#okay yes i was biased in saying everyones favourite

[leviiackrman]

Sugar, spice and everything nice! Everyone's favourite soft gal is finally finished, enjoy Asami's Completed Timeline!

Tag list (ask to be added or removed): @carrionsflower @statichvm @risingsh0t @simonxriley @tommyarashikage @kanos @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @thedeadthree @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @jackiesarch @minaharkers @sergeiravenov @carlosoliveiraa @rosenfey @greenecreek @queennymeria @heroofpenamstan @tethrras @jamessunderlandgf @d-esmond @solasan @bigbywlf @delzinrowe @fenharel @imogenkol

[thelikesofus]

Buddie Fic Recs

AKA Talented Mutuals Tuesday

Except I spent so long making this list that the timezones changed over BUT I wanted to show my mutuals some love and now that we are going into the hiatus I thought you might all like a list of quality fics to keep you occupied while there is no new Weewoo show. 

I don't know if anyone will actually want to join in on this but if you do the rules are simple:

SHOW YOUR MUTUALS SOME LOVE! Share your favourite fics, (or gifs, edits, literally anything that your very talented mutuals have made), as many or as few as you like but let's share the love around <3

Apologises in advance for the long post btw

@speaknowdiaz I would literally read anything that April writes and would probably sell a limb for the incredible WIPs I know she's still cooking up but here are a couple of my faves:

pining and anticipation (I don't want you like a best friend)

Buck challenges Eddie to try to hit on him after teasing Eddie for not having any ‘game’. This fic is very funny and very soft.

believe in one thing (i won't go away)

This fic hit me straight in the feels. Buck and Eddie go to couples therapy even though they aren't a couple and they work through some stuff.

◊

@thosetwofirefighters Incredible amazing Nat ily xx

Say It All Out Loud

Eddie comes out to Aunt Pepa after his ‘date’ with Vanessa. I am a little bit biased towards this one because she did write it for me but it's honestly just so good!

How to Cure Boredom: Buckley Edition

The 118 are stuck at the firehouse during a slow shift and Buck entertains them all by mattress-surfing the loft stairs. It’s soft and silly and in the same universe as her other fic Safe in His Arms.

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@loveyourownsmiilee The wonderful amazing Juju not only writes incredible meta and keeps us all fed with Oliver content but Juju also writes wonderful buddie fic. 

When Were You Under Me?

Who doesn’t love a Friends AU. This is Buck and Eddie as Ross and Rachel and it is hilarious and so sweet. 

You should also check out her Buddie Language Meta if you have not read it before <3

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@elvensorceress Jenwyn’s work always astounds me so be sure to check these out:

Color Him Father, Color Him Love

I will scream from the rafters how much I adore this fic and yes it did make me cry (happy tears). It’s a look into Buck’s head after his sperm donor kid is born and he realizes what Christopher (and Eddie) truly mean to him. I know I have recced this before but it deserves all the love. 

Unless You Ask Me To

Eddie dates a man for the first time, and Buck is completely 'Fine'. This is a preemptive rec because it is one chapter away from completion and I have been saving it to binge in one sitting but knowing Jenwyn and her incredible talent I guarantee this will be worth the read. 

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@spotsandsocks If anyone’s work is guaranteed to make me sob like a baby (happy, sad, or tears of laughter) it’s Spotty. 

Everything But (temptation)

This is Spotty’s newest fic and it's just brilliant. Buck is practicing extreme self-control whilst Eddie is being an irresistible menace. 

Could Have, Should Have, Would Have

Buck finally tells Eddie he loves him right before Eddie’s new boyfriend is supposed to meet Christopher. Honestly, all I can say about this fic is that it’s a masterpiece and I screamed many times while reading it. 

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@shortsighted-owl Wonderful amazing Owly (Abbi). I appreciate you so and you make my dash so happy xx

Of foam-moustached kisses, and button combinations

For all your sweet domestic buddie needs this is the fic. Eddie is practicing a video game to get better than Chris and Buck makes fun of his ex-technophobe boyfriend. 

Also THIS EDIT SET to the lyrics of You’re All That I Have by Snow Patrol make me assdffgghjjklkll

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@lilbuddie Okay, this one is just a brag because Minja doesn’t actually have any fics published yet (side eye) but I wanna make sure she is on everyone’s radar for when she does because yall are not ready for the incredible amazing talent that is this girl’s writing!! So go check out the snippets on her Tumblr and badger her until she finishes something plssssss

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@wheelsupin-five Hi! <3

Almost Almost Almost

This adorable of Buck who is always cold and Eddie warms him up I– asfffghhjkklllll

Under Kitchen Light

SO SOFT! Buck wakes up and Eddie isn't there, Buck finds him in the kitchen. 

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@rogerzsteven Simi owns my heart and by that I mean my heart is locked in a cage in Simi’s basement where it is occasionally beaten to a pulp by the most incredibly angsty fics you've ever read.

Cleanse

Buck is extremely nauseous and Eddie takes care of him while I sob over them in a corner.

build me a home underground (free from light and sound)

This fic is so brutal in all the best ways, my heart was in my throat the entire read! Buck gets trapped in a sensory deprivation room while the 118 and Athena race to find him. 

◊

@ashavahishta another incredibly talented mutual of mine

out of ashes

Is it really a Meegs rec list if I don’t rec this fic honestly it's engraved on my soul. This is a criminal minds/greys inspired fic where Buck is kidnapped and tortured until the 118 can find him. This fic is so so well written and means a million things to me I could never explain but pleaseeeee read it!! 

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@jobairdxx hello lovely xx

Oh, We Pray to Make it Through the Night

Highly recommend this fic, I do love a near-death experience fic! Buck gets injured on a call and Eddie falls asleep holding vigil at his bedside. 

Jules also writes beautiful poetry on Tumblr so go read some of that too <3

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@monsterrae1 MISS RAE! YOU INCREDIBLE THING! <3

love is on its way

I know we’re all a little bit in mourning over the couch theory but it lives on in our hearts and in this fic which has six moments between Buck and Eddie on the Diaz couch (and she’s a wee bit spicy too).

Buck's café (take my heart, just not my order)

Coffee Shop AU. Buck runs the shop where the 118 order all their drinks on shift. I absolutely adore this fic! 

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@alyxmastershipper RYAN!! INCREDIBLY TALENTED MUTUAL THAT YOU ARE!! 

there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head

If “aasdsdfghhjkl” was a person it was me reading this fic. Eddie comes out to Buck, receives a quirky mug, and gets together with the love of his life. In that order.

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@bekkachaos Wonderful, amazing Bekka xxx

lose yourself in the feeling

I am a sucker for ‘accidental kisses’ and this was just wonderful. Buck is so excited about Maddie and Chim getting engaged that he kisses Eddie when he tells him. 

start me up, open my eyes

Okay, the mild sexual content tag is a lie, nothing has ever been closer to smut without actually being smut than this fic, I have never been so wound up reading a fic. Bekka builds the tension so so well. 

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@sibylsleaves honestly I'm still a little in shock that we're mutuals now so please excuse me while I fangirl over your incredible writing!

with a bird at your door

Eddie starts spending all his time with Buck. Which would be fine if it weren't for the fact that Buck is in love with him. This fic is the perfect mixture of pining, angst, and a happy ending. And yes I think about this fic frequently I love it okay. 

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@mysteriouslyyounggalaxy last but certainly not least (for now). hello lovely xx

(tell the gravedigger) better dig two

Missing scenes from while eddie is trapped in the well followed by the most perfect extended reunion scene. We all know I am a sucker for fics based on the well incident, it’s literally how i started writing for buddie but omg this fic!!!! 

◊

Remember to share the love around and happy hiatus to you all.

Love, Meegs xxxx

[absolutebl]

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

This is the point where I remind you that GMMTV announced 16 BLs for 2024 and didn't actually release 4 of them in 2024: My Golden Blood, Ossan‘s Love, Sweet Tooth Good Dentist, and The Ex-Morning.

So despite the fact that these are from GMMTV 2025 line up, some of them will not happen until 2026, and some could get dropped entirely or have cast changes.

I'm not including the GLs, grab bags, or possible bromances. Confirmed full-tilt gay af only.

In order of ones I'm most excited about.

Dare You to Death

trailer

JoongDunk as police investigators in a mystery suspense thriller. Yes, I'm in. This is it. This it the one I wanted to instantly watch. Even though their's 20 BLs airing right now.

This is the only trailer I immediately rewatched.

Boys in Love

trailer

Our only true high school BL from GMMTV and it's fresh faces for the youths and old favs for the teachers. It's milk teeth Make it Right and that is perfectly fine with me! I like lotte milk. Also DIMPLES! Yay! I suspect they're using this one to test some new pairs for future seasons. Like a Project 101 Thai BL. (Honestly I just invented an amazing reality TV for you GMMTV, you're welcome.)

Like My School President was in 2023, this could be a major 2025 sleeper hit for me.

Memoir of Rati

trailer

Sing the praise song with me BLabies! GreatInn in a HISTORICAL with a class divide and everyone's favourite side couple! Be still my heart! I'm beyond pleased. (Also I got my boat in a lotus pond at last.) My only concern is this could end sad, it's in the title after all.

This is the only trailer that gave me chills.

My Magic Prophecy

trailer

Paranormal mystery with a fortune teller and a doctor. I'm in. I hope the script doesn't fail JimmySea again, they are such a great pair. I'm intrigued by this one but it felt the most formless of all the trailers, so I'm thinking we could see some significant tweaks.

Me and Thee

trailer

A photographer gets involved with the mafia? OMG is this a Thai dupe for Target the Finder? Only mixed with Cyrano? WILD. I mean to say, this one is wild WILD! Plus Est (my love) back in suits and ear dongles I see. Also GMMTV never gonna let us forget they bagged two of BL's best bods with PP, thanks all for the visuals.

Of course this is for me. I'm the shallowest, remember? Plus I love a BL that's just a little bit...... well...... stupid.

A Dog and A Plane

trailer

A prissy gay flight attendant in a push-pull relationship with an EMT dude-bro. Characters are a bit throwback to PeteKao (no bad thing) not to mention the looming shadow of What the Duck? (bad thing). But the side couple is the always appealing MarcPoon.

Okay GMMTV, surprise me, I'm game. And you know TayNew are my OG GMMTV pair du jour.

Cat for Cash

trailer

Finally something fluffy with a pair I like. Looks cute. I like cute. Yay for me! Adorable gay boys and cats.

This one is basically made to be a tumblr comfort meme meets thirst trap. I see what you're doing GMMTV and I applaud you. Carry on.

That Summer

trailer

The only side pair to seriously level up. Okay so amnesia is my least favourite trope, and I tend to not be wild about secret identity either, but I like both pairs in this one, so I'll watch.

My Romance Scammer

trailer

New couple! My boys Ohm and Fluke (no, not that Fluke, the one from My Ride). Honestly, Fluke has popped up as a side in a couple GMMTV shows I was wondering who they'd BL him with.

This could win. Prettiest human on earth paired with the world's most potent single dimple. Will I survive? I honestly don't know, because Ohm historically doesn't have much chemistry with anyone but the original Fluke so... Still I l do love JuniorMark and this as a really unique premise (gay Heartbreakers), so I'm game.

Head 2 Head

trailer

The Boo kids are back. I don't love this pair (I find their chemistry and acting awkward) or the main trope (E2L) but I do like the new sides and their trope (2nd chance is a fav of mine). So this one will depend on whether those are full side dishes or just crumbs.

Ticket To Heaven

trailer

GMMTV is doing Boy Foretold by Stars concept? Interesting, did not have religious boundary pushing and bildungsroman down on he Thai BL bingo card.

This isn't my thing but I think G4 are actually going to be amazing in it and I certainly look forward to them pushing their acting chops. Not to mention the discomfort something like this can cause in general/global viewership. I like it when BL makes people (who aren't me) uncomfortable.

Burnout Syndrome

trailer

GMMTV doing edgy is never a good thing IMHO, and in this one they're handling sex work. *shakes head* However, Not Me is the noted exception and this is that same pair with the same director. So I'm curious if not wild about the content.

That said, I'm delighted to see Gun with someone else (Dew is a stunning choice, thank you Casting) even if only for a love triangle moment. It's been a WHILE.

Melody of Secrets

trailer

Not wild about ForceBook, do like a mystery, don't like horror or psychological thrillers... not sure on this one.

I like BL pushing into new territory, even if it's not my territory, but this is defiantly not made for me, that's for damn sure.

And that's the end of my list.

"But wait," you cry. "P'ABL you're still missing some."

How Dare

Only Friends Dream On

trailer

Yeah, no fuckoff. I will not be watching this. I already marked it pink on the Spreadsheet of Doom. (Pink means CNF or an automatic no watch for me.)

But dude was it nice to see all those pairs busted. That's always a good time for me. Anyway, all you so-n-sos who gave the first one your eyeballs are to blame for this. Watch it n weep. Without me.

(Side note: I love it when a title reviews itself, Only Friends: Dream On, indeed. It's like media aptronym.)

and last and definately least......

Love You Teacher

trailer

no

no no

NO NO

NO!!!

I do like Perth & Santa (although I'm not sold on them as a pair). But words cannot describe how much I dislike this premise. SERIOUSLY? No thank you very much. I could, just maybe, hate watch Only Friends 2, but it's gonna be hard for me to even turn this on. Infantilization and people acting like children wigs me tf out. YKINMKBYKIOK of course, but not in my BL GMMTV. Stop it! (This one also got the dreaded pink of will not watch.)

More Disappointments

Thor didn't get the lead in anything. (Pouts in "but he so sexy.")

No major pairs were significantly busted.

Tonally it's gone darker than I expected. I prefer lighter fluffier BL so this tonal shift for GMMTV as a whole is not a win for me personally. Should be left to Japan IMHO.

That said, most of my favorite GMMTV pairs are in my top picks to watch as well, so I'm happy for that.

I'm Intrigued Despite Myself

My favorite trailer of all was actually Wu (red thread fated paranormals are my favoritest thing ever next to isekai) but that's not a branded pair so I'm not convinced it's BL. Hoping it is, but that happened in 2024 with these boys, so I'll leave it in the air for now.

I like that we're making push to leave uni and high school behind (don't worry, other Thai studios will fill the gap). I think GMMTV is doing this in order to

keep branded pairs together and

keep the actors of those pairs interested in the BL scripts.

As their major pairs age out of uni, GMMTV has to hand them more meaty and grown up stuff. I didn't think they would actually do this, so I'm pleased to see it happen. Even if it's all going darker than I like, at least it's different.

I don't really report on GL and I rarely have time to watch it these days. I thought the new MilkLove looked cute, but I'm still recovering from whatever happen in their last one. The Girl's Rules one looks like a light-weight L-Word. Still happy to see GMMTV move out of school for thier few GLs too.

(source)

[petit-papillion]

It's crazy how misinformation keeps being spread. I saw a person on twitter who had a lot of followers and a podcast about f1 saying ferrari asked what tires carlos thought it was better and carlos answered "soft". And then they gave the soft to charles and hard to carlos.

When someone posted the transcription of the radio (from twitter user team55) that shows carlos answered "hards or softs" they said the transcription was wrong.

When someone mentioned ferrari wanted to give charles hards but charles refused, they said its not true and the only reason they gave charles soft was because carlos said it was the better tire.

I went back to listen the radios and the person is simply lying.

Ferrari asked carlos what he prefer between mediums, soft or hards and he said "hards or soft"

Ferrari told charles they were thinking about putting hards and he said "no that's stupid".

So whats the point to make up things like this ? Just so people can keep the narrative that carlos is the strategy master and ferrari favors charles ?

And it's one thing if it was just a random account but it's someone with a plataform. there's a lot of fans that don't have access to f1tv there are just believing what this person said.

Hi Anon! I feel like the F1 broadcasts have hugely contributed to this perception of Carlos being a strategic mastermind by being very selective about what they broadcast from team radio. Drive to Survive gets picked on for painting false narratives, but the main broadcast is, at times, just as bad. They pick and choose team radio, sometimes don't broadcast everything that was said or omit follow-up radio that puts the original one in a different light, or don't transcribe it correctly ("There was a cut." when Charles said "There was a cat." comes to mind). I do like that they put "I'm OK." on screen when a driver has crashed and they know from team radio the driver is okay. And I also understand it takes a little while to transcribe team radio. But to my recollection they have never actually said it's just a standard message they use, and instead they make it seem like they are quoting the driver, who in fact may have said, "I'm in the fucking wall." or "Red flag! Red flag! I'm in the middle of the track!!!"

Anyway, on to your point: why make things up? For the same reason drivers lie (and yes, they all do at one point or another) when they are on team radio or talking to the media. To make themselves look good/innocent. And some go to far more extremes than others. Fans are no different: we are biased towards our fave and have a really hard time accepting when he does something we don't like or agree with, as our meow meow just can do no wrong. Some people come up with excuses, others with just blatant lies. See recently Lestappen fans when Max chose Lando, Daniel and Checo as his top 3 friends on the grid, and they said he had to pick Checo because he's his teammate, otherwise he would've said Charles. Could be true, but that would still only put Charles as his 3rd best friend. Wouldn't Max have put Charles as his undisputed number 1 if they are really that close?

Sorry, I digress. The point is, we all need to use critical thinking to the best of our ability, check facts when we can, and try not to stay in a vacuum of like-minded people, but it's unavoidable to have false narratives slip in when it is being fed to us every race weekend. Commentators are biased and although we expect them to be objective, they often are not. I stopped listening to Sky, but it is incredibly clear Crofty's favourite driver is Norris, Chandhok is a Carlos-fan, etc. And you are right, not everyone has access to F1TV to check the onboards, but in this case, they do have access to Twitter and can look at more than just the tweets telling them lies.

In case anyone needs proof of what Charles said:

🎥 bliss_n16

[comfycuddles]

You know what I think...

It's time we start talking about Peter Capaldi.

When we talk about Doctor Who and our favourite modern doctors, we always go round and round in the same circles:

"David Tennant is the greatest Doctor!"

"No way! Matt Smith brought this goofy nature to the character, while maintaining the Doctor's eternal darkness!"

"Please! Nine was funny and sassy and just overall great. He deserved more credit. Eccelston was the best Doctor!"

And sometimes even a:

"I think that although she had to endure poor writing, a female Doctor was refreshing!"

I agree with this of course, and every Doctor brings something with them, you know who we don't post enough about? Or even generally talk about enough?

Peter fucking Capaldi. I seriously think he might be one of the most underrated Doctors of the modern era and It's a WASTE.

From the very beginning he was just amazing. "Do you know how to fly this thing?" ICONIC. His first episode was pure crack in the very best way. (The way he flirted with the dinosaur, anybody?)

Capaldi had this amazing connection with Jenna as Clara (Although I am a Clara stan idc so I might be a little biased about that) and their dynamic was so much fun to watch.

Not unlike David Tennant Peter is such a fan of the show. (As was confirmed by Jenna) But is also nice about it too. He doesn't go around just correcting everyone, but he wants everyone to know what an amazing show it is and wants people to love it just as much as he does.

Also 12 was so iconic??? Fighting fucking Robin Hood with a spoon? Awesome! Rolling into the middle ages on a fucking tank, calling people "Dude", making puns and dumb jokes and above else SLAYING that guitar?! Yes! A thousands times Yes! Just the best space grandpa ever!

Capaldi is so unhinged and has this chaotic energy while still appearing as the sanest person in the room. Just look up some stories about him fucking around on the set.

It was also very refreshing to see an older Doctor. I mean, I think Capaldi wad the oldest guy to play the Doctor since HARTNELL. He still had this youthful energy, but he just seemed so DONE with everyones bullshit. 12 handled things with a certain maturity that I kinda loved.

Like he has life experience, he KNOWS what his actions will cause and that's GOOD to see of the Doctor. And at the same time he's also forgiving himself for all the things he's done, which is even BETTER.

And don't even talk to me about his relationship with his companions and Missy. First of all the latter gives me life. And his relationship with Bill was so good y'all. I mean, he punched a racist in the face for her. (ICON!!!!) And were just adorable.

And my final point, the biggest point: Peter Capaldi is just an AMAZING actor. We all love "Heaven sent" and It's just the greatest episode EVER and this is party because Moffat wrote it so beautifully, but also because of Capaldi's Jaw dropping performance!!! If he wasn't SUCH an amazing actor the episode would have never worked. And I am certain of this fact. He did that y'all! HE. DID. THAT.

Capaldi gave some of the best speeches and performances in Doctor Who history. And everyone sleeps on it, and I say "No more!" Also his line. "Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?" DONE, SOBBING ON THE DAMN FLOOR. I need to say with this that I'm NOT an emotional person at all. But somehow that line hit me right in the feels and never stopped.

So yeah

Eccelston was hilarious and fun and amazing

David was awesome and I think It's definitely deserved that he goes down in history as one of the greatest Doctors.

Matt had some heartwrenging moments that I'll never get over, was as cool as bowties and just lovely

And Jody was unique and ADORABLE!

But y'all are SLEEPING on Peter Capaldi and 12 and that is SO undeserved.

Mister Capaldi Sir, if you ever see this, (You probably won't, but that's okay. I hope it does though) just know, that I love and adore you so much and think you are one of the greatest actors and human beings in the history of everything. And you DESERVE to know that. I will forever be proud to say that 12 that is my favourite Doctor of all time. And I say this without half a doubt in my mind. I'm a proud Peter Capaldi stan until the end of time. And just know that I and so many more people along with me have so much LOVE for you. (Most of us not in a creepy way though) and you are CRIMINALLY underrated.

Thank you so much for reading my rant.

This has been a Peter Capaldi/12th Doctor appreciation post. And I invite you to reblog this and show your love for the best Doctor. Only positivity though, stay nice.

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

Skinny people can be in a fic without it being fatphobic. Get over utsealf

Get your bingo cards everyone!!!

It's time to check off: 'skinny people being offended when they are not obviously the center of attention' oh! and 'skinny people taking any discussion of fatphobia as a direct attack'

Okay, so - who has bingo? I certainly do.

Yes - skinny people can be in a fic without it being fatphobic. But if the writer claims that their fic is open ended and the reader character is meant to describe as wide of a range as people as possible, then it is fatphobic if there is unconscious descriptions or implications that the reader character is a thin person.

One of the most common implications that the reader character is a thin person? Describing the reader character wearing a tee shirt (or another piece of clothing) that belongs to a thin canon character, especially if it is described as being 'oversized' on the reader.

Other common indicators that the writer is a thin person and is unconsciously picturing a thin Y/N when writing their fic:

Saying that the canon character lifted the reader character off the ground completely (especially if the canon character is someone non-athletic, like Spencer Reid)

Saying that the canon character's hands looked large or are large in comparison to parts of the reader character's body - especially her upper arms or her waist (saying that the canon character 'dwarfs' her in any way is just... big ick)

Belly bulge kink! I have so many issues with this one anyway, but if you can see a cock through someone's stomach, no matter how gigantic that cock is, it means that person has very, very little stomach fat. So again - you are picturing a skinny person (borderline anorexic) when writing this (in general, this kink is not a glorification of big cocks, which my blog is all about, it's a glorification of low body fat and thin stomachs, so... big ick)

(Among many others)

The presence of skinny people in fanfics in itself is not fatphobic.

Though I do believe that skinny people dominate way too many spaces as it is, and as I have said before, I always write my fics with fat readers in mind first and let skinny people enjoy my fics as a perk.

If you do any of these ^^^ things, and you don't put a blatant warning on your fics that they feature a skinny/thin reader character, then you are being fatphobic. A plus sized fanfiction enjoyer shouldn't have to get halfway through your supposedly inclusive fic and be jumpscared by the implicit implication of thinness.

Especially if is a romantic fic - they are being fed the idea that only thin people can be loved by their favourite character in a world where they have already been told a thousand times that their fatness is not desirable. Fics should be not only an escape for us, but a place for us to be loved for our bodies despite our supposed flaws. (Which is why I have so many fics featuring plus sized reader characters, and I continually preach ways to avoid fatphobia in fics for those who might not know about their unconscious biases when writing.)

But as usual - skinny people get all up in arms when fatphobia is even mentioned, because they think that it's an attack on them somehow. sigh

[jreads]

Unexpected Constellations (Part 14)

Rating: No crazy stuff

Word Count: 6.8K

Warnings: Warnings: Angst, Mentions of blood, Canon-level violence, Dark themes, Foul language, Din being a cutie

A/N: Sorry I pushed this back for so long! It was giving me such grief but I think I am okay with posting it now. I was overwhelmed with the love from the previous part and I am so so happy that everyone liked it. As it stands, this is the penultimate part! As always, comment on this post or the masterlist to get added to the taglist. So much love 🤍

Waking up next to him was bliss. Your body felt tired and achy and sore, but his head was resting on your chest, curls tickling your chin, body pressed possessively against your own. Breathing even. It was so new to see him like this, and it had quickly become one of your favourite things. You ran fingers through his hair, nails scraping against his scalp and his sleepy groan was so deep that it might have been a purr.

“You’re so beautiful.” It sort of slipped out. You were becoming loose lipped around him.

“You keep saying that.”

“It’s true.” Maker, and his voice. Rich like sweet candy. 

He huffed into your skin, arms tightening around you like a band. 

You stilled your fingers in his hair. “You don’t believe me?”

No answer. But he lifted his head, brows raising quizzically, eyes still heavy with sleep. It was impossible. Intolerable. 

“I mean… Have you looked at yourself?”

Din answered too matter-of-factly. “Yes. In the fresher sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

“I don’t look at my reflection a lot.”

“Why not?”

He seemed to get fed up with your line of questioning, collapsing back against you and nuzzling into your stomach to avoid an answer. But you weren’t letting it go so easily.

“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

“I think you’re biased.” He kissed your navel.

You tried to ignore the flutter that went through you. “I think you’re insufferable.”

He pressed you to the bed then, hovering over you just slightly. “I guess you’ll have to suffer then. You’re stuck with me now.”

Snarky, gorgeous, unbelievable. “Can’t imagine how I’m ever going to survive—”

“Shut up.” He captured your laugh in a kiss, slow and sensual and lazy, and you lost yourself in it. You let him guide your wrists above your head, where he pinned them with a broad palm. You let him trail the other hand down your side, over the curve of your waist. 

You let him, you let him, you let him. 

It took the both of you far too long to make it out of Boba’s guest suite. Din had even quipped about him starting to charge rent. But eventually, and quite unfortunately, you were reminded that a galaxy existed outside of each other, and that you needed to get back to it.

Din had only told you about the Imp that morning, reluctantly. And perhaps that was lucky, because if you had known earlier, there was little chance you would have been able to sleep let alone focus on anything else. Focus on Din.

But you knew now.

What Din had done wasn’t lost on you. He could have killed the man himself; he had had plenty of time while you were still unconscious. He could have drawn it out, made it bloody. You knew he enjoyed that sometimes… when given the right circumstances… when the victim was deserving. But he had captured him instead, left him alive. Not just so you could kill him yourself if you pleased, but because he knew you needed closure. Thus, the day’s responsibilities would be far from easy and would also take some time. 

A quick comm chat with Peli had ended with the lady practically demanding that she take Grogu to a podrace, and that if you two were early to Mos Eisley this evening, you ‘would just have to park your asses down in the hangar and wait.’ It was so good to hear the child’s coos from the other end of the line, though it only eased your trepidation by a fraction.

“You don’t have to do this.” Din’s presence was unyielding behind you as you made your way down darkened sandstone steps. “Say the word, and I can—”

You silenced the rest of his sentence, stopping abruptly on the staircase and spinning on him. A step above, he towered over you. Ever the protector. “As much as I’m sure you’d love to…” You rose onto the tips of your toes and caressed the indents in his helmet. “…I have to handle this myself.”

He nodded once. “I’ll be here. If you need anything—” Before he could finish, another voice sounded from behind you.

“You’re awake. I was getting worried.” 

It was enough to make you reconsider the rest of the descent into the Rancor’s cave. Truthfully, you might have preferred coming face-to-face with the Rancor instead. Powerless. You had to remind yourself. He has no power here. Over you. Over anything.

With a shaky breath, you reached the bottom of the pit, advancing on a menacing portcullis. Though he was silent, you knew Din followed.

He was grasping onto the gate bars with white knuckles. He looked a sight. Usually pristine Imperial uniform now torn and singed, he was covered in dirt and dried blood. A nasty gash had crusted over on the top of his head, staining his hair. You wondered who had done it. Your money was on Boba. If it had been Din, he wouldn’t have stopped there.

“Leaving you alone with two Mandalorians and a bounty hunter?” He scoffed, as if the idea were preposterous. “Their kind are ravagers. I’m relieved you’re alright.”

To act as if he was concerned about your well-being at all was almost insulting. What was worse was the assumption that the ones who had cared for you would have put you in harm’s way. A reversal of roles… a projection.

You tried to summon an air of phony assertiveness, though your hands were shaking. Fear? Anxiety? Rage? It was anyone’s guess. “Here’s how this is going to work. You don’t insult my friends. In fact, don’t speak unless you’re answering a question. Are we clear?”

He seemed to pay you no mind. “Look at you! So confident. Perhaps those years apart were a blessing in disguise.” He seemed comfortable, assured even, but his knuckles, blanched against the gate metal, gave him away. 

“I’ve been meaning to tell you… what you did in that control room. It was amazing. Magnificent.”

The control room? When you knocked him out?

“I always knew you had it in you.” His eyes were glazing over with some sort of sick admiration. “Your master would be so proud.”

The control room. The water, the cables. The electricity. Oh. Stars. He thought you had summoned lightning.

“I don’t… I didn’t.” You suddenly felt the need to defend yourself. Not to him, but to the man behind you. The one you were trying to convince that you were good. The one you were trying to convince yourself that you were deserving of.

“You don’t need to be afraid.” His smile made you feel sick, whatever calm mask you had put in place quickly slipping. “This is what you were meant for. Don’t you see? Everything we—” He was quick to correct himself. “Everything they did was for this… And look how strong you are now.” Dirty fingers reached past the bars, grasping for you. You stumbled back into Din’s chest. 

He ran a hand over you side, squeezing at your hip, barely a featherlight touch but grounding nonetheless. You breathed a few times, timing your inhales with the rise and fall of his chest.

However, the Imp was now surveying the Mandalorian with a repulsed expression. Looking from him to you… and back again. He sneered. “Wow, really?” He waited, as if for an answer. “You could conquer worlds, topple governments. The galaxy would bow at your feet.” That petulant entitlement had found its way back into his cadence. “Is this what you’d throw it all away for? A trivial romance?” Disgust dripped from his words. “You could be a god.”

When you broke his eye contact, he turned to Din instead. “And you could be rich.”

“I’m not interested in credits.” There was a sharp edge in his modulated voice, a promise of violence.

“No, I’m sure you’re not. It’s power you’re after.” The hatred between the two men hung so thick in the air that it was starting to suffocate. “What is it? Planning on using her to retake your home world?” Din stilled. “Who would dare to stand against you with a Sith at your side?”

“Enough.” Your tone was sharp, but not sharp enough.

“How long has it been since your people have even seen Mandalore? Set foot on the scorched soil? I wonder what they’ll find beneath its surface.” His tone was all too knowing. Din’s mind roared like a wildfire behind you.

“I said enough.” Your raised voice finally seemed to break their murderous concentration on one another. “You don’t get to ask questions. But you can answer mine.”

His energy changed immediately. “Anything you want to know. I’ve only ever been honest with you.” A flicker of a glare over your shoulder. “But your bodyguard will have to leave.”

You could feel Din reach for his blaster. No, not the blaster… that was on the other side of his hip. 

You spun, a hand on his own to halt him. “It’s okay. I’ll be fine.” There was a beat of silence as he considered. Rage, violence, bloodlust. This wasn’t Din; there was nothing of the man you knew in him. This was The Mandalorian.

“You don’t open the gate; you stay away from the bars.” His voice was hushed, steady, lethal. “He tries anything, or you sense anything, you call for me.” You nodded. Still, he hesitated. 

“I’ve got this.” You ran a thumb under the edge of his glove, over the soft skin of his inner wrist. Over the pulse point. It was jumping rapidly, a sign of him. “Go.”

With what you could tell was one more glance at the man behind you, he turned, footfalls heavy, and made his way back up the steps. Before he could disappear from sight, the man spoke. 

“Good. Now we can stop pretending.” You knew Din had heard it. He was egging him on. Did he not understand that you were the only thing stopping Din from shoving the saber through his throat? Or maybe that was the whole point.

Without Din’s protective presence, you instantly felt more unpredictable. You needed a moment to calm, recenter yourself. You paced in a circle. However, the Imp had other plans.

“So, this is the company you’re keeping nowadays? Bounty hunters and criminals?”

Focus. Don’t get carried away.

“You understand it, right? They’re not on our level. Nowhere near it. Completely inferior. I suppose it’s my own fault for letting you go.”

Letting you go. As if you hadn’t tried to remove his head from his shoulders in your fight for an escape pod.

“Won’t you say something? As much as I’m glad you’re okay, I’m not overly fond of the hospitality here and would like for us to get going as soon as possible.”

What?

“You think I’m going anywhere with you?” You practically hissed it. Only once he smiled did you realize you had given him what he wanted… engagement.

His head tilted. “Aren’t you? What life do you have here, amongst the rabble?”

You have one. You have one. A place, a purpose.

“Don’t you remember?” You hate his smile. You could slice lines up his face, from the corners of his mouth to his hairline. “You were made to serve.”

There’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop the onslaught of memories, the mere utterance of those words enough to shake them loose. Even through the haze of repression.

You’re shaking, so weak that you can barely keep your head from drooping. Your hands are tied with binders to the ceiling, so high that you have to rise on your toes to release the strain from your shoulder. A rib might be broken, maybe two. Not that it mattered; the droid would patch you up anyway. It always did, after every round, over and over and over…

“Let me go.” It was a pathetic wheeze, croaky and quiet.

Two of the men leer. “Sorry? What was that?” One caresses your face before rearing back and throwing a fist. You’ve numbed to the pain a bit, but you still feel the sharp sting of your own teeth cutting into the inside of your cheek. You lose purchase on the floor and hang, the impact brutal on your shoulders.

“Please.” You would beg, on your knees if you needed to. “Please, let me go.”

He’s there. Lifting your head with an iron grip on your chin. “And where would you go, dear?”

You have no ship, you can’t fly, your knowledge of planets is minimal. You have nowhere to go.

“What life could you have outside of this?” 

Your head is throbbing. You might pass out.

“This is your purpose. You were made to serve. Don’t ever forget that.”

Your vision goes black.

Perhaps it’s because you were squeezing your eyelids shut, trying so hard to block out the vivid recollection. You shook your head like a crazed person, grabbing at your scalp. Like you could feel the pain. The pounding ache of having been hit too many times. Oh maker, the pain.

Breathe. You’re out. Din’s just outside the stairwell. Listen. You can hear his heartbeat. He’s right there. Breathe with him.

He was solid as a stone when you sensed him, leaned against the wall. You wondered if he could hear—probably not. You could remember what it was like to kiss him, feel his skin against your own, his hair, trace the angles of his jaw. It was so recent, so fresh. Not like the other memories. You could forget the agony, replace it with pleasure. Softness and warm pressure. 

Your eyes opened in their natural hue. The Imp was clapping, a slow, sharp staccato. “Impressive. Is that a Jedi technique? Does it help to play pretend?”

Get the info. Get it done and get out. You took another deep breath.

“You answer my questions, or I walk.”

He didn’t reply, just assessed you. It wasn’t a yes, but it also wasn’t a no. But you could feel that he wanted to answer—or rather, he wanted to talk—but either way, he didn’t want you to leave. It was beyond unsettling.

“Have you found him?” Please no, please no, please—

“So, you believe me now?”

“No. I just want to make sure Palpatine stays dead.”

His smile was absolutely vile. “There are more ways than one to ensure that that doesn’t happen.”

He could be lying. Trying to extend his relevance, his usefulness. Half truths. Half answers. Always cryptic. You were so tired of this. Of the worry, the fear, of looking behind you anytime the light dimmed and the dark intensified, just in case.

You stepped closer. “What do you know?” 

There was a sparkle of crazed excitement in his eyes. “I know that it’s inevitable. There’s not a single thing you can do to stop it from happening. All you can do is be ready.”

“Ready for what?” But he was already on the uncontrolled ramble of a zealot.

“I’ve made you ready. I’ll be a hero. I’ll get what I was promised. We—”

“We what?” Every muscle in your body was tensing dangerously. Warning alarms. “What were you promised?”

“Look at you.” He was breathless. “You’re perfect. I crafted you—”

He believed it. All of it. It may be bullshit, but it was the truth from his tongue. There was a pain in your chest. You wouldn’t go back. Couldn’t. Because if he was right and Palpatine did come for you, you knew that Dinwouldn’t stand aside. Grogu wouldn’t. And you knew what he would do to them, what he would make you watch him do. Din was a powerful warrior, but he wouldn’t stand a chance against the Emperor. Palpatine would break him apart.

“What were you promised?” You didn’t notice the walls start to tremble. The loose sandstone start to fall in small puffs of dust.

“The Force. I was promised the Force.” His eyes were blown wide, rimmed with red. “We would be equals. We will be.”

Shaking. Your bones, your eyes, the very structure of the palace around you. “That’s not possible.”

“Times are changing. Why do you think Gideon wanted the child so badly?”

Grogu. Everything stilled. He looked triumphant.

“I could just kill you right now.”

“You won’t do that.” He reached an arm through the bars, as if he expected you to take his hand. “Because if you do, you prove me right. If you do, you become everything you insist you aren’t.”

That was it. That was all you could take. Because as you turned for the steps, blocking out the voice behind you, you knew that he had a point. You wanted to kill him. You wanted to take your time with it. Make it hurt. And what did that make you?

You made it to the top of the steps and turned the corner too sharply, bumping into a wall of beskar. He didn’t say a word, just held you. You couldn’t find the energy to hold him back. You were still seeing flashes of imagined images. His helmet, splattered with blood. The handsome head you were just starting to become familiar with severed from his broad shoulders. Grogu’s cry of anguish. There was something numbing about the information he had given, a sense of futility to every action you had taken and would take. What if none of it mattered?

“I’m going to get some air.” You pushed away from him, and he let you go.

He had seen you through many moods recently, but never such empty hopelessness. And he felt hollow himself, watching you walk away, because he had no idea what to say to make any of it better. Din could tell you what he believed, but this wasn’t up to him. There was, however, one thing he could do. Maybe it was petty and stupid, but Din descended the stone staircase with a muted smile on his face.

The Imp was facing the back wall of the Rancor pit, kicking at a pile of picked-clean bones in the corner. They might have been human; Din wasn’t sure. He must have heard the footfalls because he called out without turning: “Made up your mind that quickly?”

“Oh, my mind’s made up.” It was satisfying to catch him off guard. “My mind was made up the second she told me about you.”

“She told you, did she?” Din had no mind-reading abilities, but he could easily sense just how much this man despised him. And he had a nauseating hunch as to why. “What, exactly, did she tell you Mandalorian? I’m curious as to which parts she conveniently left out.” He pulled down the dirty collar of his uniform. “Did she tell you about this?”

You hadn’t. But he found himself smiling wider. The pale pink scar practically stretched from ear to ear. You had tried to slit his throat. Good girl.

“Did she tell you about how she slaughtered my men? How she left a trail of blood to the escape pod? She was still young then. She murdered them like animals. Did she tell you about that?”

Din crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. He was actually quite enjoying this story.

“What about the choke? I doubt she’s learned to control it.” He cocked his head. “But, then again, maybe you’re into that sort of thing.”

Ah. “That’s it, isn’t it?” Din could tell he had struck a nerve. “It’s jealousy.”

“I don’t know what you’re—”

He pushed off, stepped forward a touch, into the light of the opening above. “You wish you were me. You wish she saw you the way she sees me. As an ally, a protector…” A vein was starting to bulge in the Imp’s forhead. “…a lover.” 

He threw a fist against the bars. “You’re fooling yourself, Mandalorian. You’re like a child holding a blaster. You have no idea how dangerous she is. She’s some pretty girl to you… a trophy.” He spat at Din’s feet. “You make me sick.”

Struck a nerve. He had to laugh, though it was humorless. He still believed in your superiority, truly; next to him you were practically royalty. But you had chosen him… and that was enough. His riduur. 

He pondered for a moment, about telling the Imp of the vows you had made last night, the depth of them. If only just to piss him off. But it was none of his business. He didn’t need to prove himself. So instead, he said: “You’re going to die here. And maybe she won’t be the one to kill you, but if she doesn’t then I will. And if she doesn’t want me to, then Fett will, or Shand. You won’t leave this palace alive; you’ll bleed out in that cell. That’s a promise.”

“What’s your point, Mandalorian?”

“My point is that I suggest you make peace with the things you did to an innocent girl.” He turned to leave. “And I sincerely hope you don’t believe in the afterlife.”

It was a scorching day on Tatooine, but you had been lucky enough to catch an edge of the rounded palace walls that welcomed both shade and a light breeze. It was there that you had sat for the past hour, staring out over the dunes, lost in an endless free fall of thoughts.

Since the day you escaped and crashed onto Sorgan, you had taken part in a never-ceasing internal battle between light and dark. Trying to prove to yourself that you weren’t the culmination of your history. And this—the decision to kill him or leave him alive—it played directly into that conflict. He was right. But he had to die. And it was no one’s responsibility but your own.

You heard him coming, you always did. But Din still didn’t say a word, just sat cross-legged to your left. You were both silent for a long time, the hiss of shifting sand the only sound. But you eventually leaned closer, like magnets drawn together, until your head met his shoulder.

“He’s right, you know. About me.”

“Bantha shit.”

“Din…”

He straightened and you moved your head, already loathing the loss of contact. “No. Stop. You don’t get to do this now. I know you.”

“You know who I am since I met you, that’s different.” You pulled at your scalp in frustration. “Who I was before, the things that I did—”

“You did to survive. You didn’t have a choice. With me, you do.”

“So then what about the Weequay in Mos Eisley? The crystal, Din. And on the Razor Crest when I had that nightmare, and you woke me?”

“Stop it.” His tone was harsh in a way you hadn’t heard from him very often. “I have never…” He trailed off, voice straining. “I have never met anyone like you. Who acts for others, cares so strongly, even after what you’ve been through.” You can hear his shaky inhale. “Cyare, you’re a fucking miracle.”

You were trying so damn hard to keep your bottom lip from trembling.

“Killing him won’t change that. It won’t change a damn thing. Not to me.” He cupped your jaw, turning it to face him. “You’re still you. You always will be.” A light laugh. “Even with yellow eyes.”

You managed a smile through the few tears that had already fallen. He wiped at one with a gloved thumb.

“He might be right about some things, but the depth of your character is not one of them.”

That got your attention.

“What do you mean?” He didn’t reply. “Din. What did he say to you?” 

He kept stroking a thumb absentmindedly over your cheekbone. When he finally spoke, it was only a breathy whisper. “You are. Above me. I don’t deserve to touch you; I don’t even deserve to breathe your air.” It felt like you were being gutted. “I don’t deserve to want you. He’s right about that.” He huffed a mirthless laugh. “As if I could even help it.”

Oh, stars. What a fucking pair the two of you made, both so convinced you were unworthy of the other. It was almost hilarious. “This is stupid,” you said as if it was an epiphany. “That is so stupid.” You punched him, square on the breastplate. He barely even moved, but your hand hurt so badly that you had to shake it out.

That eclipsed your problems. Din Djarin, singlehandedly responsible for teaching you to trust again, for bringing you back from the brink maker knows how many times, for making you feel love and pleasure so strong it burned a hole in your chest. He thought himself unworthy of you.

“I’m going to kill him.” Din’s helmet cocked to one side at your quick change of heart. “And then I’m going to show you why that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.”

“I love you.” Those three words, the way they rolled off his tongue, crackled through the vocoder, they were so charged with emotion that they singed through you like a blaster bolt.

He stood and then offered a hand down. “Do you want me with you?” You took it, rising to your feet and brushing sand off of your trousers.

“Yes. Please.” Always.

He only nodded. Waited for you to make the first move. And when you finally stepped ahead of him, walking back to the mouth of the palace, he had a hand on the small of your back, as if he knew the depth of comfort that it offered.

You didn’t want to keep looking over your shoulder. Because you would. If you left him alive now, no matter where the three of you went in the galaxy, there would always be the possibility of him looming, of Palpatinelooming, just around the corner. And it wasn’t just about you. This was about keeping Grogu safe too. And you would do absolutely anything to protect him, even if it meant… whatever it meant.

The roughly hewn rock cavern was cool, mercifully. Though it did little to stifle the heat of your nerves, the sweat rolling between your shoulder blades. The clamminess of your hands. Din stayed a few paces behind.

“So, what’s it going to be?” His ability to remain unruffled in the face of possible death was almost admirable. You throat was too dry to reply, so you focused instead on the gate control panel. It rose up with an unpleasant screech. You could see him assessing your own features, Din’s stance. He didn’t believe you would do it, but he was smart enough to realise he wasn’t escaping.

“Really?” His eyebrows rose. “You’re going to make him do it for you? At least have the decency to kill me yourself.” A last ditch attempt. If only he knew that your mind was made up. You reached a hand behind you, not taking your eyes off the Imp. You weren’t taking any chances. Din understood; he always did.

But you had expected the blaster. A single shot to the head and it would be over. That wasn’t what Din handed you. The handle was smooth, heavier than you expected, all sharp angles and cool steel. Harsh? Maybe. But people had been known to survive a blaster bolt. 

It ignited smoothly. You swung it low, experimental. The blade hummed in response.

And suddenly there was fear—real fear—in his eyes. And oh, how it made your blood sing. 

“You won’t.” I sounded like he was trying to convince himself. He gaped at you, mouth opening and closing, searching desperately for words that might spare his worthless life. “He’ll come for you!”

You advanced, rolling the darksaber’s hilt in your grasp. Palms slick with sweat. “You’re delusional.” You wish you believed it more. There was no fanfare, no grand moment. You drove the darksaber through his chest without pause, without hesitation. And it didn’t feel wrong. It didn’t feel evil. You were glad to see the light leave his eyes. But the words he uttered in his last breaths would stay with you for a long time, rousing you from nightmares for years to come.

“The master… needs an apprentice.”

You looked majestic holding the saber. It didn’t seem as heavy for you as it did for him, perhaps because you were already used to the weight of power. Din felt pride swell in his chest like a blooming flower.

The symbolism that the Imp had put upon his own death was bullshit, but he had known it would affect you, cloud your judgement. The truth? It was that he deserved to die, brutally, and that regardless of who made the killing blow, it was justified. Din only thought, fleetingly, that it was too easy. That he deserved a slower demise, more painful. That perhaps your actions had even been merciful. Maker knows that if Din had been the one to do it, his methods may have blanched even Fett’s already Sarlacc-bleached skin.

He had crumpled to the floor, the edges of his wound glowing slightly as the skin cauterized. You were heaving, lost in the moment of death. So he brought you back, and hand on your elbow snaking to your hand, helping you to extinguish the darksaber. You let it happen, leaned into his touch. Turned to him and smiled, because it was over, because this time he wasn’t coming back. He loved being the one to center you. That smile was haunted, tinged with some far-reaching darkness that he knew wouldn’t pass easily. But it wouldpass. With time.

“Let’s go get our kid.” 

You nodded, and he watched the stiffness ease from your shoulders. You looked tired. So tired. Din pulled you into his chest.

“It’ll be okay.” He would burn the galaxy down to ensure it.

You went to take a shower. You had stumbled over your words, trying to explain why. Din had stopped you, knowing the reason innately, having experienced it himself. A need to wash the deed off, to clean the blood that hadn’t even stained your hands. He sought out Fett while you were gone, thanked him, refueled the Crest. 

They were both quiet as they worked, a lack of words available to describe what they wished to say. Finally, Boba broke the silence.

“Take care of her. Protect her. She needs you. They both do.” 

Din nodded in acknowledgement, not trusting himself to speak stably. Boba seemed to catch on quite easily, stopping his tinkering with one of the hull’s new outer panels. 

“I know what it’s like… to feel like you don’t deserve happiness. After everything you’ve done.” Din stilled, hand hovering over the fuel tank lid. “Learn to be selfish sometimes, Djarin. It’s the one thing you’ll never regret.” 

Fett didn’t wait for a reply, clapping him once on the back before moving to exit the hanger. “You’ve always got a landing pad with us. Don’t forget that.” His murmur of thanks came too late; Boba had already left.

The shower had only half helped, but seeing Din again, bent over and fussing with wiring, was much more effective.

“Need a hand?” He jumped a little; you must have been too quiet on approach. “Sorry.”

He rose to full height, and you shrunk under what you could tell was an assessing look, even with the helmet. “How are you feeling?”

“Better now.”

 His head tilted. “Be honest with me, please.”

You sighed, because of course he could read you. “I’ll be okay.” He was too quiet, probably running through ideas of how to put a smile on your face. The idea of it was enough to do just that. You swore that you could see his stature loosen. “Let me help with the cables. Your hands are too big.” You swatted Din to the side, crouching over the panel he had been studying.

“The ramp’s been fussing. I came in too hard when I landed, probably shorted something. And the cockpit door doesn’t close. Um. It’s dented.” You knew why. But the information made you study him, looking up into the dark T of the visor. Fennec had told you briefly about how he had practically stormed the palace, leaving a trail of incapacitated Gamorreans in his wake in his rush to get to the throne room. ‘Panicked,’ Shand had said. You had never seen him panicked before, even when the kid had been taken. Always cool and calculated.

Wires momentarily forgotten, you rose steadily and circled your arms around his middle, cheek resting against that divot in his breastplate. He stiffened at the suddenness of your movement. 

“Thank you. I haven’t said it… I don’t say it nearly enough.” His body felt nice in the circle of your arms, warm and sure and real. You could feel the shudder of his inhale as he hugged you back.

You had pushed your boundaries with him recently, physically. But this… the simplicity of being able to curl your arms around each other, share breath, feel his heartbeat on the other side of a beskar plate, and know what it meant; you wouldn’t trade it for a single thing. 

And to think that you thought you might never experience this. Such an all-consuming type of love, a fierce protectiveness, a family. 

Maybe the stories had been right; perhaps the stars did align sometimes.

Even with all the events of the day, Din and you were early to Mos Eisley. The suns were getting low, but only enough to cast that warm reddish glow upon the sand. You both sat on the ship’s extended ramp, looking out towards the street. It regaled you with memories of only a few days prior. And how impossible it seemed that so much had happened in such a short period of time. 

Din had kissed you before opening the Crest, once… twice… more times than you could count. Your lips felt swollen, but you doubted you would ever get enough of him. The crowds were getting louder as spectators made their way back from the podracing track, their ruckus travelling into the landing bay and echoing off the walls. It was… nice. Really nice. One thing could make it perfect.

A shrill cry stood out over the commotion. One that you knew all too well. He tried his best to run towards you, short legs tripping over the long fabric of his cloak. You and Din met him halfway, scooping him up from the sand, dusting it off his clawed feet. Grogu cried out in joy, and you tried and failed to stop the wave of emotion before it crested. Because from him you felt such love that it bore a hole straight through your heart. Love and happiness and bone-crushing relief. 

“He was worried about us,” you told Din, laughing through blurred vision. You were holding the child in your arms, and Din was holding you in his. Grogu messed with your earlobe with one clawed hand, and the fabric of Din’s cowl with the other. 

So this was what home felt like.

“We’re good, Grogu. We’re okay.” Din was fussing with his ears, such a tender motion. “Hope you minded your manners, kid.”

Peli’s high pitched voice cut through the moment. “Well, what am I? Chopped liver?” All three of you looked up at the same time.

The tiny woman had both hands on her hips, a fond smirk across her lips. She closed the distance between you. “Kid’s an absolute joy. A menace… but a joy. You two sure you don’t have any more galaxy-wide adventures you need to take care of?”

Din squeezed your waist. “We’re on sabbatical. Extended leave.” 

She nodded in appreciation. “Good. Take them both somewhere real nice then. Five-star resort, renowned chefs, the works.” She muttered under breath: “Maker knows you can afford it.”

Grogu cooed. You wondered if he was starting to recognize the word chef, given its association with his absolute favourite word, food.

“Something like that,” Din answered. You hadn’t really discussed you plans to follow this, your priority having been getting the kid back. It didn’t matter too much to you, not really, not as long as you had the two of them at your side. 

He had already punched in the coordinates when you came up behind him, Grogu on your shoulder, your hand on his own.

“Can I ask something of you?” You were wearing the vambraces. He was momentarily speechless, forgetting you had just posed a question. They fit perfectly. He wondered, awestruck, just how the Armourer did it. She had once said that each piece speaks of its wearer as she strikes it into shape. He wondered if she saw you.

Beautiful. And all his. 

“Din?”

“Anything you want.” His voice was breathy, caught off guard. Your bashful smile was heavenly. He wanted to kiss you… kiss the beskar… fuck you with nothing but the gauntlets on. Grogu squawked sharply at the both of you, as if to say ‘Get on with it.’ 

You laughed, before the smile faded into something more muted. Apprehension, curiosity.

“I want…” You fiddled with the tattered edge of his cape, toying with a hole in it, taking a deep breath before meeting his eyes again. “I want to go see Skywalker.”

“I thought you might say that.” He noted your look of well-camouflaged surprise. “There’s a box for you in hull storage, when you’re ready.” He knew that you knew what was in it. He was going to get choked up if you kept looking at him like that. Din spun back around to face the dash. “I’ve got to redo my calculations now.”

“I’m sorry.” He had to smile at the dismayed tone of your voice.

He was quick to reassure. “Don’t be. It’s the right choice. I’m proud of you.” He let the words settle and it was quiet in the cockpit for a time, apart from Grogu’s occasional babble, which was starting to sound concerningly more like actual words. Maker, forbid.

As he circled Tatooine and emerged into the inky blackness of space, you asked: “Where were we going to go?”

He grinned under the helmet. “I’d rather keep that a surprise for now, if that’s alright with you?” You probably knew anyways; you could probably guess.

You slept with him.

Not like that; you were both a little apprehensive with Grogu only metres away. The pram was closed, as was the door to the cot, but it was still new. Simply sharing a bed with Din, however, was just as nice.

He snored—albeit lightly—but it made you smile. He had tugged the helmet off once the kid was asleep and had let you run your fingers through his tamped-down hair. He had said you were fussing. You had told him to shut it. So he had fallen asleep with his head on your lap, a broad hand curled over your knee. He had bent his spine at an impossible angle, but you could wake and shift him as soon as you put this damn datapad down.

You were looking up Luke Skywalker, ‘doing your homework,’ as Din had said earlier in a gruff and sleepy voice. However, it had only worsened your nervousness. He was a hero, known across the galaxy for his role in the defeat of the Empire… of the Emperor. He stood against everything you were taught, a figure of unyielding good in the face of what was once impending darkness. Practically a deity. Would he loathe you? Because you might remind him of his past, what he fought against, what he lost. Or would he be sympathetic? Vader was his father, after all. Would he understand corruption, a turn to the dark for survival, because there was no other choice? Would he see you as someone who could be redeemed?

You sighed, sweeping a hand across your face. Your vision was starting to go unfocused, eyelids getting heavy as you fought against your own fatigue.

“Put it down,” he mumbled, squeezing your knee. “I can hear you overthinking; it woke me up.”

That made you laugh. “No, it didn’t. Liar.”

Din grunted and rose on his elbows, plucking the tech from your hands and depositing it in the makeshift hammock above. He then grabbed you by the hips and dragged you down, until you were flat on your back. You yelped. “Sleep.” It was a command.

You couldn’t have resisted even if you wanted to. Because he had caged you into him, arms winding around your waist and tightening. You melted to fit his body.

“Love you.” It was barely intelligible, just a string of syllables muttered into your neck, but it was enough. More than enough. It was everything.

“I love you, Din,” you replied. He hummed in satisfaction.

You left your worries behind for another night.

Taglist: @that-girl-named-alex @aavengingbucky @prismaticpizza @blub-senpai @a-phan-of-youtube @jaguarthecat @lizajane3 @come-hell-or-eldren-fire @graciexmarvel @soobinsrose @simply-maggie @alwaysdjarin @minky77 @tinytinturtle @tae27 @groguspicklejar @slightlyuglierbeyonce-blog @willow-t @abbyhaslongshorts @andrewshotspot @racetrackheart @leithatnight @messageinadaisy @lostinsideourminds @wren-2-d @goth-cowgir1 @aphterthoughtt @sleeplessskeleton @teawrites01 @dashlilymark @imherefordeanandbones @sunshine96 @kalea-bane @http-onie @focusedarrow @tremendum

[ruanbaijie]

You watch a lot shows. Is snowfall one you would highly recommend?

I don’t watch a lot of shows or movies but I’m kind of feeling like picking one up, but I want it to be a good one.

okay this comes with a hugeass disclaimer: I am extremely biased towards this show, because my all-time favourite hyper-specific trope is vampires Done Right - i.e. with a healthy dose of longing and yearning, angst and pain, and inner conflict

and snowfall delivers that ✨ exquisitely ✨

so yes, it's one of the best shows of all time that I've watched, never mind the 7.9 rating on mdl (am I salty? yes I'm salty. some people don't have taste.), never mind how the plot is actually pretty simple. secondhand embarrassment-inducing cgi aside, I've actually come to terms with how it ended especially after having read the novel, and I'd say I'm actually pretty satisfied even with the show ending

in any case, it's not a long show (another thing I'm also very salty about) and it's very easy to binge

more reasons why you should totally watch it:

A++++ cinematography

republican era aesthetics

everyone looks like they've walked out from a runway (in this house we do not talk about the ninja knights in sparkly disco pants)

the most unexpected humour

hints of yaoi (I'm not kidding)

a soundtrack that is small but really hits

brilliant acting

gao weiguang

gao weiguang with long hair

gao weiguang with long hair in republican era clothes

[i-think-were-alone-n0w]

if i see ONE MORE PERSON say that season 4 five was "mischaracterised" or "written poorly" im gonna seriously say some (not) nice words.

So, here's a break down of five and lila's arc importance to his character, and to the show

note: this is not biased, and not centered on the ship. this is purely an analisys on his behaviour and it's not held togheter by the fact i ship them. in fact, i was the biggest diego and lila shipper, with diego being my favourite character.

to begin with, as we know, five has only ever "loved" a goddamned mannequin before.

throughout the entirety of the show, how many times have we seen this man be happy? how many times have we seen him genuinely smile?

it felt like for the first time in a good while, we saw five happy. we saw a smile on his face like never before. the look in his eyes when talking to lila, especially in this exact scene;

here we can see how in love he looks, he looks like lila put the stars in the sky just for him, he looks as if they were the last humans alive.

at last, five's ideal timeline was growing old with lila, even if it meant abandoning his entire family and leaving the two of them alone.

now, can you imagine his emotions when lila was upset and wanted to go back? can you imagine his heart shatter when he heard her saying it all meant nothing to her?

because to him, it meant everything. she was his everything now. after seven long years, he was ready to give it all up. here we see five opening up in a way, (for probably the first time in the show), where he's soft, he's emotional, and he has so much love to give. he would make her a hand-made bracelet. he would hunt for their food. he would sit there alone and water those stupid strawberries all day, if it meant being by her side and loving each other. and at last, he would tell her the truth, risking his ideal life he's achieved, but hoping that she felt the same.

but she didn't.

no, i will not deny any of diego's pain. he's been through so much and he did NOT deserve any of what happened to him. lila managed to hurt both of these men and managed to make it a mess. i dont entirely blame her, but you get me. at the same time, yes, i will pity five. he's been through so much, and at his final moments, he managed to get stuck and fall in love with someone he can't have. no matter how hard he loved her, theres was something to stop it.

in this arc, its important we see through and to five. its important we see once again how much he values love. after all, all he does fir his family, is from love. do you people remember how much he valued delores in the first season? he was protecting that mannequin with his life. here we can see how a man's desperation can push him to things, sure. but some of you don't see how he was genuinely in love here!

i love them ALL so much, and they will forever hold a special place in my heart. if you're still not convinced five was in love with lila, here's some further evidence:

- of course, the bonding moments they've has during those years, that we've already seen or never got to

- the look in his eyes whenever they talked

-"okay, love." after he gave her the bracelet;

-at the end, when he held her in the subway. that look, that hold. it held so much love. the soft and reassuring action here, as well as the "i know." in response to lila's "i hate you for this"

- the way that, even when her and diego were arguing, and she already told him she has to go back, five was still looking at her with hope and anticipation. hoping she could still love him.

-the way she's the only one he's ever opened up to. he's been in that apocalypse for far longer, and when he came back, he didnt open up to any of his family that he trusted. but to lila, he did. he would.

i could probably add more, and i'll make more if needed. what's real is that five and lila have always had great chemistry, and i didn't hate them as much as everyone says. in fact, i kind of ship them. however, this is heavily influenced by the fact i just want five to be happy, but it seems he's fell in love with the wrong person. well. not like it matters now. they're all gone. happy tua ending, fuck me

[theoutcastrogue]

[D&D PLAYTEST] Pleasant surprise: 5.5 is actually getting good! And in combat I can FINALLY do something more exciting than "hit it again"

So this was my biggest issue with 5e: when I play a character who's good at hitting things, as opposed to flinging spells at things, I want to do cool shit! I love tactical combat, and I can't stand it when "I hit it again" is the only option of a martial character. Everyone should have options, but especially the Rogue. (I'm biased, yes, but the Rogue is conceptually the one class that fights dirty.) And disappointingly, not even the Swashbuckler got manoeuvres in 5e. For everyone other than Battle Masters and monks with Stunning Strike, our only options in 2014 were a measly Shove / Grapple / Disarm IN PLACE of an attack (for many of us, our only attack), and that was WITH optional DMG features. And Tasha's additions were only a marginal improvement.

You couldn't impose conditions with an attack, which, from a simulation aspect, is just silly. Any two-bit caster could do the craziest shit with spells, but an epic level martial couldn't even say "I hit 'em so hard or so deftly that they got a headache". For the most part, they could only say "I hit it again" and deal damage. And I hate that. It's boring. I even had an unfinished homebrew project of Called Shots, where you could spend a resource to do interesting shit with your attacks (give 'em disadvantage, make 'em dazed, reduce speed, that sort of thing). For Rogues, that resource was Sneak Attack dice. And guess what! In the latest version of the 5.5 playtest, WE GET THAT!

Can I get a fuck yeah, and also a fucking finally.

It's not an automatic win button, and that's good! I don't want win buttons (that's also boring), I want options. Cunning Strike is situationally useful, and that's ideal: if it's always good, you'd do it every time (so why isn't it a standard rule?), and if it's always bad, you'd never do it (so why does it exist at all?). If it's potentially good, depending on the situation, it means I get to THINK what I'm gonna do on my turn, and that's such a joy.

For years now, the only combat decisions my Rogues made in 5e were about movement/positioning, and how to get advantage. And co-ordinating with the others, which always happens, I mean it's a group game. But I had very little to contribute in that department other than flanking, I usually just waited for THEM to help ME to get advantage or something.

With this feature (which I'll be stealing as is, regardless of what happens to the playtest, or if I'm gonna adopt 5.5 as a whole or not), I can set up moves for others, I can impose conditions, so many things. Plus, it's customisable. Now that this basic framework is in place, anyone can fiddle with it and come up with new effects that fit their game and style. (I am NOT in favour of perfect rulesets that cover all bases, needs, and preferences, since that's an impossible and silly thing to ask. I am in favour of solid frameworks, that can be easily tweaked and built upon.) So I am ecstatic. I don't have to hit it again every time! Holy shit!

This is not a blanket endorsement of "One D&D" (I'll keep calling it 5.5, thankyouverymuch). It's still a work in progress, I haven't even read all of it in yet, and I do have issues with it, big and small. (And if my favourite class was the Monk, I'd be thumbs down right now: this one needs a lot of work, oof.) But with Weapon Mastery rules (another interesting development for martial characters), and better feats, and with this enormous improvement, I feel that some of the fundamental problems I had with 5e get... kinda solved. The new Rogue simply KICKS ASS. The whole class, not just Cunning Strike, it's a huge improvement. [Go read it, here's the PDF link.]

It's not overpowered, mind you. In terms of damage output it still lags behind Fighters and Barbarians and whathaveyou (which I'm perfectly okay with: Rogues are experts and skillmonkeys, they got stuff to do out of combat, meanwhile Barbarians have ONE JOB so they better be scary good at it), and full casters still slay. It just does cool shit, and I ask you: why do we even bother with the fuckton of combat rules in D&D if not to do cool shit?

See treantmonk's video below for a nice breakdown of the new Rogue. It's a few months old, and a couple of things have been revised since then: there's no "Arcane" spell list any more, so the Arcane Trickster presumably reverts to the Wizard spell list, and the Weapon Mastery rules are slightly different now. But they're very minor changes, and all the conclusions, with which I wholeheartedly agree, stand: this is simply FANTASTIC.

[akookminsupporter]

Hi

I hope you are well.

Please do not take this the wrong way or that I am attacking in any way because thats absolutely not my intention. I am also aware that someone's language can derive different meaning because it's so hard to decipher the tone while reading things as opposed to when someone speaks to you face to face. I would like to express this because I love the way you write and express yourself.

I hadnt actually been on Tumblr for a while because life has been hard lately but I have finally gotten some reprieve from real life so thought I would check it. You have been one of my favourite blogs so I of course read your stuff first. Now I would like to put my own cent for one of your posts. I read the one where you speak about how a lot of Jikook Tumblr blogs are Jimin biased. I actually completely disagree with you. And the only reason I disagree with you is because I am from the other side of Tumblr where most if not all the blog posts I follow for Jikook are JK biased pretending to be Jikook biased.

I have literally had so many of these people say to me that it's okay for JK to get all the company support because JK will ensure that JM gets the support he needs. What the fuck does that even mean? Like I get that they are okay with JK getting a lot of.suport and I am fine with that because who the fuck am I judge what they get and don't get. But to stop me from voicing my disappointment with the company because apparently noticing the blatant lack of support to Jimin's music and promotion is somehow anti JK. How does that even make sense when I am fully happy with JK and his achievement.

These set of people were pissed off at JM because he didn't make the time out of his busy schedule to come to JKs concert after his Budapest stint. Mind you these people were trying to tell me how it was uncool of JM not to attend his concert but these were the same people who then were okay with JK just watching JMs content from his own home. Mind you, when I called them out on their double standard, their response was passive aggressive as fuck. Like yes it cute that JK was watching JMs stuff but also he was in Korea most of the time. Why did he not attend a lot of Jimins promotional stuff? The car scene of AYS further reiterated the fact that JK was free and had a lot of time when JM was busy as fuck but why isn't he expect to go and physically visit him? How is Jimin expected to be on everyone's stuff but Jimin can't be expected to have the same.

I think what I am trying to say is that the double standards are stupid as fuck but super gross when it comes to Jikook. I have only seen side where the way they treat JM is kinda gross but I am glad that you are part of the other side so I can see that they are all immature and there is no winning them.

I read the one where you speak about how a lot of Jikook Tumblr blogs are Jimin biased.

When did I say that? Did I say those exact words? Would you mind sending me the link to the post where I said that?

[deadcactuswalking]

Every UK Christmas #1 Ranked & Reviewed

The Official Charts Company – my second favourite national institution behind being miserable – claims that the biggest annual chart race for Christmas number-one started in 1952, and that’s a bit of a retcon. Sure, that’s when what is largely recognised as the predecessor to the modern chart started publishing but realistically, there wasn’t an actual Christmas song on top that week until 1955, and there only became a coherent and fully realised, modernised idea of what the chart is and means years later… kind of, you could argue it will never reach that, but pedanticism be damned, it really started in the 70s. This was when glam rock bands started releasing Christmas singles. Why glam rock bands, you ask? I’d say it’s the most glam rock thing to do, releasing a flashy novelty Christmas single and running up the charts every year, and really, when it comes to iconic Christmas songs in the UK specifically, most of our homegrown ones come from this decade onwards. So does that mean I’m ignoring those pre-Slade? No, I just like proving OCC wrong. The sales on Christmas Day rarely count for the #1 anyway, it’s all fake, nothing’s real, and no one cares. I’m cactus, I write REVIEWING THE CHARTS, a show about the UK Singles Chart, every week, and this is a special episode about the holliest hits, the jolliest jingles, the merriest melodies, and really, the only time people outside of BTS stans care about the charts or still buy singles. This is:

Every UK Christmas #1 Ranked from Worst to Best

content warning: language, UK politics, discussion of sex, death, drugs and tragedy (merry Christmas)

Now, ground rules: I’m basing my list off of OCC’s official list which is copied on Wikipedia and Spotify if you don’t want to use their… questionable site. Secondly, I’m not going to do a full grand review of every song, there’s 72 of the bastards, so this’ll more like a brief rundown of my opinions and what the hit represents – some of these I’ll have nothing to say about, some of these are fantastic pieces of music, and whilst the worst should be obvious, some of where the better songs land could be a bit of a surprise. There’s a whole compost heap of novelty garbage though so prepare for that, and yes, I am fully aware that this will be outdated within weeks, but that’s part of the fun in just how fast the chart moves and okay, I’m coping that all this work is going to be overshadowed by some AI clone of Michael Bublé making a Christmas remix of KSI’s “Thick of It” in a fortnight. Regardless, without further ado, what’s my least favourite Christmas #1 of all time?

…It’s LadBaby. Why wouldn’t it be? I mean, come on.

#72 – “Food Aid” – LadBaby (2022)

#71 – “Sausage Rolls for Everyone” – LadBaby, Ed Sheeran and Elton John (2021)

#70 – “Don’t Stop Me Eatin’” – LadBaby (2020)

#69 – “I Love Sausage Rolls” – LadBaby (2019)

#68 – “We Built This City” – LadBaby (2018)

Okay, I may be a bit biased. After all, I have been writing this blog since 2018 and I’ve had one year – just the one that passed – where LadBaby doesn’t plague the Christmas chart with a one-week wonder, novelty charity song about sausage rolls. He’s dead-set on doing it, and whilst it’s all ostensibly to fight poverty, I’m not convinced it’s actually doing much to help – after all, the government needs to be involved in that and I’m not sure this Nottingham YouTuber duo of Mark and Roxanne Hoyle really have it in them to make a protest song considering how they’ve been dodging The Kunts for all these years… and you know, the time they got the Christmas #1 with a parody of “Do They Know it’s Christmas?”, one of the most insufferable and tone-deaf attempts at charity to ever have hit the charts. LadBaby had a five-year consecutive run at the charts, I’ve reviewed every single one of these on the weekly series, and with every passing year, the songs they derived from got worse, the sausage roll parodies became more of a stretch, the charity felt a whole lot less sincere, and worst of all, they became more insensitive. “Food Aid” and “Sausage Rolls for Everyone” are impressive feats – having a charity single lack that much human compassion is something only Band Aid had done before. And speaking of:

#67 – “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” – Band Aid 20 (2004)

#66 – “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” – Band Aid II (1989)

#65 – “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” – Band Aid (1984)

These are probably worse in every way compared to LadBaby, but listen, I have a personal vendetta to fulfil. This disgusting, neo-colonial pity jam has had three renditions hit #1 – thank God its failure of a 2010s reboot hit #1 a different week – and they’re also in reverse chronological order, largely because the attempts at modernizing what are gross reminders of the past get even more desperate and embarrassing, like the rap verse in the 2004 version. Also, I kind of like the synthpop chimes in the original (the best-selling single of all time bar “Candle in the Wind 1997” [#1, obviously] has to have some appeal) but regardless, this really deserves to be the selection of songs we have at the bottom… and the wonderful thing is, I don’t really have to elaborate further! I’ve written about all of the LadBaby songs at length from 2018 onwards during the Christmas episodes, and in 2022, I had the opportunity to knock out why I hate Band Aid so much too. If you’re really craving a takedown of LadBaby and Band Aid, feel free to read that episode, I’m proud of it. It gets Biblical. But for today, just know that “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” is one of my least favourite songs of all time – maybe I’ll write about the absolute worst one day – and LadBaby… well, maybe in a few years’ time, I’ll have warmed on the guy, he is just a “humble” fellow and his wife making sausage roll songs. The wounds are just too recent for me not to put him at the absolute bottom of the list… and hey, Bob Geldof, if you’re reading, which I know you’re not: Tonight, thank God it’s them, instead of you.

Since I don’t really want to validate these as songs, I will give their respective #2s for that year as an arguably healthier alternative. In 1984, #2 was a song that we’ll see later on, but in 1989, it was “Let’s Party” by Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers – that in itself is a fascinating deep dive into British novelty – and in 2004, it was Ronan Keating’s duet version of Yusuf Islam’s “Father and Son”, a song I love but not particularly that version. As for the streak of LadBaby #2s… check the backlog of this very blog. Now for a pedophile.

#64 – “Two Little Boys” – Rolf Harris (1969)

Don’t really think I have to explain this one. At least it’s not racist, I guess, but Jesus Christ. I mean, it’s truly inoffensive outside of context, even if a bit rote and boring; at least it’s mixed okay but it’s truly a novelty track in execution despite the fact that the song is real, predates Mr. Harris and is largely about war. It became popular during the 1900s and could be potent in its paralleling of childhood play to the battlefield… if maybe he didn’t spend five years in prison for fucking kids. Separate the art from the artist, sure, but we should have separated this guy from minors. Now for the lesser evil, Simon Cowell.

From 2005 to 2008 and then for a few non-consecutive years afterwards, Cowell’s The X Factor singing competition show had a stronghold on the Christmas #1 and whilst sappy ballads, bad covers and tired gimmicks had all hit the top of the Christmas tree before, there was something so disposable about these covers, mostly at a miserable pace and produced to be the most milquetoast pieces of music on any given chart week. They don’t vary wildly in quality, or even sonically, so once again, we have a bit of a one-fell-swoop situation. I can’t even get mad at the singers, they’re new, they were exploited by the show and just wanted a chance at fame, with most failing to really capture the country’s attention past their 15 minutes and that makes me genuinely sad for these guys, many of which were forgotten soon after they competed on the show. How many of the royalties they took home is also into question considering the skeevy Sycopath in charge of their careers, but I hope they made the most out of it by doing tons of coke and playing blackjack with hookers. This’ll be our last batch before I start giving the songs actually fair shakes, so let’s run through with a small opinion and once again, the Christmas #2 that year to give a healthy alternative:

#63 – “Mr Blobby” – Mr Blobby (1993)

No, not you yet, Blobbers, you’ll have your turn.

#63 – “Skyscraper” – Sam Bailey (2013)

I don’t even like the original, man. Pharrell Williams’ “Happy” was #2, so… yikes.

#62 – “Hallelujah” – Alexandra Burke (2008)

What may get lost in all the cover versions is that there’s something truly undeniable and powerful about Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” (#36, 2008). Speaking of the truly undeniable, this is oversung slop, and the late Jeff Buckley’s version hit #2 in protest.

#61 – “When We Collide” – Matt Cardle (2010)

I genuinely love the original version by Biffy Clyro, and he was pretty cool and understanding about how people will always prefer “Many of Horror” (#8, 2010) to his renamed, recycled rendition. One thing about a lot of these covers people neglect is how close some of them were to the original release, it felt like piggybacking and especially with this version, which to me, just saps the soul of the original. It’s competent but this is probably my favourite original song when it comes to these covers, so there’s an irrational distaste I have, even if sonically, I think I prefer it to other winners’ singles. Rihanna’s “What’s My Name?” featuring BBL Drizzy was #2.

#60 – “When You Believe” – Leon Jackson (2007)

This is a complete snore. There’s a lot to dig into when it comes to these singing competition shows, how the contestants were treated and how much of a media phenomenon they became, but consuming that sheer amount of 2000s cringe would kill me so leave it to some twink video essayist. Katie Melua’s virtual duet version of “What a Wonderful World” with Eva Cassidy, itself a strange novelty, was #2.

#59 – “A Moment Like This” – Leona Lewis (2006)

This is a cover of another singing competition-winning track from stateside, that being Kelly Clarkson on American Idol, and that’s just… really singing the quiet part out loud, isn’t it? Take That’s “Patience” was #2.

#58 – “Something I Need” – Ben Haenow (2014)

The mixing’s strange on this one, but I actually really like his voice and heard some good stuff from him back in 2015 so I bumped this one a bit higher. It also made use of the natural melodrama for a good stomp-clap rock tune so there’s some actual grit to this one… barely, but hey, it’s the little things. Mark Ronson’s “Uptown Funk!” featuring Bruno Mars was #2.

#57 – “That’s My Goal” – Shayne Ward (2005)

I’ll give this one props: it was the first winners’ single to hit #1 and it’s pretty easily the best. It’s still a soppy bore sung boringly, but it’s an original song – one he didn’t write, sure, but not a butchering of a better version, and it’s probably one of the least oversung and melodramatic. It’s catchy as all Hell and I’m even slightly nostalgic for it, so I’ll give it considerable praise for just being a step above the rest of its shoddy competition. Nizlopi’s “JCB Song”, a personal favourite of mine, was #2. Unfortunately, though these three plagues on the Christmas chart are the most prevalent, there’s still a series of saccharine charity bullshit from the 2010s that needs to be covered here, and it’s a bit tricky to discuss in general because there is, either hypothetically, in practice or both, a great outcome to the single’s releases, and there’s less publicised controversy than Band Aid and LadBaby, but they still don’t form particularly good musical experiences, in fact, most of them are still awful, and this three aren’t any different.

#56 – “Wherever You Are” – Military Wives featuring Gareth Malone (2011)

Choirmaster Gareth Malone, for his BBC television series, accumulated a choir of women who were wives and girlfriends of military personnel serving abroad, trained them to sing and release this single with both his name and the poppy plastered over it. Remembrance Day and the romanticisation of war by British institutions that enforces it has always given me an indescribable ick that no matter of choral vapidity will save, and the treatment of this single as simultaneously a serious and heartwarming contender for showing the UK’s appreciation of its soldiers sent to die in unnecessary wars, but also a novelty from a television show that had to be campaigned for to get a sole week at the top, really cements that – it may actually be the anecdote I use to express my issues with the commemoration from now on. Also, it does beg the question: Remembrance Day is in November, if you really cared about the cause, wouldn’t you make the timeline align at least?

#55 – “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother” – The Justice Collective (2012)

This is neither nor the time nor place to discuss either this original song, its main conceit in the title and how powerful it truly is, its religious connections, its backstory regarding its co-writer dying during its creation and its rich history of covers, or the tragedy of the Hillsborough disaster, in which due to negligence, 94 football fans died at a 1989 match’s crowd crush. It is to this day a heavy and sensitive topic, particularly in Liverpool, and I am far from an expert on the details to this case or even the song, which I suppose should be my forte but it feels way out of my depth to comment that much further. I’d love to read an essay or any kind of deep-dive one day about why this song in particular relates to football fans and why it was chosen because whilst I can assume a lot of thematic links, I simply cannot be an authority on this subject, and I shouldn’t be taken as an authority on any of this but even with research, it is plunging me into history and culture I don’t think is fit for me to comment on. For a summary of this release, it is another terrible celebrity all-star cover, this particular disaster’s Band Aid, and it is of little value sonically when compared to the Hollies’ brilliant 1969 rendition (#3) with Sir Elton John on piano. I do, however, respect that this blossomed from genuine disappointment and rage towards a series of domestic UK travesties – the idea for it emerged from a concert against The Sun newspaper during the News International trial, again, that is a huge can of worms – as well as a shared brotherhood that in other renditions, has made for powerful music. It still reeks of self-serving achievement given the all-star cast and the novelty factor, but this is the constant dichotomy of these kind of charity records, one which I covered in-depth in the aforementioned LadBaby episode.

#54 – “A Bridge Over You” – The Lewisham and Greenwich NHS Choir (2015)

Another, more indirect product of Gareth Malone, this one’s difficult to find a reason to dislike on a more principled basis other than my dislike for how the music is overly sentimental, kind of lazy in its arrangement, and produced in a muddy, distracting way that at its best emphasises the choir over their backing and at worst forms them into an amorphous blob with guitars and particularly rough drums that don’t really mesh. The campaign seems more genuine, started by a junior doctor to raise money for the constantly-undermined National Health Service of this country, but then again, I fail to see how the UK buying this single guarantees government-provided benefits or rids the plague of privatisation, it – like all novelty charity records – serves in some way to deflect, even if this is less obviously so, hence why it’s the highest entry. The government supported it by lifting tax, but had little involvement in the song, and there are no big names here in what was initially released independently in 2013, but what may soil it is the involvement of an NHS communications manager Joe Blunden, which at least to me raises some genuine concerns about how he could better channel these issues and the depressing reality that this is probably the best way he could do so. Also, I like the organs and I suppose mashing up “A Bridge Over Troubled Water” by Simon & Garfunkel (#1, 1970) with Coldplay’s “Fix You” (#4, 2005) is smoother here than it is tacky, and I’m just glad we can finally move onto some genuinely fun and interesting songs and trends, that I don’t have to mumble and grumble through.

#53 – “Mr Blobby” – Mr Blobby (1993)

What charity did you raise funds for? Blobsted? Blobbyline? The Blobby Heart Foundation? Get out of here. Now, with that out of the way, here is what may be my first hot take of the list.

#53 – “Lonely this Christmas” – Mud (1974)

One major part of my rationale for this list will be my memories watching Christmas music videos on those UK music channels that barely exist anymore, but I imagine still get most of their traction and viewers – if any at all – at Christmas time, wherein they can act as a holiday playlist, though with five minutes of ads after three songs and a not particularly varied selection. At least a decade ago, the presentation of these channels was something worth mentioning, one I remember being Noddy Holder – who we’ll get to – presenting his favourite Christmas singles and the effort, whilst not immense, was something, definitely more than you’ll get on anything more algorithmic nowadays. The worst part, of course, of a Christmas music video compilation will be the slow, boring performance videos of ballads, and this particular one by glam rock band Mud has always rubbed me the wrong way. The tacky festive affects and meek spoken word section are the icing on a really gross cake, one that serves as a pastiche of Elvis Presley, basically a note-for-note impression and therefore a mockery of the art of just making a damn good Christmas song, which Elvis, for all the fair criticisms, had done and will appear in this list. This is a (seemingly) sincerely longing and borderline begging song for a lover to return for Christmas, and it does so little to enforce the parodic elements that it becomes a painful slog with no reason to hear it: it’s not funny, it’s not sincere and honestly, it’s not even well-performed. I might actually hate listening to it more than the X Factor stuff.

#52 – “Long Haired Lover from Liverpool” – Donny Osmond (1972)

No, I think I’ll decline on the offer of you being my long-haired lover from Liverpool, Jimmy. Firstly, you’re from California, secondly, you’re nine years old, thirdly, your hair isn’t even long. Jokes aside, I’ve always found this one mostly just inappropriate. Sonically, it’s chintzy but fine, I’m just bothered by Little Jimmy Osmond talking about being a puppet for his “sunshine daisy from LA” who makes all the other flowers cry from her beauty. Even without the fact that he’s a child, it seems like the roles are a bit reversed in the song and like a weird choice for him to sing, just opportunistically chosen to capitalise on how popular and “cute” the Osmonds were at this point in time.

#51 – “Mad World” (2003) – Michael Andrews featuring Gary Jules

The washed-up, sugarcoated, whitened cover of a good, more interesting song has always been a thing, but this feels like the most immediate precursor to its most recent manifestation: the stripped-back piano cover by a relative nobody of a recognisable song to advertise some kind of product. Anyone who has watched British television adverts probably has an idea of what I mean, and it’s got to be a thing at least elsewhere in the Anglosphere. Hell, Calum Scott’s “Dancing on My Own” (#2, 2016) is a great example, I’m sure that’s recent enough for people to remember. The deal with this one is that Andrews composed the music for the film Donnie Darko in 2001, and its cult success led to a DVD release and two years later, this cover of the Tears for Fears track from 1983 (#3) with vocals from Jules hit #1. It’s stripped back and minimal, but suffers largely from the unsubtle and cumbersome vocal performance – I have no idea if this gains some extra potency in the context of the film but as a standalone single, it exacerbates the flaws of the song’s writing by stripping some of its layers and other than the honest performance, does little to cover it or preferably, find value in another aspect of the song – Demi Lovato took a similarly stripped down approach in her 2021 rendition but the fuzzier cinematics of the second half are a great build-up and Lovato’s vocals impress me much more than Jules, so it’s not the “overly serious piano version” trend just being written off as inherently bad here. It’s just not my particular favourite version of the song, and I’m glad that we’ve finally gotten around to one where my only problem is that the actual audio recording itself is one I find mediocre. Speaking of…

#50 – “I Love You” – Cliff Richard and the Shadows (1960)

A lot of the much, much older songs, especially those pre-Beatles, were new to me but I could find charm in them, a delightful energy or at the very least, a sweet brevity. Cliff’s “I Love You” is a strikingly basic and boring composition that, at two minutes, feels extensively longer thanks to the draining void of non-personality that is our lead vocalist, a constant fixture of the charts for a few decades and who we will be seeing again.

#49 – “There’s No One Quite Like Grandma” – St Winifred’s School Choir (1980)

God, I hate children’s choirs. This has had practically no unironic staying power, but prevented the actually resonant and annually played “Stop the Cavalry” by Jona Lewie (#3, 1980-1) from hitting its peak, and then this school choir chiming about their old nan would be replaced by the then-recently shot dead John Lennon. Imagine there’s no grandma, it’s easy if you try.

#48 – “What Do You Want to Make Those Eyes at Me For?” – Emile Ford and the Checkmates (1959)

I feel a bit bad placing this so low because the late Emile Ford, a Saint Lucian singer, sounded like a fine enough guy who made some genuinely important steps in sound engineering, and it is impressive to have such a big hit with your debut track without much name recognition – I’m sure Ford didn’t mind that despite not having the lasting recognisability other singers from the 50s have, he could still be in the history books for technically bagging a “Christmas number one”, though before it really mattered. It is just the song itself, particularly its lyrics, are dated and uncomfortable with their approach to flirting with women, and this is likely because it comes from a 1916 Broadway play, so I assume it makes more sense within that. Regardless, it’s definitely more successful and known as a standalone hit by Emile Ford, and it’s not a particularly good one at that.

#47 – “Mistletoe and Wine” – Cliff Richard (1988)

This was the rare occasion of a Christmas #1 to be announced after the day itself, I’m pretty sure the only one but there’s no 100% way to check that. It was announced a day late on Boxing Day because Christmas Day fell on the Sunday, the day charts would be revealed in that time, and being late enough to respect tradition – despite a Christmas chart being fully acceptable Christmas programming to me – whilst also late enough to leap over the point of why anyone cares about what you’re releasing and promoting in the first place… feels pretty representative of anyone still listening to Sir Cliff Richard in 1988.

#46 – “Saviour’s Day” – Cliff Richard (1990)

Or 1990, for that matter. This one’s actually worse, I just wanted to get the joke off.

#45 – “Mary’s Boy Child / Oh My Lord” – Boney M. (1978)

Disco group Boney M. deliver a bit of a medley here, an original song tacked onto a song we will  see in like five minutes. There are very few explicitly religious songs on this list despite the theme of Christmas, and this is mostly for the best within the context of this list as a lot of religious content will fail to resonate with me, especially something this flatly commercialised. A disco nativity scene is a fun novelty idea for a satire, maybe, but played completely straight, it’s just overly blatant and I don’t find much fun in it. It’s important to note that the forward slash here references the fact that it is a mashup, not two separate songs, which is not the case for…

#44 – “Mull of Kintyre” / “Girls’ School” – Wings (1977)

…okay, Paul. I have very little to say about this snooze of a release so I should take the opportunity to explain double A-sides, which seem like quite an outdated concept now but were quite common when physical singles were the main form of consumption. We’ll see one of the first important double A-sides later on, also involving the Beatles coincidentally, but the technique has existed since at least 1949 and all that it means is there is no designated B-side. Rather, both tracks on the record could be potential hits, no one side should be prioritised over the other. There are four of these in our list of Christmas #1s, and I’ll be counting them all as one entry.

#43 – “Moon River” – Danny Williams (1961)

I’ve never really been a fan of “Moon River” as a song, possibly because I’ve never seen Breakfast at Tiffany’s. It’s a sweet song, but a slow one that would require a lot from its performer to ultimately sell me on, and during 1961, so many different versions of the Henry Mancini-written track (#44, 1962) were released at pretty much the same time, very few of them were going to shake up the popular arrangement, and hence, we’re left with Danny Williams who is… fine? The problem here is that the song fails to have that floaty immersion that comes with its nostalgia, and the recording feels weirdly heavy for what should be easy listening. Hell, if anything, that main choral vocal sounds haunting against the strings and Williams takes up so much of the mix, it’s really a rough two and a half minutes. Williams was sometimes called Britain’s answer to Johnny Mathis and we will see him very soon with his awkward cover track.

#42 – “Answer Me” – Frankie Laine (1953)

Much like “Moon River”, there was heavy competition on the charts in regards to what version of this particular song would chart the highest, with the two that really went head-to-head being Frankie Laine and David Whitfield, a real US versus UK competition for the chart-topper and ultimately, both went #1, though the song had to be modified for its religious lyrics because, hilariously, something this inoffensive and dull was banned by the BBC.

#41 – “Mr Blobby” – Mr Blobby (1993)

No, Mr Blobby, not the Big Blobby Corporation. Please leave, sir.

#41 – “Stay Another Day” – East 17 (1994)

This is an interesting one, and I think boy band East 17 are nearly synonymous now with this single rather than any of their other releases, which really shows you how the Christmas canon can create classics and crush catalogues. For a while, I have been somewhat captivated by this song, somehow? There is a resonance to the song’s content, one often misinterpreted as a breakup song but actually about member Tony Mortimer’s brother committing suicide. Definitely written to possess a double meaning, however, the delivery of it is sold so sincerely in spite of the rougher nasal textures of the lead vocal take that it adds that detail of personal imperfection and helplessness in preventing that death from happening. The problem is the schmaltz of the arrangement (at least until the climax) and how tedious the chorus can be turn it into as much of a bore as it could potentially demonstrate the excruciating experience of losing a loved one and having nothing to do about it but feel guilt for how you could have helped… which is all cheapened anyway by the sleigh bells added lucratively for the Christmas market. There is something to a predominantly drumless track with the constant, echoed “Stay now…” mantra but I don’t think I’m exactly there yet. Check back in five months, and I’ll have been able to separate it from years of it being a downer on the Christmas music channels, it might genuinely be in my top 10 by then because it’s this close to clicking. For now… it doesn’t reach me like it should.

#40 – “Mary’s Boy Child” – Harry Belafonte (1957)

A good performance from a legendary singer and man I really respect cannot make “Mary’s Boy Child” work for me, it’s still a remarkably dull song about Jesus. This does not take away from Belafonte’s appearance on The Muppet Show, which is kino.

#39 – “Let’s Have Another Party” – Winifred Atwell (1954)

Pianist Atwell performed this little ragtime medley of several tunes and became the first black artist to ever hit #1 on the UK Singles Chart. She’s the only female instrumentalist to have ever done so. There is probably something to be said about how her voice is silent here, and she performs through the piano, and what that could have meant in the 50s, but at the end of the day, it’s a tremendous feat for what is essentially a novelty medley, one that I don’t really get the appeal of today which should be expected. The version on streaming combines the first part on the A-side with the B-side, which is simply a second part, a continuance to the medley, so you could argue that this is a double A-side in nature too. The second half is a bit slower and easier to listen to, but both sides remind me of Cooking Mama for the Nintendo DS and the first struck me as some goofy Looney Tunes bullshit amidst all the easy listening at the start of the list. There is a really weird surf guitar line in the second part that I can only describe as a hilariously unnecessary noise.

#38 – “When a Child is Born (Soleado)” – Johnny Mathis (1976)

“Soleado” is a composition by Italian musician Ciro Dammicco, with American singer Johnny Mathis recording an English version that isn’t explicitly making reference to Christmas but is pretty blatantly about the birth of Christ. It’s mostly a sentimental ballad but it stands out particularly because of a confusing spoken-word piece in the bridge where he decides to question what race Jesus is and if we’ll really ever know: “Waiting for one child – black, white, yellow, no one knows”. I understand that this is probably an attempt at saying Jesus is all races or of ambiguous race so that he will heal suffering regardless of the believers’ ethnicity, but it is still ridiculous to apply 1970s attitudes of race to a historical figure and also, remarkably out of place in this song.

#37 – “Rockabye” – Clean Bandit featuring Sean Paul and Anne-Marie (2016)

This is not a Christmas song, this is “Rockabye” by Clean Bandit and Sean Paul. Come on, it’s tropical house! The song was written by Ina Wroldsen who was swapped out for Anne-Marie at the last minute, despite the band’s insistence on Wroldsen as the vocalist. You can figure this out without searching anything because when Sean Paul shouts Anne-Marie out on the intro, it is clearly punched in from a different take and has an audibly different mix. Yup. Next.

#36 – “Save Your Love” – Reneé and Renato (1982)

This is a song performed by a duo of Hilary Lester (“Reneé”) and Renato Pagliari. “Reneé” did not even appear in the video, she was replaced with a model, and that makes the trivia that it’s supposedly the first fully independent single to reach #1 a bit sourer of a fun fact. It was written behind the guy behind a TV robot called “Metal Mickey”, so that’s about how seriously I’m taking this bilingual schmaltz.

#35 – “Somethin’ Stupid” – Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman (2001)

Most famously sung by Frank and Nancy Sinatra in 1967 (#1), this version by Robbie Williams who, if you don’t know and you’re reading a UK chart blog, I’m slightly confused, alongside Australian actress Nicole Kidman, is completely fine. The orchestra could be better implemented or not included at all, because the more lowkey Latin flavour to the duet is pretty cute, but that’s about all I have to say, it’s not really tied to Christmas or the grand scheme of music history in any way.

#34 – “Here in My Heart” – Al Martino (1952)

Well, here we have it: one of the most important songs in British pop music history, purely because it was the first single to ever hit #1 on what is largely considered the predecessor to the modern UK Singles Chart. The late Al Martino himself is American and was very successful stateside, so I’m not sure how much he would have cared exactly, but this performance is intense, very unsubtly so, and that drama of the chorus is something to behold… but it also really relegates all of its energy to that spot. Overall, it’s not the most interesting of songs to start the journey with but considering how convincingly dramatic it is, it’s a great way to begin any listening of UK #1s. Not only does this song commence the first ever singles chart, it’s the first Christmas #1 and for my sake, the first song on this list that I actually kind of like, meaning that yes, a good 36 of these were at least decent songs. I’m probably just being generous but even then, this really wasn’t as gruelling as it could have been.

#33 – “Earth Song” – Michael Jackson (1995)

It only comes to me now that I've pretty much never had to talk about Michael Jackson in-depth for my entire time writing this blog, and I'm not exactly starting now given that this is a series of mostly brief rundowns, and MJ only appears this once. I should say that whilst the song is somewhat enjoyable and I respect it to some degree, it is still in the awkward, self-serving call to action as John Lennon's “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” (#2, 1980). I loathe that song, but I can still appreciate the self-reflective angle that it tries to go for, which is lost by Michael Jackson in his screams to pay attention to the natural world’s suffering thanks to the sheer immensity and grandiose gospel build-up that means the song perpetually looks outwards, potentially not even forwards. This is alongside a vocal performance from MJ that to me is really hard to listen to – in fact, this whole six-minute adventure, and its powerful music video, is just... difficult to grapple with for me and the more I think about it, that might be the best way to call attention to the injustices of the world. I still can't listen to the song and enjoy it fully, but there are three things I love here that allow its higher placement: the key change, Guy Pratt’s bass in the second half and of course, the strained hook of cathartic “woo!”s at the tail-end.

#32 – “Green, Green Grass of Home” – Tom Jones (1966)

1966 feels a bit late for this kind of song but you have to remember that the charts aren’t nicely split into before and after certain artists, songs or events – trends bleed in and out all the time. Regardless of when it hit #1, it feels a bit pre-destined to. It’s a pleasant enough cover of a song that had been big in the US the year prior, and Tom Jones, impressed with Jerry Lee Lewis’ version, gave it a try. It’s more impressive that Jones is still a relatively active and recognisable figure in British pop music after all this time. I remember his most recent album even gathering some critical appraisal.

#31 – “Mr Blobby” – Mr Blobby (1993)

Sigh. I own this on vinyl.

#30 – “Goodbye” – Spice Girls (1998)

In the mid-90s, girl group phenomenon the Spice Girls had three consecutive Christmas #1s with slower, more sentimental tracks, which makes sense, and I actually have them in reverse chronological order here, because they got worse every year, though you’ll see I actually like the other two quite a lot. This one was reworked to be about Geri Halliwell leaving the group, and it sounds as exhausted as the girls were at this point, this is a great soundtrack to running out of steam. Oh, and ladies and gentlemen, here’s Conway Twitty:

#29 – “It’s Only Make Believe” – Conway Twitty (1958)

This was then-unknown Conway Twitty’s first real hit, and though not really a country song, more of a slowed-down rock ballad with some doo-wop to it, I get why he crossed over and I also kind of get this one. Late in his life, my dad had a thing for old, sad country songs and this hits what I imagine is the spot those tracks hit for him, it’s alright.

#28 – “I Have a Dream” / “Seasons in the Sun” – Westlife (1999)

Irish boy band Westlife are an act I almost expected to show up more than once here, so it’s just my luck in predictions that they actually do have two songs but only show up once. These two songs are quite syrupy renditions of older tracks with real cheap synth affects, especially in the first song, but are actually inoffensive and have a little 90s cheese charm to them. The synths in their version of ABBA’s “I Have a Dream” (#2, 1979) aren’t too far from Mario Kart 64 and coincidentally, my dad really loved “Seasons in the Sun”, originally a #1 hit for Terry Jacks in 1973. I know that it’s often considered a historically bad pop song, but I’ve always thought the structure was pretty sweet and this Westlife version is particularly funny because when they sing “it’s hard to die”, a funny echo effect means you hear “die…” fade out for the rest of the measure, which like “Stay Another Day”, is an oddly morbid moment for this boy band schlock.

#27 / #26 – “Bohemian Rhapsody” – Queen (1975, 1991)

It’s fine. Bit slow to start. Something about doing the fandango, killing a man. Freddie Mercury was really a bisexual Pooh Shiesty if you think about it. This is the only song to have the same recording hit #1 on Christmas twice though, the second, after Freddie had died, was a double A-side paired with the boring trite ballad “These Are the Days of Our Lives” which I’m sorry, is just insufferable. “Bohemian Rhapsody” is fine enough and I respect its ambition, even if overstated given what advances in music had already been made by the mid-70s, but that garbage actually takes it down further. I’m sure it was potent when the man had just passed but “Days of Our Lives” is some soppy adult contemporary bullshit compositionally, it feels as long as two Bohemian Rhapsodies, and neither are the Muppets version. Enough has been said over the years about how “Bohemian Rhapsody” stretched what could be considered a hit single, and the impact it has had on music videos, but this is not a discussion of the visual history of pop music, and I’m not one to ignore how progressive and interesting acts big as the Beatles (or the Beatles themselves, who we will get to in due time) had made pop rock long before Queen… this is a ranking of Christmas songs according to my own taste and in my opinion, this is simply a cool song tied temporarily, but integrally for this blog, to a shit one, and there are dozens of tracks that say more about either themselves, the music industry, the country that took it to #1 or the festive season as a whole.

#25 – “I Feel Fine” – The Beatles (1964)

Before the Spice Girls came the Spice Boys, the Liverpudlians who notched three consecutive Christmas #1s in the mid-60s and a fourth one afterwards, with this being our first one to cover and as you can tell, my personal least favourite. It’s difficult to say that the Beatles have any singles that aren’t iconic, let alone #1 hits, but I doubt that these singles, apart from one which we’ll discuss way later on, are in that top 10. “I Feel Fine” is compositionally fairly similar to songs I prefer from them we’ll see later, but it’s much less interesting in comparison to those thanks to being a tad undercooked. Like a lot of early Beatles, it’s a very simple song but the lack of a really impassioned vocal performance or strong enough hook to counter the chorus just leaves it sounding a tad incomplete. I do like hearing an early example of guitar feedback in pop music, though.

#24 – “Another Brick in the Wall (Part 2)” – Pink Floyd (1979)

What a great, charming Christmas single, right? “Another Brick in the Wall”? Part of why this is so low actually originates from how it fails to be a Christmas single, or really a single overall, and that it never intended to be. This is a good song, but one born from contempt for how lead lyricist Roger Waters was taught as a child and his experience with the education system, featuring a school choir that would ironically not be the same choir hitting #1 on Christmas the year after. Even elements of its murky sound are born from guitarist David Gilmour's contempt for disco but ultimately open-minded attempt for them to embody elements of it into their sound thanks to their producer Bob Ezrin. It feels really weird to place this high on a list when the idea of it hitting #1 at Christmas isn't just not part of the appeal and the story, but directly opposed to both and not in such a radical way that it acts as protest - it's still a disco song with a children's choir by one of the biggest rock bands on Earth. Speaking of, i'm also torn on the song itself – that guitar solo is incredible but as an edited-down “part two” single, it's incomplete by design, and doesn't function as a standalone piece as well as it should. Also, God, I hate children’s choir.

#23 – “Mr Blobby” – Mr Blobby (1993)

We don’t need no Blobbyvision. We don’t need no Blob control.

#23 – “Perfect” – Ed Sheeran (2017)

Well, I do suppose this fits, it just feels a bit too modern for this list, like “Rockabye”, and not having any direct Christmas references doesn’t help. I will say that I find this a perfectly sweet, charming song in its original form and it’s largely bogged down on this list because of versions that weren’t officially credited by the Official Charts Company that week but definitely contributed to the song’s success, those being the overblown duets with Beyoncé and Andrea Bocelli.

#22 – “I Will Always Love You” – Whitney Houston (1992)

Many Christmas #1s that aren’t explicitly related to the holiday season still have the air of December surrounding them in some way, whether it be slight musical details like in “Stay Another Day”, a wintry music video and cover art like “Perfect”, or even just the novelty factor of it ever hitting #1 like “Another Brick in the Wall”, “Mad World”, “Let’s Have Another Party” and many others we’ve seen and will see later. “I Will Always Love You”, however, was a US-born phenomenon, where this trophy barely matters, and the massive, all-encompassing belt of a song is predestined to be huge. I’m not too big on what is a generally good song because I have to be in the mood for it but it obviously works and never needed any holiday sentiment or novelty factor. Like “Earth Song” which, to be fair, even MJ had to consciously pull on heartstrings to get himself to the top, this is just too big to ignore and unlike “Earth Song”, it’s a listenable length.

#21 – “Return to Sender” – Elvis Presley (1962)

Looking at this list chronologically, this is just about where the idea of what we now see as modern pop and rock music emerges, primarily because of Elvis himself, who found this song a diamond in the rough for his comeback film Girls! Girls! Girls!, the other material for which he found quite dull to record. Despite having nothing to do with Christmas at all, the horns and jaunty rhythm definitely sound like it, and it’s great to hear such a youthful Elvis performance, but other than that, it is pretty simple and non-descript. The first Christmas #1 on the Irish charts, given the theme of returning love letters, you could even see this as a predecessor to a certain other Christmas song much later down the line.

#20 – “Merry Christmas Everyone” – Shakin’ Stevens (1985)

Sure, this is schmaltz, but undeniable schmaltz, and nostalgia may blind me here but I can’t imagine disliking this song for any reason other than it being a tad too long given it’s aping 50s and 60s rock and roll that wouldn’t let it drag on further than it does. Otherwise, sure, it’s a list of clichés, but it’s delivered with such a childlike grin I can’t help but admit Shakin’ Stevens has me on this one. I know, I know, higher than the Beatles.

#19 – “Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West)” – Benny Hill (1971)

I know, I know, the takes keep getting worse. Listen, this won an Ivor Novello Award for songwriting, I’m not joking. Prominent comedian Benny Hill released this ribald novelty single to great success in 1971, and yes, there are more sex jokes than a 2000s teen comedy, but it goes to such weird and uncomfortable places with its food-related innuendo that you have to admire how committed Hill is to the bit. The instrumental’s chugging military percussion, string swell and choral refrain also let the stakes get bizarrely high, to the point where Ernie is murdered in a duel with a bread delivery man, and his ghost haunts his wife. The bridge wherein the song basically just comes to a drumless halt, and Hill fills in that void by delivering possibly the worst obituary ever spoken, always gets me, in part because of how stupid the name Ernie is. The first line in the bridge is “Ernie was only 52, he didn’t want to die” and the next line about him delivering milk in Heaven just barely doesn’t make Hill crack up trying to deliver it. Its style and structure is a send-up of old cowboy-story songs from the 50s and 60s, particularly ones with stories of death and consisting largely of spoken-word sections; it immediately reminded me of John Leyton’s death disc “Johnny Remember Me”, similarly about a haunting, that hit #1 in 1961. That is one of my personal favourites #1s ever, so it should be of no surprise that this, despite its content, won me over.

#18 – “Merry Xmas Everybody” – Slade (1973)

For all intents and purposes, this is the Christmas #1. It kickstarted the competitive release of Christmas songs by pop acts, it’s the third song chronologically on this list to be actually about Christmas and the first in over a decade, and even then, it references the “old songs” being the best, defining how this list is constantly looking backwards, much like Britain as a whole. It’s also funny that despite that reference, this is absolutely the first song on this list to remain as part of the semi-official Christmas canon that returns to the chart annually. Overthinking this staple of a song seems borderline blasphemous, even if it’s so basic and laddish that it can be a bit of a slog, but glam rock band Slade’s lead vocalist Noddy Holder screaming in declaration that it’s “CHRIIIIISSTMAAAAASS” may be synonymous with the British holiday experience, or at least once was. The trend of Christmas songs returning to the chart each year started with this song being reissued in the 1980s, which makes sense considering how big parts of this song sound, particularly that 60s rock and roll guitar (very back in style in that decade), and the layered group vocal of the chorus. It’s stupid, it’s worse than its closest competitor from Wizzard that year, “I Wish it Could Be Christmas Everyday” (#4, 1973-4), but it’s still such an inescapable classic to this day. It may be the first and last Christmas song I’ve ever heard and will hear, it really is that embedded into UK culture. Thankfully, though, we’re able to keep it relatively short with the next few entries.

#17 – “Can We Fix It?” – Bob the Builder (2000)

I may prefer Bob’s construction-themed re-write of “Mambo No. 5” (the 9/11 #1 – I’m not joking), but novelty aside, the 2-step rhythm helps this stand out. This clears the fucking Tweenies, those creepy Teletubbies and especially that narc bitch Fireman Sam.

#16 – “I Hear You Knocking” – Dave Edmunds (1970)

Originally recorded in Smiley Lewis in 1955, “I Hear You Knocking” makes absolutely zero sense as a Christmas single, in fact “I hear you knocking but you can’t come in” may be the antithesis of nice, warm family time. The conclusion of a long trend of blues songs using similar language, this bitter track was reinterpreted into a borderline experimental blues rock jam by Welshman Dave Edmunds after finding out that the song he wanted to cover was already taken. He heard Lewis’ recording, realised the backing beat was identical, and recorded this distorted, nasal slice of vengeance over it, with mechanical, scraping drums – especially in the right channel for whatever reason – and a layering of droopy guitars that strip the song back considerably but add a unique character through Edmunds, who sounds pridefully pissed off, but still takes time in the break to ad-lib some of his favourite rock & roll pioneers and R&B stars of the 50s, all the way back in the mix too. As a whole piece, it’s really simple and casual as a blues stomper but not only is that refrain insanely catchy, but combine it with that overly loud crashing cymbal splitting the mix, Edmunds’ whooping and “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed”-sounding guitars and it goes relentlessly hard. A fantastic song, one that John Lennon famously insisted on in interviews, including the last one he ever did, but perhaps not a merry jingle and more of a pub pleaser.

#15 – “Sound of the Underground” – Girls Aloud (2002)

This has been talked to death already like many other songs here, but there really is a loveable appeal to “Sound of the Underground”, combing that slick surf guitar with a drum and bass rumble to make something that popular music was immediately familiar with, but the manufactured pop music regime that pumped out boy band and girl group hits would have otherwise passed on immediately if it weren’t just that sticky of a hook. Technically, however, this would be the first instance of reality television plaguing the Christmas chart, as the top three that year, including Girls Aloud, was dominated by Popstars contestants – at least in this case the song was great, but for the purpose of this particular list, an awkward legacy to hold.

#14 – “Just Walkin’ in the Rain” – Johnnie Ray (1956)

This loveably nonchalant song was first written in 1952 by two prisoners in Tennessee, with rock and roll precursor and 50s teen sensation Johnnie Ray performing its best-known rendition. Apparently, he didn’t even like the song, but you’d never know, and this has everything I love about traditional pop and R&B: a gimmicky lead hook with the fuzzy whistling, a basic but sticky refrain, a melodrama leading to dangerous levels of oversinging that clips and distorts slightly in the mix. If it were less of a moaner lyrically, it could probably be higher, but he really sells the despair of being a prisoner and how society treats those who have broken the law, even for petty crimes. The group doo-wop backing vocals act as looming over Ray in a really melancholy track, I do recommend checking this out because it may be the least famous of the Christmas #1s overall, and deserves a lot more attention.

#13 – “Mr Blobby” – Mr Blobby (1993)

OCC’s playlist of Christmas #1s is not perfect by any means but it does contain, in some capacity, every single entry to hit #1 on Christmas, except for two. The first is the 1989 re-recording of “Do They Know it’s Christmas?”, though two other versions of the song are included for the original and 2000s revival, so the song is still very much there. The second, and the only song completely, thoroughly excluded, entirely non-present, is this one. “Mr Blobby” by Mr Blobby. OCC makes no reference to this exclusion on Spotify, stating that it contains all the winners from 1952 to now, except it just doesn’t. The official page for the Christmas #1 on the Official Charts Company website does not mention the Blobster in its text and silently, probably hesitantly includes him in the list table for historical purposes, without noting that their “complete” playlist of “every” number-one denies our Blobby boy his rightful position as a chart record-holder. What may hurt the most is that there is one tacit acknowledgement of Blobby in that article: OCC mentions that “cartoon characters”, plural, have held the top spot, meaning that they either acknowledge Blobby as a cartoon alongside Bob, which is a fair enough assessment considering his design and animated appearances, or they’re referring to a Claymation music video we’ll discuss later on, which would be… potentially accurate but bizarrely insensitive, much like the exclusion of Blobberson from a conversation he statistically and historically deserves a place in. You deny the Blob of his divine right, you run the risk of execution, and we wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to the poor OCC interns, would we? So, I propose that when you update the page this year, to include 2024’s Christmas #1, you simply add a short passage acknowledging that not only did Mr Blobby achieve this feat but that as a company and national institution, you have been ignorant of if not actively opposed to this chart success, therefore refusing to celebrate the peak of Blobbymania. Surveys show that 80% of the British public still identify as Blobby fans and what do you mean I need to shut up and talk about the Spice Girls?

#13 – “Too Much” – Spice Girls (1997)

I do really enjoy many parts of this song, and would probably call it a great track, but there are parts that really hamper it from being perfect. The track is about equal treatment in a relationship, wherein it’d be too hard to let go completely but still needing their partner to be a better partner overall, not just a satisfactory lover and a genuine friend whom she can console in. I love that independent sentiment of demanding more from this guy, and the powerful line of “What part of no don’t you understand? I want a man, not a boy who thinks he can”, delivered by Mel C, belted right after the second chorus amidst a blast of horns, before fading (quite literally) into the brief sax solo, and returning with the same lyric to lead into the final hook, is a great moment! Hell, the song may be one of the best examples of their form of “girl power”, looking for small victories in a patriarchal world, but that moment in the bridge I just mentioned is also emblematic of a larger problem I have with the song, being that it was recorded hastily between filming their tie-in movie Spiceworld and therefore so much of it was tied together in post-production. Given how empty the verses feel, how the song just trails off and the lack of truly impressive solo parts other than the one I just mentioned, you can really tell – it’s still a great track, but one that deserved more time and a better process to elevate it even higher.

#12 – “Christmas Alphabet” – Dickie Valentine (1955)

This is a strange one, and also a relatively simple one, but I may have found a hidden gem with this one. The first Christmas #1 to actually be about Christmas, it’s so lovingly sincere in its attempt to make an acrostic children’s poem with the word “Christmas”, and to hear the choir singing not just every letter but at some point even specifying “Capital C” is really delightful. It sounds built for a stop-motion special, the intro particularly, but largely predates them, whilst still wrapping up its twinkly two minutes in a lovingly warm bow. Thank God Michael Bublé hasn’t found this one yet because Valentine’s version may not be the most impressive vocal or extensive composition but is simply a nice, pleasant tune that goes into adorable territory with the whole “Christmas Alphabet” gimmick. The dumb smile on my face is worth all the places I put it over genuine classics. How does this not return every year?

#11 – “Day Tripper” / “We Can Work it Out” – The Beatles (1965)

We have our final double A-side and second Beatles entry, with the next few coming really soon. I do like both of these songs a lot, but given how much analysis of the Beatles there is, for every angle of their discography, I’ll keep it brief, and none of these are or could even attempt to function as Christmas songs. The band promoted this single using performance videos, influencing the modern concept of music videos which would later become very important for several Christmas #1s long after, like “Bohemian Rhapsody”, “Earth Song” and another we’ll see right near the end. It’s a really effective double A-side too, as they are simple, soul-influencd rock tunes that play with their constant intensity in different ways. “Day Tripper” has a raw group vocal but a tight, one-chord riff and apparently, this particular version was chosen because it was the one take that didn’t break down entirely. “We Can Work it Out”, far from the drug-influenced lyrics of its counterpart, and probably my favourite of the two, is a personal song about an ongoing breakup of a close relationship, with a much gentler acoustic, jangly folk stroll as McCartney carols on optimistically that the relationship can be salvaged, with the desperate chorus repeating that title as a mantra until it quite frankly devolves into Lennon’s deathly waltz contemplating on mortality that itself derails with Ringo’s drum crashes before picking back up again. The intensity is instead spread out into the song’s enemy-of-momentum, stop-and-start structure in contrast to “Day Tripper” but both paint an image of guys drifting away from compassion and desperately wanting their perspective known and prioritised. Not my all-time favourites from them, well, “We Can Work it Out” might be close, but still great songs and possibly the best use of the double A-side on this list.

#10 – “Hello, Goodbye” – The Beatles (1967)

Straight into more Beatles, and despite being much later into their career, fully in their more complex and progressive, psychedelic years, it refuses to venture outside of its traditional pop qualities, in a demonstration of refrain to experiment that you wouldn’t get from the Beatles this late usually. To be fair, its B-side is “I Am the Walrus”, so perhaps a more conventional track was needed, yet in its constant repetition of the confused duality, becomes quite experimental as it has to rely on flooding the mix with instruments that carry and more often distract from the guys’ hurried abstractism, whether that be the array of strings, stray guitar slide or the rising guitar progression in the right channel – I wouldn’t be surprised if “Telephone Line” by the Electric Light Orchestra (#8, 1977) cribbed that from this, the two sound very similar, and it’s even more obvious when the Beatles have a layered harmony vocal to that guitar’s melody. Ringo has one of his more impressively chaotic drum parts on this during what I can only describe as a breakdown alongside a rawer, barely-verbal vocal rant, and the song in its very last moments decides to implode into a scattered military band rhythm with ad-libbing in abundance, which I’m disappointed fades out. Derivative it may be, and lyrically, it’s practically nothing, but it does act as a good send-off for the Beatles’ final Christmas #1 together as it has the simple and basic idea of their older tracks, but the complex, surreal approach to building off of it as their later albums. “Hello, Goodbye”, in all its whimsy, is like one of those older compositions through the dizzying lens of psychedelia, eventually becoming a cacophony that only the Beatles could really take to the top of the charts.

#9 – “Lily the Pink” – The Scaffold (1968)

There are three picks in this top 10 that would probably strike you as a bit odd, or even goofy novelty choices, and I’m not really going to sit here and defend them as anything else… okay, well, I will later on, but this one is definitely pure novelty and I have no real idea why this music hall pub sing-a-long resonated with me nearly as much as it did. The Scaffold was a silly Liverpool comedy troupe of entertainers, one of which, Mike McGear, was Paul McCartney’s brother, who released a few novelty singles, this being their most successful. I did listen to another, and it actually caught me so off-guard and made me laugh really loud when they interrupted their bizarre “Thank U Very Much” (#4, 1968) by abruptly bursting into singing the national anthem. Otherwise, I had never heard of The Scaffold before this list, and I’d never heard of this song or its subject, Lydia Pinkham, who in the 1800s marketed a herbal remedy for menstruation and menopause called “women’s tonic”, which sought to cure “hysteria” and “women’s weakness”. Mostly dismissed by medical experts, her “vegetable compound” did relieve stress even if not provably curing anything, and stayed on the market due to frivolous advertising and filling a void in the market for women who were struggling with periods and the menopause, with the adverts even claiming that the remedy made them better wives and mothers.

“Lily the Pink”, a variation of an American folk song, takes this to ridiculous proportions, with the Scaffold lads listing, over a percussive, military-esque rhythm, ludicrous responses to mundane problems that are all traced back to Lily the Pink’s medicinal compound. A song gaining this much cultural space in the UK is interesting to me, as it’s a North American folk song that probably reached Brits through the army, as it was reportedly sung on Pennsylvania universities as early as 1902, and brought to prisoner-of-war camps by Canadian soldiers. Nearly a full century after Pinkham first established her remedy in response to economic ruin, The Scaffold fuse the melody with then-topical pop culture reference (now flying right past me, though they do reference the Hollies – weird band to come up twice) and a uniquely British humour. If you have large ears, you drink the compound and you can fly, which doesn’t solve your problem, just makes you Dumbo. Similarly, the compound puts a guy who wouldn’t eat his meals in a wheelchair, strengthens the delusions of a senile Ebenezer, turned a stammerer mute, gave an old woman with arthritis just… more legs, and performed what I can only describe as instant hormone therapy to a girl with freckles. It’s such a dumb joke but it allows for enough absurdity alongside the drinking song chorus that it really chuckled me, I like thinking of all these case studies they bring up that clearly contrast with the falsified advertisements they sing about in the hook, declaring Pinkham “the saviour of the human race”. Much like “Ernie” after it, this also has a sudden switch in the bridge to a more barebones, piano backing as Lily the Pink, in regret for making bizarre inhuman creations out of mundane, everyday problems like Auntie Milly-Pede and Old Ebenezer, Emperor of Rome, drinks herself to death. It took me aback in the first listen when they go for a bizarre choral switch and even outline that when she got to Heaven, she brought her bloody compound with her, and after an exhaustingly-held build-up, we crash right back into the chorus because the angels in Heaven have problems her remedy can supposedly solve too. It strays away from the ribald or offensive nature of the military songs into a sanitised but delightfully surreal and jaunty bop that I know is a bizarre song to place this high, but it’s basically a cartoon in song form so me personally ranking it highly should not be a surprise.

#8 – “Don’t You Want Me” – The Human League (1981)

This and the next song are obviously classics, ranking highly thanks to being undeniable songs, but they also don’t need much further explanation, and feel almost like obvious picks. “Don’t You Want Me” by Sheffield synthpop act The Human League has one of the greatest choruses ever written, plainly, and a dominating synth buzz to accommodate it. It didn’t need anything else to go #1 but the deadpan delivery of the back-and-forth narrative in the verses, with both vocalists not particularly impressing anyone, and so much of the song being in a staccato rhythm you could basically speak outside of the most integral parts (namely, the “oh-oh-oh-oh”), makes it a prime karaoke classic that has sustained itself through the test of time. This is all in spite of frontman Philip Oakey thinking the song was a piece of filler that fans would be ripped off if they bought it unless it was attached with a cool poster. He was so tremendously wrong about that but the man put out “Together in Electric Dreams” with Giorgio Moroder (#3, 1984) so he can say whatever he wants.

#7 – “I Want to Hold Your Hand” – The Beatles (1963)

…Obviously, right? One of my personal favourite Beatles songs, there’s something irresistible about the jovial riffs and innocuous pleading of wanting to hold this girl’s hand, delivering that proposition as if it were the most consequential decision of their entire lives. There’s not much else to say, it’s pure bubblegum, but it’s damn good and definitely a classic.

#6 – “2 Become 1” – Spice Girls (1996)

I know, I know, I know how bad this looks. This over every Beatles song, and I’d love to tell you that it was close and despite how “I Want to Hold Your Hand” is very much one of my favourite #1s of all time… it really wasn’t close, I adore “2 Become 1”. I am a sucker for 90s adult contemporary, and this is fully in Babyface territory, so that could be why, but mostly I just think this one of the smoothest sex jams that has hit the charts, and like a lot of the best sex songs, ends up being about much more. Namely, this song has some wider depths to it, especially in the context of it being a Christmas song, as a general call for togetherness. Sure, the chorus is about making love, but it ends by asking you to set your spirit free, after verses begging you to free your mind of doubt, allowing yourself to become one with someone in a more spiritual way that I find intriguing as something they included. It doesn’t make the song more wholesome, necessarily, but it does take the sexual angle and expands it into a more constant connection that really speaks to me. “It’s the only way to be” – the song sees human collaboration, love and togetherness as some kind of ultimate goal and accomplishment that I find genuinely compelling.

Of course, that’s not the main purpose of the song, and it’s not to green-screen yourself into a New York timelapse either, it’s a gorgeous R&B song with every trademark of the genre in this era: the delicate percs in the drum loops, the constant underlying strings that swell in blissfully at the needed moments, stray Latin-flavoured guitar, and a mix that uses all available space, especially with layered vocal harmonies and riffing. One of the first songs to come from the girls, you can tell that the vocals are limited but, especially in the intimate verses, that’s for the best as you can hear the charm of these five young women coming into pop music with all the energy they did, even in what would otherwise be a laidback smooth jam. I particularly love the pre-chorus, where Baby Spice – sorry, Emma Bunton – tempts their partner but in a fun-loving way, like stop dilly-dallying, be smart, put a condom on and come closer. She even asks the mocking question of “Are you as good as I remember?”, but aside from Bunton and their general chemistry as a group, the other stars are Mel B, repeating that spiritual mantra through to the song’s end and Victoria Beckham, handling the first half of both verses with a cute, intimate delivery that fits like a glove on this cascading glade of an instrumental. Perhaps not explicitly a Christmas song but one that fits its ethos in part and absolutely, through all its glistens and twinkles, fits the sound.

#5 – “Only You” – The Flying Pickets (1983)

Bit of a weird one, and one I’m not 100% about putting this high, partly because Margaret Thatcher loved it, showing that music can bring us together, I suppose, but that doesn’t mean she’s not in Hell, just that her playlist wasn’t all trash. I do like the original version by Yazoo, which is decidedly similar and the song feels built for a male vocalist given how it was written by Vince Clarke and originally sang by the deep, bluesy Alison Moyet. The cute, synthy and simple track is full of bleep-bloops and a nuanced set of lyrics interpreted to be about Clarke’s split from Depeche Mode but out of context, are more like a half-whispered request for a lover to always be with them in spite of the distance they’ve had to hold and will have to if the recipient of the song isn’t as dedicated, which makes enough sense for a primitive synthpop already reliant on the powerful vocal, but would make even more sense if every part of the song was just a bloke.

Yazoo’s version was simply released too late (or too early?) to be a Christmas #1, peaking at #2 in May of 1982, but a cappella group The Flying Pickets took the mantle of releasing what is already a nostalgic song with plenty of twinkling instrumentation into its deserved spot of the holiday chart-topper. Further layers of vocal harmony are added to make this a really unique single of the 1980s, one that plays with the complexities of layering vocal take upon vocal take to simulate a song structurally, with each “bah” of the main backing arranged not only in perfect, intricate order but spread across all channels to make an immersive mix that, for 1983, strikes me as genuinely impressive, and it really doesn’t sound like a miraculous take either given all th affects like the intrusive sci-fi synth-bloops that commences the song after a faded rise into phased harmony. The first a cappella song to hit #1 ever, it’s an unusual one at that, feeling like a haunting church choir but also like it could have soundtracked Yoshi’s Island for the SNES. The devotion of the lyrics becomes a lot more tangible when the lead vocal is struggling to stand out amidst a sea of other voices he occasionally phases into, and that 80s production turns a cappella versions into something borderline surreal with the new “ba-da-da” refrains similarly skating across the mix hitting against a choral wave and powered by a finger-snap with so much echo that it flutters as a snip rather than a snip, gathering about as much strength as a fly against a window or a piece of paper thrown away. The sheer amount of vocals, presumably pitch-shifted in the rising bridge, is stressful, it’s more effective than the more mechanical synth production of the Yazoo version at making you feel just how intense this long-distance relationship has proven to be, but also how intense the vocalist’s personal love is in spite of it, travelling across a never-ending hallway of ghostly vocal channels. Much like “Lily the Pink”, I definitely did not come into this project looking to rank this one very high, but I think this is beautiful and, whilst most songs in this top five emerge from the same decade, it still deserves its spot here.

#4 – “Last Christmas” – Wham! (2023)

No, that’s not a typo. The Wham! classic only reached #1 last year, this being the #2 I teased from back at the start as I was discussing Band Aid. This is also the highest-ranking Christmas song on the list! Much like “Another Brick in the Wall” or “I Want to Hold Your Hand”, I won’t waste your time discussing the ins and outs of what may be one of the most famous and recognisable songs ever written and released, but I do have a unique angle here at least, because despite being about Christmas, explicitly, and having Christmas in the title and lyrics constantly, with gift-giving as a prominent conceit, I struggle to say “Last Christmas” embodies the warmth of Christmas. In fact, part of why I think it has become so popular in its resurgence post-George Michael’s passing, especially in the US where it wasn’t that big initially, is because of how cold and angry it can be, the kind of Christmas song that isn’t saccharine and ages well once the childlike joy of the festivity is gone.

Rather than anything all too jolly, “Last Christmas” is a scathing indictment of an ex-lover as not valuable and a waste of time. We may be forgetting when we sentimentalise this song that it is one of the bitterest post-breakup piss-offs in pop music history: “I wasted my time and effort with you, but now I see you don’t value me, so next year, I’ll run off and give my love to someone who’s actually worth any of my time”. The verses mostly describe, passive-aggressively, George Michael trying to avoid an ex-lover, and given he is the sole writer and producer of the song, you can tell this was cathartic for him, it really couldn’t have been anyone other than him selling this song. Sure, the 80s synthpop textures would have had a similar balance between the cold wintry outside and the gathering-around-the-fireplace warmth, especially with the sleigh bells, but the delivery of the lyrics may be the most integral part of this song: genuinely every single inflection in the verses is perfect. The switch between drawing out the notes of “Once bitten and twice shy” versus the staccato delivery of “You still catch my eye”, the whispered “Happy Christmas” in the first verse building up into a half-belt, the comical aside of “it’s been a year, it doesn’t surprise me”. He finds a new way to emphasise the drama and betrayal of “You gave it away!” in the backing vocals each chorus, the layering of the vocals in the second verse getting so intense that its residue crosses over into where the next line would be, making it so that him finding a new love actually comes with the literal passage of time, it’s brilliant. The change of “You gave it away” in one of the final choruses to “You gave me away” is what takes it over that last hump: it’s not about Christmas, it’s about humans valuing each others’ time and effort, and the pain, even in this decorative synthpop sound, is audible. The attention to detail with the vocals following the narrative is really something that I had to notice after years of listening to the song and it clicked with me why and how it worked all these years without getting old: it’s really a universal feeling of wanting to be cared about that can never disappear once the naïve wonders of the holiday do. If there’s a sentiment that always follows Christmas, regardless of age, it’s the knowledge that people, in spite of everything, do love you. Both that sentiment of unconditional love and attention to detail, as well as nearly everything else considering it’s another 80s pop duo, carries on into our next song, the highest song on this list to have reached #1 in its year of release.

#3 – “Always on My Mind” – Pet Shop Boys (1987)

My favourite Pet Shop Boys song is “Suburbia”, but this is a close second, and it may take a while to explain why. This song originates from Wayne Carson, who had the song in writing development Hell for a good amount of time, with the three exhausted songwriters eventually all finishing it but initially, to no success. Carson has said to the Los Angeles Times that he was a burden in the recording studio constantly working on it, with the song’s main conceit being: “It’s sort of like all guys who screw up and would love nothing better than to pick up the phone and call their wives and say, 'Listen, honey, I could have done better, but I want you to know that you were always on my mind.'” Originally a country ballad, the song’s backstory is from when Carson had to phone his wife that he needed to be in Memphis for longer than he was intending to, and how “irate” she was about that, and there’s something really heartbreaking about the distance there: Carson gives this excuse that is intended to reassure her – “I was thinking about you all the time” – when it’s his presence that actually matters. He can phone in and say that all he likes, but he’s still not there and since he’s so far away from her, he can’t exactly understand how much that matters and how meaningless of a statement that is. In 1972, the song would eventually find its hit-making vocalist in Elvis Presley (#9, 1973), and then this cover version has a perfect storm leading up to it.

Elvis’ version never hit #1 in the UK but, thanks I’m sure in part to the Pet Shop Boys’ version, it is Britain’s favourite song of his, according to ITV’s 2013 poll. The admiration for this song runs deep, partly because it’s simply been performed incredibly well three separate times by big-name artists and I would like to say partly because of how each performance exacerbates the labour that was involved in making the song. Willie Nelson won a GRAMMY with his version (#49, 1982) and deservedly so, his version is probably my favourite of the sentimental country versions, and was produced by Chips Moman himself, who owned the studio Carson was staying at a decade earlier trying to finish the song. In 1987, ITV commemorated 10 years since Elvis had died with a television special featuring covers of songs he made famous by then-contemporary acts, with one of those being the Pet Shop Boys – the reception was so positive that it was released as a single and edged out The Pogues’ “Fairytale of New York” (#2, 1987-8) for the top spot. If that did hit #1, it would be right above this one, by the way, look at that Christmas top 10 if you get the chance, it is unbelievably stacked.

This new hi-NRG version from the Boys is my favourite, and that comes mostly from the loose interpretation of it as a synth-heavy dance track that chugs along with the beeping drum rhythm and overwhelming synth horns that crash into the mix. To do electronic sound design this immersive and detailed before widely available DAWs, again, strikes me as genuinely impressive, and Neil Tennant turns the guilty admissions of Carson, Elvis and Nelson before him into flailing desperacy – he longs to reassure that he was always thinking about his partner that he could have treated the way they deserved, but the driving synthpop backing beat is actively taking him away, driving him off in a car that eventually fades out alongside the entire mix, accentuating just how likely that sentiment is to be caught on deaf ears. It’s a risky choice to update the song this drastically but it elevates it to such a grand electronic statement of unmet promises and may be the best send-off to the big 80s sound on that ethos alone. This is not really a Christmas song in any way, and no, neither are the two upcoming songs, which I say despite the first one being quite literally the year before.

#2 – “Reet Petite” – Jackie Wilson (1986)

Jackie Wilson was a wild guy. He was an ex-boxer by his teenage years, first married at 17, had a shit-ton of kids, got shot in the stomach by a crazed fan and/or ex-girlfriend depending on whose story you believe, and evaded more taxes than Jimmy Carr. His performances were a frenzied workout sesh that in the 1960s, probably felt like you were watching time speed up in front of you, he was truly one of the first to live the stereotypical “rockstar” lifestyle. He was the nightcore version of himself, and by Christmas 1986, he had been dead for two years, having long been incapacitated since he collapsed on stage in 1975. So how’d it go #1 in that year’s Christmas season?

Firstly, it’s timeless, and Wilson’s role in popular music is probably a lot more important than is given credit. Not only was he a genuine menace on and off stage in a way the tabloids post-Beatles would have a field day with, but this song funded one of the most important moments in popular music: the Motown moment. Originally released in 1957, you can accredit some of (also an ex-boxer) Berry Gordy’s cash and cred to him co-writing this song, and many others of Wilson’s catalogue, back when he started in the industry. Sure, there would be songs more seminal and integral to the Motown story, but this was the first ever successful single Gordy wrote: it kickstarted the venture that would lead to some of the most important pop, R&B and soul releases in the history of pop music, and soundtracked the civil rights era, allowing for further integration of black art into the industry and popular zeitgeist. I’m not saying Jackie Wilson started all that, or that this silly song about a girl is why Michael Jackson exists, but I really think we should give “Reet Petite” its flowers for that, and also maybe the fact that it’s a massive banger! At less than three minutes, it wastes no time with its lovestruck nonsense lyrics closer to jazz scatting and sound effects than what Motown would eventually be known for, as well as the dynamics of this racket of a song. 1957? I would have a Goddamn heart attack if I was a record executive hearing this in 1957, with those blaring horn stabs and pointless doo-wop harmonies that seem to be there to bring the chaos down to earth but actually just make it more of a cacophony. He rolls his R’s like he’s the Eisenhower-era Desiigner (could be related for all we know, he got around), and his performance is not crazed as much as it’s just infatuated, full of hooks and gut reactions to seeing what must have been the cutest girl of all time if it made him sing like this. Oh, and it hit #1 in 1986. Let’s explain that one.

So BBC Two had a documentary series called Arena – still has, apparently – but I’m not familiar with it outside of the fact that it had a sequence by Giblets that featured this song. It must have been a weird tone shift because high-art documentaries seem to be that show’s bread and butter, and this was a grotesque Claymation music video for a dusty, greased-up wolf-with-eyes-bulging-out-of-his-head tune by a dead guy from 1957. It ends up portraying the guy as a baby, going completely weak and head over heels for said finest girl you ever want to meet, and yeah, exemplifies the song’s character perfectly. The single got reissued posthumously and it hit #1 because this was basically a viral, fan-made animated music video in 1986, that is insane. The amount of tiny little influential and ahead of its time details that exist about this song, its story, its rise to #1, should be something of legend but I don’t see it discussed nearly enough. I want to change that.

So that was a long ramble. It’s not as long a ramble as I’m going to grant the #1, because it should be obvious. There’s been some trash heaps here – culturally degrading charity singles, manufactured trite, songs that just don’t work for me personally – but also some absolute all-timers, from iconic songs reigning as classics that I don’t fully get the appeal of to some of the most influential and undeniable records ever written and released. And Hell, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, you can have tons of disagreements with my list placing, and I fully expect that, music is wonderful like that. I don’t think there’ll be anyone who does not understand where I’m coming from with this one, though. Say it with me: Motherfucker.

#1 – “Killing in the Name” – Rage Against the Machine (2009)

Everyone knows the story by now, right? It’s almost cliché. Jon Morter, who is a genuinely interesting anti-corporate campaigner, was sick of those X Factor tracks hitting #1, and so was his wife – LadBaby, eat your heart out – so the couple made a Facebook page campaigning for another, less politically correct, less radio-friendly track to hit #1. So we sent one of the greatest middle fingers to authority and police brutality of all time to #1 years after it first peaked at #25 in 1993. Even better, Simon Cowell himself disproved of the campaign… and it gathered even more support as a result. Rock legends got behind them, it gathered more support. Rage go on BBC Radio to perform the track, Zack de la Rocha says “fuck” damn near 20 times, it gathers even more support. It eventually sold 500,000 downloads, with thousands of proceeds from the campaign going to homeless shelters. But I bet you don’t hear Tom Morello and Jon Morter doing soft-ball interviews bragging about their achievements on the radio, desperately keeping the charity in their mouths so it doesn’t seem like they’re gleefully parading in the fame. They let the moment happen, and it was a kickass moment. Why didn’t we send rap metal to the top every year? “Sabotage” (#19, 1994) the next year, “Break Stuff” the year after, it would have been special, guys. I’m just saying.

Ultimately, I don’t have to explain “Killing in the Name” to you – you’ve probably heard it, and you haven’t, just listen to it and you’ll get why it’s up here. You may think it’s silly, immature or even cynical to put a song that spits in the face of what a Christmas #1 has evolved to mean at the top of this list. Understand, however, that if anything, that’s what makes it so great: strip away your connotations of what a Christmas #1 should be or sound like, or Hell, what a #1 hit in general should be willing to tackle, and just focus on what it is: the song people are listening to. The song the public like the most at any given time. Isn’t it incredible that we all collectively seized control of what we earn from capitalism, we seized control of the shape an abusive web of industries takes to convince us there’s any real value to it, we seized control of the industry, to completely reject it, even if just for one week? But hey, if you’re still not convinced and think I should have put Westlife up here instead… fuck you. I won’t do what you tell me. Jedward were on the side of the people! Thanks for reading, long live Cola Boyy, and I’ll see you in the next episode!

…

…

…

Just kidding.

#1 – “Mr Blobby” – Mr Blobby (1993)

Blobby supremacy, everyone! One nation under Blobby. Praise Blob. Glory to our gracious Blob. Blob Save the King… who is also Blobby. Merry Christmas.

[decchanlover]

DAY 14 OF 14DAYSOFMHA

Anything You Want

At first I wanted to dedicate the last day to the love that I have for this series and revisit some of my favourite memories. But because everyone has something to say about the ending of the series, I decided to also dump whatever I have on my mind.

Especially with the topic of Horikoshi's treatment towards Izuku and the villains.

Because with this fandoms logic:

Killing a beloved character = omg the writer hates them!

Now, if Horikoshi killed them in cold blood without having them find their happiness/purpose/peace, then yes I would agree that this ending sucked.

But I never saw it this way.

Now this is my personal (and very biased opinion) that could be extremely wrong. But at last, BNHA ended and everyone and their mother is talking about it so, here goes nothing.

"The villains didn't get what they wanted"

Tenko/Tomura Shigaraki

"His only desire was to destroy" was it though?

Why don't we go back, to the very beginning of Tenko Shimura.

No, his first ever desire was to become a hero.

"Okay then he should have lived and become heroes with Deku"

.... First of all, I highly doubt that ANY citizen of Japan would be happy to have the guy that was so heavily involved in two deadly wars become one of their heroes. This scene conveys the message perfectly.

So no, he can't become their hero but that ... shouldn't matter anyway because Tenko was already a hero to the villains.

He fought for them, protected them, promised them a new beginning with freedom. The moment where he states his true goal, is still my favourite moment from his character. Because we know that he has been feeling lost. Who was he? Were his thoughts his own or AFO's?

The need to protect them was his. Finally for the first time he's talking straight from him heart, without AFO's influence. Tenko Shimura never wanted to destroy but to save.

Tenko Shimura didn't die being AFO's puppet . His life, his whole existence was planned by him. That's the moment he's breaking free from the AFO shackles and makes his own decision. He's a hero. AFO's desperation to mold him into a heartless super villain gets destroyed by Shigaraki himself.

So Tenko wanted to survive in order to continue being their hero. But here's the problem, the Lov didn't exist anymore. As Tenko was saying how he's the hero of the villains, said villains were either dead (Twice) dying on the battlefield (Toga) and were about to die in a few months (Dabi)

So if not for them then what would keep Tenko alive? His will was to protect them, and he did. You can't blame any of their deaths on him, from his part he did a good job being their leader. He truly cared about them.

His first wish was to be a hero, and a hero he became. Just with a twist. Instead of taking down bad guys, he protected them. He found his purpose before he died.

(Side note) Shigaraki makes his last appearance in the last page of the finale... and I loved it. I didn't get emotional just because he's there but because of what he's wearing.

It's the clothes that he had in the beginning of the series :')

But most importantly, look at his body, the hands of his dead family that AFO forced on him, aren't there anymore.

He's free. He finally found peace.

Twice

All Twice ever wanted was to belong. To have a family. Simple as that but because of who he was he truly thought that it was almost impossible to fit in. But the Lov became his family. The Lov made him feel like he belonged. You can just see how grateful he is as he's slowly dying. He thinks back to his life and states proudly that he had never been unlucky, which is obviously not true.

Twice have been anything but lucky but in his final moments he thinks that he was. Because while yes most of his life was miserable, just by meeting the Lov and have them be a part in his life, he looks back and can only think how lucky he was, to live and meet them. He found his family before he died.

(u can see a pattern here and yes you're right)

Toga Himiko

Toga wanted to be accepted as she was. To have people not judge or get disgusted by her. For someone to understand her. And she found that comfort in Ochako. The line about Togas smile means so much more than what many think.

And I know because it has been meme-ed to death that a lot of people can't take this scene seriously anymore and it is a shame!! Cuz that's what Toga always wanted to hear. Because she was targeted and ridiculed for that same smile and now for the first time there was someone that not only accepted her smile but she thought that she was beautiful, the most beautiful. So come on say it with me, she got what she wanted before she died.

She doesn't think of herself as a monster. No, she's normal and she's the cutest girl in the world!

(ps, I just realised that Twice died in the arms of the person that accepted him the most, Toga. And then Toga also died in the arms of the person that accepted her in the end the most, Ochako)

Dabi/ Toya

He wanted approval. He wanted his father's attention. But he also wanted love (all people who think dabi as a heartless monster can go now!) that boy thought his need for revenge cancelled all his desperation for love but HA NO! And I'm so glad that at the very end you can see his true self shine through. Dabi got Endeavours attention, he had him apologising for everything. He got his family together and the knowledge that Shoto, the brother that he tried to kill on multiple occasions, doesn't hate him, only asks him about his favourite food.

He. Got. What. He. Wanted. Before. He. Died.

I think Izuku, Ochako and Shoto will always live with that burden. When the whole world thinks of these guys as monsters, they can say otherwise.

The public doesn't see little Tenko in the villain Shigaraki. Only Izuku does. Only Izuku has seen a small boy getting abused by his family, and then manipulated by AFO.

The public will not find Togas smile the prettiest but most likely creepy. But Ochako thinks it's beautiful!

And the public couldn't care less about Toyas favourite food because he's just Dabi to them. But that was what Shoto only wanted to know.

Along side Izuku, Ochako, and Shoto stands us, the readers. Just like how these three know what truly these villains were, we also know because we lived through their povs. We've seen them being silly and making jokes, living life as "normally" as possible. We've seen why they ended up becoming villains. And now we have to live with their absence.

Which is why for me Spinner and Mr. Compress are the saddest part.

To question what was the point of the league of villains is like you're insulting them. The point was the happiness that they found. Their home, the place to belong.

Spinners scene is heartbreaking but personally what breaks me the most is Mr. Compress. Yes that small panel of him smiling while reading (probably) the book that Spinner wrote about the Lov. Just seeing the fondness in his smile is enough to convince me that after everything that went down, he doesn't regret it. He doesn't regret the league of villains. It was probably the happiest he'd ever felt in his life. And after 8 years not a single thing could change his mind. He was and still is, happy that he got to meet them.

But then I ask myself, what ending would fit them? A "happy ending" only sounds happy to us. And apparently for BNHA fans:

happy ending = all characters must live.

Would Tenko be happy to know that what awaits him is a life trapped in a prison without the Lov being alive? As if they would ever let him out. So what, Izuku visits to trauma dump on each other and then when it's over Izuku goes back to his happy little life being a Pro Hero, and Tenko goes back to being alone? Trapped in a room with only his thoughts and the remaining trauma? Would that even make him happy? I personally can't think of another ending that doesn't revolve Tenko being thrown in prison. I just go with what sounds more realistic. Trust me, I would LOVE to see him as a Pro Hero alongside Deku and Dynamight. But that's maybe for an alternative universe :')

Toga was (and still kinda is) the one that confused me the most. Hori just kept avoiding to show us any actual evidence of her being dead. It felt like it was building up, that it was going somewhere but at the end she's really gone. But again, same question with Tenko, would Toga be happy as a prisoner for life? I just imagine Ochako visiting her to update on her life and lift her mood, but then again, Toga would only be happy because of Ochako's happiness and not her own. It's tricky, I really really wanted her to live. But at the same time I don't know how it could have been handled.

(Alternative ending: Toga lives, she hides until Ochako becomes a Pro Hero. Then they meet and immediately fall in love and decide to run away together ❤️)

Dabi is the most complicated one. I will say that what we got from chapter 426 was pretty satisfying to me.

It's bittersweet, exactly like I expected it to be.

For Dabi to live, logistically would be impossible. He's quite literally a walking corpse. I'm assuming he died after a few months from chapter 426.

And this is where the open ending solution can be unsatisfying.

I wanna know how he died. Was he alone? Was he crying? Apologizing? Was his family with him? Maybe Shoto? And if yes, then did he apologize to him? Did he die peacefully? :')

That's why open endings can be 50/50 for me. It's nice to leave things up to the readers interpretation but sometimes you just really wanna know what exactly went down.

Alive doesn't equal to happy.

As a fan of these characters (myself included) of course you'd wish for them to stay alive because you're attached to them.

And you have a every right to feel attached to them, even if they are the "villains" of the show.

Horikoshi didn't punish them with death. He clearly cared about these characters. Otherwise he wouldn't go out of his way to humanize them.

To dedicate two volumes on them and their backstories, knowing fully well that they aren't as popular as the heroes in Japan.

Of course not all endings are satisfying. But personally to me, seeing them break their walls down and either accept love (Toga, Touya) or find their purpose (Tenko) was enough for me to smile in the end.

It's a sad smile nonetheless, but loving and cheering for the "bad guys" is always like you're playing directly with fire.

Izuku Midoriya: Do Not Be Defeated By The Rain

Don't get me wrong, Izuku deserved to have an emotional breakdown. He deserved to be comforted and be told that he isn't a murderer.

It hurts to see him move on while his heart is still heavy with pain.

He needed a hug. Someone to hold him.

But Izuku doesn't allow himself to have an emotional breakdown.

He thinks he completely deserves it.

It's almost like he thinks this:

Breakdown means your heart is complaining about something. You can't complain, that's ungrateful.

(He's still alive while someone else isn't)

You need to stay humble and live with it.

(He said he's fine while feeling slightly lonely for years)

If others are crying, you should go and comfort them.

(Katsuki, Spinner, Ochako)

But don't expect or even wish to be comforted back.

(He never did)

The choices that you made will live alongside you.

(.....)

And the only thing that you can do, is move forward and be grateful even if unhappy.

Sounds awfully familiar, right?

Better dismissed as useless than flattered as a "Great Man"

Izuku stayed true to his character until the very end.

That's Deku for you. A selfless person that will never put himself first, will never truly think of himself as important, will always question his worth and will always downgrade his value.

It's frustrating to watch, it's hard. You love that character so much, you just wanna bang your head against the wall thinking just how much more he deserves.

I don't think Horikoshi is the one that thinks Izuku doesn't deserve to have a moment for himself, it's Izuku himself who's against it.

That's why I'm so glad that even after many years, he's surrounded by the loveliest people that care and want to show him how incredible he is.

He might not want to face it, but he truly is a "Great Man" :)

At the end, you can say and feel however you want. Things could have easily been handled with more care. But this wasn't my or your story. If that's what Horikoshi wanted then I'm ok with it. The open ending leaves so much for us the fans to figure out and get creative with! I'm honestly grateful for that. Now I know for sure that this fandom won't die that easily.

I will be honest with my next topic:

Calling Horikoshi a useless writer and saying things like "put that pen down" and "maybe it's time to retire" is very disrespectful and just plain rude. I get it, you didn't like the ending. But I personally find it too harsh.

People saying that Horikoshi now sucks but used to be good, mind you, the "used to be good" literally refers to a few chapters before the finale. So in a spam of five chapters he became the worst writer possible? No. That's the ending that he had in his mind. Like it or hate it, it shouldn't cancel all of Horikoshi's work.

We all know that he has given us amazing arcs with brilliant characters and backstories. That man knows how to write, he's just not perfect. He's a good writer with flaws. You know, like any other normal human out there?

No matter what ending we'd get, it would never satisfy every single fan.

Some wanted for all the villains to stay alive while others didn't care about their survival.

Some wanted for all the main characters (especially Izuku) to get married with kids and stuff and others (like myself) hated that idea.

Hell some people still wanted Bakugou to end up dead somehow. Or for Izuku to get revenge. For Toga and Ochako to become canon. Katsuki and Izuku to become canon. Mina and Kirishima, Denki and Jirou, Izuku and Ochako... You get the point!

Everybody wanted something different. How on earth could you satisfy a fandom with so many different needs? You simply can't.

I'm not saying that I LOVED the ending. But I also don't think it's a bad ending. Is it rushed? Yes. But is it bad? It depends on who you ask. If you ask me, I wouldn't call it bad at all.

And for the love of god, stop saying that Horikoshi got sick of BNHA and wanted to end it as soon as possible. That he "hates Deku" omfg are you listening to yourselves?

First of all, even if Horikoshi really wanted to end BNHA, that doesn't mean that he hates it! His love and adoration for his series can coexist with his need to move on to something different. It's been ten whole years and I get it. If he wants to create something new I will definitely stick around to see it.

At last, people undermine how worst we could have had it. Getting the ending of a long series right is difficult .

He's still a good writer in my eyes. Not perfect but very good with interesting ideas to share. Overall I enjoyed this ride. And the more time passes the more I like this ending.

I still hope for more material tho. Maybe from team up or light novels? Perhaps any original ova or movie? (I will always beg for a fantasy movie PLEASE BONES JUST DO IT)

Either way I definitely want more from adult class 1A. Headcanons and fanon stories to fill gaps are good but come on Horikoshi 👁️👁️ don't be shy, share some facts with the class.

Saying goodbye to BNHA feels weird...

Those 3 years of being in the fandom brought me so much happiness and laughter. I will forever be grateful to Kohei Horikoshi for creating this wonderful series. Nothing will ever come this close in my heart.

[redshift-corridor]

Okay consider this me feeling prompted to just send an ask about whatever

What are some of your favourite Octopath tracks, from either game?

OKAY time to dig into this. I'm trying not to get too excessive so I'll keep it to a few thematic categories (yes there are way too many tracks I like that I don't want to cut out :,D) This will be heavily OT2-biased too - while OT1 is still my second favorite OST of all time, it lost a bit of ground in direct comparison to 2.

Character Themes

1. Agnea / Partitio

This is a case of "whichever I'm listening to atm is the better one" but overall I think Agnea has the upper hand if I take all versions of her theme into account (Song of Hope goes without saying, and I'm very partial to her pursuit theme).

2. Osvald

No one seems to like this one as much as I do :,) It's not as immediately in your face as most of the other themes and takes a bit to pick up, which is a bit of a problem with the pursuit theme (my favorite in the game by far) and short battle intro dialogue. I feel this this is the only theme where you can really hear the character development in the progression from character theme to final battle.

3. Primrose

Mainstream choice, I know, but this one stuck with me. Probably because of the immense Yuki Kajiura vibes.

Region Themes

1. Leaflands

Literally the reason why I decided to buy the soundtrack based on a 40 second sample lol. The day version is my second favorite theme overall.

2. Hinoeuma

A theme I didn't pay too much attention to until I played the game and ended up standing in the desert just to listen. The night version wins here. That flute. <3

3. Sundering Sea (Night)

Extremely underrated. Idk how much time I spent hanging out on the ocean to this theme.

4. Frostlands

Just so I have three real region themes in here, but this is one of my favorite winter/snow themes in games.

Town Themes

1. Wellgrove/Timberain (Day)

Probably my favorite game theme period. Wellgrove has kicked Tarrey Town of all things off the favorite town top spot and that's saying something. I just love that place okay. Sometimes it gets hard to listen to the rest of the soundtrack because I keep getting stuck on this one lol. (Reminds me a lot of Wild Wind too, another old favorite.)

2. Montwise/Merry Hills (Night)

I don't actually have a lot to say here, I just love this SO much.

3. Crackridge/Gravell (Day)

You know a soundtrack is fantastic when the theme that caters exactly to your tastes is only your third favorite.

4. Flamesgrace

Honorable mention to my favorite town theme ever before OT2 came out.

Battle Themes

1. Normal Battle I (OT2)

Another unpopular one because everyone seems to prefer II. I don't care. I wish this would play in higher level places.

2. They Who Govern Reason

Oh hey, OT1 got in the top 3 without the nostalgia boost. Favorite boss theme ever and not even the OT2 themes come close.

3. Fierce Confrontation / Critical Clash I

Another shared slot for the same reason as the character themes, I can't pick one.

OT2 Final Battle Themes

(yes these get their own section :D)

1. Song of Hope

No competition here, next. Lol. Agnea's theme is already that good on its own and this makes it so much better.

2. The Journey for Revenge Ends

Like I said, character development my beloved. You can hear how this man goes from nothing to lose to something to protect and they didn't even change the theme much.

3. The Journey for Kingship Ends

Took Hikari's theme long enough to do something for me, but it does it really well now. Points deducted for the fact that I couldn't really enjoy the battle because I loathe boss rushes and I didn't want to risk having to do the tedious duel again.

4. The Journey for Happiness Ends

Four again because I can't leave my beloved merchant out lol. What can I say, it's Partitio's theme. Probably the one that worked best for me while playing. Protip: sunset looks great here.

Other themes in no particular order

Victory Fanfares

Love those, especially 2.

Unshakable Resolve

I'm not crying. Phenomenal use in Castti's final chapter.

Beneath the Surface

OT1 wins in the dungeon theme department with this one, hands down.

Invitation to Darkness

Why didn't we get a whole dungeon with this. JFD felt really rushed tbh.

Final Final Battle Themes

Both are fantastic, but I very much prefer 2 to 1.

Sorry for the wall of text ;D

[ikram1909]

well culers aren’t really shit at defending players lol when gavi was getting hate they’d chant his name every match and everyone on this app defended him everyday pedri isn’t from la masia so they don’t care about him

Okay see now you're confusing fans who go to games and social media fans (especially the ones on twitter) there's a huge difference between the two. When I say culers suck at defending our players I mean the second type. The ones you say stood up for Gavi would do the same for Pedri. Hell, Pedri is probably even more loved or they're at least on the same level. Moreover, I don't think the situation Gavi was in when they started chanting his name and Pedri's are in any way comparable. Context matters. Gavi literally had an entire institution with their players, their coach, their huge media power doing everything in their power to destroy him mentally. They attacked him, they slandered his character and made him seem like a monster (his image is yet to recover to this day btw), they made up lies about his family and the list goes on. And like that wasn't enough, his contract just had to go and be unregistered by la liga because when it rains it fucking pours and the media launched their campaigns of fear mongering saying he won't play anymore or that he'll be a free agent and clubs were seeking him out etc I'm just a fan and I was stressed out imagine being him. A KID finally living his dream and suddenly everything is falling apart and he's getting booed in stadiums because people ate up the media campaigns. Like I think people don't grasp the gravity of what he had to deal with just because he dealt with it better than anyone in his situation could have. Because surely you wouldn't be begrudging him his name being chanted if you understood what he was going through. At least I hope you wouldn't. As for the social media type, Gavi is literally our most disrespected player on sns. And he's far from being protected, culers literally joined the hate train against him last season and some are still on it now. He was literally blamed for Jules' injury just a couple of weeks ago. I don't know about you but I wouldn't wish the way Gavi is treated on my worst enemy nvm my favourite player so bringing him up as a point of comparison made no sense to me.

All that being said, I can't say I disagree that culers are biased towards la masía kids I'm guilty of it too and I don't think that's a bad thing at all. These are kids who grew up dreaming of wearing the barça shirt and that have spent their childhood away from home fighting every day to keep their place. Not just anyone makes it out of la masía, it's a very competitive environment perhaps even unhealthy for kids to grow up in but they still do so we love them and enjoy their success because we have an idea about what it took for them to get here and that's okay. They also have Barça in their veins and it's nice to see that your players are as in love with barça as you are or maybe even moreso. So yes there's a bias towards la masía players sure but I honestly think Pedri is the player that's affected by it the least among all our non la masía players (along with Ronald). Culers literally love him so much they managed to convince themselves and everyone else that he is in fact from la masía 🤣🤣 he's a la masía graduate in our books and no one can tell us otherwise. He's very loved, don't let the twitter trolls convince you otherwise.

[cerisia76]

1, 8, 12 and 16 for the ask game (winx, but of course in the end you can choose the fandom 🙈)

~ leni

Don't think I forgot about you its not the case! Let's dive into this...

1 the character everyone gets wrong

There are so many characters this fandom gets wrong... But let's be honest Riven is still receiving trash for his season 1 character while he grew so much in seasons 2 and 4. He is seen as "an arrogant and toxic jerk who doesn't deserve Musa". And he is not. He's a guy suffering a terrible inferiority complex that he tries to hide behind a false superiority complex. He's a guy who grew alone, was abandoned by his mother, saw rich people get better than him easier because they could afford everything that he couldn't and he is an arrogant jerk in first half of season 1 because it's his protection. We see in the terrible episode where he is mind-tortured by Darcy (and actually I sometimes wonder if she did that to make him suffer or to make him grow) that he acknowledges his mistakes and wants to become a better person. and what people seem to get wrong is that HE DID change and became a better person. When people say he is the toxic one in season 4 it annoys me because they were both toxic for each other and when he realised it, what did he do? He tried to repare his mistakes. Riven deserves more love.

8 common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

"Valtor is the best Winx Club villain". Sorry not sorry, I really am not a huge fan of him. Probably because his french voice makes him look like an arrogant jerk. Which he is. But I just don't get what he has that is more interesting than the Trix, Darkar (honestly he IS the best villain) or Wizards of the Black Circle (they are my favourites I'm biased) and is nowhere near the level of the Ancestral Witches. Do people love him because they find him beautiful? I really don't know because he's so overrated to me when he lost in such a shitty way (but it's because the end of the season was rushed). He is a really good villain I won't deny it. But is he superior to all the other villains we've been introduced to? If we only talk about the four first seasons I don't think so.

12 the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Krystal wins this post easily. People hate her for the whole drama in season 5 when it's clear that she's a sixteen years-old girl who acts without thinking bad and who tries her best to help. Yes she's being very close to Helia and wants his approval and attention but she is introduced as a childhood friend and we know that even with the reboot, Helia is older than the rest of the group and older than Krystal which always made evident to me that she saw him as this big brother she had to impress. To me she never showed a romantic interest in him and had more romantic tension when she apologizes to Flora than in any other scene. Yes, she's put in scenes for plot sake like when she heals Sky or Helia but it's not her fault and she acts out of pure goodness and good heart. She deserves more than being insulted all the time by a part of this fandom. She's an adorable fairy, she would make an awesome couple with Galatea and she deserves to be recognized, finally, as the adorable girl she is.

16 you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Okay it's a though one to be honest because there are many options and I don't know where to start. But to be honest I'm gonna have to go with Mirta because I already explained everything here. Also I would say I don't get why so many people love Valtor/Icy. They could be a powerful couple but I don't feel like he had a different relationship with her than with Darcy and Stormy.