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fratboykate · 2 years

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How does Tom handle Kate being pregnant because I figure the answer is, uhm, not well 🙃 Especially as she gets more and more pregnant and he can't deny it in his mind anymore

---

I can only imagine how much of his shit Tom loses when Kate announces she and Yelena are having a baby. I feel like he shows up piss poor drunk at there place. And of course he’s got some choice words for Yelena who’s just trynna be cool. Wonder if Kate ever heard him talking about his shit and she just casually slips in “Yeah, she’s the best I’ve ever had.” To get him to shut the fuck up

///

Okay so I got a lot of variations of these two asks. You guys are always asking for "Part 2" but this is...a prequel lol. This is two weeks before Ri's 9th birthday party which you got some time last week. I think it gives a little context for where everyone was at mentally at that party and what set some things in motion. Anyway...here is 5.1k of...“How A Bitter Ex Ruins A Baby Shower”...bookended with fluff because I’m my 2023 resolution is to be nicer to you lol It’s definitely like a 2:1 ration of fluff to angst because...again...look at me being nice.

---

Yelena feels Kate's lips gliding up her shoulder past her neck and land on her earlobe. When they reach their destination, Kate’s teeth barely graze the skin before she pulls with a soft, playful bite and whispers.

"Your alarm started ringing twelve minutes ago. It was really getting on my nerves, so I turned it off. Wake up. We have so much to do today. We NEED to be ready and out the door by 9:30." Yelena grins into her pillow but refuses to open her eyes. "I know you're awake...No? Shame because Ri is somehow still asleep and these hormones have my sex drive through the roof. Woke up drenched. But I guess no one’s around to help me take care of the problem." Kate flips onto her back. And she waits. "No one? Not one person around?" Yelena finally peeks over her shoulder and back at her wife with sleepy eyes and a devilish smile. "Took you long enough. I'm so horny and I think she has MAYBE fifteen more minutes of sleep left in her, so we gotta be quick." Yelena's smile grows, but she doesn't move. "What?! What are you looking at?! Since when does my wife turn down ANY opportunity for sex? I'm handing it willingly. Don't even have underwear on. Zero obstacles in your way."

Yelena cackles while rolling over and using her elbow to hover over her wife.

"I got my period last night."

"Yeah, well..." Kate throws the cover off herself, revealing her taut eight-month pregnant belly. "...I clearly didn't. You can do me. Besides, you know I don't care. Wouldn't be the first time we've been there, done that."

Yelena sleepily chuckles anew and bends down to dotingly kiss the brunette.

"I feel like shit, love. Truly like someone ran me over. Can I get a rain check? I can get you something from the closet. To...help with “the problem”. Can't have my wife walking around unsatisfied. More than happy to watch. Would make my morning, actually."

Kate pouts and pulls Yelena down to her, forcing the blonde to nuzzle into her neck.

"No. I wanted you. Boooooooo."

"I'm sorry."

"You definitely owe me."

"You can cash in anytime I don't feel like my insides are being torn with shears."

"Did you take anything?"

"Yeah. Cramps kept me up half the night. I took something like three hours ago but hasn’t really helped."

Kate lifts Yelena's head to survey her face.

"Why didn't you wake me up?!"

"What the hell would I do that for?"

"So I could keep you company? Rub your tummy?"

"I'm not eight, baby. That works on Ri, not me."

"You don't know that."

Yelena smiles and lies back on Kate's chest. In response, Kate envelops her in an intimate embrace, pulling her in as close and tight to her body as she can muster. Yelena rests her hand on Kate’s exposed belly and caresses it. The baby promptly responds to the touch, stretching out, leaving the little imprint of a limb poking through the strained skin. Yelena drags her fingers over and ghosts her digits over the same spot.

"So close," Yelena mutters while Kate runs her fingertips through the slept-on, blonde braid trying to break it loose.

"I know."

"Five weeks...Feels like forever but not enough at the same time...Are you as scared as I am?"

"Terrified." They both laugh. "You wanna know what makes me feel better?" Yelena 'hmmms' and tilts her head to make eye contact with Kate. "Getting to hold a tiny thing with your face." Kate traces the contour of Yelena's face with the tip of her index finger. "And your nose." Then the bridge of her nose. "And your lips." Then the outline of her lips. "And your eyes. I can't wait. Terrified but so excited."

They opted to use Yelena's egg for the pregnancy Kate is carrying. It's how they both get to be a part of the baby's gestation. If they ever decide to have a second child, Yelena will carry a baby conceived with Kate's egg and sperm from the same donor they used for this baby. That is their way of ensuring their children are blood-related. Not that it would have mattered to them at all if they were or not. But it was a small thing they thought made it extra special.

"But you have...Ri. You say we look the same all the time."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah."

A piercing clanking coming from the kitchen abruptly rumbles through the house. Eight-year-old Ereka is awake and on the prowl.

"Hurricane Ereka. Category 5. Alert!" Yelena jokes.

"One of us has to go make sure she isn't burning the place down."

"Uhum."

Neither of them moves.

"Yel..."

Yelena whines.

"I'm comfortable for the first time in hours! We invested in a top-of-the-line fire system for a reason. Something would be beeping or shrieking by now if she was setting something on fire."

"Is that what we're doing? Delegating childcare to AI or whatever that thing is?"

"It cost thirty grand! The least it could do is watch our kid for half an hour while I nap on your limited edition, extra comfy boobs for a bit."

The distinct crack of something large and fragile shattering and exploding into a million pieces in the distance forces an involuntary sigh out of Kate.

"THAT ONE DEFINITELY BROKE!"

They hear the almost nine-year-old Ereka holler from the kitchen, already tinting her voice with shades of ignorance as to what could have possibly happened.

"DO NOT MOVE AN INCH! MOMMA'S COMING!"

Kate shouts in response while pushing Yelena off her and the bed.

"Why am I the mom on duty?!"

"Because you’re the mom with pants on. There’s glass everywhere, she can’t stay still for more than three seconds, and I’m now moving at the speed of molasses." Yelena grunts and begrudgingly heads for the door. "Oh, and babe, you should look into getting a refund on those thirty grand. That thing is a terrible nanny."

Yelena playfully flips her wife off on her way out the door.

"Ri, what the frick are you doing in the kitchen by yourself?!" Yelena admonishes the girl as she runs to her.

Kate can vividly envision the guiltless, ostensibly angelic face Ereka will be making when Yelena walks into the kitchen. Kate is also well aware that “wasn’t me” face will be Ereka's "get out of jail" card even though she is quite literally standing at the crime scene. Yelena is putty in that child’s hands, Ereka knows this, and sometimes takes advantage of that knowledge to walk away scot-free if Yelena is the one supposed to be dishing out consequences to actions.

---

Kate became fixated on the idea that she wanted her baby shower on a rooftop, by a pool, with a picturesque city skyline view. The three things individually? Perfectly doable. Together? IN NEW YORK CITY? IN LATE AUGUST?! Damn near impossible. Not happening.

Thankfully for Kate, she has a filthy rich mother, an unwavering wife, and a Type A elite event planner for the stars hired by the aforementioned women. The event planner is there to make each and every one of Kate’s obstinate, affluent, hormonal girl fantasies come true. Truthfully, she’s also there so Yelena and Eleanor can survive this with their sanity intact and that doesn't have a price tag. The family has two large social events essentially back to back this month, and if they can get someone else to handle Kate and her needs related to those things, everyone will be better for it. So hire an event planner they did and off Kate went...

One of Eleanor's friends knows someone who knows someone who could make the call to give them the okay to shut down the hotel’s rooftop pool Kate fell in love with for a day. Eleanor wrote a blank check and threw caution to the wind. Susan has made it clear she is never having children and Kate has been exceedingly vocal that this was it for her, so if Eleanor is only paying for one baby shower in her life, it will be a grand ol' time.

The theme Kate went with for the event is a “classy summer tea party”. The tables are set with authentic vintage British china and silverware. A tea sommelier makes personal recommendations on which tea to choose from the endless assortment of top-shelf global teas and then brews cups for each guest. Silver cake stands overflow with scones, sandwiches, mini cakes, patisseries, and jams from the best pastry chefs in the city. The kaleidoscopic flower and balloon arrangements put most weddings to shame. The women are expected to wear floral dresses and fancy hats to match the theme.

While the official baby shower only runs from 11-2PM, they've closed down the entire rooftop and pool area until 8PM. Whoever wants to stay and hang out, swim, have drinks, or watch the sunset over dinner is more than welcome to do so. Male friends and partners are also invited to swing by in the afternoon.

Unlike most traditional showers, this venue has no pink or blue in sight. Kate and Yelena decided not to find out the gender of the baby. At least, that's what they’ve told everyone. No one, not a soul, knows that they know. It’s been easier that way.

Since Ereka could form sentences, she's been asking for a little sister. It's been incessant, well beyond the point of evolving into a full-fledged nuisance. When they decided to start trying, they kept it from the little girl. IVF can be a long, arduous process and adding her to the mix was merely going to complicate an already physically and emotionally draining circumstance further. It’s why they decided to keep her in the dark. Kate and Yelena went through a few failed rounds, then...success. When Kate is far enough along that they feel it prudent to share the big news, when they tell Ereka she’s finally going to be a big sister, Kate and Yelena don't think they've ever seen that child any happier. She hasn't come down from cloud eleven since. Ereka talks about her little sister to anyone who will listen. Problem is...Ereka's “little sister” is actually...a little brother. The ultrasound tech saw that penis clear as day on Kate's fourteen-week ultrasound and they've triple-checked on every appointment ever since. At this point, it'd be an act of god if that baby wasn't born with a penis because they've looked at it from every angle at Kate and Yelena's behest and it’s always there.

Kate and Yelena have more or less been living in modest denial and trying to will the willy away, as they strongly feel that extra and unexpected bit of anatomy will not go down well with their daughter. It's more than a strong feeling. They know that with certainty and are endeavoring to put off sharing the information for as long as possible. None of this means they're being irresponsible about their approach. As the birth becomes imminent and the truth harder to conceal, they've begun consulting a family therapist to gradually help them lay the groundwork for when the baby comes and they ultimately have to detonate this bomb on the unsuspecting and eager eight-year-old.

---

The Bishop-Belova trio exit the elevator on the top floor of the ostentatious five-star Brooklyn hotel negligibly late at 11:13AM. Depending on which of them you ask, they'll each blame someone different for the tardiness.

Kate wears a yellow fitted dress with thin straps, a crossover cutout detail that gives a baby bump peek, and a v-neckline that Yelena is quite fond of. This outfit is not at all a “classy tea party” look, but at the very last minute, Kate isn’t feeling the dress she bought for the party and decides she needs to change. If you ask Yelena, this is the reason why they’re late.

When Kate tells Yelena she has to choose a yellow statement piece since that's what she and Ereka are doing, Yelena agrees. Easy enough. Yelena initially wears a light yellow button-down with a navy suit and yellow pocket square. Yelena likes the look. It’s a solid look. She thinks she might even look rather attractive in it. Kate, not so much. Kate flips and makes her wife change the suit because "Blue is for boy. You're being too obvious." and Yelena has to change. That's how Yelena lands on her current very bland and gender-neutral combination of: yellow shirt, a tan blazer, and khakis. If you ask Kate, Yelena having to change is the reason why they’re late.

Before they step into the madness of greeting, mixing, and mingling, Kate knows she needs a quiet moment with Yelena. She taps Ereka’s shoulder blade and jostles her towards the doors that lead to the roof and pool.

“Go find grandma and Suzu. We’ll be right there.”

They watch her go and once the girl has disappeared past the glass doors, Kate pulls her wife into one of the indoor private cabanas behind them and quickly pecks her lips, then runs her thumb over them to wipe her lipstick off.

"The main thing is only three hours, then most people you have murderous fantasies about are going to leave and the people you can somewhat tolerate will stay. You like Greer.”

“Greer’s fine. She’s funny. Sometimes.”

“Exactly. So I made sure you’re sitting next to her. It’s a few silly games, pictures, jokes, ha ha ha, people, joy. All so unfamiliar and very terrible. I know. But you're not going to die. You'll make it. I promise. I love you more than life. Just roll with it. They're not laughing at you; they're laughing with you."

"I'm only here for you."

Kate kisses Yelena once more and speaks against her lips.

"I know."

"No, I'm not saying it to guilt trip you or something. I'm just saying I wouldn't do this shit for anyone else. That's how much I love you."

"I know. I know. You're a grouch, but you're my grouch." Yelena grunts and rolls her eyes. "I truly do love that you’re a ‘get off my lawn’ eighty-year-old man trapped in this young body." Kate cops a feel of Yelena’s ass and squeezes it. "Big fan of the сексуальный русский [sexy Russian] body."

"I should’ve never taught you how to say that."

"I did insist.”

"You did...And I’m not THAT big of a grouchy old man."

"Baby...you LITERALLY chased kids off our lawn the other day. Literally."

"That thing they were playing with was ripping the grass out! I still have to talk to Javier and see if it’s okay or if we’re going to have to mow the whole thing down and wait for it to regrow evenly.”

"Okay, Grandpa Cyrus. I think it’s time for your meds."

"Weren’t you just trying to grope Grandpa Cyrus?"

"Listen, Grandpa, you’re very hot and I’m very horny. You have no idea. I don’t know how you have clothes on right now. I could be tearing them off with my teeth."

Yelena hangs her head back laughing.

"That’s not tea party behavior, love."

"I’m well aware. Part of the reason why you’re not naked right now.”

"Let's get it over with then. Sooner you get me home, sooner you can take my clothes off."

Yelena places her hand on the small of Kate's back, and gently nudges her, guiding her to the door.

"That's the spirit! We'll get you a drink first because I'm a good wife. I'd never make you do this sober. I know who I married."

Guests are already milling about and cheer for them when they make their grand, if ever so slightly shameful, delayed entrance.

---

About an hour and a half later, the function is in full swing. So far, they've managed to play the infamous blind diaper changing game, “Songs With Baby In The Title”, and "How Old Was She?" featuring the most embarrassing photos of Kate and Yelena that Eleanor and Alexei could dredge up.

They're currently in the midst of "You're Craving WHAT?!". Kate's cravings have been LUDICROUS this pregnancy. Yelena figured that if she has had to put up with them, it is only fair for everyone else to do so too. Guests get blindfolded and sample some of the things Kate's been willingly putting in her mouth, then try to guess what's in them. This is the only game that didn't make Yelena’s body fill with dread when she thought about this day the last few weeks, perhaps because she came up with it. She may be a baby shower game genius because, unlike the previous ones, this one hasn't brought her to the edge of suicide even once in the last fifteen minutes. Hard to admit, but...she could conceivably be having a good time.

"KATE, WHAT IS THIS?!" Kate’s blindfolded friend inquires while toiling to chew the sickening blend currently destroying her taste buds.

"Cottage cheese, clementines, spicy ahi tuna, and chocolate milk," Yelena reveals with a delighted grin.

Kate's work friend gags violently and spits the mush onto a napkin.

"My mouth is watering. Hand it over. So good." Kate extends her hand and the cup with the foul concoction starts to make its way down to her.

"That baby is coming out and first thing it's going to do is ask you to say sorry, Kate. The hell...I'm finding out things about you I didn't want to know. What do you mean you've been making my niece eat pulled pork with frosting and alfredo sauce?! That's jail time!" Greer chimes in and the table roars with laughter.

"KitKat, you look so beautiful."

"DADDY!"

The guests turn to find the source of the voice coming from behind them. Before Kate can hold her, Yelena is already on her feet and stamping toward a visibly intoxicated Tom.

Kate exchanges a furtive glance with Susan, who understands and takes firm hold of Ereka, preventing the girl from going after them.

"Dude..."

The distance between where Yelena sat and Tom stands isn’t inconsiderable, yet she reaches him in what seems like a blink. Once she’s in front of him, she continuously rams her open palms across his chest until she’s thrust his body inside, away from everyone.

"Do you have mental problems? Is that the issue here? Do we need to have you committed?"

Kate finally reaches them and jerks Yelena away from Tom. Kate glares at Tom and points at the side door that leads to a small adjacent room filled with a few tables and loungers.

"Go over there." When he starts walking, Kate turns her attention back to her wife. “Let me handle it.”

“You always ‘handle it’ and we still have the issue.”

“I’ll handle it.”

After a beat, Yelena attempts to force herself past Kate. Kate drives her back.

“I’m going over there.”

“If you go over there, I’m afraid you’ll kill him.”

“Exactly. Problem solved forever.”

Kate doesn't even dignify that with a response. She simply steps away and walks to where Tom waits, leaving the door ajar.

“No.”

“KitKat.”

“No.”

“CupKate.”

“No. We’re not doing this today.”

“KaterTot.”

“I probably always hated that one the most. You have to go home.”

“I don’t even care that it’s another man’s baby...”

That incenses Kate.

“It’s not ‘some other man’s baby’! It’s Yelena’s baby!”

“...I’ll raise it...Oh come on! We both know that’s not true!”

“There’s more to being a parent than DNA.”

“Spare me the gay agenda bullshit. There’s a mom and there’s a dad. That’s how babies are made. THAT is some random guy’s baby...” Tom softens up again. “...and I’m totally fine raising it. I want to! I don’t even care! It can be the four of us.”

“I’ve fucking had it with you. I’ve had it. How did you even find out where we were?...Did you text Ri?!...Leave her out of this. Leave her out of it. There’s no reason she should be mixed up in this.”

“I think she should have a say in whether she wants mommy and daddy to be together.”

Kate closes her eyes and takes a centering breath. She refuses to allow herself to lose her cool on this man. Not for his sake, but because she knows if she does, she’s going to go ballistic and it wouldn’t be healthy for her baby.

“Kids don’t get a say in adult matters. Especially not on ones that aren’t a fucking possibility, Thomas.”

Kate expresses with as much composure as she can summon.

“They could be IF YOU STOPPED BEING SO FUCKING STUBBORN AND STUPID!”

Tom leans in to scream in Kate’s face. Yelena's been watching through the door crack and he got much too close to Kate for Yelena's comfort. She’s done waiting. Yelena stomps over, bursts through with such force that the door ricochets off the wall, and grabs Tom by the arm without saying a word, dragging him behind her.

“Yel...Yelena.”

“Let me fucking go.”

Tom fights back, but Yelena’s grip on his arm is iron tight. She continues to wordlessly drag him to the elevator with Kate hot on their tail.

“Yelena, I was handling it.”

Tom aggressively shoves Yelena trying to get her to loosen her grip and that’s her tipping point. That’s her last straw. Her martial arts training kicks in and she swipes his legs, sending him to the floor with a thud. He whines pathetically on impact.

“Give me one good reason for why I shouldn’t beat your ass right now. Just one. Because I can come up with plenty for why I should.”

Kate pulls Yelena back away from him and glares at her.

“Stop! Stop it.” Kate turns to Tom. "Please leave. Please. Please. PLEASE. I don't want you here. We can talk some other day. Please. We’ll talk. Just go."

"Okay, KitKat." Tom gets on his feet and walks over to Kate. Yelena steps between them and they have a staredown but being much taller allows him to lean above her and place a wet kiss on Kate's cheek regardless. "We can talk another day."

He calmly heads for the elevator and his eyes don't leave Kate and her body until the elevator arrives and he steps on it.

"'We can talk some other day'?! THAT'S THE SHIT THAT FUCKING FEEDS HIS DELUSION, KATE? WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"Is he gone or not?"

Kate flings back coldly.

"Until you let me and him beat the shit out of each other, I feel like we'll have a problem. I'm a jiu-jitsu brown belt. Why do you think I can't take him?"

Kate steps up to Yelena, directly to her face. At least as close as her pregnant stomach will allow her to get.

"I don't give A FUCK if you can give him a black eye or break his arm or not. I'm sure you could. That's irrelevant. You are a licensed attorney. You catch a charge, we have a problem. A big problem. You think he doesn't know that? You think he wouldn't LOVE that? He works with his family. He can be angry, and obsessed, and delusional, and slowly become an alcoholic all he wants. He's never getting fired. His last name is on the business cards, on the trucks, on the warehouses. What are you not getting?"

"Then let me talk to my dad. He'll make some calls. It'll actually be handled."

Yelena shrugs, nonplussed. Kate backs away, head shaking with incredulity.

"For the sake of our marriage, I'm gonna pretend you didn't just threaten to have Alexei’s crazy Russian mafia buddies kill my daughter's father."

"I didn't say kill. Never said kill."

"Please stop talking."

Kate bites back curtly. Yelena becomes irate.

"Then what do you want me to fucking do?! What do you want me to do? Because I can't keep standing by while he treats you like shit, treats her like shit, and makes our lives fucking miserable. You ask me to let you ‘handle it’, but nothing ever changes. You won't let me beat the shit out of him and you won't let me get guys who will, so what do you want me to do? Tell me because I don't fucking know what to do anymore, Kate." Yelena's shoulders sag and in an instant, she shifts from livid to defeated. "I don't know what to do, but I can't keep living like this. I don't want to...I don't want him to have to."

Kate approaches, holds Yelena's hand, and places it on her belly.

"I don't want that either...but..."

"Fuck, Kate. What? What is it? What excuse is it now?"

"The next few weeks are gonna be so crazy. Baby's coming soon. I want this to be about us. I don't wanna do anything that's going to send Tom into a spiral or do something crazy. Her party is in two weeks..."

Yelena cuts her off.

"Has he told you if he's coming or not?"

"No. And if he does..."

"I don't want him there."

"...IF HE DOES...I need you to be the bigger person. For her. That's her day. Not a day for you two to have a pissing contest."

"Why can’t you tell him not to come?"

"He's her dad and it's her birthday, Yel."

"So what?! If he makes our lives fucking hell...so what? When does it stop? When do we say enough?!"

"He's never gonna hurt anyone. He's...sad. That’s it."

"It's been YEARS. What the hell does he still have to be sad about? Go to fucking therapy and stop making it our problem...I can't listen to this again."

Yelena walks out.

"Yelena."

---

Kate steps out from the room to find Yelena hovering by the elevators, pressing the buttons furiously as if that'll make them go faster.

"What are you doing?"

"I feel awful, Kate. Cramps are fucking killing me. I just want to curl up and lie down."

"Please don't make me go back out there by myself."

"I feel like actual dirt and I would very much like to go home." Kate stares at her, silently pleading. "You know I won't be able to say 'no' if you ask me again. Please don't ask me because I want to leave."

DING! The elevator arrived.

"I won't ask, but I don't want you to go."

Kate utters shakily, barely above a whisper, tears threatening to fall. Yelena closes her eyes and locks her jaw. She grunts as the elevator doors start to move toward each other and rests her head against the cold metal of the door jamb once it’s fully closed and on its way back down.

"I feel like shit."

"I'm sorry. You can go. My mom and Suze are here. All my friends are here. It’s fine. Call it back up. You don’t have to stay."

Kate walks to her wife and hugs her sideways, pressing a kiss to her temple, and whispering into her ear.

"Go home. I love you."

Yelena shakes her head.

"It's fine. It's your day. It's baby boy's day. I can suck it up."

"Not true. It's your day too. We're a team."

"Doesn't feel like it sometimes."

Kate holds Yelena tighter.

"I meant it when I said ‘not right now’. It doesn't mean forever. Baby could come tomorrow or six weeks from now and I don't want chaos in the background whenever it happens. But..." Kate leans back to look at Yelena. "...as soon as we settle once he's here, let's get a lawyer. Tom loves to threaten with them all the time. Let's finally do it. We have witnesses. We have proof. We have nothing to lose. But I need you to give me a few months. I need these weeks to be about the three of us. Shut Tom out. He doesn't matter. We matter. Baby Russ matters. Okay? Give me thirty more minutes and then we can go home. Yeah? Deal?"

"Kate, you had them shut down this whole thing until eight. You can't go home at..." Yelena looks at her watch. "...one thirty. That's insane. It probably cost your mom like ten years worth of college tuition funds to do this."

Kate chuckles.

"She refuses to tell me."

"We're not going home. It's fine. I'll live."

"If you wanna leave, I won't stop you. But please don’t sneak out. At least tell me beforehand this time. I hate when you do that."

"Sure. Whatever. I'm fineeeee. Let's go." Yelena nudges Kate and they start walking, arm in arm, back to the outdoor area while talking. "It's our party. I don’t need to sneak out of my own party. I just need a drink. By now, people either think we died or are having the craziest sex somewhere."

"I'm not opposed to..."

"Not happening, Kate Bishop."

"That's me getting shut down for sex three times in one day. In case you're keeping track of the ones you owe me."

"I always pay my debts."

"I'm expecting you to."

The party faces are back on when they become visible to the guests through the glass doors. Isn’t all of life a performance anyway?

#I sandwiched our man Tom between fluff so you cant even complain #im being too nice to you lately #you once again walk away with a pain free ending #who am i becoming #what has 2023 done to me #who is this person #i dont like it #kymau #kymaup #anonymous #answers

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harrison-abbott · 4 months

Text

Travel Poetry - Prague

PRAGUE

We went to Czechia in January, 2017.

After taking the underground into the city

We walked up the sleety steps and into

A broad white shining city, with our breath

Puffing in the air. It’d been snowing for

Days, and as we ventured into the city I kept

Slipping up every few minutes, even though

I wore these clunky boots. We were staying

In a quiet hotel that was found down this

Narrow alleyway leaned over by tall terrace

Housing. … We went exploring, and walked

Over to the Vltava and crossed one of those

Handsome bridges, that were brown coloured

And ornamental in themselves and were

Still as important now as when they were made,

Hundreds of years earlier. To put it in context:

The Charles Bridge (the famous one with the

Arches that you see if you Google Prague images)

Is over 600 years old. And it leads up to the

Proper old town, with the castle that was built

In the 9th Century; and the St Vitus cathedral

With those gothic gnarly black spires, which,

Incidentally, took around 600 years of

Construction to be erected in what you saw now.

We walked up the hill to the castle and of course

It was all merry pretty tourist land these days,

With the rainbow coloured housing and so on,

But you still had a sense of history: that this

Was a key city of central Europe, that you were

Scaling up wintry slopes that were laden with lore.

We went into a museum, along the way, that

Was about medieval torture. It wasn’t my idea

To go; because I’m usually queasy about such

Historical topics. But, I found myself in there

Anyway. And, it was even queasier than I’d

Expected. So – it was a series of replicas of

Medieval weapons and apparatus, that they used

To kill people with, a few centuries back, who

Were suspected of witchcraft. And, after

Browsing around the museum floors for a while,

I kinda hoped that some of them were exaggerated

For tourist entertainment: hoped that they

Weren’t real depictions of what they used to do

To people. One example was of a tall wooden

Spike, about as big as a man: that they used to

Impale the person on, from which they would

Then leave them there on the street, to die.

Another one was a huge saw that they would use

To cut from a person’s groin, up to their head,

With them hanging upside down, and they would

Keep them alive long enough so that it was

As much a painful exist as possible. Another was

This metal chamber which had spikes in it,

Which weren’t long enough to kill you instantly,

And they would shut people inside it and lock

The doors, and never let them out. Yes: all of

It made me disturbed. I wondered whether the

Torturors even believed that the people they

Were killing were proper witches/devils, or

Whether they simply enjoyed doing such macabre

Things, with sadistic relish … Maybe a bit of

Both. … Anyway, we went up to the top of the

Hill, and then we took the cable train down the

Side of the hill, wherein, as we descended we

Could see through the windows the dotted

Bulbous star scape of Prague, with a snug

Clattering of the carriage as it trundled down

The tracks. When we alighted at the bottom

It was night time, in a purply closeness and

Real gaudy cold, now. We took one of the other

Bridges across the Vltava. And, looking down,

There were ducks moseying in the water.

Even though it was night time and well below

Zero, and despite there being icicles that clung

From the bridge, and snow all around, the ducks

Were just sitting there in the water, calmly, waiting,

Perhaps, for daylight. It made me wonder how

They managed to survive at all. Did they stay

There all night? Amazing. … We went back to

The hotel. My girl went to take a nap. And,

I did some reading on the desk nearby. I’d

Taken a Raymond Carver book (called Elephant)

With me on the holiday, a collection of short

Stories. They were inspiring and they made

Me want to write short stories too. At this

Point in my life I hadn’t published fiction before.

I was still in my early 20s and I’d had poems

Published in the past, but no stories.

So, Carver inspired me to start composing

My own little tales, which I penned then,

In those three nights in Prague, Czechia.

One of them was influenced by a real life

Incident which happened to me when I was

Way younger, back home in Edinburgh. Very

Close to where I live. It was when I was assaulted

By a man, when I was a teenager. It was quite

A surreal, brutal moment. When this man

Thundered out of his house and ran up

To me and punched me in the face and then

Pulled my hair. I suppose you could call it

Dark suburbia. Or, better, just a thuggish assault

From a man who must’ve been at least 40,

Overweight, incredibly stupid, goonish: who

Was so angry with his life, and so weak with his

Ego, that he had to go and attack a boy like

That on a random Friday morning.

That’s a whole other tale. But, what got me

Thinking about it again, was that, just before

I had come to Prague, I had been home in

Edinburgh to visit my mother’s home. And, as

I was out walking, on Boxing Day, I had passed

This man’s house: and seen him again.

He was drinking a beer in his living room

And I could see him through the window.

And he made especial effort to glare at me

From behind the glass, in an oafish, orc-like

Manner. And, of course, the man was even older

At this point: and he was still as immature and

Aggressive as that. The assault had enraged

Me to no end … But, when I was in Czechia,

Sitting at this desk, with a pen and journal

In front of me: I thought I would just write

A story about it, as a way of getting revenge

On this horrible man, in an artistic manner.

So I wrote a story about it / about what happened.

And I fictionalised it a little bit. But, the basic

Content: the violent premise of the tale,

Was true, and actually happened.

And then when I got back to Scotland,

After leaving the Czech Republic, I typed

Up the story I’d handwritten in the journal.

And then I sent it off to a publisher. And it

Got published. And, so, suddenly I was a

Published fiction writer as well. This was exactly

The type of vindication that I’d been after.

Being a published writer was way cooler

Than anything that ugly, seething man had

Ever accomplished. And it made me feel

Way better about his vicious attack on me.

Fuck him. Ha. … But, yeah: I have halcyon

Memories of Prague, as a whole. And that

Little hotel room where I penned those stories.

There was a 24 hour shop just outside where

I would go at night, and buy cigarettes

And obscure cans of beer, and I would

Smoke outside in the snowy lane. The snow

Would glow with an illumination in the

Spooky way that snow is able to do, in the dark.

And it got super cold in the a.m. hours.

At one point it was –17°C. But, I’ve always

Liked the cold. And, I loved the kaleidoscopic

Colours of the shop’s lights behind me.

Again: I doubt I will ever go back to Prague.

Because it was such a magical trip, and I

Doubt whether I could top it if I returned.

But I would certainly recommend it to

Anybody else who was thinking of going.

#writeblr #creative writing #writers on tumblr #tumblr writers #spilled ink #poem #poetry #travel poetry #travel writing #prague #czechia

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distraughtmary · 1 year

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Our Family Shouldn’t Feel Like a Crime. Chapter 1 + the synopsis (18+)

The Synopsis

Seriy’s mother is dead, but instead of mourning for her like the noisy neighbours and the family’s unfamiliar acquaintances expect him to, he is rejoiced. He can finally be free, bring his secret boyfriend Tokha home and make love to him until they both see stars, and transfer to another college rather than continue rotting in the one of his mother’s choosing. But with her death come certain responsibilities, and one of them is his never-seen-before half-sister, kept hidden by his mother for some unknown reason. He has a choice between handing her over to an orphanage, where she will be miserable and eventually broken, or to be her guardian. But the latter may lead to many visits from the child services that expect Seriy to get a girlfriend to create the ‘authentic’ family experience, even though state homophobia is officially no more, and if they discover any traces of his blooming romance with a guy, it will be over for him and his sister. While struggling to keep the crack-laced façade intact, Seriy receives help from the most unusual of sources…

My mother is dead. My mother is dead. My mother is dead. My mother is dead. My mother is dead. I keep repeating the mantra as my fingers are trembling while trying to remove a valerian pill from its container. I refused to take it even during the worst of my teenage outburst, but if there was ever the right time to test its sedative properties, the time is now. My mother is dead…

They broke the news to me in the same manner the forecast lady tells you about the weather for tomorrow. They asked me some questions I halfheartedly answered and reassured me that her death had not been completely ruled out as an accident and that it could even be a homicide, so her body would be taken for an autopsy. At last, they offered their condolences and promised to stay in touch, implying that they knew my number. I wondered whether they would call me from the 102 number or something less conspicuous because I definitely did not want to answer every single random number, but the less curious I was the faster they would be out. While leaving, they carelessly dropped the question ‘will you be alright living on your own’ like it was not this way even before she died. My mother could not cook, so I cooked everything and bought all the groceries. She never swept the floor in her life, so it was also up to me. Once she broke the washing machine by pushing the wrong button, and I had to spend all the stipend money I had saved for my boyfriend’s birthday to fix it. Not to mention that she only slept home two days a week at best, and her whereabouts for the rest of the week were a mystery, but I did not care. My mother has been dead to me ever since she blurted out that her support for me was fake, and she had simply been waiting for the gay phase to be over. Her actual death changes nothing. Or maybe it does.

Just because my mother was mostly absent, it did not mean that her hold over me was weak. Following my coming out at 15, she installed cameras in all possible rooms, including the pantry, which was big enough for two people to fit it. Back then she explained that it was for “my own good” and that all sexual activities should be reserved for marriage, and she completely disregarded the fact that gay marriage would not happen during our lifetime. Hearing that from the person who never married was astonishing, but my mother was always a hypocrite. Perhaps she wanted to me to avoid her “early mistakes”, even though gay sex mistakes were different, but I was naïve and believed that she was being supportive in her weird way. Furthermore, my mind was too preoccupied with passing the 9th grade exams and choosing the best path for the remaining two grades, and I still had zero clue about who I wanted to be. Surprisingly, my mother decided to interfere and told me to consider the Railway Engineering University, which is not far from our house. She also suggested doubling down on Maths and Physics, as those subjects are mandatory for the majority of the specialities there. I was more partial to Chemistry, but I could not envision myself as a chemist at some pharmacy selling ACE inhibitors to old ladies for the rest of my life. So I followed my mother’s advice, thinking that I still had choices down the road. I did not. Before my graduation in the 11th grade, my mother dropped a very explicit hint that if I did not apply to the Railway University, she would kick me out. Usually parents kick you out for being gay and not for choosing the wrong university, so her behaviour seemed strange, but my exam results would only be good for railways anyway. My school was not a top establishment in any capacity, and the other two valid options were swarmed with students from better schools. Or so I was led to believe. Reflecting on everything that transpired before and after my graduation, I cannot help but come to the conclusion that my mother’s acceptance came with a price, and that price was my freedom.

The cameras were not always on. When my mother was home, she turned them off to give me some ‘privacy’. ‘I know that boys have their needs,’ she used to say. And I suppose I did. What I also needed was love, and not that kind of tough love my mother forced upon me, but some real, pure, unadulterated love. While I was growing up, the attitude towards the LGBTQ community started to gradually change, and if coming out at school was unheard of 10 years ago, at some point around the 7th grade, it became possible. I never ended up coming out, though. I still do not what exactly I was scared of since everyone more or less knew, but I felt like my mom would be angry if I told my classmates. I thought about actual supportive parents approaching her, and what would she tell? Just more lies? That she was happy for me despite never feeling that way? Regardless, I may not have told anything in public, but I talked to some guys in private. That was how I met my first boyfriend, Sasha. He was in the same grade as me, but in a different class. He was, without the doubt, the most handsome boy at our school, and I still remember the shine of his eyes with faint yearning. He had dated a girl from my French class before we got together, and I always regarded them with poorly hidden envy. It was hard to deny that they were perfect together, and someone as scrawny and mole-ridden as me would never be his match. A sudden blessing came in a form of their fight over Sasha’s bisexuality, which apparently bothered Mademoiselle Entendez My French. She was not fond of him looking at other guys, to put it mildly, and even confessed that she was glad when he looked at other girls because somehow it made her less self-conscious than having to compete with guys. The fight predictably ended in their break-up, and all I wanted to know was what guys had caught Sasha’s attention. There were no guys, as it turned out, it was me all along, as he whispered to me during one PE class where I was permanently benched due to asthma and he was benched due to flu. I cannot remember what I felt at the moment, but I will never forget our intense make-out session in the deserted boys’ toilet after classes on the same day. It was my first kiss, or more like, a set of kisses, and I barely knew what to do and where to put my tongue, but my instincts guided me, and Sasha looked pleased. I probably looked redder than a tomato, amplified by the fact that Sasha did not stop at exchanging saliva, although it was undoubtedly hot, and thoroughly explored my neck, leaving hickeys for days. Who knows what else he would have explored if we had not been interrupted by a fifth grader with a very serious problem. We had a bunch of similar sessions afterwards, and then Sasha decided that he wanted to call on me and meet my mother. A weird proposition considering that we were not ‘official’ and would not be at least for another year, but I gave in, partially because I was becoming more like his ex-girlfriend, paranoid that he would find someone else in the sea of more attractive and braver students. Ultimately, not going public was the right decision. When we came over my place, my mother was present, a pulp fiction book in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Upon seeing us, she immediately dropped both and assumed the role of a welcoming host. She asked Sasha some irrelevant stuff, which he was eager to expound on, and revealed that he was the first boy to visit me since the elementary school, a highly embarrassing fact that made Sasha bashful nevertheless. Then she abruptly left, off to her man business, though I was in no position to judge as I was about to have my own man business. I lied to Sasha that the cameras were there as an anti-thief measure and he had nothing to worry about and I secretly hoped that it was true because I had never tested what would happen if I got too cosy with another boy. Apparently, my mother had managed to charm Sasha, prompting him to wonder why I could not be out of the closet at school: ‘She seems so kind and accepting, and you are just being a chicken’. I brushed that off and sealed his mouth with a kiss, Sasha following my lead. Next he removed my blazer and reached to unbutton my shirt, and I stirred to do the same. Out of blue, a key was heard turning in the front door, and my mother was on us, her face triumphant. ‘What did I tell you about doing indecent things when I’m out?’ she asked rhetorically. Obviously, Sasha and I were no more after that incident, but I still hold the delusional thought that he at least understood why I could not be out. I even told him to wait for me after a brief conversation outside of my flat, to which he mumbled something incoherent. Two weeks later, he was with the French class girl again, their previous disagreements forgotten. They got married after the graduation ceremony and left for Saint-Petersburg, supposedly because Sasha got an offer he could not refuse. Rumour has it that they welcomed their first child 6 months ago, but I did not care enough to stalk his social media under a burner account since my main one was blocked. I know that I should feel happy for him if I truly loved him or whatever a good person is supposed to feel in such cases. I am not a good person, and what I feel is resentment, anger, sorrow, and regret. I regret that he was my first love, but fortunately, not the first at everything, because he was not worthy in the end. He barely got to know me, and he was desperate to get into my pants and did not ever bother discussing boundaries, safety, and… our roles. I must admit that I was also desperate and horny then and was willing to do anything to make him satisfied, even if it compromised my health and pleasure. I know better now, but years of wallowing over the incident still left their scars.

I avoided getting involved with anyone until graduation, despite the fact that some guys dropped not-so-subtle hints that they would like to get closer to me. My short dalliance with Sasha was an open secret, something he tried to silence, but you cannot quench every single whisper. I did not mind those rumours and the reputation of being hard to get, though some saw it as a challenge. Petya, a guy from my class who had been out since the seventh grade, stalled me after the last class once. He pressed me against the wall as I was heading towards the door and seductively asked me what it was that I wanted. I told him that I wanted a hot dog, which was the truth, but I failed to consider the innuendo, seeing how his fingers started playing with the zipper of his trousers. I promptly corrected myself, saying that I wanted a vegan hot dog, and swiftly left the classroom and left Petya flummoxed. Others pulled their tricks, but it was all in vain, and the outcome was me having no one to attend the graduation ball with. Coincidentally, it was the first ball where boys could dance with boys and girls could dance with girls, a historic occasion that I was going to miss thanks to my mother. I still showed up for the food, which was rather delicious, and to witness who had ended up with who. Petya was with some guy I had seen once or twice during the whole 11 years, Grisha, another former suitor of mine, was with a girl because his parents were staunch Orthodox Christians who had vehemently protested against the ball, and the star of the show was Sasha, who was literally sweeping the dancefloor with his girlfriend. He did not look my way even once, further breaking my heart, which still longed for him then, and I was about to leave before the last dance. Suddenly, a blond boy with tanned complexion approached me as I was heaving myself from the chair. It was Lyosha, a student from the same class as Sasha, a quiet guy who had always minded his business and had never come out like me. But he was there then, staring intently at me, his blue eyes full of determination, and he threw his arm in my direction. I hesitated, but then I did not and locked his hand with mine gracefully. Everyone knew about me anyway, and nobody could hurt me anymore, so we danced our asses off to the unanimous astonishment. I think I caught one or two glances coming from Sasha, but I was too immersed in the moment to care. I was finally out, but out did not mean free.

After the ball, Lyosha told me that he was also going to apply for the Railway University and invited me to go there together. We chose the same speciality, something about bridge construction, because the city’s 5 bridges clearly were not enough, and I thought that I was making the right choice even though my mother had pushed me to do it. In many ways, Lyosha was my real first: my first proper date, which was at some Mexican restaurant, my first ‘naked bodies touch’ contact, my first foreplay experience, including two jobs and one ting, and my first botched attempt at having penetrative sex. The rest had been done in random places, but we needed a bed for ‘the real thing’, and our flats were out of question. Mine for obvious reasons, and I even told Lyosha about Sasha, making him chuckle at the absurdity of the situation, and his because he was not out to his parents, who had eaten up whatever excuse he had concocted about the dance, which had gone sort of viral. My mother never talked about it, but deep inside she was always fuming, and my pocket money were only a fraction of what she had given me previously. I think she knew about Lyosha, even though I never brought him home, and she probably found solace in the fact that we struggled to find some privacy. When we finally found it in Lyosha’s friend’s dormitory room, the fun did not last long. As I steadied myself to lose my virginity, the friend’s roommate entered the room without any prior announcement and interrupted our coitus. Afterwards he unceremoniously kicked us out, barely giving us the time to put on our trousers, not to mention the upper echelon of the clothes. Someone took a pic of us in the middle of redressing, and thus another viral moment was born. I could take it since I had nothing to lose, but Lyosha’s situation was different, and the humiliation was too much for him to handle. He even changed universities, and his last message to me was to fuck myself. I could not blame my mother entirely for all that, but had she dropped the cameras shit, maybe the affair would have had a happier ending. Incidentally, that was when I finally confronted her over them. I told her that I was almost nineteen and could make my choices and that I did not need her overprotection, to which she acridly replied that the cameras would be gone once my gay phase was over. She said that it had been going for far too long, that she wanted grandchildren to give her life a purpose, and that she was tired of me being the laughing-stock of the neighbourhood, although if anything, the second viral moment helped me gain more fans. I said nothing and buried her mentally, her coffin as ugly as a sin. She has been dead to me since, and she could no longer kick me out because she would face the wrath of the same neighbourhood whose opinions she cared too much about.

Tokha is my fourth boyfriend. The third one, Daniil, was nothing to write home about, and I doubt I can call him a proper boyfriend, more like a hook-up with a clumsy zoo date preceding it. He was the one who took my virginity in his skimpy one-bedroom rented flat, but the sex was so disgusting that I wanted to remain celibate for the rest of my life. Tokha helped me realize that it had not been my fault and that Daniil had failed to ‘accommodate’ me. The first time Tokha and I had sex with all the necessary preparations and stuff, I still did not like it, and I bled all over his Looney Tunes sheets, which he had forgotten to replace in a rush. He told me that I was his first and that he had never bothered to buy something more adult, but I told him that it was ok. He never saw the childish mess my room was, and I vowed to keep it secret until… Until my mother came around, which never happened during her life. Next time, we tried switching, and it kind of worked for me, and Tokha seemed content with the arrangement as well. We came up with the thigh strategy for Tokha to practise his thrusts without hurting me, but we never got to test it as his mother discovered something suspicious on his bedding while doing the laundry and told him to take it outside. That happened mere weeks ago, and we have been racking our brains in futile attempts to find a place where no one would harass us, which proved to be extremely difficult as our combined income was half as much as the cheapest rent. Tokha was visibly upset last time I saw him, which was two days ago, and not only due to our bed problem. He is a med student, and all the issues associated with that seemed to be piling up and threatening to suffocate him. I promised to help him with my residual knowledge of Biology, despite my own tasks overwhelming me. After Lyosha, I stopped giving a fuck about bridges and only did the bare minimum to avoid expulsion. I thought that I could manage to bear everything with him, even the classes I despised, but my passion evaporated once he was out of the pictured. Lately I have been obsessed with idea of transferring to the med school to give pharmacology a try (and see more of Tokha) and taking extra exams, as I only took Russian, Maths, Physics and Chemistry, but my mother would never allow that. As long as she was alive.

My mother is gone. She is dead for real. She is dead to everyone. Her death is no longer an idea in my mind; it’s a part of the world. Her death has materialized, manifested. Have I caused her death? I am not sure. But what matters is that she is no more. No more stupid cameras. No more unreasonable expectations. No more punishing me for being myself. No more secret boyfriends. No more masturbation only when she is home and can suspect what is happening behind the door she forbade to lock under any circumstances. No more forced majors and career paths. No more smoke in the bathroom. No more discovering used condoms under her bed because while I could not do that at home, she could. No more random strangers sneaking out of her room in the middle of the night, spreading alcohol stench all over the hallway. No more cooking the food she liked and I could not stomach. No more tears because of her subtle homophobia, no matter how many times she claimed she loved me. No more, no more, no more.

My mother is dead. My eyes are dry. My mouth is wry with a smile. The valerian pill is travelling down my throat. I am so happy I could choke on it and die, too.

#writing #amwriting #writeblr #queer lit #queer #m/m fiction #m/m romance #our family

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juanaloveskopi · 2 years

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caffeine-versations #2:

did you came to the point of your life where you don’t often think of having someone you can call your own “home” after a looooong tiring day? cause girl… same.

there have been times when I felt like, “is this the point where I finally give up or there’s a little bit more than I can handle?” and to be honest, I didn’t feel like I already gave up but at the same time I don’t like to feel or handle it either. I got stuck somewhere in between and to whatever this place I don’t even know.

no matter how much I try to hide, I am still the same girl who’s independent but would ugly cry if I get hugs and kisses before I go to bed. cold as ice but would fuck it up with the right one. clingy side of me hiding beneath my non-chalant personality.

every night, I have this thought of, “what if I fall in love again?” and I would cry cause I can’t feel anything towards to someone who would confess that they like me, like I don’t think they deserve to be with me cause I’m a boring person. I swear, I could end my entire day just by doing nothing. sometimes I find it funny and I’m one of those people who had zero fucks given about not going out when pandemic hits (I’m not saying its a good thing though) cause that’s how I live my life. scared that I won’t feel nothing no more, and I kinda miss being in love.

I have experienced love once in my life and never again. for me, its fine that I experienced it once. yep, I self-doubted for months before I let him go and promised myself to love me more than he did. would tell my friends, “okay na yung isang beses nagka jowa at least, nagkaroon.” I would laugh and pretend I’m happy of the thought of it.

30 is the best age for me to settle down and I wish I’m financially stable that time. I’m still almost half way there, I got 6 more years to fix myself (though I think I’m okay now) and create memories that I could tell with the right guy for me. I hope he would understand why I prefer taking care of dogs and cats instead of an infant. I don’t wanna get pregnant and gave birth cause I always believe that relationship or marriage isn’t always about having a kids, its about being together til death do us part. I hope he knows I love long drives, city lights, and going to gigs. I hope he doesn’t get easily annoyed by my small morning kisses and tight hugs, for its my way of saying “I love you” or “You’re important to me”. I hope he loves his mom cause a man who loves and treats his mom right always the best for me (also, I could get free lutong ulam and free access of being her lifetime ka-chikahan). I hope he likes carbonara, and sopas cause that’s the only thing I can cook without burning it. I hope he would see me and will look for me despite of the walls I built for me to not get hurt. I hope he would pursue me when I have doubts. And I hope he’s doing fine cause I’ll be waiting here for him to rescue me. (wow, princess ka gorl?)

since I was 11 years old, I think Your Universe by Rico Blanco was the most romantic song I ever heard as a kid. I would sell my soul just to hear it again for the first time. I heard it first from my mom’s radio, and everytime it plays randomly, I would write all the lyrics in a piece of paper and searched it up on YouTube. it was the 9th song on my Friendster profile.

and as I grow old, every time I hear it, I feel like I’m in someones universe who loves me deeply. sometimes, I get cringe when I think of it but at the same time, I wanna be held so bad while Your Universe plays. to know that you’re being love is one of the greatest feeling and I really do hope I could have it. but if I’m one of those people who’s destined to be alone forever, I’ll be okay. in another life, I guess?

I promise I’ll make him read this shitty ass entry blog of mine about love when he’s finally with me. the corniest blog I did. but right now, love is not my priority cause I know it can wait. I have things and responsibilities to do, I hope its all worth it! enjoying 20’s in the best way I can 🤘🏻

~~~

and to you my future love (ew),

I have so much love to offer, its all in here and I can’t wait to finally meet you, pour it all for you, and take care of you. don’t go rush, okay? do everything you want and I want you to achieve your goals before being mine. I’ll be here… waiting.

love,

B 💋

[ Credits to @piapaints ]

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tillidontneedfantasy · 4 years

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A Track-by-Track Breakdown of Taylor Swift’s 9th Studio Album: ‘evermore’

“My collaborators and I are proud to announce that my 9th studio album and folklore’s sister record is here. It’s called evermore,” is how Taylor Swift introduces us to this album in its foreword. One might assume a “sister record” would entail b-sides, or tracks that didn’t quite make the cut for folklore, despite Taylor’s explanation that “we just couldn’t stop writing songs.” evermore’s release came at a strange time, upon the heels of the Folklore: Long Pond Studio Sessions film on Disney+, as well as 5 Grammy nominations for folklore. The world still captivated by folklore, it’s understandable why one might not consume evermore as critically. Even as a die-hard fan, I felt some whiplash by this announcement; I am still processing folklore! Hell, I’m still processing reputation!

If this was the Taylor from two years ago, this may have been a big enough fear of hers to hold off on releasing evermore. But as she explained upon folklore’s surprise release, life is too unpredictable now, and there are zero givens or guarantees. So she followed the same path this time (although making sure it fell in line with her birthday weekend). But it’s not just the strategic timing of the release that she’s thrown out the window for now, but also her mindset whilst making records. As she explains in the evermore album foreword,

“I’ve never done this before. In the past I’ve always treated albums as one-off eras and moved onto planning the next one as soon as an album was released. There was something different with folklore. In making it, I felt less like I was departing and more like I was returning. I loved the escapism I found in these imaginary/not imaginary tales. I loved the ways you welcomed the dreamscapes and tragedies and epic tales of love lost and found. So I just kept writing them.”

This is a revelation for Swift, to let the music lead her into artistic freedom, which is what makes evermore such a triumphant return. Truly folklore’s sister record, Taylor wrote evermore with the same creative team: Aaron Dessner of The National (Swift’s favorite band), long-time pal and collaborator Jack Antonoff, Justin Vernon of Bon Iver, and William Bowery aka Swift’s boyfriend, Joe Alwyn (as officially revealed in the Long Pond Studio Sessions). Additionally, former 1989 tour openers and close friends of Taylor, the HAIM sisters, join the crew, along with Marcus Mumford for some dreamy backup vocals.

The production is just as wistful and mesmerizing as it was on folklore, yet the storytelling on evermore is kicked up a notch, expanding on the topics and worldbuilding established in its sister record, with even sharper lyrics and an effective and elaborate use of alliteration. The best thing about Taylor is that no matter what she does, her masterful lyricism is always at the heart of her art, and somehow, she keeps getting better. Once again, I wanted to explore the rich stories she’s crafted in this woodsy universe. This is how I’ve interpreted the album, but I hope you find your own meaning in the songs as well.

1. willow It is fitting that the opening track to folklore’s sister album, where we wade further into the forest that is Taylor Swift’s imagination and storytelling, would center on the type of tree that is a symbol of hope, belonging, safety, stability, and healing. “willow,” one of the few more obviously autobiographical tracks on the album, is a hymn of gratitude for her man (as she wants you to know, yes, thirteen times), Joe Alwyn, and how the invisible string tethering them together pulled her to him in a time when everyone else was counting her out. Though not as present on many of the other songs later to come on this record, you can feel the lightness in her heart on this song as she embraces the way in which the willow has bent, wrecking her plans, throwing her into the water and leaving her happily lost and afloat in his current. The downward key modulation throughout the last two repetitions of the chorus is beautiful and very fitting for Swift vocally, but also sounds like the feeling of finding your comfort and settling into it, basking it in while you wait for the next place the wind pulls you. Best lyric: “Now this is an open/shut case / I guess I should’ve known from the look on your face / Every bait and switch was a work of art.”

2. champagne problems On the second track of the album, Taylor dives back into the fictional worldbuilding she began to explore on folklore. While on folklore high school relationships and dramatics took center-stage, evermore graduates from adolescence to young adulthood, not that it is any easier emotionally on the listener’s heart. “champagne problems” chronicles a rejected marriage proposal between two college sweethearts at their old dorm building. Taylor sings as the narrator, a reflective, self-deprecating young woman who jokes about belonging in a madhouse and dismisses all her turmoil as champagne problems. The term ‘champagne problems’ itself could have various meanings here: their trivial concerns, the fact that their “sister splashed out on the bottle” of champagne that they will not be using to celebrate as they had hoped, or perhaps it could even hint that excessive drinking is a piece of all the ways the narrator is “fucked in the head,” as they said. Although the person she is singing to is the one who got hurt in the story, the hurt in the narrator’s heart is just as palpable and relatable, because you only have yourself to blame when you self-destruct. Best lyric: “’She would’ve made such a lovely bride, / what a shame she’s fucked in the head,’ they said / but you’ll find the real thing instead / she’ll patch up your tapestry that I shred.”

3. gold rush On her YouTube live chat prior to the album’s release, Taylor explained that this song “takes place inside a single daydream where you get lost in thought for a minute and then snap out of it.” The daydream consists of a love story so pure that the town had never seen such a thing; it could only happen in a fantasy for the narrator. How could she possibly have the gall to call them out on their contrarian shit, or end up with her Eagles t-shirt hanging from their door, when they are so coveted by all, and when she cannot withstand the thought of even competing? She sings, “My mind turns your life into folklore / I can’t dare to dream about you anymore,” a sweet little connecting piece to this album’s older sister, effectively convincing herself out of the idea of jumping into the chaos of the gold rush because even inside her own imagination it’s too dangerous. Best lyric: “I don’t like that falling feels like flying ‘till the bone crush.”

4. ‘tis the damn season According to Aaron Dessner, Taylor had written the lyrics for ��’tis the damn season” in the middle of the night amidst their Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions recording after a long night of chatting and drinking with their co-conspirator, Jack Antonoff. The lyrics perfectly encapsulate the guttural ache the track evokes. It is a tale of two people who always find their way back to one another in their hometown, which acts as the ever-returning fork in the road. The path taken, back to L.A. in pursuit of her dreams, is the one she chose and continues to choose, but whenever she returns home, she takes a ride down the road not taken, just to get a taste of what could have been, even if just for the weekend. What starts off as an icy homecoming always transforms into the warmest intimacy. The success of this track is aligned with the success of Taylor’s entire career; even with such specific details, it feels so deeply personal to the listener. You know the street you’d drive along late at night laughing, the spot you’d park the car, the person who stars in every what-if. You will never really know if the road not taken is as good as it seems, but that might be ok; sometimes, the fantasy is better than the reality, anyway. Best lyric: “It’s the kind of cold / fogs up windshield glass, but I felt it when I passed you / There’s an ache in you / put there by the ache in me.”

5. tolerate it Inspired by the novel Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, “tolerate it” is an agonizing track from the perspective of a devoted wife who polishes plates and paints portraits and waits by the door for her husband with a battle hero’s welcome, who at best tolerates all her adoration. There are few things as painful as idolization being met with indifference, when you have all this love to give to someone who just leaves it there untouched. “tolerate it” captures that desperation for the approval you know will never arrive, but you sit and watch, waiting for it just in case you’re wrong, but you know you’re not. Best lyric: “I made you my temple, my mural, my sky / now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life / drawing hearts in the byline”

6. no body, no crime feat. HAIM “no body, no crime,” the one evermore song solo-written by Taylor, has the clearest plot from beginning to end. In the same vein as the female powerhouse country classic “Goodbye Earl” by The Chicks, Taylor is out for blood to avenge her friend, Este (named for one of the HAIM sisters). The story goes as such: Este’s husband kills her for calling him out on his infidelity, and then Taylor kills the husband and frames his mistress. The HAIM girls, who are long-time friends of Taylor’s and former touring mates, lend their vocals to reinforce the accusation on the husband and to provide Taylor’s alibi. “no body, no crime” is so far the closest we’ve gotten to a return to “country Taylor,” proving that she is still the master of a killer country tune (yes, pun intended, it had to be done I’m sorry). Best lyric: “Good thing Este’s sister’s gonna swear she was with me / (she was with me, dude) / Good thing his mistress took out a big life insurance policy”

7. happiness Written a week before the album’s release, “happiness” is one of Swift’s strongest and most reflective breakup songs. Although she writes it as though it is recent, there’s a lot of power in knowing that she’s been happily in love for four years, and that she is even better now at doing the thing that has always been best at. She is finally “above the trees,” as she sings, and is able to see it all for what it is, but her character is still in the heat of it all, trying to navigate the stages of grief when a relationship ends. We see the narrator grapple with many of those stages throughout the song. Most striking is the anger displayed in the second verse when she sings: “I hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you / No, I didn’t mean that, / sorry, I can’t see facts through all of my fury.” That section is jarring and feels like one of the most honest moments in a Taylor song, the insanely difficult emotional balancing act when we are grieving a relationship. The devastation of loss can distort our perception, and a part of that is the difficulty of understanding how multiple seemingly opposing things can co-exist in our hearts, such as happiness because of someone and happiness after them. But when you leave it all behind and finally find your place above the trees, you can find happiness after someone and also look back and appreciate the happiness they once provided. Both of these things can be true. Best lyric: “Showed you all of my hiding spots / I was dancing when the music stopped.”

8. dorothea Taylor Swift has the uncanny ability to create such developed and well-rounded characters with such little information, which is what makes her storytelling so compelling. In “dorothea,” we learn much about the title character through the narrator’s eyes, and the relationship they once had. The lyric “skipping the prom just to piss off your mom and her pageant schemes” alone tells an entire story in itself. “dorothea” is also the companion song to “’tis the damn season,” just from the other person’s perspective, which helps shine even more light on the story. The narrator of “dorothea” reveres her but wonders if she’s still the same soul in L.A. as she was back in their never-changing town. Whatever the answer, they’re still willing to support her no matter where she is, but she’s always welcome back in Tupelo by her hometown love’s side if she ever just wants to be herself rather than someone known for who they know. Besides, they’re the only soul who can tell which smiles she’s faking. And you can always return to the road not taken. Best lyric: “They all wanna be ya / but are you still the same soul I met under the bleachers? / Well, I guess I’ll never know / and you’ll go on with the show.”

9. coney island feat. The National What really started the folklore / evermore journey was Taylor’s love for The National. Taylor has cited them as one of her favorite bands for many years, and as we know, this led to her beautiful new collaborative relationship with Aaron Dessner. So it would make sense for the track written with the intention of this duet to be so well executed; you can feel the love and care Taylor put into writing this song. In her press for these sister albums, she has spoken about trying to channel frontman Matt Berninger’s writing style. But what actually happened was she just produced her own signature lyricism at its sharpest. “We were like the mall before the internet, it was the one place to be / the mischief, the gift-wrapped suburban dreams / sorry for not winning you an arcade ring over and over,” is a hall of famer Swift-ian lyric. “coney island” explores the confusion, hurt, and self-reflection when a passionate affair burns out fast because you did not prioritize that person. And to top it off, Swift and Berninger’s harmonies are achingly beautiful, transporting you right there in the story, on the bench, wondering, over and over. Best lyric: “Do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? / Will you forgive my soul when you’re too wise to trust me and too old to care?”

10. ivy Leave it to Taylor Swift to make a song about an affair sound so romantic, and so sympathetic to the narrator, that you’re rooting for adultery. “ivy” tells the tale of a woman in a lifeless marriage, likening her home with him to the tombstone that the widow in town visits each day. I like to think this is the same wife whose husband was out there building other worlds without her in “tolerate it,” because then that means she found someone who celebrates her love, who holds her pain for her, who blooms all over her; they started it, but she’s fighting for it all the way to the end, nonetheless. “ivy” showcases Swift’s gorgeous vocals and her sharp lyrics, with a melody so infectious it is bound to permanently plant its roots in your dreamland. Best lyric: “Oh, I can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland / my house of stone, your ivy grows, and now I’m covered in you.”

11. cowboy like me With the beautifully blended backing vocals of Marcus Mumford, “cowboy like me” is an entrancing love story of two con artists who lost at their own game and got conned into forever with each other. She’d gone from swindling old men for their money and fancy cars to falling victim to the danger of dancing with someone who only has eyes full of stars, and she knows she’ll pay for it. “cowboy like me” is one of the most romantic tracks on the record, proving that life never plays out quite as we plan. Best lyric: “Now you hang from my lips like the gardens of Babylon / with your boots beneath my bed / Forever is the sweetest con.”

12. long story short One of the more pop-sounding tracks on evermore, “long story short” is pretty much a summary of the long story behind reputation (2017). The song is filled with various metaphors for her reputation crumbling around her, and then finally putting her defenses down to be with her lover, someone as “rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky.” It is a sweet ode to her boyfriend, and a gentle comfort to her past self that it will all work out. But it is also an oddly relatable example of how we shrug off our struggles and minimize them to just a “bad time,” when the time she is singing about was obviously something that deeply affected her (as will be further explored in the title track); but sometimes it actually feels good to just shrug it off as just a blip in your life, because at the end of the day, you survived, and that’s what counts- even if you’re not keeping score anymore. Best lyric: “Pushed from the precipice / clung to the nearest lips / long story short, it was the wrong guy. / Now I’m all about you.”

13. marjorie Whereas track 13 on folklore was a tribute to Swift’s paternal grandfather, evermore’s track 13 is a tribute to her maternal grandmother, Marjorie Finlay, who was an opera singer in the 50s, and passed away in 2003 when Taylor was 13 years old. “marjorie” is quite possibly the most touching track Taylor has ever written thus far in her career. Grief is one of the most difficult topics to tackle in a song; the genius of “marjorie” is that it is simple, yet not understated. Swift reflects on the profound lessons she learned from her grandmother, about the difficult balances of kindness and cleverness, and politeness and power. She curses herself for not cherishing the moments she had with her, for complaining rather than understanding in the moment how admirable her spirit was, for all the amber skies she’d love but will never see. The chorus, blunt and hard-hitting, reminds us that someone does not have to be living to be alive, to be all around, to be with us. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were singing to me now,” Taylor sings towards the end of the song, right before you hear a sample of Finlay’s opera singing in the background, a truly eye-swelling moment. It is clear that Finlay played a pivotal role in Swift’s own ambitions, as she sings, “all your closets of backlogged dreams, and how you left them all to me.” Marjorie knew she was leaving them in good hands. If you haven’t yet, check out the moving lyric video for the song, where you can see photos and video clips of Marjorie, both throughout her career and in her time with Taylor. Best lyric: “Never be so polite you forget your power, / never wield such power you forget to be polite.”

14. closure On the most experimental track musically on the record, Taylor writes off her need for closure from a relationship of some sort, whether it be romantic or platonic or business, all of which can cause hurt of equal intensity. The subject of the song is trying to make nice with Taylor, and she is just not having it, as it is not coming from a genuine place, but rather to ensure that their life remains picture perfect, or to clear their guilty conscience, or to preserve their own ego. This is a deeply relatable sentiment; as valuable as forgiveness can be, sometimes the person who hurt you just doesn’t deserve it, and all you can do is forgive yourself for blocking their number or shredding their letters. Best lyric: “I know I’m just a wrinkle in your new life / staying friends would iron it out so nice.”

15. evermore feat. Bon Iver To close out the standard edition of the album, Taylor joins forces once again with Justin Vernon of Bon Iver, with whom she collaborated on the Grammy-nominated duet, “exile” for folklore. However, Swift leads most of the track this time, lamenting the difficult time she went through in 2016. The piano and Swift’s vocals are haunting, particularly when she describes this time in her life as “catching my death,” consumed by a pain that she feels will never end. If you’ve ever been depressed, you know what that feels like, and the dark places it leads you. Although she is singing about a time four years prior, it sounds so present, and it is heartbreaking to hear her in such a state. When Bon Iver comes in, the tempo of the song picks up, the piano riff becomes more erratic, like a winter storm hitting you in the face, and he voices all the anxieties of the cost of such a downfall. But through those anxieties, Taylor finds not a cure, but an anchor in love, and then the tempo slows back down. By the end of the song, Taylor has the foresight to understand that although it may not feel like it now, the pain she is experiencing is not permanent (a sentiment my therapist has been trying to instill in me for years). In her Apple Music interview with Zane Lowe, Taylor explained how the lyrics parallel the times we are in currently, and so it feels really special to have the album end with someone who knows how it feels to be imprisoned by your pain gently comfort us with the wisdom that “this pain wouldn’t be for evermore.” I hope one day soon, as we leave 2020 far behind, we can all truly believe her. Best lyric: “I was catching my breath / barefoot in the wildest winter catching my death.”

16. right where you left me (bonus track) The first bonus track on evermore, “right where you left me,” captures a moment so earth-crushing, a piece of you is trapped in it forever. In this song specifically, the narrator finds herself stuck in the same corner of a restaurant where she was told by someone she loved that they had met someone else. “Glass shattered on the white cloth, everybody moved on,” she sings in mourning. We have all experienced those moments that we could teleport back to if we just closed our eyes; the scenery, what you wore, the smell and taste of the season, the very point in your body where it felt like your insides were collapsing. Or that one particular person, who is long-gone from your life but seeing them is like time-travelling back to that person you once were, ready to pick up where you left off. But as much as you want to stay in that moment forever, just in case it changes in your favor, the cold reality is that the world stops for no one. Best lyric: “If our love died young, I can’t bear witness / And it’s been so long, but if you ever think you got it wrong / I’m right where you left me.”

17. it’s time to go (bonus track) “right where you left me” was Taylor’s cry for help to get out of restaurant, and “it’s time to go” is the answer to the call, as she sings in the first line, “when the dinner gets cold, and the chatter gets old / you ask for the tab.” This song is about gathering the strength to leave situations and relationships behind that no longer serve you. She grieves the betrayal of someone she thought to be a twin from her dreams (almost definitely referring to former friend, Karlie Kloss), acknowledges that keeping a marriage together for the sake of the kids often actually has the opposite intended effect (possibly- but not certainly- something she and her brother experienced), and recounts attempting to bargain with someone consumed by greed, only able to leave with herself (absolutely referring to the end of her fifteen-year long business relationship with Scott Borchetta, her former record-label owner). But as painful as leaving all of those situations was, Taylor has gained the wisdom to understand that walking away sometimes takes as much strength as persevering. You can’t stay at the restaurant, or at the mercy of someone else forever; you have to forge your own path, even if it’s in the opposite direction of what you envisioned for so long. And even with all her past success behind her, as folklore and evermore have proved, there is so much more ahead of her. Best lyric: “That old familiar body ache, the snaps from the same little breaks in your soul / You know when it’s time to go.”

In a time where we are all trapped in our homes and in our heads, the folklore/evermore experience has been the sweetest escape. If anything, the creation of these wonderful sister records has taught me that our most powerful tool in times of distress is our own imagination. Even just the ability to close my eyes while listening to one of these tracks and feel the character’s story is a gift. The way I’ve always been able to pick up Harry Potter and escape to Hogwarts when I’ve felt alone and friendless, I can listen to folklore and evermore when I feel scared or hopeless and escape into this enchanted forest Taylor has built, where I can climb above the trees and see it all for what it is. I feel so lucky to watch Taylor’s imaginative world unravel around me. I can’t wait to see what she creates next.

DISCLAIMER – REVIEWER’S BIAS: I would literally die for this bitch.

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maldito-arbol · 3 years

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Let’s talk about the GP zodiacs (Part 2)

HOLSY HSIT I LOVE THE GP KIDS SO MUCH AND THEIR SIGNS ARE SO INTERESTING

Thank u to puff-poff for shooting me with an ask about the gp kids, I think our brains just assimilated

One more note: I should’ve mentioned this in my last post but compatibility between signs doesn’t only apply to romantic relationships, it applies to any kind of relationship like friendships, family relations, etc. It’s just that when it comes to more platonic relationships, wholly incompatible signs are more likely to be able to work something out together. As an example, I’m a Gemini, and I’m about 300% certain I could never ever in my life date a Pisces, but I do have a few Pisces friends that I get along well enough with.

Okay same drill—sign, element, infodump, GO

Violet

Birthdate: June 12th

Sign: Gemini

Element: Air

Overview: SQUEALS GUYS ITS VIOLET MY BELOVED. WE’RE BOTH GEMINIS THEREFORE WE ARE THE SAME PERSON. I’m kidding but no, Violet being a Gemini makes her 100x easier to project onto. So I mentioned before that Air signs are the least in tune with their emotions, are the thinkers before they act, are horribly indecisive, and these very much apply to Geminis as well. However, the most iconic trait of a Gemini is the ability to switch personalities at the drop of a hat whenever it services the group of people they’re in—what most people call the ‘two-faced’ part of Geminis. Hey, I promise you that being two-faced is actually a pretty cool and useful asset when in the hands of a decent human being. It means we get along well with a lot of different people, and if we don’t, we can act like we do as if it’s nothing. This asset, however, can turn into a curse of sorts in that a lot of us have...NO IDEA what our actual personality is. We reshape and remold ourselves and copy traits from other signs to fit in so much that we lose sight of who we are as an individual, and therefore we have a very hard time figuring out what we truly want. This is where the indecisiveness comes into play—ask a Gemini what they want for lunch and you’ll get a “what? Huh? Oh, you pick. I’m fine with whatever.” I know Geminis best because I am one, pls forgive me for rambling so much more about them than the other signssss.

Okay so first of all, let’s talk about Violet adapting to other characters to ‘fit in’. It’s not as obvious because Violet DOES seem to have one very fixed personality, but Violet prefers to speak through actions rather than words, so I would call her following Emma to help the children at GP a Gemini move. She could’ve simply dragged her to Lucas—she’s probably strong enough to do so, but instead she decided to go along with her. This isn’t to say there’s no pushback of course, as Air signs Geminis aren’t idiots, so they’ll often try to reason with others (particularly fire signs cough cough) to try to bring logic and critical thinking into the conversation. However, when that fails, they can still be counted on to support their friends even if they disagree. This is why Geminis and Leos are soulmates you heard it here, the stars said Violemma is the way. BUT ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW VIOLET’S THE ONE ADAM LISTENS TO DURING THE LEUVIS BATTLE. YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT BEING ABLE TO GET ALONG WITH A LOT OF PEOPLE, THERE YOU GO.

Anyway it’s also very much worth noting that while Violet can seem very harsh at times (bc Geminis will put you in your PLACE), bringing her logical kind of advice into conversations can be a very helpful comforter.

On another note this scene is so gay?

Compatibility and ships: hellooooooo Air sign Violet you are compatible with other Air signs (Aquarius, Libra, and Gemini) as well as Fire signs (Leo, Sagittarius, and Aries). Usually you’ll see Aquarius and Sagittarius as the most compatible with Geminis but I disagree with that because I have never met a Sagittarius I like so I’m still pointing fervently at Leos and the fact that Emma is a Leo. Listen. Violemma is the way. I am determined to convert all of you to Violemma if it’s the last thing I do. Geminis simply cannot help themselves around Leos they fall like a fucking anvil for that bright, golden-hearted dumbass energy. If there’s any Leos in the tpn fandom let me know I might just propose to you.

Oliver

Birthdate: October 25th

Sign: Scorpio

Element: Water

Overview: the first time I looked up Oliver’s birthday I went “Scorpio???? REALLY????” but then this is another case where the more I think about it, it does indeed make sense. If Leos are the natural leaders of the Fire signs, then Scorpios are the natural leaders of the Water signs. Where Cancers and Pisces will often lose themselves to their emotions, Scorpios have a very strong handle on them. I mentioned before that Water signs are at the highest emotional level, but Scorpios are a bit of an interesting case because you oftentimes won’t even notice that they’re very emotional people. They try to act like Air signs in that way, but their true colors are always there, waiting to be coaxed out.

For Oliver, you can clearly tell that his emotional bond with his friends and especially with Lucas is very high—but even so, he doesn’t let his emotions cloud his judgment or his ability to adapt to the situation at hand. Where earth signs are very fixed and difficult to move, water signs are always moving and changing to find solutions best suited for new circumstances. The best example I can give is the part where the music plays early, and despite internally panicking about it, Oliver is the one who naturally steps up to calm everyone down.

Scorpios are great at handling others’ emotions as well as their own, which makes them marvelously empathetic leaders. We stan.

Compatibility and ships: as a Water sign, Oliver is compatible with other Water signs (Cancer, Pisces, and Scorpio) as well as Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn) so speaking broadly that makes him compatible with Pepe (a Pisces) and Zack (a Cancer) but narrowing it down, Scorpios are usually best with Tauruses and Cancers. Idk if I’m the only one who ships Oliver with Pepe but I know there’s a few people who ship him with Zack—so congrats to you guys, you won the stars’ approval.

Lucas

Birthdate: November 28th

Sign: Sagittarius

Element: Fire

Overview: yall,,,, when I found out Lucas was a Saggy Titty I legitimately guffawed out loud. Lucas and Sagittarius is so funny.... because it’s so wrong. Saggy Titties are the definition of chaos, they’re brazen, impulsive, and constantly changing. Like think of a frat boy in a house full of beer and pool tables and hot girls and you get Sagittarius. This is why I have never met a Sagittarius I like—because they have frat boy energy, and even non-male Sagittariuses require wayyy too much energy for me to handle. I guess the only time Lucas really does act like a Sagittarius is in his childhood with Yuugo, and the way he’s a lot bolder and outgoing versus the quieter older Lucas we have now.

It is important to note that Lucas has been through a lot of trauma and lost a lot of comrades which could very well change the a person’s entire outlook and turn their personality 180 degrees—that could be a large factor, although on the flip side, Yuugo still fits his Capricorn sign even after going through what he’s been through. Different events affect different people differently. Lucas was most likely knocked entirely off his Sagittarius high-horse very quickly when he arrived in Goldy Pond. But if I had no prior knowledge of who he was beforehand, I very well might’ve pegged him a Leo like Emma or even another subtle Aries like Norman. So yes, he does indeed have fire energy, it’s just generally very lackluster and farrrr away from Sagittarius’ level.

Compatibility and ships: okay so I know the only Lucas ship with any weight to it in this fandom is Yuucas, and here’s the thing,,, A Sagittarius and Capricorn combo is the most horrifying fucking couple imaginable and I’m stan so hard. Realistically speaking, your Capricorns would try to put a leash on their Sagittariuses because man. I forgot to mention how childish Sagittariuses can be (though the frat boy comparison should’ve been a clue), and holy shit that poor Capricorn is gonna get ripped to shreds by their Sagittarius. Imagine like a super pompous cowboy trying to ride a furious bull that’s trying to buck him off like there’s no tomorrow. Capricorns are people who want complete control over themselves and their partners, while Sagittariuses,, Saggy Titties just want to see the world burn. Put them together and you could probably cause the End Times Apocalypse. But you know what? Good for them. I think Yuugo and Lucas love each other enough that the toxicity that comes with typical pairups with these two signs is about nonexistent between them. But I fully believe they could still destroy an entire planet and that’s valid of them to do so. Anyway moving on!

you wanna talk about another Sagittarius that makes absolutely no sense?

Paula

Birthdate: December 9th

Sign: Sagittarius

Element: Fire

Overview: My authors I am begging you, stop putting character birthdays in the Sagittarius zone you clearly don’t know what a Sagittarius is.

Since I refuse to acknowledge Paula as a Sagittarius, let’s talk about what sign she actually acts like because I said so. Paula’s a Virgo. Fight me Shirai. (Also im sus that shirai is virgophobic because where the fuck are my virgos. There’s like zero major characters that are virgos, and the characters that ARE don’t even act like virgos. I’m coming for your small intestine Shirai) so as earth signs, virgos are generally pretty resourceful and of course level-headed. They’re kinda shy and reserved, but they’re also very hard workers you can count on when you need to get a job done. Nary will you find a Virgo that procrastinates or attempts to weasel their way out of a mission they’ve been given. The unmovable earth in virgos shows through in how committed they are, and we can see all these traits in Paula. Though she’s a quieter member of the GP resistance, you can tell just how much of an asset she is to them. She doesn’t run, doesn’t lose her cool, and she’s good at pointing out important details.

Pls let me decide your characters’ birthdays for you Shirai I promise I am good at it.

Compatibility and ships: I guess, astrologically speaking, as a Sagittarius, Paula does fit pretty well with Sonya because she’s a Gemini. I actually know next to nothing about Paula ships but I do know she’s lesbian and her and Sonya are cute but I also ship her with Barbara because reasons don’t ask questions I WILL bite you anyway they’re compatible too because barb’s also a Gemini.

Lot of Geminis, don’t you think? Yes I do. Let’s talk about them.

Sonya and Sandy

Birthdates: June 3rd and May 22nd respectively

Signs: Gemini

Element: Air

Overview: these two are what I call the gemini twins bECAUSE THEYRE ALWAYS HANGING OUT AND ITS SO TRUE GEMINIS LOVE EACH OTHER BUT ALSO ITS SO WEIRD THAT WE GET ALONG. imagine like two of those one way mirrors facing each other where it just goes on and on and on for infinite mirror and that’s what two Geminis hanging out is like. Look, they’re literally thinking the same thing and it’s so great

Anyway there isn’t a whole lot of Sandy and Sonya content to go off of in the first place, but them being Geminis seems reasonable to me—at the very least they are indeed meant to get along well and they’re so in sync I could cry. Plus they’re pretty intuitive and able to think right on the spot as they’re facing Nous and Nouma (at least at first) My man Shirai also.. really likes Geminis for some reason because they keep popping up. So instead of one Spider-Man meme it looks more like this,

Compatibility and ships: not gonna dwell too long on this section because from previous ones you may already recall they’re compatible with each other and I guess with Paula as well as I must begrudgingly accept the fact that shes canonically a Sagittarius.

Pepe

Birthdate: February 19th

Sign: Pisces

Element: Water

Overview: so I mentioned before that water signs are at about the highest emotion level, which makes Pisces a very sensitive group like Cancers. But Pisces in general are known for being the kindest and most accepting people as well, which means they’re able to make a lot of friends very easily. They’re basically that one person you sat next to in class who started a conversation with you just to be nice. Now again, there’s not a whole lot of Pepe content to go off of, but we can tell he’s kind and loving to his friends and the other kids in GP. One thing I can mention is that Pisces usually are the one of the nosiest of the signs, and they get very bothered by lies and secrets (this is true for a lot of water signs, but Pisces are the worst in my experience) so we got this single piece that may have a little bit of the Pisces in Pepe showing:

Compatibility and ships: So as a Pisces, Pepe is only compatible with Oliver and Zack considering they’re also water signs. Everyone else is Fire and Air, funnily enough, but the Pepe ships with those two are super cute I think so it’s ok.

Zack

Birthdate: July 7th

Sign: Cancer

Element: Water

Overview: so do I think Zack fits his sign? Yes, in a way I do. I already went into Cancers when I explained Don, so quick recap: Cancers are some of the most sensitive and empathetic, so their loyalty to their loved ones is pretty close to on-par with an Aries. And while Zack isn’t as outwardly emotional as someone like Don, the Cancer in him shows up well in that he’s constantly taking extremely difficult missions he doesn’t want his friends to risk, and he shrugs off any injury to himself.

This might just be a me thing but almost every Cancer I’ve met has a habit of doing That. I am so concerned for their safety. I guess though, if I hadn’t known his sign beforehand, I 100% would’ve pegged him an Aries.

Compatibility and ships: I already went over this with Pepe, but Zack is compatible with Pepe and Oliver. Y’all ok listen to me. OT3. Make it happen. Between them they have every sign in the element of water. They’d be unstoppable.

Gillian

Birthdate: September 30th

Sign: Libra

Element: Air

Overview: here’s a fun one. So as I previously stated, air signs are usually out of tune with their emotions, but where that causes Aquariuses and Geminis to repress or hide them, Libras,,,, just dump them everywhere. Listen I know Libras are supposed to be the sign of the balance scales and they have a thing about the world being perfectly balanced which makes them more prone to revenge bUT ALSO. MY first and foremost takeaway from Libras is that they all suffer from Rich Bitch syndrome, in which they obsess over material items and every Libra has a thing about cute girly stuff change my mind. HOWEVER, they’re often very chaotic as well, the kinda Sagittarius of the Air signs. So like a super cute and seemingly fun girl who will probably murder you in your sleep.

I’m sorry I can’t take it I’ve been laughing at this for the past fifteen minutes it’s too funny. Anyway, Gillian’s Rich Bitch Syndrome appears through her fashion statement. Her PINS. omg. Gillian your Libra is showing.

Compatibility and ships: as a Libra Gillian is compatible with other Air signs (Aquarius, Gemini, Libra) as well as Fire signs (Aries, Sagittarius, Leo) but she’s most compatible with Aries and Sagittarius so—— Paula yes, but also Nigel because he’s an Aries! Speaking of Nigel,

Nigel

Birthdate: March 27th

Sign: Aries

Element: Fire

Overview: Aries Nigel doesn’t come as a surprise, let’s be real here. I delved into Aries before with Norman, so just as a recap: Aries are so intensely loyal to the ones they love and would do absolutely anything for them even at the cost of their lives, and this can make them prone to outbursts of anger and/or impulsivity. Here’s your one image of Aries Nigel, I don’t even have to explain:

Compatibility and ships: so I already said this but Nigel is at his most compatible with Gillian. Are there other Nigel ships?? Pls let me know I’m very curious.

Aw, it’s over now :(

I loved talking about the GP kids they fill the void in my heart. Now to move onto talking about the demons because the silliest idiot requested it and I am beyond ecstatic to spout pure headcanon bullshit. If you’re feelin excited then feel free to keep sending characters my way I will be happy to ramble about their canon zodiac or my headcanon for their zodiac

Edit: i forgot to link part 1 to anyone who wants it and doesn’t want to stalk my profile to find it

#the promised neverland #yakusoku no neverland #tpn analysis #tpn #goldy pond #you have no idea the trouble tumblr put me through attempting to put only ten images in this giant post #fuck u tumbley for having a limit #but i also took the extra effort to make unnecessary memes so that ones on me #hope y’all like #ugh this made me think about GP ships and how much i wanna draw them #especially the new OT3 I can hyperfixate on #also can we talk about Sagittarius erasure in media #the only Sagittarius I know who actually acts like a Sagittarius in his respective show is Shou from mp100 #but he’s also one of my favorites so I guess not all sagittariuses (derogatory)#what was i talking about #tpn manga spoilers #mal rants #man I wanted to wait a little longer to post this but I’m literally on the brink of passing out I’m so tired #so here ya go take it #idk if I’ve made errors I was like half-awake when I proofread it #but anyway g’night I’m gonna go into a coma

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kireii-writes · 4 years

Text

You are mine

warning(s): yandere tendencies, obsessive behavior

a cold shiver involuntarily went down your spine as you clutched the letter in your trembling hands, your eyes scanning each and every line with fear.

this was the 9th letter. and with each passing letter, it only got more and more creepy.

Dear y/n, the letter wrote.

Like always I’ve seen the way you move during training today. How you move so gracefully and swiftly like the wind. it blows my mind , how you’re so effortlessly beautiful. I saw how attentive and gentle you were when attending to the horses, or how your eyes twinkle and shine when you’re surrounded by the rest during meal times.

You’re like a fresh breath of air in this tainted and wretched, cruel world, but I won’t let you suffer at the cruel hands of fate anymore. Every time I look at the beautiful face of yours, I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to have you for my own.

I won’t let you go, and I can’t let you go. I will slaughter and destroy this world for you. I will create a world fit for someone like you, and I will move the stars and the moon for you, my love. I would even lay down at your feet and worship the ground you walk on, even if you don’t ask. I love you, I love you, I love you.

This world is a cruel place that is unfit for someone as pure as you. Come with me, and I will protect you from the lies they’ve stained you with. Please don’t refuse me, or I will have no choice but to steal you- my beautiful rose- away.

I will always be watching you, my precious flower. If you’ve decided you want to start a new world with me, meet me at the riverbank tonight, when everyone else is asleep.

I will continue to wait for you, even if you don’t appear tonight. And with every second, my love for you will continue to grow.

With love,

Your secret admirer.

crushing the letter, your heart raced and palpitated at the very thought of someone within the survey corps constantly observing you without you knowing. who on earth could it be? Jean? it couldn’t be- he wouldn’t do something as creepy as this, you’re sure. what about Armin? heck, he’s too lovely and nice to do something like that. as your mind raced with questions, you knew that if you wanted to get to the bottom of this, you would have to do the inevitable- do what the letter says and find out for yourself who this person was when everyone else is asleep.

“y/n, are you coming to sleep?” mikasa asked sleepily as she got ready to go to bed.

“n-not yet,” you gave her a smile, a poor attempt at covering up the fact that you were breaking into cold sweat. thankfully, she was too tired to notice anything suspicious. even if she did, you silently thanked your lucky stars for her choice to ignore it. anyone else knowing about this was the last thing you wanted. especially if that someone was mikasa. there’s no doubt that she would search out the entire survey corps for this mysterious person in order to keep you safe.

as soon as mikasa went ahead to bed, you silently made your way out of the room you shared with her. now, all that’s left to do is to wait for everyone else to go to sleep. it took relatively long, but Levi and Hange finally went to get a wink of sleep. after making sure that everyone was in bed, you tiptoed through the quiet, chilly night and made your way towards the riverbank, your heart heavy with each step you took. there was no knowing what this person might do if they find out that you had zero intention of following them and abandoning the survey corps. all you wanted to do was to find out who was behind these letters and put a stop to it.

stopping in front of the riverbank, you cursed under the breath when a gust of wind blew, causing your thin nightwear to cling to you like a second layer of skin. scanning your surroundings, you tried to pick up any signs of anyone else but there was none, the shining, brilliant moon the only light source. in order to calm your nerves, you couldn’t help but hum out a lullaby- a lullaby your mother had taught you years before the titans first invaded the wall.

focusing on the lullaby that was now escaping from your throat like a melody, the pools of your eyes reflected the shimmering waters of the river as the wind blew across it gently.

“you have a lovely voice.” a masculine voice sounded out from behind you, and you instantly froze with horror, the blood in your veins becoming as cold as ice. suddenly, you were drawn back into reality and remembered your sole purpose of coming to the riverbank this late. but what was worse, was that you instantly knew the owner of the voice. the distinct sound of his voice gave the person away. not daring to turn around or move an inch, you stood as still as you can as you waited for him to make the next move.

time seemed to come to a standstill, as you waited for the man behind you to speak up. it felt like eternity before you heard shuffling from behind you, indicating that he was making a move. the next thing you knew, a pair of warm arms enclosed around your frame as a familiar scent invaded your nose.

“so you’ve read my letter and decided to come, hm?” eren asked as he continued to rub his nose into your shoulder. silence greeted him as the words were caught in your throat.

it was eren. it was eren all along. the same eren who had joined the survey corps many years back.

“you smell so good, my love.” eren muttered as he inhaled the smell of your hair deeply. “so good.” he groaned, causing your heart to beat faster and faster with every second.

“eren,” you called out as calmly as possible, earning a hum from the man behind you to hum out to indicate that he was listening. “get off me.”

at your words, eren stiffened and slowly pulled back from you. “why? didn’t you come here because you want to be with me?” eren asked, confusion in his face as he spun you around to face him. unable to look at him in the eye, you nervously blinked and look down at your feet. there was no way you could bring yourself to tell him what you wanted to say. there was no knowing what he might do next.

“y/n? what’s wrong? tell me, my beautiful flower.” eren asked as he cupped your chin. “let’s run away and start a new world together, okay?”

no matter how long you held out, you knew that there was no avoiding this sticky situation now. biting your lip, you let out a shaky breath as you prepared yourself for what’s to come next.

“eren,” you started, silently hoping that he wouldn’t hear the waver in your voice. “you need to stop. with the letters, with everything. there’s no way i will abandon the survey corps and follow you. you’re scaring me, please stop.” you begged, swallowing the bile in your throat. slowly, eren’s hands slid from your face and hung loosely at his sides. you knew that eren wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer, but you had to at least try.

“why? is that all you have to say? is this what you came to tell me? don’t be fooled by them, y/n. they can’t protect you, but i can, and i will create a new world just for you, don’t you want that?” eren asked, a hint of desperation lacing his words.

“no.” you answered quietly. “i don’t want or need you to do something like that, or anything in the letter. i just want to continue living my life the way it is.”

“b-but we could start a family away from this cruel world and spend the rest of our lives together! don’t you want that? please, y/n. you don’t understand how much i need you!” by now, there was no use in talking sense into eren anymore. his hands found their way to the sides of your shoulders, gripping them tightly.

this was what you feared- eren losing control of his emotions and end up hurting either one of you in the process. “eren, please.” you begged, your shoulders hurting from how tight he was gripping them. “let go of me!” you struggled to release eren’s grip on your shoulders, but he only held on tighter.

“don’t you love me, y/n?”

“no!” you huffed out in desperation as you trashed wildly against his grip, but to no avail. there was no choice left. in one last attempt to distract him and free yourself, you finally blurted out your true feelings.

“you’re delusional, eren. there’s no way i’ll love someone like you, stop obsessing over me!”

the moment the words left your lips, eren’s eyes widened in shock and hurt. using this chance, you pried his loosened grip off your shoulders and ran past him, adrenaline coursing through you.

just as you thought you were finally able to escape, a hand shot out and you were pulled back into eren’s clutches. this time, his grip around your frame was tighter and rougher.

“i don’t want to hurt you, my love.” eren’s words tickled your ear as he brought one hand up to stifle your cries for help. “but if you misbehave, i’ll have no choice but to hurt you.”

nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck, he continued, “i’m way too in love with you to stop obsessing over you, my pretty little angel.”

“i will make you change your mind, no matter how long it takes.”

after all, you are mine, and no one else’s.”

#anime #aot imagines #aot x reader #eren jaeger #eren yeager #eren x reader #snk eren #snk x reader #yandere x reader #yandere asks #attack on titan #eren aot

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capricores · 4 years

Text

astrology & tarot readings 💥

i’m super excited to announce i am finally going to be offering astrological readings again! i’m also going to be offering a few different tarot readings & mixed astro-tarot readings as well! below the cut is full information on readings offered, prices (all in $CAD), important notes, and so forth. thank you so much for your continued support on my blog and content, and i appreciate so much anyone who may consider and order a reading from me! i can’t wait to provide you guys with more insight to your astrological makeup, and hopefully give you a better overall understanding of how astrological placements function in general. i also hope to give you great insight via tarot and oracle as well.

NOTE: readings will close once i fill up a certain amount of slots (undecided rn, but likely stopping around fifteen-twenty), please check my bio or status in this post (see directly below) on whether or not readings are currently open before requesting! i will make sure to frequently update the status of readings, and will try to re-open them soon after they close. it is likely that when i start my new FT job in november that i may have to close readings for a bit or accept less reading slots :)

CURRENT STATUS: open for all readings

💥 RULES AND IMPORTANT NOTES TO READ FIRST:

must be 18 or over to receive a reading (apologies but i do not feel comfortable reading for minors/receiving their birth information)

i default my readings in the PLACIDUS or equal house system (i do this dependent on your place of birth; for more info feel free to DM). if you prefer/relate more to another system, let me know! i am happy to read your chart in another house system (if you’re new to astrology, i recommend looking at the different planetary house placements in your chart in whole sign system, placidus system and equal house system - see which you relate to most - the easiest to tell by is usually the venus & moon house placement, just search up some basic descriptions of the varying placement of moon/venus. i prefer equal and placidus; lately i lean more towards equal)

i use tropical/western astrology, with both modern and traditional rulers

my readings come in either written or audio format, it’s entirely up to you. both audio and written readings contain the same depth and amount of information. audio readings are supplemented by summarized/bullet points of topics covered but note they do not have written in-depth interpretations like the written natal chart reading would (but i do break down my audio readings with time stamps for easy navigation)

tarot readings and mixed tarot/astro readings can also be done via video if you’d like to see the cards as they come out/etc; please note tarot-only readings are not supplemented with writing/notes if you order them audio or video style

full natal chart + personal planet + progressions readings can be customized to an extent: for example, if you’re not interested in romance, let me know before i do your reading! i’ll focus more on friendships and business when touching on connections/partnerships/venus/etc. or, if for example, you’re more interested in romance, i can highlight those things when interpreting your planets and aspects! this goes for any topics/themes: career, finance, love, friendship, etc. just let me know your specific interests, or things you don’t like talking about (ie: you have zero interest in romance), so i can make your reading more tailored to your preferences. if you have any triggers (ie: do not want family talked about, do not want s*xual topics [sorry i have to add the * or i’ll get shadowbanned again lol😭] talked about, etcetc please let me know! it is never any problem to accommodate this)

obviously, no returns/refunds as this is not a physical item and it takes hours, sometimes days, for most readings to be completed! by ordering from me you are agreeing to this no refund or return policy.

💥 READING TYPES

✨ ASTROLOGY-ONLY READINGS

1. full natal chart reading (must have birth time) $50-70

tier one, $50:

interpretations of all planets (sign + house)

interpretations of ascendant, midheaven, descendant, ic (fourth house)

interpretations of any stelliums, “high energy” houses (maybe not a stellium- but a house with multiple planets/asteroids in it) and lack of an element/modality (or abundance/excess of)

tier two, $70, includes everything in tier 1, plus:

interpretations of every house, even if the house is empty

interpretations of strong / major aspects (main focus on squares & quincunx for lessons, blockages, secret strengths / areas of growth, etc - but any other strong/prevalent aspects will be covered)

interpretations of the following asteroids (sign/house/aspects): north/south nodes, chiron & juno

interpretations of interceptions and duplications if applicable

interpretation of yods and t-squares if applicable

2. full natal chart reading (no birth time) $35

interpretation of all planets (sign)

interpretation of all major aspects (minus moon aspects)

information on any stelliums, lack of an element/modality (or abundance/excess of)

3. personal planets reading (birth time: $30, no birth time $20)

interpretations of sun through mars in the signs (and in the houses if you have birth time)

any standout aspects to the personals are interpreted (moon aspects not available if you don’t have birth time)

4. current astrological progress, focus, etc (”consultation”) $60

this reading is the one i’m most excited for! 🤍 this reading looks at your current transits as well as your progressed chart and solar return chart to determine where you currently are in your stage of astrological development and focus. we will discuss your progressed placements, kind of like a natal reading, and explain how they may be guiding, impacting and influencing you. we will also go over your current transits, their potential lessons, predictions based on your progressions & transits (long-term), and kind of get a full guide on what to expect, what to focus on, blockages, etc.

this consultation is interactive! so i welcome you to ask any questions before or after the reading that you’re curious on (i ask for a maximum of five or so *intense* questions though - clarification questions and small questions are totally fine more frequently). you can ask things like “what will happen over the next year in my love life” or “what are the biggest lessons for me this year”, etc. this reading is meant specifically for gaining insight into upcoming events and themes in your life. i use your natal chart, transit chart, solar return & progressed chart. you NEED accurate birth time for this reading. you also need to be comfortable giving me both your birth place and where you will be (city-wise) on your next birthday (or last birthday, depending on which was closer; for the solar return chart).

please note however, this does not include any in-depth interpretation of your natal chart, if you’re interested in that you are going to want the first reading! it is also consultation style; i of course will interpret placements but it is more a “what to expect & focus on” type of reading, than a “this means (x)” type of reading. if you have more information of questions about this or any other reading, shoot me a DM anytime!

5. love reading $15

focuses on self-love, friendship & romantic love. this reading focuses on the planets, aspects, asteroids, houses that center around themes of love and connection in all forms (namely juno, venus, moon, 5th/7th/8th houses, etc). it will go over your wants in love versus needs, blockages in love and things to look out for, weaknesses versus strengths, the type of person that would likely best suit you as a friend or partner, etc. please note it’s recommended that you have your birth time for this reading, since it relies on house placements (however i am able to provide this reading w/o birth time).

i plan for this reading to likely be around three or so pages but knowing my rambling it may be longer lol.

6. blockages, development and growth reading $15

this astrological reading focuses heavily on the learning points and blockages present within your natal chart. specifically, this will have heavy focus on squares, oppositions, quincunxes, yods, interceptions, saturn placement, jupiter placement, sun placement 12th house + draconic chart. i will go over areas of struggle, blocks, and areas that likely need development and heavy focus based on your natal chart. i recommend the above progressed reading if you want a more extensive view on this with consideration to current transits and progressions. please note it’s recommended that you have your birth time for this reading, since it relies on house placements (however i am able to provide this reading w/o birth time).

i plan for this reading to likely be around three or so pages but knowing my rambling it may be longer lol.

7. work, education, career & purpose reading $15

this astrological reading focuses on your “purpose”. mainly highlighting placements like the north/south node, 3rd/9th houses, ascendant-midheaven, and sun/mars/mercury/uranus, we cover ideal careers, paths, and purposes for you. this will cover potential issues and blockages when it comes to work, career and study; as well as when achieving your purpose. it also points towards specific fields, industries, areas of study, etc that you are best suited for and guided towards astrologically. please note it’s recommended that you have your birth time for this reading, since it relies on house placements (however i am able to provide this reading w/o birth time).

i plan for this reading to likely be around three or so pages but knowing my rambling it may be longer lol.

✨ MIXED READINGS (astrology & tarot combined):

1. love life + your person/soulmate reading $25 w/ transits $20 w/o

tarot pulls to reveals the traits, potential signs, energy, etc of your person. using the natal chart (fifth house, seventh house, juno, venus/moon/jupiter, saturn aspects, and more) to determine the traits, likely signs/placements of your “soulmate” or ideal person.

tarot pulls surrounding current themes/blockages/etc in your love life, what you may need to hear, what your person may be going through, their feelings, etc. i also look to your astrological transits to see potential blockages or blessings in your love life right now.

2. monthly predictions / reading $15

using a mix of tarot & oracle pulls along with your current astrological transits, i’ll highlight the focuses, blockages, blessing, themes and similar for the next month for you. things to look out for, look forward to, to specifically work on, etc. if you have a specific theme of more interest (ie: work life or love life), let me know and i can accommodate my reading to focus more on those than other things (just note i may end up pulling cards not related to said thing, because the universe has a stronger message for you).

✨ TAROT-ONLY READINGS (all pay by tip unless specified, but i do ask a min of a $2 tip!) - payment done via ko-fi or paypal. here are some reading examples (everything is customizable, these are just reading suggestions and possible questions, we can discuss further in DMs)

new moon, full moon, weekly or monthly readings: what you need to release, blockages this moon cycle/week/month, blessings this moon cycle/week/month, what to focus on this moon cycle/week/month

self-love & healing readings: what makes you wonderful / what should you be proud of you / what do you bring to others / where are you too hard on yourself / how can you show yourself love / areas of growth

general love reading: you / lover / dynamic, their wants / your differences / similarities / compatibility, your role in rs / their role / past of rs / current state of rs / future, etc.

general career and finance reading: where does your passion lie / what are you good at / how can you combine these / advice, current financial state / where to avoid spending and save / where to let money flow / advice, what are you doing wrong (career/finance) / what are you doing write / what should you do next / advice, etc.

friendship reading: you can actually use the love reading spreads/questions for friendships as well! some other examples; what you think you get from friendship / what you actually get / what the other person feels you bring / is this person a good friend, current state of the friendship / blockages in the friendship / blessings of this friendship / advice or oracle, etc.

stay or go reading (insp): current state of the connection or situation / why you should stay / why you should go / general advice [please note as with any other reading; you must make your own decisions; please do not ask me about toxic/abusive relationships; the answer is always to get help & leave if you can and are safe! this reading can be used for jobs, education, connections]

general three card pull style readings: you / the other person / the relationship, what you want / what they want / potential outcome, strength / weakness / advice, past / present / future, emotional compatibility / spiritual compatibility / physical compatibility, etc! but you’re welcome to google “three card tarot readings” and request a specific one

yes / no + reasoning readings: straightforward, ask a yes or no question and i’ll pull a tarot card + angel oracle card for the question + ask for clarification on the yes or no (please note “maybe” “not now” etc answers are possible, the cards won’t always give a solid clear yes or no)

extensive tarot love reading, singles $10: traits & signs/energy of your next person, how/when you’ll meet [or if you already have], future relationship strengths/weaknesses, romance + angel + moonology oracle messages, blockages for the relationship, advice, etc + one question answered of your choice

extensive tarot love reading, taken/talking stage/etc $10: your person’s current state, their current feelings, if they’re ready for a relationship (+ why/why not), if you’re ready for a relationship (+ why/why not), blockages holding the relationship back/that may arise, romance + angel + moonology oracle messages, strengths and weaknesses of the relationship, advice + one question answered of your choice

romance & angel oracle pulls for love: very straightforward oracle cards to give messages about your love life, partner, current situation, etc in lieu of using traditional tarot-only reading methods

please note i will not answer any medical, legal, or similar questions/advice. all decisions you make after any reading are always your own. astrology & tarot are meant to be for entertainment purposes solely. i am not held accountable for decisions you make after viewing your reading(s). please note i am not a replacement for therapy, counselling, financial advices, career counsellors, life coaches, or other professionals.

HOW TO RECEIVE A READING - for astrology, astrology-tarot mixed readings, and extensive tarot love readings)

please check bio/this post to see if readings are still open

fill out THIS form

i will then DM you once i receive the request to let you know if i am able to accept the reading or not (aka if slots haven’t filled up yet! i’ll try to give an estimated time frame of completion as well or at least let you know how many readings are before yours) - as of november, i will dm you only once i start your reading! but feel free to DM me first for confirmation

once i’m ready to start your reading, i’ll ask for your birth information and get things going

payment is done via paypal and again i use canadian dollars! once i confirm your reading, i take the payment AFTER i’ve already started the reading. i will send you an invoice via paypal, so all i require is your email. once completed, you’ll receive a google doc link to your full completed reading. i also attach a google form for review, feedback, etc. if you’re comfortable with me publicly posting your feedback onto my reviews page, you’ll be able to specify that in said form! the feedback is anonymous with the option to not be anonymous, entirely up to you.

HOW TO RECEIVE A READING - for tarot-only tip based readings

please check bio/this post to see if readings are still open

send me a DM mentioning you want to do a tip-based tarot reading

after that, i’ll ask you to let me know the theme, spread, topic, question, etc

i’ll pull your cards and do your reading, and then you can send the tip via ko-fi or paypal afterwards :)

#also! if you have a reading already booked from me everything is staying the same for you!#(like price/reading type/everything will stay so dw)#unless you want to change/upgrade to one of these readings #and if i havent reached out to you in a while pls feel free to msg me again i apologize for being so spacey and out of it!!!#mercury rx has been pushing me around loool #im so excited for these i am vibrating w joy #i hope this has no typos or mistakes i am exhausted help #it took so many hours to write this post bc i kept changing things fml

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mysterylover123 · 5 years

Text

Top 10 Reveals I’m Excited for in My Hero Academia

mysterylover123

Now first let me clarify what I mean by reveals: There are basically two types of reveals in the story, the Mystery and the internal reveal. Internal reveals are when a character learns something the audience already knows. There is a lot of hidden information I want the characters to learn about, as well as mysteries even the fans don’t know yet.

Also spoilers up until the most recent manga chapter!

#10. JUST WHAT IS BAKUGOU’S HERO NAME?

The fandom has written approximately 20,000 different meta on the question of just what Lord Explosion Murder’s real hero name will eventually be. Recently, Katsuki confirmed that he does indeed have one and has “someone he needs to tell”. Whozat? What is the name, dammit? The answer to this one is probably coming pretty soon, since it’s been brought up in-universe, but we’re all getting pretty impatient to finally learn what it is.

My theory: A play on Bakusatsuo/Ground Zero, or a play on Kacchan that connects the latter to his future goals. The person he wants to tell is...Jeanist! (sorry, Bakugou).

#9. THE LOV’S POWER-UPS

This one’s an internal reveal. Namely, the League has Overhaul’s bullets, the Meta Liberation Army, Gigantomachia and an army of high-end Nomus....but no one knows about this besides the PLF. The kids at UA don’t know. The Pro heroes and cops don’t seem to know, the public as a whole has no idea what a nightmare is brewing behind the scenes for them as the League plots and plans. It’s about time they all learned just what a powerful, dangerous force they’re truly up against in spectacular, horrifying fashion.

My Theory: The League will use their resources (the bullets) to wipe out the Top 10 Pros by erasing their quirks in fights with all their warriors, but the UA kids interning with the Pros will hold their own, showing some hope for the future of heroism.

#8. HAWKS=TRIPLE AGENT=JEANIST KILLER

Another internal reveal, though mixed with a few audience reveals. Namely, did Hawks actually kill Best Jeanist or is this some kind of a bluff? Hawks’ status as a triple agent is something that can serve for some pretty dramatic revelations later on in the narrative - mostly for Endeavor, Tokoyami, and Dabi, learning about his various statuses and having a big “You? No, it couldn’t be!” moment. This one will probably also come soon; he’s been teetering on the edge for way too long.

My Theory: Hawks’ reveal will come during the aforementioned LoV attack arc, and this will initiate the reveal of Kacchan’s hero name. Basically, the first 3 all tie together into a potential future arc that may be coming up sooner than we think. And tie into the next one...

#7. DABI=?

This one is a big mystery, and one that pretty much the entire fanbase has a solid theory on the answer to. Basically, if Dabi is not somehow Toya Todoroki then we’ve all got nothing. The most prominent LoV member to have received no backstory flashbacks in the MLA arc and no real name during the Hideout Raid, the mysterious firebender is a giant enigma...and yet everything about him dovetails nicely with the theory of him being a re-animated version of the allegedly dead Todoroki sibling. He even looks like Toya, so odds on this one are pretty high.

My Theory: The Toya reveal could come out in this very next arc, given all the Nomu/long lost friend drama of the recent chapters and the Todoroki angst arc of the previous ones. Otherwise, it’ll probably wait for a while to finally be unveiled. And the impact on Endeavor and Shoto will be devastating.

#6. WHAT ARE THE OTHER 5 QUIRKS?

Unlike the Avatar state where we know all the powers ahead of time, Midoriya’s future quirks inside of OFA are a complete mystery. Aside from Super Strength and Black Whip, what are the other 5 wielders’ powers? The fact that we have no answers on this one at all yet is really baffling to me, because DIDN’T ALL MIGHT AND GRAN TORINO KNOW NANA’S QUIRK?!!?! Why hasn’t All Might told Deku what quirk he’ll be getting from her yet? We need this information, dude! Also why does one of the silouhettes look like Bakugo? Are you an immortal timelord Kacchan?

My Theory: I think Nana’s quirk must be related to Tomura’s (Maybe a reversal of decay, like a healing power?). As to the other 4, those are complete mysteries. Maybe super senses, some kind of shield, an elemental power, and a wildcard quirk?

#5. TENKO=TOMURA=NANA SHIMURA’S GRANDKID

This is a great big internal reveal that I’m really impatient for more information on. Namely: 1. All Might needs to tell Deku that Tomura is Nana’s grandson. 2. Tomura needs to find out that his grandmother was All MIght’s Master, and 3. to find out that her spirit exists within Midoriya. All of this needs to go down, because that big fight between Tomura and Deku we have to get eventually is going to need some more personal stakes, and anyway why doesn’t Deku know this yet already? Tell him All Might! He needs to know!

My Theory: All Might will tell Deku, who will let this info slip at a crucial moment when fighting Tomura, calling him “Tenko” maybe at some point; this reveal, which Deku will cop to, will send Tomura into a self-searching spiral.

#4. WHO IS DEKU’S DAD?

It’s pretty much grand Shonen tradition for the protagonist to have a completely absent dad, whose identity becomes a major reveal later on in the story. Deku’s dad is perhaps the most absent father in all of fiction, as we have almost zero information about the guy and Deku never even thinks about or mentions him. There are many, many prominent fan theories about who he is, and technically just a brief picture, appearance and characterization would do the trick, but most fans are convinced he must be someone important.

My Theory: Dad for One theorist here. Plenty of evidence/potential reasons it could be true to work with. All for One has some kinda plan that relates to Deku and OFA, and the reveal will come then.

#3. UJIKO=TSUBASA=AFO’S DR=DEKU’S DR?!?

One of the biggest reasons I’m a Dad for One theorist is because of AFO’s doctor being Deku’s doctor from Chapter 1. Ujiko, the mad scientst of the League, is Dr. Tsubasa. He took his relative, Kacchan’s childhood friend, and turned him into the winged Nomu that kidnapped Deku during the Hero Killer Arc. Right now he’s turning Tomura into a butterfly or something. Deku and Kacchan need to learn about this connection, and dole out some sweet justice to this guy. (BTW is it my FMA eyes or does he look a lot like the gold-toothed doctor?)

My Theory: Dad for One hired him to supervise Midoriya, and deliberately picked Tsubasa as an experimentation subject to punish him for picking on Deku (which is also why he’s so cool with going after Bakugo), and Deku and Kacchan will find out by seeing him during a future LoV confrontation.

#2. WHO IS THE UA TRAITOR?

The golden question, indeed? Who, exactly, is the UA traitor? Is there a traitor? How did the league find them if not? Is it confirmed there is a traitor, most likely? And if so, who is it? There are so many prominent theories as to who it could be and how this would impact the story; I’ve read decent arguments from all over the board for every single possible candidate, and while there are plenty that have some solid evidence, only one really appeals to me from a characterization standpoint.

My theory: I’m down with the Uraraka traitor theory, because I love the idea of what it could do with her character, the ways it could affect her relationship with Deku, and the possibilities of the Toga/Ochaco parallels. Of course, I’ll be happy as long as it makes sense and crafts some good drama.

Hon Mentions: Eri will learn Nighteye died (she still doesn’t know); Other characters learn Todoroki’s backstory; Kirishima learns he and Mina fought Gigantomachia; Just freaking tell him you like him already Uraraka

#1. DEKU HAS OFA

This seems like a strange thing to list as a “Reveal”, since Deku got OFA in Chapter 1. But when I say this, I mean Other characters learn about it. Obviously, Kacchan already learned and that was great. So think of the possibilities of other characters finding out! In order of who needs to know: 1. Inko, 2. Tomura, 3. Mirio, 4. Todoroki and his family, 5. Uraraka, Oddly enough, the series could probably progress with nobody but Tomura out of that list learning the truth, but still, the possibilities of the drama worth exploiting from the 9th wielder reveal are almost endless. It’s a bomb under the table waiting to go off to craft neat conflict in the future.

My Theory: Tomura and Ujiko know about OFa. They’ll tell PLF and go on a hunt for the 9th wielder among the likely candidates at UA; the first years and Lemillion, Nighteye’s intern. In the process they’ll figure out it’s Deku and the truth will be revealed to all pertinent characters, making Deku the target of PLF trying to harvest OFA for their own control.

#my hero academia #midoriya izuku #katsuki bakugou #bakugou's hero name #tomura shigaraki #shigaraki tomura #hawks #mha hawks #best jeanist #one for all #all for one #nana shimura #tenko shimura #ua traitor theory #dad for one #ujiko

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thestarwrites · 4 years

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All Right, All Might: Ch. 3

Word Count: 2,142

Rating: PG

Painting: Toshinori Yagi X FemOC

The UA Guidance Counselor, a quirk user with Pathokenesis, is shocked to find out her personal hero All Might is coming to be a teacher. The road they walk as a parallel starts to merge and there’s no telling what could happen.

CHAPTER THREE: UA HIGH SCHOOL ENTRANCE EXAM

For Patho, summer was full of being with and missing Toshinori. They had become dear friends, they texted, talked on the phone - and went out, as friends of course, in his weakened form. Whenever he was on television, she would text him. And when he had a particularly bad fight, he would need to talk through some things.

Summer was drawing to a close, and her second year at UA, and his first, was fast approaching. Entry exams were only a week away. She had been through this once before, but wasn’t installed enough yet to be there.

And then that Saturday;

[Text: Toshinori] Hey! You’ll never guess what I’ve been doing. A smile crossed her lips.

[Text: Keri] Eating copious amounts of ice cream, even though your stomach can’t take it and it’ll make you ill?

[Text: Toshinori] No…. [Text: Toshinori] I wouldn’t do that. [Text: Toshinori] You can’t prove i’ve ever done that…

[Text:Keri] :P What have you been doing?

[Text: Toshinori] I found a successor! I’ve been training him! You’d love him.

[Text:Keri] As much as you?

[Text:Toshinori] More.

[Text:Keri] I doubt it, Tosh.

[Text:Toshinori] Do you want to meet him? He’s going to be taking the entrance exam. He cries a lot, he’s a really sensitive kid! His name is Izuku Midoriya! He’s this quirk-less kid, and he’s so brave, Ree.

[Text:Keri] I would love to meet him.

[Text:Toshinori] C: !! The three of us can meet for lunch tomorrow??? Pleeeaseee say yes!

[Text:Keri] Okay okay, don’t get all mopey like you get.

[Text:Toshinori] I have never been mopey in my life.

[Text:Keri] Now THAT is the biggest lie I have ever heard. [Text:Keri] You’re mopey all the time. [Text:Keri] I’ll see you tomorrow, goon.

His last text message was a big emoji of his All Might form, giving a grin and a big thumbs up. Shaking her head she smiled, “He’s such an idiot.”

ACROSS TOWN…

“I AM HERE—“ All Might burst out from an alley in front of Deku, “—YOUNG MIDORIYA!”

“AH! All might!! What are you doing here!?” He was dressed in sweats, he had been out running.

He grinned and then coughed out blood, shrinking into small-might, “I came to see if you wanted to go to lunch tomorrow, with me and another teacher at UA? I’d like for you to meet her, she’s a dear friend of mine.”

“You… want me to meet a friend of yours, All Might?”

He laughed, “Of course I do, young man. You’re my successor! And besides - she’s a great pro hero herself!”

“Wh-who is she!?” Deku’s eyes shone, thinking of the possibilities of who they could be. How strong this woman might be, what he might learn from her.

He pulled his hand to his chest, “Her hero name is Patho!”

Deku blinked and wet his lips, “The support hero? I didn’t even know you’d be acquainted with her, she’s not on many crime scenes- only natural disasters and emergencies…”

Toshinori turned, “She is a very dear friend. And she has an incredible quirk!” He huffed, “She is as passionate to help as you are, and I thought you two would get along. I want you to have a safe place to go in school if you get into UA- sometimes I wont be around, or I’ll be teaching. And besides, she knows about you, and my secret.”

“Ah- she knows? Wow… she must be really important to you, All Might.”

He blushed and cleared his throat, “Yes! As a friend!”

“You said that like three times…” He blinked.

“BECAUSE I MEAN IT. OKAY, I’ll see you tomorrow? We’ll go get lunch after our morning training! Don’t be late, young man.”

“Yes sir!” Deku nodded fiercely as he turned back into All Might and flew away.

——

Keri sat at a table outdoors at a cute little cafe her and Toshinori frequented when he needed to talk. Yawning slightly, she adjusted her UA hoodie, pulling her long hair into a side ponytail as she waited for her friend to show up with his protege.

“Hey!” A familiar voice called out, and when she looked up there he was, tall as a tree, with a boy with green hair. That must be Izuku.

Standing up when they got close she smiled, only a few inches taller than Deku, “You must be Izuku,” she held out her hand, “It’s an honor to meet you, I’m Keri Chairo.”

Izuku looked at her and smiled, shaking her hand, “The honor’s mine, Miss Chairo! It’s so amazing to meet a hero like you!”

Blushing she shot a look up to Toshinori who was beaming with pride, “You must be hungry! I’m sure Toshinori is a slave driver. Lunch is on me today, boys.”

“Oh!! Oh no you don’t have to —“ Izuku started.

“It’s my pleasure,” Keri smirked sincerely before pointing a look at All Might, “And don’t you even try to protest, I swear to god.”

He grunted and hung his head, “It’s like you can read my mind, I swear.”

Deku laughed softly and bowed, “Thank you…” When she sat down, he moved to sit and looked at All Might, who finally sat, “Your name is Toshinori?”

All Might looked to him, then to Keri and nodded, “Toshinori Yagi.” He smiled a bit, “So, Keri, this is Izuku Midoriya, who is as courageous and kind as anyone could be.”

The boys face turned bright red and the woman smiled, “I’d take that as gold, kid, Toshi is very high in his ideals - which - you no doubt know. You’re going to make a great addition to UA high.”

“I - I don’t even know how I’m going to get in but…”

Keri shushed him, “Toshi believes in you, and so I believe in you - you’ll be in classes come the fall, I’m sure. I bet we can expect great things from you.”

Deku felt his eyes water and he sniffed, “Thank you Miss Chairo…”

“This deserves a celebratory lunch! Pick whatever you want — Toshi don’t even think about picking anything with milk.”

The number one pro hero threw his hands up, “God, woman! You never let me do anything!”

For the next week, Keri didn’t see All Might at all. He went radio silent. She tried to reassure herself if was because he was so busy with training Izuku and getting settled with the High School for teaching. Though her anxiety was trying to tell her he was done with her. Shaking it off she went about her days, trying to get her own office together and go over how she was going to deal with being at the practical exam.

——

The day finally arrived. The UA Entrance Exam.

The teachers were all seated comfortably in the examination booth, all of the young hopefuls ready to tackle a simulated villain attack with robots. Keri took the seat beside All Might - noticing his hands trembling, she moved to take the one closest to her in the dark. He didn’t turn his head to look at her, but he did lace her fingers with his own to steady himself.

Toshinori felt her confidence radiating through him — he could get addicted to her quirk.

The others started, most of them quickly racking up points stopping robot after robot, while Deku looked around worried. She stroked her thumb across Toshinori’s skin, trying to calm his nerves.

“At this rate there won’t be any enemies left—“ He grunted under his breath.

She leaned close and whispered, “Give Izuku some time.”

Across the room, Midnight smirked and leaned into Aizawa, “Patho has gotten mighty cozy with All Might over the summer, wouldn’t you say, Eraser?”

He groaned, “Oh my god, I don’t care.”

“Do you think they’re a hot item? They’re holding hands.”

“Watch the mock-battle!” He grunted again, eyes never leaving the field.

“Clearly the examinees have no idea how many villains are on the field,” Principal Nezu began, “So they have to cover a vast area in a short amount of time… some are information gathering, some are focusing on raw speed and power, and some are remaining calm under pressure — all these are valuable and the students who implement them all will rack up the most points.” He punctuated his little speech with a nod.

“I’d say this years group looks very promising,” purred Midnight.

“Well,” Ectoplasm smirked, “There’s still plenty of time left before this is all over… let’s see how they react to this,” and with that he pressed a red button in the examination chamber.

Toshinori tensed, “Come on Midoriya.”

The events that unfolded with the zero-point robot were too horrific for Keri to take. She jumped out of her chair, “NEZU YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING— HE’S GOING TO KILL HIMSELF.”

All of the teachers sat frozen as they watched Izuku fall from the height of a skyscraper toward the ground. Keri ran to the window, gripping her hands together. Toshinori sat motionless, watching with horror - would the 9th wilder of One-for-all die before he even began?

The redhead— she saved him.

“TIME’S UP!!!!” Present Mike called out.

Just like that, it was over.

Keri moved to tear ass down to the battlefield, but when she had gotten into the stairwell away from the other teachers, she was grabbed by All Might in his full form, “PATHO, RESTRAIN YOURSELF.”

“He’s HURT, Toshinori! You’re responsible for—“ She had tears in her eyes.

His face for the first time since he met her, looked angry, “Midoriya knew what he was getting himself into.”

“NO! HE DIDN’T! YOU DIDN’T EVEN GIVE HIM ENOUGH TIME TO KNOW HIS LIMITS! HOW COULD YOU!” She let her tears fall, “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT PEOPLE!”

He grunted and pulled away, “How could you accuse me or not caring?” He looked, hurt, “YOU of all people—“ He stepped back again, “I warned him not to act like a pro. I told him there was severe physical backlash. If you run out there now like a frightened CHILD, that’s what you will be to these students!”

She stared at him, embarrassed and angry.

“If you run out there, you will ruin what Izuku has done for himself!” He grunted, “I stopped you because I value you and him. But I guess despite all of your schooling, you can’t see that. You just see what you want to see, like everyone else. I thought you were different.”

Keri wiped her eyes, “If that’s what you want to see, Toshinori Yagi, then that’s what you see. I’m out of here.” She turned and started down the stairs, “You introduced me to Izuku, you made sure I had a vested interest in him, and now you don’t want me to feel the need to run to his aid when he has two broken fucking legs and a broken arm? You want us to be friends? Have fun with the rest of the teaching staff, this child is going home.”

All Might slammed his fist into a railing once she was out of sight, warping it almost to the ground. He felt blood in his throat, and he de-muscled as he coughed, holding onto the warped railing. Pulling out the handkerchief in his pocket to wipe his mouth he looked down at it a moment — at the K in the corner. His heart ached in his chest as he squeezed his eyes shut. He had to go back into the examination room — cover for her.

Wiping the blood from his lips, he went back in, “Patho has decided to head home, start working on her strategy with the students for when they start in a few weeks.”

Nezu nodded, he of course had heard the fight in the hall- they all had. It was better not to bring it up, “I’ll give her a phone call later so I can discuss it with her.” He gave a smile.

Toshi stuffed the soiled woman’s handkerchief in his pants pocket and sat down in his seat miserably as he watched Recovery Girl kiss young Midoriya better.

When Keri got home, she slammed her door shut, throwing her bag and shoes and some other things around before collapsing on the sofa in tears.

I thought you were different.

She clenched her teeth and curled into a ball, everything that happened in that wonderful summer - was their friendship over? Were things with her and All Might through? She wanted to text him, but she couldn’t. She said awful things to him, but he said just as awful things back to her.

There were two weeks before school started, and in that time, Keri and Toshinori did not speak. He was radio silent. But this time, she knew it was her fault.

#all might x oc #toshinori x oc #toshinori yagi #tw: argument #my hero academia fanfiction

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emsartwork · 5 years

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Magic Masterpost

ok this is gonna be super long so under the cut

OK so these are the main four types of magic, magic can mostly be categorized into these four types but there are some exceptions that don’t fit the mold but there are still sciencey things we cant explain so (ball lighting, the 9th planet etc) so whatever.

Core Magic is like another organ that belongs to individual beinigs that have a certain level of consciousness (humans, merfolk, elves, pixies and sprites, leprechauns, dragons) some beings that don’t have core magic, but do have the same level of consciousness as humans are discriminated against (trogs, vampires, ogres, trolls etc). Animals and plants do not posses core magic or the consciousness level characteristic of core magic users. They do sometimes have magical abilities but this is thought to be a side affect of either wild or natural magic sources.

Natural Magic is magic that is found in plants, minerals, water, and other non-conscious things. Usually is centrally localized and flows outward like a stream. has a large area of influence and natural sources can interact with each other with minimal conflict. good examples are the Tree of Magic(birthplace of the pixies and sprites and is linked to the core magic users in the universe), the Second Sun of Solaria(a source of warmth, solar light, and growth on Solaria), the pillars in the Infinite Ocean, Tir Nan Og and the sources I talked about with the earth fairies. Planets have a lot of natural sources and locations with out natural magic are rare(the wildlands in season 2 are unique to Magix and have a special magic suppressing aura)

Wild Magic is connected to natural magic but has its own unique section because its effects are so extreme. Natural sources can become wild sources in a defense mechanism, and some natural sources have a dependable cycle between wild and natural(ex. zenith’s core). Otherwise Wild sources are centrally localized around the same objects natural sources are, but can transfer to spirits and animals as well. Wild magic has a much smaller area of influence, and most animals will clear out of a place with a lot of wild magic because their instincts are like “danger????”, there are rarely multiple wild magic sources in the same area, and if there are they don’t interact well. Wild magic sources are a necessary part of nature, functioning like volcanic eruptions or geysers and relieving magical pressure on the planet. If a wild source isn’t treated with respect and is messed with (ex kalshara) it becomes severely unstable and instead of a potentially dangerous source in small doses it become a downright hazard with far reaching bolts of magic. This is the only reason Fractix exist lol.

Ethereal Magic is something you do not want to mess with. It’s basically the most powerful type of magic, and is theorized to be the actual creative force behind the universe. The great dragon and the shadow phoenix used up most of their ethereal magic creating the universe, other ethereal magic holders didn’t participate much lol

This chart says human but really its the development of any creature with a core magic. Babies have zero magic but needs ambient magic (a mix of all the magics just kind of around) in order to develop further(0-10). Children will start to develop their magic in short, unpredictable bursts, its normal for their signature color to shift a lot in this stage, they can begin to learn magic theory but their magic isn’t firm enough or powerful enough to produce any results when spell casting (10-15). Young adults are fully developed magic wise (generally they are still younger age wise and not as practiced but their Core is the same as any adults) their core and signature color are set and don’t really change(exceptions to that below) this is usually when a person begins to practice their magic.(16-25)

Ok so here are the basic differences between female and male magic. female magic stays within the core and body, only reaching outward when directed by the person. Male magic absorbs ambient magic, processing it through the core and letting it flow outward. Female magic users need to learn how to direct their magic outward in order to use it. Male magic users need to learn how to contain their magic in order to use it. its really easy to overwhelm female magic users and fights between two female magic users are either over v quickly, or have a TON of dodging. A fight between two male magic uses is dependant on how much magic the two already have stored (stamina kind of) and how much they can force themselves to absorb from their surroundings(ex, Nabu was naturally more resilient to absorbing and channeling magic than the rest of the group which is why he volunteers to close the black circle, unfortuntely the wizards had packed SO MUCH magic into their circle that when he did manage to close it, his core was overwhelmed and he died :( if say, aisha had volunteered to close it, her core would have been overwhelmed more quickly and she would have died with out closing it.

Intersex peeps!!! ok so, just as a disclaimer, I’m not intersex, if you wanna talk to me about anything I say here feel free to send and ask for direct message!! it would be really easy to align Core magic with sex organs, but because one is more “spiritual” an the other is physical its a little different. Intersex people are Intersex from birth, but Intersex Magics only manifest at magic puberty(the child stage in the previous chart) and varies a lot from person to person. An intersex person could have either classically female magic or classically male magic or any of the four examples in the image, but any number of manifestations are possible. So I know Intersex people are subjected to unnecessary “corrections”, but i want to make it clear that Intersex Magic is ONLY changed if it is actually causing harm to the person. The painful and dangerous examples are life threatening in the long term, and usually begin as one of the healthy examples. Being able to produce and absorb, but looping the two into each other is unsafe because the core is literally eating itself(eventually resulting in death). Being to absorb but not expel is dangerous because the magic buildup can cause pain and eventually crack the outer membrane of the core resulting in death.

Trans peeps!! again as a disclaimer, I’m cis, if ur trans and ya wanna drop me a line about any of this please do! So Trans dudes and trans ladies have to wait for their core magic to grow in naturally before transitioning(some trans peeps are cool with not transitioning their magic obvi) but they would see a magic medical person, receive “hormones for magic basically” and begin transitioning. The whole process can take about a year but only about 4 months of that leave the person with low magic and physical weakness, and even then it depends on the person.

So these are the traditionally masculine magical practices. Unlike witches and fairies they don’t decide their practice until they’ve gone through basic training (the white, grey and black stages) and it most depends on what magic the person likes to absorb and where/how they store collected magic. Male magic users can use fairy transformations, but they have to be much more prepared and keep a lot of stored magic on them.

The fairy and witch paths are traditionally feminine, but the labels can be used by any gender obvi(same with the masc magic user labels). The witch path has two stages before deciding their profession, and the outfits are just uniforms or items associated with the profession. The fairy transformations are outfits specific to the transformations and are linked together in a way that makes it necessary to earn certain transformations before others, where as witches can jump professions as much as they want lol. The purple transformations here are the ones the trix used, and while they aren’t fairy(because no wings) they aren’t witch either because the transformation actually generates the outfits, they’re kind of shunned among both communities even though they have tremendous potential and should be explored. Reaching Enchantix can only take 3 years at the shortest, but a lot of fairies prefer to spend 2 year reaching charmix, and then 3 years working up to enchantix(so a total of 5 years is an alfea norm). Witchcraft takes a lot longer to learn and doesn’t have the instant power boost fairycraft has, so each of the first three stages take 2-3 years(6 to 9 years is a cloudtower norm) this time frame also applies to the masculine magics, but usually the last half of it is the specialization(ex, nabu spent three years in white/grey/black and then was in his second year of specialization as a magician when he was introduced into the series.)

So because magic is being pushed out of the core for female magic users, it shows up physically on the body in a way that doesn’t seem to happen with male magic users. For female magic users who DON’T use fairy transformations this generally shows up in color around the eyes or hands. which is generally where most of the magic flows from. for fairies, wings marks are present on the back and are more individualized pattern wise but more natural color wise than witchmarks.

Fairy wings are solid/rubbery, and are the physical manifestation of a fairy’s core looping in on its self(think of a car battery). Once initiated, the fairy can stay in transformation for a fairly long time, but does eventually tire out, and the loop dissolves. However if the loop is broken too abruptly or by an outside force there can be negative results for the fairy(namely pain and magic blockage preventing transformation for a couple months to several years depending on how bad the break was). The wing retains its shape for about 24 hours, and then dissolves into ambient magic. If a fairy breaks her wings by a freak accident she can combat some of the magic blockage by eating her own wings(kind of gross sry lol). If however some one else eats the fairy’s wings they gain a magic boost and can unnaturally extend their life/keep their youth full looks(ex. the wizards of the black circle did this)

one of the manifestations of mer core magic is Morphix (yes aisha has this too) while it is considered a magic property, its technically a physical substance that conducts magic EXTREMELY well. Merfolk are usually not allowed to go to the surface until their morphix has grown in, and people with high levels of merblood in them often have to be in a very humid environment or literally spent most of their time in saltwater until their morphix grown in(ex. aisha had to have salt water baths every couple hours as a kid.)

Elves are another notable difference in core magic in that they are all linked to eachother. While this doesn’t transfer individual thoughts or damage or anything, it does allow individual elves to pull magic from elves who aren’t currently using their magic for more powerful spells. Elves can also sense large scale events that happen to the elf community as they happen but rarely are they clear on specifics(ex. when the ancestrals pulled all of domino into oblivion, the elves on other planets could feel the sudden disappearance) as a result Dominian elves are basically a seperate group now. Earth elves still have a loose connection to the elf community at large, and as earth enters into the magix dimension again they should strengthen it as elves marry and have offspring.

Pixies, Hobkies, and Sprites! So because i detailed intersex magix, I also wanted a companion species that represented intersex peeps. Pixies are born from the blossoms of the tree of life, Hobkies are from the trunk and somtimes branches, and Sprites from the roots. Hobkies used to just be called Sprixies, but people are pushing to have that changed as its just a combo of sprite and pixie and not unique to the species. Their wing and tail sizes are varied, but they usually have both, sometimes the wings are fleshy insect style wings, and sometimes the tail is made of the same stuff as magic.

Each species goes through a similar cycle, when a person is born a corresponding spot appears on the tree of magic, as the person grows their magic levels the spot gets bigger, once a certain level of magic is reached the companion is officially born. This happens for fairies at their first transformation, but depend on routine practice for everybody else.

One of the unique things about Natural magic is that people can actually bind their magic to it. Female magic users reach out with their magic and “tie” it to the magic thats stemming from the source. Male magic users form a loop with the source pouring magic in and absorbing magic out. forgot to draw it but Intersex peoples would use about the same techniques, it would just depend on what they leaned more toward/what they were more comfortable with.

Animals, having no core magic, are able to metabolize and evolve with exposure to wild magic unlike humans who’s core magic either flushes the wild magic out like a toxin or breaks(killing the human in the process). Kalshara is actually quite a revolutionary because she figure out a way to inject the human body/core with wild magic, with out her dying or the wild magic dissolving. but she’s a dick and didn’t respect people so her project never got financed or peer reviewed lol

ethereal fairies technically have a core, but because its made of ethereal magic they’re put into their own separate category. They seem to exist outside of time and space, and it’s unknown if its because of their nature or because they can wield ethereal magic. Ethereal fairies usually appear with a humanoid body and spears of light off their backs, which is why human fairies are even called fairies, but ethereal fairies come in a lot of different forms(they’re basically a cross between gods and high high fae). The three gifts can be used every 300 years, and are little bursts of ethereal magic that layers over whatever magic the recipient normally uses. It is unknown if the gifts grow somewhere, or if they are crafted by the ethereal fairies. Really powerful magic users sometimes get chosen to join the golden kingdom (whether they want to or not) usually these are “good” aligned people but some villains are theorized to be there too. The general consensus is that the golden kingdom is like a pet palace for the ethereal fairies who think the people people the put there are interesting little creatures. The ethereal fairies use to interact with people more frequently but have backed off in the last couple 1000. Fairies who have completed the Elementix can ask the ethereal fairies to give them Nymphix, but honestly there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme of reason to whether or not the ethereal fairies grant it or strip the person of their magic completely . Ethereal fairies also grant their power to non-fairies but it doesn’t manifest into a transformation. and usually the term “Ethereal” is put before their title (so like Griffin would be an Ethereal Sorceress.)

not much to say about these things. A long long time ago a massive dark spell was cast and created both Obsidian and Realite(i got tired of the “ix” so its “ite” now) Two pocket dimensions. Realite was originally the greater threat because it was just spewing magic everywhere so it was locked with the codex. Obsidian was originally thought to have only sucked magic in, but there have been some long term consequences that weren’t expected, one was the mutation of a dominion noble into Lord Darkar, the other was the slow death of planet Omega and the radiation effect on the three ancestral witches who were born there. (realite was locked so fast it didn’t have time to get any long term damage out in the world but its just as powerful)

so the dragon and the phoenix are *kind* of still ethereal which is why they’ve persisted as a power source and taken to specific bloodlines, but they aren’t anywhere near the full ethereal ones anymore. Dragon fire and Phoenix fire are two sides of the same coin, they kind of function as the equal opposite rule but not really. Their equal opposites are the water stars and the earth hearts respectively. The dragon flame bearer usually has light and creation powers, Bloom generally channels the fire aspect of her dragon flame, like hardcore. Daphne, when she held the dragon flame was less heavy on the flame and more on the creation side, she was especially good at summoning items and had a decent healing talent. The shadow flame bearer has been lord Darkar for..... a very long time lets just say that. But the Phoenix deals with shadow and destructive magic. Stealth, spell breaking, and straight up carnage are all possible magic focuses for a phoenix bearer (the shadow phoenix isn’t necessarily bad, just like the dragon flame isn’t necessarily good, they are attributes that change with the people they are tied to). The water stars were collected and stored in the golden kingdom a long time ago and as such don’t have a ton of lore. Bloom CANNOT touch them with out feeling at least mild pain and weakness. The water stars have incredible containment powers, being able to hold things within individual stars, and restrain a full powered dragon flame if used all together in a binding circle. The Earth Hearts are still in nature somewhere, buried deep in the ground. There are some theorized locations but they’re harder to get at than the water stars and as such no one has collected them all yet. Earth hearts are good for dispersing magic and breaking it down to bite sized pieces. Both Earth Hearts and Water Stars are technically destructible, but they will always “grow back” and regenerate in new locations and cannot be eradicated completely.

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ill-will-editions · 4 years

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Against Pandemic Capitalism. An Interview with Milan’s Emergency Volunteer Brigades

Interview conducted March 21, 2020.

1. How are you all? Are you managing to keep in touch virtually? Are you still managing to exist as a "group" or to keep to a "common position" despite the isolation?

We are fine. The situation here in Milan has been building into a crescendo. After February 23rd, there were weeks of uncertainty, during which there were contradictory orders from the government. During the first week the government closed some businesses, then they reopened them; later the awareness of the epidemic grew, and the more drastic measures were then applied. Now that everyone is pretty much isolated, although we are keeping in touch with each other frequently, it is more complicated to come up with common positions and to exist as a group. At the same time, various communication channels and types of reflection and action have opened up, yes. Some of us have focused more on the conditions in prisons, while others are engaged in translating or sharing thoughts. Some others converged in the local Solidarity Brigades, and others are looking for more contacts with comrades abroad to have a broader picture of the situation.

At the beginning everyone had their own perception of things; there were those who panicked and those who claimed that it was yet another way to instill fear in the population, since in any case politicians and medical experts seemed to espouse different opinions. From the governor of Lombardy, who published a selfie video locked in his house with a mask, to the mayor of Milan, who made a video entitled #milanononsiferma (#milanwillnotclose), in which he tries to show that the hyperproductive city would keep going; to virologists, who were insulting each other on various TV programs. Then the number of infected increased and the red zone was extended from Codogno (where the so-called “patient zero” was found) to the whole of Lombardy. People started to develop a different perception of risk: by that point, we all knew someone who had been infected. As I mentioned, nobody had really understood what was happening and we continued our everyday collective routines (collective football training, meetings, assemblies, and so on). From March 9th, the government took a unified national approach; the red zone was extended across the whole of Italy. Orders were given not to leave the house, unless you had a certificate provided by the authorities. The restrictions have been very strict: an evening curfew begins at 6pm is in place. Since then, all of Italy has been “online”.

Many initiatives were born, from tutorials about how to defend against COVID-19, to new radio and streaming sites, meetings (especially on Zoom) filled with people who often have never even met, some from all over the world. The absurdity of it is that we are experiencing a more conscious use of our devices. While before we perceived them as instruments of alienation and distraction, we now use them better as ways of sharing knowledge.

As for our group, we had been facing a period of great fragmentation. Ironically, the work of the brigades and the presence of a common but invisible enemy now involves everyone, since we are all touched by the same problem.

2. What is the situation in working-class neighbourhoods? How are the cops and the army behaving? In Milan, as we know, the police are generally very aggressive, but their attitude can change according to zone, acting civil enough and "teacherly" in more well-to-do neighbourhoods, and with the arrogant and violent "colonizing" approach in more working-class neighbourhoods.

The situation in the working-class districts of Milan changes depending on the area. In the densely-populated areas, filled with small and overcrowded houses, and mainly inhabited by foreigners, life continues to take place in the streets. Walking around in neighbourhoods like Giambellino or via Padova, you might see smaller food shops still open, creating spaces to meet for people who seem unconcerned with the directions issued by the authorities to stay at home. The police patrol the streets, but not in an overly dominating fashion, mostly trying to limit these numerous gatherings. The army was already present in some areas with an anti-terrorist function. Since the 23rd of March we've seen their number increasing and they have begun to patrol as public officials with the possibility of stopping and asking for documents or ID. It seems that for now, they don’t seem particularly comfortable in this role, showing a certain reluctance in being aggressive. In neighbourhoods where the presence of the police is usually regarded with hostility, the discouragement of gatherings and “dangerous” kinds of behaviour becomes difficult to put into practice.

Other working-class neighbourhoods on the outskirts, where people normally only go home to sleep, seem deserted. After the closing of the shops inside the shopping centres (the only places in these areas where social life takes place), life has died out, and everyone hides in their own apartments. In the last few days, media-induced fears of the dangers of walking and doing sports in parks have spread, with people looking out from their balconies and railing against neighbours who go out to take a walk in the yard, or even call the police.

And it’s obvious that the slogan #iorestoacasa (#Istayathome) is not considered relevant to everyone. Those who can afford to pay rent and have a job are locked in their homes, doing online shopping, while the rest of the population, either precarious or unemployed, working in logistics or infrastructure, experience a quite different situation. A very wide gap between the classes has opened. Confindustria (General Confederation of Italian Industry) forced workers to keep on working in factories without any health and safety precautions.

So in working-class neighbourhoods, many people are continuing to work. The increase of police and military in the streets is considerable but there isn’t a huge gap between neighborhoods: they are simply everywhere. We are seeing another phenomenon too, which is the becoming-policemen of normal citizens, which is perhaps stronger in bourgeois residential areas: there have been many episodes of people denouncing others to the police, or just people shouting “Go home!” to people walking in the street. Those who have been most affected by these severe measures have been homeless people and migrants.

3. How do the volunteer Brigades work? How do you handle the relationship between institutions (the state, local council, NGOs…)? How do you train those who participate? Where did the idea originate? How many people are involved? Are you trying to extend the idea to the whole of Italy?

The Brigades were born out of an idea that circulated as word of mouth on social media and it quickly became viral. The idea which came out of it is that we can obviously talk about who are responsible for all this, and they will have to pay the consequences, but in our current situation in which there is a diffuse sense of fear among people, we have to look out for the community, especially those of us who have experience with many different forms of organization, since we have learned in these years to manage with “extreme” situations, to act with courage, for the sake of everyone. We were inspired by several examples of mutual aid and organizations which worked throughout Italy after the earthquakes in the center of Italy (in the 2000s).

We understood pretty quickly that this situation was much larger than us, and that it wouldn’t be sufficient to do things autonomously or even on the national level, so that we would be vulnerable from multiple sides, especially vis-a-vis repression. If you’re found out of your house without any particular reason they can sanction you.

We looked for an organization that could give us the possibility of having an official status, and found Emergency, the humanitarian organization which provides aid in war situations and which has its offices in Milan. Through this we were able to construct an infrastructure which legitimates us and which mediates between us and the Milan local council. In the same way that we created the “Brigades” through our personal involvement, which began from social media and word-of-mouth, we also found individuals for each area to coordinate the groups. This structure has organized training sessions, first of all for the group leaders, who in turn started training the people in their own groups. The structure also allowed us to have passes in order to be able to move around the city freely. Currently we have more than 200 volunteers and many people on the waiting list to be trained and many others who continue to write saying that they would like to join. We are managing to cover all the 9 districts of Milan and the calls are increasing daily. In some areas we are connected to social centers or self-organized spaces which make up the base of the Brigades.

Our structures are being tested daily but it is still small and spread out, and we are being contacted by people from other parts of Italy who are beginning to organize themselves in the same way. Our goal is to create an infrastructure across the whole of Italy.

4. Can you update us on the situation in the prisons? Are there ways to stay in contact with people inside? (Here they gave a “bonus” of €40 for every inmate, which allow them to make more phone calls, and they gave free TV access to everyone, hoping in this way to placate unrest)

After the riots, and the deaths in prison, and the first case of Covid-19 in the Voghera prison, the “Cura Italia” (“Heal Italy”) decree established new orders on how to confront the pandemic in penitentiary institutions: house arrest and electronic tags for those serving less than 18 months; those under 6 months and minors are to be directly sent home, without tags.

Beyond this, it was established that those accused of having participated in the revolts of March 9th/10th will not be allowed to benefit from these alternative measures. Following the protests many sections were destroyed, and for this reason there has been a decrease of 2000 prison places, due to works that have to be carried out immediately.

News reached us (from allies and family members) of many reprisals in the Opera prison: the inmates report going hungry and fearing for themselves, they describe being denied TV, food, showers, phone calls; having only half an hour of air, and being beaten, hands and bones broken; “riot police entered the cells and beat us up in the dark”; the guards took away cooking materials and gave the inmates only water and cigarettes.

After the events of March many inmates were separated in order to put down the unrest; this was the case in Ferrara and Alessandria; 60 inmates in Melfi, 500 in Modena, 107 in Foggia, and 60 in Naples, were transported on a military boat belonging to the Italian navy to the correctional facility on the island of Procida; 650 from Poggioreale were separated and put into different jails in Brindisi, Messina, Bari, Lagonegro, Melfi, Potenza and Reggio Calabria.

Day after day the numbers of guards and inmates infected and testing positive increases.

At this link you can find the account of Nicoletta Dosio on the situation in the prison of Vallette in Turin here [in Italian].

5. Do you have any advice on how to manage – emotionally, psychologically – the fact of having to stay inside all the time? Here it is only the third day and many are still experiencing it almost as though it were a game. What are your reflections after ten days?

The first thing we believe is important is not to allow oneself to be infantilized, but to assume responsibility. Despite the state wanting the former, it is important to understand that this situation concerns us all, our loved ones, and the more vulnerable members of our society both on the social and physical level. Staying inside all the time with this awareness can really notably help our sense of self-discipline. Moreover, moments like these, which people who have experienced house arrests know well, are moments to keep oneself occupied to the utmost. It is almost redundant to say: study, train, reflect. In the end I maintain that it is important to treat it as a kind of “suspended time” when we can finally concentrate on our collective strategies (or the lack of these), also in the light of recent events, without the stress or the lack of time caused by the frenetic pace of our normal daily routines (work, militancy, etc.)

At first it seems like a game, especially for the many of us who have for a long time been trying to flee hyper-productivity. We have found ourselves obviously amused by the hysteria of people, who in the first hours became enraged at supermarkets and shops who sold face masks. Added to this is the sensation of living in an episode of Black Mirror – the streets are empty and the few people on the streets are walking around with masks on.

At first we passed the time reading, discovering things on the internet or having dinners restricted to a small number of friends, where obviously the main theme of discussion was the virus. Slowly as the days passed we began to understand the seriousness of what was happening: people are now all stuck at home and our contact with the outside world has been reduced to three or four people, which is, the people we were always in contact with. Further contact was avoided for good reason, and those with family over a certain age stopped all contact with others. For now, on the emotional and psychological level we keep struggling, perhaps because the Brigades give a practical sense to these days, and also because we are seeing the exasperating effects of the virus on capitalism: people fighting outside supermarkets in queues, or because social distancing is not being kept up, or other kinds of unrestrained egotism.

At this point the question has a global importance and we have the possibility to turn this into a potential and to grow the network we have been building for years, though, on the other hand, power also has this potential. It is not incidental that in these days we have been able to have virtual assemblies with comrades from many different places, where we have been able to discuss the experience of the Brigades.

The idea is that when our methods will have been tested a little we will also be able to go further than just helping out those who need it most. Maybe one day on the streets there will only be the brigades and the police and this could be an interesting scenario. We have to consider however that the state and global capitalism are using this moment as a kind of experiment on a massive scale and we cannot underestimate this; we have to remain attentive and to study the movements of power to try to understand what will happen afterwards. Perhaps certain things could enter into the daily lives of people, for example this question of sociality and work. The experiment that is happening is moving on different levels; from the repression of those who leave the house to “tele-working”, the many working from home. Schools are continuing to conduct courses online, thus in part people at home are being employed to “produce” in a new way.

Further, the virus, being immaterial and invisible, seems insurmountable and so it legitimates the state even more to project a voice that everyone necessarily listens to, keeping us all suspended since no one has any idea when this will end. There is an extreme pressure exerted upon individual responsibility so as to move away from all kind of social tension which might allow a realization of who the real people responsible for this are.

It’s a strange feeling leaving the house alone to go to the supermarket. Even if people don’t talk to one another, many people exchange complicit looks, since we all now have this in common, even if we’ve never known these people as friends, in the sense that they’ve never been this side of the barricade. This should make us reflect. We have to remain immersed in this situation and be strong in order to turn the situation in the right direction when the time comes.

6. Given that protests, demonstrations, and street presence are now impossible, what are ways of maintaining pressure on the authorities, in order to give voice to objections to the discourse that says “let’s save the economy at all costs”?

In this respect the most combative elements have been the militant unions such as SI COBAS (a small communist union operating on the national level), which are also the most directly involved given that, as we said, the majority of factories remain open undisturbed, in flagrant disregard of all the warnings to stay at home. So the voice of opposition has for now been principally represented by strikes, in which however, most of us don’t have the occasion to physically participate. The situation in prisons is different; groups of comrades are trying to get organised even if also here the difficulties are not at all few. After the first wave of protests in prisons, protests are continuing but they have been repressed with impunity, and the main task now is getting news out from inside, and to circulate it as much as possible.

We have to take account of people’s emotional reactions to what is happening, and acknowledge those people who have lost a relative or loved one to the virus. It’s difficult to imagine a movement exploding as yet, in this context. On top of this there is the fact that in Italy over the last years movements have suffered many setbacks and steps backward in terms of confronting power, and there is no united front, nor strong position from which to begin. Everything is very fragmented and so what we manage to bring forwards in struggle is a reflection of this pacification.

One practical example was the 8th of March – the global trans-feminist strike. Already being in the period of the quarantine we had to think what actions people could do. Hundreds of initiatives came about around the city; a new radio program, and many actions, from banners and posters, to writing, to whatever other form of protest which allowed people to feel involved. But nothing that meant direct conflict.

It’s moreover clear that contradictions have emerged; from one side the politicians who have made many gross errors, the public health system which is falling apart (as a result of the cuts over the last years), the fact of the middle class being at home, while delivery workers are in the streets delivering food, Confindustria deciding not to close down production and the larger unions which are playing around, the logistics workers who continue to work without any safety measures, the workers with unprotected faces who are risking their lives; on the other side, the campaign emphasizing individual responsibility of #iorestoacasa (#Istayathome) which is, of course, a way of concealing the truth of the situation.

Anger is coming to the surface, the autonomous unions have begun their strikes and are distributing provisions and masks to those in need, trying to impose a stop on production; the precarious workers have opened disputes in the hope of obtaining an income during the quarantine; and people are making appeals trying to stop online shopping because it puts those people who are making the deliveries at risk. The workers at the Amazon offices in Milan went on strike. As yet it hasn’t been possible to construct a strong position on how to give a positive sense to economic failure. 25 million unemployed people are expected once this is all over, and fear is high. For now it is very difficult but we think that with the work of the brigades it will be possible to construct a strong common position.

7. Have you noticed any new forms of solidarity among generations and in neighborhoods? What’s happening out of town? Do you have any updates from comrades in the countryside?

Our comrades living in the countryside describe a much quieter picture, free from the anxiety about contagion that one feels in the city. It’s easier for people to move around because controls are limited. You can buy food and any kind of “essentials” without difficulty, and farms that are still operating still receive the supplies they need. They’re dealing with labour shortages though.

8. Have there been moments of panic, people fleeing from big cities? Leaving Northern Italy to go south? (We had a huge flow of "bourgeois" migration here. Many people have left to be isolation in more comfortable conditions in their countryside or seaside holiday home – thus threatening remote areas, typically inhabited by the elderly, with the risk of contagion)

Yes, panic broke out on the evening of March 8th. A lot of people took trains from Milan and left Lombardy. All because of leaked news about the government's decision to isolate the region. Obviously, having hundreds of people crammed into a train certainly didn’t help prevent the virus from leaving Lombardy. Sure enough it had the opposite effect, leading to an increasingly higher number of infected people in Southern Italy in the following days. This kind of panic-induced internal migration continued for some days, with such intensity that some Southern regions decided to close their borders. At the beginning many people perceived the quarantine as a holiday, rushing towards ski slopes, beach resorts and second homes.

Yes, as I said, it has been a crescendo. In Northern Italy, for example, the start of quarantine took place when lots of people were on holidays, so many were stuck in the mountains or in their country houses. We witnessed great panic when the government decided to quarantine the whole of Lombardy – creating the so-called “red zone”. When the news came out, there was an exodus. Southern people who work or study in the North traveled back home en masse. This was a totally irresponsible thing to do, insofar as they risked bringing the virus to other areas, especially since young people can be healthy carriers with often no symptoms at all. The sheer selfishness of this gesture brought out all the counter-revolutionary power of the Italian family.

9. How does the contrast between the North and South feel now? Can we say that the tables have turned regarding the famous "Southern question"? Any thoughts?

This is not about the classic, even ironized, North-South opposition. The issue must be considered in relation to the different healthcare systems. Of course, we are not happy that the crisis broke out in the region where we live. Still, Lombardy is the richest region, with the best healthcare system in Italy and probably Europe (despite a succession of administrations cutting its budget). So we can be kind of relieved that it happened here. The Southern healthcare system has many more issues. Some problems are related to the staff, but the biggest issue is the inadequacy of infrastructure. A crisis like the one we’re having in the North would probably have brought the South to its knees.

In the last few days, the number of new patients in other regions – mostly Puglia and Campania, respectively South and Central Italy – has been increasing. We don’t really know how they’re facing the crisis (I mean, whether there is a network of mutual aid organizations and how they work), we’d need to ask people and healthcare personnel in those areas to get a better picture of it.

Some friends and relatives told us they’re very afraid, as though the epidemic had broken out there, as though Bergamo were a Southern city, so they respect the "safety" measures carefully. I don't think we can say the tables have turned on the "Southern question”. Many thought they could get away with leaving the North and going back home as soon as the lockdown was imposed – they proved to be very selfish and harmful to those who had a chance not to be as affected by the epidemic. Because of this grave error we risk having ten Codognos instead of one. People who left the red zones are likely to infect relatives in isolated areas.

There is still a great economic and social divide between the North and the South, we know that pretty well. In Sicily, in Calabria or in Basilicata, people are very aware that hospitals do not have adequate means and tools to face this kind of emergency. As long as people have to stay at home it will be impossible to discuss these issues – we’ll probably have to wait until everything is over.

The North is the new South! Or not. Originally, the North of Italy (great center of production on an international scale) was floored by the epidemic and showed its weaknesses. It became the laughingstock of countries all around the world – nobody accepted tourists or travelers from Northern Italy. A great blow that hurt the pride of the colonizers, who had always been free to roam around the world. For once they found themselves on the ‘not welcome’ list. Obviously the North-South relationship in Italy has changed and become an object of humor. But what is actually very worrying is that the healthcare system in Lombardy, which is despite all one the most efficient in the country, is collapsing. So if the virus were to reach the South, the situation would be truly dramatic.

10. What is the general feeling about what the government is doing? Is it considered partly responsible for the situation, or are its efforts to face the crisis appreciated?

For what our perceptions are worth, the government is generally receiving good support from the people. Prime Minister Conte is considered a wise politician, and the fact that Italy acted immediately and firmly made people forget many doubts they had at the beginning. In fact, until the first weeks of March, most Northern politicians were pressured by business leaders into keeping the borders open and letting Milan run at full capacity. Moreover, the government has taken strong measures concerning healthcare and movement of goods and people, but gave in to the pressure of Confindustria. So big cities are under great restrictions, whereas in the rest of the region industries and businesses, even the non-essential ones, continue their activities adopting only laughable safety measures. No decision has been made on the issue of overcrowded prisons, despite many judges and courts asking for new policies. But people have become more aware of the situation – the current climate of emergency makes everyone more sensitive, even past the issue of hospital capacity. The stern but inspiring campaigns in favor of prisoners have moved many people as well. We should consider in this respect the old nationalist cliché about Italians selflessly coming together during hard times to fight for the community, which has resurfaced in this situation. “Sovereignist” leaders like Salvini and Meloni, surprisingly, are at the moment managing to act under the radar. Their beloved game of finding someone else to blame for every single problem and identifying an enemy cannot be played so easily in times when there are these appeals to unity, so they’re clutching at straws. The feeling is that they’re preparing for the aftermath, when the emergency will be over and we’ll have to rebuild everything from the ground up.

As I said, the situation is controversial. At first the government made some incredible mistakes, and revealed that it wasn’t able to respond to this emergency adequately. We’ve seen this in every crisis that affected the country in the last decades, from the earthquakes in central Italy to the collapse of the Morandi bridge in Genoa. There are many issues we have to deal with, most importantly budget cuts to the healthcare system and the lack of protections for logistics workers. We are talking about people dying here not because they are crushed by a crane, but because they are attacked by a virus, which actually affects everyone without distinction. People are therefore intensely focused on the issue but are “waiting for instructions from above".

Many political collectives have highlighted the link between the capitalist system and the virus, and how it is transmitted. But for the time being, unfortunately, this is all talk, with a kind of academic character, especially given that we can’t even leave our homes.

11. How are people reacting to the plans for generalized digital surveillance (as already implemented in Israel or Iran)? Is it perceived as a "necessary evil"? Are there any ideas to counter these policies? Is the issue being addressed or is the health crisis preventing it?

So far it is not being addressed that much, certainly not at the level of general public opinion. As far as activist groups are concerned, it’s a bit complicated because the debate is now quite mixed up. From the beginning, philosopher Giorgio Agamben focused on the measures relating to the “state of exception”, and their possible consequences. Maybe he did so with a certain smugness and without caring too much about being understood correctly, so he was accused of minimizing the health crisis. The result is that now most of the comrades have slipped into a somewhat sterile debate between supporters and critics of the imposition of the state of exception. The critics accuse the supporters of being too abstract in front of real emergencies such as safety conditions in factories or prisons. As a result, it’s not easy to focus on the whole picture and avoid ideological squabbles.

We can talk about what has been happening in the last weeks. On March 19th, AgCom (national regulatory authorities for Italian communication industries) issued a press release asking social networks like Youtube, Facebook and Twitter to remove videos reporting false information or information from unreliable sources. It is the first time in Italy since 1948 that some fundamental freedoms, such as the freedom of movement, of assembly, and of expression, have been suspended. We will witness the effects of this measure in the upcoming days. The risk is that, the state taking advantage of an "emergency" situation, we could emerge from the catastrophe in much worse cultural conditions than when we entered it.

Personally, I’m very worried about this question. Many people are working from home and online 24/7, and are wondering about the future of our society. We fear that our movements will be GPS-tracked to check who is respecting the quarantine and who is not. On the other hand, many people see this situation as a positive change for the environment – since traffic has slowed, we experienced a significant decrease in air pollution, which is a major issue in Milan. So many now believe that this could also solve other problems. For the time being we need our devices to remain connected, but this situation will certainly have a significant impact on our lives.

12. What’s the general opinion on how other countries are approaching the situation? Were people angry at the thoughtlessness of countries still untouched by the pandemic?

Surely one of the most widespread feelings is disbelief and amazement. Italy had watched from afar the Chinese government dealing with the pandemic, a country that seems far away but is of course not so distant in our globalized world. However, we can’t understand how it is possible that European countries did not act as soon as they sensed what was happening in Italy. The example was there, before everyone's eyes, even sometimes just a few kilometers away. This highlights once again the inadequacy of our leaders as well as our lack of preparation, awareness and independent sources of information.

Anti-European and Eurosceptic feelings are as always resurfacing. Some see the EU as a mindless bloodsucker that refuses to support Italy during this emergency. The best thing is probably the general discredit that people like Trump or Boris Johnson are suffering. In the midst of the crisis, their bullshit now sounds dangerous and crazy even to those who previously admired them as strong and charismatic leaders.

This is significant. We were very angry at first, when we couldn't understand why they kept the information about when the virus first appeared concealed. Many people were disappointed in how Germany and England responded to this emergency. There’s also fear that if the pandemic breaks out in a serious way in the US, a huge number of people will die as a result of the private healthcare system. The only positive news we saw was that Bolsonaro came into contact with someone infected with Covid-19. That could save many more lives! However, at the moment, attention remains focused on our country, with 900 deaths per day and new outbreaks.

13. Can you imagine things on a longer scale? Do you think it’s possible to predict how things will be in the longer term? It almost seems like there will be no return to normality. What do you think will happen in the next few months?

It's hard to say. It’s very difficult to make predictions while all these different newspapers and media throw news at us. It’s hard to reflect while isolated. Everyone knows that the more you stay at home, the less fresh air gets to your head. One day we experience pessimism and the next day hope, or at least you see new chances for some unexpected turn of events. Surely the months to come will be harder and harder. We’ll have to be ready to go out again and see how this situation has changed things. But how they will have changed, as I said, is impossible for us to know.

It's hard to imagine what will happen now because we don't know how long the lockdown will last. The whole world will change for sure. It's also difficult to express “cynical” or critical ideas as many people are very sensitive about the pandemic. Some issues will be affected – the Mediterranean geopolitical scenario, Italy’s alliance with China for the new ‘silk road’ in Africa, the war in Syria that brings millions of migrants to Europe. It is no coincidence that borders are now closed all over the world, this seems to us as well to be a form of experimentation. 10 years ago we were studying the NATO Urban Operations in the Year 2020 report, and now here we are.

An interesting scenario could open up for us. We spent years traveling the world to build networks wherever people tried to confront the government, often getting in trouble with local authorities. Now we are experiencing a worldwide scenario that unites us all, especially in the West. We have the opportunity to create a common model that can apply to many places in the world. Once the emergency is over, that can legitimize us to speak up against those who have created these problems. For the time being, we can’t say what our next steps will be. We know that some activist groups from all over the country are planning to mobilize, inspired by the Volunteer Brigades. In order to create a common trajectory, we will need to connect with this broader viewpoint.

#COVID19 #Italy #solidarity brigades #mutual aid

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mcsmmafia · 4 years

Text

Round IX of MC:SM Mafia 👥

THE 9TH ROUND OF MAFIA

What you did was go exploring and discovering new worlds, new stories. Yet, you never expected to end up in a place as strange as this.

Endermen… just… endermen everywhere! You have never seen anything comparable! Well, besides the end, but… this was a swamp! Anyhow, there was something in the wind. Something familiar, yet so odd… you just couldn’t put your finger on it.

Luckily, as you made your way through the wetland – constantly looking down on your feet to avoid triggering any of these oversensitive social phobics –, you hit your head right into an entrance door of a big mansion. Oh, it should be well lit in there – and that would mean that you could finally lift your head again! Seriously, your neck started to hurt badly.

So you knocked, and to your relief, someone opened it.

A person, completely covered in black and wearing a big, white pumpkin on their head, was this someone. You could see long, vividly red hair coming out of it. It reminded you of something… wait.

You turned around to glance at the swamp you were in- which was a bad idea.

Thousands of endermen were staring at you, as you stared back… your glance captured by theirs… if you would look away just for one second-

"Here, this pumpkin will shield your eyes from meeting the endermen’s!", the resident yelled and put it right on as you continued to stand there, petrified.

It should’ve helped, but… the endermen… just… continued to… to… stare…

"Alright, are you gonna come inside or what?", the resident asked. But you didn’t dare to move.

So they pulled you inside with force, and closed the door behind you.

"There, you’re safe in here. We have food, we have beds, everything you need. I don’t know myself where all these endermen are coming from, they just started to appear out of nowhere this evening… but anyway, do you happen to have a green flint & steel?"

You had to look out of the window – there it was, still watching you.

"Hellooo… are you listening??"

Those magenta, creepy, soul-eating eyes…

"Hey, I’m talking to you, I need the FLINT & STEEL!"

Even though they were not torturing physically, mentally, you could feel your sanity fading away…

"Urgh, FINE! You try one time to be nice, and this is what you get…"

You shrieked and nearly tripped turning around as you heard footsteps – oh, it was from the stranger… as they walked away… wait. The red hair, the mansion in the swamp- this person must be CASSIE ROSE!!! AND THERE WAS NO ESCAPE!!!

Dear guests, it is time. T

o hide.

BEFORE THEY STEAL YOUR SOUL!

But maybe there’s someone else you shouldn’t have triggered…

Story note: Ellegaard finally had managed to craft a command block and after all these years of research and trying, she wanted to try it out so badly – but since the whole wither sturm event, the use of command blocks was banned in her dimension. So, what else to do than visit new dimensions to experiment with her command block!

However, she was really unhappy when she realized that the first world she hopped into was in a swamp, near nightfall… urgh! How she hated these slimes – oh, yes, that’d be the perfect use of her new command block! Just… set the biom to… end… there we go, that should solve the problem!

…Wait, why are suddenly thousands of endermen appearing out of nowhere-

☀ Results of Day 1:

Harper wished everyone a good morning.

🌑 Results of Night 1:

Well, yes, endermen are kinda creepy, but for everyone to be this reticant… they were really overreacting, in Harper’s humble opinion! …Or were they? The more she thought about it, the more unsure she became – and as she peeked outside the window and met an enderman’s eyes, she suddenly was so petrified she couldn’t even move! She loosened from her rigidity when she heard a sardonic meow behind her. Dang it, that darn kitty stayed with her! She tried to pick him up, only for him to leave a quite aching wound on her hands. "Ow! Stupid cat!" Anyway, Winslow being here can’t mean good news, so she stayed alert and ready to fight.

Seriously, though… how rude of everyone! How rude to not answer a simple question, on which CASSIE’s life depended on… Looks like sje had to get the FLINT & STEEL the hard way, so she made her way to the living room and thought about her next action. Not being too glad being all alone, she decided to stake everything on one room: The kitchen. Meanwhile, Winslow would prevent anyone from coming to the entrance hall. It was the perfect plan! …Except that it didn’t work out. Not in the slighest. Dang it!

…Yeah, if anyone caught the wind of Ellegaard’s command block- they would throw them out to deal with them. That could not happen. So she participated in the big silence and sneaked off to the dining room when no one was looking. Luckily, nobody followed her, so she could exhale and… wait, what if someone comes here!? She considered activating a trap, but then again, she didn’t really want to kill someone innocent. But, then again… she needed to defend herself! Although, how would she be able to defend herself when she had to deal with neck tension from sleeping on chairs? And so the decision was made: She would rest well in the bed chamber and deal with all her problems later!

Oh, Gabriel was not scared of no mobs, especially not endermen! But he was kinda intrigued by the idea of just staring at someone the whole night… maybe he should try it for himself? Hopefully Lukas won’t mind if he stared at him for a bit! Lukas sure seemed to be super afraid to sleep in the dark. "You can’t just cover all the windows, it’s the only light source!", they yelled at Stacy. "I can’t sleep without lights on!" Somehow, that did persuade Stacy to not cover up all the windows with books, and Lukas went to sleep, probably very soothed from knowing he won’t have endermen nightmares tonight. He slept through until morning, unlike Gabriel.

Endermen are terrifying, so as soon as night fell, Lukas went to hide in the library and cuddled Dewey to calm his nerves. He was even more terrified when he noticed Stacy trying to cover up all windows with books. "You can’t do that, the windows are our only light sources!", he yelled. "I can’t sleep without lights on!" Somehow, that successfully dissuade Stacy from actually doing it, so Lukas could go to sleep without having to worry about nightmares from those endermen. Yay for him!

Maya liked to act as if she didn’t have any fears, but, to be honest… endermen are super scary! In fact, she was so frightened by them, she couldn’t even move… so she continued to stare outside to the window when everyone else was going to hide somewhere else. When she realized that she was still here, standing in front of the window, she recovered herself and looked around. Oh no, Winslow was here, that’s not good… she should better flee to the attic while she still could! …She thought to herself and headed to the door, but she saw the source of all problem already being in the hallway, waiting to scratch any bypassers. No way she would try to deal with him!

Shudder… endermen are scary, but luckily Stacy had Wink to protect her back. Still, she couldn’t stand to see what was going on outside any longer, so she went somewhere where she could cover the windows with a load of books – the library! Ugh, the nerves of some people. "You can’t just cover all the windows, it’s the only light source!", "I can’t sleep without lights on!" Lukas sure was determined to not let Stacy have some peace, so she tried to keep herself busy brewing potions all night.

☀ Results of Day 2:

Harper thanked the goodness for zero deaths today, then got upset saying Winslow was with her. The grown kitty sneered at her and jumped up on a shelf, where he could watch her undisturbed. Harper considered drawing her stone sword, but revealing that she had a weapon wasn’t worth it for this good-forsaken felinae after all. 😼

Instead, she questioned everyone about their whereabouts. Gabriel and Ellegaard answered, also stating who was with them. Stacy then asked if anyone was with Harper, and Harper confirmed that Maya was with her.

🌒 Results of Night 2:

The kitty didn’t do anything… for now. But will he continue following Harper? Only one way to find out – to the bed chamber! And, look at that, she was alone there… oh, no, nevermind, here comes Maya- Her gladness over Winslow not having followed her quickly faded when she saw Maya’s pumpkin-head. She has been following Harper around it seems, and that could only be a bad sign… or coincidence. Either way, since Harper was pretty tired, she just asked her to not kill her and went to bed. And, to her relief, it turned out to not have been too much to ask for after all!

After the disaster that was the first night, CASSIE was determined to do it better this time around, so she told Winslow to stay put and went back to the living room. Oooh, nice party here! Three traps for three people, she couldn’t have wished for better conditions! Now, she only had to hope that they’ll be good and go to sleep, so CASSIE’s traps could hit… and- they did! Well, one of them, anyway.

Ellegaard wondered if it was a good idea after all to reveal exactly where she had been last night… welp, another problem she would deal with when she crossed that path! For now, though, she figured the best idea was to stay in the entrance hall and observe – no, not the endermen, that was a bad idea. Instead, she stared Winslow into his evil green eyes… and shivered! Looks like he won’t go away! She pondered about how to get away from this fluffy yet deadly little tomcat, but figuring that he won’t let her leave anyway, she concluded that the best thing to do right now was to have a little sleepless slumber party with him. Come here, Winslow! Come huuug!!! She chased after him for the whole night. Darn, he’s fast…!

After the enlightening results from stalking Lukas last night, Gabriel decided to do it again. Maybe if he kept stalking him, he could figure out who he really was! So he followed him to the living room and was surprised to see CASSIE and Stacy there, too. Anyway, back to business! Gabriel sat down and stared into Lukas’s very soul – well, for the first few hours, anyway. Slowly but surely, he had to blink with increasing frequency, and longer, and eventually, he drifted off to sleep… …When he clearly shouldn’t have, as he was awakened not by the first rays of sunlight, but by an heavy anvil dropping right onto his head, squashing him into pieces! Ouch!

Lukas had a good, enderman-free visit to the land of dreams, but as soon as he was awaken by the first rays of sunlight, he remembered why he felt uncomfortable in this world. He nervously awaited the end of the conversations in the entrance hall, and headed to the living room to find several people there too! Even though pumpkin faces surely aren’t as terrifying as those of endermen, Lukas wasn’t exactly glad to have this many people around him, so he snuck away to the hallway and hid there, hugging Dewey and nervously waiting for the sun to rise. Luckily, it eventually did, with nothing happening at all… or so he thought-

Last time, Maya missed her entry and had to bear the consequences – but that would not happen a second time! And because she was pretty tired from last night, she chose the best room to go to: The bed chamber! Oh, of course, Harper had to be there, too… she seemed pretty suspicious of Maya, even asking her ever so kindly to not murder her. …It kinda made Maya feel strong and superior, she liked it! Anyway, she didn’t have any murderous plans for now, so she went to bed and enjoyed the beautifully tender mattress.

Fine, so Stacy guessed that the library was where Lukas wanted to stay, but pillows will probably also do as a window cover, so she went to the living room and – OH C’MON!!! She really didn’t want to have another mindless discussion of "Oh, but I need light!" and "You vampire!", so Stacy skedaddled to the attic instead. Luckily, nobody else was there, so she could save her potion of swiftness, too. And THERE WERE NO WINDOWS! Killing three birds with one stone!!!

Gabriel was hit by a trap and died!

☀ Results of Day 3:

Harper asked everybody around who has got a pet and who hasn’t. Stacy, Ellegaard and CASSIE answered, all three technically honestly – although CASSIE at first claimed to not have a pet, but quickly corrected themself. Harper therefore concluded that Stacy and CASSIE were safe. Stacy however reminded her that they could be lying. Despite a friendly reminder from the voice from up above that closets don’t lie, nobody used their voting rights. Lukas claimed to have a pet, too, and Stacy vouched for that.

🌓 Results of Night 3:

Welp, three people have claimed to have a pet… and Harper was not one of them. Uh-oh. Anyway, since she couldn’t decide who to put into a closet, she decided to stay extra safe tonight and headed to the attic – and was relieved to note that no one followed her this time! Relieved, she went to sleep. Until next morning…

Ha! Not only did Harper believe CASSIE’s claim even after she quickly rectified it, the guests also didn’t vote anyone into the closet. How gullible they were! With a slight change to her strategy, CASSIE went back to the living room and sent Winslow to stay in the kitchen. And she was alone – which was only for the better! She set off traps in the library, gallery and dining room. And, the next morning…

It’s a bad thing that Ellegaard is among the suspects, but at least she didn’t get stuck into a closet. Well, actually, no one did… which in turn was a bad thing. But she had a plan – if anyone followed her into the bed chamber, she could set off a trap if she didn’t feel comfortable with them. …And oh my, someone did! At first, she was glad about the company, but in the end she didn’t feel safe around someone who cleary wasn’t a pet owner and wouldn’t respond to her, so she fled to the attic. Until next morning…

Okay, this time, Lukas would seek peace in a room where probably nobody would go to, because of the double traps risk – the dining room! But, of course, Stacy was there… and if that wasn’t enough, she immediately went and hugged his cat. Excuse me, Stacy!? – Wink is yelping for attention! Suspicious of Stacy’s behavior, he signaled Dewey to go sleep on her chest and went to sleep himself. Until, suddenly in the middle of the night…

Maya didn’t want to actively admit that she didn’t have a pet – she really hated narrow spaces, and maybe if she didn’t say anything, the others wouldn’t notice she was even there… It actually did seem to have worked, surprisingly. Nobody said anything… so she sneakily followed Ellegaard to the bed chamber, ready to play the silent detective tonight. She will stalk her until she knows her! But when she entered the room, she suddenly had a serious case of absentmindedness and forgot what she wanted to do at all. She spent the whole night trying to remember, until the next morning…

Being well-rested, Stacy figured she would endure the consequences one more time and actively followed Lukas to end up in the dining room with him. It was all for the kitty – yes, Dewey, you’re who she was talking about! Lukas gave her a confused-slightly worried look as she went and hugged his cat – and Wink yelped jealously. He will definitely forgive her, but still – how could she!?! After a good pet, she went to sleep satisfied. Until next morning…

The Last Night

He felt stared at… watched. Lukas suddenly awoke in the middle of the night, panting, as he had a nightmare about endermen chasing and dismantling him. But even the calming essence of Stacy’s dog beneath him wasn’t enough to calm him down… something wasn’t right-

He suddenly felt the urge to turn around and look at the painting of the chicken jockey behind him. It had never scared him as much as in this moment.

And now he knew why.

Where there used to be two empty, black sockets staring at the viewer’s soul, there were suddenly big, red pupils, staring into Lukas’s widened eyes. And then, in the next moment-

He couldn’t see anything, nor hear anything but a beaming sound, nor feel anything but pain as the red dots revealed themselves to be lasers, blinding Lukas and burning his hair, skin and body alive. It was faster than Lukas could even scream.

Wink of course barked as if there was no tomorrow, but the blinding laser light was too bright for Stacy to see. And then, the next morning…

"Guys, GUYS! Lukas is dead! DEAD-"

"Dead!?"

Harper, Ellegaard and Maya were shocked to hear the news Stacy had told.

"Dead-dead! I heard Wink barking in the middle of the night, there was this bright, red light- I don’t know exactly what happened, but I couldn’t find his drops in the morning, so it must have been a TRAP! All that’s survived is his cat, which I was cuddling this night…", Stacy said and took poor orphan Dewey into her arms. Wink whined sympathetically.

"I can’t believe it… who could do this, and why?! WHY!?, Harper cried. Then, suddenly-

"Oh, c’mon, you know exactly why.", CASSIE said, throwing something shiny in their hand up and down. Actually, it was the Flint & Steel-

"CASSIE!", Stacy screamed, well aware that this could only mean one conclusion. CASSIE must’ve been the one setting off the traps that killed Gabriel and Lukas!

"How could you", she continued, "you soulless monster, you absolute bastard, you never-forgiveable creature-”

"Hey now, listen! When I invited y’all to my mansion, I asked each and everyone of you for the Flint & Steel – completely pacifically, mind you – and no one, not a single person was kind enough to answer a simple question after I’ve just saved y’all from a bunch of endermen. What else should I have done??"

The guests were about to argue back, when suddenly, out of nowhere-

"It’s all my fault", Ellegaard confessed.

"…What?", everyone asked in union.

"It’s my fault those endermen appeared everywhere… I’ll show you how. But first, Cassie, can you crack my pumpkin?"

"Umm… excuse me?"

"Just do it, please.", Ellegaard asked ever so politely.

Cassie pulled out her diamond axe, slowly approached Ellegaard and awkwardly but gently strikes them right on front.

"Ow – That suffices, thank you…", Ellegaard said as she broke apart the pumpkin pieces and revealed her face – it was Ellegaard!

"Ellegaard!? What are you doing there-", Maya asked, more than surprised.

"Well, it’s uh, a long story. – But that’s beside the point. I have a little explanation to do. So…", she took a deep breath and revealed what no one had expected.

"So, after years of research and hard work, I have finally managed to craft… this."

She brang out something some of them had never seen before – a real, blinking command block! Everyone gasped at the sight-

"Why’re you all gasping? What is that?", Cassie asked unimpressed.

"It’s a command block", Ellegaard answered. Cassie’s eyes widened.

"But isn’t that-"

"Extremely rare and powerful? Why, yes, it is." She put it on the ground.

"You’re telling me you crafted that!?"

"I did", Ellegaard proudly responded, quickly followed by a rueful "And that’s the reason why this world is now overflowing with endermen – see, command blocks are forbidden in my world since a certain… incident, so I came to this world, hoping to be able to experiment a bit with it… but it all derailed when I wanted the swamp to end – suddenly, endermen started to spawn everywhere!"

"You set the biome to… the end?", Harper asked surprised. "Well, yeah, I was just trying to – wait… I set the biome to end… to end… to THE end… Oooooh.", Ellie facepalmed herself as the realization sank in. "Now I know what’s going on! Those endermen started spawning because they think it’s their home land!"

"Just set it to the plains or something. Can’t be too hard if you already done it once, right?", Harper suggested.

"Oh my, yes of course- how did I not think of that! Thank you so much!!", Ellegaard said and started typing into the command block.

But before she could finish, Cassie spoke again.

"Enough talking. I’m leaving!"

"Stop right there! We’re still gonna take revenge for Lukas!!", Stacy yelled and ran to grab her arm.

"Let – go – or do I have to resort to more murder!?", Cassie shouted, but Stacy didn’t let go.

"We’ll see who has the upper hand!", Stacy yelled and threw a light blue potion onto Dewey and Wink – was that… a potion of swiftness?

"Wink, Dewey, go and GET HER!"

With that, the two family-friendly pets turned into killing machines and jumped onto Cassie.

"AhhHHHH- Winslow, WINSLOW!", Cassie screamed as she fell onto the floor, dropping her axe and covering her face with her arms.

As called, Winslow appeared – and with him, about one thousand of loudly meowing calico cats. They jumped down from shelves, windows, cabinets – THEY WERE EVERYWHERE! 😼 😼😼😼😼😼😼😼😼

"AHHH! SO MANY EYES! THEY’RE EATING MY SOUL-", Maya freaked out.

"Wink! Dewey! Hang on there-", Stacy wheezed, grabbed Cassie’s diamond axe and swallowed another potion of swiftness. Then, she tried to lift the heavy axe and release it onto Cassie, but Winslow and the thousand other kittys punced onto her, oppressing her by pure weight.

"OWW-", Sea screamed as they all extended their claws and scratched her good. This caused Wink and Dewey to let Cassie be and instead try to help Stacy, but the felinae were too many-

"Good thing I still have THIS-", Cassie said and revealed a bow and arrows, shooting down Harper, Ellegaard and Maya, who where just standing there, watching in terror. Then, she set a big fire in front of them and whistled her cat back.

"Winslow, come here, we’re going home tonight!"

Winslow and the other cats quickly followed, gracefully jumping over the green flames that circumvented Stacy and the others.

"Bye, suckers!"

And with that, the whole mansion and everything burned down. Meanwhile, the sun outside was shining again and endermen started to disappear, like they would on a normal plains biome.

And what happened to the command block, which was inflammable? Well, Cassie didn’t care.

CASSIE has won the game! 👥

#mcsm #episode 6 #mafia

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sunshinejs · 5 years

Text

You’re 10/10

In honour of yesterday being 10/10, I thought of this and I hope you enjoy this little fluff!

------------------------------------------------------------

Word Count: 2k

You opened your eyes tiredly as the sunlight, peeking through the curtain, hits you. You roll around sleepily, wanting to cuddle into your boyfriend because your body was against getting out of bed in that moment.

You expected to find him behind you, still fast asleep in his side of the bed, but when you were met with an empty spot instead; you frowned. You touched the sheets where he laid and it felt cold, which meant Connor has been awake and out of bed for quite some time; not wanting to disturb you after the amount of studying you were doing last night.

You reached for your phone on the side table to check for the time and any messages your friends may have sent to you. When the device was close enough to your face, it’s only then you realize that there was a sticky note stuck to the phone screen.

1/10 - hi baby! You looked so peaceful sleeping so I didn’t want to disturb you :( I’ve got practice till 1pm then I’m heading to Shawn’s for a study session (and no, we’re not gonna play FIFA…) I know you’re heading to the library with Sam so I’ll see you later okay? Have an amazing day! I love you tons, sweets xx

You snickered at how his handwriting decreased in font size with each word, trying to fit the entire paragraph on the pink sticky note. You smiled to yourself, taking the note off from your phone and pasting it on the table instead.

Connor loved doing little things like these that would make your day. You loved it when he randomly writes stuff on sticky notes and pasting them on objects/at places where you would usually see them, regardless of what he writes on them. He could probably write something boring that his professor said during a lecture and it would still make you smile.

After fifteen minutes of going through your phone in bed, you thought it was finally time to get yourself ready for the day so you could meet Sam in the library on time. Once you got out of bed and did some light stretching, you headed for the bathroom and that’s when you noticed another pink note stuck on the white door.

2/10 - don’t shower too long!! Or you’ll be late for your study session :p xx

You rolled your eyes at his comment. So, you like to take long showers sometimes and Connor loved teasing you about it. After taking a quick shower, you headed for your shared closet so you could choose a comfy attire to put on for your long day in the library.

On the inner door of the closet, you noticed there were two sticky notes with his messy handwriting that you adored.

3/10 - since you’re going to the library, I figured you wanted to wear something comfy. Picked out your favourite grey hoodie (that belongs to me but apparently isn’t mine anymore? Logical, I guess) and a pair of black leggings for you and it’s folded in the middle compartment :) xx

3/10 (continued) - I can’t see you right now but I bet you look suuuuuper cozy in that hoodie and I just want to cuddle with my very soft girlfriend. Tonight please? Circle your answer below and stick it on my table ❤️ xx

Yes No (If you circle this, you’re on the couch tonight ma’am. I refuse to share the bed if I’m not getting cuddles. Nope)

You blushed to yourself as you read the notes. Connor knew you like the back of his head; it was like he read your mind because what he picked out for you was exactly what you were thinking of wearing ever since you were in the shower.

After changing into your clothes, you took the stickynote, walked over to your desk for a pen, circled ‘yes’ and stuck it on Connor’s side table then made the bed, just because you love coming home to a neat room.

You had no idea why Connor was suddenly bringing up the random note pasting again out of nowhere but you weren’t going to go against it.

You grabbed your belongings and headed out to the kitchen. On the door that separated the kitchen from the living room, to no one’s surprise; was another note.

4/10 - I know you’re heading to the kitchen to make coffee but please eat something!! Or I’ll kick your butt!! (Okay fine, I won’t. Your butt is too cute to be kicked)

But seriously baby, have something to eat. You’re gonna need the energy for your study session xx

And something hits you. Each note was numbered, which was unusual for him to do and it started to make you wonder; was there something about today that you completely missed?

Connor’s birthday? Nope, that was months ago.

Your birthday? Nope, that was over as well.

Anniversary? Not for another month.

As you stood over the counter, having cereal for breakfast and a glass of water, you shot him a quick text.

iMessage to Baby Con: what’s with all the sticky notes? xx

iMessage from Baby Con: no reason! Felt like showering you with a bit more love todayyyy xxx

And you let it slide. If Connor wants to be a little sweeter today, who were you to tell him to stop?

You went to drop the empty bowl in the sink and opened up one of the cabinets to retrieve your flask so you could fill it with hot coffee. On your flask was another note.

5/10 - You know how the ‘I love you 3000’ became a thing after Endgame? Can we make our own one so it’s more special?

I love you 3011 honey!!

p.s if you don’t get this… I’m seriously gonna pack up and leave you xx

3011; 30th November aka your anniversary.

Connor must be an idiot if he thought you could ever forget that date.

You were finally prepared to leave the apartment and head to the library when you caught a glance of another pink note stuck on the wall right above the shoe rack.

6/10 - Don’t forget to take this umbrella with you, honey! I checked the weather forecast and it’s gonna rain, which sucks. Love you and stay safe! xx

Yeah, he is really the most thoughtful and sweetest guy you’ve ever met.

When you finally met up with Sam in the library, you took out all your books from your bag. You smiled to yourself when you saw another note stuck on one of your binders.

7/10 - Study hard, baby!! But not too hard, please. I don’t want you to overstress yourself. That’s not good for my baby :( Love you, sweets and I’ll see you in a few hours xx

Sam notices you smiling to yourself, looking over the note on your binder. She smirked, reaching across the table and taking the binder out of your hand “Well, well, well, what do we have here?”

You looked up to face her, shaking your head with a smile “Connor’s just being Connor”

“Aww” She cooed, reading over the note “Brashier’s really whipped for you, babe”

You blushed “Yeah, I guess so”

3 hours into discussing over theories and re-reading case studies, you were starting to feel hungry, but you being you, always had the habit of skipping meals when you were in the middle of a study session.

And Connor knew that fact about you so well.

So, when you flipped to the last page of the article you were reading, there sat another note.

8/10 – Congrats on finishing this article! Now, stop studying and go get lunch, baby! You deserve to take a break ❤️

p.s don’t even think about lying to me. I’ll personally ask Sam if you actually ate something xx

“Hey Sam?” You called out to your friend “Wanna go grab lunch now? We’ve been at this for quite some time”

“Oh, thank God” She sighed in relief, shutting her books “I’ve been waiting for you to say that! I’m starving right now”

It was nearly 7pm when you realized how late it was getting. Your brain was burned out and you could see Sam was getting exhausted as well, seeing how you’ve been at the library for about 8 hours now.

You decided it was time to call it a day and went ahead packing all your stuff. After bidding goodbye to her at the library entrance, you headed towards the direction of home.

Pushing the front door to your shared apartment open, you made sure to lock it after letting yourself in. You took off your shoes and picked them up to place it on the rack when you noticed a new note stuck on the wall.

9/10 - are you today’s date? xx

You re-read the question, getting more confused by it. Was your brain too tired to even function or did that question made zero sense at all?

“Connor?” You called out to him as you walked deeper into the apartment “You home, love?”

“Yeah! ‘M in the kitchen, babe!” You heard him respond back to you.

You dropped your bag and headed for the kitchen, where you found him and a bouquet of roses and a box of pizza to share for the night on the counter “Hi bubs” You said, stunned by the flowers.

You definitely weren’t expecting flowers to be present for a regular dinner night.

“Hi baby” He greeted you with a smile, pressing a quick kiss to your lips “How was your day at the library?”

“Long” You noted then your eyes trailed over to the bouquet behind him, skeptically asking him “What’s with the flowers, Con? Is there a special occasion that I missed?”

Connor smirked in reply, shaking his head “No occasion. Just your answer to the 9th sticky note”

“You mean the ‘are you today’s date?’ question?” You asked confusingly “What does that have to do with getting me flowers, honey?”

“Take a closer look at the flowers and you’ll find out, baby”

Still stunned, you walked towards the island and admired the rosses. You see a card sticking out from the bouquet and as you unfolded it, you felt like your heart could burst at what was written inside.

Because you’re definitely 10/10, sweets! And I love you always xx

p.s I really hope you understand this or my brilliant idea has just gone to waste

It finally hits you; are you today’s date? Because you’re 10/10.

10th October; today’s date.

Connor walks over to you, places his hand on your waist as he pressed a kiss to your head “Do you get it now?” He asked, grinning widely.

You look up at him and he sees the laugh that’s trying to escape from your lips “Are you trying to tell me you did all this so you could tell me I’m 10/10, Connor D. Brashier?”

“I thought of this last year and had to wait a whole year to do it so, yes” He said proudly “Because you really are a 10/10, babe”

You cooed, wrapping your arms around him “This is the cheesiest shit you’ve ever done but it’s all so very cute. I love you so much and thank you for entertaining me with your little notes today, bubs”

“’M only cheesy when it comes to you, sweets” He told you, pressing a kiss to your clothed shoulder “Because you’re the only one I love”

“You’re the absolute ray of sunshine in my life, bubs” You sighed happily “And hey, for what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re a 10/10 to me”

He looks at you amusedly with his eyebrows furrowed “Is that supposed to make me feel good?”

“Yeah because you’re way more than a 10 to me, bubs. And I thank all the stars in the sky that I’m lucky enough to have you as my boyfriend”

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Reblog, like or leave a comment; always appreciated! ❤️

x rina

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