polyamzeal

[polyamzeal]

[polyamzeal]

Hello! I wanted to see if what I’m experiencing might be considered normal for poly people?

My partner and I are poly but we haven’t had other partners for about a year now. We have had other partners before while dating each other.

I personally have been struggling with dating other people since leaving my other partner last year. I thought I was just becoming demisexual or something, because I just have no sexual attraction to people other than my partner, but I used to be a self proclaimed ho when I was single and also when I was solo poly.

I don’t think I’m demisexual, but when I have sexual encounters with other people, even people I have a strong emotional connection to, I feel like I’m just doing what I think that they want and I’m not very into it. All of my other connections have fizzled out for this reason.

I’m not sure what to do about it or if this means I’m less poly than I thought I was. We’ve talked about it and we both feel similarly but don’t know what to do.

A large part of it involves where you are and where you are looking. I live near a big city with a very active polyamory community but I hear lots of stories of people that are not as lucky.

Being demisexual shouldn't really be a factor. Lots of polyamory people are demisexual or even asexual. It sounds like you should both evaluate what you want out of other relationships, especially the non-sexual stuff. It kind of sounds like anxiety over sexual encounters not being satisfying might be distracting you from connecting with other people.

And remember that neither of you need to rush into more relationships to keep the polyamory label. Sometimes people are just poly-saturated at 1 (or even 0) people for a period of time. Being polyamory just means being open to other relationships if opportunities present themselves but that doesn't mean you need to be constantly seeking. If you aren't finding anyone then it is okay to take a break from looking. Maybe the right people will find you. Or maybe after a break you'll start looking again in new places or events. So go easy on yourself.

[polyamzeal]

I really want want intimacy is that too much ask for 30 not had anything close to a romantic relationship hate my life want to change everything 😭

Everybody is deserving of intimacy. But the world is filled with obstacles and barriers. I would examine yourself and see if there are small individual things you want to improve about yourself that would help to remove those challenges. There are dating coaches out there too that you pay to train you and give you a makeover basically. So explore your options and you will likely find something when you least expect it.

[polyamzeal]

[polyamzeal]

[polyamzeal]

[polyamzeal]

[polyamzeal]

[polyamzeal]

[polyamzeal]

[polyamzeal]

[polyamzeal]

[polyamzeal]

[polyamzeal]

Poly-Satisfied

That is the word that has been on my mind when I describe my situration. A common word in the Polyam world is "Poly-saturated" to signify that someone has enough partners as they have time, energy, and other resources. They are not open to new partners. Polyamorous people can be poly-saturated at 1 or even 0 partners. But I needed a word between poly-saturated and "looking for new partners". Poly-satisfied feels right! I am very happy with my all my partners right now so I am not desperate for new partners. But if the perfectly right partner came along I would consider it. Almost like a demi-romantic phase of polyamory. I am very grateful for all the lovely people in my life that make me feel so fulfilled and satisfied!

[polyamzeal]

[polyamzeal]

[polyamzeal]