#nothing like a frozen pizza while watching an episode of a comfort show

[cowboylikeyouu]

i could literally eat frozen pizza for every meal of every day i love it SO much

[squids-comics]

Hey remember when I said I'd post writing yesterday? I forgot about Full Comic Friday. So here it is now!! Here's Dual Identity Dysphoria!

Lewis was an average man on a good day. On an average day, he was slightly below average. He was weak looking and rather scrawny. He was the kind of guy who never put any care into his appearance. He had tangled, greasy hair and wore nothing but graphic t-shirts underneath oversized hoodies. He was the kind of guy who stayed up late in the night and slept till noon. He had very few friends, very solitary hobbies, and didn't know how to talk to women to save his life. He also had a deep secret he kept closely guarded. 

Each afternoon, he'd crawl out of bed, directly into the bathroom. He'd shower and shave and moisturize, all while trying to avoid looking in the mirror. He didn't like the thing that looked back at him. He didn't like the shape of its cheekbones, or how sharp its jaw was, or the lump in its throat. They didn't look right to him. They didn't fee right. He'd walk away looking rather patchy and spotty, as it's hard to shave without a mirror.

After that, he'd move back to his room to get dressed. He'd pull a shirt and a pair of jogging pants out of his clean-ish pile in the center of the floor. He'd grab one of his two black hoodies from the closet and throw it over top. The whole outfit probably needed a wash, but he wasn't going to leave the house today so it was fine. He made sure not to open his closet too wide when doing this. He didn't want to see what was inside. It wasn't time yet.

Lewis worked a nice remote job, meaning he'd get to lounge around on the couch while typing out some writeups or filing some digital paperwork or whatever else his boss emailed him to do. It was easy, it paid well, and he didn't have to talk to anyone. It wasn't very fulfilling, but he liked it. 

On his lunch break, he'd throw open the pantry and pull whatever he could find out. Macaroni, instant ramen, canned soup. Nothing was too high class for him (unless it took more than fifteen minutes to make)!

When his half hour lunch was over, he'd come back to find a new email from his boss with a new menial task for him to do. Which he would, without fail. He was a star employee, just as long as he didn't have to send any emails of his own. 

When he finally clocked out, he'd crack open his freezer and find something to have for dinner. His favourites included frozen pizza, frozen lasagna, and dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets. Sometimes, if he was feeling particularly adventurous, he'd try to make something more complex, like scrambled eggs. It didn't work out well most times, as he struggled with cracking eggs. They were so small and delicate, requiring the perfect application of force to crack the shell. Without enough force, their shell remains unharmed, leaving the egg relatively unchanged. Too much force would shatter the shell, destroying the egg and the nice comfortable life it had worked so hard to achieve. He didn't like when he tried too much force. It scared him. 

After dinner, he would jump back on the couch and flick on Supernova, his favourite sci-fi show. He liked seeing all the colourful alien worlds, and all the equally colourful people living on them. He'd typically watch for at least three hours, catching the newest episodes or watching reruns if there weren't any new ones out yet. Lewis had seen the reruns a thousand times already. But there was nothing wrong with watching them again. They made him feel comfortable. And he loved staying in his comfort zone, at least until his show was done anyways.

After he had his sci-fi fix for the day, Lewis would go back to his room and open his closet. It was time. The closet was originally designed to be a reach in closet, and still looked like one from the outside, but Lewis had refurbished it to be a walk in. Just behind the door was a rack of shirts and sweaters, hiding the deeper reaches of the closet. Lewis would brush them too the side and walk in. He'd quickly and quietly close the door behind him. He lived alone, but he still felt weird going in a secret closet with an open door. 

Inside the closet sat a mannequin torso and a separate mannequin head beneath a bright spot light. It proudly displayed what appeared to be a padded leotard made of rugged leather. The pads were especially thick in the hips and the chest, making them look particularly round. It was a maroon colour, with very bright red lace around the edges. In the center was a bright red spider web, stitched elegantly into the outfit. Even though it had been hand made and hand stitched, the leotard looked professionally done. On the head was a wig with shoulder length hair, a pretty bubblegum pink colour. The mannequins sat atop a chest of drawers and across from a rather large mirror. The spotlight showered the whole scene in a golden light, amplified by the mirror. 

Lewis ripped off his greasy clothes, throwing them in a heap on the floor. He couldn't get them off fast enough. He hated them. He avoided the mirror at all costs. He couldn't look in it yet. The reflected light from the mirror cast Lewis' shadow against the wall. He didn't like it's outline. 

He walked over to the chest of drawers and opened the top drawer. Inside were an assortment of medical supplies. A first aid kit sat open next to rolls of gauze, an alcohol based disinfectant, and way more rolls of medical tape than any normal person would need. Lewis grabbed one of the rolls and shut the drawer. Slowly and carefully, Lewis reached down to what was between his legs, tucking it back and taping it in place. When he was done, he returned the tape to the first drawer, before opening the second and retrieving a pair of pink leggings. Lewis slowly put them on, one leg after the other, ensuring they were on tight and flat. He put on a thin and breathable tank top shirt, made of nylon. He slowly lifted the leotard off the mannequin before slipping it over his shirt. It felt nice. Tight in all the right spots, with just the right amount of padding to sit on his frame.

The shadow on the wall was no longer as harsh. It seemed much rounder, with wider hips and a thinner waist. Lewis liked it, but they still wouldn't look in the mirror. They still weren't ready. 

Lewis opened the second drawer again. They pulled out a pair of fingerless red fishnet arm sleeves and slid their arms inside. Finally, they placed the wig on their head and turned to look in the mirror.

This was her favourite part. She loved the big reveal every time she saw it. Her hair was stunning, flowing down the sides of her head and resting softly on her bare shoulders. Her suit looked wonderful, giving her the hips and chest she desperately wished she was born with. Lewis was no longer in the room. He was gone. He had been replaced with The Seamstress. And it was time for her to go out on patrol.

There it is! I hope you liked it! Today's comic strip will be moved to tomorrow and Science Sunday will be swapped with a poll about writing. Hopefully next week will be back to normal schedule!

[wwinterwitch]

just friends — k. bishop

summary: You have a bad day and your best friend (who happens to see you as more than a friend) comes cheer you up

pairing: Kate Bishop x gn!reader (they/them pronouns used)

word count: 2.2K

warnings/what to expect: friends to lovers dynamic

a reblog would be very much appretiated!

The moment you opened the door, Kate was on the other side with a bunch of bags on her hands. Pizza dog made his way inside your apartment, already used to him and Kate visiting you.

"Okay, I think I brought all we need for sad-miserable-day."

You grinned at how genuinely concerned she looked and how serious she took the situation. You had texted her a few minutes ago, saying you were having a pretty shitty day, and now she's at your apartment with apparently a whole supermarket inside those bags.

Kate looked at you with a worried expression since you weren't moving from your spot on the door. "I can come in, right? Do you want me to go?"

"Of course you can come in, silly," you replied, allowing her to walk inside and closing the door behind her. "So what did you bought?"

"I was hoping you'd ask! Right, so I went to the store and got a box of chocolates, lots– and I mean lots of candy, two frozen pizzas for us and the dog– he loves pepperoni ones so I got that one, tissues in case we need to cry at some point, this incredibly soft pillow I had to get because I know you like those and– in my opinion the best thing, I found these really funny glasses with a mustache. I got us a pair so we can match. I even bought one for the dog! Oh, and I got a bottle of tequila just in case."

During her whole little speech you couldn't stop smiling at how adorable she looked, all excited over the things she got you in hopes to make you feel better. When she was done talking, you walked up to her and wrapped your arms around her, pulling her in for a hug. You couldn't really see it, but she had a huge grin on her face the moment you hugged her.

"You're the best friend ever, have I told you that?"

Aaaaand she was pulled back to reality. It felt like a slap in the face, really. Getting all excited for a hug when she knows you only see her as a friend. Why would a pair of glasses with a mustache attached to them make you suddenly want to confess your undeniable love for her when you haven't shown interest in all the years you two have known each other? It was stupid to even imagine this was more than a person showing affection to a friend.

"You might've mentioned it a couple of times," she joked, pretending everything was fine.

It wasn't hard for her to act like she wasn't miserable every time she was reminded she got stuck in the friendzone. She's been pretending for a few years now, not daring to say anything about her feelings because she fears to ruin the friendship. Kate has always tried to remain optimistic about the situation and try to remind herself she's lucky to have you in her life, even if she's just your friend.

But sometimes it was so hard to remind herself she's just a friend. 

"Are you joining us or what?" she heard you asking, walking over the living room where the Pizza dog was already at, laying comfortably on your couch. 

Kate soon snapped out of it and joined you and the dog. While you looked for anything interesting to watch on Netflix, Kate took the time to grab a few blankets before sitting on the couch next to you, making sure to cover the two of you with one of the blankets and leaving one for the dog.

"I was trying to find something new to watch but I guess we're sticking to Modern Family."

"I love Modern Family," Kate replied. "We can watch that. If we already watched it like a hundred times, why should we stop now?"

You put a random episode of the show and laid back next to Kate. All the candy she has bought was on the coffee table in front of you. As soon as you press the play button, Kate spoke again.

"No, wait. I didn't bought these for nothing," she says, taking the pair of glasses and mustache.

"And you want me to wear that thing now?"

"Yes, now!"

You laughed at her but accepted the glasses she was offering you. She tried putting the other pair on the dog but he clearly wasn't a fan, taking them off as soon as he could, earning a complain from Kate and another laugh from you.

"If I were to know neither would want to wear the glasses, I wouldn't have bought them."

"I loved the glasses, Kate. Truly," you quickly replied. "They make me feel better already."

Kate looked at you for a second and smiled, appreciating you would say that. She turned to look at the dog who laid peacefully next to her, but didn't attempt to put the glasses back on. He is a very stubborn dog, and if he didn't like the glasses he's definitely not going to wear them. Ever.

You finally started the episode and began eating the various candy Kate bought for you. The three of you watched about six episodes until you decided to take a break. Watching Modern Family never failed to cheer you up, and with Kate and the dog to keep you company was even better.

Pizza dog could almost read minds whenever there was pizza involved, so he was the first one who jumped off the couch and followed you into the kitchen when you went to cook the pizzas. He stood next to you, patiently waiting to receive at least a slice.

"You know, you should definitely consider growing a mustache," Kate joked as she walked into the kitchen too. "Looks good."

"Perhaps I will," you replied.

"I hope this is all making you feel better."

"It really is. And I really appreciate the fact that you came here just to cheer me up."

"Well, that's what friends are for," she replied. "Are you still feeling sad about the audition?"

You sighed. "I really thought that was going to be my chance. Apparently it will only be another reason for my parents to remind me I should've never dropped out of business school."

"Hey, I love your parents but in all honestly, fuck business school. You absolutely hated it! And if Broadway makes you happy, then that's what you should be doing. It's about what you love, not what they love."

"You make it sound so simple," you smiled rather sadly.

"Well...it kinda is. Look, all you need to focus on is being happy. If they can't understand what your true passion is, then that's their problem. Not yours."

"Thank you, Kate. Your support really means a lot to me."

"I'll always support you."

You smiled after her comment, not being able to hold yourself back from hugging her for the second time that evening, wanting to show her just how much it means to you to have at least one person who truly support all of your choices.

Once again, it was hard for Kate to remind herself this was just a friend hugging a friend. She returned the hug and practically counted the seconds until letting you go, not wanting to hold on longer than what a friendly hug is supposed to last. Is that a thing or am I completely losing my mind? she thought.

"Speaking of the whole acting situation," you began as soon as you pulled away from your hug. "I had an audition last week. I didn't want to say anything to avoid the embarrassment of telling you how I got rejected again, but...I mean, maybe this one could work."

"Oh my god, that's great! I know they'll call you anytime."

The two of you spend all the time that you were eating pizza talking about your audition. Where it was, what is the play all about, how it was the whole experience, etcetera. Hearing you talk about it with such hopes filled Kate with so much happiness. She absolutely adores watching you talk about your passions, watching as your whole face lights up and how you can't contain yourself from talking. It was a privilege for her to hear you talking about what you love most in the world.

After eating the pizza, you were heading to your bedroom to get a hoodie since it was getting colder. When you got to your room, your phone started to ring. You rarely ever get any phone calls, so you instantly went full panic mode as you remembered you were waiting a call from the people you auditioned in front of.

Rushing back to the kitchen, you showed the phone to Kate, feeling like you could throw up any second now. "I'm getting a phone call."

"I see that. Are you picking up?"

"It could be about the audition!"

Kate furrowed her eyebrows slightly, not understanding your point. "That's exactly why you should pick up, right?"

"I– I'm gonna pass out," you muttered right before answering. "Hello? Yes, it's her speaking...yes...okay...I– what?...are you being serious right now?...I mean, sure! Yes!...Yes!...Thanks you, goodbye."

As you hang up, Kate looked at you expecting to know what was that about.

"I GOT THE PART!"

"WHAT?"

"I GOT THE PART!"

"OH MY GOD, I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA GET IT!"

You practically ran up to Kate and embraced her as tight as you could, her hugging you back just as tight, both of you screaming and cheering. At one point you both began jumping, still hugging, still screaming.

"I can't believe I got the part!" you said in disbelief, pulling away just enough to be able to look at her. You both stopped jumping, standing in the middle of your kitchen.

"This is amazing. I'm so proud of you!"

Maybe it was the fact that Kate was way too excited or maybe it's the fact that she always seems to forget you two are supped to be just friends, but right after saying that she took a step closer to you and kissed you. You barely even got time to process what was going on before she abruptly pulled away, visibly shocked for what she was done.

"I– I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that."

Still slightly surprised by the sudden kiss, you were able to shake your head just slightly. "Kate, it's fine–"

"I didn't mean to do that! It was just–"

"It really is no–"

"Excited about you getting that part and I–"

"Kate, it's not–"

"Completely forgot where we were and–"

"Kate–"

"I'm very sorry, I'll never–"

Realizing there was no way to get her to listen to you, the only way to get her to shut up again was pulling her back in for another kiss. This time, it lasted much longer. Kate was obviously surprised to have you kissing her, but figured that you were okay with it if it was you the one who started it, kissing you back. Her kiss was timid, like fearing you were going to pull away any time and she is going to make a complete full of herself. She even thought at one point that she was going to abruptly wake up any minute, realizing this was just some sort of dream.

Are you really kissing her? Is she really standing in your kitchen, kissing you? This is definitely not what "just friends" do.

When you pulled away from the kiss, Kate looked more confused that ever, not understanding why you would even kiss her. You noticed her confusion, which made you smile. So she never noticed you've been having a crush on her all these years?

"So, you...?" she started, not knowing how to continue with that question.

You blushed a little, shrugging. "I thought it was obvious?"

"I– obvious? What was obvious?"

"Well, if you have to ask then maybe it wasn't that obvious."

"No, it was very much not obvious. I was obvious."

"You were not!"

"Okay, hold on. So all this time we've had a crush on each other but we are that dumb we never realized?"

"Apparently. I feel so stupid."

"Yeah, so do I." There was a brief silence between you two before Kate continued. "Uh, just letting you know, about that kiss...I mean, you can do more of that if you want."

"Weird way of saying you want me to kiss you again, but I'll take it."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just found out my best friend likes me when I've liked them for a very long time so excuse me if I talk weird."

You chuckled, wrapping your arms around her waist to pull her closer to you, kissing her again. This time the kiss didn't last long because Pizza dog seemed appropriate to interrupt at that very moment, jumping on top of the two of you, barking.

"Not now, buddy!" Kate complained, looking down at the dog as he shook his tail, almost looking happy by the scene in front of him.

"Maybe he wants to pee?" you suggested.

Kate groaned, pulling away from you. "You're supposed to be my friend, Pizza dog, not ruin my fun!"

You watched as she went to get her coat and got ready to take the dog for a walk. When she was ready, she turned to look at you to ask if you'd like to go with them, to which you agreed. As the three of you were making your way to a nearby park, Kate was pleasantly surprised when you reached to grab her free hand.

If this was in fact a dream, she wishes to never wake up.

[theirbbygirl]

Second Lead Syndrome

Word Count: ~8.7k words

liked this? there’s more on my masterlist!

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Comedy, Female reader insert

Description: Y/n and Minho have been friends for more than 2 years now, but suddenly she begins to see herself as the mere second lead in Minho’s story. Will she be the rare second lead who gets her own happy ending?

Warnings: some crying, themes of unrequited love (if there’s anything that I missed don’t hesitated to let me know!) 

I’d only ever encountered Second Lead Syndrome in the dramas I’d watched. Wanting the girl to end up with the second lead who was so obviously the better and healthier choice, but like every avid watcher of kdramas, it's more than likely for the main leads to end up with each other, that was just how it worked. What I never thought I’d encounter was seeing it happen before my own eyes and experience it firsthand.

Life was never supposed to be a kdrama. Life was supposed to be simple, a straight line, going from point A to B with no complications. But life never really went my way did it? It just had to throw in one variable, one man that had too much influence on my life. 

I couldn’t remember the first time I met Minho. It was probably sometime in the first grade when his family first moved in next to mine. But alas, we were both too young to remember exactly what sparked our friendship. One day we were strangers and the next we had given our parents a near heart attack when we both went after a stray cat on the way back home (my mom’s words, not ours).  From then my memories were filled with him, just us besties hanging out like anyone would with their best friend. First party, first mental breakdown, first drink, all with him. Soon enough we were in our final year of University, and ultimately, adults. 

The Minho I knew was laid back, not too extroverted but not too introverted either. While I completely contrasted him, always anxious about something, wanting perfection to the T, and completely and utterly introverted.  Our friendship, moving into University, sparked a lot of questions. You wouldn’t typically find the introverted straight-A student with the borderline badboy tsundere walking and laughing in the halls together, spending practically every waking moment together. But Minho didn’t care, and neither did I, so we moved through life pretty easily. 

One of the few things we had in common was our love for cats, and when we both foudn out there was a cat cafe just a few minutes walk from our campus, you best bet we spent too much of our time and money there. Studying, hanging out, anything you could imagine. If we weren’t in one of our dorms, we were more than likely to be in the cat cafe. 

Every day after class we’d go there and we’d complain about our least favorite professors and how lectures would seemingly last for longer than they should. Additionally, Minho had almost become akin to my own dormmate with how much time he spent in my dorm. He’d come in whenever he wished, stealing my frozen pizzas and sodas, using my Netflix account on my TV to watch weird National Geographic shows and make random comments like “that snake looks just like Kim Seungmin,” or “look its Hannie” whenever a squirrel came on screen. Minho was always there when I needed a drinking partner after bombing a test or assignment, pouring me shots of soju until I passed out and bringing me to my bed and tucking me in whiel he would sleep on the couch to make sure I wouldn’t do anything stupid in the middle of the night. 

Although, more people knew Minho’s name than mine, but that didn’t bother any of us. We continued on being friends as usual, and it felt like nothing would change that. Life was moving in a straight line like it should’ve always been.

At least, that’s what it felt like until February, just a few months before we graduated. 

I make my way to our usual spot in the courtyard after buying an iced coffee and a snickers bar from the vending machine next to my classroom, I walk up behind Minho sitting on a bench when I find him staring out in front of him instead of looking at cat videos on his phone like he usually does. Slowing my walk, I trail my eyes to the vague direction he’s facing and see that he’s looking at Kim Seungmin and a girl chatting outside the classroom. I ignore the thought, opting to think that Minho must’ve spaced out thinking about how he would irritate Seungmin next class. I plop down next to him when he still doesn’t take note of my arrival, so I get right next to his ear and blow cold air into it, snickering when he jolts in surprise. 

“What was that for?” He whines, fake annoyed.

“You got lost up in your thoughts for a certain Kim Seungmin there.” I snicker some more, opening my snickers (hehe) bar.

Just as I’m about to take the first bite of the sugary goodness, the chocolate bar gets snatched out of my hands and a certain Lee Minho takes an obnoxious bite out of it, not even giving it back but eating it like it was his. I pout, watching him devour my snack, knowing that I couldn’t do anything to get it back. 

“For your information, I was not thinking about Kim Seungmin.” He says pointedly, slightly muffled by the chocolate in his mouth.

I sigh, knowing I wasn’t going to get that chocolate bar back any time soon, and open my iced coffee. “So what were you thinking about then?” I ask before taking a sip.

“Don’t know, spaced out.” Is all the answer I get and I highly doubt him, but I brush it off anyways and don’t pry. 

Minho and I slide into our usual conversation about assignments, plans for the week, and everything under the sun. We talk about how he’s planning to visit home the next day and stay for a weekend and how excited he is to see his cats after a long time, I unknowingly smile at his ramble about how talkative Dori is, and just sit back and listen. I never took into account how healing it was to just watch and listen to him talk, the sultry of his voice and his little exclamations of frustration or excitement that came once in a while. I had to catch myself from staring when he turned to look at me, having asked me a question I didn’t catch.

“Sorry what was that?” I ask.

“Am I that beautiful for you to have lost your hearing to my handsome face?” I couldn’t just tell him that that was basically what had happened, it would inflate his ego by too much and reveal everything I’d hidden thus far.

“The heck? No, I was thinking about how great it would be to get some peace and quiet while you’re not around this weekend.” I lie, having Minho around is the only thing that brings me entertainment that isn’t endless sappy kdramas on my laptop, but he can never know that. 

Minho scoffs, says something under his breath that I don’t quite catch, then turns back to me. “You love me.” He says with a pout.

“Unfortunately I do.” 

That was the first of many inconspicuous confessions. 

It was nearing 3 or 4 am and I was about halfway done with another kdrama when several knocks resound through the small living space. Knowing exactly who it is, I only shout back “you know the code!” and moments later the door opens. 

I don’t bother to get up and greet Minho, this exact scene has happened too many times for either of us to care at this point, and it doesn’t surprise me that the moment he enters he shouts, “Honey I’m home!” like we’re in some cheesy romcom. 

“Mhmm, welcome home, leech.” I enunciate the last word purposely, but I know he won’t bat an eye at the term. I continue to chew my popcorn while he wanders through my cabinets, looking for snacks. “There’s chips in the cabinet next to the fridge and sprite in there too. If you want more food order Chinese takeout.” 

“I don’t have my wallet.” I can practically hear his pout from where I sat, eyes unmoving from the TV screen. 

“You know where mine is, but you have to pay me back.” A few seconds pass with no response until suddenly he’s next to me and kissing my cheek.

“I loveeee you!” He says too sweetly, retreating back to the mini-kitchen to order takeout.

“Mhmm, I love you too.” I say, not loud enough for him to hear the confidence missing from my tone. 

Continuing to watch the episode of in front of me, I remain in my comfortable position, only moving to lift my legs when Minho comes back to sit on the couch under my legs and the blanket. 

“Oh you’re watching this one?” He asks, reaching into the bowl of popcorn I offer him.

“Yeah, didn’t have anything else to watch so I put it on since everyone seems to like it so much.” 

“Mm,” he hums while also indulging himself into the scenes playing in front of him. “You’re probably team potato guy, right?” 

“What kind of question is that? Of course I am!” I scoff.

“I don’t know, I still think she should end up with Jae-eon.”

“Are you crazy? He literally leads her on like every playboy and is ruining her mentality by not defining their relationship.” 

“Yeah, but they’re so cute together, and you can totally tell he feels something for her.” He argues.

“Just cause they’re cute together doesn’t mean they’re good for each other, the entire guy is a walking red flag, I don’t understand why she doesn’t just walk away when she’s had experience with a shit boyfriend.” I sigh.

“You, have major second lead syndrome.” He points an accusing finger at me.

“So what? It’s for good reason, the main lead is toxic as fuck and you can’t change my mind.” I upturn my nose, turning back to the TV and continuing to watch the episode. 

The mentioning of the second lead sends a flurry of thoughts into my brain for a reason I can’t comprehend. Sometimes the main leads aren’t that bad but still we want the main character to end up with the second lead, maybe out of our own natural selfishness because we prefer the second lead more. I shake the thoughts away, trying to convince myself that kdramas were only works of fiction and too cheesy to be real, yet for whatever reason I always felt a connection with the second leads, like our emotions directed to our crushes were the same, because I knew that I would always be the second lead in Minho’s story. 

Minho’s name was always called out more times than mine was growing up, which I didn’t really mind until our hangout time would be seriously cut down because he had to hang out with other friends. Don’t get me wrong, I loved that he had friends, but there was a little bit of selfishness in me that wanted him to myself.

A new drama and a few episodes later, plus Chinese takeout, lead to our eventual demise. We both fall asleep on the couch in less than comfortable positions and wake up with stiff-neck, us groaning at the pain. 

We continue on with our usual morning routines, taking turns freshening up in the bathroom before heading out for breakfast at Paws and Pastries since we were both too lazy to make food ourselves. Besides, hot coffee in the morning plus good sandwiches AND cats? What more could you ask for?

When we enter the cat cafe I notice a familiar face behind the cashier, it was the same girl Seungmin was talking to on Friday, and the same girl I caught Minho staring at. We walk up to the cashier, I order my food first, a simple breakfast sandwich with a coffee to go with it and wait next to Minho to finish ordering. 

I made the mistake up glancing up at his face as he was telling his order to her, Ahra, her name tag read. There was something in his eyes that glinted that I had never seen before, not when he talked to Han and not when he talked to me. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of emotion in the middle of my chest before forcing myself to look back down, inserting my card and paying for everything. I sent the girl a thank you and a kind smile after she told us our food would be right over, and both me and Minho went over to our usual table in the back corner next to the cat’s jungle gym and right up next to the window. I get lost in my thoughts while we begin playing with the cats we were so accustomed to. 

Like most second leads, I knew exactly what my feelings were. I was practically an adult, how could I miss the fast beating of my heart or my clammy hands whenever I was around him? But again, like most second leads, I knew I’d never get a chance with him, not when everything we did together was purely platonic. It was painfully obvious that I’d be stuck with an unrequited love for who knows how long, and I couldn’t just detach myself from him all of a sudden to get over my feelings because a) he’d notice and force me to tell him what was wrong, ultimately leading me to tell him that I had feelings for him, and b) the moment I would come back or see him for even just a second I know I would develop those feelings all over again. Neither of which were choices I was willing to take so I suck it up and see him every day, ignoring everything my heart was telling me. 

I look up from the cat that I’m petting in my lap and look at Minho again, only to find him staring at Ahra who was taking people’s orders with a perfect pearly smile. It was in that moment that I knew, I had just found the female lead of Minho’s story.

3 weeks go by in a similar manner. Minho and I see Ahra around campus a few times and with some twisted fate, she’s on the clock every time we go to Paws and Pastries. Minho, being his smooth self, easily gets himself acquainted with her. They laugh and giggle so naturally and can slip into conversation so easily I’m almost envious of Minho and his non-introverted self. 

Not being one to try and stop fate, I watch it all happen. Telling Minho to ask her out already and teasing him about how lovesick he gets when he sees her nearby or at the cafe. I know Minho likes her when he blushes or gets defensive whenever I mention her in our conversations even though he’s never explicitly told me himself. I put on a face in front of him whenever these conversations come up, not wanting to get in the way of his happiness. 

One day some of our friends want to meet up outside of campus, we make plans to meet up at a bowling alley, ready to have fun until the late evening hours. Seungmin brought Ahra along with him, asking if it was okay to invite her since they were friends. Everyone agrees and we all meet up as planned. When everyone gets there, including Seungmin and Ahra, we introduce ourselves, Minho not having to introduce himself and easily speaking with her like they always did whenever running into each other. All the the boys have raised brows and mischievous smiles as they watch the interaction between the two, but only one looks at me in concern. 

A majority of the night passes by with laughter and teasing, how Chan was terrible at bowling this night and Minho easily beating him despite never doing too well on our previous adventures to the bowling alley. I spend the night with the rest of the boys, while Minho and Ahra spend time getting to know each other even more. There’s a point in the evening where I see Minho hold out his phone to Ahra to exchange numbers, I can hear her giggle when they take a selfie together, probably for her profile picture. I have to turn my head away quickly to ignore the cracking of my own heart when Minho puts his arm on the couch behind Ahra, he does it so naturally, yet he’s never done it with me. I will my thoughts to focus on the game and not on Minho, not noticing the same pair of concerned eyes until they speak up.

“Are you alright?” Hyunjin asks. 

“Hm? Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” My voice cracks halfway through and I try to hide my sad eyes, even though I was fully aware that Hyunjin had probably noticed that something was up.

“‘Cause you seem pretty affected by that scene over there.” He motions to Minho and Ahra with a nod of his head. 

“It’s nothing, Hyun, just nice seeing Minho talking to more people.”

“Y/n, you know he talks to people all the time, and you’re not nearly as affected then as you are now.” 

“Hyunjin, really, it’s fine.” I try to convince him but he says something that lets me know that he knows.

“You like Minho.”

“What? No that’s absurd I-“ He looks at me pointedly, and I sigh in defeat. “Yeah, okay, you got me.”

“Why don’t you say anything? Clearly it hurts you to see him like that.” He refers to Minho getting cozy with her.

“Hyunjin, it’s clear that everything we have is platonic, he even called me his sister several times. And who am I to get in the way of him getting into a relationship? That’s not my place to say anything, especially when his last girlfriend was 2 years ago.” 

“I get that, but shouldn’t he at least deserve to know? He says that he knows everything about you, but there’s one thing that he doesn't. You know practically everything about him, isn’t it a little unfair?” 

“We have choices as to what we share with each other and what we don’t, it’s his choice to tell me what he wants to and my choice to tell him what I want to tell him. Besides, he hasn’t even told me that he has a crush on Ahra yet.” 

“So maybe he doesn’t then.” 

“Hyunjin, just look at him, he’s a puppy in love.” I glance back over to Minho and Ahra sitting parallel to us. Minho is smiling brightly, more brightly than I had seen in a while and I can’t help but let my lips upturn at the corners just slightly in another sad smile. 

Hyunjin sighs next to me, and I look back to him. “I’m sorry y/n, I really wish he would end up with you instead of her, it doesn’t seem fair to you.”

“Hey, don’t say that, Ahra seems like a nice girl, she and Minho will get along great. And nothing in life is fair Hyunjin, that’s just something you come to accept.” I say, getting up. “I’m gonna get some drinks, does anyone want anything?” I ask everyone.

“Cola!” “Me too!” “Me three!” “A lemonade please.” A few of the boys shout back.

“Anything for you guys?” I turn to Minho and Ahra. They both shake their heads. “Okay then, I’ll be back in a minute guys.” I smile at the group before going to get the drinks. 

While walking away from the group I let a teardrop fall from my eye, wiping it away just before I order.

Life’s unfair, that’s just something I have to accept. 

A week goes by and Minho’s talking about how he and Ahra message often, how he thinks they get along well and he’s gonna ask her out.

Another week goes by and they’ve gone on their first date, he takes her to the beach and they have a picnic. 

Two weeks after that they’ve gone on several dates and are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, I don’t even find out separately at this point, I find out with the rest of the group over dinner.

A few days after that Minho calls off one of our late night binge watching sessions, texting me an apology and that Ahra needs him. I tell him it’s okay and to send my regards to her. 

It’s a week and half after and Minho regularly calls off our meetups at the cafe after school or at one another’s dorms to tend to Ahra. I tell him it’s fine each time and to not feel bad. He did the same today, and I sit alone at our usual table, mindlessly petting a cat in my lap while zoning out into in my mug of coffee. 

All while this happens, I watch, and I let it happen. I don’t fight for him because it didn’t feel right, sometimes second leads let their love fall for someone else, and that’s all it felt like I could do. 

Fighting for Minho felt selfish, especially when I knew I had no chance and he’d already fallen for Ahra. I couldn’t suddenly come out of the blue and tell him “hey, I have feelings for you,” when he’s already dating Ahra, I’d look like a major asshole if I did. All I could do was watch and see how we begun to drift farther and farther apart. 

With Minho being absent more often, I don’t get to tell him much. Like the internship offer I got to continue pursuing graphic design in Itaewon. I got the email almost a week ago, and I had two more weeks to decide if I was going to take the offer. With nobody to consult about it with I continue to push it to the back of my mind, not wanting to deal with more stress just yet. 

Just as I’m taking another sip of my coffee a familiar head of long blonde hair enters the cafe. My head tilts to the side in confusion as he scans the room for someone when he meets eyes with me, he makes his way over and sits in the seat in front of me and doesn’t say anything.

“You’re rarely on this side of town, why are you here?” I ask Hyunjin first.

“I heard something from Ms. Kim in our art class and needed to know if it was true.” He says seriously.

“What…” I feel like I know what he’s going to say, but I ask anyways. “What did you hear?” 

“That you were offered an internship in Itaewon.” 

“Hyunjin I-“

“Is it really true? She said you had two more weeks to decide, how come you haven’t told anybody? Does Minho know? Are you gonna leave? What about-” He begins to spurt out question after question and it’s almost too much for me to handle.

“Hyunjin!” I raise my voice just slightly to get him to stop but I have to turn it down again when the volume of my voice makes a few of the other customers’ heads turn. “Calm down, yes it’s true, yes I have two more weeks to decide if I’m going or not, I didn’t know how I would tell any of you, no, Minho doesn’t know and I don’t plan on telling him.” 

“Are you… Are you gonna take the offer?” He asks slowly.

I prop my elbows onto the table as the cat leaves my lap and my head drops into my hands as I sigh in exasperation. “I don’t know.” Tears are gathering in my eyes as I think about it. 

“Y/n, have you thought about the offer at all?” 

“Yes and no.” I don’t need to lift my head to sense Hyunjin’s confusion. “It’s hard to think about it when you’re watching your crush of 2 years date someone else while you’re also trying to finish up your senior year. But it’s also all I can think about when I’m alone, which I find myself a lot, thinking about having to find a place to live in Itaewon and transfer and mentally prepare to leave you all here, but if I don’t take it then it’ll be even harder to find an offer like this. It’s all I can think about and also something that I can’t bring myself to think about, Hyunjin.” I lift my head and my teary eyes meet his own. 

“Y/n…” His voice breaks saying my name.

“I think I’m going to take it.” I pause. “Once I finish all of my final assignments the only thing I have left to really worry about is graduating and finding a job, and I don’t think I can take watching Minho and Ahra anymore Hyun, I don’t think I can stomach it. I’m happy for them, I truly am, but it’s also affecting me and I don’t think I should ignore that anymore. If I’m in Itaewon I have a job and I won’t have to worry about feelings anymore, two birds with one stone.” 

I see the hesitancy in Hyunjin’s facial expressions before he speaks. “If that’s what you think you should do, then I’ll support you all the way. But shouldn’t you tell Minho about this?” 

“I’m not, because if I do, Minho is gonna find some way to get me to stay and I’ll crumble and stay because he affects me the most.” Hyunjin merely nods in response. “Hyunjin, you are the only one that can know about this, okay? I can’t have everyone else know this, especially Minho, okay?”

Hesitation again, and then, “Okay.” 

Hyunjin keeps his promise, he keeps the secret of me leaving from everyone. Even as graduation inches closer and our group begins to talk more about job searching, what comes next, and similar topics, the two of us keep it a secret. Whenever they asked me what I was thinking of doing next I always just told them “oh probably looking for internships nearby,” and no more questions are asked. 

Minho and Ahra were still very much in love, even more than before, if the growing absence of Minho’s presence was anything to go by. I barely saw Minho anymore, maybe catching him at the end of the hall every once in awhile, but he was always walking with Ahra so all I could say was “hello” and “goodbye.” 

Each goodbye begun to hold more and more weight as the days passed. Even the short ones I would tell Minho after passing him in the halls. I couldn’t even conjure how I would tell everyone, maybe send a letter to each of their places? A text message? Tell them after the graduation ceremony just before I left for the train station? I thought about how I would say goodbye as I begun to pack up my dorm. Graduation was nearing, I had already turned in all of my final assignments, and all there was left was to pack. I would leave after the ceremony ended, sometime in the afternoon. I wouldn’t even get the chance to properly celebrate being graduates with my friends because I was leaving in the afternoon. I’d get situated in my new apartment in Itaewon and get accustomed to new life outside of Gimpo. 

The thought of leaving panged my heart harshly, I had never left Gimpo permanently before. Sure, I had gone on trips to the US and Singapore and Seoul before, but I had never moved from Gimpo. I was born and raised in Gimpo, met Minho and all of our friends here, so the thought of moving for the first time did something to my heart. I attended all of our group hangouts with a nostalgic mindset, remembering the first time we all met, when we all got wasted one time on a Friday night after some big exam week. I look around our table of friends and think about how much I’ll miss all of this when I leave for Itaewon. 

Another thing that panged my heart, Minho and I distancing. I knew it was coming, Minho and I didn’t text or talk about hanging out anymore. He walked Ahra to her classes now, and had dates with her after class instead of meeting me at our cafe. Eventually I stopped getting apology messages, and stopped expecting him at the cafe anymore. I couldn’t blame him, Ahra was his girlfriend and I accepted that long ago. Instead I just played the supportive friend on the sidelines, and I’d continue to play that role for as long as I had to. 

It came to be the night before we graduated, and all of us minus Minho and Ahra were sat around a table in one of the restaurants we frequented, it wasn’t too late in the evening, and we all just sat in silence after finishing our food with bottles and glasses of soju now sitting in front of us. A majority of our meal was full of reminiscing, talking about memories that crack everyone up and left smiles on our faces. 

“So, we really graduate tomorrow, huh?” Changbin says when the table quiets down.

“Yeah, I guess we do.” Chan says quietly. 

My eyes tear up and I begin to sniff without control, the weight of my department tomorrow weighing heavily on my shoulders. Hyunjin puts an arm around my shoulders and gives me a tissue, whispering “it’s okay, it’s okay” to me while I try to calm down.

Everyone looks at me in confusion before Chan speaks first. “Y/n are you okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I just…” I trail off, not sure what to say.

“Do you want to tell them?” Hyunjin asks softly.

“Tell us what?” Seungmin says this time.

Hyunjin looks to me first before nodding, and I begin to spill my secret. “I got an internship offer.” 

The table erupts in cheers and I get congratulations thrown back at me before I can even continue.

“But…” Immediately everyone silences and looks to me in expectation. “It’s in Itaewon.” 

There’s a tense air that falls around us. “What?” Felix says in disbelief.

“You’re not leaving us, right Noona?” Jeongin asks from another part of the table. 

I look to Jeongin with sad eyes, smiling sadly. “I leave tomorrow, after our graduation ceremony.” There’s some gasps around the table.

“What?! Y/n, why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Changbin blows up and Chan has to place a hand on his shoulder to restrain him.

“I didn’t want every time we met leading up to graduation to feel like a goodbye, Bin, I couldn’t handle that. So I kept it from you all so there wasn’t this tension every time we met.” I explained.

“Does Minho know?” Seungmin asks this time, and I shake my head.

“Y/n…” Han says worriedly.

“Guys, I know I’m not the only one that’s noticed that me and Minho aren’t that close anymore, so I haven’t really gotten the chance to tell him. But I told Hyunjin this a long time ago, that I wouldn’t tell Minho specifically, because there’s some things that I need to figure out and if I told him he’d find some way to keep me from going, or even worse, follow me. At least with Ahra by his side he won’t follow me to Itaewon.” There’s nods all around the table, understanding where I’m coming from.

“We’re gonna miss you a lot.” Felix sniffs and I coo, getting up from my seat to wrap my arms around him from behind. 

“I’m gonna miss you all too.” I sniff with him, a few tears escaping my eyes. 

Chan comes to join our hug, then Han, then Jeongin, and soon enough everyone has joined the group hug with me in the middle. All of us are crying, and I had never felt more loved than that moment. 

Eventually we break away from the hug and return to our seats, everyone dabbing at their eyes with tissues and sniffing. 

“Let’s all stop crying, tonight is a night to celebrate, all of us graduate tomorrow, and our dear Y/n got an internship offer in a big city!” Han holds up a drink and we all do the same, cheering and clinking our glasses together and celebrating the night away. 

The next morning I get ready for graduation early, putting on my makeup and doing my hair, and sending a message. 

to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

hey, can you meet me at p&p in thirty?

My heart picks up the pace as I send the message, I didn’t expect him to answer so quickly yet his message pings my phone within 2 minutes. 

from: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

sure, i can be there

to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

sweet, i’ll see you there

I turn my phone off and take a deep breath, we still had a few hours before we had to be at the school for our graduation ceremony, I’d have to leave just a few minutes after the ceremony ended which wouldn’t give me enough time to tell Minho, so, I made the painful decision the night before to tell him in the morning. I’d do it in our favorite spot in the corner of our favorite cat cafe, tell him the news slowly and hope that he takes it well. 

I leave my house and 15 minutes later I’m in our usual booth, my coffee order sitting in front of me and the cats all wandering around as there weren’t too many people since it was relatively early in the morning. I already bought Minho his typical Iced Americano and it sat in front of me, awaiting it’s owner. 

10 minutes later Minho arrives and makes his way to the table, sitting in front of me, smiling, unknowing of what’s about to happen. 

“Hey.” I smile at him.

“Hey you.” He smiles back brightly. “Sorry I couldn’t see you guys last night, I took Ahra out for dinner last night on a date.”

“It’s completely alright, how are you guys?” 

“Pretty good, things are going okay right now.” He answers.

“That’s good.” Nervously I take a sip of my macchiato in front of me, my leg bouncing in anxiety. 

“Y/n? Is everything alright? Your leg’s bouncing pretty fast right now.” Curse Minho and the fact that he knows so much about me, he reaches out for my wrist and checks my pulse, quickly noticing how fast it’s beating as his brows furrow in confusion. 

“Minho, there’s something I need to tell you.” I say, retracting my wrist from his grip. He doesn’t answer me but instead tilts his head like a cat does when it looks at its owner questionably. “I’m leaving.” 

“What?” He asks.

How could one look so endearing, head tilted and eyes full of emotion as I break the news to him? I ask myself. “I got an internship offer for a company in Itaewon, I accepted it and I’m leaving for Itaewon, today.” 

“You’re leaving today?” He says in disbelief, sounding out of breath.

I nod and continue. “After the graduation today I have to catch my bus. I didn’t have any other time to tell you so I had to tell you now.” 

“You’re… You’re just telling me now? Do the others know about this?” 

“I only told them last night.”

“You couldn’t have thought of telling me sooner?” He starts to get angry.

“Minho I-“

“What happened to telling me everything, huh? What happened to when we used to know everything about each other?”

“Minho, those days are long behind us, you have bigger priorities now, like putting your focus on your girlfriend, Minho. I couldn’t tell you because I knew you’d do something rash, and I didn’t even tell the others until last night because I knew every time we’d see each other it would be like preparing for the day I leave. You and Ahra have something so great going on for the two of you right now and telling you that I was leaving would take you away from that, and I can’t do that to you or her. Ahra is an amazing girl, and you have her now.”

“Will you at least visit?” His eyes are full of tears, some of the first I’ve seen in years and I hate that I’m the cause of it. 

“I don’t know yet, there’s some things I need to figure out myself first, before I can visit. But at some point maybe I will, when I’ve figured things out I’ll try visiting from time to time.” I offer him a sad smile. 

After a few moments of silence I get up from my seat. 

“We still have a graduation left, Min, I’ll still see you then.” I ruffle his hair and walk out of the cafe, no more secrets but one weighing down on my chest. 

The Graduation ceremony passes by in a blur. One moment we were listening to the speeches of each of the professors and the next we were tossing our caps into the air, cheering as we became alumni of our university. 

Our friend group met up in the front of the school, taking pictures with our parents and congratulating each other. Eventually, the time comes and I have to go. 

Our group stands in a circle, unmoving, as we all look at each other. 

“I’m gonna miss all of you so much.” I say in tears as my voice breaks.

“We’re gonna miss you too, Y/n.” Hyunjin says. At his words everyone gathers into a group hug full of tears and the weight of a goodbye on our shoulders. 

“You better promise to visit us, okay?” Felix holds me by the shoulders and makes a point to look me in the eye. Not trusting my voice, I nod and he brings me into one more hug. 

I hug each of them individually, saying a few words, before I reach the last person. 

I hug Minho and look into his eyes for the last time for a while.

“I’ll miss you.” He whispers.

“Me too.” And that’s all I can say. 

I leave the campus for the last time, hopping in my car to head to the station and start anew.

Second leads always leave in the end, they leave and let the two main leads have a happy ending. That’s what it felt like I was doing, and I couldn’t tell if I was content with my choice or not. 

Two and a half months in Itaewon passes quickly. 

The move into my new apartment was smooth, and it was odd to be in a bigger space than a small dorm room. It felt like I had more space than I knew what to do with. 

My internship was moving along smoothly as well, everyone I had met so far were really kind and taught me a lot. I was worried about feeling out of place but I had met a few other girls not much older than me who helped me feel at home. 

Being alone in a big city was unnerving, but what made it so much more comfortable was the addition of a cat that my parents had bought me as my graduation gift. She was a chartreux cat who I named Luna because I had always dreamed of naming my first cat that. My parents covered most of the costs of basic things like cat toys, a scratch post, her bed, and similar things. I thanked my parents endlessly when they came over to my apartment a week after I had moved in and gave me Luna. I wasn’t gone for too long during the day and always left food for her, she was great company when I came home and worked on projects late into the evening, curling up into my lap like the cats at the old cafe used to. She was my best friend in a city I was still getting accustomed to. 

I hadn’t talked to the guys much, I’d talked with them a few times in the group chat about how their job searches were going and trips they were planning to take soon. It was nice talking with them every so often but all of us were still pretty busy moving onto the next chapter of our lives. 

I hadn’t talked to Minho since I left, I’d assumed that he and Ahra were doing well, but that’s all that was, assumption. None of the boys talked about him and I couldn’t understand why, but I never asked since I was supposed to be moving on from my feelings in the first place. I thought I had been doing pretty well until something would come up that reminded me of him, like his favorite song would play in the cafe I bought my morning coffee in and spent my breaks at, or snapchat would send me “Today, 1 year ago” memories of him and me fooling around at Paws and Pastries. Whenever that would happen I’d be sent back to square one, and it felt like I’d never move on from Minho. 

I was on my way out to grab a coffee and spend my off day walking around, maybe looking into a few shops when I got a call from Hyunjin.

“Y/n! My favorite girl, how are you?”

“Hyunjin? What’s with the call?”

“What? Can I not call my friends from time to time?”

“Not when you’re notorious for calling your ‘friends’ after you’ve done something wrong.” I sigh.

“That was one time! Besides, it wasn’t that bad.”

“You dragged Jeongin to a party! And got him wasted!” 

“One. Time. Y/n. It was one time.”

“One time is enough for you to be in trouble for life, Hyun.”

“Okay, whatever, but I was meaning to ask you, what’re your plans for today?” 

“Me? I was just planning to go out, today’s my day off so I was gonna visit this one cafe and see some shops, why?” 

“No reason, what time do you think you’ll be home?” 

“Maybe five?”

“Great, okay, I have to go now, Han’s calling me, bye!” Hyunjin hangs up before I can ask him what’s with the weird questions.

“Hyunjin- Oh great he hung up.” I put my phone in my pocket before looking down at Luna who’s stretching near my legs. “Your uncle Hyunjin is quite the odd one, isn’t he Luna, hm?” I ask her and she meows back in response. “Weird indeed, but that’s just how he is. Mommy’s gonna spend her day out and then she’ll come home and we can watch the TV together, okay? I’ll be home soon.” I pick up Luna and set her on her little bed before ensuring everything is safe and make my way out the door. 

I spend the day eating at a large cat cafe that actually had an assortment of books with little reading areas while the cats roamed around everywhere. It was much bigger than the cafe in Gimpo, but I would always correlate that one with home. 

After I spent a bit of time reading there I went out and explored the shops for a few hours, bought some new jeans and a few blouses plus some makeup things. I got Subway for lunch and explored just a little bit more before heading home. Instead of going straight home, I decided to take the long way, going through the streets not minding the extra weight the few shopping bags I was holding in my hands gave me. The sun was just barely beginning to set as I walked into my apartment complex, getting into the elevator and pressing the button for my floor. 

I walk down the hallway to my door and am surprised when a familiar figure greets me there. 

“Minho?” I say as I walk closer. 

“Y/n!” He says happily, bringing me into a hug. 

“What are you doing here? Actually- Wait- Don’t answer that, do you wanna come inside?” I ask him.

“Sure.” He responds. 

I unlock the door and bring my bags in, setting them by the door. “Luna! Mommy’s home!” I call out automatically.

Luna meows and comes out of the bedroom, walking her way up to me before I pick her up. 

“You got a cat?” Minho asks.

“Yeah, parents brought her to me about a week after I moved in.” I put Luna back down and she moves to sit on the arm of the couch, her favorite spot to sit when the sun goes down.

“And you named her Luna,” He smiles fondly. “You always wanted to name your cat Luna.” 

“I’m surprised you remember that.” I chuckle. “Do you want some coffee?” 

“Sure.” 

“I’ll get that brewing, just give me a few minutes, you can take a seat on the couch and make yourself at home!” I tell him as I quickly retreat to the kitchen.

I have to take a few breaths when I’m far away enough from Minho, my heart beating just as fast as it would when I was around him back then. It was clear I hadn’t moved on at all. 

I brew the coffee as promised and wait next to the coffee machine with two mugs ready. A voice chimes in behind me.

“Your place is much bigger than the dorms.” He chuckles.

“Tell me about it, it was so weird buying more furniture than I was used to.” I laugh with him. 

The machine finishes brewing the coffee and I pour it into the two mugs, putting it on a tray with creamer and sugar before bringing it all to the coffee table in front of the couch. 

Minho and I take seats on the couch, separated by a bit of space between us while we sip on our respective mugs.

“So,” I start the conversation. “How’s home?” 

“Not too bad, same old same old, the guys being annoying as usual, you know?” He says.

“Sounds fun.” I chuckle. “And work, have you found anything yet?” 

“Not yet, I’ve got a few applications out, but I’m still waiting on some answers.”

“I’m sure you’ll get them soon.” I respond. 

An uncomfortable silence sets over the both of us, and I run my free hand through Luna’s fur who’s situated herself in my lap this time. I take a long sip of my coffee before asking another question.

“How’s… How are you and Ahra?” 

“Oh…” He trails off. “We broke up a few weeks ago.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that…” I had no idea that he and Ahra had broken up, in fact that was the completely opposite of what I thought had happened since they seemed to work together so well. 

“Yeah, it was a mutual thing. We didn’t really feel that kind of connection anymore, you know? So we just, broke it off.” 

“Are you okay?” I ask Minho.

“Me? Yeah, I’m actually not as affected as I thought I’d be, I don’t know if that makes me a cruel person or not but I was only sad for the first week or two. Nothing too bad.” 

“I see.” Another silence settles between us. This one is longer, more tense, there was something Minho wanted to ask but he wasn’t sure, and I couldn’t depict what question he was going to ask.

“Actually, I came her for a reason.” He says.

“And what reason is that?” I ask hesitantly.

“For answers.” My brows furrow, answers for what? “There’s something Hyunjin told me recently and it got me thinking, and I wanted to hear it from you if it was true.”  

I finish my coffee and place it down delicately on the coffee table, trying not to show how nervous I was with how badly my hands were shaking. “I’ll see if I have answers for you then.” 

“When you told me you were leaving, you said you had some, things, to figure out on your own. What was it that you had to figure out?” 

I take a moment to decide exactly how I was going to answer his question. Did I want to expose my feelings to him just yet? “Just, feelings.” I say vaguely.

“For?”

“Just feelings for somebody.”

“Is it Hyunjin?”

“No.”

“Chan?”

“Nope.”

“Changbin?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Me?”

I pause for just a half second, and apparently that was all Minho needed. “I guess Hyunjin’s big mouth was right after all.”

“Wait- What? What are you talking about?” 

Minho takes a long sip of his coffee before finishing letting out a sigh after swallowing, he slowly sets the mug on the table before making direct eye contact with me and silently killing me with the suspense. “Minho please just say something you’re killing me here.”

He only chuckles in response. “Hyunjin told me not too long ago that you took up the offer to work here because you were going to sort out your feelings, for me.” He says sweetly as I suck in a breath at his last words. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Minho-“

“Now now, Y/n, we shouldn’t hide things from each other anymore, should we?” His sweet, sultry voice was affecting me greatly as he leaned closer to me on the couch. I gulp and silently curse when Luna, the only thing keeping me sane, leaves the comfort of my lap for her scratch-post. 

“Minho…” I let out quietly.

“Tell me, Kitten, is it true?” He asks once again. 

“I-“ My voice catches in my throat when Minho leans in ever nearer, still making direct eye-contact with me. “Yes, it is.” I sigh out and Minho backs away. 

“He was right.” Minho whispers while my gaze drops to my hands that I fiddle with in my lap at the secret that’s let out. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry.” I whisper.

“Why are you sorry darling?” He asks softly and uses his thumb and forefinger to tilt my head up by my chin. 

“I couldn’t tell you because I knew you didn’t feel the same, and then when you got together with Ahra we drifted apart because it hurt me to see you with her. Then I left and told you about me leaving so last minute. I made you cry, Minho, and I hate that I did. But I couldn’t see any other way out of it. I hurt you because I was cowardly and didn’t want to be selfish by telling you and having your attention move off of Ahra, when I was really being selfish by not telling you and hurting you in the end.” More tears escape my eyes as we look at each other.

“Princess, no…” He cups my face with his hands and uses his thumbs to wipe away my tears. “I’ll admit, it did hurt when you told me that you were leaving the day of, but I understood where you were coming from. Because you were right, I would have done something crazy to keep you by my side. Do you know why?” He asks, and I shake my head, still crying. “Because I need you by my side, kitten, even when I was dating Ahra I felt off but just didn’t pay any mind to it because I had her. But now I know it’s because you and I were drifting apart, I found out when after you left and me and Ahra broke up because I felt empty. I couldn’t text you to just come over anymore because you’re farther away from me now. I lied earlier, I said that I sent out some applications for jobs but didn’t get any answers yet, right?” I nod. “I got offered a job as a software engineer, here, in Itaewon, and I said yes.” 

“Why?” I whisper.

“Because I want to be near you, I need to be by your side Y/n, because I love you.” I let out a sob at his confession and he coos, bringing me to rest my head on his chest and rubbing his hands on my back and running them through my hair. 

“I love you too.” I say after a few minutes. 

Minho brings me out of his hold, and cups my face again. For the first time, he kisses me. His lips brush over mine before deepening the kiss, taking full charge of it yet somehow still being soft with me. His kisses were nothing short of addicting, and I knew I’d be in love with him for a long time. 

In that moment, kissing the man of my dreams, I remember that it may be rare that a second lead gets their own happy ending, but it’s not unheard of. Sometimes the main lead and second lead do end up with their own happily ever after. 

Notes from the author: I have FINALLY posted something y’all 😂 took a few months but she’s here, and she’s dishing out something at least. I don’t know how often I’ll be posting again, esp with school and whatnot, but I do know I need to drain out my drafts because phew, it’s getting a little full in there. 

But anyways, I hope you enjoyed this fic! I’m pretty sure it’s one of the longest I’ve written if not the longest. Hopefully it wasn’t too bad, I’m probably a little rusty but we can fix that (i think)

if you want more I still have my old stuff up on my masterlist on my account! hope to see you around :))

-nyx

[dottielovegood]

ASMR - Chapter 4

Elriel fanfiction

About this fic:

Azriel can’t sleep Elain has an ASMR channel Match made in heaven (or you know, on youtube..)

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You can find chapter 1 here, chapter 2 here and chapter 3 here

Read this fic on AO3

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The following week, Azriel read Elain’s messages too many times to admit. He had answered her that “meat banjo” was, indeed, a vile word, and after that, they hadn’t really talked or texted.

He had saved her number as “Elain”, which had felt weirdly private. As if they were friends, which they were not. He was just her friendly helper, and she was his remedy for nightmares.

However, even though they didn’t know each other, Azriel felt an odd sensation in his chest when he thought about her. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought that he was missing her, which was absurd. But the tight little knot in his chest felt very much like longing. He tried to tell himself that this was weird and stupid. He knew that he had a crush on her (even though he hated to admit it), but he could also see that it was a pointless crush. She was an internet sensation, he was a boring IT guy. She was light and happiness and flowers, he was dark and brooding. She made people smile, he made people uncomfortable. And then there was the practical side of things. They had met on the internet. She probably lived on the other side of the country. Hell, she could even live in a different country for all he knew. She might have a partner already - it’s not like he asked. And, last but not least, she probably didn’t have a crush on him.

Before talking to her on the phone, he had just thought that she was a pretty girl that deserved kindness. But after their phone call, he had definitely developed a crush. Which was another reason why he hadn’t texted her. He didn’t want to bother her and he didn’t want to have this crush. He wanted to stop feeling like this for a girl he would never see in real life. Yet, every night before bed, he found himself on her youtube page, watching one of her many videos.

She uploaded a new video to Youtube every Friday, so when Friday came around, Azriel was itching to get home so he could go to sleep (he told himself that he was looking forward to sleeping and not to seeing her face).

However, he had an entire workday to get through first. The office was mostly an open landscape and Azriel’s desk was next to Cassian’s. The only person with his own office was Rhysand, which was fair since he was the owner of the company. At two in the afternoon, Rhys poked his head out of his office.

“You guys are still coming for dinner this weekend, right?”

“Yeah,” Azriel and Cassian answered in unison.

“I told Feyre that I would help her with the food,” Azriel continued.

Rhys looked like he was going to kiss Azriel. “Oh, god. Thank you, man. I was scared that we would have to repeat the Christmas dinner,” he said and shuddered.

Feyre hated to cook and Rhys did most of the cooking at home, but for some inexplicable reason, she always wanted to cook for holidays or family dinners. To everyone’s dismay. Christmas had been no exception. She had burned the turkey, added salt instead of sugar to the dessert and somehow managed to buy the wrong berries for her cranberry sauce. Luckily, Rhys had been prepared and bought a few frozen pizzas and some ice cream, so the day wasn’t that much of a disaster, but nobody wanted to brave Feyre’s cooking again.

“Why don’t you just cook?” Cassian asked without looking up from his screen.

“You know that she kicks me out if I so much as go near the kitchen when we have these family dinners. And since she started the hormone treatment, she has been a bit bitchy when she gets mad, so I’ll just do whatever she says.”

Azriel chuckled. He could tell from Rhysand’s tone that Feyre had been more than “a bit” bitchy.

“I don’t understand why she lets Azriel help, though…”

“Maybe because she knows that I’ll tell her to sit down with a glass of wine and a magazine, and then she can take all of the credit for the food?”

“Fair enough.” Rhys shrugged. “Just burn the food a little bit, or it won’t be believable.”

Cassian snorted. “No one would believe that something edible was made by your wife. Sorry.”

“She does make a great green smoothie, though,” Rhys grinned and held up his glass.

Azriel and Cassian looked at each other and had to bite their tongues to keep from laughing. The smoothie looked vile and smelled even worse.

After a few more minutes of small talk, Rhys went back to his office for an important phone call. “See you on Saturday,” he reminded them before closing the door.

Azriel and Cassian worked in silence for the remainder of the day.

When Azriel came home that evening, he made a quick pasta carbonara to eat in front of the TV. He was re-watching New Girl. It was his comfort show and absolutely nobody knew that he watched it (and had watched it multiple times). He would take that information with him to the grave. But it was fun and cute and sometimes he liked to imagine his friends as characters in the show. Cassian was probably Schmidt, because Nesta was one hundred percent Cece. Feyre was Jess, which meant that Rhys was Nick. And then there was Azriel. He wanted to say that he was a very cool character, but most characters on this show weren’t cool, and also, he was definitely Winston. Alone with a cat - sounds about right , Azriel thought to himself as he finished his bowl of pasta.

When the episode ended he just waited for the next to start. He didn’t have any plans for the night and nowhere to be. His phone vibrated where he had left it on the kitchen counter. He ignored it, feeling too lazy to get up. But then it vibrated again. With a sigh, he got up. He expected to see a text from Mor telling him to bring wine tomorrow, or maybe a strange meme from Cassian. What he didn’t expect was to see Elain’s name on his screen.

He could feel his heart in his throat as he read her messages.

Elain Hey, Shadowsinger. I’m uploading a new video soon. You should watch it!

Elain I hope that message didn’t sound creepy? I just meant that I think you might like it.

Azriel’s hands were sweaty.

Azriel You didn’t sound creepy at all. Of course, I’ll watch your video. May I ask what I can expect from it?

Just seconds later, Elain answered.

Elain You can ask, but I might not tell ;)

Azriel Should I be worried?

Elain Haha, no! I think it turned out great. You were my inspiration :)

Azriel could feel himself blush. He had never been someone’s inspiration before.

Azriel So, I’m your muse? ;)

Oh god, was that too flirty? Was the winky-face too much? He wished that he could take back the message.

Elain For tonight, yes!

Azriel stared at his phone, unsure of what to answer. Luckily, Elain wrote to him again.

Elain What are you doing tonight?

Azriel Nothing. Just eating pasta and watching TV. How about you?

Elain That sounds amazing. I have been editing this video for hours so I’m just tired and cranky, haha. I have just ordered a pizza and I think I’ll just eat it in bed as soon as this video has finished uploading. What did you watch?

Azriel If I told you, I would have to kill you.

Elain Oh, intriguing! Is it trashy drama? I bet it’s Grey’s anatomy! Or maybe… Love Island?

Azriel stared at his phone. Did she really think that he would watch something like Love Island?

Azriel I watched New Girl, okay. Don’t tell anyone.

Elain Your secret is safe with me! Also, I love New Girl! Especially Winston!

It felt as if someone was squeezing Azriel’s heart.

Azriel Really? Which character would you be?

Elain My pizza is here so I am going to put all of my electronics in a different room and eat my pizza while reading a good book. It was great talking to you, Azriel! Please tell me what you thought of the video when you have watched it.

Elain Oh, and I would probably be Winston’s cat. lol

Azriel almost dropped his phone. If he had to be alone with a cat for the rest of his life, he would definitely want Elain to be his cat , he thought to himself. Which was a weird thing to think about someone you didn’t know. Azriel dropped his head to his kitchen counter and took a deep breath before replying.

Azriel It was great talking to you too, Elain. Enjoy your dinner and your book :)

She didn’t answer, but she didn’t have to. Azriel was going to be thinking about her for the rest of the night anyway.

30 minutes later, he got a notification telling him that Flower Girl ASMR had uploaded a new video. The video was called “ASMR for IT-guys”, which made him chuckle. He clicked the video and Elain’s beautiful face filled his screen again.

“Hello, my lovelies, lovelies, lovelies,” she whispered in her microphone. “This week’s video will be a bit different,” she continued, slowly moving her hands in front of the camera. “This video was inspired by my friend who recently helped me with some computer-related issues, issues, issues.”

Azriel loved it when she repeated words like that. And he liked that he somehow was a part of this video. It was something that connected them. Azriel paused the video and got into bed, knowing fully well that he would probably fall asleep soon if he kept watching this.

He pressed play again. “So, today, I thought that we would try a few computer-related triggers. I have a keyboard here,” she said and started typing on a keyboard that was out of view. “I thought that I would say a few trigger words while typing them.”

She smiled at the camera and pressed a few more keys. “I just wrote my friend’s name, but you won’t get to know who he is. But you know who you are. Thank you for your help!”

Azriel felt all warm inside.

She continued the video. “The first trigger word is IP address ”. Azriel laughed as she repeated the word multiple times while typing quickly.

“And then we have, laptop, laptop, laptop,” she continued, and Azriel felt shivers go down his spine when she popped the p’s.

Azriel had never thought that he would fall asleep to someone whispering “HTML coding” in his ears, but here he was. Relaxed and ready to sleep.

All thanks to Flower Girl ASMR.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

The next day, Azriel texted Elain that he had loved the video. He waited for hours, but no reply came. Maybe she just wanted to repay me for helping her? Azriel thought. Maybe she would stop talking to him now that he had seen the video.

The thought of never talking to Elain again made him feel a new kind of ache in his chest. An ache he didn’t want to feel. This stupid crush needs to end, he muttered to himself as he started to scrub his kitchen counter. He tried to ignore the feeling by keeping busy. He cleaned his apartment and did some laundry before heading over to his friends’ house.

Rhys greeted him by the door and ushered him inside.

“She started cooking like 15 minutes ago, please save whatever can be saved,” he whispered to Azriel. Azriel chuckled and made his way to the kitchen. On the way there, he passed the living room and stopped to greet his friends. He saw most of them on a daily basis because of work, but he was still happy to see them. Cassian and his fiancée Nesta sat close together on one of the green velvet couches. On the opposite couch sat Mor and Amren. Mor was one of the journalists at Velaris News, and Amren was an editor. They had known each other for years. Amren and Rhys had studied together at university, and Mor was Rhysand’s cousin. Once upon a time, Azriel had a crush on Mor. One night after one too many glasses at Rita’s he confessed his feelings to her and she had looked horrified. He had expected her to tell him that she didn’t fancy him and leave it at that, but instead, she had blurted “I like girls!”

Azriel was the first person she ever came out to, and he had felt honored. He also knew now that they wouldn’t have worked out together in the long run (even if Mor had been straight). They were just too different. She was energetic and outgoing and fun, he needed peace and quiet. But she was still one of his very best friends.

Amren on the other hand, he didn’t know as well. She had always been very private, but she was damn good at her job.

“Where’s Varian tonight?” Azriel asked Amren, trying to make small talk.

“How should I know?” she answered quickly. “I’m not his mother.”

Cassian stared at her. “But you are his girlfriend?”

She shrugged. “I don’t like to label things.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. Amren had lived with Varian for the past two years, but she was still reluctant to tell anyone about their relationship.

Azriel made his way into the kitchen, and from what he could tell, he made it just in time.

“What are you making, Feyre?” he asked, because truthfully, he couldn’t tell.

Feyre turned around quickly as if he had startled her. “Oh, hi Az,” she said and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand.

Something was burning.

“I was trying to make lamb chops with glazed carrots, roasted potatoes, and salsa verde, but…” she gestured to the stove, which looked like a disaster.

Azriel chuckled. “That’s ambitious.” He lifted the lid from one of the pots and could clearly see that she had overcooked the lamb 10 minutes ago. Also, why had she made them in a pot, and not a frying pan? It would be inedible.

The potatoes were still in the sink, unpeeled.

She gave him a strained smile. “Will you help me?”

“Of course.” Azriel put the grocery bag he had brought with him on the kitchen island. “On one condition.”

“Anything.” She sounded desperate.

“Please, for the love of god, let Rhys cook when we come over. You really don’t have to show off. You are good at many things, Feyre. But cooking is unfortunately not one of them.”

She nodded. “I know,” she sat down on one of the stools at the kitchen island and buried her face in her hand. “I just...I need to be able to cook when I become a mother.”

Azriel took her hand in his. “You really don’t. Nobody expect fathers to be good at cooking, so why should every mother be good at it? Honestly, just let Rhys cook while you play with the kids.”

She smiled at him. “That actually sounds amazing,” she sighed.

“Right?”

Azriel started to pull out some ingredients from the bag on the kitchen island. He held up the tomatoes and the spaghetti, “How about some pasta arrabbiata with burrata?”

“Sounds fancy.”

He shrugged. “Everything sounds fancier in a different language. It’s just pasta with a spicy tomato sauce, and burrata on top.”

“Whatever you make will probably be better than that mess,” she said and glanced towards the stove. Azriel couldn’t disagree.

“Probably,” he laughed and got to work. Azriel placed all the pots and pans in the sink and started chopping the vegetables for the sauce, and in just 30 minutes, dinner was served.

“You are my hero,” Feyre said and kissed his cheek as she carried the big bowl of pasta to the dining room.

Everyone had already gathered around the table, wine glasses in hand. As Azriel sat down, Mor poured him some wine.

“This looks amazing,” Nesta said and Cassian nodded in agreement.

“Thanks, Az helped a little,” Feyre said and winked at Azriel.

“Just a bit,” Azriel said and took a sip of wine.

The conversation (and wine) flowed freely, as it always did. Cassian and Nesta told them about their wedding plans, Mor gushed about Emerie, a girl she was dating, and Feyre told them about life as a high school art teacher. Azriel would never understand how anyone could choose to spend their days with teenagers, but Feyre loved it.

After two bottles of wine, Nesta and Mor were in an argument about which animal was the cutest.

“No, I am telling you, Sloths are cuter than any animal ever,” Mor exclaimed. “Have you seen their dopey little faces?”

“Sloths? Really?” Nesta looked at her as if she had suggested that the sky was green. “Red pandas are way cuter! They are cute and cuddly, Sloths just look like every single stoner I went to high school with.”

They had been at it for 10 minutes, which Azriel found to be quite impressive.

“Can you both just shut up?” Amren gritted out. “The cutest animals are koalas. They’re even cute when they fight. I am right, you are wrong. Please stop this meaningless discussion before I die from boredom.”

Nesta and Mor looked at Amren, and then at each other.

“We obviously have to see Koalas fight if you want us to end this conversation,” Mor said.

Nesta nodded. “Obviously. Give me your phone, Az,” she said and reached for his phone.

“Why do you need my phone?”

“Because mine is dead and yours is right there on the table. Also, your screen is big and we need to watch this in full HD, for obvious reasons.”

Azriel huffed a laugh, unlocked his phone, and handed it to Nesta.

She clicked the Youtube app, and then her face fell. She looked at Azriel as if he was an alien, and then she showed the phone to Cassian who looked at him with the same facial expression.

What the hell had they found?

He didn’t have anything weird on his phone. And he sure as hell didn’t watch porn on it.

“What?” Azriel asked, and Nesta turned the phone.

Fuck. The last video he had watched was still loaded on Youtube, and of course, it was Elain’s latest video.

“What the hell is this?” Nesta asked, almost looking angry.

Azriel didn’t understand why she found ASMR so wrong, but he desperately wanted to explain himself.

“Well, it’s ASMR. It’s kind of… well, it’s hard to explain, but it helps me sleep and– “

Nesta interrupted him before he could finish. “I know what ASMR is. I am wondering why you are watching Elain?”

Azriel stared at Nesta in shock. Did she also like Elain’s videos? But that wouldn’t explain the anger and confusion.

“Do you...know her?” Azriel asked.

“Yes, we went to university together. She’s our florist for the wedding. She was the florist at their wedding, too,” Nesta answered and gestured towards Rhys and Feyre. “Surely you have met her?”

Azriel could do nothing but shake his head in confusion. If he had ever met Elain, he would have known. You didn’t forget a face like hers.

“Please tell me you’re not stalking her like some creep, Az. Honestly, her last boyfriend was the world’s biggest asshat.”

“I’m not stalking her,” Azriel blurted out. “I’m just watching her videos to fall asleep, I promise. I– I didn’t know that you knew her.”

Nesta eyed him suspiciously. “So, is this just a coincidence?”

He nodded. “Weirder things have happened,” he said, trying to lighten the mood.

Nesta glanced at Cassian, and then back at Azriel. “Fine,” she said after a small eternity. “You would probably be cute together anyway. Sorry for insinuating that you would be a stalker.” She really did look remorseful. “That wasn’t fair. I’m just very protective of her. She’s the nicest girl, but she has horrendous taste in men.”

Azriel couldn’t answer, because his mind was still stuck on the fact that Nesta said that they would be cute together. He wanted to ask Nesta why she thought that. He kind of also wanted to ask her if Elain lived here in Velaris, and what her favorite movie was, and if she, by any chance, had a boyfriend. But he refrained, he didn’t want to sound like a stalker.

“So, what the fuck is ASMR?” Cassian asked. “Is it like porn?”

Before Azriel could answer, Rhys said “It’s like porn for your ears, I guess,” and then the entire table was laughing.

“Nesta,” Feyre said when the laughter had died down. “Does Elain still have that cute, little shop on River Street?”

“Mhm,” Nesta answered and took a sip of her wine.

Azriel could kiss Feyre for asking. And if he wasn’t mistaken, he could see her wink in his direction before raising her water glass to her lips.

Azriel walked home that evening with a million thoughts in his head.

He made a list in his head:

Elain lived in Velaris

River Street was literally a 10-minute walk from his home.

Nesta thought that they would be cute together

This meant nothing

She probably didn’t even like him back

Just because they were in the same city, it didn’t mean that they would ever meet.

This was still just a crush

And it was probably one-sided

She hadn’t even answered his latest text message.

And as if on cue, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

Elain I’m sorry that I didn’t answer you earlier. I’ve been at work all day. We had a leak in the basement and everything was just chaos. I haven’t even checked my phone until now.

He mentally scratched number 9 from his list.

Azriel No worries! Did you fix the leak?

Azriel checked the time on his phone: 23.30

Had she dealt with this leak until now?

Elain Yes! But so many flowers were ruined (I’m a florist) and I had to remake a few arrangements for a wedding that’s coming up.

Elain I’m sorry. You probably don’t care. I’m happy that you liked the video :)

Azriel wanted to tell her that he did care. That everything she said was interesting to him. He would probably even find her Starbucks order fascinating. But that bordered on stalker behavior.

Azriel Again, no worries! Sometimes when you’ve had a bad day, you just need someone to vent to.

Elain Exactly! Thank you for letting me vent :) This day is finally over!

There was a selfie attached to the last message.

Elain was standing in front of a big window surrounded by flowers. She was wearing a white, oversized shirt and her hair was in a messy bun. She looked tired but happy. She was giving him ‘thumbs up’ in the photo and through the window, he could see the Sidra. They were indeed in the same city. It made him both happy and nervous.

Elain Sweaty but happy to be heading home :)

Azriel received that last message when he walked through the door to his apartment. What the hell was he supposed to answer?

But then he thought back to Nesta’s words.

You would probably be cute together.

So he took a deep breath and gathered all his courage.

Azriel You still look beautiful though

He stared at his phone. Would she answer? Would she block him? Would she tell him to stop being a creep?

Elain Thank you :) What do you look like? I might have forgotten ;)

Okay. That was flirty. Even Azriel could tell that that was a flirty text message, and he was usually oblivious to such things. He quickly walked to his bathroom (it was the room with the best lighting). He checked his shirt (no stains) and mussed with his hair.

“Good enough,” he muttered, and snapped a selfie.

Before he could chicken out, he sent it to her.

Within seconds, he received a reply.

Elain Beautiful!

[dwindledglow]

001. MEET FRANCESCO

FULL NAME: francesco mirkó mancini. PREFERRED NAME: francesco. NICKNAME/S: kekko, ciccio, franci, franco, mir. DATE OF BIRTH: february 28th, 2000. GENDER & PRONOUNS: cis male & he/his. ORIENTATION: hetero. RELIGION: non-practising christian. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: in a relationship with lillian atkinson. OCCUPATION: racing driver, currently racing for prema powerteam in fia’s f3 championship. RESIDENCE: in between modena, italy and flatiron district, new york city.

002. CHECK FRANCESCO’S BACKGROUND

HOMETOWN: verona, italy. NATIONALITY: italian. ETHNIC BACKGROUND: italian. LINGUISTICS: italian which is his native language and english, french, portuguese and spanish in a fluent level. EDUCATION: he has graduated from high-school and completed the first year of double major in chemical and mechanical engineering while taking on pre-law classes at columbia university. CRIMINAL RECORD: clean. BIRTH ORDER: fifth. FATHER: alessandro mancini, born on august 10th, 1965 in firenze, italy, currently residing in milan, italy. he’s a former professional racing driver who competed in formula 1 who now owns a management company alongside his wife.  MOTHER: gisella sofia micucci, born on march 22nd, 1967 in milan, italy where she still resides. she’s a former mechanical engineer for ferrari who now owns a management company alongside her husband. SISTER/S: miuccia sofia mancini, born on july 12th, 1995 in modena, italy, currently residing in montecarlo, monaco and working as a test driver for formula-e after having won the british gt4 championship. bianca giulia mancini, born on january 3rd, 2009 in milan, italy where she still resides and studies, while competing in the super one series. franca maria mancini, born on october 4th, 2012 in milan, italy where she still resides and studies, while doing karting. BROTHER/S: alessi andrea mancini, born on september 30th, 1992 in modena, italy, currently residing in mooresville, north carolina and working as a professional racing driver for nascar. gian luca mancini, born on december 18th, 1993 in modena, italy, currently residing in mooresville, north carolina and working as a professional racing driver for nascar. leone alessandro mancini, born on may 14th, 1999 in verona, italy, currently residing in lugano, switzerland and working as a professional motorcycle rider who competes in moto2 championship. SIGNIFICANT OTHER: lillian atkinson. CHILDREN: none so far. OTHER RELEVANT FAMILY: andrea luca mancini, uncle.  EX/ES: giulianna ricci. PETS: kyio, a chihuahua and mochi, a merle french bulldog.

003. GET UP CLOSE & PERSONAL

HEIGHT: 6′0″ or 183 cm. WEIGHT: between 165 lbs or 75 kg and 168 lbs or 76 kg. BODY BUILD: if such thing was an acceptable description, most would say francesco is an exercise-junkie. he loves working out and trying out all kinds of exercise and different sports which, of course, gives place to pretty solid results. he’s naturally slender and thanks to his healthy routines, he has a rather athletic physique. his overall body is toned, particularly his legs and neck, and you can tell he spends a few good hours in the gym by the muscular arms and the six-pack. EYE COLOR: hazel-brown. EYESIGHT: his eyesight is perfect, he doesn’t need glasses or contacts. HAIR COLOR & STYLE: francesco doesn’t bother much with his hair. he has what could be considered a fade cut, shorter on the sides, longer on the top which isn’t a particularly high-maintenance hairstyle.  DOMINANT HAND: right. NOTABLE PHYSICAL TRAITS: his chiseled features are perhaps the most notable of his physical traits and the one people pick up on the quickest. alongside, his overall body build that does stand out. other than that, there’s nothing too particular. SCARS AND MARKS: there’s nothing particularly major or outstanding. he has scars and little marks as everyone which are courtesy of every day life. TATTOOS: none so far. PIERCINGS: none so far. VOICECLAIM: tony arbolino. ACCENT & INTENSITY: francesco has been living in the states for, at least, four to five years now but the italian essence has never for once left his being. even though he’s fluent in english and will get around the language with ease, you can tell he’s italian. the northern italy accent peeks through every word, shines through even in the way he enunciates himself and when he switches to his mother language, the intensity just grows within seconds. ALLERGIES: tree pollen, cow’s milk and mould. PHOBIAS & FEARS: not evolving, being stuck in the same place without the opportunity to grow and do more. MENTAL & PHYSICAL ILLNESSES: none so far. ALCOHOL USE: socially. SMOKING: no. NARCOTICS USE: he smokes weed when faced with situations of high stress, but otherwise he stays away from other drugs. INDULGENT FOOD: sometimes, he likes to have a clean diet but he won’t say no to some comfort, soul food from time to time. SPLURGE SPENDING: it’s rare. francesco is very conscious of how he spends his money, actually. GAMBLING: no, never.

004. DIG DEEPER

CAN THEY DRIVE? yes, he can drive. CAN THEY COOK & BAKE? yes and badly. CAN THEY CHANGE A FLAT TIRE? yes. CAN THEY TIE A TIE? yes. CAN THEY SWIM? yes. CAN THEY RIDE A BICYCLE? yes. CAN THEY JUMP START A CAR? yes. CAN THEY BRAID HAIR? no. CAN THEY PICK A LOCK? yes. EXTROVERTED OR INTROVERTED? extroverted. DISORGANIZED OR ORGANIZED? organized. CLOSE OR OPEN MINDED? open minded. CALM OR ANXIOUS? a healthy in-between. PATIENT OR IMPATIENT? impatient. OUTSPOKEN OR RESERVED? outspoken. LEADER OR FOLLOWER? leader. OPTIMISTIC OR PESSIMISTIC? leaning more on the pessimistic side. TRADITIONAL OR MODERN? modern. HARD-WORKING OR LAZY? hard-working. CULTURED OR UNCULTURED? cultured. LOYAL OR DISLOYAL? loyal. FAITHFUL OR UNFAITHFUL? faithful. NIGHT OWL OR EARLY BIRD? night owl. HEAVY OR LIGHT SLEEPER? heavy sleeper. COFFEE OR TEA? coffee. DAY OR NIGHT? night. TAKING BATHS OR SHOWERS? showers. COCA COLA OR PEPSI? coca-cola. CATS OR DOGS? dogs. NETFLIX OR CINEMA? cinema. SHOWS OR MOVIES? movies. LAPTOP OR GAMING CONSOLE? gaming console. HEALTHY OR JUNK FOOD? healthy food. ICE CREAM OR FROZEN YOGURT? ice cream. PIZZA OR HAMBURGER? pizza. LOLLIPOPS OR GUMMY WORMS? gummy worms. BEACH OR POOL? beach. SNOWBALLS FIGHTING OR ICESKATING? iceskating. LITERATURE OR SCIENCE? science. HISTORY OR ART? art. CHOCOLATE BARS OR COTTON CANDY? neither. XBOX OR PLAYSTATION? playstation. FACE-TO-FACE OR PHONE INTERACTIONS? face-to-face interactions. DRAMA OR SCI-FI? both. HORROR OR COMEDY? both.

005. FRANCESCO’S FAVORITES

FAVORITE ACTIVITY: training. FAVORITE ANIMAL: lion. FAVORITE BOOK: outliers - the story of success by malcolm gladwell. FAVORITE COLOR/S: red. FAVORITE CUISINE: italian, though he enjoys trying different things. FAVORITE DISH/ES: gnocchi, ravioli, risotto alla milanese, bruschetta and a long list of mostly italian food. FAVORITE DRINK/S: mocaccino and plain, iced water. FAVORITE FLOWER/S: white lily. FAVORITE GEM: ruby. FAVORITE MOVIE: three billboards outside ebbing, missouri by martin mcdonagh.  FAVORITE SONG: just like you by emotional oranges. FAVORITE SCENT/S: ginger, melted chocolate, the scent of fresh bread, passionfruit. FAVORITE SHOW/S: he’s not really one to sit and watch tv shows, he mostly has no patience to wait weeks or months on end for episodes and new seasons but three shows that caught his attention and he’s been keeping up with: watchmen, black mirror and the handmaid’s tale. FAVORITE SPORT/S & TEAM THEY SUPPORT: formula1, motogp, soccer, he supports inter milano, and basketball. FAVORITE SEASON OF THE YEAR: winter. VACATION DESTINATION: somewhere in indonesia, maybe bali.

[purplerose244]

MY THOUGHTS ON EPISODE 98!!!

SPOILERS ALERT!!!

And adding this to the pilot episodes, which are four in two episodes, we finally reached 100 episodes of Ninjagooooo!!! 🎊🎊🎊 YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 🎉🎉🎉

I can't believe we really achieved this, like, I remember getting interested because of that elevator gag with Jay in season 1, now look at this!!! 😍😍 I love this show, I love how much I have grown during it, and I can't wait to see what the future has in store for it!

And after getting all hyped with this, let's get to the episode! 😎

I wanna start by saying that, back when I watched it, I really liked Day of the Departed, but I would've LOVED IT if it was a season. Like, it's clear that a lot could've been done, and it came out really freaking cool but not mindblowing (and I kinda expect that from my favorite show, not sorry 😙)

My opinion on March of the Oni is similar, I definitely enjoyed more than DotD because it was basically a season of four episodes, it's just that some parts went by a little fast.

But you're asking if I liked it, right?

OF COURSE I DID! ❤❤

And let me tell, with the amount of parts coming from pilots and first season, I can die happily 😆 That's what I love about Ninjago, even when I think it's not perfect, there are still moments that I fall in love with immediately!

LET'S GO THEN!

For the start, Faith's story. I'm so sorry for the poor dragon hunters, can't even have the time to fully redeem themselves that darkness arises 😅

To be honest, when the ninja arrived and Wu was smiling at them like waiting for good news, I was too worried for Cole and was grieving like all of the ninja 😢 Then it reminded me of that one scene in Kung fu Panda with Shifu being all "ah yeah, I really need good news" with his messanger and it turns out it's fricking Tai Lung coming for him 😂😂

But yeah, that was heavy. And Garmy was still merciless with his brother, as much as with his wife (weird that I kinda enjoyed that part? He never went all bad against her, not even as Lord Garmadon. He is full beast now)

And oh man. WU'S REACTION.

One of his first pupil, the first leader of the team; not only that, Cole was always there when Wu turned into a baby and grew up, he basically became a second father for him in a weird but cute way. Can you imagine the grief? It would be really sad if he got to remember him being to affectionate with his infant version, singing for him 😭😭 (woa, fanfiction idea!)

Well played, I must say, Ninjago crew. I'm already on feels mode 👏 But don't think you can fool me again writers, I'm not that easy to impress for y-

*throw away the pizza she had for dinner* NO PRIMARY NEEDS WILL COME BEFORE THIS, KAI FREAKING SMITH IS BACK OMG YAS YAS YAAAAAASSSS!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥❤❤❤

... I screamed at that part. A LOT.

It's been AGES! He wore it two pilot episodes, period, he looks so young 😍 From this point of few I appreciate that he changed design, it's like he really grew up from before. And he looked so worried, or disappointed? Maybe because he gave up on being blacksmith a long time ago for doing something he's actually good at, and going back again it's like saying he didn't improve at all...

... or maybe I just overthink Kai all day all night

MY FLAME BABE 😍

Well, forge happens, no Ray and Maya but it was kinda hopeless anyway 😅 I really want them to come back, come on Tommy!

And bam, golden weapons. BAM 👊

They made me feel way more excited than I thought, I really squeaked all over while they were fighting! ☺ Back then there was nothing more important and powerful, and now they are back. But I think the golden power in them is weak? I guess they forged in a different way the first time, or maybe they need to be charged by golden power user. I don't know but good job anyway, my hot blacksmith 😚

Meanwhile, in another dark place...

I screamed again 😅

I was just super happy to see Cole fully alive and not frozen and stuff. I thought it had a deeper meaning him moving, but then I guess he woke up in time? And wasn't in the middle of the toxic darkness, thank lord 😵😵

Or maybe they'll explain it better next season and it's important? You never know

Kirby did his best at talking to himself 😂 Rocky you gotta stop loving your best bud that much, you were panicking just like him 💙 Also the part when he was so close to despair, man if I wanted nothing more but broke my phone screen and give him a hug 😢

Luckily, cuteness came to my rescue

"WE THOUGHT WE LOST YOU, YOU... YOU... YOU JERK!!"

My bruise heart is beating faster? My bruise heart is beating faster 🖤💙🖤💙 Sorry, can't help it, moving on!

I missed some full team fighting action! I wanted more, especially with the new golden weapons and how amazing the landscape look now near the monastery ☺ But it was cool, and I love Nya and Lloyd fighting back to back since they don't have golden weapons! Also Wu is getting so active in season 9 and 10 😊 And Faith is a queen 🖤

While we're at it, my idea is that Garmadon's doubts about his evilness are meaningful, but not for now. I like that they didn't push him into full redemption, it would've been too early. He clearly wants to know more about himself and his family. I think that the next adventure will be important for him, even if I still don't know how, maybe a full life-changing field trip (if so, my warlord, I have a half burnt prince from the Fire Nation to recommend 🔥)

... I did enough serious stuff for him, right? Well then...

... OKAY I CAN'T 😂😂😂😂

Like, I get the point and everything about him being almost full oni and stuff, but I can't look at his face 😂 I think it's the only part I really don't think it fits, the rest is pretty cool. I like the staff, looks all sorcery. They even used the design of the oni masks, nice touch.

... still, the face is weird, happy it didn't last 😙

Back to the monastery, everyone's scared, it might be the end, I actually liked the situation very much for the yang proposal. Jay stopped overthinking and went for it, it's hard for someone like him 😂

And of course Nya was ecstatic, and when our goddess is happy I am 💙💙💙

THEY HAVE THE MEDALIONS ON THEIR CHEST IT'S SUCH A CUTE AND ROMANTIC SYMBOL!!! 😍😍😍

I'm a sucker for romance, I'm sorry 😅

I'm also a sucker for references from past seasons, so...

*inhale*

THE FREAKING TORNADO OF CREATION!!!! FINALLY, AFTER THE FERRISWHEEL IN THE UNDERGROUND, THE ULTRA SONIC RAIDER AND ALL THE GAMES THAT HAD IT FEATURED, IT'S BAAAAACK!!!! THANK YOU NINJAGO FOR THIS GLORIOUS DAY!!! NINJAAAAAAAA-GOOOOOOOO!!!

*exhale*

They played it as they didn't use it again because it was kinda a miracle... I guess I can buy that, even if the Hagemans explained that they didn't expect Ninjago to continue and put the ultimate power immediately in the pilots... regretting it 😅 So I'm not hard on the writers in general, I'm happy to see this old friend back 💛

They all used spinjitzu, and the new design is so good, I was so happy!!! 🤩🤩🤩 Well I was, but then... boy... 😳

Now... let me tell you... how FREAKING nervewrecking... the last minutes of the episode... have been for me

First of all, the transition in black and soundless was so sudden that it got me thinking "okay this is new, got a weird feeling about it". Lloyd wakes up into such a heavenly beautiful place with a paradisiac great view. And I was already on what the frisk mode, because the others are gone and there's a beautiful golden dragon right there. And I freaking love those (I WANT ONE), so I got distracted.

Then a voice. Good Garmadon? I guess it could be, but why now and here? The heck?

Then of course I recognized him...

Because he still gives his back to the camera 😂 Also he freaking called him Lloyd MONTGOMERY Garmadon, I can't even 👏👏 This compensate the fact that I kinda wanted green bean to just go and call him granpa 😘

And while I thought it was super cool and over the top and reminded me again of Kung fu Panda, the third movie this time, I was still thinking from time to time:

"This looks like afterlife."

"The first Spinjitzu Master is gone."

"This can't be happening."

"This can't... can't..."

And after making sure to remind us that yes, first Spinjitzu Master-san is indeed Wu's dad, with his wise words because...

... he said that. THAT. Come back to your friends, or come with me. Go back being the green ninja, or reach the light once and for all. And darn it. I could feel my heart pulsing in my head. It ached when Lloyd extended his hand, and suddenly everything went white.

Back to the monastery. Guys are fine, Jaya is still beatiful and my poor sweetie flame got under a colomn thanks Cole I bet lavashippers appreciated

Then the worry. All of then running to him, checking, my flame so scared, "come on buddy, wake up". Wu following, he's the only hope, he can manage...

He can... can...

"There is nothing to be done."

I sobbed. Like, I didn't even dare to look at the time, I was too scared. I just didn't want it to be real.

Gotta say, when it comes to grieving, Ninjago makes me feel the most. Jay stuttering, asking Wu to help him. Nya sobbing calling his name. Kai slowly shaking his head, so desperate, like it wasn't enough they lost Cole even if not for long, and then going to comfort Wu because Garmy is not his brother right now and he's not showing emotion at all (although he was backing off, I wonder if he was trying to keep the distance from such a strong scene)

... and then Lloyd came back

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! 💚💚💚💚💚

I CRIED FOR HAPPINESS, THE TOUGHEST SECONDS OF MY LIFE!!! MY GREEN BEAN, MY SUNSHINE BOY, MY SWEET ANGEL IS HERE AND HERE TO STAY!!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Also Kai and Cole hugging, it was really sweet 🖤❤🖤❤

Oh man, OH MAN 😵

They put everything into that last fragment, now did they? Very nice, loved every part of it and it's really cool how we now kinda know what could be waiting on the afterlife 🤩 I wonder if there is more of that world...

This is why I said I wanted a longer special/season, we had two beautiful moments of pure sadness, really impactful and intense, that could've been even stronger if we had more time to struggle. But you know what? I died inside twice, came back to life twice as well, and nobody died!! 😊 ... except the oni I guess. I think... they died, didn't they?

Well whatever, going for the end!

Okay can I call upon myself the frame meme of Gravity Falls without actually showing it? I can't put more pictures 😅

"Oh, this."

"This is beautiful."

It's both extremely funny for the claw lego thingy, and meaningful. Only they could do that. Only those that really follow Ninjago could recognize this. I just like it a lot, the Tornado of Creation in its on way ❤💚💙🖤💦💎

(give me white and gray hearts emoji you COWARDS)

And of course, reunion for the finale

Sky you have no idea how happy I am to see you, girl I missed you a lot 😘 Also dat wink, Kai you might be the next to the yang proposal 😙 Cyrus is okay, I'm happy, and random Ronin because why not? He has better things to do than being caught up with all this drama 🤣

AND THE POSTMAN IS THERE 😎 Of course, our greatest ruler appear! 💪💪💪

While at the end that little moment between Wu and Garmy, I wonder what's waiting for the two sons of mister too shy for facing the camera 😜

And of course our Ninjago alphabet, THE END, with mama dragon who seems to be okay, good 😊 Pretty cool

Well guys, this is it. I enjoyed, no matter how it could've gone as a full season or other formats, it's refreshing knowing that they still remember stuff from the very beginning (MONTGOMERY 🤣🤣🤣). I think we had a good ending for a good beginning to a new fragment of Ninjago, involving what, I have no idea 😅 Also I really appreciate what they did with my Kai, the hotheaded, cocky but selfless warrior that I love so much. Thanks a lot ❤❤

Guess we'll find out sooner or later what's in store for this show, for now I'm done! Thank you guys a lot for all the notes in the last post, you guys are amazing! 😁

Nothing else to say, see ya around! 💜

[yukihime916]

Roleplay starter with @untilmiyukisdawn (A/N-pic is when she's looking at his display)

She was running, running as fast as she could down a dimly lit corridor, the stone under her bare feet hurt but she had to keep going. She had to warn him. Warn him? Warn who? She couldn’t remember but she knew she had to keep running, to him. She cried out a name, a name she did not hear with her own ears, but received no reply. She called out again, but heard nothing but her jagged breaths as she ran. Finally she reached the chamber that she intended and flung the door open without announcing herself. Whomever she had expected to see in that chamber was not who she found, in fact she wasn’t even sure it was human. A black mass, almost that of a shadow man, stood from the bed in the room and approached her. She turned to run, to scream, but she was frozen where she stood as he was suddenly there, wrapping an arm about her shoulders and pinning her to him. “I warned you to stay away from baby brother. You could have had me. Too bad.” The next thing she could see was the blade of a dagger shining in the moonlight, and then plunging for her abdomen…

Jolting upright in her bed she released what sounded like a gasp and a muffled scream. Panic, sheer panic had over taken her and she knew she needed to get control. Breathe. Breathe. Get a grip and breathe. She repeated it like a mantra as she heavily inhaled and exhaled to regain her composure. After a moment she suddenly had something settle upon her hand, a paw. She looked down to her side and saw her beautiful Great Pyrenees there, worry showing in those brown eyes. “I’m okay Yuki, it was just a dream,” she told her. Yuki, as if she didn’t believe her, nudged her hand with her paw again. “Yuki, I promise I’m fine. Thank you for bringing me back.” She leaned to the side and kissed the big dog right between the eyes to assure her she was okay now. “Watch out, mama’s gotta wash her face, she’s all sweaty.” With that Yuki moved out of the way and she made her way into the adjacent bathroom.

Once inside, Akasha Einzbern, turned on the sink water as cold as possible and then washed her face to cool herself down; she’d take a shower after she walked Yuki. When she was successfully cooled down she patted her face dry with a hand towel and then dared to look at herself in the mirror. Exhaustion was evident that was for sure, but then her icy blue eyes traveled down to her stomach. For a moment she hesitated, but then lifted her black tank top; she had to be sure. Normal. Not a wound in sight. Sighing she lowered her shirt and then rested her hands on the counter and leaned forward slightly.

Always the same dream, or rather, nightmare. Over the years it had been the same each time. Running, panic, a man in the shadows, and pain. The man had never been clear enough to make out any features, he had just always been a figure of shadows. Often she wondered if she would ever see his face, but what did it matter since he always harmed her. Even though each time she woke she was perfectly fine, with no stab wound, she would always check, almost like it was a compulsion.

“Get it together Kash. It’s just a stupid dream. It doesn’t mean anything. Get over it.” She gave herself the smallest of slaps with both hands and then left the bathroom to start the day; she was never able to go back to sleep after that dream.

It was just after 8:00 am on Saturday morning. She didn’t move fast around her apartment for she had the weekends free from work. She put on a pot of coffee, not a full pot since she lived alone, and while it was brewing she walked Yuki around the complex.

She didn’t eat breakfast, she considered coffee always to be her breakfast. After situating herself on the couch, with Yuki at her side and head in her lap, she scrolled through her Facebook feed on her smart phone. She looked at nothing in particular, just idle scrolling while she drank the heavenly nectar of Joe. When she got bored of scrolling she decided to browse Netflix. Deciding it was a Dinosaur documentary type of day she moved into a more comfortable position with Yuki and started episode one.

About an hour into her rampaging Dinosaurs, her phone rang. Checking the caller ID the name read “Scary Larry” a nickname she had given her best friend growing up because they used to sneak into abandoned haunted houses and snoop around together. “Hey Larry what’s up?” she asked her best friend.

“Hey Kash, I have Nicky this weekend and I’m taking him and a couple of his friends up to the museum for a tour. You wanna come? You have yet to see it you know.”

Yeah she knew. But their schedules never actually allowed it and it wasn’t often that Larry was awake during the day since he worked nights at the museum. Larry and Akasha were very close in age and grew up together, she was even named God mother to his son Nick. They were friends, always, nothing more. He even had a place on her couch for a few months after his divorce from his wife. When he got the job at the museum she saw him and Nicky less and less, so yeah she would go hang out any chance she got. “I’m down. What time?”

“I was thinking we meet at Tony’s Pizza at noon for some lunch, you know kids always want pizza.” At this they both laughed. “Then we’ll head over to the museum.”

“Sounds great Larry, I’ll be there. Have fun.” They hung up and she went back to her Dinosaur documentary until it was time again to walk Yuki and get ready. “Be good and keep the place safe baby girl. Love you.” She kissed Yuki between the eyes and left her apartment.

It was the middle of fall in New York so she dressed accordingly. Black slacks, an elegant grey blouse and over it she wore a tan jacket that zipped up in the front. Her make up was easy, eye liner, mascara and light shadow to bring out her eyes; she wasn’t a model so she always kept it simple.

When she turned the corner that led to the pizza shop, they saw her before she saw them. “Auntie Kasha!” little Nick shouted happily as he ran towards her and hugged her tight around the waist.

“Hey Nicky. It’s so good to see you!” she said with a smile, returning his hug. She looked up to see Larry approaching them with a little smile of his own.

“Hey kids, here’s a few bucks. Why don’t you go play in the pizza arcade for a bit?” Larry suggested placing some bills in Nick’s hand. The boys cheered and quickly left to play some games. “I got a table over here on the patio for us.” He knew Akasha preferred to be outside when it was cold. They sat down at a table where they already had two slices and a soda. “How are you doing?” Larry asked in concern. Akasha was about to take a bite, but stopped and let out a heavy sigh.

“Larry I’m fine. Please don’t do this here,” she pleaded with him softly.

“It was a nasty break up Kash. Police were involved. He came at you with a gun. It’s okay to not be okay.”

“And now he’s in Sing Sing. He’s locked up and I’m not. I’m fine Larry. Please let this go.” She looked at him with such a fierceness in her eyes that he had no choice but to let it go, for the time being anyway.

“I’m just worried about you Kash.”

“I know. Thank you. But really, I’m fine.” And with that the topic was dropped and they moved on to another.

After lunch Larry lead them to the Museum of Natural History to give them a tour. Akasha’s eyes were instantly drawn towards the skeleton of the Tyrannosaurus Rex. As far back as she could remember it was her favorite Dinosaur and she was highly impressed by this one. “That’s Rexy. A very playful tyke,” Larry told the group.

“Playful? The T-Rex would eat you whole!” one of the boys in the group said. Larry waved him off.

“Nah he’s harmless. Let’s move on.”

And the tour really began. He showed them around the Neanderthal exhibit, the miniature civilizations, the Aquarium, the African jungle. When they were about to enter the reptile exhibit Akasha took a step back. “You guys go on, no way am I going in there.” Larry laughed.

“You know they are just wax figures right?” Akasha crossed her arms.

“I don’t care. A snake is a snake. Wax or not.” Larry rolled his eyes and led the kids on. Now that she was by herself she made her way back to Africa to admire the lions more. Just as she reached the room she felt an odd sensation come over her, almost a sort of pull. As strange as it sounded, something was pulling her in another direction. She couldn’t say why, but she followed it. She came upon a dimly lit room and without hesitation entered it. The first thing she noticed were two giant black and gold jackal statues. Her hand came up to her heart and she bowed towards them as a sign of respect; she didn’t know why she did this, but she was compelled to. Akasha walked passed the jackal soldiers and up to a beautiful sarcophagus lying in a glass case. She felt like she was no longer in control of her body as her hand reached out and gently touched the gold coffin. A wave of sorrow over came her and she didn’t notice the tear that escaped her eye until she felt it on her cheek. “What the?” she gasped quickly wiping it away. “Probably just got dust in my eye,” she said wiping away another tear that formed.

Akasha stepped away from the sarcophagus and turned to her right. There stood a figure of an Egyptian Pharaoh and when she met his eyes, her heart stopped and her body froze. He felt somehow…familiar. There was that pull again, but it was more than a pull, she needed to he close to him, to touch him. When she was just a foot before him, she reached a hand out and was so close to touching his cheek…

“I wouldn’t touch the exhibits Kash,” Larry said suddenly and Akasha jumped back, her heart racing like crazy. Whatever spell like trance had overcome her, was gone now.

“Jear Desus Larry don’t do that!” Akasha said playfully hitting his arm with her fists. After she composed herself, Larry looked back to the statue of the Pharaoh.

“So, taken a liking to Ahkmenrah huh?” Akasha put her hands in her jacket pockets and sighed.

“Sure I guess. His name is Ahkmenrah? I feel like I’ve heard that name before,” she said softly, but Larry still heard it.

“Probably in history books or one of those documentaries you watch.” Akasha smirked.

“Yeah probably.” But Akasha didn’t believe that herself. She knew the name but couldn’t say how.

Larry noticed she was still staring at Ahkmenrah and wiggled his eye brows. “You know, I could set you guys up if you’d like.”

Akasha elbowed him in the side. “Oh yeah sure. An Egyptian Pharaoh wouldn’t have any interest in me. He probably had many concubines back in the day.”

“You know I’ve never asked him about his love life,” Larry said rubbing his chin. Akasha raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t tell me it’s so lonely here at night you started talking to the exhibits like they’re real? You’re not turning 7:30 on me are?”

“Hey I can’t have it being boring around here at night. Come on, there’s more to see,” Larry said leading her out of the Pharaoh’s Tomb.

“Actually I should get home to Yuki,” Akasha suddenly said adjusting her purse on her shoulder.

“Alright. Text me if you need me okay?”

“I will. Thanks. I had fun. Hug Nicky for me.” With that they hugged each other and Akasha left the museum.

[pheonixwright]

Merry Christmas, Jen

The ring of your phone was blaring. Your mind tuning it out to try to catch up on some much-needed sleep. The sound relentless as it started up again, to spite you it would seem. Arm shooting out from the covers and your hand searching for the evil that was your phone. Finding it you brought it to your face before answering.

“Hello?” . Happy energy coming from the other end made you sink further into the sheets. How can one be that happy end energetic this early? No one can be too sure. Younghyun’s words being missed as your mind tries to process all that’s being said in the process of waking up. It got louder and louder with “Did you fall back asleep?”. Blinking you realize, you are in fact awake. “Why did you have to call so early, Younghyun?” His laugh on the other end waking you up completely as you roll over onto your back realizing you were not going to be able to go back to sleep now. His words catching you by surprise “I’ll pick you up in half an hour, did you finish packing yet” Of course you had, it was why you wanted that sleep but you didn’t have the heart to tell him that. “Yes. But I still need to shower and get dressed so I-” “That’s alright I have a key. I’ll just load the car and wait. It’s not the first time we’ve done this you know.” “Yeah yeah. Just…I’ll see you soon”

Your phone was thrown haphazardly over your shoulder onto your bed as you trudged towards a shower to wake you up. How you had been convinced to actually take spring break as a reason to completely getaway to relax with him and just spend time with him you couldn’t be sure. Of course, you had missed him, but this time you could have been used to catch up on lesson plans and now you have been convinced to not even bring up a single class let alone bring anything school wise with you. Yet somehow he can make you lose your reluctance and trust him enough to relax. With your thoughts changing from one thing to another the water started to run cold. Spending more time in there than you had originally intended you emerge from the bathroom to change. With the water no longer running you are able to hear the low murmur of the t.v from your room. Not too inclined to rush as he must have known you’d need time to finish drying off and getting dressed you finally walk into the living room.

Glancing at the microwave you realize he must have been waiting nearly an hour. His attention now on you his feet fall from the coffee table. Standing and walking to you his enthusiasm from earlier returned. His arms around your waist he pulled you into a hug before heading towards your bedroom to grab your suitcase for you.“Let’s head out we’ve already lost precious best friend week-long slumber party time”.Is that really what he had to call this? Surely there is a better name. Nevertheless, you could not really be looking forward to anything more than this week with him. Now that he is in front of you, you realize just how much you had actually missed him. Even if he’s being weird..well, even though he IS weird.

Despite the energy he had had when you had left your place, it was very quiet on the ride back to his. With the nice comfy blanket and pillow on the couch, you realized that he had intended to start the week with some binging. Though he tended to prefer movies to shows. “You can see the story progress better when there isn’t breaks for new episodes” he would say.  Even if he was stubborn you could say you did agree. But how he could convince you to binge The Hobbit and then the Lord of the Rings is something you could never know. Younghyun heading towards his bedroom he set your suitcase next to the dresser before changing into something more comfortable before grabbing some snacks. Though it all seemed to be on the sweet side. A new popcorn bowl placed on the table caught your attention.

“Younghyun…excatly how many bags of popcorn is this….?” Your hand sneaking to the bowl to plop a few pieces in your mouth, Settling onto the couch and pulling the blanket over your lap. Eyebrow raised you glance at Younghyun. His eyes widening as he realized he hadn’t answered. His cheeks full of m&ms he raises a finger before finishing swallowing. “5”. You really should have known.  Sighing you lean back into the couch lifting the side of the blanket for him to slip under next to you. His arm around your back he turns on the first of The Hobbit movies before falling quiet. Even if him being quiet was not the Younghyun you were expecting there was definitely a sense of comfort. No matter what you guys were doing there was definitely a calming wave and way to feel relaxed with him. He could bring out something positive in anything. With the first movie ending and an easy meal of pizza rolls in the microwave you finally got the savory, you were craving as Younghyun started The Desolation of Smaug. With the quiet in addition to the warmth of the blanket and Younghyun, you drifted off into sleep.

Your mind playing what couldn’t be described as a dream. No, it was more a flashing film reel of your favorite memories. Younghyun’s face coming into focus, the surroundings letting you see it was your birthday two years back. The chocolate box is placed on your lap, and you place to lid onto the coffee table. Younghyun giving you a box of messily written letters. Some were little ideas he initially had before he had completed some songs. Some things he thought of saying to you but opted not to text due to the time differences. Oh, the chocolate boxes. The running gag since you made him watch Forrest Gump when you were the one to chose the movie. Him calling you Jennie whenever he wanted attention in that same tone. Though it is fair. Since you decided to call him Kanga. Making his icon the Winnie the Pooh character. The scene changing yet again and it now is the time he called for help picking an outfit to wear to one of the boys birthdays. The scene jumps again to a new scene. This one only a few months ago. To the time he had skyped you when you hadn’t been able to see him for his birthday. You guys just listening to music in the background as you just enjoyed each other’s faces and voices. Though there really was nothing like the real thing. His smell being the one thing that was so good about seeing him. His smell? Since when did you think of his smell?

Rolling onto your side you sunk deeper into the bed. It was as if just thinking of it made the smell appear. Your mind drifting into nothing as you fall into a deeper sleep for a short while, before a sound awakes you. The clanking of pots into the sink lets you know he is awake. But you aren’t awake enough. Limbs too heavy to lift. Hand lifting to rub your eyes you see something moves. He had grabbed it. You hadn’t even seen him sneak your dog out of your room. Yet he had still remembered to. Hands reaching out to grab it you start to think of just how important he really was to you. Maybe the much-needed sleep was gotten because he had made you relax. Or perhaps it was because he had been sleeping next to you and you felt comfortable that way. Finally opting to get up you made your way into his kitchen before seeing something even sweeter.

Turning around from the now clean dishes he picked you up into a hug. “Go to the couch I am about to start some cocoa”. He didn’t need to ask you twice. With the low hum of music through the speakers, you watch him. Mind still racing of the dreams you had last night. Does he know I dreamt about him? Does he know how cute he looks over the stove like this? Does he know how amazing he is? Your thoughts were interrupted by the smell in front of your nose. The sight of cocoa with extra marshmallows, wow, he really does pay attention. “I still can’t believe you prefer this to coffee.” “It’s only your coffee I don’t like” Fake hurt and exaggerated response follow. “You know its just the fact I have a sweet tooth. I love your coffee when I actually need coffee”. With a smile, he takes your mugs to the kitchen. Coming back and settling beside you again he lets you chose to next song and just starts taking turns to pick the random songs over the speakers before he hears the timer.

His fast pace to the kitchen he opens the oven a familiar smell wafts through the air and your feet start to move on their own. Socks alone the cold floor and your chest flush against his back you see something you weren’t expecting at all. Lasagna. He had made you a lasagna. The same Younghyun who thinks eggos and thawing frozen blueberries counts as cooking breakfast made a lasagna. And if the smell is what you think it was, it was your dad’s lasagna. When did he even have time to plan this? With the lasagna being placed on the Winnie the Pooh hot pads you forgot you had even gotten him. Your eyes too focused on the lasagna you didn’t notice his movements, but the sound of the oven door closing again brought you out of your own mind. Younghyun leaning back against the counter eyes fixed on you, not sure how you are feeling. The awkward silence is broken with his words. “I just started to garlic bread. We will be eating within about 20 minutes. Hope you are hungry”

Well even if you weren’t before you certainly would be now. But you still didn’t know he would have gone through this amount of effort to make you relax. Sure, you had been sad you wouldn’t have been able to go home and see your family. And sure you had mentioned needing a good homecooked meal, but how were you supposed to know he’d jump to make you your favorite? Also, your dad actually gave him the recipe so he kept it quiet too. Cabinet door opening and Younghyun setting the table you realized just how you really needed to tell him. But how you could not be too sure. “Hey, Younghyun I dreamt about you last night!” Yeah no. That is so not the way to do it. “Hey, you are perfect wife material” Yeah, that too is a hard pass. With the table being set, and the lasagna being moved, and Younghyun taking the garlic bread from the oven you knew it had to be soon. Just how can you not when he’s done this just because you missed home?

With him pulling out your seat for you, you had to wonder if he knew what you had planned to say. Oh no. Maybe you talk in your sleep. A hand waving in front of your face you come out of your thoughts for what feels like the 12th time today. “Middle. corner or edge piece?” “Corner please” Okay, salad, garlic bread, and lasagna. He really went all out. Taking a good look at the lasagna you realize he put all the cheese in a single layer. But the cute look on his face you knew he was nervous. WAIT. CUTE? SINCE WHEN HAS HE BEEN CUTE. Realizing he was waiting for you to speak you said what you had thought since he initially took it out of the oven. “It smells amazing. I..thank you so much for this you didn’t have to.” Visibly relaxing he served himself before settling into his chair. Finally taking a bite you realize he actually did amazing. Smiling to yourself you catch a look at him. Cheeks puffy and full of food. Wow okay. There really is no denying it. You definitely do have feelings for him. Feeling your gaze, he looks up to you raising an eyebrow. “I’m happy to see you relax and eat too. Those cheeks are too cute to lose”. Taking a big chug of water, not wanting to say anything else, Younghyun seems to take the opportunity to make it even harder. “I think you just like me.” I do. His eyes widening you realize you had done what you definitely didn’t want to. Just blurt it out. “You aren’t messing with me right?” Not trusting yourself to speak you shake your head. The smile on his face really is indescribable. So big and warm. Yet so soft. “I can’t believe it worked. Your dad was right. I need to go call him”  “ Wait, WHAT?” “Your dad said that this would make you happy, and it’d be a good way for me to show my feelings, but it still worked.” “My own dad conspired against me” mumbling under your breath, Younghyun kisses your cheek before running to get his phone. Happy that he truly did get what he wanted most, you.

@dawnpil

[rustandruin]

can’t buy me love (but you sure can show it)

AO3

Home isn’t the four walls you stay in, day in and day out. It’s a place where you feel free to be yourself, and are cared for.

Or, Robert, Aaron, Liv, and Gerry’s lives together observed through a series of vignettes about the random purchases they make for each other. 

Day 1: Home/Domesticity

“He doesn’t even like yoghurt.” — Ancient Dingle Proverb

:::::

Dark Chocolate

Robert Sugden doesn’t have a lot of indulgences, but he does like to reward himself with a single square of dark chocolate every now and then, usually after a meal, or a job well done — and sometimes, very rarely, when he’s stressed about something big.

It’s not until they’d officially moved in together (the first time) and bars of some kind of dark, bitter German chocolate started appearing in the refrigerator that Aaron had put it together. Because as much as Robert likes his treats rich and somewhat sweet, he also likes them in small bites doled out over a long period of time.

They’ve never quite talked about it, but anytime Aaron sees that telltale bar is nearing its second or third last square (usually once every couple of months), he makes sure to pick another one up at David’s shop, even noting the name of the exact brand Robert likes so as to never deviate from the norm. The older man never says anything when he spots it among the rest of their groceries, but always finds a way to show his gratitude; cooking a favourite dish the next day, or being a little extra attentive in the bedroom that night.

When Robert moves back in (the second and final time), there’s already an unopened bar of chocolate sitting in the refrigerator — one of the many surprises Aaron has had waiting for his husband. Only this time, the older man proceeds to unwrap it in front of him, breaking off squares for both of them, and offering Aaron his with a soft smile.

Despite the slightly bitter taste, their kisses that night are little sweeter than usual.

:::::

Pads

She can tell who’s bought them based on which kind appear in the little wicker basket under the bathroom sink. If it’s Robert, there’s usually two kinds (regular and overnight), both always the same brand. If it’s Aaron, it’s the standard kind, with the brand varying based on what kind of sale there might be at the chemist’s — or if Tracy’s working at David’s Shop that day, eager to give her big brother a quiet but understanding nudge in the right direction. (She’s never been so grateful they’ve started stocking up on and selling these kinds of necessities.)

It shouldn’t matter, but it does.

Not because they’re both men daring to buy feminine hygiene products in public or anything silly like that. But because it’s a sign that they’re thinking of her and what she might need and making sure she’s always provided for. Even though she’s more than old enough to take care of this kind of thing herself. Even though this is something they could have left to Chas.

(And because she can still remember the first time she’d gotten her period while in their care, and how they’d both been ill-equipped to deal with it. But now? Now, one of them — probably Robert — has figured out that she prefers pads to tampons, and so stopped them buying those, the box of them mysteriously vanishing after their first few months living together.)

There have been many times she’s wanted to thank them. But it always feels silly, in very much the way it feels absolutely ridiculous to say, “Thank you for loving me.”

Only that actually is what she does mean to say.

Because she is thankful that they love and care enough to know these things about her, in very much the same way she knows little things about them. Like how Robert has instructed Marlon and Vic to always give him double the regular helping of chips for when Aaron doesn’t order any, so her chip-loving big brother can pick them off of Robert’s plate, while still enjoying whatever it is he has decided to order that day, or how Aaron’s been secretly learning Klingon so he can surprise the older man on his birthday by saying something in it. (She didn’t ask.)

And because she’s never quite able to form those words, she does her best not to be so gobby every now and then, or just help out around the house more. But then, there are days like today, where she’s seized with the sudden desire to give them both a hug as they’re sitting there watching yet another episode of Top Gear, quietly bickering among themselves, their conversation intersperse with low chuckles at the other’s jokes. It’s all so utterly domestic — and nothing like she’d have ever dreamed she’d be a part of. So she gives in to that particular desire, going over and leaning forward and squeezing them both from behind, before quickly heading upstairs, a hot blush staining her cheeks red.

“What was that about?” She hears Robert ask, confused by this sudden turn of events.

“I have no idea,” Aaron replies, sounding just as baffled. He then calls out, “Liv? You okay?”

Yeah, she thinks to herself before yelling it out. I’m doing just fine.

:::::

Frozen Pizza

He’s never been the best cook, but Gerry knows a thing or two about frozen pizzas. After all, he’s only been buying and making (and eating) them his entire life, seeing as how his parents were never very good cooks — if they ever bothered putting food on the table, that is.

So the first chance he gets, he goes down to David’s shop and buys five personal size pizzas and a range of different toppings, rushing to get home before anyone else.

Thankfully, Liv’s the only one there, spread out on the sofa, watching yet another rerun of The Simpsons.

“What’s all this?” She asks, intrigued enough to get up and come see what he’s up to.

“What does it look like?” He asks her as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I’m makin’ tea.”

“Not sure it counts if you’re just reheating something in the oven,” she teases, examining one of the boxes peeping out of the bag.

“Yeah, but I’m not just doin’ that, am I?” Gerry says, as he takes the box from her and starts opening it. “I’m makin’ them special.”

He nods at the other bag beside the first one. “I got toppings for each of ya.”

Liv’s expression softens at that.

“Why ya doin’ this?” She asks, but judging from the way she’s picking up and opening the other boxes for him, he guesses she already knows.

“Just wanted to say thanks, I suppose,” he shrugs at her. “They don’t have to keep lettin’ me live here like this.”

She nods and starts unpacking the rest of his purchases.

~~~~~

Aaron and Robert are both surprised and touched by his display of gratitude, neither of them having expected this. For once, neither man teases him, even though dessert is quite literally a cheese pizza with Nutella spread across it and various chocolate candies stuck on it, as well as crushed peanuts. (When he was little, he named this creation the “Peanut Butter Gerry Time.”)

(And though no one really says it, they all kind of get it. Because home isn’t the four walls you stay in, day in and day out. It’s a place where you feel free to be yourself, and are cared for.)

As they begin to clear up, Gerry does his best to explain what tonight was about. But Aaron quickly brushes it off. “Come on mate, it’s us that should be thankin’ you. Never had freshly fried bacon on a cheese pizza, but I’m tellin’ ya, I’m never going back.”

“Duly noted,” Robert had replied, before turning to Gerry. “I know you’re a master of frozen pizza and all, but if you ever want to learn how to make one from scratch, I can teach you. It’s quite fun actually.”

It hardly takes him less than a second to agree.

~~~~~

It takes them less than a month to institute “Pizza Night,” a night where he and Liv relieve Robert of all cooking responsibilities as they do their best to follow his carefully demonstrated instructions.

It’s then, gently stretching the freshly risen dough in his hands — and listening to Robert and Aaron discuss something Vic had said earlier in the day — that Gerry smiles quietly to himself.

He may know everything there is about making a frozen pizza, but he much prefers this instead.

:::::

Cold Medicine

There’s a lot of things that make Aaron Dingle grumpier than usual — and falling ill is one of them. In that regard, he gives Robert a run for his money as the worst patient in the Dingle-Sugden household. (Though he is fairly less dramatic about the whole thing, preferring to suffer in silence, except for the occasional sneeze or cough.)

So anytime the older man hears his partner produce even a hint of a telltale sniffle, he springs into action, first hitting up the chemist for the extra-strength cold and flu medication before stopping over at David’s for every manner of Dingle comfort food possible. (A box of milk chocolate Digestives, a bunch of bananas, and this awful powdered chicken noodle soup that his husband really shouldn’t eat but remembers fondly from the days Chas used to make it for him as a teen.)

By the time Aaron gets home from work, the entire place is smelling of Robert’s own made-from-scratch, Thai-influenced chicken soup — the blonde deciding to save the packet kind for if his husband really finds himself in the throws of a fever — and the sofa’s been turned into some kind of blanket fort hybrid. (The first time Gerry’d seen it, he’d wanted to dive right in, but had quickly changed his mind after seeing the ice-cold glare Robert had thrown his way.)

“You don’t have to do this you know,” he grumbles even as he kicks off his shoes and strips down to his usual hoodie and slides under the comforter Robert has purchased for this purpose alone. It’s clear from his slightly sluggish movements and a grumpier-than-usual demeanour he’s well on his way to a head cold.

“I know I don’t,” Robert tells him, bringing over a tray of soup, as well as a tiny bowl of those oyster crackers he loves so much. “But I’d rather over-pamper you now than sit through two weeks of you refusing to see the doctor until you’re on Death’s door, in which case I’ll have to carry you to the hospital myself.”

“What happened to, ‘In sickness and in health,’?” Aaron asks in between loudly slurped bites, drops of warm soup splattering across his chest.

“When you’re sick, it’s more a case of, ‘When will Death do us part’?” Robert jokes, joining him under the covers with a tray of his own. 

The younger man takes a break just to elbow him in the stomach, before resuming his eating with gusto.

Robert switches on the TV, already having cued up Rocky Balboa for them to watch. But before he hits play, he turns to Aaron and softly says, “I only do all this because I’d like to keep you around for as long as I can, you know.”

This brooks him a response from the younger man, who turns to him and gazes at him with warm, understanding eyes. “I know.”

Robert leans in for a kiss but Aaron doesn’t. He shakes his head. “I’d like to keep you around a lot longer as well.”

A twinkle of mischief finds its way into his face as he quickly adds, “Because if you get sick, it’ll definitely be Death doin’ us part. ‘cause I’ll have to kill ya to stop all the moanin’.”

“I don’t moan when I’m sick,” Robert protests, insulted by the very notion.

Aaron gives him a pointed stare.

Finally, Robert concedes, “Okay. Maybe I do moan. But it’s only a little.”

(Aaron just snorts, but quickly covers it up with another loud slurp.)

:::::

Candles

It’s Liv that first alerts them to the fast-approaching date, something Gerry, rather surprisingly, doesn’t say a word about — even though they’d all expected him to not shut up about it for at least a week.

“Maybe he doesn’t want us to make a big deal of it?” Aaron suggests as he laces up his work boots, one morning before work.

“Have you met Gerry?” Robert asks him, only a hint of sarcasm in his voice, as he buttons up his shirt. “He texted me pictures of the first carrot he pulled from Doug’s garden.”

“Then why wouldn’t he mention his birthday?” Aaron asks, getting to his feet.

“How should I know?” Robert shrugs. “So, what are we going to do then? The usual?”

“The usual?” Aaron asks, confusion entering his voice as he turns to face his husband.

“Breakfast, cake, and presents?” the other man explains, as he checks himself out in the mirror. (The younger man uses this opportunity to admire his husband’s firm behind, sending out a mental thank you to whoever sold him that pair of jeans.)

Aaron tears his eyes away a moment later and nods thoughtfully, “Yeah… And then maybe a small party at ours later.”

“Sounds good,” Robert confirms, stepping forward to give him a kiss on the lips. “Alright. I have to rush to that meeting, but we’ll talk about this later, yeah?”

Aaron smiles back in response. “Yeah.”

~~~~~

When he doesn’t show up the morning of his actual birthday, they all exchange concerned glances across the table, while a chocolate ice cream cake slowly melts, and a stack of freshly made pancakes begins to cool.

Liv goes up to check on him but returns shortly thereafter. “He’s not up there, and the bed doesn’t even look slept on.”

“Does that mean he just didn’t come home, then?” Aaron asks, confused by this development.

“He could be staying at a mate’s,” Robert suggests. “It is a Sunday.”

“No,” Liv tells him, sure of herself. “Gerry always comes home. He would have told me. He never stays out this long.”

“Alright, let’s give him a ring then,” Robert tells her. “Find out where he is.”

Liv does as he says. But she shakes her head a second later. “It went straight to voicemail.”

“It must be switched off,” Aaron says, running a hand through his hair. “Like usual. This is why I’m always tellin’ him to keep it charged.”

“Let’s not panic. I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for all this,” Robert says calmly. “I’ll ring Doug. Aaron, you call Belle and see if Lachlan’s seen him. Liv, ring Chas and find out if he was at the pub last night.”

They all get to work, each calling the person they’d been assigned, despite the relatively early hour.

Doug, an early riser, is the first to confirm he hasn’t seen Gerry. Followed by Chas, and eventually Belle (and Lachlan).

No one’s seen him today — or last night for that matter.

“What do we do?” Aaron asks, worry starting to creep it’s way into his voice. “Do we call the call the police?”

“Maybe we better check with a few more people first,” Robert says, even though there’s more than a hint of doubt in his tone. (If anything, Gerry is an over-texter, constantly alerting them to any update in his or Tip’s lives. Robert’s never known so much about a dog’s poo in his life.) “It could just be that his phone just died before he could phone Liv or one of us. Do we know any of those friends he’s always hanging out with?”

He sounds like he’s barely convinced himself.

“Know any of whose friends?”

They all look up to see a slightly sweaty Gerry standing in the doorway, none of them having noticed his entrance. He’s dressed exactly the way he was yesterday.

“Gerry!” Liv exclaims, the first to recover from her shock. “Where were ya?! We were worried sick.”

It speaks volumes that neither man corrects her or makes a joke. Because it’s true. Though they’d been hiding it, they really had been concerned for his welfare.

Thankfully Gerry has the grace to look apologetic.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry ya,” he says, concern etched all over his face.

“That still doesn’t tell us where you were,” Aaron points out gruffly.

Gerry’s cheeks turned pink.

“Today’s my birthday,” he tells them, unaware that they already know, and not nearly observant enough to have noticed what’s been sitting on the table. “Thought I’d go and see my mum and dad.”

The mood in the room instantly shifts, the intense worry transforming into a more gentle version of itself.

“So, how’d it go?” Liv asks after a long beat of silence has passed.

“They weren’t there,” Gerry shrugs, as if it was the response he’d expected.

Robert and Aaron exchange a look at that. Liv’s attention is focused on her mate. “So they just left ya?”

“I guess,” he says with another shrug. “I tried to ask around about them, but no one remembered. They still thought I was in prison. I was gonna call you but then my phone died and I used the last of my money to get back…”

No one says anything for a bit, each one of them knowing there aren’t enough words for a situation like this, and that nothing they say will be adequate enough.

“Is that an ice cream cake?!” Gerry suddenly exclaims, unfettered joy shining through his voice in that way it always does. “For breakfast?!”

It takes him another second to realise the significance of it. “Wait… Is this for me?”

“No, you idiot,” Liv tells him warmly. “It’s for the other Gerry Roberts who lives here. Of course, it’s for you!”

Gerry looks at all their faces, one by one in succession. “I love it!”

And then, a little more shyly, “You didn’t have to.”

“We know,” Aaron tells him firmly. “But we wanted to.”

“Everyone deserves a birthday celebration,” Robert adds, leaving the counter he’d been leaning against and taking the empty seat by Aaron at the table.

“Even teenagers who never remember to charge their phones,” Aaron adds, slightly sternly, with a twinkle in his eyes.

Gerry’s cheeks turn pink at that, but it does nothing to dampen the sunny smile on his face.

“Alright,” Robert says, clearing his throat. “Let’s get this party started. Liv, pass me that knife.”

~~~~~

Finally, it’s time for presents, which of course Gerry is completely bowled over by. (“You mean this wasn’t it?!”)

Robert and Aaron go first, the scruffy haired man handing him an impeccably wrapped rectangular package. The teen opens it to find a set of grey sheets. The look on his face is a mixture of confusion and delight, clearly not having anticipated this at all.

“Uh. Thanks. I’ve never owned my own bed sheets before!” He tells them, running his hand over the soft, folded fabric.

Both older men trade knowing glances and smiles at that.

“We’ve all had a chat,” Robert informs him gently. “And we decided you won’t be sleepin’ in our guest room anymore. You’ll be sleeping in your own room instead.”

“You’re kicking me out on my birthday?” Gerry asks in surprise, pausing from feeling the softness of the fabric in his hands.

“No, you muppet,” Aaron says, shaking his head. “We’re giving you the guest room. It’s going to be your bedroom from now on.”

The boy’s eyes widen in disbelief at that news. He looks at Aaron, before turning back to Robert, before turning back to Aaron again.

“What… What about Seb?” Gerry asks, turning to Robert. “Won’t he need a place to stay?”

The older man smiles at the consideration the boy is showing.

“Yeah, well, we decided I didn’t really need a home office after all,” Robert tells him, his eyes flitting to Aaron for half a second. “We’re going to turn that into Seb’s room instead.”

Gerry nods, but now there’s a confused frown on his face. “But… Why?”

“You’ve been livin’ here long enough,” Aaron explains with a shrug. “Just thought we’d make it official. Give ya an actual place to call ‘home.’”

“I don’t even have stuff,” the teen insists, the news still sinking in.

“Then it’s a good thing it’s ya birthday,” Liv pipes up. “Now you have someplace to put all your presents.”

He blushes at the very thought.

“Speakin’ of which,” Liv says, before sliding over her present.

Gerry picks up the long, thin, rectangular object and rips away the paper to reveal a wooden sign bearing his name. He grins at the sight of it.

“Just thought you’d like to really make it official,” she tells him, happy with his reaction to it.

“I don’t know what to say,” he says, unable to take his eyes off of it.

“That’s a first,” Robert quips, eliciting a chuckle from all of them — including Gerry, who’s still clutching the sign.

“Thank you,” he finally manages, the word laced with all the emotion he’s currently feeling but simply unable to express.

“You’re one of us now,” Aaron tells him firmly. “So you better not go out without telling one of us ever again. You get that?”

“Yes sir,” Gerry replies, bashfully.

“Good,” Robert says, stepping in. “Now go upstairs and start figuring out where you’re going to put your stuff. Aaron and I have got to start clearing up if we’re going to get ready for your party tonight. Half the village is coming. Even Cain.”

“When did you get so popular?” Liv asks, surprised by this news.

“I dunno,” Gerry shrugs. “Guess I just have a way with people!”

~~~~~

“So, what’d you wish for?” Liv asks Gerry as she removes another one of the candles she’d picked up from David’s Shop earlier in the day off the cake they’d gotten for the party. Beside her, the older boy is busy helping himself to yet another slice, effectively reducing the amount they’d had left over even more, reasoning that this would make it easier for her to store the rest in only one container. Neither Aaron or Robert say anything, seeing as they’re currently preoccupied with their own task in the living room, the younger man playfully taunting the slightly annoyed older one by repeatedly moving the big black garbage bag he’s holding just out of reach any time he attempts to deposit an empty plastic cup or a used napkin.

Gerry thinks back to that moment right after they’d finished singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to him, when he’d looked up and seen Liv and Aaron and Robert all smiling at him from off to the side, and he shakes his head.

“Nothing really,” he tells her earnestly, using a fork to cut carve out a bite for himself. “Don’t really need anything else, do I?”

NOTES

I’ve always thought you can learn a lot about someone by what they’re choosing to buy at the grocery store and who they might be making that purchase for. It’s a nice little act of domesticity that can be filled with so much meaning. Hopefully, I nailed all that.

I DID tweak a few things from canon (like Liv’s choice of period management products), but I just felt like it lent something to the story to do it this way. (Also, the Dingle proverb thing cracked me up and I couldn’t bring myself to cut that weird joke. So apologies for that.) I’m also not quite sure about the characterisation and tone in certain parts, so if there’s an issue, please let me know. As always, please leave any thoughts, comments, questions, or concerns you might have below, or come find me over on Ao3 under her_dark_materials.

[twistednuns]

January 2017

All this sunshine lately. Reading in the beam of warm sunshine on my bed. Taking pretty pictures of translucent things like physalis leaves or a crystal. Admiring how green my eyes are in the right light.

Berlin magic.

Despite all the pain and soreness after being ill: the fact that I do have stomach muscles. Good to know.

A radio interview with the astronaut Samantha Cristoforetti: "From the very beginning, I liked sleeping in weightlessness. Just closing your eyes, floating, sleeping." What a nice thought.

New Year's Day was unexpectedly peaceful and happy. After celebrating with Claudia, Frank and Fabi (we made salad with goat cheese and bacon, pho and raspberry tiramisu; watched Dinner for One, played a drinking game and Activity and Bleigießen - apparently I got a ship which means I'm gonna go on a big trip) I stayed at Frank's place. We discussed space and the different planetory size relations and how insignificant I think we are so I don't like thinking about space. Frank is more optimistic; he thinks the idea that humanity might really matter on an intergalactic level in a few thousand years is so exciting. All this must have been triggered by watching Lars von Trier's Melancholia together. Anyway. In bed, we talked about our ideal picnic spot (somewhere over the rainbow) again, Machu Picchu with Roquefort. And illegal international cheese smuggling. I told him the story of Obi's Swiss colleagues who always bring cheese when they come to work at the observatory in Chile. On the next morning, I found Frank playing with his birthday present on the floor. I made tea and we watched another episode of Westworld. I left the house because his parents were about to come over and treat him to dinner. Got a beautiful brownie and some mezze at the Turkish bakery (I love the fact that they're open on Sundays) and took in the atmosphere. Everything was calm, the sun was shining, it was a bit foggy. So I went to Ruhmeshalle to see the Bavaria statue. There was confetti on the floor and Theresienwiese actually felt like Tempelhofer Feld in Berlin. Weird and beautiful. Apparently I'm not the only one who notices things like that. When I got home I talked to Doris for a while and suggested a spontaneous roadtrip to Frank. Oh, and on my way home I had this glorious but rare feeling, that I am unbelievably blessed. Everything is really really good and all I gotta do is stop wanting more and appreciating what I have. It's strange, the more intelligent and spoilt you are the likelier you are to be unhappy. Not anymore. I'll try to be good to myself. I'm thankful, SO thankful for what I have and how I feel at the moment, even though I don't really know what changed. I used to be SO miserable.

Ashley was happy and excited like a little child because of the large amount of New Year's Eve fireworks in Germany.

My mum sent me a book and a very heartfelt letter this weekend. I loved the textile feeling of the paper she used and read the book right away.

Doris's reaction to the fact that I glued glitter to my face and got some stuck in my eye.

At New Year's Eve, my fortune cookie advised: "It is not enough just to know the way. You also have to get there." Smart cookie.

Visiting Dantebad for the first time, a large outdoor swimming pool. It was freezing cold and started to snow, but I swam some laps nevertheless. There were cute ladies with floral bathing caps, too. And I loved the underwater lights and the steam in the night. Nice view. When I walked to my car, the sidewalk was covered in snow. Quiet and peaceful.

Getting a small piece of Roquefort and graffiti tofu. Eating it slowly at my desk. Always cutting off just a tiny peace and eating it straight from the knife.

The colour of the broccoli against the pale pink plate. Always take note of good colour combinations (like neon pink Sharpie on light blue paper and pistachio green fingernails against the plum coloured sheets).

Pasta with broccoli, a little cream, parmigiano, chili, thyme. Maybe an onion. Heavenly good.

The British property market delivers gems I'd immediately move into. Or rather this one? I don't even want to look at the rest because I'll never be able to afford something like that (nor do I want to, for that matter, but I appreciate great architecture). Related: somehow I ended up on the official website of the Bavarian castle department and found out that you can actually rent a lot of the rooms! If you could only rent the greenhouses in the botanical garden, too... I'd love to get married there one day.

It didn't make me happy but it moved me: a woman wakes up to find the partner next to her dead. 28 years old. She falls apart, obviously. And she writes about it.

Dr.Hauschka's Rose Day Cream. What a blessing for my moisture-depraved winter skin.

Walking through the Nymphenburg castle park and the botanical gardens in the sunshine. The lakes were frozen and everything was covered in snow. Lena and I went to the beautiful café, sitting at a table in front of the window with a view over the historical botanical institute. I got hot chocolate because I love spooning off the molten whipped cream before I drink it. Unfortunately it was already too late for the greenhouses but we are planning on coming back soon to see the tropical butterflies.

Buying an &otherstories nail polish on  sale that has the same colour as my favourite pistachio ice-cream from Ballabeni in Schwabing (the PERFECT ice-cream flavour).

Getting the last table at grano, a tiny Italian pizza place behind the Munich city museum with interesting wall art.

Feeling like a naughty librarian in my Ace&Tate glasses.

It's odd how comforting a simple "there's absolutely nothing in the fridge" dish is. Couscous with tomato puree. Parmigiano, if I have some. A dash of lemon. That's it.

The movie Gnade (2012) with Birgit Minichmayr and J��rgen Vogel. And beautiful Norwegian landscapes.

The little blue suede pouch with rose gold speckles I got for Christmas. I use it as a wallet and whenever I take it out of my bag I notice how much I love the look and feel of it. Very rarely, an object just feels like you, doesn't it?

Cutting open a passion fruit. And the purple carrot dying the boiling water blue.

The ARTE create Let's Swing series.

A weird dream. Leaving Frank's house, taking the bus to a physiotherapist's practice on a busy street. Waiting room, far too many people. After one or two hours we discovered the auditorium next door. At first, there were only pupils from my old schools (and at some point the dream had been one about a school lesson, I suppose). Soon after, people from the waiting room dropped in and I decided to put on a show. I was the host, of course, and stood on stage, speaking into a microphone. I don't even wanna know what I said. But then Inge and Wölki walked up to me and started making out. And *zoom* we're in a French coastal town (?), climbing over ruins in the sea? I don't know how my subconsciousness conjures these things up...

Going to Candy Club party with Doris. I didn't wear a check shirt like all the lesbians but instead bright pink hair. There was a drag show with a dancing pizza, an all-girl band (The Veras) and an interesting hipster duo, Nalan381. I loved some of the DJ's choices, too, like Warpaint, Róisín Murphy, Bonaparte and Electric Six.

#SaltBae

The big snowman my neighbours have built in the garden. Watching the birds peck at the bags of peanuts I hung up in the bushes.

Eating quail eggs for the first time (we got them at the Karstadt supermarket where everything is super pricey but it's so exciting to go through the aisles and look at the unusual items they're selling). The box said they came from "alternative production" so Frank and I were joking about quails with tiny party hats, riding model trains around the pen. Only drinking full moon water and having energy crystals around.

The fact that I really enjoy healthy eating. I usually forget when I eat too much junk food and sweets because the palate is so easily adaptable. But recently I've started preparing salads, soups, chia pudding and lots of fruit and veg again - it's fun and it makes me feel so much better.

Travel Man - 48 Hours in... // A travel guide series with Richard Ayoade!

ProperCorn - tiny popcorn snackpacks; mine came with smooth peanut and almond. Yum.

Also: eating much healthier. Eating less. Eating a ton of veggies and fruit. And feeling so good about it! I even lost a few kilograms already. Is this finally happening?

Going to Residenztheater for the first time to see Arthur Miller's The Crucible. What a great play. Later I found out that the actor who playes John Proctor was also in Toni Erdmann; he played the colleague who attended the naked party after all, I think. I've got two more theatre tickets for the next weeks, I'm really looking forward to it.

Having dinner and watching a movie at the cinema with colleagues and Nicole's brother and father. We got along famously and I actually got her Bernhard's phone number because we are planning on seeing an ice-hockey match together.

Discovering this old back issue of Missy Magazine with a focus on Sleater-Kinney. Why, WHY is it sold out?! Also this photograph. Dressing like Corin is my life goal now. I'm having a fangirl moment.

Reading about feminism. Being overwhelmed by the Women's Marches all over the world on the day after Trump's inauguration. Getting the feeling that standing up for equality is something I'm passionate about. Ashley Judd reciting Nina Donovan's I am a nasty woman was powerful. I hope Trump is going to fuck up big time so people will wake up now and make America actually great again. He's just going to make us stand closer together.

Taking a moment in a club (even though being in a glum mood) to appreciate how great it is to stand in a room full of dancing people, listening to really loud rock music (fun, too, you know - Ballroom Blitz!).

Tiny embroideries.

Deciding on brushing up my French (I'm going to Paris next month!!). Earning more than 1300xp in DuoLingo on a slow Saturday.

Smorfia neapolitana. Crazy Italians. I saw one of these posters in Travel Man and liked the idea a lot.

Nachtbad - they turned an old sauna club in the gay part of the city into a bar, and they even left the showers running. Nice venue.

Hamlet at Munich Kammerspiele. Buckets full of blood and a confetti hose. I loved it.

A healthy dose of cat content. Watching the streetcat Bob movie with Doris and visiting Fricki at home where I got to know Effi the cat. She loved me and sat on my shoulder; even slept like a baby on my arm.

Spending a day in the city instead of going to work (even though I had to attend a workshop). Walking through streets I rarely visit. Getting beautiful and unusual (pumpkin, truffle, rosemary...) macarons at Principessa's and having a chat with the owner. Having dinner at the Victorian House, walking over Viktualienmarkt, stopping at a fruit vendor for some blueberries, getting a necklace at &otherstories and rice papier at the Asian food store.

Outside our classroom we saw a fox running through the snow! I was just as excited about that as the children.

Taking a screen printing class! We were only 4 people and the teacher was really nice so we spent the whole Saturday making prints. I want my own screen now... gotta find out where to get or how to build one! I printed a Sleater-Kinney picture on a tote bag, by the way. "Nasty women!"

The dad in the whole food market who showed his son a monkey toy with a long tail and laughed out loud because it looked like a dick.

Seeing a small piece of rainbow over the street I take every day!

Desire paths.

Making summer rolls with peanut dip. And cooking the same dish Fricki made for me the other day: pumpkin, zucchini, thyme and feta. Delicious.