#nothing feels worth doing
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Having depression is The Worst, because like I just Exist and BOOM. Overwhelmingly tired.
#my hobbies feel like chores#I've got mad writer's block#drawing just does not feel worth it#hanging out with people is draining#this Sekai Event is exhausting and idk if I even want to try tiering to the top five thousand#I literally stay between five and six thousand every day#I'm SO fucking close#but just not there#I feel like I'm gonna get knocked n the last hour of the Event like last time when I actually HAD stayed above four thousand the whole week#nothing feels worth it#nothing feels worth doing#nothing feels good#nothing feels#I don't feel#I kinda just want to cry but that's so exhausting#I'm just talking to myself knowing no one will see or care like
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Burning Rotten Bridges
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mianmian#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#JGY is nothing but outwardly calm and carrying on his duties as the chair for the meeting#but in that small pause after Nie Mingjue commemorates Mianmian for leaving...you can feel the tension.#Because Nie Mingjue comes from a place of privilege. He's always been in a position where his legitimacy and political standing-#-were never challenged. He didn't have to fight for respect. He was born into this world respected.#For people like Mianmian and JGY who clawed their way up from the bottom...this is a huge deal.#Truth be told I have a lot of things to say about what it means and feels to be in a position where leaving is messy.#There are times where the situation is bad but to leave means that those years of your life will have been for nothing.#That all the other suffering incurred will be fruitless. So you just *keep going*. Because it *has* to be worth it.#Because going back to what you were before is even more terrifying than the hell you are boiling in.#My concrete example for this is post-grad academia.#Because that cohort will have spent over a decade pursuing a goal and leaving means...well...it means throwing away those years.#It means losing (likely nearly all) your connections. It means going into debt you'll never pay off.#It means putting up with some pretty heinous abuse from your supervisor because what are you suppose to do? Leave?#Leaving is for those with the privilege to have options.#And even if you do have options...#Ultimately we would rather love the pain we know than risk the unknown. Hoping it's worth it one day.#With that mindset established; never say JGY should have just left like Mianmian. He couldn't. This was what he dedicated his life to.#He never had the option. Even if it seemed like he did - no he did not. He never conceived this ending ever happening for himself.
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
I find the fact that the confrontation at the end of UTRH is often summarized as Jason asking Bruce to kill the Joker for him fascinating.
Because that's not what happened.
Jason holds a gun up to Joker's head, gives Bruce another, and tells him that if Bruce doesn't do something (shoot Jason), he will kill Joker.
Jason doesn't give the gun to Bruce so that he would shoot Joker. He isn't expecting Bruce to pull the trigger on the clown. He's asking Bruce to do nothing. To be inactive. Because that will still be a choice, and despite having done nothing, everybody clearly agrees that Bruce would still, at least in part, be responsible for Joker's death.
...And to me, this moment is a kind of- microcosm, of the rest of Jason's point. Because after being captured and carted off to Arkham, the villain will escape again, and will kill more people. The only way to truly prevent that from happening would be to kill them; Bruce refuses to do so, and I respect his right to choose such a thing for himself, but it is still a choice, and if we agree that Bruce's inaction during the confrontation would leave him at least partly responsible for the Joker's death, then we must also agree that his inaction in permanently preventing the Rogues from killing more people means he is also, partly, responsible for all of those deaths.
#my dc posting#batman#dc#bruce wayne#jason todd#joker#uhh is this like analysis or meta#anyway. to me this is the message that scene sends#if we say bruce doing nothing would mean he assisted in the murder of joker then bruce doing nothing about the villains means he is also#responsible for those deaths#ANYWAY yes b4 you come at me;;#bruce's belief in rehabilitation and that everyone can get better is central to his character#and i love it and no i dont actually think he should kill the rogues or whatever#but the question there is. Are you fine with the future victims your decisions will cause?#Are their lives worth the slim chance any of these people will get better?#batman says yes theyre worth it. red hood says no theyre not.#thats the fundamental moral difference there#its why jason challenges the batman status quo#which is why he cant be harnessed well after his initial return bc comics can never truly escape that status quo#anyway i sure am having some thoughts for someone not that smart so if you disagree please tell me!!! just be civil or ill just block you <#...anyway this is another thing BTAS succeeds in bc i always feel like yes these villains do deserve yet another chance#despite what theyve done. bruce's belief in them doesnt feel stupid and naive#its abt what you yourself can live with. bruce can live w the deaths of the ppl the criminals he doesnt get rid of kill#and jason can live with killing those criminals and preventing further victims
994 notes
·
View notes
Text
Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
167 notes
·
View notes
Text
@vulpixisananimal
[Soothing Restful Song]
[You hear a bell. Chiming, tolling, calling your name.]
#HIIII PIIIIIX DID U MISS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#i have. normal thoughts on mirabelles new attack. anyway did u know the script project refers to the sound of her reflecting—#—the kings attack as a bell sound. bc i do!#smth smth the bell it tolls for thee. u get it#dont worry abt the fact that theres tears in the attack. im sure thats fine and means absolutely nothing#in other news i found it kinda ironic that her attack is full of change circles. bc its the opposite of change. so i changed it!#all the circles are now incomplete! symmmmbolismmmm :3c#i also think its neat that yours doesnt have her actual Craft Shape so i kept that. instead i made the clock hands into stars. :3c#love drawing meeble. i figured her out last week and its great#my art#sifstem#siffrin system au#isat mirabelle#mirabelle isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#i was also considering showing her danglys but. hides her change symbols. :3cccccccc#im SO proud of how this turned out. god. i literally went into my sketchbook to doodle it and then suddenly this was on my tablet#its got so many goddamn effect layers too...#worth it lol#im sure mirabelles feeling SO normal abt freezing someone in time. yknow. the thing the king did. im sure thats fine.#im sure its not worrying at all that shes capable of doing that. using the Craft That Fucking Kills You.#god i love the sifstem au its SO COOL
125 notes
·
View notes
Text
give the man a baby
#my art#one piece#heart pirates#trafalgar law#one piece law#trafalgardwaterlaw#i drew this while i was reading 'maybe this wasn't such a good idea'#these have nothing to do with the fic but it feels worth mentioning
202 notes
·
View notes
Text
obsessed with ideas of what a fight between those two would look like...
#update: my brain tried to kill me but it didn't work and also i can legally drive now#cats the musical#my art stuff#munkustrap#the rum tum tugger#i have yapped about this endlessly to people but ill harp on it one more time. i don't think either of them would back down if sufficiently#like. annoyed? set off? by each other#because i think in general situations they'll both back down. munkustrap will back down when it's not worth it and it's better to just let#tugger posture. and tugger will back down if with a bit of posturing still if he can see that munk actually won't budge because#actually fighting him just isn't worth it. like i feel like they have a fairly good sense of which one of them should just let it go in a#given situation#i'm looking at them partially as cats and partially as people lmao. i think in a situation where the arguing topic is one that actually#matters to both of them and they disagree - this drawing is on an argument about griz i thought of fx - they'll be locked in a bit of a#standstill until they can figure themselves out. in this situation the way i have it in my head tugger would back down but he would not wan#to. he'd just know munkustrap's standing his ground on this one and there's nothing he can do about it so he'll just turn tail and#scamper off eventually#cue silent treatment for a week or something#and then they take a few naps together and life is beautiful again#bazinga
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ve been so busy with other stuff but I really want to get back to drawing WHF art so I went and cleaned up a wip. Not sure how I feel with some of the angles but I just needed to get this out of my system
Based off of this clip
Click for better quality
Check my pinned post to see links on how you can help the people in Palestine
#mcart#we happy few#whf#uncle jack#jack worthing#whf uncle jack#nick lightbearer#norbert pickles#whf nick lightbearer#is this lightfog?#yeah it is ngl so#lightfog#listen any ship art I make usually nine times out of ten it’s nothing romantic it’s usually shitposts like this#but the subtext is there#and this is toxic yaoi anyway ain’t no way they’d have a proper romantic relationship#their dynamic compels me though#it would work more in his foggy jack form but also I think it would be funny if this is how jack acts to him in his uncle jack form#just slightly unhinged#anyway uhhh if you’re still reading the tags uhh mayhaps you’d like to send me a request for a whf art idea?#gonna be honest I only have so many ideas I want to do but I feel like I need to be motivated so#it would be so awesome. it would be so cool#read my pinned post though and take into consideration for that cause there’s just some things I won’t do so I may end up rejecting an idea#would like to draw something with uncle jack cause like lately ive been trying to draw him but been having the hardest time idk why#he just looks off in my artstyle rn so maybe if i get a request id be able to lock in#anyway uhhh thats it
82 notes
·
View notes
Text
Reminder for those who need it: fun is a human need - yes, you read right, a need. Fun as a concept will, of course, look different for everybody, but fun is a need. This is regardless of age. We conceptualize "fun" as something only children are allowed to do, that growing up is to ditch everything "fun" for practicality. Fuck that noise, you are alive. Fun is a need, you can (and should, even) treat "fun" as being just as important as sleep - so, something you build into your schedule wherever you want or can.
#mental health#gentle reminders#saw somebody say they felt they could only have hobbies if they weren't because they were 'fun' and they HAD TO be practical#and that just. makes me really sad for them. not because they're doing something wrong but because they don't deserve to feel their fun...#...should be a shameful thing if it doesn't Serve A Purpose#bro. the fun IS the purpose. that purpose helps ENRICH you and DEVELOP you and makes you feel WHOLE and ALIVE because you are#how is that not a purpose worth pursuing? why are we taught that our selves are worth nothing on their own?
331 notes
·
View notes
Text
22 is such a weird age bc it’s like . some days i feel grown enough to take out a Mortgage and other days i’m like oh i’m actually the most immature and childish version of myself that i have ever been . what now
#it’s so weird too bc like. i have friends getting Married and having kids while i have never been in a serious relationship#and another friend moving to new york to start her career and people are just so all over the place in life#it’s so wild#it really is like. how can a person know everything at 18 and nothing at 22#etc etc#also i do consistently keep forgetting my age and thinking that i am 23#i Feel 23#i think the last year has just been like. 2 years worth of stuff#anyway!
71 notes
·
View notes
Text
When in doubt, Soup it out.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#a-yuan.#wei wuxian#Yes I am skipping over LWJ's panic at WWX joking about giving birth to A-Yuan. It's funny bit but there are many more to come!#The last time these two sat down together the tensions were so high. The peace is nothing more than a layer of cold fat on the surface.#It's not 'really' them coming to see eye to eye. It's them not having the energy to say what they really want anymore.#LWJ is very defined by his jealousy and the conflict it creates with his need to put his feelings aside for the perceived greater good.#To live a life where you are always second and never ever allowing yourself to be first...#If other people can be at peace and happy - it has to be worth it right?#If he orders a plate of food that he will struggle to eat but is the favourite thing of the person sitting across from him#Is it not worth the sacrifice?#But remember! You can't take anything for yourself ever. No matter how much you want it.#He did it once before and he regrets it so much. So all he can do is accommodate.#And WWX? Well. You can't let anyone in if there isn't enough water to splash around in.#Keep things shallow and they just move on. Even if you'll miss them when they go - this is just how things are now.#No more teasing and trying to pull a reaction from LWJ anymore. You'll never be more than someone he can't stand so what's the point.
810 notes
·
View notes
Text
'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
141 notes
·
View notes
Text
i am very much not doing okay today D:
hugs?
#hugs would be nice#jsut streamed 8 hours worth of movies in the server and might do more later#but i just really feel like crap and nothing is helping me feel better#like seriously nothing#no one has even really noticed which is a good thing i guess but like hrrgg
32 notes
·
View notes
Note
For 💖🎀, what about Marx? Little cute creature concealing incredible magic and uncanny features! I think he could be so mean to her ❤️
oh... anon you are very big brained for this one. he could unfortunately be so so mean to her.... and he has such pretty pretty wings! she would be enraptured instantly.
bonus eye-anim version (cw eyes/flashing gif):
#a moth to a flame...#this is maybe not especially... shippy sorry. he's just... Looming Menacingly.#the way he *always* does in my artwork.... boring.#unfortunately my marx is an intelligent eldritch meanie. *feels* a bit more than my galacta knight but no less grey in the morals.#for what it's worth i DID come up with a short comic for this prompt as well. but it's Not Nice. would y'all still want me to do it?#nothing overt or explicit. but like... manipulation i suppose. mean lies. it's not even About Her really. just a pawn.#and yes his lashes ARE getting bigger every single time i draw him. like he deserves. wings too#i gotta learn to simplify these damn hexagons#actually a very big fan of the implied parallel. cute little uncanny creature. i could do a lot with that actually. there's a lot here.#also if i had to wake up in a cold sweat about this so do the rest of you but: Starx.#Starxstrarx if you're feeling especially mischievous. try and say it aloud. it's what he'd want. you're welcome.#cw flashing#<- only under the cut. but just in case.#marx (kirby)#starstruck dee#my art#🎀💖
119 notes
·
View notes
Text
(Frankenstein'd two asks together for the sake of previty)
I've been pretty torn between answering this ask and just doing a deep dive re-analysis post about Marineford as a whole (from Crocodile's perspective) because I feel like rereading it now as a Crocodad Truther, I could probably make a whole lot of new observations and/or read into things differently than I did last time I read it (when I was rereading for the purpose of studying the viability of Crocodad) Like there's so much to say about the whole arc and I'd include this line of thought in there anyways... But also, do I really feel like writing a giant essay like that........
I am going to start this by refering to this mini-essay I wrote like a month ago, about how Crocodile seems to have this attitude of "no crying over spilt milk". What's happened has happened, what's done is done, it's your own fault things turned out the way they did, there's no undoing any of it and you just have to continue on. And I do think that attitude would be key here to understanding Crocodile's actions in Marineford re:Crocodad
(Sidenote because this is not relevant to the rest of the post, but the reason this is about Crocodad and not CrocoUncle etc is because if Crocodile was only loosely related to Luffy it would not have the same kind of impact emotionally (for Crocodile; like there is a difference between a nephew and a son). Additionally a part of Crocodad is that it ties into Crocodile's connection with Ivankov in a really important way. If Crocodile was only loosely related to Luffy, him also being trans would kind of be like a random sidenote without being relevant to the two being family, but suddenly if Crocodile is Luffy's other biological parent, him being trans matters a lot more. Also if he's not Luffy's other dad then we'd be still stuck asking who the fuck birthed Luffy to begin with)
While Sengoku's announcement here would make for a horrific revelation to Crocodile in this situation (a revelation we never see his immidiate reaction to, which continues to be deeply sus), what would it change, really?
The little idiot child who Crocodile had attempted to murder multiple times was his own son. Sure, he might've insantly lost whatever grudge he might've held against Luffy, then what? That feeling would be one-sided, because at this point in the story Luffy hated Crocodile's guts and he knew that too. Luffy has no idea about them being related, and even if Crocodile literally walked up the kid right that second and told him the truth, what would it change? He'd still be the man who nearly nuked a million people off the face of the earth, took over a country and killed Luffy and his friends while laughing about it. Being Luffy's other dad wouldn't make him any less of a horrible asshole (if anything it might make it slightly worse 'cause you get to add shit like "child abandonment" onto his list of crimes).
Luffy came to Marineford to save Ace. Crocodile came to Marineford to kill Whitebeard. He had no reason to interfere with Luffy's quest, and with the help Luffy already was recieving from the prison escapees, the Newkama and the Whitebeard Pirates, what would Crocodile's assistance add to the mix? Would Luffy even welcome him in helping save his brother?
Luffy had his own life, a life Crocodile had not been a part of. He had no right to try to insert himself into it at this point, after all he had done to Luffy. There's no crying over spilled milk. What's done is done, you just have to move on. He should just focus on what he came to do; get his revenge and take Whitebeard's head, as planned.
Deep breaths
...Only to realize that Whitebeard is a dying old man and not worth even killing anymore, because he's not the same Primebeard whom once beat Crocodile and crushed all his dreams. Defeating Whitebeard would not give him the catharsis he came for.
And at that point, the fuck was Crocodile going to do? The revenge he wants isn't there anymore 'cause it went bad a few decades ago. And between the raging war and Doflamingo on his ass it's not like he could just sneak out without anybody noticing. He doesn't have allies (aside from Daz under him) to worry about. He only has his hatred to the World Government.
At that point, he might as well be a nuisance to the Government and assist Luffy. Even if the help wasn't welcomed, even if Luffy hated him and regardless if he knew the truth or not, helping Luffy right then and there would still be better than letting the Government have their way and kill his son right in front of him
#Moon posting#Asks#OP Meta#Sir Crocodile#Crocodad#Part of the reason I may have somewhat wanted to make that deep dive analysis was to see if I could debunk Crocodad (again)#Because my understanding of Crocs character HAS changed massively and I feel like I CAN understand what might be going through his head her#And as much as I am a Crocodad Truther I can't help but to wonder if his Weird Behaviour in Marineford COULD be explained away#And like honestly you could remove all mentions of Crocodad from this post and I still think my explanation to why Crocodile chose to...#...help Luffy would still stand. Like he has nothing else to do after WB turned out to be Not Worth It so might as well fuck with the WG#The only parts it wouldn't explain would be like. Croc's missing reaction to Sengoku's announcement.#And that look of almost horror sinking in on his face while he smokes and faces Mihawk. Like THOSE bother me#Like either Crocodile was pre-occupied thinking about other things (the well-being of his idiot son who hates him etc etc)#Or??? He had a raging hateboner for Whitebeard and had his mood ruined?????????????????#I dunno man my brain rot is bad
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
A comic about Olive, and his meeting with the guy who could have ruined his life if it wasn't already so fucked up
#like. it's not a cute happy end#Ambrose is not a good person and is not doing any good in Olive's life#and Ambrose himself knows#but Olive happened to not care because in all cases he just wanted to end it all before meeting him#Ambrose would be like. the worst partner for everyone else but Olive..#and Olive wouldn't be a good one either#at the end they're happy together so whatever.. good for them i guess#Ambrose still feels guilty because Olive is not a lost case like him and could have healed#if he just had met a normal guy to love him#But things are just like that#anyway. the comic is also a bit personal lol Olive isn't the most self insert oc ever for nothing#for the first part at least#i will wait for my big tiddy fucked up man to show so i can start to think that surviving was worth it pff#suicide cw#cw suicide#dysphoria cw#cw dysphoria#my art#oc art#digital art#comic#comic art#trans artwork#mlm art#Olive#Ambrose
50 notes
·
View notes