#no? then shut up
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carnage-cathedral · 4 months ago
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"just go to the dentist" okay are you gonna pay for it?
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goldensunset · 4 months ago
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maudiemoods · 6 months ago
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If life is a never ending loop of dirty dishes and laundry then that means life is a never ending loop of home cooked meals and comfy clean clothes
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mindboogling · 3 months ago
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I love making a gag character for D&D, forgetting they’re just a gag character, and then take a step back to look at the original ref
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taahko · 8 months ago
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i think some of you dont like narratives or stories or characters i think you just like fanfiction tropes
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mroddmod · 4 months ago
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the queen of the disco or whatever
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hamletthedane · 2 months ago
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I just found the earliest email I ever sent from my email address, and it’s the funniest goddamn thing I can possibly imagine a fourth grader sending her teacher:
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(Context - my fourth grade teacher was on maternity leave, and the class had conferenced at recess regarding the poor state of the classroom goldfish’s tank. We decided to inform our (24yo, new mother) former teacher of the dire situation, and I was selected as the duly appointed representative for this solemn communication.)
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erros429 · 9 months ago
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roommate texted this to me……..
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stairset · 7 months ago
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I'm sorry but I will never ever use goon as slang for a guy who jacks off a lot or whatever it apparently means now. A goon is a guy in a clown mask and purple tank top who sees a caped crusader swooping down to beat up him and his buddies and yells "IT'S DA FREAKIN' BAT!" and I will accept nothing else.
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regina-cordium · 7 months ago
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Guy just walked in with a shirt that said “I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them” and frankly I’m obsessed
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everythingwasnormalhere · 8 months ago
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pls rb if you think cuddling doesn't have to be s3xual
im tryna prove a point to my bf's mother help me out
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star-felled · 16 days ago
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quite literally the only day you can rb this the last one was 2005
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cimicherrychanga · 4 months ago
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what is the FUCKING POINT then???
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robinstome · 8 months ago
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Jerry Seinfeld says that you could never do Seinfeld today but one time when I was really high I fell asleep and dreamed a new episode where Jerry came out of the closet as a trans woman and Elaine wanted to be supportive so she gifted Jerry a dress that she didn't really like but when Jerry wore the dress out she got tons of compliments and Elaine gets super pissed about it because she never got any compliments when she wore it but couldn't say anything because she didn't want anyone to call her a fake ally.
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bisexualsoup · 4 months ago
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yesterday i was insane about that fictional man. today i am insane about that fictional man. tomorrow? take a wild guess brother
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