#one step three steps

[oh-no-its-bird]

"I bet Hikaku-sama would know how to castrate someone." Ichigo mumbled, kicking at the floor dejectedly, and her mother paused. "Why in the world would Uchiha Hikaku know how to safely castrate someone?" Ichigo stared at her mother blankly, who stared back with an equally confused expression. "Um, cuz he's a eunuch, right?" "Excuse me?" Ichigo frowned. "He had to chop of his own, for some mission in the Daimyo's court or something, right? Before he became clan heir?" "Where did you hear that?" "The twins told me!" Ichigo scowled, oddly miffed by her mother's doubt. "And you believed them?" Ichigo planted her fists on her hips. "Well when I asked Kagami, he believed it too! And every time after that when I mentioned it to people, no one argued!" "Hatake Ichigo," her mother began, and Ichigo froze at her dangerously level tone. "Have you been going around telling people that the Uchiha clan heir is a eunuch." "Um." Was all she could manage, finally realizing she may have messed up. Just a bit.

Doing something silly, no one look at me rn

[uh-oh-its-bird]

Short snippet from my fic 'one step three steps' under the cut. Ft. Shinobi politics and Hatake clan lore via gossiping at the bar about what happens when a clan drops off the map

No context needed, can be read as standalone, I just thought it was neat enough to post on its own.

"What are the odds there are— or were," Izumo grimaced. "Some offshoot branch of the Hatake family out there?" 

"Not impossible, I think? They were a real clan once, right?" 

Kotetsu blinked. "Were they? I kind of thought they used to be civilians or something, before the White Fang." 

"No way, the Hatake's were huge once." 

"No shit?" 

"Yeah, they were— fuck," Genma squinted into his cup, now well and truly flushed from his drink. For a guy sent on so many honeypot and information gathering missions he was a bit of a lightweight, huh? 

"6th? Is that right? 6th-ish clan to come to Konoha, way back when. It's not really taught anymore since they died off so fast and lost relevancy, but they were decently important, wayyy back in the day. Had some sort of deal with the Senju." 

"Nerd." Kurenai snorted, but she looked thoughtful. 

"Hey, this sort of thing is important!" Genma pointed at her. "This kind of history gets buried so fast, it's crazy." 

"But why though?" Kotetsu asked. 

"I mean," Genma frowned. "It's kind of complicated. It's a whole politics thing, you know? Every few years they get together and talk about what gets taught in school. All the clans have say and all the big ones wanna make sure that everyone remembers who was there first so there's a lot of pushing on how to split the importance among them. So when a whole clan up and falls off a cliff . . ."

"There's no one left to advocate for them getting taught about." Izumo finished, looking unsettled.

"Damn." 

Genma shrugged. "That's just how it is, really. Happened to the Uzumaki's, happened to the Hatake's; Would have happened to the Senju too, if the Hokage was any less sentimental about it." 

"And it's not like they teach a lot about history in the first place, do they?" Pointed out Kurenai with a sigh. "Most kids learn that stuff at home, if they're clan brats." 

"Pour one out for all the civilian losers with the disadvantage once again." Izumo sighed, and he clinked glasses with a cheering Kotetsu and Kurenai as Genma, the only clan brat among them, snorted into his cup.

Read the full chapter here ->

[ficandkaboodle]

Take the fanon interpretation of Primo as a parentified but well-meaning older brother trying his best; and the canon of Primo being fucking off the rails and messing with dark magic for shits and giggles; and you'll have Primo putting an eight-year-old Terzo in the middle of a pentagram while insisting this is exactly how you cure someone of their chronic hayfever. Now stop moving, if that blood smears then year-round allergies will be the least of our problems --

[andyoullhearitagain]

I can't with these two. I cannot.

[horsechestnut]

Anyway, if you're a fan of Bruce and Steph having a father/daughter relationship you should probably go read about Oliver and Mia.

[regicidal-defenestration]

There's a universe where Torchwood s1e4 Cyberwoman is an entirely unwatchable pile of rubbish, and there's a universe where it's a gripping story about the lengths you'll go to for love, and then there's the universe we live in, somewhere in the middle, which is arguably the worst outcome here

[kiisaes]

the gang takes turns carrying sunny (catholic school au)

inspired by this one reblog's tags on my last omori comic, thank u @nav-i-nav for the idea !

[areyoudoingthis]

I am SO grateful that ed and stede exist as characters exactly as they are. I'm so grateful for these two men who are traumatized and messed up and struggle to even like themselves, who are terrible at communicating, who make enough mistakes between the two of them to fill an entire ocean. I am so grateful to watch them struggle and be seen and be loved and reach out for the things they want and are maybe starting to believe that they deserve. I'm so grateful that the show lets them fall in love and get together exactly as they are, that it doesn't say they need to wait until they've become some unattainably perfect version of themselves before they have permission to have that. i am so grateful for ofmd

[oldblog-batsyheere]

I keep imagining this one scene- usually its Jason or Tim or Damian, or all the Batboys or the Batfam sitting there with cultists or the league trying to summon the ghost king- but put it as just Dick who is a little surprised that he passed the requirement of having died so he can be used to summon this eldritch being that rules the dead.

And when he's bound, placed in front of a Lazarus pit and everyone is still trying to reach him, the being is summoned- and Danny just lurches through the pit hacking and spitting and cursing because this ectoplasm is nasty, what have you people been doing to it?

And the cultists are expecting Pariah Dark. They demand he takes them to the real ghost king. And Dick just has to watch this being with snow white hair and glowing green eyes start to float up and take this sheen of other to him as he goes "yeah no".

And Dick is maybe a little drugged, and has a concussion, but he feels he has an excuse for what comes out of his mouth.

"Nightwing, come in. What's going on?"

"B, I think I found your next kid. I'm gonna marry him. Even if he climbed out of a Lazarus pit and looks a little spooky."

"-what?!"

[xenonsdoodles]

[oh-no-its-bird]

I love the take that it's tradition for the Hatake to name their kids after garden things/tools, but I fucking forgot ab it when naming background Hatake's to exist in Chasing Shadows and One Step Three Steps (both of which kind of exist in the same little bubble of Hatake lore)

So I'm pivoting and in those fics saying that actually, it's NOT a Hatake tradition— or at least it wasn't

By pure chance, both Sakumo and the old woman Hatake (the only other one to avoid their clan being wiped out) who raised him were both named after garden things. And Sakumo just. Kind of assumed it was a tradition.

Like, no one ever told him it was?? He just kinda pieced that together himself is all

And I mean no one was around to argue, so !!!

It is a real Hatake tradition now tho, bc like, Kakashi believes it to be one and he's the only real Hatake left, so.

[uh-oh-its-bird]

Drawing for today's chapter at this point I've given up pretending to be normal ab it

[cementcornfield]

https://www.tumblr.com/glitter-vamp/738356449551548416/httpswwwtiktokcomtzt8cxmnsb-not-jamarr

Looks like Joe is about to fight someone and Ja’Marr is probably like bro you have cast on

oh my god anon that's exactly what it looks like. i love it.

[izzyspussy]

fic where losers on the internet start calling Jamie "Barbie" because of his hair and the fact he dares to wear pink sometimes, and Jamie is like Very On Purpose taking it as a compliment ("she's everything, right there on the box innit") and like he's not fronting exactly but it is clearly taking at least a little effort to not let it feel like the insult it's meant as.

until Roy gifts him the Olympic soccer Barbie + a custom England uniform for her. then it's pretty easy.

[moeblob]

Sorry I forgot Hanneman suggested Byleth undress after they show up with a different hair color. And I miss Hanneman. And also while swapping between Houses and Hopes and seeing Hanneman pop up to help in a Hopes paralogue is just devastating since he doesn't ever actually join you at all and I am denied my old man rights.

So I had to draw this. Thank you for understanding.

[pirincho]

Doksoo... Doksoo!!!