#now that I’m in college I do the same
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genuinely considering making easy-to-read pamphlets/posts about some STEM concepts, specifically about genetic engineering (CRISPR), how GMOs actually work, what epigenetics are and/or what popular lab procedures basically do. However. That would be like, incredibly niche and science-y. And this is also basically a fandom blog. And unless they’re fanfic writers trying to write a scientist or something I don’t think people come to tumblr to read this kind of stuff. Maybe… if I make them with anime characters…?
#chia’s life#chia rambles#my dream is to work on idk science divulgative magazines#making easily digestible posters or short books so everyone regardless of their educational background can understand them#because I firmly believe that knowledge is a right and people should learn about things in order to avoid misinformation campaigns#and the rich and powerful cannot take advantage of them not knowing and manipulate us#education is a right but the deck is stacked against parts of the population if they wish to pursue it#be it because of class or racism (or an intersection of both)#and how capitalism forces many to drop out in order to survive / help their families#my grandparents were unable to study despite really wanting to so as a kid I’d share w them everything I learned in school#now that I’m in college I do the same#just. digest the topic and learn how to explain it in a way a 70yo with little knowledge on biology will get it#THATS when you know you understand the subject#everyone deserves to learn#wow okay sorry lol my ideological position jumped out I’m just very passionate about it#it’s actually one of the reasons I loved One Piece#because YES one of the weapons of an authoritarian regime is the control of information available to the general public!!
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in my perfect world everyone makes so many lesbian muses the men then have to deal with the exact same behavior when every single post ever written isn’t about dick.
#CLAWS RETRACTED.#[real talk: I’m a lesbian transmasc little enby guy. but my gender? is lesbian. it’s how I explain it. my attraction to women is a part of#my innate gender. that’s just how it is and the two things inform one another. heteronormativity is still so alive and now everyone can put#it under progressive little labels where the character is bisexual but everything that’s focused on for miles is the hetcoded shit. it’s a#cool little thing people do now. it went from when I was a kid and ‘there’s no such thing as bi you’re just confused’ to ‘everyone is bi#because it gives me points but I will never meaningfully observe the queer aspect of that identity and it can make me seem comfortable with#queer identities’. it’s lip service so much of the time. and I never ever ever say you’re only valid if you write bi characters in a#queercoded relationship. bisexuality is forever valid always even if you’ve NEVER been in a queer relationship. but this is writing and#real bisexual people (I’m not even bi I’m literally a lesbian) have experiences irl that make them feel shitty#when they see them boiled down to shallow. a lot in the same way I get upset when I see lesbian relationships brushed off or ignored in#spite of my own excitement toward the ship. MY POINT IS that lesbians are completely ignored by this point and I can say this both irl and#on here because when you live a life that excludes men from your romantic space you’re basically illegal. it drives me fucking insane. the#way anyone can make a fucking whitebread ass man on this site and their inbox will be exploding but you make a lesbian and you have to pad#quietly around because from jump you’re already worried about how people will perceive you and you KNOW they won’t be immediately welcoming.#this is an irl thing in such a big way and I’m a NEW YORKER. but the fact that this exists in the rpc? truly I miss when we just wrote and#enjoyed things and this wasn’t a cesspit of discourse instead of an actual creative community. like. I went to college to study boring#theses that couldn’t keep my attention. I slogged through litcrit theory. do I love it? yes. but some of yall really just wanna be on#debatebro YouTube and not in the actual rpc. it’s wild. everyone’s a philosopher but no one wants to meaningfully engage. and if they do#they want to in either bad faith or basically hardheaded ignorance about an issue. someone’s 2 seconds from rping destiny.#swear to fucking god if I see one person make an asm.ngold joke I will cry.]
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*scratching at the walls thinking about how no one has adapted Peter’s college arcs in a consistent and satisfying way.*
#coffee bean gang#spider-man#I was almost asleep but now I’m thinking about how there isn’t one piece of media out there that checks all the boxes#of adapting Peter in college + the coffee bean gang + doesn’t downsize the group or combine characters#+ does everyone in a decent way even if it’s not strictly comic accurate#raimi trilogy is one of the only ones that heads pretty quickly into the college era and also involves more than just gwen or mj#and as much as I like the films it does not handle the three of them in a way that scratches the itch for me#I mean for one it’s only Peter Harry and MJ. I like those three arguably the most but man the dynamic isn’t the same#especially bc Tobey’s Peter is much more serious and quiet/awkward with negative charisma (affectionately but still.)#MJ is mixed w Gwen’s personality which was disappointing to me bc I like MJ’s weird and super vibrant personality#and Harry loses some of the ‘kind of a sweet guy but very VERY fucked up’ and relies too heavily on Harry becoming the goblin for revenge#I sound super critical of the Raimi versions qhwjrjwkr I DO like them I do but it feels like completely alternate interps of the characters#most focus on spider-man’s origin which I totally get but also. Peter’s most interesting arcs happen in college#that’s why everyone has to adapt them into the high school years#(which they can do bc Peter was largely friendless during that time and was still fighting some truly d-tier guys#in between the forming of the famous spidey rogue gallery)#I mean I wouldn’t even complain if they chose to do the high school years and actually DID those instead of pasting the college arcs on it#I haven’t watch the 90s show but I want to— does Harry exist in that one bc I know they took out Gwen#at the risk of sounding like That kind of tssm fan. the closest we got to that dream was that show#bc they WERE gonna follow it into Peter’s college years and you could see them setting the gang up#it still fell into the ‘everyone is a childhood friend’ thing so the characters could all be there but it’s one of the most bearable ones
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Girl I should not have looked up who Laios’s English va was until after I finished the show because I knew it was familiar and now I’ve discovered that it’s Damien Fucking Haas, FROM FUCKING SMOSH, and now I can’t unhear his stupid fucking voice
#before you ask my roommate in college really liked smosh try not to laughs and now they’re a guilty pleasure of mine#and I do like Damien for the record it’s just now I’m not gonna be able to separate the two bastards#though I will say Laios and Damien do have similar vibes based on the videos and shit I’ve seen Damien in#and it’s not the same with knowing Sungwon Cho voices senshi bc I knew that going in#I got halfway through this fucking anime before learning this shit#anyway#acp says stuff#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon
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really do not agree with some of these takes from the vc fandom concerning the show only fanbase
#at this point y’all#some of it just seems mean spirited#like whyyyy does it matter SO MUCH to some of y’all that newcomers are show only?#why can you not just…be happy the fanbase is growing??#and this is not directed at anyone in particular#I’m just…#i’m over the comments about the show only crowd. i really am.#why do you think they’re unable to grasp the complexity of what they’re watching#and yeah i have legit seen some blogs say this#even critizing them for reading the fanfics but not the books like…can we relax?#is iwtv a college level course with required reading now? lol like???#the show is not the same as the books and it’s perfectly fine for people to engage with one and not the other…#having a different perspective bc you have read the books is absolutely fine but like#having knowledge from the books doesn’t mean that your interpretations and opinions concerning the show are more valid or superior#i have had three more anons in my inbox talking about this and it’s starting to drain me#let! people! enjoy! the show! without requiring some in depth meta knowledge from the book#okay…tag rant over <3#iwtv#vampire chronicles
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Val Is Pretty Sure She Might Be Losing Her Mind, more at 11
#okay so y’all. do you happen to remember Alcott Boy? the guy I had a crush on from school last year (or really the whole time I’ve been in#college honestly) who had Opinions on Little Women#yeah him. anyway I thought I was over my crush on him but GUESS WHAT it’s back and worse than ever#like I only have one class with him that’s once a week but guys guys I feel like I’m LOSING MY MIND like. I’ve never felt the urge to#actually go up to a guy and say ‘hey do you wanna go out with me?’!! like I would never actually do that but the urge is most definitely#there??? and it’s not even that he’s cute (although I mean I think he’s cute) but he’s really really intelligent and funny and very notably#always willing to bring up his faith in class discussions (and this isn’t really the campus for that) and I’ve always admired him for that#(this is also the boy that looked at something I wrote in fiction class and said ‘that’s it that’s what love is supposed to be like!!’ LIKE#) and I genuinely don’t know what to do#like should I be concerned that I feel this strongly so soon after The Boy?? should I be concerned that this might just be limerance???#my roommate has been offering to talk to him for me and ask if he’s single and is it insane that I’m actually considering it???#like if I’m going to now is the ideal time—I’ve already had my class with him this week and spring break is next week#and I’m certain he would never make me feel bad if he didn’t feel the same. but if he did wouldn’t he have said something by now? I don’t#know I don’t know I don’t knooowww#but I graduate in two months and I don’t want to regret it for the rest of my life
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I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.
#blue chatter#am I good at ASL? hahahahahahaha. no.#ASL and English grammar are incredibly different and even when I remember my vocab I am easily clockable as hearing#but I do have some language capacity now. enough to communicate the basics.#and I just. genuinely really enjoy it. it’s fun to learn and engaging in a way most of my classes just aren’t.#and I can. yanno. communicate respectfully w Deaf ppl. and learn about their culture#which is incredibly important given that I want to go into a field where there is a higher incidence than typical of Deaf people#autistic? you’re more likely to be Deaf!#not to mention the fact that sign language can sometimes be a useful alternative to speech for nonspeaking/nonverbal people#depending on the person obvi; some nonspeaking/nonverbal autistics cannot use sign language and that’s okay#but surely at some point I will encounter either a Deaf client or a nonspeaking/nonverbal client who uses ASL#and when that time comes I should have some idea of how to communicate with them#I also rly like the Deaf church by my parents’ house#their community is really welcoming and their services are really interesting#I think it’s rly cool how they take intentions directly from the congregation#they’ll raise their hands and then sign what their intention is from their pew to the ambo#which is rly neat#it is funny bc every time I go the Deaf ppl I talk to will tell each other ‘go slow she’s hearing’#which is ENTIRELY fair bc. I am hearing. and I do need them to go slower.#but it also makes me laugh bc truly everyone knows within a few minutes.#oh hey the new person? they’re hearing. yeah they’re learning ASL at college. sign slowly for her.#which again makes sense bc a big Deaf culture thing is keeping ppl informed. it’s not gossip it’s getting everyone on the same page.#Deaf ppl do NOT beat around the bush that is like the height of rudeness to them. u say what u mean goshdangit. do not waste their time.#which I appreciate the heck out of bc i don’t have to try and phrase things delicately or w/e#it was also funny bc my mom came w me while I was home for Christmas and they asked her if I was her kid#and she said yes. and the lady running the kid’s craft corner thing was like ‘great you’re doing a craft now’#and I’m sitting there. visibly over 18 years old. amongst several seven year olds. trying desperately to figure out how to say hot glue gun#I made a v pretty pinecone tree it was a lot of fun ^-^
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can my history teacher please shut the fuck up i get it’s a college class!! i get that! you don’t need to keep telling me i’m gonna fail!!
#the same thing happened when i took ap world except that teacher ended up actually being really good#this guy just won’t shut up about how i’m gonna be ‘put on academic probation no matter what college i attend’#like okay? your class is only relevant if i’m gonna stay in new york#idk i think that’s how these credits work#i’m so gonna end up nkt okay this year jus preparing y’all now#we got two college history college spanish college physics and the rest of my core claaaes are all honors#and i’m taking two art classes and choir every other day because that’s the only way that fit in my schedule#with no lunch or study hall save for every other day for the latter#and if i do get to eat it’s gonna be at 7 in the morning every other day#yippee!!#i did this to myself i have no right to be bitching#idk i’m not gonna take the deep dive into why i did this to myself#least ill have enough creds to graduate lmfao#also science counts as an elective for me since in ny you only need 3 science creds to graduate and i have all 3#idk why i’m doing this#the outsiders will be my reward#for getting through a month and a half of this shit#i have no right to be complaining that isn’t that hard of a schedule#anyway!#alaska’s bitching#it just bugs me when he says i’m gonna be out on academic probation like yes colleges will see i got a b in college history in my junior#<year and crucify me on campus#totally logical#regents
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“hey so we’re gonna need you to focus up and pay attention and not talk for 3 hours straight. and no you can’t look at your phone or ask brief questions or think out loud and 98% of what will be said won’t apply to you.”
“also i know you have adhd and that you said your adderall wore off but so do i. you just have to learn.”
do you seriously think i am capable of that. what if i blew you up with a cool wizard beam attack? what if the beam was purple.
#this is NOT a threat aimed at anyone specifically AT ALL#i will not commit violence NOR WILL I CONDONE IT#but honestly i’m so fucking TIRED of being told to ‘just pay attention’ and ‘work harder on focusing’#i have a fucking DISORDER WHERE MY BRAIN DOES NOT FUCKING WORK CORRECTLY#well i have adhd too. everyone does.#okay? what type then? you on adderall? how many jobs did you lose because of it?#how many times have you almost had to deal with legal issues because of it? how many times did you almost fail college because of it?#i’m tired of ableism by people that ‘have adhd too’#you know good and goddamn well we aren’t all the same and severity and symptoms differ from person to person#honestly this is about a hobby that i love doing that i’m now considering quitting#i’m not the only victim to the overall ableism BUT#refusal to accommodate and demanding compliance in a space that’s supposed to be accepting#yeah no. i can’t sit for 4 fucking hours off adderal and do nothing#and it’s like i do do something for a cumulative 1 hour of that time#i am seriously considering quitting and it breaks my heart#adhd#ableism#i don’t want to but i also don’t want to deal with ableism everything i do something non neurotypical that people have decided is#‘distracting’#i’m making quiet comments under my breath not to anyone next to or near me#and i’m not really willing to go through the process of trying to explain this shit to ableists who claim having the same disorder makes#our experiences and disability levels the same#i’ve had to fight this shit my whole life. i do this hobby because it’s fun#it’s not fun if you’re gonna tell me to sit and do nothing for 4 hours and get mad when i stop paying attention#or if i ask questions or talk to myself.#i’m so fucking tired of this shit.#my grown adult ass is now at the point where i do whatever the fuck i want forever#and sitting around for 3 cumulative hours is not what i fucking want to do
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it’s funny bc once upon a time i used to be a LITTLE judgy about people who were stoners. like, full day stoned, can’t function without it, etc… obv bc of how i’ve grown up to now being like “ok maybe not all drugs are bad…”
also like, realizing that some of the stuff ppl use are parts of medications used to treat ppl for anxiety and depression and whatnot is just another layer of it.
idk like, education is important. and exposure is important too but obv not at ages when people are young and stupid and consistently do stupid shit with it.
& also like, there are still actual bad drugs out there so, stay smart, kids.
#idk i sorta flip flop depending on the thing but#but at the same time it’s like yolo as long as you’re not hurting yourself or anyone else#you wanna do shrooms every weekend? aye do u#just like idk do it in your house and put on some jams or a cartoon and rot while u do it#i didn’t even smoke in college cus i didn’t like the feeling but i think it was the vibes and the people#but i’m sure i would’ve done stupid fucking shit so i’m glad i wasn’t exposed to anything else until like…. now?#IF THIS NEEDED TRIGGER WARNINGS IM SO SORRY#idk what to do or how to do
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does it ever just break ur heart how scared you’ve been. for no reason
#so sad that I’m leaving college right when I finally feel fully integrated into the community esp in my program#becauseeeee every semester before this I’ve been way too scared to feel connected in the same way I do now#because finally now I feel much more at home in my body (kind of)#bc obvious but ya I so wish I did this all sooner womp womp thats all#borrowing grief from the future ;p
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“what’d you do on your day off” spent an hour and a half essentially rewriting an entire lesson-plan-from-scratch assignment that my brother’s girlfriend already made up so she doesn’t have to stress over her final while her grandpa’s in the hospital (I am such a good friend)
#I’ve done so many of these I think I could do them in my sleep#she’s in grad school at the same college I went to and she’s like HOW TF DO I DO THIS FROM SCRATCH#meanwhile I’m here like welcome to my life#my hands hurt tho#why do I always write on Tuesday?#I have to go vote now huh#my post#not fandom related
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A week’s vacation starts tomorrow. Minus Halloween, of course, because I love working Halloween at the store enough I requested to work it. I’m up to two kids who already are clearly living in their costumes: one in a Sonic Onesie with matching yellow crocs decked in sonic-themed jibbitz, and one Batman with the built-in foam muscles on a maybe…seven year old and five year old respectively? Best part of Halloween for me, honestly, seeing the kids who are going to *be* Spider-Man or whatever until Thanksgiving when their parents finally go TAKE THAT OFF WE HAVE COMPANY COMING.
Got cleared for the Jedi costume as long as I’m bladeless and the saber stays on the belt, so that’s…honestly, easy, but also feels a little weird because it’s like “oh cool what do I do with the time, now?” Like, I debated making a togruta headdress for it but decided not to just in case it’s “scary” for the real little ones.
Car’s still needing to go to the shop because it won’t start and the hood latch is broken, and my sick time from the Week of Mystery Dysentery has come up mysteriously short a hundred bucks from my already not so great paycheck, and car insurance had to be paid.
So it looks like I’m spending a week inside cooking two big meals to make use of the pantry stuff that just got cleared, with MAYBE a third if mom feels like eating chopped liver with me if I make it, and seeing how many paper cranes I can make to contribute to the thousand.
…It’s so weird working so hard to get full time for so many years, and now the benefits are slightly annoying and way less helpful than the guaranteed hours—especially since the home situation is so toxic and I’m trapped, unable to go anywhere.
#bit of a vent post I guess#main plans for the week are to cook and maybe start planting the cranberry beans#the weather’s still a little warmer than I’d like for them but hopefully the purslane’s helped the soil enough.#At least I’ll be home tomorrow to argue why my instruments shouldn’t be thrown out.#I’m just so tired#maybe I’ll wander and do some more intense Pokémon Go than usual#I might see if I can up my output to fifty cranes a day while on vacation.#got ninety bucks to my name until Halloween after bills. so I guess I’ll use it to feed everyone and give myself something to do#this close to taking money out of the savings and buying an electric bike so at least I have more range on my wandering#but that’s a thousand bucks or so and another argument about storage for it I guess#I’m just really tired of not even having a room to myself I guess#here’s to hoping in four months I have at least a place to stay and can empty the storage unit#the big dream at this point is just to have a place to set up my full library for the first time in years#and then be able to deal with the grief of going through everything and deciding what stays and what goes#it’s weird realizing some of those boxes I’ve been unable to open or even look at for a decade#because of yes. loss of a person#but also loss of the idea of the Dream Job I always wanted#and the realization that even if I went back to it now I’d be making about the same amount but would be in debt from college#anyway. on Thursday I get to be a Jedi. I guess. for a day that means I get to be the teacher I always wanted to be.#barring that maybe y’all will like to gaze on my curry
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being in college is really like . they paywalled thinking
#my prof today was lamenting on the loss of coffee shops as a sight of intellectual and community meeting#you know beatnik cafes etc etc .#and i was like so true but at least i get to do it at school!! :)#and then i was like wait . they institutionalized and paywalled thinking .#i should be able to walk into a cafe and do the same shit i’m doing now for free :(#like i’m v proud to be studying things that people fought and are fighting to keep in colleges but could we maybe have both ?? pls
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im so happy for my sibling
#camera talks#irls can ignore probably just cuz but also idk I don’t care#anyways they just got the better job at their farm (now they are the barn manager)#their apartment that came with the job is way bigger#they enjoy what they’re doing#and her gf is moving out here next spring or summer#and she’s awesome#and all this After my parents basically said she’d go nowhere from dropping out of college#I’m so glad she is where she is#it’s amazing like. genuinely brings tears to my eyes cuz yeah that’s my sibling#and I miss living in the same house as them a Lot still#but also her life is going really well rn#and maybe I have something to look forward to as well that’s all I’m saying#anyways I’m so so happy for them (there is more I’m happy for but that’s a hashtag secret :))#and also so happy to go to the faire with them tomorrow#and so happy they accepted me#and augh they’re just really cool okay
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HOW do people survive mentally without school? Like? There’s no multiple classes to focus on?? No assignments? No things to learn presented to me in a variably structured environment???
What do you mean I just go to work? What about discussion questions??? What about readings??? No tests??? No TESTS?!?!?!
#I miss you college I’m sorry I was burnt out by the end but i miss you now that I do not have uou#it just suddenly hit me that if I want to do classes I have to organize them through several different institutions and that I’ll never#again without considerable effort be surrounded by folks who all have had to read or do the same assignment and thus we can then have a 70#minute or longer discussion about the merits of a text??? and it’s FINE to do with one person but like#things don’t get good unless there’s really like 7-8 people in the room who all have different insightsssss#like obviously I can always research my interests on my own but there’s no external benchmarks now and that’s saddddd#like Fine I’ll relearn Latin and Ancient Greek but also like there won’t be any testssssss#and the tests were like the most fun part :(:(:(
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