#no im not but why AM I NOT WHAT THE FUCK i should be fine i feel so fundamentally stupid so helplessly idiotic and no one can say anything

[baileysturnz]

𝙵𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍? ❥ᴥఌ

𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 1 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 2 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 3 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 4 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 5 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 6 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 7

𓂸 𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩...

𝖬𝖺𝗍𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖠𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖽𝗁𝗈𝗈𝖽 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗎𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗅 𝖠𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝖺 𝖿𝖺𝗆𝗂𝗅𝗒 𝗍𝗋𝖺𝗀𝖾𝖽𝗒 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁 𝗍𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝖺𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍. 𝖳𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗌𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗌 𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄 3 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗌 𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗎𝗉 𝗅𝗂𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝗋𝗂𝗉𝗅𝖾𝗍𝗌 𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾.

𑁍𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖺, 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗎𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍 (𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗈𝗇𝖾), 𝖿𝗎𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍, 𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖽𝗁𝗈𝗈𝖽 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌, 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝖿 𝖺𝗌𝗌, 𝗉𝖾𝗍 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗌 (𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭, 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵, 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺..), english is not my first language

𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚋𝚢: @bernardsbendystraws 𝚝𝚢 𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚎𝚗!

𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖼𝗄 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗆𝗒 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝗅𝗎𝗋𝖻𝗌☽

ఌ❥

"Morning Ally” says Chris hugging me. “Morning” I say hugging him back.

“Look I’m sorry about what I said about you and Matt”. “No it’s fine ”. I say facing Nick. “And you, what you said earlier was it true?”.

“What? That Matt fucked you, how should I know? You were the ones who did it”. Nick says angry and I laugh. “Not that Nick and we didn’t have sex”. “Well what other thing”. Nick says more happily. ”That Matt liked me. Is that true?”. I say sitting down in one of the chairs on the kitchen table.

“Oh that, well yes but you can’t tell Matt I told you it was a secret”. “Yeah no shit dumbass” Chris says to Nick. “God, since when?” I ask. “Since we were kids, after the funeral and we never saw each other again, Matt couldn’t stop talking or thinking of you” Nick took a pause and then proceeded. “He would ask mom. Where is she going to come back? Every day until we got to sophomore year, we saw you at the mall with your dad but if we would’ve approached you Matt thought your dad would do something bad”. “Oh my god”

I get interrupted by Matt coming to the kitchen. Clothe less with one towel around his waist and wet hair. Fuck I can’t stare again. “Oh my god what?”.Matt says “Nothing just this lemonade” Chris says trying to cover it up. “Um okay? Anyways im changing, what do we want to do today?” Matt says drying his hair with another towel. Shit, I’m dead by now with all this, and the fact that he likes me? Well hopefully. “I don’t know. What do you guys suggest?”. I say looking at Nick and Chris and eating my breakfast. “We could go shopping, or top golf?”. Nick says.”Yes I love top golf!” Chris says. “You’re fucking terrible at it”. Matt says going into his room. “Shut up”. Chris says. Matt leaves the room and I ask Nick.

“Hey where am I going to shower?”. “Matt’s bathroom”. He replies pointing at his bathroom. “Oh sure”. I say going in the bathroom. I enter and close the door, it’s a pretty simple bathroom, shower, sink, toilet, and funny but cute enough portraits of bears. Wh- Why-. I’m not even going to ask. I take off my clothes and go in the shower.

I realize I don’t have my face wash, so I grab a towel put it around my body and then go to Matt’s room were is my bag and things. I walk into Matt’s room and he is fully clothed, baggy jeans, black shirt and a hat. Matt’s face goes pale as I walk in with only a towel.

“Oh sorry” I say. “No it’s fine. What do you need?”. “My face wash”. “Oh do you need anything else”. “Umm I think I saw body wash in there”. “That’s not body wash”. Matt says laughing. “Then what is it?”. “It’s nothing”. “Matt… what is it?”. “It’s nothing really”. He says as he sees me run to his bathroom in the towel grabbing the supposed body wash. I get to the shower and Matt gets in too, trying to take the container out of my hand.

“Women’s pink rose shea butter”. I say as I read out loud. I burst out laughing. “Alright it isn’t funny!” Matt says taking the container out of my hand. “It’s so funny you know it”. “I guess it’s a bit funny”. We both laugh and remind you we’re still in the shower me with only a towel. “Well I better get going”. Matt says stepping out the shower. “Yeah, ima be ready in a minute”. “Don’t take too long”. Matt says walking out. I shower with his, Women’s pink rose shea butter, it was actually really buttery. I get out of the shower and wrap my towel around myself.

シఌ❥

𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗊𝗎𝖾𝖾𝗇𝗌

𝘣𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘺❥シ

a/n: hey yall this is part 6 i rlly hope yall have liked this series so far and were only fucking starting 😭

ty soo much for reading love yall

[nabaath-areng]

Sometimes I think to myself "actually maybe I'm exaggerating the terror I felt from being stalked", but then I remember that the person in question followed me and waited for me outside my school every day, tracked me down on every website I'd spent even the slightest time on, left physical letters in my mailbox, sent creepy as hell novel length messages on a near daily basis on FB. And then when I was living abroad and I answered the phone I told the caller to text me cause I couldn't hear, after which I had to read "I was saying that you would probably be VERY scared if you knew who's calling... hehe" with my own damn fucking eyes...

And then I'm like yknow what nevermind!!!! the fact that I'm still terrified of being perceived and seen in public not just IRL but also FFXIV might be understandable actually!!!

[hauntingblue]

ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!

MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!

Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao

[simcardiac-arrested]

can we talk about no way back. hi . Hello ! i want to talk about this (-1 HP) drawing (-1 HP) that you've made (-1 HP)(-1 HP)(-1 HP)

Hi. um. what if the cracks started showing

[wish-i-were-heather]

can i just say im absolutely fucking terrified for the election its not even funny

[definitelynotnia]

im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

[mybreadsmybutters]

i actually am like. reasonably extroverted. i just also kind of want to kill myself anytime somebody perceives me as a woman which makes doing literally anything feel like navigating the minefield of “is this dear friend who i’ve known for years who i’m not out to going to unintentionally and innocently say something that’s going to make me spiral for the next three days”. ALL of which could be avoided if i simply Was Out to people however if One (1) singular more person i know and care about says some truly insane bizarre and weird bullshit after i come out the way EVERY single person i have ever come out to in person in the HISTORY of my ENTIRE life has i am genuinely worried im going to snap in a way that will finally force them to put me in the psych ward

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[seventh-district]

sighs and collapses and disintegrates into the wind

[altruistic-meme]

why am i sad!!!!!!! where did it come from!!!!!!!!

[phagodyke]

kind of annoys me sometimes how I can happily listen to my roommate explain the entire plot of whatever she's currently into but when it comes to my interests she can only listen for a few mins before wordlessly walking out of the room

[tricksteroftheheart]

the 'severe regret' fic is going to make me twist.

talking about ships in the tags. cw astro x sprout and cosmo x dandy (not spoken about positively.)

[kavehayati]

Man I just give up.

[brainrot-stitch]

Ough

[the-brainrot-central]

Writing over 30,000 words worth of content for a fic only to realize it’s all pointless because you have no interest in it anymore and you were never gonna finish it anyway….

What even is The Point anymore

[girlivealwaysbean]

sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg