#oh well back to being gay alone I suppose

[clinically-not-straight]

So i massively prefer women over men in terms of relationships. Now, recently I've been thinking "hehe~ it'd be really nice to cuddle with a cute fella here and I could pet his hair and kiss his stupid face n shit" but I've only realised now that I literally can't tell what this guy looks like in my head.

BUT HERE'S THE THING! I can do this easy when I think of women... idk why... I'm not even concerned or bothered, I think I'm just confused more than anything...

[theyrealllesbians]

Regulus was manically pacing around his room, playing with the cord at the base of the phone.

"What do you mean there's another one?" He asked in an exasperated tone, rubbing the bridge of his nose to try and fight the annoyed headache he could feel brewing.

"Another wedding invitation has just come for you, from Emmaline Vance? Wait was she the one who was obsessed with Peter and would try to dance with him at every party for like a year?" Sirius said, getting progressively louder and more excited as he carried on.

"Yes." Regulus bit out. He really could not be bothered to go to another wedding. Why did everyone want to get married all of a sudden, it's only been a couple, wait no 7 years, since he left high school. God, how had it been 7 years already? "Surely I don't have to go. I can just RSVP back saying 'thanks, but no thanks' that'll work right?"

Regulus didn't even really understand why he was getting so many invitations. He'd had 5 wedding invites so far, 2 baby showers which he was not going to and 2 reunion dinners. Of course his own brother's wedding invitation was not included in this list of grievances. He's never dare complain about having to watch the happiest day of Sirius's life. Even just hearing him and Remus try and sort out the last few details made his heart warm in a way that he would never dare admit to.

"Come on, you have to!" Sirius exclaimed. "Everyone will want to see you. Besides all of us," 'us' being Sirius, Remus, James, Peter, Lily, Mary, Marlene and Dorcas, "are going and I refuse to spend another evening answering a million questions about you when you could just get over yourself and come!!!!"

Sirius was referring to the last high school reunion that happened 2 years ago that he had refused to go to. Apparently, Sirius spent the whole night getting asked about Regulus's whereabouts and what he was doing, if it was true that he had refused to work in the family business, whether he was gay and if so, was he single?

"Ugh," he groaned, "if I do go, and that's an if! I'll need a date. Where am I supposed to get a date on such short notice." Regulus's head was now beginning to ache as it had threatened to do so at the thought of having to sit through a wedding with someone he barely knew just to show that he wasn't alone and that he was doing well for himself.

"I don't know, do I? I mean you don't have to have a date." Sirius suggested, speaking through a mouth of some form of food.

"I do though don't I, otherwise I'll just get pitying looks the entire night. Or worse, people coming up to me trying to ask me out." He shivered at the thought.

Sirius choked a little, "That's a bit cocky don't you think?"

"No I don't think it is actually, not after I had Gideon touching my knee last month asking if I'd 'be interested in a night to remember', I cannot do that again. I just can't," he whined. He may as well have stomped his feet to go along with the toddler type tantrum he was getting close to. But Regulus did not care, he was being entirely serious when he said he could not do it again.

"Fine then, go with Barty?" Sirius suggested.

"Can't he's already going with Evan." Regulus responded, damning them both because it wouldn't be a half bad idea.

"Act as if you're in a throuple, you could pull it off." Sirius teased.

"Sirius" Regulus whined again, he needed real solutions.

"Pandora?"

"Doesn't really work now that everyone knows I'm gay." Regulus was getting tired now, why did he call his brother again? Oh right he didn't, Sirius called him because Regulus is currently on a work trip and Sirius is watering his plants and clearly snooping through his post.

"Well, I don't have any other ideas. This is why you need more friends." Sirius said matter of factly.

"To have as back up wedding guests?"

"Yes, that's what we do all the time. I don't actually think that anyone really knows who is with who. Oh, you could go with James. I don't think he was planning to go with anyone."

"Yeah, pass." He would not go with James Potter. Not for any particular reason, he just couldn't.

"Right well, I can't help you"

"Apparently so. I'm gonna go" Regulus just needed to lie down and think about what he was gonna do. He still had a month to figure it all out.

"Alright, see you soon, call me if you need anything else." Sirius said, trying to maintain his 'helpful' older brother personality that he had built.

"Yep will do, bye." Regulus hung up.

He really hated wedding season.

Just had this idea, it will be Jegulus. Kinda fake dating/ friends to lovers type deal. I'm actually pretty excited to start writing it and have quite a few ideas already.

[30somethingautisticteacher]

The drunk woman was relentless, invading Tommy's personal space as he tried to step back. He kept flashing his ring, but either she hadn't noticed or simply didn't care. Tommy glanced at his watch, grateful Evan hadn't arrived yet to see this mess.

"I'm just a poor girl all alone and new to the city," she slurred, pressing closer. "Can you help me get home safely? You can drive me, and then you can come up and I can thank you properly." She traced a finger down his arm. "I'm sure your wife wouldn't mind."

'Okay, she just doesn't care,' Tommy thought, taking a step back.

"I'm sure the bartender would be happy to call a cab for you," he said firmly.

"But you're so big and strong. I would feel so protected," she pouted, swaying slightly.

"I'm flattered, but I'm sure you'll be plenty safe," Tommy said, maintaining his distance. "And my husband won't like you all over me."

"Husband?" the woman spat, her flirtatious demeanor instantly shifting. "Seriously, you're gay?" Her slurred voice dripped with disdain.

It was at that exact moment that Evan appeared.

"Oh, he's very, very gay," Evan said, draping his arms over Tommy's shoulders and pulling him in for a steamy kiss.

"Hi, baby," Tommy said when they broke apart, his earlier tension melting away at his husband's presence.

"You can go now," Evan said dismissively to the woman.

"You're the husband?" she scoffed, looking Evan up and down with obvious judgment. "What a waste."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Evan asked, his voice sharpening. Tommy could feel him tensing up beside him.

"Not worth it, sweetheart," Tommy said softly, squeezing Evan's hand. He knew that tone in his husband's voice - the one that meant someone had struck a nerve.

"No, I want to know," Evan insisted, his jaw set. The playful possessiveness from moments ago had been replaced by something harder, more defensive. "What exactly is being wasted here?"

"Your lifestyle," she sneered, waving her hand dismissively. "Two big, strong, handsome men shacking up together."

"Shacking up?" Evan said, his voice dangerously quiet. The woman had crossed a line, and Tommy knew his husband well enough to recognize when he was about to snap.

"We're not shacking up," Evan continued, holding up his left hand where his wedding ring caught the bar lights. "We're married. Legally married. I walked down an aisle, said vows, signed papers, and promised to love this man for the rest of my life. And you know what? It was the best decision I ever made."

Tommy's heart swelled, watching his husband defend their marriage.

"So no, it's not a waste. What would be a waste is if I pretended to be something I'm not just to make people like you comfortable. Now if you'll excuse us, I'd like to have a drink with my husband."

"You people," the girl said, shaking her head in disgust.

Tommy felt Evan stiffen next to him, ready for another round, but this time Tommy stepped forward. He'd let Evan handle it his way, now it was his turn.

"Ah, 'you people,'" Tommy said, his voice calm but firm. "Let me tell you about 'us people.' My husband and I are first responders. We put our lives on the line every single day for others - including people who think like you do. I spent years hiding who I was because of that kind of hatred, afraid to be myself. But then I finally accepted who I really was, and that opened my heart to the possibility of love. And I found it - real, earth-shattering, life-changing love."

He pulled Evan closer, feeling his husband relax against him. "So the only waste here would be letting people like you make us ashamed of something so beautiful."

Tommy turned away from the woman, effectively dismissing her. "Come on, baby."

The woman slunk away into the crowd, her previous bravado gone.

"You ok, babe?" Evan asked, turning to Tommy with concern.

"Are you kidding?" Tommy said, pulling him closer by his belt loops. "That was extremely sexy watching you tell her off like that. Look how far my little baby bi has come."

"Couldn't have done it without you," Evan said softly.

"You know, I'm actually more hungry than thirsty," Tommy said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh, is that so?" Evan replied, a knowing smirk spreading across his face."Well, we should probably do something about that."

"Yeah, we probably better," Tommy said, pulling Evan in for a heated kiss.

When they broke apart, Evan was speechless. He shook his head. "But not here."

"Right, right, let's get out of here."

They stumbled out of the bar together, Tommy tugging Evan along by their joined hands. Their laughter mixed with the night air, any trace of anger long forgotten replaced by the joy of just being together.

[queerweewoo]

“Shit.” 

Eddie mutters the curse under his breath when he can't seem to release the clasp on his St. Christopher chain.

He'd plopped himself down next to Buck after arriving home from dropping off his fourteen-year-old budding socialite at a friend's house, having already kicked off his boots and hooking an arm around Buck's still crossed-at-the-ankle legs, getting comfy with them resting over his lap—well, his lap and the arm of the sofa, because Buck has the longest pair of pins in the whole frickin world.

“Nope, I'm afraid shit can't possibly be the answer to seven down, Eddie, because even though it starts with an ‘S’, and the third letter is definitely an ‘I’, twelve across has got to be 'Skating', which would make the second letter a ‘K’,” Buck says with mock-seriousness as Eddie is still attempting to take off his chain. “And anyways, I don't really think the answer to the clue ‘Dermis’ could legitimately be shit, not by any stretch of the imagination; ‘Dermis’ sounds too… I dunno. Scientific? Medical?”

Eddie snorts his amusement at Buck, and Buck grins back at him with that particular twinkle in his eye that Eddie has come to think of as belonging to him.

He really tries his best not to be possessive over his best friend, knows he has no right to anything like that, but Eddie can't help being in love with Buck, no matter how much he wishes he wasn't.

Eddie's been fighting his desires his entire life, regardless of the fact he knows there isn't a damn thing wrong with being gay. But growing up in Texas, with a family as traditional as his own? It means Eddie hasn't ever felt entitled to getting the things he wants in life.

Buck must notice Eddie struggling, then, because he immediately drops his pen and the crossword puzzle book Eddie picked up for him yesterday at the newspaper stand near the firehouse, and is now swinging his legs off the sofa so he can scooch further up to Eddie, until he's almost on top of Eddie, and is saying, “Here, let me get that for you, Eds.”

Eddie freezes.

He knows he should shoo Buck away like he's supposed to, do the right thing, but ever since Buck started dating Tommy—and ever since Buck broke up with Tommy—Eddie's been pretty bad at being well-behaved around Buck.

Buck doesn't exactly make things easy, though. Never has, truth be told. He's always been a really tactile kind of guy, and right now his tactile nature is trying to murder Eddie, dead, dead, dead.

“Lemme just…” Buck's tongue is poking out of his mouth and resting against his bottom lip in concentration—and Eddie knows he should look away but can't—and then he's leaning right into Eddie's space, like he goddamn belongs there and, oh god, Eddie can't take this. He can't. He can't fucking breathe let alone act like this isn't bothering him, like it isn't turning him on like he's a horny teenager again, like this isn't everything he wants and has dreamed of. “Eds, just… lean forward a little would you, so I can—a little bit more, man, c'mon, don't be shy, I just need to…”

Buck really is on top of Eddie now, big arms wrapped around Eddie's head, musky cologne in Eddie's nostrils and warm breath in the shell of Eddie's super-sensitive ear and fuck, he's practically straddling Eddie now, right thigh pushed up against Eddie's junk, oh hell, and Eddie is panting softly and only about two seconds away from moaning his best friend's name like the pathetic hot mess that he is, Jesus fucking Christ.

“Got it,” Buck mutters, and just as he goes to lean back and pull away from Eddie, Eddie hears his internal monologue say: Yeah, I've got it real bad. 

Then something just—snaps inside of his brain before it's shutting down completely and his heart is in his throat as he finds himself whispering, “Screw it,” while he grabs onto both of Bucks biceps with purpose because he's terrified that if he doesn't, they might leave him forever.

“Wait,” he says. Pleads. 

Buck's right thigh is snug against Eddie's left one, the other still in Eddie's lap, his gorgeous face right there next to Eddie's, so close Eddie can almost feel the prickle of Buck's stubble.

“Eds?” Buck whispers, and his breath is mingling with Eddie's and Eddie hasn't prayed for a long, long time, but he's praying now; praying that he's not about to fuck up the best thing, bar Christopher, that has ever happened to him; praying for redemption; praying that Buck might want Eddie even just a fraction of the amount Eddie wants Buck.

His voice breaks when he says the only thing he can. “Don't go.”

Eddie wants this so, so badly, just this one thing, that's all he's asking for, and he's willing to beg for it if he has to—swears he'll never ask for anything again as long as he fucking lives.

“I'm not, Eds, I'm…” Buck trails off, frowning a little. He swallows audibly and licks at those sinful lips that are right fucking there and then says, “What, um—w-what exactly do you mean by 'don't go', Eddie?”

Eddie's heart is thumping so hard against his ribcage it feels as if it's going to burst right out of his chest, and Buck has to be able to feel it too because his solid chest is pressed up firmly against Eddie's, and Eddie can't believe he's doing this and seriously might just pass the fuck out any minute now—

“I don't…” Eddie shakes his head.

Fuck.

Is he really doing this?

“You don't know? Or you don't want me to go—like, as in go home?” Buck's asking. Eddie can't breathe. “Or do you mean, like, go, uh, g-go away from—from right here?” Buck swallows again and Eddie has never wanted anything more than to lick a long stripe up that prominent Adam's Apple of Buck's. “Do you mean don't go from this, Eds? From… from you.” And that last part doesn't sound like a question, it sounds like Buck gets it, and like he isn't horrified by the idea or amused by it or as if he's pitying or mocking Eddie.

Unbelievably, it actually sounds a little like Buck might just want Eddie, too.

Eddie screws his eyes shut, and all he can manage to say is, “Yeah, Buck. The last one.”

Buck is then slowly, gently, sliding his cheek up and down Eddie's, and Eddie finally knows exactly how it feels to have that stubble dragging against his own and there is no fucking way on Earth he could hold in the almost sob-like breath that leaves his lips as Buck's line themself up with Eddie's trembling mouth.

He's gripping Buck's arms so tightly he's scared he might leave bruises there but can feel Buck smiling as he says, “Can I, Eddie? Please?”

Is this really happening?

“Fuck yes,” Eddie urges, and then Buck is kissing him; slowly; gently, and with so much of something that feels like it could be love that Eddie wants to cry.

Then Buck's pulling away, yet not really away because it's only barely enough to let Eddie swallow the boulder-sized lump in his throat and try to catch his breath—only he doesn't quite manage to catch the tear that escapes the corner of his left eye. Somehow, though, that's okay, because Buck kisses that, too—and Eddie finds himself letting it all go, then, and smiling back at the man he's been in love with for almost six years as he cries, because he can finally feel all the colours of the rainbow on his face.

“Eddie, you have no fucking idea how long I've wanted to do that,” Buck chuckles, and Eddie leans in and tilts his own head back slightly and Buck's down a little to press lips against Buck's birthmark, smiling like a fool through his tears.

Buck puts his arms fully around Eddie's shoulders and hugs him, tight.

Eddie just breathes him in until he feels settled enough to look at Buck without welling up again.

“Skin,” Buck says then, bringing his hands to Eddie's face and holding it, brushing thumb pads along Eddie's cheeks and drying his tears because he wants to, and can. Eddie squints in slight confusion at the word, before Buck's revealing the meaning behind it, telling him, “Seven down, Eds, it just came to me: It was the word skin. Yours is—man, it's even smoother than I'd imagined. So, so beautiful. You're beautiful.”

“God, I fucking love you, Buck,” Eddie blurts, because he can't help it. “I'm—I'm in love with you, Evan, and I just—I'm sorry it's taken me so long to tell you that, taken me too long to get my shit together and pull my head out of my—”

“Beautiful, insanely perfect ass,” Buck laughs, and then he's kissing Eddie again, like they've been doing this forever, and Eddie's kissing him back and laughing, too.

“Stay,” Eddie begs between kisses. “Stay forever, Buck.”

Buck looks at Eddie like a man in love and says, “I'm in love with you too, Eds. So, yeah, sure, I can do forever,” he promises.

And Buck always keeps his promises. 

.

happy pride to my beautiful firefam 🌈

(unedited pls forgive me!)

[archangeldyke-all]

love love love your writinggggg!!! seriously!

if i could request something, i'd love a soft sevika helping a lonely and touch starved reader? maybe reader is her friend and her friend opens up and stuff goes down😏

i love youuuuuu!!!! this is sooo cute 😭

men and minors dni

"touch starved?" sevika asks. "what's that?"

you invited your best friend over for take out and gossip, and now, three hours into eating and drinking and catching up, your conversation's gotten deep.

you shrug. "like, y'know, not being touched enough. people are supposed to touch and hold and cuddle each other, like evolutionary-- it calms us down and keeps us healthy. but, if you're, like me... single, living alone, family's not all that touchy feely... i dunno. i just feel like a really nice hug could, like, fix everything in me."

it's quiet. you know sevika won't judge you, you've known her long enough to know better than to expect that. you anticipate maybe a tease, or an encouragement to accompany her to the bars she meets girls at to try and find you somebody too.

you don't expect the upset, almost sad look on her face.

"sev?" you ask.

"sorry. i was just trying to remember the last time i had a hug." she says, shaking her contemplative look away. your heart shatters and you pout at your best friend. she chuckles. "don't give me that look, you're just as pathetic as me!"

"it's not pathetic, it's way too common nowadays." you laugh, smacking sevika's shoulder.

but, when you bring your hand back to your side of the couch, sevika reaches out and grabs it, intertwining her fingers with yours.

you gulp, and your heartbeat skyrockets.

it's not just your touch-starved-ness that's got you flustered. you've been crushing on sevika since you've known her. it's why you've avoided touching your best friend so much in the first place-- your brain just short circuits when you touch her.

"why don't we just hug each other?" sevika whispers. you blink up from her hands to look her in the eye, shocked to see sevika looking just as unsteady as you feel.

you take a shaky breath and look down at your hands. you can't lie. sevika will see right through you.

"honestly? i think if i hugged you i'd never let go."

sevika chuckles. "is that so bad?" she asks. you huff.

"yes! sevika, i'm trying so hard not to make things weird between us and-- and a hug would make my feelings way too fucking loud to ignore."

it's silent. sevika's grip on your hand is like steel, you couldn't run away if you wanted to. you don't. her wide, vulnerable eyes have you pinned to the couch anyways.

"...i didn't know you felt like that about me."

"yeah, well..."

sevika launches forward and pins you to the mattress, laying flat on top of you. you squawk, squirming underneath her as you try to free yourself. she just goes boneless, waiting for you to finish fighting. "sevika!" you cry.

"i feel like that about you, too." she whispers. you give up your fight, melting into the couch beneath you. "if i had known, i'd've been all over you this whole fucking time."

"...oh." you giggle.

you can feel the curve of sevika's smile against your throat, and a shiver shoots down your spine. "were you serious about never letting go of me?" she asks.

"yes."

she kisses your cheek, and you shiver again. "good. i'm not lettin' go of you either."

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @realgreeniebeanie @k3n-dyll

@sevsdollette @ellieslob @xayn-xd

[engie-ivy]

(Can be read as a stand-alone, but also as my attempt to give this slightly Angsty fic a happy ending!)

1845 words

Remus and Fabian are together, so Remus doesn't understand why Fabian would be so upset his best friend Benjy is dating someone. Until he learns who Benjy is dating.

Your Person

Remus feels a hint of annoyance as he sees Benjy’s cloak on the hanger. He came over to visit Fabian again. Yet, Remus knows he isn't one to question Fabian’s relationship with his best friend, as that makes him feel somewhat like a hypocrite, and that's a can of worms Remus prefers not to open.

At first, Remus is surprised when he hears raised voices, until he realizes Fabian and Benjy are having an argument about the same thing that has been bothering Fabian all week.

“…just doesn't sit right with me! Oh, hi darling,” Fabian says mid-argument as he sees Remus.

“Hello love,” Remus says, as he walks up to Fabian and gives him a quick kiss. “And hi again, Benjy.”

“Hi Remus,” Benjy says absentmindedly, before continuing the argument. “Fabian, I can't adapt my dating life to you having a ‘gut feeling’.”

“It's more than that! It's just a wrong match, Benj.”

“Then I'll find out in due time,” Benjy shrugs.

“But if I can save you the trouble…”

“Fabian, why do you care so much about who I date?”

Remus, who has just walked into the kitchen to pour himself a beer, thinks that is an excellent question, and he lets Fabian know by leaning against the kitchen counter slowly sipping his beer, while staring pointedly at Fabian.

“I just… That is… Only because… Because he's Remus’ ex!” Fabian exclaims. “You can't date Remus’ ex! That's just bad form.”

Remus isn't entirely surprised about the news that Benjy is dating a guy he has apparently dated before. There are only so many gay guys in their social circle, after all. But he isn't going to let Fabian make this about him. Fabian is the one who has a problem with Benjy dating, so Fabian is going to take responsibility for it. “I don't mind Benjy dating an ex of mine,” Remus says casually. “We all hang out with the same people, we all date guys, it's bound to happen.” He turns to open one of the kitchen cabinets to see if Fabian has any snacks left. “Who are you dating anyway, Benjy?”

“Sirius.”

Remus freezes with his hand halfway to a bag of crisps. “No.”

“Excuse me?” Benjy asks.

Remus turns around. “No. Just… no.”

Benjy frowns. “I thought you didn't mind me dating one of your exes?”

“Not Sirius,” Remus says instantly before he can think about it. “Sirius is… He's different.”

“What’s different about him?” Benjy asks.

“Yes, Remus,” Fabian echoes, looking more smug than upset though. “What's different about him?”

“Sirius and I are still…”

“Still what?”

Well, that is another excellent question. How to describe all the things Sirius still is to him? “We're still close friends,” Remus ends up on, running a hand through his hair. “That makes it different.”

“Of course it does,” Fabian says. “Now that it's about handsome, charming Sirius Black whom you're still oh-so-close with it's suddenly a whole other matter.”

Benjy looks from Fabian to Remus and back. “Something tells me this is more between you two than it has to do with me, so I'm going to let you sort it out.” He gets up from the couch and walks to the front door. “Bye Fabi, bye Remus. See you later.”

As Benjy leaves, Remus glares at Fabian. “Weren't you just saying yourself that you have a problem with Benjy dating my ex? I'm only agreeing with you.”

“I have a problem with the whole principle of it, not with it being Sirius Black!”

“No, but I bet it has to do with it being Benjy!”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Please, Fabian,” Remus says. “You've been acting annoyed and upset ever since you found out Benjy is dating someone. That, with all the time you spend with him, how am I supposed to feel?”

“Well, let me think,” Fabian replies sarcastically. “Probably about the same as it makes me feel when you talk about your ‘special relationship’ with Sirius Black.”

“I haven't been doing that though! I didn't even know it was him whom Benjy is dating until just now!”

“And only then you suddenly had an issue with it.”

“That's different!”

“Different indeed,” Fabian agrees. “I never dated Benjy, you did date Sirius.”

“Hardly,” Remus replies. “We dated for a short period when we were only fifteen years old, that's it.”

“And yet,” Fabian says. “He's not just an ex, he's somehow the ex.”

“At least I already had that experience with Sirius and decided we're better off as friends. With you and Benjy there might still be the question of ‘what if?’”

“I don't…” Fabian sputters.

Sensing an opportunity, Remus presses on. “You never wonder ‘what if?’ when it comes to you and Benjy?”

Fabian recovers himself, though. “You really consider you and Sirius a closed chapter?”

“You're not answering the question!”

“Neither are you!”

They angrily stare at each other in silence for a moment. Remus feels justified in his anger about Fabian having been so put out over the last week by the idea that Benjy is dating someone, but deep down he knows that lashing out at Fabian might also be a defense mechanism, as he doesn't want to deal with his own feelings about Sirius moving on. Their conversation at Lily and James’ wedding, where Sirius told him he still felt so much when it came to Remus, has been playing in Remus’ mind more often than he would like to admit.

As if sensing what Remus is feeling, Fabian tilts his head. “Why did you and Sirius never date again? I mean, I know you had this big fight back in fifth year, but you sorted yourselves out, so why did you never date him again?”

Now it's Remus’ turn to be taken off guard. “I… He… We… We barely managed to salvage our friendship. I almost lost him as a part of my life, I didn't want to take that risk again and potentially lose our friendship forever by turning it into something more. There was just too much to lose, he meant too much to me…”

“He what now?” Fabian asks.

“I meant…”

“I know what you meant! You're too scared to risk your ‘special relationship’, while apparently, I'm a whole lot less special than our perfect Sirius Black.”

“That's not what I said! Don't put words into my mouth!”

“I was right to warn Benjy. He should think twice before getting dragged into whatever is going on between you and Sirius.”

“Oh, like you even care who Benjy is dating,” Remus scoffs. “You don't want him dating anyone! Don't you think it's weird how no one is ever good enough for Benjy according to you?”

“He's my best friend! Of course I want what's best for him.”

“Is him being single not more what's best for you?”

“Maybe not,” Fabian snaps. “Maybe I should be with Benjy instead, rather than with someone who doesn't think I'm all that special anyway!”

“And maybe I should be with Sirius then,” Remus snaps right back. “As you're so obsessed anyway with how special our relationship apparently is!”

They are both standing across from each other, their hands clenched in fists, breathing heavily, as each other's words, but also their own words, sink in.

After a moment of silence, Fabian blinks. “I think I might have feelings for Benjy.”

“I think I might have feelings for Sirius,” Remus replies.

They stare at each other, before Fabian groans and lets himself fall on the couch, Remus dropping down next to him.

“Rem, what are we doing?” Fabian asks, hiding his face in his hands.

“Potentially dating the wrong people,” Remus offers.

Fabian lets his head fall on Remus’ shoulder. “We're a mess, aren't we?”

“Fabi,” Remus sighs. “What do we do now? They're dating each other, for Godric’s sake!”

Well, there are a lot of things Remus would rather be doing than going on a double date with his ex, the person he's in love with, and the guy his love interest is currently dating. Like going to the dentist for instance, or swimming with sharks, or jumping out of an airplane perhaps.

“Oh my, you're so funny, Siri,” Benjy giggles, squeezing Sirius’ arm.

Remus gives Fabian, who's knuckles are turning white around his fork, a pointed look. He was the one to agree to this double date after all. Something about observing how Benjy and Sirius are as a couple before potentially intervening.

“Excuse me for a moment,” Remus says, as Benjy makes a show of tickling Sirius’ side, before he heads off to the toilet, desperate to get out of there.

“Remus, I'm so sorry!”

Remus turns away from the sink towards Sirius, who's rushing up to him.

“Did you really think this was a good idea?” Remus hisses, his frustration with the whole evening getting the better of him. “After you basically told me you still have feelings for me at Lily and James’ wedding, for us to go on a double date?”

“I know, I know,” Sirius says, running a hand through his hair and looking unfairly handsome. “But on the bright side, at least I'm finally trying to move on?” He tries.

Remus just stares at him, as Sirius has no idea how little of a bright side that is.

“But for real,” Sirius continues. “Benjy just said a double date with friends, I didn't know it would be you and your boyfriend!”

“Me and my ex,” Remus corrects.

Sirius blinks, then shakes his head. “Merlin, this really is the most awkward double date ever!” Then he gives Remus a sympathetic look. “I'm sorry, Moony. I didn't know. What happened?”

Remus bites his lip, not sure whether saying ‘I realized I'm in love with you’ while Sirius’ date is right in the other room can be considered bad form. “We just realized we weren't each other's person.”

“How?”

“I…” With Sirius’ bright grey eyes looking at him like that, Remus can't keep it in. “I think I realized that you're my person, Sirius. I tried so hard to suppress it out of fear of mucking it up and losing you for good, but it's the truth and it has always been the truth.”

Sirius stares at him for a moment, before the most beautiful smile lights up his face. He takes a step forward and takes Remus’ hand. “Really? You mean it? You would like to finally try again? With me?”

“Pads…” Remus says, staring at their joined hands. “Benjy is…”

“Just trying to make Fabian jealous,” Sirius replies. “I mean, it's been fun with him, but nothing more than just fun, when we both needed a distraction as we were desperately pining after the one we really wanted to be with. As I was desperately pining after my person.”

“Your person,” Remus repeats softly, before returning Sirius’ smile.

As they walk back to their table, hand in hand, neither of them can help the smiles still on their faces.

“Benjy, Fabian, I think we need to switch places.”

[coyote-with-a-keyboard]

I Don’t Wanna Fall In Love

a/n: if anyone is curious this is yes inspired by the song by she wants revenge but make it gay, for my pookie @embry-garrick specifically

Minors DNI - warnings: drunk gaz, kind of dub-con I think?

gaz was too busy for love- between missions base work and even work he had to do while off duty. Love wasn’t something he cared for- let alone wanted, but it seems no matter how hard he tried, his mind couldn’t get off of you.

he adored you. Price would have probably slapped him and told him to do 50 pushups if price knew how much he had been ogling over you since you joined the team. Every time you even brushed past him he got all hot and bothered- he had even chubbed up his boxers once just because you grasped him by the hips to keep him from hitting his head on a doorframe.

What made his head really spin was when you were all celebrating a recent victory the night before- and you had actually asked him if he was single. Of course soap had perfectly ruined that by saying “oh, nah gaz said he doesn’t want to fall in love”

so what was gaz doing trying to scramble to find a way to take you out tonight while drunk out of his mind? Well, simple- he was a bit too heartstruck and a bit too horny not to, even getting all sweaty just standing at your barrack door before knocking. It was a miracle he even managed to get you to open the door, kissing you without a second thought and practically shaking when you kissed him back, the sharply cold feeling of your fingers gripping his hips enough to leave a mark under his messy uniform, followed by the rougher feeling of you man-handling his body down to bend over your less then stable barrack bed.

“Christ- don’t slow down” gaz mumbled in a half drunk slur with a little gasp as you tugged down his boxers and heard you grab something from a desk drawer, followed by a cold dribble of lube sliding down his hole before you slid your fingers in, prepping him so painfully slow that he kept bucking up into your touch, almost sobbing into the mattress by the time you thought he had had enough and finally slid in your member.

he was half glad you had prepped him so damn long because it still felt like you were splitting him open, as if he felt you in his very bones, his snarky sentiments turning into soft little gasps and moans as well as hiccuping sobs into your mattress, muted so nobody would hear until you pulled him up a bit to ask if he was okay.

was he okay? No! How was he supposed to ever be okay when he doesn’t want to fall in love but you feel so good. But did he want more? Yes. So of course he nodded and begged you to keep going, and that’s exactly what you did. Until he was nothing but a shaking gasping mess, covered in his own spend and when you pulled out he was just loose enough that your cum dribbled out of him prettily. The rest was a blur for him, but he woke up in your hoodie and pants, all cleaned up and in his barrack, the only thing in show of the night being your cologne on your clothes and the hickeys etched into his neck…

well, now he definitely is in love.

[watarfallar]

Life Series Incorrect Quotes

Martyn: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Ren: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

Impulse: Are you sure Skizz's even gay? They barely even looked at me.

Skizz: How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you? Impulse: Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now. Impulse: Would you like me to tutor you? Tango: That was smooth.

Gem, in Impulse’s bed: Morning… how’d ya sleep last night? Impulse, knocking Gem off: WHAT THE HELL?! Gem: Ow— Impulse: What were you doing in my bed? You were supposed to sleep on the air mattress on the floor! Gem: I had a nightmare. Impulse: You had a nightmare? What are you, five years old? Gem: Listen, I needed to feel comfortable and I was getting this perverse power dynamic vibe from me sleeping on the floor and you sleeping up there- Impulse, in a royal accent: Why yes, how high and mighty I am up on my twin XL! Gem: That is not what I meant— Impulse: Silence in the presence of your king, who sleeps a lofty twelve and a half inches above the ground! Gem: Listen, I’m not ashamed. I slept comfortably when I got up on your bed and I’m sure you did too. Impulse: Yeah, okay- Gem: You know what? I wanna know. How’d you sleep last night? Impulse: …That was the best I’ve slept in a while. Gem, gasping: The king slept comfortably with a peasant in his bed! Impulse: I did not consent to this- Gem, dramatically: But my liege, our love is forbidden! Impulse, on the phone: Hi, is this the front desk? Yeah, there’s a bed bug in my room and she’s six-foot-one, he’s got red hair. Gem: Ask them if they have one of those “Do Not Disturb” signs. I’ll put it on the door next time we… do it. Impulse: Okay, I'ma go shower and wash all of the you off of me. Gem: Oh, maybe together we could— Impulse: NO. Gem: Just to save water— Impulse: No! You don’t even pay for the water! Gem: …Good point.

Bdubs: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along? Ren: What did you just say- Bdubs: Foetons! *Laughs* Ren: Wh-what?

Grian, at an awards show: Well, first of all, I’d like to thank Scar, the love of my life, for telling me Mumbo was going to win so don’t bother to prepare a speech.

Cleo: Bdubs, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Bdubs, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than their size: Spooky.

BigB: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you. Scott: Being a fish. BigB: Well, shit.

Grian: I am an expert at identifying birds. Bdubs: Okay, what about those ones flying over there? Grian: Yeah, they're all birds.

Ren: I’m gonna die alone. Pearl: Ren, you’re not gonna die alone. Ren: Bdubs, was my safety net, okay? They got married and now I have to get a snake. Scar: Uh-huh. Why is that? Ren: If I’m gonna be an old lonely person, I’m gonna need a thing, you know? A hook. Like that guy in the subway who eats his own face. Ren: So I figured I’ll be “Crazy Man With A Snake”, you know? Crazy snake man. Ren: Then I’ll get more snakes, call them my babies. Kids won’t walk past my place, they will run! RUN AWAY FROM CRAZY SNAKE MAN!

Cleo, holding out a cookie for Lizzie: Look! This ones a heart, that’s how I feel about you! Lizzie: *Ugly crying* Cleo, holding out another cookie for Pearl: This ones like Michigan, that’s how I feel about you! Pearl, throwing their hands in the air: What does that mean?!

Grian: Did you wash the dishes? Mumbo: I thought you wanted to do that... Grian: *chuckles* You were WRONG.

Bdubs: Ren, I beg of you. Please, PLEASE go to the doctor. Ren: Hey, I'm sorry. Is this OUR stab wound?

BigB: Respect my trans homies or I’m gonna identify as a fucking problem.

Impulse: Everybody shut up, I'm thinking. Tango, patting them on the back: Well, don’t think too hard. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.

Joel: What's with the new hat? Scott: Oh, this? It's nothing. Scar: It's the loudest nothing I ever saw. Cleo: Scott, you just can't mosey in here with a brand-new hat and act like you're not wearing a brand-new hat. Scott: Look, I'm trying something new, okay? Just take it easy. Etho: He's right, guys. Come on, let's not go down this path. It's ugly... Kinda like that hat– Scott: I got this from a nice store! Joel: What store? The one before you exit the Al Capone Museum? BigB, entering the room: What's up, Scott? Did you just finish Bling Ring-ing Bruno Mars' closet? Scott: I'm being brave, okay? You guys are sheep. You may want to take a long, hard look in the mirror. BigB: Better us than you. You look like a park ranger from a cartoon. Scott: Joel, do you think the hat looks bad? Joel: Oh, uh, me? Um, I... I wouldn't say it was bad. Like, I think it's just different, like something you would wear in Indiana... Jones and the Temple of Bad Hats.

BigB: Well Grian, I have to say, I'm really disappointed. Grian: Well, you didn't HAVE to say it. You could've just thought it.

[matcha-milkies]

LOVE? ACTUALLY?

Summary: In which Mabel and Ford are both aromantic, and neither of them has the vocabulary to express it.

A sequel to “Well, You Did Ask.”

Relationships: Ford Pines & Mabel Pines, Ford Pines & Stan Pines, Bill Cipher/Ford Pines (Mentioned), Pacifica Northwest/Dipper Pines (Mentioned)

Tags: Humor, Family Bonding, Past Relationships, Advice

Word Count: 1,584

Link to AO3: Here

A/N: I once saw a post talking about how Mabel could be aromantic because she seems really in love with the idea of being in love and picks a lot of random people to have crushes on, and as an aro person that felt SCARILY familiar lol so here you go.

Ford is aro gay <3

“Ugh.” Mabel draped herself over the arm of the couch like a piece of laundry, stomach down, long hair flopping. “I can’t believe I’m 15 and still single! I’m never gonna get a long-term boyfriend!”

Ford, who had been preparing himself tea in the kitchen nearby, poked his head into the room, as though to ascertain whether his great niece was talking to him. They were the only two in the shack right now, aside from Waddles, so it was a 50-50 chance. 

Well, maybe 25-75. In Waddles’s favor.

“Grunkle Ford,” she lifted herself a little and drew back the curtain of her hair so that her eyes peeked through, “when did you first get serious with someone?”

Despite being addressed directly, Ford still glanced over his shoulder to make sure there wasn’t anyone behind him, perhaps some alternate-dimension Stanford Pines who was better equipped to answer such a question. “Serious?” He tugged at the collar of his sweater as obscenely equilateral imagery flashed across the backs of his eyelids. “W-Well, I suppose it depends on what you define as serious.”

“I dunno, I guess it’s serious when you both agree it’s serious?” She frowned at the ceiling helplessly before slumping back over the arm of the couch. Her voice came out muffled. “I wouldn’t know. It’s not like I’ve ever been in a serious relationship.”

Tea in hand, Ford stepped more fully into the room, looking about as comfortable as he’d been at his first college party (he’d been dragged there against his will, obviously). Come on, Ford. A few sage words from her great uncle. That’s all she’s asking for. A few times, he opened his mouth to say something and then snapped it shut. Luckily, conversations with Mabel did not require much input from the second party.

“I mean, Dipper is dating Pacifica! For a whole year now! I can’t believe he beat me! How does that even happen?”

Ford chuckled a little to himself, remembering high school, when Stan had teased him for having a girlfriend before Ford did. “Well, Mabel, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone goes at their own pace.”

“Urgh! But I want a boyfriend now! I don’t wanna waaaaaait.” She kicked her feet in agitation. “Is it so much to ask? To have someone in my life who makes me feel special?”

Ford knit his brows and seated himself at the nearby table, setting his mug down. “I understand your frustration, but, Mabel, I…” The man rested his head on his hand for a few moments, contemplating how best to put it. “I fear you’re looking at this all the wrong way.”

She peered up at him, leery. “What do you mean?”

He stirred the metal spoon in his tea, lazily winding it around the ceramic rim. “If all you’re looking for is someone to make you feel special… I worry you might end up with someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart.”

“Oh, Grunkle Ford, I’ll be fine.”

He had started talking before she even finished her last word. “I’m serious. You have to be careful who you give yourself to. You become so desperate not to feel alone that you-you rush into things blindly, without thinking, without stopping to consider the ulterior motives your partner might have, and before you know it—”

“Hey! I don’t do any of those things,” Mabel protested, even though she very much did do all of those things in that exact order, and also even though Ford had not been talking about her.

“My- My point is,” he went on, taking a steadying breath, “you shouldn’t settle for less. One way or another, you’ll find special people to be in your life. I know it’s not quite what you’re looking for, but you’ve already got a wonderful brother.”

Mabel flopped onto her back and stretched the skin beneath her eye in distress. “But what if he marries Pacifica and I barely see him anymore? I’ll have nobody!”

“Dipper cares for you very deeply, Mabel. I doubt the two of you will ever drift apart.”

“Mmmmm,” Mabel groaned.

“But let’s say hypothetically you did,” Ford proposed. “You’d still have me and Stanley. You’d have your friends, your parents. Waddles, of course. And any number of new friends that you’re going to make in the coming years. I of all people can’t guarantee that relationships won’t fall to pieces. What I do know is that there’s always someone waiting for you on the other side, if you’re willing to let them in.”

“Aww… I guess that is kind of sweet.” She finally rearranged herself so that she was sitting normally. “Say, Grunkle Ford, you never told me about your first serious relationship.”

“I- Oh, you don’t want to hear about that.”

“Yes I do! Come ooooon, I’m so bored! Storytime! Storytime!”

“W- I- Um.”

“Wait.” Mabel narrowed her eyes. “You’re getting all weird the way Dipper does when he has something embarrassing to hide!”

“Mabel, don’t be ridiculous. It’s just not that interesting.”

“What’s not that interesting?” asked a gruff voice from the next room over. A few seconds later, its owner popped in carrying what looked to be groceries in his arm, mostly snacks, fruits and drinks.

“Grunkle Stan! We were just talking about Grunkle Ford’s love life.” She clasped her hands together and batted her lashes.

“What?” Stan raised his brows as he set down his paper bag on the table. “You told her about Bill?”

Ford got up from his chair fully with the intent to commit fratricide. 

“WHAT!” Mabel exploded. “GRUNKLE FORD?!” She glommed onto his leg and anchored him to the ground before he could give chase. Stan wisely moved over to the fridge to look for a few beers. “WHAAAAAT?!”

Ford tried to drag her along. “Mabel! Aren’t you getting a little old to be doing this?”

“No!” She looked up at him with wide, sparkling eyes. “Now tell me everything! Everything! EVERYTHING!” She shook his leg with violence.

Stan popped a couple of bottle caps and extended one of the bottles towards his brother in gesture. “Sixer, if I come over there to give you this, you gotta promise not to try to wring my neck.”

“I can make no such promise, Stanley.”

“Okaaaay then.” Stan, ever the innovator, set the drink on the table instead and slid it over to Ford, who caught it before it could slide off the edge. He eyed it for a moment and then took a few long gulps.

“Mabel,” he sighed, glancing down to find that she was still staring up at him with puppy-dog eyes. “There’s not much to tell! He manipulated me and lied to me and then we blasted him out of Stan’s brain. The end.”

“No, no, no!” Mabel cried. “Tell me when you first realized you were falling in love with him!”

“F- Falling in—” Ford cleared his throat.

The truth was, he’d been “in love” with Bill, in a sense, from that very first moment. But that all made it sound so much more… romantic than it was. It was difficult to explain exactly what he had felt. It was intense, and it was an attraction, and at one point he might’ve thought it was love, but… “I… didn’t,” he finished lamely, as if he were just now realizing it himself.

“Come on, Grunkle Ford, the cat’s out of the bag now! You can’t lie to me anymore!”

“No, I… I really didn’t,” he went on, looking down at his empty hand. “We had a connection. A deep and intimate connection to one another. But I… I don’t think it was anything like what you’re imagining, Mabel.”

“Huh?” she blinked a few times. Even Stan seemed confused as he leaned back against the fridge.

“Hang on a second. Back on the boat you told me you were romantically involved. Those were your exact words.”

“Well, we… were?” Ford himself sounded perplexed, as though he were working out a Rubik’s Cube in real time. Of course, if this were a Rubik’s Cube he would’ve figured it out a lot faster. “At least, that’s what the understanding was at the time…”

“Uh… okay, you lost me.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t really explain it.”

“I think I get it,” Mabel said thoughtfully, and the two grunkles turned to look at her. “You thought you were in love, so you got into a relationship, but you weren’t really in love. But you still loved him. Just not in a lovey-dovey way.”

“I, uh… Well, yes… I think so,” Ford affirmed.

“Yeah, I get it. I think I did that with this guy in freshman year. We really connected, you know! But I realized I wasn’t… in love…” she finished softly, as though she were now the one deep in thought. She snapped out of it with a shrug. “Womp womp.”

“Well, there you have it,” said Stan after taking a particularly long swig. “Hey, Sixer, now all you gotta do is tell Dipper and you’ll be three for three.”

“Stanley, don’t even joke about that. I’m absolutely done talking about this.”

“Awww,” said Mabel, who had really been looking forward to squealing to her twin about it. “Double womp womp.”

“Now will you please detach from my leg?”

“Nope! We’re bonding, baby! Learning each other’s backstories and stuff! Mabel-Ford bonding time!” She threw up her hands like she was on a roller coaster, although her legs stayed wrapped around his ankle. “Woohoo!”

[ruegarding]

hello! I hope your having a good day! If you don't mind me asking, what is your opinion on the Cupid Scene in Hoo? And if you could how would you change it?

my opinion on the cupid scene…well, i don't think a traumatic coming out scene is automatically bad. the problem i have w it is that rick capitalized on shock value instead of good writing. rick retconned a bunch of things to make nico alone and miserable so that he could have this scene, and it was completely unnecessary. ppl can have friends without coming out. and, as i’ve repeatedly said, the way hoo is written is literally a repeat of his arc in pjo but worse, because we’re acting like important events in pjo didn’t happen in a series that’s supposed to be a sequel to pjo and rick is inconsistent so the payoff is questionable.

the solution is…good writing. creating a cohesive and intriguing plotline where this scene is either necessary or scrapped if it isn’t.

thus begins an unnecessarily deep dive into all the retcons, inconsistencies, and general what-the-fuckery of nico’s arc in hoo bc i’m the verbose king and we've accidentally stumbled into something i have a lot to say abt.

first retcon. in son, frank explicitly says that nico does not make him nervous and describes nico as mysterious. not weird, creepy, off-putting, or anything similar. and nico is! he is clearly hiding things and shows up infrequently. this is a neutral description, and frank goes on to say that pluto’s powers, and specifically the underworld, isn’t enough to make him dislike pluto or nico.

also this, showing nico is comfortable enough around frank:

but then in hoh, frank thinks going somewhere with nico, alone, is terrifying.

at worst, frank would’ve felt awkward. they’ve never had to talk alone bc nico is at camp jupiter for hazel and doesn’t have any reason to talk to frank by himself. if frank didn’t want to be alone w nico bc of that, it’d make sense. but that’s not what’s said or implied! and nothing has happened! nico got kidnapped, they saved him, and since then he’s been chilling on the boat, exactly as weird as before, if a little more understandably distressed. like, nothing happened to change frank’s opinion this drastically. even the difference between pluto and hades (wealth vs death) doesn’t matter bc nico uses his powers in son. also frank literally summons a skeleton guy in son and hazel is a zombie, like…

(the source isn’t important but i've been quoting these five seconds for years)

oh! and that’s not all, it gets worse!

these scenes from hoh are incredibly infantilizing. why are we treating nico like a feral dog that needs to be domesticated??? yikes. and once again, it’s not true! nico was fine talking w ppl in pjo (if a bit over-enthusiastic). and then in son he was perfectly civil and was fine having the conversation abt the quest. his issue w ppl was that his powers/parentage put ppl off, and, even in son, that he had to keep a secret.

nico is perfectly capable of speaking like a normal person and working as part of a team (see: final botl battle, final tlo battle, the sword of hades). like, nico’s struggle in hoh should be 1) that ppl are calling him creepy behind his back (and therefore has nothing to do w his social skills) and/or 2) that he just survived an incredibly traumatic experience and is understandably withdrawn. neither of these are properly addressed and instead the implication is that nico is hiding himself bc he’s gay and everything will be solved if he accepts himself.

edit: i never actually explicitly stated this, but nico's queer coding and disability coding overlap, which is why this infantilization/ableism is important enough to highlight despite the conversation specifically being abt the queer aspect of it.

second retcon. percy…as i’ve said many times before, percy explicitly calls nico his friend in tlo.

this immediately makes hoo trying to act like they don’t know each other and were never close a retcon. they were friends, they saw each other frequently, nico made silly jokes w percy…and we’re ignoring all of this in hoo.

i've talked abt this previously (in response to tsats), but nico is the one putting distance between him and percy. percy reached out to nico repeatedly thru pjo.

when percy notices that nico excludes himself, percy finds a private place to talk to nico and assures him that percy wants him around and offers solutions to his discomfort (this is not percy’s responsibility. percy is a child). when nico insists that he won’t stay, percy sees it from nico’s perspective and, instead of forcing nico to do something against his will that may totally backfire, says “i hope we don’t have to be enemies,” leaving room for nico to decide whether he’s willing to be friends.

bc percy understands the root of nico’s issue (that no matter the accommodations made at camp, there’s always going to be the implicit message that he doesn’t belong there), he addresses it and uses his wish to make sure that nico has a home at camp.

and when nico tries to prove he’s useful, percy proves he would’ve invited him in whether nico was or not. bc he thinks nico deserves to be a kid.

“i wonder if [nico] had ever had a birthday party,” percy thinks at his own birthday party where he didn’t invite his friends bc he felt it was too much of an inconvenience, in a story where he never had friends prior to these ppl he didn’t invite, and the only person he had for twelve years of his life was his own mother. and percy uses his own loneliness to empathize w how lonely nico is.

percy is not some distant figure nico is idolizing. he's a kid trying his best to care for another kid at a time where no one else did, while experiencing his own trauma. all of their hang-ups exist bc of that.

going back to their relationship in hoo, even trying to make percy uncomfortable w nico’s powers (and therefore not wanting to associate w nico) doesn’t work bc percy has gone on record and said he thinks some of nico’s powers are cool and has neutral responses to others, not to mention percy is also a big three kid who makes other ppl wary (i could write a whole meta on how what percy finds disturbing w nico’s powers is directly tied to what percy finds disturbing w his own powers, but i’ll restrain myself. please clap).

and if that wasn’t enough, the entire reason percy stood up to hera in botl is bc she was willing to let nico die specifically bc he doesn't fit in bc of those powers.

this plotline was tired before it even began.

you could argue that all of this changed w nico’s betrayal in tlo. but then why didn’t percy tell anybody when it happened in tlo (annabeth would’ve reacted to it if he had)? why did percy trust nico to come when he called? why didn’t any of percy’s animosity come out afterwards at camp? and in the throne room, percy didn’t have to single nico out w his wish. he didn’t have to watch nico to make sure he was settling in. but he did. and because he did, any writing that suggests percy doesn't trust or care abt nico bc of that is bad writing. maybe rick forgot this, but u can be angry w and hurt by the ppl you love and still love them.

even the justification that nico lied in son isn’t good enough to completely change their relationship, bc it’s pretty clear why nico lied and percy says he can’t stay angry at nico when they rescue him, and let me remind u, anger is a core part of percy's character. while nico lying might be enough for characters like leo and jason, who have no rapport w him, to doubt him, it’s not enough for percy. and why are we so obsessed w dismantling percy and nico’s friendship anyway? why is that necessary to the story? like i said before, ppl can have friends without coming out. isolating the only queer character (at the time) isn’t necessary.

this conflict doesn’t even work in hoo bc their distance is still one-sided…

when did percy not give nico a second chance in hoo? the only times they’ve interacted prior to this was when percy remembered nico in son and tried to talk to him and then when they saved his life. and then nico brushes off percy's gratitude and tells him to back off. this is not nico idolizing percy who doesn't care abt him. this is percy reaching out and yet again nico putting distance between them.

and, obviously, this doesn’t work at all w pjo when the entirety of botl exists, you know, where percy chose to trust and protect nico and then went out of his way to make sure nico knew percy held none of nico’s anger against him. it’d be one thing if nico was supposed to be wrong, but considering how there’s an entire arc in hoo abt jason being the first person to trust nico, and tsats seriously acts like percy only ever talked to nico when he needed something, it’s safe to say this comes from a place of stupidity.

ok. this sections getting long, so i moved the it was stupid to have percy give jason a reason to doubt nico section to a new post. but know that i'm aware and i think it's stupid.

back to the point of all these retcons w percy. there's nothing in hoo that necessitates changing percy and nico's relationship from pjo. while percy in hoo is never cruel to nico, they act like strangers for some reason. so, it's changed for no reason and it's written poorly.

sigh. and then all of chb is retconned (or recycled if you’re feeling generous).

the ppl at camp accept him while his cabin gets built. pretty nice. then in boo nico reveals they got tired of him after a week–which is still summer–despite there being an influx of kids from all descents, some of whom would be weird or uncomfortable or whatever this justification is. that’s not even mentioning how percy’s own experiences (remember how he was ostracized…multiple times…) should have made them more accepting of nico.

why…was this necessary at all…? especially when u have an entirely different camp that treats nico as weird bc they didn’t have that good experience w him? this is really what gets me. if rick wanted to be lazy and repeat nico’s arc, he could’ve done so without retconning things.

for example, with the seven, leo, piper, jason, and maybe annabeth (she doesn’t have much to say abt nico in pjo), i could understand having animosity towards nico, as well as camp jupiter, but retconning established relationships to make ur only (at the time) queer character isolated and miserable only to then have his coming out be violent and traumatic is. well. bad! especially when the person who is w him for that experience is not someone he has built any sort of camaraderie w. nico isn’t choosing to trust jason, he’s being forced to.

and the whole nico-needs-to-learn-to-trust-ppl plot doesn’t work anyway bc of rick’s inconsistencies.

jason has a moment much like frank where he doesn’t want to go anywhere w nico bc nico is so weird and scary. nico has every right to pull himself away from ppl who treat him like he’s got something contagious. and there’s more:

“since when does jason defend nico,” as in they have shit on nico before and jason has not, in the past, defended nico. as in nico had every reason to not trust jason prior to this bc everyone, including jason, were talking shit behind his back. why are we acting like nico is being unreasonable? oh no, y’all are talking behind my back…clearly it’s my fault bc i push everyone away and that has nothing to do w ur behavior or anything…yes this is good writing.

and we’re supposed to believe that jason (and reyna and hedge and will) is the first person to be kind/reach out to nico, but we have this scene from botl where percy comforted nico and gave him a piece of his childhood back:

and this is after percy cleared the air to make sure nico knew he didn’t hate him and offered to make accommodations for nico at camp and then respected and understood why nico wouldn’t want to. like,

woah, you’re telling me that a character reaches out to nico after a traumatic experience in an act of kindness and this helps nico grow as a person? and it happens multiple times?! yeah, apparently rick and fandom have completely forgotten abt this (also hazel exists???). they’re even phrased similarly! “maybe it’s time to take a risk and embrace something you’ve pushed away.” furthermore, they both support their point by helping nico, percy by inviting nico into his home to enjoy cake and ice cream, jason by drinking from the chalice. once more w feeling: nico has been loved the entire goddamn time!

i get what rick was trying to accomplish w the whole cupid scene concept. which is that it’s okay to be gay and that it can feel very “othering” to be gay. nico has to accept himself in order to make friends. that’s what this

and this

are trying to say, right, but this doesn’t work when you’ve blatantly retconned established relationships to have characters push nico away for his powers/parentage/whatever. nico’s struggle is not an internal issue that can be solved by accepting himself, it’s an external issue caused by how other ppl treat him for his powers/parentage (which he has never been shown to reject btw).

the thing is, the powers-as-queerness metaphor only works when you don’t have, you know, characters who aren’t queer going through similar ostracization. not only was percy ostracized at chb in tlt for his powers/parentage (very similar to nico!), percy has a moment in this same book where his powers terrify annabeth, and then piper in the next book, in which he, you know, lets himself almost die to poison bc he feels like he “deserved it” for using those powers. again, this is not queer-coding for percy (unless…?). moreover, like i said, nico doesn’t reject his powers, so the whole queer-coding w powers and needing to accept himself is already iffy (...rejecting powers...hold the fuck up…percy isn’t…unless…). even the out-of-time metaphor doesn’t work bc it’s something he shares w hazel, who is not canonically queer (unless…?!). so, already, we’re on shaky metaphorical ground. all of this could work, theoretically, if combined w strong writing, but combined w the retconning and inconsistencies, this plotline makes no cohesive sense.

we’re supposed to believe that nico is the one pushing everyone away while they are secretly super supportive while simultaneously being shown that everyone talks and thinks shit that affirms nico’s thoughts abt them that makes him want to pull away. and then in boo we completely ignore that these ppl have been pushing nico away and suddenly everyone (reyna, hedge, will, etc) is supportive.

pick a struggle!

also nico’s coming out scene in boo sucked (yeah this is the segue).

this is the culmination of nico’s arc in hoo. he’s finally accepted himself enough to speak the truth without pressure. we ruined percy and nico’s established relationship for this. and they don’t even have a conversation. then nico walks over to will bc percy, “regular guy” percy, is “not [his] type.” don’t look too deep into that.

so, how would i fix the cupid scene? well.

there were a million different ways to write a better arc for nico and earn that cupid scene. for example, rick could’ve stuck to a plotline.

the trust plotline could’ve been good. bc this exact thing is what causes the accidental kidnapping situation in tlo. nico doesn’t trust percy enough to tell him the truth and chooses to manipulate and lie to percy instead. this choice is what sets up their conflict bc percy views this as betrayal (something that’s important to a guy who’s fatal flaw is loyalty).

it’s also interesting bc nico does choose to trust ppl in hoo; he eats the pomegranate seeds despite not knowing that someone is coming for him, he just trusts that someone will (we’re ignoring what boo says abt nico’s tartarus experience bc fun fact! that is also retconned). and it pays off, bc not only does he get saved, we see hazel and percy even willing to challenge the other members of the seven to make sure he gets saved. so, it’s not a lesson he’s already learned, it’s a lesson he’s learning. but, going back to the main question here, would the cupid scene still be necessary? was being dragged into tartarus and almost dying not enough spectacle?

regardless, my biggest problem w the cupid scene in all of this is that it gives the impression that u have to come out in order to have ppl love u and trust u. a much better message to send is that the ppl who love u will love u before and after u come out. no isolation necessary.

[danrifics]

Hello Bethanie. my name is Nelson and i have been dating Dan for the past year and i need advice

it all started a year ago, i am from Ireland but i was visiting some friends in London. just a few months prior, i got out of a longterm relationship and was feeling down, so they took me to a gay bar to lift my spirits and thats where i saw him, the most glorious hunk of a man you’ve ever seen, the type of man you’d risk everything for, the type of man who’s smile alone could send you to the ground, the type of man you’d take home to your parents… That man was…..Phil lester. but he was unfortunately already talking to another guy but, next to him was Dan, standing there awkwardly with a hint of jealousy in his eyes as Phil chatted up the other man. I mean, Dan was very attractive but he was no Phil. “oh well. i suppose i could still take him home to meet my parents” i thought to myself as i gathered up enough courage to talk to him. as soon as i walked over to him, he started loudly flirting with me, complementing my accent and laughing at jokes i didn’t even make. almost like he was trying to prove something as he profusely glanced over at phil and the man he was talking to. Phil didn’t seem to care and i didn’t think anything of it. before i knew it Dan took me back to his house and we hooked up. the next morning i was a little shocked to find out Phil was Dan’s roommate and they built the house together. i thought it was a little strange but i overlooked it and Dan and i decided to continue seeing each other.

our relationship started off perfectly! i think we’re truly in love! however recently i started noticing some….things. for our 6 month anniversary, Dan went all out and got reservations to a fancy restaurant, i was ecstatic! i got all dressed up and headed all the way to London only to find out he took Phil with him instead…. and then valentine’s day 2024, i bought Dan very expensive gifts and he came all the way to Ireland and showed up on my doorstep with flowers and chocolates. i thought they were for me but he just asked me if i thought Phil would like them and left. then there was 3 weeks ago. it was my birthday but no one realized and i spent the day watching Dan film some really weird video with Phil, something about slime or something. they held hands and at some point Dan wore Phil’s jacket???? but it’s not just Dan, whenever Dan calls my accent sexy, Phil starts doing a very insulting impersonation of an Irish accent.

Bethanie do you think this means anything? am i overthinking things? im fairly certain these things mean nothing and Dan and i are in love but i think confirmation that im just being silly from you would help a lot!

nelson... hun... im so sorry i have to break this to you... but i think your boyfriend is in love with another man..... i looked up your boyfriend and his friend phil and i watched some videos and theres this one video dan made where he basically says he's in love with phil and im so mad for you that you had to find out this information from me, i think you deserve better nelson......

[hp-hcs]

(Fine, I’ll do it my damn self: part 6 of my silly lil mlm stories <3)

love triangle — rival! ron weasley x male! reader

solving a love triangle in the only correct (and gay) way

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Hey, Hermione,” you said with a cheeky grin, sitting across from her.

She glanced up. “Hey, Y/N..?”

“D’you wanna go to the Yule Ball with me?”

“Oh! Uh, that’s very sweet of you to offer-”

“-but I’m sure Hermione would much rather go with someone else,” interrupted the annoyance that was Ron Fucking Weasley.

You glared at him. “But of course, going to a dance with a platonic date is rather pathetic, wouldn’t you agree, Granger?”

Ron opened his mouth to snap back, when Hermione interrupted the both of them. “Boys, boys, you’re both pretty, stop fighting. I’ve already got a date.”

You turn to look at her quizzically, saying at the same time as Ron, “Who?”

“Well, if you must know, Viktor Krum.”

~~~

The Ball crept closer, Hogwarts’ halls alive with excited whispers and laughs. It seemed like everyone had a date except for you. And Ron, you supposed.

(And Ron’s friend, Harry. Although you had sneered in passing to the ginger, “looks like he’s got eyes for your sister, Weasley,” which had almost led to a fight breaking out in the halls as he hollered for you to “shut your bloody mouth!”)

((Sure enough, within the week, Harry Potter had a date to the Yule Ball—Ginny Weasley. You took great pleasure at smiling smugly at Ron whenever you saw him.))

Hermione’s rejection hadn’t deterred either of you though. Ron seemed determined to outdo you. When you gave her a tiger lily you’d picked in Herbology, Ron sent a bouquet of flowers to her dorm. When you split a Chocolate Frog with her, Ron took her to Honeydukes. Anytime you saw each other in the halls, you glared daggers sharp enough to make the paintings rattle on the walls uncomfortably. It was all-out war.

Even the teachers seemed to notice, for better or for worse.

“I’m taking your girlfriend to Flourish & Blotts this weekend, Weasley,” you whispered casually under your breath to your elbow partner in Potions.

“I swear to Merlin, L/N, I’ll-”

“Mr. Weasley, Mr. L/N, if you’d care to pay attention rather than chatter about your meaningless weekend plans,” Professor Snape drawled, glaring his beady little eyes on you both. “Ten points from Gryffindor.”

You stifled a giggle under your breath, accidentally making eye contact with Ron, whose embarrassed expression and red-tinged ears made you just absolutely lose it. You had to clamp one hand over your mouth to prevent any laughter from escaping.

Then, much to your surprise, Ron started chuckling quietly too, cheeks still flushed from the reprimand.

“Pay attention,” he drawled under his breath in a mocking imitation of Snape. You snorted, clearing your throat to disguise the noise when the Professor in question whirled around to see who dared disrupt his class.

~~~

After class, you elbowed Ron in the hall. “Man, Snape’s such a dick, right?”

“Totally. He’s got it out for me, I swear.”

“I think he’s just got it out for Gryffindors in general. Remember when he antagonized Longbottom so bad that he was his boggart?”

“Yeah, that was brutal,” Ron shook his head, as you both walked to your next class together. “Hey, look, I just wanted to say like, sorry? I’ve been kind of an ass to you this whole year…” Ron trailed off.

“Nah, it’s fine, man. I haven’t been much better. I think we both kind of got caught up in the competition of asking her out,” you shrugged. There was no reason to clarify who her was. “Truce?”

“Yeah,” Ron smiled. “I’d like that.”

~~~

So here you were, alone at the Yule Ball, your friends having left you to dance with their dates. You leaned against the wall, watching the couples twirl around with a mild tinge of jealousy. Sipping your drink, you surveyed the crowd, appraising everyone.

When your eyes landed on Hermione, who was being lifted up and spun around by Viktor Krum, your first thought was not one of envy, but rather, she would’ve looked much better in blue. Your gaze drifted to her date, and lingered on Krum for a moment too long.

Damn, he looks good, you thought to yourself, blinking quickly at the thought. Where did that come from?

Ron sidled up to you, looking rather smug for someone wearing such an ugly outfit. “She’s having the time of her life, isn’t she?”

“Huh? Oh- yeah, yeah, I guess,” you mumbled, your gaze drifting back to Viktor.

How can someone look so hot? That ought to be illegal.

Ron’s eyes narrowed, and he followed your gaze. “Merlin, dude. Are you staring at Krum?”

“What? No! S-shut up!”

He snickered, patting your shoulder patronizingly. “S’alright, man. I’ve been watching Diggory all night myself.”

Your eyebrows raised in surprise. “You’re-”

“Yeah,” he cut you off, lips thinning a bit. “That bother you?”

“Not a hypocrite, Weasley.”

He glanced at you, clearly taken off guard. You kept his gaze for a long moment, finding the way his blush matched his hair to be rather cute.

“Care to dance then, L/N?”

“If you can keep up, Weasley.”

You two took to the dance floor, twirling around like idiots and laughing loudly. Neither of you noticed your respective friends, and the teacher chaperones, watching on in morbid fascination.

And when you kissed at the end of the song, neither of you noticed Harry scowling as he handed both Ginny and Hermione a galleon each.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - There's so much airing even I'm struggling to keep up

That's why I'm late.

Aug 2023 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 6 of 8 - Oh no. I am totally in love with the escaped young master & his smitten bodyguard. How did that happen? (Be careful P’Thee the broken ones are the most tempting. Tin understands.) NO SINGING! Trust Thai BL to destroy any moment of sentiment I might have by picking up a damn guitar. And we finally get Charn’s Batman villain origin story. Good use of back hug! This is a GREAT show. Melodramatic as fuck, but GREAT. Gotta say this pair in NOT Thailand’s best kissers but not everyone can be Zee++. Still I think that + singing + a touch of overacting is likely to keep this out of the 10/10 club.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 1 of 12 - Rich /poor dynamic with characters & set up exactly as expected. Chimon is great. Perth is good too. A real rich-kid bully, Heirs level or Japanese F4 evil. All the teachers are also corrupt (that’s kinda a Thai thing, I think because they can't call out the government). I gotta say, Marc is doing a bang-up job as the jock friend, too. And the kiss twist was fun. All in all, this is good. And you know me, I love a high school BL.

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Sat YT) ep 1 of 12 - The time travel historical romance many of us have been waiting for. Adaption of y-novel by Violet Rain, from the producers of Lovely Writer. Heartbroken architect is transported to the 1930s. Nonkul (actor playing Jom) keeps reminding me of Cho Han Gyeol from Love Mate. It’s a bit slow to start but interesting when it hits its stride. The pacing feels like a Chinese historical (makes me wonder if this with be 4 or 6 act structure). Nonkul is a wonderful actor. They weren’t sharing the screen for long, but the leads seem good together. I’m in. 

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 2 of 10 - Well. It’s entertaining, I'll say that for it. Addiction. Manipulation. Queer as folk & all that jazz. (No jazz for you, Thailand. Oh no! I’m giving them ideas.) I would like it to turn out that Mew is actually manipulating everything. This is his revenge con on Top. Mew is, after all, supposed to be "the smart one." Gotta say, this is darn near perfect casting. But honestly? This show could just be about Ray & Sand. Their story (and them in it) is easily the most riveting. Sand better be careful, the wildly broken ones are always the best in bed, because they don’t care ao they have no shame and that's HOT.

Hidden Agenda (Sun GMMTV YouTube) ep 6 of 10 - I like how soft Joke’s version of seme flirting is. It’s mellow, like his voice gets with Zo. I also liked Zo casually chatting to his friends about how he feels about being flirted with. His friends gave good advice & were supportive. Oh no! A boy in a BL went into the rain ALONE. What ON EARTH will happen next? The argument was interesting, because it gave us insight into Zo’s maturity & ability to handle a relationship. I’ve been wondering why anyone would like him, and now I know. Joke & Nita’s backstory is fun. I like the gay boy protecting the straight girl reverse beard action. On a complete aside, I really like Dunk’s makeup in this series. It’s very Kdrama.

Low Frequency (Sat iQIYI) ep 7 of 8 - The house ghosts trying to help are cute. The plot is at least... a plot? I don’t know. Dias Ex Mafia is a new one on me. (COME ON THAT’S A GREAT PUN, PRAISE ME!) I’m ready for this show to be over. 

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 7 of 12 - Honestly, the whole time I’m watching this I’m just thinking I wish JaFirst got better scripts. Speaking of, I don’t object, but these characters sure moved into sex fast. I really don’t quite understand how Daddy & Hot Doc got together so fast either. It feels like their story was meant to be spread out into the other episodes but didn’t get cut in properly, so it ended up all in this one? Or is it just the pacing is particularly bad in this show?

Dinosaur Love (Sun iQIYI) ep 8 of 10 eps - I have no idea what is going on. What are all of Dino’s friends doing? What do they want? what’s their point in the story? I’m even annoyed by Peak, and love him. Sex scene which they tried to make sexy. Operative word being tried. Although, there was some interesting after sex discussion about mechanics. And there was a cute bathtub chat about pet names. But this show is a lotta work for very little pay out. 

Wedding Plan (Wed YT & iQIYI) ep 5 of 7 - I like the sunshine sides? PUNCH LOM 2023! Trash watch here!

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 1 of 10 - Pushy older bro is Earn from Love Sick, yay! And he’s the hyung of a side couple, which is "best friend’s older brother" trope! My favorite!!!! Have we seen this in BL before? I don't think so. Anyway, DOUBLE YAY! The main couple… eh. You know I loathe stalker characters. And I viscerally HATE this one. Almost as bad as SCOY, not sure I can take it, actually. The squealing of "Tammy!" is worse on my ear than any off-key guitar strumming. I may have to DNF or fast forward through all his parts… but he’s the lead. What to do? I do like the “Chinese” businessman actor. He very cute. (On an aside, I was just reading about commercial real estate as the loophole for foreign property investors in Thailand. Cool plot point.) I’m getting a Taming of the Shrew vibes from this. Just me? For now it's living at the bottom of the list for sheer unadulterated loathing of Phumjai. Not the actor, he was my favorite and only good thing about Our Days. But this character? NO.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thur Viki) ep 5 of 8 - This is basically the gay Boys Over Flowers of my heart. Or as close as I think we’ll get from BL. I like both of the 2nd leads, even though I suspect Simon of actually being into everyone’s fav hyung. Cute to see the Mr Heart boys back on my screen, oh so briefly. Such a Taiwan trick, reusing a beloved couple like that. Nice gimmie to the fans. Meanwhile, Choi Jun - boy sure knows his angles but his motives? Please don’t let this be another arranged marriage beard situation? I can’t take 2 in the same month. 

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 8 of 10 - The boyfriends ep! JC is biggest simp spoiling his baby EVER. Taiwan = the sappiest of saps. “Owning the same key” is such a cute way of putting it. Also I love the "knew all along" twist, made me happy. The angst is silly but that's normal in Taiwanese BL. 

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 3-4 of 10 - Pair 1: Lee Hyun is such a wide-open, bleeding, no-shame romantic. It’s kinda great. Boy has a poet’s soul & NO artifice. J-Min is startlingly good, very nuanced. I know I keep saying that, but I’m v surprised by his skillz. And… add in creepy stalker, goody. Pair 2: The "other student couple" I’m not into, also NO SINGING. Pair 3: The underwear gift was so fucking funny. “I’m going reap the boxers I sewed” is next level script excellence. These two are brilliant at gayest-of-gay flirt-negging, I'm INTO IT. One of my housemates said, in response to my audible cackling, "You seem to be enjoying your shows extra much tonight."  

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 2 of 8 - Oh I love love love them. It’s so old school yaoi and SO JBL. No other country could produce this kind of show. I love this little feminist aspect where the weatherman treats his boy like a 1950s housewife & said boy thinks that makes him an indentured servant. Clocks. But also, the way our weatherman LOOKS at his boy. He is so in love. (It looks like we skip next week for holiday reasons?) 

Sing My Crush (Korea Wed iQIYI) eps 5-6 of 8 - It remains enjoyable. 

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) ep 6 of 12 - At least we know Minato actually desires Shin, he just won’t do anything about it. Also, Minato chose the perfect person to come out to. That's nice for him. Finally, Shu & Asuka are glorious. Sides are winning these days.

Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) ep 3 of 5 - A proper faen fatal has entered one of our couples. She won too, since she ended up marrying the boy. Still not sure about this show (and it should have convinced me by now). I definitely like the tattoo couple better than the reunion couple. Still, not a lot happened in this episode and this is short series, they don’t have time to waste. It remains intriguing but not... erm... good.

In case you missed it

River Knows Fish Heart is leaving Gaga soon. It's a decent little bully romance Chinese BL (pulp) - yes, you read that right. Actual CBL. Not great, but if you're into the CBL stuff, especially the early stuff, this has some of that tenor only made in 2018 (I have a feeling it was shot in 2017 and skated through). Anygay, just staying. Catch it before it disappears because with CBL once they gone, often, they gone forever.

Friend. Boy Friend a new Thai BL pulp was supposed to start airing on Aug 19th. I can't find it. Neither can MDL.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Everything from Thailand seems to be dropping on Sat & Sun this month. It's a good thing I got quiet weekends for a while. Also the BL firehose is upon us, so much content.

Starting this week:

8/20 (tomorrow) My Universe series (Sun iQIYI) 24 eps - This is sampler pack BL, 12 pairs, each pair gets 2 eps, not sure on the order they’ll drop. Known couples include EarthBank from Destiny Seeker and KaownahTurbo from Love Stage!!!, fresh faces otherwise. Jane to direct.

8/22 Kisseki: Dear to Me formerly known as Miracle (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) 13 eps - From screenwriter Lin Pei Yu (We Best Love, H3: Trapped) features a student doctor forced to take care of a gangster. I love the premise and like the writer.  

8/23 Why R U? (Korean remake iQIYI) 8 eps - I find everything about this hilarious. I mean if Korea remakes it, we lose all the sexy and then... would we have a story at all? No we would not. Not even for 8 short eps. It’d be like one of those mesh shopping bags.

8/24 Man Suang (Thailand movie, domestic cinema release) - historical drama about Thai burlesque with KP’s MileApo. 

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Another show reviewing itself. (Dino Love)

Don't insult bastards, Lom. (Wedding trash)

I would like this adorable romcom GMMTV, please and thank you.

See what I mean? Trixy.

Thanks boys. (All Only Friends)

(Last week) 

[sspidrwebz]

🎧 Airpods | Gwen x Fem!Reader 

word count | 1785 notes | fluff, wlw, no physical desc of reader, no mention of y/n

also this is my first fic!! feel free to req anything or give me constructive criticism!!

fluff under the cut!! <33

You were bored and lonely this weekend, so you decided to make the relatively short journey to your friend Gwen’s house. Her dad was gone for what you could only assume would be most of the day, and you figured it would be nice to have some calming alone time with her.

Now, you’re both laying on her bed, sharing a pair of Airpods and listening to soft indie music together. You’ve been like this for a long time, staring at the ceiling without a word said for hours. That is, until you catch her staring at you with a faint smile on her face.

You can’t help smiling a bit back at her as you turn to face her. “What’re you smiling about?” you ask curiously.

There’s a certain brightness to her eyes that gives you a warm feeling. “Just looking at you,” she replies, before pausing for a few moments, looking into your eyes unblinkingly, a sort of calm focus on you. “Probably a little weird to say, but I've honestly never really had the chance to just stare at you, y'know?”

Your smile grows a bit wider at her answer, and you find yourself blushing a little. "O-Oh, well.. I suppose not, huh?" you agree with a flustered laugh, having been caught off guard by the comment.

"Mhm." She keeps smiling at you before looking out the window, seeming to think for a little bit in silence. "This is really nice, y'know?" She looks back over to you. "Just… us. Like this." And she motioned to both you and the bed. "This is probably the most relaxed I've felt in a while. It's nice being able to just exist next to you."

Her words create a warm feeling in your heart that you couldn't ignore if you wanted to, and for a minute you just look at her happily before sighing pleasantly and looking back up to the ceiling in thought. 

You two remain in the comfortable silence for a few moments before Gwen decides to speak up again, her voice soft and sweet. "This probably sounds stupid, but..." She sighs softly. "Is it alright if I hold your hand?" she mumbles, not looking over at you as if to hide her slight embarrassment at her own request.

The blush on your face is definitely noticeable after that, but your voice is still somewhat calm, calm enough to not be read as easily as your face. "Yeah, that's fine with me," you simply reply, letting your hand lay palm facing up on the bed as your arm reaches out for her.

Without even hesitating, she reaches out her hand to take yours. Immediately, she feels safe. There’s something about her best friend being so close, so warm, so comforting that makes her feel a little more at ease. Gwen squeezes your hand lightly and brings it slightly closer to her side, placing her free hand underneath it. It’s a small gesture, but a loving and tender one.

After a few minutes of more silence, you finally speak up again. When you do, your voice is soft and gentle, and you don't bother looking away from the ceiling as you talk to her. "You make me feel safe." There's a bit of a pause as you think to yourself. "I've always been the girl who just… I don’t know. It’s just hard to make, like- genuine friends, you know? I used to dream of having these kinds of moments with people, and I guess I’m just… really happy I get to have it with you."

Her lips curve up in a slightly embarrassed smile. She knows it’s cheesy as hell what she’s about to say and knows she’s going to cringe at herself afterwards, but she doesn’t care. "I always thought a boyfriend was supposed to be the one who made me feel safe, but if I'm being honest I've felt the most safe and at home with you." She squeezes your hand again. "I know that's probably so lame and cliche, but I can't help it. It's just the truth."

You snicker softly in response. "Can't relate to that much, especially since I'm gay as hell," I add with another slight laugh. "But I get what you mean, and... I'm glad we can be like that."

Gwen chuckles with you. Your response was unexpected, but it was a good mood lifter. She brings her thumb up to slowly run it along the outside of your hand and the top of your wrist. The movement is small, but it’s comforting.

"Do you think this is what a boyfriend feels like?" She asks you curiously. "I know some people say it's a completely different feeling between a friendship and, like- an actual relationship, but… the way we are kinda feels like one of those romance books sometimes.”

You shrug a little. "Maybe. I honestly wouldn't know. Never had a girlfriend myself, so I have no clue what romance even is at this point. My brain just kinda says 'women are cool' and just skips out on the instructions for how to get one or something.”

She chuckles again. "Same, honestly. I just look at girls and think they're cute." She paused, her brows furrowing in thought. "I've always wondered how it would feel to be with a girl. Like, is it that much different from being with a guy or…? I've never really had the balls to ask that question or test it myself so, there's that.”

You shrug again, thinking to yourself as I answer her. "I dunno. I mean, I always kinda hated men, so I'm kinda biased to make a statement on it. But if I were to guess, yeah; it's probably different. Maybe not too much, but enough."

She hums, her brows knitting again. "It's crazy that we're like, almost the same." She giggled and looked over at you with a playful smile. "Like, have you ever kissed a girl before?"

She hesitates. "Sorry, I know that's a loaded question but I'm trying to test this boyfriend feeling I have."

You nod with a smile, turning to her finally. "Yeah. Only once, though."

Gwen's heart speeds up as she tries not to get too excited with the answer you gave her. "I was hoping you would say that." She takes a deep breath. "Can I ask you to do something for me?"

I turn a little more toward her after she asks me this. "Yeah, sure. What's up?"

Gwen's cheeks pink instantly as she speaks her next words quietly. "Would you be willing to kind of… show me what it's like to kiss a girl? I've always wondered what it's like, and I trust you a lot so I know you probably won’t hate me if I ask..” She looks away from you slightly, embarrassed by her request. "Sorry if that's weird."

Your face goes red for a moment, but you smile in a bit of amusement to better hide your flustered state. "Oh! Well... well, do you want to? I can if you want me to, I just wanna, like... make sure."

Gwen's face lights up with relief and excitement. "Oh, yeah! I mean, if you're up to it." There’s a moment of silence, Gwen's eyes looking away from you while she’s thinking. Finally, she looks back over at you with a grin, getting closer to you on the bed. "Just… don’t make fun of me if I'm bad at this."

You chuckle softly. "Nah, I wouldn't do that to you," I say, smiling as I sit up from my spot for a moment. “Besides, everyone’s bad at romance and stuff at some point, right?”

She giggles quietly, bringing her face over towards you and closing the distance between them to mere inches. Her blue eyes, now with flecks of green in them when exposed to the sunlight from the window, stare directly into yours. Her lips look soft and pillowy, and she wants nothing more than to feel your mouth against hers, though she can’t quite tell why. "So… how is this supposed to work? Can I just kiss you, or… do we wait for the three seconds of staring like we’re in a Hallmark movie?”

 You can't help laughing again at her joke. "Don't be silly, Gwen, Hallmark doesn't have the balls to be gay," you say before going silent and just staring between her eyes and her lips, slowly leaning in.

Gwen's eyes close in anticipation as she feels you starting to lean in. Her heart is beating so fast it’s all she can feel. She’s so close that she can feel your breath against her lips. When you finally close the gap, your lips meeting hers with just enough pressure for you both to feel it. Gwen breathes out softly and lets a small moan slip out. The feeling of your lips against hers is electric. She feels like the world has temporarily stopped and that nothing exists but herself and you.

The sound she makes genuinely sends a shock through you, and a good one too. You kiss her slow and gentle, but there's something so intimate about the moment itself that you could never describe even with all the words in the world.

It’s as if she could feel every part of your body against hers. Your arms around her, your hands grazing against her body, your face touching hers. The moment is all she could think about. You were everything.

Her hands rest on the back of your neck as she tilts her head slightly to the side for the most optimal spot for kissing. It’s better than any romance movie, any kiss she’s ever had with a guy, any dream she's had about being with a woman. This is real and she couldn't be more grateful for it.

You could go on like this forever if you wanted to, but after a few more seconds you force yourself to slowly pull away from the kiss, from her, and as you do your eyes slowly open again and the entire time, they're locked on hers.

Up until now, the music in your ear had faded into the background, and your brain hadn’t been recognizing any other sound except your thoughts. But now, as you finally allow yourself to listen, eyes still locked on hers, you recognize the song almost immediately. Girls by Girl in Red. Of course. You smile widely.

“Gwendolyn Maxine Stacy, you listen to Girl In Red? And still thought you were straight?” you tease, nudging her very lightly. She just smiles back, face as red as yours, if not more. 

“I think it’s safe to say I’m definitely not.”

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im probably gonna do a hobie one next, so stay tuned if you wanna see that!! love yall, see ya soon!!

[williamrikers]

okay. fuck. i need to talk about be my favorite. because jesus christ, this might be THE smartest show currently airing, which is a miracle at a time when la pluie is also airing.

so, this episode we learned more about kawi's and pisaeng's family backgrounds, and oh boy, is there a lot to unpack there... and it all works to explain why the original timeline was the way it was, why everything turned out so fucked up for both of them in the beginning.

(very rambly thoughts under the cut)

first of all, it's important to note how much of an impact kawi's father's death had. it was always clear that this was a traumatizing event in kawi's life, literally the first thing he did when he went back in time was to ditch the (supposed) girl of his dreams so he could be with his father, tearfully hug him and tell him "i love you, dad".

now, we're learning that after his father's death, kawi completely gave up on himself. he literally didn't see any reason to pursue a better life or his dreams because his father would never get to see it and be proud of him. i think this also explains to some extent why kawi has so much trouble accepting help from others: he has internalized the idea that he somehow has to do everything on his own, so his father (and others) can be proud of him. it's interesting that kawi obviously loves his father a lot but they're not really close: they don't see each other very often and in the first episode, it's established that they don't usually talk to each other about their feelings, either.

so. everything else that happened to kawi in the og timeline (knot making fun of his singing, pisaeng "stealing" his spot as pear's secret buddy, his falling out with max, kawi being too much of an introvert to make any new friends at uni) was compounded by the fact that after his father's death, kawi saw no hope for himself any more, and he ended up alone, isolated, friendless, depressed and deeply unhappy.

and now that we're learning more about pisaeng as well, it's becoming clear that something similar happened to pisaeng in the og timeline as well, only for him it was not a single event but more the reality of him being gay and having a crush on kawi (come on. nobody can tell me he DIDN'T crush on that cute awkward nerd as soon as kawi dropped his lil notebook in front of the seniors on the first day of uni), but kawi never even speaking to him and completely ignoring his existence... while pisaeng's own mother was adamant about pisaeng staying as deep in the closet as possible because it's bad for her political ambitions to have an out gay son. she basically tells him "you can feel whatever you want to feel but telling people about it is something that you should only do with my permission".

so, pisaeng has been getting told by his mother to stay in the closet since he was 15 years old (JESUS!!!), and since his crush is obviously unrequited and hopeless, why should he risk anything by being honest about it? his family is rich, pear's family too, their marriage is one of convenience for pisaeng, who gets to keep living his good life while placating his mother and spending his life with a person he's friends with, even if he can never love her romantically. from his mother's perspective, pear and pisaeng must be a good match, and pisaeng has no real reason to fight any of it. because coming out as gay would do nothing but cause him trouble and make him unhappy.

but in the new timeline, kawi is there as pisaeng's friend. and pisaeng falls for him so much deeper than he ever could have done in the og timeline. and now he HAS to figure himself out, HAS to confront his own queerness, not for kawi or even with kawi (utterly brilliant choice in the last episode to have pisaeng go on this journey alone!) but for himself, because it is becoming clear that he is living a lie and that he can't go on like this. having kawi in his life changes everything for pisaeng -- even if they weren't in a bl and were simply friends, this storyline would still be incredibly compelling because even while they're not in a relationship, kawi and pisaeng keep challenging each other, keep changing each other, keep making each other better, more honest people.

when they're in bed together and kawi asks why pisaeng likes him, he says much of the same stuff he's said before: that pisaeng is better, richer, more handsome than him, that he can't understand what pisaeng sees in him. but he says it differently this time, not with anger or defiance like in the beginning of their friendship, but so honestly, he's able to open up to pisaeng in a way he never could before just because he has had pisaeng in his life and they have had an impact on each other.

i keep coming back to this because it's something i rarely see in stories and bmf is doing it AMAZINGLY. both of the protagonists go on a journey of growth and self-improvement through knowing each other, they literally make each other better. and even though kawi is not at a point where he can see them as equals, he can honestly talk about this now, can voice his feelings of insecurity in a way he was never able to before -- and so, pisaeng can say, well, i think you're cute, does there have to be anything more to it than that? he doesn't try to talk kawi out of his self-perception, merely states his own perception of him in a way kawi can't argue away. i think this is a smart writing choice because kawi has to accept that pisaeng finds him cute, he can't say "no you don't" without accusing him of lying.

and oh, my baby kawi being so incredibly deep in denial is tugging at my heartstrings. there's a very interesting parallel happening with kawi's singing, something he was obviously dreaming of as a career when he was a child but completely gave up on -- until pisaeng and pear helped him gain confidence to put himself out there once again. i think something very similar is happening with his sexuality: he has shoved the truth of himself so far back in his own mind that it takes a long time and the knowledge that pisaeng is into him for kawi to even entertain the thought of maybe also being into him maybe. there's a certain safety in that, just like there's safety in having pear there while he reads his song lyrics to a room full of people. and that's not a bad thing! this show has consistently shown (and outright told) us that people need to help each other, that literally no one is capable of making it on their own, that everyone deserves love and support. and kawi needs a lot of love and support to be able to even let himself think of pisaeng in romantic terms. i am seriously excited to see what happens next, now that kawi has crossed the line between them, now that he got a taste of what he could have if only he let himself.

there are probably a million things i haven't said that i can't think of right now. but every single episode leaves me more impressed than the last, the story is written SO well and presented in such a smart way, later revelations recontextualizing things we already know, and with every week, everything makes more and more sense. and learning more about their families really explains a lot about all three of them (god, i haven't even mentioned pear's rich upper-class alcoholic father, a lot to unpack there as well!), and how they got where they were in the og timeline as well as in the current timeline.

thanks for reading 😘

[artificial-transmutations]

Two sides of the same coin: First time at the sex shop

Mason was feeling uncomfortable. Even though he was gay, he was raised pretty conservatively, and thus, he had never been in a sex shop in all of his 26 years. Even the name: sex shop.

Not that there was anything wrong with it. It just made Mason feel a little weird, like he shouldn't be here, and that someone might walk in and ask him what he was doing here. Or that someone saw him in here who knew him. But as much as he was feeling uncomfortable, he also felt very curious, like he wanted to see what kind of things people bought in here, and, perhaps, even buy something himself.

While Mason has been out for some years now, he didn't find a boyfriend yet. Of course, being as uptight as he was raised, the thought of casual or anonymous sex using apps or the like wasn't an option for. So, his sexual experiences were pretty much limited to the occasional porn movie and, of course, his left hand (Mason was left handed).

Since he felt more and more dissatisfied with the experience, he had nurtured the idea of buying some... helpful gadgets. The thought alone made his head redden. The whole idea was so dirty and... wrong.

"Good evening, sir!" a voice sounded through the room, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Mason turned his head to look at the counter, only to see a young man looking back at him. He didn't look bad, had styled hair and a black shirt, with the upper two buttons unbuttoned.

"Can I help you find anything? My name is Dexter, and I'm happy to help you!" The clerk asked in a friendly tone.

"No, I'm okay", Mason said in an unsure voice. "I just..."

"Ah, you just want to look around. Okay, feel free! Let me know if I can be of any help!"

Even though Dexter had been extremely friendly, Mason felt even more uncomfortable. He quickly looked into the next best shelf besides him, only to find female lingerie on artificial boobs. Not what he was looking for. He wanted to quickly walk away, when he found something else on the shelf as well: A small sparkling coin that didn't look like it belonged here. Mason quickly pocketed it in order to give it to the clerk later.

As he walked away from the thin bras, he felt a bit disoriented. Which parts of the store were meant for gay men, and what areas were meant for women and straight people?

He could surely ask the helpful shop assistant, but in the process, Mason would need to out himself as gay. The thought was ridiculous. Mason wasn't in the closet about his sexuality, and he was pretty sure that a guy who worked at a sex store was asked worse questions than where the gay stuff was.

Nervously, he approached the clerk.

"Uhm, sorry!", Mason began, "but where should I look for... you know... men's stuff?"

The other man looked at him for a moment, then smiled again.

"Don't worry, I'll show you!", he answered in a kind voice and walked to the other side of the store, to the back, where all the male products were displayed.

"So, what are you looking for exactly? Condoms?"

"Oh no, I have those. Or rather, I don't need any right now. It's more...", Mason stumbled. How was he supposed to put this? "It's more about the... toys."

Dexter seemed to understand immediately.

"Oh, sure! Come with me!"

Dexter took him to a section on the wall filled with various dildos, butt plugs and other strange devices Mason had never heard of. He didn't even know the name of most of the stuff, let alone how to use them.

Apparently, Dexter picked up on his lost look and laughed in a friendly tone.

"Don't worry, I see you're probably new to all this. Let's start at the beginning. Are you looking for something for the back or the front?"

"Ehm... what's the difference?" Mason asked. He didn't understand the question and was feeling uncomfortable and hot and was sweating under his clothes.

"Well, there are butt plugs and dildos and a variety of vibrators that go into your ass. And then, of course, there are cock rings, flesh lights and so on to stimulate your penis." Dexter talked about this as if it was the most normal thing in the world, which was both confusing and attractive to Mason. In fact, the whole situation was made a bit worse by the fact that Dexter was really good looking!

"Uhm... " the thought of stuffing something into his ass sounded frightening, so he answered: "The front, in that case. What are these... fleshlights?".

"They are big fun", answered Dexter nonchalantly. "You can put them on your cock and feel like you are fucking someone, or like someone is sucking you off. There are models that look like an ass, or models that look like a mouth. Here." He showed Mason one of the latter, a black cylinder with a plastic mouth.

"Uh, okay. But how do they feel? Can I try it?" Mason had absolutely no idea why he asked the last part. Of course not, that was ridiculous.

As expected, Dexter shook his head. "Sadly, no, that wouldn't be very hygienic. But I assure you, they feel a lot like a blowjob."

"Oh, okay. Uhm. The thing is, I don't know how *that* feels, too..." Mason said. Why did he keep talking? That really wasn't the shop assistants business.

Dexter blinked before smiling again. He looked through the otherwise empty store and said: "I think I can help you with that, if you like."

"What?" Mason asked, surprised. Did he just offer to... what? What did that mean?

"A blowjob." The shop assistant explained. "If you like, I can give you one. Just sit down over there." He pointed at the nearby chairs.

Mason was so shocked by the sudden turn of events that he just mechanically obeyed, and before he knew it, he was sitting in front of the other man, who smiled and reached for Mason's fly. "May I?" he asked politely, and as Mason nodded, he unzipped Mason's pants and pulled them down along with his underwear.

Mason's cock was already hard, partly because of the situation and partly because Dexter was really his type.

"Oh, you have a pretty dick!" Dexter said and looked at it for a while before wrapping his lips around it.

Mason gasped in surprise. This was just... intense. This was something else entirely.

Dexter stopped for a moment and looked up at Mason. "Now, try to imagine it's not me sucking you off right now, but you're using a fleshlight instead. Just think of me as a fleshlight."

Mason nodded. He couldn't say he had tried a lot of stuff, but the idea wasn't bad. It sounded kind of sexy.

As Dexter was back to sucking his cock, he imagined that it was his cock in that cylinder-mouth-thing, and that Dexter was an empty hole. Automatically, he raised his left hand to the back of Dexter's head and supported his movements with careful pushes.

Suddenly, Mason felt the need to use his hands more freely, to grab the other man's head and move it along with his hips. So, he did. Dexter let out a low moan and bobbed his head faster.

It felt incredibly! With his right hand, Mason quickly discarded his shirt and his pants, completely forgetting where he was. He was getting more and more relaxed about the whole situation as well - so, what if someone saw him? There's nothing to it to receive a blowjob? It was like he was using a fleshlight, in a sex shop. Perfectly normal, at least for him! Sure, his friends sometimes called him a pervert, but he didn't see it that way. He was just living his life!

As Mason looked down, Dexter had changed a lot. His whole body had shrunk in on himself and pretty much all that was left was his head that Mason face fucked with joy. With each thrust, the thing that had once been Dexter, the shop assistant, changed more and more, becoming black and cylindrical, with a plastic texture on the outside. Finally, as the fleshlight's changes had finished, Mason threw back his head and moaned loudly, spilling his cum into the plastic toy.

After recovering for a few seconds, Mason removed the toy from his cock with a wet sound. It was modelled after a man's perpetually open mouth, just waiting for someone to stick his cock in again. It was a great product, really. Mason left the money for it on the counter (he was here so often and knew the owner, so this was okay) and pulled on his pants again before leaving the shop.

Mason couldn't wait until he gets home for round two. Perhaps he'd even start in the car.

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Also, if you fancy the thought of guys being reduced to objects in tandem with other guys using them, be sure to have a look at my other stories of the series.