#south park imagines

[mccormickgf]

Hiiii, can u do a craig tucker with a baby fever/breeding kink x fem reader?? It would give me so much life cause i been reading the same fanfics of him over and over 😭, thank you so much if you do it

need to breed : craig tucker

warnings: nsfw (18+), fem and afab reader, breeding, p-in-v sex, pregnancy mentions, overstimulation, feral craig tbh

notes: i was just gonna write the smut part, but i love craig sm and wanted to write more 😭 also i haven’t written smut in months so i apologize if i’m rusty <3

“we should have a kid.”

you nearly choke on your own spit at your husband’s forwardness. craig’s always been very blunt in what he says about things or others. but when it comes to the things he wants, he’s a little less vocal. so hearing a suggestion, especially like the one he said, threw you for a loop.

“you- you want to get me pregnant?” you questioned, disbelief in your tone, “and have a baby?”

“that’s usually the order it goes in, yeah.”

you roll your eyes at his sass, but you don’t comment on it. instead, you question him. “whatever, whatever,” you said, “but what’s making you want this now?”

even before you and craig got married, you two talked about having kids one day. it was something both of you wanted in the future. but you weren’t expecting the conversation to happen in the near future.

craig pushes off the doorframe, walking his body to his side of the bed. you watch him curiously as his eyes trail down your body— only wearing a pair of sleep shorts and a thin tank top.

“clyde keeps sending me pictures of he and his wife’s new baby,” craig explained, “it— i guess it just makes me wonder what our baby would look like. and we have the funds to stay afloat, even with one.”

you smile lightly at him. you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it. maybe it’d have craig’s jet black hair and your eyes, or your hair and craig’s eyes and nose. when you thought about his strong arms holding onto a little chubby baby— your heart soared.

you press a kiss to the tip of his nose. “let’s try.”

a broken sob falls past your lips as craig thrusts inside of you for the umpteenth time. you don’t know how long you’ve been there, laying on your back on the mattress with your legs folded to your shoulders, but you know you’ve been there long enough for craig to fuck three loads into your sopping cunt. or was it four? you could barely remember your own name, let alone how many times you’ve both cum.

“craig— oh god! it’s too much, ‘s too much!” you cried out. craig’s thrusts were furiously fast, yet accurate enough to hit that one spot that made you see stars over and over again.

“you can take it— fuck!” craig groaned, “gotta make sure you get pregnant, right?”

a shaky moan falls past your lips as you bite the bottom one, your fingers gripping the sheets beneath you like a vice.

normally, craig is a slow-fucker. not necessarily overly slow in pace, but in how he takes his time to pleasure you fully. but this? this is a whole new thing for you and him. it’s like a switch got flipped inside his brain, and everything else was shut off except for his need to breed you.

craig’s cock continued to move in and out of you at an animalistic pace. your pussy was beyond spent, leaking a mix of his cum (that he hasn’t already fucked back into you) and yours onto the bedsheets. if you weren’t so out of it, you’d be embarrassed at the mess beneath you and the sound of it being fucked back into you.

“gonna fill you up with my babies, make you a mama,” craig continued to ramble, a small sheen of sweat on his forehead, “you’d like that wouldn’t you? get you all, shit— nice and pregnant.”

your cunt involuntarily squeezed around his cock at his words, a pornographic moan escaping you. craig lightly chuckled, “oh, so you do like it. i just felt your pretty pussy squeeze me.”

your face burns, but there’s very little chance for embarrassment as you feel another orgasm building up, a heat in your tummy. frantic moans and whines escape you, the pleasure bordering on painful from how many times you’ve cum.

“god, fuck!” you cried, “craig, ‘m gonna cum!” tears of pleasure escape your eyes, falling down your cheeks.

with one hand, craig reaches down and runs firm yet rhythmic circles on your clit, making you gasp. with the other, he grabs onto your hand, pressing it to his lips.

“you gonna cum with me, honey?” he said, his thrusts becoming slightly sloppier as he gets closer to his orgasm, “i’m gonna— gonna fill you up again, k? to make sure you have my baby.”

pleas leave your lips as you grip craig’s hand, throwing your head back as the heat in your stomach finally releases with a final loud moan. craig quickly follows, groaning as his load fills your pussy.

craig stays inside of you as his forehead falls against yours, both of your chests moving up and down in sync. you feel beyond spent, your legs numb from holding them up for so long.

but before you can say anything, craig leans up slightly so he can look in your eyes. “got one more in ya, honey? i wanna make sure i get you pregnant on the first try.”

[reinerismwrld]

Private Lessons

Pairing: Kenny McCormick x f!Reader

Summary: After Kenny found out you've never kissed anyone, he decided that not only would he give you your first kiss but also show you all the things you've been missing out on.

GENRE: Fluff and smut. AGED UP CHARACTERS.

☀️fluff  🌧angst  ❄️smut

1. kissing ☀️

2. dry humping ☀️❄️

3. hickeys

4. foreplay (orals, mastubation)

5. 1st time (sex)

6. toys

7. safe words

m a s t e r l i s t s

s p  m a s t e r l i s t

n a v i g a t i o n

[kwnnys]

omg.. ur back;;; 🤯

pleas plea stan but reader is super physically affectionate, like kissing on the cheek n hugging n holding hands js casually with friends. before and after when theyre in a relationship :3

a/n ; YES I AM BACK!!!! (hopefully for good and I won't immediately die a week later).

anyway, I got rlly into this during the beginning then gradually just kinda died a little at the end. but aaa this was so fun to write 🫶🫶 my love language is physical touch so!!! yea!!!

— STAN MARSH W/ PHYSICALLY AFFECTIONATE READER!

before you guys start dating :

not used to this much affection at ALL. he gets very confused and nervous whenever you hold his hand or brush his hair from his face. but over time grows used to it

the guys tease him for it (mainly cartman) which is a bit embarrassing for him. he tries not to let it get to him though.

at first tries to avoid your physical advances. like whenever he sees you running towards him ready to tackle him in a hug he will just quickly take a step to the side and watch as you plummet into a pile of snow.

tries not to laugh while he helps you up. also tries to convince you that it was purely out of instinct and that he didn't mean to let you fall face first into the freezing snowflakes. (although fails to do so, considering the muffled snickers that he tries to hide behind his gloved hands.)

feels more guilty when you eventually get sick because of the incident, and decides to repay you by offering as many free hugs as you want for an entire week.

as the months go by, he gets used to your warm touches. your morning greeting hugs and your handholding sessions after the schoolday is over.

but then he notices how your touches linger for a tad too long. the way your hands squeeze his before letting go, shooting him one last wave as you hop towards the entrance of your home.

and he feels a weird skip in his heart. the tips of his ears and his cheeks flush red. his body feels awfully warm, and he doesn't know why.

day by day, he grows to look forward to your touches. to your presence in general. and the feeling of your palms in his doesn't feel too embarrassing anymore. not when you're grinning widely beside him, happy that he's no longer fussing over you holding his hand.

that warm feeling in his chest grows tighter and tighter with every smile you shoot at him. to the point where he can't take it anymore, and he eventually confesses to you. right under a random big tree.

you're surprised, but not at all disappointed! the moment the words "I like you." utter from his mouth, you're tackling him to the ground. a surprised yelp leaving the boy as he's sent rolling on the floor. you flash him the happiest smile he's seen from you yet, before crashing your lips down to meet his. (the gang is watching from not too far, jaws dropped to the floor. cartman now owes kenny 5 dollars.)

after you guys start dating:

and just like that, you are in a committed relationship with stan marsh! both of you being equally head over heels for each other, it's almost cringey to watch.

your physical affections only grow from there. now you're smothering your boyfriend in kisses every chance you get, your actions never failing to make the boy freeze before grinning like a lovestruck fool.

he loves when you rest your head on his shoulder, or when you wrap your arm around his. It gives him a massive ego boost.

cuddle sessions 🔛🔝

gets so giddy when you kiss his cheek or his forehead. do it right before leaving and he's left standing in the hallway like an idiot.

[missusdunn]

Matt x F!Reader (+ Trey)

Smut, Voyeurism, Male Masturbation

It was late at night after a long day of traveling. I had decided to tag along with my husband, Matt, on his work travels. I, of course, would miss him terribly like always if I didn’t come. Luckily he was happy to have me. And Trey didn’t seem to mind it either.

The three of us find a hotel for the night. Once we get to the front desk we learn that there are only two-bed bedrooms left.

Okay, not a big deal. We’re all adults here. Except, I anticipated having my husband tonight and I knew nothing would stop me. Maybe I could come up with some excuse to be alone with my Matt.

We take the room. Trey and Matt don’t seem to care about sharing a room together. We make our way to our room.

It’s quite small but just enough for tonight. It had two full-sized beds, a TV, and a chair in the corner of the room. Trey claims the bed on the further side leaving Matt and I to the first bed. I knew this was my chance to get it in with my husband. “Hey, Matty, I'm gonna take a shower,” I say expectantly but all he does is give a weak nod. He looked exhausted, they both did. But unfortunately, I’m selfish when it comes to my feminine urges.

I watch idly as both get ready for bed rather quickly. Matt gave me a look, silently asking me if I was still gonna take a shower. I leave that thought behind and I just get in bed with my husband.

The lights go out once I cuddle into my husband's side. Matt lays on his back and his arm wraps around my waist once I cuddle into him. I trail my fingers down his chest seductively while he grabs my hand stopping me in my tracks. “Not tonight, baby.” He whispers in the dark. “But I need you.” I rebutted quietly. “I'll be quick” All he does is sigh defeatedly. “Fine. but you’ll have to be quiet.” I perk up at his defeat “Yes, baby.” I then pull him into a heated kiss.

Trey’s POV

My head hits the pillow once I turn off the lights. I was too tired to care about anything. I could hear Matt and y/n whisper faintly but I was almost half asleep by then. Until I hear lips smacking, quickened breaths, and hushed moans.

My eyes shoot wide open. Goddammit. I should’ve known this would happen. I look over to their bed and see y/n’s figure on top of Matt's. Despite it being dark I could still see the couple almost clearly. I watch as y/n then straddles Matt only to turn herself around into a reverse cowgirl position. Holy shit.

I had to admit that I had a thing for y/n. My best friend's wife. She's an attractive woman, and I'm only a man. I remember how Matt and I used to talk about her before they started dating. How hot she is and what we would do to her. And now this is my best friend’s reality. Good for him. Truly. But that didn’t stop my dick from jumping at the sight of y/n about to ride her husband.

She aligns herself with Matt under the covers before sinking onto him. She lets out a breathy moan and a quiet whimper that Matt pulls her hair for; a reminder for her to shut up. She then begins to bounce on him up and down. The noises. Oh my god, the noises. The sound of her creamy wet pussy riding Matt's dick mixed with the sound of her ass slapping against his hips. I could see her in the moonlight bouncing on him like she was possessed. I couldn’t help but bring my attention to my cock. I begin to stroke it as my eyes are glued onto her ass. I desperately try to imagine it’s me she's bouncing on as I stroke myself faster and faster. I feel myself getting closer as I take in the scene. The sight of her bouncing on his cock mixed with the sounds of it all was enough to bring me to my climax. I cum all over my hand still imagining her. I tuck my dick back into the waistband of my boxers as I listen to them finish. They both cum with a moan and she lets out a suppressed squeal that he slaps her ass for. Their movements slow and she gets off of him and cuddles into his side. Before I fall asleep I hear faint whispers from them again. “I love you.” and a quiet “I love you too.”

[corporatefrog]

╭₊˚ ๑︰REQUEST: Having a sleepover with Superhero!Stan, Kyle, and Kenny when Professor Chaos attacks South Park!

✧.* tags: college au, neighbors, superhero au

✧.* Characters: stan marsh, kenny mccormick, kyle broflovski, butters scotch

a/n: i didn't know how to introduce or end this piece so i made it a mix of headcannons/oneshot! do you guys prefer reading one over the other? i lowkey think a miraculous au with the superheros would be SO COOL

masterlist

living in the same apartment building means it's super easy to have SLEEPOVERS!! 

Butters usually joins you, but he said he was feeling under the weather today :(

just dance is a MUST 

Kyle and Kenny get really into it 

Stan definitely is the type just to move his arm 

"why are you guys doing the legs too, it only tracks the remote"

"it tracks you SPIRIT too Stan that's why you're fucking losing"

"you're literally in last place Kenny"

the night always ends with a funny or scary movie 

but tonight when you're setting up, a notification interrupts you 

Four phone's simultaneously erupt in the iconic bird tweet, screens around the room lighting up with the same words: 

ALERT: Villain activity has been spotted in the park! Unknown plants with spiked teeth have sprouted from the ground and have begun eating local teens. 

I went to grab my phone, squinting to see the words from the bright screen in the dark room.

"Dude, what the fuck-"

"I HAVE TO GO WATER MY PLANTS!" Kenny suddenly shouted, running out the door before any of us had a chance to react. 

I turned to look at Kyle but he'd already gotten up from the couch and was lacing up his shoes. 

He looked up and met my gaze, giving an apologetic smile before standing, "Sorry, yn, I just remembered I've got a paper due tomorrow and I've got to finish a few paragraphs still." He explained, rushing out the door in a similar style to Kenny. 

But Kyle finishes his papers a week before theyre due. why would he still need to write a few paragraphs?

"Do you know what's up with them?" I asked, turning to the kitchen where Stan was making popcorn. Well, was as in past tense. By the time I turned to the kitchen, Stan was gone with a bowl of popcorn sitting on the counter. 

Hearing the doorknob turn, I whipped my head around to see Stan halfway out the door. 

He paused with one foot out when he noticed my eyes on him.

"uh…" he trailed off, searching for the words for his reason, "We'll do this tomorrow! bye yn!" and with that, Stan Marsh shut the door and I was sitting alone in my apartment. 

What the fuck just happened?

Without anything else to do, I decided to put on my shoes as well and investigate what was happening in the park. I had a youtube channel to run, after all. And who knows, maybe I'll get some good superhero shots tonight!

Halfway to the park, my wish comes true. Through the sky, a blur of color speeds through the air. 

That’s got to be Human Kite!

I pull out my phone and aim it towards the sky, zooming in on his face as he looks down. Through the screen, I can see his eyes widen as his mouth moves in words I can’t hear. Suddenly, he’s nose diving towards the ground. I worry he’s going to crash but he pulled up at the last second and lands on his feet. 

"You really shouldn't be in this area, we don't know how far the plant problem has spread." He holds up a hand to block your camera as he speaks to you. Human Kite always was more camera shy than the others. It was rare that you got a good shot of him during your on-site reporting. 

God damnit, Kite, I’m trying to speak for the people here!

"That's exactly why I need to be here! how else are the people of south park going to know the true events!" You refute, moving the camera above his hand to refocus my frame. 

Down the street, a plant burst through the concrete, purple and green spotted head screaming at an ear piercing volume. The head lunged at a teen trying to escape on their bike, cutting off their cries of terror with a single chomp. 

“See that! That’s the type of truth the people of South Park need to see!” I exclaimed, leaning to the right to zoom in on the plant happily crunching on the teen as muffled cries of “oh god!” and “Why, Jesus! WHY!” echoed down the street. 

Human Kite stepped to the right, blocking my frame, “I’m serious, this area is extremely dangerous. You need to get as far away as-” The jaws of a mutant plant closed around him before the sentence could finish. I scrambled away from the plant, clutching my phone close to my heart in case it attempted to beat out of my chest. 

“NO!” A shout sounded from behind me. I spun with my camera to catch Toolshed rushing down the street with a weed wacker in hand. 

“KY- I MEAN KITE, HUMAN KITE!” He stuttered, likely due to the stress of watching your partner in crime fighting be eaten by a giant piranha plant. It was at this point he noticed you standing there, camera still held up to catch his expression shift. 

“Uh- Civilian! You need to get back!” He said, holding out an arm between me and the plant to push me back. I lifted my arms to keep my shot clear. 

“No, no, it’s alright! I’m just here to film this for the town! I’ll just be back here, this camera has a great zoom.” I flashed the snazzy camera setup in his direction before refocusing on the plant that ate Kite. 

Toolshed opened his mouth to protest but before he could, Professor Chaos emerged from behind the plant, maniacally cackling with arms outstretched as if to bask in his own villainous glory. 

Wow, this is a great shot. The people are going to love this. 

I focused my camera on the villain as he began to speak. 

“That’s right! I’ve captured the Human Kite within my carnivorous plants! And soon you will all be-” Chaos stopped his monologue as our eyes met. The devious smile shifted to a wide grin as he waved a tinfoil wrapped hand, “oh hey yn!” 

I gave a quick wave back, “Hey Chaos!” 

“Chaos? Oh yeah, CHAOS!” Professor Chaos snapped back into action, strutting around the plant which held the Human Kite as if it were the prize pig at the fair. 

“This is some of my best work yet! Months of experimenting have allowed me to develop the perfect containment for you stupid heroes! And soon, you’ll all be nothing but plant food!” 

A flash of darkness crossed my vision to my left. 

“You’ll never get away with this, Chaos.” Mysterion crouched atop a boulder, deep voice reverberating through the air. 

Holy shit it’s Mysterion! The viewers are going to love this!

The statement only made Professor Chaos laugh, “Never get away with this? But I already have! Half of the town is being digested in my plants of chaos and the other half is soon to follow!”

God damn, this is good. I can’t wait to tell the guys about this!

After professor chaos is defeated (like always), Mysterion leads to back to your apartment, chastising you for getting in the middle of another hero/villain altercation

At this point, you know the whole script he goes through about how “it’s really not safe” and “you can’t just run into a fight between superhumans” 

And you nod and say you’ll never do it again

But you totally will

The next day, you tell the guys all about it

But they all seem super tired for some reason

You asked Kyle what paper he had to write so suddenly and he responded that he wrote a philosophy paper’s due date wrong in his phone and only noticed when the Call Girl notification went out

Seems a little sketchy but okay

At the end of the day, they’re your friends and you love them

You all make plans to redo your sleepover that weekend! And Butters is able to come this time since he’s feeling better! 

[heinouscolette]

For You

Casanova!Kenny McCormick x Reader | High School AU

"Stop staring at him, you look like a stalker."

Nicole rolled her eyes at your fascination to the musty blonde haired man. You're looking at him like a hopeless romantic that fantasizes scenarios on her bed. It's the fourth time of the week that you invited her out to come watch the football practice. It's getting out of hand.

She knows that Kenny isn't for you, with that womanizer persona that gets his fans drop to their knees and he looks like he doesn't take a bath. He would clearly play with your heart.

"Girl, get a grip, you know he's up to no good."

"I can't help it."

Nicole furrowed her eyebrows at you in disbelief, what do you mean you can't help it? You are aware what this man is capable of and you decided to ignore it? Nicole's thoughts of objections to your infatuation was set aside when she saw how you look at Kenny. You're completely whipped for the guy.

She just sighed and pat your back.

You waited for Kenny outside the showers right after their practice. You prepared a love letter and sweets that conveys how you felt about him. Surely, you know that he'll appreciate the treat you have, because you saw how he treat his fangirls, he accommodates them.

Kenny was in surprise to find you handing out the letter you wrote for him right after he went out. You look nervous yet has that lovestruck look in your eyes. Great, another one.

"Just what are you doing here, babe?" He smirked at you giving his signature look for his fans. He towers over you and looking at you intently. His actions made you flustered and couldn't form the words you want to say, so you ended up pushing the letter and sweets to him and hurriedly left the scene.

Kenny sighed, that was so cringy like straight out of a cringy something movie. He just wasted his breath for a runner. He scanned the envelope of the letter you gave him and straight away knew it was a confession one, it made him chuckle.

"What a kid."

He crumpled the letter and it went straight to the bin. He popped one candy and gave the rest to the gang.

-

Kenny furrowed his eyebrows at you when he saw you entered the cafeteria holding a bag of cookies. He knows you'll go his way if you ever spot him, so he prepared himself on how he's going to talk to you. When you finally noticed where he was, your eyes lit up and happily approached him.

You caught the other boys' attention when you stood near their table and their eyes are just glued to you. You felt alienated by their stares but tried to pay no mind to it. But, when you finally said your greetings to Kenny, they went back to what they're doing. Like, it's expected or something.

"You finally have the courage, doll?" He once again gave you his smirk that all the ladies receive from him, and it doesn't differs to you.

"I just wanna give this to you." You nervously handed him the bag of cookies you baked last night, with a tag that wrote "I like you". He smiled at you and said his thanks.

After you left their table, he gave the sweets to Cartman. "What, you don't like food anymore?"

"Not really, I just get more than enough of these."

-

"Come on, let's go home!" Nicole called for you from the door of the room.

"I can't! I have to give this to Kenny!" You fixed your things and fetched another set of snacks you brought for Kenny. You've been giving him snacks for a few days now. Your hopes are building up for him as he's been nice during your interactions to each other.

"What, you think he likes you or something? I am telling you, he's only playing with you." Nicole crossed her arms as she leaned into the door frame of the classroom.

"Don't be like that, then I just have to work hard."

"What? Be for real." She rolled her eyes at you and you just nudged her side and giggled.

You bid your goodbyes to Nicole and went straight to the lockers. You waited for Kenny next to his locker as their would be just getting ready for practice.

You spot him walking to his locker while his eyes are glued to his phone. You called for him which broke his contact to the screen and search for the source of his name and saw you. His gaze slightly shift into a blank stare which confused you.

"Uhm... I brought you snacks for later." You gave him the bag you have for him.

Kenny scanned the bag of cookies and saw the tag that wrote "I like you" once again. He internally sighed and didn't take the bag that you were offering for him.

You were just standing there, I bit confused of the situation. It made you look at what you brought, checking if there's something wrong with it, but there was none.

"I don't like you, you're starting to annoy me." He smiled without his eyes, it sheds no emotion of some sort, a pretend one.

"I just want to give you these cookies..." You just smiled at him.

"You think, I didn't know what you're up to? Just get lost." He slightly pushed the bag of cookies back to your direction indicating a clear rejection.

"I'm sorry." You covered you face as tears welled up, and you could feel your throat closing up. You quietly left the scene, not wanting to catch the stares of the students around the two of you.

Nicole's really gonna scold you tonight.

To be continued...

[chocolatte-and-despair]

Yandere Michael when the reader already has a partner

Michael (Tall Goth)

Michael and you were so different. Like the sun and the moon. If Michael was always in the shadows, then you were at the front, shining so brightly. Even so, you never looked down on him and the two of you became friends eventually.

Michael started to feel something for you. Something that moved his heart in a way that had never been moved before. You were all he could think about. Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw your reflection, driving him to believe this had to be fate.

Fate itself wanted for you two to be together. Because of his parent's failed marriage, he couldn't believe that love could work out, but you were proving him wrong, making his nihilistic heart move in ways it had never before.

If he was younger, he would believe that you bewitched him with some sort of normie witchcraft ritual, but he was older and mature enough to realize the truth.

Just as Michael found how pleasant being in love was, he found out how painful it could be the moment he saw you kissing someone else.

The two of you were meant to be together. It was written in the stars, in poems, it was simply the truth. You defying what was written into fate was going to result in a lot of bad things happening to you and that filth that dared to steal your heart.

Michael never thought that he would fall so madly in love that he would ever try to sabotage someone, but here he was, paying people to spread rumors about your partner, and even bringing out the old curse book to cast whatever curse he could on your partner.

He was simply trying to put everything back into its place. He was fixing the wrong, so you finally end up in the arms of who truly loves you, who your soul screams for.

It may take long, but Michael will have you in the end. He knows that you two are soulmates.

[damagedintellect]

Craig Tucker x Fem!reader

💌 Craig Tucker is a mother fucker: Chapter 11  💌  

Summary:  You want to say that it wasn't your fault buuuuuut it kinda was. You didn't think much of it as you casted your joke vote for the "Hottest guy in school" and in hindsight you should never listen to Clyde but it was pretty funny at the time. Craig just wanted a peaceful junior year and you can't blame him for that however waking up the morning after a party, in his bed, being told that you two were dating wasn't exactly your definition of peaceful either.

Notes:  I was always too scared of the fandom to post it back in the day but I wrote this before Creek was made canon so let's just say Craig is bi for my sake because I've had a huge crush on him since forever. My S/O pointed out that Craig is just Trafalgar Law but with a guinea pig instead of a polar bear and I haven't been the same since I have a type and it's them.

💌 Word count: 1,662 💌  <= Previous | Chapter 12 coming soon

Craig felt strange and not just because he was slightly nauseous from the night before. The textures were all wrong, the pillows, the sheets, even his blanket everything felt foreign to him. He slowly shifted to his side, not quite ready to get up feeling sickly from the night before. Clyde was right he should have paced himself more. His head was pounding and he felt like if he moved too fast he would throw up whatever he had left in his stomach. Craig tried to paw at the waste bin he kept beside his bed just in case, however he was confused when he was groping dead air. He could have sworn it was on the right side of his bed. He didn't recall moving it but Clyde could have after he took him home. It wasn't often that Craig decided to drink let alone drink himself sick so whenever the rare occurrence happened Clyde turned into a mom making sure he was taken care of. As annoying as Clyde could be, he was still a good friend. Craig tried to recall what happened last night, it was harder than he thought although he did remember Clyde driving him but even the memory of him getting in his truck was kind of fuzzy. Craig bit the bullet and slowly opened his eyes, the room spinning for a moment as he tried to focus on what he was seeing.

This wasn't his room.

His eyes widened, it wasn't Clyde's either. It didn't look like any of his friends' rooms. He shut his eyes tight as the room continued to spin trying to steady himself knowing that he was lying perfectly still and the nausea would subside if he focused hard enough. Meanwhile he tried his best to play through the events of last night only vaguely remembering Clyde suggest he talk to-

His eyes snapped open once more, this time picking a spot on the ceiling to focus on before carefully turning to the other side of the bed. His suspicions of whose room this was were correct as beautiful eyes stared back into his.

You snickered at his reaction "Morning~" you cooed softly knowing he most likely has a pretty severe headache considering he pass out on the ride home "How you feeling?" You couldn't help but stifle a laugh at the familiarity of the situation.

Oh how the tables have turned.

Last night you managed to convince Clyde that instead of taking Craig home that he should take him back to your house. You saw an opportunity and you took it, slightly surprised that Clyde had agreed. Actually? Who are you kidding? He had been begging you to talk to Craig all week and having you request to, essentially, help kidnap Craig was probably icing on his metaphorical cake.

Craig groaned in response to your question closing his eyes once more "Like death" he grabbed his head massaging his temples to try to relieve some pressure from his head that was still spinning a bit. You shyly smile as you grab the plate you had set by your bed. "Here, I got you some toast and ginger."

"She drinks one time and suddenly she's an expert on hangovers." He grabbed the toast from you taking a bite "And yet she can't pass math grade." You rolled your eyes at him wanting to tell him off that you aced the last test but that was beside the point. "Actually Clyde was the one who told me to give this to you. Said something about ginger stopping you from blowing chunks." You offered Craig a water bottle "Ginger helps stop nausea, I'm the one who told him that because I take care of his sorry ass all the time." You snickered taking out some aspirin "Really? That's not the story I heard. He said it's because when you guys were kids you'd have him spin you on the merry go round as practice for space training."

Craig pinched the bridge of his nose, why'd Clyde have to out him like that. You nudged his arm holding out the pills. "Spaceman Craig~ ya know I would have never guessed."

"Cut the crap, why am I here?"

You sigh frowning at his attitude wondering just how much of it was him not feeling well or just him putting up a front. "You really don't remember anything from last night do you." He sat up brushing crumbs off your blanket before pulling his knees to his chest "Do I even want to know?"

"Eh that depends do you want the good news or the bad news," You smiled at him. "Either way there's going to be talk on Monday." Craig sat for a moment weighing out his options. "Start with the bad news because knowing you, you're just going to say the good news there is only bad news or some shit."

You shrugged, he got you there. "I mean you're not wrong, that does sound like something I'd do but not this time. The bad news is you cried in front of Clyde, like full on bawling your eyes out." you paused waiting for his reaction. He let his head drop into his knees knowing that the bastard is never going to let him live that down. "And well everyone at that party. You were kind of a mess when Clyde called me over." it was quiet for a little while before either of you said anything. Craig frowned "That it?"

"I guess? I wasn't around for most of it and we didn't really stay too long after that." Craig turned to face you scrunching up his face clearly annoyed but then again he was almost always annoyed "Then what's the good news? I don't remember anything from last night and you're not exactly being storyteller of the year."

"I well.... the good news is." You trailed off, this was harder than you thought. You could just lie to him, it's not like he'd ever know. It was one thing to say it to him knowing he won't remember but what happened next was what you were afraid of. "You see I," the words were caught in your throat still and Craig gave you a confused look while gradually sitting up normally. You were getting more flustered by the minute, you didn't think this through. Last night you were kind of just running off the adrenaline of the party. "Well," you huffed in frustration "You kept muttering that I like Stan so I told you that yes, I like Stan but like I don't... I don't love Stan." You could see the gears turning in Craig's head as you felt the heat creep up your face "Anyways the bottom line was I didn't want things to go back to normal." you said normal in air quotes before you turned away twirling your hair while muttering quietly "Because, I'm in love with you."

Out of the corner of your eye you watched Craig's quizzical look soften shifting somewhere between what you think is disbelief and a genuine smile. Craig shielded his face with his hand, he was so afraid of rejection he never thought to entertain the idea that you might end up liking him back. He smirked after connecting all the dots. "What'd you say? I didn't catch that, you said what?" He teased leaning into your personal space cupping his hand around his ear. Gritting your teeth you spat "I said I love you dumbass. Happy now?" you pushed him away and crossed your arms. You take everything back bringing Craig here was a bad idea.

"Thought so." he said very smugly, sipping water. You rolled your eyes at him hitting his arm "Yeah like fuck you did, then why'd you break up with me?"

He sat up straight and very tense at the switch in subject "You blew me off!"

Your eyes go wide "What! When?"

"The morning after we-you up and left!"

You pointed a finger in his face "You left first! I only left because you disappeared. Where'd you even go?" He was quietly scratching the back of his neck before looking down at your comforter with a long sigh. "A few weeks ago you said you wanted to try this bakery but they were only open in the early morning" He glanced back at you blush lightly dusting his face "I figured since I woke up early enough I'd grab something."

Your mouth fell open in awe but you immediately furrowed your eyebrows "And you didn't think to leave a note!"

"It's not like I was going to be gone long, besides I didn't think you'd just leave like that."

"I don't know I panicked"

Craig frowned looking off to the side ruffling your hair "God you are annoying." He glanced at you admitting defeat "But I guess that makes two of us."

You swatted his hand away fixing your hair "Good, because I wanna know something" you shifted now that everything was more or less cleared up. As if it already wasn't a lot to think about you need to ask even if you wouldn't get a straight answer but now with most of the cards on the table you felt comfortable even if you didn't get an answer.

"What"

"I mean I already told you, you know that I lov-ah that I liked you so I-" He cut you off pulling you into a kiss. "There, you happy now" He said, mocking your comment from earlier as he laid back down, turning away from you as you touched your lips smiling. It wasn't exactly what you were going for but at least now you didn't have to second guess yourself. It was a huge weight off your shoulders but it left you wondering.

"When did you know?" Craig slowly laid on his back staring at the ceiling "You can't be serious, what kind of question is that?"

[luujjvi]

stop scrolling for a moment and appreciate this big ol fosh

[missuswalker]

Dude the red hcs are so good bc I have the exact same vision of her in my head like playing volleyball and being extremely gay and pining for Wendy like that’s EXACTLY what I thought too 😭😭 BOUNCING OFF THAT VOLLEYBALL IDEA could you do mutual pining hcs of basketball player Kyle and volleyball player reader please? With bff Red on the side bc the energy u gave her makes me wanna see u write her more HAHA thank you!!

THIS IS SO BFHEFBEUIHU!!! lets kiss.

cheer you on || kyle broflovski x fem reader

✮ summary: your best friend, red, has been trying to convince you that kyle likes you, though you aren't totally convinced until he shows it himself (pt two can be found here) ✮ warnings: stanley marsh jumpscare

"God damn, he's so damn fine." Red gives me a look, already knowing who I was talking about. "Girl, you're like a stalker, hashtag free Kyle," Red scoffs, looking in the direction I was. "Yeah, well you can't tell me that Wendy isn't in your recently searched on Insta," I retort. "I could. It just wouldn't be true."

My eyes stayed on Kyle, watching as he talks to his friends, telling someone off for spilling water all over the lunch table. Kyle and I were okay friends, we talked when we saw each other, but it was never much more than that. Red swore on her life that he flirts with me all the time, but I could only think he was just being nice.

"If you don't go talk to him, I'm drowning you." Red jests, taking a sip from her water bottle. "Hell no, are you insane?" I say, shutting even the idea of talking to him down, stealing a grape out of Red's lunchbox. "He's looking over here," Red whispers, elbowing me.

"Shut up!" I snap, trying not to give in to the urge to look back. "Woah, woah, woah, he's coming over her," Red continues, her voice louder than I would've liked it to be. "Shut up!" I repeat, acting like I didn't have a clue that he was walking up behind me.

"Hey, Y/n, what's up?" Kyle asks, taking the seat next to me. "Not much, just... lunch." I need to shut the fuck up. "Cool," Kyle chuckles, pushing his curly bangs out of his eyes. "You coming to the basketball tonight? It's a big one and I was kinda hoping you could be my personal cheerleader," He grins. I could feel Red's amusement even while I wasn't facing her.

"I totally would, but I have volleyball tonight." I answer. Of course I have volleyball the night Kyle invites me to come watch his basketball. "Home game?" He asks, messing with his bangs once again. "Yeah, sorry, I really wish I could come." He shrugs, giving me a nod, glancing back at his friends.

"It's cool, don't worry about it. Next time, maybe," He mumbles, standing up. "See you in history?" I nod, giving him an apologetic smile. "Yeah, see you." I watch him walk back to his table, jumping as Red punches me in the shoulder.

"He was so bummed! "My personal cheerleader"? Are you serious? He wants you! That was so an invitation to have his little kosher children!" Red exclaims, shaking my arm. "Ew, what the hell? Have his kosher children? He just invited me to a basketball game, I bet he invited, like, eight other girls," I argue, pulling my arm away.

"Are you talking about Kyle?"

"Jesus Chirst," I huff, jumping at the sudden appearance of Stan. Whipping around, I see him leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. "He only invited you. He's been growing the balls to do it all day." Stan continues, staring into my soul. I give Red a look, my eyes going back to Stan.

"Ok... bye Stan," I say, waving in hopes he'd leave. He rolls his eyes, returning to his table. "Creep," Red mumbles, zipping up her lunchbox.

✮

Our match had just ended, our setter, Bebe, dragging out a cooler of gatorades. "Holy shit, Y/n, look to your left," Red laughs, nudging me. I turn and immediately see what she was telling me to look at. "Is that Kyle? Why is he here, did he skip his basketball game?" I say, completely shocked to see the redhead boy at my volleyball game.

He gives me a wave, his signature goofy grin taking over his previously straight face as he steps down from the bleachers. I meet him in the middle, giving him a confused look. "What are you doing here, I thought you had basketball?"

"I wanted to come cheer you on. I called in sick, Butters was gonna take my place." He answers, sending me into a swarm of thoughts. "You're fucked if your coach finds out you were at my stupid volleyball match." I scold, earning a playful eye roll from Kyle.

"It wasn't stupid. You were really good. Plus, I wanted to ask you something."

Hoooollllyyyy shit. If this was going where I thought it was going, I was going to pass away on the spot.

"I think you're gorgeous, and I was wondering if I could take you to get something to eat sometime. I really like you."

Woah.

"Yeah, that sounds fun. Text me?" "Definitely. See you tomorrow."

I was literally about to pass away. Walking back to my team, Red was readily prepared to shit on me about this.

"Told you so." "Shut up."

a/n: MEOOOWWWW

ruff ruff ruff im such a kahl gremlin (not proofread, i'll do it after my nap 😻) (its 3 am)

[mccormickgf]

✧ ⁺˳ .🎄࿐ kyumi’s christmas

-> welcome to my first ever kinkmas/fluffmas ! i wanted to do a mix of both smut and fluff, so there’ll be 5 of each. ALL DATES ARE TENTATIVE !!!!

-> during this, i won’t be writing any requests since this will be taking up most of my time. but feel free to send them in for me to write in january <3

mccormickgf 2024 © all rights reserved; please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost my writing.

── i saw mommy kissing santa claus ! ft. butters scotch

❆ every year, your husband, butters, dresses up as santa for your kids. however, a poorly timed glance out of their bedroom door leads to a bizarre yet hilarious twist on christmas eve. | fluff

❆ dec. 1

── let it snow ! ft. eric cartman

❆ a record-breaking blizzard hits south park, colorado, and you're stuck outside eric cartman’s house, who just happens to be your sworn enemy. what choice do you have but to knock on the door? | smut

❆ dec. 3

── santa baby ! ft. wendy testaburger

❆ you knew you never should’ve accepted a gift from eric cartman. but maybe it was the final push you and your roommate wendy needed to finally confess. | smut

❆ dec. 6

── winter wonderland ! ft. kyle broflovski

❆ every christmas, your family always brings up the topic of you having a boyfriend and "settling down." each year, you begrudgingly tell them you're still single. but this year will be different— and you need your best friend, kyle, to help you out. | fluff

❆ dec. 9

── baby, it’s cold outside ! ft. kenny mccormick

❆ delivering your last gift on christmas eve leads to you into your best friend’s dads bed. | smut

❆ dec. 11

── it’s beginning to look a lot like christmas ! ft. stan marsh

❆ every christmas, you and stan always compete to see who can give the best gift. but this year, it’s safe to say you won. | fluff

❆ dec. 13

── deck the halls ! ft. stan marsh & wendy testaburger

❆ messing around while christmas decorating with your partners, stan and wendy, leads to more than any of you expected. | smut

❆ dec. 15

── last christmas ! ft. craig tucker & tweek tweak

❆ christmas has been a sore subject for you for a few years now. maybe two annoying upstairs neighbours can help bring back your christmas spirit. | fluff

❆ dec. 18

── jingle bells ! ft. kenny mccormick

❆ hanging a bell on your choker was supposed to be a cute addition to your winter outfit. who knew your boyfriend would go feral? | smut

❆ dec. 21

── i’ll be home for christmas ! ft. craig tucker

❆ a blizzard delays all of the flights back to south park, but craig’s got you waiting for him. he’s determined to make it home. | fluff

❆ dec. 24

[reinerismwrld]

Lesson 1: Kissing

PAIRING: Kenny McCormick x f!Reader

SUMMARY: Never been kissed? No way. Lucky you, your best friend would love to do it.

GENRE: Fluff

WARNINGS: A little bit suggestive. Swearing. AGED UP CHARACTERS

WORD COUNT: 1.2k words

PART: 1 (series masterlist)

“So… you’re telling me that in all these years, you’ve never kissed anyone?” Kenny was baffled. Hell, he was shocked. He turned around on his chair, completely forgetting whatever he was doing on his computer.

You, on the other hand, didn’t understand why he was so shocked.

“Yeah, what about it?” you continued, looking at your phone screen before finally deciding to lock it and pay attention to your best friend. Kenny just stayed there, looking at you, his brain going insane at the confession. “What? Are you going to just stay there with that stupid look on your face?” you chuckled.

“‘I don’t believe you.” Kenny passed his hands through his face, trying to come up with something else to say. You sat down on his bed.

“Well, I’m telling you the truth. Never.”

“No way. You cannot be serious. Not even once?” Twenty-three years, and you’ve never been kissed?

“Mhm… well, maybe just a peck. But that was years ago…” Kenny sighed. And you covered your face with your hands. This was so embarrassing. You didn’t even remember how the hell this conversation started, but here you were, admitting to one of your most experienced friends you’ve never been kissed properly.

“Well, a peck is a peck.” 

“Yeah, right. That’s just lame, to be honest.” You looked at Kenny, and for the first time, you couldn’t really decipher his expression.

“So you, one of the prettiest girls I’ve known for my whole life, who's not only amazing but such a good friend, hasn’t kissed anyone? Bullshit, I thought we said we would never lie to each other.” your stomach made a flip after those words came out of his mouth. Yeah, even if Kenny has been your friend for so many years, you had to admit that he was handsome and to be honest, you were always a sucker for compliments.

“God, Kenny, why is it so hard to understand?” The more he said it, the more you started to regret the confession.

Kenny slowly stood up and made his way to his bed. He just stayed there in front of you. You looked up at him.

“Do you wanna try it?” you felt your heart in your throat.

“The fuck you’re talking about McCormick!” You stood up, feeling too overwhelmed by his proximity, and laughed it off, thinking he was just joking, as he always does. You started to walk to his bedroom door and at least escape whatever new reality you had just stepped into, and that’s when you felt Kenny’s hand on your wrist.

Kenny turned you around, making your whole body crash with his. You grabbed his shirt, not really sure if you wanted him to get away from you or if you needed him closer, but never locked eyes with him.

“Let me just give you your first kiss.” you started to bite your lip. This couldn’t be right, can it? What if this changed the friendship you’ve had with him for all these years? As your mind was trying to decide whether it was a good choice, you felt Kenny’s left hand on your cheek. You finally looked into his eyes and gulped. Fuck this. What’s the worst that could happen? You closed your eyes and only nodded. Kenny smiled.

You felt his lips ghost yours, and for a brief moment, you thought he was going to back down—until you felt him. He only gave you a small peck at first, and you were kind of disappointed. You shrugged, and Kenny couldn’t help but laugh.

“Easy, baby. I will give you what I promised.” you felt your blood rush into your cheeks at the nickname. Kenny grabbed you by the hand and made his way to his bed. He sat down and grabbed you by your hips so you could straddle him. You didn’t even sit properly when Kenny kissed you again, this time more feverishly. You opened your mouth, welcoming whatever he was about to do.

You felt Kenny’s hand grab your cheek once again and tried to kiss him back the same way he was doing it. And it was terrible. You felt your teeth clash against each other, and you were pretty sure it shouldn’t happen.

You pushed Kenny away from you.

“I suck.” you hid your face in his neck and Kenny smiled. Well, he did believe you, but now he has confirmed it, and any other suspicion of you actually having your first kiss has dissipated entirely from his mind.

“Hey, it’s okay. Look at me.” you stayed right there. You didn’t want to see him. You just wanted the earth to swallow you up to the center of the planet. Since you didn’t follow his instructions, Kenny moved so you could come out of your hiding spot. He grabbed you by the cheeks with only one of his hands, and your whole body jerked. He was a little bit rough, but by the reaction of your entire body, it appears that you liked it. He will keep that in mind.

“Do this.” He puckered his lips out so you could mirror his action. “Good girl, now, when you kiss me, you are going to pucker them out, ok? Try leaving them like that during the kiss.” you nodded.

He kissed you again, and you tried to leave your lips just as he instructed. It was better. You could feel his tongue brush against yours, and you felt a rush going through your whole body. As he moved his face to make the kiss last longer, you grabbed both of his arms. This was way better than what you thought. You just let Kenny guide you in the kiss. At one point, your tongues were dancing with each other, as if this was just so normal as if your mouths already knew what to do, as if you’d done this before. It felt natural. Of course, it wasn’t that perfect. You still felt your teeth clash, but not as much, and you always remember what he told you. He slowly pulled back and smiled.

“Better. You will improve. You just need more practice.” your mind was hazy. It was as if the kiss made you enter a trance that you didn’t want to come out of.

“You think?”

“Yes, and if you let me, I would love you to practice with me,” cheeky bastard. You forgot who you were with.

“And what do you get out of this, Ken?”

“Well, first, I would make sure that you get proper lessons from someone who at least knows what they’re doing.” 

“And you’re that person.” you laughed.

“And secondly, I can at least make sure that no one hurts you while practicing. I don’t want someone to hurt you,” you sighed. He may be right.

“But what about…” You didn’t know how to bring up the topic.

“Our friendship?” You nodded. You cannot lose him; he has always been that friend to you—always by your side, always up to whatever you wanted to do. “Don’t worry; we will always be the friends we’ve been—just with a little more perks, “ he assured you.

“Fine, but just friends with a little more perks.” For a reason, you didn’t want to say friends with benefits because that’s what basically meant. In your mind, saying what it is out loud would be a completely different thing. Like, he would only use you for that. And well, as for now, the only perk was kissing.

“I promise.” He showed you his pinky finger, and you closed the pact. Hey, it was just kissing, right? What could possibly go wrong?

n a v i g a t i o n

s p  m a s t e r l i s t

[he4rts4alexis]

Plane

Pairing: South Park x Fem reader

Warnings: profanity and smut

I was on my way to Greece on the plane, I was wearing airpods when a guy catches my eye. He stares at me with no shame. Licking his lips, seeming a bit turned on. I blush, looking away. But The Weeknd songs in my ears. Don't make it less resistible. I look at him again still seeing him looking at me. I grab my lipgloss, if he's looking at me like that. I can tease him a little. I grab my mini mirror looking at it while I apply my lipgloss. Plumping my lips together. He puts his under arm on his growing dick. Holding it down. While he doesn't break Eyecontact. I bring my thumb up to my lip wiping the excess off. While giving him the fuck me eyes. Because fuck me. He's hot. His tattoo's flexing as his arms are still at his dick.

He spreads his legs further adjusting in his plane seat. He pats his lap. Looking at me. I close my thighs together, not thinking he would notice. But his eyes move to my thighs clenching together. He smirks. He stands up and walks to the toilet, rolling his bottom lipbetween his teeth. Ohhh shittt, Im turned on I stand up. Walking to the toilet too. He pushes me inside and he locks the door. I look at him innocent like I didn't know why I followed him. "You were so teasing me huh?" Ohh nooo I was not. I bite my lip. His finger lifts to my lip pulling it from between my teeth. He lifts my jaw. His lips connecting to my neck. Biting and sucking my neck, moving to my collarbone. I moan, ohhh "you like that huh?" His breathing is heavy and his voice is low. Fucking sexy. He lifts my shirt, kissing my stomach, till the waistband of my panties.

He puts my skirt up, and my panties down, dropping to his knees. He stands at the same height as my core, looking at it, like it's his favorite meal. He licks my slit up and down, making me gasp. He dips his tongue inside of me, feeling me dripping from his tongue. I was fucking wet. "Your so wet for me little slut" he moves his fingers and brings to inside. I am not a slu- I moan. You are, my slut. Only mine. He moves his fingers in and out of me, while his tongue circled my clit over and over. Holy hell i am going to come already. He gets his tongue of me and he looks at me while his fingers ruin my pussy. "Good girl" he smirks. Ohhh he enjoys this seeing me begging for his tongue.

Because I sighed when he left my clit. His fingers move faster as I feel the orgasmbuilding. I trace the orgasm with my hips bulking them towards his fingers needing them so bad. Ohhh fuck. His tongue licks my clit again. He's holding me still at my thighs, his fingers leaving prints on them. From his grip. I come with a loud moan. But his hand is on my mouth keeping me shut. "Shhhh, nobody needs to hear your pretty sounds" he unbelts his pants and drops them. His fucking hard cock, face to face with me. He slides his boxer off.

His dick standing up straight the tip almost touching my nose. I lick his length, causing him to groan. I take his tip into my mouth trusting it deep into my throat. Feeling his veins at the walls of my mouth. "Fuckkkk" he moans. I grab the back of his thighs trusting him deeper. Trying to get him the much pleasure possible. I spit on his tip swirling my tongue around it. Then suck his whole length. He janks his dick out of my mouth, pushing my chest back till that I'm laying on the sink. He spreads my thighs. Letting his cock tease my entrance, his tip sliding a bit inside me. "Fucking hell" he wispers. He grabs my hips, sliding his dick further into me.

With a groan he starts to move in and out, soft slow strokes. He does not get his eyes of my pussy taking his dick whole. "You look so good taking my cock like this" he bends forward sucking my nipple. While one handis under my ass holding me up as his strokes are getting faster. My hands move to his back my nails grabbing the skin. Because of the pleasure he gives me. His tattoo covered hand is wrapping around my throat. His jaw clenched. When he starts to move faster and deeper. He hits my g spot over and over. What makes me arch my back. Oh my

He turns around with my still in his arms, as my back hits the wall. I close my legs around him wanting him to be even closer. He grabs my ass with to hands. And looks me in my eyes fucking the shit out of me. I feel sweat everywhere but I don't care because it feels so good. He grabs my shoulders trusting into me even deeper, I move my hand to my clit stimulating it, my legs shake and I don't know how much pleasure I can take. I feel the second orgasm build as my legs shake faster and I let my head fall back. Oh shiiit. He moves faster. Destroying my tight pussy. The sound of my wetness and his precum makes me turned on even more. My tits bouncing at each trust. He's fucking me mercyless. "Fuck Im going to-" he wimpers throwing his head back as he fucks me harder. He comes inside me feeling me up, "yes good. Take it all like the good girl you are huh"

We get off the plane and never see each other again

Craig T, Stan M, Kyle B, Kenny M, Eric C, Clyde D, Tweek T, Tolkien B and Butters S

[kwnnys]

— main 4 fasting for the first time!

hcs : g/n reader a/n : for my muslim brothers nd sisters 🙏🙏 reader is muslim and asks the boys to try fasting w them for ramadan :D

— stan marsh

quite intrigued when you first bring it up, also pretty hesitant to try it

"wait so like- no food or water? for a whole day? are you sure I wont die..."

but with a little bit convincing, stan will eventually agree!

he starts off strong and confident 💪 bragging to the group and telling them all about fasting

but that confidence slowly dies as the hours pass... and poor boy gets so tired

he knows you said that while fasting that you should be as productive as possible, but hes just so tired and drowsy he cant help it 😭

he tries to play basketball with his friends, or even doing his homework. but he just can't focus on anything

he ends up sleeping the rest of the day till iftar

he apologizes and feels so bad 😓, but you tell him its fine since its his first time

I dont' think he'd do it again the next day or anytime soon, but maybe give it a few years and he might be able to fast all 30 days :D

— kyle broflovski

like stan also very intrigued and curious

he'll ask you alot of questions and take a few notes, before ultimately agreeing

hes a little nervous at first, but you manage to ease him with some words of affirmation!

tries to just distract himself for the whole day. studying, chores, video games, etc.

he doesn't make a big deal about it, but is definitely suffering on the inside

tbh the hardest part for him isn't the actual fasting, but not being able to swear or be mad (especially considering kyle has a short temper) 💀

cartman definitley takes advantage of this and calls him every name in the book. also purposely eats infront of him.

"hey stupid jew. look what I've got, a chocolate cake. you want some? oh wait, YOU CANT!" "...I swear to god cartman."

almost broke his fast cause of him. 😭

but anyways, he manages to successfully finish his fast!

he would do it again, maybe in a few days if you asked.

— eric cartman

when you first tell him about fasting and ramadan, he'll literally be SO flabberghasted.

"wait wait wait, so you're telling me you can't EAT or even drink WATER for 30 days? you trying to get me killed or something?"

it'll take alot of convincing to get him to fast with you

alooot of convincing.

but when he eventually agrees, he will be SO dramatic about it and overexaggerates everything

"oh my god, I think Im dying. tell kyel.. I hope he gets cancer.."

refuses to go to school or even get out his room

liane gets very concerned about him, and'll constantly ask you if he'll be okay and won't die

you assure her that its completely fine, especially considering he ate almost half the fridge during suhoor.

he talks to his stuffed animals to try and cope.

tried to secretly eat a piece of candy while you weren't looking 💀you'll have to keep a close eye on him if you want him to actually finish his fast.

he'll definitely hold a grudge against you the whole day and refuse to talk to you.

but don't worry, you make it up to him by taking him to kfc for iftar 😋

bro literally ordered half the menu and gobbled everything up in a matter of minutes.

safe to say he won't be fasting again anytime soon. or ever again,

— kenny mccormick

the only one in the group who manages to fast with little to no problem

kenny doesn't usually eat much food anyway, so hes all down

the hardest part for him is not being able to have 'dirty' thoughts or look at porno magazines 💀

the guys probably don't even notice that kennys fasting since they know kenny usually eat till you or he brings it up

cartman also takes advantage of this and tries to get him to break his fast with money. (which fails cause you're there to shut him off)

doesn't really have a change in his routine or life, he just does what he normally does

you're surprised by how easy hes taking it tbh

when its time for iftar, you decide to invite him over your house to eat :D

hes shocked at all the food you had prepared by you and your parents, and extremely grateful too

that day he had the biggest meal for the first time in probably a few years 😭

definitely took home some leftovers after for his family.

overall he'd definitely wouldn't mind doing it again! especially if it means being able to go to your house to eat again.

[southparkxreader]

title : the assisant . pairings:  post covid !  kenny mccormick x reader | timeline b. trigger warnings : age gaps . reader is in her middle twenties , everyone else is forty nine . specific uses of she/her pronouns ,  uses of y/n + l/n . writers note : i’m really, really nervous about this, i feel like this is a little rough but i just want to get kenny & y/n’s dynamic written so it opens more possibilities. i promise you, this is going to get better - 😭 feed back is always encouraged !

"good morning, mr mccormick" you said breathlessly, clumsily putting down his usual breakfast order on the desk - you take a little too much pride in how you didn't spill a single drop of coffee as the carboard crashes roughly onto the surface.

"good morning, miss l/n" kenny mirrors back, a tug pulling at his lips as he stops paying attention to his ipad, opting to watching you closely as you attempted to make the items organized, they were always placed down the same way. sandwich on the left in the centre, the coffee slightly above it on the right. he doesn't miss the way your tongue rolls over your lips as it had your full concertation, in fact it's all he can focus on, only drawn away when you start paying attention to him once bearings were gathered.

when you finally look up, your eyes meet, regret thrums inside your chest. heated cheeks from jogging across the building only became worse as embarrassment crashes through your veins at the very obvious amused glint in your boss' eyes - the grin on his lips that clearly indicates that he's laughing at you rather than with you.

"you're late."

as if you don't already know that from the state of you, your bottom lip jutted out a little at the comment, it’s that look exactly which makes kenny to tease you as often as he does " i know, sir, i'm really sorry " you straighten yourself up as best you can, fingers curling in the fabric of your blazer and tugging the front down, ridding it of creases that were only obvious to you "first there was a personal emergency that needed to get seen to, then traffic piled up on the main road - "

"hey hey, take it easy - " he soothes, though the laugh can’t be helped, placing his ipad down on the desk as he walked around it, he sits on the very edge of the desk as you remained stood there, frazzled and distracted despite doing your best to bring your attention back into the room " we've talked about this, more than once, we're laid back here - "

" i -  "

"not finished" he raised his index finger to his lips, the moment it did your lips knitted shut, obediently stopping your response as you let him continue - " a couple of bad mornings are bound to happen, life'll get in the way and make leaving the house unbearable, believe me, i get that - it's about not making habits out of them, to push through as much as you can to not allow these moments impose on your work. " your once tense shoulders slump forward with each word he spoke  - a defeated stance taking over, lips pressing together as you swallow around the anxiety.

"... okay?" there’s a certain delicately around the answer - wanting to know that you heard him while also making you aware he can see the sudden mood shift.

"yeah, i - thank you, sir, i'm sorry. i just really need - correction, i want this job, i enjoy working here, for you - for once i'm looking a boss in the face and meaning it, do you know how revolutionary that is ? " he chuckles at that, though allows you to continue as he sees your eyebrows stitching together in thought, " i suppose i'm just ... worried about jeopardizing my position here."

"you couldn't, you’re doing amazing work here, you helped me remember what date it is today - “ corner of lips twitch at that, “you’d only get fired if it was something ... really bad, like you royally screwed up, i'm talking completely cause this company and my work to collapse - "

"thank you, sir ... i think ?"

"no i mean you making a catastrophic mistake, like leaking my work to the enemy - "

the enemy ?  what is he -

" uh, sir ?"

"you really don't give me the impression of doing something like that, though - but i suppose looks can be deceiving - "

oh, that's what he's doing. you're no stranger to this, but it still always manages to confuse you when this happens... whatever this is, exactly. kenny had the tendency to go on and on, internal thoughts meeting the surface for all to hear - the first time he did it you had never been so confused in your life, it took one of his colleagues pulling your aside to explain that this is simply... kenny.

"sir."

"i knew that face was yours was hiding something devious - " little do you know, this tangent is a lot more intentional than his others - this is based solely on the ground to make you feel lighter again, to feel comfortable. to rid the worry from your forehead and make that smile break out across your face, the one he loves so much - you didn't deserve to feel so sad,  to look it, he certainly never wanted to be the cause of it.

"mr mccormick, please" you tried to sound firm, but instead it came out in a tumble of giggles as your face broke out in a smile at his shenanigans.

"there it is" he murmurs ; more to himself than you, referring to the way your face lights up as the smile breaks out across your face, the way your eyes crinkle at the corners when showing an emotion as pure as joy "did you manage to eat this morning?" you shake your head, his foot drags forward the chair in front of you both that's tucked under the desk ; "sit" you can't help but follow,  sitting down on the comfortable chair as your eyes peered up at him, watching every move he does. your eyes land on the way he reaches for the breakfast sandwich that he always orders.

"have this - "

"oh, no, sir, that's your regular - "

he stares at you for a moment, blinking a few times " ... so?"

"it's... your food" he can’t help the way his eyes rolled, what you fail to detect is the fondness that lingered behind the action - picking up the neatly folded order and peeling the foil away. “the last thing we need, miss l/n is you passing out on the job. you can’t organize my life for me when in the hospital - “  he pauses for a moment, still as a statue "actually, you probably could - but let's not test out that theory - " the slice that was on top is picked up, kenny doing the honours of wrapping a piece of tissue at the bottom so nothing fails out unexpectedly. you know it's a losing battle, once kenny puts his mind to an idea, there's no pulling him away from it. so you reach out, delicately taking the half he offered you and took a bite out of the corner, the moment the taste explodes on tongue, you realized how hungry you were. "better ?" "mmm ..." you hum around another bite "hmhmm -"  instead of a chuckle, a laugh rumbles through his chest as your reaction, clearly proving he made the right choice in the slight peer pressure he put you under. taking the moment to pluck the other half of the sandwhich and takes a large bite of his own. "once we're done with breakfast, we can talk about the day ahead. right now, you need to take this moment to relax, go for a smoke or something - " "oh, thomas undergrove is expecting a - " "what did i just ?" he scorns playfully, picking up a piece of extra tissue and throwing it in your direction. "i'm sorry, sorry - right, later - "

“atta girl” he praises “here, take my  coffee. i can grab one from the breakroom - no, don’t argue with me, you know win.  ”

[corporatefrog]

╭₊˚ ๑︰A Bit Tied Up ๑ ꒱

✧.* featuring: stan calling yn to help get human kite out of a sticky situation after a run in with professor chaos

✧.* tags: college au, comedy, superhero au

✧.* Characters: kyle broflovski, stan marsh

masterlist

“Dude, you have to just grab my hand.” 

“I’m trying- bleugh- fuck!” 

“You’re obviously not or else you’d be out of the tree by now.”

When Stan told me Kyle had gotten stuck in a tree during one of their ‘epic battles’ against Professor Chaos, I pictured the situation in my head. A human kite can only get stuck in a tree in so many ways after all. But the sight I was greeted with when I pulled up to PC Park was so much funnier. 

He’d somehow gotten the string of the kite wrapped around his left arm and leg, trapping them against the branches. A small branch sat against his face and wacked his face with leaves whenever he moved his head. (Which worked perfectly because Kyle always had to have the last word resulting in a leave shaped mark on the side of his face) Another branch pierced his kite, leaving him as stuck in the tree as humanly possible. 

The first ten minutes of my trip were, understandably, spent laughing at the predicament Kyle had gotten himself into. I mean, I did tell them to not do their superhero shit in the park. Especially after last time when Clyde had run into a family barbeque and had gotten blasted by bug spray. But no. I’m the crazy one! How could I possibly suggest that staying out of the park with an odd amount of park related superheroes would be a better idea? 

So I spent the next 10 minutes after the first 10 laughing at Kyle some more. Then Stan and I began to try and pull him out of the tree. However, we underestimated the difficulty of dragging a 6’2 stubborn redhead out of a tree while said redhead throws a fit.

Kyle’s arms went limp, swinging loosely as he breathed heavily from the exertion. 

“This is ridiculous.” He weakly tugged his left arm against the string but it didn’t budge. The movement shook the branch, sending the small branch flying into his face for the hundredth time that day. Kyle cursed and swiped at the branch. 

I smirked up at him, biting back another wave of laughter, “Glad to see you still have your stunning analytical abilities.” 

Kyle shot me a sour look. He wasn’t amused with the first 20 minutes of laughter and I had a feeling 30 minutes would be pushing it.

Beside me, Stan had backed up to take stock of the current situation. He was still in his Toolshed outfit, utility belt hanging around his waist with various power tools ready to be used against the various forces of evil which plagued South Park. Like the devious Professor Chaos that led them to this conundrum. 

Yeah if ‘devious’ means a silly little guy who’s counting down the days to the Barbie movie. Then he’s the most devious motherfucker I know. 

“I’m just saying-” I started. 

“Yeah, like you’ve been saying this whole time.” Kyle snapped, cursing again as the branch returned for another smack. You think he’d learn to just stop talking or break the branch but I wasn’t going to be the one to tell him that.

I continued, not acknowledging his remark, “This situation could’ve been entirely avoided if you didn’t take this chase through the park like I told you.” Stan groaned behind me, talking while he paced around the tree in search of an easy way to release his friend.

“And like I told you, Chaos had the deed to Kenny’s house and he was going to destroy it! We had to follow him!” Stan pulled out a circle saw and held it up to the trunk of the tree, moving it back and forth to test the small saw against the large tree. 

“And what good are you doing standing here with fucknuts stuck in the tree?” I asked, pointing up at Kyle who was growing more pissed off with each passing minute that he was stuck in the tree. 

“HEY! Don’t call me fucknuts, dickwipe!” He snapped, the branch sound now consistently following all of his quips.

Crack. 

We all went silent at the sound of the crack. Stan and I looked up, catching a glimpse of Kyle’s own shocked face before the branch holding his arm and leg captive let out another cracking noise. The branch dipped, shaking Kyle and ripping through the top of his kite. Without his back being held up, Kyle’s right side pulled towards the ground as all his weight pulled on the slowly splintering branch. 

Kyle’s eyes met my own in the split second before catastrophe. 

“Oh fuck.” He said before the branch broke, sending him plummeting to the ground. 

Kyle collided with the ground in a pile of plastic canvas looking like a kite that was sent through a garbage disposal. He groaned, pulling his now free arm and leg away from the branch before flopping back onto the ground with a weak sigh. 

A moment of silence out of respect. One…two…three…

Okay. Now we laugh. Kyle was not amused with my behavior for the next 40 minutes. I, on the other hand, found everything about the situation utterly hilarious.