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insinirate · 2 years ago

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you did this to yourself

me when i victim blame

#anyway ive received a lot of support that i think id like to keep #partly cause i like them all in 1 place and partly cause some are repeats and id rather not spam anyones dashes #now that i remember ppl actually see this shit there #either way thank u for sticking around #know that i absolutely support hitting the bricks if it means not getting caught up in discourse for associating with me #stay safe out there gang #and for everyone else please for the love of god be kind to survivors #discours /#anonymous

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lazy--lillies · 2 months ago

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Yknow what yeah maybe Bianca didn’t actually have to raise Nico after their mom died because they were put in the Casino where they were both looked after and were only there a week then immediately got put in a military school where they would’ve been separated and looked after anyway. But maybe they were also born into 1940s Italy where men are coddled and women are mummified from birth and she would have felt the pressure to look after him anyway. Maybe she worried about him like a mother, and felt that worry grow after their mother died, and maybe she was scared of it because she knew she would let it become her if she stayed near him. And she wasn’t ready for that, so she did the only thing she could think of. She ran.

#sry i just see ppl say well actually her being a mother figure isn’t accurate for a reason for her to join the hunters bc-#SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP #do u know what it’s like for italian women in their families? i PROMISE she has enough shit around raising her brother already to justify #wanting to leave. even if it was selfish #also let’s remember SHE WAS THIRTEEN #why r we treating her like her logic was that of a grown up omfg #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #bianca di angelo #nico di angelo #hades pjo #lotus casino #idk man maybe the 13 yr old has bad coping mechanisms #i got an ed when i was 13 so she’s still doing better than me can we give her a break now

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bigtiddygandalf · 5 months ago

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i just had to take this ai personality test to submit a job application (to be a bartender).

#the end of our society is upon us yall #i think it’s so funny that so much of imaging our future with technology (sci-fi) branches off into two subsection #A. technology gets so advanced that it becomes the governing (tyrannical) power #or B. technology aids humanity in developing a star trek esque utopia of convenience and luxury #but i don’t think anyone predicted this #this weird dependency on technology (especially AI and other ‘smart’ tech) thats actually just shit #like yeah tech is replacing human jobs and doing it worse and less convenient #it wasn’t that long ago when you could call up any store and a real human being would answer #like… 5-10 years ago??#do you remember when you could walk into a store and get a job application and fill it out by hand #in order to get to this ‘personality test’ stage i had to chat with an AI virtual assistant #and then make an account and (after verifying my email of course) filled out my online application (again…)#and then i had to take this personality test #all so i can continue serving ppl highballs and beer??#its sad to see how normalized this is now #anyway as frustrated as i am by the state of the world #i’m choosing to laugh at how fkn dumb this ai test is #i’m gonna post more pics in a sec

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mars-ipan · 6 months ago

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experiencing any level of joint pain for longer than a day or two has only reinforced my belief that ppl with chronic pain are actually the strongest motherfuckers on the goddamn planet

#marzi speaks #hi. my knees r still kinda fucked up. at some point a few days ago i hyperextended my elbows #so now those have been hurting #my traps r fucked bc i’ve been stressed and those are prone to holding tension in me #my knee pain made me walk wrong for a little bit so now i’m trying to fix that to alleviate the foot and ankle pain #oh yeah. my thumb is still tender for some reason despite the tendonitis having been healed as well #the only part of my body that hasn’t betrayed me as of yet is my spine and pelvis #i am so sick of moving and having it hurt #and like i can go about my day n shit. and have a good time #but it is always there and it is fucking annoyingggg #and ppl with chronic pain just live their whole lives like this.#and they don’t blow up and attack anyone who treats them shitty about it #and i am amazed #bc i talked to my dad abt maybe going to the doctor abt my knees to see what’s going on #bc i don’t remember injuring them at all and i don’t really feel too much improvement on a day to day #and he just gave me a stretch to do about it #now the stretch helps. but my knees still hurt. so like. what do u want from me #if i were to bring it up again he’d probably say it wasn’t a big deal. he’s seen me hobble around the house n how slow i’m moving rn #i normally run around my house. i have been walking at a pace that pisses me off bc i’m impatient #even just having like. worries that are probably exagerrated get dismissed like that has kinda made me wanna kill him a little bit #and this is something that i know is gonna heal and get better #ppl with chronic pain don’t Get That. and they are still dismissed constantly #how do you not like. murder everyone around you. the infinite patience. genuinely the strongest among us #i didn’t mean to complain in these tags as much as i did (my knees r actually doing pretty ok rn and my ankles are getting better)#but i suppose i am bitter

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tariah23 · 4 months ago

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It’s always crazy to see black celebs spew this same rhetoric because it’s such a privileged take… like, they’ve been famous for so long and have gotten their money up, moved out of the projects or whatever tf, that they’ve forgotten what it’s like to be genuinely feel. It’s impossible for them to connect anymore. As far as the qrt, oh wow ☠️.

#it’s always the same shit with these negros bro #like even recently with lil Wayne and all of these idiots crying about the Super Bowl and how he didn’t get chosen to perform #and you got idiots like Nicki and others going on about ‘taking opportunities away from a young black man-‘ (the nigga is in his 40’s bro)#despite Kendrick being younger…. and as a black person why not just be happy for another instead of trying to use race and guilt trip peopl #into caring about you over another black person when it’s convenient for you #because i remember when this dude used to say that he doesn’t care about blm or politics and he’s getting money #and that it doesn’t affect him so why should he care? now you’re crying about opportunities being taken away from you as a black man #I’m getting off topic but it’s the same sentiments similar to what Pharrell’s coon ass is saying #he’s always been one actually #rambling #whenever someone goes on about being apolitical they’re already not worth listening to #especially since politics shapes our entire lives like do you not care about what will happen to you #and what’s happening to people across the seas and in other countries like what is the real reason why sm ppl chose to play apolitical #I don’t want anyone around me if I can’t talk about politics with them or know where they stand as far as politics go #at the end of the day who cares about what a celeb has to say on politics since #I always go back to that one section in Dave Chappell standup (I know this was before he became what he is today… he was so normal back #then holy shit🗿) where he was taking about how ppl are super private about their politics and also #him going on about how ‘who tf cares about what ja rule thinks’#😭…. that’s literally it!!!#but to an extent it’s relalr dangerous to see ppl with such gigantic platforms and notoriety spew shit like this as if it’s normal #it only helps tp further push anti intellectualism and so on #like how are you an adult and you don’t care about politics #that’s embarrassing

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scarlettfevor · 13 days ago

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I almost never go on ao3 anymore, like I honestly think I've pulled up ao3 a total of 5 times this year. But last night I decided to start reading scarian fics because like I've said before I've never actually read a scarian fic before, and I ended up getting obsessed with this scarian zombie apocalypse au fic that's 300k+ words. I'm not even being dramatic when I say that I've spent close to 7 hours today just reading this fic. And of course, the one time I actually use ao3 as obsessively as I did in middle school is the day that ao3 decides to go down :\

#the pyre #the scarian fic is great #I was immediately drawn in bc the premise is that scar and grian are completely alone during the start of a zombie apocalypse #after scar broke up with grian after he found out that grians been cheating on him #at first I didn't like that plot point and was only reading to see how the author(s) would redeem grian #but now that I'm kinda done with it (stopped reading after chap 30 bc idc anymore)#I'm actually obsessed with scarians toxic mutually codependent relationship #I think that my problem is that I have no reservations about ascribing toxic traits to my fav ships #but I usually only do this for ship that I think/know are toxic #like I wouldn't be surprised if ppl thought that hannibal would manipulate will into staying with him #but scarians more...idk...pure of a ship #the fandoms like soo squeaky clean I was surprised that anyone was writing smut at all #so I don't think actually of scarian as toxic #but reading this fic made me remember how much I love toxic ships #and love the way their relationship was written #like grian being too much of a shithead asshole to actually apologize for cheating or any of the shit he's done to scar #but secretly being glad that the apocalypse started bc now scar can't escape him even if he tried?#amazing #no notes #problem is that now I can't read fluffy scarian fics #I just want this flavor of toxic scarian #like needy possessive clingy grian x scar whos trying to keep grian at a distance bc he knows he's bad for him but still loves him too much

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mifhortunach · 10 months ago

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#i’m a little drunk so forgive me please but #idk if it’s like.. bc i��ve been kinda down/moody anyway recently or if it’s bc i was gone for a week or bc i’ve finally picked up on it or #what - but i feel like legit kinda isolated now in work.. not in like some awful everyone deffo hates me way but in that bs olivia laing way #like it’s taken me way too long to notice that i’m not doing a good enough job making fuckn work-friends or whatever the fuck #& it’s so hard to say if that’s like. a me issue or if that’s bc fuckin almost all the people i work w are guys so i’m not a real person t #*to them!! probs fuckin both lbr - but it’s rly not helping shit yk #bc as soon as u go in knowing that ppl are talking 2 u for politeness then ur quieter so u look worse so there’s less talking etc etc etc #great fuckin stuff - ANYWAY remembered what i actually wanted to say #which was that i went to get some drinks w a friend earlier this week and god i wish i could like. this week just do ANYTHING #get properly pissed! see people & shit properly again; i miss having a proper social life and i’ve litch never had one #this is best left to be forgotten #so let’s not tag it lol - but anyway; anyone know how to make proper friends as an adult as a compulsive nonsharer & someone w/o interests!

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bunkernine · 2 years ago

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society if hoo had them at uni age and the lost trio went to chb and chiron is like "how tf are ANY of u alive and unclaimed". wilderness was just community college.

#on a serious note this changes a lot actually. annabeth and percy would not be in chb anymore so when percy goes missing #its like. a genuine possibility and fear because demigods don't make it that old. there is also some added time between tlo and tlh as well #further adding to jasons isolation as being even WEIRDER than everyone else. he also would've been praetor for longer so maybe the romans #wouldve cared more. this also does away with the plot hole of ppl not giving a shit that jason piper and leo (and dylan) straight up #dipped. introducing piper especially to a summer camp makes chb less appealing because they're too old for that and thus makes their #departure from chb make more sense in toa. yet also it opens up the possibility of new rome uni.... which i cannot see any reason as to why #leo would not go there!!!!! outside of being banned cuz he bombed new rome lol. but pipers sexuality arc works for college too!!! ur never #too old to find urself. but also this is the question of if you are able to relatively function in society (this is more for piper leo fran #and i guess percy) then why would you even fight this prophecy??? anyway lol them being college aged is perfect cuz percy is literally #going to a new place and having a new transition with new ppl... like u do in college LOL. now the question is would hazel still be 13. nic #is a lot older at this point and perhaps has the same age gap as bianca and him did 🤔 cant remember. but also don't know why hazel was 13 #in the first place lol. idk. in my college hoo she is just a senior in hs about to graduate from spqr and thinking about staying there or #possibly going to newru after seeing frank make the decision the previous year! SAD!#anyway in hoo. percy and annabeth are sophomores. frank and the lost trio are freshman.#but then in toa. percy annie frank and the lost trio are all graduating cuz percy got held back and Annabeth failed after tartarus fr.#but then also know that piper never went to newru and is adamant about going to mortal uni. and leo kills in newru but is bored. nvm i #forgot he died 🧍‍♂️ ummmmmm ok. ignore leo. and jason actually. so um. ok that really threw me off but are u getting it. that's when apollo #is like 'heeyyyyy i need help pwease 🥺' and they're all like 'dude.'#OK!#but also i ackowedge that this is a children's book and i am not its demographic so god be with you.

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ladyhavilliard · 1 year ago

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So. I think I do fixate on people, huh.

#i think part of it is that when i notice ppl paying attention to me #i get very conscious of it and start thinking about them a lot #i am pretty sure that is what happened the last time i convinced myself i had a crush #now i definitely think it isn't a crush #but that person was actually paying attention to me and remembers so much random shit that I didn't expect 😭😭😭#it was a bit of a creepy realization ngl. but it was all things i have either said or posted on my insta story so it's not “stalker creepy”#just... unexpected and weird ig #anywaysssss #now I keep on thinking about stuff he said yesterday #or things I could have said #and the fact that he was paying so much attention to me is just... doing things to my brain #i don't know if i like it #HSBSHDHSUA I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE KNEW WHAT THE GRISHAVERSE WAS but he remembered my love for Wylan #and said that I am probably a big wesper fan and that I love wylan cause I relate to him and am probably a hufflepuff #which... none of it was wrong or difficult to see. just wtf SINCE WHEN DO YOU KNOW SIX OF CROWS #i was too curious about his analysis of me to actually ask about that #but know i can't stop thinking about it. got me totally flabbergasted. has he read soc??? or did he watch the show???? none?? both???

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transsexula · 8 months ago

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Soo...... are we all just gonna forget about everything she did? Cool. Cool. Cool......

#LOVE when a band releases more music and people conveniently forget all of the shit thats happened #like i havemt been part of this fandom in AWHILE specifically because people continue to romanticize that god forsaken relationship #but the last thing i remember happening years ago was an actual physical abuse situation this guy was in #now ppl are posting videos with the abuser climbing that boy like a pole #youre kidding. right?#people will see a cis white woman being slightly weird and then defend her with their lives. thats an abusive piece of shit u have right #there but. go off i guess #if you know me you know what band this is about #if you dont know DONT dig theres a fucking reason im not tagging or putting names #last i remember her fans doxxed someone. so.#people like to act like the only reason you can hate this chick is bc youre jealous she has a relationship with a pretty boy #girl i dont want your sadboy twink. i just dont want you SLAPPING SOMEONE DRUNKENLY IN PUBLIC ?????#anyways i wish the rest of the band got some attention bc the actual music sounds rlly good #the entire reason i left the fandom is bc the stans of both that dude and the chick hes with.

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szczylpierdolony · 2 years ago

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so many things about me could be explained by the fact that i didnt know people hung out with their school friends during summer/school breaks until i was 17

#like obv i knew you could do that #but it never occured to me that it actually happens #i used to go to summer camp with school friends in elementary school but that usually made me feel worse #for gender reasons mostly #theres something cruel about being the only girl and being separated from your friends for that #i remember one year they wanted girls in one bus and boys in the other one #and if it wasnt for the fact that my mom decided it was stupid and that i should be able to sit with my friends and that there was luckily #a free seat in that boys bus i wouldve to ride alone #idk #but other than summer camps i rarely saw anyone during summer breaks #and it was always normal for me to not see or talk to anyone for 3 months #and idk now it feels like thats how im meant to spend my time so i continually turn everyone down when they ask me if i want to meet up #i was in a group chat with some uni friends a while back and group chatę always inevitably make me feel like im weird and boring and unfunny #and serce as a constant reminder that im not as good friends with anyone as they are with each other #and im not used to texting ppl either not unless i have a specific question thats usually school related #so i. just left that chat and i had people ask me about it bc they were worried the said sth mean/offensive #and i had to make a fool of myself and explain that it was anxiety inducing #everyone was nice about it but it still makes me feel like shit #but ik id feel awful if i stated in it too #anyway im never going to make real kasting friendships and at this point i dont even know if i want to

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orcelito · 2 years ago

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From what I can tell, ITNL is the only committed longfic time travel au for vashwood. Which is a Little strange to me, coming from p5 fandom where it feels like every other longfic is a NG+ au (not a bad thing, it's just very common)

And me sitting here like. Is there really... no one else doing one like this?

Makes me even more dedicated to what I'm doing lol

#speculation nation #itnl shit #not the only time travel au but most of them (from what i see at least) are time loops rather than true time travel #which the actual specifics of that are getting up to semantics i think. it is still time travel #but itnl is the only one that's got my specific explanation for it At The Very Least. which makes me feel a bit more confident #overall i just want to do something special. i want to do something New. & i want people to enjoy it.#discacc is a landmark for p5 soulmate aus and i want itnl to be a landmark for vw time travel aus #my specialty being finding a common trope that's not been done very much in a fandom (comparatively) & Committing To The Bit #41k feels so short to me still but it's among the longest trigun fics now. and it's only gonna keep growing.#shoot for the stars & all that business lol #full respect to ppl who just do one shots bc those r important too #but i have a fatal case of Look At This and Committing To The Bit that has me picking one idea and just shoving it in ppls faces #over and over and over again until ppl start to properly appreciate it. And So It Shall Go.#most of all i want to make something that will be Remembered. something that stands apart from the rest.#sentido is good enough with a relatively creative structure. but it's just smth that ppl read & think 'oh that was good' & then move on #i want itnl to worm into people's BRAINS. i want people to read it and feel flayed alive.#i want it to be something that people can never forget. and Such Is My Goal lol.#it's 10 am im still in bed and ive been here for almost 14 hours now. i have no business thinking this hard about this lmao #but the thoughts are there. i have a Goal. and im going to see it through.

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infizero · 2 years ago

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im going fucking crazy im going to bite someone’s head off kris and noelle deltarune making my brain fucking melt

#i make a post like this like 5 times a month anyways I NEED DELTARUNE CHAPTER 3 RIGHT FUCKING NOW. IM SO SERIOUS #i cannot think about this shit for more than 5 seconds without being filled with a desperate longing for new content #and the problem is I FUCKING THINK ABOUT THIS SHIT ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!#undertale and deltarune are the one thing that no matter WHAT im currently fixated on that shit is instantly my number 1 priority #like with other stuff i'll be like ooh that thing i like cool :) when its not what im currently fixated on #but it does not fucking matter WHAT the current brainrot is if theres any speck of utdr content im instantly there #even when it comes to shit that is not new at all. even if its just me seeing a piece of fanart or something #it sends me into a spiral every fucking time #i dont even remember what caused it today T_T #nothing will EVER make me as fucking crazy as utdr im so serious like. god. this shit is like crack for ambigiously neurodivergent ppl /hj #i could literally watch 5000 videos restating the same secrets and lore connections and shit over and over and over and i'd be happy #and yet theres somehow STILL things i dont know about like thats what rlly makes this shit so awesome is that there is somehow always more #undertale esp like it still awes me just HOW MUCH SHIT is in this fucking game. not even just content wise but in terms of like story #connections and all that shit #all the different unique neutral endings all of the extra dialogue and shit you get on repeat playthroughs and just #everything #and then w deltarune its awesome bcuz there is SO MUCH SHIT but.... its not finished. so unlike w undertale where theories are all more #after the fact stuff. deltarune its like you get to actually try and predict stuff ITS SO AWESOME #anyways if i dont get to see these characters have new little interactions and go on a silly little adventure full of charm and Themes that #has some O_O shit under the surface I WILL FUCKING EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAHHHHHHHH I CANT FUCKING TAKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!#serena.txt

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kuiinncedes · 2 years ago

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sndbddb

#it’s so weird seeing ppl from my high school and catching up bc like #i feel like i’m soooo different from hs 😭 and also i just like #don’t remember shit from hs i’m like i know i know these ppl but #i have no actual memories w them i just know they were There and honestly that’s probably all they can think for me too #anyway had a performance today and kinda accidentally had a mini high school reunion LOL it was rly nice :]#just have many thoughts abt interacting w ppl from high school ig 😂😭#cus like who r u !!!! who am i !!!!! like bro i (kinda) know how to start/hold conversations w ppl now the fuck #i need to sleep rip #jeanne talks

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phagodyke · 1 year ago

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I have to be up for work in 3 hours and I'm gonna be real I think ive hit the point where I might not be getting any sleep at all. for fucks sake.

#ive survived all nighters before ill scrape through the day itll just be Rough. at least i dont have much in my schedule #im not gonna take the dose this morning bc i think thats a really bad idea to do on zero hours sleep #and i can't risk two consecutive all nighters. like I have done that before but not while working full time 💀 its not worth it #drafting an email to my doctor to let her know im skipping day 2 + ask advice re. whether its worth resuming again on day 3 #bc she did list 'trouble sleeping' as a common symptom that often passes but i need to know a) how long it usually takes to pass and-#b) if this is unusually bad + would she rec supplementing with a sleep aid or just switching tack entirely and trialling a non stimulant #by this stage of the night i dont think its actually acting anymore bc i took it at 7am and its now 3am. it shouldnt last that long #i think its more just triggered my preexisting insomnia. my ability to sleep is very very sensitive sometimes + hates routine changes #just so fucking frustrating bc ive spent the past 2 months nailing my sleep routine + ive had a couple weeks of being able to-#go to bed like 9:30-10 and it only takes an hour to get to sleep and i get usually a good 7 hours sometimes 8 only waking once halfway #and i dont feel like utter shit like yeah im tired but from work not so much lack of sleep.... and now thats all fucked lmao #whatever. maybe i should just take the next dose anyway #ill see. gonna try to sleep for another 2 hours but once it hits 5 im not doing this anymore ive been trying for six hours already man #i cant even remember when i last pulled a full all nighter. it might be longer than 6 months ago... i was doing so well :-(#im so mad i was so hopeful it would have SOME good effect like ik its not a miracle worker + these things take time but so many people-#seem to have an immediate positive response even if its probably a placebo. and i got fuck all except This.#i was searching on the reddit for sleep issues and other ppl only seem to report bad ones on higher doses or years in..#like damn. do i even have adhd then. ik thats a stupid thing to think bc obvs everyones body metabolises meds differently etc but still #it is ALMOST HALF 3 and i am FUCKING TIRED #UGH. alright bedtime round 189447383 #.diaries #.vent

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prettyboyrose1974 · 1 year ago

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It’s really hard for me when some 14 year old tries to explain petekey to me. Like it’s been my life for 8 years at this point. I once had a kid send me MY OWN POSTS and that did it for me.

#when I got into this ship it was me and 6/7 other people #that was it #it’s really hard for ppl getting into bandom now to understand that #like 2015 doesn’t seem like that long ago #this ship wasn’t that big to begin with like in the early days #then Mikey and Pete stopped talking that much and it just died off #and it stayed a very small ship until literally two years ago #I remember seeing someone post about it on tiktok #and I FLIPPED OUT bc like that’s my ship #those are my boys #and now it’s just fucking everywhere #and ppl keep twisting things and making things up #like there’s enough shit these two actually did #you don’t need to make things up to prove it did or didn’t happen

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