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littlegaybean1 · 12 days ago

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Another Life is actually driving me insane.

It's been FOUR DAYS since I watched it and every time I think about it (so like, every half an hour) I think of more things that make it such an incredible episode!!!

Firstly it's Buck in a coma. Obviously I'm going to love it. He's almost dead! He was dead, for three minutes and seventeen seconds at least. Therefore, naturally, this episode automatically became one of my favourites.

Then there's the tiny morsels of Buddie content. It's not prevalent here, which I actually like because it focuses on another relationship that I've also been waiting for for so long. However, in his approximately two minutes of screen time, Eddie does manage to give me just enough content for my ship obsessed mind to work with. I mean, come on. Responding with "Do more!" to "we'll do our best" is absolutely going to make me go slightly feral. He has about four lines and that's one of them. It could easily have been any of them, especially Bobby considering where the episode goes, but it was Eddie. No notes, chef's kiss.

Also the section with Christopher? MY HEART. He's already lost so much for someone so young, and Buck is basically family at this point. I'm also reminded of some parallels between Buck and Chris. They are very similar, but you don't really see it all that often. But if you compare young Buck to Christopher, you start to see quite a few connections. They're both unfailingly positive, but Buck's is more of a façade. They also have matching abandonment issues! In an earlier episode that I cannot recall the name of, Chris starts having nightmares and talks about how everyone leaves. Then, in this episode, Christopher is desperate to talk to Buck, to the point where they (probably illegally) sneak him into the room. And the thing that he is so desperate to say is "You have to come back". HELLO!? Did any of the writers ONCE consider that I am entitled to MONETARY COMPENSATION for all the EMOTIONAL PAIN they caused me. Ow!

I love mental construct Chimney and Hen. They're so chill with it, just like "I guess this is happening" and get on with it. They just accepted it, which honestly I think is somewhat accurate. They're definitely the most relaxed characters (with near death experiences of their loved ones notwithstanding).

Mental construct Bobby is the funniest thing, whilst also being somewhat emotionally devastating. He's off the rails. He's dead. He's a ghost. He's giving the deepest life advice ever. Buck's mind is honestly so weird and I love him for it.

Then there's the bit I hated (it was really clever and so good). Doug.

Oh my god. The reaction I had to seeing that evil creature. Honestly well done to the writers and the actor for making me immediately hate him so much after not seeing him for like four seasons. It was actually horrifying, the implications that if Daniel had lived, if their family had stayed together, Maddie would have had nowhere to run to. It's almost bittersweet, knowing that in another life the Buckley parents were caring and attentive, but with it came something so awful. I hope Doug Kendall is rotting in hell <3

And here's something I only noticed about a day after watching: the biggest negative impacts were on the people that Buck loves the most. Because this was all in his mind, designed to trap him there. Something that has been established is that Buck is, as I think Bobby(?) said, "the guy who wants to fix things". Buck could never be content somewhere that he was idle. In this life he isn't a firefighter, so he needs problems to occupy him. Therefore, the four people that he loves most are the ones that have the biggest problems.

First - Maddie.

Buck and Maddie's relationship is shown throughout the seasons, especially in Buck Begins and the build up to that. They have always been incredibly close, because they didn't have anyone else to rely on. So in the tempting, coma world, Maddie is still with Doug. She never escaped from her abusive marriage, and in this one she even has a child to add to the situation. Buck's first instinct as to what to do to get out of here is to find something to fix. The first thing he thinks of is Maddie and Doug.

Second - Eddie and Christopher.

Even though neither of them have actually said it yet (which is criminal) Buck and Eddie are very obviously best friends. Their relationship is incredibly strong, as is Buck's relationship with Christopher. He's almost like Buck's own child, or at least a nephew. I think most people can also see romantic chemistry between Buck and Eddie. Therefore, it makes a lot of sense to have something go terribly wrong in the coma world. A large part of Eddie's character is his love for Christopher, and how he's trying so hard to be the best father he can be whilst balancing his dangerous job and the problems that he inherited from his parents and his broken marriage. So in this mental world, they have been separated. Buck needs to fix Eddie and Christopher, because Eddie cannot be the Eddie that Buck loves without Chris, and Christopher cannot be the kid Buck loves without his father.

Third - Bobby.

Oh my gosh. Even though I knew that it was only in Buck's mind, it still hurt so much. Bobby died without Buck there. He died!!! Without Buck there to take care of, annoy him and generally love him and be loved by him, Bobby never built the bonds he did with the 118. You can see right from the start the very paternal relationship that Bobby has with Buck, which this episode only confirms. I wouldn't say that Buck lost his parents, because you can't really lose what you never had. He never had parents (I am ignoring their redemption arc because I disagree with it. Sue me.). Bobby lost his children, but he never stopped being a father. He became someone's father again with May and Harry, but before that he became Buck's father. It makes so much sense for him to die. Because in the coma world, Buck has parents. Parents who have always loved and cared for him. So in this reality, Buck would never have needed another father. Buck can still remember his relationship with Bobby, and would never be able to replicate it in the coma world. It would be a push factor, something taunting him - there's a man out there, whom you love like a parent, who never even knew you. So Bobby dies. He's nothing but a ghost, nothing physical that can drive Buck out of this paradise reality.

Philip and Margaret Buckley. WHEN I CATCH YOU PHILIP AND MARGARET BUCKLEY.

Buck considered staying. He considered staying in the coma world, knowing that he would die. He stayed for the chance of having loving parents. All Buck ever wanted was to be part of a family that loved him. In 'reality', the 118 became this family, because his biological family was too broken to count as such. But in the coma, it isn't. His parents are loving and free with their affection, he doesn't have to nearly get himself killed for it. He has the older brother that he never knew, and still has the strong bond with his sister.

And then, we finally got it. There are two things that I have been waiting so long for. One has, unfortunately, still not occurred. But finally, in this episode, they gave us the other!!!

He admitted it!

He confirmed it!

There's no taking it back now!

I am proud to be able to say, with full canon support, that Robert Wade Nash is the adoring father of Evan Buck Buckley.

I'VE WANTED THIS FOR SO LONGGGGG

It's been so obvious from the first goddamn episode. I thank you May Grant for finally getting Bobby to admit that Buck is his son. The familial dynamics in the show might be my favourites, with the entire main cast feeling like a family. However, the most obvious of these has always been Bobby and Buck's father-son relationship. It's beautiful really, how close they are and how Bobby is finally able to admit to everyone, including himself, how deep their relationship is.

There's so much more that I could say, but this has already been so long so I'm going to try and wrap it up with one last thing. My rambles always seem to get away from me lol.

I absolutely loved the conclusion. It being the construct of Bobby to tell Buck how to get out is consistent with the focus of the episode, and shows the regard that Buck has for Bobby. Even in a prison constructed by his own mind to hold him there, Buck still has Bobby to rely on. It's one of the most heartwarming moments in the episode.

And then there's the confrontation or, as I mentally called it, the final boss fight. Daniel. The price of leaving is the loss of his brother, because Daniel only lives in the minds of his family. But that's not who the true enemy is. The enemy was just using his image, a mask to hide behind. I cannot honestly say I was surprised when he was revealed, but it was such a powerful moment when Daniel turned into Buck. Because everything happening inside the coma is Buck. It's all in his mind; the pain, the torment, the loathing. Buck's worst enemy, time and time again, is himself. His self worth issues, his abandonment issues, his self doubt. The final enemy to overcome is the voice in the back of his head, given form and prominence in his comatose state. And it almost wins. But there, on the other side, is everyone who actually loves Buck. The real love, not the kind that his mind imagined. Bobby with his rosary, Christopher sneaking in, Maddie and Chimney, Eddie, Hen, even his parents. They're all there because they love him. Because nobody, nobody at all, can defeat the voice in their mind without help.

Also Buck pulling an axe from absolutely nowhere was just peak escaping. Like yes, go get out of this coma by smashing a window with an axe that you just have because you're a firefighter. You get An Axe.

#911 #911 show #buck 911 #evan buckley #another life #bobby nash #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #chimney han #maddie buckley #hen wilson #so much angst #so much pain #it's great #we love to see it #buddie

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