#not sure what this means but it cant be good lol
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paul aron's hair throughout the 2024 season 💁♂️
(also known as pt2 of jack being obsessed with a certain blonde curly-haired boy)
hello everyone and happy new year! i hope your 2024 has been lovely and that 2025 provides you with tons of joy and love. 💗
i'm back again with yet another paul hair appreciation post! i loved making it last year and so ive been thinking about it all year and collecting pics 🥰 last year i remember having to search really hard fo some of the pics – two weekends i even had only three pics 😭 but this year i've really had to kill my darlings because i've deleted so so many pics that i like just bcs i didn't want to make this too overwhelming... and i still ended up over 300 pictures..... 😶
last two things before we get started: the wind is my best friend nowadays because of how it affects his hair. so many pics here of his hair in all kinds of directions (and esp the gifs).... anD if you see any pic here that you want in it's original form, lmk and i'll post it for you!! i will keep the pics saved on my phone for a few days before i delete them to make space lol.
soooo hope you enjoy!! and check out last year's edition hereee if you want. 💗
bahrain
some pics from before the season started (testing & media days) and some from the first weekend! very messy at times, esp after sessions, but very cute. feels like maybe this was before he started caring a lot abt his hair and how it looks even during the race weekends? if you get what i mean? like some weekends it looks a bit too perfect that it feels like he made sure it looked like that… maybe? anyways very cute!
jeddah
pretty long hair? very cute!! also looked pretty light despite how dark it was there when they drove during the evening etc. the middle row from the prema lap from when he was talking to ollie 🫶
melbourne
shorter than in jeddah so a little haircut? looks pretty thin also?? hmm but very curly 🥰 love the middle and most right pics in the top row also lmao, love mid-workout expressions 😁
formula e
pics both from his tests and his race round in fe! his hair looks so fried in the top left pic eye 😭 it was very fly-y this weekend? wanted to escape everywhere all the time so i had tons of pics of little strands everywhere! curls go crazy 🥹
imola
looks very dark here actually!! and kinda short also? love the little tips of the curls like that too aaaaa 😭 and the ways some certain individual curls are so spirally and just……. aaaaaa cute
monaco
love the sight of his hair poking out of his cap/balaclava etc (first three pics) aaaaaa !!!! and his hair in the belvita pic 😭 looks like he has little horns :(( so messy and cute. and the post-race interview? it was high at the back that it looked like one of those old hairstyles??? idk what its called but i think you understand
barcelona
also very dark despite the sun! 😯 and not super fluffy or cute etc but still yk very good hair. 😌
spielberg
TOP LEFT PIC. THE LITTLE 🌱. I CANNOT TAKE THIS GUYS I JUST CANT. his hair after the sprint race was truly something new also…. i mean yes it was very warm so obvs very sweaty but damn it looks so crazy 😭 (stupidly enough i didnt put them together, but it's the top four pics on the right side and bottom two on the left side)
silverstone
bad weekend race-wise but amaaazinnggggg weekend hair-wise. so so long curls, so curly, so poofy!! actually probably my favorite hair weekend. just so adorable. never needed to brush my fingers through his locks this much before….
hungaroring
pole aron >>> everything 🥰 dont have a lot to say, i just adore the post-race messiness and esp in combination with his pink cute cheeks? also maybe i shouldnt comment his looks since this is a hair post buttt the middle pic on the left side? baby baby baby???? (and the middle middle pic still gives me nightmares ngl)
spa
probably my second fave hair weekend? so so light!!! actually managed to sneak a pic i took of him into this 🥺 (the quality is terrible BUT i took it!! yay!!!!) i actually never watched this episode of "chasing the dream" until last night (was heartbroken bcs of the feature 🥲) and oh my goD it was such a good paul episode? so so many amazing paul shots?? of his hair yes but just him in general and his cute face and his smile?? his pretty baby blue eyes?!?!?!!!??!!!!! insane. will be watching it every night to have happy sweet dreams 🥰
summer break
cowboy paul 🤠 hair looked a lot lighter after his italy visit but idk how much time he actually spent in the sun? considering his fair northern european skin? (like im also northern european so i know it's hard to keep your hair in the sun to bleach it and still keep your skin safe 🥲) it was SO hard to make this collage without spending five hours just staring at his abs, ngl.
monza
why do the top four pics give me like… golf vibes? like he's sitting there trying to see if the ball went into the hole?? ANYWAYS. kinda dark considering how light it looked during the summer break?? but very defined curls. *chefs kiss*
baku
not as curly as sometimes, just… very messy? kinda flat at times, pretty light and fluffy other times. very cute nonetheless <33 (also speaking of him and his hairline… some pics here are ruthless in that way aaaa)
qatar
looove the way the hair curls around the cap he's wearing when he's out in the wind!! like he has some kind of fluffy padding in it yk?? b a b y. the pics of him right after the feature race are crazy, the hair is everywhere but i understand that he had other things to care about 😭
abu dhabi
the pics on the far right are from a vid on the f2 story from that weekend and i was kinda heartbroken that i chose the collage format to only include his hair and not his facial expressions, because he was SO babyboy in that video. (it's still available in their story highlights! check it out if you havent seen it yet!!!) the curls are so defined and curly but so so pretty, like not very messy just !!! feels like maybe he properly styled them very well this weekend? because the curls look so perfect at times that im like "yeah he didnt just wake up like that". (and that's more than okay!!! 🥰) except for when he just got out of the car lmao like the bottom left pic. insane
other breaks/postseason
mixed pics from random breaks, and pics from after the season (like his seat fitting with alpine)! some of the pics from the parc ferme photoshoot are also very very 🌱, like the top two on the column row! adorableeeee!! the curls also look definitely styled from the family's trip to rome? and the bottom two pics of the second and third column from some forest visit with karl, the hair was adorable :(
gifs !!!
just some random gifs of his hair movement 🫶 as ive already said, i love the wind! thank you mother nature for your hard work!!! also paul running and his hair flopping up and down like a dog's ears will NEVER get old, just saying
if anyone made it this far, thank you for looking & reading!! hope you enjoyed and hope you're maybe at least somewhat near as obsessed as me <33
#this took SO much time but was SO worth it#i skipped a lot of the ctd eps this year after paul started having his bad period and so getting to watch them for the first time was lovel#hope everyone has a lovely new year ❤️#f1#f2#paul aron#formula two#formula 2#formula 1#formula one#hitech gp#bwt alpine f1 team#alpine f1#prema racing#mercedes junior team
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Whenever i hear someone talking about something they remember happening to them when they were like 4-6 years old (especially when adults do it) i get legitimately surprised that they can remember things from so early on in their childhood and at this point i'm starting to think it probably actually says something (mildly concerning) about me that i can barely remember my life prior to like. 3rd grade.
#my memories from my early childhood are really blurry for some reason and i have to think harder than normal to remember them#not sure what this means but it cant be good lol#lizard-dumbass talks about stuff#text post#'things that should probably be written in a journal instead of on tumblr' should honestly be a legit tag at this point lmao
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don't really know what to title this, something something being put on for show instead of living free
reblogs appreciated!!!! i wanna hear people's thoughts on this piece since it's a bit out of my usual zone ALSO my ko-fi is here if yall wanna check that out ;3
#my art#original artwork#i had a lot of fun with this one#don't really usually put meaning with my art#but with my collages i do#anyways really really proud of this one#reblogs hella appreciated#will do prints soon-ish once i figure out how to do that#cuz i wanna make sure that they're good quality#if anyone knows any good printing places lmk#also typing out this post i realized the pigeon doesn't have feet#we will. ignore that#ITS SYMBOLISM. MHM. YEP DOESNT HAVE FEET SO CANT WALK AWAY OR SMTHN. NO FREEDOM. IDK!#traditional collage#collage art#collage#pigeon art#no clue what to tag this lol#bird art
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woooowwww wowowowowwwww its that guy. the dude. its my special lil guy!!
uuhh i did this because. i thought the album art for the 1998 anime looked kinda like. the sonic adventure pose. and it was SUPPOSED! to just be a shit post. and then i got 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝓇𝒾𝑒𝒹 𝒶𝓌𝒶𝓎!!
Trimax version TriStamp version
#art#my art#digital art#Digital Illustration#fanart#trigun#trigun 98#trigun 1998#Vash the Stampede#goddddd this took me way too long lmaooo#i been busy sobb#i am not gonna lie i kinda wanna redraw it for both trimax and tristamp#but im not super sure abt it well see#i dont think itd take as long as this did#the worst part abt art imo is color i just cant do it its too hard i struggle too much i hope u cant tell i gave up on it LOL#i was literally like im done w the colors now i just gotta do bg and showed the colored vers to my mom and she was like 😬#WHAT!! WHAT DOES THAT FACE MEAN!! the colors clash really bad... it doesnt look very good.... love the lineart but the colors...... not it#the defeat in my soul#so i redid it and i redid the shading and the style and said then got back to the colors and stole them from one of my favorite paintings#and then ended up puttin a filter on em sobb#i got the colors from rosalyn drexlers chubby checker fyi#cos i mentioned i stole em might as well say from where#i like her art#idk if her arts surreal but its a lil weird its my type#actually i think its pop? idk im not good at tellin that stuff#dont ask me what happened to the bottom of the text it got cropped off on accident n i noticed too late n was too lazy to fix it#i will not change#anyways thats the post sorry for ramblin so much in the tags loll im tired i havent slept in oof a while
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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this might be an unpopular opinion but season 3 part 1 is maybe my favorite of aot
#i say it might be cause i have seen people around say that its more boring and slow moving than other parts#which like. i dont agree but sure?????#also have seen people talk about disliking the change in focus and stuff#but idk man i find it so interesting and compelling#in fact it makes me crazy#and yea its a little different but i love the change of pace#add levi to the arc and i mean . what more could a guy ask for#its just peak storytelling to me okay???? i cant help it i eat it up#i might change my mind after i watch s3p2 cause its all so good but . for now i'm speaking my truth lol#₊˚⊹⋆˚☂︎ bunny babbles ₊˚⊹⋆˚
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post ankle-twisting clarity
#i slipped in the mudddddd the other day LOL i twisted my one ankle and scraped up my other knee#so the past few days ive just been kind of needing to waddle around.....#LUCKILY its healing well and fast <3 but yknow i was like#so stressed out over shit that doesnt matter in school. and like this is an awful unintentional habit i have but i will get like#overly stressed over shit and then i'll start getting SUPER careless with everything. and then i'll injure myself foolishly and Calm Down#happened last year with my foolish midnight woodcarving incident LOL its always november....#BUT yeah luckily this years foolish injury is a quick one at least!!#but yeah like genuinely i was so stressed out about all my fine arts major shit. teachers have been really getting on my case recently#my main professor said that it was a good thing people get so riled up with my work because it means its impactful#tbh i didnt believe her at all i thought she was just trying to placate me but then i listened closely to the things faculty say when#they look at my fucking. cartoon wolf drawing or something and i think. she might be right actually. people keep getting frustrated with me#because i think they see a lot of potential in me but i basically only have to drive to draw cartoon wolves etc HFKJSDHJVKRFEds#which is great for my ego. maybe too good for my ego. that my mark making and colour use etc is so evocative to these industry and#instutition people. but on the other hand i was told like thrice now that my work has no place in a gallery. which is fine although im not#totally sure how true that is. but also afterwards one time i was suggested to go into animation instead which is. um.#so its not out of nowhere i mean i did want to be an animator when i was like 10 but if you know anything about the current state of the#animation industry its like genuinely wild to tell someone who you've only seen 2 dimensional watercolour and acrylic painted#sketchy lined drawings from and who has said they cant do digital art anymore that they should get an animation degree?#brother they would kill me. i would be killed. i had an inkling but it really made me notice so clearly how limited the experiences my#faculty kind of have with certain industries. which is fine. or maybe not. for a professor LOL but yknow. but i was like huh. i guess i can#just kind of chill lol if i just keep doing things maybe something will come of it. i may not get as much help in my artistic development#rn as i would like. but its chill i think i'll figure it out if i just keep doing stuff <3#doesnt really matter that my teachers dont know what to do with me. my kneeeee has a booboo so i am CHILLING out :)
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also uh im kind of not thinking about it much because its insane. but if everything goes right (and i mean a considerable amount of things that probably wont go as planned) but if they DO... i will have a major surgery in like two weeks
#vertical sleeve gastrectomy to be exact insert nerd emoji here#i might document a lot of whats going on with it and even take some videos honestly#not to share here other than some oversharing text posts about probably constipation LMAO#but like no one shares whats it like to be mentally ill and go thru vsg and like the process and not many people as young as me get it#feels weird calling myself young on the chronically 13 year old website#but anyone that does post about it posts for like a year and then falls off the face of the earth#genuinely there are so many youtubers that start talking about this stuff#then you find their channel three years deserted and its like man.#i sure hope this means you found better ways to spend your time#and like okay time to get sappy and corny as hell in the notes so go ahead and skip this part idk who even reads my notes hello#but basically everyones that gets this shit is like you gotta find your why#and most of them have kids or like a husband or plans to travel the world or do better at their job#and none of those things really apply to me#i kind of have the perfect storm for being fat#i dont do anything work wise that encourages any kind of movement#im chronically afraid of planes and i cant afford that shit anyways rn#also not very good at romance LOL and never want kids and my entire family is also fat barring my brother#thats not to absolve myself of any of the blame for this shit either like i know i put myself in this situation#i just think like wow my life is pretty much perfect for staying fat but i DONT WANT THAT#I want the highlight of my week to be more than eating takeout man#i want to live life instead of meal to meal to something better#idk what yet maybe jewelery piece to jewelery piece#i could do some serious kandi making while im down for the count#but i dunno man my therapist tells me that in order to feel like a person and not get tired of life i have to do people things and#participate in life yknow?#and its hard to do things like go to the gym talk to people explore fashion styles when i have this overloomingness of being fat#so i guess that could be my why? like i want to experience more of life#i want to be able to walk in a mall and look at all the stores. i want to walk in a mall period. cause it fucking hurts the way i am now#thats all to say the actual “why” that i have is Goddamn it i want to be able to jump from a swing#and not break my fucking ankles
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want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#actually i dont mean bald i just mean all one guard length#but hhhhh maybe i'm in an awkard stage maybe not i just CANNOT live like this#middle part is frustrating because it's not perfect in the way it sits side part is frustrating because i look like a girl#i feel like i could go all in with the 4 and then sorta texture a bit with the 2 guard HOWEVER having used the 4 previously. i know#how short that is. it might not look good so i worry#the bright side is it would grow out a bit by the time of the parade but augh i hate this#i'm currently a tightly wound ball of rage sorry. i didn't eat much of anything 2day#tried to call the hospital to get help with the letter/consulation thing preceding top surgery and they were NOT OPEN so idk if they will#be open tomorrow or not. the passage of time has gotten very vague all of a sudden#iiiiiii do not think i am doing well. lol. idk why though! god forbid any of it have a reason#i almost wish i'd relapse just so i could like. eat food again#idk i don't think it would solve it but i feel in my heart it might make things easier#buuuut because relapse is Bad For Me i guess i have to avoid it. well i want to anyways.#one bad day would not a reset make but my previous day happened this year already so...#i dunno it's been so long that i feel like it's not valid or whatever cause it was at an age where i can say it was a 'phase'#.............. i dunno what to do with that information. anyways.#i mean so what if i went all in on it again anyways? i kinda miss it lol. it's not like i could do any serious harm??#(potential infections aside.)#i just want to be creative and i CANT because my stupid brain will NOT think of anything#and the majority of what i have concretely written of this was written... get this .... right when i was trying to stay clean at first#correlation does not equal causation ........ sighs#i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle because i WANT IT to be that bad again#i've never really regretted it & it's never really been because of anything#i just started because i was curious about why someone would do that. that's all#i dont think i've EVER had any of the mental distress i see people in when theyre in these spaces#in one journal entry i made this big deal about wanting to kill myself but *i didn't want to*. i never did.#like sorry old me but it is REALLY hard to believe i've ever been depressed depressed#i just want things to be better and they never are :/ this should be everything i wanted and its just ... not#i'm not really sure how to ....... oh tag limit ok hold on
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i dont wanna eat anything or do anything and i just wanna lay around but i also dont wanna do that and i dont wanna watch anything or read anything and idk what i wanna do
#i was supposed to have someone review my resume and i was banking on the fact that maybe talking to someone instead of being alone in my roo#would help me out but the whole appointment system maker thing was messed up so we couldnt even meet#so i literally hvae nothing better to do than wait the next few days to get back to campus#and i was soooo excited to go back to school and i still am cuz i know itll make me feel better being around people#but im just a lot less excited than i was#cuz i just really really hate the idea of having to spend another fall semester getting over someone#like i couldve probably handled spring semester. but fall semester???? when theres already enough desolateness as it is???#like i just hate hate htae the idea of being on buses and starting to cry again and its midnight at 4pm when im crying#and theres people everywhere and the wrost part is shes literally on the same campus as me!!! so now i might actually see her!!!#and i dont want to!!!#i want to be friends but right now i know if i see her again ill just start sobbing on the spot#i was so excited for thsi fall sem but now im just notttt#and i know ill be busier (hopefully) this sem so im sure ill be better off than last year#but still like. idfk i dont know what to do. i think i just need to hear someone elses voice#im supposed to talk to my friend later today so maybe thatll help#cuz im kinda ready to tell someone about it but what if she telsl me she cant call what am i suppsoed to doooo#cuz last year the person iw as getting over lived a bajillion miles from me so it was easier!!! but she and I live 5 mins from each other#AND SHES FREINDS WITH LIKE ALL MY ROOMMATES#THEYRE ALL HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS !!!!#GODDDD.#i mean there are def upsides to this . for example its good we broke up now#cuz imagine if we broke up cuz of a fight and then thered be a big issue in the friend group#but it ended well and i dont think our friends / roommates will be 'picking sides'#as long as i just dont do anything drastic lol#adn who knows maybe our friendship will bounce back and i really hope it does!!#but she and i didnt start off as friends we kinda went into this knowing we were into each other to begin with#so like how do i be friends with her you know???#and friendship is soo important to me so its not like i dont want to be friends with her. i really really do. i just dont know how itll wor#like i value friendship over romantic relationships any day but also our relationship felt so deep to me#which is why im scared that we wont be friends even though i know we both want to be
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mannnnn do NOT let me go off thinking abt the war for too long bc apparently there is no future for us lol!
#wl26#war stuff#everything is going to shit#not enough soldiers so they grab anyone who cant hide or run and just throw them in there#and then the rest give men dirty looks for not joining the army#well why didnt YOU join the army huh?#''its a man's duty to-'' yeah and what would you do in his place. what would you do if it were you#what would you do if it were your brother or son. would you send them to their deaths because its their duty?#this country is full of hypocrites#but then i cant argue with the fact at this point we're just gonna lose everything#bc not enough soldiers means the russian army is gonna keeping moving further and further into our territory lol!#i wonder why nobody cares about our land being stolen#all the pacifists screaming at us to give away more of our land#but nobody's screaming at russia to stop fucking killing us#i hope all colonisers and imperialists die forever. but i cant really make that happen now can i#at least these fucks have a home to return to. and my people dont#at least they have parents to come back to and our children dont#but yeah sure lets give them more land im sure that'll fix everything and wont inspire soviet union 2 the electric boogaloo#fucking tired of it all. when will things be good
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being aware of your own shortcomings but not knowing how to fix it. sooooo frustrating lol <3
#AUGHHHHHH I CANT WRITE I GIVE UP IM DONE!#im like. anybody with an ounce more of. idk being in tune with their feelings??????????? would have expanded on eg an observation#but i dont. or i cant. and i dont care to figure out which one cos either way i dont want to!#but thats not good for writing!!!!!!!!!#i realise that maybe for dialogue its ok. because yknow how therapy speak is becoming a problem with dialogue and a piece of advice ive see#going around is 'no one says what they mean'#well. so thats easy at least LMAO. at least up until people have feelings jams. which is where i fall flat on my face#but in either case the problem becomes the experiencing. when ur writing pov and ur saying how they Felt#and i just. shrug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAN#you kno?????? is this making sense?#i just love avoiding things too much!#im complaining about writing but im 100% sure this is a problem in. every other avenue of life for me lol <3
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jesus christ I feel like shit
#thank god for testosterone making me unable to cry like a normal person because I sure would be otherwise#im as close as I can get to it pretty much#cant wait for my mom to get back today or tomorrow and ask me when I start the new job and I’ll just have to say oh yeah :) they never#called back actually :) haha#I know they made it sound close to certain but lol guess not!#kibumblabs#i fucking hate this I hate getting invested in anything and putting in time and effort into shit just to get fucking spat on#just emailed the general hotel email but I doubt that’ll do anything. anything good anyway#cause the restaraunt/club is managed seperately I’ll probably just get the runaround or a ‘I’ll let her know you contacted us’ which#literally never actually means anything#either that or I’ll just be rejected indirectly which won’t exactly make me feel. better#I also applied for the 8000th time to another place for a similar job but I’ve never had luck with this place so that’ll probably also#result in nothing#woohoo it’s fucking September and we’re still stuck at fucking square one! hahaahaahahahaah SO cool#for real it should actually be a fucking legal requirement to give your applicants/interviewees some form of follow-up. it’s just so#fucking degrading to try and follow-up and just being ghosted. like what’s the point of that#it feels simultaneously like rejection and being strung along at the same time. i talked to you in person the least you could do is give#me any kind of update. for the love of god
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Finally getting round to reading the Scarlet Pimpernel (free eBooks my beloved) and while I am really enjoying the story and everything is pretty easy to follow, the sheer royalist tones the book has is a lot
#i mean i knew that would be in here#given that pimpernel is a noble who rescued “innocent royals/rich people” from the guillotine during the reign of terror#and the book is set in england AND france#but its still a lot lol#its honestly nice so far#im managing two chapters a day which im really really proud of considering i cant remember the last time i read a book#well ok last one i read was beowulf but that wasn't too long (version i read anyway)#this book has like 29ish chapters? idr#its also worth noting the author herself was a baroness#and that her backstory involved her fleeing to england when she was 3 because the locals rebelled against her family and burnt down#the family home#which while im sure it was justified must have been terrifying for her#i cant lie either its interesting reading from this and seeing her perspective on things as much as i despise royalty i am very interested#in the whole system if that makes sense? its just fascinating to me#i think im gonna blame tlk for this one LMAO#but yeah good so far#also yeah im sure you guys know why im reading the book LMAO#if not well im sure you could probably guess 💀#to be fair the reign of terror was a pretty fucked up time so like i can see the need for pimpernel... somewhat#also fun fact for anyone interested but this book is actually what started the whole hero with a secret identity#and pimpernel is said to have inspired the likes of zorro and batman!#idk i just thought that was pretty cool
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#i feel weird and confused lol#like....why cant just ppl..do smth out of their good will instead...of...like...ending up kinda wanting or expecting smth in return?#i mean you do someone a favor sure#you agreed to it#and she gives you a bit of what you need in return#it might not be enough for all the effort you put but there is smth#also the other person doesnt have the right to be an ass just coz she is giving smth too ya know#but my point is that.......why does it seem like...you are expected to give smth back? like a big one#and the thing is...they expect you to know that? that you have to give more besides what you are already giving because am doing it kinda#thing#and if it doesnt happen...you end up talking behind that someones back? why not just tell them then?#when I said that to someone they said 'it should be obvious and it shouldnt be said' its like automatic ya know?#and in my head am like is it supposed to be that way? also why cant they just say it then instead of talking shit?#sometimes a lot of this shit happens if only ppl could talk...maturely though#idk...am just...so...i get ther point but am also thinking is it supposed to be that way all the time?#lololololol am just rambling tbh#and thinking#personal#like..i feel weird of that you have to automatically give someone in return thing...i get it...but to expect smth that is equivalent your-#effort? yeah ig but how do you even repay that in cash though or material things? is it supposed to be that way all the time when you do#someone a favor??????????#ugh whatevr#its early for this kind of shit girl
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dietitian: we use exchanges so that you can't use numbers to restrict!
me: challenge accepted
#exchanges are literally numbers lol#i mean they also have worked for me when im in a good place but rn its just a method of restriction#but idk what else to do because i cannot intuitive eat#the iop dietitian does thus thing called the 'peaceful plate' !#and thats just making sure you have all food groups#and like. it is still so easy to restrict while doing that lmao#i cant win#cw// ed
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