#no blacklist tags some of you need to hear this

[kinardgo]

danny ric has a well documented history of shrugging his shoulders and making another funny little quip in the face of dangerous misogyny, and frankly, he'd gargle stale piss for a chance to retain his job with red bull, so the fact that some of you are shocked that he'd come out publicly in support of horner just tells me that his slimy, insidious public image campaign actually somehow works. yes he smiles a lot. he's also been in more sexist podcasts than championship contentions, but whatever. pastel hoodies, yay.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

my mutual, my love dove, my baby girl (gender neutral) we do not share the same tastes, and that is okay. You are responsible for at least one if not more of the filtered tags on my dash. I love you, but I do not love the things that you love. I fully believe that you said something clever and witty and insightful about one of the most deranged derivative pieces of media on earth. I do not know if you actually said something witty and clever because I have the tag blocked. I appreciate your tagging habits that allow me to do this.

Apple of my eye, delight of my heart, you have recently gotten into a new thing. I did my research. I went into the tag. My darling this is the magic of online friendship. Because by God it is bad. And if I knew you in real life I would have to politely smile at a spot just behind your ear whilst you ramble on, but thank God for the tools that allow me to literally filter out your fascinations that I have no interest in.

Sweetheart, I strive to match your meticulous tagging habits that you may do the same to me. You do not need to hear me ramble on about redneck bullshit if you do not wish to. You may ignore my weird art shit with no ill will from me. My lukewarm takes on whatever fandom I've toppled into ass first need not mar your day. The power of the filter makes you a God and you may interact with the version of me that never talks about rocks for hours on end. Admittedly, if you filter out all of it I may be kind of quiet but if that is the version of me you wish to encounter upon the wild plains of this hellsite we call home, all power to you.

And do you know, my beloved, what the best part of all of this is?

We never need to bring it up because not once in a million years will I notice that you haven't interacted with some random genre of posts. Truly we are the masters of our fates. Blacklist that bitch.

[kwanisms]

Kinktober 「10:14」 — j.wonwoo

» seventeen menu | wonwoo menu | kinktober masterlist «

➮ vampire!Wonwoo × fem!Reader wc: 3.8k summary: Y/N has always avoided sex during her period in the past. Not because she found it gross but because her partners did. Wonwoo is different. Wonwoo loves it. Wonwoo also happens to be a vampire so he might be a bit biased. genres/themes/au: angst/fluff/smut; supernatural, horror, thriller; non idol au, monster idol au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, supernatural and horror themes, vampires, mentions of: food consumption, blood & blood consumption (vampire, remember?), periods and menstruation, vampiric powers & abilities; sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! taglist has been moved to reblogs join my taglists! kinktober taglist is closed! Strikethrough means I cannot tag you.  MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL ALSO BE BLOCKED.

a/n: i've already stated in the smut warnings but if blood bothers you, DO NOT READ THIS. if period sex bothers you, DO NOT READ THIS. This is filthy, nasty, and i don't care lol i've done my part to warn those who don't want to see this. to those of you that do read this, i see you and i'm kissing ur forehead. wonwoo is a vampire, blood does no phase him at all. this is for my bestie Sky cause this is her main ult so, enjoy this, my love! as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.

smut warnings: teratophilia (aka monsterfucking), bloodplay (if it makes you uncomfortable, LOOK AWAY. i’m not responsible for your media consumption. I’m warning you now. If anything to do with blood makes you uncomfortable, this fic is not for you!), period sex (again. Look away if you don’t like it.), oral (m receiving, f receiving), fingering (f receiving), unprotected sex (use condoms. Wonwoo doesn’t need to cause this ain’t twilight), use of pet names (darling, baby, etc.), soft dom!Wonwoo, sub!Reader, I think that��s everything but if I missed something, let me know! kinks: Bloodplay + period sex dialogue prompt: ❛❛ Aw darling, I almost believe you. ❜❜

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“Are you sure there isn’t anything else?” your boyfriend asked over the phone. “All I have here are pads, chocolate, sliced pepperonis, and root beer. Do you need a heating pad or some pain relief?”

You let out a soft laugh as you leaned back against your pillows. “No,” you answered. “I have the heating pad and I’ve already taken enough ibuprofen to knock out a child,” you continued. “I just need those things.” Silence fell over you as you adjusted the heating pad that was tucked under your blanket.

“And maybe you,” you added in an undertone. You heard a deep chuckle on the other side of the phone. “Well, let me check out and then once I’m there, I’m all yours, baby,” Wonwoo answered. “Okay, please hurry,” you said as another cramp hit, a sharp pain deep in your abdomen making you wince and whimper in pain.

Wonwoo frowned as he heard you whimper. He hated seeing and hearing you in pain, it made his non beating heart hurt. “Can you open a window?” he asked as he headed towards the self checkout. “Yeah.. I think so. Why?” you asked, confusion in your voice.

“So I can just come in without bothering with the front door,” Wonwoo answered as he started to set his items down, scanning them while holding the phone to his ear. “Jeon Wonwoo, you are not flying into my open window on the twentieth story! You will use the lobby elevator like everyone else,” you scolded. 

Wonwoo held back a laugh as a smirk crossed his face as he deposited his scanned items into a plastic bag. “Unless you want everyone to know you’re a vampire, I suggest you act like a person and walk through the front door like all guests do.” As he finished scanning, he tucked his phone between his ear and shoulder as he fished out his wallet.

“Alright, alright,” he said as he pulled out his card, holding it over the reader until the light blinked and the reader beeped. He slid the card back into his wallet, stuffing it back in his pocket as he grabbed his phone and bag, nodding towards the store attendant and making a move for the exit.

“I promise I will walk through the front door, use the elevator, and walk to your door like every other normal, boring human,” he whispered as he exited the shop onto the sidewalk. “Good,” you replied, sounding pleased. “Let yourself in,” you added quickly. “You know the code.”

The walk to your place was only ten minutes for him from the shop where he’d picked up the items you requested and then some. The thought of flying to your window and entering your apartment that way was even more appealing as he forced himself to walk the same pace as those around him. It would have saved so much time but he did promise.

The elevator ride up was slow but thankfully empty and when he reached your floor, he walked to your door at the end of the hall, punching in the code on the number pad which beeped and he let himself in, opening the door and shutting it behind him.

Your apartment was cool, mimicking the cool temperatures outside over the misty city. He walked further into the apartment after removing his shoes. He walked into the kitchen, setting the bag on the counter and unpacking the things he bought. As he put the bag away, he heard a small whine coming from your room. He walked down to your room in a split second and carefully pushed open the door, peering into the room.

The curtains had been drawn, leaving only a sliver of light coming into the room. The TV was on, some show you weren’t paying attention to playing in the background. On the middle of the bed, wrapped in blankets and surrounded by a small mountain of plushies was a lump which he could correctly assume was you. He let himself into the room, crossing to the edge of your bed and removing his coat which he threw on the chair in the corner.

He gently climbed onto the bed, the movement making your body dip with the mattress.

You turned slowly, looking up at him, only your face visible from a small hole in your blanket burrito. Wonwoo let out a chuckle as he laid down behind you, sliding an arm under your entire body and pulled you back against him. “You feeling okay, sweetheart?” he asked softly.

“I’m fine,” you grumbled but he could tell you felt anything but fine.

“Aw, darling,” he said softly, a hint of amusement to his voice. “I almost believe you.”

After a moment, he felt you shake your head no and he only tightened his grip. “It hurts,” you said in a broken voice. “I know,” he murmured, lifting his head and moving a hand to pull the blanket back to expose your head. “I know it hurts, baby,” he repeated, pressing a kiss to the back of your head. “And you can’t take any more medicine?” You shook your head again.

“I’ve already taken so much. It’s just not working,” you cried softly. Wonwoo grimaced as your body jerked in pain, doubling over. “Let’s get you something to eat,” he murmured, pressing another kiss to the back of your head. “No,” you answered, tucking your head into the blankets. Wonwoo chuckled as he sat up, pulling you into his lap so you were on your back, looking up at him.

“I’m sure you’ll feel better after you eat something,” he said, gently caressing your cheek. “Come on,” he said as he helped you sit up, unwrapping the blankets. You whined as the cool air hit your exposed skin. “You can wrap back up once you get off the bed,” Wonwoo said as he got to his feet, holding your blanket. You scrambled up to join him and he quickly wrapped the blanket around you, enveloping you in its warmth.

“I got all your favorites,” he said as he guided you to the door and down the hall to the living area. You climbed up into one of the stools at the island as he walked into the kitchen, turning on the overhead light. You looked at the spread with wide eyes. “You really went all out,” you said softly.

Wonwoo smiled, walking over to the sink and turning on the faucet to wash his hands. He then moved to open one of your cupboards, grabbing one of your pots, filling it with water and placing it on the stove, turning the burner on. “I was thinking army stew,” he said as he moved to the fridge, peering inside to see what you had, grabbing a package of tiny sausages, a couple eggs, some cheese, and veggies.

You watched as he worked, cutting veggies faster than your eyes could keep up. He added the soup base for the ramen as well as a few other sauce items before adding the sausages, some spam he found in the pantry, fishcake, and the veggies. As those boiled, he cracked the eggs, adding them to a bowl and whisking them with chopsticks.

He added the noodles, cheese and carefully poured the egg mixture in once the noodles softened and placed a lid over it. While it finished cooking, he opened the convenience store tteokbokki, adding the sauce packet and water before placing it in the microwave.

Once everything was done, he moved you to the table, setting up the hotplate before bringing over the pan of stew and setting it down on the hotplate. He finished setting the table, grabbing something to drink and set those down as well before sitting with you. He filled your bowl first before serving himself and you shook your head. 

“You didn’t have to do all this,” you said softly. “I would have been fine with just some convenience store ramen.” Wonwoo smiled as you took a bite, eyes fluttering shut as you enjoyed the taste. “That right there is exactly why I did it,” he said, picking up a piece of spicy rice cake and eating it. “Seeing you happy and enjoying things makes it all worth it.”

After you had your fill and the pan was cleared, you indulged in some chocolate before returning to your room to watch some TV with Wonwoo, curled up into his side. The food had made you feel better but the cramps were back and you kept whining as every contraction made you press your face into your boyfriend’s chest.

Wonwoo kept one arm around you, holding you against him while he watched the TV screen. He wasn’t really paying attention, not when he could hear every little sound of pain you made, felt every time your heart rate kicked up or the jerk of your body as the pain became too unbearable for you.

“You know,” he said softly, rubbing your shoulder soothingly. “Orgasms can help alleviate menstrual cramps.” You lifted your head to look at him through squinted eyes. “I’m just sayin’!” he said with a shrug. You buried your face in his chest again. “Isn’t that, like, gross though?” you asked, your voice muffled. “Is what gross?” Wonwoo asked.

You lifted your head. “Period sex. Aren’t most guys, like, grossed out by that?”

Wonwoo stared at you dumbfounded. Did you really just say that to him of all people?

“Babe,” he said softly. “I don’t know if you know this,” he started. “But I’m a vampire. Blood does not bother me in the slightest.” Your eyes widened comically. “Oh, right,” you said softly. “But like, that much blood? Wouldn’t that send you into a feeding frenzy or something?”

Wonwoo’s laughter resonated around the room as he threw his head back. “I’m not a shark! I’m a vampire,” he replied, chest bouncing as he laughed. “I can control myself a lot more than you think. Vampires aren’t animals. We don’t smell blood and just go feral,” he continued.

Your cheeks burned as he dispelled your assumptions and you suddenly felt very bad about judging him in that regard. “Sorry,” you said softly. Wonwoo pressed a kiss to your forehead. “For what?” he asked. “Unless you’ve dated other vampires, I don’t think that’s something you would rightfully know. I’m not upset, baby. It’s just a silly notion that movies and television have instilled in the populace.”

Silence fell over the two of you, only the sound of the TV playing softly in the background. “I’d like to help,” he said suddenly. “I’d like to help you feel better and if giving you an orgasm helps, I’m not gonna complain.” Your cheeks burned as you processed his words. “Won’t it get messy?” you asked, your voice meek. Wonwoo kissed the top of your head before getting up and disappearing for a moment.

When he returned, it was with a few of your old red towels. Ones you’d stained in the past when dying your hair at home. “I’m sure you won’t mind if these get stained?” he asked. You shook your head, watching him move to set the towels on the bed before he disappeared again, quick as lightning. He returned with a container of wipes which he set on the bed side table.

“Up,” he said as he grabbed the towels. You scrambled up and watched as he placed the towels down, overlapping them. “Put your blanket over there so you don’t get blood on it,” he instructed, pointing to the chair in the corner. You did as he said and then turned back to face the bed. “C’mere,” he said, holding his hand out.

You walked around the bed, taking his hand, letting out a giggle as he pulled you against him, cupping your cheek and pulling you into a soft kiss. “Do you trust me?” he asked softly, lips ghosting over yours. You nodded in response as his hands moved, sliding down to your hips and pulling you towards him as his lips met yours again, tongue swiping over your bottom lip.

Your lips parted, moaning as you felt his tongue slip into your mouth, caressing your own tongue. His hands continued to roam up and down your body, squeezing your sides, the curve of your ass, cupping your chest. You could feel the heat starting to pool in your belly as you felt his semi-hard cock press against your stomach. 

Wonwoo pulled back, breaking the kiss to turn you around to face the bed. His hands fell to your hips, pulling your ass back against his growing erection with a groan. “Get on the bed,” he breathed, lips trailing down your neck to your shoulder. 

You carefully climbed onto the bed, positioning yourself in the middle of the towels as your boyfriend removed his sweater and pants, leaving on his underwear and white tee as he crawled onto the bed. He pushed the hem of your shirt up, kissing your exposed stomach up towards your chest.

You let out a gasp as you felt his tongue swirl around your nipple, his mouth claiming it as he teased the bud. You ran your fingers through his hair, head falling back against the pillows. Wonwoo pushed your shirt up past your chest, his hand stabbing and kneading your breast. He pulled away, tongue and lips repeating the same thing on your other nipple before he had you sit up so he could remove your top.

You laid back against the pillows as he kissed down your chest and stomach. He glanced up at you with dark eyes as he started to tug your shorts and underwear down, discarding them and spreading your legs. The smell of blood invaded his senses as he glanced down, seeing the small string of your tampon. He would deal with that later though.

“If you want me to stop at any point,” he said softly, looking up at you. “Just tell me.” You nodded as he lightly raked his nails up and down your thighs. “Nothing is off limits for me,” he explained. “Blood does not bother me, I’ve told you this.” You nodded once more, laying naked under his heated gaze.

You watched as he grabbed the back of his shirt, pulling it off over his head, ruffling his hair in the process. His red eyes studied you as he tossed it aside. Wordlessly, he leaned back over, licking the tips of his fingers before taking your lips in a searing kiss as his wet fingers pressed against your clit, immediately starting to work against it.

You moaned into his mouth as he rubbed slowly, lightly flicking and pinching your clit. Your arousal had started to pool, allowing his fingers to glide much smoother and faster. Tension started to build, heat rising in your body. Wonwoo pulled back, eyes meeting yours. “I’m going to remove this,” he said, fingers gently pulling on the string of your tampon. “Okay?”

You nodded, keeping your body relaxed as he started to pull slowly, removing the plug from your body. Once it was gone, he threw it in the waste bin between your bed and the side table. His fingers were back on you in an instant, rubbing your clit in a circular motion.

Your eyes fluttered shut as your hips started to move, chasing his fingers. You felt his fingers move lower and lower until they slid inside your cunt. You let out a groan as he curled his fingers, keeping his eyes on your face as he moved slowly, pumping his fingers in and out of you, a soft and slight squelching noise making your cheeks burn.

“From now on,” Wonwoo said as he curled his fingers against your walls again. “Don’t wear tampons around me. Just wear pads.” You couldn’t respond as his fingers moved faster, coaxing your body closer and closer to an orgasm.

Just before you came, he stopped, pulling his fingers out of you. “Wonwoo!” you whined as he smirked at you. Looking up at him, you watched as he brought his blood covered fingers closer to his face. “Here,” you said, trying to grab the container of wipes but let out a gasp as he instead stuck his fingers in his mouth, cleaning them with his tongue instead. “Wonwoo!” you admonished in total shock.

Wonwoo gave you a smile before he maneuvered down your body until his face was level with your cunt. You propped yourself up on your elbows. “No fucking way,” you said but your words fell short as you felt his tongue lick against your slit, a deep groan rumbling from his chest as he tasted your blood. The tip of his tongue dipped into your entrance before sliding up to your clit and you fell back against the bed with a moan as he started to lick, tease, and suck the sensitive nub.

The lewd slurping sounds, coupled with the fact that you were freely bleeding onto his tongue had your cheeks burning from embarrassment but you couldn’t deny it was also extremely erotic in a way. Your vampire boyfriend, who was not grossed out by blood, was more than willing to finger you, eat you out, and fuck you while you were on your period.

To say you hit the jackpot was an understatement.

Wonwoo felt the same way. Being allowed to taste you during this time of the month that you normally kept private from him was intoxicating and he knew that this would become your new normal routine.

You let out a whine as your orgasm drew closer and closer, back arching off the towels as Wonwoo flattened his tongue against your clit. Your hips tried to move, chasing the feeling of his tongue against you but he held you down, instead suckling on your clit until you finally came with a moan of his name, fingers tangling in his hair.

Wonwoo continued to lap slowly at your cunt until you shuddered, tugging gently on his hair and breathlessly begging him to stop. He pulled back and you stared in both shock and awe as his blood covered lips as he licked them slowly, maintaining eye contact with you.

You moaned as you watched him lick as much of the blood from his face as he could until he grabbed the container of wipes, pulling one out and wiping the areas of his face he couldn’t reach. He tossed the used tissue away and quickly removed his underwear, pushing the fabric down until his cock sprang free. He kicked them off the rest of the way before moving between your thighs.

“You don’t have to – hng!” you let out a moan as he pushed into your hole easily, the blood and your arousal mixing together to create the best possible lubricant. Any spasming and muscle contractions your uterus had been in the process of making ceased as his cock filled your cunt in one motion.

Wonwoo didn’t even need to give you time to adjust as your walls welcomed his cock instantly. He started to rut into you immediately, hips giving you a few testing thrusts before he really set into a hard and heavy pace. “F-fuck,” you gasped, nails digging into his back as he snapped his hips against yours.

“Feel good?” Wonwoo asked in a deep voice, a hint of amusement in his tone. You nodded eagerly, eyes rolling back as he started to pound into you, the sound of his skin hitting yours filling the room with an undertone of his cock entering your wet cunt.

“I knew it would,” Wonwoo breathed as he grabbed your thigh, pushing it up so he could angle his thrusts to hit the soft gummy spot that had you crying out in pleasure. He didn’t give a damn if your neighbors complained. He loved it when you screamed for him. When he made you feel so good that you cried out in pleasure.

“We’re doing this every time you’re on your period,” he grunted with effort as he slammed into you. “Gonna fuck you every night if I have to just to keep the cramps away.” Your fingers curled into his hair as you held onto him tighter, the leg that wasn’t being held up wrapping around his waist.

“Won-oo,” you mumbled, your grip on his hair tightening. “M’gonna cum.” Wonwoo pushed your thigh against your side, ramming into you, the tip of his cock barely brushing your cervix as he helped you chase your high, your own hips bucking up to meet his thrusts. “Fuck,” he growled. “Cum for me, baby. Show me out wet you can really get.”

You came immediately, crying out in pure bliss as your walls clenched around his cock as he fucked you through your orgasm before chasing his own. His thrusts grew more erratic, wild and sloppy as your cum and blood mixed, making sloshing sounds as he frantically fucked you. “Ah shit,” he groaned, head burying into your shoulder. “I’m gonna cum, fuck!”

You let out a cry of pain as you felt his sharp teeth sink into the skin of your shoulder as he came, sinking his entire cock into you as his load exploded, releasing a stream of thick milky cum into your bloody cunt. A mixture of the fluid spilled out of you, falling onto the towels under you as Wonwoo sucked from the fresh wound in your shoulder.

He pulled back, murmuring an apology as he licked over the holes created by his teeth. “That’ll heal,” he added as he moved to the other side of your neck, burying his face in your neck. You wrapped your arms around him as he gave you a small couple thrusts, fucking his cum deeper into you. “I’ll help you clean,” he added before you could complain about the mess. “Just let me stay like this for a bit.

Clean up was a lot easier than you expected. Wonwoo carried you to the shower, hopping in with you for a bit and helping you wash off, making sure to wash away any cum that spilled out of you. He then got out, drying off and dressing at lightning speed while you finished. He threw the soiled towels and sheets in the wash, placing new ones down before you got out of the shower.

As he requested, you didn’t put another tampon in, instead lining your panties with the pads he picked up for you as you dressed. You pulled on a sweatshirt and shorts, leaving your bra off. Something comfortable and easy for him to remove.

“You know,” he said as you settled on the bed next to him, wrapped up in the blankets and watching the TV at low volume.

“Just in case the cramps come back.”

©️ kwanisms 2024 | all works on this blog are protected under copyright. Do not repost, continue, or translate my works. All graphics made by me.

[horrorshow]

Can you talk about why you think blocking and moving on is a bad thing? I thought it was a way to curate your space and avoid drama

idk maybe i'm too idealistic but fandom is a much more friendlier, welcoming, supportive, creative, engaging, active, diverse and interesting space when it's treated like a community where people are encouraged to participate and talk about their interests and where there's space for niche or more unpopular opinions without these people having to worry about being blocked and feel unwelcome by the majority of the fandom they are in. i can't stand how blocking everyone you disagree with has become the first thing to do.

you say its 'to curate your experience'. but blocking people does not only curate YOUR experience. you're also forcefully curating other users' experiences. and not for the better.

people say 'i will block you for literally anything' and then those same people wonder why engagement is down, why no one sends asks, why no one reblogs, why rarely anyone talks in the tags anymore and why this place feels so dead and boring and quiet. i wonder why!!!!

people treat real people as annoying ads they can dispose of at their whim. but that's not how a fandom or a site like tumblr works. (besides, if you really care about people curating their own experience you wouldn't block people. you can filter and blacklist and never see them again while still granting them the same freedom instead of actively making their experience worse.)

you say its to avoid drama. but seeing a post you dont agree with is not 'drama'. and blocking is not solving anything except for you personally. fandom was more fun when we remembered that every user is a real person you share a space with, and probably some mutuals as well, so you find a way to live with each other. starting with a restraining order seems a bit excessive and is not contributing to anything. it's not that hard to be respectful and tolerate others and acknowledge people have different opinions and interests and still co-exist in peace. its not that hard to be nice to people and try to find common ground with them and interact with the stuff you DO like. you do this in every aspect of your real life, so why not online?

i hear you say: 'but that requires WORK and i don't NEED to do any of that bc i can just block them'.

yeah, you can try to create your own bubble and only hang out with like minded people but you wont EVER fully achieve that (no matter how much you block, social media WILL keep feeding you posts you disagree with bc it makes them money). social media WILL pressure you into an 'us vs. them' mentality where you constantly feel like everything online is a threat or an argument you have to win and where being mean and unnuanced gives you the most notes and where you don't even see, let alone be able to treat, other users as people anymore bc you don't interact with them anymore other than to block or fight them. that's not how i want it to be online. it's not fun to me. and maybe i'm a pessimist but i think it will eventually be the death of online fandom and sites like tumblr. look at the state of twitter right now. DOES blocking give you a better experience in the long run? i doubt that it does. overall, i think it makes people even less tolerable and more vulnerable to hate and fear mongering, and social media an even more hostile place.

it's everything i hate about social media and everything i want to fight against and WILL fight against. i won't pretend my meager contribution will change anything, but i LIKE to just scroll past posts i don't vibe with and not see every argument online as a personal offense. it keeps me curious. most posts aren't that bad when you know the person behind it. i mean, you do you, i'm not gonna say what you should or shouldn't do bc that's up to you, but i recommend it: free yourself of the block button and bring back supportive user communities based on a shared love for the same thing and focus on what you have in common with people, just like you would do in real life. save the block button for the rotten apples who DO keep trying to pick fights and exclude others.

(which is, now that i think about it, probably the main difference: most people see the block button as a neutral way to prevent worse. but. that's only the case on an individual level. and treating everything online as an individual choice to which there are no further consequences, especially if they happen on a larger scale, is already a loss.)

[badaziraphaletakes]

We want to hear your thoughts

Should we keep censoring words with asterisks?

For example: "P*tato" instead of "potato". (That's obviously not a word we would actually censor lol, but why include an emotionally-fraught word in this post when we don't need to.)

There are some arguments against it. It can cause problems with screen readers, and it means that blacklisting posts that contain the full word doesn't work (although if people remembered to tag the words in the content warnings then doing that wouldn't be necessary, sigh).

On the other hand:

Some people might want to read about the topic, but just don't want to have to see the word spelled out.

It's very painful to have to write (and read) certain words over and over and over again. Blogging about these kinds of topics is already emotionally exhausting. But it's important to talk about them. And, on a more selfish note, writing this blog has, oddly, been an emotional support for me (Mod X). It's gotten me through a really difficult few months and given me a sense of purpose during a time when I was struggling to find one. I don't want to post less, and if I stopped censoring words this way, I would have to.

I don't know if there's a good answer, but I'd like to hear people's perspectives.

Thank you!

[trisscar368]

You absolutely need to realize that real people fiction is absolutely dehumanizing to real life people when you make up headcannons about them and turn them into fictional characters to jerk off to in fanfics. It is absolutely not ok in any way shape or form. and it is, actually, sexual harassment to make someone know "everyone" wants to jerk it to them.

How does RPF differentiate from AI porn art of actors? drawings depicting actors in sexual situations? because its words, its ok? because theyre a celebrity, they're not human and therefore public property to use their humanity however you please?

the complete lack of consideration of the real life person you are turning into a toy is so repulsive. the amount of youtubers alone who have had to come out and say how uncomfortable it makes them should be enough. You should not be acting until told not to; its something you should only do IF they very clearly condone it. but even then, the gall to ask someone "can I write a romance novel about you and who" is absolutely an offputting thing to ask of anyone.

No, not because "sex is taboo" but because forcing unwarranted things like that on absolute strangers, is sexual harassment.

Reading comprehension questions:

Did OP advocate for harassing celebrities in the original post?

No. The entire point of the post was listing out ways that fandom harasses celebrities and telling them to cut that shit out.

Did OP state that people should tell celebrities about their fantasies?

No. That is... quite literally antithetical to the original post. Fascinated how you're agreeing with so much of my post and yet falling so flat at the end.

Did OP say anything about their personal interaction with RPF that might have an impact on how seriously they can take this anonymous message?

Yes. OP mentioned in the post that rpf is a squick that they blacklist. OP is not mushing any celebrities together like toys, either literally or metaphorically. OP is almost wondering if you got them confused with some other cabbage on the internet.

Reading comprehension: 0/10

There is -- and this is the part that truly I cannot let slide without commentary -- an equivalency in your message between people having and talking about fantasies (RPF existing) and the act of harassment. Let's look at the definition of harassment really quick.

Repeated or continuing unconsented contact that would cause a reasonable individual to suffer emotional distress and that actually causes the victim to suffer emotional distress.

Key word there? Contact.

People in a youtube comment section telling the youtuber how sexy they are, or how cute they are with their co-host omg my ship is so squee? Harassment. Contact has been made, the people doing are in that creator's forum space. Do not pass go do not collect $200.

Someone unsolicitedly tagging the cast of a tv show in explicit rpf fic or explicit art on Instagram, xitter, tik-tok, etc? Harassment, that individual is initiating contact with the actor. Same way endless phone calls constitutes harassment.

Sending anything explicit to an actor's family? Waaaay harassment. Possibly stalking as well, depending.

Someone writing a fic on ao3? Not harassment. It's not being sent to the celebrity. There is no contact, the only way they know about it is to go looking themself or have a friend send it to them (and hey, don't be that friend unless you've asked if it's okay).

Explicit fanart posted in fandom spaces? Not harassment.

Fic and art that stays behind the fandom wall? When no contact is made, there is no harassment.

It is not the existence of the fantasy that causes problems, it's the celebrities constantly having to hear about it. That's harassment.

Art existing, fic existing, discussions or fantasies existing do not constitute harassment. Someone writing fanfic and sharing it with their friends is not forcing it onto the celebrity. Someone expressing a sexual desire to a third party is not forcing either the desire or the act on the celebrity.

Thoughts are not actions.

This is a hill I will die on. This is a hill we should all die on, honestly, but as a someone who grew up with OCD, the fact that my intrusive thoughts don't alter reality is really fucking important.

Being out in the sunlight will not kill my friends. Calling the wrong phone number will not result in my family dying over the following few days.

Having a sexual impulse, having desire, does not itself alter reality. Saying those thoughts out loud, admitting that someone is hot, that they have chemistry with a costar? Writing it down to share? Has as little impact on reality as the rituals I had to repeat endlessly as a kid to keep the Bad away.

RPF is not an act of assault. It is not, inherently, harassment.

Is fandom really bad at keeping the fourth wall up? Yeah. There are a lot of people who harass celebrities and think it's fine, because the celebrity is rich and they can just go cry into their money. (To be clear, I think that's bullshit.) But again, constantly, endlessly, it's what people do that matters.

“You’d have done the same,” said Lily. “No,” said Granny. “I’d have thought the same, but I wouldn’t have done it.” “What difference does that make, deep down?” “You mean you don’t know?” said Nanny Ogg.

[kazoo-goddess]

So, I've wanted to make a post like this for some time, but I only just got the motivation because of an ask I got recently. I want to give a piece of advice to everyone, in general, to keep in mind when using any social media platform--advice that I wish someone had given me way back when, that I feel is important to pass on:

Not every post you see is for you. Not every post is about you.

This is not meant to be a negative thing, or a put-down! It is not meant to dismiss anyone. It's really what it says on the tin: When you see a post cross your feed, and you disagree with the post or it upsets you because you disagree with the message it has, try and keep in mind that you may not be the target audience for the post. In particular, take this into account for advice and positivity posts--The OP doesn't have anything against you personally when they share words that are meant to be uplifting that you don't agree with. A post that says "Keep going! You can do it, even if you think you can't!" probably isn't meant to put down people who are in a position where they very literally cannot do it or think their way out of their situations. Like this post, it's more likely that the OP is sharing positivity or advice that they themselves would have liked to hear.

Even this post, the one I'm writing now, might not be for you or about you! If you disagree with my viewpoint, that's okay, and there's nothing wrong with that! But I, personally, am writing this post for people who might need to hear it--people like me, who are easily upset or hurt by things they see or hear in passing, whether on the internet or real life. I'm not writing it because I want to spark an argument, I promise.

Posts aren't always meant to spread outside the OP's original circle of followers and friends. But that's a hazard of posting to public social media websites--a joke originally meant to have an audience of 12 people close to you can suddenly explode, getting thousands and thousands of views and reposts and going completely out of the OP's control overnight! It's no one's fault; it's not done maliciously. Sometimes a post or joke just resonates with others. But maybe it doesn't resonate with you--that really is okay! Just try and remember, if it gets under your skin, that it isn't for you. And if it's not for you, it's okay to just ignore it and move on! It can definitely get annoying when it's something you keep seeing over and over from friends and acquaintances reposting it, and I'd never fault anyone for losing their temper over it--but sometimes, just taking a second to remind yourself that you weren't the audience for something can really help calm you down and help you feel better and move on with your day.

While this goes for advice/positivity posts, it also goes for opinion posts! And in this case, to be completely, perfectly clear: I mean harmless opinions. A ship they like that you don't; a tv show they enjoyed that you didn't; a character they really love that you absolutely cannot stand. The kind of opinion you disagree with so much that makes you feel absolutely steaming mad. (Again: This does NOT extend to these things when they go into a genuinely harmful category. No homophobia, no pedophilia, nothing like that. I am talking about harmless, mundane disagreements.)

Maybe you see a post talking positively about a manga that makes you feel ick. The OP more than likely didn't write that post with the hopes that it would reach you specifically just to make you upset! (And if they did, that's rude, and an entirely different can of worms that this post is not about! >_>;) But the post upsets you anyway, even if it wasn't MEANT to. It's understandable, it happens! But the thing is: You don't need to engage with that post if it makes you feel bad! If you have a post blocker, you can block the post or blacklist the tag; if you don't, you may just have to scroll past. It can be so, so, so tempting to try and get in a biting comment in the replies to snap at the OP and tell them, "No, you're wrong, your opinion makes me mad and I don't want to hear it!" Trust me. I know. I get it, because I've been there! But in the grand scheme of things, it's not worth it or healthy to burn yourself out over it. It wasn't for you, and it wasn't about you! And you're better off doing what you can to take care of yourself, and preserving your health and happiness where you can.

I feel like I'm writing this with sort of childish language, and it might feel like I'm talking down to others. But really, I think I'm just writing it in a way that a younger me would have understood and taken to heart if she'd seen it. I hope that, if you read this, you can see it that way too! There's a part of me that feels scared that this post in itself could explode with notes that will be very upset with me for my thoughts on this, whatever their reasons may be, but I wouldn't be making it if I weren't prepared for that possibility. If the message I intend to get out can reach even one person who it can help, then I think that's worth writing it for. Because, I want to reiterate it one more time, because it can be so easy to forget it and get yourself furious in a self-destructive way, sometimes you have to remember:

Not every post you see is for you! Not every post is about you!

[gentle-giant-swag]

It turns out some gentle giants are not being in fact, gentle giants!

Oh god it’s shocking to hear, I know. But some have hurt a fly, even if said fly was a cult leader who killed their dog and rode their bike late at night so their mom couldn’t sleep!

So we can’t allow those character to be considered gentle giants /s

That’s why I’m launching

LEAST GENTLE GIANT

This is a special edition of gentle giant swag, where 32 characters who are being kept anonymous, where the only thing that is revealed to the public are their crimes, are forced to compete to see who’s the least gentle of them all!

Rules

Ocs are allowed!

No hearts boxcards, he’s been blacklisted since june

Silly crimes are included, don’t worry if their biggest crime is not saying thank you after dinner.

If you need help picking out one, I recommend you check out this google sheet (contains the A bracket, the B bracket, C bracket, and D bracket , from the main round!) they can be completely new however! So don’t worry!

No Harry Potter

Be nice to each other!

NO SPAMMING! Or else your (un)precious blorbor is banned!

Also, they must be gentle giants or gentle giant adjacent! Of course

Link if you wanna submit

Form closes September 1st

Other brackets im tagging @badass-queer-couples-battle @the-robot-bracket @dysfunctional-family-fight @whosthatcharacter-bracket @whowouldwininafite @the-blue-battle @leastdatablebracket @onepiece-polls @splatoonpolls @sigma-showdown

[avocadoraisin]

Hey there! My name is Jenna and this is my art blog!

(she/her, 29, american in canada)

My main, @jennilah is used for personal posts, occasional WIPs, headcanons and other fandom memes, and reblogging things. Check it out if you're into that!

But if you just want the art, you're in the right place! Welcome!

Info for you:

What program & brushes do you use? I use Clip Studio Paint, and most of my art is done with a simple round brush with pen pressure only on the opacity. The rest is done with a variety of random texture or pattern brushes and blending tools.

Can I repost your art on [website]? I'd rather you didn't repost my art at all, but if you still want to, please ask me! If it is a website I use, no. If it is one I don't, then maybe. (With credit.)

Can I use your art for my profile picture/header? Yes! I'd be so flattered! If you can credit me somewhere, that would be appreciated ❤

Can I write fic/draw more fanart based on your art, or edit it into a fanvid? Are u asking if I want to melt into a sappy puddle of happiness?? Absolutely, PLEASE tag me!! (If I reblog, it will be on main tho, just to keep this space curated. Nothing personal!)

Can I make a request? Sure! I can't guarantee I'll draw it, but I love hearing people's ideas and I often keep them in my askbox for when I need inspiration :)

Can I ask you something else? Absolutely!! My askbox is almost always open! And if for whatever reason you're too shy to ask on my art blog, you are welcome to ask on my personal blog. (On both blogs, my anon gets turned on and off depending on my mood.)

Tags for sorting and blacklisting purposes:

[Fandoms and ships will always simply be tagged as their respective fandom titles and main ship names]

#jenna shut up - my non-art posts

#jenna answers - answering asks

#timelapse - time lapse videos of some of my drawings

#jenna self reblogs - for when I reblog myself and share the same art/post again

#drawing - the definitive tag for all of my art and none of my text posts

#doodle - low effort work, sometimes it does have effort, idk using this tag depends on my mood sometimes

#saucy raisin - art and sketches that are a bit more mature than my usual threshhold

I also try to tag spoilers for at least a few weeks after a new media's release, usually as "#[title] spoilers"

[crossf15]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but being constantly in tune with every ounce of human suffering that's happening in the world, and everything that can and has gone wrong constantly is really really bad for you.

I know it's hard, especially since a lot of people on social media consider it to be praxis to know and share every awful thing that's happening at all times, but get off the internet.

Blacklist some tags, play some videogames, go eat a nice meal and only check on the election results when they're actually finished. Especially if you're poc/queer, that shit's gonna be harrowing.

Please for the love of god, constantly checking how bad things will only stress you out with no tangible benefit. If you voted, you already did everything you could for now.

[damnfandomproblems]

This isn't a submission, it's a response to the ongoing mental health blog discussion.

Hey, so I'm a roleplayer who has considered making a side-blog for my mental health journey. I'm 33 years old and for a long time I didn't know what was wrong with me, until the beginning of this year, when I finally started seeing mental health professionals. I'm currently seeing two. For me it is a relief to finally be able to put a word to how I've been feeling for such a long time. Which has prompted me to want to talk about it, as I'm unraveling the mystery and am figuring out why I feel, think, and do what I do.

I have posted about it on my roleplay blog, tagged it so people could blacklist it if needed and put it under a read more so no one would have to look at it if they didn't want to and folks still have gotten upset with me and have even blocked me and unfollowed, too, which is fine, people have to do what they need to in order to feel comfortable on their own blogs, however, this is also why I have considered making a side-blog too, so no one on my main blog would have to see it all of the time.

People may think that I'm just talking about this sort of thing for attention, but I'm not. Some people will never understand what it's like to be crippled by mental illness for years and then finally feeling the sweet relief and freedom of knowing something can be done for it and there is a chance for getting better. In fact writing about it is often encouraged by therapists. Another thing, too, I'm not really allowed to speak about my mental illness to family and friends because it would damage quite a few familial relationships if I did, so it's not like I can write something up on Facebook and openly talk about it there. It just feels safer to talk about it on Tumblr where it won't get back to my family and friends.

Furthermore, I also know that there are other people out there that were/are like me. They know something is wrong but they don't have a word to describe what's wrong, and I have some hope that they will be able to hear what I have to say and that it might encourage them to go get the help that they need, rather than waiting 33 years like I did. I always think back to how I could have gotten help sooner and I just don't want others to make the mistakes that I did.

I hope everyone understands where I'm coming from in this discussion. Tumblr may truly be someone's only safe outlet... so some of you needs to stop jumping to conclusions about everything being for attention.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[afreakingdork]

Unfortunately one of the reasons why I'm so scared to have online presence it's because I can't deal with any sort of harassment or harsh criticism. I feel like some people on the internet have forgotten how to be kind :(

I totally sympathize with that and understand fully if others don't want to be out, but it makes me so steamed that we can't just do whatever in this supposedly anonymous space. The coordinated attacks and mass hysteria brought about by experimenting with literally anything that could be even the slightest bit sensitive is a patently hysteria. Art as a media is meant to be experimented with and, yes, I get this is a double edged sword. Bronies made MLP inaccessible to their core audience largely on online spaces, but the levels at which some people go to attack, actual attacks with death threats and the like, is outrageous. The murmurs you hear talk of the blacklist or that supposedly secret discord that sends people out like agents? What the fuck are they doing? That is obsessive behavior patrolling existence and for what?!

I'm not evening asking people to be kind. I've been on the internet for many years. I've read the many studies of how a supposedly anonymous wall gives people armor that makes them believe that they can say their shitty opinions out loud. Hell, if you're in America you've been watching as for years now people have started to think they can spew hatred in public like it's the norm, but I'm not actually comparing the conservative wave to ninja turtles; I only mean to illustrate, not all people are good. Do I believe most people are? Of course, I'm an optimist.

My honest goal is just don't like, don't read. I'll tap the signs as many times as I need to. As long as those creating sensitive material take the basic steps (tagging and warnings), then to me that's all that's necessary! It is not your job to curtail yourself for other's consumption if you are not going out of your way to bother them. Block and move on! That's basic human decency.

tldr; you're valid. if you don't feel comfortable, I fully support you. If you do and do the bare minimum to warn others, live and let live.

[kwanisms]

Truth Comes Out - h.jisung

➥ dom!Han × sub!Reader summary: Since discovering the stranger she hooked up with is her best friend's roommate, Y/N has been actively avoiding Han. wc: 13.1k (I'm so, so sorry lol) warnings: afab reader, adult dialogue, alcohol consumption, sexual content (minors dni!): heavy making out, fingering, handjob, marking, a LOT of dirty talk, pet names (baby, baby girl, babe, sugar, etc), orgasm denial (m receiving), sexting/phone sex, mutual masturbation, mutual pining (they are really desperate and whiny for each other), Han is very vocal, it’s clear Han and Y/N both like each other a lot but Y/N struggles a lot with her feelings. I think that’s all but let me know if I missed anything! a/n: back by popular demand, here is the second part to Kinkuary 17! Tbh, i had this planned when I first started writing part one. I knew I wanted to leave it on a cliffhanger and make it into three parts. I had a lot of fun outlining and writing the party scene. Let me know what you think! I love feedback and hearing your thoughts! As always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. banner made by me. I do not allow reposts or translations of my works. All my works are ©️ kwanisms.

Permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @wonderfulshinee @candidupped @dejavernon @violagoth @kosmoreads @tigermoonbiss @katsukis1wife Stray Kids taglist: @cixrosie @hoeforcheol @beomgyusbabygirl @lovestayskzxx @flowerboykun @smhlino Tagging @songgmingii @j1s-babygirl @chai-papa @klysaibabes @lovethatchanussy @nokacchan @dramaticnobody @youremytearr @replay-by-shinee @myprwttyhan @licklix because they asked for part two on my first part. Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. Send an ask to be tagged in part 3. Part 1 // Part 3

════════════════════════════════

“Why can’t you come over tonight again?” Felix asked as you flipped the potato pancakes over. “Because,” you said as you glanced down at your phone lying on the counter where you could see your best friend lying on his bed, holding his phone over his head as he watched you cook.

“I have some paperwork due,” you answered simply.

“And you can’t do it another day because…?” Your best friend asked, eyebrow raising. “Because my boss changed the due date again.”

Felix groaned, rolling his eyes. “Your boss sucks.” You snorted in laughter. "Tell me about it."

“I miss you though,” he continued, rolling onto his side. “Aww, is this you confessing your undying love to me?” You cooed, laughing when he scowled in disgust. “Ew, fuck you,” he laughed. “Uh, no thanks,” you retorted, making him roll his eyes again.

“Now that we’re settled into the apartment, I was hoping you’d come over and meet Jisung,” Felix murmured, making your shoulders stiffen. Thankfully, Felix didn’t notice or he didn’t comment on it.

“And I will,” you answered. “I just need to power through this bullshit my boss dumped on me.” Felix nodded understandingly. “You should quit that job and come work with me,” he said suddenly, making you laugh loudly.

“Hard pass.” Felix scowled at your response.

“I’ll have you know my company is a lot better than yours,” he said sternly. You rolled your eyes. “If we worked together, nothing would ever, ever get done,” you retorted, watching as your best friend considered your response.

“Yeah,” he answered finally, nodding. “You’re right.”

The timer above your oven went off and you rushed to turn it off. “That’s time,” Felix said jokingly as you returned to him. “Dinner’s ready, that means I gotta go.” Felix pouted but sighed. “Okay, just promise that you’ll clear a day for our housewarming party,” he said as you picked up your phone. “Yeah, yeah,” you replied, waving your hand. “We’ll see.”

It hurt you to lie to your best friend but it wasn’t like you could just come out and tell him why you’ve been avoiding visiting his apartment.

Ever since you’d learned that the man you’d invited into your home, the one you met on a BDSM discord server, was his roommate, you’d been vehemently avoiding going over to Felix’s new apartment.

It was bad enough that Han was his roommate and you’d slept with him not knowing he was friends with Felix, but your best friend was trying desperately to get you and Han to meet for whatever reason.

You’d been pretty good at making up excuses not to go over but you were running out of them and you knew sooner or later you’d have to go over but you opted for later rather than sooner.

Of course, he hadn't given up inviting you over to his apartment and was adamant on introducing you to his roommate. You'd done your best to turn him down, coming up with excuse after excuse, inviting him over to your place instead.

"Come on Y/N!" Felix whined over the phone. You could almost picture him, throwing his arms around lazily and dramatically. You let out a deep sigh. "I don't know Lix," you answered, chewing on your bottom lip. "I don't really want to stay in."

"Perfect!" Felix said excitedly and you imagined him with puppy ears, eyes shining with excitement. "Cause we're going out! That new club opened up down the road from my building and the hype has died down so we shouldn't have a problem getting in!"

Suddenly you wished you said you wanted to stay home.

"Oh? Who else is going?" you asked, feigning interest. "Just us," Felix answered. "I promise!"

Hearing this made your mind up for you. "Okay, that sounds fun," you replied. "Do you want to meet there?"

"Nah. Just come here. Then we can go together. I'm the only one here. Han went out with some of his friends to another club. He has a very specific vibe," Felix explained.

Your eyebrow arched suspiciously. "Aren't your friends his?" you asked, suddenly wondering if he was lying to you.

"Not all of them," Felix explained. "He went with some of his friends from work." You felt your shoulders relax. 'Then it should be safe.'

"Okay," you finally said. "I'm in."

“Yes!” Felix said excitedly. “I promise, it’ll just be the two of us.”

Felix went on to thank you profusely, telling you to be at his place around seven-ish and you'd do a small pregame before heading down the street. You hung up and started getting ready immediately, hopping in the shower first.

After getting dressed and applying some makeup, you checked yourself over in your mirror that hung by your door. It was a simple look. A black skirt that flared out and reached halfway down your thighs paired with a white long sleeved crop top.

You'd styled your hair and paired your outfit with a black clutch wristlet and black pumps. Felix hated when you wore heels around him but this wasn't about him you decided. It was about you getting out of the house and spending time with your best friend.

The trip to Felix's building was as it usually was, a bus ride and short walk and you found yourself in the lobby, greeted by a security guard who checked your name off a list. He directed you to the guest elevator and said he would send you up.

This building was much newer than yours and much more state of the art. You couldn't even imagine how much it cost to live here. Felix had a pretty great job so you suspected Han must have a pretty damn good one as well.

Inside the elevator was unlike anything you'd seen. There were no buttons save for an emergency stop and call button. No buttons labeled for the floors. When the doors shut, the elevator started to move and you suddenly understood what the guard meant by he'd "send you up."

The ride to the 10th floor was quick and uneventful as you arrived. You checked your reflection once more before stepping off the elevator and were greeted by loud bass. One of Felix's neighbors must be having a party.

As you walked down towards the end of the hall, the bass grew louder and louder. You found the correct door and knocked softly. Felix didn't answer so you tried again, albeit a little louder this time. 'Might not be able to hear me over the neighbor's party.'

The door was thrown open and you were greeted by the loud bass and a face you hadn't seen in a long time.

"Y/N!" Hyunjin said, smiling and wrapping you in a tight one armed hug, pulling you inside the very loud, very crowded, apartment. It took your brain a moment to register what was happening. Felix said you were going to a club.

He said it would just be you and yet here was almost every person in his life and some you didn't even recognize. Hyunjin led you further into the apartment and to the kitchen island where there was a spread unlike anything you'd ever seen at any of the parties you'd been to before.

You were going to kill Felix.

Bottles on bottles of liquor, some half empty but full ones set up behind, ready to take their place. Red cups and plastic shot glasses were stacked and ready to be used. On the dining room table was an impressive amount of food.

"What are you drinking?" Hyunjin asked over the bass as he leaned in to hear you. "Uh, I'm okay for now," you answered, shaking your head. Hyunjin shook his head. "Nonsense, I'll make you something."

Despite your protests, Hyunjin grabbed a clean cup and started mixing something while you looked around the crowded apartment.

You recognized a group of Felix's closest friends and sitting among them was your best friend, laughing at something one of his friends said. You narrowed your eyes as Hyunjin finished making your drink and handed it to you. "That's the best one I know how to make. Sorry if it's a little strong," Hyunjin said, giving you a wink.

You raised the glass to your face, sniffing to discern the ingredients but all you could smell was fruit and alcohol. You took a sip and winced slightly. "You're gonna kill me," you coughed, making Hyunjin laugh, his eyes closing. "Not kill. Just get you drunk!"

You felt his hand on your back, leading you through the party goers and over to where Felix was sitting on a black sofa next to Ryujin with Changbin on the other side, an arm draped across the back of the sofa behind Lia. As you approached, Hyunjin yelled over the music. "Look who I found standing outside!"

Everyone turned to look at the two of you, several faces lighting up as Felix's friends greeted you. Felix looked up and his smile fell at the look you threw him as you hugged Chris. "Wow, you look amazing!" Chris said, looking you over.

"Doesn't she look incredible?" He asked, turning to Seungmin who was sitting next to Ryujin. "She always looks amazing," he said as he stood up, moving past Chris to greet you with a hug. "Good to see you, Y/N," he said in your ear.

When he sat back down, your attention zeroed in on Felix as he got up quickly. "Hey," he said, pulling you into a hug. "You lied to me," you hissed, digging your knuckles into his side discreetly.

Felix winced, playing it off to anyone who noticed. "I know, I'm sorry," he replied as the group went back to their conversation, Hyunjin blending in smoothly as he took Felix's empty spot on the sofa.

"But you kept coming up with excuses to not come over!" Felix explained as you took a sip of your drink. "I've been putting off this house warming party for a week, trying to pick a day when you'd be free. I can't break in my new home without my best friend."

You glanced around nervously. "It's not like I'd be missed," you murmured. "How many people did you invite?" You looked up as Felix did the mental calculation. "I can't remember but a lot of these people were invited by Jisung," Felix explained, his face lighting up.

"Speaking of!" he said suddenly, grabbing your free hand and pulling you through the crowd. "Wait, Felix," you hissed as he dragged you away from the group and towards a room just off the main living area.

In what you assumed was the den, a table was set up for pong and the people surrounding were eagerly cheering on the players.

Your eyes darted around, landing on the one person you'd been avoiding this whole time.

He was standing at the end with the person you could only assume was his teammate. He looked just as good as the last time you saw him. He'd dressed for the occasion, donning a plain black loose fitted tee, tucked into black leather pants. He'd put on a simple silver chain necklace.

Felix dragged you over as Han picked up his drink watching his teammate and taking a sip.

Han looked up from his cup as Minho picked up one of the small white plastic balls and aimed. "You got this, Min," Han shouted over the music, clapping his friend on the shoulder. "Yah, don't do that!" Minho shouted as he narrowed his eyes.

Han caught sight of Felix moving through the crowd towards him and smiled. He was accompanied by a girl but Han couldn't see her face. Perhaps this was the infamous best friend? Had she finally agreed to show up? Han turned back as Minho took the shot.

His aim was true as managed to bounce the ball in one of the three cups remaining on the opposing side. The entire crowd erupted into applause and cheers as Han laughed at the look on his opponents' faces. Yunho was shocked as Mingi begrudgingly picked up the cup and chugged the contents.

"This ain't over yet!" Yunho shouted, pointing at Han who laughed.

"Han!" He turned as he heard his name came from behind him, feeling a hand on his shoulder. He turned to find Felix standing behind him with the same girl attempting to hide out of sight. He smiled at his roommate before Felix spoke.

"I wanted to introduce you to my best friend!"

Han's smile widened. 'She finally made it!'

"Oh?" Han asked, trying and failing to conceal his excitement. "She's finally here?" Felix nodded, turning towards the girl behind him.

"What are you-? Stop hiding," Felix laughed as he put his arm around the girl and pulled her forward. "Y/N, this is my roommate, Han Jisung."

"Han, this is Y/N."

Han had heard so much about his roommate's best friend from the man himself and was beyond excited to finally meet her so he was expecting anyone but… you.

His eyes widened, lips parting as he felt his stomach nearly fall out of his ass. He never expected to see you, the girl he'd hooked up with and then been ghosted by, again. He was so engrossed in his own thoughts that when you looked up at him with a pained expression, it made his heart sting.

It was almost as if you were sorry. Or maybe it was shame? Or perhaps even embarrassment? Han couldn't be entirely sure but one thing was certain.

He was fucked.

When your eyes met Han's you could see his thoughts moving at the speed of light. He was running through every possible scenario. Felix looked expectantly at his roommate, waiting for a response.

"Dude, you okay?" Felix asked, drawing both yours and Han's attention. Han finally snapped out of it and tore his gaze from your face. "Yeah, sorry," he said sheepishly. "Oh, isn't she a cute one," Han's pong partner said suddenly, smirking at you.

"I'd be speechless too," he added, nudging Han. "She's gorgeous." You felt your cheeks burn at the stranger's compliment. He leaned forward, holding his hand out which you took hesitantly. "I'm Minho," he announced over the music. "Y/N," you answered, shaking his hand firmly. "Y/N? God, even your name is cute."

Your cheeks burned even more at the attention Minho was giving you. You glanced at Han who was side-eyeing his friend with… 'wait is that jealousy? Is he jealous?' Felix wrapped an arm protectively around your shoulders. "Back off, Min," he warned jokingly.

"Oh?" Minho asked, grabbing his cup and downing the rest of his drink. "Is she spoken for?" he asked, smirking at Felix who shook his head. "What? No! She's my best friend. We're like siblings," Felix added. Minho's smirk softened into a smile.

"I'm just teasing. We all know you only have eyes for Momo," Minho said, making those around you snicker as Felix tried to defend himself. Minho turned his attention on you once more, leaning in. "Could you be a doll and get me a refill? Pretty please?" he asked, tucking a stray of hair behind your ear.

"Yah, Minho!" Han suddenly shouted. "She's not a server," he continued as several pairs of eyes fell on him. "Yeah, get your own drink," Felix added. Minho sighed, turning to take his cup from you. "Pause the game," he called but you snatched the cup from him.

Anything to escape Han's gaze.

"I'll get it," you said quickly, ignoring the way both Felix and Han eyed you. Minho merely smiled, reaching up to stroke your cheek. "Good girl," he said before turning back to the game.

You turned away and darted through the crowd, missing the way Felix looked impressed by both Minho's and your boldness but Han looked downright furious.

You made your way through the crowd to the kitchen and started to fix a drink for Minho, shaking off your apprehension and nerves. You felt a body lightly bump into you and looked up to see Jeongin smiling sheepishly at you.

"Innie! How are you?" you asked, smiling at him.

"I'm good," he answered as he watched you mix the drink. "Who is that for?" he asked, nodding at the cup. "Minho? I think he’s Han- Jisung's friend," you answered as you picked up the now full cup.

Jeongin's eyebrow raised as he watched you. "Oh? Didn't know you were making drinks for Minho," he teased, prompting you to pinch his arm.

"It's stuffy in there and he asked me to," you explained as you wove through the crowd, Jeongin on your heels.

Inside the den, the previous game had finished with Han and Minho winning and now facing new opponents: Felix and Changbin.

You returned to Minho who turned and smiled as you handed him his cup. "It might be a little strong," you said as he took a sip. "Jeongin distracted me," you added, throwing a playfully dirty look at the culprit who merely smiled at you.

Minho shook his head. "No, it's perfect, thank you," he answered, setting it down and sending a wink your way. Han looked from his friend to you, meeting your gaze. His expression was hard to decipher but he soon turned away to start the game.

You turned to Jeongin, talking with him as the new round started. "So, how's college?" you asked. He shrugged before answering. "Expensive, stressful, and probably going to put me in debt for the rest of my life." You laughed loudly at his reply.

"Sounds about right."

Han couldn't stop himself from glancing in your direction every time you laughed at something Jeongin said. It was clear you knew the younger man and that was probably thanks to Felix.

"Who's your friend, Innie?" A voice asked. When Han looked over, he noticed one of Jeongin's tall friends- Beomgyu was it?- had slid up to the two of you and currently had one arm resting on Jeongin's shoulder, smiling at you. "This is Y/N," Jeongin introduced.

"Nice to meet you Y/N. I'm Beomgyu," he said, wincing as one of his friends bounced up next to him and behind you. "I'm Kai!" he said excitedly, making you laugh.

God, your laugh. Han loved it. He hadn't heard it since that day and hearing it now was like music to his ears. He wasn't lying when he had told Felix how much he missed you. Of course, Felix didn't know it was you he missed. To Felix it was Baby.

His eyes trailed over your body, remembering how it felt to have his hands on it. He remembered how you reacted to him, almost as if your body was made to fit with his. He'd thought of nothing but you since then. Whenever he needed to get off, he imagined the way you looked bent over, restrained, and at his mercy.

He'd looked at the pictures he'd taken that day over and over again. True to his promise, none of them had your face in them, something he missed greatly. He missed your eyes and the way they looked at him as he ate you out. The way your lips looked and felt.

And your tongue? God did he miss your tongue.

He'd tried to reach out, messaging you on both instagram and discord but his messages went unanswered. He didn't really question it when you disappeared from the server a few days after hooking up. You'd been interested in anonymous sex and you'd gotten that from him so your membership in the server wasn't needed. He understood that.

But when you didn't answer his direct messages, he started to wonder if maybe he'd done something wrong. Offended or hurt you in some way that you didn't speak up about. Maybe you weren't serious when you said you'd have to invite him back over.

Worse case scenario, it wasn't as good for you as it was for him.

Han was snapped out of his thoughts as the crowd on the other side of the table cheered. He looked down and saw one of the cups in front of him had a little white ball that previously wasn't there.

Looking up, he saw Felix celebrating. Han glanced at Minho who regarded him with a confused expression. Han shook his head and picked up the cup, downing the liquid inside.

As he did, his eyes shifted to the side where you were engrossed in a deep conversation with Beomgyu, Kai, Jeongin and a couple other people he vaguely knew. The coil in the pit of his stomach tightened, a sour feeling bubbling up. He recognized this feeling.

It was jealousy.

"You're so cute!" Beomgyu cooed, cupping your cheeks gently, laughing as you pushed him off playfully. "Don't tease her!" Jeongin whined, trying to shield you from his friend.

"Ooh, this is a good song!" one of Beomgyu's friends, whose name you learned was Soobin, said perking up. Another of Beomgyu's friends, Yeonjun, who had squeezed into the circle between you and Beomgyu, smiled as he looked at you.

"Do you wanna dance?" he asked, catching you off guard.

"Aww I was gonna ask her that!" Kai pouted, making Yeonjun chuckle. "I'll only keep her for a bit, Kai," he offered before turning back to you. "So how about it?" he asked, tilting his head.

Jeongin took your glass. "I'll hold this," he said with a smirk as you glanced around. "O-okay," you answered. Another one of Beomgyu's friends, Taehyun, held his hand up. "If you don't want to, it's okay. Yeonjun can be kind of…" he trailed off.

"Kind of what?" Yeonjun asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

You shook your head. "It's okay, Tae," you answered. "I'll dance with you," you added, looking at Yeonjun who lit up. He took your hand and led you out of the room. You were so focused on following him that you didn't notice the look on Han's face.

One dance turned into two and then three before you finally had to stop and get something to drink. You promised Kai you would dance with him after getting a new drink since Jeongin finished yours.

You were looking through the bottles, trying to find the same stuff Hyunjin had thrown together, half tempted to ask him to make it again when you felt a hand on your lower back.

You looked up from the counter to find Han standing next to you. You suddenly felt nervous in his presence as sparks erupted under your skin where the warmth of his hand was bleeding through your top.

"Hey," he said as he smiled at you. You glanced around nervously before looking back down at the counter. "Hey."

Han watched as you mixed something together, avoiding his gaze. He'd come for a fresh bottle of beer but found himself leaning against the counter while watching you work.

"Look," he finally said, breaking the awkward tension between you. "I'm sorry," you blurted out, making him freeze. You looked up at him finally, finding him already looking at you.

"For not responding to your messages," you clarified. "I've just been… off," you continued. Han shook his head, giving you a smile.

"You don't have to explain," he said, moving to stand closer. "If you wanted it to be a one time thing, that's fine. That was the deal, right?" He asked, one hand moving to rest on the small of your back. 'Is… is that what he thinks?'

"Han, I-" he cut you off before you could finish. "It's okay. We can just let it go. If you'd rather pretend it didn't happen-"

It was your turn to cut him off. "I don't want that." Han's eyes widened. "Y-you don't?" he asked softly, voice barely audible over the music. "I don't want to pretend it didn't happen," you repeated.

Your eyes met, staring at each other in the middle of a party like no one else was even there. It was like you had tunnel vision and all you could see was him. Like he was the only thing that mattered.

Han's eyes dipped down to your lips and back up to meet your gaze. Your eyes did the same. It was clear what you both wanted and you would have given in if it weren't for the arm that suddenly went around your shoulders.

"There you two are!" Felix said loudly as he draped an arm over both yours and Han's shoulders. "I was wondering where my favorite girl and the best roommate I've ever had went," he added, smiling at you. It was clear he'd had a little too much to drink and was more than tipsy.

You smiled sheepishly. "Yeah," you said, holding up your cup. "I just needed a drink." Han forced a smile, clearly annoyed that Felix had interrupted the moment between the two of you. "Well, now that you've got it, come join us," Felix said, giving you a slight shake.

Han wanted so desperately to ask Felix to give the two of you a second but he didn't want to draw attention or arouse suspicion so he begrudgingly followed along as Felix led you away from the drink station and into a circle around the sofa.

He watched as Felix pulled you down to sit between him and Jeongin, leaving Han to sit across from you in an empty space on the ottoman next to Chris who had Sana perched on his lap. "What's this about?" Changbin asked from his spot between Lia and Seungmin. "You summoned us here."

Felix shook his head. "I’m just the messenger," he answered. "You can ask them why," he added, nodding at Chris and Sana. "Well, mainly me," Sana said, holding up her hand. "I thought we could throw it back and play a classic party game," she explained.

"I swear to god," Yeonjun groaned as he leaned on the couch behind you. "If this is Truth or Dare, I'm leaving right now." Momo, who was sitting next to Chris and Sana chimed in. "It is Truth or Dare," she started.

"But with a twist."

Han tried to listen to Momo as she spoke but his eyes were focused on you and the way Yeonjun loomed over your figure. You didn't seem to mind, even when he briefly massaged your shoulders while Momo explained the rules.

"It's simple. On your turn, you chose either truth or dare," Momo explained, Sana chiming in halfway through. "And if you don't want to do the one you pick, you have to drink," she added. "So everyone playing needs drinks." There was a mild scramble as those without drinks got up to get refills. "What if you aren't playing?" Jeongin asked, raising his hand.

"Then get out of the circle," Sana said with a shrug. Jeongin apologized and got up, leaving the space beside you empty. Han was tempted to take it but he wasn't fast enough and someone else dropped onto the sofa beside you.

"I don't think we've met," the man who had just dropped into the seat next to you said, drawing your attention. Han didn't know him personally, only that he was friends with both Yeonjun and Changbin. "I'm Wooyoung." The man, Wooyoung, held his hand out.

A polite smile crossed your face as you took his hand. "Y/N," you replied shortly. Yeonjun behind you flicked Wooyoung's forehead. "Leave her alone, Woo. She's not going home with you," he saw in an annoyed tone. Wooyoung held his hand over his forehead and whined. "Well, she might have if you hadn't interjected!"

You smiled politely again at Wooyoung. "No," you replied, shaking your head. "I wouldn't have." Everyone around you burst into laughter and Wooyoung grumbled, whining under his breath until Yeonjun kicked him out of the spot and took it from him as the rest of the players settled down with their drinks.

Han recognized San as Wooyoung moved to sit beside him, Yeosang watching from outside the circle with Jongho. Yeosang was one of his department leads, Jongho working with them as well.

His attention was drawn back to the circle as the coffee table was cleared and used as the pedestal for the bottle and Momo started the game. She spun the bottle, waiting until it stopped landing on…

“Lee Chan!” She said, pointing to the man sitting to the left of Yunho. “Uh, present,” he said, a slight question in his tone. “Truth or dare?” Momo asked, waiting patiently for him to respond.

“Uh, sorry, I’m pretty a boring guy. Truth.”

Han zoned out as Momo asked her question, his eyes landing on you sitting wedged between Felix and Yeonjun, the latter who was leaning in, whispering in your ear. You giggled as he spoke before looking mildly scandalized and slapping his arm while he laughed.

It made the ugly beast in his chest surface, growling angrily.

The game quickly progressed into a game of daring people to kiss each other before the bottle landed on Felix, having been spun by Yeonjun. "Dare," Felix said, sitting forward to look around you at Yeonjun. "Dare you say?"

"Yeah, and make it a good one," Felix answered. "None of this kissing shit. That's so cliché." Several people shouted in protest, quieted only by Yeonjun holding his hand up. "Okay," he said, scooting forward to sit on the edge of his seat.

"Your dare comes with a choice. You have to give a lap dance," Yeonjun began, smirking devilishly as the circle laughed and whooped. Yeonjun held his hand up. "I haven't finished!"

The group fell silent waiting for the rest of the dare.

"You have to give a lap dance to either your roommate," he continued, all eyes turning to Han who chuckled nervously. "Or," Yeonjun said, turning to look at Felix. "Your best friend."

Han felt his throat go dry as all eyes fell on you sitting beside Felix who was contemplating his choices.

"I guess I'll pick Y/N," Felix said, wincing when you slapped his arm. "I wouldn't be able to look Han in the face afterwards if I picked him," he explained as you glared at him angrily.

One of their dining chairs appeared and was placed in the circle as the coffee table was pushed aside. Felix got to his feet and held out his hand for you to take. Your face flushed as you reluctantly took his hand, letting him pull you up and lead you over to the chair.

You took the seat, looking around nervously as Yeonjun held onto your drink, the latter smirking as the show started. Han found himself looking away as the others laughed, some covering their eyes and a few of the girls screaming.

Luckily Felix didn't draw it out too long, laughing as he pulled you up from the chair and pulled you into a hug while you hid your face in your hands.

Felix whispered in your ear as he hugged you, no doubt apologizing for what he just put you through. As the two of you sat back down, the bottle was spun by Ryujin on the other side of Yeonjun.

Han watched as it spun around, slowing before it stopped completely, the opening of the bottle facing away from Han. He looked up to see it had landed on you instead. You were unable to hide your surprise.

“Y/N! Finally,” Ryujin said excitedly as she waited for you to choose. Your response was swift, picking Truth after that last Dare had clearly traumatized you.

Ryujin looked deep in thought as she chose her question carefully.

"Hmmm, okay!” She clapped her hands together before pointing at you with both of her hands. “Have you ever slept with anyone in the circle?"

The question caught the attention of everyone in the group, especially Han. He wondered at that moment if you'd slept with any of Felix's friends before and if you had, did Felix know?

Han half expected you to take a drink from your cup but was surprised when you answered instead with a nod. The uproar was almost instantaneous, several people demanding to know who.

Ryujin nodded, a mischievous look on her face. "Of course, of course,” she said while nodding. “We should have expected you and Felix to have hooked up at some point," she said nonchalantly with a shrug.

At her accusation, you and Felix shook your heads quickly, both protesting in unison. "Absolutely not!" You said, sounding mortified. Felix was just as adamant.

"No really, we've never had sex. The only sleeping we do together is taking naps," he explained. You nodded profusely in agreement. Ryujin turned to look at you. “If it wasn’t Felix, then who was it?” She asked. Han noticed how you froze at the question.

You chuckled nervously and passed your drink to Yeonjun. "Uhh… I need to use the bathroom," you said, getting to your feet, ignoring the question entirely.

Once you disappeared, Han heard Sana speak.

"You're for real? You've really never slept with Y/N?" She asked. Han turned to look at Felix who shook his head again. "Really. She's my best friend. I don't see her that way," he answered. Yeonjun suddenly spoke up, turning to look at Felix.

"I certainly see her that way," he said, ignoring the whistles around him. "Do you care if I-" Han had heard enough.

"Wait, where are you going?" Momo asked as he got to his feet. "Bathroom," he grumbled. "Y/N's in there," Sana reminded him.

"I have an en-suite," he simply said as he set his beer on the end table and walked away from the group. He wound through the crowd, making his way through the apartment. It was true, he did have an en-suite bathroom but that's not where he was going.

The bass was muffled surprisingly well with the bathroom door shut as you washed your hands under the sink. Glancing up at your reflection, you sighed, taking in your tired eyes.

'Maybe I should go home… I think I've been here long enough. Surely Felix doesn't need me here now.'

Your internal monologue was interrupted by a knocking on the door.

Jumping slightly, you sighed and called out. "Hang on!" You finished rinsing the soap off your hands and shut the water off, drying your hands with the towel as another series of knocks sounded, this time much louder than before. 'Fucking impatient, drunk people.'

You unlocked the door and were in the process of opening it when the door was forced open and shut quickly, leaving you face to face with…

"Han?" you asked as he locked the door.

He only looked at you for a second before he closed the distance between you, hands grabbing your hips as his lips crashed against yours, guiding you back to the sink counter. Your hands grabbed his shirt, holding on as he pushed you against the counter.

"Fuck, I missed you," he growled, grinding against you as his lips trailed down your neck. "H-Han," you whispered in a shaky breath.

"We can't. Not here," you mumbled as his lips moved back up, stopping by your ear. Han didn't seem to hear you. Or he didn't care.

"You're all I've been able to think about," he continued, kissing along your jaw as his hands wandered, one moving to the small of your back, the other sliding down to your thighs, nails digging into your skin.

"Han," you warned, your voice wavering as his lips brushed over your pulse point.

"I just want to turn you around and bury myself inside you."

You let out a soft moan as Han's hand moved up your thigh, sneaking under your skirt and finding your lace covered clit easily. His fingers pushed the fabric of your panties against you and you knew he could feel the wetness that seeped through the material.

"Shit," he groaned, moving both hands to push you up to sit on the counter, fingers tracing over your slit. "You're so wet."

Your hands moved, one tangling in his hair as you pulled him to meet your lips in a searing kiss, his thumb pulling your panties aside and fingers seeking your wet heat, sinking two fingers inside your warm cunt with a sigh. You, on the other hand, were already a writhing mess as he began to pump his fingers in and out of you.

It was slow at first, but soon he was moving at a steady pace, curling his fingers up against the soft spongy spot inside you. "H-Han," you moaned, your free hand moving to undo his pants, slipping your fingers under the waistband of his underwear.

Your fingers wrapped around his hardened length, making him gasp out a moan, eyes fluttering shut as you started to pump your hand along his cock in time with the thrust of his fingers. "Oh fuck, baby," he moaned. "You're gonna kill me."

Your lips found his again in a sloppy kiss as you both tried to get the other off desperately. "Shit. You're so wet and tight. Just like last time," Han whispered, brow furrowing as your hand squeezed him firmly. "Bet you'd take my cock just as well, too."

Your cheeks burned, face flushing as he spoke. "Would you like that, baby?" Han asked softly. "You want me to bend you over the sink and fuck you where everyone could overhear?"

You moaned a little louder, walls clenching around his fingers as you spread your legs a little wider. You felt his thumb drag over your clit, rubbing circles in time with his thrusts. "Hannie," you mewled as his fingers pushed you closer and closer to the edge. "So close."

Han moaned, hips bucking into your hand as you lazily stroked him. "You gonna cum for me, baby girl?" he cooed. "Gonna be my good little girl and cum for me?"

You whined in response, knees and thighs squeezing his waist as your orgasm came rolling over you. "That's it," Han whispered, fucking you through your high with his fingers as you continued to jerk him off.

"Keep going, baby. You're doing so good," Han whispered, his voice taking on a much more breathless and whiny tone.

A loud knock at the door pulled you both out of your bubble and you suddenly remembered you were in the middle of a housewarming party at your best friend's apartment.

And here you were, hooking up with his roommate again.

Had you not learned your lesson?

"Sorry," you called out trying to keep your voice stead even though Han's fingers were still stuffed inside your pussy. "I might be a minute. Not feeling well." A shuffling outside the door indicated whoever it was had left. "We're gonna get caught," you hissed at Han, pulling your hand from his underwear and pushing his hand away from your sex before you hopped off the counter.

Han's hands turned you to face the mirror, grabbing your hips and grinding against your ass. "We shouldn't be doing this," you moaned as his hands moved, sliding up to grope your chest over your shirt as he continued to grind his erection into your ass, his lips ghosting over your neck. "Please baby," he whispered.

His hands moved back down to your hips, holding you still as he rutted against you, lips continuing to kiss your neck, teeth grazing your skin. You braced yourself against the sink, fully ready to let Han take you from behind when there was a loud thump against the bathroom door. "Fuck," you hissed. "We can't do this."

You turned around, Han catching you and taking your lips in a breathtaking kiss, one hand holding your hip, the other cupping your cheek tenderly. "My room is just down the hall," he mumbled but you shook your head. "I'm sorry," you answered. "S'too risky."

Han's lips pressed against yours repeatedly, small pleas slipping out between as he begged you.

"Please" kiss. "Baby. I'll be quick" kiss. "I promise" kiss. "Please baby" kiss. "Please?"

You shook your head again. "I'm so sorry," you whispered, pushing him back. Han pulled you closer, kissing you again. "Please stay, Y/N," he murmured. "Don't go." You kept shaking your head.

"I can't... We can't… I-I have to go."

Deciding to act before he could stop you, you darted for the door, unlocking and exiting, leaving Han in the bathroom. You held back tears as you rushed through the apartment, heading for the door but nearly fell back when you ran straight into someone.

Looking up, you were greeted by the smile of your best friend, a smile that dropped almost instantly as he noticed your state. "Whoa, what happened?" he asked, looking you over. You gave him a weak smile. "I'm just not feeling well," you answered.

Felix immediately launched into concerned mode, feeling your forehead and cheeks. "You want me to get you some medicine?" he asked as he guided you to the kitchen to get some water. You shook your head. "It's okay. I think I just want to go home."

Felix shook his head. "Nonsense," he scoffed. "You can just sleep in my bed with me-," he began but you cut him off. "No offense, Lix, but I really just want to go home." His face fell a little but he seemed to understand. He loved his bed very much and knew how much you loved yours.

"Then let me walk you," he offered but you shook your head again. "You're too drunk," you countered. "I'll be fine. I'll text you the moment I get home."

You saw, over his shoulder, Han emerge from the hallway and you hastily added an "I promise."

Felix didn't have the opportunity to respond as you kissed his cheek and darted for the front door, yanking it open and stepping out into the hallway. Once the door shut behind you, it was much easier to breathe. You were grateful the elevator was already on the same floor as you stepped onto the lift and rode it down to the lobby.

You were able to make it from the lobby to your bus stop and from the bus station to your apartment in what seemed like record time.

Once in the comfort of your apartment, you sent Felix a text that you got home safely as you started to undress. After getting into your pajamas, you noticed you had some messages from discord. They were all from Han, apologizing and pleading with you to come back.

It was too late now. You were at home and in bed.

Turning your phone on Do Not Disturb, you flipped it screen down and rolled over on your bed, pulling the covers up to your chin. You'd given in to your stupid temptation and really screwed up but one question remained: how much did you screw up?

It had been a couple days since the party and the incident between you and Han in the bathroom and suffice it to say, you could not get him out of your mind.

The way his fingers felt as they moved in and out of you, his lips against yours and how he nipped and sucked on your skin, leaving behind the smallest of marks you had to cover with makeup.

You could vividly remember how he sounded as he begged you, how his hips moved, bucking into your touch to chase his own high. You felt absolutely awful for leaving him so close to orgasm but you panicked. You were in the bathroom in the middle of a party.

You were terrified that someone was bound to notice that you left the bathroom and then Han left shortly after and word would get back to Felix but he never said anything. Maybe you were okay.

Han had texted you a handful of times that night, alternating between apologizing and begging you to let him come see you.

You left them unanswered because you knew it would be a mistake. You had both been drinking and you chalked your encounter up to that reason. You were drinking and alcohol makes you horny.

That's all there was to it. It had to be.

You heard your phone buzz in your desk drawer and chose to ignore it. You had approximately half an hour left at work before you could clock out and return home for the weekend and hide in your apartment.

You didn't often go into the office as your job was more remote work than anything but occasionally you were required to come in for meetings with potential clients and for quarterly meetings.

You glanced at the clock on your desk, sitting next to the framed photo you had of you and Felix during your last trip to Australia. His smiling face reminded you of why you couldn't own up and tell him that you'd slept with his roommate.

It wasn't like this was the first time you'd done something like this.

[flashback to a few years back]

You woke up, blinking away the sleep as you peered around your surroundings and took in where you were. It was a bedroom you didn't recognize so you weren't sure whose it was.

As you attempted to roll over, you were stopped by a firm chest and realized an arm was draped over your waist. A rather muscular arm.

You glanced back and saw you were in bed with… Changbin.

Your heart raced as you tried to remember the events of the party from last night. It was mostly a haze but you suddenly remembered Felix joining a game of pong with some of his friends and you were left to your own devices and someone came up and asked why you weren't dancing.

That wasn't the first time you'd met Changbin but it was the first time you danced with him. As the night went on and you downed more drinks than you could keep track of, you could vaguely remember how simple conversation turned into more.

Changbin started whispering dirty things in your ear in an attempt to make you blush and fluster you but he didn't imagine you to say yes and agree to go back up to his room with him. And to be quite frank, neither did you.

It was still all a blur but you did remember kissing, stumbling, and pulling at each other's clothes. You remembered his head between your thighs, giving you some of the best head you'd ever had in your life and then the way he held you in place as he fucked you against the mattress. It was some of the best sex you'd had in college but the next morning you were horrified by what you'd done.

You'd slept with one of Felix's friends. You'd gotten stupid drunk and slept with Changbin. The gravity of the situation hit you the morning after as you tried to shimmy out from under Changbin's strong hold on you and slide out of his bed.

He grumbled sleepily as you managed to pull yourself free and started looking for your clothes from the night before. You found your panties and pulled them on before grabbing your jeans and pulling them on and started searching for your shirt, finding it clear over by the door.

You had just pulled it on when you heard Changbin mumble.

"Where you going?"

You looked up at him, he was propped up on his elbow, looking at you from under a mop of fluffy, wavy dark hair with sleepy eyes. His face was slightly puffy from sleeping and a small pout was on his lips. "Oh, I was just…" you trailed off as he sat up fully.

"Trying to sneak out?" He asked with a smirk. "Sorry," you murmured. Changbin shook his head, falling back onto the bed, the covers bunched at his waist. "I was hoping we could go for round two this morning," he said softly as he stretched his arms over his head. You grimaced at the soft tone in his voice.

He was a right contrast from last night, whispering dirty things in your ear as his hand wandered between your thighs and over your ass. "I don't know," you replied, drawing your bottom lip between your teeth. Changbin rolled onto his side, resting his head in his hand. "You weren't this shy last night," he noted.

He was right. As the events of the night prior came back, you could remember flirting back and even whispering some of the dirty thoughts you had as well. You were already screwed, having slept with Changbin once. What was one more round?

[present time]

Felix hadn't been entirely upset with you sleeping with Changbin in college. He'd just ask that you not do it again as he laughed and waved off your concern. And yet, here you were. Doing it again.

Granted, it wasn't like you knew Han was his friend and roommate before sleeping together. You'd never met the guy before. So Felix couldn't fault you entirely for the way things happened.

Could he?

You sighed again, eyes still on the photo. It was one of your favorite memories, spending most of the day at one of the many beaches in Sydney after meeting up with Felix’s sisters.

The buzzing of your phone pulled your attention back to your work and you shook your head as if trying to shake the thoughts from your head. You had work in front of you to finish. You couldn’t afford to daydream about the past.

Han sighed, staring at his phone screen, the most recent messages he sent you staring back at him pathetically. ‘Man, you really fucked this up, didn’t you?’

He hadn’t planned on coming to the bathroom during the party. He didn’t know what came over him but the moment you opened the door, he acted before his brain could catch up.

His body acted on instinct alone, pushing all rational thought from his mind. He wanted you so bad and the alcohol wasn’t helping either. Neither did the short skirt you wore that was so easy to slip his hand under.

He’d been fully ready to bend you over the sink and take you right there, fueled by his lust for you and the drinks he’d had. That had to be it, right?

And as quickly as it started, it ended. He never did find out who was banging on the door. If he had, he was sure he would have given them a piece of his mind.

When he’d managed to compose himself and exit the bathroom, he didn’t see anyone waiting to use the bathroom and he cursed whoever interrupted. By the time he managed to squeeze through the crowd back into the living area, he saw you heading for the door but wasn’t fast enough to catch you.

Even weaving through the crowd and slipping out into the hall proved to be fruitless, the elevator doors shut before he managed to reach them and just like that, you were gone.

He returned to the party, having half a mind to head to your place but he didn’t want to push any boundaries. He resorted to texting you, begging you to come back or offering to go to you to finish what you both started.

His texts went unanswered and he wondered if he’d crossed a line with you but he remembered that your hand was in his pants. You had to have wanted it as much as he did. If that was true, then why were you avoiding him?

Han groaned, flipping his phone face down as Felix entered the apartment through the front door. His roommate eyed him curiously, noticing the phone on the kitchen island that Han currently sat at.

“Everything alright?” Felix asked as he slipped his shoes off and headed into the kitchen, setting the black plastic bag he carried on the counter. Han lifted his head from his arms and gave his roommate a guarded look.

“You remember that girl I hooked up with a while ago?” He asked. ‘Your best friend.’

Felix nodded. “The one who let you restrain her?” Felix asked, opening the plastic bag and pulling out the items he’d picked up from the store on his way home. Han nodded as he watched Felix. “Yeah,” he answered.

“Is she still ignoring your messages?” Felix asked, turning to look at him. Han nodded again, silently as he picked at the peeling black polish on his nails. “I’m sorry man,” Felix said with a sigh as he put the beef he’d purchased away.

“I know you said you really liked her.”

Han nodded again. “I do really like her,” he murmured as Felix put the plastic bag away to recycle. “Even when she doesn’t answer your messages?” He asked, leaning on the counter.

Han nodded yet again. “Even then, I still really like her.”

Felix let out another deep sigh, letting his head drop before he gathered his thoughts and stood up straight. “Then call her.”

Han’s gaze snapped up to meet his roommates. “Or better yet,” Felix said with a smirk. “You know where she lives. Go see her.” Han shook his head furiously. “No. I think that would cross a line. Especially if she doesn’t want to see me.”

Felix frowned as Han continued picking at his nails. “Then just call her. The worst she can do is not pick up.” Han sighed, still looking dejected. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Felix stared at his roommate, unsure of how to help him.

They had gotten pretty close before moving in together so Felix clearly cared about him. He’d hoped that meeting you would make Han forget about the ghost girl and focus instead on you. That was his entire reason for introducing the two of you in the first place.

Felix turned and moved to the pantry, opening the door and stepping inside to find the one thing he knew might cheer his friend up. He found the box on a shelf in the back, hiding behind the cans of soup and grabbed it.

He returned to the kitchen, setting the box down on the counter with a loud thud and smiled at Han as he looked up. Han’s eyes widened comically as he looked at the box and back up at Felix a small smile on his face.

Brownies.

Felix did most of the work. Normally he’d make brownies from scratch but he didn’t have all the ingredients he needed and this was an emergency. Han mostly watched as Felix mixed the batter together and only helped when it was time to pour and put the pan in the oven. He also helped clean up by licking the cake spatula while Felix washed the bowl.

“Can I ask you something?” Felix asked as he dried the bowl while Han sat on the kitchen island reading the tub of icing. Han looked up at him. “Hmm?” He hummed in response as Felix put the now dry mixing bowl away and turned to face him.

“What do you think of Y/N?” Felix watched as Han’s cheeks turned pink and he suspected his hunch was right. “Why do you ask?” Han asked, turning his focus back to the tub of chocolate icing.

Felix shrugged, moving to take the tub from him. “I mean, you two seemed to get along at the party and I’ve been trying to introduce the two of you for a while now,” he answered, setting the icing on the counter and looking up at Han.

Despite the pink in his cheeks, Han shrugged. “She seems cool. To be honest, we didn’t get to talk much,” he answered. “Minho was all over her for getting him that drink and then she was with Jeongin and his friends after that.”

There was something in Han’s voice. Something Felix had a hard time deciphering but it sounded an awful lot like jealousy. “Y/N and Jeongin are just friends,” Felix said as he shifted his weight to his other foot, leaning against the counter next to Han. “Oh? Well, she was also pretty cozy with Yeonjun.” Han pouted.

Felix nodded, fighting the urge to smile. ‘Yep. That’s jealousy.’

“Yeah. Yeonjun was kind of all over her but I don’t think there’s much there,” Felix replied. “Yeonjun isn’t exactly Y/N’s type.” Han glanced at Felix, quiet for a moment before asking. “What’s her type?”

Felix let the smile spread this time as he looked at his friend. “Why? Are you interested?” He asked.

The way Han sputtered and vehemently denied it told Felix everything he needed to know. Han liked you and he was more determined than ever to hook the two of you up. Whatever it took.

The clock read half past five when you finally left the office, purse in hand as you exited the elevator into the lobby. You were extremely grateful you wouldn’t have to return to the office again for a while and would be able to do the rest of your work from the comfort of your own home.

The trip home was uneventful, taking the bus to the train station and riding that to your stop. You often wished you could afford an apartment in one of those nice high rises near your job but it was just too expensive.

Upon arriving home, you removed your shoes, cursing as you put them away, glad to not have to wear those again for a while. You decided on the way home to stop and grab something to eat rather than make something.

Going into the office was much more taxing than you remembered.

Once changing out of your uncomfortable office attire, you settled on your couch with your food, a glass of wine, and turned on your tv to watch the latest episode of the show you were currently obsessed with.

You wondered if Felix was caught up and looked around for your phone before remembering you left it in your purse. Grumbling, you got up and set your food on the coffee table, walking over to where you left your purse on the counter to reach inside and grab your phone before returning to your seat.

As you unlocked the screen, your eyes fell on the latest notification from Han.

Hanji: if you want me to stop messaging you, i will.

You quickly pulled up his messages and scrolled up to read the ones he’d send since the party.

Hanji: please don’t shut me out again Y/N Hanji: i had no idea you were Felix’s best friend Hanji: did you know? Hanji: i mean, you must have Hanji: that’s why youve been avoiding me? Hanji: right? That has to be why Hanji: unless i did something wrong? Hanji: if i did i’m really sorry Hanji: please answer me baby Hanji: i’m so sorry. My head is all fucked up rn Hanji: all i can think about is you Hanji: all i’ve been able to think about is you Hanji: y/n please can we just talk about this? Hanji: about what happened last night? Hanji: if i crossed a line, i’m really sorry but unless i’m an idiot, it seemed like we both were into what happened Hanji: i’m not mad. I just don’t understand why you keep pushing me away Hanji: god this really sucks. I really liked talking to you and then we had some of the most mind blowing sex and you just disappeared Hanji: then you showed up again and then the thing in the bathroom happened and now you’re not talking to me again Hanji: not that you were talking before. Fuck now i’m rambling. Hanji: look. I’m really sorry. I’m sorry if i crossed any lines. I’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable and i’m sorry for anything i might have done to offend or hurt or upset you. Hanji: if you want me to stop messaging you, i will.

You let out a sigh, your food and television forgotten as you typed a reply.

You: you have nothing to apologize for Han. It’s my fault. When I invited you over, I had no idea you were Felix’s roommate. If I had known, I never would have invited you over. You: i promise you didn’t make me uncomfortable. I’m more mad at myself for slipping up. I told myself after i found out you were Lix’s roommate that we couldn’t continue. We can’t continue. regardless of how i feel, we can’t keep going You: i had no intention of seeing you again after learning who you were but Felix lied to get me to come to the apartment and force us to meet. I’m sorry for coming into your home and if i made you uncomfortable in anyway it was not my intention You: i’m sorry for the way i left but i panicked. I was afraid we were going to get caught.

Your eyes widened as you saw the familiar three dots appear as Han typed a response. It was then you noticed the read receipts on your messages. Before you could close the app, his reply popped up.

Hanji: why didn’t you just tell me? I’ve been beating myself up over this when all i really wanted to do was talk to you Hanji: I know it hasn’t been long since we met, but i really like you y/n Hanji: why are you so afraid of getting caught? We’re adults y/n. we can sleep together if we want to. It’s not about Felix You: you didn’t know Lix in college, did you? Hanji: no but why does that matter? You: because this isn’t the first time ive hooked up with one of his friends… Hanji: …your answer to the game at the party. You: yes. There were two people in that circle i’ve slept with Hanji: so me… who else? You: god this is so embarrassing. talking about my sexual history Hanji: i’m not going to judge you y/n You: …it was changbin. Hanji: yoooo really? You: stop! 😫 Hanji: sorry 😶 but really? You: yeah. It was back in college. We were both drunk at a frat party. He asked me to dance and one thing led to another and yeah… You: i felt so awful and guilty when i finally told felix. He says he wasn’t upset but i still felt awful. Hanji: did you know changbin and felix were friends when you and changbin slept together? You: yes. Which is why i felt so bad Hanji: then its different with us. You: how? Hanji: you didn’t know felix and i were roommates. You hadn’t met me yet. You: …i mean. I guess thats true Hanji: you only found out afterwards. How did that happen by the way? You: i was doing my laundry and felix brought up the subject of my… kink. He mentioned he had a friend who recently hooked up with someone and did the same thing i mentioned i liked Hanji: you and felix talk about your sexual kinks? You: i mentioned it when i was drunk. Hanji: ahh. Checks out. I did that too. But wait. He mentioned his friend? You: yeah. So he asked if i was interested in meeting his friend and i said i wasn’t sure so he pulled up their instagram… Hanji: no. Fucking. Way You: yes. He said you had hooked up with a girl recently and tried the whole anon sex and restraint thing and well.. i guess he was talking about us. Hanji: i’m sorry but i’m laughing right now You: why are you laughing??? This is mortifying! Hanji: what are the odds??? I mention to my roommate one time that i hooked up with a strange woman i met online, had some of the best sex ever and this whole time, it was his best friend. You: …it’s not funny 😩 Hanji: it’s a little funny You: 😠 is not Hanji: 🤏 just a bit You: wait a second… Hanji: ??? You: did you say you liked me? Earlier? Hanji: scroll up babe. I did You: … Hanji: and i’ve been dying to know You: …if i like you too? Hanji: yes. It’s been eating at me. You: why? Hanji: uh because i like you, you dork

When you didn’t respond, he continued.

Hanji: so do you? Hanji: like me? You: …yes Hanji: oh thank god. I was holding my breath and about to die You: but it doesn’t change anything Hanji: what? Why the hell not? You: because you’re Lix’s roommate and i’m his best friend. Hanji: look, forget felix for a second. Pretend like he’s not there. Hanji: what do you want? Do you like me? You: yes Hanji: do you want me? You: Han… Hanji: felix has been snapped from existence, okay? Thanos style snap Hanji: he doesn’t exist. Never did. Hanji: do you want me? You: …yes. Hanji: how bad do you want me? You: so fucking bad Han Hanji: yeah? You want me to touch you? You: yes. Fuck i want you to touch me so bad Hanji: want my hands all over you You: i want your hands all over me, Han Hanji: fuck, you’re making me want to come over You: you can’t Hanji: why not? You: because it’s late Hanji: hasn’t stopped me before Hanji: Felix won’t notice. He’s too engrossed in his phone to ask. Hanji: let me come over and make you feel good baby Hanji: please after last time, i can’t get you out of my head.

You were about to respond when your phone buzzed, a text from Felix flashing across the top of the screen.

Lixie: are you busy? You: uh. Not really Lixie: 👀 oh? Am I interrupting something? You: it’s nothing. What are you up to? Lixie: well i was gonna invite you to come over and watch this movie with Jisung and i but he just said he was going to bed so maybe another time >: You: lol it’s also pretty late Lixie: yeah. I didn’t think this through but while i have you here can i ask you something?

Your eyes caught sight notifications from Han at the top of your screen as you tried to focus on the texts from Felix.

You: i was actually about to head to bed Lixie: awww ): another time then. Don’t wanna keep your bed waiting You: lmao shut up. I’ll text you tomorrow Lixie: sweet dreams y/n~ You: u too Lixie

You pulled Han’s messages back up.

Hanji: please? 🥺 Hanji: baby? Where did you go? Hanji: i’m in bed now. I’d rather be in yours though 😫 You: sorry. Lix texted me lol Hanji: i figured that’s what happened. What did he want? You: to invite me over for a movie but you went to bed so he changed his mind. Hanji: if i go back out there will you come over? 👀 You: no??? Hanji: ): but babyyyyy You: if i came over now i’d have to spend the night Hanji: 👀 im not entirely against the idea You: in Felix’s room Hanji: aww booooo why? You: why would i sleep in your room? Hanji: well, we wouldn’t be sleeping baby (; You: …and just like that, felix would know everything Hanji: boooo 😑 fine. Then let me come over. You: but you said you were going to bed. Felix might think you’re up to something if you leave now Hanji: goddamn it… Hanji: guess i’ll have to settle for this then You: for what? Hanji: [image]

You tapped on the image and nearly dropped your phone.

You weren’t expecting anything but the sight of Han’s hand curved over the outline of his obvious erection sent a wave of heat and blood rushing to your core.

You quickly got up from the couch, cleaning up your food, downing the rest of your wine before heading to your room and climbing into bed. As you settled against the cushions on your bed, Han sent another message.

Hanji: you wanna see more? Hanji: all you have to do is ask baby You: jfc Han. Warn me next time 😫 Hanji: haha no can do baby You: i was sitting on my couch all unassuming Hanji: are you still on your couch? You: no. I’m in bed now Hanji: let me see

You turned your camera on, snapping a picture of your thighs, tiny sleep shorts and all to send to him.

Hanji: fuck. Send me another You: no u first Hanji: be careful what you wish for baby

You giggled as you waited for Han to send another picture. This time it was his hand disappearing into his pants.

Hanji: more? You: hmmm. whatcha reaching for? 🤔 Hanji: oh when i get my hands on you next…

You bit your lip in anticipation as he no doubt snapped another picture which appeared quickly. You opened it and your mouth watered at the sight of his hard cock in his hand. You pressed your thighs together and quickly typed a response.

You were in the middle of typing when your phone buzzed with the notification of a call from discord. Han was calling you.

You scrambled to answer it.

“H-hello?” Your voice was shaking but on the other end, Han was just as breathless. “You like those pictures?” He asked, half amused.

“Mhmm. I did,” you answered, settling back into your pillows. “It’s been a bit since I’ve seen you,” you added. Han chuckled, a soft sigh leaving his lips. “Are you… touching yourself right now?” You asked.

Han fell silent before answering. “Are you not?”

You shook your head. “No, actually. Not yet,” you answered, moving your hand to rest on your thigh. “Jumped the gun, sorry about that, baby,” Han replied, making you smile, biting your bottom lip to hold in a giggle.

“Do you need an incentive?”

“Hmm what will you give me?” You were teasing him now but Han couldn’t be bothered to care. “Whatever you want, baby,” he answered, his hand moving slowly as he stroked himself, listening to the sound of your breathing.

“Whatever I want?” You repeated him. “Yes. Whatever you want, baby.”

“Hmm, send me a video?”

Fuck, you were going to be the death of him.

“Why don’t I just video call you?” He asked, moving his hand a little faster. “What if that’s not what I want?” You asked, making him pout. “Why ask for a video when you can watch me live, baby?” He asked.

You fell silent this time. He hesitated, thinking he might have gone too far before his phone buzzed. You had started a video call. Han flipped his camera feed around before turning it on. He was greeted by your face in the neon pink lights of your room. “Hey gorgeous,” he said with a smirk.

A shy smile crossed your face. “Hey,” you replied. “You really aren’t touching yourself?” Han asked, clicking his tongue when you shook your head. “You said you’d give me an incentive,” you reminded him. Han drew his bottom lip between his teeth before answering.

“I did, but I don’t think you’ve earned it.” Your laugh made his heart beat erratically. “That’s not how incentives work, Han,” you answered. He smiled sheepishly. “How about you show me what you’re doing?”

Han glanced down at his hand wrapped around his cock and then back up to the screen. “Is that incentive enough?” He asked. You tilted your head playfully. “We’ll see.” He rolled his eyes, letting out a groan before he complied, tilting the screen down so you could see his hand moving up and down his shaft.

He only gave you a small preview before tilting the screen back up.

“Good enough?” He asked. You smiled and moved, the screen a blur for a moment as you set your phone down. Han slowed his hand and watched as you reappeared. You had propped your phone up and were now sitting in front of it.

He watched as you sat back on your heels, hands moving to the bottom of your sweatshirt, playing with the hem. “You gonna strip for me?” He asked softly, keeping his eyes on his phone screen.

You slowly lifted the sweatshirt, exposing your stomach first and then pulled it off over your head swiftly, leaving you in your shorts and a lacy bralette that glowed in the neon pink lights. Han let out a groan as you leaned in a bit closer.

“Keep going, baby,” he rasped. “Give me a show.”

You smiled at him through the screen. “Only if you give me one.”

Han moved at the speed of light, setting his phone up on his bed to the side of him. “Better?” He asked softly as his fingers wrapped around his cock and resumed stroking. You nodded wordlessly and sat back up.

Han watched as your thumbs tucked under the waistband of your shorts and slowly pushed them down, sitting up on your knees to remove them. Your panties matched the bralette and Han nearly moaned at the sight of you kneeling on your bed, knees spread in the pink glow of your room.

“Don’t tease me, baby girl,” he groaned. He watched as your hands moved, sliding slowly up your thighs from your knees. One hand moved up to your chest, grabbing your tit over the lace as the other drifted slowly between your thighs.

“Fuck I wish I was there,” Han groaned, his head falling back against his pillows for a moment before he looked back at the screen. In the time between, you’d removed your panties and were now sitting with your thighs spread, giving him a front row seat to your glistening sex.

“Go on,” he said. “Touch yourself for me.”

Your hand traveled down between your thighs, fingers slowly playing with your clit before dipping down to your slit. Instead of sinking your fingers into your entrance, you pulled them back up, spreading your labia for him to see just how wet you were.

“Fuck,” he groaned, hand squeezing himself and imagining it was your cunt.

“Finger yourself for me baby, go on,” he instructed, almost growling when two of your fingers disappeared inside your wet heat. The moan that came out of you as your fingers curled inside you was almost enough to tempt him into leaving his room and going to your apartment.

He wanted to be there so badly. He wanted his fingers moving slowly in and out of your tight hole. He wanted to finger you slowly, torturously until you begged him to fuck you. “Keep going,” he urged. “Faster,” he added. “I know you can take it.”

Han watched as your hand moved faster, fingers disappearing inside your cunt with a loud, wet squelching sound not unlike when he fingered you at the party.

“Fuck, I really wish I was there now,” he groaned. “If I was there, I’d have you spread out on that pretty comforter as I fucked you.” You moaned loudly, spurring him on. “And I’d mark that pretty neck. Cover it so everyone knows you’re mine.”

His possessiveness was coming out but he couldn’t be bothered to care and judging by the way your hand moved faster, you didn’t seem to mind.

“Han,” you gasped out his name, fingers curling as you no doubt tried to reach the spongy spot he’d reached before, the spot that had your thighs shaking around his hand as he coaxed your orgasm out of you.

“That’s it sugar,” he grunted, fucking his fist faster. “Just like that. Keep going.”

You let out a breathy moan, the heel of your hand rubbing against your clit as your fingers curled more, attempting to reach that sweet spot. “Hannie, I’m close,” you whimpered. “You gonna cum for me baby?” He asked, his own high approaching rapidly. You nodded, teeth sinking into your bottom lip.

“I’m gonna cum,” you moaned. “Do it,” Han encouraged. “Be a good girl and cum all over those fingers. Pretend they’re mine. Cum for me baby girl.”

Your thighs shook, body shuddering as you moaned, fingers still moving as you rubbed your clit with the heel of your hand. “Hng Hannie~” you whined as your orgasm washed over you in waves.

Watching you come undone pushed Han over the edge, cursing and groaning as he came, painting his stomach with his release. His hand continued to stroke himself, making sure to get every last drop.

Han glanced over to his phone, breathing heavily. You had fallen back against your pillows, chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath. Taking the moment to grab a few tissues, Han cleaned himself off, stuffing his cock back in his pants before he wiped his hands and grabbed his phone. “Babe?” He called softly.

“You alright?”

You stirred slowly, rolling onto your side before sitting up and leaning forward. “‘M okay,” you murmured, smiling tiredly at him. Han returned the smile before letting out a sigh. “That was amazing,” he finally said, making you hide your face in your sheets before you looked back up. “Yeah. Would have been better if you were here though.”

Han tilted his head playfully. “Next time?” He asked, hopeful. You smiled at him again. “We’ll see,” you answered softly. “It’s getting late,” you commented, squinting at the screen, no doubt looking at the clock in the corner.

Han checked his. You were right. It was well past midnight. “I don’t want to hang up,” he murmured, watching you through the screen. “Me neither,” you admitted just as softly. “We could just stay on the phone?” He asked. You nodded before sitting up quickly. “Let me put some clothes back on.”

Han whined as you disappeared. “You could always just stay naked!” He reminded you, making you laugh off screen. A moment later, you reappeared in a long tee, shifting to lay on your side with your phone propped up against the pillows.

“I wish I was next to you,” Han whispered, watching you through the screen. “Me too.” You nodded as you spoke. “Ugh, I just wanna hold you,” Han whined. “And kiss you.” Your smile widened as he spoke. “Yeah?” You asked.

Han nodded. “Yes. I just want to hold you so tight and kiss you. All over that cute face,” he answered, making you giggle. “Next time,” you murmured, making him smile. “Next time?” He asked again excitedly, heart hammering when you nodded.

“Yeah, next time.”

[bylertruther]

no cause the last anón is so right. I scrapped a 50k byler fic because I actually got worried people might call me weird or a freak like they do others. I was on twitter when the whole fiasco went down and it pissed me off but if you even tried to speak there were so many accounts saying you were “speaking over minors” and calling you a predator/pedophile. So many of my moots deactivated bc of the hate- they eventually started attacking people for their ages alone saying it was weird that 20 year olds theorized and talked about byler. Literally word for word “you’re a freak if you’re 20 and read byler fics. Why are you fantasizing about two little 14 year old boys making out” if they would take a step back and think that maybe people are so interested in this relationship is bc they see their younger selves in these two characters then maybe they wouldn’t say such stupid shit. Anyway sorry for ranting I just have been fuming since that whole thing happened. I just wish they would take a step back and stop and think about why they see a kiss between two boys written and immediately shout creep.

oh no, anon! i'm so sorry to hear about your fic & your experience. i hope you feel comfortable enough to post it one day, if you still want to. 🥺 and don't ever apologize for expressing yourself!

not to be a cunt, but i am a cunt, so, ahem. from the bottom of my heart... fuck them kids. 🫶 i literally do not give a single shit about any of the ""discourse"" they inflict on us all. "speaking over minors" why are you even speaking to begin with, huh? 🤨 why are you buzzing into an adult's space and picking a fight when a) literally no one fucking asked you to, and b) you're just going to cry "waaaaah but i'm a minorrr :(" as if you're somehow the victim in this situation after they dare to defend themselves against your serious and unsupported allegations? be normal or piss the fuck off and do your homework.

and why do people take them seriously? disregarding the fact that anyone of any age can be a shipper & the awful homophobia laced in such rhetoric...

this is the internet. no one owes you shit & the wild web will never, ever cater to you. you need to curate your own space and protect yourself. this is, like.. basic shit. like, bare-fucking-bones basic shit. it's not anyone else's responsibility but your own. they taught me that in school, my parents told me that, and also i have a functioning brain that can come to that conclusion, too. people need to stop pretending like what these people are asking for—which is your silence and your shame—is reasonable. it's not. content gets tagged, there are multiple extensions to blacklist any tags you don't like, some of it gets put behind a privacy wall, block buttons exist, many websites have filtering options, and so on and so forth. there are multiple measures people can take to both find things and avoid them. and a lot of the time, content is something you have to seek out yourself. so, if you don't like it, why did you click on it? why spend any time on it when you could've just backspaced? how is your ineptitude anyone else's problem?

also, people need to stop throwing the words pedophilia, pedophile, and predator around. you're being an insensitive jackass when you do that. someone writing about two fictional characters is not abusive scum of the fucking earth. you're watering those acts down and showcasing your ignorance for the world to see when you throw their names around carelessly. a child predator does awful, sinister, repulsive things to real life people who did not deserve that. someone writing a first kiss or practice kissing fic is not anywhere near that and i'm tired of people pretending like this is an okay thing to say or even think. just shut the fuck up and stop saying those words if you don't actually understand the gravity of what they mean.

another thing: a lot of these people aren't just kids. grown folk fall for the same shitty rhetoric, too. it's all just groupthink and herd mentality. no one wants to get attacked so they just repeat the same shit without thinking about it beyond "protecting" themselves (which is senseless as well because conditional acceptance is not true acceptance, but i digress). this fandom would be in a much better place if people were willing to stand their ground and defend their friends when this stuff happens. it gets worse and worse if you just turn a blind eye to it and fall in line. we're all waking up and finally seeing the consequences of that now.

of course, this doesn't really apply to when you're getting attacked by hundreds of people. that's... just shitty and hard and demoralizing. i'm not victim-blaming, because no one wants to be on the receiving end of that and i know that you can't control what others do.

my argument is that it gets to that point because the fandom as a whole just lets it slide by never holding the right people accountable for their actions. they allow the needless bullying to happen. they allow the rhetoric to get crazier and crazier. they allow people to get fucking crucified for shit that isn't even remotely inappropriate. they reblog posts they don't believe in because they don't want to be the odd one out and get accused of something by someone with more followers than them. it's just... we, as a whole, need to support each other more and put our foot down when shit like that starts happening.

it isn't normal. it isn't okay. it hasn't ever been okay.

like... i KNOW that you KNOW that it isn't weird for them to kiss, for people to want them to kiss, or for people to make them kiss in their creations. i KNOW that you KNOW that it isn't weird for anyone of any age to enjoy a love story of any kind. we know these things. some of us just pretend like we don't online for whatever fucking reason. and i don't get it! i don't get why they would do that and willingly allow this place to become worse for it. you don't get anything good out of that.

also, a lot of those people are being trolls. they get a kick out of attacking people as a group, because that's the only time they feel brave and the only way they get attention in life. they don't think before they say things, because they don't see you as a human being—you're just pixels on a greasy screen. they use catchy social justice lingo to make what they're saying sound like something you should support, but at the end of the day, they're literally just gussying up the same right-wing shit we've been subjected to for ages. it's regressive rhetoric that's clear to see once you've allowed yourself to see it.

like, i agree with you. i do. you're absolutely, undoubtedly right in what you say, but... i just can't bring myself to argue that, because it's in response to what was a senseless attack to begin with. and we shouldn't need to defend ourselves and our communities against what isn't true.

homophobia, bullying, and trolling are irrational, illogical pursuits and i can't stand the idea of treating them with any ounce of seriousness in this context. to apologize would be to accept their absurdity and validate their accusations—accusations we know in our heart of hearts to be incorrect and baseless. and i won't ever do that! i won't give them that satisfaction and i wish others wouldn't either.

they keep doing this, because they haven't met any opposition yet, because we keep acting like we have any reason at all to feel shame for wanting stories about people like us, about something as basic and universal as love and connection. they don't care about our reasons. they don't care about our defense of ourselves. it's not ever about us. this is their cry for attention, good or bad, at our expense and they need to be starved out already.

like.. this is just unsustainable. it's mind-boggling and i remember kicking and screaming about it months ago in what felt like an empty room. and look at where we are now! we're already at the point where you can't win in any kind of way no matter what you do. you can't age them up, you can't leave them as they are, you can't ship them if you're older than eighteen, you can't write AUs, you can't write canon compliance, you can't write canon divergence, you can't make them kiss, you can't make them anything more than friends but you also can't make them not-friends, etc etc. we've officially been shoved into the "fuck it, we ball" stage, because this is a pissy fandom and you are never going to please everyone so you may as well just do whatever the fuck you want.

i sound soooooooo unbearably preachy in this response lol, but like... literally... all we have is each other! we all love byler and we're all here to have fun and find like-minded people. we can't keep acting like this in-fighting lunacy is reasonable and just a difference of opinion, or like it's based in any kind of sense at all. we know that it's okay to ship byler at any age. we know that it's okay to have fun and enjoy ourselves. these people want to make us feel bad. they want to silence us. why let them and give them that satisfaction? why is what they want more important than us and our happiness? i hate the idea of anyone ever feeling any kind of shame or fear over something as innocent as this. i hate the idea of them winning by getting into any of our heads like that. i just hate it.

now, this last bit is specifically for you, anon, but it goes for everyone else, too: please, please, please, i am holding your hand in both of mine and begging you to not let anyone take away the things that you love and bring you joy or your wonderful creations that you've put so much of yourself into. i promise you that there will always be people who will see you, understand you, and cherish what you have to offer, and they are the ones that matter most (after you of course hehe). we all have to find our people and just go crazy together and block out everything else. that's the only way to get through this without getting burnt out. 💛💙

[zeebreezin]

Introduction • Updated 06/05/24

Hello hello, this is Astra! Welcome to my Fallen London side blog, I’m still somewhat new to the game but I’ve played a good bit of Sunless Seas and am always down to learn more about the world. This blog is heavily focused towards OCs, both mine and others, as well as my liveblog of my playthrough! According to some I’ve become the Sequencer Guy (™), which is a title I'm more than willing to bear. I’m working through a Nemesis route character as we speak and have just started a Light Fingers PC! Shaw’s (Nemesis) playthrough can be found at #low level liveblog, and B’s (Light Fingers) is at #b’s bizarre adventure.

If you ever have questions about my characters or want to interact, shoot me an ask or DM! I love talking and I love hearing about other people’s creations, but I have a pretty bad memory for conversations & replies!!

I’m a writer and digital painter, and am much more comfortable with more atmospheric / background work compared to portraiture & drawing people in general, but I’ve been trying to branch out. I also tend to make jokes that can lean in dirty directions, but I won’t be reblogging any IRL NSFW. There might be discussions of kink & sexual topics, but I’ll keep those tagged under #suggestive and they shouldn’t be too frequent. I’m also chronically bad at tagging spoilers or triggers, so please let me know if you need anything I will do my best.

One last important note here - like I mentioned before, I have a lot of characters involved with the New Sequence & the Dawn Machine, and I do my best to portray semi-realistic elements of how cults function & can impact people in them. If you are at all uncomfortable with those kinds themes of religious abuse, please please please feel free to blacklist those character & relationship tags!! I will not judge you whatsoever, Stay safe!

With all that said, Character stuff under the cut! Hope you have a great day today!

Ambition Characters:

The Black Rook | The Long-Suffering Linguist - August Shaw

He/They - Mid 40s - Nemesis! - Philology Professor & Midnighter - Watchful | Dangerous

Account: AugustShaw

A professor of Philology by trade, Shaw is a prickly character who has a mildly extreme obsession with the various languages of the Neath, a fascination that’s gotten them into a good deal of trouble… and left them with a few strange quirks. He's driven by the need to get revenge after his daughter’s death, and puts on a face of absolute pragmatism to do it. Desperate to give back to those on the surface he left behind, Shaw’s fallen in with the Great Game, becoming a spymaster for Black and working to uplift the marginalized from below… a trade he’s gotten a terrifying reputation for. Unscrupulous at the best of times, he is damn good at his job, when he’s not chasing a bit of escapism by any means necessary. While they’re seemingly a grumpy bastard, Shaw does have a big heart and a surprisingly bold sense of humour.

The Reckless Playwright - ‘B’

Any/They - Mid 20s - Light Fingers - Actor/Playwright - Persuasive | Shadowy

Account: BThePlaywright

B is an aspiring playwright and actor with their head in the non-existent clouds and a spring in their step. She always seems to be getting into a little bit of trouble, before charming his way out of it with a smile and a wide eyed look. Everything about their past is a bit of a mystery, though it can’t be denied that they have a good heart. While searching for cheap lodgings in London, B ended up with the (mis)fortune of becoming Shaw’s housemate and eventual investigative assistant. Their endless optimism hides a great deal of past horrors, as does their suitcase. They’re absolutely not wanted by the Navy for treason, either. Don't know why I had to specify that.

The Pragmatic Headhunter - Vivian Fitzpatrick

She/He/They - Bag a Legend - Bounty Hunter - Dangerous | Watchful

Shaw’s Ex-wife who came down to the Neath after he abandoned her and their still living son. After murdering her (now probably ex-) husband, Vivian developed a taste for the Neath. Both for the power they could achieve, and for the thrill of the hunt and battle. More than anything, he wants to prove herself to be more than the grieving mother the surface wanted her to be - by becoming something more feared than death itself. Harsh and openly hypocritical, Vivian’s on the fast track to becoming something terrible - but the question is, will she be able to bury the last of herself to do it?

Non-Ambition Characters:

The Ravenous Acumen - It/She - Killer for Hire / Killer for Hobby - Shadowy | Dangerous

A mysterious figure with a deeply warped body and equally warped sense of morality. After Acumen’s own hubris cost her everything, it devoted itself to killing arrogant or naive researchers that play with things they don’t understand. There’s far worse fates out there then death, after all. It speaks in riddles, lives for games, and has a bizarrely tender affection for anyone who gains her favor.

The Mournful Phantasm/The Chimeric Violinist - ‘Lenore Shaw’ - She/They - ??? - Persuasive | Dangerous

Once a dangerous Parabolan entity born from the thousands of false-selves created when mourners dream of lost loved ones, ‘Lenore’ found her way to reality entirely by accident, and truly believes she is Shaw and Vivian’s biological daughter. Gazing into the mirror glace that follows her reflects back the form of whoever or whatever you’ve lost that you miss most dearly. Not quite a reflection, but definitely not human, she currently resides in the Royal Beth, haunting its halls - though she may walk the streets soon enough.

The Phosphorescent Engineer - Officer Benedict Beverley - He/Him - Chief Engineer @ The Grand Geode - Watchful | Persuasive

The hot shot engineer and golden boy of the Grand Geode, Beverley is a sequencer who’s best known for his wonderful designs of prototype dawnlight explosives. Bastard. Deeply in denial. He’s desperate to test them out and bring the dawn to the population of London, but he’s even more desperate to recover his lost prototype… and find his missing partner. [Has a Sunless Skies verison - The Scintillating Harbinger!]

The Hell Scarred Surgeon - Dr. Laurence Frost - He/Him - Medical Officer & Interrogator @ The Grand Geode - Dangerous | Watchful

Veteran of the War on Hell in 68’ and currently a respected doctor & chemist within the New Sequence, Laurence is a deadpan bastard who loves his work. All of it. Known for having a relationship with Isobel & Vincent that led to him becoming Beverley’s legal guardian after their deaths, as well as having complicated feelings about the Grand Geode’s authority. As loyal as he is to the Sequence, he’s even more loyal to the Beverley family.

The Gregarious Commander - Commander Vincent Beverley - He/Him - Commander & Recruiter @ The Grand Geode - Persuasive | Dangerous

One of the New Sequence’s most prolific recruitment officers, Vincent was a conman looking to profit off the Admiralty in the years following London’s fall… but lost himself entirely in the process. Now he’s deeply in love with Isobel, the woman that ‘saved’ him, as well as his favorite doctor. He’s frighteningly good at charming souls into joining the Dawn Machine’s light, in order to ‘save’ them too. Charismatic, silly, & utterly empty inside. Died mysteriously when Beverley was young. [Dead as of FL canon!]

The Discreet Artificer - Isobel Beverley - She/Her - Former Engineer @ The Grand Geode - Watchful | Shadowy

A former engineer that helped build the Dawn Machine, Isobel lost the majority of her sight after venturing deep into the Machine’s heart to perform an emergency repair. The experience left her with even more of an undying love for the machine, and now with the aid of her husband Vincent as a figurehead, she’s been creating her own sect on the Grand Geode. A soft spoken woman with a knack for manipulation and collecting unwell spouses. Died mysteriously when Beverley was young. [Dead as of FL canon!]

Side Game PCs:

The Wide-Eyed Venturer - Doctor-Captain Everett Shaw-Fitzpatrick - SSkies PC - He/They - Captain of the Uncommon Denominator - Hearts | Mirrors

Shaw and Vivian’s son, who spent his teen years raised on stories of their adventures in the Neath. Now, he’s taken to the skies to make a story of his own, after a brief stint learning medicine in Vienna. He’s got all the smarts, but none of the cutthroat energy of his parents. What could go wrong?

Inactive Characters:

The Rake-In-Violant / The Malcontent Seamstress - Emile Rainier - He/She - Light Fingers - ‘Socialite’ / Thief - Shadowy | Persuasive

The Everdrowned Reaver - Captain Verily - Sunless Seas PC - She/They/It - Captain of the Double or Nothing - Irons | Hearts

Character Tags:

#August Shaw

#B

#Vivian Fitzpatrick

#The Ravenous Acumen

#Officer Beverley

#The Hell Scarred Surgeon

#The Gregarious Commander

#The Discreet Artificer

#Lenore Shaw

#Doctor Captain Everett

#The Rake In Violant

#Captain Verily

Character Relationship Tags:

August Shaw & B - #Detective duo

A depressed detective set on revenge and a lost playwright drunk on freedom take up lodgings together. A strangely charged and mildly codependent friendship.

August Shaw & The Manager of the Royal Bethlehem Hotel - #cuneiform curses

Yeah, it turns out being wracked with guilt and constantly going insane has some consequences! In Shaw’s case, the consequences are catching some complicated feelings for the hat man. Go figure.

August Shaw & Vivian Fitzpatrick - #(un)loveable hand

The bloodthirsty wife he abandoned and the self flagellating husband she swore to surpass. Extremely complicated divorced couple who’ve changed in more ways than one.

The Shaw-Fitzpatrick Family (August, Vivian, Lenore, Everett) - #in the blood

A family charged with sorrow, who all seem to have a tendency to wield their pain like knives. General tag for the family’s background, themes, and vibes.

August Shaw & The Ravenous Acumen - #worst laid plans

An endless game of cat and mouse - or at least, it should be, provided the killer can get her chosen opponent to survive what’s coming. Psychosexual mind games, and weirdly supportive ones at that.

B & Officer Benedict Beverley - #best and brightest

Two best friends, perfect partners, who build a maddening machine. One chose their own ambition over the other’s safety - but who’s who is up for debate. Neither is entirely happy with the outcome. Longing, Cults, and heartbreak, o my!

Laurence, Vincent, & Isobel - #photokeratitis

The almighty Sequencer Throuple. Forged in cult indoctrination and violently codependent tendencies, these three have a complicated but deeply loving relationship built on trust and communication. This is a bad thing.

Doctor-Captain Shaw-Fitzpatrick & Skies!Beverley - #horseshoes and hand grenades

The most dangerous Captain of Her Majesty’s fleet… and the traveler that just can’t help but ruin his day. Religiously. Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner type shit until one of them gets feelings about it.

B & Emile Rainier - #red letter days

Vivian Fitzpatrick & Emile Rainier - #arsenic and old lace

[distort-opia]

You're braver than me for mentioning Khoa and Joker parallel in this hellsite that very much hate Joker lol. Im holding myself back from pointing out the same thing everytime i read Khoa story in fear someone gonna attack me. But anyway what do you think are the differences between their relationship (ghostbat & batjokes) since they're quite similar with each other. Cause tbh with you the way many describe ghostbat here feel just like they're describing batjokes instead

Ngl, this is one of the things that both depresses me and pisses me off about the current state of fandom. It sucks to hear you're too afraid of getting attacked over expressing a personal opinion on a literal blogging platform, built for this express purpose... regarding fictional characters and within a fandom, which is supposed to be fun. The block button and the filtering options exist for a reason though; I tag my stuff accurately so that people can blacklist, and I don't mind if people block me (I'm quite liberal with it myself). It's just part of curating your little niche, so I definitely encourage doing the same, Anon. Besides, despite the hellsite having its downsides, I've interacted with very reasonable and fun people as well, who dislike Joker or Batjokes but are fully capable of treating others with maturity and respect.

That being said, I agree that Batjokes and Ghostbat share a lot of similarities. I guess that for some it affords the fascinations of this type of dynamic for Bruce without the baggage Joker's character would unavoidably bring (both within Universe, and within fandom). However, there's definitely some essential differences between Ghostbat and Batjokes. Perhaps the most important consequence of them is that unlike Batjokes, Ghostbat has significantly higher chances of not ending in tragedy.

The thing about Joker is that, despite how seemingly desperate for attention and in love with Batman he canonically is, he also... hates Bruce's guts. And I'm making the distinction between 'Batman' and 'Bruce' because Joker himself makes it. Joker needs Batman on a fundamental level. He perceives his own current identity as having been shaped and defined by Batman, and he sees Bruce, the person underneath the mask, as the source of potential weakness and a threat to the Bat's existence. That's because Joker thinks of his own humanity as useless and weak, having decided to discard it and stomp it out. He then proceeds to try and do the same with Bruce's. This has literally been their main conflict since Death of the Family onwards.

Khoa also takes issue with Bruce being driven by emotion. He also considers it a weakness-- Bruce's need to save people, his vigilantism having revenge at its roots instead of a desire to perfect an art. However, Ghostmaker wasn't a direct result of Bruce's actions (accidental or not), like Joker is. Khoa's identity is much more stable and independent, not irrevocably intertwined with Bruce's Batman to the pathological degree Joker's is; and as a result, he's less extreme about it. Khoa can allow for disagreement without resorting to destroying Bruce's life, whereas Joker (at least of now) cannot allow any compromises, any pause from conflict-- because he needs it. Khoa, however, is able to stop and make peace. He challenges Bruce and his need for control just enough, right up to the point of fully enabling Bruce's darkness and self-destructiveness. Joker never stops. He keeps escalating the trauma, the horrors; a pit of knives Bruce keeps throwing himself into.

In a way, shipping Ghostbat is indulging in a dynamic similar to Batjokes, but one that can have a happier ending. Bruce can be a person with Khoa, whereas Joker would tear vulnerability to shreds. The parallels between Joker War and Ghostmaker's introduction arc are so interesting to me also because they showcase this from the start. The final confrontation with Joker, in Batman (2016) #100, has Joker stab Bruce in the back and then almost cut his face off, talking about how he'd then have "to start from scratch." Joker is tearing everything down to have Bruce rebuild it-- alone. The final confrontation with Khoa also includes him telling Bruce he's not enough, he's weak, he needs to become stronger; it also includes being stabbed in the back, but while in a fair fight that has rules. And then Bruce wakes up to Khoa sowing up the wounds he himself inflicted.

That's the crucial difference between the ships, I would say. Despite their disagreements, Bruce and Khoa are on the same side, and Bruce can expect to survive showing weakness to Khoa. Joker is, paradoxically, on the side of Batman alone and also against Bruce. That's not to say it couldn't be different, and that a happier ending is impossible to imagine for them too-- but it's a lot more complicated. Personally, I enjoy Batjokes so much because of how difficult a relationship would be. It inevitably has to involve Joker allowing himself to be human (since otherwise he would not allow Batman to be) and that's such a heavy and complex deconstruction of trauma that's fascinating to delve into.

Hope this was interesting to read through! There's a lot more stuff to say about the differences between Khoa and Joker as characters and their brand of psychopathy, and how that impacts the dynamic with Bruce, but I'm waiting for Batman Inc. and their interaction there to see where DC takes it. (Please let it be good.)