#and this is not directed at anyone in particular
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I feel like both sides have merits. It is certainly important to try and keep out unnecessary negativity for your own mental health, but at the same time, blocking out everything just leads to an echo chamber. Conversely, letting in unnecessary negativity, that which is petty and unimportant simply makes us more irate and less rational. Unfortunately we as humans tend to see things as black and white more often than not, so we either overcorrect by blocking out everything we disagree with, or letting it all in and giving in to the pettiness and anger.
To clarify, this statement isn't directed at anyone in particular, it's something built in to the human experience. I struggle with it, you struggle with it, everyone struggles with it.
tl;dr, balance is important, and it's possible to do both.
never mind
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Lost Fic #211
1. Hi Iâve been looking for this fic for ages but I can��t for the life of me remember how I found it. It was a short one where angels needed touch and comfort, but heaven wouldnât touch aziraphale because he was âfilthyâ? And he was very touch starved and Crowley eventually found out at the end after centuries with no touch. Hope you have a great day/night! - anon
2. Iâm looking for a fic where aziraphale and Crowley plan to fight against heaven and hell. They place wards in their homes. They also end up having a following of people joining them (threads and social media). Eventually people also direct their prayers to Aziraphale? Crowley also ends up being like his first disciple. - anon
3. Hello. First of all thank you thank you thank you for still running this blog over the years and for being so organized and for all the recs I found through here! Now if you or your followers could maybe help me detect a fic which, it's a little awkward bcs I opened it and skimmed a little but then my phone kinda died for a while so I don't have too many drtails on it (Im so sorry!) But from the little I do remember: Aziraphale and Crowley are expecting a baby and I think Aziraphale is the one pregnant, and he has a dream during which he talks to their kid (who appears in it like a ball of light) and reassures it that he and Crowley are going to take care of everything and not to worry... he calls it a "bright kid" / "incredibly bright" / something similar as a pun in a later conversation with Crowley... I THINK it was multichapter but idr how long or if it was finished or not but if any of it rings a bell to anyone PLEASE PLEASE let me know!!! And thank you again! - anon
4. Hi!! apologies in advance, I don't have many details but i'm looking for a lost fic that was human au with aziraphale as a bookshop owner, where aziraphale and crowley's relationship developed slowly, with mutual attraction/pining. i don't think they ever explicitly confessed feelings to each other but after they kissed their relationship sorta kept developing from there. at the end, i don't remember the reason why, but they ended up having a fight and crowley leaves the bookshop, but then the bookshop catches fire. most of the books are burned but one in particular that was saved in the fire was a book that had pressed/dried flowers that aziraphale kept from the first flowers crowley gifted him (i don't remember if crowley was a flowershop owner in this au or if he just gifted aziraphale a flower bouquet separately). they make up of course and have a happy end. thanks in advance if anyone can find this fic! - @princessmavin
5. Hello!!! I hope you re good! Can you help me find a fic? It was a aziracrow oneshot where they do a lot of snnoging and smut on azi couch and i remember that Crowley had serpentine fangs (and he was venomous) and he bited azi very much It was funny and good, i ll be very very happy if you find It. Thank you!!!! đđđđđđ - anon
If you know any of these fics please include the number in your reply! Thank you :)
- Mod D
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This is probably going to be massively controversial, but I just feel like it needs to be said at this point. I desperately need people to read this very carefully and approach this in good faith. General blanket warning for intersexism, transphobia, and intersectional misogyny with both of these I just wonder how many people in the intersex community just like⌠fundamentally donât understand the way being intersex impacts your gender. I know that sounds fucking wild because obviously being intersex impacts your gender but like⌠it feels like a lot of people reach for comparisons to the binary over just, like, the label intersex itself. The thing on my mind in particular is the stark difference in what transfemininity seems to mean inside and outside the intersex community. This isnât to refer to AMAB and/or CTM intersex transfems, but in particular people who were AFAB and/or CTF.
I want to clarify before I get into the main body of this post that I fully believe people can be AFAB and/or CTF and be transfem. This post isnât to say that this never happens, no one ever experiences the combination of these two* things, or that people who identify this way are wrong for it. I just want to open up a discussion about why people are identifying this way, I guess. Itâs not about invalidating anyone or their experiences, on the contrary, I really want to discuss the varied nature of the intersex experience.
I was AFAB, and I would generally consider myself CTF. I have simple virilizing classic CAH. I experienced many of the events which a lot of people talk about as why they relate to the transfem experience or consider themselves to be transfem. I grew up with a tenuous connection to girl/womanhood at best, I had the locker room harassment, I was widely rumored to be a hermaphrodite and transgender (no one could decide in which direction), I was put into situations specifically to attempt to uncover my ârealâ sex/gender. Even when I was seen as a girl/woman, I was Wrong about it. When I was seen as a boy/man, it was before I had ever come to terms with that identity for myself, and it was instead something thrust on me against my will for being a girl/woman Wrong. I was, for much of my life, locked out of womanhood in various ways.
I can very easily understand why people with experiences such as these would relate to transfemininity (and on a ârelationâ basis, yes, I would say I relate), and perhaps even identify with it based on how these sorts of things impacted them in particular. That being said⌠I have never understood why people think this is somehow not just being intersex. Iâm not trying to say it canât possibly be both, but sometimes it feels like people just refuse to acknowledge that this is a very common experience of the intersection of misogyny and intersexism. There are certainly transmisogynistic elements to it, I think transmisogyny and intersexism are deeply intertwined and always have been, but like⌠to act like this is solely transmisogyny feels like a denial of the intersex experience. For intersex people who were AFAB, are CTF, and/or likely some other types of intersex people depending on their circumstances, this is entirely par for the course because they are intersex. The things I described are, above all else, intersexist in nature. They happen to people for being intersex. There are aspects reminiscent of transmisogyny and perhaps even motivated by transmisogyny in many cases, but this distinct experience that I see many, many intersex people have experienced, it is to me such a classic experience of growing up intersex.
This is to say nothing of the appropriation of the transfem experience (no, Iâm not accusing you or anyone else specifically of doing this, if it doesnât apply to you, it doesnât apply to you, but yes some people are objectively doing this). I am not focused on that. It is its own separate issue, but the thing I am trying to communicate here is why people struggle to find themselves in the word intersex when the thing that caused them these traumas is being intersex. The denial of intersexness and intersexism as explanations for the experiences directly caused by being intersex. The need to use terms broadly conceived of within perisex communities to describe perisex experiences of sex and gender to describe experiences inherently outside of the perisex view. To me, it seems like there is a very clear difference between using intersex transfem to describe âI have Klinefelter and also I am a trans womanâ and âdue to my experiences with PCOS, my relationship with femininity is deeply complicated and I use transfem as a sort of code for reclaiming my womanhood that I feel has been denied to me.â And like. I am not saying that these couldnât possibly both be transfem experiences! I am not the decider of what makes people transfem, and itâs not really my business at the end of the day, but these are still just like, objectively different concepts being described. This is what I meant at the beginning of the post by the inside-outside usage of the term. It feels like transfem, in intersex spaces, is often used as a shorthand to describe a specific relationship to femininity and womanhood and this relationship is not necessarily âtransitioning to femininity.â At the same time, it feels like it is being used this way because in some way, perhaps, the community is lacking in language that adequately communicates âmy being intersex locked me out of womanhood, even though womanhood is what I was assigned and expected to conform toâ which is, to me, a fundamental difference between most (not all, Iâm aware we cannot ever make absolute statements when it comes to intersex experiences) AFAB/CTF and AMAB/CTM transfem experiences.
To me, I feel that intersex does adequately express these sentiments. Or, at least, it can if you let it. Intersex people pretty much inherently experience a complicated relationship to their sex and gender, and I wish we were allowed to talk about this without there being an obligatory comparison of how every intersex experience is always analogous to some equivalent transgender experience. Intersexism is intersexism, and intersex people experience it because we are intersex, and maybe we should fucking talk about that sometimes.
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Pretty Boy - Ch 5 (Buddie x Reader)
Summary:Â You can feel Buck staring. When your eyes meet his, you realize heâs staring at your hand, which is still on Eddieâs knee. You slowly retreat, which makes Buck turn his attention to your face. You smile softly. He just looks out the window. The one where youâre an advanced paramedic, Buck and Eddie are firefighters, and you think you might be in love with both of them.
Ch 1Â |Â Ch 2Â |Â Ch 3 | Ch 4
A/N: Me? Desperate for validation? It's more likely than you think Word Count: 3.8k Warnings: none
You make your way through more of the rubble, taking frequent breaks in an attempt to conserve your energy. Itâs probably been less than an hour, but it feels like youâve been trapped for days. You used most of your effort to free Russ, which proved futile, so now youâre simply exhausted.
At some point, you see a glimpse of light between two pieces of crumbled concrete. Using the blunt side of your axe, you begin chipping away at the space. More light begins to break through. The sight causes you to catch your second wind, and you begin swinging harder. Eventually, you make a hole big enough for you to crawl through.
You climb over some of the bigger pieces of the fallen structure and slip between others. You sneak between a few vehicles. You keep walking, though you arenât sure what youâre looking for. Something in you gut is pulling you in this direction, and you have nothing else to go off of, so youâre going with it.
You hear a cough.
Your head snaps in the direction of the sound. You start moving so quickly that you stumble a little and have to slow yourself down so you donât break an ankle. You shine your flashlight to the side. It lands on a little girl. She squints her eyes and lifts a hand to block out the brightness.
âKat?â You ask.
She nods.
You laugh. You laugh with joy. You laugh with relief. You laugh until a few tears spring into your eyes. You cut yourself offâno way are you breaking down in front her. Youâve both come this far, and youâre going to see each other to the end. If youâre saving anyone today, itâs her.
You reach into the inner pocket of your jacket, eternally grateful that you took on the added weight. âYou looking for this?â
Itâs her shoe.
Kat smiles and nods again.
Katâs tired, and so are you, but you carry her on your back anyway. You swear that, in the distance, you hear a car alarm, so thatâs the direction you head in.
âWhat if we canât get out?â Kat asks quietly.
âWhat? Hey, come on, donât start talking like that now,â you gently scold. âWeâve already made it through the hard part!â
âI guessâŚâ She says, unsure.
You hear the shifting of rubble, but only a little. You think you might hear voices, too. You take off in that direction.
Concrete shifts, and you see more lightâa lot of light. Like, your headlamp times ten. You scramble towards it, ducking a little so as to not hurt Kat.
As the dust settles, you can make out at least ten firefighters standing around the scene. You canât help but smile.
âHello fellas,â You say, taking a few more steps forward.
A firefighter from a different crew helps Kat off of you. Your attention immediately focuses on two particular firefighters in front of you, both of which have â118â on their caps.
âWelcome back,â Buck greets with a grin.
You laugh and stumble forward right into his arms. Once again, you find yourself holding back tears. You feel someone pat your back and leave his hand there, and you donât have to look to know itâs Eddie.
You make it back to the triage area, Kat walking in front of you. The moment she sees her parents, she takes off running. On instinct, you jog behind her, but when you see her collapse into her parentsâ arms, you stop and simply watch.
They look over at you and nod. You smile and nod back.
Hen insists on looking you over, testing everything from your range of motion to your vision. Even you surprise yourself a little when you pass with flying colors. Hen steals a quick hug before she gets back to work. You just sit there, dumbfounded. Youâre exhausted, but youâre okay. Youâre alive.
âHey you,â Buck says, taking a seat next to you.
Somehow, thatâs all it takes for the floodgates to break open.
âWoah, hey, come here,â Buck wraps an arm around your shoulders.
You wrap an arm around his waist and lean your head on his shoulder. You breathe out a few sobs but slowly quiet yourself. You can feel Buckâs lips pressed to the top of your head. You sit up straight, wiping your eyes. Buck keeps his arm around you.
âSorry,â you whisper, shaking your head a little. âJust⌠rough day.â
âRuss?â Buck asks quietly.
You smile sadly and nod, a few more tears escaping in the process. âYou know he wasnât even scheduled to work? He just heard about everything and wanted to help. And now heâs dead. Because I couldnât save him.â
âBut you were there for him,â Buck points out, rubbing his hand up and down your arm. âEven if you couldnât save him, you were there for him. He didnât die alone. You did that.â
âYeah, I guess. It just doesnât feel like enough, you know?â
âYeah, I know.â
You clear your throat a little. âWhen I was alone and thought you guys might not find me, I made recordings. I wanted the people I love to hear from me one last time. Can you guess how many I made?â
Buck just watches you. His expression is a mix of intrigue and sympathy.
âFive,â you answer, even though he doesnât ask. âI made five recordings, one for each of you. Thatâs it.â
âWhat about your parents? Siblings?â
âMy mom died when she gave birth to me,â you answer. âMy dad fell into a bottle. I havenât spoken to him since I moved away from home seven years ago. People tell me he changed after she died, but⌠thatâs the only way I know him. It makes me feel like I got cheated out of both my parents instead of just one.â
The two of you sit in silence. Itâs broken when you laugh.
âI donât know why the hell Iâm telling you all of this,â you chuckle as more tears form. âI guess I just need someone to know that⌠this job is quite literally my entire life. Itâs my passion, my work, my home, and my family. Most of the time, I feel lucky. On days like today, though, it just⌠scares the hell out of me. Because Iâm either gonna die doing what I love, or doing what I love will kill me. I donât know which oneâs worse.â
âI get that feeling,â Buck agrees softly. âI canât think of anything else Iâd rather do. I canât think of anyone else Iâd rather do it with, either.â
Once you all returned to the station, you hopped in the shower. When you got out, Buck was waiting for you in the locker room. He insisted on driving you home, making sure you were okay. When he told you, you rolled your eyes, but your heart swelled. The last thing you want to do is navigate LA traffic, so you accept his offer.
When you both started to leave, you noticed Eddie was making phone calls and texts. You learned that he was trying to find a ride to Christopherâs school; he hasnât had the chance to buy a vehicle yet.
âAre you sure youâre okay with this?â Eddie asks again as you all get to the parking lot.
âJust get in the damn car, Eddie,â you say.
The ride is a little tense. Eddie touched base with some of the school staff, so he knows Christopher is okay, but it isnât the same as seeing it for himself. He taps his phone against the car windowsill. You insisted on sitting in the back, and for good reason: you can already feel yourself dozing off.
Buck pulls over, and you look up to see youâve arrived at the school. Almost before the car is in âparkâ, Eddie flings open the door and runs up the stairs. Christopher is standing in the front hall, a staff member off to the side. Eddie picks him up in a hug, spinning him around.
âTheyâre really cute,â you mutter, mostly to yourself.
Buck is too busy watching them to even register what you said.
Eddie thanks the staff member before opening the door for Chris. The two make their way back to the car, Christopher a little bit in front of Eddie. For a kid with crutches, he moves quickly; the poor kid is probably ready to go home.
Eddie opens the side door for his son, setting the crutches on the floor. With his fatherâs help, Christopher joins you in the backseat.
âChris, these are my friends,â Eddie says, pointing at you and Buck as he introduces you both.
âItâs nice to meet you, Chris,â you smile.
âMy dad talks about you. A lot,â Christopher says.
You giggle in surprise. âDoes he, now?â
Even in the dark, you can see Eddieâs face get red. ââYouâ as in the 118,â he clarifies.
Buck shakes his head and laughs softly as he pulls away from the curb.
This might be the dumbest call youâve ever been to, and thatâs saying something.
A bunch of women decided to get drunk at 11:30 in the morning, and as a fun drunk activity, one of them stuck her head in a tailpipe. The only problem is she couldnât get it out, so now itâs the LAFDâs problem. Medically, sheâs clear, so you and Hen stand back and let the boys do their thing. Unfortunately, the drunk girl has drunk friends and said drunk friends are relentlessly hitting on Eddie and Buck.
âWhat are you so tense for?â Hen asks.
âIâm not.â
You both know itâs a lie. Until she said it, though, you didnât realize that your jaw was clenched and your brow furrowed. You roll your shoulders and turn your neck a few times, hoping it relaxes your muscles.
The women are bothering you. And itâs really stupid and childish, especially considering that neither Buck nor Eddie is your boyfriend. Theyâre just your coworkers, so you have literally no right to get upset that women besides yourself find them attractive.
âI uh, I donât think Iâm what youâre looking for,â Eddie politely rejects one of them. âI have a son.â
âIâm gonna puke!â The woman says from inside the tailpipe.
âYou better not!â One of her friends shouts. âThese fire guys are totally hot.â
You can feel your jaw start to tense again.
After getting the woman free from the tailpipe, you all begin to make your way back to the engine. Buck and Eddie are a few steps in front of you. Theyâre trying to be discrete, but you make out every word.
âHey, so is your son really the reason you donât date?â Buck asks.
âThat, and.. They werenât my type,â Eddie shrugs.
âIâm talking in general,â Buck continues.
âItâs complicated when you have a kid.â
âCome on, thatâs a weak excuse.â
The conversation is cut short when Eddie gets a phone call. He takes a few steps away while you and Buck linger behind. You donât have to hear anything to see Eddieâs body language change. Buck sends you a knowing glance.
Itâs about Christopher.
Itâs always weird going past the ER of a hospital. It feels like youâre in forbidden territory, like youâve stepped outside your bounds. The nice thing about having few family members is you barely have to cross the picket line.
You, Buck, and Eddie get off the elevator. Eddie is a few steps ahead and quickly sees his aunt in a nearby waiting area. They chat a little, and you can see that Christopher is standing near a few nurses, completely eating up the attention. It makes you smile.
Eddieâs aunt explains that itâs his grandmother whoâs in the hospitalâbroken hip. When she was watching Christopher and called him inside, she slipped on a porch step. Christopher had to call 911.
âWhoâs this with you?â His aunt asks, turning her attention to you and Buck.
âWe work together,â Eddie explains after saying your names.
âMmm, I thought you just dressed alike.â
âThis is my Aunt JosefinaâPepa,â Eddie introduces.
âHi,â you both say politely.
Pepa begins to lecture Eddie about leaving Christopher with his grandmother. You can tell Eddie feels bad, but you can also tell he has no other options. He dismisses himself from the conversation by meeting up with Christopher.
âMust be rough,â Buck remarks.
âRaising any child alone is rough,â Pepa agrees.
âEddieâs a saint,â You praise.
Pepa smiles. Itâs bittersweet. âI pray for him anyway.â
Christopher ends up spending some time at the station, and itâs one of the best shifts youâve had in a long time. Eddieâs aunt was busy working when his shift started, and with his grandmother still in the hospital, he truly had nowhere else to take him. It was either bringing his son to work or calling in from work to watch his son. Eddie chose the former.
Youâre able to take him on a simple MVC call with no suspected injuries. As you all work to free the drivers and passengers, Bobby explains everything to Christopher. Heâs standing on the ground while Christopher stands on part of the firetruck, holding one of the rails for stability. Bobby has an arm around him for the same reason.
When you get back to the station, you make him a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. He approves. Then, Chim swoops in and teaches him how to play pinball. At some point, all of you are standing around the firepole, helping Christopher slide down it.
Pepa shows up, and the fun is over. Before Eddie walks them out, he pulls Cap into a hug. You and Buck look at each other and smile.
âThis was a really nice idea, Buck.â
âEh, I figured we could all use a little stress relief,â Buck shrugs.
âWell, clearly Eddie appreciates it. I guess it really does take a village.â
Buck nods in response and begins to walk away.
âIâm thinking of going to nursing school,â you blurt out.
He turns back to face you. âWhat?â
You clear your throat. This wasnât how you planned on telling him, just springing it on him in a random conversation. You knew that if you didnât say something soon, he would hear it from someone else first. You definitely didnât want that.
âYou remember that conversation we had at breakfast a few weeks ago? You know, the one about what weâd be doing if we didnât work at the 118?â
âYou wanna be a nurse?â Buck frowns. âI mean, nurses are great; Maddieâs a nurse. Or, well, she was. You just⌠donât seem the type.â
âUh, yeah, Iâve kind of always been interested in flight nursing. You know, like, going up in a helicopter, responding to scene calls, that sort of thing,â you explain as you wring your hands.
âSo that means you wouldnât work here anymore.â
âThatâs⌠a long ways down the line. Like, at least 18 months, probably closer to 2 years. Bobby said I could always stay on casually, pick up shifts whenever I want.â
âYou already talked to Bobby,â Buck rubs his neck. âYou must be pretty serious about this, then.â
âI guess,â you shrug. Youâre trying to sound casual, but the thumping of your heart in your chest doesnât cease.
Buck smiles. The expression doesnât meet his eyes. âI hope everything works out the way you want it to.â
This time, he walks away for good, leaving you with a bitter taste on your tongue.
The 118 is called to a helicopter crash site. The pilot tried to make an emergency landing in a park football field but landed in the bleachers instead. After Buck pulls one of the victims from the scene, you do an assessment and quickly realize that, by some miracle, sheâs completely fine.
Buck makes his way over to the two of you. âHey, do me a favor and say âAnd on the 405, speeds are under five miles an hour, making your morning commute a rough one.â"
You look over at him with a raised eyebrow. âSeriously?â
âI-I know that voice. It's, uh, it's Taylor Kelly reporting, right? Skywitness News Eight,â Buck says, pointing back to the helicopter.
âThatâs me,â Taylor says with a soft chuckle.
âWow. Um, it's weird to hear that voice come out of a face.â
Taylor laughs again. âThank you?â
Theyâre flirting. You clench your teeth together so hard you think your jaw might pop. You start randomly tossing supplies back into your bag, zip it up, and hop back into the rig before you can hear the end of the conversation.
The next time you see Taylor, sheâs at the station. She doesnât come alone, eitherâa man holding a television camera is a few steps behind her.
The first one to approach her is Buck, of course. Then Eddie, Chim, Hen, and finally, Bobby. You watch everything happen from the loft; thereâs no way youâll willingly engage in whatever conversation theyâre having.
Bobby makes his way up the stairs.
âWhatâs all that about?â You ask as he walks by.
âMs. Kelly wants to do a story on the 118,â Bobby says.
You frown. âIs she even allowed to film in here?â
âThe chiefâs office is on hold. Something tells me that weâll be seeing quite a bit of her and her cameraman the next few days.â
Bobbyâs already gone, but you still roll your eyes.
Taylor manages to track down everyone and get an interview: everyone except you and Captain Nash. She follows along on a few calls, on which you can mostly ignore her. It's much harder to ignore her when she corners you in the loft.
Youâre eating breakfast alone at the kitchen island when Taylor bombards you, her cameraman beside her like always. She gives you a massive grin, and something about how it looks makes you nauseous.
âCan we have a few minutes with you?â She asks, still smiling.
âNo,â you respond simply.
â...No?â
âNo,â you repeat, taking a sip of your coffee. Itâs cold.
âLook, I know this is probably a little awkward and uncomfortable-â
âItâs not,â you interrupt as you stand. âI just donât want to talk to you.â
You head towards the coffee pot to warm your cup. You refill it and take a sip as you lean against the counter. Taylor just stares at you.
âI want you to know I only have one goal here: to tell a story. Your story,â Taylor says, forcing the smile back on her face.
âOh, really?â You ask, setting your coffee on the counter behind you. You push off of the counter so you can approach Taylor. âAnd uh, how much money do you think you can make telling my story?â
âExcuse me?â
âThatâs what this about, right?â you challenge. âYou have a chance to change the trajectory of your career. You can go from the girl who talks about traffic to the woman who sheds a light on the unsung heroes. Youâd be stupid not to jump on that opportunity.â
Taylor looks at you. âI suppose.â
âAnd I would be stupid if I actually believed you have good intentions,â you continue, âbecause you donât give a damn about us. You donât care about the 118 or what we do everydayâyou care about yourself. So no, I donât have a minute and I donât want to talk to you.â
âYou missed the show.â
You open your locker with a huff. You shrug as you pick up your shoes. âBummer.â
âYou were barely in it,â Buck continues. âSomething tells me that wasnât exactly an accident.â
You take a seat on the bench so you can change your shoes. âWhat makes you say that?â
The only sound in the room is you kicking off your boots and slipping into your converse. You begin tying the laces, then pause.
You look over your shoulder at Buck. âYou talked to her, didnât you?â
Buck looks everywhere but your face.
âYou know what I said to her,â you say. It isnât even a question: you can tell by how heâs acting.
âI just donât understand why you were so rude to her.â
âOh my god, seriously, Buck?!â you say, standing up to face him. âHer?!â
He crosses his arms. âWhat does that mean?â
You scoff and shake your head. âIt means you havenât changed at all.â
âWhat?â
You pick up your boots and toss them in your locker, which you slam shut. âYou heard me.â
âThatâs not fair,â he argues, moving his hands to his pockets.
âItâs not?â You ask, cocking your head. âIâm pretty sure a few months ago, you were sleeping with whatever woman fell for the whole âheroâ act. So how exactly have you changed?â
âWhy are you so pissed at me?â Buck asks defensively. âI mean, itâs not like you care enough to stick around.â
Your heart drops into your stomach. âHow dare you throw that in my face.â
âAm I wrong?â
âYouâre wrong,â you confirm, stepping towards him. âNot that itâs any of your goddamn business, but I havenât even applied to anything.â
âIf itâs not my business, then whyâd you make it my business?â Buck provokes. âWhyâd you even tell me?â
âBecause I thought you were my friend!â you shout. âI thought you would be happy for me!â
âBe happy that you want to leave?â
âBe happy that I want more for myself!â
âWell, Iâm not happy,â Buck says, crossing his arms again. âYou say that weâre your family, and then a few weeks later, youâre talking about other jobs. I mean, was that just a bunch of bullshit?â
You scoff again, and this time, angry tears fill your eyes. âFuck you, Evan.â
âYeah, whatever,â he says, turning to the door.
There are a million things you want to say. But then, you remember: youâve already said them.
You reach into your pocket and come back with your phone. As Buck walks away, you hit the âplayâ button on a recording you never wanted to listen to.
'Pretty Boy,' your voice in the recording crackles.
Buck stops and turns around.
'Evan Buckley⌠where do I even start with you? Iâm not gonna lie: I really didnât like you when we first met. And thatâs funny, because now, youâre probably one of the most important people in my life. You definitely proved me wrong, man: you were good. You are good. And you have to keep being good, okay? I might not be there to see it anymore, but you should still do it. Do it for the both of us, will ya?'
You hit the âpauseâ button and stuff your phone back into your pocket.
âYou can be pissed at me all you want, but donât you ever say that I donât care about this job,â you whisper as you walk towards him. You poke a finger into his chest. âDonât ever say that I donât care about you.â
âI-â
Your shoulder slams into his as you walk out.
#911 abc#evan buckley#evan buckley x reader#911 show#911 on abc#911 reader insert#evan buckley/reader#eddie diaz x reader#eddie diaz#evan buckley x eddie diaz x reader#Buddie x reader#buddie x reader#i can write
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Arcane is over (đ) and I have some criticisms so here are my lists of who Won and who Lost in no particular order
LOST SEASON 2
1. Isha
Literally wasn't even mentioned after she died, like wtf was that
We couldn't have a memorial or anything? Come on
Her sacrifice was ultimately meaningless because Warwick got brought back anyway
2. Sevika
Didn't get a single line through all of Act 3
Where is my wife
At least she didn't die?
3. The entire Undercity, to be honest
Where did the independence thread go
Giving Sevika a council seat wasn't enough
I don't like that so many of them had to fight in Enforcer uniforms, that felt wrong
That was the MAIN CONFLICT for most of the show. It felt so weird to gloss over it at the end
4. Vander/Warwick
Gonna be real I wasn't super crazy about most of his presence here, I don't feel like it actually contributed much to anyone's development, except MAYBE Viktor's
We would not have lost anything if they didn't have the flashback scene with their mom
Super didn't like Jinx's ending as it pertained to him
5. Jinx
Hey I super don't like that every character who had a moment of suicide ideation or attempt ended up dead or "dead"
I don't like the way she "died" it didn't feel earned
I don't feel like the ending she got aligned well with her character at all. She spiraled and then just. stayed at the bottom of the spiral :(
They put a TON of family stuff in act 1 and 2 that didn't get resolution in 3
I think they kinda did my girl dirty I'm sorry
6. Loris
Clearly would have had more of a role if they didn't have to cut him for time
NEITHER WON NOR LOST SEASON 2
1. Vi
I want to say she won because she got to bang her cop girlfriend in a prison cell and the sex scene was good as hell but
She also was just taking massive L's the whole time
Like it never felt like she ever had any real wins other than that and that bummed me out
Didn't get enough time to be a dumbfuck with Jayce :(
Caitlyn
Didn't get enough proper resolution for her wonderful fascist arc
She felt a little dropped in Act 3 as well
Glad she got that Vussy tho, good for her
And I did like the vs Ambessa fight, that was also good
I honestly feel like Viktor and Jayce's romance was written better than her and Vi's, and as a gay woman who is constantly watching mlm relationships get so much more attention, it rubs me the wrong way
WON SEASON 2
1. Viktor (OBVIOUSLY)
The fucked up robot army. The religious imagery. The body horror. His robot alien design is scary as fuck. Absolutely incredible work
Got to be taller and stronger than Jayce hooray
They're canon. That was the gayest shit I've ever seen in my life
I do wish they had spent more time overall fleshing out more of the disability commentary, I feel like it was a little lacking in the end
Nevertheless BEAUTIFUL and HORRIFYING and TRAGIC
2. Jayce
See above
Yeah he also got to be a big hero and got to be resolved really well
Did NOT see his death coming that was crazy
They Magnus 200'd his ass, damn
He chose Viktor over everything I'm emo
They made a heart when they touched their foreheads together fuck OFF
3. Heimerdinger
Literally just living his best life
Love that he didn't tell Ekko he can't die, he just let the poor boy think he got fuckin atomized, king shit, that's hilarious
I would have stayed in that universe too tbh
4. Ambessa
The single tear over Kino. Her love for her children at direct odds with her need for control. Her arc was explored so well
Died a warrior's death at the hands of her brilliant daughter, I know that's how she would have wanted to go
Also was very hot in every scene. Good for her (and good for me)
She just got a lot of love from the writers and I'm very happy to see that effort put into an older Black woman character
5. Mel
Speaking of gorgeous Black women
I was so worried she was going to get dropped but her ending was SO good
Her glow up with the gold is fantastic, she looks amazing in the white hood
Love that they gave her abilities that would inherently change her priorities AND gave her the throne of Noxus, I have high hopes that she'll be prominent in another show in the future
They made her such a powerful badass but still let her be merciful and forgiving. Absolutely amazing. She is the wolf
6. Ekko (?)
On the fence about him
LOVED the au scene. Perfect
And I loved that our boy savior got to be the one that set off the bomb that stopped Viktor
But he was kind of dropped otherwise? Like what happened with his tree?
Generally wish he had more development and screentime in this season
But I'm happy he was so pivotal to the climax
AND I'm happy he got to kiss Powder. He and Jinx would never have worked out
7. Maddie
Haha I never liked you. Get fucked you horrible little bootlicker. Typical cop
8. Singed
How come YOU get everything you want?
Fuck you.
Basically all my criticisms boil down to it feeling rushed overall. It's clear that they intended to have more time, and that breaks my heart. We all know Netflix's reputation for cancelling stuff out of the blue, and I've heard that maybe certain parties were unhappy with the depictions of gay romance and realistic social revolution. Whatever the reasons, I wish they had a third season, because I think they could have solved every problem I have with it. Regardless, it's an incredible work of art and very likely one of if not THE best animated series ever made.
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really do not agree with some of these takes from the vc fandom concerning the show only fanbase
#at this point yâall#some of it just seems mean spirited#like whyyyy does it matter SO MUCH to some of yâall that newcomers are show only?#why can you not justâŚbe happy the fanbase is growing??#and this is not directed at anyone in particular#Iâm justâŚ#iâm over the comments about the show only crowd. i really am.#why do you think theyâre unable to grasp the complexity of what theyâre watching#and yeah i have legit seen some blogs say this#even critizing them for reading the fanfics but not the books likeâŚcan we relax?#is iwtv a college level course with required reading now? lol like???#the show is not the same as the books and itâs perfectly fine for people to engage with one and not the otherâŚ#having a different perspective bc you have read the books is absolutely fine but like#having knowledge from the books doesnât mean that your interpretations and opinions concerning the show are more valid or superior#i have had three more anons in my inbox talking about this and itâs starting to drain me#let! people! enjoy! the show! without requiring some in depth meta knowledge from the book#okayâŚtag rant over <3#iwtv#vampire chronicles
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re. ostark: for the record, none of us actually know that oliver is straight. and we don't know that he's not straight either, because he hasn't chosen to share that information with us. actors shouldn't be required to disclose their identity to portray a queer character, especially if they've done so with the respect and care that oliver has publicly given the queer community from the second that he picked up the script to 7x04. he's wanted his character to be bisexual for years, so much so that he was willing to do it himself if it never made its way into the script. he endured years of queerbaiting allegations from fans while they were on fox all while knowing that the network blocked the thing he wanted so badly for his character. he's called out homophobes and biphobes on multiple occasions, and he made it a point to emphasize the importance of hen and karen's happy, loving black lesbian love story after the homophobic backlash the show endured during season 7. he's proven himself over and over again to be a genuine ally at the very least, and not a single thing he's said tonight about buck is biphobic. leave him alone. let him be.
#not directed at anyone in particular but all the posts calling him biphobic are REALLY getting on my nerves.#rae.txt
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I think the two most obvious foils for Ludinus Da'leth across all of Critical Role are Essek and Keyleth, which is both fascinating given how different those two characters are from each other (Essek being a foil in terms of isolation, single-mindedness, harm in the name of ambition, knowledge, and other such wizard themes; Keyleth being a foil in terms of people who have lost something at a young age to the gods and bear resentment for it, political leadership, belief that the world belongs to mortalkind, and longevity) but also it's extremely funny that they both are the partners of Liam's character.
#i could write like a longer piece about it but that kind of sums it up#like. hm. how do i put it.#the thing about essek is like. he like ludinus made some IMMENSELY selfish and harmful choices#but the timeline was SHORT all things considered. ludinus didn't REALLY get going until hundreds of years post-calamity#and he expresses NO regret whereas the vibe with essek in 2x97 is that he's kind of hated himself ever since#and you know. maybe if someone had intervened with ludinus 400 years earlier he'd have done the same. but who would. does he have friends.#the thing about essek haters who aren't just angry shippers is that they all ascribe to ontological evil and yet don't ascribe it to ludinu#meanwhile keyleth is just like...the scope of her pain is somehow both smaller and larger#and yet she's able to see herself as part of a whole and not the center of the world#the fact that power and long life was much more naturally given or earned by her rather than seized is also i think part of it#but keyleth's speech this past episode in particular...it's a direct rebuttal of ludinus's dumb speech in 51#this can be your world without having to kill anyone if you're willing to work and grow and compromise and grieve#cr spoilers#critical role#ludinus da'leth#essek thelyss#keyleth
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I do think at some point in the not too distant future, the 911 fandom, at least on Tumblr, is going to have to reckon with the fact that despite M!slash being the main driving force of the fandom, gay men like myself are in the vast minority (I think a recent poll put us at something like 6% but it didnât separate bisexuals by gender so itâs hard to say how many mlm are actually in the fandom) and in the same way being a gay man doesnât exempt him from being incidentally or purposefully misogynistic, being some other flavor of the rainbow doesnât prevent someone from perpetuating homophobia against men who love men.
At some point the jokes about how Tommy is just here for dick or should just get dick and move on (when heâs already made it very clear that he wants a relationship with Buck) are going to start to sound like hypersexual stereotypes of gay men. At some point the constant push to get them to break up as soon as possible and for Tommy to die or get shipped off to Arizona or wherever is going to seem less like regular ship hate and more like wanting a gay male character to be punished for daring to seek a relationship with a man in the first place. We obviously arenât there yet but I do think we should be aware that it is fast approaching.
#this isnât even directed at anyone in particular but a post got on my nerves#and it was yet another one invalidating Buck and Tommy because they werenât friends before they dated#which is like⌠you know how most people date nowadays?#like I WISH any of the friends I have IRL were interested in men because there are several of them I would date and YET#here I am on fucking Tinder#but ANYWAY#a nerve was touched sorry
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i think a few people in the postal fandom might need a reminder
(text taken from here, if anyone's wondering)
#postal#postal dude#postal 1997#maka mumbles#this isn't directed at anyone in particular but every now and then i'll see a post#and i'll wonder if some of you guys like.. forgot that he's literally killed people
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This one's definitely going on the "words to some day find an excuse to use in a sentence" list.
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(I didnt realize until after drawing this that the pronouns dont even matter because its the same situation regardless lol)
#this is NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE IN PARTICULAR i do not want to get into drama this is just my feelings....#and it is also not saying im better than anyone else#this is just a niche character design thing that bothers me
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was your goal this round to get jimmy and cary out bc as a philadelphia story truther this is my joker origin story
i swear that was not the goal but oh no oops what's this doing here
This is a poll on the charactersânot the actors! If you haven't watched The Philadelphia Story, what are you doing here
#tw on the philadelphia story...there's a period racial slur (not directed at anyone in particular but still there) and a shove.#i think that's it? but go forward with caution if you have tws. I love you <3#minis#silly times#hotvintagepoll#the philadelphia story#asks
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If you're censoring the words pedophilia, rape, incest and other words because Purity Culture(tm) has taught you these are Taboo Words(tm) that are so horrific you can't even type them on your own keyboard ... please stop and consider that the people who genuinely need those things blacklisted for trigger reasons can't actually blacklist them if you keep making up new ways to tag them.
If you are censoring these words for your own personal comfort with using the words you are not helping anyone.
And if you can't even say the words, you definitely don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to arguing the validity of artists and authors using them as themes in fictional settings.
#proship safe#proshippers please interact#is this based on something I saw? yes.#but it's not directed at anyone in particular. it's just a blanket statement.#ambers.txt#edit: fixed a typo and rephrased part of it - sorry about that
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gentle and friendly reminder that tag/content blacklists and the block feature are valuable and useful tools for, say, not seeing content of stuff you don't like.
See a ship or media you just don't want to see more of? put it on the blacklist. someone making content you don't like and not tagging it to appear on blacklists? block them.
I promise you this will make you experience better rather than fuming about seeing it in the first place. even if it's smth you think is abhorred, just blacklist a tag or block the person and move on. No matter how many times you rage and talk about it, people are gonna keep making that stuff you don't like; save your energy and your mental wellbeing and just. blacklist and block.
(note: this is talking about fandom stuff, like ships or fandoms or hell even aus or character interpretations. people are here to have fun and it's all fictional, don't waste your energy and mind on things that aren't even real to begin with, I promise you'll feel better)
#not really directed towards anyone in particular but.#I'm getting tired of people going off the rails about seeing particular ships like just block and blacklist guys nobody's getting hurt
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men who make you a tiny bit afraid for your life but you also know they would never hurt you unless you wanted them to are genuinely so hot. like, yeah you could quite literally pick me up and throw me out of a ten-story window with very little issue, but you wouldn't.
God, that shit is so hot, like PLEASEEEE
#colten yaps#bonus points if they have tattoos and smoke weed#EXTRA bonus points if they're as kinky as you#ftm nsft#ftm t4t#trans nsft#t4t nsft#ftm bunny#ftm sub#ftm bottom#nsft ftm#cnc free use#i swear this definitely is not directed at anyone in particular i swear
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