#okay yes i know thats not how it works
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Happy pride to the folks who live in countries where being queer is a crime and, in some instances, legally punishable by death. I see you, I'm with you, I'll celebrate with you. Hoping ur celebrating online or in your head or in an awesome private place with your queer companions. Maybe youre not! Maybe youre out there fighting for our rights and if you are then hell yeah! But this goes out to the ones who cant because of the risk. We're still queer and we can still celebrate pride in our own little ways. Love yall :)
#pride#pride month#queer ppl in the middle east wya?#queer ppl in other places where 'sodomy' is considered a federal offense we r all in this together#lqbtqia#queer#im on vacation in the philippines rn which tolerates queer ppl but yknow gay marriage is still illegal#and nothing really protects us here#but i was on netflix and they had a pride collection and I was sat there thinking that the netflix back home probably doesnt have this#and while ppl are still incredibly judgy here the government cant arrest us and have us killed here yknow#not like back home yknow like where my biggest fear isnt that somebody will bully me but that somebody will report me#okay yes i know thats not how it works#but under sharia law sodomy is definitely punishable by death#sodomy aka anal/oral sex aka most of gay intercourse#but like even homosexuality in general would probably get you stopped by the police here#flashbacks to when they made stores remove their RAINBOW products because it mightve been gay#a color scheme. that comes directly from mother nature.#anyways screw them and happy pride#correction: sharia law is interpreted by each country but a lot certainly tie sodomy to the death penalty somewhere#im so sleepy i bet this post has so many mistakes but i just had to get it out there
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@fenglianweek day 6: memories/growing up
the best thing thats ever been mine
#tgcf#xie lian#feng xin#fenglian#fenglianweek24#my art#full color#I SPENT SOOO LONG ON THIS ONE... like not long for me. fast for me! but compared to the other ones ive done for flw. long.#this has been a few weeks of work and im very happy with how it turned out! tried to be thoughtful about how i approached the colors#and i think it really paid off! theres SO MANY COLORS in the pants im so proud of all the fabric in this...#that white fabric has so. many colors. it makes me super happy#also some of the fallen petals make hearts. btw >:o)#idk if they translate well but feng xin has top surgery scars!!! theyre both trans but xie lian is a cultivator so. he just uses magic#i KNOW when he first learned transformation magic he like BOOKED IT to feng xin to show him like 'LOOK. FLAT!!!'#and little teenxin was like 'ummm 😳 yeah. flat'#ANYWAY!!! idk if they actually look like teens here... hopefully yes. xie lian does to me at least???#or at least he looks different from how i draw him as an 800smthng year old lol. but still like himself i think!!! i hope...#whatever. point is. do you remember we were sitting there by the water. you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of#the tags cut me off there. thats a good thing. IF YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW.#did you guys know i have headcanons about the type of tswift fans mu qing and xie lian would be. well now you know. I Have Thoughts#OKAY THATS ENOUGH TAGS I NEED TO ACTUALLY POST THIS. ILY MUAH TTYL
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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2 days since i finished once upon a witchlight. 2 days since i last saw kremy. Kremy withdrawal is starting, and it hurts. Like a kremy hangover (which no is not connected with my actual hangover). Kremy means so much to me. In fact kremy means SO much to me i have a deep desire to get like a badge or a diploma for being a part of kremy nation. I would like to be perceived above all else- as a kremy girlie. WITNESS ME AS I TALK ABOUT KREMY LECROUX. contact me if you want to talk about kremy lecroux, i need to verify the info. When i die and my brain gets cut in half, all the wrinkles are shaped like kremy. And if one sunny day, running late somewhere, with a single slice of toast in my mouth, i bump into richie god damn gilder i will with no hesitation fall on the ground and thank him for creating kremy. And he will think wow shes so cool and normal, from his backpack he will produce a purple book. I gasp. Oh my god what is that. He says szare you are so cool you should have this its a book that contains every single fact about kremy ive been writing it for years. I will say thank you how can i ever show my gratitude. And he will say dw abt it bestie.
Every wednesday kremy nation shall gather as i will read a page from the kremy book.
#richie if youre reading this#thats your cue to start writing#yeah yeah im normal or whatever#just#kurwa mać no#staram sie pisac a bestis gadaja obok moj mozg nie daje rady#okay focus focusssss my head hurts so much from the hangover yes the actual hangover#kremy nation#justtttt i dont know i have this weird desire in me to be recognized as a kremy girl i dont know what this says about me#id say im a massive fucking loser but i just got a job i have friends and good grades thats not very loser like#i guess the loser within never leaves#pardon my long posts and long tags im with friends and i cant be vocal about kremy#kind of writing all this to self regulate birthday party was great but overwhelming#anyway i fucking love kremy its a love that doesnt happen often#happened once before with dennis reynolds i think i have a type#kremy my best friend from another universe all i have is a gator plushie#idk whats wrong with me#richie is a very smart man i cant even imagine how the process of making such a character and living him works#and how amazing it is to witness how wonderful it is to see richie live kremy god dammit hes so fucking smart and amazing#gods!!!!#what a time to be alive at the same time as richard gilder to witness his craft#i will shut the fuck up now#at least for this post#*i cover my face with a cape like a vampire and jump out of the window*#once upon a witchlight#kremy lecroux
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aubrey with a metaverse outfit
...I hope you know it took me a month to draw this and it's nOT EVEN BECAUSE IM GAY. Colors are hard man. But i... actually REALLY TOOK THIS REQUEST SERIOUSLY THE MOMENT I SAW IT and am pretty proud of the design- tHE COLORS JUST FUCKED ME OVER MAN
anyways <3 Aubrey as a Phantom Thief!! Without and with a mask <3
Joker (and the others) suggested codenames such as: -Hare -Cottontail -Lucky -Rabid -Burrow
What do you guys think?
#star art#ren's blorbos#art for a shooting star#omori aubrey#aubrey omori#persona 5#omori#aubrey takeshi#p5 hare#yes she gets a tag shhh#anyways. holy shIT was this a struggle#do you know how hard it is to decide colors for outfits that looks good???? DO YOU#ITS SO HARD TO LIKE. FIND COLORS THAT MIX!!! AND EVEN HARDER WHEN IT'S FANART AND THE CHARACTER IN QUESTION HAS A SET COLOR SCHEME#THAT YOU NOW HVE TO INCORPORATE INTO A ENTIRELY DIFFERENT OUTFIT- A *COMPLEX COSTUME* EVEN!!#IT LOOKED EASY NOW BUT AT THE VERY BEGINNING IW AS. STARING AT THE SKETCH LIKE... '.....WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH THIS'#bUT I FUCKING GOT IT IN THE END. AT LEAST. I HOPE I DID#and now that i've finished i can completely admire my work!#......#....oKAY I THINK THATS ENOUGH ADMIRING////
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i would take their poison
Sketch + Line Art for those Clicking Under the Cut(tm) (archival purposes honestly)
#moshi monsters#sweet tooth moshi monsters#experimentation i am COG AWFUL at digital dear goodness i was playing with coloring and transparency and all those fun digital doodads.#next time i probably wont have black outline or i'll do it differently. or i'll try well. not doing this. it sure was a process im#i'm an amateur everyone who masically only doodles. does the sketch look better than the final. kinda! but thats okay because im learning#and y'know what. sometimes in life you just need to draw faves no consequences#for how saturated a character they are i kinda feel like i pastelled things too muc and trapped myself with my convoluted layer setup but m#it was looking WEIRD with everything at full force#maybe the sparkles look dumb maybe the hair looks dumb and out of place and why i kinda made the lollipop a little funky too#uhh. first digital piece posted... ever?#the arm is SO fucky i am not that was. thats not what perspective is spam#yes this is what i spent a good chunk of today doing after i started working on coloring it and then. decided to go for it.#cooolrs a little inaccurate on the horns and such but man one of the biggest art things was like#i dont have to have everything at their perfect hex codes all the time. this would look way worse if i just. used their standard colors#yeah this is. instead of looking like its forward and to the right it kinda just looks like they have a Bigger hypno-lolly#especialy becase. i did not bother on the gloves and platforms i the sparkles work with 2 kinda sorta but you know#im practicing! i'm learning! i'll get better and learn how to do things more effectively!#anyway. sweet toof#though hey their arm looks even more fucked in the line art and sketch SO#note to future self have a Consistent Line Art Size so that if you feel like the line art looks like shit during coloring you dont have to#gamble on what size it was while changing it#sketch lollipop looks better i should have kept it small. but its fine. we'll get em next time boys (tm)#yes i know my gif post was so fancy and then the drawing is just THIS
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Does anyone else go thru phases where you don’t want to talk to anyone?
Like,,, I love you so much, but I just need to RECOUP. I need my alone time so I don’t have another breakdown.
#Like dawg Ive interacted with 2 people and even then Ive been spotty#like I just need a break#I know its not… like.. good to leave people on read or just not respond— I learned this in ‘Friendship 101’ but it gets SO tiring to mask#like no offense… i will never take the mask off. its how I fuckin survive#but I want friends#I want to love and be loved#but unfortunately :( Im not skilled at keeping friends#and Ive gotten so jaded by being a revolving door of friends that Im not even sure I can properly get emotionally attatched to anyone#on top of that ive been so in so many abusive romantic relationships that it feels impossible to find ONE GOOD PARTNER#Its not even yearning at this point because Im not sure I can form romantic connections anymore#last guy I liked by accident#like ex bestfriends ex#but he ended up being a fuckin creep#about the blowup part? I had a total explosive breakdown#over the stupidest shit too smfh#not even worth the breakdown#Broke my laptop#Hurt myself#Everything ended up okay#like even my laptop works again but#it was a lot for me- for my family#i hate being a lot like that#thankfully my brother who had similar breakdowns in the past was able to calm me down#thats why my brother is my father figure: my actual dad will yell at me while Im sobbing profusely and my brother will comfort me#and make sure im not hurt#I love my brother so much#Ive had so many people come into my life and be like ‘you love him despite all the trauma hes caused you?’#FUCKING YES#Like my brother was a survivor of fucking organized abuse. hes been through so much that it was only natural that he would blow up
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Still thinking about this bc being a shitty teacher isn't the same as being evil and yet- *gets shot*
#Porter discourse bc good god if theres ever a character that I could write at length about their character assassination its him#Porter becoming comically evil for a bit I can handle but then the grooming being tacked on is like horrific in a way thats like.. okay#but why did that have to happen??#and I don't think brennan meant anything malicious by it y'know? it was more like 'hey! Emily would LOVE this & she'll still play fig!'#And yes the seeds were planted in sophomore year with the nightmare kings crown and Ragh#But we also saw how he was when working with other students and how much he cared for Ragh zelda and Fig like he was proud of his students#HE BECAME PROUD OF GORGUG#So to find out he was basically just grooming Kip is like- and then the seriousness of the grooming isnt addressed#its not handled with the level of seriousness like when the table realizes Bobby Dawn groomed Sandra Lynn#It's played as a bit and it feels like are we eating our cake and then having it too by making him a bumbling idiot in the finale when#he was shown as clever enough to fly under the radar except to fig who in the meta emily kept playing up the porter is evil bit bc no one#else believed it and it was funny to play up fig being extra sus of him#but then its also like okay we dont care about the grooming now also because it was kipperlily who they were beefing with- its just?#I wish the grooming never because part of it and I feel like thats the thing that bothers me about junior year and Porter specifically#AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#Porter cliffbreaker#not main d20 tagging this bc i know I'll look fucking insane but I do think porter as the big bad couldve been cleaner and it made me lose#a little faith in the storytelling of FH and made me not want a senior year#it kinda turned me off from d20 like i just have been less interested and the last 3 episodes are a massive reason why#and now theres too much shit left hanging so its like.. we kinda need a senior year but its like.. ehh.
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We really lost the 'that is not how reclamation works' battle, huh.
Not to discourse on main, but I truly do not understand why its so hard to instead of saying 'oh its fine to say queer, its been reclaimed' just say 'I've personally reclaimed queer for myself and choose it as one of my labels and how I refer to community, so I support its usage.'
Or 'I've personally reclaimed queer and invite being labeled as such, but that's not the case for everyone so its best to continue to ask people on an individual basis what they prefer.'
Or 'I've reclaimed queer for myself and am fine with anyone using queer to refer to me, and encourage its usage among the community, but I don't feel great about cis straight people defaulting to it to refer to the community as a whole, given its history and the fact that cis straight people can not and SHOULD not ever be able to participate in reclamation.'
Or 'I personally have chosen not to reclaim queer, as given my personal history with the word I don't actually find empowerment in that and would not appreciate being labeled as such, instead of by the word(s) I've asked to have used as my labels.'
Like. It really is that simple. Call people what they ask to be called. Don't call people what they've asked not to be called. If you're not sure what they want to be called, ask them, and then call them that.
#and yes this includes calling other LGBTQ+ individuals queer if they ask me to. which anyone who knows me is aware Im perfectly happy to do#my own choice not to use queer for myself is simply that. my choice for myself#like just. stop making choices for other members of your own damn community. Thats ALL this is. Dont terfs say this or you sound like MAGA#gays that. This is just one bi man who doesnt like the idea of people inviting themselves to address him in the same way his#literal attackers have in the past when he's always been forthright about asking to be called bi. Its a perfectly fine label. It works fine#There was no community wide meeting for us ALL to vote on 'okay once and for all are we all agreeing that we've decided queer#is officially reclaimed? yes? okay great! tell the cis straights queer is officially IN!' so I just dislike when people act like there was#thats not how this works. thats not how any of this works!!
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Orb...
+ process kinda
#istg lineart is just a horrible terrible thing LOL#i sketch and it goes very well and i am very happy and i feel very creative!!!#i have to do lineart and it makes me want to give up the piece .....#i get to paint and im like omg i could do this for hours !!! this is so fun !!!!!!#thus: orb#im very happy w it so thats why im posting#idk how long the actual piece is gonna take so might as well post a little sneak peak ig#lmfao i gave up on the crown bcs it was too complicated and then drew this. maybe the crown will come back. prob not#im surprised w the process of this. i usually struggle a lot w accurately referencing real life things#and i usually end up tracing them just to understand how the form works#and god ive drawn so many complicated things for this piece and havent had to trace at all???? okay?????#i mean ofc its not entirely accurate bcs the craftsmanship on the original orb is actually insane#but i think ive got it down p well :)#ill have to try to make the gold look a bit better at some point later on but for now its !!!#i like how half my art i post here is either chibis#or just the most brainrot intense historically detailed shit ever#yes no one i talk to probably knows what a globus cruciger is but GOD DAMN IT IM GONNA DRAW IT ACCURATELY#had this thought ^ when i looked at my top posts and my last post was those nando chibis#and then after a week of not drawing after that im like yeah let me draw several imperial relics#catie.art.
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just watched 21 jump street and looked up the cast bc thats what i do when i watch movies and found out that there was a tv show also named 21 jump street that the movie was a kinda sorta but not really sequel to the show and that the random cameo with johnny depp at the end was in fact not a random famous comedic actor cameo at all bc he was like the main character in the original tv show and that led me down a weird rabbit hole (incoming pun not intended) and learned about the other cops in that show one of them being Judy Hoffs which if youre like me ur former disney brain immediately connected that to Judy Hopps from zootopia and looked it up to see if it was intentional and apparently the name (and job) similarities were not supposed to be a reference on the zootopia team's part and its "just a play on how rabbits jump" and they were "unaware of the 21 jump street character when naming judy" which i think is some pretty big bullshit because theres no way a character who's first name is Judy and last name is hopps (spelled with two P's the way hoFFs is spelled) and just so happens to also be a young and brand new cop is just a crazy random coincidence
#no paragraph breaks bc this is how my brain works when im in lore deepdive mode#no ones gonna read this but whatever#anyway i didnt think id like 21 jump street the movie bc i usually hate 2010s R- comedy movies#and like anything jonah hill is in HAHA#but i figured ive gone long enough not knowing its references and also i felt like doing a channing tatum binge#bUt i actually giggled at a few jokes i hate to say#most of them were on channings part hes pretty funny. cant stand jonah hill tho sorry not sorry#also they look nothing alike but the amount of times i mix up tom hardy and channing tatum in my head is fucking crazy#anyway#kats movie rants#also i'll bring this up in everything thats relevant but i fucking love Zootopia ive seen it so many times#ive read and watched so many concept videos of the movie in preproduction and making ofs and docu's of that movie omfg#also yes i love nick wilde no not like that hes just silly goofy okay i just love suave sarcastic (fox) characters i swear#every time i remember how the movie plot was supposed to go (shock collars) another little piece of me dies inside because#goddamn its such a good and heartwrenching concept and i still wanna see it on the big screen SO BAD#especially all the test animations and storyboards they already did for that plot line OUGH IT LOOKED SO GOOD#and the fact that the supposed building that nick owned in the concept can be seen (delapadated) in the bkrd of the movie in a scene too BR#god i cant stop talking about it now oh god i unleashed my own beast i need to stop im stopping okay goodnight#yeah so if u cant tell i really love zootopia HAHA
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i feel like the makeup standards are not necessarily going to get Worse, just. stay the Same. "raised by sephora and ulta" christ alive yall act like this shit is new. as if this hasnt been the standard to blast young girls with makeup ads and shit via magazine and tv and imposed beauty standards anyway. the only real difference is like, idk, accessibility of tutorials for how to apply it well
#toy txt post#spoken as. a no makeup bitch#altho i have also been accused by a terf of wearing a pound if makeup for wearing. visible lipstick in a selfie. and that was It#the actual Beauty Standard has largely stayed the exact fucking same of like making your skin texture as fake as possible#that was the standard back then too but it was harder to achieve /know how to do it cos there werent tutorials the same way now#also yes sephora and ulta are evil and all that but like the same amount theyve always been.#yall really acting like these imposed beauty standards being exposed to children is like a new unique tiktom thing thats never happened#before. and yall blaming instagram are no fuckin better. this has been happening The Entire God Damn Time#also theres something rubbing me about the way this is getting talked about. 'she did all thos other arbitrary bullshit except this#One Thing! the discrimination against this one thing is awful!#and like. it is. but i feel like we could address that while also maybe stepping back a tiny bit further and questioning these arbitrary#standards of professionalism too while we're at it#why does she have to have a blazer either? why do the earrings have to be understated#why do the colors have ti be bland and boring? why does he hair have to be a natural color and gender conforming ?#etc etc etc#like if we're accepting all that other shit the ppl upset about this could acknowledge she might experience similar discrimination for say#very obvious goth or punk-y makeup or anything a little too far outside the bounds of the acceptable beauty standard#everyone is pissed about 'eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man' but theyd be saying nothing if she was discriminated for fuckin#big wings and black lipstick bc well thats Obviously not professional standard makeup. okay?#if we change how we look at professional standards of dress and makeup as a whole to include Fucking Freak Bitches#then it would be a lot easier to include No Makeup in there as welllllll#idk#im a no makeup bitch with blue hair whos only ever worked in warehouses so they didnt give too much of a shit about my lack of makeup#or blue hair as long as i didnt show up in like flip flops which is a Reasonable dress code bc its got an actual fucking reason#(safety so you dont lose your goddamn toes to a box or a grate or some shit) vs it makes the office corpo bros sad#anyway idk if you have the privilege to get away with it i think you should dress weirder in the office to get them used to weirder dress#maybe instead of Suddenly going No Makeup sort of slowly lessen the amount so its not a Sudden change or smth#again: if you have the privilege and job security to get away with it#also also also: easier to get away with if you were to say. mask. js. they cant get mad at schrodingers lack of lipstick
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soooo. that new big time rush album huh
#how we feeling today rushers (。•̀ᴗ-)✧#also yes i've come back from the dead just to post abt this like. i owe this blog *this much* at least ykyk#anyway its like 3 in the morning here and ive just woken up after a vv long and exhausting day yesterday so this was a pleasant surprise :>#i haven't really listened to it in full yet bc idk adhd things but when the mood hits right y'all know i'll be VIBING#i never talked abt it but waves and can't get enough were great earworms so i'm excited to see how the rest of the songs will turn out#also hope everyone's doing well here on the btr side of tumblr hehe y'all been absolutely fed this year <3#is this gonna be allen's 2k23 tumblr comeback??? nah prob not i'm too in love with the fooo conspiracy atm but hey maybe also who knows 👀#(*heckler from the back of the audience* NO ONE CARES ABOUT U AND UR TRASH CONTENT IDIOT STFU FOREVER ACTUALLY!!!!!)#but yep. life has been fuck work has been a headache and so many unwanted tragic plot twists this year. but at least we got new btr lezzgo!#also happy pride month y'all!!! just saying this for absolutely no rhyme or reason related to this post at all wdym lmao ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯#okay thats all promise i'll shush now and it's time for old grampa to disappear into the darkest recesses of the internet yet again hejdååå#btr#big time rush#another life#album#stop it forever#lmao i hardly remember my dumbass blog tags;;; it's for the best hdbfkgk
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genuinely considering making easy-to-read pamphlets/posts about some STEM concepts, specifically about genetic engineering (CRISPR), how GMOs actually work, what epigenetics are and/or what popular lab procedures basically do. However. That would be like, incredibly niche and science-y. And this is also basically a fandom blog. And unless they’re fanfic writers trying to write a scientist or something I don’t think people come to tumblr to read this kind of stuff. Maybe… if I make them with anime characters…?
#chia’s life#chia rambles#my dream is to work on idk science divulgative magazines#making easily digestible posters or short books so everyone regardless of their educational background can understand them#because I firmly believe that knowledge is a right and people should learn about things in order to avoid misinformation campaigns#and the rich and powerful cannot take advantage of them not knowing and manipulate us#education is a right but the deck is stacked against parts of the population if they wish to pursue it#be it because of class or racism (or an intersection of both)#and how capitalism forces many to drop out in order to survive / help their families#my grandparents were unable to study despite really wanting to so as a kid I’d share w them everything I learned in school#now that I’m in college I do the same#just. digest the topic and learn how to explain it in a way a 70yo with little knowledge on biology will get it#THATS when you know you understand the subject#everyone deserves to learn#wow okay sorry lol my ideological position jumped out I’m just very passionate about it#it’s actually one of the reasons I loved One Piece#because YES one of the weapons of an authoritarian regime is the control of information available to the general public!!
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Yes I'm making soup in 100 F weather. What about it. Sometimes you remember you got a piece of meat on sale and your potatoes are starting to sprout and you've had mac n cheese 4 times this week and you simply must make soup. Don't be jealous because my house feels like a sauna and I have soup and you don't.
#actually its gonna be another couple hours before its ready which means it will be even warmer in here#no it could not wait for cooler weather i dont think the potatoes and meat would last that long lmao#(i know how freezers work i just want soup okay. thats it no more nuance actually)#why yes i am simply typing my stream of consiousness as it comes to me how did you notice#i should log off tumblr now hmm#my posts
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Yeah sure growing up abused may have left me with permanent scars on my psychological state that I'm still working to unpack, but on the bright side it gave me the ability to give a thoughtful in depth analysis of Roald Dahl's Matilda and all of its adaptations
#rambling#i love matilda so much. its such an important story to me. its literally just an abused childs power fantasy#where she gets to get back at the people who hurt her and protect other kids and then get a new loving family and everything is alright#my gf and i just watched the movie adaptation of the musical and we have Opinions on it. some good and some bad#so weve been discussing it and analyzing different parts of it#and its kinda nice to get to use my history for something good#to be able to give thoughtful analysis on how the changes they made in this adaptation have changed the allegory for abuse in the story#from the perspective of someone who grew up with that#and to just. have that be normal. my gf knows my history and its not gonna stop the conversation if i say#'this change works well for trunchbull's character bc it makes her seem more like a real life abuser'#'this detail is very subtle but it really captures some tiny part of the experience of growing up with an abuser'#'i dont like this bc it detracts from the narrative of the main character feeling alone and makes it less relatable to abused kids'#'i dont like this because while it IS something that happens under abuse it detracts from the fantasy where the kids all win together'#idk. of course everything that happened to me as a kid was awful and should not have happened but like#for a long time i had this problem where i didnt know how i was ever supposed to be okay about that#like no matter how much therapy i go through it will never UN-happen. it will always still have happened and it will always have been awful#and i couldnt figure out how i was supposed to recover from that besides 'bury it and try your hardest to never ever think about it'#and. i think maybe this is it. yes the abuse i went through was awful. thats kind of the whole thing about abuse#but. its also just a fact of my life. im better NOW. but that will not change what happened then#the abuse was awful. but the fact that i am an abuse survivor is a neutral fact. the same as any other fact from my childhood#its just a fact. a part of my past. and maybe being able to talk about it that way is... good for me#i dont have to break down when i think about it bc im okay now. my partner doesnt need to stop me and express sorrow for me bc im okay now#i can talk about my past in a neutral way and use my life experience to analyze movies#the same way that i used my experience of growing up in arkansas to analyze hollywood hillbillies when we watched it together#theyre both just two facts of my life. and analyzing movies is fun#that woman has no power over me anymore and hasnt for many many years. im okay now#abuse mention#child abuse mention#request to tag
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