#ethical nonmonogamy

[anqueerism]

I wish there were more games where polyamory was an option and it’s not treated like it’s cheating or the butt of a joke.

I wish there were more games where you can be in relationships without having to be romantic with your partner

I wish there were more games where explicitly asexual and aromantic relationships were possible

[bloomshroomz]

So, we're ten days into pride month. Things are a bit confusing for me right now. I’m trying to figure out what I want, or what I need.

I know that I’m aromantic, but…

I want companionship. I want commitment.

I want to kiss someone. I want to make out with someone.

I want to cuddle and watch a movie with someone.

I want to spoil someone. I want to be spoiled.

I want to love someone. I want to be loved.

I want emotional intimacy. I want physical intimacy.

I want these things with multiple people.

I don’t see any of that as inherently romantic… Maybe it would be easier if I did? Something about that feels wrong, somehow. Why do I have to slap a romantic label on it by default, when I know that none of these things need to be confined to romance?

People aren’t usually committed to you unless you’re their partner. I’d like to have a few partners. Do I want that to be romantic, though? I mean, I know that I don’t want it to be romantic, because I don't want anything to be romantic. But, am I opposed to it?

I don’t know. I can’t tell.

Most people would call these feelings romantic. Why does it feel so much more complicated to me? Why do I have this weird disconnect?

Sometimes I feel like it would be easier if I just tossed out the aromantic part of who I am. Just being bisexual would make things so simple. But I don't think I can just flip a switch like that. Can I?

Do other people feel this way?

Is it just me?

Edit - 6/20/2024

A lot of people have been giving me the same advice over and over, and while I appreciate the sentiment, I've probably heard it before. Like, a lot of "you should look into QPRs/cupioromanticism/bellusromanticism/etc." when I've already known about those things for years.

Please read this post before giving advice or input, especially if it involves labels or attraction/relationship types. I know a lot about labels and attraction/relationship types; my struggle isn't coming from a lack of vocabulary. Thank you.

[pocket-poly]

[submissivefeminist]

If your partner is insisting that this is how polyamory is done, I'm gonna insist you find a better partner. The One Penis Policy is misogynistic, transphobic, and fetishizing in all the worst ways. ⛔🍆

[polyampire]

this is a blog for posts about polyamory, run by a polyamorous person. I try to keep it positive! I'll tag on request, and all fandom posts will be tagged. the askbox is open!

[celeste-hearts]

Polyamorous Hearts

These are the most used flag designs I've seen circulating... those took me a whole day. All flags made by me but credits go to pride hearts mod for making a poly heart first.

[polyintheburbs]

Science and shit

[ncsf]

Celebrate Metamour Day on Feb 28!

Metamour Day was created to honor the relationships between you and your partners’ partners, however that might look. It is not about forced compersion. It’s about communal appreciation within our family structures and modeling positivity to the world around us. Metamour Day is a recognition of the unique and special relationships between metamours.

Order your Metamour Day cards from Bloom Community: profits from postcard sales will be donated to OPEN (Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy), a nonprofit organization dedicated to fostering the polyamory and non-monogamy movement by advancing cultural acceptance, building political power, and supporting non-monogamous communities and leaders.

You can also celebrate Metamour Day on February 28th by sharing our graphics by Anna D. Hirsch in English, Spanish, French, Norwegian, Maltese, German, Italian and Hebrew.

[bloomshroomz]

Polyamorous Flag Poll [for fun]

Original Pi ........ Gold Infinity Heart ........ Gold Stripe

White Chevron ........ Circle ........ Pink

Black Chevron ........ Green ........ Red

[poly-problems]

Today's #PolyProblem: Trying to convince AI Spock that polyamory is logical*

*or at least, that it could be the logical choice for his bourgeoning (and precarious) relationships with Nurse Chapel and T'Pring?

...how do you think I did?

so uh, what are the chances Spock explores polyamory in SNW season 3?

[pocket-poly]

Two years down, many more to go. And I so excited for it. What a tremendous impact you've made on my life. And the ripples those impacts continue to make. The amount of synchronicity involved in the universe allowing us to be together is not, for one second lost on me. I feel so incredibly lucky to have you in my life. To be loved by you, and to share my life with you in all the ways I can.

Thank you. For loving me. In all the ways you do. With such patience, care, transparency, thoughtfulness, and consistency! You are magic to me in so many ways! I love you redgrasshopper!

Happy 2 Years, my love! I am so looking forward to celebrating with you next weekend.

[queencolondarkwing]

Um…

some couple just approached us on fetlife and want us to eventually move in with them so they can financially support and date us. The woman also said she may want to have my primary partner’s child.

I’m not monogamous, but I’m beginning to feel I may believe in reproductive fidelity because the idea of that offended me deeply. We have been building a life together and haven’t had our own kids yet. I would at least insist we have kids first before he branches out, but this woman is older and on a timeline…just…I know it’s hierarchy…but ain’t no way. Kids are a HUGE commitment and not just some willynilly decision that this lady and her hiss and are talking like it is. I think she just wants a mixed race child tbh…

keep in mind we haven’t even MET these people yet and only started talking to this older couple days ago. I don’t romantically connect to people easily. We mainly are swingers/open relationship and not polyamory (but open to it). It took 7 years of slutting around before I got with my partner. I’m very picky. They seem to assume we wanna jump into a relationship. And also that they can create a closed relationship with us (he hates condoms apparently) when we are both very popular in the swinger scene right now.

like nah I don’t know anything about either of you yet. Chill. Let’s take things slow. I view them talking about us moving in as they’re younger human sex toys when they don’t know us yet to be a massive red flag, but we agreed to hookup in a few weeks to at least test sexual compatibility. We aren’t committing though.

[bloomshroomz]

[Image ID 1: The original polyamorous pride flag, which was made by Jim Evans in 1995. It has three equal width stripes: blue, red, and black. There is a gold pi symbol in the center. End ID]

[Image ID 2: A new popular polyamorous pride flag, which was made by Red Howell in 2022. It has three equal width stripes: blue, red/magenta, and dark pruple. There is an asymmetrical white chevron on the left side, with a sideways gold heart inside it. End ID]

My favorite polyam flag is this one, personally:

i was gonna make a post like "this pride month, pour one out for the polyam folks for having the worst flag"

(and like, i know theres been a bunch of flags, but this is the one i've seen the most)

however! when i went to google the polyam flag, i found this website, where they apparently held a vote for a new flag that accurately represented the community (and, presumably, didn't look like absolute dogshit), and they apparently settled on this one!

i hadn't seen it before, but I think it looks really nice and if you check their website, it seems like they have good reasoning/backing/community support, so I really hope I see it around more!!!

[ncsf]

Women's Health: “What Does It Mean To Be Monogamish? And How To Know If It’s Right For You, Per Relationship Experts”

🚨📰 NCSF Media Update

“‘Monogamish is a term that describes a relationship where the primary relationship structure is monogamy, but with some allowance for sexual activity outside the relationship under mutually agreed-upon circumstances,’ says sex therapist Shadeen Francis. ‘You can think about it as a monogamous relationship that has more negotiated flexibility.’”

// NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or Lifestyle issues and topics.

These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between. NCSF urges everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. //

[girlbonerradio]

Turning Herself On, for Real: Rena Martine

Turning Herself On, for Real: Rena Martine

When Rena Martine found herself feeling burnt out in her career and unable to stay faithful in her monogamous relationships, she knew something needed to change. Epiphanies about both areas of her life changed just about everything for the better.  Learn much more in the new Girl Boner Radio episode! In addition to Rena’s story, you’ll learn a powerful practice for turning yourself on – one…

[bloomshroomz]

[Image ID: A screenshot of a post by Stetson Barnhouse, which says:

As a polyamorous human, I'm always amused by the look on monogamous folks' faces when they ask "What's to stop your partner from finding someone else they like better?" and I respond "Absolutely nothing that doesn't apply to a closed, monogamous partnership."

The things that end polyam relationships are, at their core, the same as those that end monogamous ones. They're things that will end any relationship - romantic, sexual or platonic:

Incompatible needs, priorities & interests.

Failure or refusal to grow, or growth in mutually-exclusive directions.

Lack of or inequitable investment.

Withdrawn, withheld, withered or misaligned affection.

Poor communication & conflict resolution skills.

Boundary issues.

Dishonesty.

Abuse.

Etc.

If you think having all your emotional eggs in one basket is some sort of automatic hedge against heartbreak or abandonment, you're deeply mistaken. The same is true of having them in several.

No matter what your relationships look like, invest in yourself and the people you love. Practice and seek out honest communication, ethical behavior, consistency between words and actions (where it counts), and reciprocity. It won't guarantee anything, but it'll sure increase the odds."

End ID.]