#okay till now they arent that bad

[pjlotrhhjeml]

I swear this ship was a joke at first...

[mysicklove]

CW: reader sucking nanamis dick lol, me playing up nanamis old manness bc i am picturing him as a middle aged man, no power dynamics, nanami cums on your face n realizes he may have a kink, reader is ":3" coded, unedited for now bc i need sleep

a/n: wrote this cause im down bad. not written well tho LOL

"Are you sure you like this? I dont want your jaw to hurt..." Nanami questions, furrowed browed as he gently traces the skin near your temple.

You were kneeling in front of him, hands placed on his thighs and grinning at him. "I want to. I really, really want to. Been thinking about it all day."

"You are quite eager."

"Arent you?" Your eyes trail to cock in your hand, completely hard and flushing a shade of red. His work attire was still on, and you just unbuttoned his pants enough so that only his dick was free. You had a thing for the work attire - you couldnt help it, he looked incredibly good in a suit.

In return, Nanami just rubs at his mouth, not denying it. Then he pets your hair, settling in his chair. "Okay, but I wont be mad if you grow uncomfortable."

You rolls your eyes at him, pressing your cheek against his cock. "You coddle me too much. I will not die from sucking dick, Kento."

He stays quiet at this, just silently brushing your hair back into his palms, holding it away from your face. It was polite, all things considering. You smile at him, while your tongue drags from the base of his cock to the tip.

You continue to prep yourself, licking and gently kissing the shaft, while Nanami watches in silence. Then, you put your mouth over him and begin to suckle the tip. A sigh is let out from the man, and he resists the urge to shut his eyes, wanting to watch the lewd sight.

Your head find a steady motion - bobbing up and down until you gag and pull off. He pretends that the sound doesnt turn him on, feeling bad that something uncomfortable for you sends blood rushing to his groin.

When you pull away, slightly panting, he rubs at your lips, now coated in saliva. "Are you okay?"

"You're doing it again, Kento. I am not a child - I've sucked other mens dick before."

He blinks at this, before frowning and forcing you back on his cock by your hair. But, when he heard your giggles from below, he realized quickly that you only said that to tease him. He sighs at that, shaking his head. "Do you like making me upset?"

You hum around his cock, letting drool purposefully fall from your mouth and down till it reached his balls - it was always bettter when it was sloppier, or so you have heard. But, you pull away quickly to answer him, tilting your head to the side so that you can continue to lick his shaft.

"Kinda fun to - you get this look in your eyes. Its weirdly sexy seeing you mad."

His non dominant hand goes back to caressing the skin on your face and his eyes soften. "I would never actually be mad at you."

You make eyecontact with him as you stick your tongue out and swirl it around the redden tip, ignoring the salty taste of pre. Then you give the head another kiss, pressing your nose against it. "I know. You're too soft around me. Its cute, I dont mind it."

"I'm glad," he breathes, and then he pauses, gulping, and looking away, "Then if you dont mind, can you go a little farther down? If its not too uncomfortable, of course."

You obey with little hesistation, mouth coming closer to the dark patch of hair on his lower abdomen. This time he groans out, and cant help but shut his eyes at the warm feeling of your throat. You try your best to focus, but seeing your lovers face contort with pleasure was too pretty to not watch.

His hips move from his chair, slightly bucking into your mouth like he couldnt control them. It makes a lewd noise in the back of your throat, and he groans hearing it. You continue your movements, and with each moment, his cock gets wetter from the amount of saliva coated on it.

Large, callused finger tips run over your neck, feeling the way his dick creates a small bulge, and he lets out a shaky breathe. "Fuck. Wow, you are something. Doing so well, thank you, thank you, fuck."

Tears are beggining to prick at your eyes from the lack of air, but still you try your best to nod at him, even if the action sends him groaning out again.

He was growing overheated from the whole thing, and you watch as he removes his tie and unbuttons the top part of his shirt. The sight makes you slightly moan, and it sends a vibration up Nanami's spine.

When you pull away for another breathe, he lets out a noise close to a whine, and you hold back a chuckle. "Looks whose the one eager now." You tease, and his cheeks pinken slightly as he looks away.

"You really treat me so well."

"You think I am good at sucking dick?"

A lewd way to put it, and Nanami wouldnt phrase it like that, but alas, he nods his head, before guiding you back onto his cock. You in return laugh, and immediately go back to work.

With each bob of your head, he gets more into it, now slightly pushing you down farther by your hair. You don't mind it, and Nanami begins to pant from the pleasure, deep and breathlessly. The sound only spurs you on.

It doesnt take much longer for his abdomen to tighten up, and the feeling of his orgasm to approach. You could tell he was close to coming, even without a warning from the way his grunts seem to grow louder. So you continue your pace, trying your best to hold out without a breathe until he cums down your throat.

But, to much of your suprise, he pulls you off from him by your hair. You try to protest, wanting him to cum in your mouth, but he simply grabs at his cock with his other hand and pumps it a couple of times before aiming it at your face.

Cum shoots out of the wet head, and you are forced to shut one of your eyes as the white liquid lands on your upper cheek and eyelid. The rest lands on a multitude of places on your face, causing you to squint your one opened eye. He groans the entirity of it, and so you let him cum all over your face, finding the noise cute.

But when he is done, you simply wipe off your eyes, leaving the rest for now, and blink up at him with a small frown. "You know it would be alot cleaner if you would have came down my throat."

Nanami just stares at you, eyes scanning your face. Then, you notice the tint of red that danced on his cheeks and ears. Your face lights up at the realization. "I knew you had some sort of kink. You're not as vanilla as I thought, Kento! Who would have thought cumming on my face would do it for you."

"You just look...so pretty like this." A laugh falls from your lips, as your eyes travel back to his cock that was beginning to harden again. Now, it was time for the real deal - you almost squeal in excitement as you drag him to the bedroom.

[r4vn]

–18+ LIFE RANT WRITER THOUGHTS & GIRL TALK

listen yall we are about to get REALL personal im not sober from a houseparty i had last night playing Drinkopoly and if we gonna be writer besties LISTEN UP

so i have a fling. or an attempted flingy..situation rn. i havent seen him in nearly 2months now bc first month he had a situation and i went to uni!

but my GOD...THE PINING BETWEEN US? I NEED TO DIEE GUYS. i initiated the fling first (i sweet talked the hell out of him i love making men intimidated) and then never got to kiss him or see him or ANYTHING bc he had a srs situation going on. so now its just huge horny pining between us and texting bc his car is in another state rn and im at university AND THE FLING WAS SUPPOSED TO STOP WHEN I GOT TO UNI BUT I CONTINUED IT BC IDK KFNDJFBD ANYWAYS GUYS WHEN I TELL YOU OVULATION WAS KILLING ME AND THE URGES CARRIED INTO MY CYCLE AND I JUST CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM HE'S SO CUTE AND DORKY AND MAKES ME FLUSTERED SO BAD URRGHGKGKFKFG

his hands ..his arms..i love arms on a man so much i want them around me after a brief round of play fighting and he's jus holding me securely so i dont run.. they arent too veiny and his hands r soft and well kept and he has tattooes on his forearms of an artist we both love and i jus want to JUMP HIS BONES.

he has thee best, dorkiest smile and his laugh is so contagious its so silly and HES SO SILLY.

i dont care if we are the same height and he's a..not bigger guy..but like samoan-man build if YK WHAT I MEAN....samoans r big but not BIG. he jus has that masc bigger build and when he wears his work uniform and sends a video in it i pay no attention to the words spoken. errfgggngngfnffnnfnfnffnfndnhnhhnhnhn please pick me up and sit me on the counter omfggmg

AND OUR FIRST 2 HANGOUTS HE WAS HELPING ME W THINGS AND HE SPOKE SOFTLY AND IN SUCH A PRAISING WAY "there you go, you got it." "its okay youre doing good" IT TRIGGERED MY DENYING PRAISE KINK SO BAD 😭😭😭😭😭😭SO😭😭BAD😭😭😭 WE WERE DRINKING AND I SHOULDA JUS KISSED HIM THERE

he's the flirty type to tease you gently and so smoothly guys lemme show you texts (i have samsung so 🙄)

*bella is his dog i would die for her

BUT LOOK?? ISNT THST WAY OF FLIRTING?? SO HOT AND LEAVES YOU YEARNING FOR MORE??? URFGGKGGNG i need him under me moaning and whimpering and trembling RAAAAAHHH FUCK.

i keep imagining sharing beers with him again and kissin him as slowly as possible and he yearns for more but i back up nd he leans in even more trying to capture my lips till he grabs my waist with one hand and my jaw with the other forcing me to kiss him as he is getting impatient jus groaning into my mouth after waiting so long to kiss me eehehehehehehehee

or he just using me and im facing away from him and holds my hips as they meet with every thrust and reaches forward to put his hand over my mouth saying "awh i know baby... i know.." AGGGGGGHGHH

i think im done. i think. this will deleted whenever LFMAOAOA

[sunny-ssunset]

Pretty in pink!

Chapter 2

South park x a girly reader

divider by pinterest

Masterlist!

♡I suppose i'll make another since the other did soooo well it was hella fun to write tbh AGED UP

♡Sorry if its ooc or Y/n is a bit mean, I try to make my characters as realistic as possible and with that it means giving them bad qualities as well as good ones. If you have any feedback or like anything to add to the story please let me know

Welcome'd by the scent of freshly brewed coffee, Y/n walked to the till, Bebe clung to Y/n's arm as she asked for their orders, "Hiii tweak, could we get what we usually order?"

Tweak froze as soon as he heard Y/n speak, "GAH- YES." He dashed off to make drinks for the girls. Y/n giggled at Tweak's reaction, "Awwwh he's adorable"

"I'm sure he thinks your adorable too Y/n..." Wendy mumbled, not wanting Y/n to hear. "Wendy, You are so pretty I notice people fawning over you all the time! Besides You and Stan are fine arent you?" Y/n tried to comfort her, noticing the slight smile on Wendy's face, Its the thought that counts

"H-Here is your drink!" Tweek interupted, shaking as he handed Y/n and her friends' drinks over, blushing as Y/n's hand slightly brushed his, She smiled, handing the boy his cash.

They walked out of the coffee shop, giggling away and getting into Y/n's car, "Hey I heard Tweak likes Craig anyways." Bebe gossiped. "I thought that myth was busted when we saw Craig on a date with that New kid, What was their name again?" Said Y/n, putting the key into ignition.

"I'm not sure, They didnt have any memorable qualities" Wendy laughed as Y/n started driving to school, taking a sip of her drink. "Y/n Keep your eyes on the road" Bebe scolded taking her drink of her. "Hey i just bought you guys' drinks watch who yo- AH!" Y/n screeched swerving as she almost drove into another car. "Y/n this is the last time you are driving us" Wendy laughed awkwardly, trying to make light of the situation.

As the long nerve wrecking drive went on, and Y/n finally paying attention to the road, The girls FINALLY ended up at school. "That was soo long" Bebe cried, never sounding this relived in her entire life. "You are so dramatic" Y/n pouted rolling her eyes, "Girl you almost killed us" Wendy laughed at Y/n, Shifting her attention to her phone as she recieved a text from Stan.

Stan the man

We need to talk.

Cmon Wendy this is serious dont ignore me.

Wendy is typing...

Wendy knew what was coming, She always did its either a 'Its not you its me' or 'Its just the wrong time for me to be in a relationship right now' I mean yeah they'd get back together but relying on Stan's attention is the only source of self esteem she gets, its not like anyone else notices her with Y/n around...

"Wendy are you okay?" Y/n put an arm around Wendy's shoulder as she comforted the girl. "Yeah I think Stan wants to break up ag-"

"Hey hey hey pretty ladies!!!" Kenny interupted walking up to the girls not realising the context of the situation. "KENNY!!!" Y/n ran up to him, forgetting about Wendys problems to hug him.

"We'll talk later hun I promise" Y/n whispered, giving a comforting smile. How could Wendy hate her? She doesnt mean it, She didnt mean to ignore Wendy, She is too perfect to do that... Right?

divider by @k1ssyoursister

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

What ships do you do not like?

Im saving Huskerdust for last. I have way too much shit to say.

Aside from weird illegal ones and also disgusting ones, I am a very big Sir Pentious x Cherri Bomb disliker. It couldve been good but theres like no chemistry and Cherri doesn’t seem to actually like Pentious for any reasons other than he kissed her and then exploded and also weird double penis joke. Said it before, I’ll say it again, Cherri does not need a boyfriend she needs character development. If you’re interested in more of my hatred I have this rant abt it here

Valentino x Vox is another that I hate. I feel like I don’t need to explain why but I will anyway. I know they’re technically not canon anymore, but idk how I’m supposed to enjoy a ship between two characters when one is Valentino and also knowing that it was previously canon that Valentino has shattered Vox’s screen multiple times. Honestly you can’t even be like “well the voxtagram posts arent canon anymore so he’s not abusing vox” because you’re like objectively wrong. In the first couple shots we see of Vox and Valentino together Vox has an entire glass thrown at his head. Very important detail, he nonchalantly dodges it implying that while we know this is a common occurrence for Valentino to have violent breakdowns, it is also a common occurrence for Valentino to throw things at him or try to injure him in some way. Not to mention he seems very unsurprised when Valentino takes his phone and breaks that as well. Vox is also forced to walk on eggshells around this guy with how he talks to him. There’s literally no way for it to be healthy at all.

While I love the concept of Charlie and Vaggies relationship, it’s entirely brought down by Vivzies inability to write women and her lack of care for wlw relationships. There’s a lot of good rants about this, but I have so little substance to mention on these two it’s kind of hard to talk on. Vaggie doesn’t have much character development and Charlie is just incompetent all the time in the canon show and the only interesting stuff we got was from episode 7 (very good episode btw)

Any Alastor ship ever. End.

I do not like Huskerdust a lot of the time. I don’t enjoy how the fandom does it a lot of the time because they don’t really consider the others boundaries and just are like “well they like each other now so they should kiss!” And I disagree with that very hard. For how it is in the show, the best i've seen is the little bit in episode 8 which I really do enjoy but obviously there was no build up to it really so I hardly have much to grasp and I have to do everything myself. Relationships take a long time. That goes hand in hand with my rewrite also. Angel has harassed Husk and other people multiple times and that’s not okay obviously but for some reason no one acknowledges that?? The first step of them ever getting together or even being friends for that matter is Angel apologising. I will be mentioning my fuckass rewrite again just as an example of what I’d do, so I apologise! Everything from this chunk till the end is about how my friend and I have tried to fix this dumb relationship. It’d take him a little to mention it, but for how I’ve done it with my friend he ends up going out to dinner with Husk after rewritten episode 4 events and after getting texts from Valentino he starts reflecting on how bad Valentino and other people objectifying makes him feel and has that “..shit im doing that to other people.” And they have a little talk about it where Angel apologises for acting that way and tells Husk to call him out if he started doing it again on accident.

And it's not a quick fix conversation either, they aren’t magically best friends now and they don’t suddenly start being lovey with each other, Angel doesn’t even list Husk as a friend yet in his mind and has a bit where he only lists two people as his friends. There’s also bits of rewriting where Angel is yelling at Husk and ends up getting upset to the point he indirectly hurts Husk by throwing a wine bottle at him and Husk steps on the glass while he’s walking out. They talk it out again and Angel has another small crisis about potentially starting a cycle of abuse because his own trauma is shaping how violently he reacts to minor situations. Both of them need to work on themselves before they do anything. Especially Angel when he’s developed a habit of snapping and has a mindset that he needs to physically fight any potential threat away from him and it's leading him to actually hurt people. While that isn’t the sole reason he's in hell he's still in hell he is an objectively bad person and Husk has his own problems too especially when dealing with Angel specifically, both of them have an issue of pushing blame off themselves or shaming the other in overly stressful situations even if they don’t mean to. Husk has a tendency to shame Angel for his coping mechanisms and even if he's well intentioned with his criticism he gives it in a very uncaring and harsh way and will sometimes default to saying “I didn’t actually care in the first place” even if he does. They currently are not ready to be in a relationship together by any means, but fights help them reflect on themselves and of course at least Angel is at the hotel to be a better person. Charlie talks to him often and shows him it’s okay to confide in other people but that he doesn’t need to tell someone everything and that he can keep things to himself, and then the help from Charlie leads to Angel apologising again and trying to do the same for Husk like listening to him talk about his own issues and then giving input on them or just casual banter and so on. Both of them desperately need to work on themselves and they’re trying to do it together and I think when they're ready they’ll probably the best matches for each other, but you can’t just skip over the issues, the issues are the entire point of growing, that's why they are at the hotel.

[djljpanda]

Hello! I absolutely love your writing style it’s just so *chefs kiss*

I was wondering if I could possibly request something? (No worries if you don’t want to do it) but it’s something like the reader was sleeping/focused on something and Wednesday comes up and taps their shoulder to get their attention.

The reader gets scared and has a ptsd flashback (preferably of family abuse if that alright with you) and either just starts freaking out saying stuff like “don’t hurt me” or they get aggressive like a flight or fight response.

Thank You For The Compliment. I Hope I Did Well.

Tw/ Angst. Family abuse. Mention of starvation.

💜

School was getting to you, staying up late for homework and assignments, doing side work for your club, so yes you were tired. You just hated the feeling of being tired, you did sleep but you were never comfortable. And add that on with stress and your fear, you couldn't sleep.

You were in the Library researching for your homework. Just with reading your eyes started to close as your head fell a bit down as your body was relaxed.

Till you felt a tap at your shoulder you eyes shot up, heart racing, blood pumping, as you turned around screaming. "I'm sorry please it won't happen again. Don't hit me", but when you nothing came you notice your girlfriend.

"Y/n are you alright" "Oh um no nothing is wrong" "Y/n you just screamed and not in the good way" "Wednesday please can we just talk about something else" "Alright but Y/n I'm here if you need anything".

Before now Wednesday notice your tired self as today she tried looking for you only to see you slumped over. She only went over to see if you were okay. But your sudden outburst she grew more worried but she didn't want to push you.

When night time rolled around you and Wednesday were in your dorm finishing homework. It started get late and Wednesday can your eyes watering because of your sleepiness. "Y/n why don't we just stop here and get some sleep" "Oh well you can love Imma still finish up here" "Y/n you are worrying me". "How?" "Well by the looks of it you arent sleeping and what just happened in the Library" "Wednesday its nothing" "Y/n something is bugging you. Please just talk to me", you looked at her only to look down again. "Im scared of sleeping cause if I do they will hit me again" "Who is they if its okay for me to ask" "My parents. Being the black sheep in the family means you must be the golden child. No sleep till your done, no food till your finished, and to be locked in your room if you got any bad grades".

Without hesitation Wednesday hugged you as real tears started to come down. "I promise they will never touche you again" "Th-thank you", you said hugging her back.

That night Wednesday stood up till you were fast asleep. Next day Wednesday had gotten you a stuff animal to help you sleep. "If you ever feel scared and im not there just hug them and you will feel safe" "Thank you love for listening and helping me out" "Well Amour you can always count on me".

[cpunkwitch]

happy disability pride month

[id: image on the right is a flag with a dark grey background, a dusty rainbow diagonally going across it from the bottom left corner going up to the right and two dark grey circles in the middle of the image one smaller in the middle of the other. the mage in the middle is a green uerbox with the flag on the right and white text reading "this user wants people to understand that living with a physical disability in this world today is a waking nightmare". the image on the left is the same flag as on the right. :end id]

i want to talk about chronic pain. might make more posts similar to this one for other things but right now lets discuss chronic pain.

Chronic Pain Syndrome, aka Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), is a broad classification of prolonged pain typically outside injuries or outside the usual timeframe for pain caused by injuries.

there are plenty of things listed under chronic pain like arthritis, back pain, fibromyalgia and more, however not everyone realizes what they have is chronic pain.

chronic pain is not about how bad the pain is, how much it hurts nor about how consistent it is, its about how long it goes on for.

if youre feeling pain for days on end in some area, thats chronic pain if youre feeling pain for a while after every time you try to do something with a limb (ex. lifting causes pain that stays all day and even the next day, getting up in the morning causes pain that lasts etc), thats chronic pain

if the pain goes on and off but still lasts a while when its there thats still chronic pain, it doesnt have to be consistent with how it lasts but pain that lasts longer than it should is chronic pain.

i always have pain in my spine when i get up in the morning, stand too long, walk or just be on my feet too long, lift heavy things etc and that pain lasts at least till the next day but usually much longer. strained muscles and exhaustion, soreness and aches are normal after activities but if they last longer than a day that isnt normal.

if someone tells you prolonged pain after doing something even mildly strenuous on your body is normal pain, they dont know what they're talking about and likely experience chronic pain themselves and no ones told them.

chronic pain can be caused by injuries, by conditions you were born with or gained over time. i was born with a defect in my spine thats caused me back pain, jaw pain, headaches and more for years and i only found out about it rather recently.

chronic pain can cause exhaustion and even be accompanied by chronic fatigue more often than not. it can cause you to need longer breaks and rest and avoid usage of your arms or legs or avoid further strenuous activity more than an abled person would need.

often any pain that causes you to avoid usage of your body isnt normal. pain that flares up after you move, be active or arent active enough isnt normal

pain that lasts longer than it should and pain that is always there after doing something is not normal and more likely than not, a sign of chronic pain.

a lot of people wont realize they have chronic pain unless they discuss their symptoms with someone who knows about chronic pain or understands that those symptoms arent normal pain. its okay to not realize or know something about your body, thinking it was normal then being told it isnt, its better to learn these things about your body, listen to your body and accommodate it than remaining ignorant and not doing any of that.

everyone's experience of chronic pain is different, not one experience will be the same as another or fit in a box, but they all have the similarity of their pain lasting longer than it should, however that presents.

the pain doesnt have to be excrutiating, there are days where it can just be dull and manageable, times where its just sharp and stabbing meaning you need to take it easy and so on. any manner of pain no matter how manageable or fierce, lasting longer than it should, is counted for chronic pain.

your knee pain flares up and stays in pain (regardless if its gone from fire to a dull ache) for the next few days or longer? chronic pain. your wrist has been in pain for a week and this happens often? chronic pain.

it doesnt matter where on your body, pain is pain and prolonged pain is chronic.

theres ways to make it more manageable, so long as you listen to your body and care for it. ice packs or hot showers/baths and anti-inflammatory meds can bring down swelling and relax the muscles, for example. you might find different things work for you and different pain you have, thats fine! not everything suggested might work for everyone.

not everyone has the ability to see a doctor but its important to try and talk to one if you can. and its okay to change doctors if you have any issues with your current one, especially if they arent listening to you.

its important to know your bodies limits as well, and to try not to push yourself past them unless you absolutely have to. dont let anyone pressure you into doing so. pain becomes more manageable once you understand your limitations.

feel free to add on tips and stuff about your experience with chronic pain! but please note im not a doctor and cannot diagnose you all i can tell you is what your symptoms sound like to me and suggest things for you to look into.

POST IS ABOUT CHRONIC PAIN AND PHYSICAL DISABILITY, DO NOT DERAIL.

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[potetosaradas]

I didn't use to see the appeal of C-137 and Prime but you have moved me because the passion you have had me looking more at it and I'm starting to ship it now. After how you talk in text posts explaining why you ship it. I can see it being that way. It changes how I see everything about the two now.

HHHHHHH!!! ANON!!!

WELCOME ABOARD THE TRAIN WRECK THAT IS PRICKCEST!!! 🥲😭

honestly, everything about prickcest hits so right for me. I mean, theres SO MUCH you can extrapolate from what hasn't been said in canon!

At the very least we know that both of them couldn't let each other go, not even till the very end.

Every stage of prickcest is just SO GOOD. From precanon adventuring to the cheating on your wife phase, to the hatred and obsession we see in canon. You can tell just how obsessed they are with each other. Rick LITERALLY built a prime shrine in his basement like? Prime keeping tabs on Rick for 4 decades? Okay. tell me these bitches arent still secretly in love with each other (jkjk)

there's a lot of symbolism in it for me too, falling in love with yourself, accepting the dark parts of yourself, betraying and denying those parts of yourself but ultimately becoming what you hated? i dont know!!! but its a beautiful mess and that is what prickcest is to me sksksksk

(also id like to add, Prime had every opportunity to kill Rick. He was clearly the stronger Rick, but he never laid a hand on Rick until Rick was ready to face him. I think he still believed he could change Rick, make him see reason. Make him join whatever nefarious agenda he had been cooking up... but i truly believe he missed being partners with Rick. There's something he can't achieve without C137. Im sure of it. too bad he fucking DIED)

[kusundei]

iiiii. am. normal. i mean? as normal as i’ll ever be.? its just like. yeah no i feel better sort of but thats also the bad part. oh bcuz who am i.? im trying again not to condemn myself over it but i cant exactly help feeling bad whenever iiii feel okay again. who am i to be normal??? to act like everything js okay and nothing happened?? its just. incredibly selfish. half the reason i keep just kind of distracting myself is because if i am alone for too long j will start thinking about it and i’ll be evil but isnt that whats supposed to be happening anyway? im not relinquished of anything. he can be as kind and sweet as he wants because he truly is just at his core but he is. way too kind to me when i am so incredibly undeserving.

ive always sort of felt undeserving of everything regarding him but i chose to look past it because i am better. i am a good person i am okay and i can be better and im not condemned to my past but idk. this just reminds me that no i am still selfish and i am still not . really a good person. it really has just kind of brought the attachment style and allll my doubts back into the forefront of my mind ljke it was before. like when we first started dating and i was horrified. didnt believe anything he said really but i worked through it its just like? why am i doubting him now? i was the one who hurt him so why is it making me? falter?

i mean im just asking a rhetorical question because i know. iiii always know. its just that i truly dont believe he means any of it anymore because j huuurt him. the one thing thats always sort of bothered me is when he deemed me perfect, which is such a nice and flattering sentiment but i think it weighed down pn me this feeling that i HAD to be perfect when i knew deep down i had already made such a bad mistake. which is why it was so scary? i knew how he was going to take jt and j tried to just accept it and work through it and j AM. i am i am i am but i keep going back and forth on how i want to deal with this. do i keep acting like im okay and everything is okay and live like that? because it would work and it would probably help him so much more than me focusing on how much i hate myself now but i just feel. horrible if i do do that. but is that me self sabotaging again by truly preferring to condemn myself and let this kill me? like it did last time?

i dont know. again it kind of has just reminded me of last time. but the issue with this compared to how it was with jd is that that issue w jd happened about a year and a half into our relationship and the worst part? it ruined it. it festered there and grew more and more till it killed both me and her because it stuck. ajax and i arent even at 2 months yet and jve already? done? something? that detrimental? its just like. i need to change something. find something. DO something different. because i know what i did with jd last time and jm trying not to repeat a cycle. i’ll be different ill try ill do everything i can because iii cant. as selfish as it is i cant let. this . go. i cant let HIM go either and j feel horrible about it again but i just i dont know

its just so weird because. its all came back. and its so unhelpful. because i KNOW hes still going through it and he doesnt believe me and things r just different but why is it also different for me? i should just be focused on him. doing the most i can to make him feel better and really emphasize that nothing has changed in me especially regarding how much i love him. its just i also keep just feeling. so. so guilty. it comes and goes in waves again. it truly is just the fact that hes right. because if i do love you this much then why would i do that to you? why did i do that? and my only answer is just that i am selfish. because i didnt know how to keep my mouth shut and i made such a personal thing out to be just another thing i could just say because iiiii trust them. but HE doesnt know them. j told her for what? because i needed her to know? she didnt need to know that. even if i was as shocked as i was and still processing it and wanted to talk about it i shouldve kept it to myself and processed it silently. instead i put him last and ignored the matter of fact that this would affect him badly just because iiiiii wanted to talk about it . i was selfish and put myself before him and this always happens when i do so. truly why dont i ever learn? what is wrong with me?? i keep kind of forgetting about it all and then it comes back. then goes then leaves. what sucks is truly that . im so doubtful again. its not that i dont trust him and i dont believe him its just that i hate myself. i hate myself all over again and its making me unable to believe that i deserve any of this AGAIN. that no. hes lying to me. he doesnt mean it hes just saying that? ive hurt him too much . because theres no way he just has no negative feelings toward me when i was the one who did that. and let alone if he IS telling the truth then thats worse because why am i spared? why am i given the benefit of the doubt when he has vocalized that if it was anyone else he wouldve hated them? so why is jt different for me? you SHOULD hate me. thats the problem.

[transfemzedaph]

Ravager beef hc? :D

🪱

okay prepare for a lot of writing sdjfbjd

so okay context for this hc overall is that there are hybrids of the newer mobs but most of them like they dont know theyre hybrids till the mobs like appear but theres some cases where the hybrids like do exsist before the mobs properly exsist in minecraft. idk i know how this works in my head but i dunno if that makes sense

so beef is born a lil baby ravager hybrid in like a pillager group, one day when hes still quite young he gets left behind somewhere whilst theyre travelling or sth - no one looks for him or anything because ravagers dont really care for their young so yeah

he gets found by a very kind villager lady who like adopts him and teaches him everything about the world and players and such, one of the things she told him was that the players dont know about the ravagers or even the pillagers yet so he should always hide his ravager-ness from them (cause like the worlds that exsist are very developed but the ones that the players end up in arent as advanced its like weird)

the village he grows up in is fairly small, nestled into a cliffside but sometimes a wandering trader visits, bringing gifts and stories of far off lands and beef is so curious about it and so when hes old enough he leaves to explore the world

he ends up in mindcrack full of players and new friends but its clear this world isnt the same, the villagers are weird and wrong, he keeps his horns filed down and his sleeves long enough that it covers the markings on his arms (cause like the ravagers have the bluey silver like cuffs things and in my brain like when the baby ravagers are born the magic pillager guys do like a thing that makes bluey kinda markings on the ravager where the cuff things go and like its a thing like this ravager is owned and isnt like a wild one and also makes it like magically easier for the cuffs to like stay there, so beef has the markings)

then he joins hermitcraft with lots of people, new friends and old, and he still hides it, he ends up telling the nho during season 5 during the whole jungle shit, like sth abt the them being trapped and beef has to tell them bc his horns are growing and he cant file them down - although beef is unsure if bdubs actually remembers

beef wasnt technically in season 6 but when he returns in season 7, everyone knows about ravagers now, and beef knows its a hybrid friendly server but he still doesnt tell anyone, he does use his part ravager status to his advantage a little in decked out (the ravagers always hesitate and are slightly reluctant to attack him bc they know hes part ravager)

season 8 he still doesnt tell anyone but the whole alien transformation thing happens which makes beef feel real weird and bad bc of his hybridity, so he decides he will tell everyone before season 9

every like new world beef goes to his horns revert back to their original state so beef is kinda glad he doesnt have to do anything with them this time when he starts the new season, he walks into the pre season meeting before they enter the world, sleeves rolled up and horns on display

he feels v awkward abt it and is kinda just like uh so im a ravager hybrid and everyone is like :o oh, x asks how long hes been hiding it and if thats why he wasnt there in s6 - bc remember that thing abt like hybrids like being activated when they appear in the like game that i mentioned at the beginning - and etho who is like standing net to beef scoffs at that and beef is like uh no ive been a hybrid the whole time which everyone is very surprised by bc like born hybrids arent exactly rare and even happen with the newer mobs but mostly the born hybrids from the newer mobs happen after theyre like in the game

when i say in the game i mean when they got added to the game like yknow but like this isnt a game for the people bc its just their life but phrasing things is hard

thats all i have rn and tbh i so badly wish i could draw so i could do like a thing w a body of him to show what he looks like bc of him being a hybrid but eh whatever

[winderlylandchime]

1/2We are officially on 3x13! He legit ran into the house, sat on the couch and like tapped it and didnt let me do anything else before.

‘Look at Brian all dramatic and sexy. OH LOOK AT BOTH OF THEM ALL DRAMATIC AND SEXY. Oh shit the cop didnt show? I forgot about that. Of course he looked hot Brian. It’s Justin’ ‘WHO THE FUCK IS KNOCKING ALL THE DAMN TIME AT HIS PLACE? (hunter shows up) ITS MY BOY HUNTER! HES ALIV- A CONDOM?! Hunter…i am both impressed and traumatized. (And justin showed up) aw they canceled gay as blaz- thats brians shirt! OH WAIT TILL HUNTER FINDS OUT THEY ARE MARRIED IN MY HEART’ the best scene of the episode is now up *starts hysterically laughing and rewinds it 2 times* ‘HE FUCKED A MURDERED!! MHM HE HAS A BOYFRIEND! OH HE SAID YEAH! *pauses tv* HE SAID YEAH! HE FUCKING SAID YEAH! I know season 1 Brian is sick to his stomach somewhere out there. BUT ME? I AM HAPPY AS EVER! HE HAS A BOYFRIEND! (brian kinda defends hunter or whatever) i fuck with this duo! They could have weird uncle/nephew potential…..if hunter just stops trying to fuck Brian.’ That scene between Em/Ted is up where they’re having sex ‘oh no. Ted no. Stop. TED, Emmett baby, YOU NEED TO RUN! I feel bad cause i like Ted but damn it Em RUN, i think there’s no saving him. TED STOP! Oh Emmett is breaking my heart, i cant watch this. ted is killing me.’ ‘HI BRIAN! GIVING A USED CONDOM TO A COP IS A DIFFERENT LEVEL OF ICONIC. I love this guy *points to the screen* i love you. *randomly stops ep on Brian and just stares at him for a minute* yeah’ *continues the ep* ‘THEY WERE PARTNERS? Of course they were. I fucking hate cops. Can we get rid of them in this show? Isnt it enough theyre already out there *points to window* ‘fuck, justin is in trouble..THATS RIGHT HIM AND BRI BRI WERE BOYFRIENDS BEFORE! he kinda did fuck the boss, didnt he? Good for you, Blondie! (Justin says that if its any consolation he was doing a kick ass job) *stops tv and starts laughing and literally falls back in the couch with his feet up in the air and kicks them* yes, you were doing a kick ass job! APOLOGIZE? Bitch, fuck you and your apology.’ Scene with Mel/Linds/Mikey comes on and all he says is ‘this is so fucking weird…and dumb’ Mikey asks Em when hes gonna apologize to Mel: ‘this is a little fucked up. I mean yeah, it was rude but she also should apologize to him because she has no fucking right to say that to him…*he then goes silent for a really long time*…you know who would’ve appreciated Em calling her a cunt? Brian. He’d laugh.’ ‘Oh Emy. No don’t defend Ted! No no no, you need to save yourself please baby boy! I love you too much to let you go like this!’ ‘BRIAN AND JUSTIN! THEYRE WALKING! Why arent they holding hands? Rude. Exactly Blondie, Bri Bri is right! Your education is important and it’s your ticket out of here! Okay, so you dont care about money but do you care about a house? Food? Health insurance? Exactly, so listen to my boy Bri Bri, and go there and apologize cause sometimes you gotta convince stupid people that they won. And finish your school cause that’s how you go places in lif- *looks at me in absolute horror* oh my god, i sound like dad. I sound like mom AND dad. OH FUCKING SHIT ON A STICK WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED? I mean brian is absolutely right but i dont wanna sound old like that so *whispers softly* fuck school’ ‘THE COP DID IT! Carl stop disappointing me! I kinda had some faith in you and then you ruined it!’ ‘BRIAN WHY ARE YOU BACK AT THE BAR? YOURE GONNA GET YOURSELF KILLED! HEY! BRIAN IS MORE THAN AN ASSHOLE. He is also pretty! shit he is not holding back, going for the kill with the photo. He actually cares a lot about this. BRIAN DO NOT GIVE HIM YOUR NAME. HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN AN EPISODE OF LITERALLY ANY CRIME SHOW?! *looks at me worried* if he gets hurt…no wait, if ANYTHING happens to Brian, i will burn everything to the ground! He has been through enough! *head in his hands at this point* Bri..Baby..Brian… why are you telling him all this..damn, i forgot about the Trump wannabe. *points to tv angrily* HEY! What did i just say? Get your hands off my Bri Bri! *looks at me angrily* NOTHING better happen to him. Not now. Not later. Got it?’

OH MY GOODNESS DEAR SWEET ANON!

They could have weird uncle/nephew potential…..if hunter just stops trying to fuck Brian <- wait until brother (and Hunter) finds out Hunter is straight! I do love the Brian / Hunter dynamic so much. So many iconic lines come out from it. Including THEE SCENE with “you fucked a murderer.”

Brian would appreciate Em calling Mel a cunt. He really would.

Dyingggg over your brother turning into your parents. It comes for us all at some point. I open my mouth and my mother comes out. It’s frightening.

How sweet that your brother is so worried for Brian… but he’s the main character, nothing bad happens to him beyond cancer (with a 99% survival rate) and a broken bone and s5.

[mysicklove]

i had the most unhinged thought and raced to your inbox because i need this demon expelled from my body asap. hawks coming home from the worst day of patrol, everything went wrong and he had to speak up at a press conference, play the part of perfect, and all he wants is to melt into your touch. you can see it in his eyes, the dark circles, and the weary tilt of his smile. "baby bird," his voice is hoarse, "need you to hurt me tonight," so he can finally unravel. you're the only one he wants to be perfect for. okay goodbyeee 💀

𝐔𝐍𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐕𝐀𝐒

Pairing: Masochist! Hawks x Gn! Sadist! Reader

CW: face slapping, lots of blood, cock stepping, kicking, bruising, cock slapping, heavy degration, loss of air, mean reader, tons and tons of tears, scratching, mouth spitting, no mention of safe word but keep in mind it is there !!!

A/N: anon im sorry i totally changed ur thing, i just saw masochist hawks and sprinted. the demons wrote this, not me. dont look at me everyone. HEED THE TAGS

it was a way to blow off steam. something that he looks forward to, just some time where he doesn't have to think anymore. only feeling he has the stinging sensations and the tears that prick his eyes. it was an embaressing obsession he had. he loved pain.

Keigo walks to the bedroom, his hero costume tattered, and dark circles under his eyes. he is exhausted, but coming to you for your touch. pulling you close to him, and mumbling into your neck how bad he wants you to hurt him. till he bruises and bleeds. till every thought just disappears except for you.

and so you pull away, and slap him. it makes him tumble backward, and his yellow glasses fall off. he touches the tingling feeling on his face, blood spilling out from the skin caught on your wedding ring. you dont let up, sending another loud smack across his face, and this time he does fall to the ground, landing on his ass.

tears prick at his eyes, and he can feel his lip tear open. the taste of blood coats his mouth and he gulps, looking up at you for more.

he feels your foot jab onto his clothed cock and he keens, wincing up at you. "w-wait," he stutters, throwing his head back when your press even harder. "fuck!"

"wait? you want me to wait? after you begged for it like a dog?" he is squirming under you, tears now streaming down his face as you dig your foot into his pants.

"'m sorry. sorry—you are going to kill me!" he pleads, hands trying to dig themself into the carpet to fight back against the pain.

you sigh, and let up, instead using your foot to push at his chest, causing him to fall over and onto his back. "take off your clothes, Keigo," you mumble, taking a seat on the bed with crossed legs and staring down at him.

"okay. okay. I will. Just give me a minute!" he pants, tearing off his jacket and shirt as fast as he can. he knows something is coming, you werent playing nice.

you dont give him enough time, he reaches for his pants, and without hesitation you slam your foot into his stomach. he goes tumbling backwards and lands on his side, curling into a ball and panting. his eyes are wide and he is gripping onto his adomen. it surely will leave a huge bruise tomorrow. but thats not what he is worried about, he cant breathe.

"awww, did you get the wind knocked out of you? that's what happens when you move too slow," you tease, as you take in his appearance. he trembles in front of you, looking up at you in fear. tears drip down his cheeks and onto the ground, as he tries and fails to catch his breath.

you giggle at him, padding over to him. he flinches at the footsteps, bracing himself for another kick, but you just begin to unbutton his pants, pulling them down. "useless thing, arent you. cant follow any directions," you coo, now tearing off his boxers.

his cock springs out, tip red and leaking pre cum. "such a pervert! you sick fuck, keigo. who gets hard from getting beat?" you land another slap to his thigh, and his whole body jerks.

you smile at the red handprint, glancing back at him to see him beginning to drool. its coated red from the blood from his cheek and lip. he's is still heaving from the kick, eyes wide, and body gasping for oxygen.

"say Hawks do you get turned on when you are losing against villains? pop a boner like a freak for anyone who hits you?"

his eyes flash to you and he is shaking his head desperately. his words are breathless, "no. no. 'm not a freak!"

a quick, but harsh slap to his cock. he jumps again, globs of tears falling quicker. "fuckkkkk," he whimpers, shaking his head back and forth. his whole body shakes, and fingers dig into his own skin.

"you liar! do you want to be kicked again?"

"no no no no. im sorry. im sorry! im a freak. a pervert who likes to get hit. im sorry," he sobs, reaching for your ankle for comfort. you slap it away and he hisses, rubbing the back of it with a sniffle.

but you smile at him and lean over to sit on his chest. his head is still lolled to the side and his body racks with sobs. "shhhhhhh. so whiny Keigo. thanks for admitting it. my disgusting pervert. here, a reward."

you grab his face, hard enough to bruise, and force him to look up at you. his eyes are half shut in a wince, but he tries to force them open to look at you. you pry his mouth open, lean forward, and drop a glob of spit into his mouth.

he doesnt hesitate to swallow it, opening his mouth up again and sticking his tongue out to show you its gone. "th-thank you," he whimpers, and you smile fondly at him.

you hands trail up and down his down his body, sending vicicoius red raised scratchmarks along his pretty skin. "now, pervert....what should we do to this pretty canvas?"

he grins up at you, tears still dripping, and blood staining his cheeks and lips, but still stars in his eyes. "anything."

[stormxpadme]

AO3 has been kicking me out for around 10mins bcs of pages loading too slow on wifi and data both so it wont let me post a comment on ch 7 (i think) SO HERE IT IS i will not go to sleep till i send it to you PUBLICALLY ! (gonna also paste it into ao3 tmrw but i need to send it now and then pass out for at least 3 more hrs xD):

REMYYYYYY AAAA i literally firgot everything i was gonna say when i figured out its gambjt j'fucking adoreeeee 🥰🥰🥰

one bad mutant for eric one food mutant fir charles. theyre just playing chess at this point. assholes. also with the like killing and mystiques comment abt another talk between erik and charles i had a thiught there... hmmmm.... i wish i rmbrd what kt was. OH YEAH. it hink i said this a while ago somewhere that its like. Its a draw, and impasse, and until either one of them crossed any of the arbitrary lines they drew in the sand nothing will change

Also scott is a dumbass and katja is so extremely like. Idealistic. I love that for her bcs she still has enthusiasm amd has that righteous anger that comes off as either annoying or hopeful to someone whos been fighting a war for so long such as scott. And i love that part of the convo where scott is like we cant save the whole world. It made me think of schindlers list and that quite - the man who saves a life has saved a world entire. Which is ironic given that its eriks goons doing this, which AGAIN brings me to erkis hypocrisy this time and like. Him and charles are just two sides of a same coin arent they?

The encounter with that girl yesterday had left him more confused than he had experienced in years. - side eyeing you for this 👀🤨😤😹❤️

With this weapon, we can turn all of New York into mutants in a few days and all of humanity in six months - oh i rmbrd now! (I cooy some quites to clipboard not to forget to comment on them xd) - what i wanted to say here is that i have all the love and none of the respect for cartoonish villain plans ised to attract the attention of your ex boyfriend xD "imma turn the whole new york into SHARKS and i'll be the SHARK MASTER" like dude chill ffs just text him its okay its cool xD.

❤️

It sent, actually! But yeah, everything's lagging there right now including my answers to you and I'm getting unnerved bc AO3 GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. So I will answer here :D And then I will send you to bed BECAUSE REASONS.

And hey, there's a definite advantage to posting here: You can include visuals :D.

I needed my red eyed Cajun baby in there :D. I mean obviously, since the team is what it's like in the 90s cartoon plus one additional weather-witch, but also because Remy is too fucking cute (and Taylor Kitsch was too fucking hot playing him).

Yeep, exactly. Charles and Erik love each other far too much still for their own good. This whole thing would long have been over with everyone dead if they didn't hold their respective people back. With how it's going, there's just more and more collateral damage on the way, and those two still will just fuck it out and cry on each other's shoulder in the end, and they deserve all the shade thrown at them for it.

Uuugh now I get emotional about Schindler's list again, never managed to rewatch that, it broke me so much the first time already. I think it's really the hardest part about this job? Getting to terms that you can't be everywhere at once and that making as much of a difference as you can is what counts and not saving everyone because that simply won't work. And my girl is still at the beginning of learning that sigh. It's really chilling seeing Erik walk around killing off random people in this franchise just because they're normal people bc like. This is what happens when someone's been on the receiving end of this and then gets the power to turn the tables on the fascist assholes. The moral dilemma of the whole thing ugh.

Oh god, I'm so sorry for this storyline already LOL. Poor Ororo really needs better taste in men …

thanks, now I can never take that plan seriously again LOOOL. I mean, when Erik finally gets up to get this plan up and started, Charles will indeed be there in person, so I guess in the end the plan worked? :D

[minarcana]

sorry for all the ooc, things are wrong with me. anyways i was in prae for the umpteenth time and every time im there all i can picture is the gaius that lives in my brain being forced to go through prae and its him with his head in his hands like "please. dont. dont make me remember being Like This"

im going to talk about gaius, sorry

(caveat: i have a better werlyt in my brain.)

his arc is that he went from a True Believer to "ah. these are people.". me forcing him to live thru prae era again is the cringe punishment cube.

a clarification to werlyt arc rewrite: yeah he did war crimes and he did them on purpose. he was aware they were war crimes. he knew that other legions did bad things, though he consistently underestimated the amount and cruelty of human experimentation going on. he knew other legions tended to treat eorzeans as lesser

however he really did believe in Something. he believed varis's propaganda and that varis was a benevolent leader, that it wasnt just primals but eorzea's belief in gods in general that were killing their own land bc he cant tell the difference between a primal and a god. he was fully committed to "these people are savages and heres some fuckin, fantasy version of the white mans burden" which is obviously incredibly wrong and fucked but yknow, it fuels the war machine. he was a soldier who never even thought to ask questions.

all he did was believe wholeheartedly in the propaganda fed to him and therefore rationalize "torching this entire country is fine, right". cannot stress enough i am not excusing the war crimes. im just making him a consistent character with a mildly rational arc. he super did those war crimes and did them on purpose. but he also did protect the war orphans his own war caused and had no issue whatsoever letting eorzeans who wanted to join the army to protect themselves do so. equality of opportunity providing you pledged fealty to garlemald, bc being of garlemald's population made you Better and Not A Savage and therein lies the line of who it's fine to kill if they fight back and who can be treated with respect.

unfortunately, ascians. gaius got his ass handed to him and the result is [nervous laughter] oh shit the army is super not infalliable and always right and very capable of and prone to wanton destruction instead of targeted attacks specifically to claim territory, hence the depression arc. he's pissed at ascians and wants to die. two birds one stone, hunt ascians till one of them kills him. meet people who want him dead and yknow theyve got a fucking point.

though he did still believe in the last vestige of "maybe things arent completely fucked and i didnt spend my entire life believing in utter bullshit lies?" that varis was a Good Emperor and Capable Of/Genuinely Interested In Ensuring Protection Of Garleans until the black rose incident. he still had a weird loyalty towards him that maybe he could get varis to like. not enact biological warfare against his own men. if he were just able to talk to him. but twas not to be and gaius essentially just [throws hands into air] OKAY! FINE! FUCK ME I GUESS!

hed already entirely lost faith that anything in garlemald's extant ruling structure could be salvaged while they still tried to wage war, weapon series just brought into light how deeply rotten the army had been the entire time when gaius had turned a blind eye to any operations that weren't his own.

if he met himself from his prae monologue now he'd strangle one of himself he doesnt care which one just free him from whatever this is hed Rather Die

the only thing im keeping him actually genuinely 100% totally unaware of from werlyt is the weird Thing livia had for him. shes out there hollering HIS BODY IS MINE as gaius is like "[completely out of earshot every time she does that] haha livia shes like a relative of mine i guess" and thats because i think its very funny.

on a SECOND DIGRESSION ABOUT PRAETORIUM

like. look. garleans cant use aether. i desperately want the explanation for how the fuck this man is pulling shadow clones out of his ass when he repels magic. i choose to believe the X beams are either ceruleum fire or aether cartridges charged by someone else but this cannot explain fuckin naruto shadow clone jutsu going on. what the fuck, gaius.

[hyliagirl42]

Okay, genuinely, literally, this mindset was the ONLY reason i graduated college.

It was the ONLY REASON.

I struggled to motivate myself to do my homework, regardless of deadline, regardless of how important it was to my grade, without someone in the room with me checking in occasionally to say "are you still working or are you on tumblr?"

I convinced one of my (similarly neurodivergent) roommates at the time to make me come do homework with her every evening, regardless of whether i wanted to at the time or not. I gave her permission to drag me out to the living room kicking and screaming if necessary. And then we sat on the couch, often with other roommates also doing homework, and we would all work. And after i was done, and showed her that it had been turned in and nothing else was due the next day, she would give me a popsicle that she kept in a mini fridge in her room, so i would only get them as a reqard for doing homework.

She did not propose any of that to me. I was the one who proposed that plan to her, because I know what Im like. If i dont wanna do a thing, i will hole up in my room and not come out. Even if i come out to do work, and yes having people in the room does help a lot even if they arent checking in with me, i can still occasionally have days where i say "i dont feel like doing xyz specific assignment today" and then i wont do it, so proving i had everything done to an unbiased outsider helped with that. And i would eat the popsicles till i had no rewards left for myself if it was left in the regular shared freezer we used

To neurotypicals, the above probably sounds really bad. It would sound lazy, it would sound like i have no desire to actually finish school. But i did! I really really desperately wanted to succeed in school. I just knew from experience that my own brain would be fighting me the entire way. So i decided i would no longer try to fight myself on it, and got help. And i succeeded! Im graduated now! I have a degree! Do what you need to do in order to succeed!!

The most valuable thing I learned doing a Masters degree with depression, anxiety and ADHD was to change my “things I’m bad at” list to “things I can’t do on my own.” Stop thinking of them as things I could do if I tried hard enough, and accept that I can’t accomplish them by effort and willpower alone; they’re genuine neurocognitive deficits, and if I need to do the thing, then just like a blind person reading or a mobility impaired person going up a storey in a building, I need to find a different method.

I’m “bad at” working on long-term projects without an imminent deadline or someone breathing down my neck? Okay, let’s change that: I can’t work on long-term projects without an imminent deadline and someone breathing down my neck. So let’s create an imminent deadline and recruit neck-breathers. Find a sympathetic prof who will agree that 3 weeks before the due date they expect me to show them my preliminary notes and bibliography. Get a friend I trust to block off an hour to sit with me and keep asking, “Are you working on your project?” Write a blog post about my progress. Arrange to trade papers and proofread them with another student.

Accept your limitations and learn to leverage them, instead of buying the neurotypical fairytale that they’ll go away if you just try hard enough.

[winwintea]

okay more more life lore because i actually love talking and i already talked to my girlfriend and my brother’s boyfriend about everything in my life they are literally part of the family now and i have no one to talk to anymore i only have you london so please bare with me😞😞😞

Also it is so frustrating me because my keyboard keeps changing to my mandrin keyboard every second like i don’t press that world globe thing that changes languages it just changes itself to mandrin I’M NOT TALKING TO MY MOM FOR GOD’S SAKE STOP CHANGING TO MANDRIN💀💀💀

anyways quick lore because it is like 3am and i didn’t sleep🤓🤓

i was born raised and studied 4 years of elementary school in shanghai then we moved to london i studied there till freshman year in highschool then we had to move back to china after the divorce i studied there then graduated and now i’m in new york but i will unfortunately move back to china after a year😞😞😞😞

And my brother’s unemployed ass dropped out of uni so he can live this year at the fullest (his words not mine) and i wish i can but unfortunately i’m the future doctor in the family and i need to study or i will be the bad influence in the family😿😿 sigh i dont wanna be Asian anymore😞😞

NOW GOOD NIGHT I NEED TO SLEEP LOVE YOU MWAH MWAH🎀🎀🎀🎀

I WILL BECOME AN EXTENDED MEMBER OF THE NERDSUNGIE FAMILY

the korean cousin 🤭🤭

anyways quick lore because it is like 3am and i didn’t sleep🤓🤓// fun fact i was actually up all night and did not sleep either (it be like that sometimes... but usually really rare, i go to bed around 10:30ish on a daily basis) and so i watched your two asks get sent in at like 4-5am in the morning for me and was like... "girl wdym go to sleep now..." ALSO ARENT YOU SAME TIMEZONE AS ME RN???

wait wait wait do you speak shanghaiese 👉👈 my chinese teacher also would yap away in shanghaiese so i know how to speak a few words but i can fully understand the dialect if you were speaking to me in it. (speaking is hard guys i just cracked down on my mandarin pronunciation)

but when i visited shanghai this year it was so fun watching these people find out that i'm actually korean and i can speak a bit of shanghaiese too. convinced i was lowkey born in the wrong family, pls adopt me nerdsungie's mother and step-mom 🙏

also.. how does your dad's side and your mom's side interact like im gen curious... with the amount of queers this family has it seems so sweet like... im also a child of divorce but brooooooooooooooooo my parents hate each others guts ( i mean they're also straight. but..)

HELP ME YOUR BROTHER "DROPPED OUT" ok trust fund kid /j IM JOKING IDK IF YALL ARE TRUST FUND KIDS BUT IF YOU GUYS ARE BASICALLY ZHONG CHENLE THEN YOU'RE BASICALLY A TRUST FUND KID JUST SAYING....

med student gang 😜😜 lowkey i wanted to be a doctor on my own, my parents hate going to doctors they like refuse to see a doctor in any emergency istg my mother is going to be in a fucking coma and she'll awake to tell me that she will not see a doctor and then go back into her damn coma.