#bebe stevens headcanons

[sunny-ssunset]

Pretty in Pink!

South park x girly popular reader

divider by pinterest

Chapter 3

Masterlist!

♡The chapter no one asked for 😍✌️ Lmao sorry Im writing another bc i love it, sorry for not posting much i have been so busy 😭 tbh Y/n reminds me of the queen of hearts AGED UP!

"Kenny you have such pretty eyes!!" Y/n cooed, brushing his hair out of his face. "I know, I could be a model" He joked, giving in to the affection. Wendy watched the scene play out, Jealous of all the attention she gets. Poor Y/n must hate all the attention, she'd need someone to take her place one day, Someone who can handle the pressure of being perfect.... Someone like Wendy. I mean it would take a while for Wendy to get to Y/n's standards, plus Y/n might not want to be replaced just yet. Even if its for the best to protect precious Y/n.

"Wendy? Hun you okay? You have been so quiet today-" "Stan wants to break up." Wendy interupted, Y/n looking taken a back. "Oh girl, I'm so sorry, He's a douche, We dont need him right? How about a girls night? No silly party or anything, just us?" Y/n cooed, Wendy taking notice on how she said 'We' like it was also her problem, how considerate of her. "Yayyy Can i come?" Kenny grinned playing with a strand of Y/n's hair. "NO!" Bebe choked, suddenly clinging on to Y/n's arm, "Ahem- No, its a girls night"Bebe corrected herself as Y/n smiled, looking at Kenny.

"Wendy? Wendy please I really need to talk to you" Stan appeared, Literally scaring the shit out of everyone. Y/n frowned, "Stan she doesn't want to talk to you right no-" Stan looking a bit shocked by Y/n's reaction, Wendy interupting her, "Y/n I think I need to sort this out now." She smiled apologeticly at Y/n, before leaving with Stan.

"I always try help that girl and it gets me nowhere. Ugh im just so sick of doing everything for everyone. You know how much I do for people Kenny, And all i get is an awkward smile now and again." Y/n pouts laying into him, "Y/n If you were mine I'd treat you well" Kenny flirts, brushing her hair out of her face, as Bebe fake gags "Eww guys get a room!!!!" Bebe whines stomping her feet. "Bebe you are so cute, guys come on lets go to class" Y/n laughs as she gets up from Kenny's warm embrace, the others following on behind her.

"KYLE!!!! I HAVENT SEEN YOU IN AGES OH MY GODDD" Y/n beams, running up to sit by Kyle, "You saw me yesterday." He shifts away from her, voice laced with a slight anger. Y/n frowns "Kyle baby!!! Are you okay whats the matter??" She clings onto his arm "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST Y/N LEAVE ME ALONE!" Kyle shouts at her, banging his fists on the table and moving to sit futher away from Y/n, Her eyes pounding with anger, How dare he? Who the fuck does he think he is. Someone has to teach him a lesson, Nobody treats Y/n like that absolutely no one-

"Hey guys I'm back" Wendy chirps, seeming to be in a better mood, Stan standing at the doorway sending Y/n a sweet smile and a 'can we pleaseeee talk' look. Her giving a fowl one back. "Wendy I missed you!!! Come sit by meeee" "Hey wait i wanna sit buy you" "No i do!!!!" Complaints from both Kenny and Bebe were heard, "Guys Wendys just been through a breakup, let her sit by me!" Y/n smirked, as if sitting with her were a reward. They both accepted and sat down behind Y/n, "Anything happen while I were gone?" Wendy smiled, Y/n, Kenny and Bebe shot glares at Wendy, her not knowing what she did wrong, Bebe and Kenny a bit too scared to mention what happened before with Kyle, Wendy taking the hint by their scared looks.

"Nothing happened Wendy." Said Y/n, a blank tone and expression on her face, That quickly changing while she spoke again, "Enough of that, boring stuff. What happened with you!!" Y/n beamed, leaning into Wendy more, "Well, Me and Stan have decided to be friends, I think we both have our eye on someone else at the minute!" Wendy smiled, now she was finally able to have Y/n to herself. No fighting with her boyfriend over her anymore!

"Yayyyy girls night!!!!" Bebe cheered, "No actually I'm thinking we throw a party, show everyone your available plus Kenny can come then!!" Y/n chirped, Bebe looking a bit disappointed. I mean little did Wendy know it would take alot more than breaking up with Stan for her to have Y/n, Bebe also had her eye on her, What does Wendy expect Y/n Is Perfect.

divider by @k1ssyoursister

[alaskan-wallflower]

Could maybe do headcanons on Wendy and Michael(the goth kid) being cousins and Bebe being a boss at paintball?

i can try!!! also i agree, i love lemmy koopa haha

Wendy and Michael being cousins and Bebe being amazing at paintball includes…

Wendy and Michael being cousins

They’re probably like…step cousins I think

The only times they actually hang out is during family gatherings

tbh i feel like they don’t get along well

he probably told her that stan was a part of their emo group for a bit after they broke up

he probably keeps trying to get wendy to go goth

she probably dressed goth one time and stan nearly had a heart attack

they probably talk sometimes

they go to the same school and wendy probably just ignores him

but during family gatherings she’ll go through his socials and try to talk him out of posting emo quotes for no reason

overall they’re pretty tight

i can’t think of much for this i’m sorry :((

Bebe Stevens paintball headcanons

She’s really good with guns

I kinda headcanon she has an older brother?? He was maybe in college while the show took place

And he probably taught her how to shoot and such

She has a pistol

But she’s really great at paintball

So she probably invites most of the kids in the class to go paintballing with her

Cartman just came along because he found out the rest of the boys were going

so he probably thought ‘hey because bebe is a girl i can kick her ass’

He was out first

She dominated the paintball arena for sure

It probably came down to her and butters lmao

Butters was scared shitless and Bebe eventually won

Nobody fucks with her after that one

[s0uth3park]

Random SP headcanons pt2

Pt 1

Tweek tried to, but ultimately will never, learn how to drive with heavy advice from his loved ones (Craig). It’s too stressful. It’s dangerous because of his anxiety and tics for others and himself. No driving for Tweek. Please.

Cartman doesn’t make fun of Craig for being “half ginger” because he’s a little scared of him… kind of.

Speaking of, Cartman showed Craig his own wiener (as per TxC) of his own volition.

Fat fucking crush on Kyle btw.

If Stan hates that he looks like his dad then he hates that Kyle looks like his mom btw. Because… alcoholic x radical canadaphobe?? Fuck knows.

Stan shakes on weed (no projection here). He can’t feel it though.

Speaking of, Tweek can’t feel his own shaking.

Cartman wishes that Kenny would act how he would / seeks Kenny’s validation, hence his criticism of Kenny of the most menial of things (ie. holding a candle in Put It Down).

If there was money for it, Karen would own a lot of stuffed animals.

Kevin and Karen do not carry the gene for red hair. Or blond/blonde hair.

Cartman loves his fucking grandma. (No projection I swear)

Jimbo holds some affection for Liane but is just a gay old fuck. Jimned 4eva

Did I mention in my last post I think, despite Mrs Valmer’s canon design, that Mrs Tweak has the biggest tits? I’m saying it again if so

SHE AND RICHARD SCREW SO BAD I KNOW I SAID BUT PLEASE UNDERSTAND–

I know I said last post that I didn’t know how Tweek and Butters would be cousins but now I’ve decided… people can think differently because anything goes but for me it’s through both fathers. Tweak Bros. originates from Mrs. Tweak’s father and to earn the right to marry her he had to win him over and show his dedication to the profession

Richard and Stephen got grounded a LOT

Linda and Sheila’s hair always smells incredible (so much product)

Sheila is the type of grandma to give out stale sweeties

The Marsh name ends with Stanley. The bloodline ends with both him and Shelley

Heidi is the mother of Kyle’s kids (coping)

Cartman only became homeless after his mother died

He never worked ever (garageman future aside)

Clyde got vaccinated guys we can all rest now (the bad future self came back to tell him to never do it but once the good future is put into play he gets vaccinated because there was no bad future to come back to tell him)

Clyde is very girldad coded, soz

Bebe’s dad is a bit younger than her mom (he is the ultimate girldad… Mr. Stevens I wish I knew your name)

Clyde gets more insecure about his weight / appearance as he gets older. For now he is young however so let him live (his pudge is the pudge ever and he is sonboy if not a carnal dream and a half… latter only in pcov ofc)

Mr. Stevens helps Bebe with her homework a fuckton (particularly maths)

Butters bites his nails

Butters (after growing up) loves strong women. Look at his Pcov design and tell me he doesn’t want / have / respect a buff wife.

If Butters wasn’t grounded as much as a kid he wouldn’t have a fear of expectations as much as he does, meaning he would have probably gotten a better job than working in Dennybees or whatever it was called. Bro could have been a multi billionaire girlboss

I just want someone to hear this it’s not really a headcanon but BHLK Queen Thistle? LINDA STOTCH? Same character different nationalities istg

Kyle plays chaperone a fair bit to the guys

Kyle, Tolkien and Craig are the most sensible drivers out of All The Boys (Tolkien behind Craig and Kyle if I’m being honest)

Kenny and Bebe (Bebe isn’t a boy but YKWIM) are the fucking fastest / most reckless

Clyde and Stan are sort of not great but not bad drivers

Jimmy is rather close to Tolkien in terms of driving skill yk

Butters, Cartman, Tweek don’t drive – Cartman out of laziness / expectation of chaperones, and Butters and Tweek out of stress… Tweek tried to learn though

Craig in later years drives Tweek everywhere

Tweek and Cartman have experienced heart attacks (in later years) but for different reasons to the other. Clyde has come very close. So has Craig, though not as close.

Tweek dies before Craig.

Stan dies before Kyle.

Butters dies before Kenny (ironically).

Craig visits Tweek’s grave with flowers every week??

Craig, as an old man, wears a lot of fucking cardigans. Grandpa shirts too (the things without the collars).

Tweek and Craig have matching anythings. Typically slippers.

Bebe is very handsy and sometimes possessive. Clyde thinks it’s “sweet”. (The dudebro sweet not the romantic sweet through the possessiveness originates from romanticism).

In Pcov Clyde is a delivery man, actually

Out of all the couples, it would always be Clybe to cause the most hickeys

Bebe has a flatter ass than brilliant boobs (opposite for Wendy, though Wendy isn’t flat chested)

Nichole bleaches her skin in the future (it’s sad but look at her design. Out of everything else it’s the most unrecognisable and it’s awful) (ETA: when I say awful I’m talking about why most people bleach their skin and how it can affect one’s health – people can do as they please but ultimately skin bleaching isn’t a… great??? thing, socially and health-wise)

Nichole loves 60s/70s paraphernalia and fashion (the ultimate flower power child)

Wendy and Cartman fuck at least once in their lifetimes. They take it to the grave, but because of this Cartman doesn’t die a fucking virgin

That sounds so damn harsh wth but it’s true (I think Cartman doesn’t really have any labels moreso is just attached to certain people when it’s not just himself *cough cough* Kyle and Wendy *cough cough*)

Jimmy can see perfectly fine out of both eyes until he reaches teenhood

Jimmy has two brown haired alleles

Cartman doesn’t make fun of Kenny or Craig for having a ginger / red haired parent because he thinks they’re pretty cool. He lowkey ships them / wants to be them.

Cartman has the gene for ginger hair.

[nwjn-z]

𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐠𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 !

warning(s): none

author’s note: i saw someone do this with anime characters and i thought it would be fun to do it with the boys !! (i dont remember the person tho😓)

kyle broflovski .

a redbull and nerds clusters

okay, kyle drinks redbulls bc they give him energy and he has a hard time sleeping so he always needs them but he has a hard time sleeping bc he drinks redbulls.

Ike’s favourite candy are nerds clusters so Kyle’s just used to getting them for him but he tried them recently and started getting some for himself.

stan marsh .

a pack of beer and m&m’s

do i even need to say it? ofc he gets some type of alcoholic drink but he isn’t very picky unless it’s like those fruity seltzers, he hates those. usually gets a case of beer and maybe 1 or 2 of those buzzballz.

he also really likes m&m’s. both him and shelly’s favourite candy are m&m’s and they will fight for them (shelly wins every time). Sharon used to have to separate the m&m’s into two containers and label them with their names on them bc they do not share.

kenny mccormick .

an arizona and takis

kenny likes to get the mango flavour arizona, he’s just a mango flavour kind of guy. the guys also all pitch in 2 dollars to give to kenny so he’ll drink a mixture of all the slushie flavours.

also it’s cannon that he eats takis so obvi he would get them. he also only gets the original flavour ones he just doesn’t like the other ones. he won’t even eat the blue takis even though they’re the same 😭

eric cartman .

a diet mt.dew , xL cheesy poofs , and a reece’s

it’s canon that he drinks mt.dew and he drinks it pretty often but I also think sometimes he gets a dr.pepper slushie.

i put xL cheesy poofs bc im thinking of those big bags of cheese puffs. i can imagine him getting one of those big ass bags and not sharing with anyone 😒. he also gets a reece’s and proceeds to rant about ppl with peanut allergies.

BONUS:

-i think craig and clyde would get gatorades together everyday in elementary and just never stopped. craig gets the blue one and clyde gets the red one.

-wendy gets sweetarts ropes and bebe gets watermelon sourpatches.

-butters likes to get a blue raspberry slushie and funyuns.

[hunnysnoops]

South Park Music HCs

What music I think the South Park characters would listen to.

Stan ✰ Kyle ✰ Kenny ✰ Cartman ✰ Wendy ✰ Bebe ✰ Heidi ✰ Tweek ✰ Craig ✰ Butters

With Spotify links!

Stan Marsh

Artists:

Radio Head

Siouxsie and the Banshees

Crywank

She Wants Revenge

System Of a Down

Slipknot

The Front Bottoms

Favourite Songs:

Atoma- Dark Tranquillity

Smokey Eyes- Lincoln

F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X- The Fall of Troy

Mr Grieves- Pixies

Misc:

Generally angsty

Gets embarrassed of his taste when he’s put on aux

He probably likes 90s dad rock

Whenever Stan listens to ‘System of a Down’ Cartman calls him ‘Syndrome of a Down’

Likes The Front Bottoms purely because he relates

Kyle Broflovski

Artists:

Dan Mangan

The Cure

Echo & the Bunnyman

Blur

Weezer

Billy Idol

Favourite Songs:

I Love You- Fontaines D.C.

Troubled Mind- Dan Mangan

The Killing Moon- Echo & the Bunnymen

Jumping Someone Else’s Train- The Cure

Candy- Paolo Nutini

Misc:

Cartman calls him a virgin for listening to Weezer

If he’s playing his music around you, he’ll sneak glances at you to see if you like it

Definitely has a poster for The Cure in his bedroom

Refuses to use Bluetooth headphones

Kenny McCormick

Artists:

Eminem

Outkast

Ini Kamoze

Car Seat Headrest

Cypress Hill

Limp Bizkit

Green Day

Favourite Songs:

Hits from the Bong- Cypress Hill

Sexy Drug- Falling in Reverse

Deadlines (Hostile)- Car Seat Headrest

Take A Look Around- Limp Bizkit

Misc:

Watches clips of Woodstock 99 on YouTube

Plays his music so loud that it spills through his headphones and gets weird looks for it

Listens to Taylor Swift and Sabrina Carpenter with his little sister

Eric Cartman

Kanye West

T-Pain

Lady Gaga (we all saw this coming)

Rihanna

Black Eyed Peas

Oliver Tree

Pitbull

Favourite Songs:

Church- T-Pain, Teddy Verseti

Meet Me Halfway- Black Eyed Peas

I Can’t Stop- Will Smith

Bury Me Alive- Oliver Tree

Happiness is a Butterfly- Lana Del Rey

Misc:

Strikes me as the type of guy who doesn’t really listen to music

Unironically likes Oliver Tree (His music and him as a person)

Rips on everyone for their music but won’t tell them who he listens to

Lip syncs to Wiz Khalifa while flexing in the mirror

Listens to T-Pain and Will Smith to make him feel tough

Prefers podcasts

Wendy Testaburger

Artists:

The Shins

Gwen Stefani

Hozier

Grizzly Bear

Nelly Furtado

Olivia Rodrigo

Elliot Smith

Favourite Songs:

Swan Upon Leda- Hozier

Lacy- Olivia Rodrigo

Stand By Me- Ben E.King

Vienna- Billy Joel

Pocketful of Sunshine- Natasha Bedingfield

Misc:

Thunder makes her think of stan so she skips it

Relates to Vienna and probably got a small tattoo for it after she graduated

Probably has an eclectic taste and loves 2010s pop

Lets everyone else play their music while she’s driving and never complains

Stares at her ceiling and listens to Elliot Smith when she’s sad

Gets ready listening to y2k pop songs

Bebe Stevens

Artists:

Jungle

Wild Belle

Dominic Fike

Kesha

Avril Lavigne

Justin Bieber (baby era)

MGMT

Favourite Songs:

Feet Don’t Fail Me Now- Joy Crookes

Back On 74- Jungle

Memory Box- Peter Cat Recording Co.

Keep You- Wild Belle

Beauty And A Beat- Justin Bieber, Nicki Minaj

Ur So Gay- Katy Perry

Misc:

Hates sad music, she’ll force herself to listen to USHER during a breakdown

Picky about her music, if someone plays a song she doesn’t like she’ll definitely skip it or complain until someone else does

Mentioned she liked Justin Bieber and then got in an argument with Cartman because of it

Never lets Clyde near the speaker

Screams Ur So Gay at the top of her lungs when it comes on

Heidi Turner

Artists:

Jack Johnson

Syd Matters

Daughter

Fleet Foxes

Rainbow Kitten Surprise

Noah Kahan

Of Monsters and Men

Favourite Songs:

Open Season- High Highs

To All of You- Syd Matters

Two Weeks- Grizzly Bear

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing- Jack Johnson

Sisyphus- Andrew Bird

Blue Ridge Mountains- Fleet Foxes

Misc:

Loves going for walks while she listens to music

Sends you songs that remind her of you

Listens to every song you send her and tells you what she likes about it

Hums when she has her headphones in without realising

Her and all of her friends love Noah Kahan

Tweek Tweak

Artists:

Billie Holiday

Billie Marten

Johann Sebastian Bach

Claude Debussy

Ludwig van Beethoven

Foals

Connie Francis

Favourite Songs:

Who’s Sorry Now- Connie Francis

Cello Suite No. 1 in G Minor- Johann Sebastian Bach

Méditation from Thaïs- Jules Massenet

Bad Apple- Billie Marten

The Lark Ascending- Ralph Vaughan Williams

Misc:

I actually think he would hater Hyper-Pop

Prefers slow/classical/instrumental songs

Listens to a lot of white noise, really specific ones like ‘Heavy Rain in Autumn Fairy Forest 9 hours’

Musical prodigy, plays piano and cello

Craig Tucker

Artists:

Nirvana

Hole

No Doubt

Foo Fighters

Pulp

Arcade Fire

Jeff Buckley

Favourite Songs:

Common People- Pulp

Malmo- Mook

Forget Her- Jeff Buckley

The Pretender-Foo Fighters

Dumb- Nirvana

Misc:

Made one playlist in eighth grade and never listens to anything else

Thinks Courtney Love killed Kurt Cobain

Hates TikTok music, like genuinely.

Somewhat of a gatekeeper

Butters Stotch

Artists:

She & Him

Blonde

Kate Bush

Dolly Parton

Regina Spector

The La’s

The Mama’s and the Papa’s

Favourite Songs:

You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine- Lou Rawls

In the Summertime- Mungo Jerry

Hey, Lucky Lady- Dolly Parton

The Tide is High- Blondie

Why Do You Let Me Stay Here- She & Him

Don’t Let The Good Life Pass You By- Cass Elliot

Clay Pigeons- Michael Cera

Misc:

Songs absentmindedly all the time, annoys the hell out of everyone

Quotes the songs he listens to

Developed choreography in middle school and still remembers it

Asks people if they’ve heard a super popular song that’s all over the radio and social media out of genuine curiosity

Anyways, that’s all I got for now. Re log or comment what you think they’d listen to bc I’m genuinely curious, thanks for reading!

Also it literally took hours to add all of those Spotify links so I hope you got something out of this! they wouldn’t let me add more than 100 :/

[alovember]

Bro I have a question for you, what is your favorite South Park headcanon?

Ok ik you said my favorite but I got carried away and typed out a bunch so here’s a list of some lighthearted sp headcanons I have

Kenny and Kyle game the most together and get really competitive about who’s won more games (aka Kenny is really good and Kyle likes winning)

Stan cannot stand red wine, he will drink hard liquor straight, but tried wine once bcs his mom buys it and swore it off

as a teenager Cartman learns he can open credit cards in his name and he ends up opening 6-7 accounts and we all know this doesn’t end well but somehow incredibly doesn’t tank his score

Wendy is president of debate club, Kyle and Cartman are banned from debate club after one meeting

Butters falls for phone scams and Kenny helps him get his money back

Tolkien and Stan will ride bikes around their farms when they get mind numbingly bored and see who can go the fastest down the country roads

Butters and Tweek like arts and crafts the most out of the boys and will hang out to do them, Kenny joins sometimes and Craig if he can put Red Racer on in the background

Craig and Tweek get noise cancelling headphones and benefit greatly, tho they often accidentally jump scare each other a lot

Stan likes volunteering at animal shelters and drags Kyle along, much later in Highschool Stan ends up working part time there

Bebe and Wendy are menaces together and love pranking people, specifically people they have beef with in the moment

Kyle is the first to get his license, and often picks up Stan from his farm house to get away from family/his dad

The main four are always split up if they’re in the same classroom as they get older, every teacher learns the hard way

[fennecfiree]

Hc dump from my notesapp

Stan listens to slipknot

Butters is half canadian

Jimmy likes sonic

Kyle is a really picky eater

Cartman is autistic and has ocd

Mr garrison has ocd, autism and DID

Stan plays animal jam with Wendy

Kyle plays club penguin

Craig paints his nails black and sometimes paints Tweeks nails

Kyle sleeps with a orca whale plushie

Clyde has dyslexia

Tweek has fucked up teeth from meth, acne, skin sores, and he's really skinny.

Wendy has 2 cats (1 white cat named sparkles 1 orange cat named cheesecake)

Bebe unironically uses those glasses nerdy Snapchat filters

Stan works at McDonald's in his late teens and gives Kyle free food

Sheila has a Facebook and shares every single moment of ther life on it, she used to post pictures of Kyle when he was a baby and ike

Cartmans actually pretty good at drawing. Kyle sucks at art tho and gets embarrassed whenever Cartman sees his art cuz Cartman makes fun of him like crazy for it

Butters favorite animal is bunnys

Nichole and Kyle still hang out. Nichole doesn't really have a crush on Kyle anymore but Kyle still kinda likes her

Kyle is scared of dogs, especially big dogs

Wendy wants to be a docter

Kenny gets really cold easily since he's malorished

Kyle is lactose intolerant

Mr garrison has a calico cat named tom

Kyle is oblivous to any and all romantic interest someone may show him

Stan forgets to eat a lot

Kennys favorite season is summer

Bebe does kyles hair sometimes

Stan gets car sick really easily

Stan is the oldest in the group, cartmans the 2nd oldest, kyles the 3rd, and Kenny's the 4th

Shelly has a Tumblr and looks at yaoi and yuri

[skepticdoe]

my blog is dying 😭

[jewbeloved]

🍬 Halloween in South Park 🎃

Warning: Uh none?

Gender: Neutral

Note: Happy Halloween everyone! Here's a scenario of you celebrating Halloween with everyone you care about. 🧡🧡🎃🎃

Celebrating Halloween is like celebrating any other holiday. But here in south park. Chao, weirdness, and maybe even funny things happen here and Halloween in south park is bound to have weird shit going on.

Everyone has on their costumes and whatnot. Everyone is going around trick or treating for candy, handing out candy or just simply staying indoors.

You were one of the trick or treaters. You always go hunt for candy with your friends. The main four guys, and the rest of your classmates. You were in your room getting dressed in (Your Halloween costume) that you didn't even hear the door bell ringing.

You realize that the boys were here. You ran out of your room and opened the door to see them in their Halloween costumes.

"Hey guys! Nice costumes you got there!".

"Thanks (Name)! We love your costume as well!".

"Okay, now can we go trick or treating before all the losers get the best candies?!". You giggled at Cartman's impatience.

"Alright alright, Let's go trick or treating!". Before you and the boys left, you were also greeted by Craig and the others. After them was Wendy and Bebe. You were surprised but also excited.

"Hey (Name), we also want to go trick or treating with you too!". Wendy said excitedly while Cartman rolled his eyes at her comment.

You all agreed to go trick or treating together. Going from door to door collecting candies in your buckets. Halloween wasn't all just about the candy wasn't it? It was also about spending time with the people you care about. Everyone has their own definitions on holidays....but they all end up spending the holiday with someone or by themselves....

You always treasure each moment you spend with everyone. Nothing makes you more happier than this. By the time you knew it, your bucket was already full!

"Sorry guys! My bucket is completely full of candy! You'll have to collect the rest without me." You announced nervously.

"Huh? does that mean you won't come with us to anymore doors?".

"You can take my other bucket (Name)! I brought an extra one because....well- you don't need to know the reason okay?!". Tweek shakenly handed you his extra bucket and you thanked him with a smile.

"Thanks Tweek!". Your hands were now occupied, with one bucket that is full and one that is empty. You asked Timmy if he could hold your full bucket and he happily nodded.

This trick or treating has been going smoothly for no? Well it's not always promised that there won't be any drama happening. Cough cough Cartman....

Clyde suggested that you all could go to the haunted house that was set up at the school. Everyone except you eyed Clyde with an unimpressed look. They knew he would start crying as soon as he gets spooked by something creepy.

"I'm not going to cry this time on Halloween again guys!".

"Sure you won't Clyde...you big cry baby". Cartman snickered before being nudged in the shoulder by you.

Clyde ended up pissing his pants in the end and you comforted him from the embarrassment.

As the clock was about to strike midnight. Everyone was too tired to continue trick or treating. You all said your goodbyes to each other and gave Timmy a hug for holding your candy bucket before waving him off as well.

That was the best Halloween you ever had and you're lucky to be able to spend it with your loved ones.🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

I hope everyone has a nice Halloween and gets a lot of candy! Make sure to brush your teeth and don't get cavities!

[vikkirosko]

Hi, If It's not much trouble could you maybe write romantic (and separate) headcanons for Wendy, Heidi, Stan, Kyle, Craig and Bebe with a sweetheart!reader? Like, this kind of girl who loves hugging /holding hands and giving little gifts, who lives to make others smile and laugh, who is always smiling and who's just a sweet sunshine ball ^^

Headcanons Sweetheart

💙 Stan Marsh x fem!Reader 🐶

You and Stan have known each other for several years and he knew perfectly well that you were a good, sunny person. Even before you started dating, you always tried to cheer up others, especially when they were upset about something. You often tried to make him laugh when he was upset about problems in his relationship with Wendy or the fact that he quarreled with friends

When you started dating, he found out that you can be even nicer than usual. You often held his hand and hugged him even more often. You've always been gentle and affectionate with everyone, but especially with him. You often gave him various little gifts to please him. Sometimes it seemed to him that you lived to make others happy and you did it well. Every time Stan was sad, you were there to cheer him up or make him laugh

You were always there when Stan needed support, for which he was grateful to you. You didn't ask questions like his friends. You were just there to cheer him up, to bring back his smile. Next to you, his mood lifted and problems disappeared

You were one of the few people who always saw when Stan was worried about something and he knew that you would never judge him. You were gentle, soft and sweet. He sincerely loved you and he was really happy with you

💚 Kyle Broflovski x fem!Reader ✡️

There were a lot of things in Kyle's life that upset him. However, when you were with him, his problems and anger went away, because for all the time that you knew him, you always tried to make him smile only. When you started dating, you started doing it even more often. Kyle could come to you annoyed or upset and you were always ready to cheer him up

You were affectionate and attentive to everyone, but especially to Kyle. You hugged him every time you saw that he was upset and took his hand when he was angry at someone, smiling gently at him. You often tried to make him laugh, seeing perfectly when he was hiding a bad mood and he was grateful to you for that, because even his best friend Stan did not always notice Kyle's emotional state

For Kyle, you were a ray of sunshine that warmed him in a city where there was almost always snow and cold. You gave him little gifts to please him. You didn't need any special reason for this, because it was nice for you just to please him and bring a smile to his face, especially after a hard day for him

Kyle was glad that you were in his life. You helped him cope with the difficulties of his life, you always tried to make your dear person happy, because you put his happiness above your own, even though Kyle told you to put yourself first and not him. You rarely listened to him when he talked about it, so Kyle himself began to make sure that you were as happy as he was happy thanks to your efforts

🖕 Craig Tucker x fem!Reader 🚀

Craig was hardly a cheerful person. Most of the time he was calm and at school it was almost impossible to see him smiling, except when you were around. You were a sunny person who was often by his side. You and Craig were dating and some of your classmates didn't understand how you could even be together. You were different from each other, but it didn't bother you

You always tried to cheer up Craig. You often held hands and he didn't care if someone giggled because of it. He liked the warmth of your palm in his and he liked when you hugged him to cheer him up or cheer him up. You saw his emotions, which he usually hid from others, and this allowed you to better understand when he needed your support and care

Sometimes you gave him small gifts. They were usually little things, but he liked them anyway. Your attention cheered him up. You were like a warm sun that warmed him on days when there were clouds on his soul. Even if his expression didn't change, it really was

Despite the fact that Craig didn't laugh at your jokes, he still liked them. He knew that you were the sun not only for him but also for others. It was as if you lived to cheer up others, but for him there was a special place in your heart that no one but Craig could take

📚 Wendy Testaburger x fem!Reader 📱

You and Wendy often spent time together. You have been dating for some time and in all that time she has never regretted it. You were a kind and caring person who always tried to help others and cheer them up. You joked a lot and smiled a lot. You often set out to improve the mood of others, but Wendy always stood in a more meaningful place for you

You often spent time together. You were one of the nicest people Wendy knew. You were glad when others smiled and were especially affectionate towards her. You often hugged her, sharing your warmth with her. When she was sad, you said nice words to her and intertwined your fingers to show her that she was not alone and you were always ready to help and support her

You often gave her different little gifts when you wanted to bring a smile to her lips. For others, these gifts might be insignificant, but Wendy was genuinely happy with your gifts and tried to give you something in return, although you never expected gifts in return

For Wendy, you were one of her dearest people. She was glad that you were in her life. You helped her feel better even when she was hiding the fact that she was upset about something. Your concern warmed her heart and she hoped that she was able to respond to you in the same way

💄Bebe Stevens x fem!Reader 💞

Every time you and Bebe were together, many joked that you shone like the sun, because you were both bright and lifted the mood of others with your presence, but for Bebe you were the real sun that illuminated her life and made her every day brighter, even if she quarreled with someone

You often walked around the school holding hands. You liked holding hands with her and you didn't worry that your classmates or anyone else would say anything about it. Bebe was ready to fight back against anyone who would try to say something bad to you, because she wasn't going to let someone upset you

You often gave her various small gifts. Bebe really appreciated such pleasant little things and every time she kissed you on the cheek as a sign of gratitude, causing you to laugh in embarrassment. She kept your gifts and sincerely enjoyed them. When Bebe asked you what she should give you, you always answered that for you her smile and her happiness were the best gifts

For Bebe, you were the warm sun that warmed her heart. She knew that no matter how bad her day was, you would always come to her, say kind words to her, hug her, make her laugh. You always did everything to cheer her up and she was grateful to you for that

🌸Heidi Turner x fem!Reader🧣

When you and Heidi met, she started reaching out to you. She liked spending time with you and she liked that you were nice and attentive to others. You've always tried to make the people around you happy and smiling. You joked a lot and were always ready to support a person in a difficult moment. When you and Heidi started dating, she found out that you can be an even more affectionate person

You loved hugging her and holding hands with her. You liked these ways of showing sympathy and Heidi responded in kind. She felt calm and warm when you hugged her. At such moments, there was little that could upset her

You did a lot to keep Heidi in a good mood and keep smiling. Sometimes you even gave her little gifts. It wasn't something expensive, it was just nice little things that lifted her spirits, but it meant a lot to her, because they were gifts that she received from you

Heidi was glad that you appeared in her life. You were that warm ray of sunshine that shone for her even when there were clouds in the sky. You made her day better with your words, your warm smile and your jokes. She knew that when you were around, she was not afraid of sadness

[sunny-ssunset]

Pretty in pink!

Chapter 2

South park x a girly reader

divider by pinterest

Masterlist!

♡I suppose i'll make another since the other did soooo well it was hella fun to write tbh AGED UP

♡Sorry if its ooc or Y/n is a bit mean, I try to make my characters as realistic as possible and with that it means giving them bad qualities as well as good ones. If you have any feedback or like anything to add to the story please let me know

Welcome'd by the scent of freshly brewed coffee, Y/n walked to the till, Bebe clung to Y/n's arm as she asked for their orders, "Hiii tweak, could we get what we usually order?"

Tweak froze as soon as he heard Y/n speak, "GAH- YES." He dashed off to make drinks for the girls. Y/n giggled at Tweak's reaction, "Awwwh he's adorable"

"I'm sure he thinks your adorable too Y/n..." Wendy mumbled, not wanting Y/n to hear. "Wendy, You are so pretty I notice people fawning over you all the time! Besides You and Stan are fine arent you?" Y/n tried to comfort her, noticing the slight smile on Wendy's face, Its the thought that counts

"H-Here is your drink!" Tweek interupted, shaking as he handed Y/n and her friends' drinks over, blushing as Y/n's hand slightly brushed his, She smiled, handing the boy his cash.

They walked out of the coffee shop, giggling away and getting into Y/n's car, "Hey I heard Tweak likes Craig anyways." Bebe gossiped. "I thought that myth was busted when we saw Craig on a date with that New kid, What was their name again?" Said Y/n, putting the key into ignition.

"I'm not sure, They didnt have any memorable qualities" Wendy laughed as Y/n started driving to school, taking a sip of her drink. "Y/n Keep your eyes on the road" Bebe scolded taking her drink of her. "Hey i just bought you guys' drinks watch who yo- AH!" Y/n screeched swerving as she almost drove into another car. "Y/n this is the last time you are driving us" Wendy laughed awkwardly, trying to make light of the situation.

As the long nerve wrecking drive went on, and Y/n finally paying attention to the road, The girls FINALLY ended up at school. "That was soo long" Bebe cried, never sounding this relived in her entire life. "You are so dramatic" Y/n pouted rolling her eyes, "Girl you almost killed us" Wendy laughed at Y/n, Shifting her attention to her phone as she recieved a text from Stan.

Stan the man

We need to talk.

Cmon Wendy this is serious dont ignore me.

Wendy is typing...

Wendy knew what was coming, She always did its either a 'Its not you its me' or 'Its just the wrong time for me to be in a relationship right now' I mean yeah they'd get back together but relying on Stan's attention is the only source of self esteem she gets, its not like anyone else notices her with Y/n around...

"Wendy are you okay?" Y/n put an arm around Wendy's shoulder as she comforted the girl. "Yeah I think Stan wants to break up ag-"

"Hey hey hey pretty ladies!!!" Kenny interupted walking up to the girls not realising the context of the situation. "KENNY!!!" Y/n ran up to him, forgetting about Wendys problems to hug him.

"We'll talk later hun I promise" Y/n whispered, giving a comforting smile. How could Wendy hate her? She doesnt mean it, She didnt mean to ignore Wendy, She is too perfect to do that... Right?

divider by @k1ssyoursister

[alaskan-wallflower]

redoing my eye colors headcanon from last year

Cartman

Heterochromic eyes

His left one is blue and his right one is brown

Its a really unsettling blue tho like icy blue with this dark brown eye

Stan

He has blue eyes

Theyre dark enough to mistake them for black at first

But in the light they’re like this sapphire blue

Kyle

Hazel eyes

They’re more brown than green through

In the sunlight they look amberish green though

Kenny

I love the purple eyes headcanons

So I like to think he has these absolutely chilling violet eyes

But you get used to it after a while

Butters

Baby blue

Theyre really friendly looking too

Hes very expressive through his eyes tbh

Craig

Brown

Theyre a nice shade of brown though

Kinda like cocoa but not as friendly looking

Tweek

Greyish green

More grey than green though

You can see the green more if he’s actively wearing green but other than that they look grey with the slightest hint of green

Tolkien

Brown

Tgey look nearly black upon first glance

But in the sunlight he has these beautiful almost chocolate brown eyes

Clyde

Auburn

Theyre very clearly brown but more orange brown than anything

They look orangeish in the sunlight

Jimmy

Hazel eyes

Unlike Kyle though they’re more green than brown

More of a yellowish green but still hazel if that makes sense

Wendy

Brown eyes

Not as dark as Tolkien’s eyes but not as bright as Clyde’s.

They’re clearly brown though. Maybe with a hint of grey though.

Bebe

Not as light as Butters but still pretty light

They’re kinda sapphire blue. Not like Stan but not like Butters either

Study look darker or lighter depending on what she’s wearing

Heidi

Straight up grey eyes

Its a bit unsettling at first

But she has really friendly eyes nonetheless.

[kelexr]

I made these, so I thought I’d share!

Fake instagram pages :’)

They’re not aesthetically pleasing, but who’s keeping score?

[spookymultimedia]

[hunnysnoops]

˗ˋ𝕎𝕙𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕥𝕙 𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕟𝕤ˊ˗

Chapter Two: Favour

Kyle Broflovski x fem reader

I used to think about myself like I was a talented liar.

Also available on Ao3 and Wattpad!

Premise: You’ve been avoiding Kyle like the plague but when tragedy strikes the track team, you find yourself needing to ask him for a favour. You know what you have to do but you don’t want to do it.

Warnings: Vulgar language+humour / underage smoking / injury

MASTERLIST

The weather had gone straight back to shit just like you predicted. You prayed that track practice would be cancelled due to the roaring sky overhead but god ignored you, turning a blind eye and offering nothing more than your coach nagging at you.

Rain wasn't any nicer to run in than overbearing and dry heat, it made you feel like a wet dog every time you had to wring your hair out or shake the droplets off your skin. It was no light sprinkle, the rain pounded down on the ground like bullets. It was so heavy that it felt like pebbles, it wasn't often that it rained in Colorado due to high altitudes but when it did, it came down hard and unwavering.

You had thought it to be a little dangerous running on turf in this weather but coach Dawsey blatantly denied any objections, sending you for another loop around the track the second you had a complaint. You were just glad that you didn't have soccer that day and wouldn't be going home covered head-to-toe in mud.

"What?" Tolkien asks you, it had been a little difficult to hear with his own breathing and the sound of rain on turf while the two of you were running cool-down laps around the outside of the track, it’s not like you needed them with the way you were freezing in the run. It was like coach Dawsey wanted the entire team to get sick, what was supposed to be a cool-down lap was working better to keep you warm.

"I said what time is it?" You repeat your question, using the heel of your palm to wipe your eyes. Each breath, huffing in droplets of rain where they rested on your lips.

"I dunno," He shrugs, "I left my watch in my bag," Everyone had either left their bags in their lockers or cars or like you, had been too lazy to do either and took the menacing odds of putting it under the bleachers and praying that whatever was inside wouldn't face water damage.

You let out a groan, at this point, you couldn't even feel your legs, they had gone numb beneath you. The sky above you was grey, it was only 4:30 in June but it looked like angry clouds had swallowed up the sun. "If the purge ever becomes legal, I'm headed straight for Dawsey." At your words, both you and Tolkien glance to where the pot-bellied coach is, timing the unfortunate guys doing hurdles, over and over again. He really had a way of actively pinning teammates against one another.

"Poor Adam," Tolkien says between heavy breaths. His tee shirt and basketball shorts are plastered against his ebony skin, you aren't much better off; your hair had been weighed down so heavily with water that it kept slipping from what you had tied it up in, so you gave up all hope and let it down to stick on your neck, flyaway hairs glued around your face to frame it. You were far from the point of caring about what you looked like, the only thing on your mind was going home and getting dried off. 

"I would feel bad for him if he wasn't so whiney," On the other side of the track, Adam, a brunette guy in your grade, was extremely muscular for such a lean guy, the perfect build for track. You could've sworn that his parents had put him on steroids as a kid with how defined his muscles were, you had been on the track team with him and Tolkien for six years now. 

Adam wasn't the friendliest but he was fast, so you didn't mind his shortness of conversation as long as he brought another medal to the trophy case. He is clearing the hurdles in comparison to the rest of the guys in the same heat, he made them look like paralyzed turtles. 

Tolkien shrugs "Yeah but we need him to win the relay," The two of you ran past the long jump team, each and every one of them is covered in sand without fail. All of them look uncomfortable, sending you knowing glances. It was an understanding that all of you wanted to drown Coach Dawsey in the steeple chase pit.

You had been wearing Tolkien's hoodie since the rain started, it was definitely slowing you down with the extra weight it had while wet but you preferred to be slower than usual as opposed to having your white tee shirt turn translucent under the rainfall. You tended to stick together during track practice since you were on the mixed relay team together, you also liked to think that you were considered friends; not just because you ran at similar paces but because he enjoyed your company.

Disregarding Tolkien's last statement, you push some hair away from your face "I should've skipped with Red." Red was the fourth person on the mixed relay team, making up for a pretty solid roster though you tended to skip practice when she felt like it.

"I was going to but you begged me to not leave you alone."

"Because I'm not a bum who signs up for extracurriculars and skips them, don't tell her I said that," You retort "I'm trying to be a good influence." You were nearing where the hurdles were set up and Dawsey blew his whistle repeatedly, before flailing his arms rapidly and singling out one boy for having a quarter centimetre of his toe over the starting line.

"If you're trying to be a good influence maybe stop smoking your body weight in cigarettes and weed."

You narrow your eyes, giving him a firm chop in the side of his midriff. His eyes go wide and he stops in his tracks to fold over, one hand clutching where you hit him, the other supporting him on his knee to keep him standing up. "Oh my god," You slap a hand over your mouth, trying to smother a laugh “I did not mean to hit you that hard."

"Nah, you're fine, I just need a second to catch my breath," He takes a deep exhale, waving you off. You stop next to him, standing awkwardly, unsure of what to do so you just wait for him to keep moving. 

"Hey!" A gruff voice calls out, travelling over the tumping rain "Is he dying?"

"No," You answer for Tolkien "He's good."

"Then get back to running!" The balding man screeched, you were surprised that the adhesive of his toupe hadn't fallen loose under the drizzle.

"Fuck you, porky," You say hooking one arm under Tolkiens to try and get the lanky boy to stand back up straight.  

"What was that?" Coach narrows his eyes at you.

"I said 'I'm on it'!" You yell back, lies seeping through the gaps of your teeth. Tolkien shrugs your arm away from him, giving you a quick thumbs up before he carries on with his quick-paced steps, albeit breathing a little heavier. You were sure that Dawsey had to be putting you through some form of child abuse. "What a dickhead," You mutter to Tolkien, eyes still trained on where Dawsey focuses all of his attention on Adam.

"I'm surprised you're not used to him by now," He says "Then again you're not the most tolerant person."

"I'm totally tolerant, I love gay people."

Whatever remark Tolkien was about to say was quickly forgotten when all eyes fell on Adam. The brunette boy's heel had skidded and slipped as he jumped a hurdle, he threw his other leg out to try to catch himself. Instead of landing on the flat of his foot, his heel rolled and he was quickly sent backwards onto another boy, Emmet, Adam's calf bending in unnatural ways against the turf.

Then came the inevitable snap like a plastic ruler, the bone in his calf had broken completely in half. The impact of the stumble caused the ivory to poke through the muscle and fat of his leg. He lay on the wet surface of the track with a sickening cry, Emmet pinned beneath him screaming out in pain. Two up-and-coming track stars down in the span of thirty seconds.

"Adam!" Coach Dawsey sprinted faster than he did to the fridge toward Adam, crumbling to his knees. While the coach was focused on Adam, you were terrified for Emmet. Adam's elbow went straight into his ribs when he tumbled back into him. Emmet was frantically trying to push Adam off of him, which was no easy feat since his entire body was muscle. 

"Fuck!" Emmet finally scrambles out from behind him, keeling over and clutching his torso. Everyone gathers around to watch the mortifying scene, both you and Tolkien stand at a loss for words.

"It'll be okay Adam," Dawsey sounds like he's being brought to tears, if there are any, they're washed away by the rain. He peals off his 'South Park Athletics' baseball cap like he's paying respects to a dead person, the front of his toupe comes up when he raises the hat, unknowingly exposing the peak of his shiny bald head. "We're going to get through this."

Coach tries to brush away some of the hair that had fallen onto Adam's face but the boy quickly slaps his hand away "Don't fucking touch me!" He spits "Someone call an ambulance!" Next to you, Tolkien gags at the sight of the mangled leg and split skin.

"You heard him," Coach Dawsey rises to his feet, trying to ignore the fact that his star runner's bone was sticking out of his leg in a mangled mess "Call an ambulance!" He yells, accusatorily at the group of teenagers in a circle surrounding him. 

"You're the only one with a phone on you, dumb cunt!" You call out from the back of a crowd to be sure he wouldn't scope out it was you who said it. 

He feels around in his pockets and surely, you're right. He made everyone leave their phones in their bags during the duration of practice. He quickly dials 911, while the line rings he looks at the crowd with furrowed eyebrows "Whoever said that, reveal yourself."

Everyone stays silent until an operator picks up on the other end.

After Chrissy drove Emmet to the hospital and Adam was rolled away into the safety of an overpriced ambulance, something else was worrying your mind now that their health was guaranteed- who was going to replace them?

"Tolkien, I have a proposition," You had taken an unnerving b-line away from Heidi and found yourself at Tolkien's table where he sat with the rest of his friends, you were already drowning in axe body spray and aftershave but you needed an impromptu meeting, dragging Red to come with you so you didn't have to face all of that testosterone alone. "Come over here," You swiftly gesture for him to come sit at a vacant table with you and Rebecca.

You spent the entire night wide awake on caffeine pills, trying to figure out who to sub in for Adam. The mixed relay team before he got injured was perfect down to every minute detail, now you were short of your fastest runner, leaving you, Tolkien, and Rebecca to fumble around for a replacement since the coach was mourning the loss of his shooting star, who was indefinitely out for at least six months. It didn't help that Adam had taken Emmet down in the process, now you were missing two great assets.

Tolkien looks back at his friends who watch him with confused and unwavering stares before pushing himself away from the table with a sigh. Leaving his lunch tray behind, he slips into the empty table next to Red and across from you. "Yeah?"

"I need you to ask Kyle to join the track team," You say, though it was difficult enough to humble yourself down into admitting you needed Kyle. He ran faster and more consistently than almost every sprinter on the team, you had plenty of girls to sub in for you and Red though with Adam dragging his sub out with him, you were left with no replacement aside from Spencer Hollis who was the other alternate and opted to go on a road trip with his friends and come back only for exams so he was out of the question with the track meet in two weeks.l

"Kyle?" Red furrows her eyebrows, tone suddenly switching "That's your solution? He's not even on the team."

"He's really fast though," You begin to plead "I've known him forever and trust me, he is one speedy little fucker, I swear on my life."

"Not swearing on much," Red shrugs. 

"Why am I asking him?" Tolkien asks.

"Because you're friends with him," You were on the verge of pulling out the list of pros and cons of having Kyle on the team you had spent Thursday night making. "Guys, I begged the coach to let this slide and it was really embarrassing so can you please ask him? He said that he'll let Kyle join if he comes to the next practice and does well."

"You're at his house all the time, just ask him tonight," Red was nowhere near as invested as you were, hence why she skipped track all of the time. She wasn't worried about getting slow or lazy, she counted Coach Jackson's soccer practices towards track and ultimately figured she didn't need both to stay fit. Red always sent you to track practice with excuses for why she couldn't make it. 

"Why are you at his house all of the time if you hate him so much?" Tolkien sits still, trying to piece together any sense. When you were frantically texting him the night of Adams's stumble, he suggested putting Scott in his place. In your not-so-humble opinion, Scott was way too slow for the 4x100 relay. You scribbled around in your notebook, trying to work out his run times which you meticulously memorised and came to the conclusion that it wouldn't work no matter where you placed him in the relay.

"Because their parents are swingers," She says this with such ease, made sense with how much she teased you about it. You would've complained if you didn't poke fun at her for worse.

"They are not swingers," You address "They are just good friends that hang out a lot and in turn, I have to hang out with Kyle a lot."

Red and Tolkien cast one another a side glance before Red turns her attention back to you. "Do they 'hang out' a lot without you guys around?" She softens her tone in a somewhat condescending way, the same way you would talk down to a child. 

"They're not swingers," You emphasize, choosing to ignore the insinuations of you and Kyle which almost made you gag. "Please, Tolkien, we need this but don't tell him I said that."

"It's not really a proposition if you're just asking me to do something for you," He points out.

"It totally is, it's a plan of action," You say "Action which we need to take so we don't lose or get disqualified," There had been rumours of college scouts attending the track meet and you were in desperate need of getting a scholarship if you didn't want to be in student debt until the day they buried your cold body. 

"Just put Scott in," Red suggests and you give her nothing more than a cold glare.

"Next person who says that is getting anonymously cyberbullied for the next year," You say, pointedly at the two of them before running your hands down your face, nearing defeat "Why did it have to rain?"

"Maybe it was divine intervention," Red says, nonchalantly "I think Dawsey wanted to sleep with Adam or something and that was god saving him from getting molested by a divorced PE teacher." 

"He's weird but I don't think he's a pedophile or anything."

"You two are as fast as him and he doesn't give a shit about you," Red points out, one eyebrow raising slightly "Really think about it." Your mind began to wander to the way Dawsey always had a hand on Adam's back, how he always put him in the most ideal lane, and how he almost cartoonishly sprinted to his rescue when hit leg split.

"Maybe you're right." From the look on his face, you can tell Tolkien is calling back moments of Dawsey being a little too touchy with Adam. 

"Or maybe coach just likes him more because he's a straight white guy and I can safely say the three of us are not," You draw the pair's attention back to you "Point is, he's out, Emmets out, Spencer's out, Scott is not even in question and we need Kyle."

"You need him?" A small smile begins to play on Red's face. In the past couple of years, Red had taken to a more grunge type of style, causing her to look like Kurt Cobain's lost daughter who fell into a vat of bright red hair dye, which was currently growing out, exposing her dark roots.

"Nuh-uh," You say almost instinctively, absentmindedly folding your arms. "I didn't say I need him I said we need him, like collectively because we're totally pwned if we don't coerse Kyle onto the team."

"And we're one hundred percent sure Emmet can't run?" Tolkien asks "I thought he just got hit in the stomach."

"I asked him about it and he told me cracked his ribs and it hurts to breathe or something, I dunno but it's super fucking gay." Your eyes shift to Red "Not in a derogatory way but in a lame-

"Yeah, we know," Tolkien stops you in your tracks. 

"What a pussy," Red says, she isn't really tuned in, she's moved on to watching street fights online while partially listening to the conversation "It always hurts you to breathe and you're still running."

"That's what I said," You exasperate.

"It really shouldn't hurt to breathe," Tolkien says "Might be a little on the nose but you really need to stop smoking."

Red disregards this completely, "Ask Kyle next period or Tolkien could just text him." looking up from her phone to you "Or 1 could just text him." You and Kyle had texted each other a total of six times, this was no exaggeration, it was exactly six times.

Oct 11th, 2020

Kyle Broflovski: Is Ike at your house?

You: Ya

July 21st, 2023

You: Do you know where Kenny is?

Kyle Broflovski: No

Kyle Broflovski: I thought he was with you

You: K he's not

 "I can't ask him, I can't even breathe around him without gagging," You complain "Because authentic gingers have this really specific and pungent smell, like every single one, without fail."

Tolkien eyebrows are raised, wrinkles forming on his forehead "That might be the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"What does a ginger smell like?" Red put her phone face down on the table, suddenly intrigued.

"It's stagnant and a little musty, not like body odour musty but more like an old second-hand bookstore that has mildew and black mold-

"I can't help but feel like we got off topic here," Tolkien abruptly cuts you off again for the second time that day "So can we just agree on Kyle so I can eat my lunch?" At this, you and Red nod, with no sense of disagreement "Okay, cool," The very second Tolkien stands up from the table, the bell begins to shriek, signalling the end of lunch hour. He throws his hands up in exasperation, looking woefully at his unfinished tray of food. 

You had been entirely too stiff when Biology class rolled around, more aware of Kyle's presence than usual. Fate, or perhaps the whims of the teacher, had decreed that you would be seatmates for the remainder of the semester. However, there was no friendship to be found between you, only a simmering animosity that hung in the air like static before a storm.

As the teacher droned on about cell structures and molecular biology, you and Kyle remained steadfast in their resolve to ignore each other's presence. You exchanged no words, no glances, only the occasional rustle of papers or the tap of a pencil against a desk.

Despite your mutual disdain, there was an unspoken understanding between you – a silent agreement to coexist in the same space without acknowledging each other's existence. And so, you buried yourself in their work, diving into the intricacies of biology as if it were a shield against the discomfort of your shared proximity.

You knew what you were supposed to do, but that didn't make it any easier for you to swallow your pride and ask Kyle for a favour. It was hard enough to admit to yourself that you needed him if you wanted to win the mixed relay which you had spent the entire year anticipating. With a deep breath, you replay how you'll ask him over and over again, being sure that you don't sound desperate.

"Kyle, have you ever thought about joining the track-

"Nope," He answers before you can even finish your sentence. Kyle doesn't even look up from his work as he says this, leaving you to stare at the side of his hooked nose before quickly looking down at your paper.

"Okay," you mutter under your breath, you were so quiet that you weren't sure he even heard you. The minutes ticked by, marked only by the rhythmic scratching of pens and the occasional sigh of frustration, you fell back to silence and didn't press him any further. 

"I did everything I could," You greatly over-exaggerate the eleven words you had shared with Kyle in biology like you had gone to war asking him to join the team, in your mind, you had. Now you were picking at a basket of curly fries in a diner where you complained about your excruciating dilemma to your Bebe. 

"Everything?" Bebe quirks an eyebrow, taking a sip of her cherry coke, glossed lips pressing around the red and white straw. When she lifts them, there's a sticky residue of glitter on the straw  "What does this entail?"

"It entails Kyle being a dickhead."

"Yeah, I'm sure," She says, not an ounce of belief in her voice. She leaned back in the red leather booth. Bebe looks beyond beat (for her standards), she haphazardly tied her curly hair into two twin braids, mismatched elastics. She had been wearing nothing more than sweatpants and a tank top when you left her house, forcing you to surrender your hoodie to keep goosebumps away from her bare arms. "Should we go to Clyde's later?"

"Why would we go to Clyde's? It's almost ten," You furrow your eyebrows "I don't really wanna spend my Friday night third wheeling."

"You won't be third wheeling, it's not like we're dating or anything-

"Yeah, but it's worse to third-wheel two horny people who aren't even dating," You had a gut feeling that any day now Clyde and Bebe would become official, Stan was now taking Wendy's time back up, Nichole and Tolkien seeing each other on the low, and you were suspicious of Red and Heidi, now Bebe was going for her elementary spark. All of your friends were abruptly falling in love and no one gave you the memo, leaving you in the dust.

"So what better things did you have planned?" She steals a fry away from you, dragging it through the ketchup.

You shrug "Get high and look at pictures of Snoopy."

"That's more of a thing you do with Red," Bebe said. Despite the statement itself being true, you could tell she was trying to deviate from you to go see her new fling.

"So you're tyna ditch me now to go hang out with Clyde?" You fall short of the amusement that Bebe's trying to portray.

"What? no," She says this like your statement was incredulous "I'm just saying that you would have more fun smoking with Rebecca."

"And you'd have more fun banging Clyde?" You weren't sure if it had been the nagging feeling that all of your friends were leaving you in the dust and making time for better things or the fact that this wouldn't be the first time Bebe cancelled your plans to hang out with someone else but something about this conversation was irking you.

Her face drops "Why are you being a dick?"

"Why are you trying to get rid of me?" 

She wouldn't admit to it but it was true. Not that Bebe necessarily had strife with you, more so she tended to fall on the fickle side of things and being around you so much had put her into a rut. "I'm not," Bebe wrangles her mind to sedate this before it blows up "Sorry, can we please just drop this?”

Silence stretches between the two of you, if it weren't for the chatter of other customers and light buzzing of decrepit ceiling lights, it would've been utter stillness. Her icy blue eyes were peering into your soul, your hoodie hanging limp off her narrow shoulders.

You didn't necessarily want to leave it alone, you weren't one to lie down rather than win an argument but today your internal chemistry had been tweaked; for a moment you thought about letting it go, being rational and not provoking, which was so hard since it was what you were so good at. "No," You answer "I don't think we should drop it."

You can see the look of annoyance creep up on Bebe's face "Why?"

"It's better to talk about it-

"This always happens though," Bebe begins "I say something, you say something, and then we don't talk for a month so I don't think it's better to talk about it."

"Maybe there's a reason we fight all the time," you point out. There were at least one hundred reasons why you and Bebe fought all the time, mainly because the two of you fed into each other's agitation, putting the two of you together was like leaving a lit candle in the woods.

"I'm not here to psychoanalyze this, let's just go and get stoned." She pulls the final trick from her sleeve, pot to put this to sleep.

Bebe was the match to your kindling, the fuel to your fire and that's why you had been so off and on with her since middle school, you were like that annoying couple who kept breaking up and then exhausting everyone by getting back together. 

As much as you want to argue until your throat turns dry as sandpaper from yelling, you also want to get high and laugh until your lungs burn. "Sure, okay."

It goes quiet for another minute. Followed by another and another until you both accept that there's nothing more to say, you pay the bill and begin the trek back to your car. While the rain had subsided it was as cold as ever, always an unwelcomed familiarity that came with living in South Park. Even with summer inevitably approaching, the nights were still frigid after rainfall almost to the point where you could see your breath. 

Bebe had stolen your hoodie and left you shivering on the walk to your car. The diner parking was something outrageously complicated where you had to download an app and pay online, to which you were lazy and in being lazy, parked far away in a faraway spot. This had taken far more time to find the spot, park, and walk to the diner than it would've been to get an app and pay the three dollars.

You had clutched the pink bottle of pepper spray that was hooked onto your carabiner tightly in your hand, never too sure of who would try to get one on you while you found your way through the dark streets. 

Finally, after what seemed like a century of stumbling blindly through darkness, you made it to your car, parked in front of a locksmith. The street lamps were dim, you supposed it was nice that you didn't have light pollution in town but you hadn't even noticed the oddity on your car until Bebe pointed it out.

"What's that?" She squints her eyes before turning on her phone flash to inspect. 

There it was, unmistakable in the faint glow of a nearby streetlamp: a bright yellow clamp securing your car's front wheel. "Oh no, no, no!" Your exclamation cut through the eery quiet of the night "Fuck!"

"Oh, shit," Bebe mutters, immediately beginning to rapidly type on her phone, the blue light illuminating her tanned face, you heat the loud ding of a notfication.

Your hands find their way to grip your hair "What the fuck!?" You shout, louder than intended, your voice echoing off the surrounding buildings, the emptiness of the night amplifying your distress. "I don't have any unpaid parking tickets, what the fuck?" You repeat, mind running wild with how your parents would react. Your phone had died a little over a half hour ago so you were choosing to use that as an excuse to delay telling your parents.

"Look, you parked in a bike lane," She gestures out. Surely enough Bebe was right, you had and you were also inexplicably screwed over.

"Why didn't you tell me?" You knew Bebe wasn't to blame for your car being immobilized but a million thoughts were tangling into a jumbled mess inside of your head.

"I didn't see either," She looks up from her phone to where you frantically pace the sidewalk "Not my fault you parked in a fucking bike lane and didn't notice."

Your eye catches a slip of paper wedged into your window shield and immediately you reach for it. 

This notice is to inform you that your vehicle has been clamped due to a violation of parking regulations or outstanding fines. The clamp has been securely attached to your vehicle's wheel, rendering it immobile. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MOVE THE VEHICLE OR REMOVE THE CLAMP.

Reason for Clamping: [illegal parking]

Location of Clamping: [Maplewood Street, v2ah60]

For instructions on release please dial +15392848788

Thank you for your cooperation.

You wave the notice around "Bebe take a picture of this, my phone died and I need the number," To this, she just stares at you blankly "Please!?" You insinuate. Panic is etched clearly across your features.

"Jesus, just relax," The irritation is obvious in her voice as takes a picture with a blinding flash not just of the slip of paper but of you holding the notice, eyes squinting from the sudden bright light and hair messy from nearly ripping it out due to stress. She looks at the picture she took and giggles. 

"Fuck off, can you be serious right now?" You're too busy thinking of all the ways your dad will execute you rather than the harsh tone you were using with your friend. He didn't speak to you for a week when he found out you were on birth control, you couldn't imagine what he would do when he found out that you had a fine. 

"Sorry?" She sounds like she's actually taken offence to your words. "I'm trying not to be stressed since you're two minutes away from tearing your hair out."

"Because you don't have to worry about your dad turning you into taxidermy," To others, this may have sounded ridiculous but you had no doubt in your mind that your father would take such extremities. "Can you please be mature about this?"

Bebe's eyes widen slightly, eyebrows raising "You want me to be mature when all you do is bitch and moan about Kyle like we're in the fourth grade?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind it." You snap. You weren't the most rational person, now desperately grasping for someone or something to shift the blame. 

"You can't get all pissed off when this is your fault," Bebe crosses her arms, physically getting defensive, the phone still clutched in one hand "You're the one who parked illegally."

"Because you told me to park in front of the locksmith!" You gesture towards the building you were now arguing in front of. The building itself looked haunted, the run-down locksmith shop stands like a forgotten relic amidst a row of bustling businesses that were kept with the care that this shop was definitely missing. The windows, clouded with grime and dust, offer only glimpses of the dim interior beyond. Some are cracked, their fractured panes held together by strips of weathered tape. The exterior itself was hideous, a bright yellow paint dulled by the passage of time that had orange patterns of keys and locks all over it, a sign above hung that read 'chipper locks' You didn't imagine that they got much business.

"You listened!" She deflects the blame like a game of tennis

 "No, I said I didn't want to park here because it's sketchy and I was scared a crackhead would hide under my car and slash my Achilles tendon when I got back in but you told me to stop bitching about it!"

"You're the only person on earth that would worry about something so fucking irrational, shouldn't you be stressed about finals instead of having nightmares about serial killers you made up in your head?"

"I didn't make it up in my head," You defend "It's all over like everything." It did quickly become a fear of yours since Nichole sent you a video about traffickers hiding under cars and slashing women's tendons, all she said was 'that's crazy lol' but it instilled terror in you and made you glance under your car before getting in no matter where you had left it parked.

"You're insane," She mutters, so quietly that she hadn't expected you to hear. 

Unfortunately for both of you, it didn't fall deaf upon your ears "I'm sorry?"

"It's okay," Bebe waves you off.

"No, I'm not apologizing," You furrow your eyebrows "You just called me insane, what the fuck, Bebe."

"Not in a bad way," Bebe hugs herself to try and fight off the cold. She doesn't seem to grasp the gravity of every word she spat out at you.

"How is there possibly a good way to call someone insane?" 

"I meant you're insane in a wild kind of way, like a party animal," She tries to climb out of the grave she was digging for herself. "Like, wow, this girl's insane," Bebe mimics in a deeper voice, trying to portray some frat guy referring to you like you are the life of the party.

You stare at her, mouth slightly agape as you process the situation. "You know what?"

"What?" Bebe tucks a flyaway strand of her blonde hair behind her ear, her messy twin braids swaying slightly in the wind. 

"You're a fucking cunt," You spit, pointing a finger at her in an accusatory manner, eyes narrowing. The words fell from your mouth like venom puncturing skin. 

Whatever Bebe was expecting you to say it wasn't that. She's genuinely taken aback and it's clear across her face, her eyes widened in disbelief, pupils dilating as if trying to take in the enormity of what she had just heard. The muscles in her jaw slackened, her lips parting slightly in a silent gasp. "Yeah?" She raises her voice "You're a little bitch."

"I don't really care," The two of you had an almost impressive way of taking things from zero to one hundred with little build-up between. 

"Do you care about anything?" Bebe's expression shifted subtly, betraying the undercurrent of annoyance coursing through her. Her lips pressed into a thin line, a silent indication of her displeasure, while her eyebrows drew together in a slight furrow, hinting at the frustration simmering just beneath the surface.

"You'd probably know if you weren't too busy trying to get dicked down by Clyde," You retort, the muscles in your jaw tensing up.

"At least I can get laid, you just wallow around in your own loneliness and get all bitter about happy couples for whatever fucking reason."

You completely breeze past the fact that she's right and scramble for something to say "You wanna be an author and you can't even read the ingredients list on a can of Coke," Though you tried to maintain composure, there was a flicker of impatience in your movements, a subtle stiffness in your posture that spoke volumes.

Her brows arched upwards, forming a perfect curve of incredulity. A flush of colour rose to her cheeks, a telltale sign that you had hurt her. "You're such a dick," Bebe says and a hush settles over you "You know your now a good person, right?"

“And you think you are?" 

For another time, the conversation fell into a lull. For a long while, you stood there in the cold, breath mingling with the frosty air, until a familiar car rolled to a stop right next to yours. It was Clyde's black Chevrolet.

"You texted Clyde?" This might've been what hurt you the most, more than any other sentence uttered that night.

"Yup, sure did,” Bebe turns away from you to open the passenger door "You have a huge pimple on your face by the way, it's literally the only thing I can focus on when I look at you, it's fucking disgusting." 

Your hand reaches for the small bump on your cheekbone on instinct "It's a spider bite, actually," You're correct this fact makes you seem high and mighty "Because I sleep with my window open."

“Oh my god," Bebe mutters, wrinkling her nose. 

"Does she need a ride?" Clyde asks eyebrows furrowed as his eyes shoot between where you stand on the pavement and Bebe climbing into the passenger seat.

"No, she's fine," Bebe answers for you, shutting the door. Inside the car, Clyde says something to her that you can't make out, just muffled mutters. In just seconds you hear the ignition start and watch as he glides down the road.

Your fingers curled into fists at your sides as a surge of newfound anger washes over you. As Clyde's car pulled away, disappearing into the darkness with Bebe at the wheel, the cold seeped into your bones, matching the icy chill in your chair as you stood alone on the deserted street.

"You're a fucking asshole, Bebe!" You shout after them though it's futile, you know she can't hear you, but it doesn't stop you from holding up your middle finger and cussing her out. To passersby, it probably looked like you had something in your system "And you're wearing my hoodie!"

You run your hands down your face, nearly scraping the soft skin with your fingernails as you pace around in a small circle. You were left with a car rendered immobile, a dead cellphone, nine dollars on you, and a home forty minutes away in walking distance, better start moving. 

Glancing at your car and the long dark road ahead, you quickly unlocked your car, hopping into the driver's seat and rummaging around in your compartment for a little bit of relief. You dig deep into the console box for a box of stale cigarettes you had forgotten in there, still it was better than nothing. You yank one out and let it rest between two fingers while you bring a lime green lighter to the end to ignite it.

The tip glowed bright orange as you brought it to your lips, inhaling deeply and exhaling a plume of smoke into the cool night air. You lock your car, tucking the lighter and pack of Marlboros into your pocket, snatching the notice from your windshield for the phone number and begin the trek home. 

While it was only an eight-minute drive, the walk was more strenuous. You wished that you had some heavily padded parka to wrap around yourself though you had nothing more than the heat radiating off the end of your cigarette, in your other hand you grasped to the pink bottle of pepper spray for dear life, the car clamp notice tucked under your arm. 

As childish as it was, you found yourself almost fighting back tears, that familiar feeling building in your throat like every awful thing you had ever felt was going to fall through the gaps of your teeth. You were sure that you deserved to be deserted on the damp streets, truthfully you didn't expect Bebe to show you any form of mercy after what you had said to her and you had proved to be correct on the matter. 

It was moments like this where you were sure there was nothing worse than making friends.

Maybe you would be a hermit for a bit, head straight home after track and soccer, then lock yourself away for the summer until you've reinvented yourself into someone a little more agreeable. 

The rhythmic sound of your breath mingled with the gentle rustle of leaves in the breeze, the chill of the night air nipped at your cheeks, but you pressed on, fueled by the knowledge that there would be a hot shower waiting for you at home. That almost cancelled out the idea of telling your parents you were getting charged for illegal parking and then explaining a fabricated lie to them that you smelled like tobacco because the man beside you at the diner was smoking. What a delinquent you were. 

As you walked, your thoughts drifted like smoke on the wind, swirling and shifting with each exhale. Memories and worries danced through your mind, fleeting and ephemeral, like wisps of smoke disappearing into the night sky. You were so close to subbing in Scott for the relay even though you had been so opposed to it since it would guarantee a loss but if Tolkien wouldn't ask Kyle then you would have to accept the fact you were bound to lose since you were cursed with a team that only signed up for track to skip school on the day of the meet and hang around the concession stand.

The quiet peace that you had lost in your own thoughts was quickly broken when you picked up on the navy blue car slowing down as it approached you. Your cigarette burns to the filter and you drop it to the ground, smothering the fizzing embers out with your heel as you watch the car for a brief moment before quickly turning and quickening your pace. Praying to every god you didn't believe in that this wouldn't evolve into something more.

When you speed up, so does the car. You're even more aware of your surroundings now, the mace firm in your grip, you kept one thumb on the top preparing yourself for the worst. "Hey!" A gruff voice from the car yells, he rolls his window down, you can't make out his face and you aren't sure that you want to.

This is all it takes for you to move from your fast walk to a run, ignoring the cold air eating away at the tip of your nose and the sharp burning in your lungs. The man from the car yells something else but your heart is pounding too loud for you to hear anything off in the distance.

Your senses suddenly heightened, a prickling sensation crawling up the back of your neck. You felt a surge of unease wash over you as the sound of an engine revving filled the air, growing louder and closer with each passing moment.

Instinctively, you hastened your pace even further, your heart pounding in your chest as you cast a nervous glance over your shoulder. Its headlights pierced the darkness like beacons of warning.

You knew you had to act fast, figuring that whoever was chasing you was the type to slash tendons and the streets were absurdly empty aside from you and the man in the car. With a desperate glance around you, you spotted an alleyway up ahead, a narrow passage shrouded in darkness. Without hesitation, you veered off the main road and plunged into the shadows, heart pounding in your chest as you raced for safety.

With another glance around, you finally stopped to catch a breather, trying to swallow up all of the air you could and think of what to do next, it felt like wild horses were racing through veins in the form of adrenaline. Your heartbeat pounded in your ears and your shaky breathing seemed to devour every last rational thought you have.

You renavigate your way home, trying to avoid the sketchy road where the man in the car was likely waiting to pull you in. You emerge from the ally on another street, clear of any cars, with a deep sigh, you light another cigarette, leaving you with an empty box that you toss into the nearest garbage. The nicotine had soothed you, the notice was now crumpled up into your pocket wedged next to your dead cell phone and your carabiner hung off one of your fingers, keys and mace clattering against one another.

Still, you were anxious despite the cigarette smoke loosening your tightly wound nerves just a little. You stayed hyper-aware of everything around you, walking as fast as you could before it classified as a run and being sure to remain silent so you could hear everything around you.

"Wait, man!" You hear a voice off in the distance and turn to see that navy blue car once again. You were ready to take off until you noticed something in the dim light of the street lamps. The face of a guy around your age, a straight nose and dark hair, Stan Marsh.

You pause as the car pulls beside you and you see the other faces in the car, in the back sit Cartman and Kenny, in the passenger seat is Stan's right-hand man and your least favourite person, Kyle. "Oh my god, I thought you were a pedophile!" Your voice picks up with agitation.

"Why?"

"Because you fucking trailed me with your car at night and yelled at me on an empty street!” You look past Kyle and directly at Stan where he sits by the wheel. You take one more long drag of your cigarette before snubbing it out on the pavement. Kyle wrinkles his nose at the smell "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

He gives Kyle a little nervous glance before looking at you "Wendy said something happened with Bebe and we saw you and figured-

"That you would make me think I was going to get kidnapped?" You almost want to drag him out of his seat and sucker punch you for scaring you so badly.

"Hey," Kenny chimes in from the back, he's smiling at you, a fresh scrape across his left cheekbone. "I texted you and you didn't answer."

"So-uh, do you want a ride?" Stan asks "Because you'll get kidnapped for real if you keep walking."

"We don't have room," Cartman adds where he sits behind Kyle, stretching his legs out with what little space Kyle had given him. 

"Because you're taking all of it up fatass," Kenny points out "Sit in the front."

"I don't want to be in the same car as a junkie, she'll probably stick us with needles and get us all addicted to heroin." Cartman was well bundled up on this chilly night, a grey hoodie and flannel hanging overtop.

Stan ignores this comment "So?"

You think through Stan's offer, even though it was a nightmare situation to be stuck in a vehicle with Cartman and Kyle he was likely right when he said you would get kidnapped for real. South Park wasn't the safest town despite how it was portrayed on travel pamphlets and blogs. While the residential area was good for kids to play in, the main streets were a little crude. "Yeah, sure," You mutter "Please."

Cartman lets out a loud groan as the boys reorganize themselves to accommodate you. Kyle ducks out of the passenger seat and out into the chilly night, to your surprise, he isn't wearing his hat, his red curls hanging loose. Cartman hauls himself into the passenger seat, uttering complaints the entire time.

You wait for Kyle to clamour into the backseat but he doesn't, he just stands by the open door, waiting expectedly for you to get in. When you realize that you're meant to be sitting in the middle you almost want to protest but decide against it, Stan was being nice enough offering you a ride when you barely knew him aside from being Wendy's boyfriend. 

The very second you buckle into the backseat, Cartman begins to cough dramatically. He's heaving on nothing, exaggerating the slight smokey smell that lingered on you. He claws at his throat "It's so hard to breathe," He mumbles like he's choking.

This must be what hell feels like. 

“Why were you walking?" Kenny breaks up the sound of Eric wheezing. Wordlessly, you reach for the crumpled slip of paper in your pocket and smooth it out as much as possible over one of your thighs before handing it to him. His eyes visibly brighten as he reads it a small smile splitting across his face "Illegal parking," he lets out a low whistle "I love myself a lawbreaker," He hands the notice back to you.

Kyle subtly looks down at the paper, he didn't finish reading it before you fold it up and tuck it back into your pocket. He's interested but he won't admit it, so instead of pressing the matter, he trains his eyes to watch the concrete sidewalk roll by out of the window. 

You're crammed between the two, your thighs touching theirs, Kyle tries to make himself as small as possible while Kenny carelessly man-spreads, his leg almost overlapping yours. "How long are you going to be grounded for that one?" Kenny asks.

"I'm trying to get it settled without them finding out," With aptitude you peek at Kyle whose eyes meet yours before deviating. You didn't think he would go snitching on you but it still worried you. He had far more blackmail over you than you had on him, you were still clinging to things he did in freshman year while it seemed that every month you had a new secret to keep from your parents. 

"Good luck with that," He says, also staring out the window though he didn't do it to avoid you "You got the money to pay for the fine?"

You find yourself glimpsing back at Kyle, using this question as a scapegoat to clear yourself before he even gets the idea of telling either of your parents "Yes and I will pay the fine as soon as possible, from this point moving forward I am going to be a law-abiding citizen, I vow to never park in a bike lane again and not to steal prozac from my dad," You indirectly address Kyle, he can tell what you're trying to do based on the way you keep shifting your eyes to look at him. Kyle looks at you, he doesn't say anything but you understand him clearly 'What the fuck are you doing?'

"Okay?" Kenny says, sounding confused "That's cool, I guess, good for you."

"Hide your Advil, Stan," Cartman peeps up, watching you from the rearview mirror "Crash is on a crime spree, she might steal your mom's jewelry for drug money too.”

Growing too tired to say something snarky in return, you just lean back in your seat, eyes half-lidded as you listen to Cartman besmirch you. Everyone in the car had accepted this to be a regular occurrence. At first, when everyone in your grade greeted you by calling you Junkie, Crackhead or something along that line you wanted to hug your mom and cry but you quickly grew desensitized to it after two weeks, it just felt like another nickname.

Stan cranks his stereo up to drown out Cartman's incoherent complaints. It's some metal band that you had never heard before playing faintly while Kenny shows you pictures of his roster on his cheap phone that he had spent two paycheques purchasing. "So where were you guys headed before you picked me up?" You ask, purely to try and make polite conversation, feeling immensely out of place with the four of them all together.

"We were going to Stans for game night," Kenny says, still scrolling through his stickers on Snapchat "You wanna come?" Truthfully you hadn't been hanging out with Kenny as much as you used to, you still smoked pot every now and then but it was rare for the two of you to sit down and actually do something together or go out somewhere. You were too preoccupied with track and soccer and all of your friend's drama, their secrets piling on you like fines.

Cartman whips his head around to look at Kenny with fury in his eyes. "Nah," You draw out, scrambling for an excuse "I should probably just go home and repent for my crimes against the state."

"Kinda hot," Kenny nods absentmindedly.

Conversation faltered as you struggled to find common ground, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy between you. Every attempt at small talk fell flat, each joke met with forced laughter that only served to highlight the awkwardness of the situation. You could've sworn you were more socialized than you were acting. “Man, I love track and field, what an incredible sport to have on a college application,” This time you aren’t as discreet with your subliminal messaging to Kyle, turning your head to look at him completely. He doesn’t say anything.

With each passing mile, the silence grew more suffocating, pressing in on them like a heavy blanket. You fidgeted nervously, your eyes darting from one face to another as you searched for an escape from the uncomfortable tension.

Stan sped over a speed bump, you reached your hands out to grab something on instinct, hand gracing Kyle's leg for the briefest moment, still you retract it and look at him in horror. 

Clasping your hands together in your lap you anticipate each passing second as Stan neared your street you felt relief wash over you like a baptism. "Right here," You say and Stan slows the car by your front yard, the lights are on in your home casting a warm glow into the velvety black night. 

Before the car even comes to a full stop, Kyle opens the door, wanting this to be over as bad as you do. With haste, he unbuckled his seatbelt and took a step out with his lanky legs. His green eyes watch your every move while you shimmy out of the middle seat, taking in a deep breath of clean air that didn't smell like car freshener and body spray. "Thanks for the ride," You give Stan a tight-lipped smile, ready to walk away until Kyle opens his mouth.

"When's the next track practice?"

"What?" You furrow your eyebrows "You're joining?"

"Yeah, Tolkien asked me to," He says and the space between you fills with silence.

The soft expression on your face quickly morphs into something a little more vicious "So Tolkien asks you to join and you jump at the chance?" You say, snarky.

Kyle seems unphased "I actually like Tolkien."

"Yeah, I know, You probably explore each other's bodies." You brush past him fighting the urge to just walk into your house, maybe it was because someone had replaced your calcium with mercury or you were just tired but today someone had messed with your internal chemistry "Uh, thanks though, it's on Tuesday." Finally, you had gotten that win you were chasing all day.

A/N: oml sorry this took so long, I had no idea where the plot was going but we’re good now so the other chapters won’t take so long.

[alister312]

fuck it. SP pizza headcanons.

Stan: prefers vegetarian pizza, but isn’t against chicken or a leaner meat like that. avid defender of roast broccoli being a good pizza topping.

Kyle: thinks more than 3 toppings on a pizza is too much. also tends to fold it when he eats (new yorker vibes) and loves brick oven pizza.

Kenny: does not care what you put on the pizza as long as there is SO MUCH cheese. loves pullings slices off the rest of the pizza slowly to see the long cheese strings.

Cartman: NO veggies EVER. gets every type of meat the store offers as a topping. thinks deep dish pizza is the best kind.

Butters: doesn’t care about type of toppings but is pretty insistent about thin crust. he likes when the pizza very crispy.

Craig: eats his pizza with a fork and knife like a fucking weirdo. he just doesn’t like getting oil and sauce on his fingers.

Tweek: prefers to make his own pizza rather than order it from somewhere. insists that nowhere can get the topping distribution ratio correct like he can.

Clyde: believes there is no such thing as a bad pizza and tries to prove it by putting the weirdest combos he can find as toppings. claims sprinkles add a “je ne sais quoi” to anchovy pizza.

Tolkien: strong supporter of pineapple on pizza and will defend it when anyone complains. also thinks square pizza is a superior pizza shape.

Jimmy: STUFFED CRUST FIEND. usually just plain cheese stuffed crust is fine but he likes when there’s more options.

Gregory: he does not eat pizza, he eats flatbreads. but if he does eat pizza, it must be a traditional margherita/Naples-style.

Christophe: only ever eats day old pizza out of the fridge, cold. not many toppings taste good this way, so he usually gets just cheese. maybe sausage.

Wendy: can eat regular tomato sauce pizza but much prefers white/pesto sauce pizza. she’s desperately trying to convince others that it tastes much better.

Bebe: if it has mushrooms she will NOT fucking touch. even if you pick them off. goes wild sprinkling parmesan and red pepper flakes on top.

Nichole: mainly goes for pepperoni pizza— it’s a classic for a reason. also knows every delivery person by name since she orders pizza so often for ttrpg nights.

Heidi: tends to like all pizzas and toppings, but never eats the crust. she always offers it to the room or just throws it away.