#not wanting to associate with a terrible person is. weird

[wc-confessions]

Why does it feel like nowadays you have to have some sort of intense background check by some hidden council in order to be allowed in some maps? Not by skill but by opinions politically or not. (Even though that doesn’t usually matter??)

A lot of decisions are also usually face-value assumptions of others which is really rude.

I’ve seen participants say they’re uncomfortable with others but they haven’t even met each other or talked..? So it’s more like they don’t like them and want them out of the map. Even if the first complainer is problematic themselves.

so really it’s a race to who can be uncomfortable with the other first and “inform” the host first.

it’s like a territory dispute nowadays. Map drama is weird. Is it possible that people somehow followed the books clan life style so seriously? Lol.

i mean...i doubt people want to unknowingly work with a fascist or something

[year2000electronics]

Bill & Ford & A Book, Oh My!

DISCLAIMER: The Book of Bill has Bill Cipher serving as an unreliable narrator. If we go out trying to say something is "definitively a truth" or "definitively a lie", we're going to keep arguing about it until the heat death of the universe. This is just my own personal interpretation of the source material. If you don't agree, that's fine! Also TBOB spoilers abound.

So it's no secret that interest in the dynamic Bill & Ford have (enemies, platonic, romantic, formerly romantic, whichever way) has really skyrocketed since TBOB's release. Of course, there are the 'easy' culprits to point towards, with Mabel referring to Bill as 'being like a needy ex', and the whole O'Sadley's fiasco (Him literally crying over losing Ford and going "one Sixer, please"? Messy. Messy behavior. Still, I think it goes so much deeper than that.

Bill, being the unpredictable chaos entity that he is, also serves as the main antagonist for a show about family and having close bonds with each other. We don't really need to look into his inner psyche that much, because that's just not what he needed to be doing at that point in the cartoon. He's meant to be a way to divide the Pines, really. And a silly little guy. A silly little obstacle. So, naturally, when it came to Bill's arguably "closest" relationship to someone in the show (Ford), it was very easy to interpret it as Ford being tricked by a completely apathetic Bill, who was just using him as a rung on the ladder. And I do want to stress that Ford and Bill's physical actions remain fairly consistent throughout interpretations, and focusing on the fact that Bill badly hurt Ford is important, so if that's how you still see it, then fine by me! No harm no foul!

But I think the relationship, their story, their tragedy just becomes so much more interesting with the lens The Book of Bill has presented. We’re finally able to see Bill’s perspective as a “protagonist” of sorts in a medium where he’s not just something to defeat- and that’s something we’ve never gotten before, so it’s shedding light on an area we didn’t know about for sure! Again, Bill is lying to the character of "the reader", so we can't trust it as a completely unbiased source. But we can speculate on where the "truth" is between these lies.

First of all, Bill's backstory was that he destroyed his home dimension- we knew that already. But now, with the extra content we have about it, we see something interesting- that Bill's backstory mirrors Ford's to an uncanny degree.

Both of them champion their intelligence, although they highlight how it set them apart from others, as well as highlighting their own 'rare mutation/birth defect'.

Again, with this self-isolation already spurred on from their "weirdness", but also as a little aside, I would also like to highlight that Bill being 'ready to be one', looking up at the stars, striving to 'reach' them, is a shared motif he has with Ford, who is also associated with space, the stars, and reaching them.

Bill's 'trying-really-quick-to-convince-Ford' fantasy sequence even has him in a field of stars as a sort of "ultimate wish fulfilment". Remember, this is Bill showing Ford something he thinks would win Ford over, at least a little.

(And I'll take a quick time out for this train of thought to point out- hey! Bill admits he sought out most of his other victims, but Ford summoned him, and it took him by surprise! That adds a fun little layer of complexity to everything, don't you think? Another little layer of humanity for this whole mess- Bill didn't expertly seek out the 'perfect victim' or anything, it was just... luck. Some twist of fate.)

Anyways.

Obviously, the intro page to the 'Sixer' section has a ton of red flags galore (I mean, poor guy's literally depicted as a hapless puppet. C'mon, Bill. Not to mention the "OH BOY HE'S ALREADY SO ISOLATED, IT'S PERFECT" thing.). This guy is kind of a terrible companion no matter how you slice it. He's terrible to everyone close to him, because he's a deeply traumatized character who refuses to heal. BUT, the wording here is kinda deliciously intriguing to me. All of humanity is Bill's puppets, his future victims, but to me, it's clear that he holds a fondness for Ford. From "This is what a partner looks like", to "Me and Sixer could be the perfect team", to "He had what I always wanted- fingers" (drawn to his strangeness, maybe?), "He was destined for so much more", "I looked at his futures and giggled", and most stand-out to me, "Society calls these people freaks, I call them Henchmaniacs!"

Going back to the pre-Book of Bill era I was talking about, Bill's offers for Ford to join him were always in a sort of murky territory for interpretation. The first offer could definitely be read as mocking, with the line "WITH THAT SIX-FINGERED HAND, YOU'D FIT RIGHT IN WITH MY FREAKS!" in particular making it seem like Bill was only saying that to rub Ford's strangeness in his face, and the second offer to join Bill being under a new circumstance- that now Bill is desperate and believes Ford is the only one who can help him. But the Book of Bill mentions the idea of Ford becoming a Henchmaniac more than once, and also has Bill upset at losing Ford and claiming "he'll be back", as well as Bill seeming to use "freak" more like a badge of honour, and having previously complimented Ford's six fingers (In the Sixer intro page, he highlights Ford's fingers as a quality he likes, and in the pages about bodies, he states that "humans should have more fingers". To me, that first offer reads more now like Bill being genuine about finding Ford a place among his misfits. ...Although, the moment Ford says no, he does zap him into a statue. So. Y'know. He's still got issues.

(Yeah, again, red flag city. "Just hazing"? Bill, none of what you were doing over there was okay! You might have suppressed everything traumatic that happened to you, but that doesn't mean you can go around traumatizing everyone! Good lord.)

Bill has already been imply to like other characters because they remind him of himself. Pointing towards a connection with a character Bill DOESN'T have a weird undefinable ex-partner thing with... Mabel! Alex has says in multiple official media and interviews that Bill sees a lot of himself in Mabel, and essentially, that he thought Mabeland was the perfect prison because if HE liked all that awesome, uncontrolled chaos over any family or friends, why wouldn't SHE? And we see that again in TBOB. So basically, what I'm saying is that we have two characters to back up the fact that Bill seems gravitated towards humans or other living beings that he views as being 'like him'- beings he can relate to! So, y'know, what does that say about Bill and Ford?

There's also Bill's plans for the reader and "Weirdmageddon 2.0", where he portrays the reader as getting to, like, perch on his arm like a little bird and get their own little crown? And specifically calls out Ford for not going through with things?? Okay, Bill??

AND Ford not only being the only human mentioned on the list of people he "definitely doesn't miss so stop asking", but also having his own category? Alright, man.

Of course, another point to the 'Hey, maybe Bill can actually feel emotions towards humans besides complete and total apathy' club is this page here, which has ALSO been hotly debated! Certainly, we know he's telling the truth about his home dimension being destroyed, and we know that he's lying about the 'monster', but some interpret this scene as Bill not being remorseful at all and playing his reaction up to earn Ford's sympathy. And me, personally, I dunno if I agree. I feel like the specific inclusion of Bill "looking distant, more distant than I'd ever seen him" (Mirroring the fact that he keeps blacking out when thinking about all his large-scale massacres) and him "laughing joylessly", I think this sequence is meant to tell us that Bill actually is being vulnerable with Ford here, it's just hidden under layers and layers of deceit, whether towards himself or Ford or both.

And finally for my Book of Bill collection stuff, there's the stuff that could be read as more romantic in nature. In the 'love' section, Bill claims he doesn't love anyone, but, like-

Come on. You can disagree with me that it's Ford, but he does have exes. And he's clearly not over them. Shrimpy little liar. And then there's the fact that a lot of his hokey 'advice' is stuff he ends up directly doing to Ford.

These rats.

The Love Cage.

The Book of Bill really outlined all that in bold, but in my opinion, it was never an entirely new revelation! Bill seems to hold a preference for Ford over other humans in the show. He shows up in Ford's dreams just to say hi, tease him, and gloat (Mabelcorn) unlike the other two dream appearances he's made (Dreamscaperers, Sock Opera) which were exclusively for business purposes. Unlike every other character that gets exclusively one nickname for their zodiac sign, Ford gets multiple (Fordsy, IQ, Sixer, smart guy, brainiac, the list goes on). Bill asks Ford to join him TWICE, whereas anyone else who tries gets their face rearranged, put in a cage and made to dance, frozen in stone, etc etc. And finally, I think, the most emblematic of Bill's weird, specific relationship with Ford, is that whereas everybody else gets turned into stone, Ford got turned into gold.

Which kinda sums up their whole thing up pretty well? Bill gave him special treatment by turning him into a golden statue (similar to yellow ha ha), always holding him close, but, like... Dude. You still kidnapped a man and turned him into a statue and then threatened to kill his niece and nephew. I don't think it will change his opinion on you if he's the Most Pampered Hostage, Actually. I just don't think that we need to explore the relationships between characters as simply "Well, this character hurt the other one, so we shouldn't really think about why or what they feel personally, because what they did was bad, so there".

Bill & Ford interest me because they're a tragedy in motion. We can see that Bill and Ford mirror each other in a multitude of ways, and we can see that they both do have positive feelings towards each other at the time they meet, and we see that Bill very desperately wants Ford to be just like him in the unhealthy ways; the ways that make Bill destroy entire universes and compartmentalize it all, because maybe then, he can finally have the companionship he so deeply aches for. Bill and Ford both had tough, lonely upbringings, but Ford moved on from that "I don't need you" mentality. That's what saved him. Bill didn't, and that's what got him where he was in the end. I feel like that's just so much more interesting than Bill just being a flat entity that makes abuse Happen to Ford, just as another Event in his life. I mean, isn't it just SO much more interesting that Ford humanizes Bill, in a way? That Ford makes him- in Bill's own words- "sentimental"? That a chaotic dream demon has regrets and loves and favourites and connections? It's the same thing with Fiddleford & Ford, although, obviously, to a MUCH lesser extent than Bill & Ford. But you get what I mean, right? You know that Fiddleford and Ford are going to undo each other in the end, and the path to that downfall is... it's telling a story! I like the story of it all! I think that's what I've been invested in and intrigued by all these years- the story, the tragedy of Bill and Ford. No matter what form it takes.

(Plus, as tumblr user fordtato pointed out in their own essay (not tagging because this post is messy enough as is oh god), hey, Ford now has two incredibly queer-coded narratives, with one of them being about how he recovered and was able to heal from an abusive relationship. And, well, I think that's just neat.)

Anyways, that's the end of the post. Thanks for reading this long!

[noyzinerd]

Derek teaching unknown werewolf societal/cultural facts to Stiles is cute, and I love that for them, truly, but I want to see the reverse.

We're always hearing about when someone (usually Stiles) asks a naive question about werewolves and Derek going "No, you idiot! It doesn't work like that!" As if it's common knowledge that everyone should know, when in reality there's no possible way Stiles (or any average person, for that matter) could know that.

And I'm sure in Derek's world, stuff like silver not actually being effective against werewolves is a no-brainer or spotting a Kitsune is laughably easy, but not to the common bystander.

So, instead, I'd love to see the random, human customs and social norms Stiles would find himself needing to explain to Derek when they start living together. Stuff that the human family members of his pack never displayed because they had been raised surrounded by werewolves their entire lives.

From all the small things like how, when you get a canker sore or lose a filling, you always gotta stick your tongue in it. ("No, we don't want to do it. It hurts like hell, actually. It's just something we do. Don't ask me why. I honestly couldn't tell you. It's the same with picking scabs or pressing down on bruises.")

Or like how you're not supposed to eat the weird, little black nub at the bottom of the banana. ("I don't care if it's composed of the exact same stuff as the rest of the banana, that's so fucking gross 🤢")

Or like how you have to walk around ladders instead of under them ("Because otherwise you'll get bad luck, Derek!")

Or how, for a short time in history, a man wearing a singular earring on his left ear meant that he was gay for some reason. Or was it the right ear? ("Hey, listen, man, I didn't make these dumb rules!")

Or how you can't pick up a penny off the ground unless the face side is heads up ("Yes, it's another 'good luck, bad luck' thing. We actually have a lot of those, now that I think about it.")

Or how if someone far away sees you coming and holds the door open for you, you very specifically have to do a customary tiny wave or acknowledging nod before doing a small little half trot-half jog that isn't too slow or too fast all the way to the door. ("Because you don't want to take up their time, but also you don't want them to think they've inconvenienced you. Yeah, no, I get that they already have, but you don't want THEM to know that.")

All the way up to things like the weird history of Coke Zero, even though Diet Coke is essentially the same thing. ("Oh, now see, that's actually pretty interesting. And by interesting, I mean dumb and terrible. See, in the 80's, Coke only ever marketed Diet Coke as a 'woman's drink', so when they finally decided to expand their demographic, they had to spend millions of dollars to undo their own conditioning because their women's only Diet Coke campaign had been so successful, it took decades for men to stop associating drinking diet soda with being gay or effeminate.")

Just so Derek can finally know what it feels like to be on the other end of "common sense."

[meanbossart]

So like healing isn't linear. Do you think there are times when Astarion is like "I can't do it tonight" in the middle od the deed? I do wonder what would be Drow's reaction? We know he can be overprotective. Would he, groundlessly, blame himself? I feel like in the latest chapters of ANE he made some progress with understanding Astarion.

On the other hand I feel like Astarion would be, unreasonably, angry at himself for not being able to move on and leave his past behind. "Cazador is gone, I gave myself time. Trauma, what else do you want?"

I would love to hear your opinion!

Oh yeah, absolutely there are times where he isn't feeling it. Admittedly I'm a little less interested in exploring the internal workings of healing from this kind of traumatic sexual fatigue than I am in exploring the way other people can accidentally make it about themselves, doubt your agency because of your past experiences, and continually focus on your trauma on your behalf under the guise of helping. Healing is a complex, personal experience that is practically impossible to document in a linear or clear fashion - the way other people react to it, on the other hand, is often painfully predictable.

Astarion is a grown man who wants to move on with his life. Sometimes, he probably feels overly sexual and privately needs to dwell on the guilt associated with that. Sometimes he isn't in the mood but he does it anyway for x and y reasons. Sometimes he stagnates and sometimes he tries new things that don't work, or that he regrets later. The important part is that these are decisions and "risks" he decides to take for himself. He knows that he can say no; he knows that if he says no, whatever is happening will stop. To him, that's the biggest perk about being with someone you trust - you can venture freely into the terrible and the painful and know nothing bad is actually going to happen, besides for maybe a weird-feeling type of week or a few nights of restless sleep.

Whether you think this is good or bad practice, it is what he wants to do as someone who is in a rush to enjoy things again.

DU drow is the one who is constantly concerning himself with his state of mind and his ability to make these kinds of choices. Getting into his head about whether or not Astarion feels pressured to fulfill his needs to the point where he avoids displaying any amount of sexuality around him for a time, where he himself turns Astarion's advances down not because he doesn't want to have sex - but because he doesn't trust him to make these choices in earnest. In this context, he is looking at Astarion and seeing a profoundly damaged man in need of rescue and guidance; while Astarion looks back at him wondering where this practically-weaned-yesterday doofus got the idea that he's got a radioactive dick. Once again, whether or not you believe that what Astarion is doing is healthy, the point is that DU drow has absolutely no authority in this area.

Like you pointed out, this is something that they slowly come to resolve. It will no doubt pop up as an issue again throughout their lives but the situation does improve. At the same time that Astarion will probably go through phases of dealing with his own business differently and communicate that to his partner to varying degrees of consistency or success - the important thing is that the other guy in the room stops acting like this is something he can do anything about but listen.

[sparkle-fiend]

Steve loves Valentine’s Day.

It’s a holiday celebrating love and romance; the whole point is to shower someone with affection (and hopefully get laid at the end of the night). What’s not to like about that?

With girls, Valentine’s was easy. Big box of chocolates, a dozen red roses, dinner at a fancy restaurant (and maybe a little jewelry or something - depending on how much he likes her). A sweet card, for sure.

Now that he’s dating Eddie, Valentine’s Day presents more of a… challenge. 

“Ugh, what am I gonna do Rob? We walked through the greeting card aisle at Melvald’s and he pretended to puke. He doesn’t want flowers or chocolate or anything.”

He knows he’s whining. He’s slumped dramatically in the single office chair in the Family Video breakroom, spinning slowly (like a pathetic little rotisserie chicken, according to Robin). He’s probably got about five more minutes before Robin snaps.

“Why do you have to do anything? You know Valentine’s Day isn’t even a real holiday – it’s just an excuse to get people to spend money on crap they don’t need…”

“Oh my god, stop! You sound just like Eddie. Valentine's isn't about spending money, it's about... showing people that you love them. Making them feel happy and appreciated and special. It’s about celebrating love.”

Robin tilts her head and her face goes a little soft, the way it does when he says something she wasn't expecting (but in a good way, not like when he says something so dumb that her body collapses and she says he's obliterated her will to live). 

"That’s actually surprisingly sweet Steve. Okay….” she sighs and looks up at the ceiling as she thinks. “Maybe... you could try making something? He liked those cookies you baked for movie night." 

“Those cookies were terrible.” Practically inedible. Eddie was the only person that ate more than one. (Which was either a true declaration of love in and of itself, or proof that Eddie will eat literally anything when he's stoned.) 

"I don't know, Eddie is pretty easy to please. You could give him like... a cool rock, and he would probably love it." 

Steve sits upright so fast he nearly overturns the chair. "Robin, you're a genius!!" 

She blinks at him. "Clearly. But also, why exactly?" 

Eddie is like a crow. He's forever picking up little odds and ends - cool rocks, stickers, shiny bits of paper. At Christmas, he collected the bows off of everyone's presents. Sometimes, he incorporates the stuff he finds into little props and models for his D&D games, but other times he just keeps it. He's got a whole drawer devoted to his little 'hoard', as he calls it. 

Steve explains all this to Robin, who just shakes her head in bemusement. "He is so weird," she says fondly. 

"Yeah," Steve agrees. He would have recoiled from that oddity in high school - would have been worried what other people would think. Scared they would judge him for associating with someone like that. 

He doesn’t give a shit, these days. He sees the way Eddie lights up with happiness at the smallest things, so full of excitement and passion, and it just makes him smile. He feels grateful that he gets to bask in that reflected joy, like a flower soaking up the sun.

Valentines is two weeks away, which gives Steve plenty of time to collect a bounty of little treasures. He hits the pawn shop, the thrift store - he even drives out to the weird antique shop about an hour out of town, which looks like a normal house on the outside and is crammed to the rafters with knick-knacks and bric-a-brac when you walk inside. 

He also trawls the quarry, the lake, and the woods behind his house. It's tough, because usually Eddie's little treasures just look like trash to Steve. He's not a very creative person himself, but he tries hard to see the world the way his boyfriend would. 

If that means Steve finds himself debating for over half an hour on which rock is more appealing, well – it will all be worth it in the end.

———

Steve stays over at Eddie's, the night before Valentines. (At this point, he spends more time at the Munson's house than he does at his own.) 

He wakes up early, slipping out of bed with slow, careful movements. As usual, Eddie rolls over with a faint grumble, bundling himself into a burrito of blankets to compensate for the void of warmth left by Steve's absence. 

He moves down the hall, avoiding each creaky board like it's a booby trap in the Temple of Doom, until he reaches the kitchen - which is where Steve breaks routine. He sneaks out the back door and races across the driveway in his boxers, hopping and cursing as the frigid gravel stings his bare feet. 

His carefully cultivated stash of gifts is in the glove compartment of the BMW. He already has a plan for which one will be first, so he grabs it and closes the door (slowly, slowly - the sound of Steve moving around the house is familiar, but a car door slamming in the driveway at this time of morning would wake Eddie for sure). 

The first gift is a blue jay feather he found in the woods, perfect and clean with vivid blue and black stripes. He tucks it carefully under the edge of the ash tray that sits on the porch railing, before slipping back inside to start breakfast.

Thirty minutes later Eddie appears, drawn by the warm smell of coffee and the sound of bacon popping in the pan. 

He drapes himself over Steve's back and murmurs, "G'mornin," sleepily into the shell of his ear, the way he does every morning after Steve spends the night. This time, Steve balances his spatula on the edge of the pan and turns so that he can wrap his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. 

He presses a cheerful kiss to the corner of Eddie's mouth and says, "Happy Valentine’s Day." 

Eddie groans dramatically and throws his head back, the rest of his bodyweight following. If Steve didn't have a firm grip around his waist, he would have toppled over backward; the move turns into an awkward backbend instead. 

"Stevie please, it's too early for that crap. Wait until I've had my coffee at least." 

Steve grins. He releases his hold just long enough for Eddie to yelp and scrabble for balance before catching him and pulling him close again. 

"Jesus Christ," Eddie gasps. 

"Careful," Steve says with a smug grin, laughing when Eddie shoves him in the chest and pulls away.

They eat breakfast together, and then Steve follows Eddie outside for his morning cigarette. 

"Holy shit, look at this!" Eddie turns to Steve with the blue jay feather pinched between his fingers, grinning with delight. He hasn't brushed his hair yet and he's got a smear of bacon grease on his cheek, but he's so beautiful in that moment - so full of joy it shines out of him, like a lighthouse.

Just because he found a feather. Steve smiles back, helplessly besotted. "Pretty cool." 

Eddie twirls the feather between his fingers before tucking it behind his ear. “That’s a sign that today is gonna be a good day.”

Steve presses his mouth to the edge of his coffee cup to hide his expression. “Yeah, I think so too.”

———

Eddie rolls into the Family Video parking lot around 2 in the afternoon to visit before his band practice. He strolls inside and leans against the counter, plonking a silver wrapped Hershey kiss down in front of Steve. 

“Kiss for a kiss?” he says, with a smarmy grin. Steve rolls his eyes, but he checks to make sure they’re alone in the store before swooping forward for a quick peck on the lips.

“I got you something too,” he says.

“Oh?” Eddie raises one eyebrow, managing to look both curious and skeptical. “Please tell me it’s not a cheesy greeting card.”

Steve flips him the bird before reaching into his pocket. He pulls the keychain out and lets it dangle from one finger in front of Eddie’s face.

His boyfriend’s immediate reaction is to wrinkle his nose in disgust. The keychain is a garish red plastic heart, definitely the antithesis of Eddie’s usual metalhead vibe.

But it’s also sparkly. 

Steve’s lips curl into a satisfied smirk as Eddie takes the keychain from him, reluctantly admiring the way light sparks off the flakes of holographic glitter embedded in the plastic. The cheap little thing shimmers like a ruby in the afternoon sun.

“Some kid dropped it. They never came back, so it’s yours if you want it.” (That’s technically true, although Steve has been holding on to it for nearly a month now, waiting for today.)

“Oh, well then.” Eddie stuffs the keychain into his pocket. “Finders keepers, losers weepers!” He sticks his tongue out, eyes wide and exaggerated – then leans across the counter and licks Steve’s nose.

“Gross!” Steve sputters with laughter. He scrubs at his face and looks up just in time to see Eddie wave jauntily on his way out the door, a second Hershey kiss left sitting on the counter in his wake.

———

After Steve's shift is over, he runs home for a quick shower and a change of clothes before meeting Eddie at the diner. 

He did his best to talk his boyfriend into going on a proper date, but the most he could get Eddie to agree to was milkshakes and a movie (my choice Stevie, not some lame romance).

Steve walks into the diner and spots Eddie at the back booth. He saunters over and sets the third present onto the sticky Formica table with a click. It's a small golden gear, nearly paper-thin. 

"Check it out. Found this in the parking lot." 

(That's a lie. Steve carefully picked apart a broken old watch from the thrift shop in order to extract a handful of the little gears.)

"Hey, cool! I bet I could use this in the model I'm working on." Eddie pulls the pack of cigarettes out of his coat pocket and drops the gear inside for safe keeping. 

"What's the model for?" Steve asks.

Eddie launches into an animated explanation of the character he's creating for a new Hellfire campaign - a sun-worshiping priest that intends to trick the party into becoming a ritual sacrifice. 

"... and that gear thing would look pretty good on the top of his staff." 

Steve doesn't understand much of what Eddie's saying, but he loves the way his boyfriend talks with his whole body, moving his hands and shoulders and head along with the words. He rests his chin in his hand and lets Eddie ramble until the milkshakes arrive, smiling like a dope the whole time.

Eddie has no concept of time, so Steve is in charge of making sure they finish their milkshakes and leave the diner in time to make it to the movie. As Eddie slides into the passenger seat of the BMW, he says, “Hey – you think we have enough time to stop by the Circle K?”

Steve turns in his seat as he reverses out of the parking lot. "What do you need at the Circle K?" 

"Snacks! You can't go to a movie without provisions Stevie! And don't say we can buy some at the concessions stand, because the prices they charge are ridiculous."

“Well if we stop now, we’ll be late – but I’ve got some Milk Duds and trail mix…” Steve doesn’t realize what’s happening until it’s too late. Eddie pops open the glove compartment in his search for snacks, revealing Steve’s little stash of gifts. 

Eddie frowns in confusion. “What the hell?” He rifles through the pile as Steve groans.

“Shit. You weren’t supposed to see those yet.”

“What is all this?” Eddie picks up a ring, turning it over in his hands. It's a bulky silver biker ring, like the ones Eddie wears every day - only this one is shaped like a bat with tiny ruby eyes. Steve is particularly proud of that one, discovered in a box of assorted rings at the pawn shop.

Steve gnaws at his lip and runs a hand through his hair, ruining all his careful styling. "I know you hate Valentines, but I wanted to do something. Just… to show you how much I love you. So instead of the cards and flowers and stuff, I tried to find little things you might actually like. For your, you know… your 'dragon hoard' or whatever you call it."

"So the keychain and the gear..."

"And the feather."

Eddie's eyebrow twitches. He stares at the contents of the glove compartment; at the water smoothed stone from the lake and the multicolored twist of ribbon, the vivid green marble and the tiny mother of pearl locket. He looks down at the ring still clutched in his hand, and blinks rapidly. 

Steve glances nervously between Eddie and the road, hands tight on the steering wheel. He's disappointed that the surprise has been ruined, but more concerned about Eddie's reaction. He'd expected the other boy to laugh or tease him, not this... whatever this is. 

Finally, Eddie clears his throat roughly and speaks. "Actually, can we just head back to my place? I've got something I wanna show you, and I don't think I can wait through the movie." 

“Uh… sure.”

Steve's brain is buzzing as he takes a left instead of a right at the intersection. He's worked himself into a bit of a panic by the time they pull into the Munson's driveway. "Eddie, I..." 

Eddie interrupts him, practically throwing himself across the center console as he drags Steve into a fierce kiss. By the time Eddie lets him go, Steve is panting. "Wha...?" 

"Wait here," Eddie says with a wild grin. He presses Steve back into the seat for emphasis. "Don't move." 

He takes the steps up the porch two at a time and fumbles with his key to get inside as Steve watches in a daze. He has no idea what's going on. 

After a few minutes, Eddie returns to the door. He's pulled on a t-shirt with a faux tuxedo printed on the front, and he's standing straight backed in the doorway with a towel over his arm, like some kind of maître d’. He waves grandly toward Steve, beckoning him toward the house. 

Steve snorts with laughter as he climbs out of the BMW. “What are you doing?” 

"This way sir," Eddie replies in a terrible attempt at a posh English accent. Steve shakes his head, thoroughly bewildered and increasingly amused. 

He walks past Eddie through the doorway and freezes in surprise.

The living room has been transformed. Eddie set up the gaming table in the middle of the room – set with a crisp white tablecloth, the Munson’s best dishes, and a vase full of red roses sitting in the center of the table, flanked by two candles. More candles twinkle softly from the coffee table, the end tables - even on top of the tv. 

"Eddie..." Steve whispers in awe. "What is this?" 

"Well, ah... I kind of jumped the gun a little. It’s supposed to be a candlelight dinner. If we'd gone to the movie, Wayne would have had time to get all the food set up. But it won’t take long, I already cooked everything. Just gotta heat it up."

Steve’s vision goes watery, smearing the candlelight into one big blur as tears fill his eyes. He blinks hard to clear them. “I thought you hated all this stuff.”

Eddie shrugs and rubs the back of his neck nervously. “Well, yeah I do. But you love it. So I wanted to surprise you.”

Steve grips his boyfriend by the front of his ridiculous t-shirt and pulls him into a bone-cracking hug, before pulling back just far enough to kiss the breath from him. 

In a pause between kisses, Steve rests his forehead against Eddie’s and laughs a little breathlessly. “What made you change your mind about the movie?”

Eddie bites his lips, already swollen from kisses. Steve can’t tear his eyes away.

“I don’t know. When I saw all that stuff you collected for me…” he clears his throat, staring at Steve with wide dark eyes. “I’m… I know I’m weird. I’ve known that my whole life. I never thought I would find anyone that would tolerate me, let alone… celebrate me like that.”

He kisses Steve again, sweet and soft. “I couldn’t sit and wait for two hours after that. I had to get you home and show you how much I love you.”

“I love you too.” Steve smiles against Eddie’s mouth. “You know… I’m not really hungry yet.”

“Oh yeah?”

Steve trails his hands down Eddie’s chest, hooking his fingers into the belt loops of his jeans and tugging. “Mm-hmm. I think we need to work up an appetite first.”

Eddie laughs in delight. “Sounds like a good idea. You know how much I like dessert before dinner.”

A happy Valentine’s Day indeed.

[mangalho]

Ex-warbot OC

They don’t have names yet.

The two bots with the scary faces were specifically made for war, and now that it’s over, they still maintained their original ‘warface’ even though it has stigma associated to it. Many robots changed their faceplates post-war, as it made it easier to find jobs and not get into unnecessary conflict.

The sleeker looking guy used to be in their company, though he wasn’t made in the same factory as them; he isn’t their ’batch-mate’.

After the war he completely modified his frame, and now has an idol career. He desperately wats to erase his past, as people (and robots alike) will respond better to a ‘new’ and untainted idol.

The two warface bots are “brother and sister” and they do odd jobs here and there to make ends meet and to be able to afford things they want. Rich people hire them as bouncers a lot since they are a symbol of terrible times. Sometimes they earn 15k in one night for just one gig it’s crazy. They both really love clothes since it distances them from their body’s original purpose while simultaneously not erasing their past. Also they look cute and cool!

The idol bot once meets the warfaces by chance in the street and pretends he doesn’t know them AGAHAKALAK I think he’s insane… completely erasing your past and the person you were is psychopathic to me idk. Anyway

There arent a lot of warfaces going around anymore. since they either died during the war or changed their frames. Pre-war bots were re-fitted during the conflicts and just had to go back to their former unweaponized frames after it was all over so they’re fine.  All of these robots can download information and i want that type of learning to mostly disappear if its deleted, but if they learn things like we do or experience real events, those memories and skills can’t really truly be erased; if they do try erasing them, they will still remember them, just not with HD video clarity, which brings them immense suffering sometimes. “How to people live like this?!” Well buddy it sucks idk we all cope

Newly minted robots are wack because they don’t exactly have a ‘soul’ yet they just do things they’re supposed to do, but after some time, all of them actually develop real awareness and shit… my war bots had like a 78% chance of dying everyday when they were activated, but they survived and attained sentience at like one year post birth and they wised up rly fast after that. They remember their first year, but they describe it as a ‘weird haze’

These robots feel pain so they wont like dive into a hole or damage themselves too much. Self preservation means longer-lived machines which means less repair costs and less human lives on the line as well.. slay !!!

While the conflicts went on, most robots achieved sentience and decided to stop fighting so there was like a robots rights movement and eventually the war stopped altogether and now the robots have a salary and a normal life mostly. They arent organics, so they need other things. They are solar powered and need oil sometimes and also they need new nanomachines once in a while like we need vaccines. Get your boosters… its not just tetanus and coronavirus anymore now they gotta think about like..the trojan horse 9000

I want them to have this aversion to organic things dying bc they are universally gross. Like they dont like seeing living-machines die either but a rat being squished by a car is also gross!

There are probably some tensions between humans and robots but like i kinda get it bc i wouldnt mess with a guy who has like lead pipes for arms. also most robots ARE normal but some are insane idk 🙆‍♀️🤷‍♀️ just  like people are.

 mine are normal tho they’re just vibing 💖🗣🤙

[fangirltothefullest]

Okay but now what if how you designed Remus but in as many words as you want, because I'm loving these design breakdowns

HELL YEAH!

Remus to me is full of chaos but he is also the antithesis of Roman with similar qualities but a total lack of self consciousness or bashfulness. He is freedom and he gives no shits.

Inspiration 1: Mad Madam Mim

I start with a disney character full of chaos and I am inspired by mad Madam Mim because she is wild and chaotic and i absolutely love how fun she is as a villain and the most important thing for me is that Remus is fun. He's bonkers and has terrible ideas but he's also harmless in terms of reality. He's like an annoying little brother that wants to show you the Weird Gunk he found in the trash.

Inspiration 2: Snidley Whiplash (or Dick Dastardly)

Remus to me is a guy who knows a lot of things and he's actually really clever but he wants to BE a villain like Snidley Whiplash or Dick Dastardly, including the moustache. He wants to tie people to train tracks because it's fun. His personality is "I found the dynamite and the roller skates! :D"

Inspiration 3: Wile E Coyote and looney tunes as a concept

If Remus is anything it's a creature that can be stabbed in the eye and come back fine. It's a person who can make acme-like contraptions that do not work and that's ok. He is, if nothing else, Wile E Coyote and he is having the time of his life. He should therefore have hair that is a littler wild and crazy and untamable like Wile E's tail.

Inspiration 3: Royal villains

We will look at Galavant and also OUaT again!

There's nothing quite as detailed in costume as evil royal villains. They always seem to be the most extravagant or at least have all the buckles and things and Remus has an outfit just the same. Like Roman I want his royalty to show with his clothes but unlike Roman I want Remus to look way less put together. More a culmination of his clothes he chooses to wear but only because he HAS to wear something so he's going to show skin.

Particularly though the one I associate with Remus is Captain Hook from Once Upon a Time.

Inspiration 4: Captain Hook / Pirate aesthetics

Roguish, half-opened shirt, details, dressed fancy, swashbuckling. Remus would make a great pirate because he has the swagger and charm of a drunken man sailing a boat with a pet giant octopus he calls Lil Pussy.

Speaking of octopus...

Inspiration 5: Kraken and hentai

He has an octopus on his belt and he deserves tentacles for a pirate feel but also for fuckin. Cause he's a raunchy bastard. Anything taboo is something he wants to think about.

Inspiration 6: Punk aesthetic

What easier way top buck against the norms than to embrace punk vibes? Jewelry, upside-down crosses, I don't like going overboard with it but I like giving him some. Fingerless gloves, chokers with spikes, those kinds of things work well for his "I am everything your religious grandmother hates, embrace it". His outfits that aren't standard could look like he made them himself or found them in the garbage and went "awesome!"

Inspiration 7: Weapon Master

Remus likes to hit things with his mace and while Roman has his sword, I imagine Remus is an expert at weapons or at least likes to use them so even if I am going to dress him up nice I want a weapon nearby somewhere.

Things that are a must:

So many details, Remus will not leave your eyeballs alone. If you think Roman has details nope, Remus wants your eyes to bleed with them.

Remus should have longer hair than Roman, wilder bangs and wilder curls. Shorter hair is fine but a ponytail is even more fun. Like the tie holding it'll break at any moment.

Weapons galore, arm this baby at every opportunity. Likewise, scars are acceptable but it's ok if they disappear at random because chaos loves chaos.

If Remus has his main garb off he should be showing skin to the best of his abilities and his collar should drape down wider than normal because let that man be a slut.

Tentacles should be numerous when shown and they should have a mind of their own doing whatever they want.

If Roman wouldn't wear it, Remus would. If Roman wouldn't think it, Remus would, and if Roman would be disgusted, Remus would love it.

Remus should have annoying little brother vibes.

Any non-standard outfits should look like he cobbled them together with duct tape and chewing gum.

So I came to this:

[mdhwrites]

How Terrible of a Parent is Odalia?

TL:DR: If we ignore narrative bias, Odalia is at best a little bit of a helicopter parent and nothing else. Her being a bad person actually doesn't translate to her being a bad parent and we actually have very little evidence that she is actually even that controlling.

So I want to start with saying that this isn't about whether Odalia is or isn't a good person. She is not. The show is cartoonishly evil with her... But in weird ways for their goals. Her most evil acts actually have little to nothing to do with parenting. Letting the rest of the Isles die for the ascension of her family? Technically not the worst parenting move in the world from a purely literal perspective of trying to provide the best future for your kid. Trying to murder Luz? Well, she is the protege of the most wanted criminal in the entire Isles. I can't imagine why Odalia might not want her child associating with her. Weird concept, I know.

And that's actually something to keep in mind with what is seen as her biggest crimes: Kicking out Willow and getting Gus, Willow and Luz expelled. If we shift perspective a little... Odalia is just right. They are bad influences who are negatively impacting her daughter's ability to learn and better herself. Why would she want Amity to continue spending time with them?

Yes, this includes tiny Willow. The ONE thing we see of the two of them as friends is them SKIPPING CLASS and hiding from the instructor, only for Willow to fail, get them attacked by animals and then in trouble. I'm sorry but that doesn't sound like a good thing to me. Even just trolling around the market and pranking some people in your own free time is better, which is the worst thing we ever see Boscha do in this sort of regard. Sure, Boscha is a bully but not to an extreme level (King makes a fucking point of how tame she is) and doesn't get in the way of things like school or work for either herself or Amity. For what Odalia cares about, which is Amity improving herself to have a better shot at a good future, which is not a bad thing to want for your daughter, it's what Camila wants by sending Luz to Summer Camp, why would she condemn Boscha instead of the one playing Hookie?

Then we get the fact that Dana literally had a list of crimes stated out for why Luz was a menace since joining Hexside. If we shift the perspective to be that seeing the photo made Odalia go "Well, there's one bad influence, her grades are slipping and I did hear that something happened during Grom... I'm gonna look into this," rather than "I MUST CRUSH THESE PEOPLE WHO MAKE MY DAUGHTER SMILE!" then her actions seem pretty justifiable. I mean, before Luz even joined the school, her and Gus were skipping class and causing massive property damage. She was cheating on Willow's assignment and breaking in. The Grom one is bullshit but Luz is genuinely a menace. Not a Spider-Man, J. Jonah menace but genuinely causing problems and damage. And again: In active connection with the most wanted, WILD WITCH, in the ISLES. With that, Odalia almost looks like the only sane person here.

Now mind you, main character bias, the fact that we know Eda is barely a criminal, etc. like that but Odalia doesn't have any of that. By the rules of her society, you know like Camila had to act from Luz threatening to vandalize her school with fireworks and assaulting her principal with a wild snake, she has every right to think Luz is bad. To think Luz is the worst possible person for her daughter to spend time with. Sure, she smiles... Now... But what about when life catches up? Breaking the rules is fun after all but there are consequences, at least if you're not Luz.

But what about her general parenting style? She places crushingly harsh restrictions on Amity after all! Well... No?

Here are her demands: I want you to keep your grades up but if you help me, I will let you dropping to being a B student slide with no further punishments.

Please wear this necklace so I can talk to you when I need to, much like texting a cellphone would do.

Please aim for an Ivy League school because I believe you are good enough for that and I will give you the support to reach that height.

I would like your hair to be green.

I mean... These all sound... good? Now yes, pushed to the extreme they can be bad. If there is no leeway, like if Odalia forced Amity to spend every second studying, threatened to disown her if she didn't get into the EC and demanded 100s on every test then yeah, she'd genuinely be abusive but she's not. Amity appears to have PLENTY of free time where she is entirely unmonitored and allowed to do as she pleases. This isn't even just post Escaping Expulsion. She spends time just hanging out with Boscha after all. She's able to run out into the woods to angst about Grom coming up. She goes to the Knee to train but that's without any supervision besides the twins who are known troublemakers (pin that in the back of your head btw). Even the necklace isn't like full control over her. It never overrides her body or mind. It's literally just sending messages. That's nothing, especially for a fantasy mom? Oh my god could that necklace be way fucking worse. When forcing her to dye her hair green, but not entirely so Amity must have some amount of say as to the styling of it or else her front half star wouldn't be allowed to exist, is the worst thing she's actually doing with evidence to back it... That's pretty fucking tame. It's like telling your kid "No, you're not allowed to have giant chains on your pants because they make you look like a thug." Oh and on the disown element? Amity literally tries to sabotage her mother's company and attack her and Odalia's reaction is just to go "Yep, that Luz girl sure is a menace, with a literal bounty, but you're still my daughter." That is the patience of a god damned saint right there.

And hey, what about the twins? They're Odalia's kids too. They don't fear Odalia though. She is neither of theirs greatest fear. In fact, they'd rather be with her than alone, because being alone is at least Edric's greatest fear. If she's as monstrous as the fandom likes to say, that should not be the case. Also, they do skip classes like Willow made Amity. We know this because Amity literally states it in her diary with frustration that no one does anything about it. That implies she tried getting people to do it. So why didn't Odalia crack down on them? Do they do things for as deals to get away with their freedom like Amity helping with the Abomaton show? I mean, same episode we meet them, they show up because Odalia told them to bring Amity her lunch because she forgot about it. Odalia cares enough that she'll see her daughter forgot her food, doesn't have to ask Amity where she is but instead keeps enough of an ear on her daughter's life to know where she is, which avoids some amount of claims of neglect, and sends Edric and Emira to the library. This could be read as not wanting to bother with it but just as easily it could be "Sweet, an excuse to force my trouble making twins to go to the library where they might actually study for once if Amity forces them to." It could also be that because she runs everything about Blight Industries besides R&D, she was just too busy, which is not the greatest sin in the world despite what kid's movies will tell you.

So... Why is Odalia labeled the worst parent ever? Why is she made out to be as abusive as Belos, who will literally kill Hunter if he's displeased enough, when there's so little evidence for it? Because I wouldn't bother with this sort of blog if not for the claims the fandom likes to make. The exact same claims that led to my first ever TOH blog that was about the contradictions in how people talked about Odalia post S1 and literally every piece of evidence we had. Is she flawless? God no. But this is a show that criticizes Camila for being too oppressive as a parent.

MAYBE it's a little misguided on what parenting actually is and you should question how it portrays its parents. See you next tale.

======+++++======

Oh, small additional edit to expand briefly on Clouds on the Horizon: Her kids literally attempt terrorism and her response is to ground them. Just. Ground them. With one person keeping an eye on them. Sure a trained guard but they just tried to commit TERRORISM.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[seat-safety-switch]

Why don't people ride public transit more often? There are many excuses provided, but I think the big one is ownership. When someone else owns the bus, it is hard to feel pride about it. Someone else takes it to the mechanic. Someone else washes it. Someone else waits for a tow truck when they climb on the throttle a little too hard on the interstate and blow up the injection pump.

Wait, I hear you say, surely everyone owns the bus? Every single taxpayer owns a fractional share of the public transit infrastructure, so everyone can be proud of what we made as a group. You're certainly right, but nobody is proud of the power lines, or all the pee we clean up before it hits the river. Shareholding isn't thing-holding: just ask all the folks who own a teeny tiny bit of Microsoft, but can't point to the specific chunk of the building they're responsible for. We're weird that way, us apes.

Don't worry. Like I told my first boss, I don't like to bring problems to you, only solutions. Have you ever been by one of those charity things where you can get your name on a brick, or a bench, if you donate? I think they should do the same thing about buses. Nobody stirs the imagination about ol' #7345, even if it does have a page all to itself on the transit-aficionados wiki. If it has a name – a real citizen, just like you! – things are different. What is their life like? Maybe they're riding on this bus, in secret? They could be any of these people. An instant celebrity, immortalized by some letters painted on the side of a white box with wheels.

Sure, there are some gaps in this plan. Some people won't want to have their names associated with a bus, because their lives are terrible and sad and very small. We don't really have enough buses to give each contributor one. And some will get downright weird about it, demanding to ride only on "their" bus.

I, too, have a solution for this: make all the buses much smaller, roughly Power Wheels-sized, and have them seat only one person at a time. Then we'll just put them on a big track, like at bumper cars, and let everyone go hog wild on each other on their way to work. I just so happen to have recently taken delivery of a large quantity of bumper cars from a reputable former amusement park...

[desperateknot]

A bit cringy, but I will do it again.

Swap Ishqueg/LCB Queequeg AU.

Seven Assoc. South Section 4 ID uptie story:

Heathcliff: So, you see, if it was the doing of a high level member of a Finger, there is nothing we can do. A shame, really, since they promised to pay so much for the post-contract management...Hey are you even listening?

The other child doesn't even lift her face from the paper to respond.

She took another sip of the coffee, totally absorbed by the details of this new case.

She indeed didn't hear a word of what her senior said.

Queequeg: Hmm no.

She spoke slowly, but with confidence.

Queequeg: Not the Middle. This one. Copy cat.

A rare smile formed at the corner of her lips. It is truly unusual for her to be in such high spirit.

Heathcliff: What? Are you sure?

Queequeg: Sure.

Queequeg: Get uniform. We go now.

Queequeg: Get him before the Middle...For his sake too.

Confused and a bit angry, but the other child did oblige.

He decided to have faith in her deduction, after all, when the Director of South Section 6 transferred her to their department, she said.

Outis: She might be frugal with her words, but do heed them. Her insight will undoubtedly prove to be valuable.

It's totally not because he wants that bonus, no.

Either way, he believes there must be a good reason for someone like her to be accepted among their ranks.

Queequeg: Lucky you.

The culprit: Mocking me now? You caught me. What is lucky about that?

Indeed. In contrast to this child's, the body of the man at the other end of her sword has not even a speck of tattoo. He is really not a member of the Middle.

Queequeg: The Middle's retribution would not have been...

With a simple motion, she pierced her sword through the man's stomach.

Queequeg: So swift and merciful.

Queequeg: Impersonating Big Brother. Grave sin.

The child let out a long sigh. And the melancholy returned to her again.

She could never truly escape them. The Middle never forgets.

However, if her knowledge about them could be of use, she would not hesitate to leverage it to live her new life.

That is the least she could do. That is the least she could have done to fulfill her end of the promise made under the setting sun.

Heathcliff: Uh...so there seems to be a really good restaurant near here-

Queequeg: No. I go back now.

Heathcliff: Huh? Aren't you hungry?

It seems like the other child's attempt at consolation flew right over his junior's head.

Queequeg: Miss Faust's tea already. Coffee...yucky.

Personal notes:

The anatomy here is kind of...atrocious. At first, I even got her eye colour, which I hastily fixed in this version. Well, my anatomy from newer pieces is still terrible, but not as terrible, I guess.

You may notice that I am not a native English speaker, so the way I phrased things and wrote things is a bit weird. I'm not good at writing in my native tongue either. I say I'm bilingual, but I'm actually just illiterate in two different languages.

This is not my proudest work, but I do still like the idea a lot.

I first thought of the idea of Seven Association Fixer Queequeg because I want to give her glasses, as I like to do with every of my favourite characters, but then I realised she would probably be good at investigating crimes (like murders) because she did some before? Especially crimes related to the Fingers. Her personal experiences would be helpful, I think.

[doberbutts]

Hi jaz! I know u dont post docking/cropping disc horse on ur blog so if ur ok with it i was hoping u'd be ok answering this privately. Im really really not looking for discourse i was just very curious on what your particular stance on docking/cropping was. There are like obviously advantages and disadvantages for both that I've seen on your blog (from various opinions) but I've only irl met dob owners who are VERY against docking and cropping. Sometimes i see like u reblogged a post of a puppy with docked bandaged ears and i was like "huh! Interesting!" So way less of like a trying to start a discourse thing and more of like. Do you prefer docked or not docked? Do u support docking for any specific reason or not, like i know it used to be so they wouldn't get grabbed or something like that. Sorry if this sounds weird or super blunt im autistic and really terrible at wording things gently,, i've just seen both sides talked about and was wondering like what u thought as a professional dog trainer who's opinion I trust. Its more about personal curiosity than any discourse attempt but also also if u aren't comfortable discussing it at all then no pressure!! Like i dont wanna make u discuss something ur like "damn this is gonna be triggering to talk about" i never want to do that to u.

Thank u for taking the time to read :)

I'm actually fine posting this one publicly, only because I've stated it several times before on this very blog:

I do not give a fuck what other people do with their dogs as long as it is legal within their country and the owner is doing their best to be compassionate and fair to their animals. That can be interpreted whatever way anyone wants it to be.

In other words, someone who makes the decision to have their dog's ears cropped under the care of a vet or who purchases a dog with already cropped ears? Who gives a shit. Not me. Someone who takes a pair of scissors to their dog's ears at home? That person is an asshole and I hate them.

Very few doberman breeders in this country will allow a puppy to go home without cropping the ears or docking the tail. I am not sure if that puppy's breeder counts among them, as I have very little interest in purchasing a dog from her and thus don't know much about that part of her program. The pedigrees are simply not what I feel holds the future of the breed in terms of efforts for longevity combined with working ability, so I simply look elsewhere.

It is worth mentioning that the two fully natural dogs I have had, with one still living, come from countries in which the practice is either banned or so heavily restricted it may as well be banned. If someone is serious about wanting a fully natural doberman, most people will need to import.

I know of less than 10 breeders within this country who would allow the same thing, and of them I think I would only purchase from maybe 2 of them, and *both* of those people would only sell a fully natural dog to me because they know who I am. Someone unknown to them is still getting a cropped and docked dog.

For my own dogs, I avoid all potentially painful procedures that are not medically necessary. This does include cropping and docking, both of which are surgeries and all surgeries do have at least some pain associated with them. However I also don't spay or neuter my dogs for the same reason. When it becomes medically necessary, I will consider surgery. Until then, I will not. Thankfully, I was able to find someone who was willing to play ball with that, and that is why I have had a couple natural dogs. My dobermans prior to that were not, because I was not able to find someone, because they simply didn't exist in this country and I was a poor college kid unable to import.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

hey! so i hope this isn’t too creepy/nosey, but im a medical student and i was reading your possible fibromyalgia post and have a couple ideas lol. full important disclaimer that im only partly into my studies and im currently in the hypochondriac phase and also your summary was amazing but a real doc would ask way more questions, so please consult with an actual doc and take everything i say with a grain of salt! but like your symptoms aren’t nothing so i would def encourage finding a doc that you trust to do a proper exam and run some tests. also im operating under the assumption that you’re under 50 lol, bc if you’re over 50ish that’s a whole diff list of possible diagnoses.

so the thirst thing you’re talking about is often called polydipsia and is commonly associated with diabetes insipidus. that’s not the normal diabetes you think about, but happens when your body can’t regulate fluids in your body properly. id think of this if you’re also peeing a lot lol. your doc would have to do some kidney tests for that, which wouldn’t be part of the blood panel you mentioned. i’m a little skeptical that it’s hypokalemia bc that would’ve showed up on your blood test results. it could be transient electrolyte imbalances when you exercise so have one of those electrolyte packets when you exercise lol, bc it never hurts to try the easy solutions first, but chronic low potassium should’ve shown up? tho eating sweet potatoes has never hurt.

other things it could be is a lower motor neuron problem bc you mentioned twitches and muscle weakness which is typical for those. i def can’t say more without tests, but look into/get your doc to look into myasthenia gravis or LEMS and see if either of those fit. i think it’s possible bc these often also start with face/upper body symptoms, but would need way more questions/tests to know. it’s unlikely but could also be a glycogen storage disease called McArdle disease bc you describe a second wind thing when you exercise along with exercise intolerance. that’s super rare tho so it’s unlikely unless someone in your family has it/has similar symptoms.

also look into autoimmune stuff like rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, and sjögrens disease. i have way less useful info on that bc we haven’t gotten to it in class yet lol, but sjögrens looks promising bc you often get dry mouth with it, and it often goes along with rheumatoid arthritis which could explain the joint stuff possibly.

it’s also totally possible this is fibromyalgia, but i would be cautious diagnosing it bc it often comes with fatigue and cognitive stuff which you didn’t mention. it’s also more of a pain thing, and doesn’t include your twitches/dry mouth. it’s def possible, and it was def something i thought of when i saw your symptoms, but personally i would want to rule out other stuff first bc fibromyalgia is pretty vague and often a diagnosis of exclusion when other things don’t fit.

sorry for overwhelming you!! i just saw your post and was like hmmm those symptoms sound like Something. again take my advice with a big grain of salt, but i do really think it’s worth asking your doc about it and getting tests done, bc even if there aren’t cures there are def treatments to help with a bunch of this stuff. it doesn’t sound urgent, but at least from your post your symptoms don’t sound like run of the mill aches and pains. hope you figure stuff out!!

The problem with 'muscles don't work right ouchy and I am also tired' is that it's a symptom for Absolutely Everything That Can Be Wrong With The Body. Is it cancer? Is it a terrible diet and sleep schedule? Who knows!

The doctor ran a diabetes test with the blood panel and it came up negative, but I don't know if that checks for weird kinds of diabetes. (Diabetes does not run in my family until we get very old.) That test was memorable because I have stupid fragile veins that freak out and collapse at the mere sight of a needle so I had to get stabbed nine times, they didn't manage to get the middle reading at all, and in the end they resorted to just stabbing my thumb with one of those diabetes home blood test thingies and manually squeezing my blood out into a tube drop by drop.

I looked up polydipsia and I don't think I have that. I think I just prefer my mouth to be wetter than my salival glands want it to be. 🤷‍♀️I think most of my problems are probably not related to any rare chronic disease, but just run-of-the-mill autism making it hard to look after myself or properly notice and process my physical condition and adapt accordingly. I don't eat enough fresh foods because it's hard to plan with the very short timeframe to prepare and eat them in. I'm uncoordinated and damage my body a lot through overwork or using muscles incorrectly because autism makes it hard to keep track of those things. My mouth feels dry and my skin feels itchy and my muscles feel sore because that's what being autistic feels like. My sleep schedule is garbage because my executive function is garbage and even once I do manage to get myself into the bed I can't just "go to sleep", I pass out when I'm ready to pass out.

I'm not saying it's impossible for anything else to be going on, but I think the known factor is the simplest explanation here. It's 2:30pm and I've been putting off breakfast for five hours. Every time I go into the kitchen I get distracted by housework instead. I am very hungry. This is not behaviour that is conducive to a well-functioning body.

[femoso-seben]

Task Force 141 x Genz Gn Reader

Stupid idea I'm gonna call the series: Madness from Another Dimension (MAD)

TW: Mention of death

It was an accident. Honest to god a full-on accident. One minute you are walking the next fall from the sky. You hit the ground kinda hard and look around. A few people stared at you nearly as shocked as you. You were instantly grabbed and dragged into a building.

You looked around and immediately began to smile uncontrollably. Price was standing right in front of you and so was Soap. Your heart begins to accelerate with joy.

“Who the fuck are you?” They ask aggressively. “How did you get here?” You stare at them, and a nagging question hits you like a truck you had to know.

“Shepard is he Bold or has a mustache?” You yell frantically. He stared at you dumbfoundedly.

“Answer—”

“ANSWER ME! BOLD OR MUSTACHE??”

“Bold.”

“Is Gaz’s black?”

“How do you know him!” Price points his gun at you.

“IS HE?”

“Yes!”

“OH THANK GOD!” You shout collapsing onto your knees and laying on the ground your anxiety settling. “He’s bold this is fantastic!” You cheer.

“What happened if he had a mustache and Gaz wasn’t black?” Soap asked seeing your excitement in a weird light.

“I would have cried!” You state look at him.

“Why would a mustache make you cry?” Soap asked squatting down next to you so confused.

Your mouth falls open— you had so many things to say. Where do you begin? How do you begin? You didn’t want to die! You haven’t seen Ghost in person yet! You had to hear his sexy voice in person!

“Let’s start from the beginning.” You wave your hand around. Price folds his arm waiting.

“I was walking home and fell out of the sky and here I am.”

“Love that’s bullshit.”

“Mofo I locked eyes with a motherfucker, he saw me fall and go out there, he can confirm it!” You yell.

“Two, I think I’m from another dimension.” The two stared at you and then turned to each other.

“Your fucking crazy,” Price snaps grabbing you by the arm and dragging you to a room and shoving you inside. “You are under confinement by the military.”

“Well….” A few hours pass you and where terribly bored Soap took your phone without you even noticing. Your mind races around, how did you even get here?

The door opens and four people step inside. You felt yourself smirking and tried to swallow that smile. You look down, all of them are here. How fun.

“Hello, John Price, Johnny MacTavish, Kyle Garrick, and lastly the famous Ghost— Simon Riley—”

“How do you know our fucking names?” Ghost barks, you feel a shiver run down your spine, and smile uncontrollably again.

“Why are you smiling?”

“Nothing—” you hunch over cackling, you really need to get your nervous laughter under control.

“Tell is!” Price snaps his irritation visible.

“It’s just… your video game characters for me. from my world.”

“You are insane—”

“Kyle you joined the British army in 2014, Ghost joined after 9/11, Soap you met Price in 2014. Am I wrong?” You ask them getting serious, and they look at each other.

“Alright say you are from another world and we are video game characters to you, why does it matter if General Shepard has a mustache or not?” Soap folds his arms still hung up on your lash out.

“Simply I needed to know what timeline I was in.”

“Alright you are crazy,” Price growls storming up to you.

“The game you are part of is called Call of Duty, it’s a point-and-shoot game made for boys and men. It is all about war and the military. There was the original timeline and the reboot, I had to know which one.” Soap touched Price's shoulders and pulled him back. He was probably the best to ask questions.

“Alright, which timeline are we in?” Soap looks down on you, with cold eyes that turn you on.

“The reboot.”

“You preferred the reboot—”

“You all died in the original timeline.” Your words shut them up. They had this look of shock. They turn to each other, maybe you are crazy you seem crazy. They had nothing to say.

“What does this have to do with his mustache—”

“It’s how I associate things in my mind.” Soap slowly nods, a weird association but he got it. He also has particular associations, this was yours.

“One I ask if Gaz was black because in the other timeline he was white?”

“I WAS WHITE?” Gaz yells shock written all over his face. He looked shocked and bewildered. His mouth hung open and he looked pale.

“YOU WERE WHITE AND THAT TURN ME FOR THE LOOP!” You yell back feeling the hype again. “You were also a background character, not really important.”

“You were killed right in front of a helpless Soap.”

“I—”

“Ghost you were shot from point-blank range and your body burned, you were betrayed. I miss you, Roach.” Ghost reached his hand out— he needed clarification.

“Soap dies in your hands Price and you were severely injured. and implied died from it”

“Wait wait wait!” Soap interrupts “Let’s go back to Gaz, I watched him die?”

“Yes.” Soap turns to Gaz who looks back there is shock in their eyes. They seem to share a little moment together.

“You said I was betrayed, who?” Ghost asks next.

“You should sit down,” you comment. This Ghost was less trusting or maybe the same as the old Ghost but it’s best if he sits.

“I’m fine,”

“Ok.” You stand up and look him in the eyes, “You were with a comrade who’s not in this reboot called Roach. He was shot in the chest and you were shot in the head.” You explain calmly.

“By who?” Ghost demands again.

“General Shepard.” The room grew dead quiet. Ghost uncrossed his arms in shock.

“Also in that timeline, I think World War 3 happens.” You casually state.

“You think?” Soap snap.

“I never played the original one, but I remember my brother’s behavior after, he was mourning.”

“What happened to the general after he killed me?” Ghost quietly asked.

“Soap stabbed in in the left eye killing him.” Ghost nods his head, at least his killer died.

“You said Soap dies in my arms, how.”

“Severe blood loss acting getting majorly injured for the 3rd time.”

“Man, that’s…”

“Lame?” You finish Soap’s words he nods and looks a little disappointed.

“Price continues on the mission but at the end, he is implied to be dead. He died smoking a cigar.” Soap and Gaz chuckle and turn to Price.

“Who killed me?” Price asks.

“Russian terrorist.”

“Alright… this timeline who dies.” Soap folds his arms ready to hear the most gut-wrenching stuff.

“None of you died.” Soap let out a long sigh and turned to the others with a smile. Gaz nods his head in a sigh of relief. “But that shouldn’t make you too happy don’t get careless.”

“How do we believe you?” Price finally spoke up. You look around, At the start of the game, all of them have known each other for a long.

“I know you found American missiles with a terrorist group.” The air turns hostile, how do you know this?.”

“Your next stop is Amsterdam… say hi to Alejandro for me.” You smile and sit back down leaning back with a smile.

“If you know the future, tell us!”

“Go to Amsterdam I don’t remember the cartel but the next place after Amsterdam is Mexico. I’m telling the truth if you don’t believe me go. I can't give you all the information I don’t remember but I can tell you the major plot points. Come back when you're done.”

They turn back to you before leaving. As the door closes you collapse onto the bed and begin to giggle, you’re living the high life. Hot military men all around you. Ghost even talked to you that’s all that matters. They will be back, of course, they come back. They need to know more and you can enlighten them.

---------

1.2K

[chenoehi]

been thinking thoughts about KH3, MoM theories, etc a lot lately and this is my current brain rot:

All the Org XIII ancient keyblade wielders seem to treat Sora with either derision or kindness.

Eg. Marluxia and Luxord are friendly to Sora when they’re fading away. Marluxia thanks him and Luxord gives him a card to help him. Luxord was arguably never unkind to Sora prior but he was still antagonistic. Larxene isn’t kind per se but she shows a different side briefly and even smiles at him in the end, which for her actually seemed genuine.

Meanwhile you have Xigbar/Luxu and Demyx. Both of which are, frankly, bastards (affectionately! I love them your honor) to Sora in KH2, DDD, and KH3 even when they don’t need to be. Like, just thinking about Xigbar antagonizing the shit out of Sora in KH2/Radiant Garden and like Cardi B I’m wondering what was tf reason.

Based on what we know of him now, we can make educated guesses as to why he acts that way — his character file is illuminating and offers a lot of insight as to why he may feel differently about Sora, in addition to how nosey af we know Luxu is.

Demyx initially acts friendly but that’s really just him addressing Roxas imo which he makes pretty obvious by speaking directly to Roxas in KH2. And while he was objectively terrible to Roxas in terms of ditching him on missions in Days, he was never actually rude or unkind to him that I remember. For the most part he’s friendly with him both in game and in comics (that I know of). And he seemed alright with Xion.

Sora? Nah. He’s sarcastic as shit and while I love me some barbs, I tend to agree with the opinion that sarcasm is veiled contempt.

In fact contempt is the word I feel fits best for how both Xigbar and Demyx act/feel toward Sora.

But Riku? Demyx calls out to him in Remind and starts talking like they’re besties, he smiles at him softly — which is not at all weird or like his soft smile for Ienzo, no not similar in the slightest — and he gets up in his personal space, which, while not entirely unusual for Demyx, is in contrast to his interactions with Sora. It’s made a little creepy by the odd familiarity with which he’s treating someone he’s supposedly just met — and not even properly. (it’s actually crazy to me but rn I’m realizing the org members almost never introduce themselves to anyone lol Sora has no idea who these people are, like he literally doesn’t know what to call them so he just says “it’s org 13” bc names? what’s a name?)

And this single solitary interaction between Riku-Demyx for me is all just so strange because there’s few people on record in the games that Demyx is actually friendly toward. Xigbar, Ienzo, Roxas, maybe Xion, now Riku. That’s an ..interesting mix. I’m not counting Vexen because dude was finding every excuse to walk away from science boy in RG before getting sucked into the scheme via manipulation (and arguably his own ego, cause you know, he’s the only one who could pull it off bc no one would suspect him). He literally claims himself that he had no real friends outside of Xigbar and we know that association alone is 👀 At one point Axel speaks somewhat kindly of him, but then Demyx was saying how much quieter it was and how he’s glad the loudmouths were unalived in Castle Oblivion. Not very neighborly of him, but then again Axel and Zexion were friendly enough to bet on who’d die next only for Axel to axe (aheh) him so a lot of that backstabbing shit went on. So maybe he was cool with Axel but clearly not enough to be friends with him, even though he apparently wanted friends. (On another note, I still find it super odd Axel chose to defend Demyx to Roxas instead of piling on, we never even saw them interact. It’s weird.)

It’s unfortunate we don’t get to see Xigbar/Luxu interact with Riku on his own but, like with Demyx, I think he would be less bastardly than he is with Sora. Maybe it’s a keyblade master thing, maybe Riku’s just earned more respect, or maybe he just can’t stand that Sora is the ‘hero’ putting others (Riku et al) in danger constantly by needing to be rescued or protected — at least from Xigbar/Luxu’s perspective.

[mrooops]

well, finally, the solemn occasion for which we have gathered here. let's discuss why i personally think that roger waters is 101% bisexual.

perhaps, let's start in order. teenage hormones associated with sexual desire begin to appear during school. i like to let you imagine situations, so imagine yourself back in the shoes of a boy in the 50s. his mother intimidated him with her strong character; adults around him believe that even mentioning sex is the height of indecency. nobody talks about this at all. there are no girls, the school you study at is strictly for boys and, accordingly, your first conversations about any sexual contact are only with boys. this closed male space becomes the motif for Empty Spaces, where waters reveals his fear of women. he was afraid of them because he was afraid of any intimacy with them, he was afraid to even imagine it, as i said earlier, women for him are like wild predators wanting to tear him apart. guys will be a more familiar experience, less scary, oh, and you all know what often happened in english boys' schools, yes (i'm not talking about anything mega sexy, it's just about exploring your sexuality). in his situation, i can’t say for sure, but i’m more inclined to believe that at school he had nothing but shameful curiosity. all the same, he was terribly pressed and everyone humiliated him. it’s unlikely that he would have even done something like that then.

let's move on. in general, let's talk about another very important psychological aspect, which left him with food for thought for many more years. Syd. imagine roger, who is ashamed of any intimate action, who is dependent on other people's opinions, is insanely tense and always attacks someone with aggression if they say something that seems offensive to him, and imagine syd, who is not afraid to expirience, he is not afraid of sex, he is not afraid to talk about sex, he does not need to listen to the people around him to know who he is and what he wants from his life. he's incredibly free. roger admires this freedom. i think he was openly surprised at this side of barrett more than once. even now, he talks insanely often about how much he and syd talked about things that he didn’t understand then.

and in fact, yes, syd greatly influenced his life. syd never needed roger to pretend to him like waters did with his other friends. syd never needed roger to be right about everything or for everything to work out for him. syd just loved being around him and knowing that roger was listening to him and that syd had something to share with him. he loved that sometimes roger is very emotional or very sensitive and he never judged him for that. i think their sheer revelation to each other is what made roger obsess over him. he could have chosen anyone to talk about all his life and write songs about, even his girlfriend or wife, but he chose syd because he treated roger equally, honestly and openly.

you might think it was some weird jump from talking about sex to talking about feelings, but it's roger's sexuality that we're talking about. and his sexuality certainly includes sex AND feelings.

i'll also clarify that i don't want to say that they had any kind of sexual contact, but i believe that at least once he really thought that maybe if it was syd of all, he wouldn't be against. roger is very sensual and emotional and he is very confused about his sexual feelings, he was one hundred percent just as confused about syd. the “i'm a homosexual” moment didn’t make the situation any better either.

and what roger described in Incarceration of a flower child is an incredibly intimate moment. he remembers it. this is what he wants to remember when he thinks about syd. when it was just the two of them, lying on pillows and discussing baby names. and the way he grabs onto this moment, afraid to let it go - this is also very significant. i mean, he deeply loved him, kinda romantically, kinda friendly. there are many examples of songs that can prove this if you think a little, but i won't do that here, it's already a long post.

when syd left, this whole long process of his “leaving” made roger angry. i can only compare this to when a wife’s husband dies and she begins to ask herself “why did he do this to me? why did he leave me?” (i have an example of real people with whom this situation happened). roger also likes to direct everything towards himself, of course it was syd who left him, not pink floyd. syd made them famous, they were being pressured to write a new album, and syd just decided that he was leaving. and roger didn’t need excuses for why this happened, he saw it as if he was simply left to deal with all the problems. and so he feels sad, because he feels sad he gets angry and you get the idea. but the anger passes. and he understands that he misses him and syd was very, very important to him. and then the realization comes that it was he who was selfish in this situation.

and when syd leaves he becomes who he was again. he is unsure of himself, he is waiting for approval, he cannot improve his sex life (in some way) because there is simply something missing in it.

he is kinda bisexual.

he will never admit it because he doesn't think it's anyone's business. he doesn't admit it because he's still closed and he still can't agree with himself. after all, even if he had thoughts and even fantasies, he was always ashamed of them because for society it was shameful then. and he was dependent on it.

you can agree or disagree, i am not claiming to be his sex psychologist, i am simply writing this as my own thoughts and conclusions.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for not stopping to hang out with my ex-friend's little brother? 🫠 ← so I can see it later

So, I (19M) have been friends with Z(20M) for about 3 years at this point. However, about 2 months ago we had a fight, mostly caused by his unwillingness to work on his anger issues and my unwillingness to be vulnerable and other problems in our personalities that ended up clashing with eachother in the worst way possible. Both parties are responsible for the falling out here.

Now, we are both in the same friend circle, and when the fight happened I made it clear to all our mutual friends that I didn't want anyone taking sides, neither did I want people to stop talking to him because of said fight, and I thought he did the same since his younger brother J (15M) didn't stop talking to me.

I know the kid since he was 12, even baby sat him a few times over the three years I was friends with his brother. We don't talk regularly, but I do try to hang out with him here and there (usually playing video games or taking him and some of his school friends to whatever movie they wanna to watch).

I thought Z knew I still hung out with his brother because J sometimes posts stuff on social media when we go out, but since I don't have any other social media aside from tumblr, I don't know if these posts have me in it or not.

Yesterday, I went to pick him up so I could take him and his friend to this robotics/technology event my uni was doing, he begged me for almost a whole two weeks to take him when I mentioned it was going to happen and that I was gonna be presenting stuff (I'm part of a project that builds a race car and he Loves cars). When I got there, Z had just arrived as well and got Really pissed to see me there, he got even more pissed when I told him I was just there to pick J up.

He told me to stop talking to his brother and that I should stop being obsessed with him and that we were done. Now, I'm like a Really avoidant person when it comes to fights, like, to the point of if someone came to punch me I would just let them in hopes of the fight ending quicker (it has happened before, not exactly a pleasant experience I must say).

So all I did was say "ok" and got into my car to leave. However, since J was really excited about the event, I sent him a message asking him and his friend to come to my apartment cause "stuff" that I had to deal with had come up and I wouldn't be able to get them in time, and then sent him some money so they could grab an uber.

I get home and like, 20-30 minutes later J and his friend get there as well, but J is crying really hard, just bawling his eyes out. He was really really upset cause Z had yelled at him of me and threatened to tell their parents that he was "associating with his stalker" (I haven't seen nor talked to Z since the fight) and he was scared that his parents would make him stop hanging out with me (which I doubt they will since I'm the only reason the kid wants to go to uni, he Will regret that decision the moment he steps foot in the mechanical engineering building of my uni, so rip).

We got him to calm down and we went to the event, which went terribly but in a funny way (the car caught on fire when we turned it one, nobody was hurt physically, emotionally however is another story) and we had a lot of fun.

I gave him more money so he and his friend could go home, I didn't know if his brother was still there but I didn't wanna take any chances.

Today I woke up to a message from Z, again telling me to stay the hell away from his brother or else he would punch me in the face (he wouldn't, I know that for a fact, he would rather die than hurt me or anyone physically, emotionally again is another story). I didn't reply and blocked his number. I asked some of my other friends about it and the opinions are a bit divided, some say it's weird to still hang out with J, others say it's fine, so the most logical conclusion is to obviously ask strangers online what they think about it (which, it kinda of is, since no one knows either of the parties involved which means less bias or whatever)

Anyway, what's the verdict

What are these acronyms?