#obviously im going through something
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You destroyed the person I was becoming
All our hard work is a grieving memory of future and past
So now I’ll self destruct
And hope someone new rises from the ashes
#obviously im going through something#just let me grieve n be sad for a moment#this is life#personal feelings#personal
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God dude these two scenes and how roxie moves hurt my heart so so bad 🥹
it's like a mix of anger, feral, emotional breakdown, and complete sadness that just fucks me up soooo fucking bad.
it's like she's a pet who got abandoned by their owner but they see them again after years of sadness and depression of them being gone and leaving them like that and all that anger and sadness just manifest's into one bundle of emotion's towards them they cannot control.
roxie baby ur gonna be okay u deserve better :[
#scott pilgrim vs the world#scott pilgrim#scott pilgrim spoilers#scott pilgrim takes off#roxie richter#ramona flowers#its the fucking fact throughout that whole scene after the hammer she just starts going COMPLETELY feral and just bawl her eyes out#throughout the whole irl fight until the movie shelf falls on them 🥹#can she like#get a hug or something i get her so so much i get u gurl im so sorry u gotta go through this#this episode really just#shows how important closure is for a relationship/even a friendship#like of course it depends on the person and the relationship but man.#People don't realize how important it is to not just leave a person behind like that without explanation but instead give them closure about#it and telling them how you feel.#it really is as simple as that sometimes...and i think people forget that and just wanna ghost/leave as fast as possible#to not deal with the emotions of the situation.#Like both roxie and ramona finally just talking about the situation does sm for their future as friends and i loveeee ittt#so so much better then the comics version off them I feel like this is PERFECT.#again obviously theres just some situations where talking just doesnt work and you both just have to move on.#but when theres situation's like roxie and ramona? talking is needed.#talking/closure is so so important guys remember that when its needed. <3
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the next location on the sibling-bonding roadtrip takes us to an airbnb campsite in plumbite cove, copperdale!
#ts4#ts4 gameplay#sims 4 gameplay#postcard legacy challenge#postcard: gen4#(loudly) is anyone gonna give me head for that postcard i made#it came out really well :3c#i plan to send them to granite falls / moonwood mill then del sol valley then mayybe oasis springs then finally back home to chestnut ridge#in my head it's like going from washing to oregon to cali/nevada through arizona and then stopping in new mexico#*washington#i want to do postards for each place they go to but we'll see#im also trying to think of specific gimmicks each place will have#for example copperdale obviously has the ferris wheel. maybe we'll do like bigfoot tours in granite falls. and the walk of fame in del sol#i thought of doing strangerville instead of oasis springs. but either one of them i want like. world's largest ball of yarn or something#if you guys have any ideas i'd love to hear them!!#sim: karlee kamealoha#sim: amaya kamealoha#sim: andrew park
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Kab catches Clown in the act of practicing bloodbending [LIFESTEAL AVATAR AU]
(info and other stuff in cut)
without the blue filter :3
The alts are different ideas i had for the au :3
(i need ideas for other ppl for this au AAAGHH) (send an ask if you wanna give me some ideas :3)
#lifesteal atla#lifesteal atla au#lifesteal avatar au#<- au tag or something#last time i tried posting this tumblr fucked my formatting up so i hope this works😭#Kaboodle#kaboodle fanart#clownpierce#clownpierce fanart#im calling this a lifesteal atla au when its going to have a lot of ppl who arent in lifesteal in it#i mean kab is in this piece so obviously#mcyt#mcyt fanart#lssmp#lifesteal#lifesteal smp#i went through the 5 stages of grief trying format this correctly btw.#heliart
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Genshin Spoilers
Okay okay lemme cook for a second.
Anyone else find the blood purity and relations shit weird?
Like what we know now is that Caribert died at age 8 in the creation of the loom of fate. So therefore Caribert has no heir and was also regarded as an illegitimate child by Clothar and that his mother is of Mondstandt origin. So he is not pureblood which is why he was turned into a hillichurl.
We can make assumptions that Clothar had no other children with this woman or if he did, they are still monsters and not able to repoduce, so therefore there are no halfblood heirs of Clothar.
Next I have to talk about race and geography since I’m such a nerd about this crap. So many characters should have darker complexions based on how much sun they get (Sumeru desert, Natlan, and Liyue, PLAYABLE character not just NPCs.) Like if Mualani looks dark compared to 90% of the cast, we have a problem.
So let’s assume Teyvat is a globe and it’s laid out on a flat map for us to see. Let’s also assume that the climate is similar to earth. Let’s assume the equator is around the center so like above most of Liyue and Sumeru. Parts of Mondstandt being based on Italy, it should have a medeterranean climate, therefore melanin, but I digress. Okay so the Sumeru deserts and Natlan are close to the equator. Inazuma would be closer to the South Pole and has a harsh climate hence people not getting sun. (This is also ignoring places like Fontaine which is based on France, where yes, Black people exist in real life, but I digress). The only playable characters with dark(er) skin as well as NPCs are from Natlan and Sumeru (and also Xinyan for some reason).
We also know from Dainsleif, Halfdan, and the Sinners, that they use Norse names. Also Khaenri’ah being underground would mean they got little to no natural light. So it’s safe to assume pureblood Khaenriahs are white as fuck.
With this knowledge, wtf is going on with Kaeya?
We also have to examine how this curse works. If all the non pure bloods were turned into monsters, it’s safe to assume they can’t reproduce. Also judging by Kaeya very clearly being a child in the past and growing up with Diluc, it’s safe to assume that the modern Khaenri’ahns have a normal lifespan (unless being halfblood is what dictates that). It may have diminished or weakened over time, throughout the generations. We don’t know the exact mechanics but we can assume that Kaeya has a normal lifespan. I know Hoyo is gonna try to say he’s pureblood and not explain stuff but logically, no. When he sees Dain he comments “you’re a pureblood Khaenri’ahn” implying that, he, Kaeya, is not that. Also there’s the Sumeru trip when he was young. Assuming that his father is the one with the Alberich surname, which makes sense judging by how surnames usually work, we can assume that Kaeya’s mother was the one who isn’t Khaenri’ahn.
We can assume that the only Khaenrians who could reproduce from that original cursed generation were the ones who retained human form (pure bloods). We can also assume that Kaeya is a descendent of one of Clothar’s pure blood children. He probably had an affair with Caribert’s mother out of wedlock. We can also assume that more blood mixing naturally occurred over time. So either Kaeya’s family has been mixed for awhile and it’s no big deal, or more likely, Kaeya’s father had an affair with Kaeya’s mother out of wedlock. Judging by how dark he is compared to the majority of characters, his Indian inspired outfit for his in-game skin, the trade trip to Sumeru, when he was young, and the geographical proximity, it’s safe to assume that Kaeya’s mother is probably Sumerian (and likely from the desert and Eremite affiliated). I could go deeper into what I think may have happened but for sake of brevity, it’s very possible and likely that one reason Kaeya was sent as a spy and to Mondstandt and not made an heir to the clan has to do with the fact that he’s an illegitimate child.
Okay, another additional note. Ragnvindr is a Norse name, make of that information what you will.
#sorry but I overthink everything#I have autism#genshin impact#Genshin spoilers#kaeya#khaenri'ah#wtf is going on#abyss order#I have questions#I’m not trying to be racist I’m only observing how the game itself uses skin tone#which is obviously a problem because dark skinned people exist in European countries#and don’t get me started on Sumeru and Natlan#im white but genuinely enjoy diversity because if everyone was like me that would be boring#all types of diversity like race gender age ability etc#if they’re gonna take from those cultures they should commit#point is that this is a separate issue#but something is still up with kaeya#im just observing what’s actually in the game#plus the clothes and stuff#like Kaeya’s alt outfit#no way that dude is Norse#also like geographically#if tayvat is similar enough to earth#it’s not gonna be 1 to 1#but you get the idea#when they made kaeya their either had some big lore planned or were just trying to be diverse and are now backpedaling#if he’s descended from Clothar and he’s normal age the curse must have faded through generations#also question where are all the other immortal people from that curse#where is Clothar#unless I missed something
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This photo was life-ruining for me(and @sweatyflytrap ) honestly....
#wanna make a comp of bahrain 2010 for both seb and nando tbh#probably seperate but#there was something in the air that weekend!!!!#i was religiously looking through seb pics from this race the other month to draw statue seb#and was super enamored w him aasjkfkgl but didnt look too much depeer cause i didnt wanna spoil the podium#and then i finally got here and damn nando looked fucking majestic on the podium#like i was absolutely dying making those gifs bcs he just looked so beautiful#<- i actually made a comp of all the close up shots bcs bark bark bark 😵💫😵💫#AND THEN I GO LOOK UP THE PICS AND MY GOD 🫠🫠 LIFE RUINING#this pic is from before race day obviously but like smth was in the air no?????#all the podium pics live in my head rent free. golden and shining and beautiful#but i also downloaded like...100 pics of him from this race so jusy this one seemed pretty baseline to post#but just know. bahrain 2010. haunts me.#as i said im so irritated it wasnt a vett/onso podium bcs my god both of them were slaying that wknd#well yeha. there's my rant. maybe ill make a comp :)#smth also that i find funny is that he was pretty stubbly for the whole wknd but then#shows up for the race itself smooth like a dolphin....HE KNEW!!! HE KNEW HE HAD TO SLAY!!! HE KNEW HE WAS GONNA BE ON THAT TOP STEP#*lmao maybe my comp post would be titled: 'pics from the 2010 bahrain gp that were life changing'#im looking back at the podium pics rn and its just insane how youthful and bright and pretty he looks#also abt this specific pic. his lashes his big cow eyes his pink lips his fluffy hair GODDDDDDDDS#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#we do a little bit of f1#2010 bahrain gp
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A long list of Clone Wars headcanons just cause
Sometimes Ahsoka will get the zoomies and how she handles that energy is roughhousing with Anakin who's more than willing to participate
It becomes a show for the 501 because seeing the small togruta tackle the lanky ass nightmare that is Anakin Skywalker to the floor is hilarious
They are both guilty of not knowing their strength so some people (cough cough Obi-Wan cough cough) caution them against it they don’t really listen tho which has resulted in some pretty hilarious injuries
One of those injuries happened when they were playing around and Ahsoka shouldered Anakin so abruptly that he fell back on him tailbone and got the wind knocked out of him she sat by his side laughing her ass off
It took her an unreasonable amount of time to realize he was in pain and when she did she started apologizing like crazy she still gets embarrassed when people bring it up and still apologizes years later
There was another time when Ahsoka turned her back to Anakin when they were roughhousing and he pushed her so hard that she almost fell off of the landing platform they were standing on
He snatched her up by the stomach while muttering “I’m so sorry” and then he started frantically checking to make sure he didn’t seriously hurt her while Ahsoka laughed so hard she swears to this day that she pulled something
Unfortunately when the laughter stopped she did realize she managed to sprain her wrist and when Anakin found he helped her wrap it
You’d think that they’d learn from these incidents but nope they still play fight like two big dogs
Even tho Anakin and Ahsoka’s place is pretty clean it’s never really quiet there’s always gotta be some kinda noise
Sometimes it’s Ahsoka’s music playing loudly in her room, sometimes it’s a holomovie in the living room, and sometimes it’s just them bickering in the kitchen
It doesn’t matter what it is it’s never truly quiet even at night there’s a small amount of noise from Anakin’s snoring (which he denies) and Ahsoka’s purring thing (which she also denies)
As crazy as it sounds the people closest to them will admit that their noise is strangely comforting
Anakin and Ahsoka are so freaking similar that it turns heads sometimes they’ll say something the other said but they’ve never heard like “This is where the fun begins”
It’s stopped Obi-Wan in his tracks before it kinda freaks him out and worries him a little bit but it also puts a small smile on his face when the duo says the same thing at the same time
They’re also able to predict how the other will react once Ahsoka was teaching the clones tricks with her saber and they broke it they felt terrible but they were also terrified about Anakin’s reaction
Ahsoka was the only calm one in the room and explained to the group that Anakin would pretend to be pissed for about an hour but then he’d “calm down” and ask for the parted to fix it and by that time rolled around she’d already have his favorite holo prepped and food from Dex’s
They listened to her with a healthy amount of skepticism and were happily surprised to find out the next day that she was right
There was another time when Anakin and Obi-Wan decided to buy Ahsoka her favorite boba to soften the blow that she wasn’t gonna go on a mission Anakin told Obi-Wan that she’d be happy for a minute before asking what happened and he was right
When Ahsoka got closer to Anakin the clones and everyone else she showed her secret passion for acting like she doesn’t know them in public when they piss her off
It worked a couple of times and one of those times Rex almost got arrested because the officer didn’t believe that they were the commander and captain of the 501st Rex didn’t blame the dude because he couldn’t prove it without Ahsoka’s help and she refused to back him up
Ahsoka finally dropped the act when the cuffs came out but she was still kinda reluctant
She did agree to take a break from that prank and she stopped doing it entirely when Obi-Wan had to bail Anakin out of jail (she bought a lot of boba for a very long time to make up for that one)
They will reference the prank occasionally by asking each other at random points in the day “Do I know you?”
Like sometimes they’ll be out and Anakin will ask “Have we met before?” most of the time Ahsoka will answer “No actually we haven’t” (this girl is wearing his cloak he’s wearing one of her headwraps and his arm is resting on her head)
Sometimes Padme will make a big deal of taking Anakin and Ahsoka out to do something just the three of them
Whenever Padme and Anakin show the smallest form of affection towards each other Ahsoka makes a big deal about gagging Anakin makes a bigger deal of “evening it out”
Like if he kisses Padme and Ahsoka gags he’ll grab her and give her a big smooch on the forehead and then like the little shit that he is he’ll whip his lips calling her greasy
She gets him back by whipping the spit off her forehead with his robes (and also backhanding him which Padme kindly ignores)
Padme will sometimes tease her too like if she grabs Anakin’s hand then she’ll link arms with Ahsoka and make a small comment like “There now you’re even��
Sometimes Ahsoka will get them both back in the moments when they check on each other first she’ll make a big deal about saying “Well kriff me I guess” even if she doesn’t have a scratch on her
Both Anakin and Padme will make a big deal about checking her for injuries with a couple of comments like “Oh my poor little padawan you have a scratch from training last night how did you cope”
I said in my first post that Ahsoka and Anakin have a playlist and I love the idea that they have different titles for them like “Obi-Wan’s least favorite playlist” “get ready to kick seppie’s ass” “the council pissed me off again” and stuff like that
It’s all in good fun but they’ll never let anyone else see those titles because they know it’ll get a good scolding from Obi-Wan
The moment Obi-Wan knew Anakin had formed an “unnecessary attachment” wasn’t some big life-or-death moment on the battlefield
In hindsight it was a pretty funny moment that was caused by Anakin’s stupidity cause he had broken a glass earlier that day and he thought he got all the pieces so he didn’t feel it was necessary to tell Ahsoka
Next thing he knows the poor togruta is gasping in pain and when he goes to check on her she’s sitting on the kitchen floor while the mother of all glass shards is sticking out of her foot
Now you might be asking “How did Anakin miss a glass shard the size of his hand?” he honestly couldn’t give you an answer but he could tell you was in that moment he realized that he forgot to restock the med kit even though Ahsoka had reminded him about it earlier that day
All Obi-Wan got to see of this was a blur of Anakin holding his profusely bleeding padawan while yelling at the top of his lungs “Move she’s bleeding out!”
No one can really blame the man for dropping everything he was doing to chase after his former padawan and they also can’t blame him for assuming the worst like her being stabbed or shot
He didn’t know what he was expecting when he walked into the halls of healing but it wasn’t an embarrassed Anakin standing over a cackling Ahsoka as the healers scolded him for causing a scene
He makes a silent note to give Anakin a small lecture about keeping his emotions under control before checking on his giggly grand padawan
#star wars#the clone wars#star wars clone wars#star wars headcanons#anakin skywalker#ahsoka tano#obi wan kenobi#padmé amidala#captain rex#ahsoka and anakin#snips and skyguy#disaster siblings#this duo puts the universe through hell#and it's hilarious#It sucks so bad that while I was writing this I was also coming up with like angsty stuff#like bro im trying to live in denial here#but like can you imagine how hard it would hit Anakin to go back to their quarters and it's quiet for the first time in ever#or like him saying something and he stops because he knows that Ahsoka would say something like that#or when him and Padme go out and he holds her hand he kinda holds his other arm out and waits for Ahsoka to grab it and she never does#or Ahsoka's trying to fix things with Vader before fighting#like trying to use her old methods of making stuff up to Anakin but it obviously doesn't work because she's not talking to Anakin#or Ahsoka looking at the scar on her foot when she was on the run or after order 66#I make myself sad#anyways I'm gonna go cry in a corner now
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heyo spinny!! whats some of your favourite tlg ships? or just any you like in general
EHEHEHE rubbing my hands together. evilly. hehehe
well, kiburi is my pathetic wet cat blorbo and i happen to love all the crackships for him. kiburi x makuu? funny as fuck. kiburi x ushari? love them in nikki's pirate au they keep me up at night. kiburi x janja? the outlands brotp ever. my favourite character's stupid ships my beloved yknow?
in terms of other ships: reirei x goigoi obviously. baobabfruit ofc (thanks to you :] /pos). jasiri x kion because yeah. and as you could never tell (/sarc) i love poly ships so banzai x shenzi x ed, tano x nne x madoa, & kiara x tiifu x zuri are ones i really enjoy too. oh and i'll say timon x pumbaa too since they were my first tlk ship i suppose :]
#it's funny bc. sometimes i think about crackships more than my actual ships#like i got an ask about tamka x nduli and i kept thinking about it. in a /pos way#probably because im open minded to ships and i can see them in a queerplatonic light yknow#idk how to explain it. the best example might be through kiburi#in canon i see him as aroace. but i also enjoy various ships for him and all of those would be in aus#alternatively i could see him being in a qpr. but its kiburi so whoever he was with would have to be really right for him lmao#i like kiburi x ushari for that reason. if you put them in the right setting they just Work. for me#something something everyone has their own view of ships and how characters work with each other#therefore i will never be a ship hater. unless its fucking proship or whatever obviously#sail your ships! if i enjoy em i'll happily hop on board otherwise they can float on by it doesn't bother me#another ramble. i used to enjoy kion x ono a lot#it stemmed from way back when i first watched the show and ono was my favourite#i think i saw them both as demiromantic so they just. worked. to me#nowadays i favour ono x beshte x bunga so there we go#used to have a lot of janja ships back in the day too#idk man the world of shipping is interesting to me#and i ship a lot of stuff :] and im happy about it#endlessly rambles at u in tags hfgdjjdhdhd#thanks for askin :D#asks!!#the lion guard thoughts#the lion guard#tlg#mutuals
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Sort of a ramble, sort of me just writing my thoughts out while I'm stuck with writer's block, but I keep thinking about how Fulcrum was in stasis for roughly 3 million years??
Like, that's a long time, even for Cybertronians. Not a really long time, not an entire lifespan. But still, it's a large chunk of a normal lifespan just gone. Poof.
One second you're crawling across the pockmarked terrain of an alien planet, surrounded by the sound of gunfire, and the shouting and screaming before and after each earth shuddering impact of another k-con hitting the ground. And then it's quiet. You're not there anymore. You're drifting somewhere between not alive and just asleep. Preserved somewhere in the background of a doomed body, ignored by time and space, still here, but also not.
And then there's sound. Not gunfire. Not shouting or screaming. Not the sounds that'll haunt you till your dying days, your own death sentence pounding in your head. No. Just voices, talking, standing out against a silent, dead world. Wondering. Joking. Bickering. Familiar. Just, not familiar to you. And you're awake. Pulled back from the nothingness you've been frozen in, consciousness tugged forwards with the yank of a fuel pump and the nearness of life.
These two moments are roughly 3 million years apart, but only minutes, maybe even seconds, to him. From a hectic harrowing battlefield, to an old silent graveyard in one blink.
How long did it take to really sink in? I mean, he seems to just roll with it. He doesn't seem particularly bothered. But like, what happened outside of what we see? How did he really feel?
Also, his body aged without him. While his mind preserved itself, freezing him as he was right then, his body was left to weather Clemency for all those years. No wonder it crumbled to dust when he jumped off the world sweeper. It's probably a miracle of some kind that it didn't just fall apart each time someone leaned on him.
And even after they rebuild him, give him a better, newer body. His spark, it's casing, all the irreplaceable core bits that make up their inner bodies, it aged in the time without him. Does he feel it? Does it make his body even more foreign to him?
Then he's also a technician with information that's 3 million years out of date. Lucky him that the scavengers probably weren't working with top of the line material. But still it's gotta be weird when faced with anything brand new, because a lot can change and progress in 3 million years, and now some of the knowledge he once prided himself in is obsolete.
Besides those things, his view of the galaxy, of the war, of their kind, of other kinds, is one of the few things actually pointed out when it comes to him being stuck in the past. So, how often were his old views challenged? Facts of life he held close proved to no longer true? There's 3 million years worth of new science, new beliefs, new words, new terms, new views.
And sure, some of it can be familiar, because they're an ever evolving kind, and they have patterns, core beliefs, repeating behaviors, but a lot of it's gonna be unfamiliar at the same time, because it's 3 million years worth of catch up, it's not like missing last week's trend.
In a way, it makes him a living relic of a bygone era for Decepticons. It would've been really interesting to have had that explored a little more.
#rq i wanna say i love seeing others thoughts on these if you have them. esp those that have thought about it longer than i lol#like. im still just starting to sink my teeth into the lore and put things together. so your thoughts are much appreciated#sometimes i wish that i could turn these rambles into those really well worded. slightly pretentious. but in a fun way. character metas?#but i dont think i can organize my thoughts that well. so. rambles it is lol#not to say rambling is lesser or smth tho. i love a good ramble. love to read them. i support ramblers#speaking of rambling-#idk why it fascinates me so. but theres just something rlly interesting about fulcrum being somewhat stuck in the past#i think it could've played interestingly into his and kroks dynamic had it been explored more?#like. the past and history play big parts in their lives. krok having studied it. and fulcrum having been fast forwarded thru it#it would've been interesting to see them talk more about it? since logically fulcrum wouldve gone to krok for more of the 3mill year rundow#and its like. krok is shown to be really knowledgeable on not only history. but cultures as well. theres and others.#so certain eras of their own culture would probably be a slight interest of his. esp decepticon ones.#and then theres fulcrum. who pretty much got plucked from the empire era only to land in kroks lap (metaphorically) ((...unless?))#so heres this walking talking piece of history. and a dude that has a sort of passion for history. why not explore it more?#and like. yeah. the ''history'' krok has studied is all mostly shit he lived through. but people study the times they lived through-#-because while they may have lived through it. theirs is only one perspective. a good historian takes into account multiple perspectives#idk where i'm going with this now. smth smth fulcrum relying on krok for future stuff and krok having someone to talk history stuff with#i just. augh. i wanna know what their dynamic is more. what we see in the comics is so back and forth at times#like. they seem to hit it off pretty well. but then fulcrum fucks it up ig by being oblivious and a little too ''i can fix him'' vibey#and his taste in comedy is bad. to say the least. which is apparently grounds for messy divorce#also krok is sometimes cool with selling a whole dude. at least when the dude is their befriended giant killer autobot buddy :/#that is also grounds for divorce. obviously#sorry. this is derailing the more i start thinking about how messy fulkrok could be. like. ough <3#they're a little ''i hate my wife'' coded. but in a greater scav codependent poly way. and it's more krok being annoyed with fulcrum#its like. fulcrum: ''i can fix him bcs i need to feel validated'' vs krok: ''wtf is wrong with this guy?! who does he think he is??''#i think they'd want to pick each other apart intellectually. maybe emotionally. smth smth two officers. both disgraced. and power dynamics#its fun. they're both hypocrites. they'd need couples therapy. its also 4am. shit. ok goodnight
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btw todd’s reluctance to join the dps because he doesn’t want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (“todd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetings”) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as ‘forceful’ or like he can’t take no for an answer makes me insane with rage
#and him trying to stop neil from asking if todd not reading at the meetings is okay isn’t him wanting not to go#its him not wanting neil to ask because (as someone with social anxiety) it’s EMBARRASSING ASF for someone to ask for things on your behalf#literally just think about it as the meme of ‘when i tell my friend im hungry and he tells his mom that *i* want food instead of both of us’#and the whole ‘neil not knowing how to take no for an answer’ thing…… dont get me fucking started#the kid who’s had to take no for an answer his whole life? the kid whose first proper scene IS him taking no for an answer? are you serious?#being encouraging and accommodating and (admittedly) a little pushy when he’s got his mind set on something—#—is NAWT the same as not being able to take no for an answer or bulldozing through conversations with people#he and todd DO listen to each other in those conversations theyre just on opposing sides—#—because their understandings of the world don’t fully align at that point in time/the movie#which is totally fucking normal?????? because later on they DO properly align?????????#i feel so crazy about this every time i see someone say todd didn’t want to go the dead poets meetings because it’s so obvious he DID#he was just scared#and you know what maybe it IS a little forceful#but given how dedicated todd is to shutting off and hating and isolating himself he NEEDS a little forceful to be broken through to#if no one ever pushed me to do things when i was scared (as irritated as it can make me) i’d never do SHIT dude#and obviously todd is the same way because he ALL BUT OUTRIGHT SAYS AS MUCH#‘i appreciate this concern but i’m not like you’ IS about neil’s voice and opinions mattering to people but it’s ALSO about—#—him being outgoing and trying new things and putting himself out there#WHICH TODD WANTS TO BE ABLE TO DO!!!!!!!!#the moral you take away from todds growth is NOT that he has to change to be accepted because he DOESNT#its that he has to gain the confidence and belief in himself to grow and become the version of himself he WANTS to be#he NEVER changes on a fundamental level to make others happy (although his growth does make others happy) he just opens up more#and i dont know WHY some people think his arc is becoming a completely different person#like yall PLEASE#this isnt even an anderperry thing this is an issue even if you read them completely platonic#i blame the FUCKASS novelization…. dps book you will always be hated by ME#dps#dead poets society#neil perry#todd anderson
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Thoughts on Mumbo Jumbo
he's fine
#IM GOING THROUGH MY INBOX TRYING TO CLEAN IT OUT THIS ONES REALLY OLD FROM LAST YEAR SADJKFH#im looking at everyones requests OTL#for some reasons i have a lot of requests to draw grumbo HAHA did i not draw them for you guys naturally XD#but also im hugely sorry to everyone i cant respond to now#like i dont remember the context or it's obviously too awkward to now#everyone whos drawn something and i told myself 'ill draw a response back' and then never did. im so sorry OTL#weasel speaks#asks!#mumbo#hc
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the latter part of the latest tsv remind anyone else of the premise of that one eskew episode
#I like when romance and/or the family purport to be a happy perfect conclusion but theres something glaringly hollow about it yknow#this episode and the allegra stuff go in kind of opposite directions with hope and unreality ofc. perpendiculars rather than parallels mayb#tsv#the silt verses#op#looking through the transcripts again made me realize dev calls him sebastian instead of seb here.. fucked up!#also it's called a hotel in the stage directions until the very end when C & H get into the car it's 'motel'. significant?#I just like how many angles to the ambiguity there might be. like obviously are they actually still in the rapture and bliss. but also it's#impossible to know what the killing of hope and the new absence of the presence in the motel would have altered if they didnt know it was#there the whole time. seb didnt know he was a priest ..#anyway the eskew transcript for ep 22 is slightly different than what he says in audio and im sad bc I like the audio more. ah well
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we are so fucking back. despite intending to go into vlr/ztd spoiler free i could not handle it anymore and ended up spoiling myself on a few things (...not everything bc its Mostly just related to characters I care abt and im gonna try and gaslight myself into pretending I didn't see it anyway).
but oh my fucking god clocking phi as transfem in the first hour of vlr was some incredible foresight because she is even more transgender than I thought
original post here if anyone wants to see it or my additional reblog but god. im crazy
#trevor.txt#okay obviously i know how this conversation goes later and it's about phi actually having red hair but dying it#but something about the phrasing of it all is kind of. Okay#plus she specifically says she dyes it white because she doesn't like how it looks red#and plus the framing of the character models - from a filming perspective Even Tjough They Are Kind Of Ugly makes it sound like she's going#to reveal something much bigger than just I Dye My Hair Guys. maybe thats part of the joke but like. stick with me here#also it is kind of a stereotype to be like trans = dying your hair but i did. mine's dyed partially blue. i know SEVERAL other trans people#who have or want to dye theirs#^ which is kind of just a funny concidence but also like. has a lot to do with your sense of identity too? cutting/dying your hair for a lo#of trans people is kind of like. a huge part of transitioning or whatever. if this makes any sense because i sound somewhat crazy here? but#it def plays into gender euphoria/dysphoria commonly#in regards to the second point: kind of a weird trope i've seen a few times but when you view it through a transfem lens#it comes across as a gender dysphoria thing a bit#i would know from my own experiences. like it's obviously kind of the other way around bc im a trans Guy but like...#and then the last image. okay man. this was in the trivia section for ztd.#i don't even think i have to explain that one#anyways i sound a bit crazy with this but like. does anyone understand me. do you get it.#zero escape#zero escape phi#zero time dilemma#ztd#phiposting
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the diehard clara hater/lover quiz is fun because some of the lover descriptions feel like they're describing the most toxic evil person on planet earth and it's like guys i think we have all forgotten the fact that canonically she is twelve's one tie to earth and has to remind him of how to care about people. and like she dies in a doctor-esque sacrifice to save someone. she just reflects the worst qualities of the doctor she is not an evil possessive selfish girlboss woman. i do wish she was more awful though i think it would be funny to have a sole companion like that making the doctor worse
#i feel like the writing about her is not 100% solid. if there's this much range in interpretation going on#although it may be fandom reading comprehension or whatever#i wish she was in more episodes of s9 to flesh her out more and develop her relationship w twelve more gradually#i wish we got to see why she is so dissatisfied with just having one life. and stuff exploring her life on earth#before she met the doctor. and why she reflects the doctor's uglier qualities. as opposed to many other companions before her#that instead became the hero of the story in the doctor's place (rose + bad wolf. martha walking the earth. doctordonna)#her relationship w danny feels wrong like she is just going through the motions w him. girl what is it ur drawn to abt him#there is quite obviously something wrong with her. i just feel like we needed to see more of what that something was#and dont say its the impossible girl stuff. thats the worst shit ive seen in my whole fucking life#quite possibly the most heinous arc for a companion of all time and im glad deep breath continues on like its not real#if there are any clara enjoyers out there feel free to monologue in my inbox about her. i think theres smth about her i don't really get.#like im missing a piece of the puzzle or something.#dr who#12 era
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idk i feel like as a nonwhite cis woman i feel a lot more solidarity with trans girls than i do with white cis women... the idea of self-made femininity. in my experience i was very masculinized growing up... i never really felt like a girl. and being fat didn't really help lol. its only in recent years as i discover more about myself and how i want to present that i'm choosing to be feminine instead of it just being expected of me from sOcIeTy or whatever. even now especially i don't feel much solidarity with white cis women tbh. between bad personal experiences and seeing it in society its just like.. well lol. idk i guess im just trying to say i think my experience growing up as a brown cis girl aligns more with a trans girl than it does with a white girl
#i grew up around of white girls. and lol. being so obviously treated different is something like damn#idk id anyone who was following me at the time is still around but i used to identity as nb and use they pronouns and after a while#i realize it wasn't right for me and what i was feeling was likely complications with femininty from the way i grew up as brown and fat#around a bunch of white catholic schools. lol but going through that has only made me more confident in my gender and i do feel like i have#more of an understanding even though im cis
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imagine listening to music that wasn’t written or performed by at least one gallagher brother lol makes no sense. couldn’t be me
#can you all just be nice to me in this time of crisis#obviously im Going Through Something and I need support#I didn’t want this I didn’t ask for it or plan for it#but god gives his most obscure struggles to his most obsessive children
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