#kenny mccormick fluff

[oniikabuto]

one bed!

-- sfw --

characters: kyle broflovski, kenny mccormick, stan marsh, eric cartman

a/n: i did this for a different fandom like a year ago. i love the one bed trope i just had to write a new one for south park....,,, lmk if you want part 2

notes: fluff yayyy; gn reader; characters have a fat crush on you live laugh mutual pining;

guys requests are very much open rigjt now pleasseeeekksflkdfnkjs

— ⛧ k. broflovski

sweetest guy. he doesn't want to take your bed, but you insist.

he also hangs his jacket on the door and keeps his hat neatly on your desk... which is kinda funny and cute that he tries so hard to be neat

freezes up and goes red when you slide into the bed next to him. poor boy is about to melt.

"dude why are you so sweaty are you okay"

"huh- what? yeah, yeah it's cool i'm fine it's..,,,,,,,"

wakes up with a puddle of drool and a wet cheek. he panics and wipes his face and looks over to see if you're awake. you pretend you aren't for kyle's sake. he's so cute.

his nose also does that stupid whistley thing it's so funny

a relatively still sleeper. he just kinda curls up and.. sleeps. sometimes he murmurs something in his sleep.

"cartman.. shut up..",

"what?", you murmur groggily.

"no"

"kyle??? are you awake??"

(no response)

genuinely cannot remember any of that when he wakes up.

— ⛧ k. mccormick

it's like 1am and you turn off the movie as the credits roll.

when you look over at kenny, he looks like a baby that had just woken up.

"dude, what time is it..", he murmurs.

"um.. late." you definitely did not mean to have him over for so long.

"do you wanna go home, or like.. stay with me?"

kenny perks up immediately when you offer to let him spend the night. huge, shit-eating grin spread across his face.

"dumbass", you laugh. but you kinda wanted him over, too.

he sits in your room and pokes at all of your plushies while he waits for you to go get a change of clothes for him. ("no way you're sleeping in that eyesore of a parka!")

almost faints when you change your shirt in front of him

youre the only person that can fluster him like that.

sleeps curled up like a little car

(I MEANT TO TYPE CAT BUT THATS REALLY FUCKING FUNNY)

makes funny noises

like when a dog is sleeping

you'll wake up with his face in your chest and he'll swear it was an accident. it was not

— ⛧ s. marsh

you were at your desk doing homework and stan was on your bed on his phone, both doing your own thing as music played from your speaker.

it's not until that last math problem that you realize it's late. really, really late. you look over at stan, and he's face-down dead asleep on your bed, phone still in one hand.

you don't want to wake him up and tell him to go home, so instead you take his hat off and leave it on your bedpost.

he's splayed across the bed right in the middle.

how?? are you supposed to move him???

after a moment of deliberation, you hold your breath and roll him over, praying he doesn't wake up.

he does obviously

"ow..???? y/n??"

"shit. sorry. it's late, just go back to sleep. you can walk home tomorrow morning."

"wha- okay"

he's too tired to object

plus he secretly loves being in your bed. it smells like you

snores and breathes kinda funny once in a while

no matter how still he looks when you get into the bed with him, somehow you wake up with his limbs sprawled out like a spider.

in the morning, his leg is on top of you and his hand is on your face.

— ⛧ e. cartman

actually such a bitch about staying over

he definitely tried to distract you so that he would HAVE to spending the night

he just loves spending time with you but he doesnt wanna ask :(

"but the couch will make my back stiff! i'll be soo sore in the morning!"

"just say you want to sleep in my room with me, cartman."

"whaat?? if you insist, i guess!"

makes himself absolutely at home. if you want to sleep in your own bed, you'll have to sleep on top of him or touching him.

he definitely does that on purpose

as much as it pains you to admit it, cartman is actually like really really comfortable.

even if he's squishing you to death

and he claims he has no idea he does that in his sleep

smells like a dove soap bar or like. baby shampoo and its actually really nice

snores like a monster truck engine

leaves his shit all over the floor but also offers to help clean up to impress you

(he cant clean for shit but at least he tried??)

[sunny-ssunset]

South park headcanons

Watching a movie with Kyle, Stan, Kenny and Cartman.

Taglist: @the-official-memester @wowowpx

♡This is a bit different from what I usually write but the idea was haunting me lol GN AGED UP

Kyle

♡He really really really obsessed with marvel

♡Him and Cartman argue about it because Cartman thinks dc is better

♡Huge nerd

♡He'll tell you everything about marvel honestly

♡Begs you to watch avengers with him

♡Its really hard to watch it though because he keeps talking throughout the film

♡You have to tell him to shut up in the end

♡He looks at you for your reaction at the scenes he likes though

♡If you become a fan of marvel you'll end up having a huge marathon

♡If you don't really like it you'll walk off at the end of the film with an unimpressed face

♡Kyle will sit there with his jaw on the floor wondering how the hell you can react that way to a marvel film

♡Kyle will then explain about the marvel lore in depth hoping it will change your mind

Stan

♡Stan doesn't really watch films to be honest

♡He prefers tv shows

♡Will watch anything with you to be honest

♡If its boring he'll probably fall asleep

♡You end up watching white chicks

♡He doesn't think he'll like it

♡But he gets really into it and it becomes his favourite film

♡He refrences it all the time

♡Gets kind of annoying to be honest

♡He watches it whever he can

♡Stan still laughs at the jokes after watching the film for the 12422257th time

Kenny

♡Kenny's favourite film is Thats my boy

♡He loves adam sandler films

♡You have movie dates at your house

♡He likes that my boy because he feels like it corralates to his relationship with his dad

♡But he loves all of adam sandlers films

♡He hates talking throughout movies

♡Will not hesitate to tell you to shut the fuck up

♡He secretly is a huge film nerd

♡Knows alot about both DC and Marvel but he doesn't tell anyone except you because he doesn't want to be involved in Kyle and Cartman's arguments

♡If you are scared of horror films he'll put them on as an excuse to cuddle you

♡He will laugh at you when you scream at the film though

♡Anyways Kenny LOVES watching movies with you

Cartman

♡I will be honest he is a huge film critic

♡Its really hard to watch films with Cartman lmao

♡His ideal date idea is making fun of shitty films with you

♡Everything you watch is on HIS terms

♡You have to watch what he wants

♡Or he'll get really bored

♡He will not stop talking during films

♡Once you went to the cinema with Kyle, Stan, Kenny and Cartman, They all decided on something Cartman didnt want to watch and Kenny almost punched Cartman in the face because he wouldnt shut up about how shit it is.

♡Cartman is a spoilt princess tbh

♡He somehow watches all the new films early

♡He will spoil films for you if you argue

♡Anyways you watch Wicked

♡He secretly loves musicals

♡He suprisingly gets really sucked in and actually shuts up for once

♡He pretends he didnt like it though

dividers by @k1ssyoursister

[writingforcuteppl]

Lesson 1: Kissing

PAIRING: Kenny McCormick x f!Reader

SUMMARY: Never been kissed? No way. Lucky you, your best friend would love to do it.

GENRE: Fluff

WARNINGS: A little bit suggestive. Swearing. AGED UP CHARACTERS

WORD COUNT: 1.2k words

PART: 1 (series masterlist)

“So… you’re telling me that in all these years, you’ve never kissed anyone?” Kenny was baffled. Hell, he was shocked. He turned around on his chair, completely forgetting whatever he was doing on his computer.

You, on the other hand, didn’t understand why he was so shocked.

“Yeah, what about it?” you continued, looking at your phone screen before finally deciding to lock it and pay attention to your best friend. Kenny just stayed there, looking at you, his brain going insane at the confession. “What? Are you going to just stay there with that stupid look on your face?” you chuckled.

“‘I don’t believe you.” Kenny passed his hands through his face, trying to come up with something else to say. You sat down on his bed.

“Well, I’m telling you the truth. Never.”

“No way. You cannot be serious. Not even once?” Twenty-three years, and you’ve never been kissed?

“Mhm… well, maybe just a peck. But that was years ago…” Kenny sighed. And you covered your face with your hands. This was so embarrassing. You didn’t even remember how the hell this conversation started, but here you were, admitting to one of your most experienced friends you’ve never been kissed properly.

“Well, a peck is a peck.” 

“Yeah, right. That’s just lame, to be honest.” You looked at Kenny, and for the first time, you couldn’t really decipher his expression.

“So you, one of the prettiest girls I’ve known for my whole life, who's not only amazing but such a good friend, hasn’t kissed anyone? Bullshit, I thought we said we would never lie to each other.” your stomach made a flip after those words came out of his mouth. Yeah, even if Kenny has been your friend for so many years, you had to admit that he was handsome and to be honest, you were always a sucker for compliments.

“God, Kenny, why is it so hard to understand?” The more he said it, the more you started to regret the confession.

Kenny slowly stood up and made his way to his bed. He just stayed there in front of you. You looked up at him.

“Do you wanna try it?” you felt your heart in your throat.

“The fuck you’re talking about McCormick!” You stood up, feeling too overwhelmed by his proximity, and laughed it off, thinking he was just joking, as he always does. You started to walk to his bedroom door and at least escape whatever new reality you had just stepped into, and that’s when you felt Kenny’s hand on your wrist.

Kenny turned you around, making your whole body crash with his. You grabbed his shirt, not really sure if you wanted him to get away from you or if you needed him closer, but never locked eyes with him.

“Let me just give you your first kiss.” you started to bite your lip. This couldn’t be right, can it? What if this changed the friendship you’ve had with him for all these years? As your mind was trying to decide whether it was a good choice, you felt Kenny’s left hand on your cheek. You finally looked into his eyes and gulped. Fuck this. What’s the worst that could happen? You closed your eyes and only nodded. Kenny smiled.

You felt his lips ghost yours, and for a brief moment, you thought he was going to back down—until you felt him. He only gave you a small peck at first, and you were kind of disappointed. You shrugged, and Kenny couldn’t help but laugh.

“Easy, baby. I will give you what I promised.” you felt your blood rush into your cheeks at the nickname. Kenny grabbed you by the hand and made his way to his bed. He sat down and grabbed you by your hips so you could straddle him. You didn’t even sit properly when Kenny kissed you again, this time more feverishly. You opened your mouth, welcoming whatever he was about to do.

You felt Kenny’s hand grab your cheek once again and tried to kiss him back the same way he was doing it. And it was terrible. You felt your teeth clash against each other, and you were pretty sure it shouldn’t happen.

You pushed Kenny away from you.

“I suck.” you hid your face in his neck and Kenny smiled. Well, he did believe you, but now he has confirmed it, and any other suspicion of you actually having your first kiss has dissipated entirely from his mind.

“Hey, it’s okay. Look at me.” you stayed right there. You didn’t want to see him. You just wanted the earth to swallow you up to the center of the planet. Since you didn’t follow his instructions, Kenny moved so you could come out of your hiding spot. He grabbed you by the cheeks with only one of his hands, and your whole body jerked. He was a little bit rough, but by the reaction of your entire body, it appears that you liked it. He will keep that in mind.

“Do this.” He puckered his lips out so you could mirror his action. “Good girl, now, when you kiss me, you are going to pucker them out, ok? Try leaving them like that during the kiss.” you nodded.

He kissed you again, and you tried to leave your lips just as he instructed. It was better. You could feel his tongue brush against yours, and you felt a rush going through your whole body. As he moved his face to make the kiss last longer, you grabbed both of his arms. This was way better than what you thought. You just let Kenny guide you in the kiss. At one point, your tongues were dancing with each other, as if this was just so normal as if your mouths already knew what to do, as if you’d done this before. It felt natural. Of course, it wasn’t that perfect. You still felt your teeth clash, but not as much, and you always remember what he told you. He slowly pulled back and smiled.

“Better. You will improve. You just need more practice.” your mind was hazy. It was as if the kiss made you enter a trance that you didn’t want to come out of.

“You think?”

“Yes, and if you let me, I would love you to practice with me,” cheeky bastard. You forgot who you were with.

“And what do you get out of this, Ken?”

“Well, first, I would make sure that you get proper lessons from someone who at least knows what they’re doing.” 

“And you’re that person.” you laughed.

“And secondly, I can at least make sure that no one hurts you while practicing. I don’t want someone to hurt you,” you sighed. He may be right.

“But what about…” You didn’t know how to bring up the topic.

“Our friendship?” You nodded. You cannot lose him; he has always been that friend to you—always by your side, always up to whatever you wanted to do. “Don’t worry; we will always be the friends we’ve been—just with a little more perks, “ he assured you.

“Fine, but just friends with a little more perks.” For a reason, you didn’t want to say friends with benefits because that’s what basically meant. In your mind, saying what it is out loud would be a completely different thing. Like, he would only use you for that. And well, as for now, the only perk was kissing.

“I promise.” He showed you his pinky finger, and you closed the pact. Hey, it was just kissing, right? What could possibly go wrong?

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

n a v i g a t i o n

[vampirevatican]

Being Kenny McCormick's Wife

coming from the trenches and being able to see the future (thx postcovid) ong it's not that bad, fuck you fanfic nd canon cartman

he's rich and famous, like, nobel prize and putting up a science wing in his home town's school famous. so you bet your ass that you are treated like royalty and you are also in the news headlines at times

he'd buy you anything you wanted, has chefs and maids because he is a very busy man; so, you don't have to do any of that. "wifey duties?" no need. you are his queen, you are his equal.

huge cuddle man, definitely big spoon, but you gotta get him to stop messing around on his laptop if he's still in work mode.

he's still goofy, still a silly guy and he makes that obvious when he's not working on something big or important around the office or at home. scoops you up from behind in a bear hug and swings you around a bit

high-key pda, will start kissing your face all over infront of anyone. not at all ashamed of his baby and proud to show you off

if you're just as clever, a bit of a stem girlie, willing to aid in his works? he sings your praises the whole time and talks about it in any interview or at any event when asked about how he gets his ideas. you're shy, put yourself down, or humble yourself?? he's speaking for you, again you are equals and so much more than just a 'muse.'

[cathers-world]

Ok you guys know the joke behind Kyle being human kite right…

[ursa-tan]

That wasn't very heroic

—————

Kenny McCormick x Fem!Reader

Kenny is on the run from the cops and needs a safe place to hide, so he chooses a house and breaks in. Little does he know, the occupant is still awake... But surprisingly, she isn't too upset to see him

Kenny can feel the snow crunching under his feet as he runs, fresh and crisp, compressing with each footfall. The sirens wail in the distance, slowly growing quieter as he continues to run – the flashing blue and red lights fade in time. He needs a safe house and he needs one fast.

The thought of a house right on the edge of town pops up. It’s a small place, if he remembers correctly, with two people inside at most. Maybe the police would check there first, have a single smart thought between them and check the most out of the way house.

Doesn’t matter, not as Kenny approaches the house. None of the lights are on, but one of the second story windows is cracked open ever so slightly. If it isn’t locked in position, then there’s just enough room for him to slip his fingers under the window and crack it open the rest of the way. If it is locked, then… Well, Kenny’s never had a problem with a little bit of property damage.

Finally reaching the side of the building, he begins to scale the brick. Wall running has never been a problem for him, especially not after years of practice. There is a hole in a brick about halfway up between the first story and second story. This makes it easy for Kenny, giving the chance to practically launch himself off a lower window ledge and use the hole to hoist himself the rest of the way up.

Luckily for him, the window isn’t locked in position – in fact, it slides open incredibly easily. So easy actually that it nearly makes Kenny lose his balance and topple backwards. He manages to recover at the last second, digging his nails into the wooden frames though his gloves. It hurts, tugging slightly at his fingertips, but its enough purchase for him to pull his body forwards and tumble into the room.

After the tumble, he finds himself splayed out on his back, arms and legs outstretched in a starfish position. He’s laying on top of a fluffy rug, a large round shaggy rug that’s tucked partially under the foot of a bed. It’s a sweet cherry blossom pink colour, slightly faded from sun bleaching, making it closer to white.

He sits up, rubbing the back of his head from here he had smacked it upon landing. The room is bathed in a soft yellow tinged light, making it feel warm. A sweet scent is also lingering in the air, a mixture of vanilla and cinnamon. It only takes Kenny a second to see that the smell is coming from a nearly burnt down candle shaped like an anatomically correct heart.

There’s a door to the left, positioned right next to a desk with paper strewn about. Soft rock music is thumping gently behind the door. Kenny doesn’t pay attention to it however, instead choosing to haul himself up and investigate the desk.

The paper looks like it was ripped straight from a sketch book. Its nice and thick and has a textured feel to it that’s noticeable even through Kenny’s gloves. There are many half-done and crossed out sketches all over the paper, ranging anywhere from furniture to still lives.  A small leather-bound sketch books catches Kenny’s eye, however, as its partially tucked away. Whoever it belongs to had obviously attempted to hide it.

He takes a moment, pulling out the rolling desk chair and sliding into it, picking up the book and turning it over in his hands for a few seconds. He brings it to his nose, taking a deep inhale – an earthy smell takes the place of the sweet one from just moments earlier. He holds the book close to his face for a second before letting it drop, exhaling and turning the book the right way around in his hands again. He can tell its bound in real leather.

Just as he pulls the cord from around the book, cracking it, the door next to the desk shifts open. The soft rock plays a lot clearer now, accompanied by the mumble singing of a young woman. She has a towel wrapped around her hair, keeping it up and out of her face.

She doesn’t notice him at first, walking out of the en suite bathroom and over to her bed. She shuffles around in the sheets for a second, looking for something Kenny is unaware of. It takes a second before she stands back up again, holding a hair brush in her right hand and using her left to smooth out her sheets again.

When she turns around, Kenny is sure that – for a second at least – that she doesn’t see him. But she does. And she screams. Not any words, just a short, sharp, terrified scream. To punctuate it, she throws the hair brush at him. It doesn’t hit, however, instead smacking into the wall quite a bit to the left of his head before clattering to the floor.

“You done?” Kenny rasps out, making sure to put on his Mysterion voice in order to keep up with the bit.

She takes a deep breath, standing up properly and dusting something off of her pyjamas that isn’t actually there. Her eyes narrow as she stares at him, scanning over him. They freeze for a second, staring into his eyes before she sighs, relaxing.

“Why are you in my room?” It’s a reasonable question really, but Kenny is still offended that she didn’t get at least a little excited to see a superhero in her room.

“Running from the cops, needed a place to lay low for a little before heading home,” He keeps his voice monotone as he talks. “Can’t risk someone finding out who I am.”

“What did you do to make the cops chase you?”

“What’s with all the questions?”

“Answer or I’ll call the cops.”

“Ok!” He holds his hands up in surrender, facing his palms towards her as a sign of defeat. “Cops just don’t tend to like it when you stick your nose in their business… Or solve their crimes for them… Repeatedly… By beating people up… So, when they saw me, they decided to chase me, that enough information?”

“I guess it’ll do.” She crosses her arms, cocking her hip a little. Her eyes don’t move from him for a few seconds. But then they flit down to the small book in his hands and bulge out of her head ever so slightly. “Give me my book.”

“This one?” He holds it up, smirk coming across his face as he stands. “The leather-bound book?” He holds it in his right hand, pointing to it with his left.

“No, the one behind you – Yes that one!” She storms over, even thought its only a few steps, and reaches for it.

Kenny holds it away from her, pushing his arm behind him as she goes for it. He can’t help but giggle at her frustration as she attempts to reach around him for it. He just passes it into his other hand, holding it in front of himself as she circles around him.

“Don’t you want it?” He finds himself suppressing laughter as she practically growls, desperately trying to grab the book.

“Yes! Of course I want it!” She goes to snatch it but he moves his arm too quickly, holding it above his head.

She grumbles, standing in front of him and staring up at the book. A second of silence passes before she places a hand on his chest and bends her legs slightly. Kenny immediately knows what she’s about to do but doesn’t have time to react as she jumps. She managed to snag the book, gripping it between her finger and pulling it back from him as she comes back down.

As soon as she’s back on the ground, she’s stepping away and turning her back to him. Kenny can’t help but take a few steps forwards and peer over her shoulder as she flips through the book. He’s shocked to see that the book is full of sketches from people around town. He recognises a few faces, mainly that of Wendy and Bebe just going about their days. It’s not till he sees his own face, mostly covered by his signature orange parker, that he gasps. She jumps forwards upon hearing it, turning around to glare at him.

“What are you doing?” She growls, snapping the book shut and holding it close to her chest.

“I was just seeing what was in the book… You’re a pretty good artist,” he speaks with amazement, eyes shining slightly.

“I… oh, well, thank you,” She mumbles, face flushing red for a few seconds before she clears her throat and stands up straight.

“You draw a lot of people?” Kenny finds himself genuinely interested, especially considering that he can barely remember seeing the girl in front of him anywhere around school.

“Yeah... Normally just my friends, but sometimes other people too. I don’t want to come off as creepy though, so I try to refrain,” She sighs, looking down at the book in her hands.

“Why don’t you draw me?” He chuckles, mostly joking but still backing up to the desk chair from earlier. Sitting himself down, getting as comfortable as he can while also striking a mockingly mysterious pose – the sort of thing you would see in a bad superhero movie.

She giggles slightly, sitting on her bed and tucking her legs up under her, crossing them. There’s a pencil on the nightstand that she picks up, flipping open her sketch book and immediately beginning to sketch.

“Don’t move, I want to get this right,” she laughs, eyes flickering between the page she’s working on and his form.

“So, I never caught it, what’s your name?”

“You never asked, but it’s (Y/n).” She looks up from her book for a second, stopping her sketch for a momentarily to smile at him. Kenny can’t help but feel heat rise to his face, flushing it a light pink. “Now stay still, that includes talking.”

Kenny chuckles at the words, settling in for however long this is going to take. He can feel his muscles start to ache after a while. He has to resist the temptation to get up and stretch, to shake his muscles out. But looking at (Y/n)’s face, seeing the sparkle of concentration in her eyes as she sketches, watching her tilt her head ever so slightly as she continues, pushes him to continue.

Neither of them can tell how long passes before (Y/n) finally looks up, rolling her neck to make it crack. She places the pencil on top of the open sketch book, resting them both on the bed, and looks up at Kenny.

Kenny can see the sketch, its amazingly done. The proportioning and anatomy looks just right, along with the shadows – yet he can’t really say anything, its not like he knows much of anything about art.

“So, what are you gonna do now?” (Y/n) speaks up, breaking his trance and tearing his eyes away from the book. He settles on her face, observing her carefully.

“Well… I think its safe to head back so…” He doesn’t finish his sentence, there’s a part of him that doesn’t want to.

“That’s fair,” she trails off halfway through her sentence, moving to fiddle with the leather cord of the book, “ I should probably be going to bed.”

There are no further words exchanged, only Kenny watching (Y/n) fold the cover back over the book and place it back on her bedside table. She smiles softly at him and he can see something almost sad in her eyes. But he knows he has to go – and so he does.

Slipping out the way he came in, prying open the window with much more tenderness this time. It feels like a much farther way down than it was coming up, but that’s never stopped him before. Hanging from the window ledge by his fingertips, Kenny looks inside to say goodbye to (Y/n). Her eyes are acutely focused on his, watching his every movement, everything down to the way he breathes.

He finds that his tongue it thick in this throat, glued to the roof of his mouth, unmoving. Kenny can’t say anything despite the fact that he wants to so badly. So, in leu of speaking, he raises one hand in a half wave and then drops from the window ledge.

The snow partially breaks the fall when he hits the ground, giving way under his body – but not by much. He knows his knees are going to hurt in the morning. However, if (Y/n) thought that he looked cool, then it will have been worth it.

He turns on his heals, breaking into a fast jog back to his house, intending to get at least a little sleep before tomorrow. Unfortunately, he turns and runs so quickly that he doesn’t notice (Y/n) come to the window to check for him.

By the time the next day rolls around, Kenny is already finding himself regretting dropping from a second story without rolling when he hit the ground. So much so he’s considering stepping out in front of the school bus as it pulls up so he can start the day anew.

“Hey dude.” Stan looks dead when he walks up, tired eyes and dishevelled hair. He stops next to Kenny, waiting at the bus stop.

“Hey!” Kenny’s voice is muffled and hard to make out, but to his friend who’s known him for most of his life, its not a problem in the slightest. “You look dead, what’s up?”

“Friend of mine called me last night to gush about the fact that Mysterion was in her house, wouldn’t shut up about it for hours… Went to bed at three in the morning,” He grumbles, hand coming up to pick some crust out of the corner of his eye as he speaks.

“Huh.” Kenny has to supress his surprise at the fact that Stan knows who (Y/n) is – let alone knows her well enough to stay up all night talking.

“She’s a massive Mysterion fan girl, even has one of those old t-shirts from ‘coon and friends’. Doesn’t wear it though, with it being a slur and all.” He looks down at the snow, kicking at a rock on the side of the road.

“Who’s your friend?” Kenny is carefully racking his mind to see if Stan has ever mentioned her before, to see if it’s appropriate to ask about her by name.

“A girl in our science class, (Y/n). We were assigned lab partners at the start of the year, she’s pretty cool.” He doesn’t really elaborate much more, tired eyes struggling to stay open.

Kyle arrives just moments before the bus, scurrying on and tracking snow in behind him. The driver shouts, but Kyle mumbles something and slides into the seat next to Kenny. However, Kenny isn’t paying attention at all – rather, he’s staring at Stan, who’s leaning over the back of the seat across the isle and talking to (Y/n).

Her face lights up as she talks to him, a beaming smile plastered on beside twinkling eyes. He can hear the faint sound of her laughter over the noise of the bus, laughing at Stan’s jokes. Jealousy rises in Kenny’s chest at the sight; he wants to be there, in Stan’s position, making her laugh, watching her smile so close up.

He takes his time when the bus finally stops, lingering behind while everyone else gets off the bus. (Y/n) is also taking her time, still chattering away with Stan. Well, she’s more chattering at Stan while he nods along, smiling through the sleepiness. He can’t take the feeling anymore, walking over to the pair and waiving.

“You gonna introduce me man?” Kenny places his hands in his pockets, smiling over at (Y/n). “There’s something familiar about you, have we met before?” He knows it might blow his cover but he just can’t help it. There’s something about her that makes him desperate to know more.

“Can’t say we have, I’m (Y/n), pleasure to meet you,” She speaks with a smile, holding out her hand as she does. Kenny grasps it, feeling how his hand wraps almost entirely around hers, and shakes.

“Pleasures all mine.”

[monvirtu]

hey, could u write kenny mccormick dating headcanons ? fem reader . tyy

𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐘

⋆ precis ~ what it's like dating kenny mccormick!

⋆ tags ~ profanity, mentions of smoke, drugs, teen!au, playful threats, and kenny being kenny.

⋆ notes ~ i hope you enjoy, and thank you for the request!

⋆        to nobody's surprise, kenny would be the biggest flirt during your relationship.

⋆        at first, you didn't understand how someone could be so flirty. where did he learn how to swoon you with just his words? it's how you both got together, after all—him flirting with you every second of the day.

⋆        but then you went over to his house, and the posters and magazines he had answered your question.

⋆        he threw them away as soon as you saw them and replaced them with photos you took of him and you.

⋆        but back to the point, kenny would be really good with his words. he knows exactly what to say to make you flustered, but the downside is that he often says it during the worst time.

"you know, you're stunning when you're pissed..." kenny spoke as you shot a scowl at him. "kenneth, you almost got yourself fucking killed!"

"the only thing that can kill me is your looks, sweetheart."

"i'm going to find the car that almost hit you and make them come back for a second try."

⋆        he would be very crafty when it comes to gifts.

⋆        since he doesn't have a lot of money, he has to find ways to make dates and gifts as good as possible.

⋆        because according to him, you deserve everything you've ever wanted.

⋆        you want to go to a fancy restaurant? he'll set up something like the movie 'lady and the tramp', and though it wouldn't be a fancy place, he makes it feel like you're in the fanciest restaurant in the world.

⋆        when it comes to gifts, they're often flowers he picked or stole from places—a little letter being attached in his messy handwriting. he tries to make it readable, but you still have to squint when it comes to certain letters.

⋆        this dude smokes a lot, by the way.

⋆        whether it be nicotine or weed, don't ask him how he got them, he smokes it. why? because why not? his parents used to smoke it all the time, so why shouldn't he?

⋆        he would smoke in front of you if you were okay with it, or he would even share if you wanted, but he has no problem smoking some other time if you were against it.

⋆        would he quit? he might try, but it wouldn't last awhile. at least he tried though, right?

⋆        he would introduce you to karen, in which she would absolutely love you.

⋆        she would literally drag you away from kenny when you both were supposed to be hanging out, but he doesn't care. he loves seeing his two favourite people getting along and laughing.

⋆        but he will pout about it just so you'll give him some affection later on.

⋆        he's a good cuddler, honestly. he would just smell like smoke all the time. but if you don't care, then cuddling him is heaven because he's like a heater with that jacket.

⋆         if it's cold out, which it usually is, he'll unzip his jacket and let you lay on his chest, and then zip it back of while holding you in his arms.

⋆        he'd be a sloppy kisser, though. not in a bad way, but he just likes to lazily kiss you unless you're just giving him a peck on the lips.

⋆        also, if you're insecure, you best believe that kenny won't allowed that.

⋆        you could be talking about a part of you that you dislike, and he'd just stare at you with narrowed eyes before standing up and kissing that area all over.

⋆        he's whipped for you, and because of that, he has no issue doing whatever it takes to make you see how stunning you are.

⋆        someone made a comment? bro's throwing hands like there's no tomorrow. you just dislike that part of your body? he's yelling sweet nothings until you make him shut up.

⋆        he'd talk about you all the time with his friends.

⋆        even if you're not a part of the topic.

"kenny, do you wanna go look at some xbox games?"

"only if my pookie can come."

"KENNY, TELL CARTMAN TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"cartman, shut the fuck up, i'm talking to my pookie."

⋆        yes, he'd call you his pookie. he's all about those stupid nicknames.

⋆        pookie, honey boo-boo, schnookims, my silly willy little cutie, you name it. he'll make up anything just to hear you sigh at the stupid things he says.

⋆        but the things he says doesn't even compare to what he does.

⋆        you like superheroes? he'll dress up as mysterion.

⋆        you have a favourite flower? he always finds a way to get it to you every morning.

⋆        he once got caught stealing a flower from his neighbours yard one day, and he ran for his life.

⋆        speaking of his life, he tells you everything.

⋆        and when you talk about yours, he'll listen. he's actually a good listener.

⋆        also, when he speaks in a muffled voice because of his parka? he'll unzip it a bit and whisper in your ear to tease you during school.

⋆        he will literally mumble about how much he loves you and when someone comes over, he'll just zip up his jacket and start talking in that muffled voice again like he wasn't just expressing his devoted love to you.

⋆        conversations with him can go from 1 to 100 real quick, by the way.

"kenny?" you question, and he looks up from the sidewalk as you both continued to walk hand-in-hand. he gave you a slight nod to continue what you were wanting to say.

"how much do you love me?" he raised his free hand to unzip his jacket a bit, and he gave you a slight smile. "to the moon and back."

you smiled at him as you squeezed his hand, and suddenly, he smirked. "speaking of back, does my ass look fat today? i caught you staring earlier."

"KENNNY, NOBODY IS LOOKING AT YOUR ASS!"

"now, that's a lie. it's so fat that it takes up everyone's vision."

"i will shove you into oncoming traffic," your threat only made him snicker.

"my ass will act like an airbag."

⋆        aside from that, life's just like a comedy show with kenny.

©𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐔𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

writings are to not be reposted, translated, or plagiarized. if you wish to show your love for my work, feel free to reblog, comment, or like.

[hunnysnoops]

˗ˋ𝕎𝕙𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕥𝕙 𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕟𝕤ˊ˗

Chapter One: Undone

Kylie Broflovski x fem Reader

If you want to destroy my sweater, pull this thread as I walk away.

Also available on Ao3 and Wattpad!

Premise: Despite having almost inseparable families, you and Kyle couldn't hate each other anymore than you already. The second you saw him you had your claws out and we would be ready to hold a knife to your throat, like wolves you devoured each other until a bump in the road sent you tumbling into a new dynamic. Maybe you two can find new ways to fall apart.

Warnings: Vulgar language+humour / mentions of smoking and drugs / Cartman gets called fat

MASTERLIST

Kyle was the only one who knew how truly competitive you were. He couldn't figure out how no one else saw especially during your sports matches, you always had to be forward, had to score the last point, had to win, and you craved it as compulsively as the nicotine you sucked from your fingernails when you ran out of cigarettes to burn through.

Your parents had always been close to Kyle's since high school allegedly; being constantly forced to jump back and forth between each other's houses for family dinners and game nights didn't aid in the fact that you wanted to tear each other's throats out with razor-sharp teeth. They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder and this absurd proximity made the both of you sick with a frothing rage.

You couldn't pinpoint exactly where this hatred started, it was likely back in middle school where it was taboo for boys and girls to hang out, and those kids acted like it breached scripture if you did. Truthfully you didn't remember being friends but there was photo evidence of you playing as children so you couldn't deny it.

He has seen every inch of your life inside and out from the seventeen years that you were cursed to spend side by side. He knew that you had some fun habits such as swallowing back a little bit of synthetic sunshine in the form of little tabs of acid and how you would take a joint for a stroll in the dead of night.

For every secret he held over your head, you dangled one of his right before his green eyes. This is the only thing that kept all hell from breaking loose.

"Good practice girls, I'll see all of you on Thursday," Coach Jackson said, with no indication of pride for the team's gruelling efforts on her tanned face, not even a dribble of sweat on her brow since all she did was stand in place and yell at you.

As soccer practice finally came to a close the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon, casting an orange glow on the team where you all lay on the ground of the pitch next to your bags, trying to catch your breath. Nichole chugged down her water so fast that it was dribbling down her chin and droplets had soaked into her tee shirt.

You were the most composed of all of them despite being a little short of breath, you wiped the sweat from the bow of your lip and began to peel off your sweaty shin guards.

"How are you so okay?" Annie asked, red-faced, strands of her curly blonde hair sticking out and flying loose in the wind while she sipped on a Gatorade.

You shrug "I run a lot," It was the truth, you liked the feeling of burning in your lungs along with the fact that you built up good stamina and in turn were able to withstand your coach's harsh practices.

"I should start running with you," Annie says, panting heavily before she throws herself flat against the cool grass.

"I don't know if you could keep up," There's something of a smile playing on Red's face while she shoves her gross gear into her duffle bag. "I see her run by my house every night." She had a bit of trouble keeping her shag cut tied back in a ponytail, any attempt to get the layers to stay in a braid or bun was futile so she settled on a black headband to at least keep it out of her face.

Off in the distance, Bebe honked her car horn, she had shown up early to pick up her friends and due to this in the last fifteen minutes of practice you could hear classic Justin Bieber blasting faintly from her car. "Annie, we gotta go," Nichole says.

"Ugh," Annie draws out in her dazey state. Nichole paid her friend the service of grabbing her bag and trying to drag her up to her feet.

"C'mon," Nichole mutters, hooking an arm around Annie and yanking her up to her feet. Annie finds her own footing and detaches herself from Nichole, she's still in her shin guards and cleats. "Are you coming to Wendy's later?" Nichole looks at you, sweat shimmering on her ebony skin beneath the setting sun.

You think about it for a moment before ultimately shaking your head "I gotta pick my brother up."

"What about after?"

"Too crammed with homework," You were lying through your teeth, your social battery was just running a little low and things with your dad weren't going too great. You made the decision that you needed to lock yourself in the bathroom run the shower over your skin and scrub until the water washed away the stress of your week or get high with Kenny until you felt your face go numb. Just something along those lines.

"Too bad," Annie frowns, eyes half-lidded and breathes shallow.

"See you tomorrow then," Red waves at you before heading to her car, bright hair sticking out in the green landscape.

“Love ya, Red,” You look around at the rest of your team, all cooling down and conversing "Anyone need a ride home?" Everyone looks around and shakes their heads "Isla?"

"No," She says "I'm going with Kelly."

"Alright," You sling your bag over your shoulder, clutching your carabiner in hand, it has a little keychain of a Volkswagon bus on it, a cowboy hat knick-knack and of course your actual keys. "Bye guys, see you on Thursday."

Your words are met with collective 'goodbyes' from the girls. You walk off the pitch, and despite your legs feeling like jello you manage to step off of the grassy field and land on concrete, lazy steps leading you back to your car.

Tossing your bag into the backseat, you tap around on your phone to connect to the speaker, turn it up as loud as it goes and roll down your windows. You liked your music so loud that you couldn't even hear your own thoughts, just your playlist on shuffle as you absentmindedly sang along to it. You grabbed some body spray and doused the car in it to cover up the subtle linger of cigarettes from your late-night drive the previous evening.

The air was warm and carried the scent of fresh-cut grass as you drove through the familiar suburban streets. With the windows down, you felt the gentle breeze tousle your hair, a welcome relief from the day's heat. You hummed along to the music, mind drifting as you navigated the familiar route.

As you turned the corner onto the neighbour's street, the sun painted the sky in a breathtaking array of colours - hues of orange, pink, and purple blending seamlessly against the evening sky. You couldn't help but steal a moment to admire the beauty of the sunset, the vibrant colours reflecting in your eyes. It was nearing six pm when you finally pulled into the Broflovski driveway.

You step out, looking a little worse for wear. You had taken off your shin guards and cleats but left the knee-high socks on as well as a tee shirt with the Park County cows logo on it and a pair of athletic shorts. It was one of the warmer days since it was nearing summer though South Park had a way with erratic weather that couldn't make up its mind, you were sure there would be a storm tomorrow to cancel out the nice weather.

Knocking on the door, you put on a smile, expecting to see Gerald or Sheila though you were unpleasantly met with their oldest son, Kyle. Your smile drops immediately and it's easy to see that he isn't too excited to see you either. "Oh." You push passed Kyle and into his house "Weston," You call out "Time to go!"

Kyle wrinkles his nose "You smell like hand sanitizer," He says, speaking on all of the body mist you had sprayed in the car.

"And you look like orphan Annie," You turn quickly to face him before calling up the stairs "Weston, let's go!"

"Did you leave your windows down at the car wash?" His eyes rake up your body at your sweaty form, little strands of hair sticking to your neck. 

"Go on Accutane, matchstick," You retort. This nickname came about when Kyle began to outgrow his friends, with a lanky body and a mop of curly red hair, the nickname struck you in a moment of genius. As of now, he was wearing his hat, he hardly ever took it off, especially out in public. You'd only seen it come off his head when he was swimming or when his mom forced it off.

Something about the Broflovski house was always comforting even if you hated one-fourth of the family, you loved the other three. The scent of whatever Sheila was cooking always lingered in the air, right now the smell was sweet and faint. You assumed she hadn't been home but caught a glimpse of a cookie rack set out on the kitchen counter. 

His eyebrows furrow "My acne isn't even that bad," He was right, you just knew that it got under his skin "Crash," He says, a little less creative than your nickname for him, born from the time you did acid and woke up in his backyard, luckily before his parents noticed you but not after Kyle took pictures of you passed out on the grassy lawn as well as a few rumours that had been spread about you.

"Sure, ginger, sorry you have a hard knock life," You had run out of insults to call him after seventeen years. In middle school, you ripped on him constantly for how scrawny he was along with voice cracks and his acne, though in recent years, he had passed puberty, had a deeper voice, sorted out his pimple issue, and taken to running, basketball, lacrosse, and going to the gym to tone up. You could still rag on him for it but it has less impact when it wasn't true and god knows you wouldn't go mocking his religion, you may have hated him but you had morals. All you had left to make fun of was his hair colour.

It was similar to the way he couldn't make fun of you for being ugly, unpopular, or stupid like he used to since puberty hit you like a bus and you were almost unrecognizable from the brace-faced awkward kid you used to be. You were also a little too confident and erratic for his liking. 

You were going to make your way upstairs to Ike's room where you assumed the two boys had been until you heard the familiar sound of upbeat electric rhythms and horribly overacted lines of Fury Fighters, a classic 1v1 fighting game. You move away from Kyle and turn in to the living room where you see your little brother and Ike on the couch, hyper-focused on the game ahead of them. "Did you go deaf suddenly or were you just ignoring me?"

"I was ignoring you," Weston says, bluntly. His hair is an untamed mess and the collar of his wrinkled tee is stretched out. He doesn't even look back at you but Kyle cracks a smile at his words.

"C'mon shrimp, we gotta go," You say, crossing your arms.

He lets out a groan "Can I stay like thirty more minutes?"

You shake your head "Nah, Kyle's cologne is giving me a headache."

Ike snorts a laugh and glances back at his brother, his smile falls when he looks at you; he's putting on his tough guy persona. He clears his throat and deepens his voice in the slightest "What's up?" It was clear that the little brother had a crush on you though no one brought it up, you could tell it bothered Weston.

"Hey, Ike," You give him a tight-lipped smile, watching as he turns back to the TV, fingers clicking over the controller aggressively. "You can finish this round and we're out."

"Yes!" Weston says "Thanks, love you," He says with haste, thinking that it'll butter you up.

You plop yourself on the carpeted floor in front of the couch to watch the match play out. Ike was playing as Tempest, a mage who was wise and old, a long white beard yet he somehow had an absolutely shredded pixel body. Weston was playing Sable, a pink-haired woman in a short nurse's uniform who used surgical tools as weapons, she was your go-to back when you still played Fury Fighters with your friends. You would refuse to play as a man because it breached your pre-teen code of feminism.  Watching them play made you feel nostalgic. 

Kyle leans his elbows on the back of the couch, hands clasped together to watch the game, the same as you. "Kick his ass, Weston," Kyle says, rooting for your brother, purely to annoy his.

"Hey!" Ike exclaims though he doesn't move his unwavering gaze from the game "Whose side are you on?"

"Smoke him, Ike!" You say, a little louder than intended to balance out the cheering section. 

Sheila always kept the household neat which was a miracle with Ike and Weston always running around, recently she had taken to a love of houseplants and had at least one in every corner of the home. There were framed pictures strung up on every single wall without fail, lots of the family, Sheila's wedding day, and a collection of you and Kyle actually getting along when you were kids. There's one of the two of you playing under a sprinkler in rain boots, another of you standing and smiling brightly by a snowman you made, and a picture of Kyle covering all of your little scrapes in Spider-Man band-aids. In every photo of you after the age of seven, you were with the rest of your families on opposite ends, as far away from each other as you could get.

You look back to the TV where Ike's character, Tempest summons the dead with his staff, grey decaying hands rise from the 2D ground and drag Sable down. "Fuck!" Weston yells, panic quickly spreading across his face, his eyes shoot back and forth frantically from the controller to the TV. 

Sable jumps back up and readies herself into a fighting stance, Tempest moves his staff, a green diamond on the end, horizontally and jabs Sable in the stomach over and over until she rolls back to the ground. Ike has a huge grin on his face, shaggy black hair framing his pale features, he desperately needed a haircut but for now, he was relishing in watching Sable's health bar move down.

"By the elements, I shall prevail!" Calls out Tempest, his voice actor had really put his all into making him sound deep and gruff. Ike randomly spams the buttons, sending out an erratic combo. The characters were fighting in the center of a dark alley, blue and red lights flashing every few minutes.

Sable pulls a long scalpel out of her thigh-high socks and charges towards Tempest, slashing him. When Tempest's health bar falls, Sable speaks out a voice line "Every wound has a remedy," Her sultry voice makes you cringe just the slightest, you hadn't remembered her to sound so sensual.

Tempest rises back up, jumps toward Sable and greets the character with a heavy uppercut, sending her flying through the air. You find your fingers digging into the carpet, you had hoped that Sable would win just from the fact that you used to play as her. You almost wanted to grab the remote from your brother's hand and show him how to play as her, you had memorized all of her combos and moves, and they became muscle memory to you. "You're demise is written in the stars!" The buff wizard raises his hands to the sky, gearing up to cast one final blow.

In the midst of this, Sable jumps up, pulls a bone saw out from behind her back and slices Tempest's head clean off before he can finish casting his spell. Ike drops his controller, moving his hand to grab his hair, eyes wide and mouth agape in shock while he watches his character's health bar plummet to zero. The wizard's head rolls around on the pixel ground before Sable picks it up and kisses it "Nurse's orders: Stay down," She says before drop-kicking the head out of frame. A title card covers up the scene that reads 'It's a wrap!’

"Fuck yeah!" Weston says, giving Kyle a firm high five. He looked happier than you had seen him all week, middle school was kicking his ass and you had to pull some time aside almost every night to help him with algebra. You would've scolded him for playing video games instead of studying for his social studies test if you hadn't been doing the same at his age. 

"How the hell did you do that?" Ike's head whips to look at his friend who just shrugs.

You push yourself off the floor, giving your brother's hair a little tussle "Let's go, shrimp." 

With a groan Weston up to slip his shoes on at the rack, "See you tomorrow, Ike," He grabs his bag where it sits by the coat stand. Kyle hurdles himself over the couch, taking Weston's place on the sofa and picking up the free controller to play "Bye Kyle!" He says, lacing up his sneakers.

Kyle looks over the couch and at him with a smile "See you later buddy."

The second you think Weston is looking away you stick up the middle finger to the red-headed boy across from you but it surely didn't go unnoticed "Why are you flipping Kyle off?" Weston asks, furrowing his eyebrows as he looks up at you.

You drop your hand "I'm not, I was waving at him." You lie, trying to form a cover-up. You place a hand between his shoulder blades to guide him out the door.

"You're sweaty," He comments.

"Thanks, I had no idea," You open the door and close it behind you before Kyle can say anything to your brother's remark. It's already colder than when you entered the house and you race to get to the car before you get a chill.

Weston hops into the passenger seat, scrunching up his nose at the music you're playing "Can you put on Lil Shovel?" He asks. It was one of the many rappers he had attempted to imitate. He thought they were cool for decking themselves out in designer brands and sticking dollar bills into women's thongs in music videos.

"I'm not playing that shit," You start the car and turn out of the driveway.

"Why?"

"Because it makes me want to hammer nails into my ears," You answer, eyes focused in the road while you glide through the suburban street. "Listen to Eminem or something."

"Dad doesn't like Eminem."

You wrinkle your nose "Why?"

"Because he said that thing about the gerbil."

Recognition hits you and you nod "Yeah, that checks out," Your dad was a pretty modest guy, he didn't care about anything overly vulgar. He basically mandated your life, he was the reason you were in so many extracurriculars and were the last person in your grade to get a phone, something Kyle would've teased you for if your parents weren't so similar.

"Can you drive me and Ike to the quarry on Friday?" Weston has one hand sticking out of the window moving it up and down like it was a plane, it was something you used to do before you were the one driving, a little mannerism he picked up off you.

"I have track practice and then I gotta help Heidi and Wendy with their fundraiser, sorry, shrimp," You take note of every house you pass, swearing you could put a name to every single one. You felt the fatigue hit you all at once, you knew that night your bed would become a casket and you would have to be pried from it like a floorboard. "Ask Kyle." 

"We did, he has basketball practice."

"Bummer," You say. It had slipped your mind completely that he was on the team and you hated it and how your friends gushed about Kyle before catching themselves and sending you apologetic glances. "Guess you gotta bike then."

You remember when you were your brother's age, twelve years old and you came home every night at sunset with a new scrape to show for the adventure you set out on. You gave bruises out like gifts and collected them like stickers, some sort of pride when parents would silently judge you for having purple busted-up knees.

"Mhm," He nods "Hey, can we go to Burger King?"

"No," You say almost immediately "Mom's making dinner right now."

Weston scrunched up his nose "Yeah but she had the crock pot out on the counter when I left for school today," Nothing good came from your mother's crock pot. "Can we please get Burger King?"

"First of all, Mom will kill me if I load you up with more fast food, second of all, she's gonna make you eat her dinner anyways, so just be nice and tell her it's good."

"Ugh," He grumbles watching wistfully into the distance, his thoughts stuck on the combo he was craving. "I should've stayed at Ike's for dinner."

"Yeah, me too," News of the dreaded crock pot had only worsened your day. Sheila on the other hand was an incredible cook, as much as you loved your mom and the effort she put into her meals, nothing would compare to Sheila's brisket. The thought of it almost made your stomach grumble. If you lived with Broflovski's you would've weighed three hundred pounds more. 

Your mind ricochets back and forth between going home or heading to Wendy's with the rest of your friends though the thought of being alone with tobacco burning your throat soothed you.

The drive from the Broflovski's to yours wasn't too long, truthfully, your brother was perfectly capable of walking. The sky transformed into a canvas of deepening shades, the last traces of sunlight giving way to the embrace of twilight. You stole glances at your brother, his animated chatter filling the car with warmth.

You park the car in the driveway behind your dad's car, he would surely yell at you to move it in the morning but that was a problem for future you and a decision you would regret making. You pull up on the street right in front of your house. Weston was quick to hop out of the car, he rushed across the lawn and waited by the front door for you to turn off the car, but you didn't, you just watched and waited for him to go inside.

"Are you coming?" Weston asked.

You stick your head out of the window "Tell Mom I'm stopping by Red's, I'll be back before dinner," Weston rolls his eyes at this, he didn't care for Red, since you started being friends with her you had even less time to spend with your brother. Nights of staying up late with Weston and playing Stardew Valley turned into you hanging out with your friend and getting high. 

"Tell Rebecca to eat a dick!" Weston cups his hands around his mouth.

"I won't do that but good suggestion," You call back before stepping on the peddle and moving back down the familiar streets. It was just past six and there hadn't been anyone outside, everyone was tucked away in their respective home, warm lights from windows spilling into the darkening sky. 

You didn't go to Red's, you just kept driving until you ended up at a gas station on the outskirts of town. It had long passed the dinner you promised to be home for, instead of eating the crock pot monstrosity, you opt for something with a sweeter taste, a cigarette and a bag of teriyaki beef jerky. You sat on the curb watching cars roll past, their headlights framing you like you were on stage. You just craved the aloneness you so rarely got.

You shuffle through the cafeteria line, undecided on what you want to eat but settling on one of those sugar-free drinks that are worse for you than just grabbing a regular soda for a drink. "Keep it moving, Junkie," Cartman says from beside you. God how he irked you, it was in his nature to be unbearable.

"What? Not like it's going anywhere, I'm more worried for the people in line behind you who have to eat crumbs."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" He asks adding a paper plate of ribs to his tray and then another.

"It means you're fat."

He shrugs "Doesn't bother me," Cartman had grown to be a little more self-aware, by a little I mean a very small smidgen.

"You're a fat-fat fatty, keep eating fatty," your voice was unwavering. You hadn't had too much of a problem with Cartman throughout school, sure he had been a dick but you never interacted enough for him to be on your radar until he started a rumour about you shooting up heroin in the janitors closet which led to him telling everyone you were a drug dealer. This cursed you with the nicknames of crash, popper, and of course, junkie. When it first happened you weren't even aware, you just sat confused about why everyone was adding your Snapchat and asking about buying stuff from you. Eventually, staff caught wind of this and it only got worse from there.

"Fuck you, crash," He sticks up a middle finger at you "You're a dyke."

You return the gesture "At least I get pussy, lard ass."

"I have tons of sex, you faggot."

"Your hand doesn't count," You say examining the food in the chafing dishes which looked surprisingly good for school food.

"I don't care if you're a girl, I will kick your ass," He starts to get in your face but you don't bother to acknowledge it, still looking through the food options. 

"I bet if I pushed you over you would just keep rolling."

"Whatever bitch."

"Hurry up, butterball," Bebe cuts in front of Eric who has a look of pure seething rage on his face. She looks beautiful as always, blonde curly hair falling in perfect ringlets and framing her dainty face. She's wearing a red off-the-shoulders sweater and low-waisted jeans, it's such a simple outfit but Bebe manages to make it look unique and expensive.

"Fuck you, Bebe," he turns a middle finger to her, "Go shoot up with your little lezzy girlfriend." That was another rumour that he successfully sparked, that you and Bebe were secretly dating. The two of you found it funnier than the heroin thing and played into it on occasion. 

"You're so fucking stupid," Bebe wrinkles her nose in distaste of the chubby kid in front of her "Don't crack the floor when you waddle over to your table, fat ass," She adds a yogurt parfait onto her tray and keeps moving down the line, you follow in suit.

The two of you hand the lunch lady your cafeteria card but your eye snags on something else entirely "Where's Wendy?"

Bebe looks in the same direction as you where your entire friend group sits, minus Wendy who you could've sworn was there only moments ago. Her tray still sat in front of her spot on the table "She's talking with Stan I think."

"What?" You look at the blonde text to you while you find your table "Are they getting back together or something?"

"She was saying she wanted to work things out with him last night, you'd know if you were there."

"Why didn't she tell me?" You furrow your eyebrows as you glance at Stan's regular table where he was also absent from. The second thing you noticed was how irritated Kyle seemed, likely because his best friend would be opting to spend time with Wendy again instead of him. Cartman plops himself down next to the ginger, only making Kyle more agitated. When Kyle looks away for a split second, Kenny steals food off his plate and blames it on Eric. “I would never steal food from a dirty Jew!” He says, voice carrying over every other conversation in the room.

"She might not have told because you can be a little-" Bebe searches around for a word that'll soften the message "Abrasive?"

"I'm not abrasive," You say as you sit yourself down at the cafeteria table, immediately met by curious glances from the rest of your friends. This made you question yourself. Had you been so blunt that your best friend didn't want to tell you what was going on in her life? Yes. You didn't know how else to be, it was wired into your system; born from the way you were raised, like a wild animal who fought for scraps, if you didn't kill, you wouldn’t eat. Your family wasn’t really complete, it was more like something like a mom who worked herself to rust and a dad who popped in and out like some kind of disappearing act.

No one bothers to dig deeper into your sentence, already enraptured in their conversation. "I wonder how Tolkien feels about it," Lola asks, leaning in a little to where Nelly sits on the other side of the table, seemingly hanging onto every word.

"I know!" Nelly says, unable to fight the smile that formed on her face every time she gossiped "Did you notice how he isn't sitting where he usually is." At this, everyone turns their heads to Tolkien's regular table, where he’s MIA from.

Halfway through sucking the meat off of his ribs, Cartman notices everyone at your table staring them down. He glances around the table before deciding that you are looking at him, barbeque sauce smeared over his mouth and down his fingers. "What the fuck are you looking at?" He calls out, now drawing the attention of the cafeteria to you and your friends who quickly avert their gazes back to their food.

You meet Kyles's eyes for just a moment, you can read loud and clear that he's annoyed Wendy's back in the picture and she'll be poaching his best friend from him. Despite the act he's trying to portray of being indifferent, you can tell there's a storm brewing beneath his green eyes.

In your pocket, your phone buzzes and you look at it.

McWhoremick: what was that about?

You: Cartman looking rancid

McWhoremick: fair

McWhoremick: wanna hang later?

You: fo sho

You: junkyard?

McWhoremick: yup

McWhoremick: see ya :P

"What's that?" Red peaks down at your phone from next to you, her chin resting on your shoulder "Is it Wendy?"

"She's been weird lately," Jenny says, she doesn't look up from her mac and cheese, just pushes it around absentmindedly with her fork.

"Probably because all of you are talking about her like she's not our friend," Heidi peeps up for the first time in the conversation. You're a little surprised that she's eating lunch with you, in recent days she's been so busy with sustainability club that it's taken up all of her lunch breaks.

Heidi was right as usual. It didn't feel right to be talking about Wendy when she was twenty metres away, it didn't feel right to talk about her at all. The group fell quiet at this, trying to search for another topic that didn't involve speaking poorly of your friend.

"So," Red starts "Who's excited for the basketball game?"

You really weren't, you had no intentions of going though you were sure your parents would make you go to support Kyle. "I think I'll go to watch Kyle," Nichole comments. Your head whips to look at her immediately, it only made sense that she was over Tolkien after what happened with Wendy but you hadn't expected her to go for Kyle.

"Uh oh," Annie says, a small smile playing on her face. Lately, she had taken good care of her curls, a stark difference from the frizzy mess that was stuck on her head all through middle school.

"Nichole," You say, staring her down "Are you okay?"

"Sorry to say this," Bebe pipes up, not one hundred percent tuned into the conversation "He actually isn't the piece of shit that you make him out to be."

"You don't-

"Know him like I do?" Heidi finishes your sentence for you. Something you had repeated over and over again when trying to get your point across that he was evil and no one could see it but you.

"I'd do it," Lola shrugs and your face contorts in disgust.

"Ew," You say with haste, fighting the urge to gag on your food. "Do you guys realize that he's ginger under that hat?"

Everyone is unsurprised at your disdain for him, even though you tried not to talk about him so you didn't seem obsessed, every now and then, the start of a rant would slip out and that would turn into you rambling on and on about every little annoying detail about him. You wondered for a brief moment if he did the same when walking about you.

"What is it that you hate about him anyway?" Red asks.

You rack your brain for a truly solid reason you can't say that it irritated you how Kyle ran the opposite way of you on the trail on your nightly run, it was the most dreaded part of the day, brushing past him and pretending not to notice. You also couldn't delve into the fact that he always had a bored, unimpressed expression on his face when he talked to you. "Everything." You answer "I hate everything about him."

"Okay gang," Mr Waterman claps his hands together once everyone is finally seated. "I know we're getting close to the end of the year and it's exciting but there is always work to be done." He was in his thirties, a little on the shorter side, with brown hair, glasses, and lean for a teacher though it made sense since he doubled as the basketball coach. He had tried his best to be funny though his jokes usually fell flat but you found yourself laughing out of pity like it was second nature.

Wendy sat next to you, you hadn't pressed her about Stan (despite wanting to) and she hadn't brought it up. Kyle sits next to a guy whose name slipped through the cracks of your mind and stays completely silent while the teacher gives his spiel about hard work and effort.

"This will be our final seating change for the year, so if you're next to someone you don't like know it'll be over by the end of June," Mr Waterman sits himself at his desk dead in front of every lab table, shares his computer screen to the projector, showing the new seating arrangments "Alright, here are your lab partners until semester end."

You scan the whiteboard for your name and your breath hitches in your throat when you see it next to Kyles. Kyle whips his head to look at you, your gazes matching in utter terror. You had relished in the fact that You had gone the entire semester without talking to Kyle a single time in biology class.

There weren’t desks in the science labs but black tables built for two people since they worked out better for experiments, there you were stuck at the back of the class with the ginger demon spawn.

"Mr Waterman?" You raise your hand but speak before he even calls on you "You need to move me or I'll kill myself."

"Woah," He puts both of his hands out "Let's not joke about that-

"I'm not joking," You cut him off, tone dead serious. Wendy tugs at the hem of your shirt, trying to get you to sit back down, you just cast her a glance before looking back to the short teacher. "I will kill myself." 

"Can you and Kyle please come up here so I can talk to you," At Mr. Waterman's words, Kyle shoots you a malicious glare. 

"When you cause a scene about not wanting to sit next to someone it can be hurtful," Mr Waterman addresses you, his tanned hands grasped together. Bless his heart, Kyle thought he was getting in trouble and it would put a dent into his perfect record, the kid never even missed a day of school. You and Kyle stand side by side, in front of Mr Waterman's desk, careful to keep a distance between you.  "Think about how Kyle feels right now-

"I feel like I wanna slit my wrists." He deadpans, face unreadable as ever.

"Do you guys need someone to talk to?" Mr Waterman furrows his eyebrows, lowering his voice.

"No," You say, crossing your arms “Not unless it's to get a gun so I can blow my brains out."

"Okay," He repositions himself to sit taller "Can you please tell me why you don't want to sit next to each other, I'm sure we could work this out." You waste no time trying to get yourself away from Kyle, listing off all of his little habits that annoy you. Kyle, on the other hand, bites his tongue. He didn't want his teacher to think poorly of him, not when there was still a little over a month left of the worst year of school he'd ever put himself through.

"Kyle?" You furrow your eyebrows, waiting expectantly for him to go off on how you were disruptive and rude but he sort of just stood there. For a brief moment, you thought he was having a stroke.

"It's fine," At his words, your mouth goes ajar and your eyes widen. You had thought that the two of you stood in solidarity for one thing, you wanted to get away from each other. 

"Is it really?" You say through gritted teeth. 

"Yeah," He looks at you then back to Mr Waterman "It's just a childhood rivalry, we're just being immature," It took a lot for him to swallow his pride. Kyle just knew he had to get through June and then senior year would be smooth sailing. 

"Well," Mr Waterman says and you can tell he's prepping himself for a speech "It seems to me like the two of you could benefit from this seating arrangement. When you get jobs you won't get along with everyone you work with-

"We both have jobs already," You cut him off and Kyle shuffles awkwardly where he stands while the rest of the class chats idly and waits for the lesson to start.

Mr Waterman casts you a look and clears his throat before picking up where he left off "And I understand that sometimes, personalities clash, but we're a team here, and teamwork requires cooperation and understanding. You both have so much potential, but that potential can only be realized when you learn to work together, to support each other, and to lift each other up, rather than tear each other down."

Kyle's mind must've been somewhere else completely, it was like he was in airplane mode, nodding along to everything Mr Waterman was saying. Though you could feel boredom creeping up, fighting yourself to pay attention to the genuinely useless pep talk.

"I want you to take a moment and think about what it means to be part of a team," Mr Waterman urged, his voice gentle yet persuasive. "Think about the strength that comes from unity, the power that comes from collaboration, and the joy that comes from shared success. Both of you are strong students and I can see you doing very well working together on labs and assignments, okay?"

"Yup," You nod your head, giving a thumbs up so he would excuse you and this would blow over.

"Okay," Kyle says.

A smile forms on Mr Waterman's face, he leans further back into his desk chair. "I think I can sense a friendship forming here, now go take your seats."

You laugh awkwardly, quickly brushing past Kyle to sit in your new spot at the back of the class. You were stuck sitting next to Kyle and behind Eric Cartman, how did he get into AP biology? You weren't one hundred percent sure though you heard Isla say that it was a misplacement that never got corrected.

Once again, Mr Waterman calls the class to capture their attention. Writing about the new unit on the whiteboard in a red dry-erase pen that was squeaky and running out of ink. You ruffle through your backpack, trying to find your binder while everyone else is rapidly taking notes. You pull out a stack of textbooks and some personal reading for English, finally finding your science binder. 

"Why are you reading Mein Kampf?" He looks at the book that rests on top of the stack, it's old and beaten up and smells a bit like stale orange juice, the cover holds the jarring image of Adolf Hitler.

"Because I'm racist," You say, sarcastically but Kyle doesn't pick up on this and seems a little taken aback "Joking, obviously, it's for history."

He averts his eyes back to the whiteboard. Mr. Waterman speaks briefly on physiology, before wiping the board clean and unfreezing the projector where he set up a slide show. As most science teachers do, he clicks through the slide show and waits for his students to take notes, answering the few questions that the kids have.

"Shit," You mutter as the teacher skips to the next slide before you could finish copying what was on it. You glance at Kyle "Uh, did you write all of that down?”

Wordlessly, he pushes his paper towards you to copy it, he keeps his eyes trained on the board. His writing was neat, it looked like it could've been a font, each word spaced out almost precisely from the next. Cartman snakes his head around and then moves his entire body when he sees the two of relatively civil. 

"Jews got a boner for the junkie," Cartman says, a little louder than intended. Next to him, David looks beyond annoyed, he’s gripping his pencil so tightly that you wouldn’t be surprised if he broke it.

"Shut up, fatass," You and Kyle manage to say in sync before you look at each other in disgust that your thoughts matched up.

"I fucking hate high school." You say under your breath, turning to look back at your notes and pushing his back toward him.

"Me too," Kyle says and you're actually on the same page for a change, you're not sure if you like it.

A/N: I hate this but here it is anyway 😔 I promise it gets more interesting. Open to head cannons and requests rn. Thanks for reading!

[kira-broflovski]

kenny mccormick hcs: having a gf that loves kissing him

NOTE: i wasn't sure if you wanted hcs or a whole fic, so I made it hcs, if you want a certain part to be a fic let me know bc i fckn love kenny too :>

slightly steamy part at the end ;))

you love kissing him and he is so here for it.

he LOVES physical touch, so any of that good physical affection you give him makes him melt.

it's gotten to the point where he's cranky if he doesn't get them for a while: it's the first thing that happens when he wakes up, and the last thing before he sleeps.

you always make sure to pass him in the halls between classes to make sure you can give him a little kiss so he gets through the class.

if he's hanging out with his friends, Kenny will of course invite you. if you stay around you can give him all the kisses to your hearts desire. but if you can't stay long you come over to drop off some food you made for the 4 of them and kiss kenny.

^^ resulting in the others absolutely loving you, which would 100% make kenny jealous.

how to stop him from getting jealous? kiss him ofc!!

obviously, kissing him is never a problem considering you love to give him that affection he craves.

most of the time, your kisses will leave him wanting more so he'll have to pull you back for more.

^^ i'm sure that would lead to a lot of makeout sessions

seeing your flushed face and slightly swollen lips makes him proud of himself, especially if it was in front of someone that was trying to get with either of you.

most of the time, however, you'll just kiss him for no reason. other than the fact you just wanted to.

if he's feeling particularly needy, he will literally stop what he's doing and make you give him more kisses. he doesn't even care if it's front of his friends that may or may not make fun of him later.

you'll just cheer him back up with kisses when he got back.

i imagine so much affection will also make him quite,, hormonal

"More." He breathed out, to which you happily obliged. You continued to kiss various spots on his face, before he cupped your cheeks and kissed you deeply on the lips again and again.

Both of your hands roaming each other's bodies, just got his poor heart racing. Your kisses may easily soothe him, but they also easily turn him on.

"Y/N, you're driving me crazy." He whined.

[jewbeloved]

stan,kenny and wendy with a ghost s/o? like s/o died in south park (cause,i mean cmon,if you dont have plot armour are you really gonna survive?) and they just kinda haunt sp.they also have similar abilities to damien (flight,telekinesis,teleportation,ect),maybe they even have a human/physical form like him too 😃?

Stan, Kenny, and Wendy with a ghost s/o💙🧡🩷

warnings: Plasmophobia (If you have it)

Gender: Neutral

💙 Stan Marsh ⚽

Blud thought he was hearing things because someone kept calling his name and he didn't know where it was coming from.

Stan began to get irritated and demanded whoever was calling his name multiple times to show themselves.

You just now realized that you were invisible to Stan and he obviously cannot see you. So you make yourself visible while making the place around you cold asf.

The gif above is Stan's brief reaction before he jumps back in complete shock.

It took him a while to realize it was you but in the form of a ghost.....

Stan wasn't really close to you at all when you first came to south park. Probably because he didn't even notice you were there.

He did hear about one of the students dying on the news but he didn't think it was you.

But since you're a ghost that death that occurred confirms it was you after all. He feels guilty that he never spoken to you, not even once before you died.

You both started to have a lot of conversations with each other after your first meeting. Stan obviously snuck out during lunch or free time to go talk to you behind the school.

Stan always talked about you to Kyle though. Kyle thought he had a screw loose since Kyle can't even see you.

You like to tease Stan with your powers and scare him a lot. I'd like to think Stan always puffs his cheeks whenever he's angry and you find that cute :)

If physical contact was possible he would be so happy. If you allow him to be able to touch💙💙💙💙

🧡 Kenny Mccormick 🍄

You both already know about each other.

You always remembered the times Kenny has died and comforted him after he regenerates the next day.

But when he heard that you died he was so sad that he couldn't stop crying because you weren't immortal like him so you couldn't come back to life.

That all changed when he started shivering because his room got cold all of a sudden and this woke him up out of his sleep.

He thought that he accidentally left the window open so got up to go look, only for him to find out that it was never opened.

He then felt a soft tap on his shoulder and turned around immediately while flinching.

"Oh for heavens sake Kenny, It's just me (Name)...".

....................

.........................................................

Wait what?

A ghost?

You?

I guess he shouldn't be surprised just by seeing that. He was so happy and relieved to hear that it was just you.

You really came back to see him...well in a ghostly form anyway because you're dead.... Kenny's happy nonetheless!

You both can go back to interacting with each other again! But he's still a bit sad that he isn't able to feel your heartbeat anymore whenever he hugs you. Please cheer him up.

Since Kenny is immortal, you both can literally spend the rest of your lives together forever now that you're here <33333🧡🧡🧡🧡

🩷 Wendy Testaburger 💮

Like Kenny, you and her have known each other ever since you moved to south park.....or whatever you did in order to get there.

She one day saw that you weren't home at all and she panicked thinking you went missing.

It wasn't until your parents told her that you recently had died (Or if she finds out on her own if you don't have any parents).

You and her had a close bonding relationship and she was devastated to hear the news.

She will wear anything you had left behind before you died (hats, scarfs, etc.)

When she was cleaning out her locker for her next class. She saw a bunch of students running away from the janitor's closet, screaming about how the closet is haunted or something.

Wendy brushed it off as them being weird until Bebe told her that she saw a ghost in the closet. Wendy signed and went to check it out for herself since she trusts Bebe.

She opened the closet door and saw nothing inside.

She was about to go and confront Bebe for lying to her until she saw a ghostly figure that looked exactly like her.

She screamed until you shifted back into your normal self and reassured her that it was just only you.

She couldn't believe it, she always thought ghosts weren't real...how is it possible for someone to be able to see ghosts????

She's going through the five stages of grief right now that she can't even mutter another word out. Eventually she can't escape reality in the end.

She doesn't know exactly what to do now that she is seeing you again as a ghost?? But those tears streaming down her cheeks told you everything you needed to know about how she feels.

You noticed that she was wearing your stuff (If you had any) while you were hugging her.

You kept hugging and comforting her until she stopped crying. Telling her that you would never leave her even in death. 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

[sunny-ssunset]

Honest south park dating headcanons🔥💯

dividers by pinterest

Masterlist!

♡Im writing so much bc i literally have nothing else to do so enjoy 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯

♡Anyways honest headcanons about how i think the main 4 would act in a relationship with you (all aged up) mostly gender neutral but there is like mentions of boobies :)

TW Mentions of s*x, dr*gs and v*mit

Stan

•Honestly you wouldnt have to put much effort in to get with him

•Mother fuckers desprate for love

•Hes actually a bit of a wreck once you date him

•Crying because he is scared you'll leave him

•You are defo a rebound

•To be fair he'd start to fall for you though

•And because of that he'd throw up all over you

•He'd break up with you if wendy said she missed him

•In his eyes theres always someone better

•And im sorry but he moves on fast

•If wendy breaks up with him again though

•Expect a drunk call at 3 am saying how much he misses you and how he fucked up and if you can get back together

•Its your choice if you get back with him though lmao

Kyle

•He is extremely awkward

•Kyle has high ass standards so when he sees someone that meets those standards he'll fall hard

•This man cannot talk to people he likes

•If he doesnt like you he is the rizziest rizzler ever

•And 0 rizz if he does lmao

•He'd start SWEATING

•He would be stumpted for words

•Then when you leave he'd blame someone else for 'fucking up his chance'

•If however you did start dating him (god knows how)

•He'll probably dump you over the smallest thing

•If you vape or smoke though its a big no no

•And like you would argue over the smallest thing

•He'd rant and rant and rant and rant about something cartman did that day

•Probably would put work or school before you

•He forgets your his s/o sometimes

•He'll treat you like a therapist

•However he is really fucking good in bed 😩😏

Cartman

•This man would always be looking out for no. 1

•Genuinely would not give a fuck about you until you show any value to him

•Kyle has a s/o? DAMN GUESS WHO ALSO HAS ONE NOW

•Always trying to prove he is better than everyone else (especially kyle)

•He listens to alpha male podcasts

•Andrew tate supporter

•To be honest despite him also being plus sized

•He wont date someone who is also plus sized

•Its because andrew tate said he can do better

•He is delusional and doesnt believe you when you say he is fat

•Its apparently just baby fat

•He would let you in on his schemes and let you tag along but would also throw you under the bus and say it was all your idea if he gets caught

•Manipulative as fuck

•Would get pissy if you said no to anything he asks you

•He'd leave you because "He can do better"

Kenny

•He fucking stinks

•Its either he'll stink of zaza or just plain stinkyness

•He like never showers even when he had the opportunity to

•He'll have a huge crush on you because of your looks and you'll find out through other kids

•Cartman probably spread it around

•He'll always be staring at your boobs or ass

•Says word like "GYATT DAMN" "WHAT THE SIGMA"

•He doesnt have tiktok only instagram reels

•Has a shitty cracked iphone 6 in rose gold with no case

•He'll be very loyal like he would never get with someone else

•However always staring at someone elses boobs or ass if not yours

•Will compare you to 'attractive celebrities'

•Hes done many many dr*gs

•Him and his mates probably made a list of all the hottest people in the school (god knows where you are on it)

•He has no rizz at all because hes extremely shy

•Probably only got with you bc of how big your gyatt was

•Hes always really h*rny

dividers by @k1ssyoursister

[writingforcuteppl]

Private Lessons

Pairing: Kenny McCormick x f!Reader

Summary: After Kenny found out you've never kissed anyone, he decided that not only would he give you your first kiss but also show you all the things you've been missing out on.

GENRE: Fluff and smut. AGED UP CHARACTERS.

☀️fluff  🌧angst  ❄️smut

1. kissing ☀️

2. dry humping

3. hickeys

4. foreplay (orals, mastubation)

5. 1st time (sex)

6. toys

7. safe words

n a v i g a t i o n

[vampirevatican]

Eating for... Three!?

pairing - Kenny McCormick x black! fem reader

genre/tags - pregnant reader, twin babies, tooth rotting fluff

notes - 1.7k words. yes this is a pregnancy fic, no i won't be detailing the birth but the journey? oh yes please. do i wanna be a mother? hell no. do i love family fluff, sims family gameplay, the idea or stories of happy families, think that babies are adorable? yes.

summary - You know about Kenny's upbringing, where he came from, and how if he ever had kids he wanted to do better than his parents. The first night you heard about it you saw the determination in those blue eyes and felt your heart melt, he really wanted to go above and beyond for his own. When you brought up baby names he was a little bit curious but didn't want to pressure you into it. So that night, while you two were about to sleep, you brought up trying for a baby. He could barely contain himself.

"Ken, I want a baby." You were both winding down for the night. Him in just boxers, the covers and laptop covering his legs, and you in a bonnet and silk night gown. He immediately stopped what he was doing on his laptop and looked over at you, shocked and excited. You've mentioned baby names before, it wasn't like you guys weren't having sex whenever he had free time, but did that mean you were off of your birth control? "A..are you sure?" He had to take a pause at the start of his sentence, still startled by the sudden reality he was in. He has already set aside the laptop, slightly turned to face you in bed; eager and trying to control his enthusiasm but that was impossible. When you nodded he pulled you into a hug and kissed your face as you laughed and hugged him back. "Yup, been thinking on it for a bit and figured we might as well." You said as he pulled away and you looked into his blue eyes. "You've always wanted a family, and I wasn't fully against it just concerned of what the child would be brought into." You looked around at the huge bedroom, the floor to ceiling windows covered by blinds, walk in closet connected to a bathroom and vanity. "I think we'll do great." You gave him a light kiss and whispered, "There may be a chance we'll have one already."

It definitely didn't take too long either, given Kenny's drive and him taking off work for the next few weeks he could. You two were like rabbits around the mansion, save for the nursery you set aside. One day decorating it, with Kenny doing the heavy lifting, you took in everything. How ornate, adorable, and welcoming the room was. "Kenny," you said to him as he was hanging up picture frames that were yet to be filled. "Yes, my love?" You couldn't help but smile, as he looked over at you and came to your side. He pulled you into a side hug, taking in the room with you, "We're going to spoil this kid rotten."

WEEK 0-13 (0-3 Months)

You've seen and heard about morning sickness but was hoping, praying, that it'd miraculously pass you. It didn't. Neither did the other side effects you read about with you husband.

Kenny held your braids back while you were puking in the toilet, tying the box braids into a high ponytail and rubbing your back. "It'll be over soon darling." He told you, doing his best to reassure you and immensely grateful you're willing to be the mother of his children, your children. He didn't mind the constant trips to the bathroom to pee, whenever he noticed you were tired he was quick to get you to rest.

"Kenny I'm fine, just a little..." You yawned, laying in bed next to him. "Tired. Please get some rest, your body needs it." Not being able to resist his request; being obviously very sleepy and so comfy in the warm covers, smooth sheets, and plush mattress, you only gave him a look in protest before drifting off. By the time you were awake again he already had clothes set out for you to get ready for the appointment to check in on the baby. He helped you get ready every step of the way with some protest from you. "I ain't even showing yet Ken, you don't have to wait on me hand and foot." He simply shrugged, having the both of you take the elevator down instead of the stairs. "I just love pampering you. You're my lovely wife, who's carrying our precious child, even if they're not fully formed yet." You let out a small chuckle at his words.

The baby was fine, right where they should be with no complications, but you were facing the changes of having the little one around. Looking online it seemed that it'd just get more intense as it went on. Your sense of smell made it so that there was the sent of lavender, pine sol and coco butter throughout the mansion. Whenever Kenny asked what you wanted to eat the cravings and aversions grew stronger. Foods you didn't like before, you now hated a few and found others delicious. Foods you did like before became strong favorites. Though that wasn't the only thing that fluctuated.

Kenny was understanding during your mood swings. There to comfort or reassure with whatever you were sobbing so much about and quick to step back and listen whenever you were pissed. "Don't fuckin' touch me. My god, everything is pissing me off. Why are the people at the office so incompetent? We're both not there for a couple of weeks and they wanna blow up my phone. The hell they reaching out to me for?" Kenny was listening to your rant as he answered emails in bed with you as the TV played, knowing it'd pass eventually. "No idea dear, but after 6 meetings that could've been emails. I completely understand how you fee-" He looked over to see your deadpan expression and immediately took back his words.

WEEKS 14-27 (3-6 Months)

As the baby grew so did your cravings and so did your stomach. When going for another ultrasound with Kenny, wearing shades and having security do their best to keep off journalists and paparazzi, you were both surprised to discover the news. The obstetrician, a black woman you had personally requested from the start, was analyzing the monitor and making sure she was seeing things right. "Yeah, that's..." she said pausing for a second and turning the monitor to you and your husband. "Looks like you're having two little one's Mrs.Mccormick." Hearing the news your worries had melted away to pure joy and astonishment as you squeezed Kenny's hand. The blonde was just as excited, there'd be two additions to the family soon.

Then came baby names, along with the little ones deciding to make themselves known with each press to your belly. If they weren't stretching their hands or feet, it felt like your stomach was doing flips. Kenny would rub your belly with lotion after a bath and talk to them, earning small kicks and you letting him know that they hear him. You still made an effort to be capable and move around but your body definitely wasn't what it was, not to mention the little ones reminding you that you're their mommy now. When your feet and ankles swelled or your body was aching? Immediate bedrest, ordered by none other than your husband of course. "Ken I'm fine, I can get up and-" every protest was met with a 'No.' and kisses to your cheek or forehead. He waited on you hand and foot, no buts or exceptions.

The baby shower was small, with just a few friends and family. Being that Kenny is a famous philanthropist; the announcements, unveilings, and multiple interviews you both had, just made it easier.

Of course, before the baby shower, he made the announcement of y'all having little ones soon to the presses. "Yes we're having children. Now, if you could please give us some privacy." He was very blunt with it and it made some headlines but that wasn't for you to worry about.

There were balloons, a small cake decorated to look like a crib with little blocks that spelled 'welcome babies'. Looking around at the colors, (pastel purple and yellow) two-tiered diaper cake, and the table crowded in baby clothes and toys you thought 'These babies are gonna be spoiled past rotten.' You wouldn't have it any other way though. From the start you always wanted to give your children everything they could ever want and more and with their father growing up and being who he is, it was a recipe for the most loved and gifted children.

WEEKS 28 - 42 (6-9 Months)

At this point, there wasn't much fighting on your end of being pampered. The only time you were out of bed, you went to the bathroom or your husband helped you in and out of the tub. The twins were ready to leave and with each passing day, their restless movements made that well known. All that was left in the wake of the twins was just them pulling a circ-de-solei whenever they felt like it. When it was strong but not enough to stop you in your tracks, adorable, and whenever it wasn't Kenny was there to try and make you laugh or aid you in any way possible. "Don't make me come in there." He was holding your belly, looking down and talking to them. For some reason that would get them to stop moving or, "You're hurting mommy." then there was no movement from either of them.

When it was around go time, Kenny was more than prepared. He had a set car, chauffeur, everything packed. The months before he was reading parenting books along with you, maybe even more than you. A few times you'd wake up in the middle of the night to pee, you'd catch him wide awake reading and something about that made you feel better. Kenny was always a doting husband. Not just through expensive gifts, date nights, or vacations but also being there for you through anything. He'd help take down your protective styles, watch videos on how to do and take care of your hair. Over the pregnancy you were in an afro most of the time. Partialy out of tiredness, carrying two became a hassle over time, and the other half because when you caught sight of yourself; you felt a sense of pride and immense joy. You were a mother, you're a mother.

The little ones took their time coming out. Enough time for there to be little moments between you and your husband that were more sweet than nearly crushing his hand. Though when the pair was born, and you held them in your arms as your husband got a picture before holding one of them himself. That same feeling came back, your hair was back in a protective style but that didn't change anything. Your crotchet braids were done by a professional before the due date, they held up nice; save for the edges because of the sweat, but as Kenny slicked them back and kissed your forehead you just smiled. 'Im a mother.' and as you thought that, the little girl in your arms held your finger with her tiny hand.

[kwnnys]

— kyle, eric, & kenny w a dirty minded reader (platonic) !

hcs : g/n reader a/n : this idea was haunting my mind and I js had to write it 😓😓 also I originally wanted to add stan but I had no ideas for him sorry 😭😭 warning(s) : nsfw mentions

— kyle broflovski

DUDE IS TIRED OF YOUR SHIT.

you and cartman are the reason why hes this close to going insane

you love bothering him with silly jokes that make his face as red as his hair, bursting out laughing as he pinches the bridge of his nose

especially in public. you two would be sitting beside each other in the assembly hall when you randomly get a dirty thought. grinning evilly as you whisper said thought in the gingers ear.

his head will immediately cock towards you and he'll give you the most DISGUTING and STANKIEST expression known to man.

you only laugh it off.

you also like to bother him with 'does the carpet match the drapes?' questions, to which he always refuses to answer.

physically gags whenever he sees you staring at some person all drooly.

you draw dicks on his homework when he isn't looking. in pen.

— eric cartman

one of the few people that actually tolerates your shitty humor.

he snorts at most of your jokes, and he considers you as his 3rd best friend after butters and kenny.

you two like tag teaming against stan and kyle whenever they get TOO close, much to the disappointment of the duo.

"I love you, kyle" "I love you too, dude" "jesus, why don't you two go and makeout at this point." "yeah, grind on each others dick while you're at it!"

usually ignores you when your gawking at some hot person, but occasionally tells you to shut up.

he does get annoyed sometimes when you're restless and joke around too much for one day.

HATESS whenever you make jokes about his mom. will literally throw hands and tell on you.

calls you a horny virgin

used to rip on you 24/7 till you 'jokingly' said you were into it.

— kenny mccormick

the most iconic duo ever.

the only person that understands you and your dirty mind 😞

you guys CONSTANTLY ogle at random hot people, whispering and giggling to each other as said person just stares at you two in concern.

you both also exchange playboy magazines all the time. and you two are hella sketchy when doing so.

"got the goods, ken?" "yeah, got it right here"

the group thought you were doing drugs at first tbh.

you and kenny are always fueling dumb ideas and questions into each others minds

you two are also each others wingman/wingwoman 🤝

you guys made a pact a few years ago that if at 35 you were both still single, you'd get married

jokes about who has the bigger dick constantly (even funnier if you're afab)

kenny is probably the kind of guy to moan randomly during class, you both think its the funniest shit ever.

you guys like to buy flavored lube and rate it. probably also fed it to cartman once telling him it was some candy.

[lumnries]

┆．pairings main 4 x gn reader

┆．synopsis matching w him!!!!

┆．cw cussing

✉️ … i’m back w another one!!!! my reqs are still open :3 FOR MY CURRENT REQS, I’M DOING YOURS WHEN I WAKE UP 😁😁 they're aged up here as usual

stan ⊹ matching earrings

OKAY HE’S A BIT CONFUSED. he’s heard of people matching things, but when you suggest it he’s all ???

he definitely lets you pick what you want to match. since you did ask him first, he may as well let you decide what you want. & when you finally picked something out, he was kinda stunned. like ohmygod EARRINGS??? 😦😦😦 he thought you meant something more simple, like keychains but it’s not like he’s complaining

HE’S SO HAPPY WHEN YOU GUYS GO OUT AND WEAR THEM. he never takes them off, like ever.

“stan, do you like this one?” his gaze turns to the earring you’re holding. he briefly looks at it before nodding and quickly muttering a yes. “okay! i’ll buy it.” he panics as you take out your wallet, not wanting you to spend your money. “how about i pay for it? i may as well buy it since you were the one who thought of it.” you let out a snicker as you smile at him. “you always pay for our dates. let me repay you by this.” he sighs, murmuring something about you not needing to repay anything. he decides to let it go, knowing he couldn’t convince you.

kyle ⊹ matching keychains

LISTEN, HE PROBABLY THOUGHT OF GETTING MATCHING KEYCHAINS FOR THE BOTH OF YOU WHEN HE WAS RANDOMLY SCROLLING THROUGH HIS PHONE.

at first he wonders what you’d want, however he’d probably just go for the most common choice. why? because he does NOT care wtf you guys get as long as it’s something you’d like ‼️‼️

today, you were gonna meet up with your boyfriend, kyle. since it was the weekends, you guys planned to do a study date at his house. he told you he’d help you with your homework, but just now, he texted you to tell you that he had a surprise. saying you were excited was an understatement. currently, you’re in your boyfriends room. he welcomes you in, as he tells you to take a sit on his bed. he then takes out two keychains that had the design of both your favorite animals. he hands his to you. “i saw something yesterday, & bought these for the both of us. you have mine, i have yours. now we have something to remind us of each other.” you can’t help but grin at the boy, and give him a kiss in the cheek.

cartman ⊹ matching pjs

he just saw some cute pjs and instantly bought it thinking abt u 🙏

IT EITHER HAS THE DUMBEST OR PLAINEST DESIGN.

HE DEF VISITS YOU RANDOMLY JUST TO SEE YOU WEARING IT. he wants to make sure you like it 😭😭

“CARTMAN, WHAT THE FUCK.” you’re dumbfounded, seeing your boyfriend outside your window. it was 1 in the morning, and he was out here with just his pajamas. you went out with a jacket in your hand, worried. you’re now outside only to be met with his satisfied expression. you put the jacket on him & smack him, to which he groans at. “what was that for??? i just wanted to see you.” you sigh, knowing he meant well but couldn’t help but worry. “you know, i’m fine with you visiting me but at least try taking of yourself. you could’ve gotten a cold…” he whines, but understands your concern. “fine, not because i’m listening to you but because i don’t wanna get sick and miss my classes with you again.” he looks away. you laugh at his antics only to receive a glare. “my bad. but why’re you here at one? is it something important?” he smirks. “of course, i had to see if you were wearing my gift.” you stare for a moment before you cackle. you whisper a low of course before inviting him in to sleep with you for the night, not wanting him to be troubled by the algid air.

kenny ⊹ matching lego sets

GUYS. LISTEN. i saw these rlly cute lego sets on pinterest & was like “omg this is perfect” BECAUSE THEY’RE SO CUTE

anyways, you probably buy them because you were originally looking for a gift to give karen but the moment you saw the set you just knew you HAD to buy it.

HE WAS SURPRISED, LIKE YOU GOT ME A GIFT TOO??? he was straight up crying happy tears like u’re so thoughtful 🙁🙁

“well, i’m just glad your sister liked the gift. we should take her out next time.” you say to the blonde boy. he nods, seemingly lost in thought. “ken? you good?” you ask. the male jerks his head to look at you and apologizes. “you know you can tell me anything.” you reassure him as he laughs. confused, you open your mouth to speak but he cuts you off. “no, i’m just curious why there’s still something in the bag.” he points to the said object. “oh! wait a moment.” you get up & take the bag as you walk back to kenny to hand him the bag. he’s confused for a moment before he checks the inside and sees two lego boxes. “what do you think?” you watch him as you wait for a reaction, and you see his beaming smile. he turns to you & hugs you as he thanks you over and over for getting him a gift.

[noirvette]

main 3! gaming headcanons!!

i missed kennys birthday because of my college classes wtf happy belated bday to kenny

a little off topic for the post but ive been playing around with the idea of making a band smau (after hours by 777bambi is so good every update got me at the edge of my seat) and ive primarily been focusing on that as of late so my next few posts might just be headcanons

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny and gaming with their s/o!! cw: implied nsfw on kenny's part

♡ STAN MARSH

Thinks it's great to game together, an easy way for you guys to bond and have fun!!

He kind of likes the more nostalgic games, like super mario bros for the wii (this made me look up the game to confirm it's age and it was made in 2009 wtf??)

Let's you be player 1 but the catch is that he gets to be luigi

Stan prefers playing games on the wii (and switch) and or the ps4/ps5. He's a console kind of guy.

Prefers playing video games at your house and he'll even bring the necessary consoles over if needed just because if his dad sees you two playing he's going to whine to Stan about joining in.

Aside from nostalgic games he's also an action game multiplayer fan, lot of games he has is stylized to be fit for multiple people, so think of games like "It Takes Two" or even the multiplayer parts of Pokemon SWSH / Pokemon SV.

If you're a more single player kind of person, he definitely doesn't mind watching you play while cuddling. Would probably fall asleep watching you play.

I could see him playing Stardew Valley co-op with you if you convince him, but doesn't enjoy the whole farming thing too much

He marries Abigail in retaliation for making him play it with you. (Marry Shane and he will IMMEDIATELY divorce Abigail and beg you to marry him)

He still definitely plays multiplayer pc games with his friends, but sees no real joy in playing it by himself (think like valorant or league)

HOWEVER, if you want to play those games with him? Total tryhard but the really bad kind of tryhard.

Considering he only plays these games with Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman and doesn't play it on his own time he kinda sucks lol.

Screams "YOU'RE BAD" into his mic when he actually downs someone. Screams "WHAT THE FUCK" if he gets downed that Sharon comes in running like "Stan are you okay?!"

He gets so frustrated when he dies that he starts literally pouting. Let him get the final kill if it's just you two against one.

Insta-locks on Sage just to heal you only in game

"Sage heal? Sage heal?" -your poor other teammates

You carry him in these games tbh.

♡ KYLE BROFLOVSKI

Unlike Stan, Kyle loves games like valorant, league, etc. He gets to let out his rage easily by winning

When he loses everyone in South Park knows, he's so mad. However he rarely loses so South Park is safe.

Out of his friends he's for sure got the most amount of kills and wins.

Screams "LETS GOOOOO" when he wins LMFAO. Then gives you a victory kiss.

FPS games is Kyle's specialty. He's def an omen main or something.

If FPS isn't your thing or if you're not good at it Kyle gets it. If you're willing he'll show you how to play (and how to get good fast) however just don't play with him, if you're lagging behind (even if you're new) he's so annoyed, but never mad.

Is willing to play other games with you 100%. Also thinks it's great to game together, even if your guys' gaming genres don't match he's willing to play what you like.

Mario Kart is your guys' go to. You always win against him which leaves Kyle in shock so he often demands rematches.

Ike joins with you guys sometimes and you both initially let Ike win. Ike gets mad though because he wants you both to play equally with him, so when you play fairly he still wins because Ike is just that guy.

Kyle is more of a pc gamer than anything, but if console is up to bat he's an xbox guy. Still is a fps guy on console but it's all single player.

HATES fortnite lol. Doesn't get the hype over it at all, he thinks the mechanics are stupid and won't play it. Might if you beg him to but.. you so owe him.

Is more of the guy that prefers you to watch as he plays, however has no issue if you want to take over playing and he watches, he makes you guys snacks to have while you play.

Avid minecrafter tbh, played it mainly for Ike but then got addicted. So now he makes you play it with him too. He's definitely the "miner". Goes all out on making sure you both have the best armor and weapons. Has a shit ton of diamonds so he made you a diamond shovel for the hell of it even though it's a dumb thing to waste diamonds on. Made you a pink wool heart behind your house when you were gone.

Also an avid tile matcher (think candy crush), begs you constantly for lives. Please give him lives he gives the MEANEST puppy dog eyes.

♡ KENNY MCCORMICK

AVID HORROR GAME ENJOYER LOL

Literally any type of horror game is his go to game. Also likes those RPG horror games (think like ib, the witch's house, misao)

Sets you up by saving right before a jumpscare and then has you come over to play it with him and then you get to experience the jumpscare.

Late night horror game playing with Kenny <3 where you two just play roblox horror games all night, sometimes he puts in the comedic horror ones just so you guys can laugh at how bad it is.

He borrowed Outlast from Cartman to play on your console and you still have nightmares.

"Don't worry baby, nothing can get you when I'm here!" "What if you're NOT here though :(" and then cue him as Mysterion for the next 3 weeks to protect you.

Demands to be princess peach or rosalina in any mario game you guys play. If only one of them is an option and you take that character he will refuse to talk to you until you give up the character

Is also another minecraft enjoyer but likes scaring you with Herobrine LOL and that one scary jukebox disc.

"(Y/N)...." "What Ken?" "Herobrine is outside our door rn" (Y/N) left the game

He also likes watching you play games. Lays down with his head in your lap watching you play.

Kenny prefers multiplayer games that aren't limited to just two players only multiplayer. Only because Karen can play the game with you two then.

If you do happen to playing a two player only multiplayer game and Karen wants to join he lets her take over for him.

Kenny also loves puzzle like games (think like escape room games or keep talking and no one explodes).

Really he just loves seeing your face get all frustrated when playing these kinds of games. He rarely gets frustrated with things like these because he manages to somehow always figure it out, but doesn't say anything just to watch you get annoyed.

If you start getting really frustrated at the game and he notices, he does one of three things; he takes the controller or your phone away and turns on a new game, he actually solves it to spare your sanity, or he saves the game and helps take your mind off of the game and onto something else.