#tw nccsa

[takami-takami]

Tw csa

Would you guys be mad at me if I wrote a fic about Hawks being a survivor of noncontact csa (not canon, but ya know, my thoughts) to cope with my own, like would you guys be upset at me and flambast me with hammers and accost me. Would you throw me to the wolves and kick and pummel me in the streets

I'm gonna write it anyway, but idk if I should post it, because if someone else wrote about him and this topic 5 years ago and I saw it i think i would crash out upon seeing it mentioned. I wanna do more good than harm, if that makes sense. Don't wanna actually trigger somebody that bad. I know it would have fucked me up to see discussions like that and I know someone is gonna ignore the tws. But like, it's very helpful for me to get this out of my system. Just dont know if i should post it or not.

[unstablemotions]

i don't know much about what happened. it didn't happen to me

tw // incest, csa, alcoholism, grooming

my grandma and grandpa would abuse their own daughters. emotionally, physically and sexually. i know my grandpa beat my mom so bad she would faint. i know he molested my aunt

my grandma had a daycare when my mom and her sister were still kids. the kids were abused by my grandma. i don't know in what ways, but i have my guesses

my grandma later worked with elderly people at a retirement home. most of these people she took care of had dementia. she might have abused them too, but i don't know

my grandma used to take care of me as a kid pretty often. i used to love her. i loved the attention she gave me and how special she made me feel, but it also felt gross. i remember her telling me she loved me more than my sister and that it was our secret. i got upset she'd say that about my little sister. i started to notice the red flags. she was so controlling and manipulative, but i was 5 or even younger. i don't remember

she'd always want me to perform for her like a circus monkey. i needed to be a perfect little pretty girl who was smart and charming. she wanted me to dance for her. she wanted me to show off. she would slap my ass and talk about how petite it was. when i hit puberty, she'd start talking about my breasts with my mom and how big they were. it made me feel gross. they wanted me to be an alluring little lolita who they could live through

i also remember masturbating every night from when i was maybe 4? i would imagine myself getting killed by a monster while doing it and then play dead and try to see how dead i could seem. i'd hold my breath and keep my eyes open a little. my genitals would be sore from it. i don't know why i did this, but i knew it was "wrong" and i was ashamed. i remember my mom putting a cream on my genitals, i think because they had a rash. don't remember if it was from me masturbating, poor hygiene or something else. i don't remember the name of the cream, but i remember the smell and the tube. it was something from the pharmacy

i don't think my grandma is a pedophile. like i don't think she's attracted to children. i think she's a sadist who likes hurting people and she just picks the easiest target. i never got to know my grandpa since my grandma divorced him long before i was born because of his alcoholism. i don't know if he had any other sexual victims than his two daughters. maybe he has more kids than them now

i know my grandma has also experienced severe abuse, including sexual, as a young child. i know why she turned out like this. my mom is more tragic, because i see my mom wanting to be better than her mom, but then she repeats what her mom did. my mom is definitely not as evil, but she's still abusive

just a trauma dump to get some things off my chest. idk what to do with this information. i fall kinda in between all the help for csa survivors in my country since i don't think i was sexually abused "enough" to really fit their help programs. it was mostly me growing up knowing my grandpa molested my aunt and then more nccsa. like more emotional incest than physical things. this is all very confusing and i don't want to talk with my siblings about it. i don't want to trigger their potential traumas and destabilise them. i don't want to worry them before they're ready to talk. i feel lonely and like im going insane

[csaventing]

Going through old chats where you were being abused is really… indescribably painful. But I could set boundaries and I did. They just weren’t respected at all, ever. No wonder I stopped setting boundaries after that and all that fell down to 0. I hate my history and what has happened to me.

[chemicalcarousel]

We have trauma related to being "smart". It was used to groom us because we wanted the approval of adults who said that we were "special" for being so intelligent for our age. We had a hard time making friends and we were bullied in school. We possibly had these problems because we might be autistic, but back then we were told we were just "too smart" to get along with those other kids. And it was always the adults who gave us attention and praised us. Called us clever, funny, mature, charming, beautiful, sexy. The other kids our age didn't like us and we didn't understand why. We wanted to impress the adults and make them proud, even if it did feel icky sometimes. We just wanted to be the perfect little girl, who was both highly intelligent and extremely charming whom our mommy and grandma could be proud of. And they were. And when they were satisfied I would have less of a chance of me or my siblings being abused further. If I just played my role whenever the order sounded

It is hard when something that's supposed to be a compliment is now something that makes you tense up. Idk man, just needed to get it off my chest. I wish I has just been treated like a kid

[borderline-culture-is]

tw grooming, nccsa, vent kind of

//

bpd culture is realising that all ur fps in the past have been ur groomers. maybe they could just sense how desperate we were for their affection that they just used us up until they got bored of it. both of them left in the middle of the night, but at least one of them gave an explanation. still hurt. i miss them. -🪐🫀

.

[burgerouppy]

i hate it when they tricked me into being dirty, that wasn't nice. i hate that they might still have those photos of me, i hate that they threatened to show them to my friends, i hate that its my fault for seeking them out, i hate loving attention, i hate you, i hate everyone involved, i hate you, i hate you, i hate you

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

I don’t know how much you, as one account and not a mental health professional, really have a right to tell people whether what they experienced ‘counts’ as csa/cocsa/nccsa. what makes you/y’all more capable of making that judgement than anyone else

Hi anon,

I appreciate your concern. It's important to recognize that we never claim to be more capable of anything, but nobody needs to be a mental health professional to recognize what abuse is and isn't. That being said, some of us are mental health professionals. Ultimately it's up to survivors to name their own experiences, but we offer guidance and validation regardless.

I hope this could clear some things up. Please know that our inbox is open to you if you have anything on your mind.

-Bun

[moldybits]

um i. need to talk to my therapist about like. online nccsa. but i don’t even know where to begin

[virtuallybug]

Being back in the childhood room I was groomed 3 times in sure is doing a number to my mental health

[csaventing]

Sometimes I convince myself it didn’t really traumatize me, it was all online, it wasn’t that bad, and then I have a string of panic attacks for over three hours because I thought about it a little too hard.

So relateable.

[survivingcocsa]

COCSA / CSA TW ahead

this is a side vent blog for my COCSA and CSA trauma I endured since I was a child. I was S. abused by both adults and other minors.

u can send vent asks anon or not up to u. vent about ur trauma relating to one of the following: cocsa, csa, csem, online nccsa, nccsa, nccocsa. if u dont know what the terms mean u can ask me or look them up in the tags usually only work with a "tw" or "cw" before or after the word.

[newsjunctions]

What is March Madness How Does It Work

March Madness is a widely celebrated collegiate basketball tournament in the United States, known officially as the NCAA Division I Men’s Basketball Tournament. It’s a single-elimination tournament featuring 68 teams that compete across seven rounds for the national championship. The tournament is famed for its unpredictability and has become a cultural phenomenon, with fans filling out brackets to predict the outcomes of the games.

Here’s a detailed breakdown of March Madness:

Selection Process

The tournament begins with Selection Sunday, where the NCAA Selection Committee selects and seeds the 68 teams. The selection process is based on various criteria, including regular-season records, strength of schedule, and performance in conference tournaments.

The Bracket

The bracket is the heart of March Madness, a visual representation of the tournament’s games. It’s divided into four regions, each with 16 teams seeded from 1 to 16. The bracket includes the “First Four,” the “Round of 64,” the “Round of 32,” the “Sweet Sixteen,” the “Elite Eight,” the “Final Four,” and the championship game.

The First Four

The tournament kicks off with the First Four, where eight of the lowest-seeded teams compete in four games to fill the remaining slots in the Round of 64.

Rounds of 64 and 32

The Round of 64 and Round of 32 follow, where the true madness begins. Higher-seeded teams are matched against lower-seeded teams. Upsets are common, and a lower-seeded team’s victory over a higher-seeded team is often termed a “Cinderella story.”

Sweet Sixteen and Elite Eight

In the Sweet Sixteen and Elite Eight, teams compete within their regions for a spot in the Final Four. These rounds are critical, and the intensity of the tournament increases as the field narrows.

Final Four

The Final Four is the culmination of the regional competitions, with the winners of each region competing in a national semifinal. The two victorious teams move on to the championship game.

Championship Game

The Championship Game is the grand finale of March Madness, where the two remaining teams battle for the title of national champion.

The Cinderella Story

March Madness is known for its “Cinderella stories,” where underdog teams defy the odds and advance further than expected. These stories add to the excitement and unpredictability of the tournament.

The Impact of March Madness March Madness has a significant influence on American culture. It is a time when college basketball fans come together to support their teams, engaging even those who are not typically interested in sports.

The Economics of March Madness The event is a significant economic phenomenon, with billions of dollars bet on game results. It brings in substantial income for the NCAA from TV rights, ads, and ticket sales.

Conclusion

March Madness is more than just a basketball tournament; it’s a cultural event that captures the attention of the nation every spring. It embodies the spirit of competition and the joy of the game, making it one of the most beloved sporting events in the United States.

This overview provides a glimpse into the complexity and allure of March Madness. For a full 2000-word article, each section would be expanded with historical examples, statistics, and stories that highlight the tournament’s unique place in sports history.

Click Here READ MORE

DISCLAIMER :

Some links attached.

[fawnbaits]

it’s so weird how if you’re groomed once, you chase it for the rest of your life. i thought i’d be twelve and desirable forever, and here i am now, and here i am and i dont matter to the men that killed me and made me reborn because there’s always younger, always more of a thrill.

the red gingham, thigh highs, milkshakes, and motels turned into oversized hoodies and therapy offices. turned into boyfriends saying they were sorry about what happened to me, but i need to grow up. turned into grief.

the one thing that never fell apart was my tween heart, still beating for anyone to eternally care for me. still fantasizing of roadtrips and saddleshoes and bubblegum, with a part of my soul tainted with jealousy that i am now too old. i gained 50 pounds, i hit the wall. they ask if im in my 20s. i still say im 14.

i can chat up a man on kik but it’s not the same, not the same as being told i was a secret, not the same as when they were filthy for touching me, not me for touching them.

in the dead of night in my room, sometimes– when everyone is asleep, when there is no one to hear me cry– i lay on the floor, and watch Lolita. i’m in eighth grade again. i do stupid things and don’t think about how it’ll hurt me forever, because i never planned to live that long anyway. & he’s still there, stroking my hair, and i crack a joke about how i’ll tell the police if he ever leaves me. he pinky swears.

sometimes, in the dead of night in my room, im twelve years old again. i dont tell anyone this secret, where i fall asleep to Pretty Baby and fade into a dream where i am still wanted. i dont tell anyone this secret, where i beat and buried myself inside my own soul, used as a canvas and now trapped as a collage of abuse. it’s so weird how if you’re groomed once, you chase it for the rest of your life.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hiya there. was hoping for some reassurance/comfort. (mentions of abuse and bullying but no in-depth detail)

i've experienced quite a lot of bullying as well as about a year of no contact sexual abuse from a previous partner (i was about 13-14 and he always about a year older than me).

ever since i was 11 i knew that something was wrong with me (in the mental health sort of way) but it's taken a long time for me to get help. i was referred to our mental health services and bounced around for a short time (between a short-term therapy service, the overarching service, and an early-intervention psychosis service) before i had an 'urgent' psychiatric assessment. however then i was immediately discharged via letter and was told it was all due to my autism (professionally diagnosed).

i feel as though i failed my 11 year old self. we have (suspected) DID so there is a sense of disconnect (even though im 90% sure that was me) but it still feels like i didn't work hard enough. it's not necessarily my wish to get help (suspected szpd reasons) but it's what they wanted and i pushed through all that uncomfortable stuff for them only to be immediately turned away. i can feel it eating at me constantly and my mother doesn't seem too bothered. i don't know what to do and it makes me feel like im a fake. i don't really know how to perceive myself.

-mika (please tag it as such if you post this too please)

Hi Mika,

I'm sorry to hear about everything you've been through, not only in the abuse you suffered but your struggles with getting proper mental health treatment.

Unfortunately, accessing effective and affordable mental healthcare can be needlessly difficult, and often just adds to the ongoing mental health challenges. I'm sorry that you've experienced this first-hand. Please know that none of this is your fault, and in fact I'm proud of you for attempting to advocate for yourself, both your health and your needs.

While it's perfectly valid to feel discouraged, invisible, or insignificant, it can also be incredibly rewarding to continue to try and find the care you deserve. But it's ultimately important to give yourself patience and compassion as you navigate this system, both institutional and possibly internal as well.

If anyone would like to add any comments or suggestions, feel free to do so. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[imhatsunemikurealz]

The worst part is how I saw gore and porn as a kid didn't feel traumatizing, I actively sought it out after being exposed to it by that girl. I enjoyed it. I don't know why. I always think I'm getting better but then I end up thinking about her. How she kissed my hand, her interests, her smile, her cute British accent, her pink glasses, her beautiful dark skin, everything. the worst part is that I miss her, after all of what she's done to me. I was 8. I don't feel justified saying I was abused by her because our relationship was so muddy, she never touched me inappropriately, we were both children. The closest it got was her touching my chest. I know she was older than me, but I don't know by how much. I think she was 12. And I remember how she got all our friends to hate me when we finally 'broke up' so to speak. She would say I was like her sister, but then say she wanted to get married when we got older. I called her my friend. I think that once I even used the word "love". The worst part is I think I was in love with her.