#no one in konoha knows shit about fuck

[evilkitten3]

just realized this post is bs they don't teach shit at that school

Remember the land of waves arc when zabuza was telling his backstory and kakashi was like the village hidden in the mist is BARBARIC they make kids kill other kids in order to become ninja. We would never do that. Then the next arc was like alright kids who’s ready to kill some other kids in order to become ninjas.

[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

Ding dong, here’s the final chapter! I have an epilogue in mind so that may come later, but for now, Thanks  so so much for the response to this series and Enjoy!

Ch1 Ch2 Ch3

[talking] [talking passes]

Gai: You knew right away, didn’t you? Kka: Correct. I knew something was wrong when you weren’t trying to do situps or anything..... You little criminal, who smuggled that in for you? Gai: Naruto

Kks: How did you get him to do that? /I/ cant even get Naruto to do things. The tear tracks and shit eating grin are cute. Kinda wanna kiss you. Gai: Don’t let me be a hindrance to-

Gai: What are you giggling about? Kks: I just remembered

Kks: I get to hold over your head that I held mirai before you. Gai: You what?! Your first baby hold and I missed it? Get off of me Kks: So mean! Near death made you crabby. Gai: I won’t give into this Kks: You will, you always succumb. [gai sighs annoyed]

Gai: [Groans] When are they making you swear in as hokage? Kks: That’s not happening anymore thankfully. Gai: Huuuh?? Tenzou didn’t tell me that!

Gai: He said Lady Tsunade was retiring and you were the only choice. Naruto even tried to- Kks: Where do you think i’ve been all day? I convinced her to hold out until Naruto or whoever  took over next. Gai: How did you smooth talk that one? Kks: I agreed to do her paperwork and cover for when she needs R&R. I also advised her to ditch the elders so she can actually run this shit show right. Gai: And they... took that well? The elders? Kks: No, not at all. Let’s just say I said some... things that made them backtrack on their decision.

Gai: YOu cant just say that and not tell me now!! I gotta know! Kks: Well... Homura: Absolutely not! Kks: If I am appointed, I’ll be replacing you regardless. Naruto certainly will. It’s inevitable. Koharu: Those kids don’t know how this village runs!

Kks:Those kids just won your war and this is how you speak of them. Or are “those kids“ only respectable to you when they’re eager to die at your beckon call and shut up. Elders: How dare- Watch your tongue! Kks: I won’t be someone who you can walk all over. Things will change. Just so my intentions are clear

Gai: What next?! Kks: That’s is really. Kinda tuned the rest out and passed out for 3 hours. Gai: Rival, I was so invested Kks: Sorry Gai: So you agreed to essentially split the work of a hokage but not publicly take the title? Kks: Mhm Gai: So cool! Apologies, I had just assumes since you were gonna accept last time Kks:[hums] Things changed. Konoha’s not on the brink of war, Tsunade’s still here. The village can breathe and rebuild now.

Kks: After a glimpse of the hassle and public attention the last time, I’m just... Not interested in any of that. I’ve never dreamed or desired to be the hokage. That was always something others wanted /for/ me. So I said no. I know you were happy for me so- Gai: Kakashi

Gai: I’m so very proud of you for expressing how you truly feel. You and tsunade will do amazing work supporting the next generation. Even If you chose to retire today, I’d still be just as proud of you. Also a selfish part of me if happy to have more time with you. [kks huffs]

Kks: I’m proud of you too, y’ know. All your hard work, you’re fucking incredible. Glad my dad made me talk to the cool kid in the green jumpsuit. 2nd coolest shinobi. Gai: Only took 25 years, but I’ve finally caught your eye! Kks: Yup, let’s move in together.

Gai: WHAT?1 Whu-! Kks: I’m fixing up dad’s old house with Tenzou. you should live there with me Gai: Why? Kks: Why are yo suspicious? I’m serious. Space, accessibility for you... I want you around more. Gai: Ok Kks: Ok? Gai: An exciting change is just what my youthful journey needs!! Kks: So yes?

Gai: I would love to share a home with you, Rival [kks giggling] What now?

Kks: Did I just make you succumb, Gai-kun? Gai: When can we have a match next, I need to consensually slap you in the head [kks laughs] Why did you say it like that? Kks: I’m sorry! Your pout looks so cute.... You are still moving in with me, right? That wasnt a joke.

Gai: I’m gonna let you sweat on that one awhile... [whimpers]

Kks: Love you so much, Gai

[gai snoring]

[gai snoring]

[oh-no-its-bird]

Similar fic idea to One Step Three Steps, but instead of some random Hatake brat being zapped into modern Konoha from the very early days of the village, it was actually the at the time Hatake Clan Head.

I'm gonna go with the Hatake family tree I tossed into Chasing Shadows for fun, meaning a) the clan head is named Haruka, and b) she's Sakumo's mother (thus Kakashi's grandmother) and Tobirama's aunt

She died very shortly after Tobirama (like a week tops) and the rest of her clan was wiped out pretty soon after her.

(Sakumo was raised by the only other survivor of the clan, an old grandma with poor memory who hadn't been in any state to fight, and who later passed away when Sakumo was still pretty young— so he learned very little about their clan and their traditions, and then passed on even less to Kakashi before he died)

I have literally nothing else for her other than the above, so I guess we'll figure out her character together as we go along

With that said, this is gonna be a long one, so buckle in for

✨️ The Hatake clan head time travels from early to modern Konoha ✨️

Immediately, there's just so much potential pretty much anywhere you drop her into the timeline.

Lets take her from the very first years of Konoha, where they're still lowkey building the village and Madara is still around (bc I love the drama of the time traveler respecting Madara only for the future people to be like "oooo... ok, so bad news actually— Also, you legally aren't allowed to talk good about him for military dictatorship reasons, sorry :(" )

And then we're gonna drop her into kid Kakashi era, with Sakumo still being alive

Right off the bat -> That's Sakumo's fucking mom!!!! Holy shit you guys!!! The last time she saw him he was like a literal infant she JUST recovered from birthing AND NOW HES A WHOLE MAN!!!!

Shes grabbing him by the cheeks squishing him to death, there may be baby talk involved (he's a grown man let him go oh my god??)

If she comes before his mission gone wrong, her presence prevents him from going on it (disaster averted,,, for now) He's currently in the running for most likely to become next Hokage and she's so disgustingly proud holy shit. Her baby!!! Hokage!!!

Maybe have some talk about how that'd make either 3 or 2 Hatake's in office depending on if you count Hashirama as a Hatake (Haruka does not) and how that's kind of bad, right? Only Haruka doesn't give a SHIT about that (politicians hate her and shed hate them too if she didn't enjoy making them suffer so much)

"But Haruka, as clan head aren't you a politician too by default?"

"Haha yeah!! Isn't that awful? (For all of them)"

If she comes AFTER the dreaded mission gone wrong, Haruka is all about backing up his decision (the Hatake are a clan who emphasize loyalty like no other, which is also part of why they took to Konoha's mentality so well)

Shes telling Sakumo he did the right thing and fuck literally everyone who says otherwise. Trust your momma Sakumo, she knows best

Her being there averts Sakumo's death— either bc she manages to keep him going, or bc she interrupts him mid suicide

(I can see Sakumo trying to go through with it specifically bc he thinks at least Kakashi has Haruka now once he's gone)

Also oh my god SAKUMO YOU HAD A BABY??? SHE HAS A GRANDBABY???? AWWW CMERE LITTLE GUY LET GRANDMA GIVE YOU A SMOOCH— OHHH SAKUMO LOOK AT HOW HE STABBED ME OHH WHAT A GOOD BOY, WHAT A CUTE BABY BOY!! CMERE BABY— OHH SAKUMO LOOK HES BITING ME AWWW THATS SO CUTE!! WHOS A GOOD GRANDBABY?? WHOS A GOOD GRANDBABY?? (said like she's talking to a fucking dog)

Kakashi kind of hates her.

There's like a whole big bit about the Hatake clan bloodline limit, which is sort of general wolfy stuff, enhanced senses, some extra strength, etc. And my all-time favorite take, adaptation ✨️

Their white chakra is super flexible, able to adapt and change to fit pretty much any situation —or even other bloodline limits. (Which is why Kakashi not only survived the sharingan implant but came to arguably master it)

Anyways -> other than the white chakra (which neither Sakumo or Kakashi know the details of other than it's their family chakra and its,, white. Exciting, I know), their bloodline limit seems to have borderline dissapeared with Kakashi and Sakumo, due to basically them not knowing how to feed into it / activley supressing it to conform to polite society (unaware that certain impulses aren't actually just intrusive thoughts but actual instinct trying to get them to do things necessary to feed into and reawakened their bloodline limit)

Kakashi actually shows more hints of still having it bc of his age, while Sakumo is very well practiced in accidentally supressing it to conform with general society.

So obviously, Haruka is like "hey guys!! What the actual fuck is this!!" and immediatley (borderline desperatley) trying to get them back to her perceived normal

She's actually REALLY fucked up about all this. Her own son!! Her own grandbaby!! And they don't even eat enough MEAT!!!! This is an actual nightmare, this is like basic baby stuff all the Hatake's should know and she's getting nothing but blank looks and vuagley ashamed guilty stares from Sakumo as she asks if he even takes Kakashi on hunts (he didn't even know that was a thing he should be doing.)

Don't even get her started when she learns Sakumo isn't acting as clan head on the Konoha clan council, holy shit. The Hatake might be a clan of 2 now but they were among the first clans to come to Konoha— she doesn't give a shit how many of them are left, if the number is more than 1 then there better be a fucking representative of theirs on that goddamn council

Funny bit where Kakashi tries to bite someone and Sakumo is telling him to stop bc jesus christ child can you behave for 5 seconds oh god he's so sorry— and Haruka is like, why are you telling him to stop??? This is enrichment for him :)) if there's no blood it's fine, that's the official clan policy for dealing with kids

Haruka... isn't actually a very good choice to leave as your babysitter. If nothing is on fire and no one is dead she considers herself successful.

Sakumo will learn this. In time.

Mmmm bad ending where Sakumo goes through with the suicide. Could be very fun and fucked up n dramatic.

Kakashi doesn't find his father's body first bc Haruka does— or maybe he does but Haruka walks in right behind him and forces him to close his eyes before he can actually see the body.

Fun scene where Haruka is physically wrestling Kakashi away from his father's body, a hand over his eyes as he screams and claws at her, demanding that she let go and let him see his dad.

Can't she smell the blood!? Tou-san is hurt, he needs help! What are you doing!!? Let him go!! Tou-san, Tou-san, where are you? Why aren't you answering?!

He bites her hand in his struggles, so deep that it later scars (just another reminder of the day, oh boy !!)

Haruka getting hit by the fucking brick of reality, straight in the face. She got to meet her son, the only survivor of their clan from her era, just in time for him to die <3

The fic then takes a HARD turn from the silly fluffy fun times of Haruka goofing around telling people to suck her dick if they have a problem with her (which a lot of people definitely do)

-> Right into shinobi politics, political schemes and sabotaged missions and buried clan history galore territory. Haruka isn't ab to take this lying down and everyone's about to get their first look at a grieving Hatake mother in her prime who just lost her baby to the shinobi rumor mill

Before she was kind of keeping to herself just having fun in the clan compound, not reeeally getting involved with any politics or village shit, bc like, she's playing with her family!! This is like her vacation till the time travel is solved and she goes back home!!

But she's not doing that anymore.

Sakumo is gone and Haruka is more than willing to take the seat he chose to leave empty at the clan council. She's about to become EVERYONES problem.

In the bg, Kakashi VIOLENTLY swings between fucking hating Haruka ("You should have stopped him! You should have been there! You should have helped!") to being like, physically unable to be unatached from her (she's waking up in the middle of the night to find him suddenly burrowed into her blankets, holding on to her like he's scared she'll dissapear when he wakes up)

Small soft scene where he's sleeping on top of her and quietly whispers that he's sorry for biting her.

Haruka possibly tries to have Kakashi temporarily drop his training but it's a very hard battle to fight. Both bc Kakashi wants to fight and bc Konoha wants him to fight

Uhh first big scary Haruka politics scene when she puts her foot down and says something along the lines of, "are you telling me here and now that my word as Hatake clan head is not enough to stop Konoha from taking away my child?" And Sarutobi kind of has to back down bc that does NOT fly well with the other clans

Obito and Rin swing by and try to pry at why Kakashi can't fight and she just fucking stares at them and goes, "He's 6."

She goes home and puts her head in her fucking hands. She was promised Konoha was to keep the kids SAFE, that's the entire fucking reason the Hatake agreed to join!!! This is not safe Tobirama, you bitch!!!!! If they send out Kakashi to die, shes going to find your fucking ghost and grind your face into Kakashi's grave!!!!

Anyways, time for my favorite part: politics

Haruka is coming from the early days of Konoha, where the only reason the Hatake even joined the village was, "because my cute little nephew (Tobirama) asked us real nice"

In her mind, she and her clan are still allowed to back the fuck up out of the village whenever she so chooses. She likes it in Konoha, yeah, but they're still free reign nomads and while she'd like to stay and have her clan flourish (which they didn't exactly do and she can literally SEE the way the village destroyed them from the inside out) she and her clan retain the right to leave whenever they want. And if they do leave, other than losing the new friends, it won't exactly be hard on them to get back to the nomad life.

All of that is to say that Sarutobi isn't her Hokage and while she'll be nice and respectful bc she recognizes the position (and her position) when push comes to shove, there's literally nothing they can hold on her to make her bend or break.

Also the last time she saw Sarutobi he was one of her nephews little brat tag-alongs, and she's so fucking bad at treating people their age, doubly so if she knew them as a kid.

It's,,, kind of demeaning actually, she should stop. (She will not.)

Anyways: play into her not just being Tobirama's aunt but also Hashirama's (her sister was their mother) which becomes fun bc Kakashi is her fucking grandkid!! Meaning he's also their fucking cousin!! Politics!! Implications!!!

At least one person is making a "of fucking course the boy genius is related to one of them" joke but like in an angry way (it's probably Obito)

Anyways I started this off with basically nothing for Haruka other than her name and I think she accidentally turned into a real character along the way (inevitable tbh)

Shes a DEEPLY flawed person actually, which I kind of love. She has a habit of belittling people and not treating them their age (absoloutley calls everyone even slightly younger than her 'kid')

Her views of childcare are totally skewed and she should not be trusted with any children other than Kakashi (it's ok he's literally built different, she can provide proper enrichment for him)

Edit: I DIDNT FUCKING MEAN TO POST THIS YET IM GONNA KILL MYSELF I WAS STILL QRITING IM GONNA END IT ALL TUMBLR I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

Shes so fucking full of herself and about to make it EVERYONES problem

[rainybyday]

Second part of the first time travel team 7 idea

So next on the list are Uchiha’s

So the Senju patrol found out about Sasuke and Tenzo

The Uchiha?

They find Sakura and Kakashi

(Yes Sai and Obito are out for now)

So I think the beginning problem is how Team Seven are all separated and are all trying to find each other

Tenzo actually found Obito first but they split up for Obito to grab Sai and Tenzo got Sasuke once they felt both got their location from Tenzo’s ability to be a tree whisperer

Sakura found Kakashi and they both were going to find the rest of the pack but they met a returning Uchiha party from a job well done

The party has Izuna 

This will happen for two reason

One is so that they understand at least roughly at what time they appeared in

And Two is that they have an important figure of the Uchiha clan to see Kakashi. No, he doesn’t have Obito’s eye anymore but the prospect of seeing a Hatake so close to their clan compound is what I’m after here

Unlike the Senju patrol who immediately went after Sasuke, the Uchiha’s just stop

Cus like, that’s a HATAKE

SHIT

Like on one hand there is another clan claimed name on their land without their permission 

But on the other, its a Hatake, one of the few clans you want to be wary of and think carefully about when you interact with them

Even with the mask on Kakashi, they still don’t want to test their limits on getting fucken mutilated by Hatake teeth

Feral or not, a calm Hatake is still a Hatake

So Izuna, politely mediates and tries to understand why Kakashi and his cub? Packmember? Are on their land

Especially when said cub/pack member looks like they went through hell and back

Who is the stupid person whom attacked a Hatake pack/cub member???

I have no clue what this conversation will entitled but Sakura and Kakashi are allowed to leave relatively safe by all means

Even though they are freaking the fuck out of what they are just witnessing because was that Sasuke? No? You're not Sasuke??? Then who the fuck-?

Meanwhile, Izuna and his party are booking it back to their compound to tell Madara about the wild Hatake in their lands and to make sure to warn the rest of the clan because if they make a mistake like, oh i don't know, FIGHTING THE HATAKE, then there will be problems

On their end not the Hatake’s 

The Hatakes, while not animals are very protective of their own, a slight against one is a slight against all Hatakes. 

These issues must be mediated carefully. 

So Team Seven!

Kakashi does not have Obito’s eye and Obito has both eyes and has the classic white hair and half white/half tan body. 

Tenzo and Sai aren’t as worse looking as the rest of the team but that doesn’t mean Tenzo lost a vest somewhere in his dimension or how sai doesn’t have any scrolls or that his ink supplies is all over him

Sakura and Obito look the worse off, no questions asked

Sasuke literally looks all bloody from overuse of his Sharingan and he still has the Rinnegan so thats going to go over so will with everyone else

Ah zetsu will find out about that huh….

Naruto looks… okay

The boys going through it

They are all almost chakura depleted but not empty, still have the little bit to survive you know

Ok so back to story

ON the team 7 side I know they will probably find each other and probably make a makeshift base of operation in the location where Konoha will be

Its temporary for them since its the close place they know of in their time and they need to rest

So they rest for a prompt of a few days without any issues

Why is that?

Well on the senju side they just got reports that a uchiha was seen on their land so they of course are angered that their enemy was so close on their land and will have Madara’s head

But at the same time that very same Uchiha was saved by a Senju with the mokuton of all things

So its a whole political shit show with Hashirama trying to understand that not only are an Uchiha and senju in kahoots with each other but that this implies a missing senju member was left unaccounted for by the clan, Tobirama is more uneasy by the multiple chakra signatures that in the forest and the Senju elders are convinced that the Uchiha’s found and used a senju as a tool for war

Meanwhile, the Uchihas are sweating bullets trying to warn the rest of their members about a Hatake pack most likely near or on their grounds and Madara is going through a mountain full of paper trying to write the best most polite but not-directing-blame-nor-accusing letter to the Hatake clan to ask if they had 1) a that a Hatake pack was seen in their lands and 2) that someone may or may not have attacked said pack (but it wasn’t them they swear on Amaterasu’s sake)

Yeah so Team 7 has a lot of time to rest before everything gets set to motion

Mostly it is Tenzo and Sai getting caught up in what happened in the battle of Kaguya, the realization that everyone they ever known are now gone, and trying to survive in this new environment 

Of course there is a lot of self blame and guilt in this

Obito and Kakashi definitely have guilt with each other and their actions that got reflected in their battle

Everyone but the Uchiha’s are realizing who they left behind in their old world and its just… crashing on them

Sasuke is still on the Itachi thing but he is not as emotionally invested like the rest of this team, probably thinking about the battle and the information that he was told of being Indara’s incarnation or somth

Sai has left the people he wanted to be friends with and his chance of being happy with them, yes he still has team 7 but his dream was to befriend everyone and now that's just…. Gone

Tenzo is not stable either ngl

Yeah so first few days are basically the calm before the storm

Then the Uchiha’s get a letter, a letter they expected but not by who sent said letter

They were expecting the Hatake’s to contact them first, not the Senju’s

Then the Madara is reading a letter from Hashirama about the incident the portal had a few days ago and lost it

Part 1 | Part Three

[madelinesnarutoblog]

Cool, the confession aside, let's also shit on Konoha. BECAUSE THIS MAKES ME SO MAD.

NARUTO SHOULD NOT A GIVE A FUCK ABOUT KONOHA AT THIS POINT. HE KNOWS THE TRUTH, TOO.

Why would he fight Sasuke over Konoha? Maybe over his friends there, who just betrayed him and went behind his back, but that's Naruto, he is a Libra, whatever. My first boyfriend was a Libra, too. Did his constant people pleasing neutrality ruin our relationship? FUCK YES, IT DID. I AM STILL TRAUMATIZED. SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO PRIORITIZE. GO TO HELL, SERGIO. I mean...

This is just Naruto, who feels forced to take on the burden of the village again. He found like a shortcut to their love, which is doing everything for them and carrying their faults and their burdens, though he is innocent. Everyone put him into this role and put the weight of the world on his shoulders.

IT IS NOT HIS DUTY TO CARRY SASUKE'S HATRED, BECAUSE IT IS NOT HIS FAULT. He is the only one Sasuke has actually left at this point....

THEY BOTH DESERVE TO LIVE. THEY BOTH DESERVE JUSTICE, AN APOLOGY AND PEACE. HAPPINESS.

@the-real-sasuke-uchiha this one is for you.

[httpino]

hiii everyone! this is my opinion on what college majors each of the konoha 11 + sasuke n the sand siblings have :D + my general college headcanons about them. enjoy!!

p.s. this is a non massacre au so everyone is alive and well

Naruto characters in College

Naruto Uzumaki: Political Science

- he’s obvi into the whole politics thing so it seemed obvious to him to go into polisci

- unfortunate frat brother

- he’s not like the annoying weird ones but he does indulge in a bit of excessive drinking

- even when he’s hokage (think of it as like the president of everything i don’t fucking know) he’ll still do the stupid ass frat greeting if he sees a fellow brother

- barely passing but once he starts studying seriously with sakura, he’s on his grind fr

- he was never stupid, he just has adhd and no idea how to ask for help

- graduates at a decent place n continues on the higher education track (to everyone’s surprise)

Sasuke Uchiha: Business with a concentration in Finance

- he plans on taking over the family business from his older brother since he’s sick and needs to focus on his health

- does not engage in frat business no matter how much naruto begs

- he’s above it all

- he’s less fucked in the head (because his whole family was not senselessly murdered!) so he does like partying n is less antisocial

- non massacre au sasuke is a WHORE idgaf

- will entertain whoever he needs to to get laid

- this is before he starts dating sakura and then he’s like a nun, he does not look in people’s direction at all

- model student, graduates with a ridiculously high gpa

Sakura Haruno: Biology + Chemistry Double Major (pre-med)

- did anyone say overachiever

- she was told she just needed to pick a science if she wanted to do the pre-med track but she said fuck it and chose two

- bordering deranged, the constant homework is getting to her

- very efficient at studying so she’s able to have some semblance of a school-life balance but barely

- she’s spent more nights in the library crying over her homework than she cares to admit

- finds it all easier when she’s with her friends so she, naruto, ino, sasuke, shikamaru, neji, and hinata have a little study circle every night

- model student, legit is the student that her professors tell their students about years after she graduates

- goes on to med school (we love you dr.haruno)

Sai: Art

- obviously

- he’s having a good time here

- once he gets to the point where he’s having to do other art (sculpting for example) he’s losing it a bit

- he’s just a little guy who wants to draw pretty little pictures :(

- the mf who says “ugh i have a drawing due at 11:59” and then promptly gets jumped for having the audacity to complain around sakura

- doesn’t really party, if he does get dragged out, he spends the whole time drawing the scene in front of him

- he has so many drawings of drunk naruto doing stupid shit, he’s compiled it in a little booklet n adds to it

- by the end of college, he has a thick ass book of these drawings (naruto, ino, sakura, and lee being most of the drawings)

- graduates with flying colors (see what i did there) to become ino’s house husband who supports her through med school

Shikamaru Nara: International Relations

- bro did not want to go to college

- literally dragged himself through high school, why would he want to do it all over again but it’s harder???

- anyway he settles on international relations n breezes through it

- his friends wanna strangle him every time he complains about his schoolwork

- sakura’s eye is twitching, tenten is planning his untimely demise, ino is calling him a lazy idiot

- in his defense, he doesn’t really know what’s going on at any given moment

- he does his work on time but that’s only after he has to teach himself everything cause he skips class religiously

- high off his ass the entire four years

- is known around campus, not for his smarts, but because he’s been found sleeping in the oddest places

- there’s an instagram page for sightings of his naps in odd places (that was definitely not started by ino)

- graduates with decent grades and gets a job in the hokage’s office with the power of nepotism and his brain

Choji Akimichi: Culinary Arts

- he’s having a grand time really

- he’s a phenomenal cook and he already knows all the cooking techniques since his dad owns the highest rated restaurant in the country

- literally has never complained about anything a day in his life

- his to go meals are the only thing keeping his friends alive, they all have the diet of a college student which is water, tears, and a side of ramen

- always has excess food left from class so he goes around campus delivering it to the different food banks

- random people know about choji akimichi’s legendary hangover meal

- graduates with flying colors and goes on to take over his father’s restaurant and open one of his own!

Ino Yamanaka: Psychology (pre-med)

- annoying psych major who psychoanalyzes her friends

- drunk off her ass and she’s asking kiba if his attachment to his dogs comes from trying to make up for his terrible relationship with his mother

- is literally always out, no one has no idea how considering all the other psych students are fighting for their lives

- when she meets sai, she’s excited as fuck, she loves a fine ass man with a brain she can pick apart

- a little crazy

- graduates top of her major but it’s a mystery how she did such a thing 

Kiba Inuzuka: Vet science

- picked this because his dog got sick once n he was like bro what the fuck i need to never let this happen again

- actually a really good student contrary to popular belief! (hinata asked him to study with her one time n then it became a routine)

- who said FRAT BOY KIBA!!! (it’s me, i said frat boy kiba)

- chronic day drinker (bro needs to attend a.a meetings)

- gets an internship in the local vet office and he has deep beef with all the cats there

- he thinks they’re evil but the cats just smell dog on him n they do not fuck with it

- graduates at a decent place n goes to vet school (idk how that works, just pretend i do)

Shino Aburame: Entomology

- DUH!!

- bro might as well be a professor, he’s so good with the whole thing

- which is why he becomes a TA by the end of his first year (unheard of btw)

- out of everyone, he’s having the easiest time

- literally goes to class, does his little science classes, studies his little bugs, then comes home to his apartment n thinks about bugs

- he’s attended every seminar about environment so he can pipe up n say that preserving the bugs in each ecosystem could help

- graduates n goes on to get an offer to teach entomology at konoha university

Hinata Hyuga: Communication

- she has no idea what she wants to do

- this was mainly a placeholder till she figured something out

- the required public speaking course nearly took something out of her

- but after all her friends gathered to listen to her speech n cheer her on, she felt so much confidence that she got an amazing grade

- this led to her sticking with comm!

- she picks a focus on media so she ends up working at the tv station (behind the scenes, she’s not a in front of the camera type of girl)

- does great n has study circles with her friends :D

- doesn’t party, doesn’t drink, doesn’t do much of anything but she’ll go out to make sure kiba doesn’t get into a bar fight or something

Neji Hyuga: Physics

- not so sure about this one but idkkk something in my heart says he’s a physics major

- he’s not sure what he wants to do with it but it makes him sound smart when his dad brags to the other parents

- extremely paranoid about missing assignments so he does everything the moment he gets it

- has never been relaxed ever

- time management king

- he got pulled into a study circle and though he’ll NEVER admit it, it’s helped him a lot

- graduates in three years instead of four and goes on to grad school (he’s trying to avoid finding a job)

Rock Lee: Sports science

- DUH!!

- he wants to help injured athletes so why not study how a healthy body is supposed to work while exercising?

- he gets an internship with guy, who’s the athletic trainer of konoha university n he’s everyone’s favorite

- had learned not to complain about his workload around tenten (she broke down and started bawling over her homework and he freaked out)

- graduates with a good gpa and then gets a job with the athletic trainers office

Tenten: Business with a concentration in Entrepreneurship + Engineering Double Major

- this determined ass mf

- she’s been dreaming of creating a weapon that will allow for easy usage while also being tailored to the needs of the user

- so she decides on the business major part to create a business out of it and engineering so she can figure out how to do it herself

- she’s fighting for her life the entire four years of college

- turns down so many parties and invites because her homework is literally a stack the size of her

Kankuro: Political Science + Art History Double Major

- he wanted badly to do art history alone

- but he decides that maybe he does want to be employed in the future

- so he picks up political science as a side thing

- he cheats off gaara so he doesn’t have to focus too much on the polisci portion of his degree

- exchange student (obvi) n he’s indulging in konoha culture

- which is just getting black out drunk on a wednesday evening!

- finishes out college as a decent student, not exceptional but also he’s not terrible

Gaara: Political Science

- literally decides he’s gonna become the kazekage and picks up polisci immediately

- like his siblings he’s an exchange student

- literally doesn’t do any “stereotypical” college things

- doesn’t drink a drop of alcohol, doesn’t dabble in drugs, his most wild weekend is him indulging in TWO red bulls instead of one

- which is why no one is surprised when he graduates top of his class n immediately gets a job in the kazekage’s office where he works his way up

Temari: Meteorology

- just walk with me here

- exchange student from suna

- always found interest in weather patterns considering she lived in a place with such predictable patterns

- like day after day it was all sun, no rain until one random day, there was an absolute downpour before everything went back to normal

- she absolutely went WILDDDD she needed to know what had happened to cause such a thing

- she has no interest in smiling in front of the camera n giving the forecast, she wants to just study what the fuck goes on with the weather

- has a decent workload but she really doesn’t mind it, it gives her an excuse to avoid ino’s constant invites to go out

- one time, she went out n got hammered n slept with shikamaru n then she literally never did that again

- it worked cause she started dating him soon after but still… you can never be too safe

- graduates with a perfect gpa n goes on to become the best meteorologist in the world

[adhdnojutsu]

Your opinion? https://www.tumblr.com/dranosh-haran-of-paleoworld/766237407554273280/why-do-you-hate-itachi-so-much?source=share

Had to use a different browser because this pleasant person has me blocked lol anyway.

TL;DR: Itachi had no right to do the things he did, but he also had no choice. Even if adult onlookers could come up with choices, he was a child trapped in a mindset his authority figures hammered into him in his formative years, and then he was put under additional duress. Come the fuck on.

"This guy willingly betrayed his own people and family, selling them out to the government who wanted to destroy them all."

"Willingly" when talking about a 11-12-year-old brainwashed, groomed, traumatized child under duress is kinda wild. Yes, Naruto is all about normalizing child soldiers, but there's a line and that's Itachi having his horrible "milestones" at an age where others are still in school.

And it's not treason to report a conspiracy to commit, well, treason.

More after the break. Enjoy this screencap of a literal child and one of the many adults who chose to fail him.

Itachi was 11 when he joined the ANBU, 12 when he killed the clan. His incompetent piece of shit father dragged him into a "kill or be killed" situation at 4, and he already had the muscle memory of slitting throats ON REFLEX?? What the everloving fuck did Fugaku do to his toddler? He was encouraged to leave school and enter the field for more death and horror at 8. All for the alleged greater good that was peddled to children and adults more aggressively than America's magical sky cloth. Fugaku and Danzo played a grooming tug-o-war with a literal prepub child and actively, deliberately, had him believe the weight of the world rested on his 3 inch shoulders. The fuck did anyone think was gonna happen when Itachi joined the ANBU everyone encouraged him to join, and did the work he was taught to admire - BY Fugaku, by the way. Fugaku wanted a peacemaker, then tried to start a war. Hm.

Also, Itachi didn't "sell out" his clan. If I know a family member is about to start something with predictably catastrophic ramifications, like, you know, a glorified terrorist invasion ("coup"), I have a moral obligation to report that. "Family" does not matter. Blood, water, starting a war is something you deserve to have sabotaged. And if you're willing to kill, you better be ready to be killed. Everyone who cheered for the coup willingly risked death and willingly doomed their families. "Bloodless revolution" my ass, that is delusional. As if Konoha is just gonna accept Fugaku after a COUP!? Fucking TREASON!? Oppressed or not, you sow violence, you reap violence, and public perception matters. The public's perception of the Uchiha coup would probably be *checks notes* treason :)

"His own people"? They all treated him like a trophy and an attack dog when they didn't outright abuse him for speaking his mind, when he was clearly old enough to let them exploit him. All they had for him was demands to make them proud and bring them glory, at the cost of his well-being. Chapter by chapter in Itachi Shinden, you can watch him wither and crumble. When Itachi's comrade was killed when he was 8, Fugaku literally said "He'll get over it" while his boy was falling apart in the next room. Those are not "his own people", they're one big, bubbling cunt stew with very few exceptions, judging by the novel.

Whether the government wanted to destroy the Uchiha clan or whether it was racist or oppressive ultimately doesn't matter when the active threat to world peace and countless lives is coming from the other side. Two things can be true at the same time, so yeah Konoha sucked, but also yeah, the Uchiha posed a threat. The clan's lives weren't in danger when they decided to endanger everyone over discrimination that isn't even as egregious as what fat people on airplanes have to deal with. Defunding the police (LMAO), not letting a latent traitor run for president, surveillance, and a dedicated, OPEN compound none of the other clans who got one bitched about. Wow, what a compelling reason to set the world on fire!

Yes, Konoha failed the clan, yes, Konoha is scum for that. But two wrongs don't make a right. I'm tired of this whole nonsense of "they're oppressed so they're allowed to act like total barbarians and be the next oppressor". I'm tired on a personal level which you can probably guess.

This is not a responsible adult:

"He knew about Obito and that he was behind the 9-Tails attack but said nothing to anyone. He discriminated against his own people and slaughtered them all to the last child."

He should definitely have reported Obito. But calling his actions against the clan discrimination is like saying the German police discriminates against that Berlin-based crime family because it happens to be a BIPOC minority. THEY ALSO HAPPEN TO BE THE FUCKING MOB. Of course, most Uchihas probably weren't active combatants and didn't deserve to die, but as horrible as it is, strategically, Danzo had a point when he said there could be no potential avengers.

Plus, outsiders like to focus on numbers as if more dead people means more suffering, but this isn't true. Just because 99 people suffer and die with me, doesn't mean each of us suffers and dies 100-fold. Sasuke was based when he said Itachi should have killed him, too. Outsiders don't want to accept this because it IS horrible, but sparing a young child after killing his whole family, is not kind. What would've awaited any children Itachi spared? The village that ordered their parents' slaughter? A world that clearly doesn't want them and will come after them at the first chance? Yeah sounds ever so fucking merciful. Just because unaffected gawkers think preserving a unique cultural or genetic group is the most important thing, doesn't mean the people actually affected have such priorities when literally staring death or a life of pain in the face.

"He cast Tsukuyomi on his own parents and brutally murdered them, tortured his own little brother beyond imagine with one torture session putting Sasuke in a fucking coma, one he would've never gotten out of if it wasn't for that bitch Tsunade and that's the only good Tsunade did in the series."

When did he cast Tsukuyomi on his parents? And "brutally", well, they surrendered and he cut them down rather quickly. All murders are brutal. Should he have raided the local vet and injected them with anaesthetics first? He was a 12-year-old child, crying, shaking, probably exhausted and barely coherent after having killed all the others, and looking at his final victims, his parents, comforting him. Striking them down quickly was the best for everyone involved at that point, anything more elaborate, "more gentle", would have prolonged this horror. Also what did Tsunade do wrong, and if Itachi hadn't knocked Sasuke out for a while, he would have gotten himself killed. The Tsukuyomi was overkill, 100%.

"Itachi thought he was wiser and more noble than his own people, which was pure and utter arrogance. When brought back as an edo, he said that a 7-year-old Sasuke could've changed the clan. He called himself Itachi Uchiha of Konoha and that he specifically had no regrets he was a massive piece of shit in life and death."

This is called interpretation. Yes, he was an arrogant child, he admitted this, Shisui told him, adults told him. But being an ass at the dawn of puberty doesn't invalidate the fact that he WAS smarter than most and the Uchiha uprising WAS a problem, and the clan was infinitely more arrogant than him for thinking they could just take power and that's the end of it. They were delusional. Being 11 when pointing this out doesn't mean he's wrong.

Vilifying him for calling himself "Itachi Uchiha of Konoha" is silly. Many nations will do horrible things behind the scenes to keep the peace, and just because Sasuke and Itachi were the tragic and ever so pretty victims of this, doesn't make Konoha worse than others. It is a place people actually live in. A place people call home and have a right to call home and feel safe and thrive in. Itachi did what he was forced to do by both sides, to protect people's home and peace, not to get headpats from Danzo and Hiruzen.

He also never said he didn't regret the massacre. The fact that he said he wished he would have confided in Sasuke, the fact of him telling Naruto, Sasuke, and Kabuto that he was wrong to try and solve everything on his own, all suggest he wishes it had been different. His words when he dissolves are "Mou miren ha nai", which can be interpreted as regretting nothing, but this is usually meant in a sense of unfinished business. Itachi could not un-kill the clan. Danzo was dead. What more could he do that he could still have "miren" about? Personally, I think he shouldn't have undone the whole Edo Tensei because he kinda owed Sasuke to stick around and fight the other Edo Tenseis manually, but that's not the point.

Actual footage of Itachi alone with his thoughts, probably:

"None of his plans make any kind of fucking sense. He wanted to save Konoha from war even though the other villages wouldn't have attacked for their own reasons."

Kindly look at Syria, Sudan, or Yemen, because the civil war the Uchiha were sure to start, would have been bad enough, you absolute pinecone. But I agree, Itachi's plans were mostly shit, but who taught him any kind of life skills or coping mechanisms? He wasn't parented, he wasn't guided, he was a trained attack dog. He never grew up mentally because when you're not allowed to feel like a child, know what being a child is, how are you gonna know when you're supposed to be all grown up and smart? He treated his suicide by Sasuke like a playdate. He toyed with him. He was a typical old soul, trauma and paralysis masquerading as maturity and composure. It's very apparent in the novels how helpless and small he felt. When the FUCK did he get a chance to unlearn his helplessness on one hand, and the world resting on his shoulders on the other? Itachi was deranged, but not by his own doing. A 4 to 12-year-old child is not responsible for their poor life "choices".

"So Itachi saved Konoha from zero potential wars, especially when none of the other villages attacked after Obito's, Orochimaru's, and Pain's assaults in the series."

I wasn't aware Itachi's Sharingan could accurately predict the future. He stopped the civil war that was certain to happen and that he could stop. Not a single ninja has ever been expected to fix the whole world and the few who expected it of themselves were even more deranged than Itachi. Why hold a 12-year-old to a higher standard just because he's foolish enough to do so himself? Right until Shisui died, Itachi clung to his naive dream of becoming the greatest ninja to stop all wars. And then, both Fugaku and Danzo demanded he be that, when Shisui's death just had him realize how helpless he is. And then, there was a war looming on the horizon that he COULD prevent.

"He practically sent Sasuke gift wrapped to Orochimaru or Danzo. He knew about Obito and Pain's plans and yet did nothing about them, which just screwed over Konoha immensely."

Yeah he fucked up with Orochimaru, and this was one of the things he could have predicted after Orochimaru tried it with him. Not killing Orochimaru when he had both cause and opportunity, was bafflingly stupid and I'll chalk it up to plot armour since Itachi will kill his own mother to protect Sasuke.

He was also a useless spy in Akatsuki, yes. He aided and abetted in several Kage and Jinchuuriki assassinations, all to keep a cover of questionable use.

We do have to grant him that he needed to stay alive to give Sasuke deserved closure. He didn't even know Obito wasn't Madara, so I don't expect him to have known much about Pain's abilities. Given he allegedly ties with Jiraiya and we all know what Pain did to him, Sasuke would not have gotten his revenge. As for Danzo, can we not underestimate him please? He had to be worn down into self-destruction by Sasuke, and when Itachi attacked him in the novel after getting the MS, he was immediately stopped.

"He was never a prodigy or anything, unlike Sasuke. His fights are just him using genjutsu on his opponents and overpowering them with it, which just childish and stupid. He pulled Susanoo, Mirror Yata, and the Tsoka Blade out of his ass."

I agree Susano'o and its rigs were asspull done to compete with DBZ ratings, but how was he not a prodigy when he was recommended for graduation at 8? Poor writing or not, the canon fact is that Itachi was way ahead of his peers and many adults. We can't blame a character's personality in one moment, then bad writing the next. All writing boils down to creating the character's reality and all facts written by the author are equally valid.

Calling genjutsu childish and stupid is silly as you can apply this to all jutsu. Naruto's army of clones is arguably more ridiculous than mastering an otherwise underdiscussed technique at a level that has people like Kakashi scared. Personally, I think the big noisy techniques like Kisame's water jutsus and Hashirama's Slaparama are a lot more childish and geared towards hollering little boys. Itachi's fighting style is elegant and super duper gay.

"This fucker is all over the place and doesn't make sense. Dushman-e-jaan has posts that go into greater detail about how this guy doesn't make sense, and I recommend you read them as she does an infinitely better job at explaining my dislike for Itachi than I have."

Dushman explicitly supports this:

But thinks Konoha is worse for allegedly being this:

In other words, Doucheman is fine with making 0 sense whatsoever as long as they can virtue-signal for fascists if they know how to sell the underdog act.

[mixelation]

i went into the itasaku tag and there's a lot of art of them with minato. (if you just went WTF WHY? it's because in the big favorite character poll that happened semi recently, they're the top 3 favorite characters.) anyway obviously i started to go "hmmm could that ship WORK though"

here is what i have so far

itachi and sakura accidentally time travel directly into the middle of the third shinobi war. this forces an unlikely team-up thing for survival.

i think itachi is so committed to his villain bit he would rather fuck himself over royally than team up with sakura. sakura is SLIGHTLY more likely to play nice but still needs dire circumstances as motivation. so maybe: they end up immediately in enemy territory with their konoha headband (sakura) and uchiha eyes (itachi) and become immediate targets. suddenly sakura is like "hey i need you to kill everyone" and instead of doing that itachi coughs up blood. she can point him at enemies though and he'll genjutsu them and that works great. like this

so sakura is like "okay i need your help as a more experienced ninja for my own survival" bc yeah sakura is a badass, but she's never had to go on the run before or fight more than a handful of ninja at once. meanwhile itachi is breathing better than he has in years after one (1) session with sakura and suddenly a temporary team up seems like a great idea. like yes he wants sasuke to kill him but in order for that to happen he needs to live long enough to un-time travel himself.

however. neither of them have any idea what's happening. they get into stupid nerd fights over details of historical events. they cite publications at each other. frequently it turns out both of them are wrong. they also argue over whether or not they should seek help from konoha

sakura: you don't have to TELL the uchiha you murder them all in the future???? just use your fancy eyes to legitimize being an uchiha so they believe us!

itachi: (silent internal emoting)

meanwhile jiraiya has picked up on the most INSANE rumors of a tsunade impersonator smashing forests and mountains and shit. she may or may not have an even worse orochimaru impersonator with her. jiraiya sends minato to investigate.

there's a lot of fanboy debate over if minato could beat itachi in a fight. and for the purposes of this fic, i'm going to say: yes, yes he can. and it's incredibly upsetting for both itachi AND sakura

minato, to sakura, while sitting on itachi: okay so if you ARE an impersonator, your tsunade costume is really bad

sakura: (TERRIFIED SILENT SCREAMING?)

minato: but your jutsu impersonation is pretty spot on.....?

minato: (looks down between his knees at itachi) did you do that with your..... sharingan....... mr. uchiha bastard?

itachi: (has never been more confused in his life. he's never lost a fight this bad. he assumed losing a fight this bad would mean he'd die. he's not confused about being called a bastard though. that just happens.)

then idk. maybe they tell minato they're time travelers and he takes them back to jiraiya. the mood is very "minato is strong and hot and friendly. this is both sakura and itachi's type they didn't know they had. but also. help."

jiraiya: hmmm well, this one's obviously an uchiha, but YOU need to prove you're really tsunade-hime's apprentice. tell me...... what are her measurements

sakura: (pulverizes a boulder with her bare fist) does that answer your question or should i demonstrate on something else ( :

jiraiya: wow it's a mini-tsunade no further questions!!!!

i think i want minato to be in the 18-19 range so it's right around the time of itachi's birth. they decide itachi and sakura shouldn't go to konoha to reduce time travel shenanigans, such as accidentally preventing their own births. it seems like itachi would especially be at risk for butterfly effecting himself

sakura: (thoughtful expression)

itachi: no.

sakura: i don't say anything!

minato: ???? aren't you allies?

sakura: inside joke :) don't worry about it :)

so minato ends up their konoha proxy. he goes and researches un-time traveling them and then shows up and acts.... really charming? like when minato tells you everything will be okay, you believe him. and he's SMART and HANDSOME and once SETTLES AN ARGUMENT OVER WHERE THE RICE COUNTRY CAPITAL, WHICH MOVES ON AVERAGE EVERY THREE MONTHS DURING THE WAR, CURRENTLY IS. he's not even condescending that they're both wrong. itachi keeps thinking about him wrestling him down into submission and he doesn't know why. sakura is rethinking her personal definition of "dreamy"

sakura after minato leaves: this is SO upsetting. he's not even my type. i like dark and brooding.

itachi: what

sakura: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

and theeeen...... maybe they both get so sexually frustrated over minato they have sex with each other, idk don't worry about it

[socra-time]

Naruto Episode Comments, Ep. 1-20

(Context: I know a lot of the character’s names and some of the big plot points, but I’m going in blind otherwise)

Ep 1:

-Naruto is kinda annoying but also he’s just a lil gremlin and I can respect that

-I kinda love Iruka. Also he’s hot.

-”Clone jutsu? That’s my worst jutsu!” says Naruto, known for his Shadow Clone jutsu

-there’s just something so charming about the old anime style (but also some of the expressions are so goofy)

-HOLY SHIT IRUKA IS A REAL ONE

-I don’t trust the Hokage. I don’t really have a concrete reason for this yet, but his vibes are off

-oooh Irukaaaaa you’re so sexy for not being an asshole to the traumatized child

-oh I guess Shadow Clone jutsu is different from regular clones so disregard my earlier comment

-honestly this was a better first episode than I was expecting. I’m sold!

Ep 2:

-Naruto continues to be a lil gremlin

-Naruto pls for the love of god stop using your stupid ass “sexy jutsu”

-the Hokage really has had enough of these little kids and honestly I can’t even blame him

-I love the voice of Konohamaru’s trainer (I’m watching dub btw), it’s so pompous

-I love the ninja sandals. I want a pair.

-I like that Naruto’s voice actually sounds childish. It’s a tad bit grating sometimes but I think I’ll get used to it quickly

-STOP IT WITH THE SEXY JUTSU

-STOPPPPPP

-anyways #KonohamaruForHokage

Ep 3:

-again, the ninja sandals are so fucking drippy

-Ino wtf is up with your outfit. Why is half of it bandages

-the amount of sheer passive-aggressiveness in these 12 year old girls-

-Naruto has a crush on Sakura at first???? I didn’t know that lol

-Sasuke does not give a singular shit about anything other than his brooding and tbh I didn’t expect anything less

-Sakura’s little inner monologue is so feral lmao

-I don’t like Sasuke’s voice so far. It’s monotone, but not in an edgy way, just in a kinda dull way? Also he doesn’t really sound like a kid

-no hate to Shikamaru but his ponytail looks painful. My scalp hurts just looking at it

-oh my god not Sakura ragging on Naruto for being an orphan-

-lmao the amount of fucking drama with this team of kids is crazy

-why are the Hokage and Kakashi just casually breaking into Naruto’s home to look around

-rip Naruto’s bowels

Ep 4:

-I was not expecting Kakashi to sound like that but I’m kinda here for it actually

-oh I can already tell I’m gonna hate how the female characters are written in this show. Sakura honey I’m so sorry

-I know Sasuke’s got trauma or whatever but god he’s so fucking edgy. “I hate most things and I don’t like anything” bitch just say your favorite food or something

-oh my god Naruto is so tiny compared to Kakashi

-ok I already see why people love Kakashi so much

Ep 5:

-Kakashi is raining hell down on these children and I’m so here for it

-Kakashi is so COOL

-fucking “HEADHUNTER JUTSU” is the most metal name for a jutsu

-“you think like little kids” says Kakashi to the 12 year olds

-Kakashi really didn’t need to give his “you failed” monologue while pinning Sasuke to the ground. Bro was just doing it to assert dominance lmao

-I know that Sasuke’s reasoning for sharing is logical and not because he cares about Naruto, but I like that he offers his food to Naruto first

-aw the squad is starting to squad just a teeny tiny bit

Ep 6:

-booooo Naruto is a cat hater :(

-I love that Naruto is shorter than Sakura

-I like that we get some worldbuilding early on (also I’m a sucker for a good map so the scene explaining the different regions was cool)

-okay Sasuke is a badass

-Kakashi is also a badass but I already knew that

-I love how chill Kakashi is about literally everything

Ep 7:

-Kakashi is so over the bridge builder guy’s bullshit

-I do wish there was more of a sense of scale regarding how far apart the different locations are, since I have no idea how far away from Konoha the Land of Waves actually is

-okay I was NOT expecting Zabuza to fucking THROW HIS GIANT CLOUD STRIFE SWORD LIKE A BOOMERANG???

-Zabuza 🤝 Kakashi

not wearing their headbands correctly

-I like Zabuza’s voice

-the sharingan doesn’t make that much sense to me in terms of how it works but I’ll just chalk it up to anime logic

EP 8:

-oh the Water Prison jutsu is kinda terrifying to think about

-I can’t get over Zabuza’s fuckin armwarmer thingies

-ah yes gotta love the choppy old anime fight animation

-between Kakashi and Zabuza, Sasuke really cannot get a break from being pinned to the ground

-the demon wind shuriken is so sick-looking

-okay good on Naruto and Sasuke for working together but couldn’t they have given Sakura something to do

Ep 9:

-binging this makes the flashbacks at the beginning of episodes very annoying

-oh Kakashi is fucking PISSED

-shoutout to whoever animated all the hand signs for the jutsus holy shit

-yeah Kakashi would be so annoying to fight ngl

-Sakura is constantly calling Naruto out on his bullshit and that’s the kind of hater behavior I’m here for

-the soundtrack is hitting different this episode

-wow Naruto really saw another kid kill a man and got immediate imposter syndrome lmao

Ep 10:

-I like Haku’s painted nails

-aw Kakashi is actually a really encouraging teacher

-how is Naruto so bad with chakra control and yet was able to master Shadow Clone jutsu????

-Kakashi casually defying gravity to walk up a tree with his crutches was actually kinda hilarious to me for some reason

-I’m still not sold on Sasuke’s voice. There are moments when it’s fine but otherwise it’s just so stiff

-YAY FOR SAKURA GETTING A WIN OVER THE BOYS

-aw Naruto encouraging Sakura was cute (even though he was salty about her beating him)

-I like the difference that’s set up between having a lot of chakra (like Naruto) versus good chakra control (like Sakura)- hopefully this means people are going to go about how they train and fight differently

-Naruto asking Sakura for advice and asking her not to tell Sasuke anything was actually kinda endearing lol

Ep 11:

-dumb question maybe but if Gato is so against the bridge being built and he has the resources to hire a bunch of goons, why doesn’t he just bomb the bridge or something

-ah yes Sakura discovers poverty

-Sasuke is slowly growing on me. He’s very awkward

-Sakura I’m so sorry you have to deal with those two idiots as teammates

-holy fuck Inari’s backstory with Kaiza was darker than I thought it would be

-also rip Kaiza you were a real one

Ep 12:

-lmao not Naruto thinking Haku is prettier than Sakura fjfhshhajasisa-

-aw Sasuke helping Naruto walk home after training was nice, there’s definitely very slight development happening in their relationship as rivals

-Kakashi’s talk with Inari was a really nice moment

Ep 13:

-I like the way Haku talks. It’s very impassive and mysterious

-I’m always a fan of when the MC inspires literally everyone around them and Naruto is no exception

-Haku’s painted nails continue to slay (also I realized his toenails are painted too)

-the needles Haku fights with are really cool-looking but also seem really impractical

-YEAHHHHH NARUTO TIME

-aw Kakashi is proud of his kids

-goddamn Haku is so cool

Ep 14:

-I’m only thinking about this now but did Naruto never wonder why he had a big seal on his stomach

-literally half this episode was recap which was kinda annoying

-Naruto I love you but you’re so stupid

Ep 15:

-I really wish they gave Sakura more to do in this fight. I get that Kakashi’s the only one who can take Zabuza and that we need to see Naruto and Sasuke fighting together, but Sakura is kinda just standing there the whole time

-Haku needs to go to therapy ASAP

-I’m still confused about how Kakashi’s sharingan works tbh

Ep 16:

-aw yeah baby Sasuke sharingan time

-aw yeahhhh Sasuke saving Naruto

-god fucking dammit I think Sasuke is my favorite Team 7 member and I hate that for me

-oh boy Naruto is about to go apeshit

-also there is no way in hell anyone watching this actually believed Sasuke died

Ep 17:

-geez the animation quality really went up this episode

-yeah Haku’s backstory is just as tragic as I thought it would be but also Jesus Christ his relationship with Zabuza is so fucked up

-I’m very curious as to why Kakashi has the sharingan if it’s a bloodline trait of the Uchiha clan (and also why he only has it in one eye)

-Kakashi summoning fucking dogs was so random but also hell yeah doggies

-andddd Kakashi’s a lightningbender? I thought the sharingan was his main thing but apparently not

-Haku PLEASE go to therapy

Ep 18:

-this show’s soundtrack has actually been so good so far

-so like was Naruto actually gonna kill Haku before Haku stopped him

-oh FUCK rip Haku (also first real-time death of the series!)

-Kakashi closing Haku’s eyes and saving his body was nice, you can tell that he feels bad about him dying even though he was on Zabuza’s side

-also they didn’t hold back on the blood, goddamn

-I like that the bridge builder seems to have a bit of a soft spot for Sakura since she’s been with him the most

Ep 19:

-Gato is literally so fucking disgusting I need him dead ASAP

-Kakashi wrangling Naruto back from attacking Gato was kinda funny

-ah yes the big Shonen Protagonist Speech™ from Naruto

-Zabuza’s last hurrah was fucking epic, I really like how his and Haku’s story ended (also the line “where he’s going, I cannot follow” about Zabuza joining Haku in the afterlife was metal). I like that Zabuza got a last moment of humanization

-aw Naruto is such a wholesome, determined lil guy

-oh Naruto is gonna be so insufferable when he finds out the bridge is named after him

Ep 20:

-HELL YEAH CHUNIN EXAM TIMEEEE IM SO EXCITED

-wow Naruto is really out here fantasizing about being Sasuke’s knight in shining armor

-Sasuke is a cocky little shit but also he’s technically right about Naruto and Sakura being “worse” than him

-so far Sakura’s biggest fight has been her beating up fuckin Konohamaru

-SAND SIBLINGS SPOTTED!!!

-I don’t like Temari’s voice

[mikeellee]

Sorry for entering your ask but can I rant how much I hate the disrespect Izuku got by the author himself. I know the shonen mangas where the main character get preferred by a much more interesting character (take gojo, or Mikey from tokrev) heck take bsd from dazai or chuuya. These characters are much more popular than main characters but you know what the author respect and care about main character. They have people who outside of these popular characters actually give two shit about the main character or worry about mc.

My favourite example is of Tokyo Revengers, a shonen jump manga. The main character Takemichi family never get revealed. Instead we got more focused on Manjiro Sano, Mikey. The author put more focus on this character and Mikey is the central focus of the story throughout but you know what Wakui still respect Takemichi. He give him character development, people who care about Takemichi as person. When he got down due to plot, people support him. Sure the goal of the main character was saving Mikey till the end to the point he run away from a day before his wedding. Mikey is doomed narration wise and Takemichi want to save Mikey. Takemichi admire and respect Mikey but it is same with Mikey. He admire and respect Takemichi very much. Wakui (author) make sure put these two characters in equal place narration wise. Mikey respect for Takemichi is very strong too. He see him as 'his hero'. Mikey nickname the main character 'Takemitchy' as a nickname. Mikey respect the main character so much it is insane.

There was several plot holes and the way story got rushed in Tokyo Revengers make you desire more but Wakui did give a happy ending for Takemichi. He marry the girl and the reason why the story started, he achieved a goal he wants and is in much better place since the story started.

I don't care about rushed endings or even bad endings. I just want endings at least make sure for main character where they at least respected or in peaceful and happy after achieving their goal after suffering throughout the story. But instead we got this with Izuku canonically and it make my heart ache. Izuku don't deserve this treatment. I don't know what is hori hating his own character so much he give the entire story to bakugou. If he love bakugou that much why not make bakugou main character. Izuku doesn't deserve all this bullshit.

My point is Horikoshi could have easily make a story if he wants to put his shining favourite characters in the centre but make sure to give the respect and care to Izuku like Wakui did with Mikey and Takemichi. But we got this with MHA!!! What the hell?

hi @circles19

First off, I didn't watch the animes you mentioned- yes, I heard about it but never saw it- have heard about their endings here and there and while animes Shonen do have a reputation of bad endings but...let's take a look into Naruto, yes, I promise this will make sense.

Naruto had a really bad ending as the fans label but if we ignore Boruto as any sane fan does and the movie Naruto the last movie...the ending of the manga does make sense. The mc does fullfil his purpose, save Sasuke. Its not ideal, I give that. But as many Naruto meta blogs forget...Naruto is also a victim in the konoha system...him being quiet about the secret of the massacre is not doing him any favours, if anything it does disfavors.

But I always wonder how it would be if Naruto told the secret about the Uchiha massacre. Would people believe? Would they care? If I have made this question a few years ago, many would say how no one would turn a blind eye to such thing....but now I think Naruto may be trying to protect the uchihas in his own way bc imagine if he had revealed everything only for ...no one give a fuck.

The ending of Naruto is not ideal. I would prefer one where Sasuke and Naruto get justice or just leave konoha. But it works for what it is.

Mha is a mean spirit story and lazy. Let me preface saying how ...many mangas in Japan does tackle bullying, and get a hold on this, THEY SHOW AS A BAD THING! So the excuse many hori fans say "Japan sees bullying different" is false. MANY MANY MANGAS SHOW HOW BULLYING IS BAD, HOW YOU SHOULD PITY THIS CHARACTER WHO IS BEING BULLIED, HOW THE BULLY IS NOT A GOOD PERSON.

Izu's origin story doesn't make sense! I'm sure you must have seen some of my posts how I do always say QUIRKLESS discrimination is not a real thing and it's really not. Izu is abused bc...yes, why not? But don't take the abuse too serious. Its just deku.

Izu being QUIRKLESS also adds nothing to the story. What's the matter if he is quirkless? He is abused even when he get a quirk.

He has no friends. No family. No mentor. Nothing.

We don't get Izuku. His abuser? We get why he wants to be a hero. Izu? Shrugs.

Its SMTH I always harpy here. Izu IS the perpetual odd duck. He is not allowed to shine, not allowed to outshine BK. His quirk hurts him (I hate when people call Izu a Gary stu bc "he can use 45% of ofa? Booo" I hate when people say "don't want to make Izu op" like you can't write good stories with a kid who was abused and now has a strong quirk?) and no one in UA cares. No one does anything.

Aizawa is a shitty and malicious teacher.

Am is a shitty and incompetent teacher.

Its like so tiring...Izu is mistreated left and right in the narrative. (I hate ochako. You have no idea she and the rest of A1) and the fandom follow along:

Cucko jokes

Macdonald jokes (he is a teacher in a country where being a teacher is a honour. Leave to hori to do that!)

Im tired. In my fics, I go against fanon and make my own thing. Izu is a woman(bc holy shit izu and women are mistreated fr plus the plotlines I can come up with Izumi is wow) who is allowed to be angry at what she endured.

Fuck ua

Fuck A1.

[welkinsky]

Naruto Shippuden | Calling The By Their First Name

Requested By: @nanahatsugun <3 thanks for the ask!

Part 1: Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke & Shikamaru

Neji

The guy ALWAYS has a cool demeanor and is rarely ever fazed by anything.

But this one time you two were training and he was teaching you a new move. What he loves to do is play around with you until you're super frustrated. Playfully of course.

But this time he took it too far. "Are you done?" you asked with a straight face to which he chuckled and said, "Yea yea now let's get to real training." But he tricked you again!

"Neji Hyuga!" You said standing back up. If you were not facing him you would have never realized the effect that it had on him. He completely froze for a second.

You never call him by his full name and are always sweet to him. And THAT is when he knew that he fucked up.

You couldn't hold in your laugh though heh it was too funny. Plus, you kinda felt bad for him. He never admits it when you tell the story to others and would pout a little when you do.

Itachi

Your relationship with Itachi is very mature & understanding to the point that you two rarely ever fight. It is always a discussion when any of you feel something is off and you get it sorted.

And since you both were away on missions most of the time you don't get to be together in the first place so when you do, you want to make it as good as you both could.

You both decided to meet in a nearby village to Konoha as your path were crossing in the missions. The decided time was afternoon but he didn't come, the evening went by and the night came and you were worried plus super frustrated because your partner was bugging you to move on with the mission.

As you sensed his Chakra and realized he was here you shouted "Itachi Uchiha you better have a good explanation."

He brought some flowers that he picked on the way which he dropped, lol he was so scared. You were the only one who can scare the shit out of the best of the best from Konoha.

Later he told you that he went to check on Sasuke and some of the leaf village ninjas got in the way so he had to fight a little. 

You felt bad later but didn't miss the chance to make fun of him later for his face was as still as a stone because of fear.

Not so much to your surprise he, of course, laughed along and admitted that he WAS scared for his life and genuinely haven't felt this in quite some time now.

Obito

He absolutely smothered you with love and had just the type of affection type that you wanted. A mix of physical touch plus an act of service. But he sometimes went too much with the act of service to the point you'd feel guilty about it.

You did tell him that it made you feel this way and he promised that he'll take care of it the next time.

This one time you told him that you loved this flower that you saw on the outskirts of the rain village when you were on a mission.

The next morning you woke up to your room FILLED with those flowers.

"Obito Uchiha" you shouted from your room assuming he was around somewhere. He got anxious thinking he did too much again.

You heard a weak "yes" from the kitchen. When you didn't answer he peaked from the door with just one eye peeping out.

"Come here" you demanded not facing him but the flowers. He figured that he went too far again.

But when you turned with tears in your eyes. He was relieved a little to know that they were tears of happiness.

Shisui

Shisui was the kind of guy who never really gave you any reason to be angry. You mention something once and he'll never do it again.

And your friends were huge fans of his. It was as if they kept tabs on him more than YOU did which was just funny to you at first.

But then it started to get annoying. They'd surround him taking nonsense and in their fake high-pitched voice when he was around.

He already was busy most of the time and never really got any time and whenever you two would hang out they will show up.

This one time it happened again. You waited, 10 mins passed by, 15 mins passed by and you were losing patience now. But you kept quiet because you knew that he was KIND OF a hero of this generation as he was so advance and people were fond of him, especially ladies.

But man oh man they were getting way too close. "Shisui Uchiha," you said as loud as you can making everyone go silent.

"I think we should go," he said bowing to everyone and taking your hand.

He started apologizing but before he could go any further, you stopped him. "I just wanted to get away from there, heh I'm not mad at you or anything," you said genuinely smiling.

Because with his politeness you two would be there for the next hour as well.

He let out a sigh of relief although he did say that you scared the shit out of him for a second there.

-----------------------------------------------------

Thanks For Reading and for the ask too <3

Naruto Shippuden Masterlist

If you liked it you can check out the masterlist too!

Asks are still open if you have any other ideas as well ;)

[stu-dyingstudent]

Sakura fic recs: civilian discrimination/clan politics

Another personal favorite type of read when it comes to Sakura Haruno fanfiction! I think it's reasonable to assume considering the treatment of the branch families in the Hyuga clan that if the series was a little darker/serious, then Sakura, TenTen, and Lee would have definitely been looked down upon for not being from a clan. They don't have the same connections and support that the clan kids do and so I love when fics bring this up and take it further.

Also, check out my list on third war continued/Sakura sent to war prematurely as all of those fics bring up this hierarchy.

Started: 2024.07.23

Last Updated: 2024.07.23

note: feel free to check out my master list which has a bunch of Sakura Haruno fic recs (all organized)!

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A Drop of Poison by Androgyninja || ao3 || gen || M || canon divergent || complete

After being humiliated during a sparring match, Sakura realizes that she no longer wants to base her future on a boy who doesn't even like her. With a newfound sense of determination, she sets off to become a truly terrifying kunoichi, making her fair share of friends and enemies along the way.In other words, Sakura discovers who she really wants to be and fucks shit up along the way. And if she poisons a few important people? Well, that's just collateral damage.Begins during Sakura's final year at the academy and ends right before the canon time skip.

Where the hierarchy of the clans and clanless is more prominent than ever, Sakura comes to the stark realization of her true purpose on team 7. A Drop of Poison is probably the first fic that comes to mind when I think of discrimination and clan politics in Konoha and it's for a good reason. Constant hurdles are thrown Sakura's way because of her lineage and the actions she chooses to take bring ramifications which she'll have to face head first. Also, poison-user! Sakura is such a great idea (I wish this was canon)!

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bite me and see, said the fly to the spider - MirrorImage003 || ao3 || itasaku || T || canon AU || ongoing

In which Sakura is not initially a part of Team 7. In which she wears her failures like armor and brandishes her fears like her most trusted weapons. In which I do what hundreds of other authors have done before me, and rewrite Sakura's story. Non-massacre AU. Canon Divergent. Slow-burn.

Sakura's first team is made up of the "expendables." Placed with a fresh and inexperienced jonin as their sensei, it results in the quick demise of the team. Now slotted into team 7, Sakura has to face the harsh remarks regarding her first major failure as a shinobi and persevere to prove her worth to the village.

.

Expedient - SwiftKick || ffn || T || canon AU || complete

Konoha and Iwa sign a truce and agree to an Exchange Program between recently promoted genin to "bolster village relations." Fortunately, if anything were to go wrong, Haruno Sakura was just average enough to risk losing.

From what I remember, Expedient is not very heavy on this dynamic, however, it is a major contributor as to why Sakura was the one sent on the exchange. She was deemed as so average, so unremarkable, that the village could risk her. Even so, Sakura does face a lot of criticism from Iwa shinobi and civilians, marking her as an outsider. I don't really want to spoil anything, but just know that the sensitivity of her position makes it difficult for her both in Konoha and Iwa. This one is an all time favorite of mine and I didn't have high expectations going into it, but this fic is truly great. Deidara is such a fun character and I really enjoyed Sakura's growth.

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Daughter of Fire - justjstuff || ao3 || kakasaku || E || canon divergence || incomplete (maybe ongoing)

Sakura got up and didn’t bother brushing the dirt from her dress. She had a feeling she was about to get even dirtier. She looked at the memorial stone one last time, memorizing the characters without even realizing she was doing it. It would serve from that moment on as a reminder of her determination. She wouldn’t let Naruto and Sasuke join the names carved on that stone. That was her nindo.

Sakura faces discrimination from the council as they are not pleased that she, a civilian born, is to be the one to carry on Tsunade's legacy. I also really appreciate how Sakura's parents were handled in Daughter of Fire as it felt very logical rather than some of the other fics I have read. Her growth throughout this story is great and realistic all while pointing out aspects from the original series which were flawed and dare I say misogynistic.

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Terror feeds the Soul - Pleasedial123 || ao3 || gen || not rated || canon AU || one-shot complete

Sakura is not an idiot. She was praised for her intelligence, reached Top Kunoichi at the Academy for her brains. So it doesn't take her long after being placed on the powder keg that is Team Seven to realize she is going to die. Kakashi, career shinobi since age-six, has no idea what the hell is going on with his little pink-haired student or why there is such fear in her eyes. So he gives her head-pats. That's what you do for scared puppies isn't it?

My poor girl Sakura was STRESSING in Terror Feeds the Soul, but it's for good reason. She has made the stark realization that with no clan ties and no apparent importance to the village, she would be that last on team 7 to be saved. Anyway, there is some pretty cute Kakashi and Sakura bonding here (platonic) that I love.

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The Sixth Shadow - thinknicht || ao3 || kakasaku || M || canon AU - eventual time travel AU || ongoing

No one seemed to find it odd when little Haruno Sakura threw herself smack dab in front of a Chidori and Rasengan. Not even Kakashi stopped to wonder.(He really should have.)

The story of how Sakura came to be the sixth hokage despite all of the challenges thrown her way. Many of the characters are super OOC, but in The Sixth Shadow she faces the ultimate discrimination based off her being civilian born. Through trials of attempted sabotage, classism, and other conflicts Sakura's drive is unwavering. Such an interesting take on how the events of the series could have unfolded and the political aspects are super interesting. However, be warned that Kakashi is an absolute HATER (in the beginning), but he gets better! Also, the fic is super long....

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Got Nothing to Prove (but I'ma show you how I do) - GuardianMars || ao3 || gen || T || mission gone wrong || incomplete

Civilians and orphans are always used as cannon fodder. Sakura’s not sure where she first came by this phrase. Whether she heard it or read it, she can’t quite remember, but it stuck in her head and it stays in the back of her mind whenever Team 7 takes a mission. When Sakura and Tenten get placed on a temporary team looking into a series of kidnappings of local village girls, Sakura is naturally worried. She doesn't want to be cannon fodder. When the mission goes to pot, Sakura and Tenten find themselves far away from home and with only each other to rely on. As it turns out being cannon fodder is the least of their worries.

Sakura and TenTen are chosen specifically for a mission due to their lack of clan affiliation. Things end up taking longer than anticipated and Kakashi and Gai, being the only voices for the girls, decide that it's time to step in. This fic is super interesting because it's actually kind of a mystery. One where we don't truly know what happened on the mission but through multiple different perspectives we slowly find out. Unfortunately, this is incomplete though.

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Once again, please send me recs of this genre since I'm obsessed!

[oh-no-its-bird]

"Madara and Kakashi's field trip from hell"

Where warring era Madara somehow time travels first to kid era Kakashi (before his dad died), then manages to accidentally kidnap him, time travels AGAIN to future Konoha, then eventually back to warring era— all of this with a very very angry, very very kidnapped kid Kakashi in hand.

Madara is screaming wordlessly as Kakashi screams back and tries to bite him, an older Kakashi physically cringing and averting his eyes while team 7 watches in awe

It's hated on sight for kid Kakashi and Sasuke actually, but like the mutual respect kind of hatred. It's just hatred for Sakura and Naruto. Damn, even in the future Kakashi is surrounded by incompetent children, this is tragic. (Older Kakashi is putting his head in his hands in tears. Why was he like this.)

Kid Kakashi tells Naruto he's just as stupid as his dad, which Naruto takes as a compliment and also an earth shattering realization bc WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNOW MY DAD???

Kid Kakashi mistakes older Kakashi for his dad at first and it's exactly as painful as you would expect

(Somewhere in another timeline, Sakumo is losing his SHIT over Kakashi's kidnapping by Madara. Madara is so so sorry he did not do this on purpose oh god put the sword down listen we can talk this out wait nO LISTEN WE CAN TALK THIS OUT—)

Kakashi hates himself but especially hates himself at that age and it definatley shows and is very painful for everyone around bc hes just straight up mean to like an actual 6 year old. Who is also himself. It's a lot.

Kid Kakashi also absoloutley DESPISES what hes become like holy shit Kakashi is everything he hates in a person

Madara genuinley did not mean to kidnap Kakashi btw. He actually didn't even mean to time travel. I'm thinking it was an Uzumaki seal in some old ruins activated by accident and gone wrong. Madara lands in a new place and uses his sharingan to replicate it in an attempt to get back, but knows very little about seals so like 90% of it is guess work and the other 10% is prayer

Kakashi somehow gets involved by snooping and gets hit with his attempt at a return seal (honestly his own fault) and now Madara is just kind of. Stuck with him. AND not even home what the fuck !!! They have to work together kind of but also Kakashi wants to see him dead and Madara is having to physically wrestle him away (he is a demon baby holy shit) <- then repeat that process with his next attempt at a go home seal but like, this time it works!! He's home!!! But also he was actually trying to go back to Kakashi's time to put him back. So. Oops.

It's like a really bad situation for Madara actually bc he has this whole KID now. This kid who hates him (tho somewhat less, after all they've gone through on their little field trip) and Madara wants to put him back!!! He does not want to keep Kakashi!!! Holy shit he does not want to keep this child. But he only made it home on pure fucking luck and he can't risk trying AGAIN and never making it back. But he also can't just send Kakashi ALONE, he's 6! He's 6 and the seal is unstable and Madara doesn't know where he'll end up and look Madara isn't a good guy but he is NOT about to see this whole ass toddler dead because of his fuck up.

When they eventually go back to the warring states together Kakashi is like a miniature Tobirama and people react appropriately

The Uchiha are eyeing Madara like uhhhhh Madara-sama is there something you'd like to share with us.

(Also Kakashi is actually Tobirama's blood related nephew but neither Madara or Kakashi is aware of this)

Madara doesn't really want to just set Kakashi loose on the world??? It's a dangerous world! Kakashi is proven dangerous but like FUCK he's kind of Madara's responsibility now and oh god he has a kid why does he have a kid he's going to fucking kill it by accident and—

So anyways Madara is stressed.

The Hatake are a Senju ally and also fucking impossible to track down or contact if you aren't one of them. They're nomadic and in Iron country, so there's actually 0 chance of Madara trying to pass Kakashi off to them

Madara debates trying to throw Kakashi at Tobirama/Hashirama and run away to avoid awkward questions

The Uchiha elders are pushing for him to be a political prisoner to use against the Senju, maybe Madara makes some bullshit up about Kakashi being related to Hashirama and Tobirama idk (it's not even that much of a lie, I mean, he IS, just not in the way anyone expects)

Uhhh endgame getting peace early by bluffing really really hard about Kakashi being a missing Senju brother?? And like "ransoming" him for peace (Hashirama has NO fucking clue what Madara is on about but yeah sure he'll take any excuse to end the war)

Hashi and Tobi are staring at a tiny little glaring Kakashi like 👁👁👁👁 "So, Madara. Wanna talk about where you found our,,,, 'long lost brother',, you said he was?"

Madara, visibly sweating and unable to meet their eyes, "n,,no,,,"

[regret-with-a-u]

IM GOING INSANE!!!!!!!!!!

WHY THE SAMURAI IN NARUTO ARE LIKE THAT?? Anyways I need to write Samurai!Kakashi fic or I will literally die!! LIKE LIKE LIKE- SOMETHING SOMETHING AND- Sakumo one day leaves Konoha for the safety of his son, last of his kin. And settles in Iron country because they can hide better, the ninja part of him still here. GOING MORE SICKO MODE- Hatakes were a free clan, they were nomadic and loved the hunt and lets just say for the sake of the story they were originally Samurai's. THEN KONOHA HAPPANED AND STUFF AND YEAH The reason Hatakes were lost because they were samurai's in a shinobi village, hence the why Samurai country just keeps sending side eyes to Shinobi's LMAOOOO. Anyways, somehow even in another fucking country Kakashi gets Obito's sharingan because I am a sap. (I have a reason don't worry!) And now whole world is trying to understand: "...the oni has a what? A red eye?? Does samurais even has genkai- FUCK YOU MEAN ONI SAMURAI HAS A SHARINGAN??? 'What did you thought?' I DONT KNOW?!!! BUT NOT THE FUCKING SHARINGAN????" "Why is Fugaku tweaking? Is Minato crying-" "Don't worry about it Kushina"

LIKE THE BULLSHITERY WOULD BE HILARIOUS!!!!

Obito with newly rescued Rin in T&I : We know no body Sarutobi: .....you are missing an eye Obito, not giving a shit anymore: I dropped it :/ Into my soup :(( and then I ate it :)) Delicioux!! Yum Yum Yum :D Sarutobi: ..... Rin at the bacground breakdancing LIKE THE FIC IS NOT GONNA BE LIKE THIS BUT THEY WOULD JUST TROLL PEOPLE!!! Anyways... A fic idea for another day....

[martialartslover7]

In defense of Sasuke Uchiha (Blank Period)

Another rant post of mine. Hoo boy.

Like, I don't know about you guys, but, honestly, Sasuke should have returned to the Leaf village, regurlarly, after the war. Not after months or years, and here is why: Sasuke may have chosen to leave the village and become a rogue ninja, but never forget...

...he is as much of a victim, as the rest of the entire Uchiha clan (safe for Madara and Obito), and the Leaf village, in the grand scheme of things. He was never the problem.

Remember, Sasuke wouldn't have even defected in the first place, had the Konoha elders not been such an ignorant and stubborn bunch, that is both stuck in the past, and unable to move on. Remaining bitter towards the Uchiha, until they get laid to rest in their coffins. ...Our totally trustworthy leaders, everyone! Would you still apply for a job with them, after what they had done to the Uchiha?

Here is a thing, if they were fine with the Uchiha getting sacrificed to "maintain peace" and wiping everything under the rug, too, where should we draw a line? Where does it stop? What other clan might have been next, had the Uchiha not been the ONLY ones to agree with a coup d'état? You really mean to tell me, neither of the clans, that had sensory abilities like the Hyuga, the Yamanaka, or even the Inuzuka, were ever made aware of this? This. Was. A. MASSACRE. This wasn't a spy operation, innocent civilians were slaughtered in the process, remember, not every Uchiha was even able to unlock their own Kekkei Genkai, so, the only logical conclusion is:

Either, Danzo might have blackmailed the other clans to shut their mouths about this incident, because, come on, NO ONE can tell me, the screams from men, women and infants, along with blood splatters, could have been missed so easily, I know the Uchiha were shoved into the very edge of the village, but what are the chances of this just getting ignored, just like that? Especially if you have the Byakugan, or you have a hound with you, like the Inuzuka?

The elders from each clan in Konoha were all in on this, as an orchestrated, planned event, choosing willingly to ignore it all, because hey, it's so convenient to just look away, when it doesn't concern your own clan, right?

This isn't the face of an "irredeemable piece of trash war criminal, who doesn't deserve forgiveness". This is the face of a man, who has seen and been told some shit, that cannot ever be unseen or unheard. Imagine being born into a world, where, the very second you drew breath, everyone hates you, just for existing, for things, you didn't even ask to be burdened with. Much less, when you were still a kid, too. And doing it in SECRET, no less. Dude. This doesn't take a genius to understand, how fucked right up this is.

Plus, am I the only one who finds it insanely shitty from either Naruto, Sakura or Kakashi, to never make any efforts to publically criticize or oppose the elders for what they have done to the Uchiha clan? Wanting to bring the truth about the entire clan to light, and put the elders and feudal lords on the spot? Just for the fact alone, that they never once tackled this subject during the Blank Period, is, to me, a very shitty thing to do, especially since Naruto prides himself the loudest on having made Sasuke come back to his senses, and yet, never once, does he challenge these old farts? Really? Maybe I am missing something, feel free to correct me, but from my memory, neither he, or Kakashi, when he was still Hokage, made ANY efforts to publically apologize to the Uchiha clan, or even so much as trying to build memorial stones for the deceased Uchiha, or hell, even Itachi (I think?). And yes, I know, the clan was at the verge of starting a civil bar, but again:

NOT ALL OF THEM. WERE FINE. WITH IT. ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING, IT ALL MOSTLY STEMMED FROM MADARA BEING A SORE LOSER, AND TOBIRAMA BEING A RACIST PIECE OF GARBAGE. AND A HUGE PORTION OF THE UCHIHA WERE NOT EVEN ASSIGNED SHINOBI. PRAY TELL, KILLING EVERYONE, BECAUSE OF A FEW ROTTEN APPLES MAKES EVERYTHING OK THEN?!?!?!?!?!

And Kakashi bears Obito's Sharingan, he is living evidence too, of what public scrutiny and scapegoating can do to a person! His life, is essentially no different from either Naruto or Sasuke, and yet, despite having taught Sasuke, and still loving him as a teammate, no, as FAMILY, he NEVER ONCE HELPED HIM GETTING HIS NAME CLEARED?! What the FUCK, Kishimoto?

Also, can I be honest? I hate Boruto, as a follow-up story, for a different reason altogether. That being:

It STILL pretends as if the Uchiha are "evil, by default", and the elders are still, somehow, by some twisted "miracle", "in power", during Naruto's and Kakashi's rule. I mean, just for the fact, that these dried up twigs still have any say, WHATSOEVER, even the tiniest bit of presence in ANY capacity, after all the vile shit that they have pulled, by siding with Danzo, and making backhanded deals with other villages, is enough of a reason for me to more than sympathize with Sasuke's decision to never truly consider this village home, because WHY WOULD HE? These assholes ruined his life, way before he was even born, and yet these same jesters expect Sasuke to live in seclusion, and in shame, over what his heritage has done, but taking accountability for their own actions? Pffft, noooo, why would they? Their reputation as "village leaders" is more important than confronting their own shortcomings...

So, no, after the war, Sasuke should have been given some form of leniency, with either Naruto, Sakura or Kakashi having gone off to spread the word to other nations that what he did, cannot easily be pardoned, but they at least, THE BARE MINIMUM, deserve to know and understand, WHY he did all this. This. THIS course of action would have been a serious love letter to Sasuke, a sign of appreciation that, no matter where he went, he will always matter, even if he believes himself to be undeserving of it, because: It just isn't productive to be leaving an already scarred individual like him in the mold of "all Uchiha, bad", because that just won't work out. Paying for his wrongs is one thing, but putting him, for the rest of his life, along with his future descendants in the "square of shame", is just plain pathetic. Sasuke deserves to have some peace and quiet, too.

Moral of the story: DO NOT. LET HISTORY. REPEAT ITSELF.

Look, this post is not meant to excuse anything Sasuke has done, I am only providing more context that explains, why I feel like, the story was doing him dirty, especially near the end of Shippuden and during the Blank Period. You can think whatever you want about him, I don't care, all I am saying is, even someone like him deserves some well-deserved closure, because, that never happened. The stigma has not disappeared, and it wasn't Sasuke's doing, it was Madara's, don't get that confused. Besides, go on, keep ignoring the concept of "from action, follows a reaction", just so you can keep twisting and turning it, to always make Sasuke appear like the bad guy. Keep doing. You're doing great. In exposing how stupid and ignorant you are, frankly put.

Sasuke deserves to live in peace, he deserves to be happy, and not live in another illusion of supposed "peace", when really, nothing has changed, he deserves better. And look, we can judge Itachi all we want, but in the end, he still loved his brother, and that remains forever, all he did, was for him, as twisted as his method ended up being. It still ended up saving lives. No one else deserves to bear such a burden. Which makes it even more imperative to not wipe something as important as this under the rug, because "the truth is too unpleasant". Case closed.

Peace.

[mdr-reikas]

100% agreed on the whole way naruto shippers clearly do not actually care about or like madara and sasuke. for example fucking sasusaku shippers clearly do not notice or care about how sasuke is miserable fighting for some village that ruined his life and that no one knows the truth about the uchiha massacre they just see him as some strong skinny twink bishie boi who is only nice to their precious self insert sakura they see him as a thing for sakura. don't even get me started on fucking tobirama x madara or the toxic tobirama stans in general, i have seen horrific shit of madara being violently raped by tobirama on ao3 as a punishment of his crime for "being an uchiha who hasn't been humbled". the sad thing is that i have seen crossover romance shipping fanfic that actually respects both madara and sasuke as characters (making sure they ain't OOC or stripped of their nuance/personality) and they have more chemistry with characters from different anime/manga series. both madara and sasuke deserve better from this damn fandom than just being hashirama and naruto's cute little waifus who constantly get kidnapped like Princess Peach and get pregnant with uchiha babies like a fucking Uchiha baby factory.

So real!!! I think one of the reasons why this happens sometimes is because a lot of naruto fans/shippers are very pro konoha, so anything that Madara or Sasuke do is instantly a crime against humanity to them, so in order to make their ship work they have to take their morals and issues away from Madara and Sasuke, so they "aren't evil" anymore.

Also, that last part about t*birama/madara is so true. I mean, aside the fact that Madara would never be able to forgive him for killing Izuna, Tobirama also just had zero respect for him as a person. Tobirama felt no empathy for the Uchiha, and to pretend that he would set that aside for Madara is just insane to me. It's fine as a crack ship or if you write it to be intentionally toxic (which can be fun sometimes), but just taking away all the nuance these two characters have to make them fuck??? why?? Like, with hsmd I atleast understand where people are coming from, childhood friends trope and all, but what is the appeal of tobimada? No one who actually likes Madara would be able to ship tobimada, and no one who actually likes Sasuke would be able to ship sasusaku.

Madara and Sasuke definitely deserved sooo much better, they deserved loving people who actually respected them and their dreams (and no hsrm did not respect mdr's dreams while he was still in the village let's not play pretend).