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A gull cried out with that ugly call that they have … and the audio reminded you of living in another city, long ago, by the port, were gulls were plenty, mean and monstrous.

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TRUMP HAS APPARENTLY CAUSED A TURTLE TO BE STRANDED IN WALES. YES, THIS IS ACTUALLY NEWS … THIS IS WHAT HAS BECOME OF THE MODERN NEWS. IN 2025.

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One time back when I was a student I went to buy some beers from the supermarket. There was this guy at the check out, around my age back then, so early 20s or so. He asked to see my ID. So I showed him my passport. And his face screwed up when he looked at it and then he stared at me, back and forth, between the passport and my face. “Is that actually you?” he said. It was like I’d shown him a photo of a man from China, and not the pic which was obviously of me and only taken from the previous year. “What do you think?” I said to him. He then went, “What’s your date of birth?” So I told him. He then finally ‘released’ the beers to me and accepted my documentation. Jesus. I get that shop workers have to ask, are required by law. You also get some pretty dim shop workers.

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The blue in the sky was that welled up blue that reminded you of boyhood gaping up at the expanse with wide ultramarine wonder.

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I saw the next door neighbour yesterday. The one whose son passed away two years back, by suicide. And the neighbour had hired some guys to come and repair the tiles on his roof. And was chatting to them outside the house, in a jovial way. And I thought, it must be excruciating to do simple things like that: just to chat to people who come around the house for work. Because they, the workers, wouldn’t know the awful story of the son’s suicide. It must be so hard to live with. Feel for him.

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The sun rose in rich galleries of green

along the ivy that smothered the trees

and the winter barrenness of the evergreen

was coupled now with the promising

lightgreen buds of the galloping Spring.

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Back in my second year at university I lived in student halls, with another boy and group of girls. They were okay, for the most part. And at the start we were all quite friendly. There was a lull period before we started our courses, where we went on little trips together to socialise. And one sunny day, we decided to go down to the local beach. One of the girls was called Carmel. As we walked along the beach, I talked to her about books and whatnot. Just various things; getting to know her. The group went along the beach and then walked back along the esplanade, dotted along which there were stalls that sold food and drinks. One of said stalls was an ice cream joint. The group fancied ice cream. There was a long queue. The others waited in the queue for ages and got their ice cream. And it was me at the back of the queue, last in the line. But I just didn’t really fancy any ice cream today. It was expensive and I don’t have much of a sweet tooth. So I went back to the group, and said to them, “I’m not really keen on ice cream. No problem, though.” And, Carmel, the girl who was holding her own cone, looked up at me with this quite stark expression of disgust. As if I had just offended her personally. And then she finished her ice cream, and walked away from us – the whole group. She just said, “I’m off to meet my other friend.” And bailed on all of us, quickly walking off. With no explanation. It was a real bizarre moment. That was her reaction to me not fancying any ice cream. People can be odd.

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I remember going to see the film Dunkirk (2017) with my old girlfriend at the cinema when it came out. It’s a good movie. Powerful stuff. When we were walking home after the film, we spoke about it. She was in a distasteful mood. That was in the lowlands of our relationship – which was coming to an end, when it became clearer that her feelings for me were changing. Anyway, at one point I said something like, “Man, I would hate being in a war. I just couldn’t stand that kind of mayhem.” And she responded, “Yeah, you would probably die really quickly.” And it was just like, Hmm, what’s the point in saying that? I’m sure lots of people would, umm, get murdered instantly in an explosive battle. Many of them did. But yeah: that was her opinion of me. Nasty.

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The music of the birds all mingled together in some effortless ongoing symphony.

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The ivy was

lime green

amazingly green

jungle green

avocado green

serpentine green

healthily green

evergreen

brilliant.

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I remember leaving a job once – not in spite or in a bad way – I was just moving on from this job and was friendly with the boss. And days before I left, I was speaking with the boss about the future. What I might do next, looking for work wise. And he said at one point, “You seem quite shy and reserved. That might hold you back.” And I get that he was merely making an observation. But it was still a bit off. He didn’t need to say that. And it certainly didn’t help me out with the old confidence.

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I remember walking about Gorgie once when I was in my late teens. And I passed a group of boys on the road. They were very young. Tots – maybe six or seven. A little pack of them. And one of them, the instant he saw me, just began colourfully swearing at me. Cheerfully, rather: he seemed to enjoy knowing so many cuss words. I wasn’t offended so much as surprised that the small lad had such an armoury of profanity. He was only about six. And he knew all of those words already. Credit to him. I walked past him without saying anything.

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Okay, so Scotland are back to being shit at soccer. Yes. No surprise. We are a talented bunch, us Scots: and many historical inventions essential to humanity hail from our isles. But we’re just crap at football. Meh. Shrug … it doesn’t really matter. It’s been this way for the 32 years that I’ve existed and there is nothing surprising about a really poor result that the team should really have won. Och well.

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Here was the healthy late March sun that, when you looked at it, you realised that you neglected too often.