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#okay yes i know thats not how it works
tea-with--honey · 1 year
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Happy pride to the folks who live in countries where being queer is a crime and, in some instances, legally punishable by death. I see you, I'm with you, I'll celebrate with you. Hoping ur celebrating online or in your head or in an awesome private place with your queer companions. Maybe youre not! Maybe youre out there fighting for our rights and if you are then hell yeah! But this goes out to the ones who cant because of the risk. We're still queer and we can still celebrate pride in our own little ways. Love yall :)
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marcmorrigan · 7 months
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@fenglianweek day 6: memories/growing up
the best thing thats ever been mine
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aubrey with a metaverse outfit
...I hope you know it took me a month to draw this and it's nOT EVEN BECAUSE IM GAY. Colors are hard man. But i... actually REALLY TOOK THIS REQUEST SERIOUSLY THE MOMENT I SAW IT and am pretty proud of the design- tHE COLORS JUST FUCKED ME OVER MAN
anyways <3 Aubrey as a Phantom Thief!! Without and with a mask <3
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Joker (and the others) suggested codenames such as: -Hare -Cottontail -Lucky -Rabid -Burrow
What do you guys think?
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spamtoon · 7 months
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i would take their poison
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Sketch + Line Art for those Clicking Under the Cut(tm) (archival purposes honestly)
#moshi monsters#sweet tooth moshi monsters#experimentation i am COG AWFUL at digital dear goodness i was playing with coloring and transparency and all those fun digital doodads.#next time i probably wont have black outline or i'll do it differently. or i'll try well. not doing this. it sure was a process im#i'm an amateur everyone who masically only doodles. does the sketch look better than the final. kinda! but thats okay because im learning#and y'know what. sometimes in life you just need to draw faves no consequences#for how saturated a character they are i kinda feel like i pastelled things too muc and trapped myself with my convoluted layer setup but m#it was looking WEIRD with everything at full force#maybe the sparkles look dumb maybe the hair looks dumb and out of place and why i kinda made the lollipop a little funky too#uhh. first digital piece posted... ever?#the arm is SO fucky i am not that was. thats not what perspective is spam#yes this is what i spent a good chunk of today doing after i started working on coloring it and then. decided to go for it.#cooolrs a little inaccurate on the horns and such but man one of the biggest art things was like#i dont have to have everything at their perfect hex codes all the time. this would look way worse if i just. used their standard colors#yeah this is. instead of looking like its forward and to the right it kinda just looks like they have a Bigger hypno-lolly#especialy becase. i did not bother on the gloves and platforms i the sparkles work with 2 kinda sorta but you know#im practicing! i'm learning! i'll get better and learn how to do things more effectively!#anyway. sweet toof#though hey their arm looks even more fucked in the line art and sketch SO#note to future self have a Consistent Line Art Size so that if you feel like the line art looks like shit during coloring you dont have to#gamble on what size it was while changing it#sketch lollipop looks better i should have kept it small. but its fine. we'll get em next time boys (tm)#yes i know my gif post was so fancy and then the drawing is just THIS
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bunnihearted · 1 month
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
#today i thought about this a lot because#it was a veryyyy bad day noise wise#it goes up and down even if im generally easily disturbed by noise#but sometimes i feel more ok with it and can cope somewhat#but some days it is just extra bad and it is physically painful and im constantly stressed#today was one of those days where i almost just broke down and started screaming and crying#i managed not to. but god my upper body hurts a lot bc i get so tense and i cannot relax#all the CONSTANT noise is so painful lol#so yes i thought about it a lot today bc i was doing bad and i realized.. even if i already know#how like.. amazing it is that i can feel such a way .. and that in this existence a safe space for me does exist#his voice just does smth to me on metaphysical (is that the word?) and undescribable levels. it just /reaches/ me#it's so cool that i have physical reactions to just hearing the sound of his voice? i feel my heartbeat slow and my body relaxes and im like#idk how to explain but i feel soothed to my bones and my soul feels cradled. it's like his voice just erases everything else#i just think that is so amazing? like how can that be? how can i experience all of this inside of my existence?#im just in awe of how that can work. how this person's voice has such effects on my being. how it makes my hyper stressed body just feel#okay and calm and soft when i exist in the space of hearing his voice..#maybe i sound crazy :$ .. but thats just how i feel. like today when i was on a walk..#and omg it was noise overload it was crazy i felt my entire neck and throat and shoulders hurt so bad and i wanted to scream and rip my#hair out. i just kept imagining his voice and wanting to just be in that space and soothed state my body enters his voice alone puts me in#im not sure if thats weird or bad of me.. :c but thats just what happens!!! and selfishly i crave it!! i'd never be demanding or forceful#i have more than i couldve ever dreamed or asked for. i can listen and breathe and be ok. and i can imagine his voice too..#soft fluffy cloud that envelopes me.. maybe i *am* crazy or too intense but its just the truth#and ig what im trying to say it is that im infinitely thankful & grateful for this. that i can have felt this. & know it exists like wow??
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littlest-bugz · 3 months
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Does anyone else go thru phases where you don’t want to talk to anyone?
Like,,, I love you so much, but I just need to RECOUP. I need my alone time so I don’t have another breakdown.
#littlest_bugz og#Like dawg Ive interacted with 2 people and even then Ive been spotty#like I just need a break#I know its not… like.. good to leave people on read or just not respond— I learned this in ‘Friendship 101’ but it gets SO tiring to mask#like no offense… i will never take the mask off. its how I fuckin survive#but I want friends#I want to love and be loved#but unfortunately :( Im not skilled at keeping friends#and Ive gotten so jaded by being a revolving door of friends that Im not even sure I can properly get emotionally attatched to anyone#on top of that ive been so in so many abusive romantic relationships that it feels impossible to find ONE GOOD PARTNER#Its not even yearning at this point because Im not sure I can form romantic connections anymore#last guy I liked by accident#like ex bestfriends ex#but he ended up being a fuckin creep#about the blowup part? I had a total explosive breakdown#over the stupidest shit too smfh#not even worth the breakdown#Broke my laptop#Hurt myself#Everything ended up okay#like even my laptop works again but#it was a lot for me- for my family#i hate being a lot like that#thankfully my brother who had similar breakdowns in the past was able to calm me down#thats why my brother is my father figure: my actual dad will yell at me while Im sobbing profusely and my brother will comfort me#and make sure im not hurt#I love my brother so much#Ive had so many people come into my life and be like ‘you love him despite all the trauma hes caused you?’#FUCKING YES#Like my brother was a survivor of fucking organized abuse. hes been through so much that it was only natural that he would blow up
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piplupod · 3 months
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feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.
#part of me wonders if going to the centre is helping or hurting more#but i think it's definitely helping more. however it is definitely also hurting/making some things worse#i just wish I could be operating at the same level as most of society#and i feel so egotistical when I talk abt this#but like. why am i always so fucking aware of every single thing going on#and everyone else is just painfully oblivious#I AM USING HYPERBOLE. ITS NOT EVERYONE. i know im not the only person ever lmao#when i got my autism diagnosis i thought oh good okay so THIS is why im such a freak#and now I've met so many other autistic ppl irl and um. no. no thats definitely not it still.#yes its probably part of it but im also just. so fucking traumatized i guess idk. i hate this so much#i just want to be the same and fit in and not be analyzing everything and be able to actually speak my mind#and not be so kind and polite and respectful all the time and be able to say shitty stupid things without thinking anything of it#im so tired of being the only one who seems to care so much about everyone else's comfort and feelings#but also at the same time i would hate if i acted like everyone else bc i know how shitty it makes people feel#and people are always so happy to see me because I am useful and make them feel good and comfortable and heard#and that matters. that means a lot to people i think. but also I am not a person. i am a tool.#and I'd really like to be a person#i somehow feel like im operating at a higher level/awareness than almost everyone irl and also way below everyone at the same time#like im so hyperaware of everyone else more than most ppl but im also so socially inept sometimes. and just... idk how to be a person.#i dont know i just want to not be like this. its so lonely and tiring and i want to matter to people#i want them to like me for more than just what I'm able to do for them. I want to be liked for Me i guess. but Me isnt likeable maybe#Me is uncomfortable for people. Me is a trembling cornered prey animal with a longing to tell stories but is too afraid to do anything#and so Me just exists in a hollow shell made out of people-pleasing and fawning and mirroring everyone around them#and then i get lonelier and more isolated and nothing really changes. but every time i try to crack open the shell a little it goes badly#like i genuinely dont think its my paranoia. i think it is not Safe for Me to exist properly.#i am too sensitive probably! but it does very much feel like a raw wound that peope jab aggressively at when i open up a little!#boy howdy i sound like such a wuss. i mean i probably am one fjfkdl#i just feel like I keep trying to fix things and improve and try new things and nothing ever really works well#my counsellors have always commented on how impressed they are at my willingness to try things#and its like ?? yeah ! ofc i am going to try things! maybe that will be smth that finally helps!
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bigskydreaming · 29 days
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We really lost the 'that is not how reclamation works' battle, huh.
Not to discourse on main, but I truly do not understand why its so hard to instead of saying 'oh its fine to say queer, its been reclaimed' just say 'I've personally reclaimed queer for myself and choose it as one of my labels and how I refer to community, so I support its usage.'
Or 'I've personally reclaimed queer and invite being labeled as such, but that's not the case for everyone so its best to continue to ask people on an individual basis what they prefer.'
Or 'I've reclaimed queer for myself and am fine with anyone using queer to refer to me, and encourage its usage among the community, but I don't feel great about cis straight people defaulting to it to refer to the community as a whole, given its history and the fact that cis straight people can not and SHOULD not ever be able to participate in reclamation.'
Or 'I personally have chosen not to reclaim queer, as given my personal history with the word I don't actually find empowerment in that and would not appreciate being labeled as such, instead of by the word(s) I've asked to have used as my labels.'
Like. It really is that simple. Call people what they ask to be called. Don't call people what they've asked not to be called. If you're not sure what they want to be called, ask them, and then call them that.
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skitskatdacat63 · 8 months
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Orb...
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+ process kinda
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toytulini · 3 months
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i feel like the makeup standards are not necessarily going to get Worse, just. stay the Same. "raised by sephora and ulta" christ alive yall act like this shit is new. as if this hasnt been the standard to blast young girls with makeup ads and shit via magazine and tv and imposed beauty standards anyway. the only real difference is like, idk, accessibility of tutorials for how to apply it well
#toy txt post#spoken as. a no makeup bitch#altho i have also been accused by a terf of wearing a pound if makeup for wearing. visible lipstick in a selfie. and that was It#the actual Beauty Standard has largely stayed the exact fucking same of like making your skin texture as fake as possible#that was the standard back then too but it was harder to achieve /know how to do it cos there werent tutorials the same way now#also yes sephora and ulta are evil and all that but like the same amount theyve always been.#yall really acting like these imposed beauty standards being exposed to children is like a new unique tiktom thing thats never happened#before. and yall blaming instagram are no fuckin better. this has been happening The Entire God Damn Time#also theres something rubbing me about the way this is getting talked about. 'she did all thos other arbitrary bullshit except this#One Thing! the discrimination against this one thing is awful!#and like. it is. but i feel like we could address that while also maybe stepping back a tiny bit further and questioning these arbitrary#standards of professionalism too while we're at it#why does she have to have a blazer either? why do the earrings have to be understated#why do the colors have ti be bland and boring? why does he hair have to be a natural color and gender conforming ?#etc etc etc#like if we're accepting all that other shit the ppl upset about this could acknowledge she might experience similar discrimination for say#very obvious goth or punk-y makeup or anything a little too far outside the bounds of the acceptable beauty standard#everyone is pissed about 'eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man' but theyd be saying nothing if she was discriminated for fuckin#big wings and black lipstick bc well thats Obviously not professional standard makeup. okay?#if we change how we look at professional standards of dress and makeup as a whole to include Fucking Freak Bitches#then it would be a lot easier to include No Makeup in there as welllllll#idk#im a no makeup bitch with blue hair whos only ever worked in warehouses so they didnt give too much of a shit about my lack of makeup#or blue hair as long as i didnt show up in like flip flops which is a Reasonable dress code bc its got an actual fucking reason#(safety so you dont lose your goddamn toes to a box or a grate or some shit) vs it makes the office corpo bros sad#anyway idk if you have the privilege to get away with it i think you should dress weirder in the office to get them used to weirder dress#maybe instead of Suddenly going No Makeup sort of slowly lessen the amount so its not a Sudden change or smth#again: if you have the privilege and job security to get away with it#also also also: easier to get away with if you were to say. mask. js. they cant get mad at schrodingers lack of lipstick
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heffrondriving · 1 year
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soooo. that new big time rush album huh
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chialattea · 3 months
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genuinely considering making easy-to-read pamphlets/posts about some STEM concepts, specifically about genetic engineering (CRISPR), how GMOs actually work, what epigenetics are and/or what popular lab procedures basically do. However. That would be like, incredibly niche and science-y. And this is also basically a fandom blog. And unless they’re fanfic writers trying to write a scientist or something I don’t think people come to tumblr to read this kind of stuff. Maybe… if I make them with anime characters…?
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thecoolblackwaves · 3 months
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Yes I'm making soup in 100 F weather. What about it. Sometimes you remember you got a piece of meat on sale and your potatoes are starting to sprout and you've had mac n cheese 4 times this week and you simply must make soup. Don't be jealous because my house feels like a sauna and I have soup and you don't.
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theygender · 2 years
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Yeah sure growing up abused may have left me with permanent scars on my psychological state that I'm still working to unpack, but on the bright side it gave me the ability to give a thoughtful in depth analysis of Roald Dahl's Matilda and all of its adaptations
#rambling#i love matilda so much. its such an important story to me. its literally just an abused childs power fantasy#where she gets to get back at the people who hurt her and protect other kids and then get a new loving family and everything is alright#my gf and i just watched the movie adaptation of the musical and we have Opinions on it. some good and some bad#so weve been discussing it and analyzing different parts of it#and its kinda nice to get to use my history for something good#to be able to give thoughtful analysis on how the changes they made in this adaptation have changed the allegory for abuse in the story#from the perspective of someone who grew up with that#and to just. have that be normal. my gf knows my history and its not gonna stop the conversation if i say#'this change works well for trunchbull's character bc it makes her seem more like a real life abuser'#'this detail is very subtle but it really captures some tiny part of the experience of growing up with an abuser'#'i dont like this bc it detracts from the narrative of the main character feeling alone and makes it less relatable to abused kids'#'i dont like this because while it IS something that happens under abuse it detracts from the fantasy where the kids all win together'#idk. of course everything that happened to me as a kid was awful and should not have happened but like#for a long time i had this problem where i didnt know how i was ever supposed to be okay about that#like no matter how much therapy i go through it will never UN-happen. it will always still have happened and it will always have been awful#and i couldnt figure out how i was supposed to recover from that besides 'bury it and try your hardest to never ever think about it'#and. i think maybe this is it. yes the abuse i went through was awful. thats kind of the whole thing about abuse#but. its also just a fact of my life. im better NOW. but that will not change what happened then#the abuse was awful. but the fact that i am an abuse survivor is a neutral fact. the same as any other fact from my childhood#its just a fact. a part of my past. and maybe being able to talk about it that way is... good for me#i dont have to break down when i think about it bc im okay now. my partner doesnt need to stop me and express sorrow for me bc im okay now#i can talk about my past in a neutral way and use my life experience to analyze movies#the same way that i used my experience of growing up in arkansas to analyze hollywood hillbillies when we watched it together#theyre both just two facts of my life. and analyzing movies is fun#that woman has no power over me anymore and hasnt for many many years. im okay now#abuse mention#child abuse mention#request to tag
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mifunebooty · 1 year
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Happy one year anniversary to one of the biggest mental breakdowns of my life That made me see i have to start changing my life to better myself and my relationships with others by being responsible for my mental illness upkeep and stop living for others and live for me and now im taking film and theatre classes with a job on the side and have a short movie to my credit
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spaciebabie · 1 year
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How do you sketch and draw so well?!
I wanna reach your level of skill, are there any tips or videos/guides that helped you a lot?
FIRST OF ALL THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT?? RAAAAAAWRRRG IT MEANS A LOT
erruh ill try my best ta give advice (although i still feel like i have a lot ta learn) i wrote more than i thought i would so its under the cut ^v^!
ermm i mean im entirely self taught (if it wasnt obvious) so my artist journey has basically been me looking at other artists artstyles, methods of coloring and drawing, etc. and adapting them in my art when i see something i really like.
i used ta watch a lot of speedpaint videos as a kid and those are honestly really helpful for figuring out how artists do specific things. for example: when i was 14 i watched a speedpaint done by an artist i looked upta and noted their use of layer settings ta make certain colors pop and i have used their method ever since! dont be afraid ta experiment and draw inspiration :]
i have watched a lot of videos and followed tutorials on how ta do specific things such as anatomy (lots and lots of anatomy...), shading, perspective, etc. although i mostly look at those when things dont quite look right and i wanna improve. i dont really have any specific recs for tutorials? for me tutorials can be a hit or miss (seems like a 10/90 hit or miss instead of 50/50 sometimes ._.). my most basic advice is ta break things down inta shapes! cubes are the easiest shape for me ta understand so breaking things down like that has helped me a lot! ALSO REFERENCES. USE REFERENCES THEY HELP SOOOO MUCH FORREAL ONG BRAH. DONT BE AFRAID TA TRACE OVER SOMETHING TA FIGURE OUT THE SHAPES IF YOU CANT JUST SEE EM AND PULL EM OUT (but also only do this for practice, dont trace over things and then post em and say they're yours thats theft) AND LOOK AT LIGHTING TOO AND HOW IT TOUCHES CERTAIN OBJECTS DO SOME STUDIES ITS GOOD FOR YA (<- sucks at doing studies b/c he gets bored of doing them really easily)
a note about sketching: something i know a lot of beginners struggle w/is using too many strokes. it happens when you're unsure of a specific thing you're drawing and i do happen ta fall inta this from time ta time, although i try not 2 as much as possible. an example of me on a good sketching day is this rabbittrap i drew:
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i use very few strokes here! and am not afraid ta overshoot my lines. compare it ta this drawing i did months ago:
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and you can tell i was having trouble in certain parts b/c of the heavy amount of strokes i used. it takes practice but sketching w/out using as many strokes is a surefire way ta make your art seem more dynamic and less ridged and also save time! remember, you dont hafta detail out every last thing in your initial sketch. save that for later!
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