#oh look it's the beginning of the end
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oh man...2 decades on earth...wow.
#i procastinated on this aaa#but anyways#i tried my best to encapsulate my thoughts and story with pokemon -- lots of tags to be put here be warned sfdsfdg#pokemon#pokemon fanart#my birthday...#pokemon sun and moon#pokemon black and white#pokemon x and y#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon super mystery dungeon#pokepark#pokemon xyz#pokemon lillie#pokemon n#pokemon az#pokemon arven#pokemon nemona#pokemon penny#pokemon kieran#terapagos#ogerpon#pecharunt#Oh and yes I was gardening when there was the Pokémon presents in august. Never forget that moment of excitement#20. 2 looks like z if you squish it. Also the end to teenagehood#and beginning of adulthood...z-a#I would have added/mentioned the manga and movies too but didn’t have much time to add them 😭#…looking back now I made ash a bit too light. 🤦♀️
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*clasps your shoulders gently and looks you straight in the eye*
Keferon. Please read Ninth by Kyn on AO3. I think you would love it very much. It has a large chapter count, but don't be intimidated, it's very easy to get into. It is currently unfinished, but is being updated regularly.
You are the seventh person that recommended this fic to me so ahahahaha yeah
I’m doing great Help I hate some parts of it but I love the other parts I’m spinning in the blender
…..I made the moodboard….
#chapter 37#of 120 or something#I must be like 90k words in haha#large word count is not an intimidation. It’s an invitation haha#I love the fics that I can’t read in just one hour:)#I gotta say I don’t enjoy the concept of making robots into organic life#it’s just my preference#seeing them as humans or animals or whatever feels so fucking wrong#the concept itself drives me off#like. Strongly#But at the same time. This fic isn’t about them being ‘haha cute organics’#it’s ‘oh god. I was turned into something I’m not’#instead of teeheee they’re fluffy#it’s please free me from this fucking nightmare. please let me be myself again.#idk how to explain. I resonate I guess#it often feels very disturbing but the characters are also disturbed#So now I’m kind of stuck reading this fic because I just can’t stop lol#just politely skipping the parts that make me too uncomfortable#also#the body horror is….damn. Impressive. I didn’t expect to read about grotesque fleshy creature turning itself inside out#it’s not even aesthetic or symbolic#it literally looks like a fucking nightmare. Which is impressive also.#the flesh is g r o s s#the beginning got me struggling and skipping#but the intermission is currently ruining my sleep schedule#oh fuck….I usually send my posts to the authors of the fics I read…..but I feel like I might offend the author of Ninth if do this……..#there’s a tiny chance they’re following me….if it’s true then I wanna tell I’m sorry pls don’t take this seriously#your fic got me waay out of my comfort zone#huge points for writing Ratchet. Drift in this fic is…the grossest fucking thing I could probably imagine but Ratchet doesn’t even hesitate#he helps him and he cares for him. Which is…..imma be real my first instinct would be to set Drift on fire to end his misery
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What is the PR disaster in question that made Rick announce TSATS? I wasn’t active in the online fandom at that point
Of course! This was awhile ago so it figures people don't remember it/aren't familiar:
Basically a couple years back (2020) the fandom had some posts circulate discussing the ways different characters in the Riordanverse were written poorly or offensively. There was a masterpost that went around tumblr but the two major points people were particularly focusing on were Piper and Samirah (particularly because Piper had featured prominently again in Trials of Apollo recently and the third MCGA book had further emphasized and discussed Samirah being Muslim, since it was supposed to take place during Ramadan). Basically each had multiple posts breaking down the ways they were depicted incorrectly or offensively. The entire fandom for a little bit was VERY intensely discussing this (and it's around this time the "RR crit" tag got very popularized on tumblr - it did exist before, but suddenly was being used VERY frequently - cause it was that wide-spread - though the discussion took over basically every side of Riordaverse social media on different platforms). People really wanted Rick to respond to these criticisms, so he did!
He made two blog posts, one about Piper and one about Samirah. He has since deleted both so the links are to archived versions. The short version: he essentially tried to justify his poor research and double-down that he hadn't written them offensively, actually, people were just being mean to him. The fandom, of course, reacted poorly to this.
[Further elaborated events under the cut since this got a bit lengthy]
(Fun fact, this all happened within a month or so of the time i posted an open letter on aphobic tropes in the Riordanverse that Rick replied to, and then he immediately followed with announcing that Reyna was intended to be ace-coded [which cause a LOT of fandom debate] before Rick dipped for a couple of weeks, and then came back to post the blog posts in response to Piper and Sam stuff. So I like to jokingly refer to this as "The time I imploded the fandom/drove Rick off of twitter." Twas I that set the house ablaze.)
Rick fully left social media after this and the LT Musical social media manager became Rick's social media manager for the time being.
So this all happened June/July of 2020. Tower of Nero would end up being published in October of 2020 and a few months after that Rick would state that he was done with the series and wouldn't be writing any more series installments involving Percy, and also that he wouldn't be writing a Nico quest following Tower of Nero as it "wasn't his place to" and encouraged the community to write their own versions of Nico's story.
The community continued to circulate the tumblr posts and discuss the topics of Rick's offensive character depictions, and this is also where we see the dramatic shift in how the fandom depicts Piper in fanwork (though in most cases it is admittedly not an improvement 😬) because of all this discussion. This is also around the time when the fandom brought Viria under scrutiny claiming that she was whitewashing Piper as part of the same discussions, through the justification that she was drawing Annabeth as having tan skin (which she does canonically), and if Annabeth has tanner skin then Piper then that's whitewashing Piper? Except they were using completely separate images of not fully rendered Piper art versus Annabeth in dramatic lighting, so it's all very awkward and poor logic, and did actually get kind of racist. A lot of people were calling it "Tannabeth Blackchase" (yeah, i know) or similar and a common sentiment you'd see repeated is "Don't draw Annabeth as having darker skin than Piper, because that's offensive/racist/whitewashing." (Note: it was not phrased "don't draw Piper as having lighter skin than Annabeth" - we also won't get into certain offensive depictions of Native Americans, but I digress). But yeah, the Annabeth stuff in all that did not age well at all.
Anyways, in October of 2021 however Rick would announce that he was co-writing The Sun And The Star - with a lot of heavy emphasis on how Mark Oshiro works as a sensitivity reader, and some false advertising from the official social media that Mark Oshiro was the first time a non-Riordan author would be collaborating on the series (disregarding the ghostwriters completely). One of the big criticisms in the breaking down of issues in Rick's writing was his lack of ever seeking a sensitivity reader, and fans claiming that a sensitivity reader could solve a lot of the problems. This was basically Rick's "look! I totally listened!!!!" (though it did little to actually improve things, based on the book) and in TSATS as well Piper gets a large cameo at the end where the text very directly addresses a lot of points made in criticism of Rick's writing of her.
We also then of course got the CoTG trilogy later, explicitly stated to be for advertising purposes for the show.
So basically, short version: Rick came under scrutiny for a lot of offensive writing within the span of two months, made some bad blog posts doubling down about it, left social media. TOA ends. Rick says he wasn't going to continue the series/write what would become TSATS. Community celebrates the end of of the franchise but also continues to discuss Rick's poor writing and the blog posts at length. Rick suddenly announces TSATS and Mark Oshiro's involvement. Everybody gets distracted from being mad. Show announcement stuff also happens and the discussions peter out.
#pjo#riordanverse#fandom history#rick riordan#rr crit#ask#boywithskull#anonymous#long post //#fun times fun times#im always amused by the bit where i come in. like oh yeah i played a major part in the middle of all of this#i didnt mean to but i was the beginning of the end#maybe thats why this book is my personal hell. its in direct retribution#its really weird though because Rick did not usually reply to people on twitter but he responded to my open letter WITHIN HALF AN HOUR#within half an hour of me posting it he replied and then rapid-fire replied to like two or three other random tweet questions#at which point he confirmed he wrote Reyna with her being alloromantic ace-coded in mind (''but you dont have to agree'')#(i should note also - rick's reply plus the ensuing tweets HEAVILY implies he did NOT actually read my open letter. lmao.)#dipped off twitter for a couple of weeks. came back to post his blog posts responding to criticism about Piper and Sam#and then left social media completely. people kept talking. oh look new book pspspsp. look show pspspsp.#but so. yknow. i did that. it was ME!!!!!! and i will never let him forget. i know what he did.#i will never let him live down shitty PR move to try and sweep those bad blog posts under the rug
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everything else ASIDE it is truly so so . strange. that the way that an arc about buck being so jealous and fast to get upset at the notion of being left behind that he reacts with violence against somebody that he loves . is wrapped up by. him getting a boyfriend. like it’s wrapped up by him getting a boyfriend who was the third person in that situation that served only as a catalyst for bucks jealousy. and the conclusion to this arc is him dating this person. instead of meaningfully addressing his issues with rejection and the danger of them to those around him. instead of apologizing to the person he hurt. it’s resolved by. he had a crush the whole time. STRANGEEEEEEE
#like it’s kinda. narratively bad at best and actually really upsetting at worst#i literally can’t even look at 7x04 like what do you MEAN that that’s how it was resolved. what in the world are they doing#even if some kind of more satisfying conclusion/acknowledgement is coming. that’s still how it ended then.#and that’s so so fucked#like if you heard about that you’d be like oh and then after the maddie scene he goes and apologized to eddie#and it shows how that’s the beginning of him working on his issues with rejection. right?#bc like literally where else can you go from there. but no?????#so so so strange i’ll never be over it#911 abc#buddie#everything else aside i could never like bt for this reason like i can’t look past that that’s how they began#it’s WEIRDDDDDD and so confusing like how do you even get from point a to point b.
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SmallFryz: NONONO– Fit, Fit, Fit– Listen, listen– We can talk this out, we can talk this out! 😨
Fit: See, that's the fighting spirit! There we go! Mano a mano!
SmallFryz: Fit– Fit, we're like brothers, man! How could you do this to me?
"There's no lore on JoeSMP" Maybe not, but there sure is drama! 🍿
#FitMC#SmallFryz#JoeSMP#Joe SMP#December 2 2024#Fit#Edited#Awh SmallFryz is a small streamer#Or at least from their Twitter it seems like that#I was immediately charmed by their cubito. And then I realized it was because he had a similar face to Pac's#OTL#Jokes aside their dynamic was very funny today. Fryz is funny. He came back and killed Fit later – I'll try and do some clips of that later#This was running too long though so I had to cut that out#Slight volume warning at the beginning#solely dependent on how loud you usually keep your headphones#I keep mine on low but YMMV#Maybe I should've lowered that more sorry#No full transcript because I'm tired and just editing this took longer than expected#Look at that sad bit at the end with him in the rain. Bruh I miss cubito Fit lore#Edit: AGH right after posting I see a few seconds I meant to trim near the start. Rats. Oh well
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☆ de fontaine
{☆} characters furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {☆} word count 1.4k
This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!
She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.
She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.
Furina is tired.
But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?
So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.
Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.
Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.
An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.
She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.
She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.
She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.
And Furina has always been good at lying.
It's the believing that's the hard part.
There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?
Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.
She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?
She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.
Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?
Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.
Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?
They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?
"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"
Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.
Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.
Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.
Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.
"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.
But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.
They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.
She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.
If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..
Furina will make sure they do.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#fic tag#furina#so um. looks around. okay look. i know im like THE ts@r1ts@ dealer (censored so it doesnt show in tags. hopefully)#but the moment i saw furi in fontaine the day it released she became my fav even more then the tsaritsa SORRY SHES SO..#this is my love letter 2 furi (making her suffer unimaginable horrors)#open ended kinda in case i decide on making a sequel maybe#furi makes me feel cuteness aggression so bad i start acting like a rabid animal#furina the woman that you are. thats my girlprince meow meow id kill someone for her#playing her part as archon so well but being so horribly irrefutably human in every way..#five hundred years not even knowing what the real plan was. when it would end. knowing if she slipped up it was over.#and in the end almost no one knew what really happened. a select few people know the real weight of her sacrifice.#furina's story was always a tragedy. it was never going to be anything but a tragedy.#and thats one of the most tragic parts of it isnt it? she didnt know how itd end. she didnt know her story was always going to be a tragedy#furina never knew a thing. and still she did it for the people of fontaine and succeeded.#how do you define “yourself” when you havent existed for 500 years?#to be so selflessly human you give up “yourself” to save people who will never know of your sacrifice.#sometimes i think about the confrontation on the stage and have a week long mental breakdown#sacrificing EVERYTHING for fontaine and still. still! the people closest to you turn on you.#heavy on clorinde. she was as close 2 furi as neuvi fight me on this. i bite.#her bodyguard and friend and she ends up staring down her blade wondering if this is it. she failed. she failed them all#because even when faced with the trial. with losing everything. she still thought only about fontaine. oh furina.#do you think she has nightmares. wonders if she was never meant to win this game of g-ds. that her story was always meant to be a tragedy?#do you think she still wonders if she was ever meant to have a chance at a happy ending? a doomed tragedy from beginning to end
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actually one more thing kristen was so clutch this ep with that mass cure wound while not a single one of the rat grinders has gotten a heal from their own team that's so dire . like you know essays can be written abt that right
#not art#fhjy spoilers#going thru the ep like aw shit fabian's down fig's down that kinda evens out the two they got at the beginning. oh wait#its so. not to sound like a pearl clutcher but Man its heartbreaking to watch that happen actually#ur ranger gets ganged upon and ur cleric is too busy banishing the fuckign ballot box to even look at her#u lot have ended up in such a not only ineffective but actively hostile formation. u dont seem to even like each others#enough to try and keep each others safe. was that even a comparison that couldve crossed oisin's mind as he went down#was that something kipperlilly thought when she saw the mass cure wound. if it were lucy here she would be healing your teammates
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me when
me hwhen the------
the brainworms-
#i was thinking about fic ideas but this would have needed too much setup#writing a fic is a commitment you gotta stick around from the beginning to the end and#drawing the thing as one picture however is#uhhh#something something i really don't know man#just inject the gravecest straight into my veins already just fuck me up thank you#art by me#gravecest#coffincest#tcoaal#the coffin of andy and leyley#technically safe for work but let's be real here#not safe for life#how's that gun taste andy#did you realize that's what she meant when she said she'd blow your brains o-#what do you mean that's even better#oh wait i forgot to tag the characters too#ashley graves#andrew graves#this image was so powerful it had to be dithered or else it would have killed everyone who looks directly at it#nsft
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Oh! Fucking. Duh. Obvious Roxie post I can make today: here's an emote I made for the sp:te server! (With variants of different degrees of completion...)
I was gonna go back and shade the comic colors Roxie but. Just ended up going w the colors picked off the screenshot. This screenshot, specifically!
#mind the quality i ripped it from Somewhere but i dont remember where#i still havent gone and continued my Unhinged Screenshot Taking yet. but oh buddy when I do....#spto#sp comic#spvtw#fanart#art#roxie richter#emotes#discord emotes#blue sparks one there was just testing where i wanted to put some before i decided Overkill was The Way#like w the other ones. please do reblog this if you decide to use them in a server somewhere! i would like to know if they end up other +#+places#ooc#spto fanart#scott pilgrim fanart#spvtw fanart#spto roxie#scott pilgrim roxie#spvtw roxie#roxanne richter#roxy richter#actually. best day for it really. if anyone has any roxie screenshots or panels they want emotes from I'd generally consider them to begin +#+with but For Sure today. (generally if anyone wants a given shot/panel as an emote im happy to at least Try. i just need specifics)#(so far kim ones are my only Successful emote attempts Without panel/shot basis. i do need to try a ramona that was requested again...)#uhhh just to be safe i guess#potential eyestrain#i did try a version w the sparks more like they are in the show but it Didn't Look Good#feel free to try your own hand at it if you want#this post is scheduled btw :3c im still trying to work on another roxie piece... panel redraw....
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hearing about how many students/peers my age actually use chatgpt is terrifying
#📜.qi texts#I was talking to a couple friends from one of my classes and we were discussing about studying for an upcoming final quiz#and one said “oh if I don't know how to get the answer for one of the questions (in the final quiz practice papers) I just chatgpt it”#and another went “oh yeah same me too!”#and I was so stunned because ?????? why ask chatgpt when looking for actual accurate information and treat it like a search engine?????????#why use chatgpt to begin with????#the day I actually use chatgpt of my own accord is the day I'm no longer me and I've lost it all#I'll end up forgetting how to write if I just rely on generating ai garbage#(I'll feel like some hound with their teeth and claws filed down something something)#+ the environmental consequences....
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so guess who just listened to ep43...
(these doodles were before the episode came out but still thoughts I'd share)
#malevolent fanart#malevolent#spoilers in the following tags#OH MY GOODNESSSS#I STILL NEED TO LISTEN TO THE SHOW FROM BEGINNING TO END BUT SHUSH#I NEEDED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT AFTER MY HUSBAND MADE ME LISTEN TO 42#GAHHH#yorick my beloved#john stans fucken won#there were 3 “love”s in that episode#so so so normal#mmmmmhgghh#clawing at the bars of the cage they put me in cause i haven't listened to malevolent from the start yet#being excited about it feels illegal#okay my husband you can wipe that smug look off your face now please#<3#evil evil man#john doe malevolent#arthur lester malevolent#kayne malevolent#private eyes#i love that shipname
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#David Tennant#Alec Hardy#Ellie Miller#Broadchurch#my gifs#Ellie just keeps sparing him any direct eye contact outside of serious work-related situations#And he only looks at her when she's looking away#The way Ellie lights up when she realizes what he's saying.#That 'mostly' from him is the kindest most genuine and delightfully playful way of expressing how much she means to him#Love how she lets him know she doesn't believe he lost his phone and therefore her number and yet doesn't give him a hard time abt it#he's too brilliant a detective not to have memorized her number or found a way to say hi#It's just that she probably thinks he didn't care enough#I think Tess gave him an ultimatum -- stop contacting his outstanding Miller if they're going to make this work or Tess won't try#How many times do you think he looked at Ellie's number when he was alone and ached to contact her in any way#Especially given how concerned he was abt her at the end of S2#But trying to fix the family came first and honestly he's a wonderful human to do that for his daughter's sake#I think he's relieved Ellie would never in her wildest dreams suspect that's why -- but he still wishes he could tell her.#Complicated doesn't begin to cover it. But he decides basking in her presence for their endless hours of work has to be enough. Oh Alec.#Aww. Look at Ellie's beaming face.#I love them so much! <3
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David Jenkins: the relationship is the show!!
The fandom: the relationship is the show!!
Me: the relationship is the show!!
Also me, whenever the relationship IS the show:
#this is the most prominent thing i felt throughout season 2!! ofmd is a love story. ed and stedes relationship is the show!!#and every time ofmd was a love story and did love story/relationship stuff i was in shock#taken back. in awe. flabbergasted even!!had to wipe my eyes and clean my ears because i couldn't believe what i was seeing/hearing!#the “your feelings for stede fucking bonnet-” at the beginning of the season did insane things to my brain!#these assholes kissed last season but i still had a Pikachu confused look everytime something romantic happened!!#i didn't get as flabbergasted towards the end of the season but it's still such a weird feeling because it's a love story..#but OH MY FUCKING GOD IT IS A LOVE STORY!!!!!!#“i love everything about you. i love being near you. it's nice. feels good. breathing the same air”#“i love you. i love you” “i know. i know that”#i love love#ofmd#ofmd s2#blackbonnet#our flag means death#ofmd spoilers#👑
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i think a lot about how early-series, demigods are referred to pretty equally as "demigods," "half-bloods," and "godlings," - the last used particularly by gods at demigods - but after that "godlings" is almost exclusively used to refer to minor gods.
something something i am literally always chewing on the concept of the line between immortals/demigods/monsters/etc being thinner than it appears
#pjo#riordanverse#we should bring this back i want more ambiguity between demigods and immortals#and where they stand between mortals and immortals#ESPECIALLY with the TOA worldbuilding of ''oh yeah inverse of immortals fading - if enough people believe hard enough it becomes true''#and people canonically leveraging that to become immortal through that means#like WHAT that is FASCINATING WORLDBUILDING#and is potentially really cool for how the gods function#but also SO MUCH EXISTENTIAL HORROR POTENTIAL ON THE DEMIGOD END#jason and percy getting idolized so much they literally start to become warped by other people's perceptions of them...#jason being accidentally immortalized because almost everyone who knows him puts him on such a pedestal#AND INVERSE TOO. demigods who are so looked down upon they LITERALLY begin to be warped into monsters#tbh we just generally need more of modern demigods being turned into monsters#like how many myths are there of mortals and heroes being turned into monsters and animals#wheres that for demigods. its gotta happen sometimes. especially since we know other curses are frequent enough#also. how much we're told the greeks interact directly with the olympians (field trips to solstice meetings etc etc)#and how willing the gods seem to be to curse demigods/mortals#heck Mr D is constantly threatening to turn people into dolphins. he's gotta have made good on that at least once
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What Deacon thinks: what did that mean? did he want me to wear a collar too? why else would he mention my neck? i mean, if he /asked/ me i would wear one but he didn't so would wearing one be weird?
What Ymber meant: It's nice to be near someone who isn't tethered to this world to serve it with a physical reminder for all to see.
#my characters#this just in ! thats why all the deities in the plot have collars and a chain !#its because THATS THEIR DESIGNATED I AM HERE TO HELP THIS WORLD SYMBOL#they cant remove their collars and thats fine by them - its a constant reminder that they exist to serve#deacon really shouldnt get as much crap as he gets in canon for being weird cause the deities are just a different brand of weird#like its not deacons fault that apparently you can say nice neck with no underlying desire#but he cant say hi would you please possess me i want to know what its like to have someone else in my body#like thats really not something you should pin on deacon YET EVERY deity is like wow what a lil weirdo#he also just really wants to please ymber so if ymber asked he would definitely do whatever#on the flip side i need to point out that deacon very specifically doesnt ask ymber for things nor does he pray for things#and it drives ymber up a wall because this is his favorite human who wont ask for anything and he isnt a psychic#he doesnt know what deacon wants or needs and its infuriating cause he exists to serve humanity#and yet this ONE GUY wont let him do things for him#this is very important and i cant believe i mentioned it like a month ago to someone and today#i received gift art of these two and i may never recover#its so perfect and its ymber just looming over deacon telling him that he can pray about anything to him#its also worth pointing out that when i was telling the person about the whole ymber begging for a prayer#its because he realizes that after all this time hes never had a single prayer from deacon - not before nor after the hire#so hes like oh well thats odd hmm#and then begins to talk to deacon like you know people pray to me for lots of things#and deacon looks at him unsure of what this is leading to - did someone offer a weird prayer? ask a weird thing? whatst?#and no - its just ymber saying that people will pray for wealth or an item#or they will express frustration if something is lost or broken despite it not being ymbers fault so deacon just stares#he has no idea what this is going to end on really so he points out 'well you do like to think you break people'#and ymber just ASDFASDFSADF STOP OK NEXT POINT people pray to me to bless relationships with happiness#and thats fascinating so deacon is like wow can you actually do that?#and ymber is so stressed as hes like i mean kinda i can simply amplify the positive emotions in gestures#like if someone gives an item out of love then its blessed#he also admits that he cant mask insincerity or malice so those feelings are not hidden nor amplified#and deacon just is impressed bc that is actually VERY cool
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i never ever cry in front of anyone ever but there was this boy i was OBSESSED with in primary school when i was like seven years old because he was the fastest boy in the class and he had cool spiky hair and i always thought it was a crush until i came out and realised it was gender envy of some form and today my friend out of the blue told me that i look like him and we looked at his instagram together and i actually do. i look almost exactly like him. and i cried like an absolute wanker because i’ve been so miserable my whole life being perceived entirely the wrong way and i went home today and looked at myself and realised i look like the boy i always wanted to be when i was a kid. and whenever i feel bad about myself i get to remind myself that i look like him so i shouldn’t feel bad because back then i couldn’t have ever dreamed of getting to look like this. and t will only make it better and even though the idea of starting it is still so scary to me i keep having moments like this that make me realise how good it’s going to be even if some of it will suck. i always focus on all of the ways my transition has gone and will go wrong and i forget that it’s going to go right in a lot of ways too
#i remember what this boy looked like when he started getting spots and what he sounded like when his voice started breaking#and it makes me so excited even for the parts of t that everyone says are ‘bad’#my identity is so much more binary than i tell myself it is. i play it down because being a fully binary Guy who wants to be purely masc is#a lot harder to break to my mother who is devastated even at the thought of me being a masculine woman#i’ve been pretending for a while that i’m more ‘in the middle’ than i really am because of that#but moments like this always remind me that i know exactly what i want to be and what i want to look like#and it’s the exact opposite of everything my mother wants me to be#this shit is going to be Hard. and i don’t expect my mother will stick around the further into my transition i get#which is so unbearable to me that i try not to think about it. i just can’t go back into the closet even for her#i was trying to force myself to do that before xmas and that’s what made me attempt and end up coming out to her#but i didn’t tell the full truth i just said i hate being feminine and i hate being a girl#i couldn’t bring myself to say the rest and i don’t know if i’ll ever say any of it to her#i wish i had a therapist so i could talk about all this as i’m working through the beginning of transition but. oh well
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