is giving you and some things you’ve heard the recruits whisper.

It started as a little friendly competition when you two weren’t even dating, really, but you both thought it was fun and thrilling to challenge each other, so you never stopped even after you got together.

Once you’re done with your drink, you decide it’s time to stand up and go look for him to see his reaction; plus you’re just excited to get to spend some time with him again, since work rarely allows you to even stand in the same room.

You make your way through the hallways and climb a couple flights of stairs, waving to a few people and holding your laugh at the nervous stares some others give you, until you reach a certain door you know very well: it’s sort of distant from the other doors present on this particular floor, which also happens to be the quieter one of the palace, and you notice the same old polished nametag that sits right before your eyes; it reads the name ‘Scaramouche’ followed by his title, the 6thFatui Harbinger.

Before knocking or opening it you make sure to place your ear against the wooden door, but you hear nothing coming from the other side, so you pull away before anyone sees you and finally knock a couple of times.

“I’m busy.”

is the simple answer your boyfriend gives, at which you grab the handle and flung the door open with a wide grin on your face.

He jolts his head up and almost knocks over all the papers and fancy quill pens he must’ve placed on both his sides earlier, clearly startled; he even has to blink twice before realizing who it is that just violated his privacy in such a way.

“What the?! Since when are you here?”

“Oh, so that’s how you’re going to welcome me back?”

He rolls his eyes at your obviously fake pout and opens his mouth to say something, but he closes it immediately as if he just remembered something extremely important. You patiently wait for him to speak up, but instead he quickly tidies up his desk and goes back to his paperwork as if nothing happened. All the while, you stare at him amusedly;

“And you’re not even going to say anything about my promotion? Not even a boring ‘congratulations’?”

He scoffs.

“Welcome and congrats. Are you happy now? Can I do my job?”

“I don’t know, can you?”

You walk closer to him and bend down, resting your head on his shoulder. Anyone else would get frustrated at Scaramouche, but you know he’s acting like this only because he’s a little bit jealous... and perhaps because you forgot to reply to one of his letters? ...You’ll have to check later.

You stay like that for a while, the only noises filling the room being the one of your breaths and the soft buzzing of the quill’s tip against the paper as Scaramouche keeps writing. You scan the words carefully, admiring how his calligraphy makes even the most boring ones look fancy.

A couple of minutes go by and he sighs;

“Has anyone ever told you about personal space?”

He asks, not really expecting a serious answer. You hum as if in deep thought, and then shake your head.

“Thought so.”

“Aw come on, you’re being so mean to me on my first day back here. Do you want me to help you with those by the way?” you point at the big pile of papers on his right, “It looks like a lot to do on your own.”

He puts his quill aside and turns around to face you as you stand still again;

“Are you serious? Take today as a free day, you’ve been around Teyvat for so long I-“

“Oh, was that an order? Should I remind you who’s boss between us now?”

He groans loudly and you let out a laugh;

“Just kidding, I should probably do that. I’ll leave you to your boring paperwork then.”

You give him a quick kiss on the cheek before walking towards the door, now that you think about it you still need to unpack your things and you haven’t even said hi to the other Harbingers as well; you remember how Childe also came back a while ago and in his last letter he asked you to come say hi, even if nowadays he’s busy training rookies. Scaramouche would’ve probably burned that letter to ashes already if he knew about it.

Before you can close the door behind you though, your boyfriend calls your name.

“Huh? What is it?”

“I think I can finish these later actually, it’s not urgent stuff anyways. So...” he trails off.

“So?”

“...So you can tell me about your equally boring missions and how the hell you even managed to get a promotion, I guess.”

You walk back inside with a smile on your face after hearing his words, though you can’t help but mess with him a little more.

“But you looked like you didn’t care just five minutes ago?”

“I still don’t! I just want to look like a good boyfriend.”

He’s joking, and you can clearly tell by the fact that he’s actually returning your smile, something he rarely ever does to anyone but you. He stands up from his desk and, after locking the door, you both walk over to the small leather couch he keeps in his personal office and room, your heart beating a little bit faster at the thought of finally being able to cuddle with your boyfriend.

As you sit and settle down so that your legs and foreheads are touching you glance outside the window, and notice it’s starting to pour. You then look back at Scaramouche, whose eyes are now closed, and you pinch his cheek.

“Don’t fall asleep yet! I have so many things to tell you.”

“Ugh.” He mutters, moving a little closer to you, “Be quick, especiallyif you need to brag.”

[spider-man-2o99]

any 2099 retelling that’s stuffed to burst with uninteresting clones of modern characters marketable new superheroes is doomed to fail from the start because one of the keystones for the whole premise of the original 2099 imprint was that this world doesn’t have any vigilantes after the swift and brutal end to the “normal” contemporary world decades ago.

in earlier books especially, one of the most interesting concepts that the 2099 books tackled was that of people diametric to their modern counterparts but still choosing to fight for societal change whilst living up to the mantle of a long-dead idol. obviously, a good number of the books... weren’t able to really pull that off, in the end, but. the books that did, did it real damn well.

nowadays, it seems like every attempted reboot of marvel 2099 is made solely for the purpose of introducing as many New Characters as possible, instead of trying to further explore or flesh out the world we were given in the original imprint. as a result, they overwhelmingly end up feeling flat, rushed, and undercooked, and people inevitably forget about them within a month or two. hell, when spider-man 2099 got two whole volumes in the present (ca. the mid 2010s), he spent almost none of it actually in the year 2099. spider-man 2099, and they didn’t even let him exist in his own setting. it’s disappointing at best and enough to make me want to rip my fucking hair out at worst.

[venjamin-kingdomhearts]

75 with Sora and Xion and Ven. Also hi ilu <3

Prompt List: Here 75. “Stay with me, I don’t mind.” His chest feels more hollow nowadays than it used to. Then again, a lotta things for Sora are different now. He's died a few times, come back to life, been to some places in-between, and he's lost a few hitchhikers along the way. Maybe he's been so used to having people in his Heart that it hurts to be alone there, trapped in a cage far too big for one boy. But that really hurts to think about, wishing someone could keep him company in his Heart like that. All the people who took refugee in his Heart only fled there because they were hurt.

And Sora doesn't want anyone to hurt again.

So he wears a smile, even though he's been beaten to the ground, dragged through hell, and left to rot away in his own body. Alone. Afraid. Still grinning. (Honestly, everyone's had enough of it by now. Even though Sora's healthy and free and alive, having him back among the land of the living is hard to celebrate when his eyes are more hollow than they were before the face-off against Xehanort. His friends are tired of seeing him hurt. They're tired of watching him smile through the pain.)

Sora's not the only one struggling. Her head feels emptier than it should. Not a surprise, considering the fact Xion needs more room for memories that are hers (not Sora's or Kairi's, just hers), but still a nuisance. Sure, it's nice to not deal with fears that aren't her own, but it's scary to wake up one day and forget what kind of ice cream Kairi likes, or the name of Sora's mother, or just how Sora felt the first time he summoned his Keyblade into his hands. (Now, don't get it wrong; Xion hates having days where her head is so full of other's memories and hopes and dreams that she can't tell her own life from someone else's. It can get cluttered in Xion's brain. She's not great at organizing things, but she does her hardest to remember where her memories are.) Maybe for Xion, the problem is less about being alone, and more about being forgotten and forgetting others. It's scary to be forgotten. To know no one misses you. So losing those memories hurts, because what is a memory but a reminder that someone you love will be remembered?

Sometimes, Sora misses holding those lives that weren't his own. A Heart's a heavy burden, and sometimes you want to forget about your own and worry about someone else's. Sometimes, Xion misses having visions of memories that aren't hers. Knowing another's secrets can bring you down, but the pain's worth it to make sure they're remembered.

Besides. There's not really many people they can turn to, who understand how they're feeling. So, they grin and they bear it. Pretend their problems are theirs alone.

But they’re not alone, obviously.

He feels a lot older than before, but maybe that's how these things are supposed to be. Ventus can't keep pretending he fits in his own body like he should, cause when he really thinks about it, this body was never really his to begin with. He’s still Ventus, but he’d forgotten who he was so many times, that the Ventus of today must’ve been very different than the Ventus that Should Have Been.

Ventus was born centuries ago, his 30th birthday was last year, he's about to turn 18 for real and he's still not sure when his actual birthdate is, having amnesia and all. He's getting older but he's not quite there yet, and with every new day he feels smaller than someone his age(s) should.

See, Ventus isn't as strong as either Sora or Xion. He can’t fake a smile the way Sora can, take on everyone else’s problems as quietly as Xion. When Ventus feels, everyone knows, and maybe a few people (Vanitas. It’s just Vanitas.) call him a Drama Queen.

Ventus is soft. He's emotional. He's easy to read. 

Easy to break.

But it takes one Broken Heart to recognize another. So of course Ventus is the one who seeks them out when he knows they’re having a rough time

It’s one of those nights where every member of Sora’s Heart-mates are on edge, but Ventus had acted quick. Sora’s already half-asleep next to Ven’s lap, a empty cup of hot cocoa resting on the coffee table next to the large sofa they’re crashing on. They’ve got all the blankets Ventus could find in Yen Sid’s Tower piled up next to them, and the TV is on, mostly serving as background noise. When Xion creeps into the den, armed with a bunny plush and wearing her coziest slippers, she’s greeted by that warm sigh of Ventus brushing his hand through Sora’s hair.

She glances at her phone, and Ventus’ text is the first thing she sees.

if youre having a bad night, stay with me. i dont mind <3

Xion looks up, and Ventus smiles warmly. There’s a mug of cocoa waiting for her, and hey, so long as Ventus has a hand free, he can play with her hair, too. Ventus might not be as closely connected to Xion’s Heart as Sora’s is, but he’s perceptive. Of course, he’s the one who sought her out. Asked her how she was feeling. Wanted her here. Remembered her. Xion crawls into place next to him on the couch. Ventus draws her in, wrapping his arm around her without a word. They stare at the TV.  Sora snores. Xion cuddles her plush. And Ventus watches over them, knowing well that they’re hurting, that their smiles are sometimes fake, and they both miss something he would never understand. But he loves them still and always will.

[writemekpop]

Lipstick On Your Collar (Part 1) | Nakamoto Yuta

Pairing: Nakamoto Yuta x Reader

Summary: Till death do us part... But what happens when he cheats?  

Genre: Husband!Yuta, Angst

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: Infidelity, Sexual Content, Body Image

Gif: @yuthereal​

Part 1 ⭐| Part 2  | Part 3 | Part 4

“Ten more minutes, then it’s homework time, alright?” you called to your two older sons, eight and four years old. Caught up in their wooden sword fight, they didn’t even look up.

You smoothed your hand over your face, eyes bruised from lack of sleep. Between your banking job and your three kids, sleep was a rare thing.

Just then, you felt a waft of chill air. Yuta strode in through the front door, his feathery black hair in disarray.

“Hey babe,” you called, shoulders relaxing.

Your husband had this calming presence, your island on a rough ocean. Your chest ached for Yuta’s warmth. You hadn’t hugged, kissed… touched in months.

“Hi, Y/n. We need to talk,” Yuta deadpanned.

You picked up your baby daughter Ayumi. She needed her nappy changed. Bad.

“Alright. What’s up?” You placed her on the changing mat, blowing your fringe out of your eyes.

“I mean in private.” You saw that Yuta’s face was stretched and white. A knot curled in your stomach.

“Nappies?” You lifted your hand. He begrudgingly handed them over.

“Y/n. This is serious.” Yuta’s voice quivered like a taut string.

“Can’t you see I’m busy? What is it?” you snapped. You instantly regretted it. Nowadays, you were always on the edge of an explosion.

“Okay. Fine. I’ve… messed up. And I’m sorry, and I didn’t mean it, but… it’s happened.”

You bin Ayumi’s old nappy, then pull her into your arms. “Is that all? Look, if you’ve broken something, we have insurance.”

“This isn’t a bloody plate! I’ve- I’ve done something awful.”

“Right. Well done. Anyway, I have to help the kids with their homework.”

“Just look at me, Y/n! I’m trying to fucking tell you something!” Yuta’s yell turned your head.

Yuta’s eyes were red-rimmed and wide, like he was in shock. “I… cheated on you, Y/n. I slept with someone else.”

Your heartbeat slowed to a crawl. Instinctively, you pulled your baby close.

“Who is she?”

“Diya. From the school.”

Your lips went numb. You put Ayumi down in her rocker and started rinsing plates in the sink. “How long?”

“Just once. It was a mistake, I swear… it’s just, she was there, and… I didn’t plan it!”

Your chest folded in on itself. While you were kissing your babies to sleep, Yuta was kissing someone else.

“When was it, Yuta?”

“The… day you… went to stay with your sister.”

You’d never forget that day.

It was a few weeks after Ayumi was born. You couldn’t seem to get out of bed, let alone be a good mother. So you’d escaped… just for a day.

While you were breaking apart, Yuta searched out another woman.

“Where?” You picked up the cutlery, letting the hot water scald your skin.

“Her apartment. We met up after work, and one thing led to another… I swear, that was all.”

Images burned into your mind, like a flashed camera. Yuta’s fingernails scraping the back of her neck, like he did to you. Their naked bodies gyrating, sweaty, the smell of sex saturating everything…

Your throat convulsed in a retch. For a second, it was like a brick was hitting your chest.

Then, everything stopped.

You felt a curtain dropping. You didn’t have time to deal with this. Not now. As quickly as they came, the feelings slowed. Drooped. Vanished.

You looked down. You were clenching a table knife so hard it had drawn blood. You let go.

Everything blurred. You felt like a kid again, staring up at yourself from the bottom of a pool.

Your voice was a croak. “Obviously, we’re not telling the kids. My parents are coming next week – so we can’t tell them either.”

You dried your hands and looked up at Yuta. His mouth was hanging open, like a cartoon character’s. It was almost funny.

You continued speaking, bunging toys into a basket.

“If you want a divorce, tell me now, because we’ll have to borrow money. For tonight, I’ll take the bed, you have the couch.”

“What the hell, Y/n?”

You jolt and look up. “Fine! You can have the bed.”

Yuta grabbed your shoulders, knife-cheekboned and wild. “I don’t care about the fucking bed! I just told you I cheated on you. Why aren’t you mad?”

You stared at his hands on your skin, like you didn’t recognise them. Yuta spotted your gaze, and slowly let go.

“I’m really sorry, Y/n. I want to fix this. But you need to let me in.”

You looked into his chestnut eyes and frowned. Why was he being so obnoxious?

Slowly, you spelled it out. “You cheated on me. It was with our kids’ tutor, while I was sick. You’re sorry. You won’t do it again. Now can I go and make dinner?”

Yuta blinked. Slowly. Then, he gulped and gave you a slight nod. “Yep.”

You pushed past him, and called out, “Whoever helps mummy with dinner gets ice cream!”

You ushered your eager kids towards the hob. You didn’t look back, but you felt Yuta’s gaze on the back of your head. Stunned.

------

You plastered on your brightest smile all throughout dinner, whilst laying out bedding on the couch for yourself, even whilst tucking your children into bed.

Now, you were sitting in your children’s room, with the lights out. You’d just finished reading their bedtime story. They were fast asleep.

Finally, you let the iron screen lift from your heart. Instead of fighting it, you bared the most vulnerable part of yourself.

It was a memory: you were in Paris with Yuta on the first night of your honeymoon. You were in a mid-range Travel Lodge – the best you could afford – with rain pelting at the windows.

You had woken up at 11AM, tangled up with Yuta from your cuddling. You’d talked, worried, agonised about it, but you’d never had sex with him before.

Yuta opened one sleepy eye and felt your body with his hands, as if he was checking if it was there. You tingled with lust to the tips of your toes. Suddenly, you knew the moment was right.

For once, you didn’t care about your tummy that you always tried to hide, you didn’t care about your thighs which rubbed together when you walked.

You didn’t think about anything, except the feeling of Yuta’s slow kisses, the feeling of him inside of you, the feeling of his hands reaching to the very ends of you.

You were in a hazy, golden pool of completeness. As you gasped your worries, apologies, in each other’s ears, you became whole in a way you’d never known before.

Then, the memory shattered. And in its place, before you could stop it, was the image that was burnt into your eyelids.

It played over and over again, the trailer to a movie of your shame. Yuta in her apartment, the thumping of the bedposts, him between her legs, her exclamations of ‘yes!’, that were only echoed by him moaning her name…

You screamed silently into your fist.

You knew the real reason Yuta cheated on you. Whatever excuses he made, it wasn’t a mistake or a drunk one-off.

You grabbed the soft flesh around your waist. This was why. You thought of the nights you’d told him you were too tired, that you weren’t in the mood. That was why.

You couldn’t even blame Yuta. He was only compensating for the fact that his own wife would never be attractive enough, good enough, just enough for him.

The tears rose up your throat, making your head pound and your cheeks stretch with sobs. You wanted nothing more than to drown yourself in these tears, though you knew they wouldn’t wash the pain away.

Then, you caught a grey glimmer in the darkness. Your youngest boy, Nico, was wide awake and watching you with saucer eyes.

“Hey baby… go back to sleep,” you whispered, quickly smoothing away your tears.

“Are you crying, mummy?”

The softness in his gaze was like a punch in the stomach. You choked down another wave of tears. “No, sweetie, I’m fine. Go back to sleep okay?”

Obediently, he closed his eyes. You didn’t deserve such beautiful children.

You were doubled over, silent in the darkness. You pressed your palms into your eyes, so hard they hurt, and forced the tears back.

You couldn’t even make your husband love you.

What hope did you have with your kids?

------

Three days had passed since that terrible night.

It was 10PM, and the house was unusually quiet.

You and Yuta were sitting at the far edges of the couch, the Netflix episode you never missed playing on the TV.

Both of you were pretending like nothing had gone wrong.

“So… how was work?” Yuta’s cautious voice broke the silence.

You sighed and shook your head. “Just get me a drink.” You couldn’t be bothered with this charade. But at least you could drown your feelings.

“Are you sure that’s a good-” Yuta began.

“Just get it.”

He returned with a whisky, with two ice cubes. Your heart twisted. “You remembered?”

“How could I forget my wife’s favourite drink?” Yuta gave you a thin smile, and for a second, you forgot to ice him out. You smiled back.  

That was two whiskies ago. Now, the gap between the two of you on the sofa had shrunk.

You were laughing so hard your eyes were teary.

“Do you remember, Y/n? Your shirt was on backwards, my pants were on the other side of the room, we were moaning so loud half the theme park could hear us!”

You dried your eyes, sighing. “I bet we scarred a few kids for life that day…”

Yuta’s lip curled up in a smile that sent your heart racing.

You looked down. Subconsciously, your hand was massaging Yuta’s denim-clad knee. You retracted it.

“God, we really knew how to have fun, didn’t we?” You could barely remember the time before you had your three children. It was rose-coloured.

“I mean, Disneyland was nothing. Remember Taeyong’s attic? The nightclub bathroom? I could go on…”

“Ahh!” You mimed blocking your ears. “There are kids in the house, you know!”

In doing so, you lost your grip on your whisky glass, which was balanced on your knee. Yuta grabbed it before it fell, and his hand was suddenly on your thigh.

He let go, and you cleared your throat.

That was hours back. Now, you were having difficulty sitting straight. You’d lost count of how many whiskies you’d downed.

You grabbed Yuta by the shoulders and shook him. “Look! Let’s just get it out of the way. ASAP, straight, completo. No regrets.”

For the first time in ages, your blood was running warm with more than alcohol. The worn denim of Yuta’s jeans was pulling your gaze southward.

“Get what out of the way? You’re not making sense, Y/n.”

You pulled the pin out of your hair and let it fall over your shoulders. “The big three-letter.”

Yuta looked at you, still bewildered. “What?”

“SEX.”

The glass fell from Yuta’s hand.

To be continued…

Part 1 ⭐| Part 2  | Part 3 | Part 4