#haha make me shut up challenge

[opulentvibes001]

You want to break me? I will break you first.

[fangsforfags]

when making a character, u have to ask urself:

are they bloody?

will they ever be bloody?

is it their blood or somebody elses blood theyre covered in?

why are they bloody?

how drenched in blood are they going to be from a scale of 1-10, with 1 being ''barely drenched'' and 10 being ''so covered we shld ask where there ISNT any blood on them''?

[memeshost]

[pyunyrage]

[wekny]

Man stopped at the bottom like "Damn, that was efficient"

[incarnadin3]

Obey Me! Incorrect quotes pt. 5

MC: What are you in the mood for? Belphegor: World domination. MC: That's a bit ambitious. Belphegor: You are my world. MC: Aww… Belphegor: MC: Belphegor: MC: OH.

Mammon: I love you. MC, not paying attention: What was that? Mammon: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

Asmodeous: Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world. Belphegor: Unless you're home alone.

Lucifer: Hopefully Satan has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings. Satan: Oh, shut up and die Lucifer.

Belphegor: I’m not lazy, I just find it hard to put effort into things I’m not passionate about. Lucifer: What are you passionate about? Belphegor: Sleeping.

Mammon: Can I bother you for a second? Lucifer: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.

Belphegor, teaching Satan to drive: Okay, you're driving and an old man and a cat walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit? Satan: Oh, definitely the old man. It's probably Lucifer anyways. I could never hurt a cat. Belphegor, massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

Diavolo: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this. MC: I literally said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question.

MC: Someone’s trying to break in. Call the cops! Mammon: loads shotgun I got this. MC: Last week you fell up the stairs, what do you mean-

Satan: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for methaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!

[queerism1969]

[d3vdb0dyy]

(shoots you in the head and misses, shoots you in the head and misses, shoots you in the head and misses,shoots you in the head and misses,) God, stay still for a minute would you? (shoots you in the head and misses,shoots you in the head and misses,shoots you in the head and misses,shoots you in the head and misses,shoots you in the head and misses,)

[animalcandy9]

[whinypuppi]

imagine hybrid puppy girl!reader being sooo much of a dumb puppy that she can't even focus during sex :(

like gojo would literally have to smack her cheek a little just to get her attention as he's fucking her little cunt.

“hey, baby. 'm i not using this hole good enough or what?” when you'd snap out of your little daze, you'd go back to whimpering and whining when he only sped up.

“'m sorry! s—so so sorry! can't... *whine* help it...”

“aw, poor thing. i know, sweetheart. i got you...” and he'd scratch behind your little ears to make your tail wag as you choke out more hiccuped sobs.

“you jus' feel so good that little head doesn't know what to do. must be fuckin' you stupid.”

[choppedsouldreamer]

Damn guys I think I cooked with this one, I tried to incorporate your style into it as well @michealscorneroftheinternet

I seriously love all the stuff you do man, your art is holy like GUHHHH I JUST LOVE YOUR STYLE ITS THE PERFECT MIX BETWEEN CARTOON AND REALISTIC AND THE PROPORTIONS ARE HELLA GODLY, I love your aus too super awesome. check this guy out if you haven't, super amazing and talented human being :3

I was going to make this the big surprise but my damn storage failed on me and I couldn't finish the Ibis paint doodles but if it works again I will still post them! Sorry for the wait and I hope you enjoy it. YOU DARED ME AND I DELIVERED SO HA /j

[fangsforfags]

its always "old man yaoi" but ends up being "late 20s-mid 30s" instead :/

[memeshost]

[pyunyrage]

[incarnadin3]

Obey Me! Quotes from an incorrect quote generator pt.3

MC: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Lucifer? Lucifer: … No. Diavolo: I do! MC: I know, Diavolo. Diavolo: I’m sad! MC: I know, Diavolo.

Satan : Stubs their toe FUCK! Lucifer: Mind your language! Satan : What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Lucifer: Satan : You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

Mammon : Whaddya call a fish with no eye? Lucifer, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons Mammon : Mammon : fsh

Mammon : Change is inedible. Lucifer: Don't you mean inevitable? Mammon , spitting out coins: No, I did not.

Asmodeous: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

Belphegor: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT.

MC: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. Mammon: What if it bites me and it dies!? Lucifer: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Mammon, learn to listen. Mammon: What if it bites itself and I die? Solomon: That’s voodoo. Luke: What if it bites me and someone else dies? Lucifer: That’s correlation, not causation. MC: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die? Asmodeous: That’s kinky. Lucifer: Oh my God.

MC, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Lucifer: Hey. Diavolo: Hi. Barbatos: Hello. Solomon: Hey! MC: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Simeon: We were out of Doritos.

MC: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? Belphegor: You mean literally or figuratively? MC: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify…

Beelzebub: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars. Belphegor: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

Solomon: How petty can you get? MC: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.