#not an au just more like incorrect quotes

[luuxxart]

it’s always sunny in the takeba family

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

CROW: suddenly there came a swaggin

CROW: as of someone gangsta rappin

CROW: rappin at my chamber door

CROW: quoth the strider swag galore

[im-still-watching-anime]

kakashi: i’m just worried about whether or not sasuke will turn out okay

gai: *looks at naruto and sasuke*

gai: *looks at himself and kakashi*

gai: yeah i think they’ll be okay

[le-sluagh]

#10 Incorrect Batman: Vigilante (My AU)

Scarecrow: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward.

Mad Hatter: I’m worried about you.

*****

Alfred: *Turns on the kitchen light*

Batman: *Sitting at the table, eating bread*

Alfred: It’s four in the morning.

Batman: Turn the light back off.

*****

Joker: I’ve been described as a ‘crazy clown’ and a 'psycho’, but I prefer… 'has alternative ways of having fun’.

*****

Scarecrow: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth.

Riddler: Why?

Scarecrow, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.

*****

Two Face: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Joker: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Harley Quinn: I got distracted about halfway through.

Poison Ivy: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

*****

Mr. Freeze: You read my diary?

Penguin: At first, I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

*****

Two Face: Wow, I feel happy and I’m having so much fun!

Two Face:

Two Face: *narrows eyes* Something’s wrong here.

*****

Mad Hatter: I dare you-

Riddler: Scarecrow is not allowed to accept dares anymore.

Mad Hatter: Why not?

Scarecrow: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.

*****

Lex Luthor: How long do you think it'll take?

Joker: I don’t know, three or four.

Lex Luthor: Three or four what? Days? Weeks? Months?

Joker: Yeah, maybe five.

Lex Luthor: Five what???!!!

*****

Music Meister: I think I'm falling for you.

Mad Hatter, oblivious: ...Then get up?

[heckinghellck]

Horror: WHO ATE MY BREAD?!

Horror: I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-

Dust: I did?

Horror: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today Dust.

Horror: *walks away*

Dust:

Dust: He's gone Killer

Killer, coming out of the closet with bread stuffed in his mouth: Twankh uh!

[therighthandofvengeance]

Andrei’s virtuosa is Sophie’s punk

(In the end, he wouldn’t want it any other way)

[arolesbianism]

I'm brainstorming some more from the top au scenes and I've decided it'd be funny if even though Odile never learns to access to menues to equip them she still obtains memories throughout the game without realizing because Loop never pops up to tell her like they do with Siffrin. Just Loop and Siffrin at the favor tree chatting when suddenly time rewinds and Loop is like stardust wtf? Until a few moments later the new memory pops up and they go oh. Odile. What The Fuck.

[shoechoe]

the fact that a large portion of Vento Aureo fans mostly just like la squadra is kinda weird to me. it's like we're looking at the same picture but we enjoy completely different things about it

[winterwrites23]

SoT as incorrect quotes based on @atsushis-fangs series part 1:

Seán: *is being oblivious like always*

Malcolm: damn, you're so oblivious, it's a wonder how you've even managed to survive this long. Were you dropped on your head as a baby?

*Flashback to Ireland proudly showing a baby North off to his brothers for the very first time holding him the same way Rafiki held Simba before accidentally dropping him on his head and panicking.*

Seán quietly: No.

---------

Andrew: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions Angus?

Angus: No.

Andrew: Oh...

Seán: I do!

Andrew: I know Seán.

Seán: I'm sad...

Andrew: I know Seán.

*You could also do this with Callum*

---------

*Seán whenever the clan were being assholes and he decides to be dramatic about it:* I am disgusted! I am revolted! I've spent 20 years of my life helping you out and THIS is the thanks I get!!!

*Proceeds to disappear within his pile of blankets.

---------

*Based on Andrew and Seán's argument scene.*

Seán: THAT'S WHY YOUR SHOES RAGGEDY!!!

Andrew: That's why your momma's dead.

Seán: 🗿

Andrew: Dead as hell.

Seán: 🗿

Andrew: What kinda shoes she got on?

Seán: 🗿

Andrew: What shoes she got on in her casket?

Seán: 🗿

Andrew: That's why your grandmommy ain't got no knees.

Seán: 🗿

---------

*Based on when Ireland and Scotland find out that North had been teleported somewhere.*

*Scotland slowly backing away from Ireland because he knows that Ireland probably isn't too happy with him at the moment.*

*Ireland smiling like a serial killer:* Scotland. Where are you going???

Scotland: *Starts booking it out of the train.*

*Ireland's head twitches slightly and his smile widenes; says calmly:* Seize him.

*A flock of seagulls descend on Scotland screeching and pecking him.*

Scotland: *Screams.*

---------

The last one is based on a short by NaturalHabitatShorts on YouTube:

-Anonymous A

Omfg these are golden and totally on point 😂😂😂😂

[the-city-kitty]

NIY!Raph: *goes about his daily routine, training, lifting weights, etc. absolutely does not notice the multiple throwing knives, Ninja stars, and the straight up tomahawk that all miraculously did not hit him today*

NIY!Raph: Hey where’d all these holes in the walls come from?

NIY!Leo, from a distance: How the hell do I keep missing the bastard!?

NIY!Donnie: *has been running around with a giant cartoon magnet and averting all of Leo’s assassination attempts all day*

[fizzy0bloom]

freddy : Alright, suit choice number six

foxy : Babe, you look super hot

freddy : You realize you’ve said that about the last five suits?

foxy : Well, you’ve looked hot in them all! ‘Cause you are super hot. Honestly, babe, you’d look hot naked

credit to @hazbinhotel-incorrect

[sisyphus-prime]

Thank fuck people seem more normal about Vanessa. I remember being called slurs over that woman.

[bespectacled-bookwyrm]

Hangman's Way AU: Incorrect Quote 1

Colress: There’s no way you can meet my standards, Silver Spoon!

Grimsley: I have honey.

Colress, internally: FUCK he's meeting all of my standards!

[me-is-manny]

Bro literally changed my entire perspective-

Do you ever wonder how much shorter The Mahabharata would’ve been if the people simply decided to ignore Yudhishthir?

@askhindumyths @incorrectmahabharatquotes

[starry-bi-sky]

Danyal Al Ghul: Incorrect Quotes and Miscellaneous Thoughts

Incorrect quotes-style snippets specifically for my danyal al ghul au here (which i really need to come up with a unique au name for atp). Because I thought it'd be funny. And also some miscellaneous headcanons thrown into the mix. Some context for the au: - Danyal is 5 years older than Damian (so 10 and 15) - Danny faked his death when he was 10. Talia knows and helped him with it. - Jazz, Sam, and Tucker do not know he's an ex-assassin.

-------- Snippet 1

Danny, dryly tapping his temple: I have, as the Americans say, irreparable psychological damage, right here.

Jazz, an older sibling first and foremost: well, it's good that you're self-aware.

-------- Snippet 2

Danny, aged 10, in the American foster planning to just age out of the system: *emanating Bad Vibes. Pure, Little Orphan Tom Riddle Energy*

Jazz, aged 12, coming in to adopt a new sibling with her parents: Him. This is my brother now :)

Danny: ...what

--------

Lilo and Stitch is Danny's favorite Disney movie. He watched it when he was 11 with Jazz when she was attempting to connect with him, and by this point Danny was becoming receptive to her efforts. They had a movie marathon in the living room one night.

Safe to say? It resonated with his little 11 year old heart strongly, and he related very strongly with both Nani and Stitch. He got unexpectedly emotional and hid in his room for the rest of the night. Jazz felt really bad, but it had the intended (but kinda unexpected) effect of him trying to be nicer to her afterwards.

-------- Snippet 3

Dash, aged 12, causing trouble again and getting intercepted by Danny: *scaling up a desk* AHHHHH! GET YOUR LITTLE FREAK, FOLEY!

Tucker: Hey! Danny is not a freak!

Dash: GET HIM TO BACK OFF

Tucker, was the kid Dash was messing with: ....whats in it for me

-------- Snippet 4

Danny, saying some questionably immoral shit: What. Why are you looking at me like that.

Tucker: Bro. I mean this as kindly as possible; what the fuck?

Sam: yeah, I'm with Tuck on this one.

-------- Snippet 5

Danny, ranting about Vlad: if it weren't for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered him

Sam, painting his nails black: I'm pretty sure you'd slaughter him regardless of the laws of the land -- and quit moving, you're gonna mess me up.

Tucker: we've literally seen you debate yourself about this, Dan

Danny: ...you are correct, but it is the principle of things.

-------- Snippet 6

Vlad: I have experience my child, and the money and power attained through using those powers for personal gain, you say. I could train you, teach you everything I know! And all you have to do is renounce that idiot adoptive father of yours.

Danny, was already contemplating committing a Violence: ....

Danny, internally: I'm going to stab him *turns into Phantom*

--------

Funny contrast I realized between Danyal and Vlad that iirc I haven't pointed out yet is that imo, Danyal doesn't rely on his powers nearly half as much as canon Danny does. He falls back instinctually on his League training, and thus sometimes forgets to use his powers in battle. This was prevalent especially early on when he was still getting used to the whole 'halfa' thing.

He incorporates them more often after a year, but still for the most part relies on his own physical hand-to-hand combat. He trusts those skills much more than he does his powers. I'm not sure where he is on a technical level compared to canon, but just to stay safe I'll say he's similar in power skill as canon Danny. Perhaps a little more finessed than him because his League training would probably have him trying to figure out his powers as soon as possible.

But in summary? Danny is strong in hand-to-hand combat, weak in powerset.

Meanwhile Vlad is the opposite. I can't recall if he even knows hand-to-hand in canon, but it makes total sense to me that Vlad Masters wouldn't because he's so confident in his monetary influence and ghost abilities that he sees no need for it.

And he's kinda got some merit behind it. He's very powerful and has 20 years of experience to experiment and fine tune his powers. He's got bite to follow up his bark. He's perfected long-range combat and his ability to phase through walls makes it impossible to corner him, but if you can manage it, then one good hit could probably knock him on his ass.

So in summary, Vlad is strong in powerset, weak in hand-to-hand combat.

And it casts a good contrast between the two of them in that regard. Danny, as a fellow halfa, can follow Vlad when he phases through walls and is fast enough to land a hit on him. His league training as an assassin, albeit rusty, is still deep ingrained enough in him that he can hold up as a rather veritable threat against Vlad without needing his powers.

But Vlad can force Danny to use his powers more often through use of his own. The duplication is the first thing to come to mind: Danny's fast enough to dispel them on his own without powers, and smart enough that he could figure out who the real one is if given a few minute. But that's not always efficient enough.

Good foils for each other that way. Also Vlad's Plasmius design mimics Ra's juuust enough that he looks like Ra's knockoff loser second cousin no one talks about, which only fuels Danny's hatred.

-------- Snippet 7

Danny, ranting about Vlad for the first time: --and it's only made worse by the fact that the little ingrate resembles a cheap knock-off of my grandfather!--

Sam, choking on her water: he what--

Tucker, doing a spittake: HE DOES?

[luxthestrange]

BNHA Incorrect quotes#7 Too tired for this-

KFC Worker Y/n does not care if you are a hero, villain, civilian, or whatever no one is safe from their annoyance...Hawks is just sitting sipping his soda with shades on inside to hide his heart eyes as you work around-

Chisaki*Coming in* Im sorry can I just have another kid's meal?

KFC!Y/n*Sees the well-behaved young girl with a tiny horn, taking out the kid's toy and handing it to her looking at the masked man* You again?NAW, Not this time love

Chisaki:...But I just walked in?*Confused at them*

KFC!Y/n: Yeah, and you walk into Cole's, Buy some groceries LIKE A NORMAL FATHER -COOK DINNER ASSHOLE?!

Chisaki:😦

Eri*Smilling holding her toy*...

Cue You now cleaning the tables with orchestra music

RandomHero*Coughs into a fist*

KFC!Y/n*Sprays him with an antibacterial spray bottle*

RandomHero*Jumps and looks as they leave confused*!?

RandomHero2*Watched as his friend was sprayed just as confused*??

-

Dabi*Coughs into hand in his civilian disguise*

KFC!Y/n*Sprays him with an antibacterial spray bottle in the face with an annoyed look*

-

Shigaraki*Also In a civilian disguise, Eating messily at his table, stuffing his face with food and mouth open and chewing as he plays his mobile game*

KFC!Y/n*Who was moping the floor with a disgusted look*...YOU EAT LIKE THAT AT HOME?

Shigaraki*Stops chewing with bites of fries hanging from his mouth*??

KFC!Y/n: HUH?-Ya animal! Close your mouth when ya eat you fuckin scumbag!*Glares at him, disapproving tone*CHICKEN LITTLE IN YOUR BURGER HAD MORE MANNERS THAN YOU!?

Shigaraki*looking down, feeling called out*...

A couple tables away from you lecturing Shigaraki is Hawks and Dabi...

Hawks*Happily seeing you kick out rowdy people*...arent they great?~

Dabi*Who is cleaning the cleaner of his face, eyes stinging and glaring at him*...out of all the models, actresses/actors galore...you're choosing that-

You are kicking a homeless person out of the restaurant and even fanning the air to get rid of the stench with a grossed-out look

sequel to: