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beanwaterontherocks · 5 months ago

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Stress relief

(Hoshina Soshiro)

Pairing: Hoshina Soshiro x gn!Reader (they/them pronouns) Pt2 Pt3 Summary: You and your platoon were sent to Japan's third division base. You get along well with the vice captain, though sparring with him brings way more stress than it relieves. Warnings: Suggestive language and situations, Kissing, 18+ only My first language isn't english, so mistakes may occur. Word count: 1959

You’d heard stories of Japan’s Defense Force back at home and seeing it in person sure didn’t disappoint. Sixteen whole divisions spread over the country. The Tachikawa base, belonging to the Third Division, was a sight to see. A massive structure full of high-tech weapons and skilled officers. You’d been ordered to help out at the base as a show of goodwill. You and your platoon felt a bit out of place at first, coming from a country with less kaiju attacks and a smaller force. But you and your team were willing to help out in any way you could during missions.

You leaned against the balcony, listening to the happy chatter inside the building. It was good that both teams seemed to be getting along, no doubt helped by the casual ‘welcome party’ you’d been greeted with. You fiddled with your half-empty can of beer, as you let out a breath, maybe you shouldn’t be so nervous about this.

“There you are Commander, I was wonderin’ where you went off to”, a voice spoke and you turned to face Vice-Captain Hoshina. He smiled at you, an expression he seemed to wear a lot, you smiled back politely. “Are we boring ya?” He asked in a teasing tone. You’d pegged him as a more laid-back guy and you’d been right.

But looking closer, there was something enigmatic about him. His cheerful grin, charming as it was, didn’t always seem sincere. There was more to him than a joking personality. Your interest was definitely piqued.

“I just needed some fresh air, though I’m glad they’re all having fun”, you responded, watching as he moved to stand a few feet from you, leaning against the balcony too. “Thanks for the warm welcome, I’m glad you guys are more tight-knit like we are”, you spoke and took a sip of your now lukewarm beer. He looked at you for a moment, before glancing at the party through the window behind him.

“I guess you could say that, though you shouldn’t get too attached, y’know”, he commented and you hummed in agreement. That much was true, it was an unpredictable and dangerous job and anything could happen at any time. There was something you had to point out though, to get back at his teasing earlier.

“I think that’s a little hypocritical, Vice-Captain Hoshina”, you said, looking at him with a smile. He seemed a little taken back, crossing his arms. “You care a lot about your division, I can tell, otherwise you wouldn’t let them throw parties or even care to make fun of them”, you continued and finished off your drink. “Plus, it’s better to take the risks among friends than among strangers”, you said as you looked up towards the darkening sky. He tilted his head before opening his mouth and…bursting out laughing. You saw him double over and clutch his stomach as he chuckled.

“Ya sound like some kind of fantasy character, what’s with that?” He said as he continued to wheeze. Although his laugh was cute to listen to (something you felt embarrassed admitting) you still put a hand over your chest, in mock scandal. You were about to speak up when he looked at you, his smile softer than usual. You felt your cheeks heat up, probably just because of the alcohol. “I hope we can get along!”, he said as he straightened his posture, holding a gloved hand out to you. You took his hand, shaking it firmly as you smiled.

“Me too”, you responded and let go of his hand.

“So, I heard you use swords when fighting kaiju”, you spoke up, recalling the documents you’d read before coming here. “You don’t see that often, even though it’s pretty effective”, you said and Hoshina raised an eyebrow.

“You think so?” He asked, a hand resting on his chin. You nodded and explained how optimal it could be for smaller kaiju. There was a much less messy outcome than with guns and it gave more precision to exploit weak spots. Hoshina was silent for a moment before he simply grinned again.

“I heard you like different weapons too, ya use a staff right?” He said and you were a bit surprised, he’d read up on you too.

“Well, it’s more of a secondary weapon, but I’d really like to spar with you sometime”, you said and Hoshina hummed a bit before nodding.

“Sure, how about tomorrow night?” He asked, you chuckled in response but you were incredibly interested in seeing him in action.

“Eager, aren’t we? I’ll take you up on that offer”, you chuckled, this was your chance to see him in action. The two of you rejoined the party and you spent the evening getting to know the officers, occasionally feeling like someone was stealing glances at you.

It went without saying that being in the Defense Force came with a lot of stress. Daily training regimes, missions, strategizing and, for you and Hoshina, keeping the officers in line. You had taken to sparring with Hoshina a few times a week to decompress and let it out. Sure, it was nice to relax and recommend books to each other but sparring was definitely the best way to relieve stress.

Or it would have been, if it wasn’t for how you were distracted by something else.

That something being Hoshina in that skin-tight compression shirt. The way his impressive muscles rippled with every move and how snugly it clung to his defined waist. Though it was hard to take your eyes off his torso, his face was also becoming a problem.

His jovial expression melted into something more serious when he first took a swing at you. His eyes seemed to open more, exposing that vibrant mauve hue that you wanted to look at even closer. You managed to move to the side and dodge his attack by a hair’s width. You kicked your leg out to throw him off his balance, but he dodged it. Typical, you couldn’t always land a hit on him barehanded, you thought back to earlier this week. You’d gotten your staff to Hoshina’s neck, pressing the wood against his skin and the look he’d given you…like he was daring you to do something. You still weren’t sure what that look meant, but it had been incredibly hot. Here you were thinking like this while he was trying to earnestly spar with you. You mentally slapped yourself as you backed up a bit.

“Hey, how about we make a wager? Whoever loses has to do a favor for the winner”, you suggested, thinking about the nice lunch that the vice-captain salary could get you. Just to think about anything else than the flex of his arms. Hoshina grinned as your match paused momentarily.

“Sure, that sounds fun”, he said teasingly, sending more blood to your face. Damn him.

You saw his gaze rake over you, preparing himself for whatever you might do. A part deep inside of you hoped that he was looking at you like you did him. But you instantly doubted it, your training clothes were an old t-shirt and biker shorts. You gestured for him to come towards you as you assumed a fighting stance,

Maybe you were extra distracted or maybe his movements were a bit slower as he lunged at you again. That move seemed way too predictable for Hoshina and you actually managed to catch his fist.

“Wow, Vice-Captain, is something throwing you off?” You asked, chuckling a bit before you saw his expression. It was that exact same look from before, the one that challenged you, made your heart race so much it thumped in your ears. You couldn’t look anywhere but his face and that led to your defeat.

He swept your legs out from under you, causing you to fall onto your back, hitting the training room floor. He got on his knees and pinned your wrists down

“I got ya now”, he said as he leaned over you, dark violet locks framing his face, which was now right in front of yours. He let go of your wrists after three seconds, but neither of you moved away. You tried to keep your gaze upwards, but it slowly drifted down to his lips. His mouth was open slightly, he was breathing heavily. You studied his pointed canines, wondering how they’d feel against your lips.

The match had been over for a hot minute, yet Hoshina was still this close. The two of you simply looked at each other, engaged in some kind of stalemate. What kind of move should you make? You didn’t want to mess up the steady friendship the two of you had. But you couldn’t ignore the heat radiating off his body or how his locked gaze made you shiver.

“So, what about that favor?” Hoshina asked, his hand raising, hovering just over the side of your face, like he wanted to cup your cheek. It couldn’t be, was he really having the same feelings? Maybe this was only your only chance to know for sure, without completely messing things up. You looked him in the eye, taking a breath before speaking:

“I’ll do you the favor of letting you kiss me”.

You waited, had you been wearing your suit, it would have warned you of a dangerously accelerated heart rate. If he didn’t feel the same way, you still had time to frame it as a joke, a cheeky remark like the ones you two always shared. There was no more time to nervously ponder. Because Hoshina leaned down and pressed his lips to yours.

It was a feverous kiss, his hand went to hold your face as he pressed himself even closer. You felt relief wash over you as you kissed him back with matched passion. You wrapped your arms around his neck and ran your tongue across his bottom lip. Hoshina chuckled into the kiss before opening his mouth. Those sharpened canines felt just as good as you’d hoped. He nipped at your lips with them, though never hard enough to draw blood. Hoshina’s other hand went down to your thigh, snaking a finger under the hem of your shorts. He pulled the tight fabric and it snapped against your thigh, making you gasp.

“How am I supposed to focus when you’re wearin’ these”, he said breathlessly when he pulled away from your lips. You laughed and moved your arms from his neck to his waist, running your palms over his clothed, toned back with a satisfied sigh.

“I guess we’re even then”, you spoke, finding the hem of that godforsaken shirt. You were desperate to get it off and feel more of his skin, more of him.

But you both decided it’d be better to continue somewhere private. You leaned back on his bed, watching as he crawled towards you and caged your body in with his own. Wasting no time, you tugged at his shirt until he got the message and peeled it off. You felt heat between your legs as you pulled off your own shirt. He stared at you, a look like one he gave you when you were sparring. But there was something else in his gaze, a deep hunger, like he’d been holding it back for a while.

“We’re far enough away from the others, make as much noise as you wanna”, he said, so close that you could feel his breath on your neck. You put your palm on the back of his head and threaded your fingers into his dark violet locks. You pushed him closer and caught his lips, moving your leg between his. Just like your sparring matches, you’d give it all you had.

#kaiju no. 8 #hoshina soshiro #soshiro hoshina #kaiju no 8 x reader #hoshina soshiro x reader #Hoshina #hoshina x reader #soshiro hoshina x reader #Kaiju no 8 fic #x reader #gender neutral reader #monster no 8

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auckie · 7 months ago

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I think the things that offend me most nowadays in like, smaller interpersonal interactions rather than grand, sweeping trends in culture, are when people chose to not partake in a wide set of things. Like musical close mindedness, or refusal to try different foods from different cultures. Not watching an entire subset of films bc they’re ‘french’. Avoiding reading bc you say you have adhd and it’s too hard. Like dude I get it, I’m busy. I can be picky. Everyone can. But the willful ignorance of closing yourself off to those VAST portions of the human experience, and not having curiosity and a lust to learn and explore art that was made by someone worlds apart from you either in terms of their culture, era, whatever. I dunno man it just pisses me off so bad. I think it’s arrogant. Like oh you’re comfortable in your safe little bubble huh? And you’re enforcing its barriers with the excuse that you’re autistic and have sensory issues. With music made by black people?? lol okay. It is pretty presumptuous for me to assume malicious intent but I think those prejudices are borne from either the comfort of being someone who’s wealthy and probably white not feeling the need to learn past what they think is enough, or it’s a reflection of a society that’s taught you to prioritize what it shills— popular, current (white, depending where you live ig) artists who are making streamlined, easy to digest content. Often when I meet people with these issues they’ll have one particular ‘niche’, and it tends to be like. 70s music. Victorian literature. Anime and Japanese games. But they’re still not really investing beyond the media presented. Like there’s so much more to Japanese culture than liking some cartoons put out between 2010-2020. You don’t gotta become some sorta Einstein who learns the background of every little freak in FGO yeah. But don’t you wanna aim higher? Aren’t you interested in any of the historical figures? And nothings wrong with hopping onto a trend. You read Dracula bc of that Dracula daily thing. Cool! Read more. Some people will say they’re chronically ill or disabled and can’t get outside. That’s okay. The internet is full of things you can read other than fanfiction, YouTube has a shit ton of free music. There’s Wikipedia and free articles online if you have questions about things. Yeah nobody is spending four hours a day looking at the national archives website and studying art history but it’s imbued in the things around you, and youll absorb it ambiently as you go along. you dont have to be a jack of all trades and cover every major genre of every major medium, but it never hurts to try! I really love seeing ppl ask too. Bc it can be kind of humiliating to admit to what seems like some jackass hipster that you’ve never delved into, idk, Serbian films (lol not that one). And hopefully if whoever you’re asking will give you honest good recommendations and not berate you. I’m kind of berate a straw man rn I guess. The hostile tone def doesn’t lend to an atmosphere of sharing but I cannot tell you how many times I’ve rbed anything involving specifically jazz only to see someone rb and add the stupidest comment on the post, or in the tags, or go into my inbox to be like waaah I don’t like jazz bc it’s boring and old and for pretentious hypocrites who hate neurodivergent people! Like what are you TALKING about. Fine if you don’t like it but don’t try and rationalize that as a moral standing you shit lark. And just as they’re allowed to dislike jazz I’m allowed to not really enjoy people who don’t like jazz. Or country. Nautical knots. Knit wear. Watching urbex YouTubers get their shit rocked by squatters. Korean food. Pachuco fashion and stupid ugly low riders. Bollywood films. and they don’t want to try any of those things either yknow? The next thing I’m getting into is circuit bending.

#sorry this is probably a bit whiny I just got mad remembering

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wish-i-were-heather · 19 days ago

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of course trump fucking won. this entire country is fucked and always has been. i went to his instagram to see if him or harris have posted anything and im absolutely fucking disgusted. ive never seen anything more hypocritically racist, sexist, homophobic, and literally discriminating against everything besides white heteronormative christians. but unfortunately there are just as many disgusting people in the world who see themselves in him and are going to vote for him. and they did vote for him. look where that got us. and of course he won because those people voted for him, those people who want to take away human rights. why would a woman win in a country that's sexist?? why would someone of color win in a country that's racist?? and why especially would a black woman who actually cares about people win in a country full of racist, sexist assholes?? ive literally never felt more hopeless than right now. we survived the last times he was president, but his plans for this time are far worse.

if you voted for trump, you voted for a man who only cares about himself. he doesnt give two shits about anyone, republican or not. you elected a homophobe into office. oh, great, you're also homophobic? then think about this. you elected a racist into office. you elected an ableist into office. YOU ELECTED A RAPIST INTO OFFICE. if you dont see the problem with that, there is something seriously wrong with you. if you voted for trump, there is something seriously wrong with you. as a teenage girl who is going to graduate before the next election, youre giving me this absolutely disguisting horrible piece of shit that dares to call himself a human being to deal with. i am genuinly preparing myself to leave the country after i graduate. it was a joke at first, but its nowhere near funny now. if i could leave right now, at this exact moment, i would. i am actually crying right now because i know that there are other people, people who are my friends, who are far more affected by this than i am. you had your vote, and you chose use it to ruin the lives of everyone.

if you voted for trump, have fun telling your daughter, your sister, your girlfriend, your best friend, your niece, your cousin, your mother, everyone, that you voted to take away their bodily freedoms. have fun at the hospital as your ten year old daughter gives birth to her rapist's baby, potentially dying doing so, because you voted away her abortion rights. have fun receiving a text from your nephew telling you that he is hiding from an active shooter because you voted for a vice president who stands behind glass while preaching that school shootings are "a fact of life." have fun watching your best friend, who you didn't even know was transgender because no, you can't "always tell," get fired because you voted away their job security. have fun watching the world around you fall apart because you voted for a dictator, not a president.

send me more hate anon i dont give a fuck. words cannot express how upset i am right now. with everyone. if you voted for a third party or even didn't vote at all, you're just as much at fault. any vote not for harris was a vote for trump. and now trump has the votes. now trump is the president.

if you voted for trump, i would just like to say thank you. from the bottom of my heart, thank you for ruining my life.

#sorry im really mad right now #im gonna go to sleep #maybe when i wake up this will all be a dream #us election #us politics #kamala harris #donald trump #election 2024 #2024 presidential election #us elections

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artemis32 · 1 month ago

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bnha, a hero reader with a yan who doesn’t think the reader should be a hero (world too dangerous etc etc). how would they stop reader from performing hero duties?

platonic (??) yandere All Might x reader

All Might, all the way. This man is anxious and the definition of a helicopter parent

Also, I'm getting to all my asks, so thank you so much to everyone who sent one in! <3 if you've literally ever sent me an ask or request, I promise, I see it, I'm getting to it (I don't hate you, promise)

bnha masterlist

This man is such a hypocrite. He shouldn't care this much about one person - one student.

You're old enough to make your own decisions, old enough to decide to be a hero. You're a good hero. He just-

He can't handle it.

This isn't a situation he's faced before, and he has no idea why it's different with you. Usually, he doesn't care. Hell, usually he's the one encouraging kids like you. Mirio and Izuku are prime examples of that, and Izuku was even younger than you are now when he was pushed down that path, so there's no good or even logical reason to excuse the way he's feeling now.

At first he tries to distance himself, tries to completely ignore you, convinced that will pull him out of whatever funky headspace he's in.

When that inevitably doesn't work, he ends up hovering like some damn helicopter parent, playing it off as a concerned teacher, eager to guide an impressionable youth.

It works for a while. Sort of.

People pick up on it eventually - fellow faculty, other students, you. He doesn't notice, or care, honestly. His methods, crude as they are, work, and if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Except, his methods aren't exactly as full proof as he thought, and that becomes glaringly obvious when you're away on an internship and word gets out a few days in that you were hospitalised after a particularly gruesome fight.

He blames himself more than anything else - probably more than he blames whatever low level villain hurt you either - something he might've discussed in therapy, if he ever actually went.

Once you return to classes, he only becomes worse. Days pass, then weeks, and he feels like he can hardly breathe when you're not within his direct line of sight. There were far too many what-ifs when he wasn't around, and, in an admittedly spur-of-the-moment decision, he snatches you off the street.

Well, snatch probably wasn't the right word. He, truthfully, just asked you to accompany him to... somewhere. Not that he remembers. He was a mess of anxiety, thinly veiled by terrible jokes and loud laughs, and none of that really even mattered anymore since you were safe now. Safe, and here, with him.

Of course, when he ran out of things to say, ways to stall, you quickly realised that dear old All Might did not, in fact, want heart-to-heart. And damn him if the fading trust and slight sliver of fear in your eyes didn't wring his heart out in his chest.

But he was doing what was best for you! You'd see that, eventually. He was doing his job, as a hero and as your mentor. He was number one for so long for a reason. He was older than you, wiser than you, and he knew what was best.

So what if you were scared for a little while? A little fear was healthy every now and then. It kept the youth respectful.

He was a hero. What good was a hero if he couldn't protect people? Especially the people he felt odd, warm, protective feelings for?

And, yeah, okay, maybe he hasn't exactly worked out all the semantics of your stay yet, but that was irrelevant! You were safe, and he'd cross those bridges when he got to them ('those bridges' being the fact that he was the top pro hero who regularly left the city, the country, for days, sometimes weeks on end - or the fact that, sooner or later, people would realise you'd disappeared off the face of the earth).

Yeah. Semantics.

The point, young one, was that you were safe! There was nothing safe about hero work. And, okay, maybe he might tell you small white lies to keep you complacent - 'this is part of the course', 'yes, of course you'll get to go home soon', 'mhm, yes, your parents know you're here, who do you think approved this?'

Lying to you is easier than telling the truth. It may make him a coward, but it makes you a fool too. You obviously don't believe him, but what would you do? How were you, a random teenage girl with an alright quirk, going to beat the number one hero? You weren't.

He handles you with the utmost care, like a puppy, or a piece of fine china. But God forbid you bring up the topic of hero work, never mind trying to escape. Sometimes he forgets his strength. And after the first time, hurting you doesn't weigh as heavily on his conscience as it used to. When he said he'd do whatever he had to, to keep you safe and by his side, he meant it. And if that means hurting you? So be it.

#.anon.#art answers #bnha #mha #yandere #dark content #female reader #yagi toshinori #all might #yandere all might #yandere all might x reader #yandere x reader #all might x reader #yagi toshinori x reader #yandere yagi toshinori #platonic yandere all might #platonic yandere

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singbluesxlver · 1 year ago

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Im so sick of north americans claiming all the time to be so inclusive and respectful to other cultures when in reality they're the most ignorant and self-centered people in the world.

Especially now that apparently being a "latino" seems to be just a trend.

And guess what! Disney took the opportunity to start releasing content from its new series, based on Latin America's (actually just Mexico, because for people in the US it is very difficult to understand that there are many countries besides Mexico in Latin America) culture, "Primos".

Created, directed, written by: people who know nothing about Latin America.

I am not going to dwell on the number of errors that JUST the opening song already has because the internet is already full of information about it.

But I do want to dwell on how part of the team behind this series is defending itself against the accusations of how racist their show is.

Myrna Velasco, who voices the main character in the series, recently posted a video on her ig stories making the following statement with an air of superiority in her voice:

"The Spanish language its not a Latin American language. Its a language that Spanish conquistadors forced upon latin american people (etc etc)"

(all of this happened because someone corrected a grammatically wrong sentence that she said in Spanish)

1- By that criteria, English is not a North American language.

2- Spanish has been spoken in Latin America for centuries. Whether you like it or not, that language (in all its shapes and colors, because the same Spanish is not spoken in Mexico as in Argentina as in Peru, etc.) is already part of our culture.

3- You dont like Spanish because its not native? ok then do it in Guarani, Quechua, Aimara, Nahuatl, etc

4- Why you can go speaking a very broken Spanish and get away with it but every time a Spanish speaker, after actually taking the time to learn your language (because it is impossible to communicate with you in any other way), is mocked and mistreated BY YOU for their accent even though they are forming grammatically perfect sentences??? (this goes to the majority of US population)

5- This woman claims to love Latin American culture but posts things like this one:

in conclusion, stop being so hypocritical and learn to look at what happens outside the United States, the rest of the world does not work the same way your country does or how your country thinks it works.

thanks for coming to my ted talk, I needed to get it off my chest.

chau

#primos #disney #oye primos #🤡

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hier--soir · 4 months ago

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may + june + july reads

the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde by r. l. stevenson [★★★★]

"Though so profound a double-dealer, I was in no sense a hypocrite; both sides of me were in dead earnest; I was no more myself when I laid aside restraint and plunged in shame, than when I laboured, in the eye of day, at the furtherance of knowledge or the relief of sorrow and suffering."

: ̗̀➛ a london lawyer, mr utterson, investigates strange occurrences between his old friend dr henry jekyll, and the evil edward hyde.

: ̗̀➛ a horror classic! coming in at a sweet 96-pages, it was easy to smash out in an evening. and despite the brevity of the text and the fact that it's over a century old, i found it insanely compelling and indeed pretty chilling at multiple points.

: ̗̀➛ there are some ridiculously funny lines in this. i believe he named the evil character hyde just so he could drop this banger: "'If he be Mr. Hyde,' he had thought, 'I shall be Mr. Seek.'"

: ̗̀➛ henry jekyll my sweet summer child, you flew way too close to the sun with this shit.

: ̗̀➛ "You must suffer me to go my own dark way." BARS.

babel: an arcane history by r. f. kuang [★★★★★]

"The poet runs untrammelled across the meadow. The translator dances in shackles."

: ̗̀➛ opening in the year 1828, a young boy from canton is orphaned by cholera and brought to london by a mysterious professor. he is trained in latin, ancient greek, and chinese, in preparation for the day he will attend oxford university's royal institute of translation - babel. the tower is the world's center for translation and silver-working, the magical craft that has so far brought unrivalled power to the british and supports the empire's ongoing colonisation of the world. but what happens when it is discovered that britain is pursuing an unjust war against china, and robin realises that serving babel means betraying his motherland.

: ̗̀➛ this book left me absolutely speechless. upon starting it i was immediately ashamed at how long it had taken me to pick this up considering all the hype. serious thanks to @seventeenpins for recommending this to me recently, you are the best for putting me onto this.

: ̗̀➛ beautifully crafted, incredibly intelligent, great central characters. i don't even know how to put into words what i felt about this one. and as someone who consumes a fair amount of translated literature [see: my love of ancient greek and roman classics] it tickled my interest around the biases and intricacy of translation so perfectly. you need to read it. please.

: ̗̀➛ have to include: "It should have been distressing. In truth, Robin found it was actually quite easy to put up with any degree of social unrest, as long as one got used to looking away."

: ̗̀➛ have to include #2: "So then where does that leave us? How can we conclude, except by acknowledging that an act of translation is then necessarily always an act of betrayal?"

: ̗̀➛ and absolutely cannot not include this iconic PBS diss: "He greatly enjoyed Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, though he could not say the same of the poems by her less talented husband, whom he found overly dramatic."

paradise rot by jenny hval [★★★★]

"But my dreams are full of apples, and in the dark my body slowly transforms into fruit: tonsils shrinking to seeds and lungs to cores. I dream of white flowers blossoming under my nails, as if under ice. Then my nails break, opening up like clams and in the finger flesh there are little sticky fruit pearls."

: ̗̀➛ jo is in a strange new country for university, living in a house with no walls, a roommate with no boundaries, and a home that seems increasingly more and more alive.

: ̗̀➛ so much piss in this one folks.

: ̗̀➛ jenny hval is a norwegian musician and this was her debut novel, and it was bizarre and haunting and disgusting and made me cringe and feel squeamish at many points, and yet i read it in one fell swoop. it grips you for 120-odd pages and when you're done it feels like you've been spit out disoriented.

mrs s by k. patrick [★★★]

"When she is not around, I invent her. When she is around, I invent her. It is not her fault."

: ̗̀➛ an australian butch lesbian travels to england to work in an elite boarding school, where she meets mrs s, the headmaster's wife. over a hot, restless summer, the two engage in an affair.

: ̗̀➛ i enjoyed this one decently enough. the writing style grew a bit tiresome, and the storyline seemed quite laissez-faire, but overall yes i enjoyed it. what can also grow tiresome for me is the woman-on-woman affair when one of them is married to a man - but maybe i've just read too much queer lit with no foreseeable happy ending lately, idk.

: ̗̀➛ the way the dialogue was structured [or perhaps, unstructured to a painful extent] was not my cup of tea at all.

: ̗̀➛ i was really tickled by her living in an annexe so close to the school nurse, who is very religious. the dynamic gave way to great passages like this: "I imagine her, at night, sending prayers my way, so sweet as to be malicious. In each of our interactions there is always the feeling that I would do better under her God. I don't mind her God, so tangible. The sexy Jesus in her bedroom. His body I too would die to have. Not just the chest but the legs, a footballer's legs, complex with muscle. Even those sad, raised palms. Brazen in their injuries. Such glamour." like hello??? incredible.

grey dog by elliott gish [★★★★]

"You called me a dirty little beast, and I have become as dirty and beastly a woman as there ever was."

"What is that quote from Othello, what Emilia says about men? They are all but stomachs, and we all but food; They eat us hungerly, and when they are full, they belch us."

: ̗̀➛ a 'literary horror novel' set in 1901 about the unmarried and almost 30 'spinster' ada byrd who accepts a teaching post in a small isolated town. she wants to be rid of her past, one 'riddled with grief and shame', but upon witnessing strange and grisly sights, ada begins to believe that something ancient and beastly is behind all the peculiarities in this little town. her confusion deepens, and ada's grip on what is reality, delusion, or traumatic memory, begins to blur and fail.

: ̗̀➛ body horror, gore, the horrors of being a woman, witchy business, descent into madness, women longing for women.

: ̗̀➛ because the entire text is written in first person diary entries, i found that it sometimes failed to establish a creepy atmosphere. although this issue was more prominent for me in the first half, while in the second half the diary entries acted as a great insight as to how unhinged she was becoming. slay.

: ̗̀➛ imo this is simply what happens to a woman when she is raised by a heinous father and ends up an adult surrounded by too many sexy older women!

the sleepwalkers by scarlett thomas [★★★]

"How many eyes can one storm have?"

: ̗̀➛ still reeling from the chaos of their wedding, evelyn and richard arrive on a tiny greek island for their honeymoon. it's the end of the season and a storm is brewing on the horizon. they check into the villa rosa, which has a peculiar owner named isabella, and everyone wants to talk about the famous sleepwalkers, a couple who stayed at the hotel recently and drowned.

: ̗̀➛ saw a tagline that coined this as 'patricia highsmith meets white lotus' and i'd agree. good mystery thriller with some action.

: ̗̀➛ this one was a touch slow at first [it's told in letters, dictated audio recordings, from different perspectives, etc] but ultimately gripped me and i thoroughly enjoyed the drama and mystery. newlyweds that hate each other's guts? yeah, bestie, i need to know why.

: ̗̀➛ i really got into some of the takes showing how evelyn and richard viewed each other. this really stuck with me: "I read infrequently, partly because every book change me, right down the level of my DNA. I didn't want to be changed so often. But you were able to hoover up contemporary culture without so much as a little belch afterwards. You just carried on being you."

: ̗̀➛ also let me fucking tell you, there was a line in this book that made me drop my kindle and GUFFAW in shock. page 88, HELLO. evelyn girl you kill me.

the drift by c. j. tudor [★★★]

"These days death had been laid bare for what it really was. An ending. Often brutal, seldom fair, rarely kind."

: ̗̀➛ a thriller-esque, horror-esque book about a deadly infectious virus, and the attempted survival of three seperate groups trapped in isolated circumstances in the icy wilderness. [this one is so hard to describe sorry]

: ̗̀➛ the book is told through three different pov's. i normally despise this but i actually didn't hate it in this case, although i did have favourites.

: ̗̀➛ boyfriend asked me to read this when he finished it and then watched me from across the room the almost whole time, pretending not to be staring whenever i looked up. and he was right, it was fast-paced, had some good twists and turns, and was enjoyable, albeit very different from what i normally read.

what have i done? an honest memoir about surviving post-natal mental illness by laura dockrill [★★★★]

"Put me out of my misery. I feel like a killer on the loose. I need to turn myself in."

"Or the one of New Mum having champagne and cake with the girls. Another doing 'date night' two weeks before her six-week check, like, 'Yes, we still have sex!' Mum is fitting back into her clothes; Mum is making papier-mâché piggy banks; drinking enough water; shaving her armpits; reading a bedtime story; going to a gig; playing peekaboo. Mum is keeping up with her favourite TV shows; reading the Booker longlist; being a good friend; making a healthy yet tasty cost-effective-probably-vegan meal; recycling; giving baby massage; sterilising. Mum is getting rid of her pregnancy knickers when they are the only knickers she truly likes; doing her taxes; walking the dog; donating to charity; freezing bananas; learning Japanese because why not? ... Oh look! Mum is abseiling down the Shard and still finding the time to express and write a blog about the whole experience."

: ̗̀➛ a memoir about a first-time mum's experience with post-partum psychosis, and her survival.

: ̗̀➛ this book was a heart-ache of a read. honest and raw and devastating and uplifting. often very very funny -- "People told Hugo, 'Don't go down the goal end, mate; it's like watching your favourite pub burn down.' Oh ha. Ha. Ha." -- i couldn't put it down.

: ̗̀➛ the end did start to feel a touch self-helpy which isn't necessarily my bag of tricks when it comes to non-fiction, but those inclusions felt warranted and fair after such an in-depth depiction of everything laura had gone through.

: ̗̀➛ serious mental health trigger warnings for this one. there is plenty of humour, but it gets very dark.

the death of jane lawrence by caitlin starling [★★]

"She dreamed of tearing out a rotted pit inside of him where his martyrdom resided."

: ̗̀➛ in an alternate version of victorian-era britain, jane shoringfield is seeking a marriage of convenience that will allow her to continue working, with all the benefits of being a married woman, and she finds this in dr augustine lawrence. however, he has one condition - she can never visit lindridge hall, his family manor outside of town, where he himself will sleep each and every night. but on their wedding night, an accident strands jane at the door in a rainstorm, and in place of her husband she finds a terrified, paranoid man who cannot tell reality from nightmare. by morning he is himself again, but jane knows something is terribly wrong at lindridge hall.

: ̗̀➛ i picked this up looking for a fun, spooky little read, but am sad to say that i absolutely did not like it. the characters were fickle, the plot twists were unsurprising and revealed poorly, and the storyline was all over the place. sadge!

: ̗̀➛ sold itself as a gothic ghost horror, but didn't live up to that at all [for me!] heavily inspired by crimson peak, and it doesn't care if you know it.

: ̗̀➛ also - when your 'independent strong female' mc marries a guy who lies constantly and makes up bullshit and every time she confronts him he boo-hoos so she forgives him immediately cause he really is a nice man?? womp womp.

: ̗̀➛ also also - way more cocaine in this than i expected.

my book rating system is as follows:

★ = i felt pure contempt the entire time

★★ = yeah it's a book

★★★ = i liked it!

★★★★ = good fucking book, damn

★★★★★ = blew my dick clean off and i'll throw a tantrum if everyone i know doesn't also read it and love it

if you want to share a book you love with me, please do! i am always looking out for new recs.

#jessie reads #books #if you've read any of these lets talk

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fiapartridge · 8 months ago

Text

he's a stranger! | mack + grace 🌷💌⭐️

macklin x hughes!sister

summary: grace wants to bring macklin to the sacred lake house and her brother, jack is not having it.

fia's notes 💌: soooo much dialogue, like no mack in here SORRY this is like a siblings + trevor and cole imagine lol <3 enjoy!

not proofread

In the heart of Michigan’s summer magic, nestled among towering pines and tranquil waters of Lake Michigan, stood the sacred Hughes family lake house. Throughout the year, the Hughes siblings would be spread far apart in different stretches of the country, one of them not even residing in the country, but at this lake house and on this plot of land, none of that mattered. Because for two full months, the four of them were there together, and it was always better than the last.

“What do you mean you’re inviting him here?” Jack yelled from the living room as Grace rolled her eyes, stirring a pitcher of ice cold lemonade from the kitchen. She stood in a forest green triangle bikini top and jean shorts, fanning herself from the scorching hot summer heat that was seeping into the house.

“It means exactly that, Jack,” she shrugged, throwing the lemonade into the fridge and fetching a container of strawberries in return. “And you better not be mean to him!”

Jack scoffed, peeling himself off the couch, his bare chest exposed as he stumbled into the kitchen. “You haven’t even met the kid yet! What if he’s crazy? You’re just gonna invite some stranger into the house like it’s nothing?”

“He’s not a stranger, Jack. You’re being dramatic.”

“Yeah? Well, you’re being under-dramatic!”

Grace laughed, shaking her head as she cut the strawberries into halves. “Oh, wise words, Mr. Harvard.”

“Very funny. You know, these college dropout jokes are getting real old.”

“Can’t be a college dropout if you never went to college, Jack,” Luke butted in, stomping down the stairs as he opened the fridge and immediately grabbed the lemonade Grace had just made.

“Hey! I just made that!” Grace shouted, her small knife pointing in Luke’s direction.

With his hands up, Luke dropped the pitcher onto the counter. “Hey, no need for weapons!”

“Can you guys shut up?” Quinn complained, Trevor in tow, as they sat on the barstools at the kitchen island. “We can hear you guys fighting from the lake.”

“Oh, did someone make lemonade?” Trevor asked, ushering the pitcher towards his direction. “Grab me a cup, Grace?”

“You’re 23, grow the fuck up and get your own cup,” Grace scolded, her hands crossed over each other as Trevor stood up, a frown etched onto his face.

“Someone’s angry,” Trevor mumbled to Luke as he stretched for a cup at the top cabinet.

At that point, everyone was angry about something. Jack didn’t want Macklin to come, Grace wanted the complete opposite, Luke was deprived of the lemonade and was now watching Trevor sip it with ease, Quinn was tired of everyone’s bullshit, and Trevor got yelled at by the youngest Hughes, but truth-be-told, he was more scared of her than anyone else in the family—other than Ellen.

“Guys!’ Jack announced from his spot by the entryway of the kitchen. “Tell me I’m not crazy—”

“You’re crazy—”

“I haven’t even said anything yet, Luke,” Jack scolded as Luke shrugged his shoulders in response, diving into something on his phone. “Okay! Gracelynn here wants to bring a complete stranger to the lakehouse. That’s stupid, right?” he asked.

“Well, haven’t you done that, too? Like all of the girls you’ve brought here,” Cole added from the backdoor, fanning his red sunburn in search of the aloe vera that Grace restocks in the fridge every summer.

“That doesn’t count.”

Grace scoffed, her back resting on the cool counter behind her. “Why not?”

“Because—”

“Because you’re a hypocrite! Macklin’s gonna come here and you guys are going to enjoy him—or at least pretend to.”

Luke stood up, his head pointing up from his phone. “We’re talking about Mack?”

“Yes?” Jack agreed confusingly, his brows furrowing at the younger boy.

“I thought this was some random dude! I’m on G’s side.”

“Oh, come on!” Jack groaned. “He is random!”

“Don’t act like you weren’t complimenting his puck protection like two weeks ago,” Luke scoffed, stealing a sip of lemonade from Trevor’s cup.

“Hah!” Grace jumped. “You like him! Admit it!”

“I don’t like him,” Jack huffed. “But... you can bring him if you want, I guess.”

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Grace asked, her hand cupping her right ear. “I don’t think I caught that.”

“You can bring him,” he groaned, defeated.

Putting down her knife, Grace jumped up and down before running towards Jack and throwing her arms around the boy. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Mirroring her actions, he threw his arms around Grace. “He better not be a weirdo and murder us in our sleep.”

“He won’t! Well, I don’t think he will,” she smiled. “Also, you’re really sweaty.”

“Oh well, fuck you then.”

#macklin celebrini x hughes!sister 🌟#jack hughes #luke hughes #quinn hughes #trevor zegras #cole caufield

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dark-frosted-heart · 4 months ago

Text

Roger Barel Main Route - Mad Love Chapter 23

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there

Royal Hospital doctor: With our numerous experiments, we doctors will advance medicine in Britain. It will certainly make our country prosper. You’re a doctor too, aren’t you? Surely you understand our feelings.

They try to butter him up, only for their own sakes.

With their lives in his hands, Roger—

Roger: Yeah, I get it.

With eyes full of pity…

Roger: —I get that you’re all a bunch of damn hypocrites.

The anger permeating the air was stung.

Roger: For the sake of your country, people, the world. Those are all great causes with good intentions. But they’re not excuses to justify your cause. …That goes for the Privy Council too. You lot have a strong cause, for the sake of “Her Majesty”. Still, that’s not an excuse either for you to do whatever you want.

When I thought back to the sorrow I felt from the kidnapped youths back at the warehouse, I felt resentment well up inside me.

These people didn’t even view humans as humans.

(...Before we were almost killed, we were all called “silent offerings”)

Roger: I…No, we Crown and Kate have condemned you for all the evil you lot have done.

Since meeting Roger, I’ve confronted many evils.

Many were unforgivable and caused lives to be lost. There were even times when I cried and almost despaired.

Roger: Every time we nip evil in the bud, I hear your filthy voices. “Sacrifices need to be made for the sake of our cause.” “No, they should be grateful for providing for us with their lives.” You think you’re gods…?

Everyone in the world is equal. Strip off our flesh and we’re all the same.

Despite that, people easily assign value to others and use that as a reason to take lives.

Roger, who’s a “Cursed One”, had been fighting against this despair.

He understood better than anyone that the voices of “the Cursed”—the voices of the weak and the few, were laughably easy to drown out.

(I’ll always remember that look of despair in Roger’s eyes.)

~~ Flashback ~~

Roger: …It’s laughable, isn’t it…? I swore to myself that I’d tame my curse. I wouldn’t let fate drive me mad like God’s whim. I resolved to never betray anyone unknowingly. ..And yet. You can’t fight it…just by your will alone?

Kate: …

Roger: Roger: Is this how I meet my tragic end? …Surrendering myself to my curse…

~~ End flashback ~~

Yet he stood back up—and fought against despair again.

(...The only thing I can do as Roger’s Fairytale Keeper and partner is to see this through to the very end. And)

Royal Hospital doctor: …Don’t act so arrogant! Just shut your mouth and give it to us already.

One of the people who was crawling stood up unsteadily.

Royal Hospital doctor: Hand it over…

Kate: …

He reached for the medicine box held in my hands.

But I immediately pulled out the gun from under my skirt and pointed it at him.

Kate: Stop right there. If you try to steal this from me…I’ll shoot.

(The only thing I can do is see this through to the end)

(And help Roger)

(Just like how Roger’s helped me so many times)

I placed a finger on the trigger—

I’ll send you to the afterlife immediately.

How does it feel to have your life in my hands?

Do you understand how your victims felt now? +4 +4

Kate: Do you understand how your victims felt now?

Royal Hospital doctor: Eek…Help, don’t kill me.

Roger: The youths you killed didn’t even get to beg for their lives. Don’t tell me you didn’t know.

I don’t know if I can actually shoot someone yet.

(I’m just threatening him, but…)

But it was enough to stop the doctor from trying to steal the antidote.

Roger: …

Roger smiled at me for a moment as if to say “great work” before grabbing the doctor by the head.

Roger: Listen, there’s no such thing as superiority or inferiority among humans. And that’s why I’ll never forgive anyone who uses their cause to justify devaluing human life.

Privy Council Lord: …Then why did you make the antidote? Haha, you’re actually afraid of killing us, aren’t you? In the end, you Crown are all still Her Majesty’s lapdogs!

Still crawling on the ground, the Privy Council lord spat his words out like a curse.

Roger: A lapdog? Haha…I wish.

Roger took an antidote out of the medicine chest and popped the cap.

He then grabbed the Privy Council Lord by the jaw—

Roger: Unfortunately for you, we’re savage dogs. I made this antidote so you wouldn’t escape through death.

Privy Council Lord: …Escape through death?

Roger: From now on, you’ll be spending a hellish time in eternity paying for your sins. You’d wish you were dead…

Demons aren’t just the ones that don’t view humans as humans.

They are also in charge of executing other devils.

(And it’s my duty as Fairytale Keeper to witness Roger’s sins)

Roger: If you don’t take this antidote, you’ll only have about 42 hours left to live. Now, make your choice. Have an unsightly death or live crawling through the depths of hell.

Royal Hospital doctor: …I’m in hell…either way…

Privy Council Lord: You…villain…

Roger: The best of them. I gave up living as a good person with an idealistic cause a long time ago.

For some reason, when I looked at Roger’s back, I saw “a way of life I didn’t have a choice in”.

A future as a “doctor who saved lives” that could never be achieved again.

…How much time had passed since that moment?

Looking as if they were given a ticket to hell, the doctors and Privy Council took the antidote.

They were scared of the “fear of death” that they had been continuously inflicting on others.

Roger: …

Roger watched on in silence.

There weren’t any words that could explain how he felt at the moment.

(However…)

I reached out for Roger’s arm which just hung there and took his hand in mine.

—Suddenly, unknown footsteps could be heard.

(Who…?)

Nica: Kind of selfish and unsightly for you all to be so scared of death after killing so many people.

Nica looked at them with indifference, as if he were looking at bugs.

Kate: …Nica.

Roger: …You again. How’d you get in here?

Nica: No need to look so scary. I’m just bringing some good news. Here, look.

Nica handed us a tabloid.

Kate: “Illustrated Police News”...?

“A shocking revelation! The intimate relationship between the Privy Council and the doctors of Gracefield Royal Hospital, and all scandalous evil deeds!

The page was filled with a sensational article and portraits.

And the portraits looked just like the bad people before me.

Nica: It’s a pretty good article. Had a local caricaturist do some portraits. Then I put all the information together and submitted them anonymously.

Roger: You?

Nica: Did it under my king’s orders. It was surprisingly easy. Cheap papers like this don’t care much for authenticity.

After seeing the news article, the faces of the Privy Council and doctors turned pale.

Privy Council Lord: Huh…Aaahh!

Nica: What, you’re surprised? From here on, the worst future awaits for you. Since you’re going to die socially anyway, wouldn’t it be faster to announce it to the public?

In a way, Vogel helped Crown’s condemnation.

Kate: W-why…

Nica: Don’t ask such a simple question, robin. We Vogel came to Britain to deepen our friendship. To quote our king—

Ring: Dari, this “Illustrated Police News”...

Darius: A present from us Vogel to help Crown’s condemnation. At any rate, this is a good article. Nica’s did his job perfectly.

Ring: If this gets out, those people…they’ll never be able to live a normal life, will they?

Darius: Yes, they won’t. That’s why the article was written.

Ring: …Sorry, I don’t understand…

Darius smiled lovingly at Ring’s honesty.

Darius: I suppose I’ll just have to explain it to my cute Ring. Regarding this matter, some members of the Privy Council and doctors came into contact with a method that would remove curses from the Cursed. Even if incomplete, information is information. To erase the memory, you either have them die—or be driven off to somewhere where they cannot be heard. For instance, being locked away in a jail cell for the rest of your life.

Ring: …That method’s just like you.

Darius: Hehe, is that a compliment?

The angelic man scrutinized the human as if looking down on him from the heavens.

Darius: I don’t have the ambition to get rid of curses—that just gets in my way.

Ring: What about Roger Barel?

Darius: Hm?

Ring: There would be no point if we don’t also eliminate Roger Barel, who knows how to get rid of curses.

Darius smiled at the honest killing intent he was fond of.

Darius: Yes, you’re right, Ring. However, we can’t eliminate him yet.

Ring: Why?

Darius: I’ve always wanted a doctor. We can invite him to join our family to stop his pointless ambitions.

It was like the whim of a god.

Darius: Ah, right. There’s one thing I’d like to ask you. It appears that Nica has given information to the Fairytale Keeper. That has saved her as well. Why do you think that is?

The aim of his whims were like lightning, you never knew who it would strike.

Ring: Perhaps Nica…wants to get rid of curses. …I can’t understand difficult topics. Besides…I don’t know what Nica’s thinking.

Darius: Hmmm, even though you’re twins?

Ring: …

Darius gently placed his hand on his crestfallen watchdog’s head while he was at a loss for words.

Ring: But Nica and I are on your side. Family would never betray family.

Darius: I see. Hehe, I’m glad. My family has good kids.

Roger and I ran after Nica after he threw the tabloid and left the jail cell.

Roger: Hey, older twin.

Nica looked back from the end of the corridor.

Nica: What? I’m not into having long chats with men.

Roger: I’ve been thinking about something ever since I saw you twins. …Have we met before?

(Huh…)

Nica: …

As I stared at the two in shock, Nica suddenly smiled.

Nica: Nope. Don’t have an irritating face like yours in my data.

Roger: That so. Nevermind then, that was a strange question.

Nica shifted his gaze from Roger to me.

Nica: Oh, Robin. Congrats on clearing the game. Your expressions when you were fighting alone weren’t bad. Let’s play again if you’re ever in the mood. Bis bald (see you).

Kate: …Yeah. “See you.”

—The sound of footsteps leaving resounded.

Nica: …

As I watched Nica’s retreating form…, for a moment, his gaze turned to the window as if remembering something.

For some reason, that image left a lasting impression—

—It was like there was an inorganic memory etched into my heart.

…Come, —come.

Now, come quietly! Subjects 404 and 405.

Nica: …

“As Fairytale Keeper, I will write down the aftermath.

The Privy Council members involved were all dismissed and in addition to being under close surveillance, the Privy Council was drastically reformed.

The doctors were all stripped of their medical licenses and dismissed, and the police became involved in an investigation at Gracefield Royal Hospital.

As for the criminals that Roger turned over to the police, they never saw the light of day again.

—That was the living hell that awaited them.

This is the entirety of Roger Barel’s condemnation.”

I stopped typing on my typewriter.

(Today’s exactly 1 month since that night)

Having kept Crown’s secret, I was released from my duty as Fairytale Keeper as promised.

To quote Alfons, I was officially free.

Being free meant that I could make my own choices.

Kate: …

I glanced at the clock and left my room.

—To choose what to do “from this point on”.

#ikemen villains #ikevil #ikevil jp #ikevil translations #roger barel #ikevil roger #ikevil roger route

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fatuismooches · 2 years ago

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i'll brainrot with you about dottore and his sick! s/o:

clearly with s/o's conditions it's not optimal to go outside in the freezing cold, but one day the snowfall is so much more gentle outside and something like this is a rare occasion in snezhnaya. would dottore indulge them (of course with plenty of precautions taken) or would he rather not risk it at all?

your writing paints such vivid pictures in my head and i honestly love the comfort and warmth your work brings :]]

♡ 𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐃𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞 ♡

synopsis: Your poor health and fragile condition have consistently gotten in the way of various activities for many years. But that was going to change today, as you were going to take your first step into the flaky goodness of pure, white snow.

includes: dottore w/ gn! reader

notes: Related to the posts under my fragile reader tag. Thank you very much, I'm very glad my writing makes you happy! This was so cute, I originally planned for it to be only a couple hundred words but I went overboard and decided to make it a full-blown piece.

You used to enjoy the concept of cold. Growing up in a hot country had you deeply curious about the kind of weather that would warrant people wearing dozens of layers, bundling up to the point where they were barely recognizable. You wanted to go somewhere that snowed one day, you once told your lover as he sat at his desk, tinkering with Archons knows what. Dottore only grunted in response, saying that if research led him there, you would accompany him. As a matter of fact, there were some Ruin Guards he wanted to take a look at in Dragonspine. You hummed, enjoying the moment as you continued to flip through the picture book.

But now, you couldn’t bring yourself to like the cold. You think that if you weren’t sick, you’d enjoy the weather in Snezhnaya much more, but the cold permeates your body even though you’re inside the lab. (Dottore had to force Pantalone to give him more funds to install more heaters.) You didn’t like to even walk through the halls of Dottore’s complicated maze-like lab because they were too big, making the cold air suffocate you all around. (Unless you’re accompanied by a clone. Somehow, Dottore had implemented a feature into his clones to heat up and become warm, so when you’d cling to them, you wouldn’t be cold anymore. You enjoyed it thoroughly because the reactions of the clones were cute.)

Many days, you spent the time looking out the tightly sealed window at the snow. Despite living in the snow-covered nation for so long, you had never sunken a foot into the powdery fluff. When Zandik was recruited into the Fatui, you were unconscious during the trip because your body surely would not be able to handle such an extraneous journey. How would it feel, you thought? You’ve frequently asked some of your favorite clones to tell you how the snow felt. (You felt slightly embarrassed asking your real lover.) Apparently, most of the time the snow was deep and crunchy from continuous snowfall. If you weren’t careful where you walked, half of your leg could get swallowed underneath! Many children liked to form things like balls out of the snow and play games with them. But sometimes, very rarely, the snow lightens and melts, depending on how the Tsaritsa feels. It’s a beautiful scene, apparently.

You had lost faith in the Gods long ago after your mysterious illness suddenly struck you (Zandik never cared about them in the first place), but you hoped and prayed to any force that was willing to listen to you - please let the snow ease up, just a bit. It was a bit hypocritical since you did not like the cold, but you still desired to experience it like a normal person. You could bear the pain if only to have fun for a couple of minutes. You did not tell your lover this; one, because you knew it was impossible with your condition, and two, you did not want to bother him with your frivolous wants. But it seemed like you were too obvious with your intentions, as one of the first things you’d do in the morning was drag yourself out of bed, despite the great amount of energy it took, to go to your favorite window and peer outside.

“You seem to be quite interested in watching the snow lately, aren’t you?” The deep voice behind you made you jump.

“Zandik! Oh, you scared for there,” you pressed a hand to your heart and quickly took a seat that was already permanently placed near the window, already tired from the past few minutes. Your lover walked toward you, hands carefully placed behind his back, each step calculated. You couldn’t help but find some happiness in that - the way he walked was always so commanding and enchanting somehow, hypnotizing too.

“The weather here is quite different from Sumeru,” you observed. “I can’t help but be intrigued by it.”

“Is that so? It is quite boring to me. The landscape is always the same and it is rather hard to conduct experiments outside because of it.”

“Heh, it’s always the experiments and research with you. At least try to enjoy it,” you teased, rolling your eyes at him playfully. Dottore shook his head and gently flicked your forehead, causing you to pout.

“Furthermore, the cold isn’t good for you. I believed you didn’t like it, anyway,” Dottore scoffed.

“I know,” you said softly. “But I still want to experience it,” the last part was a mumble that was meant for yourself, but Dottore heard it anyway, making his eyes widen as a thought began to quickly form.

“Do you… want to go outside and see the snow?”

The fact that you were caught made you bolt up straight and quickly try to deny it. “No, no, I’m fine. It was just a fleeting thought,” you quickly reassured him.

Dottore doesn’t know why he didn’t realize it sooner. Of course you would be bored, waking up every day to the same redundant routine, watching everyone go about their daily lives while you sat there, helpless to do anything besides wait for him to cure you. Of course you would want to do something new, after hearing the same repetitious lines of how you’ll get better soon, how he’s working on a new medicine, how it’ll all be over soon, but when was “soon” coming? How long has the envy of others been eating you up? The thought of that made his smile slip.

A soft goodbye snapped him out of his thoughts. A clone had come to administer your daily medicine and get you ready for the day. Dottore quickly put his usual smirk back on and nodded at you. Your gentle smile and a wave bid him farewell, as the clone wrapped his arm around you to support you as you walked away. But Zandik was still thinking. When was the last time he had seen you with a big smile? A big, goofy one that stretched your lips beautifully and made your face hurt from smiling that hard. The answer was, he did not know. The most he could recall was from his Akademiya days, where you would greet him with one of those grins every morning, always a ball of energy.

The fact followed him throughout the day as he worked. The mere idea that it was bothering him so much was simply absurd. But he could not forget about the times his clones has reported to him about the times you cried. When you refused to leave your room some days or didn’t want to eat. He was not one for any type of comfort, not when his hands had committed some of the most wicked acts to man. How could he be, when the first thing on his mind was to hurt others, but the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you?

He did not know what to do, where to place his hands or if saying something would make the situation worse. He did not know what to do other than let you rest your head on his shoulder, allowing you to take his hand and place it on your head, giving him the okay to stroke your hair. He let you babble to your heart’s content and awkwardly wiped your tears away, for when he looked into your painfully bleak eyes that were once filled with life, he did not think he could refuse you.

It was an odd feeling for him. He took pleasure in seeing the pain of others, delighting at the moment when they lost all hope. He found it amusing when others took a stand against him, only to see their expression fall when they realized it was fruitless. But you? The thought of that happening to you made him… He had to do something.

—

One day you woke up, ready to live out another normal and boring day. As you sleepily rubbed your eyes, you noticed something was a bit off. Usually, you could hear the wind howling and the snow slamming against the windows, even if it was just a little bit. But there was nothing. As you lay on the bed, collecting enough energy to get out of bed, a glimmer of hope grew within you. With a great push, you heaved yourself out of bed and made a beeline to the window. You sat down on the chair, and pulled the curtains to the side, prepared to be disappointed, but what you saw blew you away.

The snow had melted significantly, leaving a moderate and easily walkable layer on the ground. The snowfall had reduced greatly, and it no longer pounded on the window. Instead, it flew down calmly from the sky, which was still gray, but it was a beautiful, hazy kind of gray. Now that there weren’t mass amounts of snow blowing your view, you noticed there was some kind of river around the lab. It was still frozen over, but the ice sparkled beautifully and reflected the snow-covered trees. Speaking of trees, you didn’t know it was possible for such boring things to look so pretty. Copious amounts of snow rested on the limbs, occasionally slumping to the ground with a thud, and the process kept repeating as snowfall continued.

Your jaw was slack the whole time, as you continued to take in the breathtaking scenery. Snezhnaya just got ten times better, you thought.

“I see you’ve seen the change in weather, [Name]. It seems to be to your liking.”

“Eep!” you started at the assertive voice that was practically in your ear. Dottore had snuck up on you while you were too entranced by the view to notice him. “You need to stop doing that,” you scolded him.

His deep chuckle tugged at your heartstrings. “To think that after this many times, my experiment’s results have not changed. Truly fascinating.”

You tried to ball your hands into fists to prevent yourself from blushing. “A-Anyway, you should have woken me up earlier! I didn’t think this was possible!” you fretted, still in utter shock at this.

“That, I could not do. You know your body requires a great amount of rest.” You couldn’t argue with that. He was right.

“Now, is there something you want to do?” It was as if he had somehow planned for this to happen.

You fiddled with your sweater, trying to find the words for your outlandish request. “Sooo, um, I know this may not be possible, but can I go outside? I know with my health and stuff it may be hard but… just for a bit, please,” your voice got quieter and quieter towards the end of your sentence. You bit your lip in anticipation and nervously kept your eyes trained on the rug-covered floor. The few seconds of silence that passed felt endless.

“Yes, you may-”

“Really?!?!”

Your legs were swinging happily, and there it was. Pearly whites peeked out as you grinned cheerfully and you threw your hands up into the air. The smile he had not seen in far too long.

“But, I will accompany you, and you must stay by me at all times. You must follow all of my directions as well. Do you understand?”

A walk with your lover too? “Yes, yes I’ll do anything you ask!” you easily complied. You gathered all of your energy and squeezed your partner as hard as you could (which, wasn’t that hard, but to you it was) taking him off guard. You buried your face into his midsection and refused to let go, your words of thanks being muffled from being so close to him. Dottore was stiff at first but then eased into your embrace, fingering a cord of your hair.

You were feeling a burst of energy from this exciting news, so you had to do one more thing. You released him, and when you looked up, you could see that same self-assured, confident smile that you loved. Before he could speak again, you tugged on his blue ascot with as much force as you could summon, pulling him farther down to your level allowing you to smash your lips onto his. Catching him off guard allowed you to be in control for a couple of seconds, but it is quickly relinquished as your lover takes over quickly, effortlessly deepening the kiss. When the two of you parted, he had an almost smug grin on his face, displaying his pointy shark-like teeth.

“My my, quite eager, aren’t we? I have not seen these kinds of surprises since those old days.”

“Well,” you pecked both of his soft cheeks again, “you know I always make sure my doctor knows how I feel.” At that point, there was a knock on the door and one of Dottore’s clones came in to help you with your morning routine.

“Go about your day. I will come to get you when it’s time.” You smiled and squeezed his hand once more as you rose from the chair. Dottore’s hands returned behind his back as he watched the clone and you leave.

“Perhaps I should start to add new variables to my experiment… the results are quite interesting indeed.”

—

You could not focus on anything for the whole time. Your mind was all over the place thinking about how satisfying it would be to sink your foot into the fluffy goodness.

Apparently, Dottore had designed some kind of special jacket for you to wear, along with a scarf, gloves, earmuffs, boots, and more. It had some kind of built-in heater somehow, which made everything consistently warm including your body. Normally you’d listen to his rambles on how he created it and such, but you were too giddy at the thought of freaking snow. (And also how he took the time to make all this stuff for you. It probably only took him a short amount of time considering how intelligent he was, but the action warmed your heart.)

There were quite a few clones in the lab area watching you. You think that they seemed happy for you. One of them was helping you put the gear on while your lover set down some ground rules. Zandik also had on a big fluffy coat, which made him look rather cute. You kind of wanted to fit yourself inside of it with him.

“First, you must stay by my side at all times. You’ll probably have to hold onto my arm to steady yourself. We will be following a path. This means no straying in any other direction, at least without my permission. Of course, if you feel that you can’t handle the weather anymore, let me know immediately. Do you agree to abide by these rules?”

You held back a sigh and a laugh. You knew that all of these precautions were necessary but they were still a drag. Plus, the way your lover said it all seriously as if your very existence was on the line made you want to giggle.

“Yes, Zandik. I agree to all of your rules,” you huffed as the clone finished zipping up the jacket. “My common sense is still intact, you know.”

Even though he did not show it at all, Dottore was the slightest bit uneasy. There were many things he did not understand or know about your illness. Would the sudden change in the environment trigger you? He was not sure, but he already prepared for the worst. If anything, it would be a learning experience too - to see how much your body could handle. He was ready to take notes in his head.

“Come here.”

You slowly trekked your way toward him, getting used to the feel of the long boots. It was hard to imagine wearing these every day, but you soon fell into your lover’s chest as he began to stroke your hair.

“Well then, let us go,” he wrapped a steady arm around your waist to help you balance. “Watch the lab for me,” Dottore directed the other clones as they waved goodbye to you.

They were so cute, to be honest. Especially the ones from the Akademiya days.

—

You did not realize the extent of how big Dottore’s lab was until now. There were so many paths and rooms you walked by that you had no idea existed. What was beyond those doors? Some questions were better left unanswered. You were just letting your partner guide you as you clung to his side (the walking was a lot) until you reached a great, big door with a keypad.

“Are you ready?”

You eagerly nodded.

“And you do still remember the-”

“Yes, Zandik, I remember everything you told me,” you groaned. “Please just open the door already.”

“Patience, [Name],” he chuckled. “I look forward to seeing your reaction.” He let go of you and typed a whole long password on the keypad. And in an instant, loud noises exuded from the door as it began to open from the sides.

The first thing you felt was the puff of cold air hitting your cheeks, instinctively making you raise your arms to cover it. In a couple of seconds, the door opened completely and you could feel the light shine down on you. You put your hands down, and the snowy, outside world was laid before you.

It was majestic. The snow has managed to be untainted by any other substances, allowing it to be a pristine white that covered the landscape. Slowly, you took a few steps forward as Dottore carefully watched you, until you were standing at the edge where the floor ended, and the snow began. You took a quick glance at your lover and he motioned for you to go on. And so you did. You stepped into the snow.

The first thing you noticed was the crunch of the snow under your boots. It was oddly satisfying. And the way your foot sunk so easily into, it kind of reminded you of quicksand. But you could kick it around so easily, yet you could see it was hard enough to be used to form something solid. The cold hit you like a ton of bricks, but you were doing everything in your power to withstand it. The enhanced gear from your partner helped a lot. But, all you could say was wow. You were starting to get a bit jealous of the people who could walk in such surroundings every day with ease.

Dottore on the other hand was quite satisfied. The scenery was not what he found appealing. Rather, it was you. He found no interest in such worldly things, but your reactions were ever-changing and amusing to him. A snowflake fell on your nose and melted. You wrinkled your nose at the unfamiliar feeling. And he couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

“Hold onto me. The road is quite icy and slippery. You need to be very careful.” Zandik linked his arms with you, and you gratefully reciprocated.

You could not keep your eyes off anything and everything you saw. You loved Sumeru, but Snezhnaya was starting to grow on you. It was beautiful. But what you loved, even more, was talking to Zandik. You two had not had this much time together in far too long. He enthusiastically prattled on about his experiments, his creations. He even told you about his clones’ journey to Sumeru, and how the almighty Traveler was powerless against them. You indulged him of course. You had always loved his voice, and you found it rather endearing when he’d go on his rambles.

Dottore intentionally made sure the pace was slow and steady, so as to not rush your body or make you too tired. But of course, even after only a bit of time passed, you needed to rest. Thankfully, the two of you reached some kind of gazebo with a couple of benches inside. You had no idea this existed, and it seemed Dottore didn’t either, which didn’t surprise you. That man probably only cared about the entrance and exit to his lab.

The bench was cold but you did not care. Having your lover with you for this long already made you feel warm and fuzzy. Furthermore, you’d be crazy not to take advantage of the situation. You called his name and before you could make a move, he spoke.

“How do you feel?”

“Huh?”

“Has your heart rate increased since the exposure to the snow and cold? Do you feel light-headed? How easily can you move your arms and legs?”

“O-oh, well… um, I feel cold. My heart is a bit fast from the walking, but nothing out of the ordinary. My legs hurt from the walk too… but I’m used to it.”

“Interesting…” Zandik put his hand to his chin as he seemed to think. You sighed, and shifted closer to him, beginning to run your hands up his coat, which clearly grabbed his attention but he watched you silently. Your hands reached his soft cheeks and brushed over the cold exterior of his mask.

“You know, you should take this off more often,” you suggested as your hands began to creep under the sides of the mask. “There’s no one around…” you hummed. Dottore made no move to stop you so you easily slipped the mask off, revealing his sharp crimson eyes boring into you, and scars from long ago. Of course, you couldn’t help but smile at the face of your lover.

You moved in to press your lips against his, pleased at how you could now gently trace your fingers over his scars. No matter how long you knew him, he was sensitive to touch around that area, so you always made sure to be careful.

It was an odd, but strangely good feeling, Dottore thought. One he did not know he missed, as you began to pepper kisses along the top of his face. It had been a while since the two of you had kissed for so long, which was a result of your lack of liveliness due to your illness. It seems the new surroundings really did help you. He would have to keep that in mind.

“You’re so cute,” you giggled. He frowned at that and grabbed both your wrists, pushing your back onto the bench, and making you yelp.

“Enough of that. I believe that all of this has gone to your head,” Dottore’s domineering tone was back again.

“I was just- eep!” Your words were cut short as Zandik’s lips began to mark your neck.

“The human body’s temperature can go up a substantial amount just from kissing. Would you care to experiment the limits of that with me? You would be the perfect test subject,” you felt his unhinged grin spread against your neck.

“After all, I wouldn’t want you becoming too cold now, hmm?” His impossible strength easily overpowered you as he moved to hold both your wrists with one hand, while his free one rested on your thigh.

As you relinquished yourself to him, your lips were claimed an innumerable amount of times, a clear reminder of who you belonged to.

—

You had to turn in early for the night. The miniature adventure was so, so fun, and it felt like you kicked your illness in the ass for a bit, but now you really had to get some rest to recover what little strength you had. Surprisingly, Zandik was there with you this time, instead of one of his clones.

“...I’m sleepy, Zandik.”

“Of course. Your body has experienced much more physical exertion than usual. It needs time to relax.” You sighed, letting the warmth of the blankets begin to take you to dreamland.

“Hey, Zandik?”

“Yes, [Name]?”

“Remember when we were in the Akademiya, and during the night, I’d go down into your bunk bed and sleep with you? Hehe…”

“Yes, I remember rather clearly, the intrusion of my privacy and theft of my pillows,” he sighed. The first time you did that, he did not expect to be entranced by the sunlight cascading onto your peaceful face, the fluttering of your eyelashes, and the occasional quirk of your lips as you clearly dreamt of something good. But he had no knowledge of how to handle these feelings, so he shoved you off the tiny bed, rudely waking you up. You ended up walking around the Akademiya with a bump on your head after that.

“I was trying to give you hints, Zandik. You were just dense,” you pouted. “Hey, you should come and lay with me for a bit. Like the old days.”

Dottore was hesitant. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, rather, he was so incredibly busy, especially after today. To be more precise, he felt that time not spent on finding a cure for you was time inefficiently used (most of the time.)

You tugged on his sleeve pleadingly. “Just for five minutes, until I nod off…”

He couldn’t bring himself to deny you, as he slipped under the covers with you. The softness of the mattress, plush blankets, and pillows that had your scent almost made him do a double take. It had been a long time since he was in a bed in general. Perhaps just a few hours of rest wouldn’t hurt. It would boost his effectiveness drastically…

You immediately scooted your body towards his and pressed it into his, nudging your face into his chest. He came to rest his hand on your head, while the other was loosely thrown over your waist.

“I miss you,” you softly uttered. He did not respond, nor did you expect an answer - what could he say anyway? The soft stroking on your head was more than enough for you at this moment, and it quickly lulled you to sleep.

“Thank… you.” You were out like a light, while your lover looked at you, absentmindedly fiddling with a strand of your hair.

It was no simple task to make this happen. But as a scholar, of course, he was able to negotiate. For once, it wasn’t for his own gain, but for you. The results? It was a complete and utter success.

Dottore could not lie, he felt as though he was back at the Akademiya with you. He remembers the two of you walking down the hallways, your chatty and sweet self a stark contrast to his rather irritated and know-it-all aura. How you would hug him from behind late in the night as he worked at his desk, begging and whining for him to go to sleep as you both had long lectures in a few hours.

He admittedly wants to see you take the first step into a raging blizzard. He wants to see you brave the cold with ease. He wants to see you swing your sword without abandon again, not afraid to take on anyone in a verbal or physical fight. He wanted his assistant back: the one who would be ready to jump down the throat of someone who dared to question him, the one who organized his notes in the most efficient manner.

The God of Wisdom once told him that his research was insulting, contradictory to the rules and ways of life. Now that he looked back on it, he found it amusing - even a Godly being was held back by such drivel. But it did not matter to him. There was no rule or barrier he wasn’t willing to cross in order to cure you, as he had already done it multiple times with no remorse. He would oversee your absolute recovery personally.

After all, there were many more snowy days to come.

Bonus:

“You know, Arlecchino, I saw the most interesting thing the other day,” a soft voice echoed throughout the room.

“Hmm? What was it?”

“I happened across our lovely Doctor going into Her Majesty, The Tsaritsa’s chambers. For what, I wonder? Hehe…”

“...I guess that [Name] person truly does mean something to him, if he was willing to go that far.”

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #dottore x reader #il dottore x reader #il dottore #dottore fluff #genshin impact il dottore #fatui harbingers x reader #fatui harbingers #fatui x reader #dottore angst #genshin dottore #fragile reader <3

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zimt-deathnote · 5 months ago

Note

What is the relationship of the Wammy kids with animals/pets? Do they like them?, Did they ever have one?, Do the 30s versions of Mellodramattic/Near have one? o3o

...Do you have a pet?...

I feel like I get a lot of pet asks lately and I'll try to answer them all at once haha! I don't think any of them has any special relationship to pets in general and I don't think any of them would ever get one.

@imninakk gave Near a service dog and I wholeheartedly support this headcanon 🤍 I mean check this out if you haven't, it's so good -> Poe

And the closest M2 ever get to a pet is (at least for the 2.1 fellas) Chris and Holly's golden retriever Bertram!

To give you just a little bit of context:

Chris was put in a witness protection programme by L after he died. He had to change his entire identity, new name, new job, new social circle, new country, etc etc. I headcanon he was living in Ghana for the past 5 years. He met Holly there, they married. Chris thinks Matt is dead and is losing his mind /pos over a phone call from Matt shortly before the end of canon Death Note, saying he wants to come see him. Skip forward a few months, Matt and Chris have a super emotional reunion, with Matt and Mello staying over at Chris and Hollys place for a few days. Matt and Chris are having a fantastic time while Mello is having a full blown life crisis in the background. Him and Matt didn't talk about what they were gonna do after the Kira-thing ends and he feels completely out of place. Not knowing if Matt wants to stay with him, not knowing what job he's gonna be able to work, feeling like the biggest hypocrite playing happy family when he was one of Los Angeles' biggest mafia bosses just a few months ago, having devastating PTSD from the explosion, ... The man is an internal mess but needs to keep it together for Matt.

----- My other socials Commission Info Let's drink some Ko-Fi! 🍵

#ask #pets #mello #matt #mihael keehl #mail jeevas #bertram #chris jeevas #holly jeevas #parents #my art #dog #golden retriever #comic #headcanon #dn au 2.1

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circlebuttons · 5 months ago

Text

Blacklisted- Rafe Cameron x reader

A/N: I will probably rewrite this but i have so many finished fics that are taking up space

On the coolest day of the heatwave that had struck the outer banks all you wanted was to go smoke in the woods, but when your usual plug and five more after him ghost you, it only takes a little bit of poking around to figure out why.

You leave the last rickety trailer that was your last attempt at buying weed, slamming the door to your little car hard enough to make it shake and floor it all the way Tannyhill, where all of your problems stem from.

You push through the front door and stomp all the way upstairs, running into Barry coming out of the hallway bathroom as you rush towards the patio.

"Country club! Your girlfriends here!" Barry immediately blocks your path and calls for Rafe at the sight of your furrowed brows and clenched fist.

"Not his girlfriend" you mumble, pushing past him and walking towards the patio table you thought Rafe would be around .

Before you can push open the glass doors Barry grabs hold of your wrist, "You know you can't go over there"

You look down at his hand over your wrist let out a heavy sigh, "Oh my god Barry, be for real."

"What's wrong baby?" Rafe's voice comes from behind you two and is sweet and full of concern as if he doesn't know why you're paying him a visit. Your heads to snap towards the corner he comes around. You can see the scowl forming on his face as he slowly lifts Barry's hand off your wrist with a raised eyebrow.

"Not letting your "not girlfriend" bum rush my stash" He responds throwing up his hands in a surrender and throwing himself down in the furthest patio chair.

Rafe brushes him off, putting all of his attention on you as his hands reach down to hold you at your waist. "No kiss?" he asks, cocking his head to the side, finding it strange that you didn't greet him with much affection, regardless of your relationship status.

"Did you tell every goddamn dealer on this island to not sell to me?" You ask him, looking up with a cold pointed stare.

"Who were you tryna buy from?" He fires back almost instantly, ignoring your question completely.

"Hey dumbass! Don't answer a question with a fucking question" You spit out at him, while pushing at his chest to create distance.

Barry stands from his chair and mumbles, "Should I just go?"

"Sit. I'm leaving soon." You tell him pointing back at the chair, then turning back to your ex boyfriend, "Rafe."

"Baby, you know I-" He cuts himself off with a sigh, instantly raising a red flag to you that he was looking for a cop out answer.

"Go ahead and lie, so I can punch you dead in your shit" The threat is empty, you and Rafe had your own issues seeing as he was emotionally abusive and you were just as much verbally, which often included passionate threats.

Your angers fuels his own as he raises his voice back, "Oh my god fucking sue me if I did! You cant trust what anybody sells"

"You Motherfucker! You know I only buy weed" you go to hit at his chest again, but he doges you, lightly grabbing your wrists.

"These days can't trust that either." He says with a hint of a smirk growing on his face when you pull your hands away from him.

"Jesus Christ, I fucking hate you" You walk away from him shaking your head, causing him to follow you closely behind.

"Who put all this in your head anyways, who were you tryna buy from?" He asks again, head hanging over your shoulder.

His question and even the causality of his tone makes you turn around at an instant. "I'm not your girlfriend anymore, why the hell do you care?"

"Yo dumbass, you cant answer a question with a question" He responds with your own words, almost making your eye twitch at the sound of it.

The weight in the room increases, making Barry throw his head in his hands and groan to himself, "fucking headaches."

You both ignore him, as you swallow the hypocritical hurt of having Rafe talk to you in the same manner. "Sharky snitched on your bitch ass instantly" You're no longer yelling at him, but your words are laced with venom.

Rafe pushes his tounge against the inside of his mouth as he silently signals to Barry to get up. You just as quickly make him sit back down, not wanting your favorite alternative dealer to be tracked down and harassed because of your messy relationship.

Rafe watches you closely as you force Barry to sit, "Sharky really? You know I don't want you around him." You can tell you've struck bigger nerve of his by the way he fidgets. You have no inkling of attraction towards this other guy, but man do you like to see Rafe sweat.

"Oh really?" You dramatically throw your head to the side "Well I didn't like you around that slutty kook but she made her way into your lap eventually, so I actually don't give two shits about what you want." you complete the statement with over the top hand gestures.

His eyes close and he breathes through his nose, "You're still stuck on that?"

"Like glue sweetheart." your tone is condescending as you make clear you're firm in your beliefs.

Rafe runs his fingers through his hair frustrated and then calls for his uncomfortable friend with wild hand gestures "Barry was there! He can tell you nothing happened"

Barry lifts his head up from his hands, "I-"

"Barry shut the fuck up!" you immediately dismiss him, and turn back to Rafe "and you can go to hell!"

"Don't yell at Barry! Or me! I didn't fuck her!" he basically screams out of frustration.

"I didn't say you did, unless you have something you need to admit Rafe." You stand firm with your arms crossed.

Screaming is getting him no where, he pinches the bridge of his noise and starts to speak with artificial calmness. "I did not cheat on you, I was high, all I did was sit there."

"This time." you mutter rolling your eyes.

"This time? Should we talk about what you did on the main land or are you just gonna tell me to shut the fuck up" he says putting his fist on his hips as his composure starts to slip again.

"Shut the fuck up Rafe, she left a hickey on your neck for fucks sake! I let one guy do a body shot off me and you're about to bury yourself"

"Hey Bar, did that pouge or did that pouge not basically lick salt off her tits before said body shot, because I know I'm not crazy?"

"She told me to shut the fuck up." he says definitively.

"My god" Rafe exhales annoyed.

"Yeah, my god. I have shit to do, if i can't get a pre roll by tonight it's both of your asses." you say, turning around to leave. In your peripheral you can see barry throw his arms up at being tied in with rafe.

"You can be mad at me for keeping my girl safe." He says shrugging his shoulders, forming his words in a way that twists the narrative, like usual.

"Bullshit! You don't care about my safety, you care about control." you turn back around to accuse him, "You don't want me buying weed from anyone else, why? Because you were just my dealer too until we fucked raw? Or is it just because you're so desperate for me to talk to you."

"I do care about your safety, that's not bullshit." he say's obviously annoyed, blatantly ignoring everything else you said.

"You're a piece of shit Rafe Cameron." As soon as you say it you know you don't mean it but relentless verbal assault never fails to egg him on in arguments, without it he just gives you smug answers and brushes you off, pretending to be nonchalant.

Your insult is exactly what tips him over the edge. "You've stayed on the opposite side of the island for a month! We've broken up a thousand times and you've never gone no contact. What type of shit is that? You just want me to be okay with not seeing you? talking to you?" This time when he yells his eyes widen, no longer flashing the same crazy in his eyes that used to filled you with adrenaline, but instead filled with hurt. You cutting contact had genuinely hurt him and he obviously didn't know how to handle it.

"I don't know what to do anymore rafe. We aren't healthy for each other. We both have a lot of growing to do that can't happen if we don't set boundaries. I need space Rafe, please." You plead with him, desperately missing how fast he usually is to crumble at your pleases.

"I gave you space for a whole month and I know it doesn't depend on my terms but it's torture for me. I won't text you or call you or pop up anywhere, but can you at least come here every so often to get your weed, free of charge." He's speaking to you softly and before you know it you're letting him hold you by your waist, but the little voice in the back of your head is incessant to remind you that you can't just kiss and make up. Boundaries need to be set.

"I don't want handouts from you, I don't want to have to do anything for your sake. I want to be able to go buy drugs or do normal shit without property of rafe cameron on my forehead"

"I get it. You don't want me controlling you wether we're together or not, and I may have had a lapse in judgment" he says anxiously rubbing at the nape of his neck.

"You always have a lapse in judgment, then you apologize and expect everything to be fine" you add, starting to bite at your lips

"Baby, i'm trying" he pleads.

"If you're really trying you'd respect my boundaries even when we're broken up."

He pauses at the last part "Okay, I hear you, i'll genuinely try to"

"Thank you" you huff out, relieved to finally reach a satisfying point in the conversation.

"I'm sorry for being controlling and blacklisting you." Rafe apologizes, his thumb making circles on your lower back as he does.

"Apology accepted, I'm sorry for all the name calling." You meekly apologize as well.

"Apology accepted, I still don't want you going no contact though" he adds kissing your forehead.

"I just told you space is healthy for us" you whine hitting his shoulder

"Space and becoming nonexistent are two different things." He says firmly and you look up at him with knowing eyes.

"I won't cut all contact if you don't invade my privacy" you tell him, bartering for your peace.

"I've learned my lesson, I won't. Promise"

"So I can go buy weed on my part of the island now?" you ask hopefully.

"No. Those guys are paid off for a while sweetheart." he smirks

"Rafe."

"You don't even have to talk to me. I'll silently hand it to you and you can leave immediately after. Just let me see you, please."

"Okay, but let barry get it. I'm still mad and I still don't want shit from you"

"I hear you princess" he responds with his hands surrendered, "I really am sorry" he speaks softly before pulling your chin up and kissing you. It's sad how quickly you open your mouth and let his tongue swipe through.

"I know, 'm still not your girlfriend." you tell him breaking the kiss before he can deepen it any more.

"I know" he says under his breath quickly before reconnecting your lips and letting his hands travel down your back.

"Why'd y'all break up again?" Barry asks, bringing your pre rolls to you per request.

"Can't stop cheating on each other." You both say simultaneously as you take them from his hand and put them in your purse.

#rafe angst #rafe x you #rafe outer banks #rafe cameron #rafe x reader #obx

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