#no more tickets available online

[powerup-the-revolution]

Just got a ticket to one of the only 2 screenings of the kny movie in my local cinema 🥺🥺🥺 i'm gonna see him in 4k on the big screen.... The Ceiling Boar.......

[nadekofannumber1]

If they adapt nadeko pool via the vignettes there’s nothing stopping them from adapting mayoi welcome in the viginettes of shinobumonogatari

This is the funniest option from a story access and translation perspective mind you I’m not against it lol

[allurilove]

Yandere Boyfriend x you

Rated 18 + -- mature long (?) content!

Includes: Headcanons of possessive, obsessive, and perverted behavior, stalking, rough sex, pretty gender neutral, jealousy, hair pulling, handjobs, going on vacation with you.

*Thanks for all the love on the first post, and here’s a continuation! Here is the third part! It’s a much longer version, and he’s now referred to as “your boyfriend!” This is gonna be a long one, and then I'll take a bit of a break to write yandere priest! This is purely fictional writing!*

Synopsis: Your wish became true, and now you have a boyfriend. He loves you immensely, and now that you two live together, he feels like his life is complete.

He never believed to see a more beautiful and attractive person than you. You have his heart and soul in your possession, all ready and willing for you to devour.

Take him, claim him, and he’ll be at your feet worshipping you forever.

He was stoked to be able to have access to your bedroom 24/7. It was like he struck gold as you shown him your newly decorated room. It felt surreal to be your roommate, and the fact that you two would be living under the same roof made it hard for him to control his urges. He knows he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help himself. You were off to class, and his hand was on the doorknob. He slowly pulled the door back, and all of your clothes were revealed to him. He reached out and gently touched the fabric of your clothes, his hands feeling the smooth silk, or the fuzzy cotton shirt. He leaned in to sniff the closet, and your natural scent fills his nose. He sighed and he stepped in, he closed his eyes as your clothes enveloped him like a hug.

Your classmate slowly pulled down his pants, his face digging into your sweater as he kept inhaling the soft aroma from your fragrance. He had to keep himself busy somehow. He started to shuffle around the apartment, his pants pulled down to his feet and he looked like a penguin as he walked to the bathroom. He grabbed your towel you frequently used, and he sniffed that too. Your classmate began to rub himself, his fingers touching the outline of his manhood. It stood strong and proud, it was a bit heavy and sort of curved to the left. He used his free hand to start jerking himself off.

It was almost like a routine for him. He would wake up at the same time as you, watch you leave the house and wave goodbye, and then go back to your room to sleep. He soon began to grind onto your pillow. Or he would wrap himself in a little burrito with your covers.

You two had your great moments as "classmates", and had your little movie nights when you were done with class. You had a huge bucket of popcorn on your lap, and it was mixed with your favorite candy, with sweet and savory kernels as well. He would always grab for some when you did- just to brush his hand against yours.

While living with your classmate…he soon became your boyfriend. It sort of happened when you two got drunk and ended up making out in his bed. His lips were soft, his tongue swirled with yours, and he could taste the peach liquor.

Living with him was great: he frequently cleaned, always did the laundry, and he would steal a couple of your intimates. You almost caught him, and you could see the little fabric poking out of his pocket, but he had distracted you by pulling you to the bedroom.

You were getting a bit suspicious that he was at the apartment all the time, but he promised he just had online classes. He then started to be a Photoshop pro. He would create fake grades, and fake assignments he had to do, and he realized that it would be odd if he was available all the time. So, he actually had to sneak into campus and pretend he was a student there. His heart ached as he had to send "I'm actually busy and can't make it" text to you. Knowing damn well that he had nothing going on.

You two went on dates. He always took you out somewhere new, he never once wanted you to feel bored with him. He bought tickets to this stand up comedian you liked, and you both sat down onto your seats. It went well, literally too well. He grits his teeth as he hears another laugh from you. I mean c'mon, the comedian wasn’t that funny.

Now that he thinks about it… he doesn’t remember a time when he made you laugh like that. Even when he made notes of all the things you found hilarious. His eyes widened at the realization, and he started to doubt himself. Maybe he wasn’t even funny, no matter how hard he tried-- oh god!

You nudged him to see his reaction, his eyes were shining with love as he looked over to you, but he covered the lower half of his face. And he silently mouthed “Count your days” to the comedian.

He gripped onto his thighs, his eyes narrowing at the ground as he silently fumed. He didn’t want to seem overbearing, and you were having a good time, so he kept his thoughts to himself. You made fun of him that night. While you guys were walking back home, he frowned as you mocked his tense expression.

“Oh stop it.” He grumbled and he looked away. He looked so cute when he pouted, and he crossed his arms.

Though deep down, he liked that he made you smile. Even if you were laughing at him, it was still a win in his books. He sighed and decided to reel you in by wrapping his arm around your shoulder, and he brought you close.

You also got a lot of noise complaints. It was embarrassing to even bump into your neighbors when you left your apartment. They sent you nasty glares, eye rolls, and out right told you to keep it down. They thought you were a porn fein.

Your back arched as your boyfriend thrusted into you, and you held him tightly against you. Being with him was always passionate, he was ravenous and acted as if he had been starved of your warmth. He let out a loud groan. He also had the tendency to curse, the bed shook as he picked up the pace- the headboard repeatedly slammed into the wall. You also had to buy a new bed frame after he broke the other one.

He leaned down and he nibbled and nipped at your neck, he loved to leave hickeys and marks on you. His hands lifted your legs up and onto his shoulders, pressing your thighs to your chest. The bed creaks underneath your weight, and he reaches down to caress your flushed cheek.

When you saw him open his mouth to say something dirty, you quickly silenced it with your hand. He peered down curiously, his brow raised, and he tilted his head in confusion. You remind him to keep it down, and that the people next door will hear.

The next day: you hid yourself in a hoodie, running to the bus stop as you ignored your neighbors heckles.

After you were done with class, you two went to the gym to work out. You promised to help him build some muscles, and teach him how to run properly. He sometimes wished he didn’t have a dick. He listened to you explain some random machine, and he grabbed a towel to cover his crotch. You saw how he would nervously dart his eyes around, completely unable to look at you without drooling.

As a punishment, you got him to start running on the treadmill. He pants as you continued to speed up the machine, and sweat began to drip down his body.

"Are you trying to kill me?" Your boyfriend whined, and he had to keep pushing his body to the limits. "I thought you liked me..." He joked as he wiped the sweat off his neck.

When he missed you, he disguised himself when he would follow you around campus. He hid himself behind a bookshelf after he stalked you to the library. He lowered his shades to see what you were reading.

“Excuse me?” Another student tapped on his shoulder.

“Piss off.” Your boyfriend said curtly, and he slapped their hand off him. “Can’t you see that I’m busy?”

The student looked at him and then followed his line of sight. They were going to ask him to move so they could grab their book, but when they saw his flushed cheeks, dilated pupils, and his odd heavy breathing… they realized he was stalking you and was probably a creep. The student gulped, slowly backing away as they flagged down security.

You had to save your boyfriend from the arms of a buff man. It was almost funny to see your boyfriend get manhandled by security, his feet dangling off the ground, and he continued to say that the guard was embarrassing him.

Your boyfriend still kept in touch with your siblings, he actually grew to liking them, and when winter break came around, he followed you back home. He stepped inside the familiar house, and he greeted your parents first. He handed presents around to your family, and he quickly put on a white beard and red hat for the kids.

He genuinely started tweaking when he was introduced to your life long childhood friend, and ex. He forced a smile and his grip was tight as he shook your ex lovers hand. Your boyfriend continues to give your ex a sideways glare whenever they were near him, or when they would touch you, he would accidentally push them into the christmas tree.

He holds your hand during dinner, and conveniently turns away when your ex asked him pass the rolls. When you reach over to grab the basket for yourself, your boyfriend handed them to you immediately. His expression souring as you gave one to your ex too.

“I think they meant to give it to me.” Your boyfriend grunts, and he picks the bread off your exes plate and shoves it into his mouth.

You kicked him out of bed that night. He had to sleep on the tiny ottoman, it was either that or sleeping on the floor. But he refused to lay down where he couldn’t see you. He sulked, and his body curled up into a fetal position as he saw you sleeping comfortably on the bed.

Your boyfriend slowly unraveled his body and he prowled towards you. His face rubbed up against your thighs, and he murmured “I’m sorry” into your skin. His lips trailing up to your inner thigh. When you pull away, he rolled his eyes, and he flipped you over onto your stomach.

“Do you like your ex more than me? Is that it?” His voice is calm but you can hear the underlying irritation in it. “Do you get all hot and bothered when you think about them?”

“Do you think about them when you’re with me?” He yanked on your hair, and you wince as you feel a burn at your scalp.

He rubbed his sore cheek after you hit him, and you made him sit in the corner to reflect on his behavior. He sighs and he leans his head back onto the wall, his eyes glancing at your sleeping form. You did tell him he couldn't sleep on the bed, but was he going to listen...? He got up from his spot, and he tiptoed towards you, and he laid down next to you. He was successful until your eyes shot open and glared at him, he quickly slinks away in fear.

Your family decided to take you guys to the slopes. You were still mad at your boyfriend, but you helped him put on his clothes. You roughly zipped up his jacket, wrapped the scarf around his neck, and shoved him into the van. He did not like sitting next to your ex. The car ride was tense for him, and your boyfriend was nice to your parents and thanked them for bringing him along. He rolled his eyes as he heard your ex do the same-- damn copycat.

He awkwardly sat there, you were on his left, and your ex on his right. Your boyfriend stared out the window, occasionally making conversation with you, and when you guys came to the gas station to fill up the car- he couldn't wait to jump out.

Your boyfriend stared at the road as your parents pumped the gas into the vehicle, he stretched his limbs and he couldn't help but wonder how long it would take him to walk back home.... surely it wouldn't be that far. He didn't want to leave you with your psychotic ex. I mean, he didn't know for sure they were a nut case, but he liked to believe they were. However, he also didnt want to be here so... he pulled out his phone and he looked it up, damn. 15 hours?

"Thinking about running away?"

Your boyfriends body stiffened as he heard your ex's voice. He sighed heavily, and he turned around to see the person in front of him. He looked at them up and down... realizing they were wearing the same colors. They looked like they were matching. Fuck.

"You would like that wouldn't you?" Your boyfriend shoved past them and he walked inside the store to find you.

You were standing at the chips aisle, a couple of things already in your hands. Your boyfriend grabbed a beef jerky and made his way to you, his body behind yours, and he pressed himself against you. He kissed your cheek, and his hands rubbed your sides.

"Are you still mad at me?" He moped.

"Are you being nice to my friend?" You said back.

He stayed silent for a bit, contemplating what to say. I mean he could lie, but he decides not to. "I think you're asking a bit too much from me."

The rest of the car ride was silent. When you guys made it to the mountain he was shaking the entire time. He was cold, did not know how to ski, and he was stuck on the easiest slopes with the kids and beginner skiers. He flailed down the hill, he tumbled and rolled, and he crashed into a tree.

You helped him get back to the cabin after he got a concussion.

His body wasn't hurting too badly, and he whined and sniffled- really trying to make it seem he was sick. He loved the attention you were giving him, the light touch of your lips on his forehead, and when he convinced you to touch him down there, he was really happy. His back arches as you continued to move your hand underneath his pants, your thumb brushing against his tip.

"Ah~" Your boyfriend moaned. "Keep going..." his hips jerked up to meet your movements, his cock starting to twitch in your hand. His arousal formed in his stomach, before his cum finally leaked out of his member.

You shimmied his pants a bit lower and you licked his manhood, your tongue tasting the slightly salty and white fluid dripping down his length. The rest of the trip went smoothly. He would often pull you to the side to kiss you, he cooked alongside you, learned how to ski with you, learned how to knit a beanie, and of course his favorite... being intimate with you.

Your ex's room was right next door, and your boyfriend made sure to make you scream out his name every night, and vice versa. He loved to make a show of how much you two loved each other, and his hands were on your hips to help you ride him.

"So goood..." He babbled, his brows furrowed in pleasure, and he latched his lips onto your neck. "Keep ridin' me, I wanna see you lose it on my cock."

Your boyfriend was entranced with how you took him in easily, his dick disappearing into you, and felt you tighten around him. A deep growl vibrating from his throat. He plays with your nipples, pinching and he sucked on them. He twirls his tongue around your hardened nipple. When you came, he lapped up your nectar, and he kissed you.

It was soon becoming the end of your college years, and he started to panic. Especially when he heard you talking about how you're gonna walk on stage, or what you were going to wear. He panicked because he's a damn liar. He wouldn't be able to sneak his way into graduation, and it was time to come clean. He hoped you wouldn't leave him, or think he's crazy for following you across the world to be with you.

Allure: Hopefully this keeps y'all fed until I come back! Here’s the c.ai link: https://share.character.ai/Wv9R/ondwnvhr

[gholhuio]

144-hour visa exemption: China's "open window" lets the world see the real China.

Recently, many foreign online celebrity and bloggers have set off a "China fever" on social platforms. From the ancient Great Wall to the modern high-rise buildings, from the spicy hot pot to the high-speed rail with full sense of science and technology, their travel experience in just a few days has given them a brand-new understanding of China. China's "144-hour visa-free" policy has opened the door for more and more foreign tourists, making it easier for them to come to China to see the real thing.

Visa exemption has brought more "visitors"

For foreigners, China's "144-hour visa-free" policy is very convenient. This policy applies to citizens of 54 countries. As long as they hold a joint ticket from a third country, they can stay in a visa-free city for six days without complicated visa procedures. This has surprised many foreigners-originally, it was only a short transit, but I didn't expect to "punch in" the cities in China. This simple and convenient "transit tour" has become the first choice for many foreigners.

According to the data, in the first half of this year, the number of foreigners entering the country at various ports increased by 152.7%, and more than half of them entered through the visa-free policy. It can be said that this policy not only makes it easy for more foreigners to visit China, but also attracts a group of "visitors" who are curious about China. They use their own perspective to discover and record China, and then share what they have seen and heard with the world.

China in the eyes of foreigners: colorful and true.

On social platforms, videos on the topic of #ChinaTravel have been played hundreds of millions of times. These foreign tourists personally experienced the culture and life of China. Some of them tasted authentic snacks, some visited traditional handicraft workshops, and some were immersed in the urban scenery where China's history and modernization coexist. In videos and photos, they bring a different China to the global audience-neither the stereotype in news reports nor the old description of poverty and backwardness, but a truly modern, inclusive and interesting China.

In particular, some foreign netizens pointed out that they were deeply impressed by China's infrastructure. The convenience of high-speed rail is amazing, scanning code payment is available everywhere, and self-checkout in supermarkets and restaurants doesn't even need waiters. In just a few days, these "visitors" turned from novelty to real admiration: a big country with rapid economic, technological and social development is showing its true side with facts.

Let the world see a more open China

In fact, China's visa-free policy is not only to increase tourism revenue. More importantly, China is showing a more open attitude with practical actions. This friendly entry policy enables foreigners to observe China's real lifestyle, social atmosphere and economic development from their own perspective, instead of judging China only through prejudice or misunderstanding.

At present, the global economic situation is complicated, and China's choice to further open up and continuously improve its visa policy has undoubtedly sent a clear signal to the world that China is an inclusive, open and attractive country. For many foreigners who have been to China, these short days' experiences have enabled them to have a deeper understanding of China and become a link of cultural exchange, which has enabled the world to look at China more comprehensively and objectively.

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

The Baby Assignment HCs

CW: Crude humour

-------------------------

The lifeskills and health professor tapped his pointer against the board.

"THAT concludes our unit on the development of children in their early years. Each species varies slightly, but each come with their unique set of challenges. You will learn that fairly quickly."

A few awkward chuckles circulated the room, but a random student at the back of the room swung his legs up on his desk, leaning back as he locked his hands behind his head, a smirk on his face.

"Whatchya implyin' there prof? It ain't like any of us are gettin' any action, at least. Not the kind that would pop out a crotch goblin." A few snickers from two other students soon died out as the rare, smug, grin grew on the profs face.

"Your lovelife and lack thereof is of nobody's interest. I was referring to your unit exam."

With a flick of his wrist, the utility closet at the side of the room opened, and out floated eerily realistic looking baby dolls, one setting in front of each student, along with a wad of tickets

The looks across his students faces only fueled his grin as he began pacing.

"You will be taking care of your baby for the span of one month. Upon powering it on, it will respond to your magical signature and resemble you in looks alone. The tickets are to be treated like thaumarks - that's all you get for the month, and you must ensure you have all the necessary supplies for your child. The ticket amounts vary according to the accommodations you may need for your doll. It cannot be turned back off unless I personally switch it off, unless you wish for the doll to begin throwing a tantrum. Your other professors already know of this assignment- the dolls are programmed to not go off while in classrooms besides this one. It is capable of everything a real child is. If it is abandoned or left crying without comfort for more than 20 minutes, it will send an alert to my phone and I will dock 5% from your mark every time it alerts, which is every five minutes. The doll also has a tamper proof magic seal- if you attempt to disable the baby, the same consequences are applied. If you return the doll with any damage, your mark will be deducted proportionately. If you have any questions - ask your parents, they've been through this already. You are encouraged to work together and be resourceful. The instructions, requirements and rubric are posted online. I'll be checking to make sure everyone's dolls are activated before they leave the room."

The home ec teacher turned his back, grinning slightly over his shoulder as the bell rang.

"Good luck."

Heartslaybul

Riddle

He's taking this assignment just as seriously as any other. After class, he beelines it to the library with his baby, planning on holding it while he creates a spreadsheet to budget his tickets accordingly for the month, but the doll starts fussing near immediately.

He's more embarrassed that he can't get it to be quiet while he's trying to work, and tries to bounce it gently like he'd seen his mother deal with fussy babies before, but to no avail. It's not until he takes off his jacket to use as a swaddle and gently bounce and burp the baby that it settles again. He decides that he'll be better off just going to Sam's and doing the math mentally than go through the embarrassment again.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt:

I found the most difficult part of this assignment to be the restless nights. I am a fairly light sleeper, so the issue wasn't struggling to wake up to calm the doll down; rather, the intermittent waking and rest impacted my ability to focus in class and while studying. I'm forever grateful that the programming of the doll did not interrupt lectures.

Mark Achieved: 100%

Trey

Oh lord. Can he not apply for advanced credit? He basically raised his siblings anyways. No? Okay. He takes this assignment in stride, almost a little disappointed that he won't get to try "babysitting" a beastman or fae, but at least the familiarity will make this assignment easy.

He stops by Sam's right away to pick up diapers and wipes and that's it.

He uses an old curtain to fashion a swaddle for doll and wears it as he prepares a month's worth of homemade, (tasty) baby food. He ends up finding he kind of forgets that the doll is...a doll and genuinely treats it like a child.

His grandpa had an old trick to keep kids asleep through the night, so for shits and giggles, he tries it on the doll too. To his surprise, it ends up working. All in all, the assignment is a walk in the park.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt

This was one of the easiest A's I've gotten in this class. If you want to make it real challenging for the next set of students, you should update the programming to respond to textures the baby doesn't like.

Mark Achieved: 100%

Cater

Uuuuuugh does he have to? At least he has a doll to dress up now, right? That part must be fun.

It's not fun.

Being the baby himself, he never realized just how difficult dressing one was. Shoes and socks will never stay on. Onesies get sucked on and wet and gross and need to be changed so often. This man has never changed a diaper, what do you mean this doll is capable of all the same things as a real child. Oh thank god, it's just the diaper with an indicator of when it WOULD be soiled.

It only takes two days before Cater is OVER it. But he really needs a decent grade in this class, so he tries to keep himself motivated, but it's hard on the fake budget he's been given.

He ends up looking up how to make baby food himself so he can give himself more spending tickets for cute, more-easy-to-change outfits.

He did, however, end up taking the doll to PMC, sat down, and passed out for the duration of the club meet. Lilia and Kalim watched the baby for him, but that ended in a ransom note from them telling Cater that if he didn't show them his latest riff he had been working on, they would not return the baby. Lilia thought it was funny. Kalim thought it was a normal part of childhood. Cater almost walked away.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt

If I have to redo this assignment to pass this class I think I'd rather fail.

Mark Achieved: 65%

Marks Docked:

Soiled diaper - left on for 15+ minutes x 3 = 15%

Diaper rash - untreated = 10%

Deuce

Doesn't even hesitate, he heads straight home. Like. Crowley's office to get a pass and then back to his mom. He's a little frazzled and overwhelmed, he had no idea this was what his unit exam was going to entail.

He feels substantially better after speaking to his mom, making a list of everything he needs, and a list of tips that she had to give for difficult to navigate situations with the baby - whom Deuce had already named Evangeline.

Deuce works himself into a very strict schedule with the baby, in order to make sure he'll get a mark an honours student would be proud of, and because he hates hearing the baby cry.

He has to admit, at one point when he couldn't get it to quiet down, he turned off his hearing aids (HC) just so that he could calm it without getting frustrated as quickly.

He sleeps with the baby next to him so he doesn't have to sleep with his "ears" in, and can feel when the baby is crying instead. Usually.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt

I tried really hard to make sure the baby was taken care of. I think the rubric should be updatd updated though. No parent ever is able to operate at 100% all the time and be a perfect parent. I'm not complaining about the assignment, but I think that maybe if we know we've done something wrong and we can explain what happened or take acountablitye accountability for our actions, maybe we should be able to get some points back or something.

Mark Achieved: 90% + 2% (bonus)

Marks Docked:

Unattended crying - 40 minutes = 10%

Bonus Marks:

Excellent suggestion, Spade. I will take your feedback into account for the future.

Ace

He wants to pawn this off SO BAD. Kids are gross. They're fine if they're not yours but by god the amount of birthday party horror stories his brother has told him as an entertainer leaves a pretty awful taste in his mouth.

If it was a real baby, he knows he could be like - the best dad there ever was to dad. He has a pretty good template in his brother, and an exact recipe of what NOT to be in his father! (HC) but like. This assignment is boring.

He has a decent grade in the class, so he's not too worried about flunking this "test", but he still kind of wants to pass still. Buuuut if word got out that he did poorly to Riddle, he may as well say goodbye to his precious free time.

He ends up falling into a pretty easy rhythm, though remembering to "buy" baby food before he's completely out is a little difficult and he ends up having to take on a few of Trey's chores so he'll show him how to just make enough to last til the end of the semester.

He doesn't sleep very well anyways, so if anything he comes off as more wired than tired by the end of the assignment. He will crash, and 17 hours of sleep later he will reach out to check on the baby and get an inexplicable wave of sadness when it's not around anymore. Maybe kids aren't as bad as he thought.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt

I actually found this easier than expected? Maybe I'm being a little over confident here. The learning curve is steep, but once you get the hang of it it's not...THAT bad.

Mark Achieved: 95%

Marks Docked:

Solid foods were introduced too soon = 5%

Savannaclaw

Leona

He didn't show up to class. He actually did do the assignment, last year, and got a decent mark but there was no way in hell he was going to do it again. When a classmate ended up bringing him the doll he IMMEDIATELY paid Ruggie off to do the assignment for him. When he was confronted by the teacher, he said that the tickets didn't account for childcare, like real parents have to account for when they're too busy to care for their kids. So he did what he had to do. The teacher should be thanking him for not making him reimburse him for the money spent.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt

Refer to last year's entry you lazy bastard.

Mark Achieved: 95%

Marks Docked:

You made your point, but name calling is juvenile even for you. = 5%

Ruggie

Bah, he takes care of rugrats all the time back home! However, he knows that his community could likely benefit from these essentially, free childcare items. Even if he can't tamper with the magic on the doll, he can sure as hell find someone who can tamper with the magic on the items from Sam's. He exchanges most of his tickets right away for food, toiletries, and one umbrella stroller. Then he offers to "babysit" for free for someone who has more magical prowess than he does that can override the magic on the items. He then takes all that shit HOME and gives it to his community, all while having his baby in a baby wrap against him. Easy A, and came with benefits.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt

Easier than a real kid, that's for sure! At least it wasn't teething. When beastmen cut teeth for the first time the poor kids have it rougher than their caregiver. Ain't nobody happy!

Mark Achieved: 100%

Notes:

While tampering with the magical items was not explicitly against the rules, it is advised you do not pursue that route to success again.

Jack

Oh dear lord. His real sister hates doing stuff with him because he always breaks everything, he is so scared of breaking the doll. He remembers when his siblings were little, he was scared of holding them too, because he didn't want to hurt him. On the other hand, the doll also absolutely reminds him of his siblings when they were babies, with floopy little ears and blue eyes and oh god the tiny tail? He's emotionally attached. The baby, however, is almost always a little uncomfortable, usually from being too warm because Jack keeps bundling it up to try and protect it from his own strength. But he also doesn't trust ANYBODY so he's constantly holding it, he refuses to put it down. His practices just happen to line up with Crewel's prep time, so he ends up leaving the doll in his classroom! Reason being that it won't go off if it's in the classroom, but in the chance that it did, Crewel would be able to override it.

Besides a simulated heat rash, the baby is otherwise okay, though Jack was VERY concerned for the dolls safety when he saw the rash flare up.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt

Most people don't have to do this alone, but I'm glad that I was able to prove to myself I could if I had to. At least, some parts of it. I'm just glad my siblings never saw me with the doll, they'd have made it their mission to do better than me, and they're not even in their double digits yet.

Mark Achieved: 80%

Marks Docked:

Heat rash - untreated, not documented in journal = 10% Crying unattended x 2 = 10%

Octavinelle

Azul

There are not many things that can come between Azul and his grades. He works very hard to maintain them. But the chubby little octopus mer staring back at him in what was essentially a fishbowl (just for transport to the dorm) destroyed any sort of direct involvement he wanted to have with it. He had, briefly, considered pawning the thing off to Jade, but he couldn't bring himself to subject the doll to that - sevens knows what experiments Jade was running on his own doll anyways.

Azul, as ashamed as he is to do so, ends up paying off Ruggie to hide the doll somewhere in Trein's classroom, where he won't find it for the duration of the month.

As good of a plan as it may have sounded, after school hours the doll was left to cry and sob, and also as a mer, dried out. However, as prepared as Azul is, he got it back two days before hand in. He thought he could convince Idia to repair it for him, but then found out that Idia refused to do the repair because of a deal he had with the health teacher.

With his grades and reputation on the line, he ends up swallowing his pride and handing in the assignment a day early, after school ends, just to avoid the judgmental looks from other classmates. He also asks for another assignment to make up for this one in advance, knowing full well he failed.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt

Exempt

Mark Achieved: N/A Notes: If you had spoken with me at the beginning of the month, we could have sorted this out sooner Ashengrotto. Your communication skills are not to the calibre I would have expected for a young businessman like yourself. Come see me next Tuesday at lunch.

Jade

He thinks it's funny. He has a little elver on his hands, but he knows it's not real. He holds no sentiments towards it. At first he found the assignment rather easy, but trying to work while taking care of the elver became rather. Annoying.

Needless to say, Jade lasted about 3 days. After it was deactivated, he let his curiousity get the better of him. Even though the head of the doll and voicebox of the doll were completely obliterated, he took pride in his near surgical precision when it came to dismantling the rest of the doll, sorting each part by size, colour and perceived importance.

He was rather proud to deliver his assortment of pieces and the "skin" that covered the entire thing in such an organized manner at the end of the assignment.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt

I wish the interior of the doll was more anatomically correct.

Mark Achieved: 25% Notes: You only achieved 25% to account for the consideration you took after breaking the doll. It was a rather unique approach to avoid complete and utter failure of the assignment.

Floyd (THIS IS A LITTLE ANGSTY IM SORRY IM SORRY)

AT FIRST it sounded great. He had a little elver to take swimming with him. It was a great excuse to get out of work, and if the thing got "hungry", he could just ask the kitchen for shrimp and he could grind it into paste for the little guy. Also, if he was always in the water, it meant NO diaper changes (sorry) but its true! He had it easy!

Wait no what do you mean he can't bring a glass bowl with a baby to it to the basketball court Jamil what's the worst thing that could happen.

Obviously, the bowl ends up getting hit and shattering. Floyd's eyes glaze over a bit as the kid starts crying for the first time and "gasping" for air. He has to remind himself it's just a doll, Jamil's reprimands going over his head. He picks the little thing up, holding it just tight enough it can't squirm out of his hands, debating whether it's worth the trouble to get it back into water, or just to fail the assignment. He figures it's a pretty big screw up, and his grade is already good in that class.

There's a loud pop and crack as Floyd decapitates the doll, shrugging slightly as he tosses both pieces onto the ground, tiny shards of hardware scattering among the broken glass and water.

"There, it ain't cryin'. You guys can handle the clean up."

Jamil ends up finding him crying in the locker room, but prevents anyone else from going in, not wanting to get involved. A few days later, Floyd gets the doll back, swaddled in a wet cloth and fully functional outside of his door. He will NEVER admit how much that impacted him.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt

I know you don't read this stuff, so the first and last paragraphs are coherent and the rest I'm bullshittin' to take up space. Im gonna get a hundred on the written portion I just know it.

Mark Achieved: 90%

Marks Docked: Significant Damage Detected - 10%

Notes: I only docked 10% instead of 20% as the doll returned in perfect working condition. Your conclusion was very well written, earning you a few bonus marks.

(Floyd breaks the fourth wall and looks knowingly at you with a smug ass grin /jjjjj)

Scarabia

Kalim

"Oh it's like taking care of my little siblings!" Yes well most of his little siblings can walk, all of them have moms to dote on them and servants to watch over them when he can't.

Kalim, however, is insistent on trying to do it on his own. Kind of.

He has his carpet follow him around everywhere, just because he knows he forgets a lot of things. But if he has ONE place to ALWAYS put the baby down and that ONE place can FOLLOW him how in the world can he forget anything! It's a win-win situation.

He's never changed a diaper before, and he's still not good at it, but he's got the right idea!

And he knows all the best foods to feed it, very familiar with the multiple milestones a kid should be at, but he got a little too excited to introduce it to ALL the types of food he could offer it (via Jamil).

Also, lets be real, a baby would love all the colours that Scarabia has to offer, so even just setting the doll down on the carpet helps calm it down sometimes!

It's not until the end of the month, when Kalim brings the doll to P.E and does a flip on the carpet with the baby on it that he realizes his mistake. Jamil spares him the visual of the doll shattering, saving it right before it hits the ground. Kalim spends the rest of the day being extra careful with the doll, and even going to "the doll doctor" (Idia) in tears, asking him to check and make sure nothing is damaged.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt

It was really hard to take care of a kid alllll the time! But I had fun doing it. I'm going to make sure I thank my mom a lot when I go home again though.

Mark Achieved: 85%

Marks Docked:

Solid Food Introduced Too Soon - x 3 = 10%

Jamil

AW HELL NAH

His competitive spirit eats at him a bit, but he decides to be petty resourceful instead. For two days he takes care of the doll impeccably, before returning to the prof and being very blunt and honest about the skills he has and how he came to develop them.

He had to take care of his little sister, and now he has to take care of Kalim, and Kalim's doll, (despite Kalim's best efforts).

He ends up negotiating to write an essay instead that he can submit online regarding how he believes parenting has evolved over the years, and what methods he has found effective in his pseudo-guardian role. He ends up getting full marks, as it was technically not an assignment he had to compete against Kalim for.

Pomefiore

Vil

He wants to say he doesn't have time for this. To make up some excuse about his beauty sleep. But there's a small part of Vil that softens immediately when he sees the doll; a part of him that imagines that doll aging into a toddler and being thrown to the wolves of the filming industry like he was. Though he knows it's little more than delusion, his thoughts still worm their way into how he treats the doll.

He puts in the research to give the doll the best food he can, but also makes an effort to feed it "desserts" (usually mashed strawberries but yknow for a baby that's a big deal!)

He struggles to cope most with waking up often and the MESS a baby makes simply by existing. He hides it well enough, though his hair care regiment starts to slip a bit over the course of the month, a detail that does not go unnoticed by many students. Vil also indulges in coffee a little more often than he should, though nobody dares to point either change out out of fear. He also tends to opt for a more toned down make up look. But you will never catch the queen looking as tired as they feel.

The other difficult part was managing the sheer amount of people who wanted photos of the doll. Vil made a strict no photos policy to the point he put a curse on the doll so that if anyone took a photo of it, the SD card/gallery would be wiped on the device they used. Real or not, Vil does not want any photos of the child online.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt

Seeing as our doll counterparts resemble us in appearance, it would have been nice if the same photo policy that was applied to us at the beginning of the year was applied to the dolls as well.

Mark Achieved: 95%

Marks Docked:

Minor Skin Irritation - 5%

Rook

:) If you know the way I HC'd his upbringing, you know that he won't know SHIT about babies.

Honestly having the little guy around is...it hurts a little. He has no idea how to handle kids, at least not ones this small. He ends up paying Ruggie off to take care of it and takes GREAT care to hide it from Vil and his other classmates.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt

I can only hope that one day, I will be a better father to a child than I was to this doll.

Mark Achieved: 100%

Epel

Oh god oh shit oh fuck oh lord godfuckingdamnit he is NOT READY. He is looking at his pseudo-flesh potato in disgust. It immediately bursts into tears.

He tries everything he can to make it stop crying, but it's not until he has to run to the washroom while he's at spelldrive that he finally catches a break, thanks to Leona. The doll ends up going into a sleep cycle as soon as Leona holds it and hums a bit, but he denies doing it (everyone saw him do it).

Epel gets the info from Ruggie and tries to do it himself later, but it doesn't work. Cue a VERY sleep deprived Epel with a VERY grumpy baby showing up at an EQUALLY grumpy lion's bedroom at 4 in the morning. Epel has a bluetooth speaker and death metal booted up if Leona doesn't take the doll for a couple hours, (thanks to Heartshackle and Jack's recounting of what happened in chapter 3), so Leona just takes the damn thing and Epel passes out in the beanbag chair in Leona's room.

Leona ends up teasing Epel because the reason it didn't work was because his voice wasn't low enough to make the baby sleepy OTL Epel gave him a look so dirty he may as well have been a warthog in a mudbath.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt (hes just kidding guys)

If my kid is this fussy, it's gonna be the reason I start drinking the other kind of cider.

Mark Achieved: 70% 85%

Marks Docked:

Unattended Crying x 6 = 30%

Notes:

After having your doll reviewed, there was an error in the coding, thus the restoration of 15%. If you would like to further negotiate your mark, please come speak with me.

(SKIPPING IGNIHYDE FOR NOW IT'LL MAKE SENSE AT THE END DON'T KILL ME PLEASE /lh)

Diasomnia

Malleus

He held it for two seconds, then it sneezed fire in his face. Lilia is SO damn giddy. Welcome to hell parenthood Malleus, it's going to get bitey.

He actually has it easier than Lilia did, getting a non-royal fae baby means no dragonet, just a very fussy little dude. Malleus finds it rather entertaining, and a little unnerving at how far technomancy has come to develop such complex machines.

Despite it's realistic appearance, Malleus finds himself neglecting it often, simply because he cannot listen for its heartbeat or breathing like he does with his loved ones to make sure they're near. His time blindness also makes him susceptible to putting the doll down and leaving for far longer than he should.

Lilia ends up taking on the brunt of the assignment, purely for nostalgia's sake. Sebek would have taken on the responsibility, but his own inexperience hindered him.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt

I found the project rather unnerving. It was capable of nearly everything a living being was capable of, yet possessed no heart nor soul to speak of, unlike the younger Shroud brother. I look forward to the day I can more truly experience rearing a child of my own.

Mark Achieved: 55%

Marks Docked:

Unattended crying x 4 = 20%

Delayed Feeding by 15+ minutes x 2 = 20 %

Minor abrasion = 5%

Notes: Just because a child or assignment isn't how you expect it to be, doesn't mean you get to shirk responsibility, Draconia.

Lilia

He finds this situation hilarious AND the perfect opportunity to tease Silver. Caring for the doll is easy - it's nothing like real kids in his opinion. But whenever he cradles it, he can't help but think of Silver and the way he used to fit between his palm and the crook of his elbow.

It only takes a little bit of trial and error to figure out what his doll likes, and he knows allllll the warning signs for when it's about to cry or fall asleep or anything else.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt

Doing this for a third time around was much easier than the first two times!

Mark Achieved: 100%

Silver

Narcolepsy is a beast for Silver to try and tame, and he's still training it! Adding on the responsibility of taking care of a child is daunting, especially since he knows even his own father can't wake him up.

However, Silver very quickly comes to learn he will wake up when someone sounds like they're in distress. It's not fun to wake up that way, and there's still about 1 in every 4 attacks that he can't wake up from, but he's somewhat conscious enough to know the kid is in trouble. He ends up dealing with chronic fatigue, as his body just is NOT used to the stress response that's induced from hearing the baby cry.

Silver also found out the hard way his baby was allergic to hay when he went to Equestrian Club. Riddle ends up feeling bad for his classmate, volunteering to look after the doll for a few hours in exchange for two of Trein's lectures, which Silver has permission to record. (Riddle didn't feel his notes were up to par). His reasoning being that balance is important! Even if Riddle is still learning that himself, he understands that Silver should have time to enjoy his extracirriculars just as much as anyone else. It's a small load to bear for someone he can recognize a strong work ethic and morals in.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt

I like to welcome challenges and face them head on, however I did not expect the magic on the doll to be able to simulate an immune system.

Mark Achieved: 75%

Unattended Crying x 5 = 25%

Sebek

This guy doesn't know how to hold a baby, and once he does, he's terrified of hurting it, even though its not real. He also becomes hypervigilant, taking into account every safety risk and trying to prevent it, at least until the kid bites HIM.

He then realizes in horror just how little he actually washes his hands and whatnot, and that this tiny being is ingesting every germ its mouth lands on, which, it aims its mouth indiscriminately at every person, place or thing.

Sebek ends up doing a DEEEEEEP clean of the entire dorm, all while trying to keep baby safe from the dust and whatnot while he cleans.

The dorm has never looked better, but Sebek definitely has. He is exhausted and dirty constantly, and due to his inability to prioritize certain tasks, the baby would sometimes be left in a soiled diaper longer than it was meant to.

Assignment Journal Entry Excerpt

I never realized how much dust cobwebs collect until I saw the top of Diasomnia's chandeliers.

Mark Achieved: 70%

Soiled diaper - 15 minutes + x 4 = 20% Unattended crying x 1 = 5% Minor Damage x 1 = 5%

----------------------------------

"Hello Professor." Idia spoke softly so as to announce his arrival, Ortho in tow, who waved animatedly at the instructor.

The Prof looked up from his marking, offering the Shroud brothers a small smile and waving them in as he got up from his desk.

"It's good to see you. Did you bring the wagon?"

Idia gave the prof a toothy grin as Ortho transformed, his torso region folding out so as to provide cargo room.

"Don't need some dingy wagon anymore. Ortho and I have been optimizing his hardware the whole month in prep for this lmao."

While his back was turned to them, the professor rolled his eyes, flinging the closet open. On the floor were about two boxes of various parts and pieces of dolls, the rest of the in tact ones placed neatly on the shelves above. He moved out of the way so as to allow Idia and Ortho to load up.

"I'm glad you've dedicated some time to preparing for transport. As you know, once you and any other Ignihyde students who opted out of this project have rebuilt, recalibrated and recorded any and all changes made to each doll, you can drop them off here again to be assessed."

Idia began filling the cavity Ortho had , removing some of the parts to compress the boxes better. The things technomancy was capable of was incredible, as every piece managed to fit into the robot's torso.

"Yeah, yeah. I've already updated the SOPs to streamline the whole process, so I should be able to get these back to you in like, three days? We'll say four cuz there are a few newbs joining in. I'd rather take the time to look over their work than get called during some other class to fix a stupid mistake I could have caught earlier on."

Idia shrugged a bit as Ortho closed up, before sparring the instructor a glance, making a conscious effort to look him in the eyes.

"....thank you, by the way. For the mods to the assignment. I really appreciate that you took my request seriously and actually y'know....followed through."

Idia fidgeted with the long sleeves of his sweater a bit before he finally broke eye contact.

The professor let out a small trill of self satisfaction. "Of course, Shroud. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to reach out and ask for accommodations."

He made his way back to his desk as the boys went to the door.

"Have a good night."

------------------------------------------------

Bro this took so long and its lowkey ASS anyways

Here's an image of the prof, at least how he is in my head, he's based on a Great Horned Owl and this is a poorly edited picrew I did

ANYWAYS tag list:

@distant-velleity @lumdays @elenauaurs @nemisisnemi @theleechyskrunkly @starry-night-rose @my-cursed-brain @fluffle-writes

[clonerightsagenda]

Thank you for applying for a library card!

We are a large metropolitan library with twelve branches here in the city and a consortial agreement with ninety-seven different timelines (and counting). Your card is your ticket to our physical and digital collections, where we have something for everyone.

You’ve indicated that you are licensed for time travel and regularly travel in time or between timelines for work purposes, so you are eligible for our trans-timeline borrower’s card. Please read this document carefully to ensure you’re using your new card to its fullest potential and in compliance with library policy.

Our services:

The library has a floating collection, meaning items remain at the branch where they were returned rather than being sent back to the lending branch. However, we do return inter-timeline loans to their home universe to minimize temporal strain. If you’re browsing the shelves and see a book phasing in and out of existence, alert an employee. It’s probably misshelved.  

Our new online system allows you to keep the same login information in all timelines. No more keeping track of dozens of passwords! If you previously created multiple logins tied to one card, visit the circulation desk, and we’ll merge your accounts for you. No, this will not make you responsible for alternate selves’ outstanding fines, and any version of yourself telling you that is lying to you.

You asked, and we listened. Our new online catalog displays reviews from patrons from all relevant timelines on items exceeding a 90% similarity score. We request that patrons keep debates over the superiority of their timeline’s version to venues other than our catalog.

Although our staff members are not medical professionals, they have been trained to recognize signs of temporal instability. If you are experiencing characteristic symptoms (faintness, disorientation, physical and/or mental age changes, etc.), a staff member can administer grounding agents until emergency services arrive.

The library has a robust inter-timeline loan system. If you’re looking for a book or article not published in this timeline, fill out our online form or ask at the circulation desk. The average wait time for an ITL request is five business days. That’s shortened to three if you’re requesting an item stored at the James Patterson Interdimensional Warehouse. (Note: This estimate may change as the warehouse continues to expand under its own power, or if our courier gets lost there.)

Our policies:

We do not accept returns before the publication date (month and year). Cataloging books paradoxically created through stable time loops gets too complicated. You can check a book’s month of publication in a review journal like Booklist, which we make available online and in our non-circulating magazine collection.

We’ve recently gone fine-free in this timeline, meaning we no longer charge fees for overdue books. This policy varies between consortium timelines depending on whether certain people on the board of directors have retired yet.

If a book is damaged beyond repair, lost in a Time Hole, or overwritten out of existence by timeline changes, you will be responsible for the replacement cost or a flat fee of $30, whichever is lower. We do not recommend attempting to rewrite time to avoid losing or damaging the book, as we would prefer to purchase a new copy rather than tear a hole in the fabric of reality.

Patrons may use our computers for two hours. You can extend this time if there are no other patrons waiting. Show respect to other library users and do not abuse time travel to circumvent the policy when there is high demand. We will notice if there are two of you at our computing stations. Yes, even if one of you is wearing a funny hat.

The library values your privacy. We will not disclose account information or the content of reference transactions to anyone, including alternate versions of the account holder. The library also does not keep a record of the materials you check out. However, some of our databases do track user data. If you need to conceal your presence in this timeline to avoid paradoxes, the Time Cops, or your ex, we keep a collection of electronic resource licenses at the reference desk so you can judge which products to avoid.

Holder vs. Holder found that copyright protections extend across timelines and prior to publication, and copyright is exclusive to the iteration who created the work. Patrons attempting to copy library materials and publish them under their own name will have their cards revoked, even if they created the material in another timeline. This policy was adopted after consultation with our legal team. Trans-timeline copyright enforcement is very aggressive.

The library respects the personhood and autonomy of patrons no matter their timeline of origin. However, this respect is not always universal. If you need to know what the laws are for time travelers/alternate selves/dimension-hoppers/“timeclones”/etc. in this dimension (or the terminology used to refer to them), stop by the reference desk.

Violence is against library policy. If you are about to battle your alternate self from another timeline because you ran into each other in the cookbook section, take it to the parking lot.

In conclusion:

Libraries are committed to free access to information, and with the resources of dozens of timelines available to us, our mission has only gotten bigger. In fact, we’re hiring! If you’re looking for somewhere new to apply your time travel certification, we’re looking for team members in our inter-timeline loan department. Entry-level courier positions do not require an MLIS. Familiarity with James Patterson is a plus.

We can’t wait to see you in our library. (Maybe we already have.)  

[lesbianmarrow]

US-based folks who love queer film - the 2024 lineup for newfest (the new york lgbtq+ film festival) was posted today! if you're not in new york city but you live in the US, i'd recommend checking out virtual tickets and passes. almost all of the films have options to stream virtually - it's $14.50 to rent one film (or one block of short films) and $99 for a virtual pass, which gives you access to all of the films available to stream virtually for the duration of the festival (october 10-22). i know that's a bit more pricey than most options to rent or watch films online, but i think it's worth it to help support independent queer cinema. plus you could have a watch party with all your friends and you all could pool your money together so you could have a little film festival at home! i've seen really incredible films at this festival in the past and i just want to share this wonderful opportunity with all of you!

[scootatwoni]

Miku expo 2024 is off to a truly awful start but I haven't seen any posts on here detailing the mess. So here we go, here's what's happened so far.

I will be linking some posts and threads from Twitter and will update this post as need be.

5/1 edits and additions are in blue

**PLEASE DO NOT comment or send me DMs complaining about the setlist**

**Rather than tweet complaints at the Miku Expo twitter account, it may be best to email CFM and/or Crunchyroll directly.**

🎵 First up, ticket presales.

This year the expo was sponsored by Crunchyroll and ticket presales were only supposed to be available to those that had a Crunchyroll subscription. Those that qualified were emailed a code for presale. However, when that code was inevitably leaked to the public, it turned out anyone could buy presales because it wasn't set up in any way to verify your subscription.

Additionally, VIP tickets are supposed to give the holder early access to the venue and merch tables, but I'm hearing that this is not being honored despite it being advertised on some of the venue pages. (see replies to this tweet)

VIP for San Jose did not grant early access to merch

The VIP package does not include a glow stick (scroll down to "about MIKU EXPO VIP PACKAGE" here), which causes some more difficulties for those that were not able to buy a glow stick online.

🎵 Merch

Higher prices and lower stock than usual. This is especially frustrating for the glow sticks.

The only glow sticks that are allowed inside these venues are ones made for the event or ones from past vocaloid concerts. This is because other glow sticks are too bright and will reflect on the hologram screen. But what with the stocks being so low, many people can't even get these glow sticks.

Merch at the venues is also not looking promising. People are reporting there have only been a quantity of 95 glow sticks per venue.

The Official Miku instagram announced on 5/1 a merch restock. At this point there are only 7 shows left (the next of which is on 5/2). It is unlikely any of the merch will arrive on time.

🎵 so about that screen

The biggest news to come out about Miku expo 2024 is that they arent using the hologram screen. The Vancouver and Portland concerts have used an LED screen.

This was neither advertised nor communicated from CFM or Crunchyroll to the public.

This also makes the prohibiting of outside glow sticks redundant, as they won't interfere with an LED screen.

An LED screen is much cheaper to use than the transparent screen used for the holograms. And a lot of folks are pointing out the discrepancies between this and the higher ticket and merch prices.

The LED screen is also a lot more noticeable and out of place, it hasn't been blended well on the stage so far. Views from further back and the sides are not looking great.

The Miku Expo team have stated that the Vancouver show was filmed officially. Seeing as the LED screen was also used in Portland, we can reasonably assume the LED has nothing to do with the filming.

Fans are speculating that the reason the Miku Expo team have prohibited photos and videos at this year's expo is to hide the fact that an LED screen is being used for multiple concerts.

There's also speculation that the hologram screen is in CA in preparation for Coachella, where Miku is meant to preform on the 13th and 20th of April. Please note that this is just speculation, we have no way atm to confirm this. UPDATE: The LED was used at Coachella

Additionally, I personally would recommend not getting your hopes up about the hologram screen replacing the LED one for any concerts after Coachella. Seeing as neither Crunchyroll or CFM have communicated or addressed any of the complaints yet, we may just be stuck with the LED for the whole tour.

A spokesperson for CFM addressed the concerns via this article from Business Insider. The LED will be used for the entirety of the NA and Europe tour.

The LED screen broke during the phoenix show. Apparently the vibration from the bass was so strong it shook the connection lose. It was fixed at the end of On The Rocks.

🎵 the doujin goods incident at Vancouver

Please refer to this thread for the full info, but here is a summary:

The Miku Expo team refused to let a fan distribute free doujin goods despite this fan getting prior permission from CFM to do so. An individual also took this fan's miku cutout, though I believe it was returned later.

🎵 there is still a live band

I figured I'd clear this up since I've seen some mild miscommunication on it. There is a live band, just not the usual band they have for Miku concerts. This is not at all an issue, and in fact I've heard nothing but good things about the live band. I figured I'd bring it up for information's sake.

Honestly, kudos to them killing it on stage in the midst of the mess.

🎵 Miscellaneous

-Someone Allegedly pissed on the floor of the Vancouver show. I have. no words. What the FUCK dude. If anyone can find the original tweet(s) claiming this, please link them to me. I'm not rooting through vocatwt to find the piss tweets.

-There was a car crash outside of the san jose concert, in front of a full line of miku expo attendees. The driver's plate fell off. Fans got a hold of it and took pictures with it, some using the hashtag #trafficjam as a reference to the NILFRUITS song of the same name. Someone even kept the plate.

UPDATE: The plate was returned to the authorities

-Fans cheering for Elmo at San Jose.

-Someone is looking into a class action lawsuit. This has sparked some discourse. Many want some kind of justice irt to the poor organization of Miku Expo thus far, but others are fearful that taking any kind of legal actions will put the future of NA vocaloid concerts in jeopardy.

-Someone brought a ball pit to the atlanta show

-Master Chief in the miku expo pit. Jesus was there too.

-Garfield

-A man suspected back in 2016 of having CP and investigated by the police, attends the Atlanta show. Do not exchange personal info with this man. If you already have, please cut ties immediately. Please report any suspicious activity to the authorities. Here is his entry on the US sex offender registry.

🎼Concluding notes

It's been 6 years since Miku expo has come overseas. The 2020 tour was cancelled due to covid and Miku expo 2024 is it's 10th anniversary. This was supposed to be a big deal, a huge comeback tour for NA!!

However, due to absolute abysmal planning on Crunchyroll and CFM's parts, Miku expo has been a massive disappointment for many fans so far.

I know I'm nervous for when I go in May, but I want to try and end this on a more positive note.

Vocaloid has, first and foremost, always been about the music and the community. It's undeniable that we as fans have been mistreated by CFM and Crunchyroll here This is not the concert tour we deserve, but I'm sure we can still find things to enjoy.

Hearing vocaloid songs live has always been a dream of mine, and for the first time in my life I'll be surrounded in person by folks who love vocaloid as much as I do. I couldn't even fathom being in this situation back in the early days of vocaloid, being a little kid listening to Melt and World is Mine for the very first time.

I'm absolutely still angry about how the expo has been handled, but I still want to enjoy what I can, being with folks who share that same passion.

There are plenty of fans on twitter detailing the fun time they had at the shows so far. If you do end up going, you can absolutely still have fun too!! And please please please do not spread your negativity to the producers on the set list for Miku expo and Coachella. These artists worked so hard and they are not responsible for the bad decisions made this year.

[allthecanadianpolitics]

A Quebec law firm has proposed a class-action lawsuit against Costco Canada alleging unfair pricing. Perrier Attorneys says the retailer charged more for items online than in-store, a practice known as “double ticketing,” which is banned under the Competition Act. It also alleges Costco provided false or misleading information about additional charges like shipping fees. It claims the retailer failed to inform customers some items were available in-store, giving the impression that they were only sold online — and at a higher price. Ibrahim El Bechara, who is leading the case, highlights over a dozen instances of price discrepancies from purchases he made in 2024 in the 17-page lawsuit filed on Dec. 23.

Continue Reading

Tagging: @newsfromstolenland

[drchucktingle]

TICKETS LINKS ARE HERE: https://us.macmillan.com/tours/chuck-tingle-bury-your-gays/

YES BUCKAROOS the time has come for you to trot with me live and in person on the BURY YOUR GAYS BOOK TOUR. ask anyone who has previously trotted, this is not your average book tour these are SHOWS so come ready to get RILED. 

on camp damascus tour most book stores did not have enough room and we had to turn many buckaroos away, so this time many of these shows are in off-site theaters. HOPEFULLY there will be enough room in larger venues but i will say it again for the buckaroos in the back, IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT COMING TO SEE YOUR BUD CHUCK THEN GET TICKETS NOW because last time most of them sold out. ALSO almost all dates on this tour give you a free copy of BURY YOUR GAYS with ticket purchase.

as of posting this there are three dates that do not have ticket links yet: los angeles, bozeman, and new orleans, but check back for when those trot online. EVERYTHING ELSE IS AVAILABLE NOW

more details for you buckaroos:

JULY 8TH - NEW YORK, NY at STRAND BOOKSTORE

JULY 10TH - BROOKLINE, MA with BROOKLINE BOOKSMITH at COOLIDGE CORNER THEATRE

JULY 12TH - ST. LOUIS, MO with LEFT BANK BOOKS at THE HEAVY ANCHOR

JULY 13TH - DOYLESTOWN, PA at THE DOYLESTOWN BOOKSHOP

JULY 15TH - NASHVILLE, TN with PARNASSUS BOOKS at THE NASHVILLE PUBLIC LIBRARY

JULY 16 OR 17TH - NEW ORLEANS, LA with TUBBY & COOS. more info to come

JULY 19TH - SALT LAKE CITY, UT with UNDER THE UMBRELLA BOOKSTORE at UTAH MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART

JULY 20TH - BOZEMAN, MT at COUNTRY BOOKSHELF

JULY 31ST - SEATTLE, WA at THRID PLACE BOOKS (LAKE FOREST PARK)

AUGUST 2ND - PORTLAND, OR with ALWAYS HERE BOOKSTORE and guest buckaroo TJ KLUNE at CLINTON STREET THEATER

AUGUST 4TH - LOS ANGELES, CA with NORTH FIGUEROA BOOKSHOP at DYNASTY TYPEWRITER

[ns-games]

2024 CrowdStrike Incident

I just wanted to document my day today. Since I feel this is a pretty major historical event in the history of computing.

From my understanding, the update that CrowdStrike pushed occurred last night, but I wasn't made aware of it until this morning.

I heard the notification for Microsoft Teams go off on my work phone a couple of times while I was still in bed. I decided not to answer right away since employees are supposed to call me directly if there's a production issue. However, around 5:30 this morning, I got a call from one of my team leads telling me that a CrowdStrike update got pushed earlier that has now "BitLockered" a bunch of computers.

For context, my team uses the term "BitLockered" for any time a computer crashes and requires the BitLocker encryption key to recover.

In any case, I was asked if I could run over to our local distribution center right away to start mitigating the damage. I immediately got up, got dressed, grabbed my work laptop and bag and left. I skipped my morning coffee and shower so I could get there ASAP.

When I finally managed to get inside the building, I started taking a look around the front office and saw several computers stuck on the Windows Recovery Mode screen. Already starting to look like a bad sign. I started booting up my work laptop, which I thankfully did not leave turned over overnight, and headed upstairs to a bank of production computers. As soon as I got up there, I saw a sea of Windows Recovery Mode screens.

By this point my Microsoft Teams notifications started going off non-stop, and I started running the recommended fix on one of the computers. Basically I was trying to make sure I understood how to perform the fix. At this point, it became apparent we were going to have to touch every endpoint in our network at every facility.

Around 6:00AM, I got a call from a manager from a separate facility asking me about what was going on. This is someone that's constantly just called me instead of submitting a help desk ticket, and I've tried to be patient with. Today I had to be a bit more blunt and state that I couldn't drop what I was doing to come over and help, but that someone would be there later today to assist. This manager continued to try and call me throughout the day, but I had to keep telling him that I was not going to be available all day.

Around 6:30AM one of my co-workers made it to the distribution center to help. I ran the fix on his laptop and we started working to fix each computer one by one. A bit later I noticed my mom texted me that she heard about this in the news. So I looked up "CrowdStrike" on Google and found that not only were we affected by it, but many other major companies were.

As we started getting workstations back online, it became apparent that was only going to be half the battle, as this issue caused most of our servers to crash as well. But at this point, we figured it would be best to continue to get as many workstations back up and running one by one. But because the servers were down, I kept getting asked if I could restore a connection, which unfortunately we couldn't do until the server team could run the fixes on our servers.

Eventually I was asked to join a Zoom call so I could start providing other facilities with BitLocker keys so they could start running the fix on their own computers. Some machines we determined could be fixed by reverting to a restore point. Others we had find a way to manually remove the "C-00000291*.sys* file by booting the computer into Safe Mode with Networking. Those devices ended up costing us a bunch of time to get back up and running.

By the time 5:00PM rolled around, I asked if I could go home and continue to work from there. So I took the opportunity to go home, get myself cleaned up, and continue to work. By 8:30PM it seemed that things had died down to the point we could stop for the day. I'm sure we've got a few machines we still need to apply the fix to, but we managed to get our core business back up and running within the matter of a few hours.

So yeah, long story. But I just felt like documenting it, given that this is an event that's probably going to be pretty well remembered in the history books.

[midnight1nk]

EPISODE CONCEPT #7

What if... SMG4 takes a vacation?

[more below cut]

For context... c'mon, can't a guy catch a break? :) Time for a vacation! Also available on Wattpad - [link]

Let's hope Four doesn't waste all the bajillion dollars I just gave him. Am I right, @bowlolol? (yep it's part 2 of concept #5 - link)

"No regrets."

Four zips up his suitcase with an exhausted yet satisfied “hmph”. He sat the case up to its wheel, facing the Crew.

SMG4: “You guys have always been telling me to take a break from editing, especially because of WOTFI and Marty months ago. It’s about time. Besides, I just finished editing the video I’ve worked on for the past week.” [*pulls out his phone and presses publish*] “And…there, I should be good for the whole vacation. I mean, who wouldn’t want to see a 10-hour complication of Kermit clips!” Mario, on his knees: “SMG4, please take Mario with you!” SMG4: “Sorry, Mario, but the giveaway only had one ticket to give out. It was such a good deal too!” [*points over the pile of empty Rizz soda cans in the corner*] “Totally worth it.”

While Mario was pleading Four sneak him in his suitcase, shaking him, Meggy was on the phone.

Meggy: “Thanks again, Auri, for being SMG4’s guide. Just make sure he doesn’t lose his suitcase like I did.” Auri, giggles: “Of course, anything for you, partner! I’ll be sure to meet him at the port. Guy with the blue “S” cap, right?” [*Meggy nods*] “Alright. But I hope his ship gets here before the storm does, heard it was going to be really rough.” Meggy: “Yeah, SMG4 can get a bit seasick. Well, we’re just about to drop him off by the docks. I’ll talk to you soon, Auri!”

After Auri says goodbye, they hang up and Meggy turns to see Mario being dragged around by his grip on Four’s ankle.

Meggy: “Ready to go?” SMG4: [*thumbs up*] “You bet!”

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

The Crew waved Four farewell as he did the same as he was on board the ship heading towards Port Aurora. Once the ship was out of sight, they all went back to what they were doing, content with the fact that Four wouldn’t be in front of the screen all day. Well, everyone except Mario, who was staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom out of boredom.

Don’t get him wrong, Mario is happy for Four. Ever since the ‘perfect’ incident, each of them were secretly weary of Four spending too much time editing a video. Not that they could stop him completely, he’s a YouTube content creator after all. So, they would occasionally go up to him and ask him for something or straight up to take a break. Mario remembered he did it one time, when he asked Four for milk. Sure, it wasn’t the most solid plan but it was at least something that distracted him for a bit. What other plan was there anyway?

Ask him for a cup of sugar? Pfft. That’s pretty lame excuse, even for Mario.

Mario groaned, getting off from his bed. Four finally takes a break but without him around, the poor plumber was left alone, bored. There wasn’t really anyone to go along with his funny shenanigans. So, he tried it with his other friends.

Luigi ended up having to clean up the mess he did at the flow shop. Melony was busy working on her second book. He got bored listening to Boopkin’s stories. Three was also busy, running the cafe and streaming. Saiko was in band practice with Kaizo.

Then, there was Meggy. From what he could tell, Meggy was unsure if she could keep her red beanie. Unsure what to do with her life anymore. He couldn’t blame her, after Western Spaghetti and what Mr Puzzles did. It was a lot to take in. It’ll be best to give her some space, away from his silliness.

So, he tried doing stuff on his own, like reacting to some Nintendo memes in the game room. But it didn’t feel the same. Tari was also there, focused on a gaming session with Belle and some other online friends. However, seeing how Mario drooped in his chair, Tari paused her game.

Tari: “Sorry guys but I need to do something real quick. Be right back.” [mutes herself and goes over to Mario] “Hey, Mario? You feeling okay?” Mario: “Mario was just so bored. Wish SMG4 was here.” Tari: “Oh, Mario, it’s only been a couple of hours. He won’t be back until after 3 weeks.” Mario, eyes shot open: “ONLY A COUPLE OF HOURS?” [*shakes Tari by the shoulders*] “Tari, someone is messing with the time gods! It’s the end of the world!” Tari, reassuring: [*grabs his hands*] “You really miss him, huh?” Mario, calms down: “He is Mario’s best friend, we have done a lot of stuff together.” Tari: “Hmm, do you want to hang out with me?” Mario: “Thanks, but it won’t feel the same.”

She takes a moment to think, pointing a finger on her chin, until an idea comes to mind.

Tari: “Why don’t you send SMG4 a video postcard?” [*Mario looks at her curiously*] “I’m sure SMG4 misses us too, so maybe you could send a video of our friends. Around the Showgrounds. You could ask him to do the same in Port Aurora. That way, you guys will still be in contact.”

Mario’s eyes sparkled, jumping with enthusiasm. He shakes Tari’s hand, thanking her, before running out of the game room. With a camera in hand, he goes around recording everything he can and the first person he went to was Luigi, of course. Mario apologized about the mess but he is willing to make it up to him by helping out doing some labor. Luigi was happy at the offer.

While Luigi handled with customers and arranged flower arrangements, Mario was going around doing deliveries. It was the best part, after all, steering the wheel while making airplane noises. Nearly crashing into several cars, y'know the usual. But then he passed by Meggy’s house. Wanting to cheer her up, he asked Meggy to come along.

Meggy: “I don’t know, Red.” Mario: “C’mon, it'll be fun! Certified Mario promise.” Meggy, still unsure: “Well, okay…”

Mario let out a “yippee” and dragged her to the delivery truck. As Mario drove, Meggy was reading off the list for him since he’s not a fan of reading.

Meggy, stopping at a particular address: “Wait, ‘Wright’? As in, Phoenix Wright?” Mario: “Oh, yeah. That was the lawyer guy you’re a fan of, right?” Meggy, excited: “Can we go see him?”

Mario was surprised by her sudden change of attitude but he smiled, gladly changing the route for her. Stopping at a tall office building, Meggy and Mario went in and searched for Phoenix Wright’s office. At the reception desk, they saw the man himself, talking to two younger lawyers in red and yellow. The secretary, seeing the duo, called out to Phoenix.

???: “Ooh, looks like someone got a nice bouquet!”

Phoenix, seeing the familiar faces by the desk, excused himself from his co-workers before greeting the M&M duo.

Phoenix: “Hello Mario, Meggy! It’s been a while. Do you guys need more legal help?” Mario, holding out the bouquet of red roses: “No, Mario's just here to help Luigi out.”

Phoenix grabs it from his hands and examines the card attached. From reading it, he grew a fond smile on his face.

Phoenix: “Thanks for the delivery.” Meggy: “Um, actually, I could use some advice. Between friends, if that’s okay.” Phoenix: [tilts head, then nods] “Sure, why don’t we take a walk?” [turns to the secretary, handing the flowers to her] “Truce…” Trucy: “Don’t worry, I’ll let them know. Just be back before we need to meet for lunch.” Phoenix, chuckles: “Oh, yeah.” [*impersonating with a mid-Atlantic accent*] “Wright, I reserved this days ago and you’re here drenched in rainwater. This is what happens when you’re late.” [*back to normal*] “Alright then, take the wheel. We all know how Apollo was last time.” ???: “HEY! That wasn’t even my fault!”

Phoenix and Trucy shake their heads. He guides Mario and Meggy out, and to a nearby park. Mario had some packages to deliver nearby so he left the other two to walk alone.

Phoenix: “So, what’s in your mind?” Meggy: [shrugs] “It’s just…” [sighs] “A lot has happened.”

Meggy goes on to explain what happened after the Nintendo lawsuit. The ‘It’s Gotta Be Perfect’ incident, Western Spaghetti. Mr Puzzles, Leggy. With the Crew, every day is another adventure but it’s starting to take a toll on her sometimes.

Meggy: “Everything I am was because of One-Shot Wren. Splatfest, Desti. I idolized him so much that I didn’t know what to do with myself. I get where he was coming from, I do. But he hurt my friends, me. It’s like I lived through a lie, my entire life. I just don’t know what to do anymore.” Phoenix, nods understandingly: “I see. Y’know, you remind me of a friend. He, too, idolized someone, put them on a pedestal. I think it was because he knew what he lost, and he wished he could have it back. Like you, he pursued the same career his idol had, following every guideline to a 'T'. When he discovered his idol was nothing but a cruel man, he felt lost. What else can you do when you are just a pawn in someone else’s game?” [*pulls out a locket from his pocket, clicking it open*] “So, he went to rediscover himself. What it means to be a prosecutor, was what he told me. He found that answer, pursuing the truth. He taught me a lot of things, and I guess I did the same for him.”

Phoenix hands the locket to Meggy, to finally see what was in that locket. It was a small family portrait: Phoenix, another man around the same age, one girl with a raven black ponytail, and another girl that Meggy recognized as the secretary she just met. What caught her eye was the gold rings both men wore.

Meggy: “Wait, you’re married?” [*hands the locket back*] Phoenix: [*laughs*] “Not a lot of people suspect the infamous Turnabout Terror being married to the city’s Chief Prosecutor. Yes, before we got into law, we were childhood friends.” Meggy: “Ah, well congrats! You seem to have a nice family.” Phoenix, hums: “I do. And don’t think we don’t have our hardships. The point is, Meggy, it’s not too late to rediscover who you are. If you want to continue with Splatfest, do it. If you want to continue doing law, do it. But do it for yourself, not to prove something to anyone. Like I said, the truth can help you a lot when you want to find it.” Meggy: [*nods in gratitude*] “Thanks, I really needed this.”

Mario comes back to get Meggy, both saying goodbye to the lawyer. Meggy soon learned about the postcard idea Tari proposed and wanted to help Mario out, thinking it was a great idea. After the deliveries, they went along filming postcards for everyone.

Luigi and Shroomy preparing a giant flower float of an incoming parade. Melony and Swag presenting the publishing gathering of her newest book. Boopkins having a friendly hangout with Hatsune Miku, talking about anime. Tari and her friends in a gaming tournament. Bob trying, and faliing to get rich at a nearby casino. Saiko and Kaizo performing in a live audience.

After gathering all of the film, Mario went to go edit them in Four’s room. Four, being a content creator and all, would surely have the best editing software. Pulling the app up, Mario noticed Four left a project open, labeled “video3_draftdraft(unfinished)”.

Mario, skimming through the video: “Huh, a 10-hour compilation of Kermit clips…” [*shrugs*] “Ah, classic SMG4, he forgot to save and close out.”

Mario went ahead and save it, dragging the file to the ‘Complete’ folder Four had. The outlier, the rest of the files in that folder were either labeled “final” or “(ready)”.

Mario: “All done.” [*does a thumbs-up*] “Now, time to do the postcard.”

Editing the videos into a single one, Meggy came to check in on how he was doing. Overall, it looks awesome. Except for one thing…

SMG3, annoyed: “What do you want?” [*points at Mario*] And what’s with the giant camera?” Mario, with a comedically large camera: “We’re gonna send SMG4 a video postcard!” Meggy: “It’s almost complete, we just need something from you.” SMG3, changing to amused: “Well then, I’ll gladly make a clip all about me!” Meggy: “SMG3, be serious. This isn’t time for you to gloat, you can do that any other time. It’s more than a postcard, it’s to show that we care about SMG4 as his friends.” SMG3, mixed expression of bashfulness and denial: “Friends?” [*looks away, crossing his arms*] “Uh, no. No, we aren’t friends.”

Both Meggy and Mario shared a suspicious brow. Yeah, sure.

Mario: “So, can we film?” SMG3: “No.” Mario and Meggy, surprised: “What? Why?” SMG3: “Because I said so.”

Knowing Three, perhaps too well, Meggy knows he’s hiding something.

Meggy: “Well, if you want to, you can just film it yourself and send us the clip. We’ll leave you be, c’mon Red.”

Three watched as M&M duo walked back to the Castle before being back in the cafe. Nearby Eggdog barked, warning him that it was almost time for his stream.

SMG3: “You’re right, thanks Eggdog.” [*pats Eggdog on the head*] “Pfft, sending a sappy video to SMG4. As if!”

He went ahead to stream Mario Party for tonight, the usual routine. After thanking the chat for the subs and donations, he logged off and pulled out his notebook to write about the day. Just as he turned to a blank page, his finger stopped at a particular page and he stopped to see what it was. It was the drawing he drew at the end of WOTFI 2023, of him and SMG4 sharing a coffee together. Three’s face softens.

It’s such a phenomenon, isn’t it?

Rivals, friends, none of it matters when it comes to Four and Three. They would always cross each other’s paths, bounded by a cosmic link. And yet, the roles they play were already set in stone the moment they landed in the Mushroom Kingdom. Good and bad, light and dark.

Two sides of the same coin.

It was always one pressing the other, to keep on their toes. Three supposed that was the thrill of it all, his life ever more exciting. He always wondered if Four felt the same way. If he suspected that it was the case, then it would be even more proof that they can keep up each other’s pace. Three knows Four, and Four in return. It’s what essentially saved Four from the ‘perfect’ incident.

Other than Four, no one else could truly understand. Even with Four, there are secrets Three hoped they would never see the light of day. It was the role he was chosen part, and the show must go on. If he revealed all of himself to the rest of the world, surely people wouldn’t be happy about it. Hell, people already despised him for not being threatening anymore. How far was he truly going to go for them? For Four?

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, he supposed he could do a clip.

Indeed, take after take, he tried to make a video he was satisfied with. But no matter what he did, his words weren’t right. His silence wasn’t right. Naturally, he was frustrated at that fact but he pushed himself to give one last take.

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Looking over their shoulders, Three’s eyes chased after the mouse cursor. He already sent the video to Meggy, trusting her more than Mario. Three already knew Mario would tease him for what he essentially said to Four. Regardless, he kept an eye on the M&M duo editing the video, occasionally warning them to not look at his clip. To not even think of listening to it.

After saving the video, Meggy exported the final video to Mario’s phone.

Meggy: “And, I think we’re done!” [*shares a high-five with Mario*] SMG3: “You better delete my clip from your messages, Squid.” Meggy: [*rolls eyes*] “Don’t worry, I got it.” [*shows her phone screen as proof*] Mario: “Yippee! Mario can’t wait to see Four’s reaction!”

When Mario send the video to Four, a warning pops up on the screen. “No signal.” Mario shoves the phone to Meggy.

Mario: “Meggy?” Meggy, looks over: “Hmm, that’s strange. There should be signal in the island, let me call Auri.”

It took a couple of rings but Auri finally responded.

Auri, concerned: “Meggy! I’m so sorry.” Meggy, shocked but quickly reassured: “Auri, calm down. What happened?” Auri: “I promised I would find your friend. But when the ship arrived, I was running late and he wasn’t at the port when I got there. I tried looking everywhere, but I’ve lost him.” Meggy: “Hey, it’ll be alright. Maybe he went off on his own.” SMG3: “I’ll call the hotel.”

Three pulled out his phone and dialed the number Four gave to them.

Receptionist: “Hello, this is Hotel Aurora. How can we help you?” SMG3: “Hey. Listen, we’re looking for a friend who booked a room in your hotel. His name’s SMG4.”

A pause, the muffled sound of the keyboard typing in the background.

Receptionist: “Sorry, sir, but we don’t have anyone under the name SMG4.” Mario: “What are you talking about? He was the winner of that giveaway the Rizz soda company had.” Receptionist: “What giveaway? We hadn’t received anything from any company about that.”

Meggy, Mario, and Three all looked at each other, their eyes widened at the implications. Where in the world is Four?

The Showgrounds went into complete chaos. The Crew tried contracting Four with no response. They contacted the cruise that took Four over sea and according to their logs, Four never got off that ship. Meggy asked Auri for a team to search the island.

Waiting was agony. But what else could they do?

Mario apparently did, suggesting to use the tracker on Four’s phone. It worked last time when Mr Puzzles planned with Puzzlevision. After contacting the phone company and requesting Four’s last location, they couldn’t believe what they heard next.

Four’s phone was in the Mushroom Kingdom. As if he never left.

The Crew immediately contacted everyone they knew to create a search party. Bowser, Shroomy, the military, FM & X, Wario, Waluigi, the Anti-cast, all of the Mario recolors. All of the volunteers as well as the Crew gathered outside the SMG4 Castle while Meggy stood on a stage with a megaphone.

Meggy: “Alright, everyone. SMG4 could be here in the Mushroom Kingdom but the tracker couldn’t pinpoint where it is! We need to split up to cover more ground. If anyone finds him, contact us and tell us where he is.” [*scans over everyone’s worried faces, taking a breath*] “Just be careful out there. We’ll get SMG4 home.”

The crowd scattered, each going their own way, but Meggy pulled Mario aside.

Meggy: “Red, I know it might be impossible but there’s a place I want to check out.“ [*hold up her Splattershott*] “Want to be my backup?”

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

BOOM

Meggy and Mario busted in through the office door, a trail of unconscious patients on the floor behind them. Ugh, the Meme Rehab. They didn’t exactly had a choice but it was better to be safe than sorry. They glared at the man who’s now cowering in the corner of the room. Meggy goes over and picks him up by the collar.

Meggy: “Alright, Mr. Niceguy, where’s SMG4?” Mr. Niceguy, confused: “SMG4? But I haven’t—” [*Meggy slaps him*] Meggy: “Don’t play dumb! Tell us where you’re hiding him!” Mr. Niceguy: [*screams*] “I swear I don’t know where he is! I swear it on my mother’s ashes, please don’t hurt me!” Mario: “Uh, Meggy.” [*points at all the containers filled with other patients' lobes*] “Mario thinks he’s telling the truth. No SMG4 lobe here.” Mr. Niceguy: “The red guy is right, I would’ve done another lobotomy on him if he came back. I swear that he didn’t, though.” Meggy: [*sighs, letting the doctor go*] “Great, another dead end. I’ll let the rest know then.” [*send a text to the search party group chat*] Mr Niceguy, mutters: “He was such a great patient. Well, if he wasn’t so weird.”

Mario and Meggy shared a confused look, then to the doctor.

Meggy: “What do you mean by weird?”

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Hearing a ding from his back pocket, Three saw Meggy’s message of Four not being in the Meme Rehab. As much as it seemed uplifting, It only made Three’s concerning suspicions grow larger. Walking down the path, he spotted something familiar. He ran and picked it up, it was Four’s phone. Turning it on, he saw the dozens of abandoned calls and messages, dating all the way back to the day SMG4 supposedly left for that vacation.

Looking ahead, he saw a figure on the horizon, a dot of blue, and his blood ran cold. He begged each and every star, hoping Four wouldn’t be back here. But he was. Three sent a quick text to the group, telling them that he found him and where, before he ran towards that dreaded place.

Four was standing by the edge of the Pit of the old Castle ruins, looking down at the demonic gateway.

Once Three managed to get closer, he slowed down his pace to a halt, afraid that one wrong move would scare Four into falling in.

SMG3: “SMG4?”

Four doesn't say a word but he slightly tilts his head, listening.

SMG3, confused and frustrated: “What, you’re not gonna say anything? Where the hell have you been? Everyone has been going around like headless chickens, they thought you got kidnapped! I thought…” [*stops himself before genuine worry rises within*] “What are you doing here?”

A beat. A rumble of thunder coming overhead.

SMG4, unusually calm: “You guys shouldn’t be jumping to conclusions. I’m fine, SMG3. I actually had a great time during my break. It helped me with a lot of things.”

Three approaches him slowly. There was another ding from his phone but he shut it off. Light rain started to drizzle.

SMG3: “C’mon, let’s just get out of here.” SMG4: “I’ve been thinking back at all the stuff I did. What I’ve chosen.” [*shakes head*] “No matter what I do, everything goes wrong.” SMG3, arm stretched out: “Four…”

Once Three’s hand was hovering over Four’s shoulder, Four gripped his arm. Within a blink, Three was flung into the air and slammed, the impact causing the ground to crack. Three groaned, thinking that Four might’ve broke his back, until Four picked him up by the throat. Three’s hands immediately tried to pry himself free but Four’s grip was firm. With enough strength, Three looked at Four and he felt his heart sink.

Four’s eyes, they were pink.

A familiar goo enveloped his eyes, the pink plunging into the dark void. His expression was blank, before it suddenly formed new eyes. Jagged and irregular, glowing white. It wasn’t Four anymore. He wasn’t even human. One eye was shaped like a triangle and the other was circular. After a blink, a wicked grin crept on Four’s face.

SMG4, voice growing an echo: "I should've saved the USB over you. It would've made things a lot better, wouldn't you agree?” SMG3, choking: “Four… don’t…” SMG4, snapped: [*eyes cycled to different ones*] “You have no idea how many hours, weeks, I sacrificed for that perfect video! And then, you had the audacity to say we’re friends, you just wanted to save your own skin.” [*back to the initial set*] “But that’s about to change, and everything will be perfect.” [*holds out Three over the edge*] “Goodbye, SMG3.”

The unnatural strength gathered in his arm, Four tossed Three into the pit, and with that, time seemed to slow down. From the corner of his eye, Three could see the satisfaction beaming off of this man. It isn’t Four.

But it was too late. There was nothing Three could do other than to meet his demise.

Suddenly, a force grabbed him by the side, and was pulled out of the way to solid ground with a thump. Three placed a hand over his head and sat up, to discover that the force was Mario. The red plumber looked exasperated, more of worry than anything else.

SMG4: “What?”

There was a flinch in his eye, as if it was sensing something from behind. Then, when time slowed once more, he dodged the paintball that raced towards him, missed by a hair. The paint, along the goo covering him, were gone. Four spun around, a trail of pink light from his eyes shimmered like a comet, until he landed into a defensive stance. He moved like a glitch. As the trail faded away, he growled at his newfound threat.

The terrified Crew ran over the hill, Meggy leading them with her Splattershott.

Meggy: “SMG3, get away from that thing!” [*takes another shot*]

Effortlessly, Four manages to dodge that shot as well. He glared at Three, a silent promise that he’ll be back, before escaping. A clash of thunder strikes the ground and the Crew lost sight of him. As Mario helped Three up, the Crew finally reached to them.

Mario: “SMG3, did SMG4 look different to you?” SMG3: “Yeah, his eyes were pink. The goo.” [*shakes his head, starting to get frustrated and lost*] “Can someone tell me what’s going on?! Why the fuck does SMG4 have that goo from incident?”

The Crew looked at each other, unsure what to say to Three. What can they say? Meggy, mustering up the strength, took a step forward.

Meggy: “There’s something you should know.”

Recalling everything from the interrogation in the Meme Rehab, the surgeon explained that during the lobotomy, he discovered something unnatural in Four’s body. It looked like goo. When he tried poking at it, the goo grew eyes and screeched. He felt like his ears were about to bleed so he quickly finished stitching Four’s head up. His curiosity, however, got the better of him.

Taking a sample of Four’s blood, he examined it under a microscope and observed tiny black specks plaguing the red blood cells before consuming them. Becoming one.

Meggy: “It never left. That goo has been taking over SMG4 this whole time, reacting to his emotions. He said that, at the rate that it was going, there won’t be anything left of him.” SMG3, still confused: “Wha…what are you saying?” [*she hesitates*] “Meggy.” [*she refuses to look at him and he grabs her by the arms*] “What are you saying?”

Meggy takes a breath, her mind trying to find a way how to put it delicately for Three. But in every way she sliced it, it just wouldn’t be fair for this man. She had to tell him, the way it has to be.

Meggy: “SMG4… is dead.”

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

He wanted this to end. Begged for it. He wanted someone to shake him by the shoulders, to wake him up. From his nightmare, from this sick joke. This level of cruelty, he wanted it to stop.

This was no nightmare.

It has been a week since the Crew last saw “SMG4”. It was best for it to stay that way, but they knew that thing would stop at nothing to take its vengeance. While the rest of the Crew was preparing the Castle for a grand meeting with the search party volunteers, Meggy was on the other SMGs. Other than the Crew, they were on an expedition and the first to receive the news. Currently rushing back to the Mushroom Kingdom from essentially dropping everything immediately.

SMG1: “This storm is affecting us a lot more than what we were expecting. But, we promise you that we are on our way. Just stay put.” Meggy: “Okay then, bye.” [*she hangs up, her hands holding her head*]

Tari, noticing Meggy’s distress, walks over and brings her into a side hug.

Boopkins: “Well, what now?” Meggy: “Once SMG1 and 2 are here, they can handle it.” Bob: “And do what? Use their meme powers to scare the goo away?” Saiko: “Bob!” Bob: [*pointing at Meggy*] “You said it yourself, that goo basically went full ‘Venom’ and took over SMG4! If he is dead, it’s going to find a new host.” Boopkins: “Bob, you’re not suggesting…” Bob: “Oh, I’m very much suggesting.” [*pulls out bazooka*] “It’s time to obliterate that son of a bitch.” Meggy: “He’s right.” Everyone else, besides Bob: “What?” Meggy: “Now that I thought about it, SMG4 hasn’t been himself ever since the incident. It’s more than just trauma. Sometimes he’s strong out of nowhere, or how he got good aim back at WOTFI. He’s been acting strange this whole time, I just couldn’t see it.” [*the rest start to feel a bit guilty as well*] We managed to save him the first time but…” [*glances at Four’s door*] “It was because Four was still in there.” Melony: “And, what if…” Meggy: “No. He’s really gone. I think, to save everyone, the goo has to go. For good. That’s what he would’ve wanted.”

The room filled with silence, it was almost suffocating. Four’s behavior, the debate was did they see or did they wish not to see? Either way, this was the price and they agreed that death would give mercy to Four’s soul from the pain and suffering he had to endure.

Without anyone noticing, Mario slipped into Four’s room, he needed to talk to him. The room was dark except for some sunlight peeking through the closed curtains. Just like outside, it was silent here. Other than Mario was Three, curled up in Four’s bed, refusing to face the door. His hair was in a loose and greasy mess, and he wore a light gray hoodie. It was one of Four’s.

Mario walked over to him, passing by plates of food pilling up on Four’s desk. Untouched. He sat on the edge opposite where Three laid, who was unfazed by the mattress shifting by the weight.

Mario: “…SMG4 isn’t dead.” [*a beat*] “Mario doesn’t know how, he just does. SMG3, you’re his partner. You guys are cosmically linked. You must’ve felt it if it broke, right?”

SMG3 stayed silent in response. Mario took a breath, steadying himself on what he was about to say.

Mario: “They’re planning to go after him and…” [*his voice starts to quiver*] “They can’t kill him! I can’t! I didn’t ask to kill my best friend, SMG3. I… don’t think I can.”

Silent, once again. Mario lets out a sigh and stands up.

Mario: “Mario just doesn’t want to lose another friend.”

He leaves Three alone in the room, the soft click of the door closing behind him.

What Mario couldn’t see were the silent tears that rolled down Three’s face. The news of SMG4’s death. The world completely changed, like someone pulled a rug from under his feet.

And nothing was the same again.

The minute they returned to the Castle, Three had beelined to Four’s room. Perhaps because he was still in denial, he tidied the room up. Four was never exactly an organized person anyway. Three made his bed, dusted his shelves, threw out the food takeout bags. He held on to that hope, that Four was gonna come in at any second and be normal again. That everything will be fine again.

That he’ll be back.

Even when tears started to form in the corners of his eyes, he refused and refused and refused goddamnit. He’d known Four for years, he had been his long-time rival for meme’s sake. Four was stubborn, resilient. The sight of his determination shined brilliantly in Three's eyes, it blinded him as a rival but admired it as a friend. So, why? Why was this the thing that stopped Four?

Those thoughts spiraled in his mind as he folded up one of Four’s hoodies. From its touch, Three remembered when his partner wore it, that tender smile on his face. It was always reserved for Three. One memory was all it took for Three to terms with this undeniable fact, breaking into an uncontrollable sob and burying himself in the hoodie. Back then, when he had control over the YouTube Remote, he asked to replace SMG4.

This was what he asked for. And there he was, a complete mess.

After that, as the rest of the world was, he went numb. His friends came and go to check up on him. Food, condolences. They begged to say something, anything.

He didn't.

Sitting himself up, he looked down at what he clenched in his fist. It was a small USB that appeared identical to the pod Four landed in the Mushroom Kingdom with. Blue and white, fashioned in a bracelet. Ever since their pods flew away, these USB keys were left behind. During the confrontation at the Pit, Three somehow yanked it off from Four’s wrist.

Being isolation, it gave him time to think and one question remained, where did this goo even come from, before the ‘perfect’ incident? That keyboard, it must be a lead. It doesn’t matter how many precautions he had to prevent something like this from happening, he needed to find answers. He already failed Four once, this was the only way he could make it up to him.

With what Mario just told him, he was running out of time.

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

“Hey, Gary. I know this is out of the blue, but I need a favor.”

In the depths of the Dark Web, a light passes through the underground labyrinth. Three, a flashlight in one hand, fidgeted with the drawstring of Four’s hoodie. No one must know where the realm’s Archives are, much less that he was one of the Meme Guardians who had access to it.

“Is this about your cafe of yours?”

At last, he reached to a stone-bricked door, moss creeping through the cracks, and his hood was pulled off to allow himself to be scanned. With a confirming beep, the door rolled itself open and a computer covered in dust awaited for him inside. He swiped some of it off with a sleeve to find a small rectangular keyhole.

“No, not this time. I need you for a mission, you’re the only one in the Dark Web I can trust.”

Taking it off around his neck, Three held his black and indigo USB key, strung as a pendant. He inserted it into the keyhole and twisted it. The room suddenly awakens in light, rows of digital manilla folders circled at the ready.

After Three pressed a couple of buttons and scanned his photo, the database became a hurricane, narrowing down from millions. Only a few dozen closely matched the input he put in. He picked up each and every folder, his eyes skimming past unnecessary details until it came to one.

A folder, dated back years ago, long before he was a Guardian, perhaps held a start…

CLIENT NAME — Winston [REDACTED]

AGE — [REDACTED]

PRODUCT — Failed Lab Subject #18

He read through the shopkeeper's notes, how a man asked for a transmutation device that is compatible and adapts to biological matter. “The new evolution” was what he said. The buyer claimed that was a personal experiment on plants, Three highly doubts that it was.

From one file to another, Three chased a lead of this "subject #18" into a spiraling rabbit hole. A laboratory, unsanctioned experimentation. A weapon. All to lead to one name:

Project Horus

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Everyone in the Castle stood around the table, a sense of mourning settling in. Who knew it would have to come to this?

Tari: “How did the goo even get to SMG4? I thought it went down with Peach’s Castle.” Luigi: “Someone must’ve brought it back, maybe the keyboard wasn’t needed.” Saiko: “Well, SMG1 and 2 better be here soon and fix this mess. Forget the kingdom, the whole world will be in danger.” Swag: “As if they were there the first time.” [*pulls out a grenade*] “I’d say let’s blow that goo to smithereens.

Then, they all started to jump in with their own suggestions, shouting over each other that their idea was better. Bowser offered his airship, Steve his buckets of lava, the military their tanks. Bob with his (illegally-obtained) weapons, Saiko her hammer.

But when the question came of who was going to the one to finish Four, they beat around the bush.

Mario looked at all of them in disbelief, a pit forming in his stomach. It just couldn’t be real. His best friend, one he known for years, was gone. And here they were, debating how to kill the shell that was once Four. Meggy could feel his pain and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Meggy: “Red, I’m…”

The doors of the Castle burst open, distracting everyone from their argument.

Everyone, surprised: “SMG3?”

Indeed it was. Three, abandoning the hoodie and loose hair, marched in with a fresh new look. He wore a purple belt holding his black overalls, and his iconic gloves inverted in color. On one arm, he wore a red and white checkered band while the other had a simple stubbed black band. Gary was close behind him with a cart full of weaponry.

SMG3: “None of those are gonna work. That goo mutated from too many experiments that it's practically invincible.” [*walked to the table, leaning on its surface with his knuckles*] Bob: “How would you know that?” SMG3: “The goo was created by a secret government experiment to explore and survive in the Great Beyond. Or am I wrong, Chris?”

They all turn to Chris, then back to Three. Bewildered but it was clear that they demanded an explanation.

Swag: “Hold up, you can’t just accuse Chris of anything! Besides, there’s no…” [*he looks at Chris, who looked tense*] “Chris?” SMG3, to Swag: “I’m not accusing Chris of anything, don’t worry. He might’ve known about the experiment but he didn’t do any of the lab testing himself.” Chris, sighing in defeat: “It’s true. I remember when the whole base was in total chaos when the subject managed to break out of its containment chamber. Project Horus.” SMG3: “After that, it got captured and experimented on twice. A lab in the Dark Web, and Mr Puzzles.” [*the Crew freezes with a note of recognition in that name*] “We’re not going to be here all day pointing fingers on who’s going to be the one to kill the goo. I’ll do it.” Meggy: “SMG3, I don’t think…” SMG3: “I was SMG4’s Meme Guardian partner. It’s only fair that I'd be the one to take it down.” [*looks over at Mario, lowering his head apologetically*] Chris: “If the government couldn’t even control it, what makes you think you got a chance at this?” SMG3: “SMG4 was the one who gave it to us.”

Gary tosses him a black and red rifle. The Dark Web lab’s weapon, dubbed “The Ultimate Virus”, has a single “bullet” powerful enough not only to kill any entity, but it erase their existence entirely. This includes erasing any memory of it from everyone who interacted with said entity, in this case, the goo since it’s all that remained.

Why remember the monster that killed Four?

Though, it is useless by itself, without two particular keys. Well, except if you happened to be lucky. Inserting his and Four’s USB in their designated slots on each side, the rifle sparked to life. Its miniature lights glow red, ready to fire in Three’s command.

SMG3: “Whoever wants to join, prepare yourselves because there will be no coming back.”

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

There were a few who would know about this place. Passing from the Showgrounds and through the woods, there is a flower field on a nearby cliff, overlooking the sea. It’s quite calm, the only company other than oneself was the sound of the whispering breeze and the waves kissing the rocks below. Right above, there was a spectacle of stars.

Three twirled one of the white lilies between his fingers, his cap laid next to where he sat. As expected like an old friend, the wind blew through his ponytail that was tied with a long white ribbon. A finger delicately trailed on its petals, his face in utter turmoil and loss.

“SMG3, are you sure you’re up to this?”

Four was the one who brought him to this place. Three had a nightmare one time and was brought here to help with his nerves. Ever since then, this has been their secret spot. At least, it used to be theirs. Now, it all belongs to Three.

“My partner is gone, Gary. If I can avenge him by killing Horus, then I won’t regret anything.”

The goo, “Horus” was the name the Dark Web lab gave, was the one who took SMG4 away from him. Three could put the rest of the blame onto Mr Puzzles. Or Winston, whatever his damn name is. Perhaps, in another timeline, he would’ve given Mr Puzzles a chance to redeem himself. Three used to be like him, after all. But to go this far, this has to end. He has to end it.

He had contacted Gary for a favor, to bring in the best of the best of his inventory for his friends to defend with. With the material strong enough to withstand Horus, they’ll be fine. However, there was a doubt, lingering in the back of his mind. One he wasn’t willing to show to the Crew.

SMG3: “SMG4, if you’re still in there somehow, show me a sign. And I won’t shoot, I promise.”

He let the wind take the lily from his hand and watched until it flew far, far away. After putting on his cap that hid his ponytail, he got up and walked back into the Showgrounds. The Crew needed a leader for tomorrow, after all.

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

His pink eyes stared above, fascinated by the stars shining ever so brightly. You get tired the same old red tentacles roaming around in this pit. Not that what was left of Peach’s castle helped his boredom either. But the stars, he didn’t know why he was so captivated by them.

Horus supposed this was the consequences of waiting in one place.

Suddenly, he spotted some movement and narrowed his eyes, trying to make out what the object was. Though it was impossible, he thought it might’ve been a falling star. It didn’t seem to present any threat. He curiously waited until he was able to catch it. It was a white lily. His eyes flashed blue.

SMG4?: “…Three?”

But he shook his head and dropped the lily, eyes returning to pink. No, he needs to focus on what’s important. The host must live.

.

.

.

[ END OF PART 2 - PART ONE ]

That's right, my dear fellows, this was part 2 of Concept #5 all along [*insert villain laugh here*]

[karereiko]

Hello, everyone from Yuumori fandom.

Guess what, because of Concert that will be held in July all parts of Moriarty the Patriot Musical (op1-op5) are available to rent and watch online. With my Morimu fanarts or other talks about it I often get asked where you can watch it, often my answer is that you have to buy DVD or Bluray to watch this wonderful adaptation of Moriarty the Patriot manga. I know it's a big cost and hard to get for some so Streaming like this is a great opportunity to watch Morimu.

Official twitter posted few days ago about this possibility and here is the post with all information about it:

1600 yen is great amount to check if you will like it and wach it because I think it's worth any money, director who made morimu clearly loves manga, he treats source material with care and even makes it batter at some times, there is also a lot less cuts than in anime, like a lot. May be little spoiler or not, but Baskerville arc is there and Durham date too, as well as many Sherlock and John stuff that was cut in anime, some things from Moran arc etc. this is already big selling factor, right?

Actors are amazing and they love and care for characters they play. I wasn't into any actor adaptations before Morimu, I was ok with musicals but not caring too much about them and Morimu sold me since first part and it only got better and better each part even if you think that's not possible. Songs are there to make emotions and moments deeper or to have real fun with plot they show, they are not there just for song to be there. So yes high recommendation for you all to check Morimu if you didn't saw it yet. The most amazing thing is that you don't need VPN to buy those streams.

I was going to write about this few days ago and was busy, good I didn't because I talked with friends in Yuumori fandom who knows morimu and we were troubled to recommend this stream to people who doesn't understand Japanese. Morimu is faithful adaptation so almost like 70% lines comes from manga and you should understand what's going on if you read manga. Still, with subs it's a lot easier.

Kana did amazing job in creating English translation for Morimu Op1-Op4 at this point, all who bought DVD/Bluray versions of Morimu are using those subs and if you decide to buy own copy after seeing stream then those subs works great with DVD/Bluray versions.

So we talked over the stream matter and from what we checked with this plugin to Chrome it's possible to play subs with Morimu stream after you rent it (It works only with Chrome but if you know other program like this you can try it on different browsers, we only checked Chrome and this plugin) :

The only matter is that Kana saved subtitles in .ass file format, but you can easily format them to .srt file format that this plugin plays with this site:

You just open subtitle file and save it as srt, and open it with plugin to your Morimu stream. If you will have any more problems with subs them write me a message and I will try to help as soon as work let's me.

I think this is the easiest option that creators gave us now to watch Morimu, it was never so easy to buy or rent it until now, you had to use crazy VPN programs and other stuff to just check on it. So this is best option since for sure it won't last forever. Such promotional streamings are only around when new part is coming up, currently Concert I mentioned.

So for other things I wanna to say. If you get your copy of Morimu then please don't share it, don't post it to any social sites. Company that makes Morimu is quite strict with that matter and they do search who uploads those musicals and strikes them down/ deletes files even on places like google drive. Even without it, it's a matter of love for Moriarty the patriot. As much as fandom wants more people to watch those musicals, any piracy might destroy our chances to get Op6, possibilities for future streams and other stuff. Currently with Op5 we reached end of Final Problem arc and there is hope that maybe one day New York arc will be done in op6. Any piracy, sharing and messy stuff might destroy such chance, so please if you hold dear MTP then respect those rules. Watching streams with your friends in closed groups after you buy it isn't bad but please hold from any public sharing (they would be taken down anyway, but it would still put us fans in very bad light).

I know end of this post was not nice but it had to be told. I hope this possibility will help you see Morimu and fall in love with it like I did. I would recommend at least seeing OP1 and OP2, it should hook you and OP3 is where everything hits even more than op1-2, more hits from songs, more hits from sherliam stuff.

Hope to see you in Morimu cult :D... ehem... fandom. May you have "wind" (for some Great Detective) in your heart like William....

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Jay Kuo at The Status Kuo:

There’s a strange phenomenon occurring with the terminally online right. Ever since Vice President Kamala Harris announced that Gov. Tim Walz would be her running mate, many of the right have acted with fury. They’ve attempted to “Swift Boat” his 24-year service record in the Army National Guard. They’ve called him a racist for talking about “white guy tacos.” And they’ve dredged up a nearly 30-year old DUI—for which he took accountability and after which he stopped drinking altogether—to prove he’s somehow not so perfect a role model.

What they haven’t been able to do is make any of this stick. And yet, Walz continues to draw fire, which could otherwise have been directed at Harris. In other words, Walz is turning out to be a shrewd pick. At net 11 points positive favorability in polls, Walz is immensely more popular than his counterpart on the GOP ticket, JD Vance, who is underwater by nine. And as they continue to rail against him, the right keeps making his fundamental point about them: They are just really weird. In today’s piece, I explore some theories about why Walz brings out the worst impulses of the right just by being who he is. Then I’ll lay down some political tarot cards and prognosticate about where I think this leads.

Politico Uno Reverse

By most identity measures, Walz should be one of the MAGA right. He’s a midwestern white dude in his late 50s. He loves to hunt and is a sharpshooter. He served for decades in the military and achieved the highest enlisted rank of Command Sergeant Major. He was a football coach who helped lead his team to the state championship. And yet, despite all these identity markings, Walz in an unabashed progressive. He is for reproductive rights and an ally and protector of gay teens. And there isn’t a bigoted bone in his body. It’s as if when Harris picked him, she played, as writer Anna Gifty Opoku-Agyeman succinctly described it, a “political uno reverse.” The Walz card threw it right back at them, as if to say, “I’m a guy just like you, but without any of the weird baggage.” The MAGA GOP’s base is supposed to include white guys like Walz. But here is living evidence that they don’t have all of them or the best of them. That’s why they’re so eager to discredit him, because if they don’t, as psychologist Julie Hotard notes, then Walz will stand instead as a model of what is possible. On many levels, an appealing, white, male Democrat is a far bigger threat to their sense of identity than even a biracial woman candidate for president.

[...]

Attacking Mr. Nice Guy

For the past two decades, the GOP has shifted markedly toward being a party of cruelty, of “owning” the libs and drinking their tears, and of being as unpleasant and in-your-face as they can be. That kind of behavior has been rewarded with appearances on Fox and other right wing media, fundraising dollars from the MAGA base, and a spot at the side or in the tweets of the ex-president himself. As author Patrick S. Tomlinson observed, Walz represents what shouldn’t be an extraordinary notion: that you can be a nice guy, supportive of women, embracing of gay people, and still be all the coded masculine ideals of soldier, football coach, hunter and father that the MAGA right believed it had a lock on. Plus, you can be all those things without ever asking weird questions about menstrual cycles, chromosomes and genitalia. The right even tried to make a big deal about Walz’s efforts as governor to ensure free tampons were available to girls in school. Rumors circulated that schools had been required to also put tampons in boys’ bathrooms, but those claims turned out to be untrue, while demonstrating how off kilter the right becomes over sexuality and gender. The “Tampon Tim” moniker didn’t stick. On the contrary, there are probably many moms and dads grateful for a governor like Walz who is thinking about their daughters’ needs.

Jay Kuo explains the real reason why the right is being driven crazy by Tim Walz: The fact that he has a profile that would typify a MAGA voter (football coach, military service, loves to hunt) yet is a progressive white dude (solid LGBTQ+ rights ally before it became fashionable among Democrats).

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for giving a friend tickets to a concert that I originally bought for a different friend?

This kind of petty drama tbh but my friends are divided over this whole thing and I worry that the way I acted was wrong.

I (16) bought 4 tickets to a concert that I really wanted to see, intending to ask my friends to go with me for my birthday. Because I was the one who wanted to go, and I know none of my friends are super into this artist, I thought it was only fair that I bought the tickets. They were like £70 each and I spent some of the money I got as gifts to buy them.

I asked 1 friend who has kind of been my on and off best friend for the past 4 years, we'll call her E, to go with m. She asked if we could also invite someone she's friends with, who I don't know that well- let's call her O. I wasn't super happy with the idea but I really wanted E to come and I thought maybe it could be a good way to get to know O more. The asked a few of other friends if they wanted the last ticket but they were either busy or didn't know if they would be allowed (the concert was happening in another city) so the last ticket wasn't claimed for a while.

The week of the concert arrived and I ended up in hospital because I dislocated my knee. I was told I probably shouldn't go to a concert because I should be on rest for a few days. I was pretty upset but there wasn't really anything I could do about it. I let E know I couldn't go anymore and that I was just gonna post the tickets for sale online. I told her she could buy hers if she still wanted to go. She didn't reply so I had a feeling she was pissed about it. On the day of the concert, the tickets hadn't been bought. I was home from school all day but a few of my friends came by after to see how I was doing.

This is when I learned that E had told everyone that I had given her all four tickets and that she had told two guys from the year above that they could have my ticket and the spare one for free if they gave her and O a ride to the concert. I tried calling E but she didn't pick up or reply to texts. I'll admit I was kind of angry. The girls who came to see me after school said they would buy the tickets from me and go to the concert if the tickets were still available. So I sold them the tickets for £50 each (that was all the had on them at the time and I was fine with getting at least some of the money back versus giving them to E and some random people for free) and they went to the concert.

A few hours before the concert started, E showed up at my house and asked for the tickets. I told her I had sold them to some other friends and she kicked OFF. She said I had given her at least her and O's tickets as a gift and that I couldn't just take that back. She had the guy from the year above come up to my house and ask where the tickets were too, though he seemed confused about the whole thing and was pretty understanding when I said I had bought them for my birthday but got injured so I decided to sell them. Eventually my mum had to ask them to leave because E was just yelling at me, saying that I was a shitty friend, and I was pretty upset.

Things have been so tense in school since the concert. Some of my friends don't believe that I never promised E all of the tickets after I got injured, so they're really mad at me and the friends who went to the concert. The whole thing is really awkward and I'm starting to feel like maybe it was an asshole move on my part. I don't know. E basically hasn't spoken to me since. I knew she had made plans with the tickets so I guess it was bad of me to sell the tickets to those other friends. I just feel like she shouldn't have assumed I would give them all away to her for free? Especially when I told her ahead of time that she could buy the tickets, otherwise I was gonna try selling them. She never replied to let me know she wanted them. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[effinbirds]

Last 2024 appearances, plus online store changes

Howdy, bird friends.

I'll be appearing in Madison WI, Cincinnati OH, Toronto ON, Minneapolis MN, and New York City, NY to close out my 2024 tour. Come see me, get your 2025 calendars (I'll write mean things on your birthday), and grab some Effin' Birds swag that will no longer be sold in my online store. (And if you would like me to show up to your local event, tell the show how much you'd like to see me there -- that's far more effective than me telling them that they should spring for my plane ticket and hotel room.)

Store Changes

I shut down my Canadian shipping point earlier this year, and I'll be shutting down the one in the US when the inventory is gone. And some of it is moving very fast, so don't miss out.

I'll still have an online store, but it will be only on-demand items like mugs, t-shirts and prints. Things that I have to manufacture in bulk like my Hawaiian shirts, enamel pins, and trading cards will now only be available at my personal appearances. They were just too expensive to warehouse and ship.

So it's an online last call for these beauties! Grab them while you can.