#now you lot can review me

[review-anon]

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Merry Christmas!

I like to thank you guys for helping out, as I had some ideas but well...most of the effort here was made by you guys pitching in.

Sure not everything went to plan and there was a few disasters here or there, but in the end it all worked out.

Thanks for helping out for the first arc of this blog. This was originally meant to be a one off to test the waters to see if Review Anon can handle a askblog or not.

And let's face it, I don't think things are going back to normal anytime soon as this is the new normal.

Was this arc perfect? Of course not some ideas weren't great in execution, the pacing at the start was awful and its very clear Review Anon didn't have a good idea what to do with this arc.

The Void Juice Plotline was a prime example of that because while it was always meant to be part of the lore around here, it wasn't meant to come this early.

Also thanks for the great reception for characters like myself who haven't made much appearances on other blogs.

I know I'm on DTFA but let's face it...its kid me and she didn't...have the best reception. Though on the plus side me being here has helped out my other self on there.

Also if we ignore the Void Juice Monsters, there wasn't going be much of a villain this arc, with Review Anon being the main role...

But lets be real its a toss up between myself and Sannoji who was the villian of this arc.

Also Review Anon didn't even know if me and my class could be here...but once we got the green light, we were here.

And thank you for being here.

Thanks everyone for helping to make this arc the way it is.

I will do a more serious write up on this later on my overall thoughts for this arc plus the reviews from everyone else.

Which feels very confusing that I get reviewed for once, but that's how the cookie crumbles. I just know Critic Anon is gonna be harsh.

Either way, thanks for tuning in for the first arc of this blog and when we come back next time love will be in the air!

Indeed it would as me and Young will try to teach Review Anon about the joys of life and romance as we spread the greatest gift.

Although given how...interesting Review Anon's tastes are...its gonna be a hoot!

Hey don't insult my tastes.

Just be glad Project Eden Garden characters aren't due yet or else Kayura would have really tore you a new one.

Yes yes...we can deal with them later.

Anyway that's all we got, goodbye and thanks for being with us until the end of this arc! Goodbye!

//Kana's Christmas Adventure has come to a end!

[plu-mo]

peakoh update doots yayge

i made a self indulgent character out of Elosie hoo hoo ha haacringe cringe cringe someone beat me to death cringe-

the concept is that she’s nene’s boring boring roommate. buuut she covers the rent when nene falls short- so nene really cant boot her. (especially when certain missions take longer than expected to complete)

i will probably never draw this eloise alt again- but the doodle sheet was fun lol

[frobby]

my feelings about Yukio and his relationship with rin are that I feel like he so desperately wants to communicate with rin, to reconnect with him but he doesn't know how. They live together, they've lived together for years but slowly they've been drifting apart mentally and it's getting harder and harder to communicate. Yukio understands the idea of his brother. His reckless brother who loves him that he wants to protect because he's spent his whole life protecting him. But doesnt actually know that much about his brother personally and neither does rin for Yukio. Years apon years of keeping eachother at arms length it's hard to go back to when they were inseparable as kids and things were easier. At the beginning of the show they're both grieving but Yukio can't confide in rin. He just can't because he's the authority figure, he's the one in charge, he's the one with his life together and if that slips then he's really nobody just like when he was a kid and having his brother protect him but that backfires on him cuz he still after years and years even now when his secret double life as an exorcist has been revealed. He still can't figure out how to communicate with his brother.

[quaranmine]

On Wednesday before I gave my presentation I confessed to a new employee that I was worried it would be too long and she brightly told me her life hack was to just let AI rewrite things for her. She said I should put in all my talking points and ask ChatGPT to give me a five minute exactly presentation. I was like....how is the most polite possible way (since this is a new colleague I shouldn't get off on the wrong foot with) that I can express that I will Not be taking this advice. Ever. I told her that I didn't think we were allowed to use ChatGPT at this job (we most certainly are not, it is a nightmare for any type of protected information) and also that I prefer to write all of my own work. Despite my best efforts the last part of that was still passive aggressive, lol.

Something about being a writer makes it so that it's almost offensive to me for someone to suggest I use AI to do my work instead? Like, the day I reach the point where I let AI write something for me is the day y'all need to be checking me for brain damage because clearly I'm losing it

[supercantaloupe]

okay don giovanni review from last night. under the cut bc it's me. tldr the vocal performances were great, leporello carried the show, one of the most insane productions i've seen thus far but somehow in a new bizarre direction from normal. good snacks.

first of all i don't care how much wine you offer i think it's kind of ridiculous to charge $165 for a base ticket price for a performance that 1. isn't even in a concert hall or theater 2. is a concert performance rather than a staged performance (which was not advertised ahead of time) and 3. was not even a full production because they made the absolutely mind boggling decision to cut 100% of the recitative and replace it with Some Guy sitting on the stage narrating the plot between every 1-3 numbers

i did not pay that much gd bless. the student ticket was way cheaper.

the narration wasn't even good it was weirdly ungenerous to the women (like how do you even make elvira out be a "women, amirite" thing and also vaguely imply anna was into it in a production with zero acting? well they figured something out) and i don't think it even explained well enough what happens between each number to truly give a first time watcher a good idea of what's actually going on. not to mention that it absolutely kills any sense of momentum in the plot and makes the entire show drag like hell, because you have to wait between every single aria for either Some Guy to talk at you for three minutes straight, or wait awkwardly while people onstage walk off and people offstage walk on. it was so painfully clunky

they had a piano up there but since there was no recit it's not like she was accompanying much of anything. in practice what it ended up being used for was 1. the mandolin part for deh vieni (acceptable in the absence of a mandolin player; they were working with a limited chamber ensemble of musicians so i get it) 2. the party music at the end of act i (egregious fault imo because it absolutely kills the vibe of the scene and completely obfuscates the way the music is supposed to be adding to the tension and chaos with its different instrumental groups playing in different meters)

and 3. used to give singers their notes when the vocal line of their arias start on beat 1 measure 1, which they otherwise would have been able to get from the preceding recits (which is imo painfully amateurish for an ostensibly professional production)

all the numbers in act i were there although the narration was so bad i got jumpscared by fin ch'han dal vino because i forgot it was supposed to be there and thought we had skipped over that point in the plot. act ii had some really bizarre additional cuts made, notably they just entirely skipped over meta di voi and vedrai carino. it was like masetto and zerlina fuck off for the entirety of act ii save for, like, mille torbidi (they VERY briefly mentioned masetto getting beat up in the narration and i don't think they mentioned vedrai carino at all, they just skipped straight from deh vieni to sola sola. and also there was a painful awkward pause before deh vieni because i think the pianist forgot she was supposed to play there and the narrator jumped ahead to the next chunk of plot explanation too early). kept both dalla and tesoro (i'm fine with this ottavio was quite good though could've used a bit of ornamentation imo), kept mi tradi, kept non mi dir (more on that in a bit). no per queste which is probably a good thing not only for the show itself but also my head would have absolutely and irreversibly exploded if they had, probably

the whole thing kind of felt underrehearsed. like a quarter of the time it seemed like people didn't know what they were doing or had to be reminded where to be at that point in the show. and there were a few moments throughout where the orchestra struggled to keep up with the singers, but i really don't think they had much time to rehearse together, honestly.

and then, to my utter shock, the finale was actually really good?? like. insane compared to the rest of the show thus far. though it helps that 1. i absolutely love the harmonieband arrangements of cosa rara/i litiganti/non piu andrai, after possibly the draggiest non mi dir i've yet experienced it was like a breath of fresh air to hear that (and non mi dir was actually well performed i liked this anna but considering how much the Entire Show was dragging, the fact that they cut meta di voi and vedrai carino, AND the fact that they promised this act would be short, it felt crazy to me to keep it at that point.)

2. leporello and the don were by far the best performers of the night. so much so that i sought them out during the post show reception to tell them how great they were and enjoyed their performance. which i usually do not do, but in this like, high school recital ass production value. unbelievable relief that the final scene is dominated by the two actors in the show who most remembered that they can, and in fact Should, be acting. so much more movement and physicality and expression from those two compared to most everyone else. leporello especially, his actor apparently specializes in comedic bass roles and it shows, he was the standout all night

and 3. for the first time in the entire production they made an interesting decision regarding the physical space and staging! they had the commendatore sing from up on a balcony overlooking the audience in the foyer. the bar admittedly was set very low in the previous act and a half but the finale reminded me that i actually like this show again which is appreciated

though they then threw another curveball at me by Cutting the sextet at the end. which like didn't even piss me off at that point i was just baffled. like the don sinks down in agony and leporello sinks down whimpering in fear and the orchestra cuts off. and i'm expecting an awkward pause while they quietly get up and shuffle off so the rest of the cast can come back but nope. big orange title slate appears on the big screen behind them and the audience breaks into a roaring applause and the announcement of the wine and dessert reception. felt like i was in a fever dream

i will say the desserts were very nearly almost worth the bullshit that was the preceding show. they were so good. thank you austria for your dedication to pastry. and because i don't drink and couldn't appreciate the free wine offered i had to indulge in my own manner. spread contained chocolate oat bites (tasted as much like espresso powder as chocolate and coated in coconut, 4/10), almond sponge cake (classic, 7/10), cardamom apple bread pudding with caramel cream (not enough cardamom but otherwise very tasty and autumnal, 8.5/10) and honey cake (11/10. i don't know how they made this so good. i want more right now so much). i take both my mozart opera and my desserts very seriously.

anyway overall the production was. i would say frustrating. the singing quality was Really Good (leporello was the clear standout, probably followed by the don though i prefer my dons with a lighter voice but technically he was very good, then probably ottavio, then maybe masetto or anna. the commendatore was great but he's in it so little it's hard to compare)

i just wish they could have, like, actually done a full production. it would have been so great if they had gotten to tell the actual story and had been fully allowed to act. when there Was acting were the best moments of the show, and it's really unsurprising that most of that came from leporello, the absolute legend.

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

genuine question but is there any fandom where a character is well written by the majority. im thinking about fandom culture and the spread of frustration when people dont write characters well but. honestly in all the fandoms ive been in there's only like, a Select number of authors who i trust to write Well, let alone write Well AND In Character. character analysis and writing and getting inside characters' heads are all separate skills (all of which are trained by roleplaying fyi can CONFIRM playing pretend with your friends is good for you). there's been more than once where I've disagreed with an interpretation that others agreed with, and then I turned out wrong. or i turned out right. like it doesnt matter WHO is right it just matters that differences in character analysis exist, so even if you DO write well AND write in character, your in character is still going to be someone else's out of character

there's this sort of. vibe. that to play in the sandbox you Need to be able to make a castle, and if you can't make a castle then you shouldn't bother, and it completely dismisses the idea that youre in that sandbox to PLAY in the first place. there's this Weight of disappointing someone if you can't build something that they like, but that forgets that you aren't there to build them a castle. like, be KIND. if you disagree with someone then please make an effort to do so kindly. i dont give a shit about fandom discourse but there is a reason kids get removed from sandboxes if they keep throwing sand in people's eyes. but if they don't like your misshapen sand pile, then youre not obligated to change it. even if you yourself end up hating that same sand pile later- youre not building a legacy. youre playing. and sometimes the result of that play is out of character drivel. theres a reason there are so many authors and so few who i like to consistently read and thats because everyone is Fucking Around in their hobby space. hash tag brag or whatever but i can build castles. ive built several that im v proud of. ive also dug holes in the sand for fun and then tripped on them when trying to get up. I often dug a hole and then got up and fucking- whoops, its a castle now, and i didn't realize i'd made something to be proud of until after the fact. the whole time while creating shit i was Convinced it was bullshit that didn't make sense. and then other times i was Convinced it was bullshit and then i was Right and i can look back and go. huh. ew. but it doesn't matter what the end result was, because i had fun playing in the sandbox

this wasn't meant to turn into a ramble but i have Feelings about bad art and art that's badly perceived and how public perception can screw with your head and how making art youre proud of is fucking. it's so difficult!!! it's hard!! it's really fun, which is why i try to make it, but i promise you it is Okay to not tryhard creativity. even if you CAN, it's okay not to do it all the time. or ever, even. fuck around find out have fun etc

[arendaes]

Few things:

Osana decided to test the beliefs she'd been brought up on in the ultimate way - by deciding that maybe punitive justice isn't the answer to everything.

Despite what I said the other day...Kai's growing on me. In THAT way. 🫣

[elegyofthemoon]

wait actually this one post makes a good point i wish there was actually tags to separate between hsr and hi3 bronseele and on that note actually any of the overlapping characters alskdjfha but the search engine sucks ass on this website so you'll always have overlap either way i think :I

[dapperrokyuu]

Read ~60 chapters of Chainsaw Man today, WHEWWWWW-

[fazcinatingblog]

One night was washed out with heavy rain, the next night was too dangerous, and now the hurricanes decide to just pack it all in for not much???? Big bash is dead.

[roseband]

oof i just realized since i have a newer phone now and outlook app works on it, not only can i work on teams off my wrist, but i can do EMAILS off my wrist

[mechazushi]

Pink [It's my Favorite Color] {A Kaiju Number 8 Short Story} <Smut>

Tags] IhaReno, Breif Mention of KafHoshi, Intense Making-Out, Hickeys, Unprotected Sex, Love Hotel, Creampie, Mild Intoxication (just a liquid courage amount, not enough for questionable consent.) Scratching/Bruising, Cock Worshipping, Iharu Is A Blushing Mess. (Let me know if there was anything else I should have tagged.)

{So originally, I wanted to write this story in such a way that the pace of it matched the rhythm of the song, but I very quickly realized that I physically CAN'T bring myself to write something that can be read in under 4 minutes. In the end, this is just here to let yall know that this story was directly inspired by this song. and to explain away the sudden appearence of Reno's cock-worshipping mindset, iykyk,}

Holidays always managed to slip past Reno. If it wasn't for his classmates all around him getting excited for them, he probably would have grown up ignoring it altogether. As sad as it was, it was mainly because he never really felt close enough to anyone to bother keeping track of them. This time... this time was different. He felt like he had finally met someone worth celebrating with. Or, for the sake of the holiday, had someone to ask to be his Valentine.

The division liked to go a little extra for the holidays. Nothing crazy like catered parties and live music, but had been known to rent out a building or two. For Valentine's Day, they had decided to buy out a ritzy bar that was off a secluded side street. It was a fairly new bar that had started to develop rave reviews, to the point that most people in the Third Division had heard of it. Everyone wanted to show out. Got new outfits, wore make-up, the works. Haruichi even offered and encouraged some if the guys to wear make-up as well.

Reno was standing outside of the bar in as nice of an outfit he could bring himself to wear. He wore a pair of white slacks with matching shoes. He had Haruichi help slick his hair back, but for the trouble was forced to at least try on this shimmery pink eyeliner he had bought for the occasion. It was a justified reason as it matched the Star of his outfit, a very loudly patterned, button up, pink, silk dress shirt. Everyone had kept telling him that he looked fine, but on the inside he felt more like a disco floor reject.

As he looked at the entrance of the bar, his arm was abruptly nudged by Kafka and the bottle he was holding. For some reason, he had decided to buy a bottle of Hennessy and was passing it around the group. Not everyone could get off at the same time, so him and Kafka were a part of a group of late-comers. Reno wasn't really fond of the idea of pre-gaming, but he had to admit that between showing up late and going into this party with a plan and a purpose had made him incredibly nervous. Taking the bottle, he quickly swallowed the last sip of the harsh liquid and hissed at its taste.

Tossing the bottle away, the group lined up and made their way inside. Letting his eyes adjust to the dark interior, his attention was first caught by the subtle heart decor. All there was to see was some pink and red heart shaped paper doilies hanging from the ceiling. Other than that they had changed the back lighting behind the bar to a rotating pattern of hot pink, red, and white. For the most part they let the dark wood walls and leather furniture speak for itself. The main draw in for the place seemed to be the new Valentine's Day drink menu. Reno casually saddled up to the bar and ordered something fancy sounding with creme liquor and strawberry juice. While it was being made, his eyes flowed over to his person of interest sitting down at the other end of the bar.

Iharu Furuhashi, dressed subliminally punk as usual, only now he made his style match tonight's theme as well. He had freshly dyed his Mohawk in its ever present pink color, but had made the tips of his spiky locks a vibrant red. Thick silver rings adorning most of his fingers matched the square metal studs that lined his leather biker jacket. He wore a pink turtle neck sweater that was cropped and matching high tops, both of which framed a pair of low cut jeans so tight they looked painted on. He was leaning back against the bar while engaged in some apparently hilarious commentary as he nursed a large mug of pink beer.

Reno felt incredibly nervous just sitting at the same bar he was at. For a while the two of them had been in this give-and-take, playfully competitive relationship. At first, Reno just went along with it because he figured that's just how Iharu liked his friendships. It was all pretty harmless, just some combative banter in the basic "Anything you can do, I can do better" format. But lately, it had started to feel different. More... charged. Ambitious, even. Reno wasn't slow, he could tell when he was being flirted with, but this was the first time he couldn't tell if Iharu was playing it off as a joke or if he wanted to be serious.

It didn't help that Reno had come to terms with the fact that he actually did want Iharu to be serious. He liked the casual competitiveness, he liked the intense energy, he liked having someone there to push him and to have someone there to push back. And maybe, just maybe, a part of him got off on the fact that there might be a chance he could make that feeling exclusive. He wasn't possessive by nature, but he did like that it filled a niche part of his brain that apparently decided that it would like a deeper relationship. Especially if he could have it with the one person that could give him that intense feeling on tap. He may not look like it, but as it turns out, Reno... liked 'em loud.

As he sat there sipping on his cocktail, a large and unignorable presence had decided now would be a good time to annoy him. Kafka had plopped onto the bar stool next to him and quietly ordered a rum and coke. As it was put in front of him, he turned and nodded to get Reno's attention. After he got it, he jutted his chin toward the other end of the bar, obviously pointing out Iharu and the lack of Reno existing next to him. Reno flexed his eyes in a way of him saying that he's working on it, only to have Kafka roll his eyes back at him. Taking a sip of his coke, he grabbed Reno's drink with the same hand and abruptly gripped the back of his pants with the other. Reno yelped as he felt himself getting lifted out of the seat and being forced to walk toward Iharu's direction.

As Iharu was turned around, Kafka slammed Reno's drink on the counter and dropped him into the seat next to the punk. Reno threw his arms out wide, wanting to yell at him for his behavior, but Kafka had already left him in the dust. He was left gobsmacked as watched Kafka head to the other side of the room and quietly slipped his hand into the Vice Captain's back pants pocket. With the sound of the drink hitting the counter, Iharu turned around just in time to notice Reno suddenly sitting right next to him.

"Sweet Jesus!" Iharu exclaimed as he gave Reno an appreciative look-over, "Look at you, Hot Stuff! New fit and everything!"

Reno immediately felt a rush of blood hit his face as he gave into a knee-jerk reaction of covering his mouth and looking away.

"Ahh, sorry. Too much?" Iharu murmured with an apologetic smirk.

"N-no, just." Reno stammered as he forced himself to look back, "Last thing I expected you to say, I guess."

"Yeah, sure, but can you really blame me? With the way you're stunnin' everyone tonight." Iharu remarked as he reached over and lightly slapped the back of his hand against Reno's arm.

"Please, I look like I stepped out of the 70's." Reno scoffed as he took a sip of his drink. He immediately felt like biting his tongue as the words left his mouth. After all, he only picked the shirt out because it reminded him of Iharu.

"Nah, man! All you have to do is just act like your naturally cool self and take a lap. Trust me, you're gonna send everyone here flying flat onto their ass." Iharu continued to try his best to keep his partner's confidence up, but it was clear to the both of them that he was laying the compliments on thick tonight.

"Kinda like how I handled your ass back in training yesterday?" Reno reflexively countered with the first thing that came to mind. Now he just felt like cutting out his tongue because who responds to something like that! He came here to ask Iharu out, not dunk on him! Thankfully, not all hope was lost as he heard a hearty laugh come from his man of the hour.

"Hey, just know that if picking up people was like a fight, you'd have already swept me off my feet." Iharu couldn't bring himself to look at Reno as he tossed out his cheesiest line, but the embarrassment didn't stop his hand from reaching down to Reno's thigh and mask some gently yearning squeezes behind a friendly pat. Reno's gaze flickered between the hand that was just on his leg and the slowly building blush Iharu was currently trying to hide in the dimly lit bar.

"Well, someone's decided to stop being subtle tonight." Reno thought. This was good. Amazing, actually. Against all odds, this was starting to turn into something he felt like he could work with.

"Have to admit though, did not think you would come in here wearing something pink in the first place." Iharu cleared his throat as he spoke, trying to dissipate the sudden tension he didn't mean to make.

"Oh, why's that?" Reno asked, hoping it would lead to something he could play off of.

"Well, I mean... not to lay claim to an entire portion of the color spectrum, but pink's always been kinda my thing. Ya know?" Iharu commented as he side-eyed Reno from behind his beer mug, "Can I ask what made you want to take the color out for a spin?"

Reno bit at the rim of his glass so he could force down an evil chuckle at what he was about to say. He began to hope that he hadn't been reading Iharu wrong this whole time and that his stupid, half-thought out plan was actually about to work.

"This, uh, might come as a surprise to you, but-" Reno started to speak, but interrupted himself so he could throw a leg over Iharu's lap. Leveraging the heel of his shoe into the swivel seat he was on, Reno forced Iharu to face him as he got as close as he could comfortably get in such a position. Placing his chin in his hand, Reno tried to communicate his real intent through his gaze as best he could as he finished his previous thought.

"-Pink is actually my favorite color." He smirked.

Saying pink was his favorite color seemed to be the right choice. It wasn't long before the two of them slipped away from the party and ended up passing through an emergency exit door that opened out into a secluded side alley. If Reno wasn't getting slammed onto the wall next to it, he probably would have started questioning how the alarm didn't immediately go off. However, he was currently getting his hips firmly pressed up to the wall as Iharu took the lead and started to enthusiastically attack Reno's mouth with his.

Small gasps and stilted moans echoed down the alley as Reno fisted the leather jacket. He had to forcefully unclench his hands to move them anywhere, and could tell they were shaking as he shifted them under the jacket. His hands traced the hem of the pants, ghosting over the strip of exposed skin that revealed Iharu's prominent hips, and up the front of the sweater. He felt lost in the kiss as he hands squeezed the soft fabric, a lackluster attempt to keep him grounded. As his hands came around the back of the sweater, he suddenly felt a cool expanse of smooth skin underneath the jacket.

"Holy shit, is this backless?" Reno pulled away in surprise as his hands quickly traced the edges of the hidden opening.

"Surprise." Iharu chuckled darkly, "Wait till you see the back of the collar." He began to kiss and nip a path down Reno's jaw to his neck, loudly relishing the taste of his skin.

Intrigued, Reno quickly pulled a hand back out and roughly pulled on the back of the coat. Iharu shimmied his shoulders a little to expose the back of his neck. Reno pulled his head more to the side so he could look over more. Sure, it made his collar bone vulnerable to Iharu's viciously lovely nipping, but now he could see what he was talking about. A wide, bright pink, silk bow was the only thing holding the collar around the neck, and by proxy the rest of the sweater.

"Fuuuck," Reno roughly gasped, "Who knew you could be so adorable?"

"You're about to find out just how -fucking- adorable I can get, Sweet Heart." Iharu smirked as he earnestly licked over all of the reddened pinpricks he left all over Reno's clavicle.

He slotted a leg in between Reno's and forcefully pulled his hips over it, making him grind on Iharu's thigh. Reno moaned loudly as one of his legs came up and locked its ankle behind the one he was rubbing up on. The one hand that was still under the jacket dug and scratched a short ways down Iharu's back, causing a stuttering gasp as he bit a trail back up the other side of Reno's neck. Hot breaths and warm tongues collided as their grips on each other tightened.

Reno felt like he was floating through heaven. This was everything he felt like he was craving and more. He had wondered if their push-and-pull friendship would carry over into something like this, and now that he had it, he hoped he wouldn't ever have to go back to how they were before. Not after getting a taste of what it would be like to push someone over the edge of ecstasy and get dragged along on the journey. It felt like being both the passenger and the tracks of a roller coaster, just building and waiting and hoping this crazy ride wouldn't end.

Reno's mouth became even more eager as he continued to feel Iharu's back get warmer under his hand. As it traveled around, it drifted south and made a home on Iharu's ass, groping it and forcing their hips impossibly closer together. He felt like he couldn't get enough of their carnal contact as he tried to get Iharu to grind back. The hand that was on the jacket pulled forward and tried to shove itself in between them, beginning to desperately paw at the matching studded belt buckle. Reno quickly became distracted with the endeavor, panting as he pulled away from the intense and sloppy make-out to curse out the unbroken leather of the new belt.

"Well shit! Someone's eager tonight." Iharu rasped as he licked away Reno's taste on his lips.

"Wanna touch it." Reno quietly whined, "Wanna watch it and feel it and taste it and make you make a mess of yourself." His chest and legs felt like they were on fire as he brought the other hand around to unbuckle the stubborn belt.

"Whoa there! Out here in this alley? We're gonna get caught, Doll." Iharu huskily teased as he held Reno's hands in place.

Reno pouted at the obstruction before diving forward and sucking Iharu's lips back into his mouth. He licked and nibbled on them as he harshly tugged on the belt, slamming his lover back on his heated body.

"Don't make me wait for this." Reno pleaded as he flipped them around and pressed Iharu up against the wall this time, capturing his lips again.

Iharu humored him for a second before rudely shoving him backwards. Reno stumbled for a moment, face wide with shock and fear and was left wondering if he overstepped something. He was left even more confused as Iharu snagged his wrist and started to drag him out of the alley and down the sidewalk. Reno turned back to watch the bar's entrance quickly become farther and farther away before turning back to look at Iharu's smug expression.

"Who said I was going to?" He remarked.

Very quickly understanding what Iharu was offering, Reno stopped dragging his feet out of concern and immediately matched his partner's rapid pace. The two of them broke out into a run, dodging pedestrians left and right with no idea where they were going but never letting go of each other's hands. The two of them kept running for a while, knowing what they were looking for but had to find it first. They didn't have to go much farther as they eventually found a brightly decorated hotel that had gone all out on the heart shaped holiday decorations.

Bursting through the doors, Reno reached the frosted check in window first and made the reservation. After getting the key, he was abruptly pulled along by Iharu and almost shoved into the elevator. Their lips never broke contact the second they got in, but had to break apart pretty quickly afterward as their room was only on the next floor up. Reno fumbled with the door key for a second, getting distracted by Iharu planting eager kisses on the back of his neck. Everything paused for a moment once they finally got the room open.

Pink. The whole room was pink. Pink walls, pink sheets, pink fluffy rug and shear curtains, pink tulle bunting on the ceiling held up with heart shaped string lights made out of that squishy rubber bead material. There was even a five-ish foot tall pink lava floor lamp rippling in the corner of the room. Reno suddenly remembered what he said earlier about pink being a favorite color and now wanted to eat his words. Iharu wasn't deterred in the slightest and looked around the room in delightful amazement.

"That's coming back with us." He laughed as he pointed to the lamp.

Reno spun on his toes and slammed Iharu up against the door of the room, silencing any more creative ideas from the audacious punk.

"We are not stealing the lamp from the fucking love hotel." Reno muttered as he punched his lips back onto Iharu's.

His lips traveled quickly down Iharu's neck as he tried to catch up to the amount of hickeys he was sporting on his own neck. As Reno sucked and licked dark patches on the plains of his neck, Iharu got to work unbuttoning his shirt.

"Come on, it'd look great in that one corner of the barracks." Iharu gasped as his head collided against the door, stretching his neck to give Reno more room to work with.

"It's definitely not going into the Divisions's personal shrine." Reno growled around the chunk of flesh in between his teeth, thinking about the pile of sacred junk everyone prayed to before missions.

"Aww, you're no fun!" Iharu whined playfully as he got to the last button on the shirt.

Feeling freed from the confines of the shirt, Reno took his cue to drop to his knees in front of Iharu, "Fun? I'll show you fun." He threatened salaciously.

He began to nuzzle against the stretched outline of Iharu's hard cock in the tight pants. Lightly mouthing over it as he gripped and squeezed those firm and defined thighs. Iharu gasped over and over, mainly from shock, as he watched Reno place light kisses over the now wet jeans and went back to fumbling with the stiff leather belt. Reno wasted no time in getting the dark jeans down far enough to free the boxers so he could get to the hard member. Pulling those down too, he let himself take a minute to watch the cock bounce free in front of his face.

Reno couldn't stop himself from biting his lip as he admired it. He tentatively brushed his cheek against the scorching skin before littering it in airy kisses. Airy kisses turned into teasing kitten-licks turned into full-on lapping mouthfuls as he got more confident he was treating Iharu right, if the stuttering and shaking gasps was anything to go by. Reno moved on from the shaft towards the leaking tip and gently sucked it into his wet mouth. He gripped its length and lapped at the salty precum that came out. Reno lightly sucked on the sensitive tip, quietly moaning and eye lids fluttering as he felt Iharu's shaky hands grabbed small fistfuls of his hair and tightened on them.

Reno wasn't afraid to admit to himself that he might have liked dick more than the average person. Even knowing he was gay, there was something about how they were shaped and felt and looked that he couldn't get enough of. He never completely understood that quiet voice in the back of his head that slowly got louder and louder when he was in the bath house with other guys, but since it never really got him in trouble before he just let it simmer in the back of his mind. That was the case until Reno met him. Something broke in the back of his mind when he met Iharu in the recruitment ceremony.

That little voice was quiet at first, but it stunned Reno nonetheless by the fact he hadn't even seen Iharu naked yet. That small voice really wanted to apparently because he couldn't stop himself from trying to see what kind of peak he could sneak every time they got together. For the most part, he just chalked it up to that weird little obsession of his, not wanting to explore any further with it at the risk of accidentally making Iharu uncomfortable. But now that he had it in front of him, he finally understood. To Reno, it looked perfect. The perfect shape, size, color, even taste.

It wasn't ungodly long or wide, just a bit longer than his fist and wide enough that he could still fit his mouth around it. Iharu tasted only slightly bitter, but mostly salty and not to a point it bothered him. Reno even felt a little insane thinking that he even smelled good, not knowing what it was but still wanting more of it. What he liked most about it was the color. A little redder than Iharu's natural skin tone with a bulbous, hot pink tip. How his brain instinctively knew that Iharu's dick was perfect for him, he would never know.

But it certainly made Reno wonder if pink really was his favorite color.

Feeling bolder, he slowly sunk down on Iharu's cock as he tongued the underside of it. He eventually felt it prodding the back of his throat as it made tears well up in his eyes. He tried not to choke on its length while his tongue and lips danced at its base, nose digging into the ghostly patch of fine hair just under Iharu's navel. The hands in Reno's hair began to pull tighter once one of his hands came back up to play with his balls. Iharu began to cry and curse louder as Reno started to slowly bob his head.

"Oh, Fuck!" Iharu growled as his fingers flexed and scratched at Reno's scalp, completely ruining his neatly combed hair

Reno couldn't care about anything right now. His knees were stinging and his pants had long since become uncomfortably tight. His jaw was burning and he could feel his saliva dripping down his chin. One or two tears had fully escaped his eyes and fell down to mix itself in with the rest of the mess he was becoming. He could feel his throat getting sore but the pain did nothing to make him want to stop. Reno could feel the hands on his head getting insistent and made it clear he should pry himself off of Iharu's dick for a second.

"Sorry. Too much?" He looked up and gulped down fresh air, suddenly hearing how rough and strained his voice sounded.

Iharu's eyes went wide as he heard it too, swallowing thickly as his own throat went dry.

"Ye-yeah, just a little. But I also just, um, figured that maybe you'd like a t-turn.' He stuttered over his words as his blood set fire to his face.

"Nope. Fine right where I am, actually." Reno quickly countered as he almost dived right back into action.

Iharu's hands held him in place as he tried to talk again, "What I meant was that I want to switch things up."

"What'd you have in mind?" Reno asked distractedly, already going back to planting tiny pecks on the well slicked cockhead.

"My God, take the fucking hint." Iharu's eyes squeezed as he muttered to the sky, "I-I want you to fuck me..." He trailed off quietly.

Reno did hear him, but seeing that deep blush flare up harder over his lovers face and reach the tips of his ears made him feel like teasing him a little more.

"Oh? Didn't quite catch that." He smirked as his fingers came up to play around with the stiff member again.

"You're gonna fuckin' kill me." Iharu hotly groaned as his head slammed against the door again.

"Then I guess you're just gonna have to tell me how to save you then." Reno coaxed as he sinfully dragged his tongue up the cock's slit.

"GOD, I want you to fuck me already!" Iharu shouted.

Reno let out a small giggle before grabbing his embarrassed lover by his knees and lifting him up from the floor. Iharu let out a shocked yelp as he gripped Reno by his shoulders as to lot flop over backwards and send them both falling back to the floor. Carefully marching over to the soft pink bed, Reno playfully slammed Iharu onto it and pulled him close to lather him in another layer of kisses. It didn't last long as he quickly pulled back and took the rest of the shirt off.

"So, how'd you want this to go?" Reno panted as he shifted gears and started to unbutton his pants.

Iharu watched dumbfounded for a moment before rapidly shimmying his pants off as well, "Okay so, ever heard the phrase 'Topping from the bottom'?"

Reno paused out of sudden interest halfway through pulling one leg out of his slacks and almost fell over from a sudden lack of balance, "Yeah. Yeah, I can work with that." He said once he caught himself.

He quickly pulled off the rest of the outfit and practically launched himself at the head of the bed, pushing the pillows back as far as they could go so he could sit upright. He couldn't keep the wild grin from his face as he made an insistent grabby gesture at his lover. Iharu struggled a little bit trying to get the pants with the shoes at the same time. Once he got them off, he aggressively threw them across the room into an available white leather arm chair. He shed the jacket and tossed it in the same direction, but was stopped before he could lose the halter sweater.

"Don't. That stays on till I tell you." Reno rakishly commanded, his gaze heated and his pose openly inviting.

The deep blush Iharu had on his cheeks quickly exploded past the tips of his ears and skyrocketed down and over his shoulders. His jaw dropped open as he matched Reno's heated look with one of sudden fascination. His heart slammed against his chest as he slowly shifted to his hands and knees. He swallowed thickly, his throat bobbing visibly as he took his time crawling his way over to Reno's bare and awaiting lap. Straddling his legs once he got closer, Iharu bit down hard on his lip as his gaze sluggishly passed over Reno's excited form. His breath audibly shook once he felt more and more of Reno's cool skin making contact with his over-heated self.

"Hey. Is this still okay?" Reno calmly asked, his gaze softening as his hands came up to sooth Iharu's burning cheeks.

"Yeah, fine." Iharu placated for a second, 'It's just... This might sound stupid now, but-it's one thing to see each other naked at work but it feels entirely different when... when you-"

"Yeah." Reno gently scoffed as he vaguely finished Iharu's sentence for him, "This is... different alright."

Reno's thumbs twitched over Iharu's cheek bones as he quickly licked his lips. He took a short breath before gently pulling on Iharu's face, wordlessly wanting him closer. Taking the hint, Iharu shifted until he was fully seated in Reno's lap and his hands came up to forcefully grip at the pink pillows behind his head. Their gasps were short and shaky as they felt the exchange of their natural temperature clash and ebb out. Moans were choked as they felt their cocks brush up and slide against each other. Reno couldn't bring himself to look away from the alluring show while Iharu's attention was kept on his partner's face.

Feeling an odd twinge of jealousy at the divided attention, Iharu dove forward to brush his nose against Reno's, redirecting his attention. Reno looked up and saw nothing but a wildfire in the depths of his eyes, those pupils blown wide and his orange irises now super-heated ring of melted gold. Iharu's blush had gotten so intense that it turned his skin patchy, like it was the surface of a bubbling river of lava. Almost as if that same river appeared behind him, Reno crashed against Iharu and captured those kissed-plump lips, devouring his mouth like a dead man's last meal. Reno's hands dropped from Iharu's face to his shoulders and then to his hips, promptly tugging him closer and elicited a rough groan from the blushing punk.

Quickly growing unsatisfied with the rough friction, Reno reached out to the side and patted his hand around the top of the nightstand absentmindedly. Once his had brushed up against something resembling a tube, he broke away from the kiss to focus on it and made sure it was what he wanted. It was a small bottle with a flip cap, so he managed to pour out some lube into his hands and started to swirl it around his fingers so it could warm up in his hand. The other hand had come up to assert itself in Iharu's gravity defying hair and pull him back in, the brief absence making Reno hungry for more of their carnal connection.

"Hold on." Iharu suddenly interjected, worry causing him to chew on his lips.

"What, is everything okay?" Reno asked, his eyes searching Iharu's face for any clue for the interruption.

"Look, not to beat a dead horse here, but..." Iharu started as he continued to look anywhere but Reno's face, You're sure you want... to do this? With me, that is. I mean, it's just..." While his words weren't clear themselves, Reno got the impression of what he was trying to communicate.

Reno leaned his head forward until it gently nudged against Iharu's and drew their attention to the present, "And here I thought you'd have enough confidence for the both of us." He puffed out sarcastically, the cheeky grin he had making Iharu roll his eyes.

"Yeah, well, it's not like I ever plan to be nervous about anything, it's just... well... don't make me say it..." Iharu tried to counter before collapsing under the weight of his nerves.

"Hmmmm-First time?" Reno hummed teasingly as the hand in Iharu's hair came down to his cheek.

"Don't say it like that you're not in the same boat! And it doesn't help that you're not acting nervous at all here, so thanks for setting the bar high again." Iharu pouted as he watched Reno force down a giggle.

"Honestly, how do you even do it." Iharu quietly whispered as he nuzzled affectionately into the now warm hand.

Reno's hand drifted further down his face and came to settle around the back of his neck, his thumb lovingly brushing a spot just behind Iharu's ear.

"Because right now... I love you more than I can care about anything else right now." Reno said as his soul was laid bare in his violet eyes.

Iharu's fierce blush fired up again and set more than his face on fire this time, causing the angry splotches to flare up not just over his shoulders now but all the way down his chest. His eyes began to shine and his lip quivered slightly before burying his head in the crook of Reno's neck.

"Fucking suave bastard." He muttered into the cool skin.

"We're trying to, at least." Reno teased.

"Shut up and start fingering me before I run screaming into the night." Iharu muttered a little louder as his arms came to relax around Reno's neck.

Reno giggled a little more as his slicked up hand came around Iharu's back. The other hand massaged the back of his lover's neck as he nosed at what little skin he could reach through the plush sweater collar. Reno drank in the ghostly wafts of the spicy cologne Iharu sported tonight, a pleasantly loud blend of cinnamon, orange oil, and laurel. It smelled wonderful and helped act as a distraction for Reno as his finger started to slowly circle Iharu's asshole. He may not have looked like it, but he was just as nervous on the inside. He may have never been with anyone like this before now, but his main focus in this moment was making sure that tonight was enjoyable for both of them.

With the main concern being that he didn't want to hurt Iharu, Reno started slow, only using light pressure with his middle finger. It slid in easily, more so after he started to piston it and curl around experimentally. The careful actions began to ease out short snippets of whimpers from Iharu as he grew more accustomed to the sensation. He even began to relax and shifted his legs out wider, entrusting more of his weight to be spread over Reno's body. He especially liked it when the movement caused their cocks to rub together again and drew out another shaky gasp from the man under him.

"Still feeling okay?" Reno asked as he teased a second finger at the entrance.

"Yeah." Iharu sighed blissfully, "Definitely feels different when someone else is taking charge."

"Oh?" Reno caught on to the implication with interest, "Do you do this to yourself often?"

Iharu's body jolted a little as he realized what he said, "Sh-shut up." he quietly stuttered.

"Nah, I wanna hear more of this." Reno chuckled, "Do you do it often? Do you do it in the bathhouse when no one is looking? Don't tell me you wait to mess around in the barracks when everyone else is asleep." He continued to whisper teasingly into Iharu's ear, causing him to whimper louder and louder with each insinuation.

"Everyone's out like a light at that point!" Iharu openly whined, "It's not like anyone can hear me over all the snoring anyway!"

"But I'm right under you." Reno continued to investigate, "And you know I'm a light sleeper. You can't tell me that you've been doing this for a while and I haven't caught you before." With how close their chests were, he could almost feel how fast Iharu's heart rate spiked when he said that. Added on to the fact that Iharu had suddenly decided to hold back on his cute little noises, Reno started to develop the feeling that he was on to something.

"Or have I?" He teased as he finally slipped in the second finger, "Those little late night talks of ours? The ones where I hear you call my name out first? Is that you? Are you trying to cover up what you're doing, spreading yourself open as you call out my name?" Iharu bit his lip in an attempt not to openly moan, not wanting to let Reno catch on too easily to how much he was enjoying this.

"You dirty perv." Reno quietly provoked as his fingers bottomed out in Iharu's ass, "You've been getting away with this for how long? Calling out my name all those times?" The sudden intrusion broke Iharu's concentration and caused a sharp gasp to be punched out of him.

"Wish you would have told me sooner." Reno smirked as he began to nibble on an earlobe, "Would've liked to come up to your level. Maybe I could've helped you keep quiet." He tacked on as he brushed the tip of his tongue along the shell of Iharu's ear.

Iharu's moans were still on the shaky side of things, but nothing stopped him from rocking back onto Reno's confident fingers. He didn't move very far, just enough to make the fingers inside him bottom out with every stroke and slide their stiff lengths together. Precum began to leak out of both of them as they got caught up in the erotic movement, making the grind feel smoother. Feeling bold, Reno briefly scissored Iharu open just enough to slide in a third finger and catch him unaware. Iharu openly moaned at the surprising stretch as he pushed all the way down without a second thought.

"A-ahh!" Iharu groaned as he started to shake in his hold.

"So smart of you to take us somewhere special. Don't have to worry about getting caught." Reno panted as he felt more and more turned on by his lover's precious noises, "Be as loud as you want babe... wanna hear you." He began to nip and suckle dark spots on all the sensitive areas of Iharu's neck that he could reach.

"Ah fuck!" Iharu continued to let out choked gasps right by Reno's ear as he felt the fingers inside him flex and move around, almost brushing against his prostate.

"So smart. So warm. So pretty. And it's all for me, isn't it?" Reno continued to praise him as he flexed his fingers some more, trying his best to find that one spot that would finally send Iharu over the edge and make him spill.

"Fuck! Fuck, wait!" Iharu choked down a heated cry just so he could gather the strength to push away from Reno to make a point. He almost forgot what he was about to say and nearly caved to darker interests when he heard a low and irritated growl rumble out from Reno's throat.

"Just want you in me first before I come, that's all!" Iharu blurted out in a rush, having been caught off guard by how Reno's almost primal glare was making him feel.

An audible gulp was heard when he saw Reno's veiled sneer turned into a motivated grin. Reno pulled out his fingers gently and poured more lube on his hand before he gave his sensitive cock a couple of deft tugs. The punk braced himself by gripping Reno's shoulders as he shifted himself just enough to line up with the eager dick under him. Reno stopped and moved his hand so he could line himself up with Iharu's slick and twitching entrance. As he pulled his legs up behind Iharu for added support, Reno wiped off the excess lube onto the back of his thigh.

Reno pulled his other hand down and slowly gripped the other's waist. He took a long moment to admire the deep and pronounced hip dips that Iharu had and how he loved the way his thumb and palm slotted nicely into them. Iharu forced himself to breathe evenly as he slowly sank down onto the offered cock. Both of their bodies began to tremor from the unfamiliar sensation, the glide of it all feeling incredibly smooth and warm. Heady pants and electrified gasps filled the small room as Iharu managed to keep a steady pace of sinking down a little at a time before backing up slightly.

Iharu's eyes were screwed shut as he voiced his pleasure to the ceiling, hands tightly gripping the other man's shoulders to the point they left crescent nail marks in the skin. Reno couldn't tear his eyes away from the delicious sight of Iharu's body taking him in a little at a time. He bit the inside of his cheek for focus, forcing himself not to roughly buck up into the wet and welcoming heat. Iharu was silently glad that Reno added that third finger at the last second, thinking that this would have taken longer had he not. Reno wasn't long which felt like a small blessing in the moment, but he was certainly wide.

Once Iharu had finally sat all the way down on the hard cock, he immediately grinded on it, vocally relishing the full feeling it had carved into his stomach. His moans became intensely pitchy because of that, and made himself take a moment to come back down from the sudden high it caused. Reno hissed as his grip on his hips became all the tighter, almost to the point he wondered if it was going to leave a bruise. Iharu's hands released their grip and slowly traveled down Reno's arms, reflexively gripping his biceps as they passed, and settled down close to his wrists. Taking the hint, Reno loosened his grip and instead made his hands massage Iharu's taut stomach.

Reno pulled his legs up some more as he leaned forward, practically sandwiching Iharu with his body. Iharu whimpered at the movement, ass twitching around the cock inside him as he helped pull Reno closer. Reno stretched his neck as far as he could once they were close enough and bit the pink ribbon at the back of Iharu's neck. He could only grab at the loop of it, so it took some harsh tugging and yanking to pull enough ribbon out of its knot. Iharu giggled a little at the irritated grunts and huffs Reno was making as he chewed the bow loose. He eventually had enough and just reached up to finish it off before biting the collar in the end to pull it away. His hand went back down quickly, but Reno took his time pushing the sweater's hem up Iharu's super heated body.

Reno couldn't help but gasp once he saw the lithe expanse of Iharu's flushed chest. It had gone fully red at this point, From the tips of his ears and hairline, almost all the way down to his navel looked like Iharu had been dunked in red Kool-aid that had stained his skin. Drawing his eyes back up, Reno even noticed that it has even spread to his shoulders a little. When their eyes met, Reno felt he got sucked in to whatever world Iharu was floating through at this moment. With a heavy gaze and blown pupils, lips parted and shiny from spit, Iharu looked gone. His head feeling so far above the clouds it made him wonder how he could still breathe. His gaze was warm, his body felt hot, and Reno was prepared to dive into the fire.

Reno leaned forward and started to slowly lap at Iharu's chest, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses right over his heart. His hand came up to the other side of the chest and immediately began to squeeze at the small pec that he had found there. Teasing his thumb over the rounded nub, Reno moved his mouth's attention to the other side and suckled on the other nipple. Iharu grunted at the ministrations, his hands coming back to rest around Reno's shoulders. Iharu's hips began to twitch and grind when he felt Reno move from gentle rubbing and licking, to pinching, twisting and biting. Once Reno switched sides, his now unoccupied hand slid back down to Iharu's hip and pulled on it. He groaned hotly when he felt Iharu's dripping cock press up against his abs and made his ass twitch around his in tandem.

Already feeling like he was close, Iharu tried to move things along as he rose up on shaky knees and carefully slammed down, bouncing as he hit bottom. This punched a heady moan out of the both of them, with Reno's bruising grip making a return appearance. Iharu continued to chase that feeling, that feeling of being stuffed full over and over again as he rocked up and down at an even pace. Reno leaned back against the pillows as both his hands came back to Iharu's waist. Reno held them tight as he snapped his own hips up to match their pace, slamming him down on his cock and drawing out louder and louder moans. Iharu felt like he couldn't get enough but knew he could take things further.

Leaning forward and pressing their heaving chest together, Iharu captured Reno's lips as he felt the cock inside him hit at a different angle. Tongues lashed in between breathy moans as he finally felt Reno's stiff length bash at his prostate. Reno shifted his hips just enough to bring extra power into their thrusts, sending Iharu spiraling. A hand left its home on Iharu's hip and snaked its way in between them to roughly tug on the weeping cock bouncing against Reno's stomach. Iharu started to openly curse now, broken and choppy curses were hotly ghosting past Reno's ear.

"Ah, ha-fuck! Ah, FUCK! Cl-close. I'm close." Iharu gasped as he couldn't stop himself from bucking in both directions, chasing the delicious friction from Reno's hand and the electrified hammer-strikes he felt from his cock hitting deep inside.

"Do it." Reno commanded in that moment, "Told you I wanted to watch you make a mess- fuck!" He rasped as he felt Iharu twitch suddenly as his thrusts melted out of rhythm.

The other hand came up to grip Iharu's hair as Reno let him chase his high on his own. He definitely felt close, but wanted to be present enough to watch Iharu fall from his blissed out precipice. Reno's eyes kept switching from Iharu's messy cock to the tight and tense expression he held as he fought to break apart from the building heat in his core. With shaking legs and a victorious cry, Iharu freed himself from the mounting tension within him and came hot and hard all over Reno's chest.

Any strength Iharu needed to hold himself up with vanished as his orgasm dissipated through his exhausted body. His arms crashed against the pillows behind them as he slumped all of his weight onto Reno. The both of them were panting heavily, feeling numb to anything else outside of the still present and intense body heat between them. Reno had to bite his lip against any noise he may have wanted to make as he felt Iharu's dick rub some of his sticky load over more of his abs. He mentally thanked his balls for their service as he felt his body naturally back away from what would have been a similar explosion of passion, but hadn't reached the edge in time to join Iharu.

"Shhhhuuu...wow. Just... wow." Iharu babbled as he was at a loss for words.

"Yeah." Reno pathetically agreed. They stayed there, lifeless and tired for a moment, as they drank in the post-nut atmosphere.

"Damn, and here I was hoping to last a little longer." Iharu breathlessly admitted once he managed to scrape together enough braincells to use.

"You lasted plenty long. A lot longer than I figured, definitely." Reno tried to comfort as he lazily patted at the now ruined mohawk.

"Yeah, but I mean..." Iharu started as he shifted his hips and drew attention to the still very excited cock in his ass, "I wanted you to come with me." He whimpered

Reno bit back a pained chuckle the sensation brought out of him, "Probably for the best though. Kinda forgot protection in the heat of the moment."

"Aw, come on! It's Valentine's day." Iharu giggled as he brought his head to rest against Reno's forehead, "Don't ya wanna live a little?" He teased as he wiggled his ass.

"Fuck." Reno choked as his grip on the mohawk tightened for a brief second, "You want it that bad? How about you work for it?" He challenged.

"Wish." Iharu groaned as his eyes rolled around sleepily, "Legs are shot."

"Doesn't seem to be stopping you at all." Reno grunted as he felt Iharu clench around his stiff dick.

"Hmm. May not be able to move..." Iharu enticed in a challenging tone, "But I think I can come up with a few ways to make you take the lead."

Iharu began to circle his hips in an intoxicatingly slow rhythm, just barely slipping Reno's cock in and out of his twitching entrance. He mimicked the open-mouthed kisses that Reno used on his chest and started to abuse the opportunity to mark more of his neck with love bites. Sensuously dragging his pointed teeth and tongue over Reno's sensitive pulse spot, he occasionally puffed hot air over it to highlight the change in temperature and send shivers down his spine. Reno gritted his teeth as his hands made their way back to Iharu's hips again, whether to stop the torturous ministrations or help them, he wasn't sure. His patience grew ever thinner as the methodical grinding also dragged Iharu's dick through the spent cum on his stomach, reminding him why he was such a mess for this man in the first place.

The longer Reno thought about it, the more excuses came to mind. Iharu did most of the work, so it only makes sense that Reno returns the favor. He was so close before, it surely wouldn't take much to catch back up. Plus, it wouldn't hurt to watch Iharu make that pretty face again, the one he makes when he's just starting to feel good and everything's hitting just right. Instead of his hands staying at Iharu's hips this time, they traveled just a little lower and groped at his taut thighs and relished how they felt in Reno's hands. He pulled the thighs apart, somehow creating just enough room for his cock to slide in a little further.

"Come on, that's all you got?" Iharu scoffed right in his ear, "You can do better than that." He seated his ass as far down as it could and squeezed sporadically, feeling it make Reno's body shudder harder.

"What, like you haven't had enough tonight?" Reno countered as he bit back some loud grunts. He felt himself trying to fight the challenge Iharu had silently put forward, not wanting to give in so easily.

"Look, the sex was sweet and all, and don't get me wrong-I enjoyed the hell out of it-" Iharu started to moan in earnest again as he ground back on the violently twitching dick, "but haven't you ever wanted to go apeshit on someone?"

"I don't... don't want to hurt you." Reno countered as a pathetic excuse to hold back.

Of course he wanted to. He had wanted to since the alley. He knew Iharu could take it, but he didn't want to take things too far on the off chance he could ruin it. He loved Iharu, but he couldn't love himself if he did something that could break what they had. He needed it now, more than ever. That close, competitive, bond that drove them both to extremes, but with the knowledge that they would go through those extremes together. If Reno ever broke, he needed to know that Iharu would be lying there next to him being just as broken as he was, but still holding on to the dedication and determination needed to put the both of them back together again.

"Jokes on you, dumbass." Iharu growled as he came up to face Reno, a ring studded hand coming up to grip his partner's hair.

"I'm into that shit." He dove for Reno's lips, brutishly shoving his tongue inside.

Reno quickly reciprocated, groaning hotly as they fought for dominance in the inviting heat he offered. Fingers flexed and dug deep into the meat of Iharu's thighs, making him positive that there were going to be bruises there later. Iharu lashed his tongue around the inside of Reno's mouth as a hand dragged itself from around the other's neck and scraped its fingernails down his chest. The bite of the pain paired with the smooth grinding sent Reno up the wall, making his heart launch into overdrive. Both of Iharu's hands came around and started to play with Reno's chest, skipping straight past teasing his nipples and going right to twist them just enough to make him cry out from shock.

With that familiar searing tension building up in his core, Reno couldn't take being idle any longer and finally snapped. He flipped the two of them over roughly, practically folding Iharu in half as he now rested against the wall of pillows behind them. Reno's hands moved to the back of his thighs as he pushed them as far as he could, almost having them reach the punk's ears. He set a brutal pace from the start, having grown far past the point of compassion and wanting to reclaim the high he had almost lost before. The sound of shin hitting skin would have echoed throughout the room had it not been overshadowed by the increase of loud, raspy moaning.

"Oh fucking finally!" Iharu cried as he felt the air getting punched out of his lungs by the new position.

Amused giggles were cut short as his brain short-circuited once he felt how much bigger Reno felt in this way. Iharu's crazed and rapturous moans were nothing in comparison to the almost feral growling Reno was making. His hands scrambled to reach around to Reno's back, digging his short fingernails into the defined muscles found there. Reno leaned forward to give his lover more space to claw at, pinning his shaking legs in between his equally shaky arms and shoulders. Reno fought for strength as he railed Iharu, breathing fiery groans down his lover's neck. The muscles in his stomach felt like they were going to cramp at the rate he was pushing himself.

"Fuck, that's it Sweet Heart. Take what you want, it's all yours." Iharu huffed out as he grew closer to another orgasm.

Hearing his blissful words, Reno pulled his head back just enough to kiss him again. As much as he wanted too, he couldn't really keep up with both actions as he felt his rhythm go awry and his kiss being nothing more tongue-filled panting. Drawing closer to another finish, Iharu raked his fingers down Reno's back again which was just enough stimulation to send both of them spiraling. Reno came with a loud and low cry, fingers nearly ripping the pillows he was gripping apart. Iharu matched him point for point with tears in his eyes, shaking uncontrollably from the overstimulation. Reno was in the same boat as his head dropped to Iharu's chest as he gulped for air.

They were spent, exhausted, and most importantly happy. Iharu felt like he wanted to laugh, but couldn't find the energy to breathe in the first place. Reno was trying his best not to fall over and completely smoosh Iharu, but it was turning into an uphill battle. The least he could do in that moment was carefully slide Iharu's legs off his shoulders and give the man some room to actually breathe. Moving his legs however brought a lot of attention to the fact that Reno really did cum inside, and while he was pleased with the idea of it, the sensation was a different matter.

"Happy now?" Reno teased as he winced, attempting and immediately regretting the decision to try and adjust their positions.

"Oh, come on. Don't say it like you didn't enjoy making this mess." Iharu smirked as every muscle fiber in his body went slack.

"Can't lie about that, can I?" Reno joked as kept his head down, committing the image of their white stained stomachs to memory.

He made himself power through the exhaustion long enough to slowly pull out and lie down next to Iharu. Both of them met each other's eyes and admired that domestically hazy look in them. Reno brought a hand up to play with some errant strands of pink hair that had glued themselves to Iharu's forehead. His lover closed his eyes at the gentle touch and sighed, content.

"Hey." Reno quietly called out, making Iharu crack an eye back open.

"I love you." He revealed.

Iharu giggled, "Figured you did, dummy. Didn't think this would happen if ya didn't."

"Make a man cum twice and this is the thanks I get." Reno muttered as he turned away indignantly.

"Hey, wait, come on!" Iharu continued to laugh as he reached a hand over to pull Reno back to face him.

Reno rolled back over and hit him with the most tender expression he thought possible. Seeing it made Iharu's previous levels of blushing looked pale in comparison. Suddenly getting nervous about speaking, Iharu leaned forward to bury his face into the crook of Reno's arm. After breathing in his natural scent made him calm down, Iharu finally poked his head out just enough to look Reno in the eye.

"I love you too."

After the two of them cleaned themselves up they laid there in the bed for a while, talking about everything under the sun. It went on long enough that Iharu eventually fell asleep. Reno had paid for the full night out of precaution anyway, now thankful that he did. He never really got the chance to watch Iharu sleep like this since they used bunk beds back at base. As rough around the edges as he likes to act, his face when he was sleeping looked deceptively angelic. Reno pulled the sheets up higher and pulled Iharu closer, tucking both of them safely in his arms.

Morning came around and as usual Reno was the first to wake up. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, he woke up to the fact that neither of them had moved at all during the night. With his biological alarm clock telling him that the front desk would be calling soon, Reno mentally prepared himself to start moving. Planting a quick kiss to Iharu's forehead, Reno shifted down to the end of the bed and made his way over to the shower. He kept it short, wanting to get back out into the room before Iharu started to wake up. He gathered and vaguely organized their clothes, sliding on the pants from last night. He got the shirt on, but didn't button it yet as he reached back down for something else.

"Damn. Showered without me?" Iharu groaned sleepily as he stretched out on the bed.

"Morning to you to, Bed Head." Reno teased as he slid on Iharu's leather jacket.

Iharu rubbed his eyes as he watched his new boyfriend get dressed, "Now hold on. Just what do you think you're doing?" He commented as he noticed his jacket draped over the wrong person.

"Hm? Borrowing your jacket. It's cold out there you know." Reno deflected deceptively, knowing full well what he was doing.

"Nuh uh, not that jacket. Any other jacket I own but that one." Iharu playfully demanded as he pulled his bare form out of bed.

"But it's already so cozy. You don't want your boyfriend to freeze, do you?" Reno pouted in defiance as he batted his eye lashes.

"You... and I... both know that you have no problem with the cold." Iharu stalked him slowly, making Reno back up until he hit the wall behind them.

Iharu got incredibly close, so close their breaths mixed in the slim space between their lips. He forcefully planted his hands on either side of Reno, effectively caging him in. Not that Reno seemed to mind as his eyes dropped to the bright pink lips before him.

"Tell you what." Iharu began as he slotted a leg in the middle of Reno's stance, "You want it that bad? I'll fight ya for it."

Needless to say that Reno didn't get to keep the jacket in the end. Iharu was just too attached to the precious garment. However, he had no problem with the opposing trade off that was offered instead. Reno like to think that the pink sweater Iharu walked in with framed the claw marks that punk gave him on his back and shoulders quite nicely.

And yes, they did steal the lava lamp.

[megumins-wizard-hat]

Ur just with the wrong people

do you guys ever feel like an outcast even in a group full of outcasts. like i'm autistic and even in groups full of neurodivergent people i'm still excluded sometimes. i don't understand why

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

average United States contains 1000s of pet tigers in backyards" factoid actualy [sic] just statistical error. average person has 0 tigers on property. Activist Georg, who lives the U.S. Capitol & makes up over 10,000 each day, has purposefully been spreading disinformation adn [sic] should not have been counted

I have a big mad today, folks. It's a really frustrating one, because years worth of work has been validated... but the reason for that fucking sucks.

For almost a decade, I've been trying to fact-check the claim that there "are 10,000 to 20,000 pet tigers/big cats in backyards in the United States." I talked to zoo, sanctuary, and private cat people; I looked at legislation, regulation, attack/death/escape incident rates; I read everything I could get my hands on. None of it made sense. None of it lined up. I couldn't find data supporting anything like the population of pet cats being alleged to exist. Some of you might remember the series I published on those findings from 2018 or so under the hashtag #CrouchingTigerHiddenData. I've continued to work on it in the six years since, including publishing a peer reviewed study that counted all the non-pet big cats in the US (because even though they're regulated, apparently nobody bothered to keep track of those either).

I spent years of my life obsessing over that statistic because it was being used to push for new federal legislation that, while well intentioned, contained language that would, and has, created real problems for ethical facilities that have big cats. I wrote a comprehensive - 35 page! - analysis of the issues with the then-current version of the Big Cat Public Safety Act in 2020. When the bill was first introduced to Congress in 2013, a lot of groups promoted it by fear mongering: there's so many pet tigers! they could be hidden around every corner! they could escape and attack you! they could come out of nowhere and eat your children!! Tiger King exposed the masses to the idea of "thousands of abused backyard big cats": as a result the messaging around the bill shifted to being welfare-focused, and the law passed in 2022.

The Big Cat Public Safety Act created a registry, and anyone who owned a private cat and wanted to keep it had to join. If they did, they could keep the animal until it passed, as long as they followed certain strictures (no getting more, no public contact, etc). Don’t register and get caught? Cat is seized and major punishment for you. Registering is therefore highly incentivized. That registry closed in June of 2023, and you can now get that registration data via a Freedom of Information Act request.

Guess how many pet big cats were registered in the whole country?

97.

Not tens of thousands. Not thousands. Not even triple digits. 97.

And that isn't even the right number! Ten USDA licensed facilities registered erroneously. That accounts for 55 of 97 animals. Which leaves us with 42 pet big cats, of all species, in the entire country.

Now, I know that not everyone may have registered. There's probably someone living deep in the woods somewhere with their illegal pet cougar, and there's been at least one random person in Texas arrested for trying to sell a cub since the law passed. But - and here's the big thing - even if there are ten times as many hidden cats than people who registered them - that's nowhere near ten thousand animals. Obviously, I had some questions.

Guess what? Turns out, this is because it was never real. That huge number never had data behind it, wasn't likely to be accurate, and the advocacy groups using that statistic to fearmonger and drive their agenda knew it... and didn't see a problem with that.

Allow me to introduce you to an article published last week.

This article is good. (Full disclose, I'm quoted in it). It's comprehensive and fairly written, and they did their due diligence reporting and fact-checking the piece. They talked to a lot of people on all sides of the story.

But thing that really gets me?

Multiple representatives from major advocacy organizations who worked on the Big Cat Publix Safety Act told the reporter that they knew the statistics they were quoting weren't real. And that they don't care. The end justifies the means, the good guys won over the bad guys, that's just how lobbying works after all. They're so blase about it, it makes my stomach hurt. Let me pull some excerpts from the quotes.

"Whatever the true number, nearly everyone in the debate acknowledges a disparity between the actual census and the figures cited by lawmakers. “The 20,000 number is not real,” said Bill Nimmo, founder of Tigers in America. (...) For his part, Nimmo at Tigers in America sees the exaggerated figure as part of the political process. Prior to the passage of the bill, he said, businesses that exhibited and bred big cats juiced the numbers, too. (...) “I’m not justifying the hyperbolic 20,000,” Nimmo said. “In the world of comparing hyperbole, the good guys won this one.”

"Michelle Sinnott, director and counsel for captive animal law enforcement at the PETA Foundation, emphasized that the law accomplished what it was set out to do. (...) Specific numbers are not what really matter, she said: “Whether there’s one big cat in a private home or whether there’s 10,000 big cats in a private home, the underlying problem of industry is still there.”"

I have no problem with a law ending the private ownership of big cats, and with ending cub petting practices. What I do have a problem with is that these organizations purposefully spread disinformation for years in order to push for it. By their own admission, they repeatedly and intentionally promoted false statistics within Congress. For a decade.

No wonder it never made sense. No wonder no matter where I looked, I couldn't figure out how any of these groups got those numbers, why there was never any data to back any of the claims up, why everything I learned seemed to actively contradict it. It was never real. These people decided the truth didn't matter. They knew they had no proof, couldn't verify their shocking numbers... and they decided that was fine, if it achieved the end they wanted.

So members of the public - probably like you, reading this - and legislators who care about big cats and want to see legislation exist to protect them? They got played, got fed false information through a TV show designed to tug at heartstrings, and it got a law through Congress that's causing real problems for ethical captive big cat management. The 20,000 pet cat number was too sexy - too much of a crisis - for anyone to want to look past it and check that the language of the law wouldn't mess things up up for good zoos and sanctuaries. Whoops! At least the "bad guys" lost, right? (The problems are covered somewhat in the article linked, and I'll go into more details in a future post. You can also read my analysis from 2020, linked up top.)

Now, I know. Something something something facts don't matter this much in our post-truth era, stop caring so much, that's just how politics work, etc. I’m sorry, but no. Absolutely not.

Laws that will impact the welfare of living animals must be crafted carefully, thoughtfully, and precisely in order to ensure they achieve their goals without accidental negative impacts. We have a duty of care to ensure that. And in this case, the law also impacts reservoir populations for critically endangered species! We can't get those back if we mess them up. So maybe, just maybe, if legislators hadn't been so focused on all those alleged pet cats, the bill could have been written narrowly and precisely.

But the minutiae of regulatory impacts aren't sexy, and tiger abuse and TV shows about terrible people are. We all got misled, and now we're here, and the animals in good facilities are already paying for it.

I don't have a conclusion. I'm just mad. The public deserves to know the truth about animal legislation they're voting for, and I hope we all call on our legislators in the future to be far more critical of the data they get fed.

[incorrectbatfam]

Does the Batmobile ever get ticketed or does the GCPD just ignore it

Bruce: *puts a box on the table*

Bruce: Gather around, everyone. It's time for our monthly ticket review.

Bruce: First up, Steph. Can you explain what happened last Friday?

[earlier]

Steph: *looking for parking in a full lot*

Steph: Screw it, I'm going around back.

Steph: *parks in front of a fire exit*

[present]

Steph: I just needed to use the bathroom.

Bruce: And in those three minutes, the Joker released a giant water balloon forcing everyone to evacuate through one less exit.

Steph: It said "fire exit." That technically wasn't a fire.

Bruce: Well, the penalty is $100 plus the towing cost. I can pay it off but you have to help Alfred in the kitchen for a month.

Steph: Yeah, that's fair.

Bruce: Next up... Cass and Barbara? Color me surprised.

Barbara: Oh yeah, I had to remotely pilot the Batmobile the other day because Cass needed a getaway.

Bruce: Then why am I being charged $250?

[earlier]

Cass: *fighting a gang*

Barbara: Orphan, ETA thirty seconds. Prepare for extraction.

Cass: *knocks out the last henchman and runs to the car*

Comm. Gordon: *writing a ticket*

Cass: ?

Comm. Gordon: You're in a disabled parking spot without a permit.

[present]

Barbara: Well I am disabled.

Bruce: Understandable. I'll let it slide since it's the first time. Just file the paperwork for a permit.

Bruce: Dick, you went thirty-five over the speed limit when you weren't pursuing a suspect. Explain.

[earlier]

Wally: Race you to Keystone?

Dick: *revs the engine*

[present]

Bruce: You're better than this. I'm disappointed. Next up: Tim. Driving without a license plate. What happened there?

[earlier]

Tim: I wasn't supposed to take the Batmobile since Bruce benched me for my wrist, but my other ride is in the shop.

Kon: What about cameras? Can't your dad tap into the city's surveillance system?

Bart: Traffic cameras read license plates, so if we take them off, no one will recognize us.

Kon: Now that's an idea.

[present]

Tim: That's on me. I shouldn't have listened to them.

Bruce: Put them back on, plus you're benched for another week. Damian, on to you.

Damian: What on Earth could I have done? I followed the speed limit, parked in the correct spots, and never so much as changed lanes on an empty road without signalling.

[earlier]

Damian, a middle schooler: *driving*

[present]

Damian: Tt.

Bruce: Don't do it again. Duke...

Duke: *cringes and remembers what he did*

[earlier]

Duke: *hooks the Batmobile to a freezer trailer*

Duke: *starts driving around with a megaphone*

Duke: Ice cream! Get your ice cream!

[present]

Bruce: Fantastic job. No complaints.

Jason, muttering: Teacher's pet.

Bruce: And finally, Jason.

Bruce: *empties the rest of the box*

[c4toru]

your overworked bf makes it up for neglecting you ^o^

it was another one of those nights where he stayed up in the dark depths of the night, scribbling down different notes for himself to review the following day. he had been overwhelmed with the amount of preparation that needed to be done for his upcoming project at work.

you couldn’t remember the last time you even kissed properly, aside from the little pecks he gave you when he left for work or when he shushed you to sleep. you perk up as you hear him sigh loudly as he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose before closing his notebook and setting it to the side.

“you’re still up pretty girl?” he worriedly asks, turning his body over so he can spoon your plush body. he’s met with uncomfortably loud silence but a firm grind of your soft body being pushed against his. confusion is plastered across his face but before he is able to get a word out, you speak up, “i miss you.. i-i want you” you whisper. he is so incredibly dumbfounded but still decided to indulge you further.

“how d’ya want me..?”

your naughty advances are what led you here, your pajama shorts lost on the floor while your full leg is hiked up to allow his now hardened cock to push its way past your warmth. “biiiig stretch honey- ngh!” he mumbles, shoving his girthy cock deep inside of you, hefty balls sitting perfectly against your swollen clit.

“o..oh f-feels so good mmf!” you babble, your dainty hand gripping onto your plump thigh as he’s rubbing slow n agonizing circles on your puffy clit. he’s licking a long stripe up the side of your neck, earning a breathy gasp from your lips. “i’m all the way up in here- hah..d’ya feel it? hmm?” he teases, pressing a heavy hand to the fat of your stomach.

“y-yes! so deep nngh.. gimmie more!” you cry, attempting to bounce your hips back onto his, desperate for friction. he tucks his bottom lip between his teeth before fucking up into you harshly, your aging bed creaking like there’s no tomorrow. he’s bringing his hand up from your clit to fondle your tit, grasping onto it as his leaky tip pounds against your sopping cervix.

“gonna give it all to you, ‘kay? be a good girl and take it.. hah.” he grumbles, your tight cunt creaming all over his cock, globs spilling down to his balls. your plush body jiggles as he rocks his hips into yours, hitting your g-spot repeatedly, causing tears to prick the corner of your eyes.

“m’cumming! f-fuckk .. don’t stop!” you squeal, his hand moving back down to your clit to rub sloppy circles around your nub. your cunt is fluttering around his lengthy cock when you feel his warmth begin to spill inside you, hot cum filling your insides. your mind exploding in pure bliss as specks of white begin to coat your entrance.

“nngh! so fuckin filthy..” he whines, your head toppling backwards to give him a sweetened kiss. he’s gripping into yours hips, slowly stroking his sensitive cock into you before pulling out and letting his fluids seep out.

he hates making his sweet girl feel so neglected but god.. make up sex sure does feel good

a/n : thank you so much for 1k !! i got a lot of asks for overworked/exhausted drabbles of various diff characters so i decided to write a miscellaneous one to satisfy some of you :D | thank you for all the support <3 , likes & reblogs are appreciated!