#kenny mccormick fluff
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reinerismwrld · 2 months ago
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Lesson 2: Dry Humping
PAIRING: Kenny McCormick x f!Reader
SUMMARY: Maybe kissing started to not be enough for you, and Kenny would love to show other ways to make kissing more interesting.
GENRE: Smut
WARNINGS: Swearing. AGED UP CHARACTERS
WORD COUNT: 1.5k words
PART: 2 (series masterlist)
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Kenny was such a great kisser. Well, at least with the bit of experience you’ve managed to gather thanks to him, you could say he kissed really good, which meant your body, all of the times you and Kenny kissed, started to react.
You aren’t dumb. You know your body and what that reaction meant. With just one kiss, Kenny was able to get you all aroused and worked up. As a girl, of course, it was easy to hide it, but honestly, it started to be tiring and frustrating.
These two weeks have been filled with make-out sessions and surprise kisses from Kenny, which was such a good and fun experience in general. It didn’t ruin anything (at least for now). You still hang out as you always did, but whenever you felt like it, you kissed Kenny, and he kissed you too. It felt good.
You did notice that whenever you and Kenny got into a steamy make-out session, he would disappear and return with agitated breathing. And you also knew what that meant. You felt proud, but you also wanted to help him at least.
Yeah, maybe your mind started to wander and imagine more scenarios with Kenny that involved more than kissing, which alarmed you. But the more you tried to fight it, the more you realized how much you needed Kenny.
Bringing this conversation to Kenny was something you knew was going to be complicated. Not because of him, but because of you. How can you bring up the fact to your best friend that you just need more from him?
Just as Kenny was able to start this kissing situation with you, it was your turn to do it.
It happened one night after you and Kenny finished a movie and waited until you were sure Karen was asleep. As you were on top of him, you started to feel his cock get harder the more you kissed him. You moved your body backwards so you could stop him just for a moment before beginning to speak.
“Ken, wait.” You took a deep breath and felt your heart pounding in your ears.
“What happened? Did I hurt you?�� you smiled at the comment and only shook your head. Kenny exhaled relieved.
“It’s just that… Well. Do you think we can do something more? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I really enjoy the kissing and everything, but I kinda need more.” You sighed and Kenny smirked. 
“Go on.”
“Are you really gonna make me say it?” you closed your hands into fists, trying hard not to die out of embarrassment. Kenny nodded with a big smile on his face. Fuck you loved that smile. “Fine, do you think we can try, I don’t know, dry humping?” as you covered your face out of embarrassment, you felt Kenny grow bigger under you, and you tried your best to remain calm.
“Wasn’t so hard, am I right?” Kenny began to kiss your cheeks and started to move down your neck. “Fuck, love your perfume” you started to calm down.
Even if you already knew about this, fantasized about it, and even read and saw stuff related to something this sexual, it was still hard to say it out loud. You didn’t know if it was because you were saying all of this to your best friend or maybe because you never thought you needed to say it out loud, but Kenny didn’t even give you a chance to understand why, as he was already leaving hickeys and wet kisses all over your neck and part of your chest.
“Ok, this may be a little hard while kissing, but I know you, and you definitely can do it baby.” That fucking nickname again. You smiled and tried to hide it by biting your lip. “Since I do believe this is the first time you’re doing this, I’m gonna guide you just this one time, ok?” you nodded eagerly.
“Good.” Kenny gave you one last kiss. His hands slowly made their way to your hips, his touch gently but somehow also firm.
“You’re gonna only move your hips, nothing more. Like this.” He started to move your lower body, slowly going back and forth on his bulge. He groaned. The pace was slow, and pleasant. You were looking at how your private parts were rubbing against each other, and you couldn’t help but imagine how it would feel if there weren’t clothes on the way. You moaned and closed your eyes, focusing on the feeling.
Kenny couldn’t believe the sight in front of him. His best friend, the most gorgeous girl he’s ever known, was just over him, dry-humping him. He loved this so much. 
You felt one hand grab your neck moving you closer to him while the other one continued to move your hips. 
“Fuck baby, are you enjoying it?” He said in between kisses. You only nodded and kissed him back. His kisses always managed to make you lose yourself, and you were finally getting some relief. You slowly started to set your own pace, Kenny’s hand slowly coming to a halt, resting on your hip. Slowly, you opened your eyes and saw Kenny’s expression. He was in awe. His chest going up and down due to the erratic breathing.
“Kiss me.” You didn’t have to beg. Kenny smiled and started to kiss you. It was a little bit hard doing both things at the same time, as if your brain couldn’t quite do the kissing and moving your hips. Kenny was able to see this and started to move your hips once again. This time, he made sure you pressed harder against him, making the two of you moan.
“You’re liking it?” Kenny tried his best to sound cocky and unbothered, but who he was kidding? Your whimpers and your crotch moving against him was starting to affect him more than he would like to admit. “Fuck you sound so pretty, so fucking cute.” you felt your cheeks warm up at the comment.
Kenny moved his body so his head was now next to yours, trying to remember all the sweet sounds you made thanks to him. As you were starting to get close to coming undone, you wrapped your arms around Kenny’s neck, never stopping the rhythm Kenny helped you establish.
“Fuck Ken, I’m-” you choked on your words as you felt the familiar knot form on your lower stomach.
“Please do, let me hear you baby.” Your arms hugged him harder. You didn’t care if you were hurting him in the process, you could smell the faint scent of his cologne mixed with his sweat, and god, it was so good. 
“Fuuu-gh, Ken.” You felt your whole body numb as the waves of pleasure erupted through your entire body, your sight becoming nothing but black spots. 
Kenny helped you ride through your orgasm. He also felt in extasis, feeling embarrassed but at the same time so filthy. He couldn’t believe he just also came on his pants like a fucking teenager.
“Hey, you ok?” Kenny saw that  you were trying to calm down and trying to adjust your sight by blinking a few times before looking back at him. He didn’t wait for you to give him an answer, he connected your lips once again, this time kissing you slower, making your head spin.
“Yes, it felt amazing” you smiled, and Kenny sighed. He was so glad you finally asked for something more than just kissing. He was dying to hear you moan, to feel you closer. He didn’t want to rush things, after all, the two of you were experimenting, having fun. But he couldn’t wait to have you all naked at his mercy, begging him to fuck you, but he would just have to wait.
Kenny gently laid you next to him and got up, wanting to go and change, but your hand grabbing his wrist made him stop.
“Wait, let me return the favor.” You crawl slowly to the edge of the bed to get closer to him. 
“Believe me baby, I also enjoyed it. So much that I came in my pants. Let me go change, ok?” he leaned it to give you a small peck on your lips, and you let him go. 
As Kenny left his room, all the embarrassment finally filled your whole being. You plumped on the bed, hiding your face on one of his pillows, and shouted as hard as you could.
It felt so good. Your whole body was burning, but you couldn’t help but think that you just came with the help of your best friend. You were happy but also so nervous. Did he like it? Well, yes. Was this a one-time thing? God, you hoped not. 
Kenny came back with a pleased semblance. He lay next to you, and quickly took you into his arms.
“Well… any notes, advice, feedback?” you laughed you didn’t know what to tell him but you were sure about one thing.
“Can we do it again?” 
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n a v i g a t i o n
s p  m a s t e r l i s t
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short-story-unhappy-ending · 2 months ago
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ACT ONE STARTS: April 4, 2025.
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Kyle's life is thrown into chaos when his family temporarily takes in Charli, a sharp-tongued, Haitian-Jewish girl with no patience for his attitude. Meanwhile, Kenny tries to win over a fiery chef's brigade, testing his skills and resilience.
Kyle and Charli begin a fake relationship to fend off school drama and unwanted advances while unresolved tension sparks between them.
With Cartman scheming, a winter dance looming, and school gossip at an all-time high, Kyle and Kenny must step up—one to protect his heart and the other to prove his worth. Can Kyle overcome his insecurities and admit his feelings for Charli before she leaves? Or will their story end in the same chaos it began?
Act One of my South Park comic Short Story; Unhappy Ending drops April 4, 2025!
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cathers-world · 4 months ago
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Ok you guys know the joke behind Kyle being human kite right…
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vampirevatican · 2 years ago
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Being Kenny McCormick's Wife
coming from the trenches and being able to see the future (thx postcovid) ong it's not that bad, fuck you fanfic nd canon cartman
he's rich and famous, like, nobel prize and putting up a science wing in his home town's school famous. so you bet your ass that you are treated like royalty and you are also in the news headlines at times
he'd buy you anything you wanted, has chefs and maids because he is a very busy man; so, you don't have to do any of that. "wifey duties?" no need. you are his queen, you are his equal.
huge cuddle man, definitely big spoon, but you gotta get him to stop messing around on his laptop if he's still in work mode.
he's still goofy, still a silly guy and he makes that obvious when he's not working on something big or important around the office or at home. scoops you up from behind in a bear hug and swings you around a bit
high-key pda, will start kissing your face all over infront of anyone. not at all ashamed of his baby and proud to show you off
if you're just as clever, a bit of a stem girlie, willing to aid in his works? he sings your praises the whole time and talks about it in any interview or at any event when asked about how he gets his ideas. you're shy, put yourself down, or humble yourself?? he's speaking for you, again you are equals and so much more than just a 'muse.'
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goobstars · 6 months ago
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hey, could u write kenny mccormick dating headcanons ? fem reader . tyy
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𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐘
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⋆ precis ~ what it's like dating kenny mccormick!
⋆ tags ~ profanity, mentions of smoke, drugs, teen!au, playful threats, and kenny being kenny.
⋆ notes ~ i hope you enjoy, and thank you for the request!
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⋆        to nobody's surprise, kenny would be the biggest flirt during your relationship.
⋆        at first, you didn't understand how someone could be so flirty. where did he learn how to swoon you with just his words? it's how you both got together, after all—him flirting with you every second of the day.
⋆        but then you went over to his house, and the posters and magazines he had answered your question.
⋆        he threw them away as soon as you saw them and replaced them with photos you took of him and you.
⋆        but back to the point, kenny would be really good with his words. he knows exactly what to say to make you flustered, but the downside is that he often says it during the worst time.
"you know, you're stunning when you're pissed..." kenny spoke as you shot a scowl at him. "kenneth, you almost got yourself fucking killed!"
"the only thing that can kill me is your looks, sweetheart."
"i'm going to find the car that almost hit you and make them come back for a second try."
⋆        he would be very crafty when it comes to gifts.
⋆        since he doesn't have a lot of money, he has to find ways to make dates and gifts as good as possible.
⋆        because according to him, you deserve everything you've ever wanted.
⋆        you want to go to a fancy restaurant? he'll set up something like the movie 'lady and the tramp', and though it wouldn't be a fancy place, he makes it feel like you're in the fanciest restaurant in the world.
⋆        when it comes to gifts, they're often flowers he picked or stole from places—a little letter being attached in his messy handwriting. he tries to make it readable, but you still have to squint when it comes to certain letters.
⋆        this dude smokes a lot, by the way.
⋆        whether it be nicotine or weed, don't ask him how he got them, he smokes it. why? because why not? his parents used to smoke it all the time, so why shouldn't he?
⋆        he would smoke in front of you if you were okay with it, or he would even share if you wanted, but he has no problem smoking some other time if you were against it.
⋆        would he quit? he might try, but it wouldn't last awhile. at least he tried though, right?
⋆        he would introduce you to karen, in which she would absolutely love you.
⋆        she would literally drag you away from kenny when you both were supposed to be hanging out, but he doesn't care. he loves seeing his two favourite people getting along and laughing.
⋆        but he will pout about it just so you'll give him some affection later on.
⋆        he's a good cuddler, honestly. he would just smell like smoke all the time. but if you don't care, then cuddling him is heaven because he's like a heater with that jacket.
⋆         if it's cold out, which it usually is, he'll unzip his jacket and let you lay on his chest, and then zip it back of while holding you in his arms.
⋆        he'd be a sloppy kisser, though. not in a bad way, but he just likes to lazily kiss you unless you're just giving him a peck on the lips.
⋆        also, if you're insecure, you best believe that kenny won't allowed that.
⋆        you could be talking about a part of you that you dislike, and he'd just stare at you with narrowed eyes before standing up and kissing that area all over.
⋆        he's whipped for you, and because of that, he has no issue doing whatever it takes to make you see how stunning you are.
⋆        someone made a comment? bro's throwing hands like there's no tomorrow. you just dislike that part of your body? he's yelling sweet nothings until you make him shut up.
⋆        he'd talk about you all the time with his friends.
⋆        even if you're not a part of the topic.
"kenny, do you wanna go look at some xbox games?"
"only if my pookie can come."
"KENNY, TELL CARTMAN TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
"cartman, shut the fuck up, i'm talking to my pookie."
⋆        yes, he'd call you his pookie. he's all about those stupid nicknames.
⋆        pookie, honey boo-boo, schnookims, my silly willy little cutie, you name it. he'll make up anything just to hear you sigh at the stupid things he says.
⋆        but the things he says doesn't even compare to what he does.
⋆        you like superheroes? he'll dress up as mysterion.
⋆        you have a favourite flower? he always finds a way to get it to you every morning.
⋆        he once got caught stealing a flower from his neighbours yard one day, and he ran for his life.
⋆        speaking of his life, he tells you everything.
⋆        and when you talk about yours, he'll listen. he's actually a good listener.
⋆        also, when he speaks in a muffled voice because of his parka? he'll unzip it a bit and whisper in your ear to tease you during school.
⋆        he will literally mumble about how much he loves you and when someone comes over, he'll just zip up his jacket and start talking in that muffled voice again like he wasn't just expressing his devoted love to you.
⋆        conversations with him can go from 1 to 100 real quick, by the way.
"kenny?" you question, and he looks up from the sidewalk as you both continued to walk hand-in-hand. he gave you a slight nod to continue what you were wanting to say.
"how much do you love me?" he raised his free hand to unzip his jacket a bit, and he gave you a slight smile. "to the moon and back."
you smiled at him as you squeezed his hand, and suddenly, he smirked. "speaking of back, does my ass look fat today? i caught you staring earlier."
"KENNNY, NOBODY IS LOOKING AT YOUR ASS!"
"now, that's a lie. it's so fat that it takes up everyone's vision."
"i will shove you into oncoming traffic," your threat only made him snicker.
"my ass will act like an airbag."
⋆        aside from that, life's just like a comedy show with kenny.
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©𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐔𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒
writings are to not be reposted, translated, or plagiarized. if you wish to show your love for my work, feel free to reblog, comment, or like.
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moth-related-inquiries · 4 months ago
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hi I was wondering if you could do Kenny's babysitter? Love your other babysitter'reader works BTW.
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Kenny and Babysitter! Reader
Thanks so much for your request! I hope you enjoy it! I'm probably gonna redo this and all my other babysitter things at some point. I feel as though Kenny is a little more adult compared to all of the other boys, but that's not gonna stop me from having fun.
-☆) Originally, you were only meant to babysit Kenny as a form of repayment to his mother.
-☆) When you scored your first job as an Olive Garden waitress, Carol was the one to train you. Despite her aggressive attitudes, the two of you got along quite well. She even took over your shifts!
-☆) Your heart ached when you learned that she had three kids to take care at home, yet she still took over your shifts for you. So, you decided to help her out the best you could.
-☆) It's safe to say that you loved the McCormicks and even now they consider you a family friend.
-♡) Anyways... enough about you... At first, Kenny didn't really mind your presence. You were kind of just an extra person who showed up at the house every afternoon before he left.
-♡) His interest was only piqued when, as he was about to leave his house to head for school, you stopped him at the doorway and handed him a small plastic box.
-♡) "Something I picked up for you the other day, Ken. I know you like the Revengers, but I thought this guy was really cool, too."
-♡) He waved that Deadpool action figure around all week. Nonstop.
-♡) Cartman was furious because, being the little rat that he is, he looked up the price of Kenny's figure and realized it was the better version of his.
-♡) it was finally Kenny's turn to laugh in his face.
-♡) This moment opened his eyes and made him realize that you weren't a random social worker but actually just someone who cares about his family.
-♡) From this moment forward, Kenny grew more and more interested in you and your presence in his home.
-♡) He was particularly fond of how you treated his siblings. You really thought he wouldn't notice Karen's new Barbie collection?? Kevin's new pair of shoes!? How they both shined and smelled like strawberries when they came back from your house??!?!?!?
-☆) It got to the point where Kenny, a kid who normally sticks to himself, finally asked if you'd babysit him, too.
-☆) His mind was blown when, for your first time babysitting him, you took him to Chuck E Cheese.
-☆) AND YOU GOT HIM 100 TOKENS?!!?? There's no way that you're not secretly a billionaire.
-☆) When the two of you got to your house, he was shocked to find that you definitely weren't a millionaire. I mean, you live in a tiny apartment with scarce furniture. On top of that, you're in college?!
-☆) He ran around your house, looking at all your nerd paraphernalia and sitting on your small yet comfy couch.
-☆) You noticed that, with the McCormicks, they didn't care how empty your house was like other kids usually did.
-☆) There were other kids who'd quickly grown bored at your house because you didn't really have anything entertaining other than a console, tv, and some snacks.
-☆) He practically leapt into your lap when you offered to play the newest street fighter with him.
-☆) it's safe to say that, despite your lack of entertainment, Kenny thoroughly enjoyed himself. He was used to being left to his own devices and ending up in trouble (And usually dying) but this was a nice change of pace.
-☆) For once in his life, he felt fully safe and comfortable to be himself.
BONUS
When you were headed back to your house late at night, it was dark enough to make your skin crawl. If it wasn't for the snow, which forced you to trek far too slowly for your liking, then it was certainly the area you were in. South Park itself was sometimes too quiet at night. There were so many incidents that happened in broad daylight, so you had to be incredibly careful when you were headed home like this.
Thankfully, you had never encountered anything awful.
You had made it all the way to the school when you stopped to rifle through your pockets. As you finished pulling out your chapstick, loud crunches of snow echoed straight toward you. Eyes shut and body instinctively curling up, you fully expected to be shoved face first into the snow and break your nose, but nothing happened.
You whipped around, eyes wide, but there was nothing. There was nobody for miles. Just you, South Park, and the deafening snow.
Well, there was nothing except a trail leading directly toward you. Cautiously, you stepped closer and followed it with your eyes. It led right to the school and made a sludgy wet trail up the wall and onto the roof. Your heart sank. There stood a strange and dark figure. His cape flapped wildly in the wind, a noise which you first mistook for the sound of the flagpole.
-
When you're headed back to your house late at night, it's dark enough to make your skin crawl. If it wasn't for the snow, which forced you to trek far too slowly for your liking, then it was certainly the area you were in. South Park itself is sometimes too quiet at night. There are so many incidents that happen in broad daylight, so you have to be incredibly careful when you're headed home like this.
Thankfully, you'd never encountered anything awful.
You'd made it all the way to the school when you stopped to rifle through your pockets. As you finished pulling out your chapstick, loud crunches of snow echoed straight toward you. Eyes shut and body instinctively curling up, you fully expected to be shoved face first into the snow and break your nose, but nothing happened.
You whipped around, eyes wide, but there was nothing. There was nobody for miles. Just you, South Park, and the defeaning snow.
Well, there was nothing except a trail leading directly toward you. Cautiously, you stepped closer and followed it with your eyes. It lead right to the school and made a sludgy wet trail up the wall and onto the roof. Your heart sank. There stood a strange and dark figure. His cape flapping wildly in the wind, a noise which you first mistook for the sound of the flagpole.
He stared at you, eyes boring into your soul. You couldn't see his face, yet you felt his stare on you. "Go," the deep voice muttered. It was then that you noticed the man crushed underneath his foot.
Time felt infinite as you bolted away from the school and straight to your house. You finally stopped to catch your breath, moaning and panting as if you'd run a marathon. After you caught your breath, your body unclenched. A glance down at your mitten-clad hand made sure your favorite-flavored chapstick was still intact.
Wow. You really risked your life for some fucking chapstick.
Thanks so much for your request! I hope you enjoyed it! I feel as though Kenny is a little more adult compared to all of the other boys, but that's not gonna stop me from having fun.
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hunnysnoops · 1 year ago
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˗ˋ𝕎𝕙𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕥𝕙 𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕟𝕤ˊ˗
Chapter One: Undone
Kylie Broflovski x fem Reader
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If you want to destroy my sweater, pull this thread as I walk away.
Also available on Ao3 and Wattpad!
Premise: Despite having almost inseparable families, you and Kyle couldn't hate each other anymore than you already. The second you saw him you had your claws out and we would be ready to hold a knife to your throat, like wolves you devoured each other until a bump in the road sent you tumbling into a new dynamic. Maybe you two can find new ways to fall apart.
Warnings: Vulgar language+humour / mentions of smoking and drugs / Cartman gets called fat
MASTERLIST
Kyle was the only one who knew how truly competitive you were. He couldn't figure out how no one else saw especially during your sports matches, you always had to be forward, had to score the last point, had to win, and you craved it as compulsively as the nicotine you sucked from your fingernails when you ran out of cigarettes to burn through.
Your parents had always been close to Kyle's since high school allegedly; being constantly forced to jump back and forth between each other's houses for family dinners and game nights didn't aid in the fact that you wanted to tear each other's throats out with razor-sharp teeth. They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder and this absurd proximity made the both of you sick with a frothing rage.
You couldn't pinpoint exactly where this hatred started, it was likely back in middle school where it was taboo for boys and girls to hang out, and those kids acted like it breached scripture if you did. Truthfully you didn't remember being friends but there was photo evidence of you playing as children so you couldn't deny it.
He has seen every inch of your life inside and out from the seventeen years that you were cursed to spend side by side. He knew that you had some fun habits such as swallowing back a little bit of synthetic sunshine in the form of little tabs of acid and how you would take a joint for a stroll in the dead of night.
For every secret he held over your head, you dangled one of his right before his green eyes. This is the only thing that kept all hell from breaking loose.
"Good practice girls, I'll see all of you on Thursday," Coach Jackson said, with no indication of pride for the team's gruelling efforts on her tanned face, not even a dribble of sweat on her brow since all she did was stand in place and yell at you.
As soccer practice finally came to a close the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon, casting an orange glow on the team where you all lay on the ground of the pitch next to your bags, trying to catch your breath. Nichole chugged down her water so fast that it was dribbling down her chin and droplets had soaked into her tee shirt.
You were the most composed of all of them despite being a little short of breath, you wiped the sweat from the bow of your lip and began to peel off your sweaty shin guards.
"How are you so okay?" Annie asked, red-faced, strands of her curly blonde hair sticking out and flying loose in the wind while she sipped on a Gatorade.
You shrug "I run a lot," It was the truth, you liked the feeling of burning in your lungs along with the fact that you built up good stamina and in turn were able to withstand your coach's harsh practices.
"I should start running with you," Annie says, panting heavily before she throws herself flat against the cool grass.
"I don't know if you could keep up," There's something of a smile playing on Red's face while she shoves her gross gear into her duffle bag. "I see her run by my house every night." She had a bit of trouble keeping her shag cut tied back in a ponytail, any attempt to get the layers to stay in a braid or bun was futile so she settled on a black headband to at least keep it out of her face.
Off in the distance, Bebe honked her car horn, she had shown up early to pick up her friends and due to this in the last fifteen minutes of practice you could hear classic Justin Bieber blasting faintly from her car. "Annie, we gotta go," Nichole says.
"Ugh," Annie draws out in her dazey state. Nichole paid her friend the service of grabbing her bag and trying to drag her up to her feet.
"C'mon," Nichole mutters, hooking an arm around Annie and yanking her up to her feet. Annie finds her own footing and detaches herself from Nichole, she's still in her shin guards and cleats. "Are you coming to Wendy's later?" Nichole looks at you, sweat shimmering on her ebony skin beneath the setting sun.
You think about it for a moment before ultimately shaking your head "I gotta pick my brother up."
"What about after?"
"Too crammed with homework," You were lying through your teeth, your social battery was just running a little low and things with your dad weren't going too great. You made the decision that you needed to lock yourself in the bathroom run the shower over your skin and scrub until the water washed away the stress of your week or get high with Kenny until you felt your face go numb. Just something along those lines.
"Too bad," Annie frowns, eyes half-lidded and breathes shallow.
"See you tomorrow then," Red waves at you before heading to her car, bright hair sticking out in the green landscape.
“Love ya, Red,” You look around at the rest of your team, all cooling down and conversing "Anyone need a ride home?" Everyone looks around and shakes their heads "Isla?"
"No," She says "I'm going with Kelly."
"Alright," You sling your bag over your shoulder, clutching your carabiner in hand, it has a little keychain of a Volkswagon bus on it, a cowboy hat knick-knack and of course your actual keys. "Bye guys, see you on Thursday."
Your words are met with collective 'goodbyes' from the girls. You walk off the pitch, and despite your legs feeling like jello you manage to step off of the grassy field and land on concrete, lazy steps leading you back to your car.
Tossing your bag into the backseat, you tap around on your phone to connect to the speaker, turn it up as loud as it goes and roll down your windows. You liked your music so loud that you couldn't even hear your own thoughts, just your playlist on shuffle as you absentmindedly sang along to it. You grabbed some body spray and doused the car in it to cover up the subtle linger of cigarettes from your late-night drive the previous evening.
The air was warm and carried the scent of fresh-cut grass as you drove through the familiar suburban streets. With the windows down, you felt the gentle breeze tousle your hair, a welcome relief from the day's heat. You hummed along to the music, mind drifting as you navigated the familiar route.
As you turned the corner onto the neighbour's street, the sun painted the sky in a breathtaking array of colours - hues of orange, pink, and purple blending seamlessly against the evening sky. You couldn't help but steal a moment to admire the beauty of the sunset, the vibrant colours reflecting in your eyes. It was nearing six pm when you finally pulled into the Broflovski driveway.
You step out, looking a little worse for wear. You had taken off your shin guards and cleats but left the knee-high socks on as well as a tee shirt with the Park County cows logo on it and a pair of athletic shorts. It was one of the warmer days since it was nearing summer though South Park had a way with erratic weather that couldn't make up its mind, you were sure there would be a storm tomorrow to cancel out the nice weather.
Knocking on the door, you put on a smile, expecting to see Gerald or Sheila though you were unpleasantly met with their oldest son, Kyle. Your smile drops immediately and it's easy to see that he isn't too excited to see you either. "Oh." You push passed Kyle and into his house "Weston," You call out "Time to go!"
Kyle wrinkles his nose "You smell like hand sanitizer," He says, speaking on all of the body mist you had sprayed in the car.
"And you look like orphan Annie," You turn quickly to face him before calling up the stairs "Weston, let's go!"
"Did you leave your windows down at the car wash?" His eyes rake up your body at your sweaty form, little strands of hair sticking to your neck. 
"Go on Accutane, matchstick," You retort. This nickname came about when Kyle began to outgrow his friends, with a lanky body and a mop of curly red hair, the nickname struck you in a moment of genius. As of now, he was wearing his hat, he hardly ever took it off, especially out in public. You'd only seen it come off his head when he was swimming or when his mom forced it off.
Something about the Broflovski house was always comforting even if you hated one-fourth of the family, you loved the other three. The scent of whatever Sheila was cooking always lingered in the air, right now the smell was sweet and faint. You assumed she hadn't been home but caught a glimpse of a cookie rack set out on the kitchen counter. 
His eyebrows furrow "My acne isn't even that bad," He was right, you just knew that it got under his skin "Crash," He says, a little less creative than your nickname for him, born from the time you did acid and woke up in his backyard, luckily before his parents noticed you but not after Kyle took pictures of you passed out on the grassy lawn as well as a few rumours that had been spread about you.
"Sure, ginger, sorry you have a hard knock life," You had run out of insults to call him after seventeen years. In middle school, you ripped on him constantly for how scrawny he was along with voice cracks and his acne, though in recent years, he had passed puberty, had a deeper voice, sorted out his pimple issue, and taken to running, basketball, lacrosse, and going to the gym to tone up. You could still rag on him for it but it has less impact when it wasn't true and god knows you wouldn't go mocking his religion, you may have hated him but you had morals. All you had left to make fun of was his hair colour.
It was similar to the way he couldn't make fun of you for being ugly, unpopular, or stupid like he used to since puberty hit you like a bus and you were almost unrecognizable from the brace-faced awkward kid you used to be. You were also a little too confident and erratic for his liking. 
You were going to make your way upstairs to Ike's room where you assumed the two boys had been until you heard the familiar sound of upbeat electric rhythms and horribly overacted lines of Fury Fighters, a classic 1v1 fighting game. You move away from Kyle and turn in to the living room where you see your little brother and Ike on the couch, hyper-focused on the game ahead of them. "Did you go deaf suddenly or were you just ignoring me?"
"I was ignoring you," Weston says, bluntly. His hair is an untamed mess and the collar of his wrinkled tee is stretched out. He doesn't even look back at you but Kyle cracks a smile at his words.
"C'mon shrimp, we gotta go," You say, crossing your arms.
He lets out a groan "Can I stay like thirty more minutes?"
You shake your head "Nah, Kyle's cologne is giving me a headache."
Ike snorts a laugh and glances back at his brother, his smile falls when he looks at you; he's putting on his tough guy persona. He clears his throat and deepens his voice in the slightest "What's up?" It was clear that the little brother had a crush on you though no one brought it up, you could tell it bothered Weston.
"Hey, Ike," You give him a tight-lipped smile, watching as he turns back to the TV, fingers clicking over the controller aggressively. "You can finish this round and we're out."
"Yes!" Weston says "Thanks, love you," He says with haste, thinking that it'll butter you up.
You plop yourself on the carpeted floor in front of the couch to watch the match play out. Ike was playing as Tempest, a mage who was wise and old, a long white beard yet he somehow had an absolutely shredded pixel body. Weston was playing Sable, a pink-haired woman in a short nurse's uniform who used surgical tools as weapons, she was your go-to back when you still played Fury Fighters with your friends. You would refuse to play as a man because it breached your pre-teen code of feminism.  Watching them play made you feel nostalgic. 
Kyle leans his elbows on the back of the couch, hands clasped together to watch the game, the same as you. "Kick his ass, Weston," Kyle says, rooting for your brother, purely to annoy his.
"Hey!" Ike exclaims though he doesn't move his unwavering gaze from the game "Whose side are you on?"
"Smoke him, Ike!" You say, a little louder than intended to balance out the cheering section. 
Sheila always kept the household neat which was a miracle with Ike and Weston always running around, recently she had taken to a love of houseplants and had at least one in every corner of the home. There were framed pictures strung up on every single wall without fail, lots of the family, Sheila's wedding day, and a collection of you and Kyle actually getting along when you were kids. There's one of the two of you playing under a sprinkler in rain boots, another of you standing and smiling brightly by a snowman you made, and a picture of Kyle covering all of your little scrapes in Spider-Man band-aids. In every photo of you after the age of seven, you were with the rest of your families on opposite ends, as far away from each other as you could get.
You look back to the TV where Ike's character, Tempest summons the dead with his staff, grey decaying hands rise from the 2D ground and drag Sable down. "Fuck!" Weston yells, panic quickly spreading across his face, his eyes shoot back and forth frantically from the controller to the TV. 
Sable jumps back up and readies herself into a fighting stance, Tempest moves his staff, a green diamond on the end, horizontally and jabs Sable in the stomach over and over until she rolls back to the ground. Ike has a huge grin on his face, shaggy black hair framing his pale features, he desperately needed a haircut but for now, he was relishing in watching Sable's health bar move down.
"By the elements, I shall prevail!" Calls out Tempest, his voice actor had really put his all into making him sound deep and gruff. Ike randomly spams the buttons, sending out an erratic combo. The characters were fighting in the center of a dark alley, blue and red lights flashing every few minutes.
Sable pulls a long scalpel out of her thigh-high socks and charges towards Tempest, slashing him. When Tempest's health bar falls, Sable speaks out a voice line "Every wound has a remedy," Her sultry voice makes you cringe just the slightest, you hadn't remembered her to sound so sensual.
Tempest rises back up, jumps toward Sable and greets the character with a heavy uppercut, sending her flying through the air. You find your fingers digging into the carpet, you had hoped that Sable would win just from the fact that you used to play as her. You almost wanted to grab the remote from your brother's hand and show him how to play as her, you had memorized all of her combos and moves, and they became muscle memory to you. "You're demise is written in the stars!" The buff wizard raises his hands to the sky, gearing up to cast one final blow.
In the midst of this, Sable jumps up, pulls a bone saw out from behind her back and slices Tempest's head clean off before he can finish casting his spell. Ike drops his controller, moving his hand to grab his hair, eyes wide and mouth agape in shock while he watches his character's health bar plummet to zero. The wizard's head rolls around on the pixel ground before Sable picks it up and kisses it "Nurse's orders: Stay down," She says before drop-kicking the head out of frame. A title card covers up the scene that reads 'It's a wrap!’
"Fuck yeah!" Weston says, giving Kyle a firm high five. He looked happier than you had seen him all week, middle school was kicking his ass and you had to pull some time aside almost every night to help him with algebra. You would've scolded him for playing video games instead of studying for his social studies test if you hadn't been doing the same at his age. 
"How the hell did you do that?" Ike's head whips to look at his friend who just shrugs.
You push yourself off the floor, giving your brother's hair a little tussle "Let's go, shrimp." 
With a groan Weston up to slip his shoes on at the rack, "See you tomorrow, Ike," He grabs his bag where it sits by the coat stand. Kyle hurdles himself over the couch, taking Weston's place on the sofa and picking up the free controller to play "Bye Kyle!" He says, lacing up his sneakers.
Kyle looks over the couch and at him with a smile "See you later buddy."
The second you think Weston is looking away you stick up the middle finger to the red-headed boy across from you but it surely didn't go unnoticed "Why are you flipping Kyle off?" Weston asks, furrowing his eyebrows as he looks up at you.
You drop your hand "I'm not, I was waving at him." You lie, trying to form a cover-up. You place a hand between his shoulder blades to guide him out the door.
"You're sweaty," He comments.
"Thanks, I had no idea," You open the door and close it behind you before Kyle can say anything to your brother's remark. It's already colder than when you entered the house and you race to get to the car before you get a chill.
Weston hops into the passenger seat, scrunching up his nose at the music you're playing "Can you put on Lil Shovel?" He asks. It was one of the many rappers he had attempted to imitate. He thought they were cool for decking themselves out in designer brands and sticking dollar bills into women's thongs in music videos.
"I'm not playing that shit," You start the car and turn out of the driveway.
"Why?"
"Because it makes me want to hammer nails into my ears," You answer, eyes focused in the road while you glide through the suburban street. "Listen to Eminem or something."
"Dad doesn't like Eminem."
You wrinkle your nose "Why?"
"Because he said that thing about the gerbil."
Recognition hits you and you nod "Yeah, that checks out," Your dad was a pretty modest guy, he didn't care about anything overly vulgar. He basically mandated your life, he was the reason you were in so many extracurriculars and were the last person in your grade to get a phone, something Kyle would've teased you for if your parents weren't so similar.
"Can you drive me and Ike to the quarry on Friday?" Weston has one hand sticking out of the window moving it up and down like it was a plane, it was something you used to do before you were the one driving, a little mannerism he picked up off you.
"I have track practice and then I gotta help Heidi and Wendy with their fundraiser, sorry, shrimp," You take note of every house you pass, swearing you could put a name to every single one. You felt the fatigue hit you all at once, you knew that night your bed would become a casket and you would have to be pried from it like a floorboard. "Ask Kyle." 
"We did, he has basketball practice."
"Bummer," You say. It had slipped your mind completely that he was on the team and you hated it and how your friends gushed about Kyle before catching themselves and sending you apologetic glances. "Guess you gotta bike then."
You remember when you were your brother's age, twelve years old and you came home every night at sunset with a new scrape to show for the adventure you set out on. You gave bruises out like gifts and collected them like stickers, some sort of pride when parents would silently judge you for having purple busted-up knees.
"Mhm," He nods "Hey, can we go to Burger King?"
"No," You say almost immediately "Mom's making dinner right now."
Weston scrunched up his nose "Yeah but she had the crock pot out on the counter when I left for school today," Nothing good came from your mother's crock pot. "Can we please get Burger King?"
"First of all, Mom will kill me if I load you up with more fast food, second of all, she's gonna make you eat her dinner anyways, so just be nice and tell her it's good."
"Ugh," He grumbles watching wistfully into the distance, his thoughts stuck on the combo he was craving. "I should've stayed at Ike's for dinner."
"Yeah, me too," News of the dreaded crock pot had only worsened your day. Sheila on the other hand was an incredible cook, as much as you loved your mom and the effort she put into her meals, nothing would compare to Sheila's brisket. The thought of it almost made your stomach grumble. If you lived with Broflovski's you would've weighed three hundred pounds more. 
Your mind ricochets back and forth between going home or heading to Wendy's with the rest of your friends though the thought of being alone with tobacco burning your throat soothed you.
The drive from the Broflovski's to yours wasn't too long, truthfully, your brother was perfectly capable of walking. The sky transformed into a canvas of deepening shades, the last traces of sunlight giving way to the embrace of twilight. You stole glances at your brother, his animated chatter filling the car with warmth.
You park the car in the driveway behind your dad's car, he would surely yell at you to move it in the morning but that was a problem for future you and a decision you would regret making. You pull up on the street right in front of your house. Weston was quick to hop out of the car, he rushed across the lawn and waited by the front door for you to turn off the car, but you didn't, you just watched and waited for him to go inside.
"Are you coming?" Weston asked.
You stick your head out of the window "Tell Mom I'm stopping by Red's, I'll be back before dinner," Weston rolls his eyes at this, he didn't care for Red, since you started being friends with her you had even less time to spend with your brother. Nights of staying up late with Weston and playing Stardew Valley turned into you hanging out with your friend and getting high. 
"Tell Rebecca to eat a dick!" Weston cups his hands around his mouth.
"I won't do that but good suggestion," You call back before stepping on the peddle and moving back down the familiar streets. It was just past six and there hadn't been anyone outside, everyone was tucked away in their respective home, warm lights from windows spilling into the darkening sky. 
You didn't go to Red's, you just kept driving until you ended up at a gas station on the outskirts of town. It had long passed the dinner you promised to be home for, instead of eating the crock pot monstrosity, you opt for something with a sweeter taste, a cigarette and a bag of teriyaki beef jerky. You sat on the curb watching cars roll past, their headlights framing you like you were on stage. You just craved the aloneness you so rarely got.
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You shuffle through the cafeteria line, undecided on what you want to eat but settling on one of those sugar-free drinks that are worse for you than just grabbing a regular soda for a drink. "Keep it moving, Junkie," Cartman says from beside you. God how he irked you, it was in his nature to be unbearable.
"What? Not like it's going anywhere, I'm more worried for the people in line behind you who have to eat crumbs."
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" He asks adding a paper plate of ribs to his tray and then another.
"It means you're fat."
He shrugs "Doesn't bother me," Cartman had grown to be a little more self-aware, by a little I mean a very small smidgen.
"You're a fat-fat fatty, keep eating fatty," your voice was unwavering. You hadn't had too much of a problem with Cartman throughout school, sure he had been a dick but you never interacted enough for him to be on your radar until he started a rumour about you shooting up heroin in the janitors closet which led to him telling everyone you were a drug dealer. This cursed you with the nicknames of crash, popper, and of course, junkie. When it first happened you weren't even aware, you just sat confused about why everyone was adding your Snapchat and asking about buying stuff from you. Eventually, staff caught wind of this and it only got worse from there.
"Fuck you, crash," He sticks up a middle finger at you "You're a dyke."
You return the gesture "At least I get pussy, lard ass."
"I have tons of sex, you faggot."
"Your hand doesn't count," You say examining the food in the chafing dishes which looked surprisingly good for school food.
"I don't care if you're a girl, I will kick your ass," He starts to get in your face but you don't bother to acknowledge it, still looking through the food options. 
"I bet if I pushed you over you would just keep rolling."
"Whatever bitch."
"Hurry up, butterball," Bebe cuts in front of Eric who has a look of pure seething rage on his face. She looks beautiful as always, blonde curly hair falling in perfect ringlets and framing her dainty face. She's wearing a red off-the-shoulders sweater and low-waisted jeans, it's such a simple outfit but Bebe manages to make it look unique and expensive.
"Fuck you, Bebe," he turns a middle finger to her, "Go shoot up with your little lezzy girlfriend." That was another rumour that he successfully sparked, that you and Bebe were secretly dating. The two of you found it funnier than the heroin thing and played into it on occasion. 
"You're so fucking stupid," Bebe wrinkles her nose in distaste of the chubby kid in front of her "Don't crack the floor when you waddle over to your table, fat ass," She adds a yogurt parfait onto her tray and keeps moving down the line, you follow in suit.
The two of you hand the lunch lady your cafeteria card but your eye snags on something else entirely "Where's Wendy?"
Bebe looks in the same direction as you where your entire friend group sits, minus Wendy who you could've sworn was there only moments ago. Her tray still sat in front of her spot on the table "She's talking with Stan I think."
"What?" You look at the blonde text to you while you find your table "Are they getting back together or something?"
"She was saying she wanted to work things out with him last night, you'd know if you were there."
"Why didn't she tell me?" You furrow your eyebrows as you glance at Stan's regular table where he was also absent from. The second thing you noticed was how irritated Kyle seemed, likely because his best friend would be opting to spend time with Wendy again instead of him. Cartman plops himself down next to the ginger, only making Kyle more agitated. When Kyle looks away for a split second, Kenny steals food off his plate and blames it on Eric. “I would never steal food from a dirty Jew!” He says, voice carrying over every other conversation in the room.
"She might not have told because you can be a little-" Bebe searches around for a word that'll soften the message "Abrasive?"
"I'm not abrasive," You say as you sit yourself down at the cafeteria table, immediately met by curious glances from the rest of your friends. This made you question yourself. Had you been so blunt that your best friend didn't want to tell you what was going on in her life? Yes. You didn't know how else to be, it was wired into your system; born from the way you were raised, like a wild animal who fought for scraps, if you didn't kill, you wouldn’t eat. Your family wasn’t really complete, it was more like something like a mom who worked herself to rust and a dad who popped in and out like some kind of disappearing act.
No one bothers to dig deeper into your sentence, already enraptured in their conversation. "I wonder how Tolkien feels about it," Lola asks, leaning in a little to where Nelly sits on the other side of the table, seemingly hanging onto every word.
"I know!" Nelly says, unable to fight the smile that formed on her face every time she gossiped "Did you notice how he isn't sitting where he usually is." At this, everyone turns their heads to Tolkien's regular table, where he’s MIA from.
Halfway through sucking the meat off of his ribs, Cartman notices everyone at your table staring them down. He glances around the table before deciding that you are looking at him, barbeque sauce smeared over his mouth and down his fingers. "What the fuck are you looking at?" He calls out, now drawing the attention of the cafeteria to you and your friends who quickly avert their gazes back to their food.
You meet Kyles's eyes for just a moment, you can read loud and clear that he's annoyed Wendy's back in the picture and she'll be poaching his best friend from him. Despite the act he's trying to portray of being indifferent, you can tell there's a storm brewing beneath his green eyes.
In your pocket, your phone buzzes and you look at it.
McWhoremick: what was that about?
You: Cartman looking rancid
McWhoremick: fair
McWhoremick: wanna hang later?
You: fo sho
You: junkyard?
McWhoremick: yup
McWhoremick: see ya :P
"What's that?" Red peaks down at your phone from next to you, her chin resting on your shoulder "Is it Wendy?"
"She's been weird lately," Jenny says, she doesn't look up from her mac and cheese, just pushes it around absentmindedly with her fork.
"Probably because all of you are talking about her like she's not our friend," Heidi peeps up for the first time in the conversation. You're a little surprised that she's eating lunch with you, in recent days she's been so busy with sustainability club that it's taken up all of her lunch breaks.
Heidi was right as usual. It didn't feel right to be talking about Wendy when she was twenty metres away, it didn't feel right to talk about her at all. The group fell quiet at this, trying to search for another topic that didn't involve speaking poorly of your friend.
"So," Red starts "Who's excited for the basketball game?"
You really weren't, you had no intentions of going though you were sure your parents would make you go to support Kyle. "I think I'll go to watch Kyle," Nichole comments. Your head whips to look at her immediately, it only made sense that she was over Tolkien after what happened with Wendy but you hadn't expected her to go for Kyle.
"Uh oh," Annie says, a small smile playing on her face. Lately, she had taken good care of her curls, a stark difference from the frizzy mess that was stuck on her head all through middle school.
"Nichole," You say, staring her down "Are you okay?"
"Sorry to say this," Bebe pipes up, not one hundred percent tuned into the conversation "He actually isn't the piece of shit that you make him out to be."
"You don't-
"Know him like I do?" Heidi finishes your sentence for you. Something you had repeated over and over again when trying to get your point across that he was evil and no one could see it but you.
"I'd do it," Lola shrugs and your face contorts in disgust.
"Ew," You say with haste, fighting the urge to gag on your food. "Do you guys realize that he's ginger under that hat?"
Everyone is unsurprised at your disdain for him, even though you tried not to talk about him so you didn't seem obsessed, every now and then, the start of a rant would slip out and that would turn into you rambling on and on about every little annoying detail about him. You wondered for a brief moment if he did the same when walking about you.
"What is it that you hate about him anyway?" Red asks.
You rack your brain for a truly solid reason you can't say that it irritated you how Kyle ran the opposite way of you on the trail on your nightly run, it was the most dreaded part of the day, brushing past him and pretending not to notice. You also couldn't delve into the fact that he always had a bored, unimpressed expression on his face when he talked to you. "Everything." You answer "I hate everything about him."
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"Okay gang," Mr Waterman claps his hands together once everyone is finally seated. "I know we're getting close to the end of the year and it's exciting but there is always work to be done." He was in his thirties, a little on the shorter side, with brown hair, glasses, and lean for a teacher though it made sense since he doubled as the basketball coach. He had tried his best to be funny though his jokes usually fell flat but you found yourself laughing out of pity like it was second nature.
Wendy sat next to you, you hadn't pressed her about Stan (despite wanting to) and she hadn't brought it up. Kyle sits next to a guy whose name slipped through the cracks of your mind and stays completely silent while the teacher gives his spiel about hard work and effort.
"This will be our final seating change for the year, so if you're next to someone you don't like know it'll be over by the end of June," Mr Waterman sits himself at his desk dead in front of every lab table, shares his computer screen to the projector, showing the new seating arrangments "Alright, here are your lab partners until semester end."
You scan the whiteboard for your name and your breath hitches in your throat when you see it next to Kyles. Kyle whips his head to look at you, your gazes matching in utter terror. You had relished in the fact that You had gone the entire semester without talking to Kyle a single time in biology class.
There weren’t desks in the science labs but black tables built for two people since they worked out better for experiments, there you were stuck at the back of the class with the ginger demon spawn.
"Mr Waterman?" You raise your hand but speak before he even calls on you "You need to move me or I'll kill myself."
"Woah," He puts both of his hands out "Let's not joke about that-
"I'm not joking," You cut him off, tone dead serious. Wendy tugs at the hem of your shirt, trying to get you to sit back down, you just cast her a glance before looking back to the short teacher. "I will kill myself." 
"Can you and Kyle please come up here so I can talk to you," At Mr. Waterman's words, Kyle shoots you a malicious glare. 
"When you cause a scene about not wanting to sit next to someone it can be hurtful," Mr Waterman addresses you, his tanned hands grasped together. Bless his heart, Kyle thought he was getting in trouble and it would put a dent into his perfect record, the kid never even missed a day of school. You and Kyle stand side by side, in front of Mr Waterman's desk, careful to keep a distance between you.  "Think about how Kyle feels right now-
"I feel like I wanna slit my wrists." He deadpans, face unreadable as ever.
"Do you guys need someone to talk to?" Mr Waterman furrows his eyebrows, lowering his voice.
"No," You say, crossing your arms “Not unless it's to get a gun so I can blow my brains out."
"Okay," He repositions himself to sit taller "Can you please tell me why you don't want to sit next to each other, I'm sure we could work this out." You waste no time trying to get yourself away from Kyle, listing off all of his little habits that annoy you. Kyle, on the other hand, bites his tongue. He didn't want his teacher to think poorly of him, not when there was still a little over a month left of the worst year of school he'd ever put himself through.
"Kyle?" You furrow your eyebrows, waiting expectantly for him to go off on how you were disruptive and rude but he sort of just stood there. For a brief moment, you thought he was having a stroke.
"It's fine," At his words, your mouth goes ajar and your eyes widen. You had thought that the two of you stood in solidarity for one thing, you wanted to get away from each other. 
"Is it really?" You say through gritted teeth. 
"Yeah," He looks at you then back to Mr Waterman "It's just a childhood rivalry, we're just being immature," It took a lot for him to swallow his pride. Kyle just knew he had to get through June and then senior year would be smooth sailing. 
"Well," Mr Waterman says and you can tell he's prepping himself for a speech "It seems to me like the two of you could benefit from this seating arrangement. When you get jobs you won't get along with everyone you work with-
"We both have jobs already," You cut him off and Kyle shuffles awkwardly where he stands while the rest of the class chats idly and waits for the lesson to start.
Mr Waterman casts you a look and clears his throat before picking up where he left off "And I understand that sometimes, personalities clash, but we're a team here, and teamwork requires cooperation and understanding. You both have so much potential, but that potential can only be realized when you learn to work together, to support each other, and to lift each other up, rather than tear each other down."
Kyle's mind must've been somewhere else completely, it was like he was in airplane mode, nodding along to everything Mr Waterman was saying. Though you could feel boredom creeping up, fighting yourself to pay attention to the genuinely useless pep talk.
"I want you to take a moment and think about what it means to be part of a team," Mr Waterman urged, his voice gentle yet persuasive. "Think about the strength that comes from unity, the power that comes from collaboration, and the joy that comes from shared success. Both of you are strong students and I can see you doing very well working together on labs and assignments, okay?"
"Yup," You nod your head, giving a thumbs up so he would excuse you and this would blow over.
"Okay," Kyle says.
A smile forms on Mr Waterman's face, he leans further back into his desk chair. "I think I can sense a friendship forming here, now go take your seats."
You laugh awkwardly, quickly brushing past Kyle to sit in your new spot at the back of the class. You were stuck sitting next to Kyle and behind Eric Cartman, how did he get into AP biology? You weren't one hundred percent sure though you heard Isla say that it was a misplacement that never got corrected.
Once again, Mr Waterman calls the class to capture their attention. Writing about the new unit on the whiteboard in a red dry-erase pen that was squeaky and running out of ink. You ruffle through your backpack, trying to find your binder while everyone else is rapidly taking notes. You pull out a stack of textbooks and some personal reading for English, finally finding your science binder. 
"Why are you reading Mein Kampf?" He looks at the book that rests on top of the stack, it's old and beaten up and smells a bit like stale orange juice, the cover holds the jarring image of Adolf Hitler.
"Because I'm racist," You say, sarcastically but Kyle doesn't pick up on this and seems a little taken aback "Joking, obviously, it's for history."
He averts his eyes back to the whiteboard. Mr. Waterman speaks briefly on physiology, before wiping the board clean and unfreezing the projector where he set up a slide show. As most science teachers do, he clicks through the slide show and waits for his students to take notes, answering the few questions that the kids have.
"Shit," You mutter as the teacher skips to the next slide before you could finish copying what was on it. You glance at Kyle "Uh, did you write all of that down?”
Wordlessly, he pushes his paper towards you to copy it, he keeps his eyes trained on the board. His writing was neat, it looked like it could've been a font, each word spaced out almost precisely from the next. Cartman snakes his head around and then moves his entire body when he sees the two of relatively civil. 
"Jews got a boner for the junkie," Cartman says, a little louder than intended. Next to him, David looks beyond annoyed, he’s gripping his pencil so tightly that you wouldn’t be surprised if he broke it.
"Shut up, fatass," You and Kyle manage to say in sync before you look at each other in disgust that your thoughts matched up.
"I fucking hate high school." You say under your breath, turning to look back at your notes and pushing his back toward him.
"Me too," Kyle says and you're actually on the same page for a change, you're not sure if you like it.
A/N: I hate this but here it is anyway 😔 I promise it gets more interesting. Open to head cannons and requests rn. Thanks for reading!
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jewbeloved · 1 year ago
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stan,kenny and wendy with a ghost s/o? like s/o died in south park (cause,i mean cmon,if you dont have plot armour are you really gonna survive?) and they just kinda haunt sp.they also have similar abilities to damien (flight,telekinesis,teleportation,ect),maybe they even have a human/physical form like him too 😃?
Stan, Kenny, and Wendy with a ghost s/o💙🧡🩷
warnings: Plasmophobia (If you have it)
Gender: Neutral
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💙 Stan Marsh ⚽
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Blud thought he was hearing things because someone kept calling his name and he didn't know where it was coming from.
Stan began to get irritated and demanded whoever was calling his name multiple times to show themselves.
You just now realized that you were invisible to Stan and he obviously cannot see you. So you make yourself visible while making the place around you cold asf.
The gif above is Stan's brief reaction before he jumps back in complete shock.
It took him a while to realize it was you but in the form of a ghost.....
Stan wasn't really close to you at all when you first came to south park. Probably because he didn't even notice you were there.
He did hear about one of the students dying on the news but he didn't think it was you.
But since you're a ghost that death that occurred confirms it was you after all. He feels guilty that he never spoken to you, not even once before you died.
You both started to have a lot of conversations with each other after your first meeting. Stan obviously snuck out during lunch or free time to go talk to you behind the school.
Stan always talked about you to Kyle though. Kyle thought he had a screw loose since Kyle can't even see you.
You like to tease Stan with your powers and scare him a lot. I'd like to think Stan always puffs his cheeks whenever he's angry and you find that cute :)
If physical contact was possible he would be so happy. If you allow him to be able to touch💙💙💙💙
🧡 Kenny Mccormick 🍄
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You both already know about each other.
You always remembered the times Kenny has died and comforted him after he regenerates the next day.
But when he heard that you died he was so sad that he couldn't stop crying because you weren't immortal like him so you couldn't come back to life.
That all changed when he started shivering because his room got cold all of a sudden and this woke him up out of his sleep.
He thought that he accidentally left the window open so got up to go look, only for him to find out that it was never opened.
He then felt a soft tap on his shoulder and turned around immediately while flinching.
"Oh for heavens sake Kenny, It's just me (Name)...".
....................
.........................................................
Wait what?
A ghost?
You?
I guess he shouldn't be surprised just by seeing that. He was so happy and relieved to hear that it was just you.
You really came back to see him...well in a ghostly form anyway because you're dead.... Kenny's happy nonetheless!
You both can go back to interacting with each other again! But he's still a bit sad that he isn't able to feel your heartbeat anymore whenever he hugs you. Please cheer him up.
Since Kenny is immortal, you both can literally spend the rest of your lives together forever now that you're here <33333🧡🧡🧡🧡
🩷 Wendy Testaburger 💮
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Like Kenny, you and her have known each other ever since you moved to south park.....or whatever you did in order to get there.
She one day saw that you weren't home at all and she panicked thinking you went missing.
It wasn't until your parents told her that you recently had died (Or if she finds out on her own if you don't have any parents).
You and her had a close bonding relationship and she was devastated to hear the news.
She will wear anything you had left behind before you died (hats, scarfs, etc.)
When she was cleaning out her locker for her next class. She saw a bunch of students running away from the janitor's closet, screaming about how the closet is haunted or something.
Wendy brushed it off as them being weird until Bebe told her that she saw a ghost in the closet. Wendy signed and went to check it out for herself since she trusts Bebe.
She opened the closet door and saw nothing inside.
She was about to go and confront Bebe for lying to her until she saw a ghostly figure that looked exactly like her.
She screamed until you shifted back into your normal self and reassured her that it was just only you.
She couldn't believe it, she always thought ghosts weren't real...how is it possible for someone to be able to see ghosts????
She's going through the five stages of grief right now that she can't even mutter another word out. Eventually she can't escape reality in the end.
She doesn't know exactly what to do now that she is seeing you again as a ghost?? But those tears streaming down her cheeks told you everything you needed to know about how she feels.
You noticed that she was wearing your stuff (If you had any) while you were hugging her.
You kept hugging and comforting her until she stopped crying. Telling her that you would never leave her even in death. 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
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reinerismwrld · 5 months ago
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Private Lessons
Pairing: Kenny McCormick x f!Reader
Summary: After Kenny found out you've never kissed anyone, he decided that not only would he give you your first kiss but also show you all the things you've been missing out on.
GENRE: Fluff and smut. AGED UP CHARACTERS.
☀️fluff  🌧angst  ❄️smut
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1. kissing ☀️
2. dry humping ☀️❄️
3. hickeys
4. foreplay (orals, mastubation)
5. 1st time (sex)
6. toys
7. safe words
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m a s t e r l i s t s
s p  m a s t e r l i s t
n a v i g a t i o n
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windowshards · 8 months ago
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shhh-secret-time · 1 year ago
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The soulmate AU fic’s are so cute 🥹🥹 I’m so incredibly in love with your writing! The Stan fic made me giggle so much 💙💙 HE IS PERFECT
I’d love to request one for Kenny if you’re not totally sick of the soulmate stuff 😂🩷
Anon. I need you to listen to me carefully. I will never, ever, be tired of soulmate stuff.
In fact, that's it. You're getting the softest Kenny fic of your life! Maybe
Warning: Body Horror, Blood, Injury, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Anxiety, a bit of depression. Violence.
Pairing: Kenny x GN!Reader
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One of your favorite lessons growing up was the time your class learned about plants. You and your fellow classmates all sat at your desk with a little pot of soil to call your own. It didn't mean much to you at first, but as the class went on and the teacher her lesson it began to sink in.
This was life.
You remember going starry eyed as she pressed the smallest little seed into the dirt and poured a little water onto it. This woman had introduced you to something so simple yet so beautiful. How a little sunlight and a little bit of water could grow into something so gorgeous. So, you dedicated the next few months to that little seed. Staying awake late at night whispering secrets to it like an old friend, making sure it was nice and watered.
Needless to say, you cried when your little plant didn't sprout as quickly as everyone else's. You didn't understand what you were doing wrong. Your teacher tried to reassure you that you were doing fine.
Your name falls from her lips as she helps you wipe the tears from your eyes. "You're not doing anything wrong. Plants can be complicated. Some take a little longer than others but there's nothing wrong with them or with what you're doing!"
At the time she was talking about the plant, but as you got older the words stuck with you. And maybe she really was just talking about the little seed, but as you got older it got harder to not apply it to people.
You watched as people took to their own colors, growing and being shaped by the world around you. Some grew thorns, others grew branches. Most planted their roots, souls intertwined with the small town of South Park.
So why did it feel like you were the only one still in the ground, barely sprouting?
You're not doing anything wrong.
God, you wish you could believe her.
But it was hard when you were so overwhelmed with comparing yourself to the others. You weren't athletic like Stan or Red. You weren't top of your class like Kyle or Wendy. You didn't have the charm of Jimmy or Nichole. No, you were just you. What was special about you?
Kenny McCormick could. The blond could write a book on all the things that made you special. Pages filled with how kind you were, how you lit up every room you walked in even if you didn't realize it. If he was a smarter man, he'd probably find a way to compare you to some sunrise. Something beautiful!
Instead, all he can come up with is a dandelion. You may not be the most exotic plant in a flowerbed, but you were beautiful. Like dandelions you were everywhere to him. Under the gentle rays of the sun, pushing through the cracks of the sidewalk; brightening up his day. He saw you on the side of the road waving to him with a gentle sway, yellow petals beckoning him over. He saw the way you stretched up and up past the others eventually changing to those puffy little white balls.
But he's not a smart man, and on top of that he had a reputation. Kenny loved people, he loved that people loved. He loved his three asshole friends; he loved them more than they deserved. He loved his sister, the best thing to ever come from his parents, and that included him. Sometimes that love came out a little too much, he just had so much of it to give. Because like you, Kenny never really felt like he was good enough.
In a world of soulmates, love was hard. If Kenny caught ink on skin that seemed to change, or paragraphs of words on people's arms, he knew that his love would just be temporary for them. He often wondered if you had anything like that. Maybe a tattoo somewhere on your body that would indicate who your soul was bound to. The thought would keep him up at night because no matter how many times he checked; Kenny never saw ink. Never saw pictures or words with someone's thoughts. Stan and Kyle always were the lucky ones.
Lucky people don't lie in a dirty alley with their sides split open. Lucky people don't have to clench their sides to try to stop their blood from slipping out of them.
How could he be so careless? He'd done this song and dance for years now, ever since he was old enough to throw a fist and really make it hurt. Some nights it felt like this was the only thing he was good at, taking a hit and getting back up. Kenny McCormick was the world's punching bag.
He closes his eyes for a moment, and God it felt so good. To just let his eyes rest for a moment, he's been running on Monday's sleep, and it was fucking Wednesday. A small part of him thought about just letting sleep take him, how would it be different than his room?
Oh, but Karen.
And those guys trying to mug that poor woman, yeah, they were still a thing.
Kenn- no Mysterion pulls himself to his feet, the long purple cape hides his shaky legs. Yeah, Kenny might be the world's punching bag, but Mysterion fucking hits back. The dark purple gloves, now stained with a dark red, press into the wound trying to staunch the flow. His vision was getting dizzy, but he wasn't seeing black yet. He still had time before he'd wake up in bed again. Just enough time to break a few bones.
Meanwhile across town you sat in the living room of your small apartment, whatever YouTube video playing in the background. A nice little book rests in your hand, it was a quiet night for you. Most of them were as your apartment was just you and your little cat, the chunky little lady rest by your feet happily purring, just content to be around you. Well, you, your cat, and your plants. Right beside you were pots filled with various plants you'd grown over the years. From seasonal flowers to three different shaped bonsai trees, to various colored succulents, and finally your favorite Orchid. The beautiful purple flower had bloomed recently, and it was your pride and joy.
Everything was perfect, no stress about having to be better than you are. No deadlines or classes that made you feel dumb. No obligation to socialize and try to entertain people you didn't exactly call friend. That is until the sharp pain in your side made you scream out. Your cat jumping away from you and cowering on the other side of the couch, she looks terrified.
Right along your side, just below your rib, felt like it was being ripped apart. Like someone was taking their nails and pulling your skin apart. You lift your shirt and stare down in horror, as bright red spider lilies sprout from your skin. Thick green stalks wrap around each other and soon the crimson petals sprout out, it would be gorgeous if it wasn't in your skin. You feel like you're about to pass out, the sudden act was enough to make your body start shaking.
"W-What the- what the hell?!" You want to scream, want to cry out but all that comes out is a hushed whisper.
Luckily the pain stopped as soon as the flower finished blooming, the pain dulled down to a low buzzing around your skin. Your hands were shaking as your fingertips traced the flowers, unable to comprehend what was really happening. You blink, and then you blink again and again. They're still there and the velvet petals under your fingers were real.
Impulsively you moved the flowers apart until you found the base of the stem, there you saw how your skin meld together perfectly with the plant. It was like they were always a part of it. With a deep breath you grab the plant by the stem and pull. The pain it shoots through your body is unlike anything you've ever felt before, but it offers no resistance as it comes out of your body.
You squeeze your eyes expecting blood or at least a wound, but you don't feel your skin rip open. Instead, it feels like something has slipped from your skin, like pulling string through a closed fist. Through heavy breathing you open your eyes, and you felt your heart start to settle, the beautiful flowers were now tightly clenched in your fist roots and all. On closer inspection they had little drops of water on the petals as if they had just been watered. It was only then you realized you had been crying.
You couldn't sleep for the rest of the night, tossing and turning as your hand kept coming up to your sides. The area was numb, it didn't hurt but you couldn't get the image out of your head. It made your skin crawl and the shiver down your spine felt sharp, sharp enough to make your back arch. As the morning sun greeted you letting you know it was time to get up and start the day, the first thing to greet you were the spider lilies sitting next to you. You don't know why you didn't just throw them away, get rid of them and never think about it again, but they really did look so beautiful.
Now they were sitting on your nightstand next to the window, dancing back and forth as the little draft that entered your apartment led them in a waltz. As you pull back the blankets and your feet hit the cold floor of your apartment, your fists clench around the blankets as you stare down in horror.
Your knuckles were covered in poppies, little sprouts pushing in between the dips of your fingers. On your right hand they were much larger blooms and more prominent on the knuckle itself. You hiss at the way it parts your skin, much less clean than the spider lilies were. The poppies wiggle a bit making room as another one pushes up and breaks your skin. This time there is a little blood, not more than a paper cut would give you but still it was alarming.
Rushing to your bathroom you run your hand under the water, the fast-running water slamming down on the little red petals. Another red flower. Another flower meaning pain or death. You're much more careful this time, gently plucking the poppies up from your skin and placing them to the side on the wet counter. They come up just like flowers last night, with ease and when you inspect your knuckles there's nothing as if it was never there.
"Guess I'll get a pot for you guys..." You mutter to the flowers, rubbing your hand over your knuckles.
There was a part of you that thought about emailing your professor as to why you wouldn't be coming to class, but what would you even say?
Good morning Professor,
I won't be able to attend class today, I am not feeling well, and I was wondering if I could get the notes for today's class from you. I sincerely apologize and hope that I will recover soon.
Good morning Professor,
I won't be attending class today as I had a family emergency come up! I hope you understand, and I will be in class when everything settles down.
Hey Professor,
I've got fucking flowers growing out of my fucking skin! You know anything about that?!
You let out a loud groan and lean forward on your desk, pushing your laptop to the side. Your sweet little roommate jumps up and meows at you in response, she nudges her head against yours and puts her paw on your cheek. A small attempt to make you feel better, she's trying. When you don't move, she meows again only louder this time, her head smacking into yours.
"Ow! Okay! I know I can't just sit here all day." She looks at you when you lean up and snap back.
She sits all prim and proper as you get up from your seat, she watches as you pace around the room and gather everything you need for the day. When she meows again you stop and look back at her, conversations with your cat weren't uncommon some days it felt like she was the only one you could really talk to. It was sad but it was better than spending nights alone talking to your plants.
"Look, I've got to go. I'm paying for the stupid classes I might as well just go. I just have to hope that whatever happened last night, doesn't happen again!" You grab your coat and throw it over your arm, giving her one last look. "Maybe I can talk to someone there? Maybe someone knows what this is, until then you're in charge of the house! No eating the plants while I'm gone!"
When she doesn't meow back at you, you narrow your eyes at her in suspicion. "I'm serious!" She jumps off your desk and walks over to the couch where she rolls on her back. Not a care in the world.
Curse that cat and her adorable behavior. You've got no choice but to trust that she'll behave. On your way out you grab your keys and make your way down the steps of your little home. Days where it was nice and sunny out made you happy you live so close to your college campus, other days it was a drag to get out of bed.
The rest of the day went by quietly, just how you like it. You couldn't help but fidget in your seat out of fear of spontaneous flower growth. What if a really large plant came out of your back while you were sitting in front of someone? If it was like the spider lilies last night, you'd most definitely scream out in pain and that would be embarrassing. Once class let out you were the first one out of your seat, practically bolting to the door.
This was getting to be too much, you had to find someone to talk to about this. The anxiety of when it would happen again was overwhelming. As you pass the little library you stop and check the inside, maybe you didn't have to talk to anyone about this. Maybe it would be in a book or at the very least you could try googling it.
As you walk into the quiet little domain you spot a few other students standing around talking to one another. Some sitting by the common tables, others tapping away on the public computers. Just as you're about to make a beeline for one of the computers tucked away in the corner, a soft voice stops you almost making you leap out of your skin.
"Hey, are you okay? Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!" The voice was so gentle and soft, you turned to see Heidi Turner smiling at you.
Heidi Turner was one of the sweetest people in the school, she went through leaps and bounds to be a better person after high school. Most days she keeps herself either in the library offering to tutor other students, or volunteering around town in various ways. She was always kind to you, and you always wanted to call her a friend but something stopped you. Even though she was a sweet girl, that fear of bothering her was still there.
"Oh um...it's okay! Really, I was just uh...going to use one of the computers. Is that okay? Am I allowed?" God, you want to find a hole to crawl into and just die.
"Of course you can! I was actually coming over to see if I could help you find something, but it looks like you've got it all figured out!" She beams up at you with a little giggle.
You think for a moment, if you had to tell anyone about the situation you were in Heidi was a good person to tell. She wouldn't go around telling other people and it wasn't like you had anyone else to really confide in. So, you take a deep breath and go to stop her from walking away. "Ac-Actually Heidi, um could you help me with something? Real quick."
Heidi stops and turns back to you; she cocks her head when she sees the nervous look in your eyes. Now she looks worried, not scared you think but concerned. She walks closer to you and gestures for you to follow her towards the computer, when the two of you are far enough away from the other students she whispers.
"I had a feeling you were looking for a friend, are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."
A friend? She thought you guys were friends? That alone was enough to make you relax a little and let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. You rub your arms a little and look behind you before responding.
"I'm really freaked out Heidi and I don't know how to talk about it."
"Hey, it's okay. Take it slow, I'm right here. Is someone hurting you?"
Your eyes widen at that, and you quickly shake your head at her. "What? O-Oh no no! It's not someone it's- well it's something?" When she looks at you confused, you groan and shake your head. "I mean something happened last night and it's really freaking me out!"
You tell her the events that transpired last night, avoiding the gruesome details as to not freak her out. You expect her to call you crazy or to laugh in your face, but she doesn't.
No, instead she stands there and nods along with you. Even offering her hand to you to take when you start to tear up, the fear of it happening again came crashing down mid-story. She offers you a gentle smile, rubbing your back as you try to calm down.
"It sounds like a soulmate thing." You rub your eyes at her as she speaks, trying to get the tears spilling from your eyes out.
"A... soulmate thing? But why now, and why this?"
"It takes some people a little longer before their soulmate signs trigger. I run a support group for people who run into theirs a little late, or for people who don't have any at all." Heidi says it as if it's the most normal thing in the world to her.
You stare at her in awe for a little while, clinging on to every word with such desperation. She was like an angel, a guardian angel telling you there was nothing to worry about and that this was normal.
"As for why your trigger is this...I don't know. Triggers manifest differently for each person, there's a lot of studies on soulmates. I'm sure someone at the school is much smarter than I could tell you." She pauses for a moment and her eyes light up with excitement. "But hey! This means you've got a soulmate, I'm just sorry it's so painful for you!"
On the other side of the library Kenny was lying on one of the little bean bags chairs the school threw in for comfort. Tucked away in some corner, his plan was to take a little nap in. Somewhere where he knew his friends wouldn't come looking for him, well Kyle might but he'd never thought to find Kenny here. But when you walked in with that look of panic on your face he sat right up, like he had just gotten a full eight hours of sleep.
Why did you look so terrified? What was going on? Did you need someone? You were looking around the library like you were being followed.
These thoughts began pounding at the front of his mind and just as he was about to stand up and walk over to you, Heidi beat him to it. He couldn't make out everything you were saying, but from the way you whispered to the smaller brunette it sounded serious. His lavender eyes follow you into the other corner of the library, the one right across from him.
He should look away; he should mind his own business and try to shut out your conversation. But he can't help it, he knows it's rude, but he can't get the image of your scared face out of his head. So, he closes his eyes and tries to hone in on your conversation with Heidi. It takes everything in his power not to get lost in the way you speak; your voice was so soothing. Kenny imagined it was what honey melting in tea would sound like if it had a voice.
That's when the topic of soulmates came up. He jolts up again and his eyes widen over at you as you describe the flowers sprouting from your skin. The hands resting in his orange patchy parka shuffle over to the wound on his side, or at least where it was. Like every time he died, he'd wake up with his body fully healed with no scars or signs of his life being taken from him.
However, if he didn't die his body would keep the scratches and little wounds on his body. Earlier this morning he got a little careless and split his knuckles, maybe he was putting into many hours as Mysterion here of late but if those stalkers didn't want to be punched, they shouldn't be stalking people. He nearly leaps from the bean bag when you talk about poppies growing from your knuckles this morning, telling Heidi the exact location where he had split his.
His heart was racing, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. There was no way he was that lucky, that he was that deserving that someone like you would be his soulmate. Just before he can stand up the universe reminds him just how unlucky he really is.
"Kenny! There you are! We've been looking everywhere for you dude!" Any other time he would have been happy to hear Stan's voice, happy to see the others following right behind him.
"This is so sad you guys.... Kenny is sleeping in the library now. Is your cardboard bed that uncomfortable?" Any other time Kenny would have shut Eric down with a comeback of his own, but all he could muster was a glare. "Whoa what crawled up your vagina this morning?"
"God damn it Cartman quit it and stop waving that fishing pole around! You've got fucking hooks on it!" Any other time Kenny would have ignored Kyle's yelling, the ginger looked for any excuse to yell at Eric.
"Guys! Look I'm really not in the mood to-" But before Kenny could finish, Eric swung around to face the man yelling at him.
The metal hook at the end of Eric's fishing rod that he was carrying around for god knows why, slammed into the side of Kenny's face. The sharp hook caught the side of his cheek and pierced through the flesh. Instead of screaming out in pain he bit his lower lip and muffled it, once you've been stabbed in a dark alley trying to fight off a group of people it just becomes second nature.
"Dude!"
"Oh, shit Kenny!"
"Sick! You're getting blood everywhere!"
Kenny didn't have time for this, not when you were-
Oh god you.
His eyes dart over to where you were standing with Heidi, silently praying to whatever poor god that would listen to him that you were alright. He watches as you cup the side of your face, hesitating for a moment before your fingers met the cluster of clovers growing on the side of your face.
It doesn't hurt this time. Not like the last few times, in fact it feels gentle. Fingers that aren't yours caressing the side of your face, a whisper of something more, that clumsy first kiss, all of it wrapped up in one little moment. The three leaf clovers bloom across your cheek stopping just at the edge of your lips where finally a single six leaf clover sprouts.
He doesn't wait another moment; with his gloved hands he takes the fishing line that connects the hook in his face and his friends fishing pole and snaps it. His friends watch in horror and awe how he breaks it like a dried twig, like it was nothing to him. Kenny's on his feet before they can stop him again, moving across the library floor with purpose. The pain in his face is nothing compared to what he'll feel if he lets you slip away from him again. His reputation be damned, his pain be damned, all of it damned!
The library went quiet, and any hushed whispers were stopped when Kenny made his way over to you. He didn't even seem to care that he was leaving quite the blood trail behind him, and if anyone in the library cared they quickly changed their minds from the look on his face alone. The sound of his footsteps behind you made you turn to face him, but you don't have much time as he takes your wrist and drags you away from the many eyes and ears of others.
The school grounds are quiet right now, most people either have already gone home or are in class. Kenny doesn't slow down when walking and you don't stop him from dragging you across campus. He takes you further off school grounds, back near the many hills of South Park where the grass is peeking out from under the snow. The first signs of spring being crushed under your heels as you walk. Turning to face you, he doesn't get a word out before you're already looking up at him ready to talk.
"I'm sorry." He almost doesn't pick up what you say, the way you whisper it so softly. The clovers on your face can't make it easy but he can't help but admire how you make them look so ethereal; a painting come to life. Timeless and within reach.
"Why are you sorry?" Kenny struggles to talk as blood pours from his mouth and down his chin.
You don't know why you chuckle or why you smile at him, you should be terrified. Horrified for him that he was standing there talking to you with a fishhook in his mouth like it was the most normal thing in the world. Yet, with him it did feel normal. Unlike the other times you've interacted with the blond. This time it felt right.
If this was the work of him being your soulmate at play, you didn't really care. For the first time in your life things felt peaceful, you didn't feel the pressure of others. Because there were no others, just Kenny and you on a rolling hill. Just two dandelions growing next to each other and basking in the setting sun.
"That you're stuck with...me?" Your voice breaks through the little fantasy in your head and reality comes shattering back around you.
Kenny shakes his head and grins down at you, the gap between his front teeth that he hates now, bare to your eyes. Suddenly he doesn't feel so insecure about it. "I was just about to say that to you. You're the one who's got a plant growing out of your face."
"They were spider lilies and poppies yesterday." When you laugh Kenny has to resist the urge to grab you and pull you in for a kiss.
"If I get to hear you laugh like that always, never apologize to me again." You go to laugh again and look away from him, but he takes the sides of our face and turns you to back towards him. He's so gentle with you, shaky hands being careful not to crush the clovers on your face.
'Anyone else would have.' You think.
"I'm serious. Never apologize to me for being you again. You have no idea how thrilled I am that it's you. That I finally get to have someone to call mine and it's you." Those purple eyes bare down into yours like rain in a thunderstorm. You can even feel the water rolling down your cheeks and he's brushing them away with his thumbs. Whispering soft hushes, telling you not to cry.
"Kenny..."
"Shh, it's alright. I'm only saying it because I get it. I know where you're at but... maybe...maybe this is the universe telling us it's time to love ourselves. I'm not saying we've got to figure this out now I know I've got a bit of reputation of-"
You cut him off, for the second time today Kenny's been cut off, but he doesn't care when your lips are pressed so gently against his. The taste of copper doesn't even seem to bother you either. His eyes flutter shut, and his hands drop from your face to your waist where he pulls you in like he's always wanted to.
"I don't... think you're as bad as you think you are." You whisper against his lips and Kenny feels like he's going to melt.
"I don't think you're as bad as you think you are." He throws your words back at you with a playful purr behind his tone. "Baby I could tell the world just how perfect you are."
You scoff at that and roll your eyes, but the shy smile that plays on your lips tells Kenny exactly what he wants to hear. He reaches up to wipe the blood of your face, but you stop him and take his hand pressing a kiss into the palm of his gloves. You run his fingers through the clovers and take a deep breath, taking in everything around you.
"One step at a time Ken. For now, let’s worry about getting that hook out of your face."
"Huh? Oh yeah, I kinda forgot about it."
"How?"
"Was too busy getting lost in your eyes~"
You snort and push his hand away from your face, but it doesn't go far. Instead, you intertwine your fingers with his and pull him towards the school. Kenny follows you down the hill with all the love in his eyes he can muster.
Kenny McCormick had so much love in his heart to give, and now it was all yours. Maybe in the days to pass you’ll fill your apartment with the various plants and each little bud and flower would remind you of just that. That you weren't alone, you were surrounded by his love. That you were enough. That too him, you were words he couldn't put together and express. Other than...
I love you.
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vampirevatican · 2 years ago
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Eating for... Three!?
pairing - Kenny McCormick x black! fem reader
genre/tags - pregnant reader, twin babies, tooth rotting fluff
notes - 1.7k words. yes this is a pregnancy fic, no i won't be detailing the birth but the journey? oh yes please. do i wanna be a mother? hell no. do i love family fluff, sims family gameplay, the idea or stories of happy families, think that babies are adorable? yes.
summary - You know about Kenny's upbringing, where he came from, and how if he ever had kids he wanted to do better than his parents. The first night you heard about it you saw the determination in those blue eyes and felt your heart melt, he really wanted to go above and beyond for his own. When you brought up baby names he was a little bit curious but didn't want to pressure you into it. So that night, while you two were about to sleep, you brought up trying for a baby. He could barely contain himself.
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"Ken, I want a baby." You were both winding down for the night. Him in just boxers, the covers and laptop covering his legs, and you in a bonnet and silk night gown. He immediately stopped what he was doing on his laptop and looked over at you, shocked and excited. You've mentioned baby names before, it wasn't like you guys weren't having sex whenever he had free time, but did that mean you were off of your birth control? "A..are you sure?" He had to take a pause at the start of his sentence, still startled by the sudden reality he was in. He has already set aside the laptop, slightly turned to face you in bed; eager and trying to control his enthusiasm but that was impossible. When you nodded he pulled you into a hug and kissed your face as you laughed and hugged him back. "Yup, been thinking on it for a bit and figured we might as well." You said as he pulled away and you looked into his blue eyes. "You've always wanted a family, and I wasn't fully against it just concerned of what the child would be brought into." You looked around at the huge bedroom, the floor to ceiling windows covered by blinds, walk in closet connected to a bathroom and vanity. "I think we'll do great." You gave him a light kiss and whispered, "There may be a chance we'll have one already."
It definitely didn't take too long either, given Kenny's drive and him taking off work for the next few weeks he could. You two were like rabbits around the mansion, save for the nursery you set aside. One day decorating it, with Kenny doing the heavy lifting, you took in everything. How ornate, adorable, and welcoming the room was. "Kenny," you said to him as he was hanging up picture frames that were yet to be filled. "Yes, my love?" You couldn't help but smile, as he looked over at you and came to your side. He pulled you into a side hug, taking in the room with you, "We're going to spoil this kid rotten."
WEEK 0-13 (0-3 Months)
You've seen and heard about morning sickness but was hoping, praying, that it'd miraculously pass you. It didn't. Neither did the other side effects you read about with you husband.
Kenny held your braids back while you were puking in the toilet, tying the box braids into a high ponytail and rubbing your back. "It'll be over soon darling." He told you, doing his best to reassure you and immensely grateful you're willing to be the mother of his children, your children. He didn't mind the constant trips to the bathroom to pee, whenever he noticed you were tired he was quick to get you to rest.
"Kenny I'm fine, just a little..." You yawned, laying in bed next to him. "Tired. Please get some rest, your body needs it." Not being able to resist his request; being obviously very sleepy and so comfy in the warm covers, smooth sheets, and plush mattress, you only gave him a look in protest before drifting off. By the time you were awake again he already had clothes set out for you to get ready for the appointment to check in on the baby. He helped you get ready every step of the way with some protest from you. "I ain't even showing yet Ken, you don't have to wait on me hand and foot." He simply shrugged, having the both of you take the elevator down instead of the stairs. "I just love pampering you. You're my lovely wife, who's carrying our precious child, even if they're not fully formed yet." You let out a small chuckle at his words.
The baby was fine, right where they should be with no complications, but you were facing the changes of having the little one around. Looking online it seemed that it'd just get more intense as it went on. Your sense of smell made it so that there was the sent of lavender, pine sol and coco butter throughout the mansion. Whenever Kenny asked what you wanted to eat the cravings and aversions grew stronger. Foods you didn't like before, you now hated a few and found others delicious. Foods you did like before became strong favorites. Though that wasn't the only thing that fluctuated.
Kenny was understanding during your mood swings. There to comfort or reassure with whatever you were sobbing so much about and quick to step back and listen whenever you were pissed. "Don't fuckin' touch me. My god, everything is pissing me off. Why are the people at the office so incompetent? We're both not there for a couple of weeks and they wanna blow up my phone. The hell they reaching out to me for?" Kenny was listening to your rant as he answered emails in bed with you as the TV played, knowing it'd pass eventually. "No idea dear, but after 6 meetings that could've been emails. I completely understand how you fee-" He looked over to see your deadpan expression and immediately took back his words.
WEEKS 14-27 (3-6 Months)
As the baby grew so did your cravings and so did your stomach. When going for another ultrasound with Kenny, wearing shades and having security do their best to keep off journalists and paparazzi, you were both surprised to discover the news. The obstetrician, a black woman you had personally requested from the start, was analyzing the monitor and making sure she was seeing things right. "Yeah, that's..." she said pausing for a second and turning the monitor to you and your husband. "Looks like you're having two little one's Mrs.Mccormick." Hearing the news your worries had melted away to pure joy and astonishment as you squeezed Kenny's hand. The blonde was just as excited, there'd be two additions to the family soon.
Then came baby names, along with the little ones deciding to make themselves known with each press to your belly. If they weren't stretching their hands or feet, it felt like your stomach was doing flips. Kenny would rub your belly with lotion after a bath and talk to them, earning small kicks and you letting him know that they hear him. You still made an effort to be capable and move around but your body definitely wasn't what it was, not to mention the little ones reminding you that you're their mommy now. When your feet and ankles swelled or your body was aching? Immediate bedrest, ordered by none other than your husband of course. "Ken I'm fine, I can get up and-" every protest was met with a 'No.' and kisses to your cheek or forehead. He waited on you hand and foot, no buts or exceptions.
The baby shower was small, with just a few friends and family. Being that Kenny is a famous philanthropist; the announcements, unveilings, and multiple interviews you both had, just made it easier.
Of course, before the baby shower, he made the announcement of y'all having little ones soon to the presses. "Yes we're having children. Now, if you could please give us some privacy." He was very blunt with it and it made some headlines but that wasn't for you to worry about.
There were balloons, a small cake decorated to look like a crib with little blocks that spelled 'welcome babies'. Looking around at the colors, (pastel purple and yellow) two-tiered diaper cake, and the table crowded in baby clothes and toys you thought 'These babies are gonna be spoiled past rotten.' You wouldn't have it any other way though. From the start you always wanted to give your children everything they could ever want and more and with their father growing up and being who he is, it was a recipe for the most loved and gifted children.
WEEKS 28 - 42 (6-9 Months)
At this point, there wasn't much fighting on your end of being pampered. The only time you were out of bed, you went to the bathroom or your husband helped you in and out of the tub. The twins were ready to leave and with each passing day, their restless movements made that well known. All that was left in the wake of the twins was just them pulling a circ-de-solei whenever they felt like it. When it was strong but not enough to stop you in your tracks, adorable, and whenever it wasn't Kenny was there to try and make you laugh or aid you in any way possible. "Don't make me come in there." He was holding your belly, looking down and talking to them. For some reason that would get them to stop moving or, "You're hurting mommy." then there was no movement from either of them.
When it was around go time, Kenny was more than prepared. He had a set car, chauffeur, everything packed. The months before he was reading parenting books along with you, maybe even more than you. A few times you'd wake up in the middle of the night to pee, you'd catch him wide awake reading and something about that made you feel better. Kenny was always a doting husband. Not just through expensive gifts, date nights, or vacations but also being there for you through anything. He'd help take down your protective styles, watch videos on how to do and take care of your hair. Over the pregnancy you were in an afro most of the time. Partialy out of tiredness, carrying two became a hassle over time, and the other half because when you caught sight of yourself; you felt a sense of pride and immense joy. You were a mother, you're a mother.
The little ones took their time coming out. Enough time for there to be little moments between you and your husband that were more sweet than nearly crushing his hand. Though when the pair was born, and you held them in your arms as your husband got a picture before holding one of them himself. That same feeling came back, your hair was back in a protective style but that didn't change anything. Your crotchet braids were done by a professional before the due date, they held up nice; save for the edges because of the sweat, but as Kenny slicked them back and kissed your forehead you just smiled. 'Im a mother.' and as you thought that, the little girl in your arms held your finger with her tiny hand.
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voltaridylla · 2 months ago
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the comments from my recent oneshot saying they’ve never seen this pairing but loved it…. i wish you all a very good night 😖🫶🩷
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spark-w-chlo · 10 months ago
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more than just friends
poly!main 4 x fem!reader sfw oneshot
please enjoy you guys!
For two years now, I've been tightly wound in the warm embrace of Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny. Platonically of course. The tip of my pencil tapped incessantly against my paper as my chin rested in my hand. I first developed a crush on Stan, but the worries of breaking up a friendship forced me to wait. And then there was Kyle. And then Cartman and Kenny. It was no longer a fear of ruining my friendship with them. It was ruining my life. These four stupid boys had become my world, my family.
"Y/N!" Mr. Garrison called out. He's followed the boys from third grade into senior year of high school, or so they say.
"Um, yes?" I sat up straighter, my pencil ending its assault on the paper.
"Just because the year ends in two periods does not mean you can just doze off." He scolded. It didn't last long though, Mr. Garrison turned back to the board and continued on.
"You okay y/n?" Kyle was leaning over from his desk beside me. Almost immediately I attempted to shush him but Stan was already turning around in his seat in front of me. Kenny began playing with my hair from behind and Cartman threw a balled up piece of paper at Kyle, narrowly missing my nose. Now all their attention was on me.
"Yes. I'm fine." I muttered. I didn't want to be reminded that our senior year ended in two periods. That these four boys who I loved so much in this school I held dear were going to disappear.
"Tell the truth y/n." Stan tutted. I rolled my eyes, swatting Kenny's hand from my hair. The bell rung and I almost jumped from my seat.
"I'm. Fine." I growled out. I shoved my notebook into my bag and left the class as quickly as I could. I knew I wouldn't really lose them. They had all peeked at my college application list to figure out where I was going. Kyle and Stan applied and got accepted, just as I had. Cartman and Kenny said they were just along for the ride, that they'd "follow me anywhere."
And they are. The four of them found a place for us to live in near campus. So we'd all go to the same place. But we wouldn't be the same people.
I didn't even realize I was in front of my locker until Kenny poked me.
"y/n?" He mumbled, his mouth covered by his hood. Kenny and I had a... different relationship from the others. We'd hang out and snuggle and watch movies. He said he wanted the human contact. I just wanted to hold one of the boys I loved. I mean, how ridiculous? Being in love with four-
Kenny's hand slammed against the locker beside mine.
"What is it." He asked me. His soft, comforting voice now hard and commanding. I almost started to sweat.
"It's nothing." I muttered, closing my locker after retrieving my book.
"y/n-" The bell cut him off and I turned to look at him. Further down the hall, Stan, Kyle, and Cartman walked towards us. All four of them looked angry.
"I have to go to class." I turned and basically sprinted towards my last two classes of the day. Only four of my classes contained all four boys. My last two were with Kyle, but we had assigned seats. It didn't stop him from staring at me from across the classroom. I rushed out of the class the second that bell rang too. I skipped the second to last class. I remained in the bathroom, crying into my hands.
I wouldn't really lose them. But they'd go to parties, they'd meet other girls, bring them back to our place. My heart would shatter, watching them meet girls and fall in love and move on from me, leaving me behind. I choked down a sob as I buried my hands into my face again.
-------------------------------------<3--------------------------------------
I stood at the door of Stan and Kenny's class, waving my hands at them urgently. Stan gave me a weird look before raising his hand. Kenny followed suit and they came out into the hallway together.
"What's going on?" Stan asked. Kenny nodded in agreement.
"y/n isn't in class. It's english. She never misses english."
"I got your text." Cartman huffs from behind me. "I came as quick as I could, where's y/n?"
"We don't know." Stan said, his body rigid. It might seem dramatic but the four of us had that tendency when it came to y/n. She was our girl, and while she didn't know it yet, she would soon.
"Jesus, we arranged our class schedules for this specific reason." Cartman grumbled, crossing his arms. Kenny rolled his eyes.
"Has anyone thought to text her?" The four of us raise our phones to show unanswered texts.
"Duh." I rubbed a hand over my face. "All right, let's split up. We need to find her before our last class."
The next thirty minutes passed slowly, the four of us searching inside and out of the school. Ten minutes before the bell would ring, we met in front of her locker.
"God dammit." Stan ran his hands through his hair.
"Guys, what if she's hurt?" I rubbed my sweaty palms up and down my pants. We've looked everywhere-
"She's not hurt, jew, she's fine." But even Cartman looked worried.
"Guys..." Kenny mumbled, before pointing at the women's restroom. "Did anyone look in there?" We all exchanged glances.
"Fucking idiots." His voice was muffled. But we heard him loud and clear.
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I splashed water on my face, staring at my reflection in the mirror. Would they be able to tell I was crying? Suddenly, the door opened and I spun, my back to the sink. There they were, my four boys, staring at me furiously.
"What are you guys doing in here? This is the women's restroom!" I looked around anxiously, but I knew no one else was here. The door shut silently behind them as they all came closer to me. Stan grabbed my hand, yanking me into his arms. Limbs were everywhere, wrapped around me.
"Guys?-"
"We were so worried." Kyle muttered into my hair. His hand ran down the back of it. "We couldn't find you and you weren't answering your phone."
"You can't do that y/n. You can't just disappear on us." Tears began to well in my eyes and I sniffled. "I'm sorry." I whimpered. The four of them squeezed me and the dam broke loose, allowing the tears to stream down my face. My cheeks were immediately in Kyle's hands, his eyes searching mine frantically. "What's wrong y/n?!"
I wailed openly now. "I'm a terrible friend. You guys should hate me." I sobbed. The four of them looked to one another confused. "What are you talking about?"
I rubbed my face, still sobbing openly. "Because I love you. I love all of you. I mean, how messed up is that? Loving all four of you at once?! You should hate me for how terrible I am."
Their bodies froze as their stared at me. "What did you say?" I cried more, unable to get the words out. "What did you say y/n?" Cartman shook me violently.
"Fatass! Don't hurt her! She just told us she loved us!" I was turned to face Stan. "Is it true? You love me?" He shook me too as confusion raced through my brain.
"And me? You love me?" "She loves me, y/n loves me!" I nodded quickly, trying to wrap my head around this whole encounter. Cartman began to cry as Stan ran his hands through his hair repeatedly. Kenny was crouched with his head in his hands, and Kyle just stood there. Staring at me.
"We... we love you too." I stared at Kyle in shock. "What? You love me?"
"I love you" "I love you" "I love you" "I love you"
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This was my first one! Hope you enjoyed and if you have any suggestions or requests to get me going please let me know!
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tvdzn · 2 months ago
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Stan has always been bad at giving gifts, but this year he wants Kenny’s to be special. As he searches for the perfect present, he realizes something he had never put into words before: how much he loves him.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/63404323
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hunnysnoops · 11 months ago
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˗ˋ𝕎𝕙𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕥𝕙 𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕟𝕤ˊ˗
Chapter Seven: You Are Going to Hate This
Kyle Broflovski x fem reader
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Blackout and I need to sit and I wrote this, but it don't mean shit. Why can't I be like you? I miss you and I let you down and your voice is the perfect sound. Why can't I be so cool?
Also available on Ao3 and Wattpad!
Premise: No one thought the school lock-in would go well, they just didn’t know poorly it would play out.
Warnings: mentions of blood and injury / mentions of disease / crude language and humour
MASTERLIST
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There wasn't much you had been looking forward to about the school lock-in, the only thing that had slightly piqued your interest was competition. While various activities were being hosted in numerous classrooms, you were prepping yourself for the volleyball tournament in the gym.
A large sum of your friends were on the volleyball team and were also warming up. They had all paired up with each other and as you arrived at the school late, everyone already had a partner, leaving you with Andrew who was talking himself up but didn't have the skills to match.
"What's straight edge?" Annie asks from next to you where she spikes the ball across the net to Nichole, her eyebrows furrowing as she reads your shirt "You're not straight."
"No, it's like a punk movement from the eighties that was against drinking and smoking," You toss the ball high into the air and send it over the net with a satisfying smack. Andrew fumbles the return, the ball bouncing off his forearms and rolling away. He jogs after it, muttering an apology.
"So why are you wearing that?" She's even more confused at the answer. You were wearing a black loose T-shirt made of soft, high-quality cotton. The front of the shirt prominently features a bold white 'X' across the chest, above the 'X' where the words 'STRAIGHT EDGE' in bold lettering. The design includes a small graphic of a broken cigarette and an overturned bottle beneath the text. The back of the T-shirt has a minimalist design with the phrase 'LIVE CLEAN'. Anyone who knew you well had been casting you questioning glances.
"It's a thing for my dad's work, he asked if I could wear it and I said yeah," Your dad worked at a non-profit youth center and that week they were promoting drug abstinence. Weston was also given a t-shirt though he threw it at the back of his closet where it would never see the light again.
"But you aren't actually quitting smoking?"
"No, he was just so excited about it and I felt really bad because no one wanted to wear these goofy ass shirts." You serve the ball again, but Andrew misses the return once more, the ball sailing past him and thudding against the gym floor. A small knot of frustration begins to form in your chest.
"Oh my god, you're learning empathy," Annie turns her gaze back to Nichole, when the ball is headed for her, she braces her arms and bumps it perfectly back over the net.
Everyone else participating in the tournament seemed to have no issues with their partners while they practiced rallies. You take a deep breath and serve again, but this time the ball barely grazes his fingertips before hitting the ground. "Do something, bitch!" You throw your hands out, glaring at Andrew.
"Okay, never mind," Annie sucks a breath through her teeth, taking back the words she said just moments prior. She had been wearing her pink pyjama shorts with little daisies on them and a white tank top, curly hair pinned back into a French braid. Almost all of the students had arrived in their pyjamas which was the majority of some form of flannel pants and a t-shirt.
Despite your efforts to stay calm, Andrew's repeated fumbles and missed returns chip away at your composure. Each errant ball hits the gym floor with a dull thud, amplifying your growing irritation. "Andrew, get your balls in order."
"Jesus, it's not that easy," He tosses the ball up, smacking it in a feeble attempt. His hand lands on the top and sends the ball flying below the net.
"You're supposed to hit it over," You walk over to pick up the ball. Earlier when you had been looking for a partner Andrew couldn't stop talking about how good he was at volleyball but now that you were seeing him in action, you wanted to wrap your hands around his throat or maybe spike his head over the net instead of the ball.
The bandage over your nose was finally gone and the bruising was almost gone completely, all that was left was a little nick on your nose. Without the painkillers making you lethargic, you were back to being hostile.
He rolls the ball back over to you after missing another perfect serve. You move slowly to make sure he's ready for the next pass. You take a deep breath, focusing your energy on the perfect serve. You toss the ball high, your eyes following its arc. As it descends, you leap slightly, making contact with a resounding thud. The ball grazes over the net in a graceful, powerful trajectory, spinning slightly as it cuts through the air.
It's the kind of serve that you know is perfect the moment you hit it.
Instead of moving to meet the ball, Andrew freezes. His eyes widen in a moment of panic, his feet glued to the spot. The ball hurtles past him, as he shrugs away from it. You watch as the ball lands just past him with a thump. "I want a new partner, Andrew fucking sucks."
"Well, you aren't giving me much to work with here," He shoots back.
Slowly, your head turns to look at him "The only thing I would give you is a handful of antidepressants so no one else has to put up with your bitching," You say, pointedly "Get out of here."
"Eat shit and die," He stuck up his middle finger.
"Eat shit and live, Andrew," you returned the gesture, dropping the volleyball and hurryingly scattering to the whiteboard that held every pair's names. With your forearm, you wipe Andrew's name off and think of another replacement to fill the blank space. You glance around the gym seeing Stan on the bleachers and immediately mark down a name with the pink pen.
He was locked in on watching his girlfriend, he sat with Jimmy, the two chatting amongst themselves until you strolled up at record pace "Hi?"
"Hey," you smile, hands on your hips.
"W-what's with the sh-shi shirt?" Jimmy was the fifth person to question the straight-edge shirt laid over your torso.
"Where's Kyle?" You ask abruptly, ignoring the question.
"I'm pretty sure he's in Mr Dubois's classroom," Stan had been wearing thick grey sweatpants and a hoodie layered over a long sleeve despite the warm weather. You could only imagine he was suffocating under there "Why?"
"Thanks," You look towards the large digital clock mounted above the entrance of the gym, ten minutes until the tournament starts.
You sprint out of the gym, your footsteps echoing in the deserted hallway. The fluorescent lights overhead buzz softly as you race past the rows of lockers and closed classroom doors. You dart around a corner, narrowly avoiding a collision with a group of students heading toward the gym.
Pulling your phone from your pocket, you dig around for his number while rushing through the hallway.
New Message-Kyle Broflovski
You: Mf where r u??????????????
You: This is super urgent
You: Right hand to god
You: I'm gonna keel haul you
You read each number carved into the plaques on the doors, searching for room 116 where Mr Dubois taught French. In almost every room there was a different group of kids doing different activities, you pass the drama room where people are huddled up in the dark and watching movies.
The art room had of course been doing pottery and miscellaneous forms of art where everyone had their headphones stuck in their ears and didn't utter a word to anyone else in the room. There were always the kids bumming around in stairwells and corners, scrolling on their phones or hitting their vapes. There was an absurd lack of chaperones.
Finally, you reached classroom 116 where the door was decorated in prints of the French and Canadian flags as Mr. Dubois hailed from Quebec and would never let you hear the end of it if you asked.
Prying the door open, you were slightly taken aback by the sight. You had anticipated it would be a couple of guys sitting around and doing nothing in particular but you were met with the sight of six desks pushed together in the center of the class to form one table and eight guys pulled around it in chairs. They all had a plethora of sheets and colourful dice lying between them.
No one noticed you come in, they were deep in a game of Dungeons and Dragons and chatting amongst themselves. Butters noticed eyes on the back of his head and turned to face you, a smile on his face "Hey," He was one of the few people who turned up in a matching pyjama set, it was light blue and satin almost matching the stark paleness of his eyes "We already started but you can join if you want."
"No, she can't," Cartman countered immediately, he was taking the role of dungeon master. He turns his attention from Butters to you "You can't play."
"I don't wanna play your gay-ass game," You wrinkle your nose "Where's Kyle? Stan said he was in here."
Glancing around at the guys sitting down at the makeshift table, there wasn't even a lock of ginger hair in sight. "Oh, he went to the bathroom," Butters said "So you're not playing?"
"No, I'm not," You say, turning and leaving the door ajar behind you while you continue your way down the hallway once again.
For a beat you stand outside of the boy's bathroom and debate whether or not to enter, glancing around to make sure no one can see you. You rush into the bathroom, slipping through the door and immediately hearing the faint sound of music. You follow the noise, rounding the corner to find Kyle standing in front of the mirror, phone in hand, filming himself lipsyncing.
The very second you laid eyes on the scene before you, you erupted in laughter like a hyena. Eyes wide and mouth agape, Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she gasped for breath between fits of laughter. "What are you doing in here?" Kyle quickly turned his phone off, tucking it into his pocket while heat rose to his face.
"Are you making a thirst-" You couldn't even finish your sentence before breaking into giggles again. Still laughing uncontrollably, you stumbled backward, your legs giving way beneath you. You reached out instinctively, hand grasping the edge of the bathroom counter to steady yourself. Your body shook with laughter, and you leaned heavily against the counter, your face flushed and eyes sparkling with mirth.
"It's not that funny," Kyle said with a straight face.
Your hand moved to clutch your stomach where your ribs were beginning to hurt from laughing so hard, a single tear spilled from your eye. "Can I watch?" You say between chuckles.
"Fuck off," he muttered under his breath and moved to push past you.
You quickly straighten up, rushing to block the door "Woah, woah, woah."
"What do you want?"
"Let's just talk for a second," Slowly you put your hands out in front of you as carefully as a bullfighter would.
"You're in the boy's bathroom," He points out.
"What? Would you rather talk in the girls?" You retort and the annoyance is clear across his face as he reaches past you for the handle but you put your hands on his chest in an attempt to keep him away from it "Okay, sorry. My volleyball partner bailed last minute," You lied, trying to make yourself sound as convincing as possible "And the tournament starts in like, five minutes. Can you fill in?"
"No," His body language was slightly tense, his shoulders hunching forward as if trying to shrink away.
"What?" You sound genuinely shocked "Why?"
"Why would I want to play volleyball for two hours?"
"Because it's with me," You try for a sweet smile but it comes off insincere. You could tell Kyle wasn't buying it as his face remained unmoved and unimpressed "Okay, well, why would you want to play DnD for like eight hours?"
"Oh my god," He turns away from you, running one hand through curly locks while he does a small pace before stopping to face you once more. Kyle hadn't anticipated making a fool of himself in front of you "No."
"Please?" You clasp your hands together like it's going to do something.
"You're friends with everyone on the volleyball team, ask one of them."
"I did and they have partners and I already put your name down to play," you suck a sharp breath through your teeth.
"Just find someone else," He dismisses and you were suddenly wishing you had knocked and avoided embarrassing him entirely. Not only was he naturally athletic but part of you just wanted to be partners with him.
"I'm actually really sorry for laughing at you, I'm learning empathy."
"You don't learn empathy, it's something you're born with."
"I'm defying the norms," You say "I swear to god I will never laugh at you again. You're right, it wasn't even that funny just a little, not a lot."
"Christ," He mutters, one hand pinching his nose bridge.
"You're the only person I trust to actually give it a shot. Please, Kyle?"
Kyle presses his lips into a thin line, rubbing the back of his neck. You can see the gears turning in his head. All he does for a minute is look at you with narrowing eyes before he finally speaks again "Okay, sure."
"Thanks," You smile brightly, opening the bathroom door and ushering Kyle out.
"When does it start?"
"Like three minutes," You shrug.
The two of you pass the door of Mr. Dubois's classroom where Cartman glares at you and Kyle "Kyle, get back here." Cartman pushes himself from his chair "We're in the middle of a campaign!"
"I don't fucking care!" You call back. When you notice Kyle pauses for the briefest moment to look into the room, you grab his wrist and pull him along. He seems a little taken aback but doesn't argue as you drag him through the hall even though he's perfectly capable of finding the gym without contact with you.
"Oh my god," Cartman utters, sitting himself back in his chair, a look of disbelief on his face. "First we lost Stan, now Kyle."
"And Kenny," Butters adds.
"And Kinny," Cartman repeats in solidarity.
"Are you straight edge now?" Kyle furrows his eyebrows as he reads the back of your t-shirt.
"No. God, why does everyone keep asking that?"
"Maybe because you're wearing a straight-edge shirt." He states the obvious.
"Oh shit, yeah," you turn back to briefly to face Kyle and crack a small smile.
You step onto the polished gym floor, the bright lights overhead casting a warm glow that reflects off the glossy surface. The chatter and laughter of other students echoed through the room.
The second you were noticed you were met with odd glances like you were dragging a corpse behind you. Everyone was already beginning to take their places for the tournament or finding a spot on the bleachers "Shit, hurry up, Goliath."
"Goliath?" He narrows his eyes at you as you begin to walk away.
"Dude, just get over here,"
Stan quirks an eyebrow, watching the two of you settle in the center of a court while Coach Dawsey barks out the rules of the tournament. "Alright, everyone, listen up!" Coach Dawsey's voice booms across the gym through the crackly microphone, immediately silencing the chatter. "Before we get started, I want to make sure everyone understands the rules for tonight's lock-in volleyball tournament."
You glance over at Kyle, who's focused on trying to decode whatever Stan is mouthing to him, his eyebrows are drawn in. You nudge him lightly, and he straightens up, shaking his head at Stan and turning his attention to the coach.
"First and foremost," Coach continues, "This is a friendly competition. Sportsmanship is key. No trash-talking or unsportsmanlike conduct will be tolerated unless I can't hear it. Understood?"
A chorus of "Yes, Coach" echoes around the gym.
"Good. Each match will be played to ten points, win by two. We're using rally scoring, so a point is scored on every serve. You all know your positions, but remember to rotate clockwise after winning the serve."
Kyle nudges you back, whispering, "You got all that?"
You shoot him a look but can't suppress a small smile. Coach Thompson's eyes narrow in on the two of you, and you quickly return your attention to him.
"Communication is crucial," Coach emphasizes. "Call for the ball, and make sure you cover your zones. Stay alert and work as a team."
You nod, glancing around at your teammates. Their faces reflect a mixture of determination and nerves, but there's also a spark of excitement. You catch Kyle's eye again, and this time he gives you a serious nod, signalling that he's ready to contribute.
"Lastly," Coach Dawsey says, "Remember to have fun. This is about building teamwork and enjoying the game as well as winning, which is of the utmost importance. So erm, do your best out there."
With that, Coach blows the whistle, signalling the start of the tournament. Each of the four courts is split in two with two teams in each of the half courts. From the other side of the net Heather and Jenny stand, Jenny regards you with narrowed eyes "Isn't Andrew your partner?"
"What the fuck, no," You huff a laugh like the accusation was ridiculous. Jenny looks at the bracket scrawled across the whiteboard for confirmation.
The referee signals the start of the match, and the first serve comes sailing over the net from the opposing team. You spring into action, bumping the ball up to Kyle, who's already moving into position.
"Kyle, yours!" you shout, setting the ball perfectly.
Kyle leaps into the air, his form impeccable, and smashes the ball over the net. It hits the ground just inside the line, scoring the first point for your team. In truth, you hadn't expected him to be so good, the last time you played volleyball with him, you were on a family camping trip and in a continuous loop of trying to beat each other. You can't help but grin.
"Nice spike," you say as Kyle jogs back.
"Thanks, Captain," he replies, a glint of amusement in his eyes.
The game quickly turns intense. Heather and Jenny are good, but you and Kyle find a rhythm, communicating effectively and covering the court with dexterity. Kyle's spikes are powerful and precise, while your sets and saves keep the ball in play.
"Cover left!" you call as the ball comes over the net.
Kyle dives, saving it just before it hits the ground, and you quickly set it up for another attack. The back-and-forth rallies are exhilarating, each point hard-earned. Despite the competitive edge, there's a surprising synergy between you and Kyle.
As the score nears the winning point, tension mounts. It's 14-13, and you need one more point to secure the win. The opposing team serves, and the ball comes at you fast. You manage a perfect pass to Kyle.
"Yours!" you shout, adrenaline pumping.
Kyle takes to the air, his spike aimed with an almost lethal precision. The ball slams down on the opponent's side, untouched. The final point is yours. A few of your friends on the bleachers give you little cheers as the whistle blows, signalling the end of the match.
You turn to Kyle, breathless but elated. "Good shit, man."
"Thanks," He grins.
With the thrill of your first win still buzzing, you and Kyle barely have time to catch your breath before the second match is called. The gym seems even more charged now, the energy from the first game amplifying the anticipation for what's to come.
Coach Dawsey gives you both a thumbs-up from the sidelines as you step onto the court for your next match. This time, you were against Jason and Daniel. You knew Daniel was on the volleyball team, you had seen him a handful of times and he was good but you couldn't speak for Jason who seemed much more out of place than his friend. You glance at Kyle, who glances back at you.
"You good?" you ask, a competitive gleam in your eye.
Kyle gives you a little thumbs up, one hand resting on his hip. The two of you watch as your names are moved up the brackets on the whiteboard while Heather and Jenny's get erased.
The referee blows the whistle, and the game begins. The first serve from the opposing team rockets over the net. You move quickly, receiving the ball and passing it to Kyle. He leaps and spikes it down hard, but the other team manages a quick save, returning the ball with a strong hit.
"Got it!" you call, diving to keep the ball in play. You manage to pass it back to Kyle, who sets up for another spike. This time, the ball hits the ground just inside the line, scoring the first point for your team.
The match is fast-paced, the ball flying back and forth as both teams fight for dominance. You dig, set, and spike with precision, each point driving you a little more.
At one point, the score is tied at 8-8, and the tension is palpable. The opposing team serves, and you receive the ball, setting it perfectly for Kyle. He slams it over the net, but the other team is ready, sending it back with equal force.
You dive to save it, barely managing to keep it in play. "Kyle, heads up!" you shout, scrambling to your feet.
Kyle jumps, twisting in mid-air to adjust his spike. The ball flies over the net, too quickly for the opponents to react. It hits the floor. This was the part of Kyle that you admired, the competitive nature and the drive, on occasion the hot-headed insults even though you spat them right back at him.
As the match progresses, you both dig deep, pushing through the fatigue. The score inches up, point by point, each one harder to earn than the last. Daniel is relentless, but so are you and Kyle.
Finally, it's match point. The score is 14-13, and you have the serve. You take a deep breath, focusing on the target. The ball leaves your hand, sailing over the net. The opponents scramble to return it, but Kyle is already in position.
He jumps high, timing his spike perfectly. The ball slams into the floor on the other side of the net, and for a moment, there's stunned silence. You turn to Kyle, a huge grin on your face, almost vibrating with excitement.
For a brief moment, he catches himself smiling at you, the thought that an act as simple as hitting a ball over a net would make you so happy when he had seen you surrounded by everyone you've ever known with a cake in front of you and still frown.
"Got a couple more rounds in you?" You ask.
"What did you just say?"
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When the match ended you had settled back into your separate groups on the bleachers and pretended that you weren't sneaking glances at his little group while you were looking at Wendy. What had really been grating you was that the doors of the school had been locked as per the name of the event, this meant that there wasn't anywhere to smoke without getting caught and you were increasingly growing desperate for that nicotine buzz, so much so that you had chewed you lip until the taste of iron flooded your mouth.
"You don't like Miles anymore?" Nichole looks towards Lola with furrowed eyebrows. Last week she wouldn't stop talking about him.
"What?" This was news to Annie "Why?"
Lola shrugs "Because he's weird, he's an asshole."
"What did he do?" Heidi asked. Everyone paid their full attention to Lola who seemed to squirm a little more with every pair of eyes on her.
"Nothing, he's just, I dunno- he's a dick."
You and Red share a look, this was code for Lola liked him a lot and he didn't return the feelings.
"Where did Wendy go?" You ask abruptly, noticing the disappearance of the girl and glancing around the gym for her.
Nellie sucks a sharp breath through her teeth, quickly looking to Lola for unspoken confirmation if she should say or not "She's with Bebe and Jenny."
"Oh, okay," You say and silence falls over the group, waiting for a bigger reaction. "I don't really care."
"It's okay," Annie nods and places a hand on your shoulder.
"Yeah, I know?"
"Yeah," Lola draws out slowly.
"Um," You brush Annie's gentle hand off and push yourself to your feet "I need to ask Kenny something, I'll be right back."
Feeling more awkward than you should've, you walked over to the group of boys enamoured in what was seemingly a deep discussion until you heard a snippet of the conversation "You're saying that if you could only eat one animal for the rest of your life it would be fish?" Kenny asks with quirked eyebrows and a slightly wrinkled nose.
"Yeah," Kyle says with a knit brow, not understanding why the boys seemed so disapproving.
"Dude, he said animal not sea creature," Cartman says bluntly.
"A fish is an animal."
"Don't start," Cartman's voice is accusatory, you can see him getting riled up already.
"I'm not starting, a fish is an animal," Kyle retorts.
"I'm talking animal-animal."
"And I'm saying fish-fish."
"That's like saying ant, that's not an animal." His face is flushed a stark contrast to the pale, blindingly bright lights overhead.
"Ants are animals, they're arthropods," Kyle's voice raises just the slightest.
Cartman huffs laugh "No they are not, fish and ants are not animals that's like saying bugs and insects are animals."
"Cartman, you are in AP biology," Tolkien throws in as a reminder.
"Yeah, that's how I know what I'm talking about."
"We are in the same class," Kyle says slowly to be sure that it sinks in.
"At least one of us was paying attention."
"A fish is an animal."
"Yeah alright buddy, you don't go to the zoo and see fish hanging around. There aren't zoo fishes."
"There's actually so many fish at zoos-
"There's fish zoos?" Cydle abruptly cuts him off, voice raising "You go to fish zoos?"
Kyle regains himself "There's so many fish at zoos that they have their own attraction called an aquarium."
Cartman shakes his head "Nope, not the same thing, that's for sharks and shit."
"Yeah, for fish."
"A shark is not a fish," Cartman starts laughing. "And an animal is something with paws and shit."
"Is a lizard an animal?"
"No, it's an insect."
"Jesus Christ," You mutter "Cartman, what's a reptile?"
"What's a human?" Cylde asks "Are we animals?
"They are literally classified as Cartilaginous fishes," Kyle ignore Cylde, his jaw is clenched tight and it's easy to tell that such an idiotic argument is grinding at his skull.
"Define fish," Cartman leans back and crosses his arms, waiting for the answer.
"You did not just say that," Kyle deadpans.
"Define fish," He says again.
"You define fish," Kyle almost spits with how fast he's speaking.
"Aquatic."
"Aquatic what?!”
"Aquatic creatures."
"So by your definition, fish are aquatic creatures but a shark isn't a fish?" Kyle asks. The vein in his forehead became so prominent you thought it might burst.
"Please tell me how a shark is a fish," Cartman tilts himself forward, closer to Kyle "Tell me what a fish is."
"They're aquatic vertebrate animals that have gills but lack limbs."
"So I was right."
"No, you aren't, lobsters are aquatic creatures, do you think they're fish?" Kyle asks and Cartman falls silent "Cartman, lobsters are not fish."
"Then what are they?"
"They're a sub-group called decapoda in the malacostracans class but they also classify as phylum Arthropoda."
"I thought they were Crustacea?" Stan chimes in for the first time since you came over.
"They are," Kyle glances back at him then to you then back to Cartman.
"So then how are they all that other stuff you just said?" Cartman asks this like he's finally got Kyle in a corner.
"Because animals are classified under taxonomic categories."
"What is that?"
"Oh my fucking god," Kyle runs his hands down his face.
"Hey, Ken," You put one hand on his bicep and leaned in to whisper into his ear "Do you have any Zyn?"
He turns to face you, looking down at your choice of clothing "There is no way you're in a straight-edge shirt and you're asking me for Zyn."
"Do you though?" With a sly smile, you straightened your posture.
He ran a hand through his shaggy blonde hair, cut into a mullet "Pretty sure I left it in my car,"
"Fuck," Your face drops immediately, unintentionally forming into something of a pout for the first time in what must've been years.
"If you come with me we can grab it."
"Erm, I'm pretty sure all of the doors are bolted closed." You raise a brow, hand still absentmindedly resting on his arm.
"Don't worry about it," He waves you off. "But what do I get in return?"
"How about my undying gratitude?" You offered, your tone laced with mock seriousness.
"Oh, word?" He cracks a grin "I'll be back in a minute," Kenny addresses the group.
"Cool," Stan doesn't even look up at him but Kyle's eyes are trained on the way your fingers trail Kenny's arm, the touch light but lingering as you begin to walk away.
Kenny's beaten-up sneakers squeaked as the two of you crossed the polished hardwood floors of the gym and made your way into the somehow even brighter hallway "So what are your plans for the summer?"
"Mostly working I guess, I haven't made any plans so I guess I'll just figure it out as I go." You really hadn't thought about it. You knew that your parents planned a trip to Mexico to which you and Weston were not invited so the only thing that had come close to a plan in your mind was the thought crossing that you would take Weston on a camping trip while your parents were away.
"Same over here," He shoves his hands into the pockets of his hoodie "You still working at that restaurant?"
"Yeah, you still working at that gas station?" It had been a hot minute since the last time you had really talked to Kenny and with that simple question, you were beginning to feel guilt pile onto your shoulders.
"Yup, been thinking about picking up a second job for the summer, got nothing better to do."
"Oh, you should apply at my work, I know we're hiring prep and dishwashers," You peeped up. It would make your summer just a little better if you got to work with Kenny. Even if you weren't anywhere near to how close you used to be, it might make those tiring serving shifts covered in steak sauce, garlic butter, and tears just a little better.
"For real? Maybe I will."
You had always thought Kenny was handsome in a scrappy way like a stray dog, it was his disjointed manner that made him so endearing. "So how are we leaving the school?"
He tilted his head, gesturing for you to turn down the hallways with him "There's an emergency entrance in the woodshop but you need to stay by the door and keep it open because it'll lock me out."
"Sweet," You smile up at him, the thought of a nicotine pouch resting on your gums brought you a little bit closer to satisfaction. "We should hang out soon, it's been a while."
"Jeez, I guess it has, a month is kinda long for us or has it been longer."
"I dunno, I lost track," You narrow your eyes, trying to think of the last time you had been with him one-on-one.
He acknowledges this with a hum "There's something I had to grab from my car at some point tonight anyways so this kinda works out."
"What is it?"
"You'll see," He shrugs.
"Kenny, what is it?" Your stomach drops a little bit. Whenever he was cryptic like this you knew there was something in the works within his brain.
"Don't worry," Kenny brushes you off, seemingly unbothered as he usually was.
"Dude, I'm worried."
"Okay, well I think the Zyn will help you with that," He jiggles the handle to the wood shop and holds it open for you.
Immediately you're greeted with the smell of woodchips and little particles of sawdust finding their way into your eyes, you clamp them shut and squeeze until the burning goes away. There isn't a single person inside, you didn't really expect the dusty woodshop to be a popular place to hang out during a lock-in.
"Don't make this a regular thing, I don't wanna see you abusing nicotine."
"I love nicotine, I would never abuse it," You reach for the phone in your pocket to turn on the flash. You wanted to be as discreet as possible, Kenny quietly shut the door behind the both of you.
The woodshop was eery in the darkness, it felt like you were in a horror movie where something would crawl out from beneath the table saw and maul you into a bloody mass of flesh pulsing on the floor.
"This shit is creepy," Kenny muttered, voicing your thoughts.
"I fucking know," You answer, "You think this is where Jigsaw makes his death traps?"
"Oh, definitely."
Kenny had a hand on your back to guide you to the exit door after you had almost knocked over a shelf of students' unfinished projects. Finally, you saw the exit sign hanging above a grey door, illuminated by your flash.
"Okay, just hold the door open but if anyone comes in, shut it and text me when they leave," Kenny yanks it open and the cold air hits you, forcing a shiver out of you.
"Just be quick, please," You take a spot standing in front of the heavy door while you watch Kenny jog away and disappear into the darkness. Kenny's car was what was referred to as a shit box. Every moment you spent in it you just kept thinking 'Okay, now it's going to give out' but it proved you wrong by pushing through with every rusted turn of the wheels.
His car was at the front of the school while you were stationed beside it, arms hugging yourself as the straight-edge t-shirt wasn't helping much to protect you from the cool night that hung on the other side of the doorframe.
Every passing second that Kenny was out of sight you grew just a little more concerned, constantly glancing back at the door of the woodshop. All of the blades and intricate machines seemed menacing when the only light that gleamed off the razor-sharp edges came from your phone.
"Keep the door open!" You hear Kenny's voice off in the distance.
You squint at the dark silhouette that is coming towards you full throttle with something being carried in front of him "Ken, what is that?" As his figure gets closer you can see the item he's holding is moving and squirming in his grip "What the fuck is that?"
The second Kenny steps foot inside you back away from him and let the door lock. He has a huge smile on his face while holding a raccoon underneath its armpits, his bottom half swaying slightly with every movement.
"That was the thing you had in your car?!" You can't help but shout, face contorted in horror at how easy-going Kenny was about holding a wild animal.
He grins mischievously. "Thought it'd be funny to let this little guy have a stroll, he's chill, he'll probably just walk around. Just a harmless prank."
Before you can protest, he loses his grip, and the raccoon drops to the ground with a thud. For a split second, it looks stunned. Then it bares its teeth, hissing angrily. Panic sets in as the raccoon charges toward you both.
"Fuck!" You shot away, weaving through the rows of workbenches and tools, careless not to knock anything over. You kept looking back at the feral animal charging you, bumping down projects and bottles of wood-blinding glue.
It was moments like these when you were glad that you ran track, not that you had ever been pursued by a feral animal before. You had started track initially to be sure you could run in a zombie apocalypse scenario and this was similar enough.
You throw the door to the woodshop open, Kenny follows behind you, regret obvious on his face. The hallways echo with the sound of your footsteps and the angry chittering of the raccoon. You glance back to see it gaining on you, its eyes glinting in the dim light.
Kenny splits down another hallway while you keep running straight, the raccoon chooses to follow you. There isn't anyone in the halls, all you can hear is the chatter within the classrooms. While you were sure you could fight a raccoon, you didn't want to risk the chance that it could bite you and you would forever be the girl who got rabies from a raccoon.
Kyle casually walks down the hallway in your direction, waving when he spots you "Why are you running?"
"Fucking run!" You shout gesturing for him to move in the other direction. He doesn't fight you on this, instead running next to you, trying to decode why you were frantically shifting your gaze all over the place.
"What's going on?" He asks, confusion clear across his face.
You ignore him, eyes catching on a classroom door which is slightly ajar, you snatch his hand and make a B-line for the class, yanking him in after you and shutting the door. You run your hands down your face, chest rising and falling with every shaky breath.
"Is there a shooter?"
"No," you say "It's a raccoon."
Any worry on his face drops immediately "Be serious for a minute."
"I'm so serious Kyle and that thing is insane, it's out for blood."
"Did it bite you or something?"
You yank out a chair from beneath a desk and plop yourself down in it "No and thank god." A scream sounds from somewhere down the hallway and Kyle's eyes widen "We gotta let them fend for themselves, don't be a hero."
"I wasn't planning on breaking any doors down and fighting a raccoon," He retorts "How did it even get inside?"
"Pfft, I wouldn't know man," You shake your head, making forceful eye contact.
"You let it in?"
"Kenny did."
"Mother fucker," he mutters. "That asshole."
"It's really not that big of a deal," You cross your arms and lean back in the chair, quick to defend Kenny even though you weren't thrilled about a wild animal set loose in the school you would pretend to be for his sake.
Kyle turns to face, jaw clenching tightly and you already regret your words "It's not that big of a deal?"
"Yeah," You say, firmly "It's really not."
His voice steadies, the rise of anger ringing clear in his tone  "Do you have any idea how many people could be hurt because of this?"
"It's fucking funny, Kyle," You exasperate, standing up from the chair and taking a stride toward him.
"How is this funny?"
"It's a raccoon that terrorizes a school, how is that not funny?"
"What if it had rabies?" 
"Kyle, that's life. Sometimes a raccoon is gonna break into a school and attack teenagers," You try to sound nonchalant but there's agitation clinging to your words "Life ain't all cookies and cream, lil fella."
"Do not ever call me lil fella."
"Sorry, lil fella," You shrug.
"Don't act like you weren't shaking in fear two minutes ago."
"I was and two minutes later it's hilarious, I would be laughing my ass off right now if you weren't about to punch a wall."
"I'm not going to punch a wall," Kyle sneered. 
"Are you gonna make a TikTok about it then?" 
"Jesus fucking Christ," He uttered looking away from you. 
"Acting like you've never done stupid shit before," You spit, moving closer until you're inches away from him. You felt that familiar surge of anger catching fire in your lungs, one that was sure to never be smothered "Pulling the fire alarm, punching Stan, taping porno magazines on Mr. Garrison's car-
"Those were ages ago," He cuts you off "At least some of us actually grew up."
"It's a fucking raccoon!" You throw your hands up in the air "And you're seventeen, you should think this is funny because it is and one day you're going to be an old wrinkly boney fuck with rotten testicles and wish that you revelled in this a little more."
"You aren't listening," His voice raises. Every few moments, he runs a hand through his hair in a quick, jerky motion, adding to the sense of barely contained rage.
He was right, you weren't listening. Kyle was hastily spitting out words while you just stared at him like his words were muffled to your ears. His arms are crossed tightly over his chest, muscles tensed with barely contained frustration. His brows are furrowed deeply, casting a shadow over his narrowed eyes that stay trained on your face. His jaw is clenched so tightly that a muscle twitches in his cheek, and his lips are pressed into a thin, hard line.
The sleeves of his hoodie are rolled up and you can see the veins and the muscles flexing. His face was almost flushed red with rage, for the first time you had noticed the light dusting of freckles spread over his nose. You remembered him having them as a kid, they came around in the summer when he would spend hours in the sports court and chasing his friends through the woods. His face was spotted like a fawn, though they dwindled with age they always got dark after he bathed in sunlight. 
"What?" He snaps, breaking your immersion "Are you going to say something?"
"Your freckles are coming in."
"What?" His eyebrows draw together even further. "What are you-
He is cut off by a sudden, sound of a heavy thump and metal hitting the linoleum and clattering in its place. You turn towards the sound and see that the vent covering has fallen off and something dark scuttles across the ground, catching only glimpses of it between rows and rows of desks. "Holy shit, it found me!" Without warning, the raccoon crashes against a desk with a ferocious growl, causing you to scream. Acting purely on instinct, you leap towards Kyle, wrapping your arms around him in a desperate bid for safety. His eyes widen in surprise, and for a moment, his anger is replaced by shock as he catches you. "What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck."
"What are you doing?" he exclaims, but his voice is less harsh than before, more surprised than angry though the irritation still hangs in his tone.
"I don't want to look at it," You squeeze your eyes shut and bury your face into Kyle's collarbone. "This is gonna be really funny in a week but I'm actually really fucking scared right now."
Kyle has one protective arm over your midriff as he leans forward the slightest to look at the raccoon that stands between the pair of you and the door. The raccoon hisses and bares its teeth at you, slobber foaming around its mouth "It has rabies," He says, backing away "It actually has rabies."
"Fuck!" You shout, breaking away from Kyle and trying to scramble onto a desk, so panicked your legs keep slipping until Kyle lifts you by your waist until your feet are flat on the surface and hops on a desk himself. "What the fuck do we do?"
The raccoon circled around the door, staggering like it had just drunk a forty. You fumbled for your phone in your pocket, looking up what to do when you encounter an animal with rabies. "What are you doing?"
"Okay, um, Reddit says to shoot it dead, bag it, and burn it," you look over at Kyle.
"Do you have a gun in your pocket?" He says with an antsy sarcasm.
"No."
"Well, that's super helpful, thank you," His face flat and voice mocking. 
"Not the time to be an asshole," As the raccoon snarls and regains its footing, you fumble for your phone, your hands shaking. "I'm calling the police," you tell Kyle, your voice trembling with a mix of fear and adrenaline.
Kyle nods, his eyes never leaving the raccoon. "Fucking hurry."
With trembling fingers, you dial 911, praying for a quick response. The raccoon begins to inch closer, its eyes locked onto you. "911, what's your emergency?" comes the operator's voice.
"We're trapped in a classroom with a rabid raccoon at Park County High," you say, your voice cracking. "It's really fucking gross looking like it's covered in mud and it had matted fur and shit." You shudder as it nears you "And it's pretty fucking fat, it jiggles when it walks."
"Okay, ma'am, I need you to stay calm," the operator replies, her voice steady and professional. "Can you confirm your location one more time?"
"Park County High, room 112," You wrinkle your nose as it begins to sniff up the desk you standing on "Its hands are dirty as shit, probably from being greedy and eating too much."
The operator starts to ask for details, but the raccoon lunges forward, coming dangerously close. Panic surges through you. Without thinking, you scream and hurl your phone at the animal. The device smacks the raccoon on the head, causing it to stumble and momentarily back off. Upon impact, your phone shatter, the screen glitching with colour before going black completely. 
The raccoon stumbles for a second before hissing and lunging at your ankles again. You retract your feet, trying not to tip onto the ground. You can tell the raccoon is charging up to attempt another jump onto the desk, you leap down in a moment of panic and kick the desk into it. The desk drops to its side and squashes the raccoon which lets out a yelp before squirming it's way out.
You ran to the front of the class grabbing any stray books off of desks and chucking them at the raccoon. Snatching the metre stick from the spot where it rested against the whiteboard, you begin to swat at the raccoon "I actually will not survive if I get rabies," Your voice shakes with every word.
"Yeah, no shit!" Kyle retorts, his hands flying arounf frantically and his mind paniced to do something. 
The metre stick only seems to make the raccoon more angry  "This feels like animal abuse!"
"It is!"
"Should I stop?"
"Do you want rabies?"
"No."
"Then no!" Kyle climbs down from his desk and frantically looks around for something to throw at the raccoon, he grabs a thick textbook from the teacher's desk and throws it down at the rabid creature. It squeaks, staggers, and snaps its jaws, ignoring Kyle and staying focused on you.
"Kyle, open the door!" You shout, prodding at the raccoon in a feeble attempt to keep it away from your flesh. 
He jiggles the handle to no avail, it doesn't budge. There's nothing but a familiar snigger on the only side of the door. "Cartman, open the door!" 
"If you pay me twenty bucks right now." His irritating voice answers. 
"What? I don't have money on me." He lifted the little shade that covered the glass panel on the door and of course, there was the back of Cartman's head.
"You're Jewish, that's impossible."
"I'll fucking Paypal you the money just open the door," Kyle's voice rises with every word. 
"Jewrat, I know you have your little gold pouch on you."
"Did you put the fucking raccoon in the vent?" 
"That depends," His voice is as smug as ever.
"I'm gonna kick your teeth in!" He slams his body against the door but Cartman is without question the heavier one leaning on the other side.  "Open the door!" 
"Is it ethical to kill it?" You crawl on top of the teacher's desk, kicking random items down every time the raccoon attempts to jump. It hits the creature's head with a little thud though it's only stunned for a moment before it goes back to attacking like it shot up some kind of drug.
“That doesn’t really matter,” Kyle does a run against the door, it looks like it's going to cave inward.
You had run out of supplies to knock on the raccoon's head, it grabbed hold of your shoe, getting more agitated with every attempt to shake it off. "Fuck, fuck, shitballs, fucking cunt licker!"
In mere seconds Kyle grabs a chair by its legs and bashes down onto the raccoon which claws into your shoes in an attempt to stay on you but the force of the chair brought it barrelling to the ground. It twitches under the chair, ragged breathes and squeals. "Did it bite you?" 
You shake your head, a hand slapped over your mouth as you look down at the animal writing below. "Where the fuck are the police?" You scream. Kyle helps you down from the desk and you immediately spring towards the door, banging on it with all of your force "Eric, open the door or I'm gonna throw rocks through your window, you dumb whore!" 
"Tell the jew to slide a bill under the floor," He says nonchalantly. Through the glass panel on the door, you can hardly see the rest of the hallway past Cartman's head which appears to be vacant. You turn back to Kyle who throws his hands up in exasperation then look to where the raccoon begins to stir on the floor and find its footing. 
"I'm going to ask one more time, open the fucking door," You try to keep your voice as still as possible despite shaking with rage and biting the inside of your mouth so hard that blood mixes with your saliva.
"I'm going to ask one more time, tell Kyle to-
You ball your hand into a fist and rear your elbow out, connecting your knuckles to the glass panel that was once separating the two of you from Cartman. It shatters on impact, sending a spiderweb of cracks radiating outwards. The sound of breaking glass fills the room, echoing off the walls. You reach your other arm through broken glass and wrap your hands around Cartman's pudgy neck.
The panic is evident, his hand moving quickly to try and pry your hands away from him. You refuse to let go, holding him against the door despite his choking sputters and the urgent tapping over your hands. 
"Open the fucking door!" You shout again, wringing Cartman's neck like a soaked towel, ignoring the little shards of glass stuck in your hands and the jagged edges of the frame cutting up your forearm. You were a lot less scared of Cartman than you were of the raccoon carrying a deadly illness.
He coughs, each breath becoming shallower and more desperate than the last. His hand fumbles for the door handle and the second you see the light from the hallway spill through a crack, you let go of Cartman and slam your body on the door which finally lets out.
You stumble through the door and into the hallway, watching your shaking hand engrained with little shards of class. Cartman's breathing heavily against a wall, his face the brightest shade of red you had ever seen on a human.
Kyle walks through, eyes wide and brows furrowed at the sight before him.  He looks at you, shutting the door behind him "Is it funny now?"
"Kinda actually, yeah."
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