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baileysturnz · 26 days ago

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𝒮𝓌ℯ𝒶𝓉ℯ𝓇 𝒲ℯ𝒶𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓇⁂✧

✵ᴍᴇssʏ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ x ᴘᴏᴘᴜʟᴀʀ!ᴍᴀᴛᴛ✵

๛𝑖𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ...

⇝𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗍𝗌 𝗌𝗉𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗇𝗈𝗈𝗇 𝖺𝗍 𝗆𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗒!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾.

⚘ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: 𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝗌𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋, 𝗅𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗎𝖺𝗀𝖾, 𝗌𝗎𝗀𝗀𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾, 𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅, 𝖼𝗎𝗍𝖾 𝖺𝖿 𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗍, 𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗎𝖾𝗌, 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖺 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗀𝗈𝗈𝖽

★𝒸ℴ𝓃𝓉ℯ𝓍𝓉★ 𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗅𝗂𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗌' 𝟧 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗈𝗅𝖽 𝗌𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋, 𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝗆𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗒!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋, 𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝖽𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗄𝖾𝖾𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗍 𝖺 𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗋𝖾𝗍.

⇝ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ⇜

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @sturniolo1trips @v1ntag3v1nyldaydr3ams @blushsturns @xoxojoao @sheluvsthesturniolos

a friday night. fuck yes

i hated going to school.

hiding what i had with matt and everybody calling me weird an messy

people dont like messy, i reminded myself

i got home and started cooking dinner with the few things i had for amelie and me.

a few eggs and some bread. that’ll do

“iri!” amelie calls from her room.

my 5 year old sister loves to invent crazy nicknames for me.

“yes,lee.” i call from the kitchen

“is matt coming?” she asks, going out of her room with our cat -fred- in her hands.

“yeah, ill call him.”

amelie loves having matt over. he plays dress up with her and watches movies with both of us, he brings her candies and makes us feel loved, which both of our useless parents failed to do.

i grab my phone and call matt, ofcourse he answers on the first ring.

“hey baby, how are you?”

“im good, amelie wants you to come by, can you?”

“are you sure its only amelie who wants me there, sweetheart?”

“yes.” i say giggling

“fucking liar.”

i laughed and he stayed quiet.

“you could never say no to amelie.” i say at the phone and i pass it to lee and she talks to him.

“hii matt.” she says

“hi lee, i heard you wanted me to go to your house?”

“yess, but i know iri wants you here more.” i gasp and she laughs with matt.

“now say goodbye lee youve said enough.”

“okay, bye matt, see youu.” she says and i take her off the phone

“you coming?”

silence

“pleaseee.”

“be there in five.” he said.

i finished making the eggs and toast for us and set it on the messy, full of shit table.

i was too lazy to clean all of that up so we started eating in our tiny living room.

amelie put on barbie and started eating.

the doorbell rang and i stood up to open the door.

as i opened i saw matt, with two bouquets.

“hey baby.” he said smilling and handing me one of the bouquets.

i hugged him immediately, not giving him a chance to speak.

“i love you.” i said, with my face in his chest.

“i love you more, sweetheart.” he said kissing my forehead.

“okay, i need to say hi to lee, baby.” he said tilting my chin up with his fingers to kiss me.

“eww!!” amelie said from her spot in the couch.

we laughed and matt moved on to say hi to lee.

“you want some food, matt?” i said from the kitchen to start organizing it.

“no, thanks. actually i brought you guys some noodles, i know theyre youre favorite.” he says pointing at me.

“thank youu, you didnt have to.” i say sitting down on the couch while matt sets up our food.

we ate with barbie playing again. but matt didnt seem to bother, he liked seeing amelie happy.

later, when it was time for amelie’s bedtime, matt read her a bedtime story.

we were in here tiny room, me on his lap in a toddler chair.

matt had one hand holding the book, and the other tracing my thigh.

“and the teddy bear fell alseep in her hands, the end.” he finished.

“shes asleep.” i said.

we went over to my bedroom, kissing me.

on the way there we managed to bump into a door and a table.

my hips bumped against the table. matt stopped kissing me

“shit sorry.” he said

“you know what?” he said

without any warning he grabbed my thighs and put them around his waist.

i shrieked.

“matt!” we both laughed and he carried me to my room, where he made love to me all night.

in the morning..

matt woke up earlier than me.

i woke up to see him carrying a tray with coffee, eggs, and my favorite waffles.

“matt, you didnt have to do this.” i say standing up.

i was still naked from the night we had, so i used the sheets to cover myself.

“yes i did.” he responded and set the tray on my legs for me to start eating.

“did you make it?” i asked already taking a bit of the waffle.

“the coffee and egg, i did but i ordered the waffle from ihop.” matt said sitting down beside me, on the bed.

“thank you, i love you matt.” i said taking a sip of my delicious coffee.

“i love you more.” he said while he started to kiss my neck and behind my ear.

“iri, matt!” amelie entered the room

“shit!” matt said as he covered his boxers and my bare chest with the sheets.

“hey lee!” i said trying to cover it up.

“can i lay there with you?” she said.

i looked at matt, and he smiled.

“yes angel, but how about you hide and i search for you instead, and if you get caught we’ll bring you here.” matt invented the whole things so fast and was talking to my sister so enthusiastically, like it was so easy.

“yay! i’ll go hide.” lee hurried out of the room and i let out a breathe of air.

“thank you.” i said looking at him, and he smiled and gave me a quick kiss before standing up.

“no really, youre always here when i need you.” i said grabbing his wrist gently and smiling

This couldnt get fucking better, i was so happy.

“thank you, pretty girl.” he simply said that, put in his shirt and left to play hide and seek with amelie.

i finished my breakfast and put on my underwear and matt’s shirt, when i heard giggles from the other side of the door

matt and amelie bursted in, amelie laughing, matf holding her in airplane more and dove straight to my bed.

i jumped in next, and between the laughter, the kisses and the feelings, i realized it could get better, i was the happiest girl in the entire world.

and the truth was, me and matt were both messy but i liked this,

my fucked up little family

i didnt give a fuck who liked me or not, i only cared about them. and how he gave me everything i wanted.

𝓁ℴ𝓋ℯ 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝓆𝓊ℯℯ𝓃𝓈

𝖻𝖺𝗂𝗅𝖾𝗒☆

a/n: I HOPE YALL LOVE THIS!!! i really enjoyed writing it. kinda been in a writers block and kinda bad in general soooo yeah! i love yall so so much, AND if yall have requests lmk!!!

TO THE PERSON WHO SAID I SHOULD DO LACY AS HER NAME, im so so sorry…😭

i will use that name for another fic, love you tho🙃😘

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baileysturnz · 26 days ago

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me every-fucking-day

this edit the only thing i could think about while taking my test but i passed

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo tumblr #sturniolo triplets #kdsturn #sturniolo

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baileysturnz · 26 days ago

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HEY YALL!!

im debating if i should name messy!reader.

here are some names i have been thinking about:

(lmk if you guys dont fw with these at all or dont want me to name her)

-ivy

-iris

-brinlee

-angel

-lacy

-charlie

-florence

-adelaine

-y/n

-no name 🙃

LMK!!!! 😘😘

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #names

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baileysturnz · 27 days ago

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ᴍᴇssʏ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ x ᴘᴏᴘᴜʟᴀʀ!ᴍᴀᴛᴛ ☆

✩ 𝓂ℯ𝓈𝓈𝓎!𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹ℯ𝓇.... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗀𝗈 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗋𝖾𝗌 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗍

✩ 𝓂ℯ𝓈𝓈𝓎!𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹ℯ𝓇.... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗐𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗌 𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗍'𝗌 𝗁𝗈𝗈𝖽𝗂𝖾𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗅 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝖽𝖺𝗒

✩ 𝓂ℯ𝓈𝓈𝓎!𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹ℯ𝓇.... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗂𝗌 𝖺 𝖼𝖺𝗍 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋

✩ 𝓂ℯ𝓈𝓈𝓎!𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹ℯ𝓇.... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝖺 𝖼𝖺𝗍 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾𝖽 𝖿𝗋𝖾𝖽

✩ 𝓂ℯ𝓈𝓈𝓎!𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹ℯ𝓇.... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗍 𝖻𝗎𝗒𝗌 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗌𝗍𝗎𝖿𝖿𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝗂𝗆𝖺𝗅𝗌

✩ 𝓂ℯ𝓈𝓈𝓎!𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹ℯ𝓇.... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄𝗌 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝖽𝖺𝗒 𝖾𝖺𝖼𝗁 𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗄 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗋𝖺𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗅𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝖽𝖺𝖽 𝖺𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗈𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗋

✩ 𝓂ℯ𝓈𝓈𝓎!𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹ℯ𝓇.... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝖺 𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝗌𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗅𝗂𝖾

✩ 𝓂ℯ𝓈𝓈𝓎!𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹ℯ𝓇.... 𝗂𝗌 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖽𝖺𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍𝖾𝗋

✩ 𝓂ℯ𝓈𝓈𝓎!𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹ℯ𝓇.... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗏𝖾𝗍

✩ 𝓂ℯ𝓈𝓈𝓎!𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹ℯ𝓇.... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒 𝖿𝗂𝖻𝖾𝗋 𝗈𝖿 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀

✧ 𝑝𝑜𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑟!𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝗌𝖾𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗆𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗒!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗂𝗇 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗋𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗎𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗐𝖾𝖺𝗋

✧ 𝑝𝑜𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑟!𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝗐𝖺𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗎𝗉 𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗒!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝖺𝗅𝗆𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝖽𝖺𝗒

✧ 𝑝𝑜𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑟!𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗌𝗇𝖾𝖺𝗄𝗌 𝗂𝗇 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗋𝗈𝗈𝗆

✧ 𝑝𝑜𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑟!𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗅𝗂𝖾 (𝗆𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗒!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋'𝗌 𝗅𝗂𝗅 𝗌𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋)

✧ 𝑝𝑜𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑟!𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗀𝗈 𝗈𝗇 𝖺 𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖾 𝗇𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖽𝗋𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗅

✧ 𝑝𝑜𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑟!𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗆𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗒!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗍𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍, 𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗍𝗍𝗒 𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗅

✧ 𝑝𝑜𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑟!𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗆𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗒 𝗌𝗁𝖾 𝗂𝗌

✧ 𝑝𝑜𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑟!𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝖾𝖾𝗌 𝗆𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗒!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗂𝗇 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗃𝖾𝗋𝗌𝖾𝗒

✧ 𝑝𝑜𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑟!𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗆𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗒!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑

✧ 𝑝𝑜𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑟!𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡... 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗅 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒 𝖿𝗂𝖻𝖾𝗋 𝗈𝖿 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀

𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑒𝑛𝑠

𝑏𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑦 ★⁂

a/n: hey yall! 😭ive been super inactive bcs ive been a little bit busy, and kinda bad mentally butttttt yeah! i love yall so so much if you guys want oneshots with this au, lmk🫶🏼

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baileysturnz · 28 days ago

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ITS GIVINGGGGGGGG

Fire & Desire Moodboard ❤️‍🔥

#snowy speaks #fire & desire #snowys series #matt stuniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo series #matt sturniolo

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baileysturnz · 28 days ago

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OMGGG

Fire & Desire - Matt Sturniolo Part 24

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24

Pairing: Y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Summary: Y/n has always clashed with Matt. Despite working for Chris’s clothing brand and being close with Nick, her relationship with Matt has always been tense at best. While being forced to be around each other more, their animosity turns into something deeper. Can they overcome their differences, or will their fiery emotions tear them apart?

Warnings: Angst, tension, feeling of betrayal

After I booked the flight, I burst into tears.

Everything from the last few days hits me all at once. The betrayal, the anger, the exhaustion of holding myself together when all I’ve wanted to do is fall apart. I pull my hands over my face, my shoulders shaking as I let out a broken cry.

I don’t know how long I sit like that, curled up on the edge of the bed, drowning in emotions I don’t have the energy to sort through. But then there’s a knock on the door.

I stiffen, holding my breath.

No.

Not now.

I can’t do this again.

"Matt, I don’t want to talk." I call out, my voice strong but shaky.

The door opens anyway.

But it’s not Matt.

It’s Nick.

I blink up at him through blurry vision, quickly wiping at my damp cheeks. He doesn’t say anything at first, just watches me with concern, his brows drawn together.

"Are you okay?" he asks finally, his voice softer than I expect.

I exhale, shaking my head. "No" I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. "I’m leaving in the morning."

Nick stands there, frozen, his demeanour shifting from concern to pure shock. "What do you mean?" he asks, sounding almost confused.

I swallow hard, before taking a deep breath. "I booked a flight home" I say quietly. "Early tomorrow morning."

His brows furrow. "You’re serious?"

I nod, wiping at my face. "I can’t sit here and take it anymore Nick." My voice shakes, but I push through. "I genuinely think I’m in love with Matt, and seeing him with someone else..it kills me. Every time. It’s like this constant, suffocating pain, and I just.. I need space. And I won’t get that until I leave here."

Nick watches me carefully, his face softening as the reality of my words sinks in.

After a moment, he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "I get it" he says, his voice quieter now. "I really do."

His understanding almost breaks me all over again, because a part of me expected him to insist I stay. But he doesn’t. He just nods, accepting it.

Nick exhales, shaking his head slightly. “I just want you to know, I think you’re totally valid for feeling this way.” His voice is reassuring. “Anyone with eyes could see how much you care and feel about him. And I think, deep down, he feels the same way about you too. He just.. he’s an idiot.”

I let out a broken laugh, sniffing. “Yeah tell me something I don’t know.”

Nick gives me a small smile but then turns serious again. “You don’t deserve this, Y/n. Any of it. You’ve put up with so much, and honestly? If leaving is what you need to do, then I respect it. You gotta do what’s best for you.”

His words hit something deep in my chest, and I nod, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. “I just can’t keep putting myself through this, I know it's only 4 more days, but I can't bare it.” I whisper.

Nick nods like he completely understands. “I get it.” He pauses for a second before tilting his head toward my half packed suitcase. “You want some help?”

I hesitate for a moment, then nod. “Yeah. That would be nice.”

Without another word, Nick starts helping me fold my clothes, working in silence beside me. It’s not awkward or forced, just quiet, comforting.

Nick finishes folding one of my dresses and places it neatly in my suitcase before glancing at me. His expression is hesitant, like he’s debating whether to say something.

“Hey..” he starts softly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I know you probably just want to be alone, but.. would it be okay if I stayed in here tonight?”

I blink at him, caught off guard. “You don’t have to do that, Nick.”

“I know” he says quickly. “I just.. I don’t want you to be alone right now.” He exhales, his voice quieter now. “And I would like to spend some time with you before you go..”

His words hit me in a way I didn't expect. The past few days have been hell, and right now, the idea of lying in bed alone, spiraling in my thoughts, seems unbearable.

“Yeah” I whisper. “I’d like that.”

Nick gives me a small, relieved smile and nods. “Alright. Let me just grab a few things.”

He steps out of the room for a moment, and I sit on the edge of the bed, my hands gripping the sheets as I try to ground myself again. But when Nick returns, he doesn’t say anything, he just sets his things down and climbs onto the other side of the bed, careful to give me space.

For a long moment, neither of us speak. We just lie there, staring at the ceiling.

“Thank you.” I murmur eventually.

Nick turns his head slightly toward me. “For what?”

“For being here.”

“Always.”

And with that, we both turn over and go to sleep.

The staggering sound of my alarm pulls me out of sleep early the next morning, and for a moment, I forget where I am. But the feeling in my chest quickly reminds me. I take a deep breath before slipping out of bed as quietly as I can.

Nick is still asleep beside me, I don’t wake him. He’s done enough already, more than he probably realises.

I grab my hoodie from the chair and step out onto the balcony, wrapping my arms around myself as the Hawaiian air takes over me. The view is still breathtaking, the sun rising over the ocean. It looks peaceful, like nothing has changed. But everything has.

I lean against the railing, as I take it all in one last time. This trip was supposed to be fun. A chance to escape, to let loose, to make memories. And I did, I made memories. But not the kind I wanted.

Instead of leaving here with a full heart, I’m leaving with it scattered around this island.

I swallow the lump in my throat trying to push down the ache in my chest. I’m sad that it’s ending like this, that I’m running instead of staying. But what choice do I have? Staying means more pain, more heartbreak. And I’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime.

This place will be a memory soon. A bittersweet one.

I close my eyes, letting the breeze brush against my skin one last time. Then, with a final glance at the horizon, I turn and step back inside. It’s time to go.

Nick stirs in the bed, shifting under the sheets before sitting up. He blinks at me, half awake, but he doesn’t say anything right away. Instead, he gets up and walks over, pulling me into a tight hug without a word.

I close my eyes, sinking into the comfort of it, of him just knowing that I need this right now. No questions, no trying to make me stay, just support.

"You’ll let me know when you get to the airport?" he says against my hair. "And when you land?"

I nod against his chest, my throat too tight to speak.

Nick pulls back slightly, his hands resting on my arms as he looks at me. "Promise?"

"Promise" I whisper.

He exhales, nodding once before stepping back. I can tell he doesn’t want me to go, that he wishes there was something he could say to change my mind. But he understands. And that means everything.

With that, I grab my phone and book an Uber, my fingers shaking slightly as I confirm the ride.

I take one last look around the room, my chest tightening at the realisation that this is really it. Then, I say my goodbyes to Nick and grab my suitcase and walk out of the villa for the last time.

I travel through the airport with my head in the clouds, completely lost in thought. I finally board the plane and settle into my seat by the window. As we take off, I stare out the window as the airport fades away beneath me. Watching as I get further and further away from the island.

Just six hours. Six hours of staring at clouds, trapped with my own thoughts and a situation I haven’t even began to process.

I glance at the screen in front of me at the inflight entertainment menu, but I can’t bring myself to scroll through it. It reminds me too much of the flight over here, of sitting next to Matt, watching 10 Things I Hate About You and laughing at the parts we both knew by heart.

I blink hard, pushing the memory away before it can take hold.

My phone has been on airplane mode since the moment I texted Nick from the airport, telling him I was arrived safely. I haven’t checked it since. Haven’t wanted to. The thought of seeing Matt’s name, or worse, not seeing it at all, makes my chest tighten. Right now, I just want to block it all out.

I shift in my seat, leaning my head against the window. The clouds stretch endlessly outside, a blur of white and blue. I should try to sleep. But I know I won’t. Not with everything still sitting heavy on my chest, unresolved and unfinished.

I feel stupid for the way I thought things would be when I would come home. How excited I was to live with Matt now that there was something between us. Who knows, maybe Christina can move in instead.

I landed in LA just before 4pm. It feels strange being back, without the boys, just me. As I wait at baggage claim, I’m surrounded by people, but feel so alone. I stare at everyone, and wonder how their trips went. If anything could be worse than mine. I grab my suitcase, and start weaving through the crowds to make my way outside to find a taxi.

There's one thing that keeps playing on my mind:

I have no idea what my life looks like now.

Matt and I will probably never speak again.

I don’t know if this will affect my job with Chris.

But one thing’s for sure, nothing will ever change with Nick.

Which reminds me, I need to text him.

I take my phone off airplane mode, ready to send him a quick message, but before I can type, my phone dings with a notification.

Chris.

"I’m sorry you feel like you had to leave. Ring me when you land."

I stare at the message, my thumb hovering over the screen. But what am I supposed to say back? I don’t feel like having a conversation right now. Not with Chris. Not with anyone. All I know is that I need to get back to the house and figure out what I’m doing, what comes next.

I lock my phone, gripping the handle of my suitcase a little tighter, and step toward the curb. A taxi pulls up, and without hesitation, I slide into the backseat, giving the driver the house address.

I get to the house, unlock the front door, and step inside. The silence is heavy, only becoming more amplified as I stand here alone. It feels weird being here, even weirder than it was before. It feels like nothing’s changed, but everything has. My footsteps echo as I make my way up the stairs, each step dragging a little more weight behind it.

When I reach the top, I pause in front of the entrance to my makeshift room. As soon as I flip the light switch, the reality of it all hits me hard. Nick and Chris didn’t have to do any of this. They didn’t have to rearrange everything to make me feel comfortable, to make me feel like I belonged here.

And yet, they did.

And it almost makes me feel a sense of guilt.

My eyes land on the AC cooler in the corner, the same one Matt had bought me. The sight of it sends a shiver down my spine. It’s like everything in this room is a constant reminder of where I’ve been, of what I’ve lost. Of how everything has changed in the blink of an eye. I feel my chest tighten, my breath growing shallow as the reality sets in.

I can’t live here.

This room, this house. It’s full of memories I don’t want to revisit, full of people I don’t want to face right now.

I start grabbing whatever clothes are still left in my drawers, shoving them into my suitcase as fast as I can. I don’t care about folding them or making them neat. I just need to get out of here. These clothes, these are what I need the most right now, not the memories attached to anything else in this house.

As I toss a few shirts in, my hand brushes against something soft. I pull it out, and it's Matt’s yellow Ralph Lauren jumper. I hold it up in front of me, my fingers tracing the fabric.

I don’t need this. Not anymore.

I walk down the stairs and move toward Matt’s room. The room holds some weird memories, even standing in the doorway makes me feel weird. His things are neatly arranged, the same posters on the walls, the same clutter on the desk. It all feels so distant now.

I sit on the edge of his bed, staring at the walls, not sure what I’m hoping for. I don’t belong here, and yet, there’s this pull, this ache to hold on to something, anything that feels familiar.

I sit there for a minute, thinking about everything, and it feels unbearable. Then, without warning, the sobs come. Soft at first, then louder, until it feels like the whole world is crumbling around me.

I wipe my eyes and glance down at the jumper in my hands, a final piece of him I won’t take with me. Slowly, I place it on the bed, folding it gently as if I’m saying goodbye.

With one last look around the room, I leave. The door closes shut behind me, and as I walk down the hall, I know that I’ve just closed the door on something that’s never coming back.

I walk back upstairs, my suitcase sitting open in the middle of the room. I stare at it for a long moment, trying to figure out where exactly I’m supposed to go. My options are slim, making it harder to think straight.

I take a deep breath, trying to clear my head and come up with some sort of solution, but the more I think, the more everything feels impossible. There’s no clear path, no easy choice. I’m stuck in a place between moving forward and holding on to what’s behind me, caught somewhere in the middle.

I grab my phone, tapping the screen.

7:26pm.

I know there's one person that can help me out. Maybe I need to put my pride aside for a minute and actually try to get some help. I tap out a quick message, simple and to the point.

Can you do me a favour?

a/n : completely forgot to post this last night sorryyyyy

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