#oh well part 2 anyone?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Some of my favourite Johnny looks...
(Ignore my tragic cropping skills)
#the smiths#johnny marr#80s fashion#i say 'some' because there are many more examples#trust me#johnny with eyeliner is everything#argh forgot the one with moz & johnny in each other's arms#oh well part 2 anyone?#and ofc sheila take a bow totp look#im obsessed with his hat#:)
32 notes
·
View notes
Note
So how’s ride kamens going for you as I just pulled my self together long enough to read the other half of the current main story
I've been working on catching up on the event stories since they announced the upcoming main story update! (I totally bombed the last few events...they're so fast-paced and I just didn't have time...😭)
and then of course they went and dropped THIS on us today
(you don't understand, I LOVE Tajador and I already love the two blurry frames they've given us of non-silhouetted Kelka, I'm ready to absolutely lose my shit come the announcement/reveal(?) stream on Thursday --)
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#october is officially NEW BOY MONTH#month of BOYS#i had suspected we were going to be getting some new guys eventually because. well. gacha.#but it's HAPPENING and oh my WHAT a strong start#me checking twitter and immediately turning into the beyonce meme: TAJADOR?!#hold on i'm contractually obligated to do the jingle#🎶 TAAAAAAJAAAAAAADOOOOORU 🎶#flashback to during the initial run of reveals when my sister was guessing ankh for every one because 'eventually it'll be right'#i can't believe it came true. i'm so happy#ugh i need to either grind out more seals for keys or see if anyone's uploaded the stories#i mean it's prooooobably not necessary to understand the main story but. i want to be fully prepared.#and i'm still a little salty about missing out on both birthday agata AND radical rollerbladin' araki#how dare they do this to me when i have DEADLINES >:(#...anyway get hype for part 2!!!!!#i hope we get powerup forms! just pile more stuff on top of these guys and watch them gently topple over#i still think leon should be allowed to henshin but. y'know. maybe as a big finale.#he will save us with the power of friendship and fresh-baked cookies
367 notes
·
View notes
Text
Based on somewhat real events
I spent way too much time drawing this...
But yeah, Ford finally saying thank you
A continuation (kinda)
#sometimes my skin smells too strongly and I hate it. I wanna crawl up and die. it's not that bad usually#only when I'm already overstimulated#there were 2 times where I was sick and I started crying and almost threw up because the smells were too strong#one time the smell of tge city. the other time it was roasted chicken. I still feel sick when I smell reheated chicken to this day#I'd love to have someone comfort me and rub my back in these moments but 1. I don't want anyone to touch me and#2. I feel like I don't deserve to be touched because it's an inconvenience to others#anyway enough about me. I am now projecting in these characters#I hate drawing their faces so much#gravity falls#stanford pines#ford pines#young stanford pines#stan pines#stanley pines#young stan pines#art#fanart#traditional art#comic#long post#watercolor#forgot to mention but I can't take a shower when the sun is still up except if I was swimming in a pool/sea. no specific reason I just can'#projecting to Ford because Stan would never feel like that :/ oh well#is this cringe? maybe. probably. do I care? no. not really#I'm self diagnosing myself with 'definitely something wrong but not further specified' because this can't be normal#btw sorry if this is disappointing. I tried my best (the first part is pretty neat imo)#wonder if anyone is gonna read all of these tags#is this the worst thing you've seen yet?#teen stan#teen ford
360 notes
·
View notes
Text
Babyls Demon School Staff
#m!ik#mairuma#mairimashita! iruma kun#welcome to demon school iruma kun#mairimashita iruma kun#Bars Robin#Dantalion Dali#Orias Oswell#Morax Momonoki#Raim#Ifrit Djinn Eito#Stolas Suzy#Murmur Tsumuru#Furcas#Marbas March#Ipos Ichou#Buer Blushenko#Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun#mairimashita! iruma-kun#didn't add kal bal o sulli bc I wanted to focus on not the main ones#also momonoki’s grandpa is missing but oh well#there’s gonna be a part 2 to this post with different icons and the rest so feel free to name anyone I missed#mairumanga
405 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thinking once again about the very weird emotional reaction I had (am still having) re: Timothee Chalamet's performance in Dune Part 2. Because I came out of that theatre legit a little scared of that guy, which is not something I ever thought I'd be able to say -- he's very much not an intimidating person in most people's minds and if you'd told me what Part 2 was like before I knew anything about Dune I wouldn't have been able to believe it. But he's so good, and I think part of the reason he works so well in this new phase of Paul's character especially is because of that audience perception of him as an actor, because you go into it thinking "this shouldn't work" and then it does work, and that weird dissonance makes it work even more in a meta way. Paul as a character also isn't supposed to seem like he could be this crazy warrior cult leader, and then he is and people within the narrative believe it and it feels within the narrative like it isn't supposed to work, yet somehow does. The fact that it Feels Wrong is perfect because it's supposed to.
#dune#dune part 2#timothée chalamet#paul atreides#no i will not hear anyone try to tell me he was miscast#and it's so weird bc paul in part 1 is kind of closer to the type of role audiences were used to seeing him in#so it felt more fitting#and then you get to part 2 and it's like. hm there's no way he'll be able to Do That. oh he's actually Doing It and doing it really well#in a terrifying way#and the fact that he CAN sell all that is ??? so unexpected which makes it work even more within the story#ghnnnnn I can't articulate this well but y'all know what i mean#also: i wish he got more recognition for how damn good he was in part 2???#tbh i feel like he was overshadowed by austin butler which i GET he was great and his role was super impactful esp. for its size#but it's a shame he had to come in right when timmy was giving the performance of his life lol
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
in my ideal mdzs modern au, meng yao dated qin su for maybe 6-8 months before taking a genetics test and finding out they have the same sperm donor. they immediately break it off and meng yao, terrified of how much his dad got around, decides that from here on out he is going to exclusively date men.
at least if he somehow ends up dating a male relative without his knowledge, there’s no chance of an incest pregnancy scare
#mdzs#jin guangyao#meng yao#qin su#xiyao#if you squint#in the modern era they break up bc 1 qin su was part of the genetics test process and couldn’t be kept in the dark#and 2 jgy has to resort to other methods to gain prestige in his dads company. advantageous marriage doesn’t help him much here#also to anyone thinking ‘well he could still manage a pregnancy acre with a trans man’ meng yao considered that!!#he will simply bottom#i think after this he had a series of messy hookups w xue yang#before they respectively met xxc and lxc started ghosting each other#in order to focus on pretending to be well adjusted individuals for their respective crushes#meng yao is successful in wooing lan xichen#but xue yang is unsuccessful#in fact he ends up in jail#sad#oh also to clarify in this au qin su actually was a sperm donor baby but meng yao was a good old fashion illegitimate child#jgs is such a dead beat tho that meng yao internally considers him a sperm donor either way
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dr. Abrahamsen examines several bizarre episodes in Nixon's early life
that he thinks foreshadowed later developments.
a serious, studious, sickly, unsmiling boy.
a boy who wanted desperately to achieve the respectability that had eluded his father.
In all of this, Dr. Abrahamsen finds a self‐destructive instinct
“Did Nixon wish to save himself?”
“The answer is simply no.”
#txt#american history#us presidents#richard nixon#web weave#not rlly#kind of#psychoanalysis#freud#hmmm#if anyone somehow understands what i mean by this thatd be cool#its mostly focusing on the my dear master letter (and the idea it was written as a letter to his mother and not a school project)#and 'my mother was a saint'#as well as the psychoanalysis in the article i quoted#and also what went into it in part is how hannah died before richard became prez...#if no one really understands or cares idm#i will post for myself always before anyone else#anyway this was really fun#ive spoent.#2 whole hours on it...#why cant i focus this well on my school work#oh well
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
so one character got to learn how to live again, how to reenter society after traumatizing event that will forever impact his life, got to heal and rebuild his relationship with his family even estranged father, reconnected with his old friends and was able to create reliable support system of people that also grew throughout this healing process and now can understand him more and be there for him, got to graduate and start his own business and now can even give inspirational speeches to help others
and the other one had to leave two closest people to him that were his only support after his family death bc 'friends' he had before weren't type of people worth reconnecting with, move out of his country abandoning everything he knew his whole life just to * checks notes * start a job he didn't really want and the main reason he needed higher pay was to establish financial stability for one of two people who he had to leave and that no longer wanted to be with him
okay yea okay sure both cases are about personal 'growth'
#last twilight#to clarify it's more about time skip and the talk at the end of part 2 bc yea ofc mhok also changed throughout whole series in general#the fact that 'growth' for mhok was equal to getting a job just doesn't sit well with me#his sister killed herself bc of their financial problems and then they put sole responsibility on him for providing for himself and day#and it felt like it was about more than just day's disability#like ironically his mechanic friend offered more support and understanding than most of the other characters#what kind of 'growth' is uprooting yourself and leaving everyone behind when you are still in vulnerable state and need someone to rely on#it would make sense in other story with other character but here it just hurts#i do have some other problems with the series as a whole but nothing that wasn't said already#everyone is angry at part 4 but end of part 2 was the breaking point for me#moving out for work is extremely lonely and alienating experience especially when it's not even to a country you particularly care about#what is the lesson here with mhok's plot line?#to completely isolate yourself to heal from your trauma somehow without anyone close to you?#and oh yea job being the most important thing for 'personal growth' actually?#in hotel in hawaii nonetheless...#i'm getting so tired of these series not being able to stick the landing fr
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
🗡 mad cowboy disease....
#‡ ooc#high noon tbt.#thinking of Them while walking to the shops... on my own little quest...#there may be typos but ignore them#listened through mars hn yone playlist i loved watching the 2 hr movie in my head#listening through my hn playlost now maybe ill make tals a spotofy thing too for easier listening....#got so many little scenes in my head#talon munching any lil bug/lizard critter they catch. whether they actually Need to eat is unspecified#but you know. probably. anyway thinking evilly at how i can describe their meals as either tantalising or DISGusting#talon being afraid of ending up an almalgam of feathers and sludge but ove talked abt that before#need to write more talon monologues or story times#reminiscing now. will add more later#talon trying their best to get through a Normal Human interaction on a bar or smth tryong to hide what they are and keep their hat low but-#and theres always a but- someone either catches a glimpse of theor face n compliments them or gets in theor way like 'hey-' or they catch#a glance at feathers or brimstone....#talon getting chased to be put in one of those carnie 'strange encounters' shows... they either do get caught or...#get rid of their would-be captors#time for more thoughts. i need to design talons demonic form and maybe even what their gradual corruption looked like 🤔#i also need to decide on a few factors abt how im treating their cape as tendrils instead... like if they naturally had 5 or lost one...#and how much control over individual segments they have#thinkin abt talon getting in trouble but not like. threat of death danger maybe a malevolent third party who wants them for something else#be it their blood or feathers or smth like that. maybe even after REDACTED and they get a bounty set by the sulfur king for REDACTED reason#to be brought back alive and hunters go after em......#oh. who can a demon slash half angel turn to in these trying times... 🥺😔 not that they want to rely on anyone#talon would rather die than rely on another creature for help. im kidding. :] or am i#thinking abt the thing i said to mars like. after their travels together talon tries to keep their distance from rell and yone but.#fate or something worse keeps bringing them back together. i said it better beforehand but anyway.#if its during this time of being hunted and they cross ways i can imagine talon not staying long at all or just turning 180 at the sight#part the fear the other two will join this hunt as well. the other part is that theyll be in danger if talon asks for help...#nor do they want to owe a debt to these two ough 😒
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
a lot of thoughts about silver twisted wonderland
Good morning it’s 3:45 am and dorm silver dropped after almost 3 years so here’s a full length post dedicated to him. not spoiler free
Quick Note: I remember when I first saw all the twst characters lined up and he honestly…didn't stick out much. i picked him as my first favorite anyways though because of zakki and hes been trapped in my brain ever since. Even though his background is still shrouded in ??wtfs i think exploring that is part of the fun of silver!! Personally, I really love him because a lot of his character beyond niceguy.jpg is rooted in subtext and it's super fun to delve into. so i can’t promise this is an unbiased analysis, but I hope you enjoy it anyways.
Translation Credits: @mysteryshoptls, @twstarchives, and TWST Miraheze’s Enharo translations
OVERVIEW
Silver, at a quick glance, seems like both the most normal and most bizarre character in Twst. In a sea of self-serving, scheming villains, he lacks the sort of insidiousness most of his peers are constantly displaying. From a player’s perspective, we know this is because he’s most likely based on Aurora; but other NRC students simply deign to see him as an oddball. From the Disney properties he’s twisted from to his own strange upbringing, Silver is a bit of a question mark to both us and the ingame characters. In this post I’m gonna try to dissect some underappreciated complexities of his character, and hopefully get you or whoever’s reading this to give him some love! haha hope this doesnt get too long
PART 1: INTRODUCTION
First off, Silver’s a pretty lowkey guy. Not in the way Jamil is (forced), or the way Trey is (less forced than Jamil but still forced), but moreso in a way that points to him being out of touch with himself and his own internal state. He doesn’t really…stick out in comparison to the more bombastic members of his dorm; at least not at first. A lot of his quirks are hidden behind his cool expression and appearance, and the gap between those two qualities leads to some funny gags in his interactions with others.
Part of Silver’s charm as a character comes from his super blunt way of speaking, especially when he starts to describe extremely weird situations that he deems are normal. Like in Endless Halloween, when he casually mentions that he’d used to fight bears to Jamil and Jack (who react as expected). He isn’t used to “regular” social conventions, and this is coupled with the fact that he doesn’t really think like a villain does. In Fairy Gala IF, Ace comments on his heroicness, wondering how they both attend the same school.
Essentially, there’s a significant divide between him and the people around him in both mindset and in lifestyle. Other students also view him as strange due to unchanging face. Some of his voicelines point this lack of expressiveness, like these:
“They say that silence is golden. But in my case I just don’t have anything worth talking about…” (Ceremonial Robes SR)
“I’m happy. ‘I don’t look like it’? Understood. Next time I’ll try harder.” (Groovy Voiceline)
His dorm SSR also places this aspect of his character front and center. In Part 1, he overhears his peers whispering about how expressionless and weird he is. One of the students even questions if Silver has feelings, which triggers Silver to try to “learn how to be more expressive” with Kalim and Jamil’s help. Thank god for Sebek, who plans to spar with him in the courtyard so Silver’s classmates can witness his true, extremely cool self. He reiterates that Silver shouldn’t care about their opinions and doesn’t need to change. I don’t think being as on display with one’s emotions as say, Kalim, is necessary for Silver to show growth; he doesn’t have to change who he is to please others. I also really really don’t think that him being less externally expressive is a fault. Sebek’s lines in Silver’s dorm uniform story make this very clear.
PART 2: SILVER IS A HUMAN
Still, an important part of his dorm uniform personal story is his reasoning behind wanting to change his expressions. He says he feels bad for burdening his classmates this way, and doesn’t want this issue to reflect poorly on Malleus. Silver’s dorm uniform story, as well as countless others (see: his PE card, where he only helps Vil after the former mentions Malleus), show off a key facet of Silver’s character. Of course no man is an island, but Silver only seems to exist in relation to Lilia and Malleus. His lack of self awareness can thus be linked to his constant drive to be useful to them. Silver only focuses on training and bettering himself in academics, physically, magically, etc in order to better serve others or avoid staining Malleus’s reputation; it’s all he can talk about. So much of his life is spent dedicated to his family that he’s frighteningly UNself-centered. And I know that his selflessness is part of the joke, but he really doesn’t seem to be thinking about himself at all, ever.
One way to read into Silver’s devotion is through the lens of his mortality. Like Sebek, I think Silver has some internal struggle surrounding his humanity. Unlike Sebek, I don’t think Silver is necessarily ashamed of his race or cognizant of this inner conflict; rather, the fact that he is human and is mortal influences his dynamics with the other three greatly. Something easy to overlook with all the gags about Silver falling asleep in random situaftions or playing with animals is that he is burdened with the knowledge he will die long before his loved ones. Lilia, Malleus, and potentially Sebek (not sure about his projected lifespan yet?) are all likely to outlive him and there’s nothing he can do about it. Unlike the others, his time is palpably finite.
This inner conflict manifests most obviously in his desperation to fix his sleeping issues. While it's in part just a dislike for it constantly disrupting his everyday life, any time spent unconscious is just another reminder of the limited time he has in comparison to his quasi-immortal loved ones. His character profile also marks his dislike as "being idle", which makes total sense when considered in relation to his mortality and not just in relation to his narcolepsy. in this short time he's been blessed with, he should devote his being to giving back to those who raised and cared for him, those who he lives for and who gave him the chance to live. Not a second should be wasted when he could be improving himself as a son, guard, student etc, and this fixation then feeds into his already lacking sense of introspection. While I don’t think he’s necessarily aware of this view of his own humanity (ie it doesn’t cross his mind in such a melancholic or existential way when he’s looking for a cure to his sleeping) I think it’s a key part of his character that explains a lot about his motivations and being.
But what makes the divide between human and fae lifespans even harder to navigate is the sheer difference in their experiences and values. Of course Lilia and Malleus care for Silver, but the difference in perspectives between a human and a centuries old fae is massive. An example of this is in the Endless Halloween event:
Silver: There’s no way I could doubt you, Fath…Da…Lilia! You both took this way too far!
Lilia & Malleus: Hm?
Silver: I understand that you and the ghosts just wanted us to have fun. But those who were taken over by the ghosts tried to fight us. All it would’ve taken was one mistake and someone could’ve gotten seriously injured. Are you saying that was a hint, as well?
Though Lilia and Malleus clear up the misunderstanding-the ghosts were supposed to tell everyone it was entertainment but were attacked before they could-Silver still shows his willingness to challenge them when he believes it necessary. I wouldn’t add this as an example because it is part of a misunderstanding, but Ace criticizes Malleus in his own SR Scary Dress personal story, citing that “normal students can’t compare”, so he should be more aware of how powerful he is.
Endless Halloween is in general a really great Silver event. Not only are we shown his willingness to stand up for what he believes is right, even against the people who make up his whole world, he’s forced to confront the question of his humanity in relation to them. In his SSR Scary Dress personal story, he acknowledges that he never thought they could part:
Silver: Lilia-senpai was always there for me, so I was never lonely.
Silver: Training with Sebek was always fun, and sometimes Malleus-sama would come and visit us in secret…
Silver: Somewhere in my heart, I had decided that that peaceful time would continue on forever.
Silver: …I had never even given it a thought that I could experience a parting.
That’s what makes part 1 of episode 7 is such an interesting set up in terms of character drama- as with the Endless Halloween kidnapping farce, the roles between son and father have been reversed. This time, though, it’s seemingly for real. Silver can’t picture outliving Lilia, or even just living apart from him forever because the first seemed biologically impossible and the other extremely unlikely, and now everyone is crying and Malleus is burning down NRC.
The Valley of Thorns is behind on the times. It’s a stagnant and slow to change, a point emphasized in almost all of its mentions, so I think the Diasomnia chapter will center on them coping with time, change, mortality, etc. I’m trying not to cross over into theory territory, but another possible route episode 7 could take is surrounding Silver’s origins. We see Lilia give him the ring from his original parents. What if he leaves to find them? I really really don’t think he will, but there is that threat of “Silver has ties to another place besides Diasomnia” which is another stake in how lonely Malleus, as the overblotter, is.
JUST TO REITERATE AGAIN BECAUSE I THINK IT’S IMPORTANT WHEN DISCUSSING SILVER LIKE THIS: I also don't think he's super self-aware yet considering his general lack of introspection, or at least doesn't think about it too often unless he's confronted with a change in the status quo (like in his Scary Monsters SSR). He’s very here-and-now minded. I’m not saying he’s secretly hiding some dark and sad secret side, just that his situation’s complexity extends beyond the falling-asleep-everywhere gags. Mortality and all that.
PART 3: I LOVE SILVER TWISTED WONDERLAND
But one thing that always makes me sad about Silver’s situation is wondering…is he lonely? It must be lonely right? Or does he throw so much of himself into others that he isn’t even aware if or when he is? So much of twst boils down to how loneliness absolutely destroys a person, and how understanding from others and human connection is incredibly necessary. Without it, people can turn into literal monsters, consumed by their pain and isolation. Like their leige, Silver and Sebek haven’t socialized with others much until NRC. But a big part of twst chapters is the dorm head/members of the respective dorm connecting with their classmates a little more, which is why I’m hopeful that Diasomnia will have a happy ending. The game is a Disney property after all.
And as Lilia says, human or not, Silver will always be his son. Sometimes a family can be two fae, a human baby, and their giant crocodile.
tldr; Silver is isolated in a lot of ways (human instead of fae, has morals unlike the other scrubs at NRC) and hyperfocuses on others instead of his own sake because of it; I think episode 7 will be about him and the rest of Diasomnia learning how to make connections with others while coping with time, change, and mortality.
#ok i don't think anyone will read this. but if u did thank u very much. i wanna spread my love for silver everywhere#hes more than just a pretty princess!!!! hes a complex pretty princess!!!!#the way his personality infact parallels how modern corporate feminist disney looks down on aurora/princesses from older movies#for supposedly lacking in personality#if i could add mulan symbolism to this doc i would#i also wanted to include sebesil parallels lol#oh well. those two can be separate posts#twst silver#twisted wonderland#twst meta#twisted wonderland analysis#twst analysis#twisted wonderland silver#diasomnia#mine#when ep 7 part 2 drops and i have to revise this lol
170 notes
·
View notes
Text
i can almost guarantee ive said it before but. he would thrive in a zero escape game
#an octopath ze au would be kinda fun actually.. especially the octo2 party#would love to see these guys in an escape room . it would be so awful#temenos would fit in perfectly and might even make a good mc given his 'truth lies in the flame' segments..#i could see partitio doing well bc of his creativity and general demeanor#osvald is great at math but idk how trusting hed be of everyone in this situation.. especially if they assume zero is one of them early on#throné . girlie im so sorry#i think shed do fine for the most part (hard to say how much her thieving skills would be of help here) but she did not deserve this </3#do not let ochette into any pantry or food storage room. i dont trust any of that food#i wonder if shed have her partner(s) here tho.. how do u handle an owl and/or jackal in this situation..#she would be great for morale tho#same for agnea tho i worry for her emotional state a lil bit . help her#who am i missing .. CASTTI#shes good at managing stress (both hers and others) in awful situations . thank god#and shes there if anyone gets hurt 👍#not that its likely outside of bad end situations ? tho i may be thinking of the 999 map too much..#would it be more fun to use that as the setting or something else altogether.. more modern or more like octopath 2..#how the fuck would someone even make an escape room in . what is it like the industrial revolution. steam era#would it make sense to be able to use magic in universe to pull off something similar..#the canonicity of some ingame mechanics is dubious so its hard to tell how malleable magics uses and effects are..#itd probably be easier to place everyone in a modern setting but i have no idea what some of them would be that way#.. modern fantasy setting ??????#what if they had smartphones in octopath. would that be fucked up or what#also who the hell would be zero . would anyone be in kahoots w zero.. or at least Know Things but be unable to say smth abt it#i straight up forgot to mention hikari earlier but hes prolly like. fine#his intrusive thpughts would probably Suck Bad here but hed want everyone to get out alive as much as everyone else combined#wait who would even be the 9th person. would it be zero. but who..#if it were octo1 id say kit but its harder to get a good octo2 equivalent of him.. hm..#oh god im out of tags . tho what would the game style be like.. nonary game ab game etc etc.. what would be unique but fitting..#am i gonna look into actual scientific theories for this . and how would the morphogenetic field come into play.. and Why..#octotag
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Great googley moogley it’s all going to shit! Every day becomes exponentially more terrifying!
And all perfectly timed to just right at the start of what’s supposed to be my adult life where I get my shit together and be useful and productive!
#we’re cooked#we’re doomed#idk the end is nigh or whatever god damn#I just wanna be able to live in my own house and draw a guy sometimes without the ever present threat of the horrors is that too much#apparently yeah cause houses aren’t achievable anymore but man#m a n#especially if you didn’t/couldn’t go to college and aren’t capable of working most jobs#doesn’t help there’s the chance some part of my existence might be suddenly illegal or extremely dangerous yippie!#the options are literally 1. people die 2. people die what the hell do you even do man#how the fuck is this the election I’m gonna get forced to be a part of we’re living in hell#and nobody around me believes it’ll get bad yay great oh so wonderful#I can’t wait to lose rights and cause millions of deaths regardless of who gets chosen#I think one of these days I’m literally just gonna die of stress#it’ll either be a stroke or a heart attack or cancer or uh well ya know#we’re fucked#we’re screwed#I wanna have some kind of an actually visible break down but ive suppressed everything so much that I don’t outwardly emote much anymore :)#and the constantly dissociating thing too I guess#if you ever think ‘oh yeah I can just think of guy in a situation that’s so cool’ don’t it’s a trap—#although tbh this would be significantly worse without it so uh law of equivalent exchange I guess#fuck fuck fuck anyway#not putting this in the main tags#definitely deleting this later#if anyone in my house got any hints that I may or may not have different opinions than them well uh I’m financially dependent on them so um#literally wouldn’t have anywhere to go if anything happened#oh we’re really in it now Simon#hell world#there’s like what 7 genocides going on too I hate everything I hate everything I hate everything#I can’t do anything to help anyone either cause I don’t have a job and I could get kicked out or treated badly at home for it#not that anyone thinks very highly of me at home anyway I am kinda family disappointment number 2 I pretty sure
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
the world really has favourites and I'm so not one of them I'm like the sad clown not even the court jester at least they're funny
#everyone of my coworkers (aka basically my only friends in this city don't judge) is so so practically married#that even when one of them breaks up with her bf she immediately clicks with someone and start dating like 3 months after#and the worst part is i can't even be like oh she just looked for whatever random guy because she doesn't like being single#because she in fact does fit very well with this guy who i know because he's literally 1 of the 2 guys our age in the ENTIRE office#(and not gay)#so like#@ universe am i a joke to you what is going on here#not that i wanted to date this guy that's not the point the point is I haven't clicked with anyone in my entire existence#erola.txt
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
it’s not that it makes me sad per se but i really could’ve been dating someone i did actually kind of really want to date since JULY. and now the moment is literally so far gone and i didn’t realise until the moment was so far gone !!!
#like it actually doesnt make me sad because there wouldve been major complications Had we dated#and the person who i trust most in this world has told me theyre glad it didnt happen#and i think in the long run he’s not the First person i should date anyway like in an ideal world we’d date like. 2-3 years on from now when#i’d been in at least one relationship to work out how i operate in a relationship#but it’s also like i wish i had known that the opportunity was there and i wish i had taken it#and part of me goes well maybe in 2-3 years it COULD happen#but i think that does a disservice to the person he’s dating now like . i do hope they’re happy and it goes well for the both of them#AND ALSO ITS WEIRD AS FUCK TO BE LIKE OH WELL MAYBE IN A FEW YEARS ILL DATE THIS PERSON *AFTER* another person??????#like bitch who do you think u are that you’ll have managed to date ANYONE in that time and also why the fuck would u date someone without#hoping it would last????????#but thoughts ≠ action nor are they inherently moralistic#but also that’s a weird way 2 think about relationships#it’d be funny if it happened though#idk i just think that if the timing was different he and i could have so much fun dating like genuinely i think it’d be a really good time#but it’s really weird because i’m not pining away after him or anything like ik it sounds like i am#but it’s not like that it’s more just that it’s opened up all these thoughts that i hadn’t really thought possible before ?#and they’re not possible NOW bc he’s dating someone else so i’m in exactly the same position but idk#i think i’m getting too settled. i’m TOO SETTLED.#because it’s literally not normal to think oh maybe in three years we could date and it’d be better timing for both of us ???????????#unhinged behaviour. what the fuck is that.#it’d be fucking hilarious if it happened tho
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Oh my god one last thing my ex took me to outside lands and when we tried to watch lana del rey he laid down on the grass and had a “panic attack” (this was after months of him talking about how he didn’t like her) so we went to see foo fighters after a bit and he was FINE
#LANA i know his sister works for you BUT TRUST MY WORD AND GIVE ME A FREE TICKET PLEASE…#MY FIRST TIME SEEING YOU WAS RUINED GIRL… she was so good too like i was saving her songs to spotify that night#im reliving all this because i found out a lot of his exes and ex friends hang out together and two of them invited me so it was me an ex an#d an ex friend just swapping stories and first of all. he said he got cheated on by this girl and she NEVER DID IT (HE would have emotional/#angry outbursts at HER though) (allegedly he’s acknowledged to her that the cheating never happened too) and 2. this is obviously making me#mentally rehash everything again. i feel so bad for his current girlfriend and also for the person i ‘’stole’’ him from though i really hesi#tate to blame myself after hearing about his patterns. first of all he wouldve done this with anyone who was vulnerable around him and secon#d i was the only reason he was at all honest with them. he was fully planning to gaslight this ex and me and his dad had to convince him not#to. they look like theyre happy now and im very happy for them over that. oh my god that man was evil he told me for WEEKS about every time#his then partner had talked shit about me while i made clear that i didnt care and wasnt very interested but he kept going. god i cant belie#ve this was my life a year ago.#the one thing i can say is that i out freaked him because throughout our short relationship i made him so insecure that a week after i told#to never speak to me again he called me asking if he really was ugly.#I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAD TO TEND TO A GROWN MAN WHILE LANA DEL REY WAS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE HE WAS SO OPPOSED TO BEING AROUND HER. LANAAAA#times like these i get so mad i dont know what to do but ultimately remembering that he has not achieved any of his goals because he refuses#to face himself really helps me. god man IVE achieved some of his goals and i wasnt even trying to#a really awful part of all of this was all of the friends who knew him taking his side. because they didnt know him well enough to know what#he was actually like.#i was talking to my ex friend of four years and she was like not to blame you but he was probably really vulnerable from his time with [ex p#rior to me]’’ because he’s been going around alleging that that ex was abusive. and she was implying i took advantage of him. so i had to go#into detail about what an awful awful person he was and the sort of state i was in when this relationship took place. hannah lee you are#not seeing your little jehovah’s witness heaven.#anyways redirecting this energy im very happy with the way my life is and the way i am now. and im grateful for it i would not have ever bee#n able to imagine having the sort of peace and motivation i feel now. life feels like it can and will change for the better and it keeps pro#ving that right all the time#it just hurts sometimes having that as my first experience and not even being able to vocalize what was wrong bc i just didnt know hurts#oh i forgot one of his besties can see my account bc we’re sort of mutuals. i doubt he’s looking he did the whole unfollowing the ex bc she’#s allegedly amoral thing after the breakup but if he is hi isaac#he did on rare occasion show me selfless kindness but ultimately your best friend is a creep. i don’t want to be involved with anyone from#our school but I hope you know this and I hope you’re proud
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
twirls hair thinking about adaline rozovy and his doomed struggle to live despite really not having a choice in the matter. you will forever be remembered as the weapon of light, hated by your comrades and mourned by your friends. your memory is stained in blood. there are more men you have killed than who you have saved. the world cries for your survival. you are loved.
#.text#adaline rozovy#just thinking about how alisaie has mentioned so many times that she hates heroic sacrifices. she hates it.#alisaie watches the very moment pass where addie decides it is her life for theirs. and they never see her alive again.#and alisaie will never forgive her for this.#never has there been a weapon more loved than she.#which is why alisaie wouldnt be able to hear her name after without feeling so. so angry.#i dont think her grief particularly manifests as anger but in this case.#in the case where she thinks there could have been another way. it is anger. a very sad anger. a very violent one.#i can really only imagine she comes back from the edge of the universe. addie's on her deathbed. and the only thing she can#really do is try not to take her anger out on anyone else. but she cant help it.#i can see it. alphinaud tentatively brings up addie in conversation and alisaie has to hiss at him. dont. dont speak her name.#and if you do as she did i will never forgive you either.#i can imagine its the same with thancred as well. for multiple reasons.#but that idiots guilt complex is so high hes gonna think its his fault. heavensward thancred part 2. electric boogaloo#didnt even think abt how krile probably has so much guilt about that either.... her and addie were close. trauma buddies.#and she is the one who guided zenos to him. she was the one who killed him. probably doesnt sit well in her brain#and tataru. maybe if her armor was just a little stronger. just a little better. then adaline would have ...#oh my god. addie. scions. normal.#normal moments.#she isnt even died shes just suffering elsewhere. hashtag. faking her death (accidentally)
3 notes
·
View notes