#ofc I have my wish list

[byler-alarmist]

Is it sad that I'm more excited for what songs they're going to use in S5 than like, anything else?

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

Dangerously close to plotting a real Skyrim/Lord of the Rings crossover for after Keeping Count because my secret desire for Leara/Glorfindel has reared its head again

Shhh Don't question it.

[euthymiya]

I change my vision depending on the selfship tbh

[todayisafridaynight]

i feel like the hello kitty doesnt do xanax post whenever i check the minedai tag on ao3 what is the obsession with piss im in agony

why did you just read my mind jesus fucking christ get out of my head youre so right tho this is so accurate and i feel this every day of my life and i feel insane and like im the one perceiving them weirdly so thank you anon for letting me know that im normal

[bloodibambiidoll]

Hiiii bb🥺 can I pretty pls request rafe x bitchy!reader with the prompts “Gonna fuck you until the only word you remember is my name.” And “Oh, I can think of many ways to shut you up right now.”. Maybe this is their first time together and she’s being all smug and he shows just what he’s capable of? Love you doll🩷

Hi, my love!! But ofc!! I went with Frat!Rafe for this one and reader is implied to be an alternative sorority girl. Enemies to lovers, flirty banter, face fucking, bondage, cum swallowing, fingering, overstimulation, daddy kink, choking, biting, breeding kink, unprotected sex. 18+!!!!

“We are never going to happen, Cameron, give it up.” You scoff as you look down at your black and red perfectly, pointed nails.

“I’m not gonna give up until you admit I’m right.” Rafe smirks as he moves in closer to you. There’s only a few inches between you and his large frame and your back is up against the wall. He tracked you down at yet another party and stopped you in the hall. Like a moth to flame, he always seems to find you. “I know you want me.”

“No, that’s just what you tell yourself so you can justify this obsession you have with me.” You glance up at him long enough to throw him a glare before returning your attention to your nails. You’re careful not to let him see your eyes for too long because then he’ll know he’s right. You do want him.

For some fucking reason. You’re pretty much the only girl in your sorority he hasn’t fucked around with and you take great pleasure in not being added to that list. “Go find Heather or something, I’m sure she’s just dying to hop back on your shrimp dick.”

“Oh my fucking god.” Rafe grits his teeth as he closes the distance between you, his face is so close you can feel his breath on your skin and smell his expensive cologne. But you still don’t give him the time of day and it drives him insane. You’re not wrong, he’s obsessed with you. And it pisses him the fuck off. He’s tried every angle with you, the only reason he even started fucking your soririty sisters was for your attention. He will take what he can get, even if it’s negative. “You’re always fuckin’ bringing other bitches into it, are you really that jealous, baby?”

“Ha!” You throw your head back with a laugh, meeting his eyes with an icy gaze that goes straight to his cock. You’re not like any of the other girls on this entire island. Your thick eyeliner, glossy dark, red lips, and your chunky shoes have him so down bad he doesn’t even want to admit it to himself. “You’re fucking delusional, Cameron. I couldn’t give a shit less who your fuck of the night is.”

“Yeah? I think you’re lying.” Rafe gives you that fuck boy smirk that you wish so badly didn’t secretly work on you and it makes you want to slap him. His arm comes up on the wall by your head, caging you in and further enveloping you in his scent. He leans down so his lips are brushing the shell of your ear and it makes your stomach tighten. “I think you want me to fuck you so bad that it pisses you off.”

“Oh my fucking god! Do you ever shut up?!” You groan and throw your head back before trying to duck under his arm but Rafe’s free hand finding your hip keeps you in place.

“Nah.” Rafe chuckles as he tongues the inside of his cheek, his eyes roaming your face like he’s wondering what to do with you. “But I can think of several ways to shut your bratty ass up right now.”

“I’d like to see you fucking try.” Rafe looks down at you like the cat that caught a mouse as he loops his arm around your waist and hauls you down the hall toward one of the open rooms. He ushers you inside before slamming the door and then he slams your back against the wood.

“You have no idea what you just fucking asked for, little mouse.” Rafe chuckles darkly as his hand comes up to grip onto your chin, forcing eye contact. You try to shake your face free but his grip is too strong. That doesn’t stop you from trying as you glare at him through your lashes. You’re not giving in that easily. “Quit fighting it, just admit you fuckin’ want me.”

“Fucking make me, Cameron.” You thrash around in his hold, not even really trying to break free, just holding onto your pride. Your sharp nails come up to claw his wrist and it only makes his grip on your face tighten.

“Oh, baby, I’m gonna have you fuckin’ begging for it.” The hand on your face laces into the back of your hair, using it as leverage to pull you to the middle of the room.

His free hand grips onto your throat and he pulls your face against his, mashing your lips together in a filthy kiss. You get lost in it for a moment but when his tongue forces its way into your mouth you clamp your teeth down on it. He hisses and pulls his head back, his eyes burning blue flames into yours as he looks down at you.

“I’m never going to beg for you. You stupid fucking asshole, you’re such a -” Your words are cut short when Rafe’s sneaker clad foot sweeps under your platform heels while he uses his grip on your head to manhandle you to your knees in front of him. You growl in the back of your throat and your fingers claw his wrists again. It only makes Rafe cock twitch.

“Maybe you aren’t a mouse after all, huh? You’re a feisty little kitty.” Rafe chuckles and grabs both of your wrists in one of his big hands, holding them tight in front of you. “And kitten’s need to be taught it’s not okay to scratch.”

“You’re a joke if you think you’re gonna be the one to tame me. All you frat boys are the same. Get your nut, and get out. Why do you think I haven’t fucked you already, dumb ass?!”

“You’re always calling me names, baby.” Rafe chuckles as he keeps your hands held in place and uses his free hand to undo his belt. You watch with wide eyes as he pulls it from the loops and when he brings it up to your wrists you hate that your pussy clenches at the thought of what he’s about to do. You half heartedly try to wiggle away as he loops the belt around your wrists, restraining you. “It’s funny cause after I’m done with you the only thing you’re going to remember is my name.”

“This is cute.” You snicker as you wiggle your wrists and shift on your knees, Rafe can’t take the chance of you getting up so he grips onto your hair again, ensuring you stay right where he wants you. “I really like this whole ‘daddy dom’ act you’re putting on, very convincing.”

“Didn’t I say I was done with your fuckin’ mouth?” Rafe uses his free hand to undo his button and zipper and you can’t help the way your eyes hone in on what he’s doing. You have to physically hold in a gasp at the sheer size of his cock when he pulls it out and strokes himself a few times.

“Now why don’t you be a good little slut and make it useful?” He tilts your head back with his grip on your hair and taps the head of his cock on your glossy lips. Some of the red stain streaks onto his tip and the sight drives him insane. “Gonna make such a fuckin’ mess of you. Open your bratty mouth.”

“Open my mouth? Okay, I’ll open my mouth to tell you that you’re-” Your sentence is cut short by Rafe’s cock slipping past your lips. He pushes his shaft all the way to the back of your throat, making you gag on it. He pulls back far enough for you to take a breath of air but as soon as you start to talk again he’s back down your throat.

“Now be a good little girl and fuckin’ suck it.” The horniness in your body is starting to overpower your will to rebel against what it wants. Rafe’s hand finds the back of your head so he can push you all the way down on his cock with your nose flush against his pelvis. It makes you gag and drool and he holds you there until you swallow around him. He pulls out to the tip and you swirl your tongue around in, making his eyes roll back with a moan. You instantly become addicted to the sound, wanting to hear more. You want to hear what he sounds like when he cumes and you’re so tired of pretending you don’t. He thrusts his hips forwards and starts to fuck your throat roughly. You wrap your lips tightly around him, gliding your tongue along his shaft as he uses your mouth. “Yeah, that’s what I’m tallkin’ about baby, knew there was a cock hungry slut underneath that bratty attitude.”

“Gonna cum down this pretty little throat and then I’m going to use that pussy as I please, yeah? Nod if you understand.” You nod the best you can with him brutally fucking your throat and it doesn’t take much more than that to have him stilling in your mouth. Rafe’s cum spills down your throat as he throws his head back and moans. “Fuck. Fuckin’ swallow it.”

You oblige him, swallowing every drop he gives you. Rafe looks down at you devilishly as he pulls you from his cock. He’s already half hard at the sight of you on your knees in front of him like this. Your lipgloss is smeared around your mouth and that meticulously done eyeliner is streaming down your cheeks. It doesn’t hurt that your hands are bound either.

“What are you staring at, weirdo?” You snark at him and Rafe grips onto your arms underneath your shoulders so he can toss you onto the bed.

“You still got that fuckin’ attitude?” Rafe smirks as he grabs onto your thighs and pulls you to the edge of the bed, making your little skirt ride up and reveal your black thong. He runs his big hands down your thighs so he can push your skirt up further, making it pool around your hips. The wet spot that’s visible even in black makes him smirk. “What’s it gonna take to get you to stop being a brat? You need it fucked out of you? The dick you’ve been getting around here isn’t satisfying you?”

“Will you just stop being annoying and fuck me already?” You roll your eyes as you wiggle beneath him, your hands still being bound limiting your movements.

“Nah, cause’ I don’t want to just fuck you, princess. I want you to fuckin’ submit to me. Beg for it.”

“Seriously?” You whine and throw your head back but it just earns you a grip on your jaw, forcing you to keep eye contact.

“Look at me when I’m fuckin’ talking to you.” Rafe’s voice holds a level of authority that makes your head spin. You really didn’t think he had all of this in him and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t the hottest thing you’ve ever experienced in your life. His free hand comes up to push your panties to the side so he can run his fingers through your dripping slit. “I know you want it baby, you’re so wet f’me.”

“Yeah, because I want you to fuck me, okay?!” You huff out as you angle your hips to try and chase his fingers that he keeps just barely dipping into your entrance before denying you the pleasure.

“You’re gonna have to do better than that, princess.” Rafe licks his lips as his fingers circle your clit agonizingly slow, making your clit pulse. “Beg.”

“Please.” You whimper out, so quietly that if Rafe wasn’t inches from your face he wouldn’t have heard it. He smirks at you and you feel his fingers circle your entrance again but this time he thrusts two knuckle-deep inside of you. He pumps them in and out of you while curling his fingers against your walls and it makes your back arch.

“Gonna make you cum on my fingers till you’re begging for my fuckin’ cock.” Rafe’s thumb finds your clit and presses hard circles on it in time with his thrusts and your walls clench around him. He roughly grabs the hem of your little lace top and pushes it over your tits, moaning at the sight of them. He leans down and takes one into his mouth and it has you tumbling into euphoria embarrassingly fast.

“Oh, fuck! I’m fucking cumming, oh my god.” You moan loudly as Rafe continues to fuck you with his fingers. He fucks you through it but just as you’re starting to come down from that high he brings you back to the top again. “Oh shit!”

“Yeah that’s right, slut. Gimme another one.” Rafe’s fingers move impossibly faster and he slides a third one inside you while the heel of his palm grinds against your clit as you come undone for him again. His fingers slow and your chest heaves as you come down from your second orgasm. You think he’s going to give you a break and finally fuck you. But his fingers start to pick up the pace again and you know you thought wrong. “One more.”

“I can’t, Rafe!” You writhe beneath him but he uses a hand to pin your hip to the bed. “Please just fuck me!”

“Yeah, that’s right, slut. Say my fuckin’ name. Say it while you cum on my fingers again.” You practically scream his name as you gush around his fingers and your entire body wracks with pleasure. “Good fuckin’ girl.”

Rafe pulls his fingers from you and brings them to his lips with a groan. He grabs onto the string of your panties and rips them down your legs before positioning himself between your legs with his cock in his hand. He taps his head against your over sensitive clit and it makes you gasp.

“Beg for my cock again, princess. Wanna hear it.” Rafe licks his plush bottom lip as he looks down at you through half lidded eyes. “Don’t even think about giving me an attitude either. I’ll jerk off and cum all over your pretty little skirt and leave you with nothing.”

“Please, Rafe, please fuck me? I wanna feel you buried deep inside me please -“ Rafe lines up with your entrance before pushing himself balls deep into your pussy in one hard thrust. “Oh, shiiiiit.”

“God fuckin’ damn.” Rafe moans as he pulls out of you to the tip before slamming back into you and fucking into you like a man possessed. “You’re so fuckin’ tight. Pussy is squeezing me so good, baby.”

One of Rafe’s hands grips onto your hip so hard you’re sure there's going to be prints of his fingers tomorrow. The other hand grips onto your throat and squeezes, cutting off your airflow in the most delicious way. He leans down and crushes your lips with a bruising kiss, his tongue invading your mouth and dancing with your own.

“Knew you’d look so pretty all split open on my cock.” Rafe chuckles as he grips onto your jaw and shakes your head from side to side. “Tell me you fuckin’ love this shit.”

“I love it, daddy, you’re so big.” Your voice is a breathy moan, a stark contrast to the way you were talking to him not so long ago. “You’re fucking me so good.”

“So you really did just need that little attitude fucked out of you, didn’t you, Princess?” Rafe shoves his face into your neck. He attacks your skin with little bites and sucks, surely leaving marks behind. You honestly hope he does. “Calling me daddy n’ shit, fuck. I’m gonna breed this fuckin’ pussy then everybody on this damn campus will know who owns your ass.”

“Oh god, fuck yes! Fill me up, please? Give me your cum, daddy!” Any and all attitude you had earlier on is completely erased from your mind. All you can think about is Rafe’s cock and how good he’s making you feel.

“Yeah? Gonna fuck you so full it’ll be dripping down your legs when we leave this party. I’m gonna take you back to my place and eat it outta you.” Rafe leans up on his knees and grabs his belt binding your wrists with both his hands. He props both of his knees under your ass so your hips are angled and then he pulls you down on his cock over and over again like a rag doll. “Then I’m gonna fill you again and again until it’s dripping out for days. You’re mine now, baby. Say it and I’ll make you cum again.”

“I’m yours, Rafe!” You whine as you try to meet his erratic thrusts but he’s bouncing you on his cock so fast you can hardly think. That coil in your stomach is wound so tight it’s about to explode. Your hands fly up and grip onto Rafe’s wrist for purchase, your nails digging into his skin making his cock twitch inside you. “God, I’m gonna cum.”

“Yeah, that’s it baby, cum all over daddy’s big cock.” It only takes a few more pumps of his cock against your sweet spot to have your walls convulsing around him. You throw your head back with a loud moan of Rafe’s name, making your back arch and your tits jiggle beautifully. It's enough to have Rafe’s cock pulse while he cums right along with you, spilling ropes of his thick cum into your walls.

He doesn’t stop fucking you until you both come down from your highs and then he’s gently unbinding your hands from his belt. The minute your hands are free your body falls limp on the bed from exhaustion and Rafe chuckles as he looks down at you fondly.

“What’re you laughing at, jerk?” You roll your eyes and groan.

“Nothin’ you’re just cute, s’all.” Rafe chuckles again and you look at him in the eyes through your tired lashes. “I like you like this. All fucked out and covered in my cum. You still got that attitude, though.”

“Yeah? Well I don’t think it’s going anywhere anytime soon, dickhead.” You giggle and throw him a playful glare that he returns with a genuine smile. It makes butterflies flutter in your stomach.

“Oh? Well it looks like I’ll just have to keep trying to get you to be nice to me then, huh?” Rafe plops down on his side next to you, letting his pointer finger gently caress the side of your face. “Plus, I kinda like it when you’re mean to me. It gets me going.”

“Oh my god! You’re so annoying.” You laugh and Rafe joins in before leaning over to kiss you so gently it surprises you. When he pulls back he holds your face in his hands and looks at you so sweetly it makes you feel like you’re going to puke.

“I definitely want to see you all fucked out and sweetly begging for me some more though.” Rafe bites his lip as he looks down at you. “Lemme take you home, yeah? Then maybe tomorrow I can take you on a date?”

“A date?” You scoff out a laugh and raise your eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, I’ve obviously been trying to hit this entire time. But if you would’ve given me to the time of day before biting my head off, you’d know I’ve been trynna ask your little ass out in a date for weeks now.” Rafe rolls his eyes playfully as he squishes your cheeks together with his fingers. “So, what do you say?”

“You know what? Fuck it.” You push yourself up on your elbows with a grin. “Let’s go on a fucking date, asshole.”

“Alright then, brat.” Rafe leans down and presses a messy kiss on your lips. “Get your ass up and get dressed so I can take you home with me. It’s a date.”

Tagging mooties: @cameronwillow @cxrrodedcoffin @rafeyscurtainbangs @starkeysbabygirl @starkeyprincess @oceandriveab @sarahsangelicdoll @rafesheaven

Divider by @anitalenia

[loveanddeepdick]

Ur obsessed geto hcs r consuming my thoughts... do you have anymore hcs to spare for this poor tumbler user

lemme conjure up my thoughts on this sunday morning..! this is just small hcs that he’d do with u tehe im glad u guys like my unserious series of this, everything is under the obsessed!geto tag that i have listed below <3

obsessed!geto who loves doing small things that you should be doing be he does for you instead. he loves lifting your chin gently with two fingers and feeding you. he loves sitting you down on a stool by the front door and putting on your shoes for you.

in a way, it makes him feel in control. he doesn’t want to take over your whole life, but it’s a small reminder that you’re his. his favorite thing to do, in his opinion, is replying to your texts or answering calls for you. some sleezy guy dming you on instagram? he’s replying. your boss calling you to work overtime? he picks up, telling her that you’ve come down with a cold.

obsessed!geto who loves when you act a little pervy as well. one night after you guys fucked, you brought up the idea of relaxing with his dick in your mouth.

“won’t you get uncomfortable, angel?” he hummed, running his scarred hands in your hair as you rest on his bare chest.

“sugu pleaseee? i know you wanna,” you giggle, one hand coming down to cup his clothed dick.

he chuckled, rolling his eyes and letting you have at it. you stayed with his dick in your mouth for about 30 minutes until you knocked out. sugu noticed ofc, your breath stilling on his half-hard cock.

he looks at you with such adoration. you’re his. his soulmate. his everything. but he just can’t help it when you look sooo cute sleeping like this. pulling out his phone to record, he leans down a bit to keep one hand in your hair, slowly bobbing your head up and down gently while he records his cute little soon-to-be fiance <3

obsessed!geto who gifts you an itty bitty owl plushie which you happily keep on your desk since it’d get lost on your bed. it stares at you intently, its cute, glittery eyes boring into your room. it looks like him in a way. the owl’s plastic eyes reflecting a hollow orb inside. it was creepy in comparison to its fluffy body, kinda like your boyfriend.

on the other end, suguru is watching you from his car, he’s already otw to you ofc! he watches you type away on your laptop, probably writing a report on something useless your boss is forcing you to do.

however, sometimes he’s lucky and the owl is facing towards your bed. he wishes there was sound from the plushy when he catches you on your bed, legs spread with your hand in your sloppy pussy. he can tell you’re frustrated. frustrated because your little hands or any toy can’t do what he can. he’ll solve your problem, he’ll do anything for you.

>are you busy, sweetheart? im coming in 10

>better see you naked on that cute little bed of yours

[chaaistained]

hi chaai! do you have any ideas on where to shift to?

ideas on where to shift .*+

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we’ll get the obvious out of the way, there are many different locations you can shift to anon !! and i personally don’t know what your interests and hyperfixations are :( but ! i still want to help in any way i can ≈ so here are a list of general ideas and suggestions and maybe some inspo into different realities to which you (any of you!) can shift !! and ofcs you can tweak it all to your liking xx

sink into self indulgence …

—» shifting at its core is self indulgent and the first example i can think of is your favourite childhood books, movies and shows — the kind of self indulgence where you go back to what made your life sparkle as a child, what made you believe in the impossible, what made you wish the impossible was real, whether it’s fairies, dragons, mermaids, or monsters going to high school, you should take a trip down memory lane and figure out what had you rushing to finish your meal to go watch the latest episode, or work hard at your homework so you could buy the next edition of the game. there’s also the media consumed in your teenage years, the kinds of media that helps you feel like you were escaping and yet at the same time like you were understood

examples include : hogwarts , narnia , my little pony , monster high , ever after high , how to train your dragon , percy jackson and the olympians , h2o , pixie hollow , barbie fairytopia/mermaidia , hilda , bridge to terabithia , wizards of waverley place , minecraft , power rangers , tmnt , disney princesses , little women , gilmore girls , studio ghibli , etc.

—» there are also the realities where you play a part in the bigger picture, you are a significant piece in a vast and intricate puzzle, you stand among your peers, your friends, as someone to be recognised, maybe you’re looking for some thrill? some excitement? some sort of battle or mystery or revolution where you can fight for the underdog or reclaim some form of power — be careful if you do choose to explore these places, but i’m sure you’ll handle it just fine

examples include : marvel/mcu/the avengers/spiderverse , dc/justice league/the arrowverse/smallville , the hunger games , the walking dead , arcane , supernatural , teen wolf , the maze runner , the vampire diaries , pretty little liars , gossip girl , mean girls , outer banks , criminal minds , brooklyn nine nine , the rookie , dune , star wars , avatar: the last airbender , james cameron’s avatar , jurassic park/world , pirates of the caribbean , twilight , etc.

—» conversely, your dr doesn’t even need to be fantastical, sometimes, the things that bring us comfort are in fact the most relaxing, they slow our lives down for whatever time we spend engaging in them, they let us unwind and unravel any burden we’ve unknowingly put on ourselves, the dr doesn’t even need to be based on some form of media, it could be your dream life and/or career

examples include : better cr (HIGHLY RECOMMEND) , cafe/barista , librarian , farmer , florist , artist , museum curator , boarding school , summer camp , bookstore owner , writer , painter , photographer , chef , designer , animator , game developer , director , etc.

—» but maybe you would like a career in the spotlight, where you can finally show the world what you’re capable of, the talent and skills that you know are innate to your being and you just need the opportunity to showcase it

examples include : actor , pop star , band member , kpop idol , youtuber , broadway singer , talk show host , dancer , professional athlete , model , travel vlogger , socialite , royalty , etc.

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when all is said and done, shifting is inherently a form of self love, you’re picking yourself and you’re choosing to shift and experience a reality that will fulfil you in some way !! the ideas in this post are not the limit, there is no limit, [cue mean girls’ “the limit does not exist” scene] so let your creativity take control and let yourself indulge in what makes you happy

cuppa queries; order in — ask responses

2025 © chaaistained

[yjcorefourenjoyer]

An AU where Batman when Jason dies, comes up with dark reasons why keeping villains alive is better than killing them. And it continues to get darker and more detailed the longer he’s in grief.

So when Tim become Robin he keeps on accidentally hearing Batman mutter to himself stuff like:

“Death is a mercy they doesn’t deserve”

“My revenge is something hell can’t reproduce”

“Let justice decide their fate”

“I won’t become like them. I’ll become worse, and I’ll do it while keeping to my rules”

and he just has to sit there pretending he can’t hear as Batman lists horrible reasons why keeping all the villains alive is better then just straight up killing them for his own sanity.

so early Tim’s motto when he wanted to kill a villains who was hurting people close to him and 100% deserved to die was:

“If i kill them now my revenge will end and hell’s will begins. I have to keep them alive so mine can continue”

Ofc as Batman recovers from all the grief of losing his son, and training the new Robin, he slowly stops thinking and saying stuff like that. Tim also knows that this thought process is wrong but it never fully goes away….

Years later when everyone is hanging out, Jason is complaining about why they have to keep the Joker alive and Tim just says what he used to say to himself all the time, out loud.

Tim: “if you kill the joker now your chance at revenge ends and hell’s begins, death is a mercy he doesn’t deserve. keep him alive, show him what hell wishes they could.”

And there’s just horrified and concerned looks from everyone in the room.

——————————————————————————————————

just a Au I enjoy exploring every once in a while. This would never happen but I love see a Tim with a slightly darker side to him that comes out every once in a while :p . hope you enjoyed it too

[bonedo-enthusiast]

santa's little helper 𐂐◯𓇋 (klh)

desc: mall santa!leehan x mall elf!reader

warnings: smut, mdni!, perv!leehan (ofc), p in v, no protection used (no glove, no love 🫵), reader is mean but it's okay bc leehan is into it, degradation, praise, cute petnames, sexual acts in a public space (restroom), oral (reader receiving), sub!leehan, dom!reader, afab!reader, + lmk if there's anything i missed :)

wc: 2,842

you pulled the elf hat down again, annoyed that it kept drifting up on your head. you certainly didn’t feel very festive, the bright green clothing scratchy against your body anytime you moved an inch. in fact, you looked like you had come straight out of a christmas comedy, with your bored expression and your green pointed shoe tapping against the tiled floor.

your university had collaborated with the local mall for the annual santa pop-up, allowing college students to put work toward any necessary volunteer hours. you didn't have many other opportunities since your classes filled up a lot of time, so here you were, dressed in a tacky, too-tight costume waiting for the onslaught of kids to show up.

"perk up. elves aren't supposed to look cranky."

oh yeah, and there was that. or him, rather.

you turned around to fix the boy with a scowl. "the event hasn’t even started yet."

his response was that wide, irritating grin of his. "tsk, tsk… talking back to santa? do you want to be on the naughty list this year?"

kim leehan. of course he got the role of santa, being one of the most proactive students at the university. he was on the dean's list, president of the aquatic club, was apart of at least five other clubs, and was present at most volunteering events. he also happened to be incredibly annoying, always so egotistical. even if he was objectively one of the more attractive boys on campus, his personality irked you to no end.

you rolled your eyes and turned around, ignoring the chuckle he let out.

"lighten up. i'm just trying to look out for you–we’re going to start soon."

right. sure he was.

as if on cue, a gaggle of children ran toward the gated-off area like a swarm of hyperactive puppies. you quickly plastered on a smile and started by greeting the first one, instructing her to sit on santa's lap and tell him what she wanted for christmas. you stood in front of the line so no rogue child could enter, and watched as another elf wrote down the girl's wish. then you allowed the next child to enter.

your shift went by like that, rather monotonously, until the last child had gone through. 

"alright, folks! that's the end of today. thank you so much for your work. if you need me to sign a slip saying you were present, just let me know," the person in charge of the event said. "for those of you that don't mind, can you help us clean up the area for tomorrow's volunteers?"

you watched as the only other elf left, leaving you, leehan, and the event coordinator. you frowned but decided it wouldn't hurt to have some extra minutes of volunteer time, bending down and straightening the tinsel and fairy lights along the base of santa's chair.

"wasn't that fun?" leehan's voice came from behind you, startling you a little. "seeing all those happy children... it just made my heart melt."

"i guess. it wasn't fun having to keep the little ones out. they looked at me like i was their number one opp."

leehan let out a laugh. "well, that's okay. at least you look cute in your uniform."

you raised an eyebrow. "um... thanks?"

"it really suits you." leehan added, smiling down at you. "really accentuates your features."

you became more aware of how tight your costume was. they didn't have your size when you got to the event, them stating that they didn't order enough costumes. apparently they let all of their volunteers keep the costume when they were done as a token of appreciation. you now wished that was not the case.

"leehan, aren't you supposed to be helping me straighten things up?" you asked in an attempt to change the subject.

"fine." leehan said to your surprise. he bent down and helped you with straightening up the christmas decorations, then stood back up. "there. done."

"we should let the event coordinator know."

"they left." leehan said, gesturing at the gate. "probably going to do paperwork or something. we better head out."

you grabbed your backpack and followed him out of the gated area leading to the rest of the mall.

"i wonder why they stop the santa visits so early. the mall doesn't close for another three hours." leehan mused.

"the kids probably have an early bedtime." you said absentmindedly, looking around for the nearest bathroom so you could change back into your clothes.

your eyes landed on a large restroom sign and you immediately started walking toward it. you heard footsteps behind you and turned your head, seeing that leehan was following you. right, he probably wanted to change back into his clothes too.

you stopped at the restroom door, realizing that it was unisex, one stall. you turned around to tell leehan this so he could find another restroom, but he just brushed past you, opening the restroom door with a smirk. the door closed behind him, and you noticed that the door still indicated that it was vacant, meaning he didn't yet lock it. you scoffed.

was this a challenge?

you felt the familiar feeling of irritation and you let out a sigh. you had seen the restroom first, and you knew that the next restroom would probably be quite a few feet away. the itchy green fabric rubbed against your skin, as though making the decision for you. you pushed open the restroom door.

"okay, you freak. i found this restroom fair and square." you said with your hands on your hips.

leehan was leaned against the sink counter still in his santa getup as though expecting you. "oh?"

"yeah. so get out."

"or what?" leehan scoffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "what will you do if i don't?"

you let out another sigh, feeling disheartened and prepared to give up the damn restroom when your eyes trailed down and noticed the tent straining against leehan's pants.

"oh... my god. you sick freak." you said, scrunching your nose in disgust. "do you seriously have a boner right now?"

leehan pushed off of the counter, taking a few steps closer to you. "maybe. maybe not. why? wanna help me with it?"

"help you with it?" you sneered. "tell me, why do you have one in the first place? is it because of me?"

"yes." leehan said immediately, not an ounce of shame in his voice. his eyes softened even as he stood tall over you. "please... i want you."

"you sound pathetic." you said, although your tone had less bite than it previously did. in truth, his words sent a warmth straight to your cunt. the prospect of fucking him didn't sound entirely awful. in fact, the idea seemed almost enticing, and his pleading eyes didn't help.

you locked the door, sliding it from "vacant" to "occupied."

"you want me?" you chided, taking a step toward leehan, closing the distance.

leehan nodded eagerly. "yes. god, please, yes."

"unbutton your coat." you said while crossing your arms, unimpressed.

leehan brought his hands up to the fleece material, his fingers clumsily unbuttoning the coat one by one, leaving his chest bare. he didn’t even have a shirt on under it? you scoffed, wondering if he had somehow planned this.

leehan started to slide the coat off, but you stopped him. "did i tell you to take it off?"

"n-no..." leehan said with raised eyebrows, stopping his actions. "sorry."

“make it up to me. wanna touch me?” you gently pushed him so he was against the wall. 

leehan let out an involuntary moan, making your pussy throb. “yes, please… wanna touch you so bad.”

"mm well, since you asked so nicely..." you leaned forward so that your face was inches away from his. then you grabbed his hands and placed them on your boobs.

leehan began kneading them gently, his thumb running over your nipple through the fabric. you let out a sharp gasp at the contact and felt his dick get harder against your leg.

"you're so fucking hot..." he murmured, leaning forward to kiss you.

you kissed him back as you slowly rubbed your thigh against his dick. he pulled away with a moan, his head falling back. you took the opportunity to pepper kisses along his neck, sucking and leaving marks as you went.

"please..." leehan's voice cracked.

"hmm? please what?" you asked, reaching up to pinch his nipple.

"ah! f-fuck... please t-touch me!"

"i am touching you, leehan." you said matter-of-factly, squeezing his nipple again for emphasis.

leehan bit his lip. "w-want you to touch my dick, p-please!"

"i think i need some convincing first." you leaned back, leehan whimpering at the loss of contact. "make me feel good, then i'll consider it."

"i'll make you feel good... make you feel so, so fucking good."

"then do it." you said with a scoff. "or are you just all talk?"

leehan smashed his lips against yours, pulling you into him. the kiss was messy, with saliva mixing and short breaths of air. he tugged on the hem of your shirt and you took the hint, breaking away from the kiss to tug the shirt up and over your head. your bra followed soon after, the cool air hitting your already perky nipples.

"fuck..." leehan breathed, staring at your chest. "so fucking pretty."

before you had the chance to feel shy, leehan resumed kneading your tits, paying special attention to your nipples. you threw your head back with a moan as leehan swirled his tongue around your nipple, using his other hand to rub against your clothed clit.

"oh fuck, leehan..." you groaned, biting your lip.

"feel good? do i make you feel good?" leehan asked, looking at you intently.

"so good, leehan. so good, just as you promised." you didn't miss the way that leehan's dick twitched at your praise.

you felt your orgasm building fairly quickly just from his hand and fingers alone, your body betraying you. "l-leehan, i'm gonna cum."

"wait."

you froze, eyes wide as you looked at leehan. oh god, was he uncomfortable? did he realize how crazy this--

"i want to taste you." leehan said, a dopey smile on his face. "please, y/n. please let me eat you out."

and how could you deny that?

you quickly slid out of your green leggings, tossing the damned elf hat off while you were at it. leehan sunk down to the floor, face-to-face with your pelvis. before you could take off your panties, leehan reached forward and pushed your panties to the side before grabbing your waist and pulling you toward him. you gasped as he dove face-first into your cunt. as he nibbled on your clit, you swore you could see stars. leehan's tongue lapped inside you as though his life depended on it.

"nngh... l-leehan, fuck! s-slow down, i'm not gonna last!"

"don't want you to." leehan managed to get out between sucking on your folds and panting. "want you to cum."

his words pushed you over the edge, your vision going blurry as you came in his mouth, just as he wanted. as your vision came back, you panted and leehan peeled himself from you, a sheen of your cum on his chin. he licked his lips and wiped his chin with his sleeve, grinning up at you. "that was so hot. you taste so good, baby."

you ignored the way the pet name made your heart flutter. "now then... i believe it's your turn."

leehan's eyes grew wide as though he had forgotten about himself. he hastily stood up and shucked off his pants along with his boxers, his dick springing up proudly.

you let out a chuckle. "looks like someone's excited to see me..."

leehan nodded, sucking in a breath, "i need you, y/n."

"need me, huh? tell me, do you do this often?" you spit in your hand before reaching forward, grabbing his dick and sliding your hand down it.

he let out a choked moan. "n-no, just you..."

"oh? just me? so what, you've been thinking about me?"

"mmh... yes, y-yes..."

"and what have you been thinking about?" you ran your thumb over his slit, causing him to throw his head back in pleasure. "nasty things, i'm sure."

leehan didn't respond, instead letting out more lewd moans. but his flushed face told you everything you needed to know.

"i'm right, aren't i? you're such a fucking pervert." you said, speeding up your pace.

"n-n-no!" leehan managed to choke out.

"don't you lie to me. i could stop, you know." you said, doing just that. leehan's cock stood in your hand, the tip weeping and red.

"no! p-please!" leehan begged, almost manically. "please don't stop, please please--"

"then don't lie. you've been thinking nasty thoughts about me, haven't you?"

leehan's lip quivered. "y-yes... i have..." he looked like a hurt puppy, shame spread across his cheeks in a pink dust.

you felt a pang in your heart at the poor, pathetic boy in front of you. "tell me what you've been thinking about."

"w-what?" leehan bit his lip nervously.

"tell me or you won't get to cum." you said firmly.

leehan let out a soft sigh. "i just... thought about you fucking me. you... finding out about my feelings toward you and..." he trailed off, his blush deepening. his feelings toward you? you felt your lips tug into a smile, finding the sentiment endearing. but you’d have to revisit this later.

you resumed jerking him off at the same rapid pace you were previously, causing him to moan loudly. "so you wanted this to happen? i wonder how many nights you spent jerking off to the thought of me fucking you. how pathetic..."

"w-wait... w-wanna be inside y-you... please! please..." leehan whined out between moans.

you stopped your ministrations on his cock, feeling the growing wetness in your cunt. "oh, you want to be inside me, huh?”

leehan nodded insistently, eyes wide and pleading. “please, y/n, please…” 

“aww…” you cooed, raking your free, unsoiled hand through his hair. “let’s switch spots.”

the two of you shifted so that you were against the wall and you finally pulled off his coat, admiring his arms. “alright, pretty… do you think you could help me keep one of my legs up?”

leehan visibly melted a bit at the nickname. “yes, i think so.” he lifted your right leg up with one hand, using the other to steady himself against the wall.

you placed your hands on his shoulders, placing a kiss against his jawline. "alright, whenever you’re ready."

leehan nodded and licked his lips, moving your underwear to the side once again before slowly pushing his girth into you.

"oh, f-fuck!" you moaned, wrapping your arms around leehan's neck.

once leehan's dick was buried inside you, he promptly pulled out and slammed back in, eliciting moans from both of you.

"you're doing so good." you cooed in his ear, sucking more marks into his skin.

his pace quickened, the sound of flesh against flesh filling the room. his movements were so needy, so impatient. if you weren’t equally as needy, you would have teased him about it. 

"nngh... f-fuck, y/n... so wet..." leehan's voice came out breathy. "i think i'm g-gonna cum..."

"already? we just started." you said, trying to keep your voice steady. "you really can't last any longer? too excited to get your dick wet?"

"c-can't... help it!" leehan's eyes squeezed shut, his thrusting getting inconsistent and sloppy.

"that's okay... you're just my cumslut, aren't you?" you said, raking your nails against his back.

"fuck... y-yes, i'm your-- cum-- i'm cumming!" leehan choked out before you felt a warmth gushing inside of you, filling you up. you followed soon after, his orgasm fueling your own.

leehan gently pulled you off of him and helped you lean back against the wall, your legs a bit wobbly. "fuck, y/n... that was so..." he trailed off, grinning at you from ear to ear.

you felt your face grow warm, becoming aware of your nakedness. "um... yeah."

"so... i don't want things to be awkward between us." leehan said softly. "so um... would you maybe like to go out with me? i was kinda hoping for something more beyond the physical."

"oh, so there some innocent thoughts scattered among the dirty ones?"

leehan's blush returned. "uh... yeah. i would say there were quite a few. innocent ones, i mean!"

you laughed. "yeah, sure. i'll go on a date with you."

"really?" leehan beamed at you, his eyes nearly disappearing with how big his smile was.

"yeah... but first let's put on some clothes, hmm? and by clothes, i mean our regular clothes."

"what's wrong with the santa costume? it seemed to get you going." leehan said, wiggling his eyebrows.

you wrinkled your nose. "um, no. incorrect."

"liar. i bet you loved being santa's little helper."

"gross." you groaned. "you're such a freak."

leehan grinned. "so i've been told."

a/n: i was at the mall w @blueberrybeomgyu & @escapistgarden when berry was like omg mall santa fic as a joke and then ofc i couldn't stop thinking abt it 😭 im SICK but it's okay bc i made this :p i cant believe how long this turned out... im used to writing drabbles but slay ig. anyway, if ur reading this, tysm for ur support! <3 hope u enjoyed :) also, merry christmas! (if you celebrate <3)

[agirlwithglam]

Do you ever feel sick and don't feel like doing anything when the day before you told yourself you were going to do a glow up, live always the best ecc..?

yes definitely! unless i'm actually sick and incapable of doing anything, i will at least try. you didn't ask for advice, but here we go anyways. when i feel like that, heres a few things i do:

how to do things when you don't feel like doing them: (from personal experience)

believe that you can do anything. dont roll your eyes at me! dont skip this part either. this is the main point that gets me going every single time. i truly believe that i can do anything, that i am capable of literally anything that i want to achieve. if i want it, i will have it. that is the first mindset you must have when it comes to this.

start small/ make it fun. yes, ofc i said this. if you can't do a full 1 hour workout, do some pushups/squats/lunges and go for a bike ride or a walk with a friend. what i do when im going bike riding with a friend is we go to a mall and buy drinks there! so make it fun! adding friends to whatever you need to do certainly makes it fun. another thing you can do is if you need to read, you can create a cosy spot in your room with scented candles and a little snack and everything and sit and read there. just the idea of it gets me excited!

treat yourself like a project/ robot. now THIS is something that has certainly gotten my some discipline. we as humans have emotions and feelings and moods. sometimes we don't wanna do stuff, and we actually cave into that. if you promised yourself that you would change your life, switch off your emotions and moods. treat yourself like a robot or an "apprentice" that you're training to become the best.

reward yourself! so you can either reward the action (like reading or studying) or the outcome (like finishing a book or getting a high mark on a test). decide what works the best for you. example: you don't wanna study? you can either a) reward yourself for studying with some free time with friends or watching your fav show or b) you can reward your self by the score you get on the test (ex if you got higher than 80%= a certain thing on your wish list, above 90%= a better thing on your wish list, 100%= the thing you've wanted for ages) you don't wanna read? you can either.. a) reward yourself for reading for x amount of minutes or b) you can reward yourself for finishing a book in a certain amount of time.

alter egosss. i know, i mention this quite often, but trust me this actually gives such a burst of emotion! embody someone else/ a different version of you that can best handle the situation. im gonna make a whole post on alter egos soon cus i mention it in a lot of my posts.

EDIT:

Please remember that if ur actually sick or genuinely feeling really low, remember to rest!! Remember to take time to relax and slow down. Take care of yourself honey <3

thats it for now! i hope this helped <3

btw heres a big master-post to how to get things done when you dont want to (not by me)

[rassicas]

Something always bugged me about the fruits and vegetables in Alterna compared to the ones in the Greater Inkadian/Splatlandian region.

According to a page in the Splatoon artbook, fruits and veggies evolved/genetically mutated to resemble squids, (eg. Squid Fin Lemons, "Squiddage" (cabbage), Squid Leg Grapes, squidkin (pumpkin), Squiddymelon?) But then Tomatoes are JUST Tomatoes. No change in either appearance or name. And its known to the NSS that tomatoes were grown in human times accoring to one of Marie's lines reading "...they should've let tomatoes go extinct..." ("they" being the human occupants of Alterna ofc.)

Meaning 1: the Tomato plant and its fruit had been known to Inkfish before ROTM

And 2: Marie had to have tried them at some point and found out her distaste for them

So if that were the case.. why dont the Tomatoes have squid pun names/appearances if they were known to Inklings WAY before the discovery of Alterna? If they were always there, then wouldnt they be named with the same format as the rest? And have some unique feature that links it to Inkling appearance?

ah yes the fruits and vegetables page from the s1 artbook that everyone loves. this is the kind of shit that got me invested in splatoon's worldbuilding babyyyyyy

ok lemme pick apart your ask >According to a page in the Splatoon artbook, fruits and veggies evolved/genetically mutated to resemble squids The other very plausible option other than a natural evolution/mutation is that these plants were selectively bred to look squid shaped or to react with ink. This would make a lot of sense with the amount of plants that are unchanged. (like a lot of decorative/inedible plants look normal, and it seems like just some fruits and veggies are squid-shaped) This would fit with how humans selectively bred these very fruits and vegetables to be easier/better to eat in the first place.

to address the main question. if you have nothing but this crop of this page it looks like there's just. regular tomatoes. it might just be older concept art though, or rather the shape of the structure the tomatoes are in was more important than the fruit's design in those drawings. but right above this section, there is art for a squid-shaped tomato

and in the art of splatoon 2 it appears again, being called an ink tomato. (...next to a squiddymelon erroneously just called a watermelon)

the fun thing about these tomatoes is not only are they squid shaped, but they also react to ink color! they can be seen growing in kelp dome, the fruits change depending on team color.

(shout out to @splatreference for always having the extremely specific ungoogleable screenshots i need) beyond that though it seems like non-ink tomatoes exist. represented as sculptures in salmonid territory+check the salad. these look like cherry tomatoes though

the species list has a section for plants too!

ok one last thing I didnt realize marie mentioned she wishes they let tomatoes go extinct in alterna. LOL. i think this is in reference to her news dialogue for kelp dome in s1:

Callie: 「そう言えば、じーちゃんが子供の時　トマトとか　無かったらしいよ！」 (Say, Gramps said that when he was little, tomatoes and such didn't even exist!) Marie: 「その時代に　生まれたかった…」 (I wish I was born back then...)

oh yeah wait this dialogue. what do you mean tomatoes didnt even exist. options: -cuttlefish is just lying to his grandkids (possible. old people will do that.) -food culture changed dramatically for the naturally carnivorous inkfish, and became more varied and veggie heavy in the past 100 or so years (also possible. and interesting)

this line of dialogue has crossed my mind before and now i subject you all to it too<3

[coquettebratzdoll]

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

Okay a while ago I made this post talking abt how I haven't shifted yet bc I'm lazy, and while the sentiment holds true, I made some advancements is my beliefs. I've come to the realisation that I wasn't lazy, I just lacked some things 😭😭. Since many of you guys seemed to relate to my struggle, I'll go over what I found to be lacking and how I am fixing it:

1. Persistence - I just wasn't persisting in the fact that I am a master shifter. Some days I believed, only to give up a few hours later. I let the 3d tell me stuff that was literally not true. Like okay not you tryna be relevant gtfo 💀💀

2. Direction - I had no clear goal in mind. Like ofc I wanted to shift, but I was switching up on myself every half hour. First, I want to shift by xyz date, but then I change my mind and say that I'll shift tonight. So by the time night actually came around, I would just say one aff then give up on myself.

3. Mindset - talking abt giving up on myself, my mindset is all over the place rn. I don't hate myself (far from it), but I do not believe in myself. It's even crazier cus I KNOW I can shift, and I HAVE SHIFTED multiple times to realities like this one 😭😭. Ik that it has to be real, but I am limiting myself by believing that I personally can't shift (or don't deserve to). I know that it is possible to shift with doubts, but if you don't believe in yourself, where will that get you.

4. Methods - there are a plethora of methods that I can choose from to aid my shifting, but I just don't resonate with the traditional methods of shifting. I know that you don't need a method to shift, but I wish someone told me sooner how little methods actually matter. Lemme be honest, I've never been a Type A planner person. Steps and instructions aren't my strong suite. I prefer to be 'lazy' and just go with the flow.

So now that I listed my problems, here are my solutions !!

For persistence, I'm just gonna shut my ass up and do it 💀💀. Like ik 4d is the only reality that matters, so imma continue to hold true in that assumption.

As for direction, imma focus on one dr for now. I'll also gaslight myself so badly yall just wait 😭🙏

Mindset is gonna be the most exposing one lmao. Imma do some shadow work to find the root cause of the problem and deal with it from the source.

For methods, imma use the law of assumption to my benefit. I alr apply it to everything else, so why not shifting ? I'll also add on lucid dreams cus they're fun 💀💀

Overall, this really made me think harder about why I am so 'lazy' when it comes to shifting and inspired me to do something about it. I hope you do the same :)

[hezenkossapologist]

Controversial opinion but I really like Taash’s depiction, as an autistic person who experiences all the things they talk about.

I know it’s not true for everyone but I AM a very stereotypical autistic person who you can go down the checklist of DSM5 and ICD10 (I was diagnosed via the ICD bc I am not USamerican) and tick off every box. They literally did that when they diagnosed me. The people in my family are all very stereotypical autistics with variable functioning and support needs: one of the things I really really liked about Taash’s relationship with their mum is that you can feel the intergenerational autism conflicts happening and causing such catastrophic communication issues!

And the reaction to Taash has frankly been a masterclass in demonstrating how people react cruelly and with no benefit of the doubt or grace for autistic people, especially people who have very strong stereotypical presentations (flat affect, bluntness, social impairment). I just left my autism support group today and we were talking about how people react to us, and it was all these different autistic people expressing that they have ALL experienced the exact kind of reaction Taash has gotten.

Like ofc the world finds Taash annoying, whiney, aggressive, rude, annoying, boring, repulsive; that’s literally how people like us are received everywhere, all of the time.

Do I have a long wishlist of disability studies texts that in a perfect world the DA team would all read before depicting disability, allowing them to think through the ways that disability is created and changed by the cultural context a person is encountered within? Ofc.

Is it also really satisfying to see this autistic-ass person living their life and having autistic struggles but also being able to function bc they have built a life that largely supports their needs instead of working against them? YEAH.

I have a long long long long long list of things I wish Veilguard had had the interest, opportunity, and freedom to do with DA. I was really disappointed by it, I won’t lie.

I’m also really excited to buy my 14 year old autistic queer family member this game, specifically because I think it will be transformative for them to meet Taash, someone who is so so like them, yes in their symptomology, and who is in a fantasy game.

Idk guys at a certain point complaining about a depiction of autism as too stereotypical is actually just complaining about autistic people like me and my family getting depicted!

[on-a-lucky-tide]

HELLO!

Thought of asking you bc I ADORE your writing, the way you write the NikPrice ship is by far my fav, I would've wrote it myself but I love your way of writing more heh.

BUT price, having a nightmare or ptsd attack at night, but not waking nik up nor does he wake up. Prob just stirred a bit. But he doesn't end up telling him, cause hes a big strong boy he doesn't want to show nik how vulnerable he really is. But nik notices how tense he is during the day, which ofc worries him. Que the emotional conversation maybe a cry and long hug :3

If you haven't written something like this anyway! Also ty for the follow made me giggle and die a bit inside from happiness <3

Thank you for this prompt and your fic is below, but! Please write. Write your heart out, bud. No one can write like you do and the world is richer for having your art in it. So please. Write this too. Even if just for yourself.

Price spent three years in a Gulag. That leaves a mark.

cw: PTSD, nightmares, mention of torture, dissociation, depersonalisation, shameless canon blending.

"Prisoner 627, confirm which names on this list are undercover operatives."

"Price, Jonathan, Captain, 9-0-5-1-2-1-0."

A rib cracked. He spat blood onto the table next to the file. The ropes around his wrists tightened.

"Prisoner 627, confirm which names on this list are undercover operatives."

"Price, Jonathan, Captain, 9-0-5-"

He bit through his bottom lip when the fist landed. Someone stepped forward to intervene. You don't break their faces because then they can't talk. Interrogation 101. He coughed. More blood, and they yanked him upright by the hair.

"Svyazat yego."

The chair clattered to the floor as he was pulled from it. The ropes cut only for his hands to be chained above his head. The same knife sliced his shirt off, the rags falling around his shoulders. Metal tools rattled to his left, the embers from the nearby fire stirred by an iron.

"Last chance, prisoner 627," his interrogator held the list of names in front of his face. He recognised five of them. He had attended the wedding of one, "confirm which names on this list are undercover operatives."

"Price, Jonathan, Cap--"

His voice broke as pain tore through his back.

Price woke tangled in damp sheets, his body paralysed. The scream couldn't even rip out of his throat because his lungs needed air to make noise. Through sheer force of will, he drew his first shuddering breath, pulling himself back from the precipice.

See: digital clock. 04:30.

Taste: dry mouth. Need a drink.

Feel: hot, no; cold... both? Damp sheets.

Hear: breathing, not mine.

Price sat up slowly, forcing movement through his limbs like he was prying them from manacles. The next breath was easier. Burned less. He dropped his face into his palm and shivered in the cold. Feel: cold, he updated on his mental map.

Breathing, not mine. Price looked over his shoulder to the sleeping face of his lover. Half nuzzled into the pillows, his black hair splashed over crisp white cotton, Nikolai was serene. A small mercy.

All the manuals would tell you about wounded soldiers waking screaming and begging in the night, perhaps wetting themselves in terror at the ghosts haunting the inside of their skull. They warned against storing weapons nearby, of sleeping in the same bed as your loved ones in case you lashed out. There was a laundry list of suggested therapies and interventions too.

Sometimes, Price wished he woke screaming, because at least then he would know he was alive. His throat and lungs would burn as he roared, his hands would flail and he would be left panting, raw, but fighting. Alive. Now, in the numb silence, he wasn't sure.

He touched his cold wrist with cold fingers and just felt... cold. Like an absence of something. Prisoner 627. No name, no identity; a nothingness stored in a castle with hundreds of other voids where people should have been. Everything human about them stolen away until just the cold and the pain remained.

Price stumbled from the bed, his legs barely working as he groped his way out of his bedroom. He had to sleep with the doors open these days, even on base. Even if it was just a crack, a sliver, he still needed to be able to lift his head and see an escape. A beyond the little box room of his quarters. Not imprisoned, not restrained.

His feet registered the change from carpet to tile as he navigated his way down the hall to his flat's little kitchenette. Lit by the full moon streaming in through the balcony door, Price managed to fill the kettle and set it to boil.

There was a small blue light inside - one of those modern glass varieties that showed all the bloody limescale on the inside - and it illuminated Price's face against the black laminate of the back splash behind the hob. Price stared at the phantom image, blue and featureless, and saw nothing of himself.

He remembered being rescued, watching the castle fall to the joint task force attacking it, but when you spent three years bleeding in a place, did all of you really ever get to leave? When they spent those three years chipping away at you, breaking parts off, what was left to bring back at all?

As he stared at the ghostly blue outline of his own face, he felt a disconnect. A hollowness where that familiarity with self should be. Lost in the cold and the dark. Prisoner 627.

The kettle clicked loudly in the silence and he startled. His heart beat hard against his rib cage, felt like a distant echo, and he drew another deep sigh. Numb fingers pawed at the cupboards and he found his Liverpool FC mug, the one his sister had got him for his birthday while he'd still been in training at Sandhurst. There was a chip missing out the rim, dark stains and scrapes in the ceramic at the bottom that would never wash out; evidence of hundreds of cups drunk, a small shard of a life lived. An anchor to himself.

As he poured the water over the tea bag and dumped four teaspoons of sugar in, Price fluttered his fingers through the steam, rubbing his thumb through the dampness it left on the tips and letting the sensation crackle through his nerves. He drew another breath and muttered, "Price, Jonathan, Captain..." Prisoner 627.

He cupped both hands around the mug and carried it slowly, stumbling, towards the balcony window. The sky wasn't quite dark anymore, but a fuzzy, ashen grey. His eyes turned east. And he waited.

Waited...

Unmoving. Frozen in place. Like the cold had taken root and turned him to stone. The only things that kept him anchored were the cooling mug of tea clasped between two hands and the yellow light bleeding over the rooftops of the Clydeside.

The sun chased the dark away across the sky, bleeding an ombre of fire into the midnight black. With the sun came the heat. He couldn't feel it though. One hand left the mug, alive with warmth, and played in the dust motes illuminated by the morning light. They whirled around his fingers in white spirals, untouchable light.

He turned the key in the balcony doors and staggered outside, thrusting his arm into the dappled orange light passing through his neighbours fluttering laundry. "Price, Jonathan, Captain, 9-0-" he leaned over, and--

"John!"

Nikolai's hand wrapped his elbow, pure, scorching heat and strength, and it knocked the breath from Price's lungs. He nearly dropped his mug, but Nik caught that too, scooping beneath it as he drew Price to him in a bear hug.

His ear fell against Nik's chest, listening to his heart thundering on the inside. Ba-dm-ba-dm. Price's hand lifted and buried itself in dark chest hair, feeling it run between his fingers, soft, warm. The sensation rolled through him, cracking away the ice, and he turned his face into it with a shivering gasp.

Alive.

I'm alive.

The mug clattered on the glass surface of the little balcony table they had smoked at only the night before, Price lost in his thoughts while Nikolai had watched him pensively from the other chair. Both big hands now free, one stroked up his back to grasp his neck, and he shuddered again.

Nik looked terrified, his usually calm eyes blown wide, glistening. "You nearly fell," Nik said, so softly, and yet so clear. So real. Price touched his lips, relaxing into his hold.

"Was fine, Nik. Just got a bit carried away with the sunrise."

Nik glanced at the rooftops, his brows knitted together. "It is... pretty, but better viewed from inside, hm?"

"Yeah, s'pretty chilly out here, ain't it?"

Nik hesitated before he let go and Price missed the warmth of his arms immediately. He followed inside, let Nik pull him onto the sofa and drag one of the big fleece blankets over them. The heat of his body as it closed around Price's burned with intensity and a stuttering gasp broke out of his throat. Nik only held him tighter.

Every moment he laid there, wrapped in the bed warm scent, a piece of Jonathan Price thawed. From the tips of his toes to the cheek pressed to Nik's chest, warmth and feeling returned, bringing with it a sense of reality and connection to the world. To himself.

"Why were you on the balcony, John?" Nik asked. Price got a sense that he was afraid of the answer, and wasn't entirely convinced he would be given the truth anyway.

"In Petrovpavlosk, my cell faced east," Price said. "Would watch the sun rise every morning. It was like... No matter what they did, no matter what they broke away, if I could feel the sun on my skin, then I was still alive. Still me. Not just a dead man walkin'."

Nik sighed, burying his face in Price's hair for a few deep breaths. "You thought you were there again?"

"Dunno if I ever really left, Nik."

They held each other in silence as the light continued to creep into the flat, illuminating the empty bottles of beer they had left on the coffee table to clear up. "I sensed these past weeks you have been struggling, I know the anniversary of your escape is soon, and I feared you were..."

"That I was gonna throw myself off an' give Beryl a fright."

"John, do not joke about these things..."

"'m sorry, I... I wasn't gonna do it, Nik. Swear to you. I..." he struggled upright a little and Nik let him go reluctantly, "I struggle in the cold. The winter is... I dunno... it's like the cold makes me think I'm still there. That I never got out. That this," he glanced around the flat, his voice cracking as he spoke, "is just some dream my mind made up to escape to. I... I didn't know whether I was real, whether I was me... or... I didn't... Nik, I didn't know whether I was even alive, I..."

Nik's fingernails raked through his beard and he leaned into it. Felt them graze gently over the soft skin beneath his ear, and then into his hairline to draw him down. He yielded to the kiss, mouth opening desperately to let Nik in; he pawed at Nik's chest, stealing stuttering gasps as their tongues worked together.

He didn't notice the tears until he pulled back and one dripped from his chin to Nik's chest. "You are here, solnyshko. Right here, with me," Nik whispered. "Captain Jonathan Price, serial number 9-0-5-1-2-1-0," Nik took the hand on his chest and placed a kiss to the knuckles, "Bravo Six, you are home."

Price crumpled into Nik's arms and his shoulders shuddered as he sobbed. No longer mute, no longer cold, no longer frozen out of his own fucking body, the raw pain of it sunk its claws in, overwhelming and savage.

Nik's hands stroked down Price's back to the burn scars at the base; an uneven, mottled pattern that stretched over his right hip. The sensation was sporadic, some sensitive, some numb, but the muscles underneath still seized with pain. Nik placed his warm palm over them, chasing away the last shadow of Petrovpavlosk hanging over him.

As the morning ticked over and the rest of the block woke up, Nik dragged Price back to the kitchen and pushed a pan into his hands. He stood behind him, huge body looming as a bulwark, chin on Price's head, hands caressing his belly and chest, as the eggs cooked.

Home, Price's mind offered weakly, battered and bruised from its fight with the cold. Home.

[kolbalissh]

what are ur top 5 carcar fics of all time?

hello anon! im very sorry for the late ass response but listing top 5 carcar fics of all time is a task i take very seriously and it is NOT so easy to rank them because i love pretty much every one i read

but there are a few that ive reread, cried over, obsessed over and pretty much think about every waking moment - i'll attach the links ofc, and i'll tag the authors to the best of my abilities because some are my mutuals and they write absolute GOLD and im literally honoured to even read their works

here goes 😁

sumi's top five carcar fics of all time as a full time carcar connoisseur ft rants about each and every one of them

this ain’t a scene, it’s a goddamn arms race by @beabnormal24

(ive read this fic probably 900 times it is the definition of PEAK comfort fic, it is written so well that not only have i cried reading this the first time i find myself coming back to it whenever i find myself down in the dumps, also one of the first fics i read during the beginning of my carcar obession)

catch me floating circles in my fishbowl by @beabnormal24

(lo and behold, the sequel of number one can you tell i love this series? or is it not obvious yet - i adore every single fic from my dear mutual and friend but man oh man, this series was the first of their writing i was introduced to and it just hit like crack)

quantum entanglement by @tiredwishes

(now this right here, altered my brain chemistry in ways i didnt even think was possible, one of the best reads that i wish i could leave a kudos to every time i reread it, the au is so perfect from start to finish one of the most enjoyable fics ive read in this fandom so far)

i made a fist and not a plan by @beabnormal24

(when i tell you this fic is the only thing that got me through that hungarian grand prix weekend trauma, i wholeheartedly mean it - its soft and the sweetest most healthiest dynamic between carcar with the right amount of 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 in it, including one of my all time fav ao3 smut tags so definitely a must read if ur like me)

he just turned in like i didn't exist by @drivestraight

(absolutely love author's work so freaking much, this was maybe the third or fourth ever carcar fic i read and this was also one that i took my sweet time with because it was just so good i didn't want it to end, and have reread multiple times because of how well its written and how much i loved the soulmate au depicted in it)

bonus! (bc why not)

take it or leave it by venerat

(this is gonna get an honorary mention solely because i remember i wanted to read this so bad i read it at my work/internship, on company wifi, during every single one of my breaks on that day - such a creative fic with its layout and concept and definitely how on brand it was for the carcar dynamic absolutely amazing)

i could have simply just listed the fics and called it a day, but you cant contain a yapper like me - thank you so much for the ask!!! <3

[cloveroctobers]

string of lights — 4. Armando Aretas [Winter Prompts]

A/N: The list keeps on growing for this man but I couldn’t help but to imagine what he would be like during the Christmas season…yet it’s never that simple with me ofc! Also never watched Vikings a day in my life so I’m not entirely sure how Travis’ character is but I’ve seen enough TikTok’s on him outside of his character lol so this is more oc than anything and I thought it would be fun to throw a little connection in there. Hope you like 🤍

PROMPT IS FROM HERE & I’m using: SITUATIONS — We broke up and I'm asking someone else to go home with me for the holidays because I know my ex will be there with someone + DIALOGUE PROMPTS — “I'm not drunk!" // "Oh yeah? Then why are your eyes crossed?”

WARNINGS: ended up longer than intended, language, heartbreak, corny Christmas one liners, one night stand + slight intimate scene.

<- read my previous anthology winter prompt here.

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She warned you.

She meaning Kelly.

Kelly warned you that Armando would be here with his supposed ex fiancée and you’ve never known Kelly to be a liar. In fact, you considered her a friend outside of AMMO and her blunt nature could be harsh majority of the time but you can always trust her to give it to you straight. It was simple over text but she knew already before you responded that you needed an explanation, which later resulted in her sending over a voice message about ten minutes later—she got distracted okay!

You already had a sense of dread going to Christine’s annual Christmas party (it was mostly for charity) single because who really wants to be single on the holiday’s? but you made a promise that you would show your face. You never broke a promise, this many knew. Yet you couldn’t say the same for your ex. Now that Armando was parading his ex in your face, the same ex from Mexico City, that he decided not to tell you about because his past life was meant to be kept there although you got a pretty good glimpse of it, that relationship was actually some sort of arranged marriage (that Isabel set up) until she mysteriously disappeared, yeah that ex was also going to be in attendance.

It left a nasty taste in your mouth but you didn’t want to be the bitter one. You could hold a grudge and be in your feelings but why did that have to automatically mean you were bitter? Angry and hurt, sure but bitter? Just felt misplaced. There was nothing else to talk about, Armando made his decision to want to explore what that relationship could be like again, like you were supposed to be put back on the shelf and sit pretty until Armando was ready to try again when it didn’t work out.

Notice how you said when?

You were never going to be someone’s second option.

Especially not to someone who claimed they would die for you and without you.

Armando’s dark eyes were burning into you from across the hall but the more cranberry martini’s you threw back, his stare honestly just felt like a gnat you would have to lightly fan away. So you angled your body in your fancy party dress so your gaze wouldn’t dare look his way over your shoulder, further tuning into the conversation with Dorn’s cousin, Ronan Steffensen, who told you that he could basically be Dorn’s father—followed by a eye roll from the blond—with how involved he was in Dorn’s upbringing.

“Yeah, I always could tolerate you much better than Jax.” Dorn called over his shoulder, referring to Ronan’s younger brother, as Kelly pulled him away to mainly dance but to leave you alone to engage with Dorn’s cousin, with a wink tossed your way.

It was honorable how Dorn spoke so highly of the guy and now you can put the name to the face. You wished he would have put you on sooner but…there’s no time like the present! Ronan had the brightest of blues that no frame of glasses could shield with a hint of mischief in them the longer you stared. A hour and half had passed since you two got introduced but the conversation never got boring.

Armando can tell you were enjoying yourself. You barely acknowledged him when Detective Lowrey called you over after your attempt to sneak on by. His own low lidded eyes lifted a bit in annoyance at his…father trying to force you two to play nice. Working together was tense enough but regardless when things got hectic, the both of you would always look out for one another.

“Thanks for that back there.” Armando walked behind, butt of the sniper resting against his shoulder as the both of you made your way back to the van a few nights back.

He knew how much you weren’t a fan of weaponry, preferring hand to hand combat more than anything but in a case like this, where Armando let his guard slip in search of you through the smog, you landed a single bullet to the neck of your opponent, slightly clipping the tip of Armando’s ear in the process.

You scoff, “No need to thank me. That’s part of the job, watch your back and hope you watch mine in return.”

He blinks with a slight frown, “Of course I would. I’m just acknowledging what you did back there for me.”

“Mhm.” You exhale, fighting the urge to not roll your eyes. You couldn’t even lie and say that part of it wasn’t for him.

Armando was the one that was always a person of few words and he hated that he was getting this from you so he starts, “Look—

You shake your head, “Let’s just continue doing what we need to do so you can get back to Priscilla.”

Armando winced from behind you as you nearly spit out the woman’s name but you didn’t see that, “Y/N.”

“Armando. You should get your ear checked out when we get back.” You hissed with the back of your hand facing him, which meant you were done talking, and Armando took the hint, deciding not to press you.

Tonight was different.

Whereas Armando was supposed to be enjoying the party, he kept moving around the supposed hall, which was actually more of a mansion, zoning out of conversations to keep his eye on you and Dorn’s older cousin.

“I can give you something else to look at,” Priscilla purs as she stands in her tassled low-cut red dress, tucked underneath Armando’s shoulder.

He hums, slowly bringing his eyes to meet her green ones, not hiding that he had been caught.

“If you’re going to stare at her the whole night, you might as well tell her to come home with us instead of with Dorn’s primo.”

His jaw sets at the mention of you going home with someone else but he knows deep deeep down he doesn’t have the right.

“You decide what you want to do.” She runs her finger up his chest before sharply gripping his tightened jaw, her pointed acrylics digging into his flesh, “but don’t you dare embarrass me.”

Which means what exactly?

“Kinda like how you left me in the dark about your whereabouts…how long ago?” Armando easily furrowed his brows at the audacity of this woman.

“That’s just business baby, don’t act like you don’t know how it is.” She dismissed, which made Armando scowl as she began to strut away.

The night went on but Armando knew to keep his distance. From overly invasive questions from colleagues of Christine’s, who were just dying to know how a old cartel member with a highly respectable birth father for a detective managed to turn his life around for the better, to the overflow of the awful peppermint desserts, spiked hot chocolate, to trying to keep his eyes off of you and Ronan but didn’t falter when Ronan caught him and you attempted to be oblivious as you now held onto his arm like you were suddenly a couple now, to ignoring Priscilla’s advances for a quickie in one of the marble bathrooms, being disgusted by the white powder on her nose which definitely wasn’t her makeup, to small chatter with AMMO and Reggie, telling both Mike and Marcus to butt out on them checking up on him in regards to you, which resulted in Marcus threatening to stick his size 10 up his ass if he didn’t fix his behavior, all Armando could do was smirk at his new uncle, showing him that he wasn’t the least bit threatened, and to finally almost getting in Dorn’s face about bringing more than a plus one to this event.

Armando had to collect himself, straightening out Dorn’s business casual attire, “…My bad bro. I just…need a minute.”

“Well take one.” Kelly snaps, ready to shove Armando her damn self.

Dorn, always the one to give people the benefit of the doubt and diffuse his fiery girlfriend says, “Kelly,” he warns before turning his gaze to Armando who rubs at his face, “What was that about? Do you need to talk?”

“No. Definitely not.” Armando scowls, growing more iritated that people were concerned about his well-being when he said he was fine many times.

His eyes find you making your way out of the room towards the gigantic red and gold covered tree in the lobby that made you appear so tiny. He could tell from across the room that you were wobbly in your heels and sensed that you were leaving. His eyes quickly searched for Mike who sipped from his drink, eyes already peering at his son from underneath his eyelashes. A dip of his head to Armando makes him aware that you already had said your goodbyes for the night.

“Armando…let it go.” Dorn calls out, careful not to touch him but his hands were open as if he was ready to guard him.

Armando side eyed the blond as he pointed at the couple, “You two were trying to distract me.”

“Oh, boo-hoo! She deserves a good lay for the holidays and since you broke her heart like the dissociative asshole you are, Dorn and I decided to give her a gift of our own.” Kelly sends a smug smile his way, crossing her arms.

Armando flares his nostrils.

Dorn shakes his head at the Filipina before turning back to his team member, “That wasn’t exactly my plan. I actually didn’t have a plan really. Ronan’s in town and he didn’t have anything going on tonight so I thought why not—

Kelly shushed him, “Dorn baby, you don’t need to explain yourself to him.”

“What the fuck is your problem?” Armando exclaimed, making the dark haired woman tilt her head.

“Hey.” Dorn cuts in as he notices some attendees whip their head at Armando’s language and also because he didn’t appreciate how Armando was speaking to Kelly, “Let’s be chill here.”

“Chill about what? You setting my girl up with some bozo who can’t even see how many fingers I’m holding up?”

Dorn frowns as Kelly lets out humorless laughter, knuckles going back to knock against her boyfriend’s chest, “Did you hear that? Armando still thinks he gets a say in what y/n does. Isn’t your fiancée around here somewhere? Or is she taking another bump of snow in one of the many corners of this place?”

Armando didn’t know why he was wasting more time going back and forth with Kelly. She often had no issue saying what was on her mind and right to Armando’s face, making them butt heads often but she was a helluva weapons expert and ultimately a good friend to you.

So he walks off, making Kelly also stalk after him but Dorn grips her wrist and shakes his head at her, deciding for the both of them that they’ve done enough tonight.

When Armando catches up to you, you’re staring up at the lights, a goofy smile on your face, and it sounds like you’re humming along to one of the sickening Christmas instrumentals, until a glare hits your face, getting a sense of Armando beside you.

“Leaving so soon?” Armando questions, clapping his hands behind his back, “The night is still young.”

You throw your head back as you laugh, “Of course it is, which is why it’s continuing…at my place.” You whisper the last bit as if it’s a secret.

“You’re not driving.” Armando states.

You snort, “Its not your business but I’ve got a beautiful man who’s gonna keep me entertained. I’ll be a passenger princess tonight. He should be coming back from the bathroom any minute.” Which was ironic as you unintentionally tell him, searching your satin clutch to reapply your plum colored gloss to your lips.

Armando flicks his eyes from your lips up to your face, “You’re drunk.” He sighs.

“I’m not drunk!” You yell while trying to roll your eyes and pluck your lipgloss back into your bag but you miss as it clutters to the linoleum floor.

Armando saves you the trouble of bending down, picking it up for you so you wouldn’t tumble over. You snatch it from his grasp as he says, “Oh yeah, Then why are your eyes crossed?”

You laugh, resting a hand against your cheek, “B-being worried about me is funny when you weren’t worried about me when you decided to leave me in t-t-the dust for the chica who belongs in whoville! Don’t worry though, Ronan will probably make my vision worse…and I’m not talking about stealing his glasses off his handsome face. So you can go now, I’ll be warm enough tonight.”

A clearing of a throat interupts your stare off and Armando’s stare turns heated as Ronan stands behind you two. You don’t even waste time, not wanting the two to chat as you let out a sigh, arms wrapping around his neck, as his hands rest on the big white bow on the back of your dress. Ronan is all grins as well, his hand going up in the air to wave at Armando as you practically drag him away into the night.

Now it was Armando’s turn to feel a nasty taste in his own mouth as he watches you two leave.

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Although you were drunk, somewhere in your mind you managed not to scream Armando’s name once Ronan got inside you. He wasn’t Armando at all but he still knew what he was doing. You had no doubts in your mind with a man like this as you sat on his lap, his hand guiding you by the jaw so your lips could reconnect.

His glasses were so fogged up that you just decided to do the honors of taking them off his face as you sat on his lap. The both of you tasted like liquor and that was enough courage for the both of you to tis’ the season. You knew what it was as the night carried on at Christine’s party and after you let it slip to Ronan that you wanted to snatch Armando’s eyes out of his damn skull, he left the floor open for you to give a rundown of what happened.

Ronan had no problem accepting taking you home tonight in hopes that you could forget about Armando but that didn’t work out in your favor. You should have known better, Armando was your person and Ronan would just be for the night. You bit down on the tip of your tongue so hard that you should have had your own source of cranberry dripping from it as Ronan gave one last thrust up into you, finishing last by being the gentleman that he is, then one of his hands drags the rest of your ripped tights down your lower legs, before trailing his finger up your thigh, and nipping at your bottom lip.

“Wow…who knew you had it in you?” You joked, staring up into the blues through half lidded eyes.

He’s laughing against your mouth, “Joy to the world and all that is what they say, babe.”

You roll your eyes before pecking his lips once more.

He doesn’t stay and it doesn’t bother you as you manage to get into your lengthy night routine and being a giggly mess you order from doordash from two places, deciding to surprise yourself. You’re just about to doze off on your couch when knocks on the door and ringing of the door bell manages to wake you. Groaning you get to your feet, dragging yourself to the door and yank it open.

It’s Armando standing in your illuminated doorway, still dressed in his christmas wear from the party.

“You’re not doordash…don’t tell me you’re some sort of porch pirate?” You lean against the door, blocking his way in, still trying to sober up despite being in cozy wear and showcasing glass skin—for the next twelve hours that is—your skin has a mind of her own.

Armando scoffs, hand going to push the door back but you held on for a bit, which makes the bearded man quirk up a brow. “Let me in, mami. We need to talk…the only way I can get my mind right is if we have a convo.”

“Sounds more like you wanted to interrupt.”

Armando dips his head at your accusation, “Who’s to say his body isn’t already in the dumpster in the alley?”

Scrunching up your summerfridays covered lips you rasp, “…that’s not very jolly of you, ya know?”

“Y/n.”

You sigh, stepping back from the door and allowing Armando in, knowing this would probably be a mistake but instantly felt your heart race as he strolled around your penthouse. The curtains are wide open, showing the view of the city lights in various shades of white and rainbow.

He’s leaning against the window, legs crossed at the ankle as Armando rests his forehead against the cool of glass. Slowly closing his eyes, he exhales, while you try to roll the tension out of your neck, folding your arms as you awaited for him to say what he needed to say so you can kick him right out.

“Is Priscilla slumped out in the passenger seat or something…I don’t know why you’re here?” You begin, the drumming of your heart was getting too loud in the quiet of your home and Armando’s presence was the cause of that.

He rolls his eyes and steps back from the glass, which makes you feel a bit better since you always hated when he looked out into Miami like this. It was humorous, you being afraid of heights but snagged you a spot on one of the highest levels in the building. Sometimes he likes to do it just to work your nerves but tonight he needed strength from the lights that guided him here.

Armando clasps his hands in front of him, which lets you know he’s in serious mode, “We don’t gotta talk about her.”

“But we need to talk about Ronan?” You fired off.

His nostrils flare as he exhaled, “He ain’t important either. You’re a free woman and you’re open to do what you want…but don’t think for a second it’s gonna continue.”

“Oh?” You push your lips out in confusion, “You want to play mind games right now? You can let yourself out cause I’m not doing this with you.”

You make your way over to your couch, plopping down and search for your phone to check the ETA on your late night dinner.

“I said we should talk.” Armando restates while he plops right down on your coffee table, sitting in front of you so you had no choice but to meet his eyes, “…I realized that I really didn’t want to go home to Priscilla and not just tonight.”

“Because she represents everything that you’ve tried…for the most part…to leave in the rearview.” You answer as you tap your chin, “Sounds like something I said to you a minute ago huh?”

“I fucked up,” Armando admits with a nod of his head, “And I’m not gonna ask for you take me back because I know I don’t deserve it, not when it seems like I just dropped you like you dont mean the world to me.”

A tongue goes into your cheek, “If this is how you treat your world…I hate to see what your hell looks like.”

He’s quick with it, “I’m living it, without you.”

“I can’t tell.”

“You know me better than you think.” Armando tells, “I felt like I owed it to myself to just see if something was still there. Cilly and I—we had a connection.”

You pointed out, “That your mother set up.”

“Sure but we’ve leaned on each other with our struggles.”

“And that’s love?” You quizzed.

“I never said it was love. Just that we care for each other…had a partnership.”

You sigh, “I thought we had something special too once.”

“I’m in love with you, mami.” Armando stares hard at you, pressing his elbows into his knees as if to get closer to you but still respecting your space, “So much that it hurts to breathe…which I’ve never felt before in my life…and I didn’t just end up here because of my ego. I ended up here because I can’t go any more nights missing you. I’m sorry for picking my past over my priority.”

At a loss for words, you felt blood rushing to your face and possibly tears on the inside. You weren’t really an emotional drunk, more of a hungry and horny type and you aren’t sure if you wanted to remember any of this in the morning. Armando really hurt you good and to hear him say this while the room was spinning like a carousel, to be so vulnerable when he was used to being a shell, meant a lot.

Feeling like you would crumble, you just sink back into the couch, staring at him with glossy eyes. His hand goes to your knee, you don’t move and your eyes close. His touch seemed to only make your heart drum harder. Sweet words can mean anything but actions were always louder.

Maybe Armando did come to you by some unforeseen light. When your eyes opened to meet his, you saw him in a whole new one, a complex man that you were willing to love once upon a time.

Now it was up to you to choose what you would do with this.

Keep the lights on, let them flicker, or…simply unplug them.

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Continue with my winter anthology prompts here.