#nonmonogamis

[polyamzeal]

[waambles]

☀️I love you! And you and you and you and-☀️

It’s t4t summer baby!

[asymmetricalbeefcurtains]

[figs-and-cigs]

[burntoutpaladin]

I got married and turns out my wife and I are the hottest people alive.

(A blacksmith friend of hers made me a longsword and twin daggers for her for our wedding.)

(I'm a paladin, she's a rogue.)

[insertmusicalreferencehere]

I don't get the people who say they don't like poly people because some people use it as an excuse for cheating, because like.

then you don't hate POLY people, you hate cheating... and the fact that they used a bullshit excuse probably.

Like I can understand being not wanting to date poly people because of that, especially if it happened multiple times, but dear lord you do not need to hate poly people because some asshole cheated on you!!

And stuff like being cheated on by a poly person is literally the closest thing to an actual reason the rest is just bullshit.

"It seems like an excuse for cheating..." Okay but it's not. Yes, people use it that way, but that's not what poly is. All people in the relationship are consenting and aware. A poly relationship isn't 'sleeping around' or something because not every poly relationship is open (or however you say it) (I think), they are actually, literally, dating each other. It is being in a consenting relationship with multiple people who are aware and, in most/some situations, also dating others in the relationship.

And then there's just

"I don't get it..." Too bad, don't be an asshole.

"It's weird!!" Too bad, don't be an asshole.

"It's greedy!" Sorry no one wants to date you.

"Poly people just have attachment/commitment issues!" Huh???

"I could never!" Then don't.

Like, you don't have to date poly people, just don't be a dick!! It is NOT that hard!!

[bisexualwoman0]

[ladyhaven]

[bynux]

not "mine" as in "my property" but "mine" as in "my responsibility"

[polyamorouspunk]

By the way, no one wants to hear “as long as everyone involved is consenting” tacked on to the end of “polyamorous acceptance”.

Do you tack on “as long as everyone involved is consenting” when talking about marriage? When talking about same-sex couples? When talking about interracial relationships? No? Okay then don’t tack it on when talking about polyamory. It’s not polyamory if “not everyone involved is consenting”. So you don’t need to tack it on.

[polyamzeal]

[queerism1969]

[rationaliity]

cat parents | dr. ratio & aventurine

!! polyamory !!

caritas, poker, and snuggle.

anyone could tell who named what cat, and which cat cake was who's favorite.

.

caritas was veritas' favorite, the name being an old language word meaning ' love ' although he wouldn't really admit to it. he'd told you that the cat's original name - or rather, it's classification, was lambda's friend, with blue skin and black and white filling. but the cat cake had a little gold flower on the side of it's head, too, which reminded him of himself.

caritas loves to chat with the other cat cakes. its the kind of cat that makes friends with other really quickly, so it's always chatting with poker and snuggle about something throughout the day. their conversations can range from anything about how warm the bed is to the best spot in the living room to see the three of their owners dancing together in the kitchen with music while you were trying to make dinner.

ratio absolutely loved to note down their conversations whenever present. it surprised him that such a creature was so articulate, even able to properly express its desires. he'd concluded that the cat cakes had the intelligence of a young toddler with a rudimentary but understandable grasp on language. you and aventurine liked to tease him sometimes for treating the cat cakes as children sometimes, trying to teach them as a parent would, although this was something that ratio would deny wholeheartedly.

" they are an interesting new species. they are ruan mei's creations, and yet she doesn't seem to understand their full potential. i believe it's imperative that we study them and possibly teach them things they otherwise wouldn't know without our interventions, " ratio reasoned, while he was holding the little cat cake, cradling it like it was something precious to him.

.

poker was aventurine's, the name coming from one of his favorite card games to play, even though he rationalized it by saying that the cat was particularly swatty and liked to cause trouble by batting at things off of the edge of tables. " it likes to poke things until it drops off of the table, so the name poker makes sense, doesn't it ? " yeah, okay aventurine, whatever you say.

poker loved to meow in the dead of night and startle everyone out of sleep in the most inopportune times. ratio has a lecture early in the morning for the intelligentsia guild ? poker is making it's boredom everyone's problem. aventurine has a meeting with the other stonehearts ? oh boy, poker is right there sitting on his face meowing incessantly. if you've got something important to do, well, sorry to say you won't be getting very much sleep that night no matter how early you go to bed. it was bratty, sure, but it was ultimately just an average grey cat cake with nothing special about it, and seemed to have an overwhelming fear of being left alone.

no matter how annoying the cat cake was being that particular night, there was only one way to stop it from meowing. of course, ratio tried to reprimand it and teach it other ways to relieve its boredom at night, but nothing proved effective. you would just try to get it to calm down by playing with it for a little while, but that really only worked until you left it alone, and then it went right back to meowing. aventurine, however, had the magic touch. he would grab the cat cake and bring it into bed, and he would just.. talk to it. in a quiet voice, just chatting about whatever popped up into his head. he'd talk for an hour or more. sometimes it was about sigonia, sometimes it was about his job as a stoneheart. sometimes it was just different gambles and how he ended up winning them.

" so, of course, i had to prove that i was much more than he gave me credit for, " aventurine had been yapping for about an hour now, when he looked down at the cat cake in his arms and realized that it was sound asleep, purring against his chest. " ah, looks like i've done it again. you're welcome, you two. "

" thank you, 'churine, " you mumbled, half asleep as you leaned over to him and pressed a kiss on his cheek, your head falling back down to rest on his shoulder, already falling back asleep. ratio didn't say anything, and when aventurine looked over at him, he couldn't help but smile. he'd put ratio asleep while just chatting, too.

.

snuggle was your trash cake cat, and there was really no deeper meaning behind the name. it was a snuggly cat, and loved attention. loved anyone and everyone who was willing to give it attention. sometimes you would wake up with it resting on your chest, sometimes you would see ratio lazily carrying snuggle around, and other times aventurine was playing with it making it chase a feather around. snuggle was the attention whore of the trio.

snuggle loved to follow you wherever you walked, especially to the bathroom. whether you were getting ready for the day or just trying to spend a few minutes doing human business, you had a pair of eyes watching over your ever move, making sure that you were never far from its sight, almost like it was protective over you. you couldn't help but compare it to your two partners, lord knows how often they were checking up on you in their own ways. ratio wasn't afraid of shooting you a text whenever he had a free moment while you were away to make sure you were okay, and aventurine was constantly on the phone with you through his headpiece.

" snuggle, i'm just going to the bathroom ! it's okay, really- " you gently protested, earning a small mew from the cat cake as it followed behind you into the bathroom, sitting patiently at the doorway, waiting for you to get finished with your business.

" hey, darling, i'm home from work ~ guess who i dragged back home with me after his lecture. " aventurine called out for you almost immediately, followed by the quieter voice of ratio announcing his presence as well.

you rolled your eyes at your partners immediately calling for you, your heart swelling with love for them, washing your hands as you walked out of the bathroom, snuggle hot on your tracks. " welcome back, guys. all of the cat cakes have been taken care of, and i started dinner. "

" thank you, i'm sure dinner will be pleasant as always, " veritas hummed, his briefcase still in his hand as he leaned down to kiss you on your lips.

" what would we do without you ? " aventurine weaseled his way in between you two, mostly because he also wanted to get his after work love from you.

.

a chatty cat cake with more intelligence that it originally seemed, a cat cake that needed to be calmed down when everyone left it alone with its thoughts, and a protective cat cake that enjoyed attention and making sure that those around it was okay.

maybe these were the perfect cat cakes for you three.

[bloomshroomz]

So, we're ten days into pride month. Things are a bit confusing for me right now. I’m trying to figure out what I want, or what I need.

I know that I’m aromantic, but…

I want companionship. I want commitment.

I want to kiss someone. I want to make out with someone.

I want to cuddle and watch a movie with someone.

I want to spoil someone. I want to be spoiled.

I want to love someone. I want to be loved.

I want emotional intimacy. I want physical intimacy.

I want these things with multiple people.

I don’t see any of that as inherently romantic… Maybe it would be easier if I did? Something about that feels wrong, somehow. Why do I have to slap a romantic label on it by default, when I know that none of these things need to be confined to romance?

People aren’t usually committed to you unless you’re their partner. I’d like to have a few partners. Do I want that to be romantic, though? I mean, I know that I don’t want it to be romantic, because I don't want anything to be romantic. But, am I opposed to it?

I don’t know. I can’t tell.

Most people would call these feelings romantic. Why does it feel so much more complicated to me? Why do I have this weird disconnect?

Sometimes I feel like it would be easier if I just tossed out the aromantic part of who I am. Just being bisexual would make things so simple. But I don't think I can just flip a switch like that. Can I?

Do other people feel this way?

Is it just me?

Edit - 6/20/2024

A lot of people have been giving me the same advice over and over, and while I appreciate the sentiment, I've probably heard it before. Like, a lot of "you should look into QPRs/cupioromanticism/bellusromanticism/etc." when I've already known about those things for years.

Please read this post before giving advice or input, especially if it involves labels or attraction/relationship types. I know a lot about labels and attraction/relationship types; my struggle isn't coming from a lack of vocabulary. Thank you.

[jax-likes-snax]

I hate the way other queer people disregard that human relationships are more complicated than how amatonormativity portrays it, like seeing other queer people disregard the ace, aro, and/or poly experiences because it doesn't fit in their neat little box, even though you'd think they more than anyone else would also understand how complicated human relationships can be and the multiple different ways we can experience attraction, and the way everyone tries to shove every experience into a neat little box, I hate amatonormativity and wish we could all just experience relationships of every kind however comes natural to us instead of needing to fit them all into neat little boxes like society pushes

[dukeofankh]

I think that the monogamous expectation that you only ever be attracted to your one selected partner until you die is weird and unrealistic and straight up magical thinking, but also, I think that once you take that to be accurate--or even possible--your standard for realistic expectations is so off-kilter that it effects how you view nonmonogamy even if you believe it's a valid lifestyle for other people.

Like, I think that when people say stuff like "oh, I could never do that, I'd get so jealous", what they are picturing is a sort of logical reversal of typical monogamous expectations. If monogamous people are supposed to never feel desire for other people, then nonmonogamous people are supposed to never feel jealous of other people.

In both cases, people seem to be unaware of the concept of handling your feelings maturely and not blowing up your whole life and relationships because you felt a feeling. Instead, the expectation is that the job of a good partner is just to not feel the wrong feelings, whether those be attraction, love, or jealousy.

People do not work like that.