#one of my friends called me in a panic
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the clip of chris eating while matt tells him abt his nightmare in the new video had me wettt like chris just looked buffer in a way and he made that fork look so small in his hand 😭😭😭
LORDDDDDD I NEED TO GET HOME AND WATCH THAT GODDAMN VIDEO
#bambi's asks#i know i know#bambi why haven't you watched the new vid yet#i was on an adventure okay#one of my friends called me in a panic#she found a fake nail and pink lipstick and blonde hairs#in her boyfriends bed#she doesn't need or use any of those things#so i grabbed my other friend and we raced across town#and we got there just as her boyfriend got back from work#it was wild#he didn't cheat tho#there was a logical explanation for all of it#then we went to get ice cream#but yeah i was BUSY IM SORRY#bambi slxt#bambi yaps
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Shinsou: I hate all those things that were like, “they used to be so strong and funny…. ThEn [insert trauma here], now they are a shell of what they once were”
Shinsou: I can be traumatized and still be strong and funny. I’m the funniest fucker I know
Tsuyu: yesterday you said that you wanted to enter a coma so you didn’t have to deal with an authority figure being mad at you again
Shinsou: both can be true, am I not allowed to have duality, tsuyu??
#he’s fine he just has to be dramatic about it first#it’s so okay it not like I have a panic attack when an authority figure looks at me#that’s crazy I’d never nope not me#Aizawa is probably the current authority figure for shinsou#tsuyu is not afraid to check her on her friends mental health and we love to see that#what a lad#she’ll call bullshit without a second thought#anyway. I saw one too many things about Ellie being strong and funny until ‘David broke her’ and fuck that bullshit#as someone who has been abused their entire life that stuff makes me mad as hell#that being said. if that’s what someone needs to do to cope. I bid them the best of luck and all of my love and support#bnha#mha#incorrect mha quotes#incorrect my hero academia quotes#mha incorrect quotes#bnha incorrect quotes#incorrect bnha quotes#shinsou is in the izucrew#shinsou hitoshi#asai tsuyu#incorrect izucrew#izucrew#izucrew as family
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Hi Becca! I would literally die for you blog. It’s my go to any time I need some good self care😉. You’re incredibly talented!
But I’ve had this idea bouncing around in my head. It boils down to just Bucky and cock warming. Like the reader is on him begging for more but he is just having way to much fun playing with their clit to start moving. Making them cum on him with out thrusting once.
Just an idea I thought you might like. I love you work, have a great day!!
I'm really glad you've been enjoying my stuff so much!! That's so sweet!💗 and I keep getting told I can get ✨filthier✨ so I'd love to mess with this is little bit
Because I love the thought of Bucky making you start off with a dildo that's just a little bit smaller in size than he is. Maybe one of those dildos with a suction cup on the bottom so it's stuck on a wooden chair.
"Good girl, take it all." He encourages, kneeling between your legs, watching your cunt greedily swallow the toy. It's a sight he doesn't often get to see and he's really not sure why he doesn't make a point of watching it more often.
You whine quietly, feeling the toy bottom out. Your ass makes contact with the cool, varnished wood beneath you and you can't help but roll your hips a little, enjoying the feeling of the tip rubbing against your velvety walls.
"If I wanted you to fuck yourself on that, I'd tell you to. Did I tell you to?" Bucky's voice has a sharp edge that almost knocks you out of your daze.
"N-no... But-" You begin, trying to justify your movement but he cuts you off.
"No. So don't. I want you to keep your cunt stuffed and take what I give you." He watches up at you as he presses your knees apart, keeping his eyes on your face until he can't bare it anymore.
You gasp quietly at the feeling of his hot breath on your exposed, slick sex and there's nothing you can do but whimper at the feeling of his tongue gently grazing your clit.
Fuck, it's good. It's not long before he's licking you like he's starving, lapping and sucking gently on your clit before forcing your legs wider apart to lick your arousal from the base of the toy.
"Bucky, please. Please let me move." You didn't mean to sound so pathetic but with each lick, you get closer and closer to an orgasm you won't be able to stop. An orgasm you've been warned you're not allowed to have.
You're almost surprised he takes pity on you, giving you permission to get off the toy. He removes it from the chair and sits down in it's place, offering his cock as a replacement.
You sit back down as you had earlier with your back to his chest but you can't help but feel amazed at how much better his dick feels. He's slightly bigger and while that's nice, nothing beats the way he throbs inside you and the hot, breathy groans against your ear at the feeling of your body taking all of him.
"Such a good girl." He smirks against your neck, littering your skin with kisses between his soft praises. You feel one of his hands on your chin, gently directing you to look to your right, over in the direction of the full length mirror.
The reflection you're looking at makes your walls flutter involuntarily because fuck, you really are stuffed full of his cock and he's making sure you're not able to fully enjoy it yet.
With one hand still holding your head in place, making sure you keep watching, Bucky's free hand trails down between your legs, flicking and rubbing your clit again.
"Oh f-fuck." You whine, watching Bucky's smirk widen. You can't sit still. You just can't. You want to grind your hips and take what you need and in that moment, his pleasure and all the instructions he's given you come second. You need to get off, consequences be damned.
"Don't even fucking think about it." He warns, delivering one harsh slap to your clit. It's not overly hard but it's enough to shock you. "You know you're not allowed to cum. I want to feel this pretty pussy dripping first. Don't worry though. Once you're wet and messy enough, I'll fuck you stupid on the carpet, right in front of the mirror. Want you to watch yourself cum so hard you forget your own name."
#asks answered <3#anon#becca writes spice#Bucky Barnes x reader smut#Bucky Barnes smut#I was so close to writing this with Steve instead of a toy#I had the first class of the year for my LLM last thursday besties#and my lecturer called me 'Rachel' at one point#I couldn't help but laugh#I was DREADING that class#who schedules a class from 10am to 4pm??#that's hideous#But I went early and I got chatting to my lecturer#I'd never met her before and we were the only two in the room#so I was honest when she asked how I was feeling about the semester#cause I was ANXIOUS but she was lovely about it#and by the end of the class I'd made a few friends 🥺#so my big panic on Wednesday night was all for nothing#will I learn anything from that?? Probably not.#I'll still be terrified the night before my next class for no reason
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ughhh I need to stop having mental breakdowns over little things.
#vent in tags#chat sesh with iris#vent#tw vent#I feel like everyone hates me and even you all hope I die and nobody likes my ships bc everyone thinks I’m not good enough for my f/os#and the worst part is that none of it is unfounded!!!#none of my friends are talking to me AT ALL anymore even when I start conversations#(including in text)#while they actively talk to other people WHERE I CAN SEE IT!!!#only one of my friends is and all they do is send me anti bs and go ‘omggg these people are so weird!!!’ about like anyone who ships with-#certain characters (including ones that I SHIP WITH!!! which is why I don’t talk about it other than here)#people are like ‘omggg… I hate it when men like these characters. you don’t get them and they’d never love you.’ about my f/os#which triggers dysphoria and self loathing and fear about my ships#tw suicidal ideation#<- somewhat#I don’t like anything about myself and I don’t deserve anything that I have#man. I don’t even want to be here anymore#also I have severe mental illness that has caused a lack of possibility for happiness that lasts longer than fleeting moments#I have not spoken (like aloud) to anyone other than my parents since THE THIRD!!!#I’m going to ask my psychiatrist for testosterone on Wednesday but idek if I’m gonna make it until then#probably I will because I’m too depressed to gather the energy to do it#also she might even say no or not be able to prescribe it#and this isn’t even why I’m the most upset rn but I REALLY need a win#also my mom was like ‘you haven’t given me another name so I’ll just keep calling you the name I gave you 😊😊😊.’ instead of. idk. asking me?#tw suicide#okay yeah the tag is fully warranted now#I like know how I’d do it and everything#I also had a panic attack because I couldn’t find my quilt hashtag just autism things!!!#not takeover#obviously
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#i was so proud yesterday to have managed my panic attack on my own.#i thought i also had managed to do the right thing but turns out it wasn't the best thing i could have done.#today is trying to get rid of the feeling that life is.#im afraid of going home because i feel like i have stepped back so much. that im a weight. that it's annoying that people have to bear wit#all that of me#im sorry... im sorry. i don't have more answers. sometimes someone tell you they have a bad day and you ask them why and your friend will#just tell you. ''idk. im sad today and depressed''. and it's just that. i think. is it justme?#i feel like such a waste#i thought i had had a good breakthrough w my psychiatrist; trying to go with that sensitivity. but turns out im still. it doesnt change the#fact that its stupid and beyond understanding. sigh.#my life is not running away my life is not running away. it feels like it but it doesnt. this too shall pass this too shall pass#stuff that's been built won"t just waste away. everyone has something going on it's called life#i know i have to tell myself it's all in my head. and i am. but. but. but. im still scared#(therapist voice: what purpose is this fear serving? loved one being angry or annoyed at me. are they? it seems like it.) (i am loved this#oo shall pass)#(mantra)#dni dnid dni
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today was such a Full day i
-went on a hike w my dear friend -writing day at boba shop (700 words!! not MANY but a not nothing amount!!) -reward barnes and noble trip (got book i’ve been eyeing!!) -ZOOM home to pick up dear friend’s younger brother to take him to his job -have a freakout and cry a lil because my dad TOOK MY CAR WITHOUT TELLING ME AND LOST MY KEYS and i had to be there in twenty minutes but i found the spare keys in the laundry room -babysit five kids for four hours. there is a lot of mud and climbing into washing machines involved. parents come home before I can deep clean the house :(
and now I am home and should probably like sleep or something but I am Wired. slaps day this bad boy can fit So Many Events
#this isn’t a rant OR a brag#i’m just impressed at how many things i managed to cram into one day#on five hours of sleep#when I didn’t really have any deadlines and thus there was no need for me to do all that#oh also my friend called me while working herself up to a panic attack#that i kinda eased her out of#but that was quick
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i need to vent about something that happened and i’ll do it in the tags of this post and i dont really know how to trigger it but it may be triggering so yeah maybe dont read it idc i just need to talk to the void
#how many fucking times do i have to say no for you to fukcing understabd it#we’ve talked avout this so many times you’ve been told by more than one prrson how that makes me uncomfortable#and you still try something in my party and in front of mu whole fucking family?#and you clearly dont care about me at all you just want to kiss me or even more than that and thats the whole fucking reason you even talk t#to me#bc if you cared in the slightest you wouldnt keep trying and trying and trying#knowing damn well how uncomfortable it makes me#to the point that i had a panic attack at my own fucking party bc you wouldnt leave#literally had to call the building security guard to make you leave#and you still call yourself my friend?#fuck you#im so glad i dont have to see you anymore#and what makes this even sadder is that you were a great friend or whatever#talking to you has always been lovely#but just bc im a lesbian and im single does not mean i fucking want you#ive made it more than clear that i dont#youve been at it for a whole year. half of which you were in a relationship mind you#so fuck you#leave me the fuck alone
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i so sad
#thoughts#i think im having like a panic attack or something#like#something attack#i dont want to talk to anyone anymore i keep messing things up#i called a mentally ill person disgusting because i didnt see their other anon confessions in the server about their mental illnesd#they menyioned how they shower once a month#and i saw that i didnt see the other messages#i asked them how they didnt get uncomfortable “being that disgusting”#i meant it like. The feeling of#Not having taken a shower in a month. I didnt want to imply they were inherently disgudsting for their mental illness and everyone was like#wow rayman what the fuck is wrong with you why would you say that about someone. and they vented about me in the vent channel#it was a horrible thing for me to say and like yesterday i also fucked up i said mean shit to someone. I dont know whats wrong with me why i#cant stop doing bad things. i need to kill myself or something i need to lock myself away so other people dont get hurt by me#i was clawing at my head crying hitting myself with my knuckles because i just fucking loathed myself i pretend im so happy and like yeah im#happy but like really i fucking hate myself so so much more than anything in the world the only reason im not dead is because i love this#world enough to stay on it. i hate myself so much. i get so so sad when i look in the mirror because im not who i am im no one im always#trying to be a person or something when im nothing im so worthless coping off the “smart” compliments i got in 2nd grade when in reality im#just some stupid fucking rancid asshole with rage anxiety lonlieness stewing in my soul for 5 years i cant be normal around anyone im not#supposed to be friends with anyone i shouldnt have a partner he needs to kill me i need him to beat me over the head with a shovel and keep#beating me and stabbbing me with it until im alll brutally mauled unrecognizable and he should call me worthless the whole time and i#deserve it
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okay now that im actually confronting it this makes a whole lotta sense that im going to continue to ignore
#this is about the system thing. btw.#damien the oc and damien the oc take two (different guy) (sekai edition) and the whole ass guy in my head are all different i think#izza flick is somewhat a fictive of a character called felicity shortened to flick and the hsr mc for some fucking reason#plus is the reincarnation of the og izza who died(?) i think#izzabelle felicity oswold why the fuck did you call yourself that#and shes not the same as erryn the oc but i think erryn is her projecting#gosh this is confusing#no yeah and i think. eilis is the host aka the one in control of the actual body. i think everyone else just tells her what to do#shes not very present i dont think. kinda like a mech iykwim? whats that fuckin anime i watjced a year and a half ago called#uh. yeah#i think izza flick is fronting most of the time?#the og izza was vaugely a fictive of akari from p:la#but also akari just exists too#an shiraishi and nemona nolastname have fusion'd steven universe stylei think#akitos there and hes really gay. uh. at least one person is happy about that.#shihos in there but doesnt wanna speak to anyone i think she is napping just forever and occasionally yells that we need to learn basse#kohanes there too yep yep. creates a panic attack then leaves like the wonderful friend she is#no i think.she does most of our schoolwork. and is also the nicest. so theres that#im gonna. shut up now before i think too hard. nope there is One Guy in here thats Me. Yep huh. shut up.#actually i think og izza is still there to deal w relatives and thats why im thinking about this now#idk#if she is shes very stressed about everything ever. idk. i dknt fukcing know
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havent hit the straw that broke the camels back yet but by GOD are we getting there
#''''friend'''' of mine just got me a portable fan#because he and my other friend already had one and he wanted me to join them in ''being less sweaty''#on a related note i have had at least 3 panic attacks in the last couple weeks based on the last time he called me sweaty#i hate it here#vent post
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this morning we had car trouble (oil light kept turning on, even after refilling), now we have water leaking down our living room wall because the drain for the washing machine wasn't placed correctly.
I've been bawling my eyes out all afternoon. I am so incredibly tired and hormonal, my brain just crashes.
#my friend brought babe home & my dad can pick babe up and drop him off at the garage tomorrow. that was one thing handled.#after a shower and a good cry i'm finally sitting on the couch after putting on a load of laundry when i hear dripping#i look behind me and the fresh white paint is just watering down. i run upstairs in a panic#turn off the washing machine. babe grabs the last towels that I had unpacked to dry the puddle that had formed#we called the cooperation and the guy who relocated the supply and drains is available to come over tomorrow#i. am. so. freaking. done.#i'm defeated
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how it feels getting trapped in a sleep paralysis/false awakening loop for 40 minutes while trying to take a nap right before having to make a phone call
#this made less and less sense the more i worked on it and the more the memory faded#didn't see a demon or anything (couldn't open my eyes) but hallucinated for the first time ever someone?#presumed it was my friend or sibling or something someone who could feasibly get in my room#poking me in the ribs bc they thought it was funny (it was not)#was going to try to find an emoji or one of those meme faces but i don't think it would have worked as well#so hurrah first my art im posting exclusively to this blog#literally the ONLY thing in one of the loops that indicated it being a dream was where in the previous loop i moved my water bottle#and it was in the same place that i moved it into the previous loop#the fuckiest thing was i was trying to take deep breaths to not panic but i couldn't control my lungs or airways or anything#so it was a lot like when you surface from water and there's that vacuum and you try to suck in air#but there's nothing there so there's that massive disconnect of what you expect to what you feel and ofc that makes it worse#but also when i was trying to exhale and my body (on autopilot) was inhaling#that phone call went surprisingly well considering i was like only 40% sure it was even real#i'm like still only 60% this is real some of those loops were scarily realistic#yikes#i uh don't like this feeling#i really didn't like that#sleep paralysis#false awakening loop#eggsistential draws#my art#eggsistential speaks#tag rant
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Those relationships where the characters are amicable exes who broke it off bc one or both had their respective traumas/emotional burdens they didn't want the other to feel responsible for, so they ended up repressing it all to the point where the distance that began to grow between them as a result was too insurmountable that they decided it was best to end things so, in their minds, the other could be free to pursue happiness without being 'burdened' by them. But both are even now still so very much in love with each other or at the very least hold a tender fondness and particularly Special protectiveness for each other that everyone can clearly see, no matter how much the two deny or brush it off by saying it would have never worked out in the end ( oh, but it COULD, it WOULD have if only they'd decided to TALK to each other, to be VULNERABLE with each other instead of just calling it quits ), despite every What If and If Only that crosses their minds every time their eyes meet.
Every time they see their longing mirrored in the other's eyes.
#//It is *chef's kiss* PERFECTION#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//This is not actually abt any Genshin ships tho kjdfbgdkfg#//This is in fact abt J|yantefi Wu of the Wa#//Bc a friend showed me a thing and my angst loving ass went YES#//THAT IS EXACTLY THEIR VIBE#//But I screm abt it on here bc I like feedback kndngf#//Also bc this cou;d be a fun plot ig jhdhgkjfg#plot ideas#//There we go kjfgnbkg#//It's so sad and silly a plot; but I LOVE IT#//Bc ultimately; it's abt the characters coming to be VULNERABLE with their special person#//Of a BREAKING POINT where they can't take it; where ONE or BOTH of them decide to speak up bc they've had ENOUGH#//ENOUGH of playing around the issue; ENOUGH of dancing around each other; when all they'd ever wanna do is hold the other close again#//ENOUGH of watching others try & shoot their shot; feel a spike of panic & jealousy; desperately praying the other won't accept them#//Only to feel an IMMEDIATE rush of relief/self-satisfaction when the other looks over at them w/ the SOFTEST eyes & declines the advances#//And in the same breath; as if saying 'there's no doubt there won't ever be anyone but you. Don't you worry'#//Aaaand I am rambling nonsense byeeee#//dkjkngfkg#//My sister wants to drag me out to boba#//Meanwhile I'm tryna decide if I wanna do a open rp or a starter call for a certain blog of mine#//Unrelated to this idea mind you; but for another one instead#//Bc it made brain go brr kjfngf#//Open might be tricky bc it a multimuse...idk; we'll see what the feedback says kjgnfgh
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#boris was attacked by my neighbor's dog and i've been crying so much. i'm so scared#it's 9pm so my sister is driving him to a vet 1 hour away cause the vets near close at 7pm#idk why bad things keep happening to him i'm so heartbroken idk what i'll do if he dies#my neighbor is a cruel bitch cause this happened around 1 pm and she didn't tell us. she hid him in a room#she was gonna let him die like that#my sister was supposed to take me somewhere tomorrow so she came home one day earlier#i'd been crying all afternoon and i told her to please ask around and then they (w mom and brother) went to my neighbor's house#they brought him back and he looked very weak and with blood all over#my sister called a friend of hers who's a vet and she came to see him and adviced to take him to a vet clinic#cause he was bloated and there was air(?) and her face was worried when she said that cause.. where does air come from#plus he was breathing weird#i had the worst panic attack the whole time since they brought him from the neighbor's house until they left with him#i couldn't even speak cause i couldn't stop crying#now i'm calm but i'm so worried#if my sister hadn't come home today boris would be still hurt and locked in my bitch neighbor's house#cause my mom thought i was being paranoid :( she wasn't going to ask around#cause she thought boris would come back since he's been missing before#also my sister's the only one who can drive#:(#i'm so angry cause that bitch next door heard me calling boris name all afternoon and didn't say shit#i hate her. not only bc of this but she's suck a snake in general. she's always gossiping shit about everyone#she didn't do anything and locked him in a room for like 7 hours. maybe those hours were crucial#idk. if boris dies i'm gonna do some crazy shit to this bitch so she'll have a reason to call me crazy
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i found a photo of me in the hospital after my first seizure and i am wearing the most HORRENDOUS combination of clothing imaginable 😭😭
thinking of redrawing it with mikey because epileptic 2012 mikey is real
#either that or i'll just redraw it as myself#i'm not gonna share the photo rn but like. god girl what were you thinking#a blue shirt with pink and yellow cats that's obviously too small for me#light grey pajama bottoms with pink cuffs(?)#ugly ass red socks with a white pattern or smth that look a bit like the psych ward socks#the nerdiest pair of glasses i've ever owned#and leapard print trainers 😭😭 (velcro because i didn’t know how to tie my shoes)#please get a better taste in fashion omg#my first seizure story is pretty funny to me tbh#i was at my desk at like 10pm colouring a pair of sunglasses red in honour of red nose day#(it was supposed to be part of my outfit for the next day because red nose day and pudsey day tended to be non uniform days)#and all of a sudden i wake up on the floor with a mild stomach ache#now i had had a lot of those and my parents began to not trust me when i said i felt sick#but this one was a bit worse than usual#so i started making whimpering sounds to make it beleivable#and my parents (who were in a bit of a panic) misinterpreted this and thought i was in too much pain to talk 😭😭#and i was so confused because i was just. lying on my bedroom floor as my parents ran about stressed saying shit ljke#“should we call them” which confused me further because#why are you already calling the school to tell them i'm gonna be absent??????#and then someone FINALLY explains to me i had a seizure and i'm like. oh.#i have a few other odd seizure stories#like when i had a seizure while playing othello#or while playing crazy 8s on gamepigeon with my friends#or when i had sent a status “coming back from the hospital” which scared my grandma but we assured her i was fine and healthy#and that it was just a checkup and everything was good and i hadn’t had a seizure in ages#and then i proceeded to have a seizure that night.#the irony is amazing#epilepsy: making my life interesting since 2018(?)#tw seizure mention#mia has a stupid thought
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I seem to be literally cursed to never have a good Pride every year, which is definitely homophobia. I also blame my town for having it in late September for some reason, which is generally the month of the year bad things happen and the mental illness hits the worst for me. June is usually fine.
#one pride my grandfather died in the middle of the festival and i got the phone call then rip papa#last year a friend of ten years dumped me over my anxiety stuff and disinvited me to pride with them#i think i had a panic attack at another one#this year everyone's busy or working and can't come with me#they're having a comic con and i M I G H T be able to meet a friend there so im just going to that i guess#life of a nev
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