#just gotta re trumatise ourselves again so the other fucks off for a while and we can function
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its always bad when its both me and janet, we can only take one set of mental illnesses at once not both
#they do not compliment eachother#this is what landed us in hospital last time#too much time and both of us#i feel like im going to end up back in hospital#ik if i told people things (not even all of it) id get myself sectioned (or whatever amercans call it)#like just the extent of my self harm is enough to get me in hospital#and tgats not mentioning janet or the messages or suicide stuff or some other stuff#like im not stupid ik im going to end up doing something and getting the cops called ik my parents are liars#i bet the school would call an ambulance if they saw my arm their so dramatic about medical stuff#tried to call an ambulance on my friend who fainted for a few moments#its ridiculous#and i couldn't move for about an hour and i feel like thats going to keep happening again#no one noticed but theyd definitely call an ambulance then#or if i have a meltdown or a bad panic attack#and by bad i mean multiple hour long unable to see or feel my limbs#whenever its both of us shit like that happens#and when i have meltdowns their big#screaming and head banging for hours#theyd kick me out of school again#and i was doing pretty good for the first time in two years too#people finally started listening to me because i could act sane enough that'll all fall apart again#janets so annoying#makes my life impossible and janets also suicidal but a fucking pussy and always stops me just before i can#ill never be able to die on purpose because of this fucking kid#tw mental hospital#tw police#were so conflicting in personality we can't do nothing#im so angry and janets so scared so we just sit in it forever#just gotta re trumatise ourselves again so the other fucks off for a while and we can function#its like ever time we are safe its both of us and we can't fucking take it
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