#ofc im bias im just a person

[catholic-character-tournament]

Hey OP I know there's still almost a week left, but I think an option should be that a character who gets over a certain number of votes (IDK 2000[questionmarkthattumblrwon'tletmeaddforsomereason]) but still loses can be reintroduced to the tournament elsewhere with the justification that if they got that many votes but still lost then it can be chalked up to a seeding issue because, given most of the polls being under 1000 votes total, it was probably just an issue of seeding.

Am I suggesting this for selfish reasons[questionmark] Yes, absolutely. But also there are five or six days left and I may theoretically be doing The Enemy a favor if the tides turn because [gestures at the numbers] a lot of people clearly care about this and maybe if the matchup happens AGAIN later in the tournament, we can get an even wider sample size and really duke it out

Someone should have told me X pairing was bad because they're both fan favorites, either one of them getting disqualified in round 1 is just bad for the game.... However, I am a little noodle with no backbone and am terrified of judgment and I know another tournament host deleted a poll because people were talking about wincest?? And people got mad at the host for being a bad sport and saying they manipulated the outcome because they were unhappy??? (No judgment to the host, they told the people they were uncomfortable, I wouldn't be very happy if people were talking about SA in my tags)

Proposal: How mad will you guys be if you-know-who loses this round BUT takes the slot of whoever has less number votes TOTAL. So like X character who has 1500 votes takes the spot of X character who only got 150 votes.

Pro: It's more fun. They're a fan favorite. I worry that people will turn out if such a popular character doesn't even make it to the top 32. One of the most highly submitted characters. The poll has only been live less than two days and it already has more than twice as many votes than any other poll.

Con: Against the rules and people may get mad at me.... I don't want to open the doors to do this for everyone.

Other Proposal: Every round leading up to the semi finals, a 24 hour poll of "won with the least number of votes and lost with most number of vote" and who every wins that one stays. Soccer tournament style. I think. i don't know. I don't want spots.

& Being totally totally honest, if my blorbo does get into the top 32 I dont think I'll have the motivation to run part two "whos most likely to get into heaven" because these polls are a lot of work and i need at least one blorbo to seriously root for or its not fun for me. You could call me a bad sport idc the polls take at least 5 hours to make 32 with the graphics, organize the propaganda, queue and then continue to check the reblog in case there's more propaganda.

This isn't like a threat or anything, if anyone else would like to host the "most likely to go to heaven" tournament, I'd totally welcome and support them. It just wouldn't be fun for me and I'm not going to do something that doesn't bring me joy. That being said, I will still finish this tournament no matter what.

[jacksprostate]

Treatise on why No, the doctor just giving the narrator of Fight Club (full name) his requested sleep medication or sending him to therapy would not have Fixed Him

Firstly, saying giving him the insomnia meds would’ve fixed him ignores the reason he has insomnia in the first place. He is so deeply upset by his place in society that he literally cannot sleep. Drugging him to sleep would not change that. That, of course, is the easy, quick response.

But with regard to therapy? The biggest flaw is that it ignores a central tenet of the book. Part of what tortures the narrator and drives him to invent Tyler is that his feelings about this collective, systemic issue are constantly reduced to a Just Him thing. His seatmates ask what his company is. He’s the only one upset at the office. He gets weird looks if he says the truth of what he does. People will do anything in their power to pretend he is the issue, as an individual, because it is far scarier to consider the full implications of the systemic issues implied by what he is saying. Everyone treats it as if the issue is him, so he goes insane. He does anything to get someone to say, holy shit, that’s fucked up, what you’re a part of is wrong. In an attempt to feel any sort of vague sympathy and catharsis, he goes to support groups to pretend to be dying, because then at least people don’t habitually blame him for his anguish. 

Saying therapy would fix him ignores that his problems are not individual. They are collective. It’s the reason the entire story resonates with people! Something deeply, unignorably wrong with society, where people would rather blame you for bringing it up than try and address it, because it feels impossible. I don’t blame people for this, really, because it IS scary. It’s terrifying to sit and feel like you’ve realized there’s something deeply, deeply wrong, but if you say something, people will get mad at you since it’s so baked into everything around you. Or, even if they agree, it’s easier to deal with the dissonance by pretending it’s individual.

And it’s not like that’s not the purpose therapy and medications largely serve, anyway. Getting into dangerous territory for this website, but ultimately, the reason the narrator was seeking medication was because it’s a bandaid. A very numbing bandaid. For these very large, dissonance causing problems, therapy does very little. Medications do what they always have, and distract you with numbness or side effects. It’s a false solution. He is seeking an individualized false solution because he has been browbeaten with the idea that this is an issue with him alone, when it's plainly clear it's not. 

Don't get me wrong. Obviously he has something wrong with him. But it's a product of his situation. It is a fictional exaggeration of a very real occurrence of mental illness provoked by deep unconscionable dissonance and anguish.  There is a clear correlation between what happens and his mental state and his job and how isolated he is. 

The thing is, even if he were chemically numbed, I do think he would’ve lost it regardless. Many people on meds find they don’t fix things. For reasons I’ll get into, but in this case because even if numbed or distracted, once you’ve learned about deep, far reaching corruption in society, it’s very hard to forget. Especially if, in his case, you literally serve as the acting hand of this particular variety. He’s crawling up the walls. 

So why do people say this?  Well, it's funny I guess. Maybe the first time or whatever. But also, often, they believe it, to a degree. Maybe they've just been told how effective therapy and meds are for mental illness, they believe wholeheartedly in The Disease Model of Mental Illness, maybe they themselves have engaged with either and have considered it successful. Maybe they or someone they know has been 'saved' by such treatments. 

But in all honesty.... What therapy can help with is mentality, it's how you approach problems. For issues on a smaller scale, not meaning they are easier to deal with my any degree, but ones that are not raw and direct from deep awareness of corruption; these are things that can be worked through if you get lucky and get an actually good therapist who helps build up your resiliency. But when your issue is concrete, something large and inescapable? It's useless. At best it can help you develop coping mechanisms, but there is a limit for that. There is a point where that fails. To develop the ability to handle something like this requires intense development of a comfort with ambiguity and dissonance and being isolated and a firm positioning of your purpose and values and and belief in wonder and all the other shit I ramble about. The things that the narrator lacks, which lead him to taking an ineffectual death knell anarchist self-destruction path. Therapy, where the narrator is, full of the knowledge of braces melted to seats and all the people that have to allow this to happen? It fails. 

And meds — meds are a fucking scam. We know the working mechanism of basically none of them, the serotonin receptor model was made up and paid its way into prominence. We have very little evidence they're any better than placebo, and they come with genuinely horrific side effects. Maybe you got lucky. I did, on some meds. On others? I don't remember 2018. The pharmaceutical industry is also known for rampant medical ghostwriting, and for creating 'off-label' uses for drugs that have gained too many protests in their original use, then creating a cult of use to then have 'grassroots' campaigns for it to be made a label use (ie, legitimize their ghostwritten articles with guided anecdotes). 

The DSM itself is basically a marketing segregation plot. It's an attempt to legitimize the disease model by isolating subgroups of symptoms to propose individualized treatments for subgroups that are not necessarily all that separate. But if the groups exist, you can prescribe more and different medications, no? Not to mention, if you use the disease model, you can propose that these diseases are permanent, or permanent until treated, considered more and more severe to offset and justify the horrific side effects of the medications. Do you know why male birth control doesn't really exist? Same reason. They can justify all the horrible side effects for women, because the other option is pregnancy. For men, it's nothing. 

And they're not bothering to invent new drugs without side effects. When they invent new drugs it's just because the last one got too bad of a name, or they can enter a new market. Modern drugs don't work any better than gen1 drugs. They still have horrific side effects. At best, the industry will shit out studies saying the old one was flawed (truth) so they can say this new gen will be better (lie). They're doing it with ssris right now. 

Fundamentally, the single proposed benefit of any of these drugs is that they numb you. To whatever is torturing you. It's harder to be depressed if you can't feel it, or if you just can't muster the same outrage. Of course, there is people who find that numbness to be helpful, or worth it. But often, it's stasis. For the people who have problems that can be worked on, it serves as a stopgap to not actually work on said problems. The natural outcome of the disease model is stagnation for those whose need is to develop skills and resiliency. It keeps them medicalized and dependent on the idea that they're diseased and incapable. Profitable. Stuck in the womb. 

I’ve been there. It’s easier, to wallow, and resist growth because it’s difficult and painful and unfair and cruel and you can think of five billion reasons to justify your languishing. But don’t listen to anyone who tells you you’re just permanently damaged, no matter how nicely they word it, no identity or novel pathologization, no matter how many benefits they promise, especially if they swear up and down some lovely expensive medications with little solid backing and plentiful off-label usage and side effects that’ll kill you. Some days it feels like they want us all stuck in pods, agoraphobic and addicted to the ads they feed us to isolate the markets for the drugs they’ve trained us to beg them to pump us with. Polarization making it as easy as flashing blue light for go, red like for stop, or vice versa. I worry about the kids, for fucks sake. That’s a bit dark and intense, and I apologize. But I want you (generic) to understand, there is a profit motive. Behind everything. And they do not mean well. They do not care about your mental health or your rights or your personhood or your growth. They care about how they can profit off of you.

For those struggling with immovable, society problems, like the narrator grappling with how his job fits into and is accepted by society while his rejection and horror in the face of it does not, it can work about as well as any other drug addiction. Your mileage may vary. From what I've seen, recovering from being on prozac for a long time can be worse than alcohol. They put kids on this shit. They keep campaigning for more. Off label, again. A pharmaceutical company’s favorite thing to do has to be to spread rumors of someone who knows someone who said an off label use of this drug helps with this little understood condition. Or, in the case of mental illness, questionably defined condition. And like, damn, I know I'm posting on the 'medicalization is my identity' website so no one will like all this and has probably stopped reading by now, but yall should be exposed to at least one person who doubts this stuff. Doesn't just trust it. Because I mean, that's the thing right?

It's so big. What would it mean, for this all to be true? Yeah, everyone says pharmaceutical companies are evil and predatory and ghostwriting, but to think about what that really entails. Coming back to the book, everyone knows the car lobby is huge and puts dangerous vehicles through that kill people. What does it mean if the car companies all hire people to calculate the cost of a recall and the cost of lawsuits? No one wants to think about the scale that means for people allowing it or the systems that have to be geared towards money, not safety like they say. Hell, even Chuck misses the beat and has the narrator threaten his boss with the Department of Transportation. And shit, man, if every company is doing this, you think Transportation doesn't know? That they give a fuck? You're better off mailing all the evidence to the news outlets and hoping they only character assassinate you a little bit as they release the news in a way that says it's all the fault of little workers like you, not the whole system. Something something, David McBride, any whistleblower you feel like, etc. 

So I don't blame you, if your reaction is "but but but, that can't be right, people wouldn't do it, they wouldn't allow it" or just an overwhelming feeling of dread that pushes you to deny all of this and avoid thinking about it. Just know, that's in the book. That's all the seatmates on the flights. That's all his fellow officemates. It's easier to pretend, I know.

But think about, how the response fits in with the themes of the book. The story, as a movie too. What drives the narrator’s mental breakdown? How would you handle being in his position? How would you handle being his seatmate? It’s easy to say you’d listen. But have you? Have you had any soul wrenching betrayals of how you thought society worked? How about a betrayal by the thing that promised to be the fix of the first? Can you honestly say you wouldn’t follow that gut instinct, saying follow what everyone says, that person must just be crazy, evil, rude, cruel, whatever it is that means you can set what they said aside?

For a lot of people, they can do that, I guess. Set it aside. Reaching that aforementioned state of managing to cope with the dissonance and ambiguity and despair is very hard. The narrator made the Big Realization, but he couldn’t cope. He self-destructed. Even when people don’t make the big realization consciously, they’re already self-destructing. It’s hard to escape it when it feels easier than continuing anyway. When it feels like the only option,

Would therapy fix the narrator of Fight Club? Would meds fix the narrator of Fight Club? No. He knows too much. All meds will do, by the time he’s in the psych ward, is spiritually neuter him. A silly phrase, but really. Take the wind out of his sails. 

Is he fixed if he doesn’t try to blow up town? If he just shuts up and settles in and stops costing money? If he still can’t cope with the things he’s unearthed? Do you see how this is a commentary in a commentary in a commentary?

Fight Club is an absolutely fascinating story because of this. The fact that it addresses the fallout of knowing. The isolation. The hopelessness. The spiral that results from a lack of hope. This is, I think, what resonates most with people, even if not consciously. Going insane because you’ve discovered something you wish you could unknow. It’s a classic horror story. Should our society be lovecraftian evil? I don’t think so. 

Do I think changing it will be easy? No. Lord knows a lot exists to push people who make these sorts of Realizations towards feelings of individuality and individualized solutions and denial and other distractions and coping methods. And to prevent people who make One realization from expanding on it and considering further ramifications. Fight Club itself gets into this; the isolation of men being a strict part of the role society shapes for their sex leaves them very vulnerable to death fetishes, in a sense, and generally towards self destructive violence. It helps funnel them away from substantial change and towards ineffectual change. Many things, misogyny, racism, serve to keep people isolated from one another, individualized, angry, and impossible to work with. Market segregation; god knows even appealing on those fronts has become such a classic ploy that companies do it now, the US military frames its plundering that way, etc. 

I’ve wandered a bit but ultimately, my point is this: Fight Club is a love letter to the horrors of critical thinking, and the importance of not falling into the trap of self destruction and hopelessness in the face of it. The latter is why Tyler was an anarchoterrorist instead of anything useful. The latter is why it was a death cult. It’s important to work through the horrors of critical thinking so you can do it, and stand on the other side ready to believe in each other. It’s worth it.

[killjoy-prince]

That scientist should not be 18 years old are you kidding me???

[windtorn]

what color character are you?

Green characters are often hotheaded and brash, unafraid to speak their mind. They make for excellent leaders and teachers, and tend to be most devoted to a specific field, which they do well in. They have a lot of confidence in themselves, and although they can’t always see themselves positively, they are good about respecting themselves. They have a lot of common sense but are equally likely to strategically plan something out as to rush in on an impulse. They often have to work hard to get others to respect them, and sometimes receive less of it when people find out who they are. Still, they are not afraid to make others uncomfortable by being themselves, and are unlikely to waver when someone wants them to change against their will. They can be brash and loud, but also very quiet and secretive. Their humor can be a bit rude, and they don’t always display friendship and affection to the people they care aboutt in the most conventional ways. However, they’re quite easygoing, witty, and fun-loving people. They don’t like when people are flighty and prefer to work with people who don’t quit and stand their ground. They stand out from others, both because of the way they approach the world, and because of how skilled they tend to be at what they do. Some people may not suspect that they are harmonious because of their blunt nature, but they are surprisingly good and reasonable diplomats, and can employ a lot of meaningful tact when the situation calls for it. They may feel a sense of distance or abandonment from their parental figures, as they often became emotionally or physically absent sometime in their life. Green characters hate being told what to do and put into a box, and are likely to challenge authority. They can be hard to work with at times due to their stubbornness, but they bring a lot to the table and tend to round out their friend groups. They need people in their lives who respect them, care about them, and listen to them, as well as offer them companionship without requiring them to conform to a certain preset standard.

tagged by: @zajevre (( thank you for this!! )) tagging: @forbelobog @starblazes @astralcook @hxkerwxlf @zorkaya @rockstarfighter @rosahope @wolfkcst @dauntingsmite @astrcls (dan heng) @screenviolense (tingyun) @wildfiremedic

[llycaons]

'wwx didn't know he liked men before dying' he almost started crying when lwj tore up his gay porn, which he referred to as a 'precious treasure' and then later his buddy promised to get him more of the same. I think he was aware

[scrumptiousstuffs]

yknow what i want for fk? more shows. PUT THEM IN INSANE HET SHOWS I BEG 😭 no more one bl a year i need them in a show in every part gmmtv announces shows in. i would literally pay for home school 2 for insane khao. i would pay gmmtv for insane first in a show. LET THEM PLAY INSANE CHARACTERS. FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH.

gmmtv's het shows are so underrated because those things are way more unabashedly queer even compared to a lot of bl's they produce <- preaching like im from the missionary of 'gmmtv het show are gay af' alliance

(i just love the het shows and will take any moment to talk about it. like yea ofc theres stupid ones but some of them are just so fucking good and made with so much love and passion and its so visible and it makes me so soft 🥺)

- burnsuncomet (they should really let me ask stuff from my sideblog smh 😔)

Go on. Tell me more about what het shows you like from GMMTV (and why you like them). And tell me what ideas do you want for your het shows for FK?

I personally enjoyed Home School (so I am definitely on board with Khaotung versus Gun for season 2!) , Midnight Museum, Enigma (for a horror show, this pack a lot more than just good special effects) and the currently airing Peaceful Property (which we are still debating whether it’s BL or not 😂).

And I cannot stress enough how much 55:15 Never Too Late is such an underrated gem (yes it has a side BL featuring our own Khaotung who nailed his role as SongPol/Paul) but my other fav storyline in that show was View’s character and the friendship between Paul and Piploy’s character.

I didn’t mind Summer nights but I got terribly bored by Phuwin (and whoever his love interest was) - and really just perked up when Dunk’s character White and Lookjun interacted.

And if you are asking me what het shows I’m looking forward from GMMTV - Hide & Sis (it has Jan, Piploy and Lookjun plus Chimon playing a sleaze ball? - sign me up!)

But I’m digressing - we are talking about FK hehe. I admit I was disappointed when they only have one project for 2024, which has yet to air 🥲 (especially after getting spoilt with 3 shows from them in 2023 😩).

I think FK is under utilised by GMMTV (but then again, don’t we all say the same when talking about our own bias CPs?) - I want them to be in reality show, talk shows, V-log ANYTHING really beyond just one BL cause they have so much potential (we are definitely in agreement with this. Although it’s of course not feasible to have everything for the boys cause they will burnout otherwise 🙂‍↕️). But we can all dream yeah?

Anyway, I thought this user from Twitter has the cutest idea ever for their YT content 👇🏽 (credit on the screenshot)

(Or I take the boys going camping together with us watching them cook and playing guitar and toasting marshmallows by the campsite)

In my alternate reality where FK gets to act more than one BL per year, these are my pick for hetero show/concept with FK in it:

The currently aired “The Judge from Hell”, k-drama starring Park Shin Hye and Kim Jae Young. I want a Thai remake - with Piploy as the devil in the judge’s body (she plays beautiful evil/anti-hero well! - her performance in Enigma was a good example of this) and First as our dutiful cop who joined force (literally selling his soul) to the devil after his mother figure got killed by a serial killer who also killed his birth parents. We know First can play tortured and devastation well, but truly seeing him fight to keep his morality? - 🤌 (also First already looks like a Korean movie star, so he will fit in well! Plus not going to lie - a tall First having to lean down on tiny Piploy while they bicker and fall in love 🤭 (these 2 have quite the chemistry in The Shipper)

As for Khaotung (we already mentioned Home School), but if I want to see him in a hetero couple - it will be with Ciize. These 2 were wholesome together in Tonhon Chonlatee (the show has flaws, but I still enjoyed it and Khaotung/Ciize being besties in that show was one of the highlights for me!)

And again, I’m borrowing this from one of my favourite k-drama, Happiness (2021) featuring Park Hyung-Sik and Han Hyo-Joo. Beyond just a zombie flick, it’s a commentary on social class but also the desperation and the length people go to when trapped with no where to go. Also, I won’t lie, I just want to see Khaotung (now that he is so buff!) and Ciize (despite her tiny frame) being badass with guns- it also has a sweet romance line between the main characters 😂

And bonus - if I can make my own FK-centric drama:

I want them to play cross-lovers in the past but one of them was a woman.

They both reincarnated - the woman’s soul now in one of the boys (I haven’t quite figure out who I want to play this role between them 🤣). This soul remembers his previous life and lover but avoids trying to look for him (cause you know, she is now a he and thought his previous lover is straight)

While the other person - knows he is missing someone, he has a deep yearning for this one person. However, he can’t remember the face or really anything beyond vague flashbacks except he knows it is a she. So he keeps looking at girls of course not finding the one. Meanwhile, fate (of course) made them meet and they keep avoiding trying to not fall in love but fail 🤷🏽‍♀️. I have even thought of what jobs these boys could have, the side characters 🤣…but alas, this will stay in delulu land (and yes, if you think the plot sounds vaguely familiar, it likely is! Cause I just pick all the plots/tropes I like and meshed it up!)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for yelling at my friend?

this ones a long one.

bg info

so we're both 15, and he's done this thing a couple times where he'll create a new groupchat and exclude certain people who he's not as close to.

to me, this is mean, and i've spoken to him calmly about it before but he kinda just brushes it off and says he's just including close friends.

its also relevant that previously i may have enabled him. like, theres a girl neither of us like and we'd make fun of her sometimes, though not to her face, which is probably worse. i'm trying to be nicer to her but i dont get along with her very well.

on top of that, the origin of the gc we use now is that there was a bigger one and he told me "i just don't feel comfortable with some of these people". so i created a new group chat and let him pick who got added, with the agreement that we'd have to come to an agreement before adding more ppl, just for the sake of everyones comfort.

not sure if this is actually relevant or if im just salty but he doesn't spend time with the people in the gc at school, he sits with a group of juniors n seniors for lunchtimes and only comes around every so often. not sure if he's just spending one-on-one time with everyone or if he's actually not hanging out with us anymore.

into the actual inciting incident

today, we were talking about the groupchat to a friend we'd made recently and added today. he offhandedly mentioned one of the smaller groupchats he'd made for closer friends, and how no one had used it. i got really mad about how casual he was about something i thought was mean of him to do, so i told him something like "i just think that it's a rude thing to do."

and he said something like "well im just including our close friends", we kept going like this for a bit, and I yelled at him "why are the only people that matter the ones YOU like?" and there was more of a kerfuffle i don't remember, but i did in fact cry (self-provoked, he didnt say anything). i apologized for being so dramatic, and he left. it was class time so i left too, and my sister drives me and she had work so i left school really fast.

we have a little routine where we watch a show together on call though and he said yes when i asked about that. after asking him abt our show, i texted him n apologized for yelling at him n asked to talk but i said that i still thought that the way he treats people kinda sucks. no response.

what people irl said

like one person said that i was brave? and that they shoulve said something. the girl we added didnt say anything, and my other friend asked if i was okay after it was all over

why i might be an asshole

i think im being kinda on a moral high-horse when ive enabled and even kinda participated in this behavior before and ofc, yelling was very much an overreaction on my part

additionally, its not exactly a choice to not get along with some people?

why he might be an asshole

excluding people on purpose and ignoring my attempts to talk things out.

with the bias filter on, this behavior is pretty self-centered, because he doesn't hang out with us much at all, and he's never very invested in any of our interests or issues, but he still gets to dictate who gets to be in the "close friends" group chat?

for any advice

i really don't want to drop him as a friend, not just because i like spending time with him, which is most of it. the other part of it is that im really scared of what will happen if he gets mad at me, because i don't want to break up the friendgroup into people taking sides, and to a lesser extent im scared that if that does happen no one will take my side in that conflict. it just doesn't seem worth it to get into a blowout with him about this when i don't want to lose anyone.

thanks for reading all that, this is mostly just to organize my thoughts. render moral judgement at will.

What are these acronyms?

[dollfacedb1tch]

I just wanted to take a moment to express how much I admire you. No matter how unfairly or harshly the world may treat you, my admiration for your strength and resilience will never fade. It amazes me how you continue to hold your head high, even when faced with difficulties that would break most people. Your courage and grace inspire me every day

You are a reminder that strength comes in many forms, and even in the face of pain or criticism, you remain true to yourself. I have endless respect for the way you keep moving forward, and I want you to know that your strength doesn’t go unnoticed. No matter what, I will always admire you ♡

(for some reason you give that yujin energy, you have her same vibes istg, shall we be annyeongz ?)

bro i'm literally gonna cry, i've read this more than three times and i think i'll continue reading it a few more times to truly comprehend and understand how beautiful this actually is. are you an angel on earth? your words are so comforting, it's like listening to my favourite podcast except i'm reading it which just makes it sm better. i'm convinced tumblr's "ask" option might be my favourite feature now simply because of this ask alone. you're a beautiful, beautiful person darling, rarest of the rare and one of the kindest kind 🫶🏼🌸🏼

AND ONG NO WAY YIU CALLED ME YUJIN, SHE'S LIT MY IVE BIAS EXCUSE ME WTF WTFFFFF STOP STOP ❓❓❓❓ AND OFC WE'RE ANNYEONGZ NOW AWW😭😭

all the love and hugs and kisses from my side to you, because you deserve every single bit and so so much more :( <3

(i promise im lit NOT in tears, i swear)

[trickstarbrave]

im interested in learning more about nerevar but im having a hard time understanding, like, anything. if i wanted to get a feel for who he was and what he did outside of the main story questline of morrowind, where do i start? the tumblr nerevar scholars are always citing the most obscure lore and im like "WHERE is that FROM." i wanna be able to do that some day. Help !

First and foremost I must give a disclaimer: Morrowind lore is like IRL history. It’s super messy, and people have personal and sociopolitical motivations to lie about him. He was a prominent historical figure and hero that has been used to prop up the tribunal temple, so people have a lot of reasons to lie, as well as the fact he’s been sort of mythologized. So we don’t know for certain much about him. We have a lot of theories and a lot of things seemingly verified by multiple sources, but there is no 100% concrete account of his life and what he did. All sources will be biased, and we only have second hand accounts by people with a vested interest in lying at best, with all other accounts being the result of oral tradition going back 3000+ years.

(Also there might have been multiple timelines/realities. Which complicates things. Tl;dr the tribunal becoming gods might have resulted in them remaking reality so events would be different between those timelines)

If you haven’t read the books you collect during the main story that cover Nerevar, you really should! They provide a lot of information

This one isn’t part of the MSQ I believe but it’s pretty good

Another source that exists as in game lore is the songs of Wulfharth. There’s some ‘secret’ songs that are lesser known but describe an account of the battle of red mountain that is quite different. In this account, the Nords were invited by house Dagoth and the Tribubal potentially, but there appears to be a split in the Dwemer forces; some (led by Dumac, the king) were fighting alongside Nerevar, and the others fighting with Kagrenac. This is a bit more mythological/metaphorical of a text though, given Lorkhan has physically manifested and calls Nerevar the son of Boethiah. I believe Lorkhan is sort of possessing Numidium, and while the Nords see the Numidium as Shor/Lorkhan, the chimer and Dwemer probably just saw it as the Numidium. But YMMV. It’s a very different perspective on the battle though, but some details are oddly consistent with other accounts, and would lack the more typical dunmeri bias (but ofc the Nords are also biased. So. Keep that in mind)

Another source is the, AND I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, nonliteral 36 lessons of Vivec, which do give us more insight into Nerevar. These events may not have all happened, but it’s highly likely some are accurate. For example: Vivec describes that Nerevar was originally a merchant caravan guard, who went on to kill the merchant in charge of it, taking ownership himself, before going on to join house Indoril and rose through the ranks. Also, both the 36 lessons and the songs of Wulfharth describe Nerevar as having keening at the battle of red mountain.

I’ll link the new whirling school website to help you get through it as well if you’re struggling to understand what the fuck

Another little source is varieties of faith. It describes that Nerevar is said to have ripped out Dumac’s heart and eaten it. Is this true? Possibly not. Do I want it to be true bc it’s hot? Oh yeah

Out of lore source I like as well was a piece written by Michael Kirkbride. This is technically non-canon/extra canon, and you do not have to take it as canon, nor anything kirkbride has written that isn’t in game. He just wrote a bunch of the Morrowind lore and vivec is his oc. It’s called “what my beloved taught me” (Nerevar would be the one asking the questions)

I thinkkkkkk that’s about it. You can also just check out Nerevar’s page on the UESP. I might have missed smth.

Most of the rest of it is insane Nerevar scholars like me making insane theories based on what’s read in the texts.

[certifiedgoofball]

so i finally watched the devil's chord and i. AUGH!!!! UEUHGH!!!!!!! i watched space babies a couple days ago and it was good ofc but i felt like it was missing something but devil's chord was literally fucking PERFECT. it was scary and emotional and silly and weird all at the same time and i almost cried and i got so many goosebumps and i just AAHH!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE EP UNDER THE CUT. GIANT RANT. I AM AUTISM.

i already have a giant bias towards the episode cuz one of my longest interests has been music and instruments but oh my fucking GOD the way they talked about music and hearing classical songs that i knew almost sent me to tears IM NOT JOKING. ruby playing the piano was so awesome and hearing saint saen's danse macabre made me feel like i was going to ascend into the heavens. putting doctor who and classical music, two of my biggest interests, together, was the best thing imaginable. I LITERALLY CANT DESCRIBE HOW HAPPY THIS EPISODE MAKES ME.

SECONDLY, I LOVED MAESTRO. like the toymaker (who i also adore so SO incredibly much), they have this silly evilness to them that makes them so INTERESTING!!! and then finding out maestro is the child of the toymaker was EVERYTHING. BECAUSE IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. jinkx monsoon, the person that plays maestro, says some stuff about them that explains why i love them so much. "When human rules don't apply to you, you get to do whatever you want. You don't have to worry about whether your emotions make sense to people because you don't have to answer to them." and "What I love about Maestro is that, while objectively evil, they are an artist, they have a mission statement. " THESE ARE THE EXACT REASONS I LOVE THE TOYMAKER AND MAESTRO SO MUCH. both of them are other-worldly beings. they're gods of their own realms. they're dramatic and passionate and so dead-set on getting what they want. but its not just about getting what they want, its about having fun with it and turning it into a show. because what's the point in going out if you cant go out with a BANG?

something else i loved was the doctor in this episode. ncuti gatwa's doctor, like david tennant's, is so extremely emotional and passionate and it makes me want to SOB. the doctor mentioning his granddaughter? TEARS IN MY EYES. "i can only smile like this because ive lost so much" SOBBING ON THE FLOOR. the 15th doctor has already been so emotional and i know im gonna cry so so much while he's around. BUT THATS SOMETHING I LOVE ABOUT DOCTOR WHO. because it can be so silly and weird and funny and then it can turn around and be spine-chilling and emotional ALL IN THE SAME EPISODE. because when you think about it, the story of the doctor is HEARTBREAKING. and when that side of him comes out you HAVE to expect the waterworks.

AND THEN RUBY THE ENTIRE EPISODE ???? i know theres something up with her and i just OH MY GOD!!! BECAUSE THE SNOW??? THIS EPISODE AND LAST EPISODE? AND THE SOUND OF CHRISTMAS?????? im gnawing on the bars of my enclosure I NEED TO KNOW. shes so interesting I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT because its like who's her mom?? whys she able to do the snow thing?? how did she have a song in her ????? AND MAESTRO SAYING THINGS LIKE "no he couldnt be there" "the old one couldn't've been there" WHO IS THAT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN.

IM GOING INSANE. IM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT I COULD EXPLODE INTO A MILLION PIECES.

[atticsandwich]

sorry but if ur entire reasoning on disliking mephisto banks entirely on u jumping to conclusions about his character without even giving him a fraction of a leeway that you do with the rest of the cast so u resort to calling him "shallow and abrasive" im just gonna assume you have some racial bias going on in ur head

look at it this way: how come when mephisto does something even slightly rude or mean towards mc (or any of the brothers) (which he doesnt even do often btw. it's ESPECIALLY LESS in nb besides lucifer) he's immediately irredeemable, unjustified for his actions, etc but whenever, let's say, lucifer (using him bc he's one of my favorite characters so yall can't put shit in my mouth where there is none) does something questionable in the same vein ya'll immediately jump to his defense or bring up personal character anecdotes? like don't piss me off??

it's so easy to figure out why mephisto is the way he is and why his courses of action lean the direction they do because the game quite literally shoves all of it in your face. some of ya'll just don't bother to read between the lines the same way yall do for the other characters because of ... reasons, whatever they may be, but then immediately interject on conversations that involve him only to say "oh i fucking hate him i wish he never existed" gee i wonder why you think that...

anyways, i digress. ofc i'm not saying you can't dislike a character (hello i literally felt nothing for solomon the first 6 months of me playing obey me until i gradually started to like him) but when ur dislike can be traced back to racial bias whether consciously or not... i would personally never open my mouth on the internet, that's all I'll say

[dearweirdme]

I have been a tkkr almost as long as i have been an army since like 2016. im jk biased and tae has always been my bias wrecker. i have consumed taekook fan content such as reading aus and fanfics, etc. but i wouldn't say i am a believer (?). i am simply a shipper i guess? i just cannot bring myself to believe they are actually dating (nor do i believe that they are dating other members for that matter).

BUT i want to believe so help me with this

recently i fell down the taekook tumblr rabbit hole and i am very intrigued. you said in one of your last posts on how to distinguish a couple without them kissing or obvious physical affection and you answered it perfectly no doubt, the actions of a couple are very different from a pair of friends.

but what actions do you see tkk doing specifically that the other pairs are not doing??? you said they don't have any physical boundaries with each other but other pairs do. but sometimes i can see other pairs also not having a definite moment for their boundaries. i for the life of me cannot see the difference.

as a jk biased person it is very obvious to me he has a different wavelength with all the members and he is closer to some than others. so are the other members. i am not doubting that they could be queer or anything but i just cant see jk and tae dating each other. ofc it is very obvious that they are close friends who clearly love each other but i cant see anything more than that

so help me with this, tell me where can i start? like suggest me specific content to go back and watch? cuz i have pretty much seen everything maybe this time ill watch with a different lense

Hi anon!

Well… this is quite different from people usually telling me to stop Tkking 😂. To start off, it’s not necessary to believe in them. If you’re fine just enjoying their friendship, than that’s totally fine. And also.. if you haven’t seen what I see by now while you have already watched Tkk extensively, I’m not sure what I can say to enlighten you more.

I agree that there are moments when other pairings are also extremely physically intimate. To me those moments are more like a temporary extension of physical boundaries, because it suits the occasion. For instance, while engaging in banter two people might touch each other differently in places they might otherwise not do so freely. Or when comforting someone, those boundaries are also temporarily widened, because comforting someone might call for a more physical approach. That is what I see a lot between other members.. it has to do with the context of the moment a lot. Whereas between Tae and Jk I feel there’s more of a continuation of extended physical boundaries and their actions don’t rely on context much. They just touch freely.

It is hard to talk about signs of them being a couple, because we only/mostly see them in ways that have nothing to do with their private lives. We don’t see couply moments of any member. What I do feel we have seen are moments in which they seem in love.

Tae kissing Jk’s neck is a strong one for me. Jk’s reaction to it is also telling I feel.

The way Tae looked at Jk during the vminhopekook live is telling to me.

I think the vminkook live is also real showing of the attraction between them.

When we look at things that happened more recently, I feel them wearing the same shirt on the same day is a thing couples would definitely do, but best friends maybe not so much.

For me the lives Tae did where he was listening to the song Jk songs for him (missing Jk) and the two after, also very much speak of them being a couple to me, because when you look at those combined and place them in context you get Tae missing Jk very much while he was away, Jk going (almost) straight to Tae when he arrived back home, and them sharing a bed later at night. It just makes so much sense to me.

It will always be subjective. It’s not possible to speak of hard evidence. But when I look at the whole of it, I just see a clear story that makes sense to me.

[liauditore]

cleo/martyn for shipping bingo?

original

when i say criminally underrated i mean CRIMINALLY underrated ok. unhinged rambling under the cut

like every fictional character and real person in the world is marina and the diamonds oh no coded but these two are literally this song so much im gonna throw up

One track mind, one track heart If I fail, I'll fall apart Maybe it is all a test 'Cause, I feel like I'm the worst So I always act like I'm the best

they mirror each other so perfectly. they're both deeply insecure people who desperately want to be strong for themselves and those around them, but they dig their own graves doing that by refusing to be vulnerable and only pushing people close to them away.

in my mind they both see the worst parts of themselves in the other person because they're so similar internally, despite having wildly different personalities.

I know exactly what I want and who I want to be I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy Oh! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no, oh!

they both have an ego and a malice that gets them antagonized by the rest of the server which is 100% their fault, and they both pretend they don't care when really both of them yearn for someone, Anyone to see how much they're hurting (but they'd never admit to it).

You type out your bias on me it’s all nitpicks and paying no mind to be so sadistic They pin on the thorns make her maleficent In bloom the rose made a perfect fit He drowns out the crowd that throws a burdened fit They blow up the sound regardless to admit They’re stabbing a knife and quote without a wit “Bet it’s no strife, no it’s just the tip”

(^telecaster b-boy lyrics cus that song changed my life but also it reminds me of them)

Just.. that one clip of Cleo admitting she's a rubbish fighter and saying that she would only drag Martyn down to which Martyn immediately responds that he doesn't care and thinks she's great company. Or any number of the times Martyn offers some dumb surface-level act of servitude towards Cleo because he doesn't know how to just be vulnerable and admit he wants some form of acknowledgement.

They keep testing the waters with eachother but one always backs out when it starts getting too real. They both just want love but their egos won't let them admit it.

Cleo has this magical ability to divorce men she's never dated and I love her for it.

OFC all this aside they're also just both so losercore and dumb and divorced and martyn being The Most Pathetic Man Ever with trying to court cleo is hilarious to watch and also bdubs ships them and I agree with everything bdubs says.

also uh i think ren should join them in the middle idk

[multifandombullshitbabes]

Considering the SiD fandom is fucking dead. I can do whatever

So Walter x Killian hcs BITCHES. n also before anyone comes tell me that's problematic or whatever 1) i hate antis so just block me thx <3 2) Walter is literally 20-24 years in the movie, most likely 24 years old actually. Go to his wikia page n then to the comments for a pretty good theory/explanation on that. They said they'd put that age range on his profile but it just says 20 yrs old, which just seems false after all the proof from that commenter so. Yh. Fuck u <3

Now, first things first, yall know Walter upgraded the FUCK out of Killians body mods. Like he went "that looks cool! But i can make it better :) just saying :)"; now killian has better, comfier, smoother tech, like an actual robot hand instead of a claw; his eye was already pretty nice, Walter just helped make it more natural looking in case of malfunction, n avoid any pain n shit like that

Walter has Killian wrapped around his lil finger its insane. Anyone with any prior context of everything between them just doesnt know how to act. Walter wants a water? Ok but does he want it flavoured? Iced? Natural? Walter looks at Killian with those big blue eyes and suddenly he just has to touch him in any way.

Walter is definitely the chill half of this couple. Walters the anchor. And im not saying chill like in general, Walter is still is cute energetic self, what i mean is only one of them will become a flustered mess after their first kiss and think abt it forever all the time, especially at night while he watches the other sleep and pets his hair and is overwhelmed by the amount of Feelings he has for the other (killian is so emotionally repressed but then walter is the way he is n he just naturally forces killian not to be that way by just fucking breathing, n its very disorienting for Killian)

Killians not affected by sleep hours all that much, he goes to sleep whenever n then wakes up whenever n he'll be fine. Walter, however, is not a morning person. Can u imagine walter grumpy? Well, killian has now experienced it many times. Its actually how he first realized his feelings for walter. Its stupid endearing (he'd never admit this tho ofc)

Killian bites as a love language. Theyre very soft (sometimes >:)) n walter always turns beet red when he does them

Its hard for both of them to say i love u, but for different reasons. Killian, for ur regular degular emotional repression. Walter, because he never had meaningful emotional n intimate relationships to warrant saying that except for his mom, so saying it gives him anxiety like no other. So, they do that thing where u tap someone 3 times as "i love you" n then the other taps back 4 times "i love you too"

Killian never had the habit for listening to music. Walter introduced him to kpop n it all went downhill from there (his main group is dreamcatcher, because he has taste. His bias is dami)

Walter needs glasses but always forgets them. Killian is now used to carrying around two pairs of glasses: one for himself, n a duplicate of Walters glasses

I could make so many more of these bit its 4am where i am rn so i will go to sleep. If there's any mistakes yknow why that is

[dustofthedailylife]

its me fluttering in w my husband material and their reasons

I mean, obviously theres Zhongli, he's handsome, smart, attentive. Sure he forgets his wallet sometimes but I feel like as your husband if that's something that does happen, you either end up like me, constantly reminding my boyfriend 'wallet, keys, phone, shiv, all your bones and a will to live' before we leave the house...or he just pays you back when you get home.

Thoma ofc, like if ever you had to point out one genshin man that falls under the title of 'malewife' its thoma, bless him.

Diluc would make an awesome husband too, now that he's kinda calmed down w the whole murder-spree thing...and teasing him by calling him the dork-knight hero is just *chefs kiss*

and because im a little degenerate Capitano is 10/10 excellent husband materian. Loyal n big n strong w hands made for grabbing. plus he looks like a walking furnace gr8 for keeping warm in the frozen wastes of Sneznhaya ;)

Hehehe! I love it!

Zhongli is definitely husband material! He'd pamper you to the best of his abilities, reading every wish off your lips. You probably wouldn't even need to voice it in the first place. He can be a little forgetful or appear a little "stupid" here and there with some things (he's a boomer, forgive him) but that's what he has you for.

Zhongli, 10/10 (and I don't say that only but also partly because of my personal bias)

Thoma is indeed the very definition of malewife. Is handsome, extremely nice and supportive, cooks, cleans, does the laundry and feeds the kids (doesn't matter if they're human or animal in this case) before you even stand up in the morning and would probably have a 5 course meal prepared for you by that time as well. Bless him indeed!

I see Diluc in this category as well tbh! He is kinda the middle ground between Zhongli and Thoma I feel. He is attentive, supportive, and head over heels for you - he'd definitely drop everything for you if you asked him to. And definitely, now that he's calmed down (a bit...) he's a big old softie behind closed doors!

As for Capitano, I honestly don't know much about him but big and strong is something I can see. Big bear who you're able to hug = warm. *nod nod* makes sense!

→ [Husband Material Headcanons]

[simpjaes]

a foursome wip with guy on guy and ofc guy on girl?? u answered my prayers.

also a hoon bias (with jay as my bias wrecker im so sorry pookie) the new fic u just posted literally sent me into orbit.

ik u didnt write it for me lol but im in my head like yeah this was for MEEEE /j

i just really like ur writing style and how you made hoonie such a sweetheart in the fic. how gentle and caring he was with yn and even jay as well. it was really refreshing from all the fics where hoon is such a degrading hard ass (not that i dont love that but still)

oomf gave me the idea tbh, but i haven't been able to stop thinking about it basically so......yeah. you and jake in said wip are gonna be in it together, i can tell you that much. ANYWAY

,SDHFKSD the new revamp was for meeeeeeeee and meeeeeeee only bc who tf else gonna write for jay like that???? ME! ;o; no but fr, thank you for reading and enjoying it! I'll allow u to claim it's for u too as long as you stop looking at jay forever now <3

thank u for liking my writing style 🖤 im a huge fan of comfort smut and uh *cringes* love making. like that fic is nothing but reader getting fucking spoiled by two hotties who don't compete and even kinda...yknow...are into each other a teensy bit too.

i do love a degrading/rough sunghoon ngl, but he really fits the part of a lot of roles you put him in. me, personally? I like him as the heart broken neighbor who is afraid to fuck jay's wife even tho jay is like "pls fuck my wife"