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antiadvil · 5 years ago

Text

i AIM 2 b w/ u

summary: Dan’s life is a little bit of a mess. He met his only friend through a chat website, and Dan doesn’t even know what he looks like. The only person he’s ever come out to is said friend. He’s wasting his gap year away.

But hey, at least there’s that cute boy he met at London Pride.

rating: PG13

wc: 4k

notes: for the @phandomreversebang! lovely art created by @anironsidh and betaing provided by @quackitity (also stay tuned for @judearaya‘s version which i betaed and is very good)

read on ao3 or under the cut

Dan glanced at the time. He had a few minutes to kill before he had to catch his train to London Pride, he decided, so he logged into his laptop and opened AIM.

His heart skipped a beat. His best (and only, if he was being honest) friend was online. He sent him a message.

danisnotonfire: hey

amazingphil: hi!!!

He and Amazingphil had met in a chat room about five months ago. They bonded a bit over their sexualities, and then Dan sent him a PM about Muse, and then here they were, still messaging almost every day since.

amazingphil: what r u doing?

danisnotonfire: im never doing anything

amazingphil: lol

amazingphil: yes u r >.<

amazingphil: guess what im doing

danisnotonfire: what

amazingphil: guess >:(

danisnotonfire: no >:)

amazingphil: pls

danisnotonfire: hmm

danisnotonfire: maybe

amazingphil: hurry up

danisnotonfire: wait im thinking of a good one

danisnotonfire: ok

danisnotonfire: ur running away from the police bc u stole the crown jewels

amazingphil: no u spork

amazingphil: im picking out an outfit

danisnotonfire: an outfit? :0

danisnotonfire: u wear clothes?

amazingphil: i hate u

amazingphil: i have Plans today

Dan glanced at the clock. He had to leave soon for his own plans, but he still felt a tiny bit jealous.

danisnotonfire: you have Plans?

amazingphil: yes

amazingphil: what r u doing?

Dan checked the time again. He frowned. He had to leave now if he wanted to make his train.

danisnotonfire: getting ready to take a train

danisnotonfire: g2g actually sry

danisnotonfire: c u?

He didn’t wait to see amazingphil’s response before he closed his laptop and bolted for the door.

The train ride to London was nerve wracking but uneventful. Dan had never travelled so far on his own before, and his mother’s warnings rang in his head. As tempted as he was to pull out his phone and pretend to be busy, he kept himself alert, his phone safely stowed in his pocket and his backpack clutched in his lap.

His mother didn’t know where he was going. No one knew where he was going. It was a little bit scary, but also exhilarating. He could do anything; he could be anyone, as long as he was on the 8pm train home.

When his train pulled into the station, it was easy to follow the crowd of people in rainbow apparel to the parade site. Dan’s train had arrived a tiny bit late, and it looked like the parade had already started.

The street was crowded, but Dan wriggled and elbowed his way to the front of the crowd, where he had a decent view of his first ever Pride parade. He found himself sandwiched between two girls holding hands and a dark haired boy who looked about Dan’s age.

“Hey,” Dan found himself shouting to the boy next to him.

The boy glanced over, flicking dark hair out of his eyes. “Hey,” he shouted back. “What brings you here?”

“I’m gay,” Dan shouted. He laughed. It was so exhilarating to say out loud that he said it again. “I’m gay!”

The boy laughed. “Me too,” he said. “What a coincidence.”

“What’s your name?” Dan asked.

“Phil,” the boy replied. “You?”

“Dan,” he said back.

“Well, Dan, is this your first pride?”

Dan nodded. “What about you?”

Phil shook his head. “This is my third.”

“Wow,” Dan said.

Phil laughed. “It’s not that many. I’m sure there are some people here who have been to every single one.” He nodded toward a group of older men riding on a passing float.

Dan tried to wrap his mind around the fact that there had been fewer than forty London Prides. That everything around him was new and fragile and still in its infancy. “That’s crazy,” he said. “That that’s even possible, I mean.”

Phil nodded emphatically. “I know, right? If I had been born just fifty years earlier…” He shuddered.

“It’s not like it’s that great to be gay right now either,” Dan admitted.

“No,” Phil admitted. He looked down.

They were silent for a few moments.

“Sorry,” Dan said, clearing his throat. “I kinda killed the mood there, didn’t I?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Phil said. He shifted uncomfortably, fiddling with the plastic rainbow flag in his hands. “Does your family know you’re here?” he added softly.

Dan shook his head, eyes welling with tears.

“I’m so sorry,” Phil said in a rush, “That was such a personal question, I don’t know why I-”

“It’s okay,” Dan said softly.

Phil hovered awkwardly just at the edge of Dan’s personal space. “Um, do you want a hug or-”

“Yes,” Dan said, immediately crushing himself into Phil’s arms and squeezing his eyes shut.

He resolutely ignored the tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

“Shh,” Phil said, holding him tighter. “It’s going to be okay.”

Dan didn’t know why he believed everything this beautiful stranger said, but he did.

It was going to be okay. Dan let that message sink into his body, settle in his stomach, until his limbs felt less shaky and his footing more solid. He pulled away from Phil, wiping his eyes.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I don’t know what that was.”

“It’s okay,” Phil said. “It’s your first Pride; it’s overwhelming. Are you from nearby?”

“I’m from near Reading,” Dan said.

Phil whistled. “That’s pretty far.”

Dan shrugged. “No one will recognize me here.”

Phil nodded. “I’m sorry.”

Dan shrugged again. “It’s okay.”

“Well, I hope you have a good time. It’s a lot of fun.”

Dan looked around at everyone wearing various different pride flags, all of the floats covered in rainbow. “I think I will.”

Dan and Phil stayed together for the rest of the parade, bumping shoulders and pointing out people with particularly funny signs. When the last float passed, though, Dan realized he didn’t want to break apart.

He turned to Phil to say so, but before he could open his mouth, Phil interrupted him, looking nervous. “Actually, um, if you don’t have anywhere to be yet, I thought we could hang out for a bit? Get coffee or something?”

Dan had left a few hours after Pride for exploring London, maybe even looking at some colleges so what he told his mum wasn’t a complete lie, but he’d rather spend them with Phil. “I’d love coffee,” he said.

Phil brightened. “There’s a Starbucks really close by. If you like Starbucks?”

“I love Starbucks,” Dan said. He loved anywhere Phil wanted to drink coffee together.

“Perfect,” Phil said, already walking, presumably towards the Starbucks. “My treat.”

“Oh, you don’t have to-” Dan scrambled to keep up.

“Please,” Phil said, smiling. “It’s the least I can do.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “In exchange for what?”

“You travelled all the way to London to see me,” Phil smiled.

Dan rolled his eyes even harder. “It wasn’t to see you, dummy-”

Phil gasped in mock betrayal. “It wasn’t?”

“No,” Dan said, “It was to learn and grow as a person, to find myself, to-”

“Shut up,” Phil said, giggling. “Just let me buy you coffee.”

“Fine,” Dan said, pouting.

“Perfect,” Phil said, leading Dan into a Starbucks, “Now come on.”

Dan’s coffee was delicious, but he let it cool in his hands as their conversation went on. He and Phil had a lot in common, and their conversation flowed easily. They both followed a lot of the same online creators, they had similar taste in music, and they had similar senses of humor. They even had nearly matching hairstyles, Phil pointed out with a laugh.

“It’s a cool hairstyle,” Dan said defensively. Phil didn’t need to know that the only way Dan could make it look even slightly good was by straightening it every morning.

“Of course it is,” Phil said. “It’s mine.”

Dan rolled his eyes and lightly shoved Phil.

When Dan finally finished his coffee, he looked at it regretfully. “I guess I should get going.”

Phil hesitated. “I don’t know if you want to go back to my apartment or anything?”

Dan nodded, then looked at his watch. It was getting dark out. “Fuck. I can’t. My train.”

Phil’s shoulders slumped slightly. “Oh. Well, can I walk you to your train at least?”

Dan smiled. “Yeah. That’d be nice.”

It was lucky that Phil had offered to walk him, honestly, because Dan was completely turned around. London was one of the most confusing cities he’d ever been in, but Phil seemed to know his way around it like the back of his hand.

“Here you go,” he said, pointing out the train station Dan had arrived at earlier in the day. He shoved his hands in his pockets, staring at Dan with an intensity that made him blush. “I don’t want to go,” he admitted.

Phil drew closer, and Dan glanced around nervously. There were a few people around. No one seemed to be paying much attention, but that could change.

Fuck it, Dan decided. It was Pride. If there was ever a day for kissing cute boys in public, it was today. As Phil leaned in closer, Dan closed the gap and pressed their lips together.

It was sweet, shorter than Dan would have liked, but as Phil pulled away Dan noticed a man standing at the other end of the street, glaring. Dan could see Phil looking too.

“How about I just stick with you until your train comes?” Phil said lightly, but Dan could see his eyes still on the man on the other end of the street, who made eye contact for another second before finally turning away.

Dan felt the tension in his shoulders unwind just the slightest bit. “That’d be great,” he said.

Phil hovered protectively by Dan’s side for the next few minutes until his train came. Dan wouldn’t be much good in a fight, and he didn’t get the sense that Phil would be either, but his presence was reassuring. When it was time to say goodbye, Phil opted for a hug.

Dan sank into his arms gratefully. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“Of course,” Phil whispered back.

“Stay safe,” Dan whispered.

“I will,” Phil promised, pulling back. “See you?”

“Yeah,” Dan said. “I hope so.”

Barely a minute after Dan boarded his train, his phone buzzed.

phil: did u make it?

Dan smiled.

dan: yes

dan: ty 4 coffee btw, it was good

phil: :)

phil: b safe

dan: u 2

He waited a bit with his phone out, wondering if Phil would say anything more, but he didn’t, so Dan closed his phone and put it away. He let his head fall back against his seat and turned to look out the window, watching London pass by until it was left firmly behind him.

***

The first thing Dan did when he got back home was check AIM. Almost as soon as he logged in, he got a message.

amazingphil: ur back!

amazingphil: where were u :0

Dan hesitated. He didn’t know why he felt like lying.

danisnotonfire: i have a life that isnt online u kno

amazingphil: D:

amazingphil: betrayal

Dan didn’t talk much about his offline life with Amazingphil. He knew the basics: Dan was gay, no one knew, everyone still managed to give him shit for it somehow. But he didn’t know where Dan lived, his little brother’s name, or that he had traveled to London today for Pride.

And if he said something about Pride, then he’d be asked how it went. And then he’d have to talk about Phil. And he didn’t want to talk about Phil for some reason.

danisnotonfire: u have a life offline too

danisnotonfire: remember u said u had plans 2day?

amazingphil: :0

amazingphil: i guess i did

danisnotonfire: howd they go?

amazingphil: good :3

danisnotonfire: is that all ur gonna say

amazingphil: yes :P

amazingphil: i need 2 have mystery or ull lose interest

danisnotonfire: :0

danisnotonfire: i would never

amazingphil: good

danisnotonfire: now tell me

amazingphil: no

danisnotonfire: ಠ_ಠ

amazingphil: :D

amazingphil: it wasnt really interesting anyway lolol

amazingphil: i dont wanna bore u

danisnotonfire: impossible

danisnotonfire: u could never bore me D:

amazingphil: i could

amazingphil: law

amazingphil: textbooks

amazingphil: school

amazingphil: math

amazingphil: r u asleep yet

danisnotonfire: (-_-)zzz

amazingphil: c? told u

danisnotonfire: ok ok

danisnotonfire: u win

Dan still wanted to know what Amazingphil had been up to, but Amazingphil didn’t seem like he wanted to tell, so Dan decided to let it drop. He started to type up a question about whether or not Amazingphil had seen a video uploaded by a YouTuber they both followed, but he was interrupted.

amazingphil: im kinda tired actually

amazingphil: i think im going to bed

Dan’s smile dropped. He had been looking forward to talking to Amazingphil.

danisnotonfire: :(

danisnotonfire: good night!

amazingphil: good night!

He went offline. Dan stayed online for a bit longer, but no one else was really there, and none of the chat rooms he normally joined were interesting that night. Eventually, he gave up. He went to bed early too.

***

He woke up the next morning to a string of texts from Phil. He smiled, grabbing his phone and rolling over to read through them.

phil: hey i have some free time this wknd

phil: i could visit maybe?

phil: if ur free 2

Dan smiled harder.

dan: im free :]

dan: idk why u want 2 visit tho theres nothing here

phil: theres u

Dan had to put his phone down for a second to make sure his face did not actually combust from how hot it was getting.

dan: thatd be nice :3 i miss u

phil: lol, we saw each other yesterday

phil: (i miss u 2 :3)

dan: call me? :3

Dan’s phone started ringing immediately. He picked up. “Why would you want to visit Wokingham?” he asked. “London is way cooler.”

“But you’re not in London,” Phil said.

“I can be,” Dan said, his mind already racing to find excuses for visiting again so soon. “I could say-”

“Dan,” Phil cut him off with a laugh. “I want to visit you. Calm down.”

Dan hesitated. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Dan,” Phil said. “Why? Are you?”

Dan hesitated. “It’s not that I don’t want to see you again; I really do. But I mean, there are so many people here who know me and I’m not really out. To anyone. Except you.” And someone online, he added silently in his head.

“That’s okay,” Phil said. “We don’t have to- do anything gay if you don’t want to.” He paused. “At least not in public,” he added hopefully.

Dan chewed on his lip. “Even if my parents were out of the house, my little brother is really nosy. Sorry, I don’t think we’d be able to go there.”

“That’s okay,” Phil said, even though Dan thought he still sounded a little bit disappointed. “I’d still like to visit you. I don’t want to make you come to London every time we want to see each other.”

Butterflies erupted in Dan’s stomach. Every time? This wasn’t a one off thing?

“That’s sweet,” he said. “But really, London seems better in pretty much-”

“Awesome,” Phil said. “What time can you pick me up from the train station this Saturday?”

***

Dan opened AIM again, halfheartedly hoping that Amazingphil had come online in the five minutes he’d had AIM closed. He hadn’t, so Dan sighed, closing it again. He checked his twitter for another five minutes, then opened AIM again.

Amazingphil’s away message wasn’t even descriptive: “How much pain has cracked your soul? How much love would make you whole?” Just a Muse lyric. If it meant something, Dan wasn’t going to bother trying to decipher it.

Dan closed AIM again. He opened twitter. He closed twitter, and opened AIM. He repeated the cycle until it was time to pick Phil up at the train station.

Luckily, his mum didn’t ask why he needed the car, just absentmindedly handed him the keys and told him to drive safely. He parked near the train station, hoping he wouldn’t forget where he left the car.

“So this is Wokingham!” Phil said when he got off his train.

Dan nodded. “This is Wokingham.” Phil was disturbingly excited to be in Dan’s town. Dan wasn’t sure why, it was nothing compared to London.

Phil jumped up and down, smiling. Dan couldn’t help but smile back.

“So,” Phil said. “Show me the sights! Hear me the sounds! What is there to do around here?”

Dan shrugged. “Uh, I don’t really go out a lot. But there’s this coffee place I go to a lot if you don’t mind more coffee?”

Phil narrowed his eyes. “Is it Starbucks?”

Dan laughed. “Starbucks? You wish. Phil, I am going to take you to the indiest, least mainstream coffeeshop you have ever been to.”

Phil blinked. “Low bar, if I’m being honest.”

“After this, you’ll never be able to go to a Starbucks again without being disappointed.”

Phil raised an eyebrow. “Tall order.” He giggled. “Get it? Tall order? Because Starbucks drinks are-”

Dan rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help giggling either. “Shut up.”

Phil’s tongue poked out when he laughed, Dan noticed. “Never. I will not be silenced.”

Dan shook his head. “Disappointing.”

Phil pouted.

Dan relented. “It was a little bit funny.”

Phil immediately perked up. “You think I’m funny?”

Dan rolled his eyes so hard they hurt.

Phil giggled.

“Shut up,” Dan said. “Let’s go.”

When they got to the coffee shop, Phil spent an obnoxious amount of time reading the menu.

“It’s just coffee,” Dan said. “It’s not that complicated.”

“It is absolutely that complicated,” Phil insisted. He ended up taking about ten minutes to decide what to order, and when he did it was the same caramel macchiato he had ordered at the Starbucks they went to in London.

Dan reached past Phil to put a wad of pound notes on the counter. “My treat,” he said. “Since you got the train tickets and all.”

Phil glared at Dan and stuffed a wad of pound notes in the tip jar.

Oh well. At least Dan could say he tried. And the barista, who was honestly a little bit cute, seemed very happy about it, so Dan was going to call this a win.

Their coffee was ready in just a few minutes, and Dan watched Phil’s face carefully as he took his first sip of his caramel macchiato. “How is it?” he asked.

Phil closed his eyes. “It’s amazing.”

“Better than Starbucks?”

Phil’s eyes flew open. “Now, now. I didn’t say that,” he said.

Dan snorted at the look of near-panic on Phil’s face. “Don’t worry, Phil. I won’t tell Starbucks you’ve been cheating on her.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Dan. You’re such a good friend.”

Dan looked down. Friend. He didn’t want to act ungrateful, but he had been hoping that Phil didn’t want to only be his friend.

Phil groaned. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Dan looked up, confused.

“Sorry,” Phil said. “I kind of just got out of a relationship, and I know we live in different cities, so I don’t know if it’s honestly the best idea, but I really like you. And I want to make it work. If you do too.”

Dan smiled. “I think I’d like that.”

Their coffee date- date? Was this a date? It really seemed like a date- well, whatever it was, it went well. Phil admitted that this coffee was, in fact, superior to Starbucks. He told Dan a bit about his job- he worked as a video editor- and asked Dan about his. Dan was a little embarrassed to admit he worked at Asda, but Phil didn’t seem fazed. Before long, Dan was telling stories about all the outraged customers he’d dealt with, and Phil was laughing along.

Dan let himself relax a little bit. It didn’t seem like Phil was going to judge him.

They spent the rest of the day wandering around Wokingham. There really wasn’t much to see, but Dan pointed out all of the places he and his friends used to spend time, before, well, they stopped being Dan’s friends, and all of the little coffee shops and secondhand clothing stores he still went to.

When Phil got on his train home, he didn’t kiss him. Dan knew too many people in Wokingham for that. But Phil did hug him, tightly, and Dan whispered a promise to visit soon in his ear.

***

When Dan got back to his room, the first thing he did was check AIM.

Amazingphil still had the same away message as that morning. Dan sighed. Why was he so hard to reach today?

Oh well. There were other things to do on the internet anyway. Twitter was boring today, but there was always YouTube, and random AIM chatrooms where he didn’t know anyone. Dan lost track of time, chatting with someone he was pretty convinced was a fifty year old man pretending to be a teenager, until he got a notification that Amazingphil was online.

He immediately closed his other chat window; the fifty year old man would have to wait.

danisnotonfire: ur back!!! :D

amazingphil: lol

amazingphil: im back :D

danisnotonfire: was ur relaxing day unplugged relaxing

amazingphil: lol

amazingphil: yes

amazingphil: i had a good day :)

danisnotonfire: that’s good

amazingphil: i was thinking though

amazingphil: u know what’s weird

amazingphil: i don’t know what u look like >.<

amazingphil: we should skype or something

danisnotonfire: we should

danisnotonfire: when?

danisnotonfire: like rn?

amazingphil: sure

amazingphil: if u want

amazingphil: im not doing anything

Dan glanced around. He should clean his room.

danisnotonfire: give me 5

He glanced around again. There was no way his entire room was getting cleaned in five minutes.

Oh well. He had committed. He slammed his laptop shut and surveyed the room, trying to figure out what he could clean in five minutes. Or, well, what he could shove under his bed or in his closet in the next five minutes.

He managed to hide all his dirty laundry, then kicked a bunch of the clutter in his room to one side and pointed his laptop camera firmly away from it.

He opened AIM again, composing a message.

danisnotonfire: ok im ready

danisnotonfire: my skype is danisnotonfire too

He barely had time to open skype before he got an incoming call from Amazingphil. He picked up, then gaped at the screen in shock.

“Wait,” he said. “Phil?”

Phil blinked. “Dan?”

“What are you doing here?” Dan asked stupidly.

“Skyping you,” Phil said, just as stupidly.

“You’re- you’re Amazingphil?”

“Yeah.”

“And also Phil.”

“I think?” Phil extended his arms, staring at them, as if to check that they were real.

Dan groaned, putting his head in his hands. “How did we not figure this out?”

“To be completely honest,” Phil admitted, “I couldn’t really figure out what your screenname was supposed to say. I didn’t really know your name was Dan.”

Dan laughed. “What did you think it said?”

Phil blushed. “I don’t know!”

“No, really,” Dan said, an embarrassing amount of affection leaking into his voice. “What did you think it said?”

“Like, Dani snot on fire or something,” Phil said. “Look, it’s hard to read, it’s all lowercase-”

Dan groaned. “You thought my name was Dani and my username was about my snot being on fire?”

“Look,” Phil said, still blushing, “I don’t know. What’s your excuse for not knowing who I was?”

Dan felt his face heat up. He shrugged. “Phil is a common name?”

Phil laughed. “Not that common. Dan, you spork-”

“Shut up!” Dan said. “I’m not the one who doesn’t know how to read-”

“Maybe if your username wasn’t so hard to read-”

“Oh, blame it on me-”

“Look, I’m just saying-”

Dan scoffed. “You’re just saying.”

“I am,” Phil insisted. “Look, we both made bad decisions-”

“Bad decisions?” Dan said. “You think us meeting was a-”

“Okay, okay. Stupid decisions,” Phil corrected himself. “My point is, we’re here now. Isn’t that what matters?”

Dan had to agree that it was.

#my writing #phanfic #phan #phanfiction

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aaronhart93 · 4 years ago

Text

text || alison & aaron

Discord text thread featuring: aaron & @alison-haynes

When: december 16

Mentions: @quentindelancret @ronnieroy @wtf-eden @lemonkiaiyo

Description: aaron spills his guts about quentin to alison and alison asks aaron for advice about lemon

TW: -

Alison.

I know you’re spending the night Christmas Eve, so we can do Christmas morning together. Do you want to stay for Christmas dinner? Or are you heading to your moms?

Aaron.

maybe I’ll ask my mom and Ireland to your place?

by the way. Eden and Ronnie are staying with me for a bit. Just so you know who’s here when Des is here. Ronnie’s apartment was broken into and Eden needs some space from her boyfriend

Alison.

yes, that’s fine with me! I’d love to have them here.

I love Eden and Ronnie. Thanks for letting me know though. Are they both doing okay?

Aaron.

Ronnie is shaken up and Eden is just stressed. I think it’s good for them to be together though lol they’re something else when they’re together

Alison.

Well they are lucky to have you helping them out

Aaron.

also

I have another thing to tell you

like get off my chest

don’t judge me plz

Alison.

oh boy

go for it

Aaron.

so I um

remember when I told you about Quentin and how I wanted him to meet Des and you told me to figure out how I feel about him

well

it unfortunately hit me up side the head after the holiday party. I know he’s in love with me and I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him. Thing is...last night I took him out for his birthday at throuple. Some of our friends were there including Roman and I snuck off to get drunk and flirt with Roman AT Q’S BDAY PARTY. And I feel soooo terrible about it

Alison.

*ugh emoji*

if you’re in love with him, do you want it to turn into something,

Aaron.

hey I told you you couldn’t judge me

I’m not sure.

no I like being single

Alison.

I’m not judging

How do you love someone and not want to do something about it?

Aaron.

a lot of reasons

I love my freedom and being single

and I don’t want to hurt him. I think it might be better for us to just stay the way we are and not put any restrictive label on it

Alison.

I don’t know. If I loved someone, i think it’d probably hurt more to not be together.

but it’s a relationship between you guys, you know what’s best for your two

Aaron.

i don’t know. But I haven’t exactly told him how I feel

and at the holiday party...we were getting really intimate. Like. We’ve had sex before obviously but it felt so much more intense this time

and then I pushed him off of me like a dick because I couldn’t handle it

Alison.

are you going to tell him how you feel?

Yikes...that’s tough. Have you been intimate with him since?

Aaron.

if you count drunk sex as intimacy then yes

and no. i mean...i dont know...if i do things will change with us

Alison.

I feel like things are going to change either way

Aaron.

explaiiinnn

Alison.

with what happened at the holiday party, I feel like that could happen again. If you love him, sex is going to be intense and what if you just can’t have sex with him anymore? Maybe if your feelings are out there it will make things easier

Aaron.

i cant imagine a world where i can't have sex with him lmao

Alison.

well it’s happened once before, it could just get more intense

Aaron.

https://media.tenor.co/videos/0d5495d03063a544f7f621e8c6a978e6/mp4

Alison.

just trying to be honest with you

Aaron.

i know

thats why im coming to you with this

Alison.

ultimately it’s your decision, I just feel like if your feelings are on the table it might be better.

Aaron.

im afraid of admitting that to him though

Alison.

are you afraid of it destroying everything? Or afraid of what might come of it?

Aaron.

both

Alison.

I think you should think about it. Like truly think about it. Telling him might have a better outcome than you think it will

Aaron.

ugh okay i hear you

doesnt mean im gonan do it though

Alison.

at least think about it

Aaron.

i hear you, respectfully disagree, but hear you

loll

Alison.

you were scared to start a relationship with Eden when that started up, and that went well. So just remember, relationships aren’t terrible.

Aaron.

it went well bc we acted more like best friends than lovers

Alison.

think about it

Aaron.B

but you're right it wasn't a terrible relationship

okay

ellie is gonna take Des to piano today btw. am i picking her up or are you

Alison.

I can pick her up

also can we talk about that weather on Sunday? Did you know it was supposed to snow?

Aaron.

no clue

hope you stayed warm lmfao

Alison.

I did

I was not expecting to be locked in all day on my birthday though

Aaron.

yeah but im sure you loved an excuse to stay in

im just glad the babysitter was able to keep Des for longer

Alison.

It was a nice day for sure. Best birthday I’ve had in a while

I thought the same thing about the twins. I was stresssing over the thought of the nanny bringing them home in the storm

Aaron.

im glad they're okay

were you alone....or

Alison.

no I wasn’t alone

Aaron.

explainnn

Alison.

Lemon wanted to walk me home from the party, and when we got back I invited him up for coffee and we just talked.....and talked and talked. Next thing I knew it was morning and we were snowed in together

Aaron.

ya'll had cofffffeeeeeeee after a party at a bar?? lmao

Alison.

yes yes we did

no judgement Aaron

Aaron.

hey.

No judgement

just a questionnnnnn

Alison.

it was a great cup of coffee

but speaking about lemon, I need your advice on something

Aaron.

hahaha okay hit me!!

Alison.

1. Do you think I should make a move and ask him to maybe be official? Or should I wait to see if he makes that move?

2. I should keep Christmas gifts for him not too crazy, right? You know I love to spoil people at Christmas

Aaron.

you just met this man like two weeks ago. Less than that. Are you sure you’ve gotten to know him well enough to make it official? What if hes like a murdered or something?

definitely don’t make it crazy. Especially since you’re well off and he’s not. But you could probably buy him some nice things!!

Alison.BOTToday at 3:00 PM

Has it really only been a couple weeks? It feels like it has been longer than that. I can’t explain it Aaron, but something feels right about him. Like, there is something there that I didn’t even feel with the twins father. I know it’s fast, but I just have these feelings that I know I won’t be able to shake anytime soon. Also, he’s too sweet to be a murderer so I’ve ruled that option out. Plus, the world already thinks we’re together, someone shared a photo online of us kissing at the holiday party and paps caught lemon coming into my pent that night

I’m struggling to come up with good ideas for him. I’ve written something for him, and he was telling me about this flower from his native island, I was thinking about doing research and trying to get him some of those flowers. Is that weird? It’s probably weird.

I don’t want to weird him out

Aaron.

okay well you can't really fairly compare him to the twins' father. he sucks. for like 2345 different reasons. so that not really a great comparison. the pap photos don't surprise me though. have u talked to him about that? like...ngl getting papped for being alison haynes' life takes a lot of getting used to. even for me, and i already had some exposure with rich kids. what did you write for him???? i wanna hear. i think the song and the flower would suffice as a christmas gift, especially considering he might make something for you too ya know?? the flower thing isnt weird, it's really really thoughtful.

Alison.

but I didn’t think he was a tool when I dated him. I thought he was the person I’d spend my entire life with. We all know the truth behind him now. But there is just something I feel for Lemon that I need to explore. We talked a little bit about it at the holiday party after he kissed me, but I did text him today about all of it. Because we’re trending on Twitter. I told him I’d make a public statement and shut it down if that is what he wants. But I’m waiting to hear back from him. I really hope it doesn’t scare him off, but I do know we need to talk about it because it is a lot. I haven’t recorded it yet, but I’ll play it for you next time I see you. You think so? I just don’t want to seem weird.

Aaron.

i think you need to see how he feels about that honestly...because that could be a big thing for him. especially since he grew up so modestly...hes so not used to that

the flower is probably way more thoughtful of a gift that i would ever think of

Alison.

I know. Of course I am going to talk to him about it before I do anything crazy. I'm just nervous it's too much, its too much for a lot of people.

Aaron.

it is, yeah. but i really hope it works out

im gonna have to have a stern talking to him though

Alison.

i do too

oh boy, not the big bad aaron stern talk

Aaron.

tell him to be afraid lmao

Alison.

i'll warn him

#text #text: alison #alison #discord

3 notes · View notes

itsclownhours · 4 years ago

Conversation

merlin as tumblr posts again because when i edited a typo in the original it fucked up the formatting

everyone: you have to make time for yourself

morgana: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* me time

morgana: ohhhh so the pain is forever and endless i get it now

young!mordred: once i learn how to read and write it’s over for you hoes

lancelot, in cursive: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: what does this say

elyan: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: bitch me neither that’s why i asked

arthur, to merlin, about lancelot: is he...y’know…*gestures downard to super hell*

uther, straight: hey what’s up guys do you want to go get some food

arthur and morgana, gay: ??????

uther: oh sorry i mean asgdhjdhs guys do you??? want some food??? lmao ashdjdjhs

arthur and morgana: oh! agshdjjshsj yeah lmao agshdj

morgana: do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends

gwen: am taking care of a tiny kitten. have given it an excellent name. dad thinks i’m calling her “minty” but this is actually short for The Government

gwen: The Government bit my finger and pooped on the floor

gwaine: peak art is when you were like six and you scribbled all over ms paint and then carefully paintbucketed in all the different shapes in the scribbles to make “stained glass”

morgause: forcing my car to commit sins so it goes to hell with me when i die

leon, after arthur gives the knights a pep talk: so motivational...time to drill a hole in my skull

morgana: i want to be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i don’t do anything

arthur: pros and cons of being my friend:

arthur: pro: you have a friend

arthur: con: it’s me

gwaine, to lancelot: bro let’s watch a horror movie together...bro you look scared do you wanna share a blanket dude? if you wanna hold hands it’s ok. if you wanna rest your head on my shoulder it’s alright bro...bro if you wanna kiss that’s understandable that was a scary movie...we can keep cuddling after the movie is over it’s alright dude…

lancelot: old town road but he just keeps listing all the places he has horses

gwaine: i got the horses in the back

gwaine: horses on the track

gwaine: horses in the shack and i got horses fetching snacks

gwaine: i got the horses in earth’s core

gwaine: down under the floor

gwaine: horses in the store and i got horses on the moor

gwaine: died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

morgana: *shows up at college* excuse me will someone please direct me to the leftist brainwashing class? i’m here for the leftist brainwashing class

merlin: finally found someone i was more disappointed in that myself: the entirety of america camelot

morgause: customer (derogatory)

arthur: business major (derogatory)

leon: leonardo dicaprio date a woman over 25 challenge

gwaine: thought that said “leonardo da vinci” and was confused since da vinci was gay and also since you were calling out someone who’s been dead for well over 7 years

leon: well. da vinci has been well over 7 years, i’ll give you that

morgana: the retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. i’ve had enough

gwaine: i’m fucking in luigi’s mansion

leon: who?

gwaine: some italian freak

gwaine: oh you meant who am i fucking. your mom

leon: stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. what will happen is fire

gwaine: but what if...something else happens. just this 1 time

morgause: bored? burn an orphan. who’re they gonna tell? their parents?

morgana: due to personal reasons i will be a serial arsonist

mithian: fruit (affectionate)

arthur: going to the fruit (derogatory) store do you want anything

gwen: fruit (salad, yummy yummy)

morgana, to gwen: i’m allergic to hookup culture and too weird to participate anyway. die in my arms

kilgharrah: i am fast and full of teeth. i will die in a barn fire

morgana: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana: evil again

morgause: every day i put on my evil little clothes and do my evil little tasks

percival: megan thee stallion and timothee chalamet are the same age

gwaine: megan thee stallion 🤝 timo thee chalamet

morgana: hey how many swords do you have

morgause: sword of a lot

morgana: blocked

morgause: parried

morgana and gwen simultaneously in 1x10: *chanting* girls with swords girls with swords

morgana: the more knives you have the more valid you are

kilgharrah: blocked. blocked. blocked. you’re all blocked. none of you are free from sin.

morgana: seven deadly sins speedrun

gwaine: i want 6 pet sloths so i can name them after every sin except for sloth

merlin: the eighth deadly sin is networking

arthur: online school culture is constantly wondering if there’s a sneaky little assignment you missed...is it tucked under modules or assignments or heaven forbid, announcements? who’s to say?

gaius: asynchronous learning

merlin, a clown: mmmnaptime

arthur: have you ever just cried because you’re you

elyan, to percival: bro, we are teens . it’s ok to cry around me . i’m your best friend . i love you … bro we are kissing now … no don’t stop bro … bro …

morgana: mad bc i was told as the bride my wedding would be “my day” but actually where will be a whole other bride there and we will have to share it

leon: i’m disgusted every time someone does a gender reveal and it’s about a gender i already know about, what kind of reveal is that

leon: gender reveal party??? no, this is a gender repeal party. we out here revoking genders

gwaine: you’re laughing. i asked you who sings party rock anthem and you’re laughing

gwaine: make no mistake not only am i party rocking but i’m also in the house tonight

elyan: are you shuffling?

gwaine: everyday

morgana: lung extensions

morgana: with extended lungs you can: scream longer, breathe harder, brag about extended lungs

morgana: this procedure is not legal but i will do it for you

morgana: do not tell the police or morgause

morgana: i’m so sick of dna, i’m going to have all mine removed

morgause: good news! this is a real thing that can happen to you

morgana: perfect, sign me up

morgana: if YOU die because i poisoned you...how is that MY fault like i’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons i think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. fix yourself before blaming others

arthur: my body is NOT a “temple”...it is a CLOWN CAR and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

morgause: live

morgause: laugh

morgause: l u r k

mcdonald’s employee: please sir get off the table

gwaine: I ASKED FOR TWO LARGE FRIES *dumping bag of fried out onto the floor* BUT INSTEAD GOT A HUNDRED FUCKEN LITTLE ONES

merlin: i relate to vampires because i too must be clearly and specifically invited in before i have the audacity to try to participate in anything

gwaine: it can’t be september, just yesterday is was marchgustuary

lancelot: today’s date: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/20

gwaine: why are internet friends not normalized. it’s 2020 they’re probably making robots that will wipe your ass for you and i can’t text grace in the uk and tell her to have a good day? fuck you

percival: imagine if halsey was in beauty and the beast

elyan: are you insane like gaston. been in pain like gaston. bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like gaston

arthur: my dad is learning about pronouns/gender identity and he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he is cis

merlin: ough. those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. maybe the next one will be better

morgana: i’m at the dark candy store, buying sorrowful ranchers

merlin: i’m surprised no one has ever punched me in the face

gwen: i want a gf so i can send her memes about loving my gf

morgause: oh to cook with my wife and stand directly in front of cabinets and drawers she needs to open

morgause: decided i will no longer be paying taxes. what are they gonna do, tax me more? go ahead. i won’t pay those either. oh i’m going to prison? the one paid for by my tax dollars? sorry, didn’t pay em. now there is no prison. i am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times

merlin: lab safety but the teacher just wants to you die

merlin: lab safety: 1. drink whatever’s in that beaker. i know you fucking want to

morgause: my therapist is selling her house so i’m gonna find the listing online and make her living room my zoom backgrounds before our next session. you wanna get in my head? ok well i’m in your home babe. i’m in charge now

morgana: yeah i see why you’re in therapy

morgana: i hate it when people ask me to “explain my thought process” like hell if i know

morgana: what’s going on in that head of yours?” nothing i want to be a part of

mordred: hey girls what’s the hot gossip what’s new what’s the 411

morgana and morgause: everything is bad and getting worse by the day

morgause: common letter greetings from 1889

morgause: dearest my-soon-to-be-enemy

morgause: salutations and i hope you enjoy contact prison

morgause: i hope this letter finds you in a ditch

arthur: *highlights all the wrong and unimportant stuff with full confidence*

merlin: i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say, i’m not a fan

morgana: a large group of humans is called a fuck that

website: synonyms for blood: juice

mithian: thank you thesaurus.com, that is absolutely not what i was looking for

gwaine: gen z humor was single-handedly cultivated by the zoo wee mama comic and you can’t convince me otherwise

morgana: screw this it’s halloween now *turns into a swarm of bats them consumes the moon*

morgana: i can’t believe the heterosexuals are gone. they’re gone

uther: we’re still here

arthur: who said that

gwaine: no more france

gwaine: society has progressed passed the need for france

morgause: girls night out (of body experience)

morgana, to morgause: what do you mean “what have i been up to”...i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch

merlin: stop complaining about your life. there are literally people living in camelot

arthur, trying to find new knights: oh so you’re a human? name three pictures with traffic lights in them

gwaine: we mcfreaking lost her doctor

morgause: looking for a wife in the walmart

morgause: arrested for visiting www.killing.com/murder

gwaine, to merlin: no bro this isn’t a date listen bro

gwaine: it’s bruhnch

morgause, to cenred: if you think i’m not interested, you’re right

gwen: put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe

morgana: idk what mad scientist needs to hear this today but your goggles and lab coat are incredibly flattering and all your experiments will block away the scientific community who called you a fool

morgause: i’m gonna fucking die disease

morgause: symptoms: back hurts a bit too much for a bit too long

arthur: if you think i’m annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

merlin: sorry if i’m bothering you

surgeon: how do you keep waking up and saying that

gwaine: home depot needs more small tunnels for me to crawl through tbh

percival: hot tip: soup is customizable! go wild but know your limits

morgana: brains say “i know a spot” and take you to a traumatic memory from 2011

mithian: “can you multitask” yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time

morgana: quarantine schedule to keep you on track

morgana: wake up

morgana: neglect online school

morgana: yearn (ongoing project)

morgana: again!

mithian: if cats don’t want to be held like little babies maybe they shouldn’t be roughly the size and shape of little babies

morgause: fuck this pandemic i could’ve ruined 2020 on my own

morgana: a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently

morgana: oh to wear a knife strapped against my thigh beneath a silk dress

morgana, running off with morgause at the end of season 2: i hate this place i want to go to build a bear

morgana, at work: i’m evil

morgana, 1 second after clocking out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana, the next day at work: evil again

season 2 morgana: i am fine thank you for asking! though recently there has been a darkness growing within me

morgause: *thinks about love* okay well i am just losing my mind and being insane now

arthur: you think you can hurt my feelings? i’ve been the least favorite in every single friendship group i’ve had since i was 8

morgana, staring out the window at arthur and merlin: look at them plotting my downfall

mithian: i wanna buy clown noses in bulk and start sticking them on every person i see whose mask is pulled too low

mithian: oh to be a tiny cat whose biggest concern is the looming threat of being gently picked up and kissed on the head

morgana: i deserve to be kissed

morgana: did you have a homoerotic friendship with a girl in high school that ended in tragedy and you two are never talking again or are you normal?

mithian: just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency :/

morgana: i think i’ll continue to wear a mask when this shit’s all over, and huge sunglasses. my face is none of your business

morgause: my therapist told me that sometimes when a person consumes the same piece of media over and over they may be unconsciously coping with a mental block so now i’m trying to figure out what the fuck i was going through that made me watch ratatouille 8 times a day for a solid month in middle school

morgause: opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century

morgana: very homophobic that my head is not laying on the chest of my maidservant as i am drifting off to sleep

merlin: no no, it’s fine, i’ll text myself back

morgana: *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns*

arthur: i’d have to be a fool not to? being a fool and not doing things are my top two activities

gwaine: you think it’s easy to be me? you think it’s easy to get up every. single. day. and be an industrial grade dumbass? well it’s not. but that’s what i do. and i’ll never stop.

morgana: ah shit i’m sorry man, my schedule for the week is all booked

sunday: yearn

monday: pine

tuesday: long

wednesday: ache

thursday: sigh

friday: lament

saturday: crave

morgana: talents include: being a public menace, denying God’s will, petting dogs, yearning, being dramatic, witchcraft, quoting classic literature when no one asked, napping, befriending a murder of crows, being gay, covering up my emotions by being “the funny friend” when in reality i’m really going through it, wistfully staring out the car window

merlin: *doesn’t even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

cenred: a “period” is not an excuse to have an attitude

morgause: i miss the times when men would go to war and die

morgana: the cheap halloween vampire fangs stay ON during sex

gwen: maybe i pspspspsp’ed you because i love you. did you think of that? huh?

morgana: mom said it��s my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

arthur: that wasn’t mom

uther: she JUST SAID it was her turn

morgause: i’m a chill person but if my back doesn’t stop hurting i’m going to take out my spine and beat God with it

mithian: one of these days i’m going to say the f word

mithian: then you’ll all be sorry

morgause: 3 words every girl wants to hear

morgause: club penguin membership

morgana: hmm, yes.

morgana: time to s i p

morgana: some *~crispy~*

morgana: d i h y d r o g e n m o n o x i d e

morgause: roll call! raise your hand if you’re in the following fandoms:

morgause: 1. suffering 2. the pain of living

morgana: *raises both hands and a leg*

leon: it’s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager

merlin: yeah bro hit me up and we’ll cancel some plans sometime

morgana: my brain, or as i like to call it, the suffer contraption

morgause: my circle so small i almost cut myself off

morgause hyping herself up before entering any public area: i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

arthur: today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because

arthur: swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac

merlin: even when i am not speaking, know that horrible sentences are raging within me

mithian in 5x04: sorry bro i can’t go out tonight. i’m stuck in an eternal state of melancholy

morgause: shower gel label: immerse yourself in this new “Me Time” luxury frooty tooty. abandon all sense of identity and dissolve your memories into this soothing chemical broth. one billion melons are in this tube...use them wisely

leon, writing a headline about the most recent knights’ mission: local dumbasses knew that what they were getting themselves into and did it anyways

morgana: *feels random pain in body*

morgana: kill me

mithian: *slowly inches closer to your pet*

morgause: *refuses to look at texts* i love conversation and communication

arthur: cute gender neutral things to call your partner

arthur: significant annoyance

leon: the most unrealistic fantasy trope is the one where half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer because i have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

gwaine: why is everyone talking about 1d all of a sudden did one of them die

elyan: they’re 10 years old now

gwaine: i wish them luck 4th grade is tough!!

gwaine: must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be passionate about tv shows and snack foods?

leon, aroace: cool date idea: me eating oatmeal by myself

morgana: i have no self of steam

gwaine: i hate wearing a mask. i miss being able to gently kiss my trader joe’s cashier on the lips after they ring up my $8 box of blueberries

morgana: committing acts of violence today…*pushes morgause’s glass of water off the counter*

gwaine: mario will do anything to put a smile on your face

morgana: haha we get along so well...our brains just work the same way

morgause, after changing her entire personality to match morgana’s after analyzing the way she talks and texts: haha yeah it’s incredible

gwaine: covered in sauce, trembling

arthur: *says the vaguest most incoherent shit ever*

arthur: you know what i mean :/

[online]

morgana: *screenshots things her girlfriend said to her so she can read it again later* yeah i’m not gay

uther: dude no offence i don’t want to sound like an sjw or anything but if you have a girlfriend you’re straight. that’s just how it works

morgana: i’m a girl

uther: what the fuck

morgana: the second you say “family group chat” i know we are not the same

gwen: what if early in the morning after buying groceries we got caught in the rain and i used my jacket to cover your head ut we still got soaked and we made a fire at home and brewed tea and sat together watching the rain as our cats hid under our feets at each sound of thunder and we ate stew for dinner and watched tv until we fell asleep on the couch with your head resting on my shoulder

gwaine, to percival: hold my hand bro we’re crossing the street

percival: imageine if we all just started ignoring celebrities though

percival: i can’t stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kyie jenner posting a selfie and it gets 12 likes

morgana: this isn’t fun anymore i need a kiss

morgause at 1159 pm: life’s great lol

morgause at 1201 am: does anyone really know me? most importantly do i really know me? what if life doesn’t get better than this?

merlin: king i needbfjdjgnjfg qldkr snmsmdjgjt ….. .. i need--fjrjkrhgphpqn dd

arthur: huh *dunks merlin’s head back underwater*

morgana: i don’t go to therapy or take any pills i just rawdog life and let my brain turn into soup

mordred: dark emails

morgause: to whom it WILL concern

morgana: now that this email has found you

gwaine: hi waiter could i get the spaghetti i promise i’ll behave this time

merlin: the sexiest thing about me? everything hurts my feelings

gwaine: how is sex fun if i have to remove my crocs to have it

elyan: if he makes you remove your crocs for sex he isn’t the one

morgause: a motherfucker could use an embrace

morgana: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

fanfiction: there’s only one room available…

morgause, who specifically chose a rated m and explicit story: oh my gosh there’s only one room they’re gonna share a bed what’s gonna happen next

morgana: i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

arthur: some of y’all weren’t asked out as a joke in middle school and it shows

morgana: how is everyone doing. i’ll go first i’m doing badly

morgana: being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of the knights told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when i asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was a baby and to this day the mental image of nasa launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

elyan: do you wish you were seeing somebody

leon: a therapist

morgause: when you see someone from high school and they don’t recognize you that’s the exact opposite of the mortifying ordeal of being known. the gratifying relief of being forgotten

[texting]

morgana: you seem hard to kill

morgause: aw thank you

morgause: i haven’t been killed yet

morgana: to your knowledge

morgause: what

morgana: just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……..like being horizontal? Unparalleled

arthur: when i was younger i really thought that piranhas were going to be a bigger issue for me than they’ve turned out to be

morgause: filling out the depression and anxiety checkboxes at the doctors is always so sad but also very very funny

morgause: i am handed a piece of paper. i check off a box that says “every day i wish i were dead”. i hand back the paper. the paper and its contents are never again discussed.

morgana: unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

morgana: if california is so expensive why don’t you move to somewhere like ohio

morgause: full offense but i’d rather be dead in california than alive in ohio

morgause: ugly and uninspiring--review of ohio

morgana: staying up late not even fun anymore it’s just sad

morgause: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :)

morgause’s brain: except for you

morgause: except for me :)

mithian: please peer pressure me into finishing projects

merlin: do it or you’re straight

mithian: i said peer pressure not threaten

morgause: the year is 2030. bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. i go to hug my wife for comfort. she is cake.

morgause: i sob in despair as i eat my cake wife. she is delicious

gwen: do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

gwen: “i used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

morgause: basically i accidentally listened to a song a few years ago and it led to this

morgana: *desperately tries to romanticise her homework*

uther: do i have to be pretty? is it not enough to simply be the loudest person in the room with the worst opinions

morgana: oh i can’t possibly study, i have allotted the next six hours to yearning vaguely

morgause: allow me to de-introduce myself

morgause: my name is [redacted]

arthur: i have no good posts today i’m sorry guys

merlin: haha “today”

mordred: “do we perhaps use magic because we were bullied and needed blah blah special interest blah blah” shut the FUCK up i use magic to see my anime husband’s big fucking honkers. sorry you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: i came here to bully people

mordred: is it because you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: no it’s because i’m deranged

mithian: pretty sure seven deadly sins is a bit excessive

mithian: just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry

mithian: sloth and pride make Bottoming

morgana: despicable me ruined the word minion whenever i become a supervillain i’m just going to have to call them my homies or whatever

gwen: as a bisexual i am attracted to lanky boys with dark hair, girls who look like they could kill me, and anyone wearing vampire teeth

morgana: if someone tried to assassinate me that would make me feel so important and valued and beloved

gwaine: turn down for whom?

mithian: fact: usage of the word “the” has begun to decline. this is because as more and more people become educated, usage of the word “thoum’st” has become more common.

morgana, kidnapping mithian in 5x04: truth or dare? uhhh i dare you to………………………………..fall in love with me. haha i’m just joking bro………………..unless…………………………?

gwaine: my thoughts are like a clearance sale

gwaine: once it’s gone it’s gone

morgana: *pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” specifically to piss off morgause*

gwaine: do you prefer women or men?

leon: death

morgause: honestly no offense but i love falling asleep and sleeping. it’s like. ok goodnight

morgause: ngl it’s kinda difficult to be the moody and mysterious background character in everyone’s life when you’re quarantined at home

morgause: i need to get laid

morgause: --to rest. put me in a coffin, let my soul ascend

gwaine: it takes a lot of heart to be this stupid

gwaine: it takes real strength not to know shit about fuck

elyan: what’s your favorite anime?

leon: i’m a christian

arthur: just bought this tapeworm from etsy!

lancelot: where are you gonna keep it

arthur: :)

merlin: i don’t like this conversion very much

gwaine: i’m home alone with the tv repair man

gwaine: i’m no fool, there are only two possible outcomes of this scenario

gwaine: porn or murder

gwaine, an hour later: apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves

morgause: well tomorrow fucking sucked

morgana: dark brunch

morgana: *mixes a mimosa with evil intent*

morgause: this is just what being gay is like

gwaine: movie idea: guy finds a stone tablet engraved with a mysterious alien language and gets caught up in a national treasure-esque adventure to decipher its meaning, only to learn that it’s just an alien “live laugh love” decoration

arthur: sorry i didn’t mean to open your ig story 20 seconds after you posted i’m just unemployed

arthur: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgana: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

cenred: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgause: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

morgana: wow would you look at that. it’s already that time of the night where i move the stuff on my bed to my chair. can’t wait until tomorrow when i move the stuff from my chair back onto my bed

gwaine: hi i’m bethany with girl defined ministry and today we are going to be talking about how to stan my chemical romance in a God-honoring way

morgana: bottom: ,,, !!! ;;; vers: …. top: no punctuation whatsoever

morgause: tops are illiterate

morgause: i slept for almost 12 hours but i might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case

morgana: morgause that’s a coma

morgause: sounds festive

mithian: i am a simple woman. i enter the kitchen. i eat four servings of bread products. i leave.

gwaine: it’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself

mithian: i like the way you think, friend

gwaine: spencer from icarly and rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum

elyan: the gay older brother scale

merlin: i found a rock :)

merlin: my troubles will soon be over

gwaine: parasite (2019) dir. bong joon ho

percival: uncut gems (2019) dir. josh and benny safdie

elyan: cain

morgana: social distancing is okay for me bc i’ve been touch starved since the 15th century. i’m used to it

mithian: fanfiction hits different when you’re gay and yearning and haven’t experienced an ounce of romance in your life

morgause: callout for rude baby seen at grocery store

morgause: i’m calling out a baby (approximately 12-14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. i’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. anyway, i smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. as soon as i began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when i turned back around. this happened multiple times. the baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. the baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping

gwen: we need to melt down all the pennies and make the statue of liberty a girlfriend

morgause: had a realization in a dream i just had that this isn’t real and i can just do whatever i want and so i started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small i woke up sleep paralyzed

morgause: i was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it’s all in my head and the first thing i did was use them to torment the nearest man

morgause: and the actual God woke me up and put be into a 5 minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what i’ve done

morgana: does anyone else feel an awkward tension whenever you see another person your age in the grocery store

gwaine: the number 87 kinda looks like a plague doctor

percival: you’ve just changed the fucking game

elyan: [|87

morgana: a lonely bitch...a loner...i love isolation AND detachment

gwaine: i will not call the judges “your honor”. in america we don’t have titles of nobility. they will get a simple “yes dude” from me

gwaine: calling big bird just “bird” because i do not respect him

morgause: *photo of a pizza in a bad* caught the bae sleepin

mordred: now why would you waste a perfectly good pizza :(

morgause: that “waste” happens to be my wife getting her beauty sleep. think before you speak

gwaine: *finishes wedding vows* don’t forget to like and subscribe

morgana: *is bitter but is also right*

morgana: how dare you not notice me when i’m ignoring you

morgause, killing cenred: men be like i’m bilingual i speak english and over women

gwaine: after i move i really wanna get a used roomba

percival: i love that you’re adopting instead of buying from a breeder

mordred: joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink

morgana: my kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability

morgause: unrealistic, settle for choking like normal people

gaius: gay people use halloween props as home decor year round

morgana: shut up shut up this black jar with a raven painted on it is holiday-neutral

[texting]

morgause: can you come out?

morgana: yeah gimme a minute

morgana: morgause, i’m gay

morgause: i know that. come out to the car

morgana: car, i’m gay

morgause: God FUCKING damnit i’m such a hopeless romantic one day someone’s gonna say “i love you” and i’m just going to let out an agonized scream so horrible that they immediately change their mind

gaius: i’m not wearing glasses anymore i’ve seen enough

morgause: sorry my battery’s on 96% i gtg

morgause: you hate me? wow you think you’re hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so you can go grab a number and wait your turn

morgana: don’t ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean i’m ignoring like 8 people right now but still ???

morgana: shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

morgana: the concept of physical beauty is a scam unless you’re calling me cute in which case it is valid, actually

merlin: oh, so when other people go outside it’s “good for their health” and “highly recommended”, it’s only when i do it that it’s a “containment breach” and a “high-level threat to public safety and security”, huh?

gwaine: a charming photo of young john mulaney, seemingly celebrating the kennedy assassination

merlin: princess diana wasn’t john mulaney’s first kill

morgause: hate when i got out in public and the public is there

morgana: it seems the public is no longer in the public

morgause: i’ve won...but at what cost?

morgana: girls will see a chance to commit arson and be like “sorry, i have to take this”

morgause: girls will see a building that’s not on fire and say “is anyone gonna burn that” and not wait for an answer

#puff does things #long post

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sirene312 · 5 years ago

Text

oh GOD guys…. You have no idea the crusade i had to went through just to be sitting here, with my dear computer working again, and enjoying the joy of 1.9 Mbps internet connection speed. First thing on the front page of my dash was three shitposts on a row, new niche memes, and good ‘ol fandom drama. god how I missed this hell site.

In case anyone wants to know what happened, I will put behind a ‘read more’ the story of a missing computer part that quickly become a detective mission, that dragged me unwillingly into the wild ride I didn’t signed for when pressing ‘buy’ on an online store.

TL;DR at the end bc this is very long. English is not my first language so please bear with me!

Okay, some of you may know a bit about me since apparently i don’t have a “dude shut up! Stop oversharing your woes!!!” button on me but hey here are some things to know about me in case you are curious: I live in Venezuela and not having internet is my personality trait, living in my country is very hard, hard like trying to play the Rainbow Road of Mario Kart but you have butter on your hands, your eyes are closed and you are running on the rain while there is a 8.0 earthquake happening. That hard. I work as a freelance graphic designer and make art commissions so me and my family can survive the economic crisis on my country, having internet and a working computer is a really big deal, like literally we eat thanks to it. Now you see how that would led me to spend a whole month chasing and stressing over a stupid part my computer needed.

Back in December, remember last season of “what’s troubling Sirene now?” where i spend almost a month without internet and then yay internet is back! for like two days? well, after Christmas there was a sudden power cut one night and i was on my computer working on a commission but since this is now a common occurrence i didn't think anything of it …until next day when i tried to switch my computer ON it didn't. I tried everything to revive it, grabbing anxiously my hair, walking on circles, and pressing continuously the power button, you know everything, but it was in vain. It’s dead, Jim. As you can imagine i had a breakdown when i realized i won’t be able to work anymore and needed to buy a new power supply since this one was toast…and was without internet friggin again. AGAIN. I survived till now using my crappy phone data but heavy apps hardly load, tumblr/ao3/twitter sometimes loaded if i refreshed them like a madman.

My computer is a tiny model and has a power supply that apparently is made by beavers in Narnia, because is so uncommon that the only stores that sell them are on my Capital city two states away from where i live. Knowing this, there is not other alternative for me but to use a online store and shipping the package here, in theory sounds simple right? a reminder that this is a third world country, where everything is falling apart and barely holding it together with chewing gum and prayers, what are the odds of something going wrong hmm….

Okay, this happened in the week after Christmas and before New Year's Eve, so of course all stores in my country decided to go on vacation and return on January. I impatiently waited for two online stores to be back on business that have the power supply i need, they were physical stores too so i thought i would be safe. i liked one more than the other and, as i told my friends, i felt like a telenovela protagonist that was on a love triangle with two galanes but the hotter one was in coma and the other just had 3 episodes in, meaning that the better rated store was still offline and the other was online but only had like 3 products sold …not very reassuring but i desperately needed to start working again so i went with that one. Big mistake.

Everything started on Tuesday, January 14.

Mercado Libre is a page where people sell things like Amazon, this is where the seller of the power supply was, after you click on buy, you can see the seller info and a chat to talk to them, i wrote but there was not immediate response so i called, i spoke to a woman and she told me to text her on WhatsApp, that should have been my first red flag, if the app had a perfect chat option there why text outside of it??

whatever, i went and text her, asked when would she send the package and she told me “tomorrow” the shipping company she was going to use is called “Zoom” (remember that name bc it will be mentioned a lot) when you send something they give the sender (the store) a tracking number the sender should give YOU in order for the shipping office (Zoom) in your city to give you the package. (this number is important)

this was my first time buying anything online so i didn’t know any of that just vaguely knew how it worked, so i asked her if she the next day would give me the tracking number or the shipping company would call me when my package was on the shipping center? and she told me “both, i will give you the number and they are going to call you” I said perfect, thank you very much and thought ‘hey that went well!’

Unknown to me, for the next 10 days i was going suffer a weird and painful skin reaction on both hands, and man…it was bad (tw graphic description of a skin condition ahead) the skin on the palm of my hands completely fell off, and it burned like i had scraped my hands on the sidewalk and someone was pouring lemon juice on them. Ouch. as you can imagine all my attention was on what was going on with my hands. I still don’t know what could have caused that severe reaction.

With difficulty texted the woman on Monday 20 i asked again for the tracking number but she said “i’m waiting for the bike delivery guy to give me the number but your package was sent” so she -the store seller- dont go personally to Zoom to send the packages and some else does, i tell the woman again to give me the number as soon as she has it, bc Zoom has an app you can check your package rute and status with that number, she said “okey amiga”.

That week, i could barely lift a fork i was suffering from whatever it was that happened to my hands until my mom found an Aloe Vera plant and i started to rub that gooey, viscose gel thingy on my hands and was slowly getting better, (seriously guys, Aloe Vera plants are a godsend keep one or 10 at home) by the time i suddenly remembered about the package it was Friday 24 the woman didn’t text me anything like she said would do and i didn’t receive any calls either all week, so friday i text her asking again for the tracking number and oh yes finally she has it! My happiness was short lived because……THE PACKAGE WAS RETURNED.

Something occurred and there was an error on the address or something (I triple checked all my personal info was in order before i gave it to her -thanks anxiety!- so i know it was not on me) i was so furious if only the woman had given me the friggin number sooner that week, i would have realized there was something wrong and would have gone to the Zoom on my city where the package was being held before it was returned to the capital. She told me she would send again my package that Friday BUT Zoom only works mon-fri not weekends. Now I need to wait till monday to receive my thing. great.

Monday 27 rolls in and that week i proceeded to text the woman EVERY SINGLE DAY asking if she had sent my package, i hated being a nuisance texting so much but it was necessary, money is getting short and we need food.

On Wed 29 I even texted her a desperate plea, i told her please i need my power supply to start working again! and you know how she responded? BY LEAVING ME ON SEEN. i called her until she answered and she told me “oh i sent it today” she assured me, in the most unsure voice she could muster, that she totally did it.

So I went the next day to the Zoom office and surprise! it was a lie, she didn’t send anything, nada! again asked her for the new track.num. and she told me “amiga the thing is that …the package has not arrived here. is still in your State.“ [*record scratch*] hmm whAT?

I immediately called Zoom and asked them to tell me where my package is? Where is it!?, it’s still in my city or in the Capital?? So they gave me a number for the returned package to check on the app and…said it arrived at the Capital Fri. 24. Not only that but it was marked as "given to the client” aka the sender.

Now I realize this woman has been lying to me. For a whole week. I text her screenshots of where the package was and she tells me that supposedly the package is not on Zoom there and insists it is here in my State. A friend knows someone that works on Zoom that checks their database and confirms that no, is not here anywhere and that definitely arrived in the Capital. even shows that a man named A. Rodriguez was the one that picked up the package. Who is this man?? what's going on?

here's a meme i sent my friends in the group chat while i was trying not to freak out about all this.

This has become a "she-said, he-said" situation because the woman keeps insisting Zoom is the one at fault about the whereabouts of my missing package but Zoom says Hold it! And slaps continuous evidence that shows the places where the package has been at all times.

Meanwhile I’m like “where the hell is my power supply??? All I want is to work. Why is this happening to me?” ;_;

So far what we know:

Package arrived in my city but was returned to the city of origin (the Capital) on Friday 24.

The following week the store seller lied to me and would everyday promise to send the package again to me. and never did.

On Thursday 30 the woman tells me that the package never arrived from my city and she’s waiting for it to “arrive” but the shipping office tells me the package was returned a week ago on Fri. 24 so it’s impossible that it has not arrived. not for nothing they are called ZOOM they deliver fast.

the app even says “given to the client”, and one thing I know for a fact, is that it is near impossible to pick up a package from there without the friggin tracking number, they won’t even give you info about it without it. so it’s very unlikely that a random person just walked away with it.

so we have two possibilities:

1. Someone from Zoom stole it. Ok, feasible. Corrupt people working on this kind of service in my country steal things of value all the time. still i doubt this was the case, the company seemed really concerned and would try their best to help me find my package giving me all the info i requested, even the name of the person who took it.

2. the store seller lied again and the man who took the package is the same bike delivery guy that transported it there in the first place. That's how they were able to take it from there so easily. She denied knowing anyone named A. Rodriguez but she has lied before so i don’t trust her word. To me, this is the more likely scenario for what happened to the package.

February comes and still I have no idea where is my package and the woman keeps making excuses as to why she “hasn’t found it” she again leaves me on seen after I asked for information, next day I called her non stop because now I’m pissed and i want answers, she finally text me that she will send another power supply since she “couldn’t find the first one” no further explanation whatsoever, and tells me will send it on Friday, but remember that Zoom don’t work on weekends so the new package will be staying on the Zoom office until Monday, my friend tells me that is not good what if the thief works there and steals it again? so I asked the woman to send it on Monday and she tells me that only Tuesdays they send all their stuff to be delivered….now she tells me the store have a specific delivery day? Now?

I’m not happy about waiting for more days but there is nothing i can do about it so February 11 is here and I send the woman a text telling her to take a photo of the receipt with the tracking number so the story of the first package won’t repeat, and guess what? The woman left me on seen!! you don’t know how that blue seen mark got me shook. that stressed me so bad that finally I had enough, my friends encouraged me to cancel the order and ask for a refund, I stopped texting her on WhatsApp and left a ultimatum on the Mercado Libre chat, that way I had proof on that page of the fraud this woman was pulling on me and could get her banned there. I should have done that before but the need to repair my computer blinded me and was what kept me trying so hard to get my power supply. Desperation can drive you to make foolish decisions.

After my ultimatum, the woman changed her tune and was very solicitous, and replied super fast, even said on the chat “let it be noted we are a serious company and always answered all your messages” yes, she said THAT, can you believe the audacity, the nerve? I immediately reply “since you didn’t answer any of my texts yesterday, can’t fault me for expressing here my concern about my purchase.” Then I said very politely but with finality that if she did not send me the photo of the receipt with the tracking number the next day I would not hesitate bitch to ask for a refund. And what do you know? Worked like a charm. The next day the first thing in the morning on my phone was a photo of the receipt.

SO yes this unnecessary long story has an anticlimactic but happy end after all! Next morning I happily went to the Zoom office and after a whole month of countless lies, unanswered texts, blood, sweat, and tears, I picked up mypower supply. Reunited at long last! This happened on February 14. Valentine’s Day. Love -and being persistent af- always wins!

TL;DR I bought online a new power supply, the seller tried to scam me or something bc lied about how my purchase was “lost” saying the shipping company was the culprit. Sending me on a wild goose chase trying to find my package. i had to threaten her with a refund to get her to send me finally my power supply.

#this is why i disappeared for a while #can't believe this drama lasted for a whole month #but im glad its finally over

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olaf-likeswarmhugs · 5 years ago

Text

A Word For Us || Soft

Summary: June 21-22: Olaf comes out to Sindri! And then Sindri starts to learn more about himself too! Good golly gosh, we love kids figuring it out.

@huldufolk-hjarn

June 21, 2020

Olaf [deleted]: hi sindri u can ignore this since ur working but um hi!!

Olaf [deleted]: HI sindri do you have some time to talk about someth

Olaf [deleted]: HI sindri so i was googling

Olaf: 👋 ☃️ 🤗

Sindri: olaffffff

Sindri: hi

Olaf: hi!

Olaf [deleted]: wow ive forgotten how to talk to u like a normal person loooosflkj

Olaf: how's pixie's! is your shift going well? :)

Sindri: it's kinda slow right now

Sindri: im sitting here on a stool drying glasses lol

Sindri: so fun

Sindri: how's your day

Olaf: ah i know you're kidding but i love drying glasses

Olaf: i like the sound the glasses make, the little rubby sound? from the towel

Olaf: squeaky clean!

Sindri: like the squeak

Olaf: yes exactly

Olaf: and then arranging them in rows

Sindri: i had one that wasn't squeaky i should wash it again

Olaf: you should, customers deserve squeaky clean glasses

Sindri: yeah they do

Sindri: i was thinking about making myself one of those sodas we discovered last time

Sindri: like the regular soda water with the grenadine?

Olaf: ooooh

Olaf: yeah thats delicious

Sindri: i think peri might be starting to wonder where all her grenadine is going haha

Olaf: oh well dont have too much now

Sindri: i've had like three

Olaf: hmm that seems like enough

Olaf: though maybe we should get a soda water maker

Olaf: then we could make our own, they sell those you know

Olaf: we can order it online

Olaf: we can soda-fy any drink then, i think it'd be great for parties

Sindri: really?

Sindri: i thought it was a thing only bars had and like also places that make soda obviously

Olaf: no, you can get one for your home! and an espresso machine

Olaf: we should get an espresso machine too

Sindri: we should because then we wouldn't have to spend so much money on coffee

Olaf: well we would still have to buy the coffee for the machine but probably cheaper in the long run!

Olaf: really there are a lot of fun kitchen appliances we could get

Olaf: a waffle maker for example

Olaf: oh i saw a donut pan that was very cool

Olaf: there's a handheld smoothie maker but i think its better to just use the blender so you can make more smoothie

Sindri: i watched a video that showed how many soups you can make when you have a food processor which i think is just a bigger fancier blender but i like soups

Olaf: i saw a special kind of cutting device that slices an apple though into six equal pieces!

Sindri: i think my favorite food is soup

Olaf: soup is very good

Olaf: soups and stews

Sindri: yeah they remind me of home

Sindri: but waffles are good too

Sindri: if we made waffles we could decorate them

Olaf: yes! i love waffles because each hole can have something different

Olaf: like a little presennt

Olaf: likea jellybean, or a peanut

Sindri: you want to put jellybeans on your waffles?

Olaf: well that was just an example but im sure it would taste good

Olaf: i like jellybeans and i like waffles

Sindri: jellybeans get stuck in my teeth

Olaf: sindri i also like you as a friend

Olaf: my best friend

Sindri: i like you as a friend too

Sindri: yeah you're my best friend

Sindri: are you okay?

Olaf: yes

Olaf: i was just doing some googling

Olaf: Google as you know is very useful. It answers almost every single question ive ever had since moving here

Sindri: yeah i love google

Olaf: yeah

Olaf [deleted]: i don't know if ive ever really told you but i think i worry about a lot of things. i dont like talking about it because i dont want everyone to worry about /me/ because then id just worry more about how im worrying everyone else but wow this is nonsense ANYWAY i have been really worried about...myself and feeling like something is wrong with me because

Olaf: i dont know if i ever told you this but for a long time, ive sort of felt something was wrong with me. it started when we began to date, but not because of anything you did, i think that was just the first time i realized i really wasn't like everyone else. at least i didnt feel the way everyone wanted me to feel or expected me to feel. and it was really awful, i just thought i was a big fake the whole time, like a liar almost, and then of course we broke up because i was so bad at it and everything but i still felt that awful feeling anyway. and i just didnt know why and its never gone away so i googled it today and googled and googled and i think i found the thing that explains me better than anything else and i think its important that i tell you what that is and im really nervous!!!!!!! look an emoji 🎈

Sindri [deleted]: we didn't break up because you were bad at anything

Sindri: there are a lot of things i want to say but im going to wait until you say your thing

Sindri: also i love emojis :)

Sindri: 🦆

Olaf: right, they're very comforting 🐭

Sindri: oh and please don't be nervous

Sindri: you can tell me anything

Olaf: im very nervous

Olaf: im even texting u and i know thsi should be an in person conversation ahha

Sindri: i think sometimes texting can make things easier to say

Sindri: it isn't like you're avoiding an in person conversation either because we live together lol

Sindri: im sure we will also talk about whatever it is in person

Olaf: right yes probably

Olaf: okay!

Olaf: so um yeah! humans have a lot of words for things and i think the word that fits me best is aromantic....ta-da!! 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉

Olaf: it means i dont experience romantic attraction. because i never have, never, i dont' know why and i dont like dating like, i dont want to be anyone's boyfriend it makes me feel gross

Olaf: but i do want to be your best friend

Olaf: i was talking to finn and i said something that felt true but also kind of like i was contradicting myself? i dont know, feelings are very confusing but basically i said that you're my right person

Olaf: and i think thats still true even tho i dont want to date you and i dont mean that like i am in love with you or anything because im not and egjaldkf that feels mean to say but im trying to say that i really love you sindri and i never want to date you but you are more special to me than my other friends

Olaf: see it sounds like im contradicting myself

Olaf: also like im rejecting u when u didnt even ask me out so!!! sorry oh frosty

Sindri: i love you too olaf

Sindri: you'll always be my best friend

Sindri: always no matter what

Sindri: you're my right person too and i think i kind of get it

Sindri: not completely but i want to learn and i will look up that word but i don't think you're mean or fake or anything like that

Olaf: are you sure because i just read over those texts and it felt mean

Sindri: i don't feel insulted or rejected really

Olaf: I just want you to know it isnt you

Olaf: i used to think i was just rejecting you or something but the idea of dating anyone really is gross for me. like i dont want to ever stop being your roommate though iknow we probably will stop eventually

Sindri: im kind of sad you felt like a fake and a liar though

Sindri: why would we stop

Sindri: i don't want to stop being your roommate ever either

Olaf: well if you ever enter into a promise with someone

Olaf: you know, if you fall in love

Olaf: i probably wont be yoru roommate then. which is okay!

Sindri: but you're my right person

Sindri: when we were apart i was really sad a lot because i missed you

Sindri: and now that you're here im happy a lot of the time

Sindri: i don't want to be somewhere you aren't that sounds stupid to me

Olaf: i dont either. though we wouldnt be far or anything i mean if we stay here in swynlake we'd probably still be in the same town. i just dont want you to... um...not move on? I dont know if thats what you're doing idk sorry i feel like im making a lot of assumptions right now

Olaf: i dont want to hold you back if you fall in love with someone else

Olaf: thats all

Sindri: can i ask u a question

Olaf: yes

Sindri: is it okay if im a little bit in love with you? i mean..i'm not saying i want to date you or be your boyfriend because i don't want to do anything you don't want to do and i want us to be us and honestly im not even sure what being in lvoe is i guess except that i like you most and i like everything we do and that's the way i know how to say that

Sindri: i just say that with like

Sindri: zero expectations from it except you just being my friend for as long as you want to be

Sindri: sorry

Sindri: i probably shouldn't have said that

Sindri: i hope it didn't make you feel gross

Olaf: it only makes me upset if i think about somehow letting you down which i think is sort of my problem not your problem, which i realized recently too

Olaf: i just worry about a lot of things sindri

Olaf: i worry more than you might think i worry haha, i just worry that one day you'll decide that being my best friend isnt enough for you

Sindri: i will never decide that

Sindri: i love you as a person way more than i am "in love" with you which the more i think about it is a stupid concept anyway like what does it even mean

Sindri: when i say it it just means you are my favorite person

Olaf: i mean i mean that too but im not in love with you

Olaf: i dont know bc i dont feel it

Olaf: so maybe what you feel is or isnt love...i dunno sometimes i think romance is a game people play ahha i dunno

Sindri: i don't know how people date people they don't really know

Olaf: well i dont get what makes it a date

Sindri: ....wow

Sindri: me either

Olaf: because i could go out with lots of strangers and get to know them but i wouldnt call it dates id just call it...uh...getting to know a new friend haha

Olaf: like you went on dates with nemo when you moved here if u think about it

Olaf: except you didnt

Olaf: i dont know

Sindri: yeah

Olaf: i guess if people want to kiss at the end

Sindri: yeah maybe

Olaf: i just dont want you to lie to me

Olaf: like i did sort of lie to you for a little sindri and i am so sorry i did but i dont want to lie anymore so if you say that you're in love thats okay it is

Sindri: yeah i think maybe being honest about feelings is a really good idea for us

Sindri: because i don't want you to feel uncomfortable ever

Olaf: and i really dont want to hurt you

Sindri: i don't think you will but i will let you know if it ever happens

Sindri: im being really honest when i tell you that i only want what you want i will never feel like i'm missing out as long as you are my best friend okay

Sindri: i don't want dates and a boyfriend i don't feel like im missing out on that stuff

Sindri: i mean i guess i could theoretically want it but i don't miss it

Sindri: i feel complete without it

Olaf: okay. im gonna work really hard to believe that

Olaf: it might take me some time but thats because i think i still dont feel uh... enough i guess

Olaf: but we promised we wouldnt lie to each other so if you tell me thast what you want i believe you

Sindri: also i know it's not my place to say but you are enough i promise you are so great and anyone who knows you is lucky to have you in their lives. i'm so lucky you are my best friend olaf.

Olaf: well i dunno why you wouldnt think its your place to say as my best friend you should compliment me thank you x3

Olaf: but i know you mean that

Olaf: and im lucky too

Sindri: thank you for telling me all this stuff

Olaf: thank you for listening

Olaf: and not hating me haha

Sindri: lol peri might hate me because i took a long break oops

Sindri: but i'll see you in a couple hours okay?

Sindri: i'm going to give you the best hug ever!

Sindri: it'll be almost like an olaf hug

Sindri: maybe

Olaf: oh oops

Sindri: idk i'll try

Olaf: haha im sure it will be even better than an olaf hug

Olaf: it will be a sindri hug ^.^

Sindri: :)

Olaf: we can maybe talk more when you come home too, if you want

Sindri: okay

Sindri: i think i'm going to look stuff up too when i'm drying glasses

Sindri: just so im prepared

Olaf: yeah! you can ask me questions

Olaf: though im still learning too haha

June 22, 2020

Olaf: hi sindri, i found more words!

Sindri: haha yeah?

Olaf: yeah xPPP

Olaf: there are lots of fun ones humans have a great sense of humour

Olaf: like wtfromantic ahha that made me laugh

Sindri: what does that mean

Olaf: WELL

Olaf: "a romantic orientation in the aromantic spectrum that describes people who cannot differentiate platonic from romantic attraction, cannot define romantic attraction and therefore aren't sure if they experience it"

Olaf: im glad there's a word for it and that word isnt stupid haha

Sindri: oh hey i like that one

Sindri: i think that one makes a lot of sense

Sindri: i've been thinking about like

Sindri: the line or whatever and it feels really arbitrary to me

Sindri: like what makes something a date? or not a date? you know

Olaf: exactly!!!!

Olaf: tho ive never felt any um, i dunno anything different for anyone so

Sindri: oh like where you want to "date" them

Olaf: right or like

Olaf: butterflies

Olaf: people talk about butterflies and i never get them for other people. i get flutters for other things

Olaf: like when im excited for an event you know?

Sindri: yeah

Sindri: i've been looking at stuff too

Olaf: oh have u also found words i have a list of words here but you can go next if you want

Sindri: no i want to know what your words are first

Olaf: well this next one is fun, it's squish

Olaf: guess what that means

Sindri: is it like a crush

Sindri: it sounds nicer than a crush lol

Olaf: yeah!

Olaf: its wanting to be friends with someone i guess, like, really badly

Olaf: i actually dont think ive had squishes either haha

Olaf: i mean! i want to be lots of people's friends but

Sindri: oh that's cool

Sindri: wow i love my new words so far

Sindri: squish is just a really cute one

Olaf: yeah i think its a very cute word x3

Olaf: There's also aesthetic attraction! which just means liking how someone looks, which is different than romantic or sexual attraction

Sindri: i found that one too

Sindri: i've been trying to figure myself out actually

Sindri: and that one was something i think i relate to a lot

Olaf: oooh wow im glad these words are helping you too

Olaf: yes i think i definitely understand aesthetic attraction.

Olaf: i actually think i might be asexual too? which is pretty crazy because i like sex but apparently thats not mutually exclusive!

Olaf: people shoudl really teach a class on this stuff

Sindri: it was also weird because it made me realize that when people say they are attracted to other people it means they actually want to have sex with them

Sindri: a lot of the time

Olaf: i KNOW

Sindri: that's CRAZY

Olaf: i dont not want to have sex with people? i dont know, i just dont think about it

Olaf: but if i think someone is pretty my first thought isnt oh lets have sex

Sindri: i never mean that when i say someone is attractive like i never look at a person and like want them to YES

Sindri: wow

Olaf: wow frosty!

Olaf: we have that in common haha

Sindri: i'll tell you one of my words

Olaf: yes!

Sindri: demisexual

Olaf: oh i saw that one!

Sindri: it's where you only feel sexual attraction to someone you have an emotional connection to already

Sindri: i think that's me

Olaf: ah that sounds like you

Olaf: what a beautiful sindri word

Sindri: thank you

Olaf: i think i read another word for us

Olaf: did you come across queerplatonic?

Sindri: no

Olaf: oh!

Olaf: its a good one haha

Olaf: i mean i think so

Olaf: its kind of hard to describe exactly im still reading about it but uhhhh okay maybe i'll just link you

Olaf: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Queerplatonic_Relationship

Olaf:it kind of sounds like some promises, you know? though most promises are romantic

Sindri: oh hey

Sindri: wow this really does seem like an us word

Olaf: yeah doesnt it!

Olaf: like how everyone thought we had to be more than friends

Sindri: yeah which is dumb

Sindri: i really like this one

Sindri: this one makes me feel like

Sindri: idk if feels right

Olaf: yeah i dont feel as stupid anymore haha

Olaf: if other people are like us, i mean

Olaf: maybe not exactly like us

Sindri: well it even says there are lots of ways they can be

Sindri: which is cool

Sindri: like if it makes sense to the people in the relationship that's how it is it's about being open and being comfortable

Olaf: yeah each one has different rules apparently

Sindri: i also think it's kind of silly that like friendships are apparently "not as intense" as romantic relationships which i guess is why this exists right

Olaf: yeah i think so

Olaf: though its confusing still because some articles say its asexual and other ones say that there can be sex

Olaf: but that goes back to teh different rules thing

Olaf: i think each one must be like a snowflake

Sindri: yeah i think it is about what the people in them want

Sindri: are we

Sindri: or like

Sindri: i don't know i think maybe if i wanted to define our relationship i might want to use that word

Sindri: which is something we would totally have to talk about

Olaf: i think id like that

Olaf: i just have always wanted to be your best friend forever which sounds so silly and childish but i dunno

Olaf: maybe we dont need all the words for it but maybe we do?

Olaf: or not!

Olaf: haha

Sindri: i want to be your best friend forever too olaf

Sindri: like i mean it

Sindri: i don't ever want to stop being friends with you and when i think about what i want my life to be like you are always in it

Sindri: and maybe having a word would make that easier because we wouldn't feel like we are doing things wrong?

Sindri: even though there isn't a right way

Sindri: but just in terms of other people and maybe feeling pressured to be different? i dont' know

Olaf: i think it would make me feel better about not leading you on or disappointing you and i know you say i dont do those things but it makes me nervous

Sindri: yeah and i would feel better about feeling like i'm accidentally pressuring you

Olaf: yeah

Olaf: we should definitely talk about it

Olaf: there are actually checklists and sheets and stuff hehe its kind of cute

Sindri: aww really?

Olaf: yeah :3

Sindri: when do you want to talk about it

Sindri: do you want to like plan a time

Olaf: oh i was just going to do it whenever you wanted to?

Olaf: if you want we can plan a time

Sindri: i think i would like to talk about it when i see you next so probably tonight haha

Sindri: it feels really good to maybe have a word

Olaf: oh okay! I can print out these worksheets if you want

Olaf: i'll make snacks hehe

Sindri: okay lol i can bring home some of that soup from remys too because we can't just eat SNACKS

Olaf: i do like that soup!

Sindri: good we have a plan then!

#soft #text #soft text #yes i am still posting things a month late #:) would u expect anything less from me

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lovelytonys · 6 years ago

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The Official Lovelytonys Guide to Iron Man Comics

Not to toot my own horn, but I’m about to save some lives. Buckle up.

Six months ago, I was asked for comic recs. I’m posting those recs today. Why so long? Because I couldn’t just make a rec list, no, I’m too extra for that. I had to go and make, to the best of my ability and knowledge, my own entire personal guide to Iron Man comics. I also have a tendency to start projects and not do them. But I did this one! And now I share it with you.

For your assistance, I’m going to link this Comic Book Herald article which is a full Iron Man reading order (LIFESAVER) and has links to amazon to buy the collections & arcs being talked about if you are so inclined.

You can find comics on amazon, ebay, the marvel website or Marvel Digital Comics Store (you can buy digital versions of comics), or just find a local comic shop and see what they have. You can easily find any comic you want free to read online, but the websites are a little shady. I’ll leave it to your discretion.

Disclaimer: Remember that these are all my personal opinions. Often, they will not line up with popular opinions. You might really like stuff that I didn’t care for. You might dislike my favorites. You might agree with my opinions. If any comic fans read this and are offended by any of my opinions, please don’t be!! Opinions on comics are SO subjective, just find out what you like and stick to it. I just figured I’d lend my own personal helping hand for you get started, because doing so can be intimidating.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, let’s begin under the cut! (If you are on mobile...I am so, so sorry about this)

Short version (the recommendation-y part)

Recs because I like them:

Iron Man Volume 3 (1998)- #1-25 (my actual absolute FAVORITE RUN of all time and my number one recommendation. It’s by Kurt Busiek, Roger Stern, and Sean Chen), #26-30, #62-63, #73-78. Iron Man Volume 4 (2005) #1-35. Invincible Iron Man (2008) spanned many years so you should read at least some, and it has many fans, but I am not one of them, so I’m not gonna rec too much. Issues #1-6 and its epilogue, #7, are worth a read and the arc spanning #8-19 is probably the best from the era, I would say that I enjoyed that arc. Next is Brian Michael Bendis’ stuff, which has a pretty bad rep and while I don’t hate it as much as others do, I wouldn’t say I love it. It is, however, the most recent completed run & important stuff happens, and there’s some good stuff here and there, so yeah. I don’t really have any specific recs from here...just read the whole thing and see what you get out of it or scroll down to the guide section and see the highlights I picked out. Invincible Iron Man (2015) #1-25, and Invincible Iron Man (2016) #1-600 (they changed the numbering halfway through, it’s not 600 issues it’s only I think 19).

Recs because important stuff happens even if I don’t necessarily like them:

Civil War I (occurs during the Iron Man run starting in 2005), Civil War II (occurs during Brian Michael Bendis era), Iron Man (2012) #9-17 “The Secret Origin of Tony Stark.”

Long version (the guide-y part)

First off, I’m going to tell you that my suggested starting points are Invincible Iron Man (1998) which was my starting point, and Invincible Iron Man (2005). Much more on those below.

I haven’t read Mr. Stark’s classic adventures yet because there’s a daunting number of them and I still need to find a starting point, so we’re gonna start with...

Volume 3 (1998):

Okay I have SO MUCH to say here because I’d die for this volume!! It’s considered by many to be nothing special but there’s a lot to appreciate if you’re a fan of Tony in the way that many are here on tumblr- caring about character development & character moments first and foremost. I’ll break down my favorites for ya

#1- does a good job of setting the tone for Tony and this era of Invincible Iron Man. Some nice Tony character details are in there. Volume 3 is started with Kurt Busiek writing (later joined by Roger Stern) and Sean Chen on pencils. I LOVED this team, this is my FAVORITE run of Iron Man that I’ve read, PLEASE read all 25 issues. I thought Busiek understood Tony really well and I just loved the way Chen drew Tony (and everything else), and their first issue is surprisingly enjoyable for mostly existing to set the groundwork for a fresh start.

#4-5- I think this is where the run starts to kick into gear. Tony’s on-and-off girlfriend for the era, Rumiko, is introduced and she’s fun (but as the years went on, deserved much better writing). Tony kicks some butt & is a hero.

#6- an awesome Iron Man/Black Widow team up. It shows a really nice friendship between Tony & Nat. Also, Nat kicks butt & it’s great

I’m recommending every issue that builds Tony’s relationship with Carol Danvers (at this time, she was Warbird, not Captain Marvel). #7, #11-12, #18, #19, #21, and #23-25. Their storyline details Tony’s endeavors to help Carol overcome alcoholism. At least read the Carol parts of the issues she’s only in a few panels of. Major highlight of the Iron Man comics I’ve read. Also- knowing this background will definitely make Civil War II have more weight

#8-12- Tony gets the actual daylights beaten out of him and then some, leading into a compelling 2-issue Mandarin arc, this then leads into an interesting 2-issue team up with Warbird that gives us an answer as to why his injuries were so bad. It hurts but it’s good

#13- an actually really compelling single-issue story that involves some trippy, creepy mind control stuff and takes a look into Tony’s head- specifically questioning whether or not being Iron Man has become an addiction. You can’t tell yet but I’m trying my hardest to not recommend every single issue

#26-30- The Mask in the Iron Man arc. This is the first issue without Busiek writing- Joe Quesada steps in and it’s good stuff. It’s also Sean Chen’s last arc. It starts with Tony punching a guy in the face to protect Rumiko but getting punched back and having to wear a nose splint- it’s really cute. Then Tony and Ru run into relationship problems. Then the Iron Man armor becomes sentient, basically falls in love with Tony, and kidnaps him on a remote island. Wait-what? Yeah, it’s really weird in hindsight, but while you’re reading it, it sure does pull you in. One of the biggest standouts of the whole era and something of an instant classic. Also, the first few pages of #31 give you a little aftermath.

#37-40- this wasn’t my favorite arc but I’m recommending it just because of how wild it ends up being. These were the days when IIM wasn’t afraid to have a big imagination. And I mean big, like, who thought of this? Well, Frank Tieri is writing at this point (he’s okay, not my favorite of the volume), and Alitha Martinez & Paul Ryan are on pencils (it’s fine, but you’ll miss Sean Chen) (you’ll always miss Sean Chen). Also, a major player in this arc is Tiberius Stone so maybe read it to know who he is.

#50- “Tinman”. Issue 50 was meant to be a place for new readers to jump in. Mike Grell & Michael Ryan are at the reigns as writer and artist. Grell’s characterization was fairly solid, my favorite next to Busiek in this era. His version of Tony is more in touch with his emotions, I guess, than some like to characterize him. Sometimes he gets aggressive when he’s angry but there’s also a lot of really sweet moments and they portray him as doing a lot of good, like funding a rehab/safehouse for kids on the street. Grell’s stories are generally grittier and more violent but Tony himself doesn’t really take a dark turn. Issue #50 has both action and a VERY SOFT Tony, definitely recommend it

#53-55- “Book of the Ten Rings”. Again, it’s grittier than the stuff that came before it, but it’s good. Once the main story wraps up, something really important happens at the end. Also, it’s important to note here for people that weren’t previously into comics that at this point, Pepper and Happy are a thing, not Pepper and Tony as seen in the MCU

#59-61- “In Shining Armor”. Tony travels back to Medieval times and it’s not exactly a good time for him but it’s a wild time for us. Gotta love a good old fashioned time travel arc

#62-63- “You Can’t Always Get”. Oh god PLEASE read this one, if you only listen to one of my post-Busiek & Chen recs this is the one, the Tony content is so precious

#73-78- “The Best Defense”. The arc detailing Tony’s journey to becoming Secretary of Defense because yes, that happened. A very interesting concept to watch Tony go through and one of the most notable stories in this era.

Volume 4 (2005):

This is the last of what I consider the Really Good Stuff (except for Civil War, but we’ll get there). These comics defined Tony Stark as we know him today, and you’ll notice that MCU Tony was definitely influenced by them. If you’re starting here, it’ll be Iron Man as you basically already know it. If you’re coming here off of Volume 3, then you’ll notice the tone of not just the stories but of Tony himself get darker. For whatever reason, writers looked at Tony and said “let’s find ways to bring his morals into question bc that’s Interesting!” It’s not bad (the Iron Man title, that is- Civil War is bad) but it doesn’t really reflect what came before it, I guess. I’m recommending all 35 issues bc why not but I’ll break it down for ya & make sure to point out my favorites

#1-6- “Extremis”. A must read. One of the most iconic Iron Man stories in 21st century comic history. It’s on everyone’s list. You are, as an Iron Man fan looking to get into IM comics, legally obligated to read this. This would also be the arc where I believe the MCU looked for inspiration for Tony characterization. Also Extremis obviously ended up in the MCU but it’s like way different in the MCU than in the source material

#7-12- “Execute Program”- Basically, Tony is screwed up post-Extremis. Poor guy. Please read this. Directly leads to Civil War…

Civil War (2006) #1-7- Ugh. So. Civil War. In my personal opinion- not a fan. I actually like the movie MUCH better and imo the movie is the way this should have been written. Unfortunately, you’ve gotta read it because it’s an important event. You’ll see people calling it “Tony Stark characterization murder” and THAT’S VALID. Like. Tony suddenly became...a villain?? literally the worst?? under the poorly written guise of “just doing what I have to do” but the stuff that happens….it just can’t be explained with “doing what I have to do”. Honestly it reads like the writers just wanted to pit Tony against Steve and didn’t care about keeping him in character. Tony basically had to be turned into a villain to make the story work because In-Character Tony would not have fit their needs. It sucks and I don’t want to recommend it but you have to read it because it affects so much that comes after it.

THE ONLY CIVIL WAR ANYTHING YOU SHOULD SERIOUSLY CONSIDER are tie ins and oneshots and I will tell you a couple

Invincible Iron Man #13-14- IIM’s CW tie ins. Issue 13 comes after CW #2, issue 14 after CW #5. Read these

Captain America/Iron Man: Casualties of War- oneshot to be read after Civil War #4. Tony offers Steve the chance to try and talk it out. Both explain their positions and a lot of comic history between them is brought up.

Civil War: The Confession: SO after CW, SPOILER SPOILER poor Steve is assassinated in Captain America #25 (it’s actually more wild than that bc superheroes don’t just die but whatever) and this is a oneshot with two halves, the first takes place after Steve is dead and is Tony-centric and I LITERALLY CRIED and the second takes place when Steve is imprisoned before he is killed. PLEASE read this

There’s more tie ins involving Tony that you should read but I’m sick of talking abt CW

BACK TO THE IRON MAN SOLO TITLE

Sooooo the title now changes from Invincible Iron Man to Iron Man: Director of SHIELD but it’s the same book

#15-18- It’s Tony’s first story arc as Director and it ends up being kind of wild actually

#21-28- ‘Haunted’. Starts out as a sort of murder mystery thing, spirals into something much bigger. Also, poor Tony is so screwed up in the head but what’s new. Definitely read this one

#29-32- ‘With Iron Hands’. Basically, an entire arc of Tony feeling guilty about his past?? Pretty much. There’s also a terrorist and a giant weapon and more fun stuff. The last you’ll see of Tony for the volume bc stuff goes down in the Secret Invasion event and War Machine takes over for the last 3 issues of the title. Wish I could be of help in regards to Secret Invasion, but I haven’t actually read it because I haven’t been able to find it. Just, idk, google search the plot of Secret Invasion like I did and you should be able to get by

Invincible Iron Man (2008) AKA Other Volume 4:

Okay lots of comics fans think this is one of the best Iron Man runs in history and I respect their opinions and perhaps you will share them but I’m gonna cut to the chase here: I am not one of those people. Look, I read all 62 issues so I have a fair opinion, and I’m just not a huge fan. Matt Fraction is writing and Salvador Larroca is drawing. In my experience, the stories drag on and it gets to the point where you’re just bored. I think I read the 89 issues of volume 3 faster than I read the 62 issues of this because I was just so bored with it. Also, I’m really not a fan of Larroca’s work on the book. I really disliked the way he drew Tony and the more I looked at it, it almost made me...uncomfortable? Some of his art is kind of gross imo. Plus, I didn’t love Fraction’s Tony characterization. I can’t quite articulate why, it just didn’t sit nicely w me. There were some moments where I thought “oh yeah that’s Correct” but many other moments where I thought “No Why Did You Write That”. He was good at writing some wild and intricate stories but sometimes I felt that character got lost in the midst of the action. That’s just me though, you might really like Fraction’s run, and there is some stuff worth pointing out.

#1-6- ‘The Five Nightmares’. A fairly iconic modern Iron Man story. Tony’s worst nightmare comes true when the son of Obadiah Stane uses Stark tech to cause absolutely horrific acts of terrorism. It gets pretty serious, but it sets the groundwork for this entire era of Iron Man. As far as Fraction stories go for me, it’s one of the better ones.

#7- Five Nightmares Epilogue. A team-up of sorts with Spider-Man that I actually genuinely think you should read, especially for the ending (and because Peter & Tony clearly wish they could be buddies again in this post-Civil War world).

#8-19- Okay it’s really long but I remember it stood out to me, all I remember is that it’s basically Tony Stark Brain Annihilation over the course of 12 issues and it hurts like heecckkk. Actually I’m gonna say definitely read this one. Also Rescue happens and that’s A Thing you should know about. Stuff gets fixed in the next arc, #20-24, but it’s not worth recommending imo so don’t read this if you’re gonna read it but if you’re not just know that SPOILER SPOILER Tony is fine except he accidentally erased Civil War from his memory (god I wish I could do that). SPOILER OVER

I think I’m gonna end it there for Fraction issues of interest. There’s probably more in there I should be recommending but I just. Can’t be bothered to comb through Fraction’s volume sorryyyyy I’m just not a fan

Iron Man (2012):

So this run is by Kieron Gillen and I don’t really want to recommend anything from it. I didn’t love it as a whole. Gillen laid way too heavily into the idea of “Tony Stark is a walking ego”. The stories were kind of interesting in theory but I thought the execution was mediocre for some reason. Although, not necessarily the art but specifically the coloring was nice- very vibrant. The actual art was by Greg Land who comic fans really seem to hate. I didn’t think his work on this was too bad idk. Again I don’t really want to recommend anything so there’s only one thing I’m putting on here and it’s:

#9-17- “The Secret Origin of Tony Stark”. So here’s the thing. Kieron Gillen said to himself “I need to do something that turns Tony Stark’s identity on its head. I need to redefine him”. And he actually kind of succeeded in that. And it’s actually annoying and it actually feels like something that should be retconned…. but hasn’t been?? And since it hasn’t been, it’s going to be important going forward so you should probably know about it. You could also just google it.

Invincible Iron (2015) by Man-Brian Michael Bendis

Yes, the infamous BMB. So, what’s the truth about his run on Iron Man? Is the amount of hate warranted? Well…that’ll be for you to decide. Personally, I think it was generally...meh. Not necessarily terrible just. Meh. Many fanboys act like this run is the bane of their existence and I don’t think I dislike it to that extent at all. I mean, it gets boring after a while, but the good moments are really enjoyable and I think it’s worth reading. Bendis’ characterization was sometimes weird because it felt notably inconsistent. However, the moments when he nailed it, he really did nail it. His Tony is a bit of a dork, a bit of a hot mess, a little vulnerable, and the moments when that’s at the forefront are great. There’s also some notable stuff going on here- Civil War 2 falls under this era (I hate it less than the first one but Marvel could do 50 Civil War events and I will probably not like any of them), and so does Riri Williams (who I love, just to get that opinion over with). Finding recs for this era is kind of weird for me because the things that stood out were almost never actual issues or stories, but rather specific character moments, so like, the volume is only 14 issues so tbh you can just trudge through them all and savor the good moments, but I’ll try to pull some recs out for ya

#2, #3- just for some character moments. These two are a part of a larger arc so it might be a little confusing to read them on their own but who cares

#4, #5- Tony fights ninjas and visits kids at a hospital and MJ Watson & Doctor Strange make appearances so it’s kinda cool idk

#9-11- only because you meet Miss Riri Williams, the other parts won’t make sense since it’s in the middle of an arc but eh. Honestly the actual story didn’t strike me as being very special so like unless you’re into it you can just skim for the parts that Riri is in since she’ll be important later

Aaaand CIVIL WAR 2

Civil War II #0-8- okay I don’t dislike it as strongly as I dislike the first CW but I still?? Don’t like it?? Like at all? But something really important to Tony’s stories happens at the end and Tony is one of the main characters in the event so like. You should read it. The main problem I remember is that the pace felt so slow. This event is Iron Man vs Captain Marvel which kinda hurt me bc of how much I loved them from 1998’s volume but it’s fine!! They never address their past in the actual event but there’s a tie-in that does so that’s good I guess. Just get through it idk what to tell you

Back to Invincible Iron Man

#12, #13, #14- tie-ins to Civil War II. #12 and #13 I think come after CW2 #2?? Maybe?? And I think #14 comes after CW2 #6?? Anyway #14 actually acknowledges Tony & Carol’s past so you should give that a read while going through the event.

Invincible Iron Man (2016)

Sooo some Serious Stuff happened in Civil War II that’s going to have an effect that lasts a while. I don’t wanna spoil it, though. When you do get to the end of CW2, you can rest assured that Tony will still have a major presence as a character in this title, but Riri Williams takes the spotlight. Opinions on her are mixed, I personally love her. This, like its 2015 sister, can honestly just be read all the way through, it’s only 19 issues, but I’ll try to find stuff. Also, Tony & Riri’s banter is ALWAYS golden so just read to enjoy it tbh. On we go!

#1, #2- gives you the background on Riri now that she’s taking center stage. She’s just so darn endearing.

#11- It’s basically an issue about everyone reflecting on how Tony is a good person and different from how the public perceives him. He holds orphaned babies from around the world. It’s good stuff.

#593-600- the numbering changed, there’s obviously not actually 600 issues lol. So yes this is kind of long for an arc, but it’s important because it resolves what happened to Tony in Civil War 2. I remember getting bored with it after a few issues, like it wasn’t bad I just remember it feeling slow. Idk. It’s important. Just read it.

Stuff that I don’t think is worth your time:

Invincible Iron Man volume 2 (1996)- I think Marvel was doing some kind of reboot or something because Iron Man’s origin was redone as well as The Hulk’s. It’s amazing how a run that was only 13 issues felt like such a large waste of my time. I didn’t think there was anything of note. I basically don’t even remember what happened in it. Also the sexualization of women was so casual and constant on top of the run not being particularly remarkable so yeah don’t waste your time

Superior Iron Man (2015)- I dislike the idea of this so much that I don’t even want to explain it ugh it’s a spin off of an event called Axis that involved some psychic type stuff that altered the personalities of those involved, boosting Tony’s worst qualities and making him evil. Marvel then decided to make a series about it and it’s only 9 issues but wow it’s amazing how hard it can be for me to get through 9 issues. I could barely read it I just so strongly dislike this idea ok so basically Evil Tony creates Extremis 3.0 which is an app that lets a person make themselves physically into the person they wish they were (In the pages of Axis, Tony personally made himself not an alcoholic because that’s not disrespecting an incredibly important character detail and there was one particularly awful panel of him drinking alcohol in front of a crowd of cheering people and saying “I missed you, sweetheart”). He is testing this app on San Francisco and effectively creates two classes of people- the “perfect” people who could access the app and the “imperfect” people who can’t and that goes about as well as you’d think. Then he makes it obscenely expensive to use which also goes about as well as you’d think. And more stuff happens. Here’s the thing. I’m sure many people thought the concept of a villainous Tony Stark was cool, but I just don’t like the implications of it. The way it’s written kind of gives the idea that, with his personality, Tony could easily become a villain. Given that some people already think of Tony Stark as a villain, reading it just made me cringe. And the WORST thing about it is that, while this is a result of Axis, it’s still Tony himself. According to the writers, he has “surrendered to his id and his legendary ego” (god I’m about to gag) after the mind-altering events of Axis brought those things out in him. Despite my qualms, was the book well-written? I will never be able to read it that objectively, so I can’t say. But clearly, as you can see by the size of this here rant (sorry), I dislike the very idea of it enough to put it on my “do not touch” list.

Okay. Wow. I finally did it. Wow. Six months and it’s done.

I am simply the mentor figure in your hero’s journey. As you get used to navigating comics and reading orders, you’ll find it easier to venture out, and there’s so many ways to go. A character crossed over into something you read and you liked them a lot? Look up their reading order. A writer or artist really impressed you? Do a google search and find what else they’ve worked on. There’s a whole world of comics out there. Go have some fun.

I leave you with 3 rules of being a comic fan:

1. No one hates comics more than comic book readers. We’re bitter because we care. You’ll be like a jaded war veteran who writes a thousand word rant about why a certain author’s mischaracterization of your fave offended you personally way faster than you’d think.

2. Follow the trail of what interests you and, while acknowledging what may be widely believed, proudly own your personal opinions.

3. It’s addictive. Embrace it. You start with one issue, and before you know it, you’ve read 200 issues and know 20 years of history on one character in less than a year. That might be how it goes for you. Just go with it.

Happy reading!

#lovelytonys guide to comics #tony stark #iron man #marvel #marvel comics

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juupajaa · 6 years ago

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Hi! 1. What happened with the pancakes? Could you have your coffee? 2. You were kinda struggling last time I came 'round your blog. How are you now? What about your recovery? 3. I just went to see Endgame with my sister and we had chocolate and pop corn and I kinda really want to purge right now because I'm way over my calorie limit. Any advice to deal with it and not make up by starving the next few days? So, thanks a lot and a lot of luck for the rest of your fight. Lots of love, M

Hello! Thanks for coming by again 👍

1. I was tormented by the pancakes all evening >:( When I went to have coffee the pancake party was pretty much over, but they were on the table for a long while. One of the other patients told me to have some but I just kind of brushed it off?? I was pretty upset about the pancakes all evening and I couldn't stop eyeing them but I just am not ready yet. I'm having enough trouble with fruits, let's not mess with pancakes just yet.

2. Healthwise I'm doing pretty good, thanks to all this eating. My doctor raised my allowed activity to two 30min walks outside, but I've yet to go out twice. I'm usually too tired to go again but it's nice to know I have the option. My brain fog is almost gone and my digestive system came back online today. I'm not bloated for the first time since I got here and I'm sososososo happy about that😎 It's been very uncomfortable and I've been feeling so fat bc of a balloon belly but now it's getting so much better!

Mentally I'm still very much stuck. Usually my mornings are alright but by lunch it gets harder and harder to hear anything but disordered thoughts and by my last snack I'm in slow mode and it takes me half an hour to eat one slice of bread. Sometimes it feels so hopeless and recovery so distant but my nurse says I've made a lot of progress from where I started so I guess I'm at least on the right track✌

3. Hmmmmmm for me thinking about my teeth stopped my purges most of the time. I also found that making a conscious decision not to purge helped me, if I did it before I ate. I love this one chocolate bar so fecking much and sometimes I would buy myself one and leave it be until I've convinced myself there's no need to purge it and that I'm allowed to eat it. Usually if you eat something without paying much attention or thought to it, the regret gets so intense that you purge. This doesn't help you right now but maybe in the future try to stop and really think about it and consciously give yourself the permission to eat whatever it is that you're about to eat. Even if it was chocolate, I found it easy to keep it down since I gave that permission with thought and before having a single bite.

How to not restrict tho, I honestly don't know yet. Were it up to me, I'd be restricting right now, but fortunately I'm being taken care of. I've no idea how to stop doing it, especially after the days you've eaten more than usually, but I guess it's just another thing you have to force yourself to do. I find that exercise, or even just walking some extra helps me to eat. I can eat my dinner a bit easier if I've had my walk beforehand. I'm sorry I can't help more with this, I'm still tryna figure it out myself. Feel free to help us out in the notes, peeps!

And lots of love to you too honey! Have a great summer this year❤

#answered #ed talk

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disgrays-on · 6 years ago

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state of grace

Word Count: 4.2k

Pairing: Jason Todd // Reader

Summary: You wonder what you’ve done to deserve this life sometimes, wonder how it’s real, how it’s even possible that you get to wake up to Jason every single morning, so happy and safe and in love and loved.

A/N: god this is probably boring but i just really wanted to write it. had to cut it off bc it was getting too long for my attention span lol this’ll probably look better/make more sense on desktop than on mobile though

The sun pours into the room, flooding it with bright, golden light. Outside, you hear the hustle and bustle of the day, cars as they went by and mild chatter whenever a group of people walk by. You’re still in bed, still in Jason's arms, head propped on his chest and fingers splayed over his steadily beating heart. You breathe the scent of him in, comfortable and familiar and home, letting your eyes fall shut when he nuzzles into you, still half-asleep and drowsy. One of his arms snakes around your waist, keeping you pressed against him almost protectively. You wonder what you’ve done to deserve this life sometimes, wonder how it’s real, how it’s even possible that you get to wake up to Jason every single morning, so happy and safe and in love and loved.

Breakfast is the usual spread, simple and easy. Eggs and different kinds of bread and butter and jam. Tea for you and coffee for Jason. You find comfort in the habit of it all. In seeing Jason’s small smile, the one he reserves for only you, so shy and yet so wondrous and never failing to bring you so much joy. In watching him cook, bare-chested with sweatpants riding low on his hips, even against your better warning. In hearing him hum along quietly to the music playing soothingly from the speakers where he plugged his phone to. He catches you looking sometimes, a glint of mischief in his eyes as they flicker up to meet yours, the smallest hints of a smirk on his face. You try your hardest not to flush under his gaze.

“Talked to dad yesterday.” Jason brings up this morning, eyebrows furrowed and eyes focused on the eggs he’s frying, voice still husky from sleep.

You look up from your laptop, a plaintive hum leaving your lips. Usually, you try not to work at the kitchen table but this time had been an unavoidable case, last minute emails to read and respond to. Jason's back is still against you, one of his hands gripping the handle of the pan, the other holding on to a fork. You take a second to wonder when this could have happened and how you could have missed it. “How is he?”

You can’t see his face but something in him changes, like he’s resigned. He shrugs noncommittally, “He’s alright.”

“You guys aren’t still fighting, are you?” You can still remember how awkward the last family dinner had been, the tension hanging heavily over the dinner table, so thick you could have sliced right through it with a knife. You can still remember how furious Jason had been but at the same time, how lost he had been because he and his dad rarely fought. You can still remember the way he'd clung to you, arms tight around you but still trying to pull you closer.

“No.” He sighs, “It's just- I don’t know. They’re planning on coming over next week.”

“Oh. That’s a bad thing? I thought you missed them.” You sigh when he remains quiet, only the sizzle and hiss of the eggs and the sound of Jason’s soft music filling up the air. “Your dad loves you, you know that? He only wants what’s best for you.”

“I know.” He murmurs, before he shuts off the burner and slides the cooked eggs onto an empty plate. There’s relief in the corners of his eyes and a small smile on his face when he turns to place the plate in front of you. Jason has never really been good with emotions, either receiving or showing them, so you’re not surprised at his sudden change of topic. “Here you go. Better eat up if you don’t want to be late.”

“Thank you.” You beam up at him appreciatively, before shutting your laptop and pushing it aside. He takes the seat across you with a plate similar to yours, the mug of coffee that you had poured for him, still steaming hot, not too far from his reach. Breakfast conversation topics usually range from your plans for the day to weird articles that either of you find on the internet but today, the both of you opt for silence.

“Oh, we’re still on for tomorrow night, right?” You ask afterwards, tilting your head up slightly to meet his eyes. He’s right beside you, insistent on drying the plates that you’ve washed, even though you tell him that he doesn’t need to. You’d actually been really excited for the little date night. A movie and a nice meal, a night when you could forget all your responsibilities for even just a little while and enjoy. Truly, you adore the kids that you work with - and you’d never admit this to them or any of your colleagues - but Jason’s Jason. Nothing could ever possibly beat spending time with him.

“Of course,” He bends down slightly to press a kiss on your temple. There’s heat in his eyes when he looks up to meet yours, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

You roll your eyes, shutting off the tap before flicking the excess water from your hands in his direction, ignoring the twinge in your heart at his burst of laughter.

The little school you work in isn’t too far from the apartment. A few minutes away, past a decently sized park with huge trees and beautiful flowers. You can never go to work without stopping by for a while. You and Jason frequent the place, taking long walks to clear your minds when neither of you can sleep or picnics on bright sunny days. It’s as picturesque as always this morning, clear blue skies and fluffy clouds, the sunlight bathing the landscape, the cool air of the morning filling up your lungs. You spare a few minutes to take in the view before moving on, mentally reminding yourself to bring Jason back for another picnic.

“Can we read this book today?” One of your kids - Little Coraline, your mind supplies, a sweet but shy young girl - ask, peering up at you with shining eyes, a book clutched in her hands. You’d been cleaning up after the last lesson, picking up stray crayons and loose paper. Behind her, a few others look on excitedly. It’s their break time but how could you even say no to their excited little faces? They’re all such a delight, nothing as difficult as some of the students that your colleagues had. They bicker from time to time, but it’s usually over the tiniest matters and they’re easily resolvable.

“Of course,” You smile at the little girl, plopping down to the carpeted floor, “What do you have there?”

“The little red ridin-” Her face scrunches up with effort, mouth twisting into a frown, “Little red hood!”

“The little red riding hood?” You hum as she hands you the book, you don’t remember ever seeing the book in your classroom but the kids brought their own books in from time to time. “Really? You promise you won’t get scared by this one?”

“I won’t!” She giggles, clambering onto your lap as you open the book. The rest of the kids hurry to sit around you, huddling together with sweet grins on their faces.

The rest of the day goes by as quickly as it does whenever you’re with your kids. Jason picks you up at the end of the day, even if you tell him that he doesn’t need to. He’s leaning back against his bike when you first see him, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed thoughtfully. You’re not sure if it’s because of his helmet, but he looks a bit frazzled, hair tousled and form heavy.

“You okay?” You ask him, after he gives you a distracted little kiss.

He nods, finally returning to you, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just work stuff.”

“Okay.” Even after all the years that you’ve been with him, there are still things that he isn’t particularly comfortable with sharing. You’re fine with it, really. Some secrets are better off as secrets. “Well, thank you for taking time out of your very busy day to pick me up.”

He gives you a little squeeze before he hands you your helmet.

Jason’s no longer so preoccupied with whatever it was that happened at his workplace by the time the both of you arrive at a grocery store. He’s enthusiastically telling you about this recipe that he’s been meaning to try as you walk down the frozen food aisle, a dumpling recipe that he found online, fingers intertwined with yours in the pocket of his jacket. The both of you discuss what needs to be bought - fresh ingredients, meat and vegetables and other kitchen necessities - before parting to cover more ground.

When you finally find Jason, all of the items you needed in your arms, Jason’s speaking to a petite old woman with salt and pepper hair, clad in a huge red and blue sweater. You recognise her as one of your neighbours, a few floors below yours, and you’re not surprised that Jason’s so friendly with her. He would never admit it but he had such a soft spot for your elderly neighbours, loved helping them or sitting down for tea with them whenever he could.

“They’re green peas, ma’am.” Jason nods, handing the can back to the old woman.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Her smile is bright, her laughter frail, “Sometimes things just don’t seem right to an old woman like me.”

“Any time.” Jason’s proud smile squeezes at your heart and you have to bite down on your bottom lip to stop yourself from squealing at how adorable he’s being. “Do you need help with your basket?”

“No, I’ll be alright. Thank you, dear.” She gives Jason a few pats on his forearm before she shuffles away, basket and can in hand.

“You’re adorable,” You nudge him slightly after placing all of the items that you’ve picked out into the basket he’s holding. You take a quick moment to see what he’s picked out, a few bottles of seasonings, sesame oil and rice vinegar and fish sauce, the ingredients he needed for his dumplings. You pick out a box of cereal that you’ve never seen him buy before, alarmingly bright in colour and frosted in more sugar than you think is healthy.

“Dick likes those, wanted to try them.” You hear him murmur, and when you look up, his eyes are elsewhere.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Dick?”

“Never mind, it’s nothing.” He shakes his head, “We done?”

This time, at home, you cook alongside Jason. You work on tonight’s dinner, plain old grilled chicken and mashed potatoes while Jason works on his dumplings, hands steady as he pleats his dumplings. You tell him about the silly things your students did today, a young boy and his increasingly ridiculous reasons for not doing his homework, and later in the day, the same one trying to revolt. He chuckles, low and quiet, eyes still focused on the dumpling on his palm, as he begins to tell you about his own day.

“Taste this.” You hold up a spoonful of gravy to his mouth.

There’s a boyish grin on his face after he tastes it, “So good.”

You get dreams sometimes, and it’s always a cycle of the same few.

One, it feels like you’re flying. You feel the rush of the wind against your cheeks, and you hear laughter that isn’t just yours. There’s thrill in your bloodstream, adrenaline fuelling the pump of your heart. Jason’s there too, face pure happiness. But there’s something heavy lodged in your chest, a sadness hanging over your head, almost like there’s an impending doom around the corner.

Two, the both of you are on the ground but you’re surrounded by thugs. Jason’s masked but you know that it’s him. You’re throwing punches and kicks and a quick peek at Jason tells you he’s doing the same. You’re not scared, and it doesn’t seem like Jason’s scared either. The two of you are trading quips, laughing and joking around as if this was something that happened a lot. He tells you that he’s going to finish up first, playful and almost daring you to prove him wrong. You do.

Three, there’s only blood and darkness and Jason’s groans and grunts of pain. You’re gasping and panting for air and you don’t know why, but it doesn’t seem like there’s enough air for you or for him or for anybody. He’s on his back, clutching at his side that’s sliced open and dark blood is pouring out of his wound and you don’t know how you know, but you know that there is no coming back from this. This is the end. You can never shake the panic and you wake up crying every single time. It’s the worst out of the three, you think.

But whenever you wake up from it, Jason’s there. He’s awake and he pulls you back down to his chest, where you can hear the soothing beats of his heart. He curls around you tighter, and he murmurs quiet words to you, comforting and calming. You don’t think to ask him why he’s awake in the first place.

Sometimes, it feels like there are gaps in your memories. You don’t know your family, who or where they are, you ponder as you watch a couple clutching at their child’s hands cross a road. You can tell anyone about a random event that happened a few years ago but you can’t seem to remember what happened before you woke up a few days ago. Sometimes, you look outside and you see darkness, grit and grime and dirt and crime, broken things instead of the peace that you always see and it terrifies you.

At first, you think, maybe it’s you. Maybe there’s something wrong with you.

But there are gaps in your cognition, blurry little slots where memory should be but instead, there is only a void. It's empty, cold and bleak. And you know, you just know, that this isn't possible. That, surely, something should be there. It creates a dissonance within you, a disconnect from the world around you and the one that fills your memories, a thick bold line drawn to separate the two. There's an odd lacking, like the final piece of a puzzle has gone missing but instead of it hiding at the bottom of a box, it's just gone, like it never existed in the first place. And it makes you doubt, makes you so uneasy, makes you think that something's not right. That nothing adds up. That it doesn't feel right.

And you’re not sure why.

Or what to do.

“Hey.” You flinch at Jason’s voice, pulling you out of your little reverie. Water’s still gushing out from the kitchen tap, a pile of dirty dishes still at the bottom of the sink, and you rush to shut it off before turning to Jason.

“Have you seen those books that Bruce gave me?” He asks you, eyes flickering around the room, “I’m pretty sure I left them around here somewhere.”

“Um, no. I-” You furrow your eyebrows, as you take the sight of him in. He looks like how you feel. Lost. Exhausted. Confused at the words that just left his mouth. “Who’s Bruce?”

The feeling is still at the pit of your stomach, discomfort settling in your bones and unease snaking around your heart. It’s slightly cloudy today, dark grey clouds and a dark shadow covering everything. It feels different, like there’s a storm is brewing and there’s this electricity in the air. You bite down on your bottom lip. It just feels different.

“Thanks for your advice, by the way!” Your co-worker smiles at you from across your table. You didn’t even hear her come close. She must have noticed your confusion because she rushes to explain, “Remember the other day when one of my kids got blood on my skirt? Your advice worked! How did you know that the ammonia thing would work?”

“Right.” You gulp, returning her smile with a small one of your own. You don’t remember. You can’t. Your nerves are sharp, jagged glass. “Must have read it online somewhere.”

The date with Jason takes most of your mind off of it, the discomfort slithering away as Jason throws an arm around your shoulder and talks your ears off about a friend at work. The movie is hilarious, a buddy cop adventure turned romcom movie but the both of you spent quite a bit of time making out so you can’t really be too sure. His hands, warm and wandering. His lips, heavy and distracting. You had to put a lot of effort to not just moan out loud. At the end of the movie, he pulls you close to him, hips pressed together, a smirk on his face.

He gives you his jacket a quarter of the way to the restaurant, looks really pleased with himself as you slide it on. It’s huge on you but it makes you feel safe like nothing else ever has. His smile reaches his eyes as you tease him about it, and it’s breathtaking, and gosh, you’re so in love with him. You tell him as much and he tugs you into a kiss almost instantly. He only pulls away after he gives you one final kiss on the tip of your nose.

It’s all well and the feeling of unease doesn’t return until you hear muffled yelling and sounds of a scuffle as the both of you walk past an alleyway. Your first instinct is to turn around, to find the source of the voice and to help but Jason tugs you close and leads you away before you can. You can’t read his face but his lips are pressed in a line and his grip around you is tight. The rest of the walk to the restaurant is spent in silence. (There are flashes. Of the both of you in a similar situation. Except in that one, you’re in the alleyway. And Jason’s masked. And he’s fierce and angry and you can hear bones crack after each punch. You wonder and wonder, and the discomfort slithers back around you.)

Everything goes back to normal when the two of you arrive at the restaurant. Or at least, it seems that way. It’s loud, chatter from all the other patrons and cheery music blasting from the speakers. It’s nothing too fancy but it’s still quite an established restaurant so you settle into your seat quickly. The both of you talk about the movie - 9/10, you’d watch it again - and then move on to random things like the little kitten that you’d seen at the park and Jason’s newest client and their ridiculous demands. About a meal in, the two of you are already laughing and snickering, discomfort and troubles all forgotten, feet tangled underneath the table. He orders a milkshake and you steal it because he teased you about your fascination with him and he deserved it. He orders another one about ten minutes later and he lets you steal that one too.

But the dreams are still there and it’s the same but just ten times worse this time. This time, it just feels all too real. A part of you knows that something’s wrong. Heart pounding, sweating bullets, you sit up. Jason’s not in bed this time to pull you close so you shove away the covers and move to find him sat in the kitchen, a half-empty glass of water in front of him.

“Can’t sleep?” You ask him, taking the seat next to him and leaning your head against him. He lets you, pressing a small kiss before you feel him heave a deep sigh.

“No.”

“Bad dreams?” You press your lips against his shoulder. He rarely ever talks about his dreams or his nightmares but something tells you that tonight would be different.

“Sometimes, it feels like I’m dying while I’m asleep.” He says to you after a stagnant silence and you bite down on your lips to stop yourself from reacting. “And it feels real but I—”

And the thing is, you know exactly what he’s talking about. You wrap your arms around his middle, pressing your face into his shirt. You’re not sure what pushes you to but the words spill past your lips before you can stop them, “You and I…We’re real…right?”

You feel him tense beneath you. You don’t dare to look up, to look at his face and see it flickering like everything around you seem to be doing recently, to look up and see flashes of something else, to look up and see him fading away. You didn’t know what’s happening or why it’s happening or what it means but you just want it all to be alright. You just want it all to be normal again.

He knows too, you think. That something’s not right but neither of you seems to want to admit it. Maybe it’s instinct, maybe you’re crazy but deep down, you know and Jason know that nothing is right. You know that when he’d picked you up that day, when he’d seemed so distracted, it had been him mulling everything over, when everything started to piece together for him. You didn’t know a Dick or a Bruce but he did. And the flashes of dreams are too real to be anything but a memory but it didn’t fit anywhere, like a too-big piece of a puzzle that couldn’t fit anywhere, that belonged to a different puzzle set altogether. The overlaps between your dreams, whenever he tells you about his - the rush of wind, the fighting, the masks - it’s all too much to be a coincidence. Even deeper down, you feel like all of it, this life right now, has always been too good to be true.

“Of course.” He says, voice thin and soft. You’re not completely sure he believes it either.

It all comes crumbling down a few days later, at a coffee shop near your shared apartment, in the middle of another one of yours and Jason’s playful bickering.

“Jason!” You hear someone call out and the sight of him stirs something inside of you. A young man with dark tousled hair, familiar blue eyes and a stature that’s so familiar and yet you still couldn’t quite put your finger on it. There are bags under his eyes, frustration and exasperation in his voice. You know this person. The words you want to say falls away, the conversation faltering.

“Am I supposed to know who you are?” Jason asks, even as the realisation dawns on him and the furrow of his eyebrows smooths out. He knows him. The both of you know him.

Tim.

Dick.

Bruce.

The masks, the fighting, the Red Hood.

And then everything just clicks and suddenly, it feels like the reality you know is falling around you, taking your heart along with it. Your first instinct is to deny everything that he - Tim - is saying as he begins to explain. Because it couldn’t be real, because everything that happened so far had to be real because even if there were moments when you’d been dubious about everything, it had been the greatest moments of your life and it couldn’t not be real. It wasn’t possible. A world where you weren’t actually together with Jason, where you didn’t really live with him or have this perfect domestic life with him where he made you breakfast and picked you up after work and the both of you are happy and safe and in love couldn’t be real.

And yet, it makes perfect sense. With everything that’s been happening, the little moments when your reality seemed to flicker in and out of existence, the emptiness and the dreams and the memories that should be there but aren’t, you realise that it makes the most sense. That being stuck in a weird time pocket, a fantasy alternate world, a different timeline than your original, isn’t so far-fetched. Because deep down, you’d known. And Jason had known.

The memories are quiet as they come back, slow but unforgiving as they crawl back to where they belonged. No matter how much you want it to be true, this world where you were together with Jason, where you lived with him and had this perfect domestic life with him where he made you breakfast and picked you up after work and the both of you were happy and safe and in love wasn’t real. Because in your world, Jason’s birth parents are dead and his relationship with his adopted family is shaky at best and he’d died and sometimes almost dies again when he gets too reckless in the field. Because in your world, there’s pining and heartbreak and blood and tears and pain. Jason isn’t in love with you and the both of you aren’t together and nothing is this simple in the other world.

Your hands tremble in your lap as you hear Tim and Jason discuss how to escape this weird situation that you were in, how to get back to a world where everything is dark and painful, how to get back to a world where you aren’t with Jason and he isn’t with you and it almost breaks you. None of it had been real. None.

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softhaos · 7 years ago

Text

NEIGHBOUR!AU JOSHUA

you are quite sure that joshua doesn’t like you

NO HE IS NOT A BULLY IN CASE YOU’RE WONDERING

but he’s just so,,,,,, calm,,,,,,, and polite,,,,,,,

you’re not t h a t annoying neighbour but you know none of your interests match up

like once you brought him cake bc he just moved in next to you

only to get rejected

“sorry i’m allergic to strawberries”

or the other time when you asked him if he wanted your spare ticket to see that one movie and no not because you wanted to ask him out

it was because all of your friends either refused to watch horror movies or already watched it

guess what

you got rejected,,,,, agAIN

“i already have some plans on that day sorry”

you tried giving him some other things several time because you had no idea what to do with them

also it was just a waste if you threw them away

and every single time you got turned down

at this point you ask yourself why you even bother to be nice

if you could you’d avoid him all the time so you wouldn’t further embarrass yourself

maybe embarrassment is a little heavy

you wanna avoid social awkwardness

because you’ve got literally nOTHinG in common

and you’re not gonna be that person who asks the socially awkward things that make it obvious that you’re a try hard

“so,,,,, the weather’s nice today,,, isn’t in??”

“what do you usually do in your free time?“

“yo what’s your favorite color?”

NOPE FORGET THAT TBH YOU RATHER NOT TALK AT ALL

you’re very sure that jisoo is judging you,,,,, you just know it

he always has the same soft angelic smile on his face whenever you meet

and as much as you’d like to keep your presence away from his

you can’t,,,,,,, it’s impossible

because you’re always out and he’s in his apartment when the timing is the w o r s t

basically,,,,,, you’re not in when the mailman’s over

but coincidentally hONg jiSoO is

so he always take your mail for you

thus you’re forced to knock at his door to get your post

the same scene replays over and over again

“hey,,,,, i’m really really r e a l l y sorry that you had to accept my mail,,,,, again,,,,,, for the tenth time this month,,,,,”

“don’t stress about it! it’s fine!”

and his smile never falters and is so genuine all the time

,,,,,, how tf does he do that

does he ever get annoyed or angry???

or is it an internal thing and he’s the silent judge type of person,,,, you second this

you try to shop less online but fail miserably

in fact you probably spend more money on the internet nowadays

but a n y w a y

you tell yourself that one day you will catch the goddamn mailman who comes at irregular times

and fail miserably again up to the point where you believe that the mailman has something against you

like you wait the whole morning

and then during noon you decide to do a five minute walk to get some toilet paper because you ran out of it

and BOOM THE MAILMAN ARRIVES IN THOSE FIVE MINUTES WHERE YOU’RE ABSENT

cue joshua is at home tho and is your knight in shining armor

you consider making it up to him but on second thought,,,,, it’s better if you didn’t do anything

ofc there’s always the option of downright asking him about his interests

but nah

asking him directly is filed under ‘questions any socially awkward person would ask if they don’t know how to start a conversation’

so you brush off that possibility,,,,, and the only thing left is to actually catch the damn mailman

you try so hard every day,,,,, you have faith that one day you’ll be victorious

and your efforts are not in vain

because one day tHE MAILMAN COMES AND YOU ARE AT HOME

truth be told you act like a five year old in front of the poor dude and he probably thinks you need some help

as in you violently take the package away from him

and then sign the confirmation thing as if it was your first time doing it

once you’re done you immediately slam the door in front of his face

you’re so giddy and excited and so satisfied that you tear the poor box apart

okay that sounded too violent but you don’t waste time unboxing whatever you ordered

when you see the item you are like fINALLY HLDJHK

and it’s even the limited edition one!!!!

“wait what limited what”

the longer you stare at it,,,,, the more you start to ask yourself

when tf did you buy it????

because you clearly cannot remember when you ordered it

no shit sherlock bc you never did

you frantically check the outside of the box and a wide grin is etched on your face once you see the addressee

and the knock on your door comes right on time

it was no other than joshua standing in front of you smiling at you as usual with that soft gaze

“hey y/n i got the notice that you have my mail,,,,,, y/n what are you holding??!?”

“oh hey i accidentally opened your mail i’m sorry pls forgive me bUT WOW SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU BEEN A FAN OF THIS??? I NEVER KNEW THAT,,,, I LOVE THEM TOO!!”

at first he’s baffled and confused but when you start talking about the respective fandom he chimes in and he’s also in his fanboy moment

so you spend talking hours about it and see this as the start of your relationship

you’re both fanatics and even though jisoo is so sweet and composed that’s just his appearance and internally he’s just as wild as you

and he’s such a hardcore stan that you buy him some merch as a present and he’s so grateful and is giddier than ever and vice versa

he starts giving you gifts out of the blue and it perplexes you every time even tho you shouldn’t be surprised

the entire present thing is just so pure and endearing

and pointless tbh because you end up handing each other the same items at times

when it happened the first time that you got each other the same gift you were like

“o h ,,,,, well brb taking my thing back”

“but why tho y/n?? we can match!!!”

and you were like o O O F

you learn to be fine with it and honestly it’s just a cute thing matching with joshua

and no one really notices because the things you buy for each other aren’t clothes,,,,,, yet

one day you find this really cool new shirt and you know jisoo’s gonna love it and look good as hell in it

so without further ado you buy it

turns out that he thought of the same and bought the shirt for YOU

now there’s when you were trying to back off bc whether you like to admit it or not you are whipped for joshua hong

not because of his fanboy antics but also because you truly like him

so you try to turn him down concerning his shirt for you

“shua sorry but yeah no i can’t accept that one”

“,,,,, why tf not?”

“,,,,, i,,,,, uh,, don’t really think it suits me”

“c’mon but we’d be matching!!”

“won’t people see us as a cOuPLE tHEn?!?!”

“i think we make a good couple tho”

wait what did he just say

his own eyes widen at the sudden confession and although jisoo tries to keep his cool you know he’s starting to panic a lil

you on the other hand are perplexed and don’t know what to do,,,, until the words hesitantly come out of your mouth

“well,,,, i wouldn’t mind us being,,, you know,,,, a thing”

“you wouldn’t mind??”

“,,,, ok i pretty much crave us being a couple and having matching things”

“that’s good to know bc i want that too”

ever since that day the presents haven’t stopped and you still live next to each other

but tbh the entire apartment complex thinks you got married bc whenever they see the two of you,, you happen to have matching outfits

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maggicktouched · 3 years ago

Text

Now my dash is fucked up. Fuck me.

But ok, real quick (and I promise writing is coming today) I need to complain about tiktok bc I’m an old person and I don’t have a FB so all my complaining happens here.

Ya know those tumblr posts that go around every year reminding people that bunnies, ducklings, and chicks are live sentient beings and not toys to be bought and discarded at Easter? Well let me expand on that a little.

Stop. Buying. Single. Chickens.

It’s WRONG.

And I don’t even understand why people do it. Currently I have sixteen chickens and I got out of keeping them when I moved, but I had them for several years before that. Do you know how much I pay in feed per month? About 20 dollars. It can be about five bucks higher or lower depending on where I buy from, but in general I go through about a bag of feed a month in the seasons where foliage grow fast (which is most of them in Alabama lol).

It can’t be a money issue. Chickens are cheap pets to keep. And honestly I could stretch that feed budget by a lot if I wasn’t too lazy to ferment feed or make a fodder system. They don’t have any real vet bills. Sadly with chickens you either don’t know there is a problem until it’s too late (because they hide things very well) or you can google their issue and there are TONS of people online willing to give you their knowledge for free. And besides bedding for their coop and food, you aren’t really buying them a lot of stuff.

So why is it that I get on tiktok and see people with a single bantam rooster as a pet? And they think it’s so cute he follows them everywhere and wants to be around them.

It isn’t cute. You’ve taken a deeply social animal that relies on numbers for safety and forced it to see you as a member of the flock. When you end up going to work or out on the town or anywhere that your bird can’t go, it’s going to be unhappy and anxious.

Roosters are---when bred and raised properly---very wonderful pets. I get why people would want one. They are beautiful and funny and outgoing, but most of the traits that make them appealing to you are traits either bred or evolved into the animal to help their flock. Roosters make funny noises to alert their flock or gather up their hens. The best roosters won’t take treats, because they will instantly see its something good and give it to a hen. Good roosters do a little mating dance to entice the hen, which I’ve seen them do to people and they just laugh because they don’t know what the animal is doing. Their entire lives revolve around keeping their flock protected, together, and healthy.

Hens are a bit less considerate seeing as their instincts tell them they need to get whatever they can and as much as they can so that they can lay eggs. But they still require that social connection---that safety in numbers.

I’m far from the gatekeeper of poultry though. I’d love for most people to raise their own birds. More chickens in homes means less need for factory farms that treat their animals abysmally. I don’t want people to not want chickens. They’re fun and easy to keep, and with patience they can be very friendly.

Just... don’t get them alone. You can buy two roosters if there are no hens around. You can buy two hens and they can live very happy lives without a rooster. One extra bird is not going to heavily impact the amount of time or money you spend on them. Do you know how many birds I prepped for when I thought about getting chickens? Seven. And I more than doubled that number at very little expense and labor on my part. I get that maybe you don’t want an entire flock of birds in your house, but I’d argue that chickens aren’t really made for houses either. They like to forage and roam. Most strictly indoor animals struggle with stress from boredom and chickens are no different.

So get chickens. But before you do, get a little coop, and do some research on the living beings you’re bringing into your life. You can still let them inside or hand raise them so they’d rather be in your lap than anywhere else. Chickens will normally accept people as flockmates really easily, you don’t have to force them by taking away all their other options.

Don’t be shitty. Do right by the creatures you bring into your home. By owning a pet you force them to rely on you, which means it is your responsibility to provide the best possible care to those animals.

#psa #ooc #tbd #i probably won't delete it tho lmao #this shit makes me SO mad when I see it

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rosesandruin · 7 years ago

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1-100 for the ask thing

1. What’s your philosophy in life?-If it doesn’t make you happy, it’s not worth it.2. What’s the one thing you would like to change about yourself?-Only one?3. Are you religious or spiritual?-No4. Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?-Introvert5. Which parent are you closer to and why?-My mom, ig. I spend the most time with her.6. What was the best phase in your life?-My bookworm/writer phase7. What was the worst phase in your life?-My “I want to kill myself” phase8. Is what you’re doing now what you always wanted to do growing up?-No9. What makes you feel accomplished?-When I finish a day of work, get a paycheck, or finish all of my homework10. What’s your favorite book/movie of all time and why did it speak to you so much?-My favorite book is “To Kill a Mockingbird.” I don’t really know why11. What is a relationship deal breaker for you?-Ig not being compassionate?12. Are you more into looks or brains?-Idk13. Would you ever take back someone who cheated?-No14. How do you feel about sharing your password with your partner?-I’m okay with that15. When do you think a person is ready for marriage?-??? What kind of question is this?16. What kind of parent do you think you will be?-Better than mine were, I hope17. What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner?-Eh, that wouldn’t happen. I have good taste.18. Who is that one person you can talk to about just anything?-Um…19. Do you usually stay friends with your exes?-Idk, I don’t have any20. Have you ever lost someone close to you?-Yes21. If you are in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone to cheer you up?-Left alone if I’m angry/irritated. Cheered up if I’m sad/depressed/anxious.22. What’s an ideal weekend for you?-Camping23. What do you think of best friends of the opposite sex?-They’re okay?24. Do you judge a book by its cover?-Yeah25. Are you confrontational?-No26. When was the last time you broke someone’s heart?-Never, I hope27. Would you relocate for love?-Yeah, sure28. Did you ever write a journal?-Yeah29. What are you most thankful for?-Umm… my cat30. Do you believe in second chances?-Yeah, depending31. What’s the one thing that people always misunderstand about you?-Probably my mental illnesses32. What is your idea of a perfect vacation?-Going somewhere new33. What did your past relationship teach you?-N/A34. What are your thoughts on online dating or tinder?-Good for them?35. What’s on your bucket list this year?-Get a tattoo36. When have you felt your biggest adrenaline rush?-Um, probably one of the times I was at Cedar Point37. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done and would you do it again?-I was in a smol (safe-ish) backyard demolition derby with my uncles and 10/10 would do again38. If a genie granted you 3 wishes right now, what would you wish for?-I just want a job39. What’s your biggest regret in life?-Not doing more solos in choir in high school, dropping out of band40. What do you think about when you’re by yourself?-Anything and everything41. Does your job make you happy?-What job42. What did you want to be when you were younger?-A vet, a detective, a teacher43. Why did your last relationship end?-N/A45. What’s been your biggest mistake so far in life and what did you learn from it?-I don’t know46. Where is your favorite place in the entire world to go?-Ottawa, I guess. Ottawa’s cool. Or Disney World. It’s magical.47. What are your top five favorite movies?-Lilo and Stitch, Dead Poet’s Society, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink48. What are some of your favorite songs?-Riptide – Vance Joy; She Had the World – Panic!; Won’t Back Down – Tom Petty; Hurt – Johnny Cash49. What qualities do you admire about your parents?-My mom never gave up, and she works every day to improve herself.50. How would you describe your best friend?-My what51. What’s your favorite hobby to do alone?-Sing, ig52. What’s something you can’t go a day without doing?-Um. Sleep53. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done lately?-I spontaneously went to visit my dad, but that was for a funeral. So.54. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for love?-I don’t think I’ve ever done anything like that.55. What’s your biggest pet peeve?-When people won’t leave me alone when I want to be.56. Why do you think you’re still single?-I’m… not…57. What accomplishment are you most proud of?-Struggling through geometry class all year but getting 100% on the exam (only one of two to do so.) And also getting in to all of the colleges I applied to.58. What is one dream you have yet to accomplish?-Moving out.59. What is your greatest fear?-Never being able to transition the way I want.60. What are three things you value most about a person?-Compassion, humor, determination61. Who are five people you are closest with?@stay-strange-kids , @dgrayfee , @floridkore , @hedphoneson , and my stepsister62. What is the greatest struggle you’ve overcome?-High school.63. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?-Spain?64. What’s the most exciting thing that’s happened this past year?-Got a girlfriend65. What’s your favorite beer?-Ew, I don’t drink beer bc I have taste buds66. What’s one thing that bothers you most about the world today?-Hate67. Who are you closer with your mom or your dad?-Didn’t we go through this? My mom68. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?-We went through this, too?69. If you could change one thing about the world what would it be?-Less greed, more compassion70. Who was your favorite teacher and why?-It was my 6th grade English teacher for a while, bc she always encouraged my reading and writing. But in high school, it was one of the special ed teachers. She was amazing and did so much for me.71. What sport did you fall in love with?-None72. What is the weirdest thing about you?-My personality.73. What was your longest relationship?-n/a74. What would your best friend say is your best quality?-My what?75. Who is your favorite historical figure?-Obama76. What made you choose the college you went to?-The location and atmosphere77. If you could tell your former self one thing right now what would it be?-It gets better. Do your homework.78. What food could you not live without?-Tacos79. Dogs or Cats?-Don’t pit my babies against each other like this.80. What’s closest you’ve ever come to being arrested?-Um. Never?81. What was your best birthday?-…I can’t think of one.82. What’s one thing you wish you knew how to do?-Play guitar and piano83. Where’s one place you’d like to go that you haven’t been?-Spain84. What was the last book you read? And When?-I can’t remember85. Where do you usually get your news?-Idk86. What are some of your own personal goals in the next 5 years?-Start hrt, get top surgery, buy a car, move out, graduate87. What would you consider your greatest accomplishment so far?-wE WEnT oVeR tHIS88. If you could get away with anything that you do?-Rob a bank89. Who is your greatest hero?-I don’t have one90. What’s the greatest risk you’ve ever taken?-Speeding while driving even tho I don’t have my license91. Why are we here?-WHY ARE WHO WHERE, WHAT, DON’T DO THIS92. If heaven is real and you died tomorrow, would you get in?-I hope not.93. Do you believe in fate?-Yeah94. How do you think people see you?-With their eyes, I assume?95. If you had the ability to erase something that you did in the past, whatwould it be?-There was this one time I hit my sister… It was bad…96. What song makes you unconditionally happy?-Um… idk97. If you could have anybody else’s life, who’s would you take?-No one’s. My life is my own.98. What fictional character do you most relate to?-None99. If I asked you at age 5 what you wanted to be when you grew up, what would you say?-A veterinarian100. What is your biggest irrational fear?-Being stuck here my whole life. But I don’t think that’s completely irrational?

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