#cabbage consulting

[trisscar368]

You absolutely need to realize that real people fiction is absolutely dehumanizing to real life people when you make up headcannons about them and turn them into fictional characters to jerk off to in fanfics. It is absolutely not ok in any way shape or form. and it is, actually, sexual harassment to make someone know "everyone" wants to jerk it to them.

How does RPF differentiate from AI porn art of actors? drawings depicting actors in sexual situations? because its words, its ok? because theyre a celebrity, they're not human and therefore public property to use their humanity however you please?

the complete lack of consideration of the real life person you are turning into a toy is so repulsive. the amount of youtubers alone who have had to come out and say how uncomfortable it makes them should be enough. You should not be acting until told not to; its something you should only do IF they very clearly condone it. but even then, the gall to ask someone "can I write a romance novel about you and who" is absolutely an offputting thing to ask of anyone.

No, not because "sex is taboo" but because forcing unwarranted things like that on absolute strangers, is sexual harassment.

Reading comprehension questions:

Did OP advocate for harassing celebrities in the original post?

No. The entire point of the post was listing out ways that fandom harasses celebrities and telling them to cut that shit out.

Did OP state that people should tell celebrities about their fantasies?

No. That is... quite literally antithetical to the original post. Fascinated how you're agreeing with so much of my post and yet falling so flat at the end.

Did OP say anything about their personal interaction with RPF that might have an impact on how seriously they can take this anonymous message?

Yes. OP mentioned in the post that rpf is a squick that they blacklist. OP is not mushing any celebrities together like toys, either literally or metaphorically. OP is almost wondering if you got them confused with some other cabbage on the internet.

Reading comprehension: 0/10

There is -- and this is the part that truly I cannot let slide without commentary -- an equivalency in your message between people having and talking about fantasies (RPF existing) and the act of harassment. Let's look at the definition of harassment really quick.

Repeated or continuing unconsented contact that would cause a reasonable individual to suffer emotional distress and that actually causes the victim to suffer emotional distress.

Key word there? Contact.

People in a youtube comment section telling the youtuber how sexy they are, or how cute they are with their co-host omg my ship is so squee? Harassment. Contact has been made, the people doing are in that creator's forum space. Do not pass go do not collect $200.

Someone unsolicitedly tagging the cast of a tv show in explicit rpf fic or explicit art on Instagram, xitter, tik-tok, etc? Harassment, that individual is initiating contact with the actor. Same way endless phone calls constitutes harassment.

Sending anything explicit to an actor's family? Waaaay harassment. Possibly stalking as well, depending.

Someone writing a fic on ao3? Not harassment. It's not being sent to the celebrity. There is no contact, the only way they know about it is to go looking themself or have a friend send it to them (and hey, don't be that friend unless you've asked if it's okay).

Explicit fanart posted in fandom spaces? Not harassment.

Fic and art that stays behind the fandom wall? When no contact is made, there is no harassment.

It is not the existence of the fantasy that causes problems, it's the celebrities constantly having to hear about it. That's harassment.

Art existing, fic existing, discussions or fantasies existing do not constitute harassment. Someone writing fanfic and sharing it with their friends is not forcing it onto the celebrity. Someone expressing a sexual desire to a third party is not forcing either the desire or the act on the celebrity.

Thoughts are not actions.

This is a hill I will die on. This is a hill we should all die on, honestly, but as a someone who grew up with OCD, the fact that my intrusive thoughts don't alter reality is really fucking important.

Being out in the sunlight will not kill my friends. Calling the wrong phone number will not result in my family dying over the following few days.

Having a sexual impulse, having desire, does not itself alter reality. Saying those thoughts out loud, admitting that someone is hot, that they have chemistry with a costar? Writing it down to share? Has as little impact on reality as the rituals I had to repeat endlessly as a kid to keep the Bad away.

RPF is not an act of assault. It is not, inherently, harassment.

Is fandom really bad at keeping the fourth wall up? Yeah. There are a lot of people who harass celebrities and think it's fine, because the celebrity is rich and they can just go cry into their money. (To be clear, I think that's bullshit.) But again, constantly, endlessly, it's what people do that matters.

“You’d have done the same,” said Lily. “No,” said Granny. “I’d have thought the same, but I wouldn’t have done it.” “What difference does that make, deep down?” “You mean you don’t know?” said Nanny Ogg.

[lale-txt]

❉ in a long-distance relationship ↳ w/ Nanami & Naoya (separate)

a/n: getting into my clown car because originally i was planning to write this for four characters in total, then i blinked and suddenly i had written over 2k words in headcanons and drabbles and decided to call it a day. i personally want to thank Nanami and Naoya for representing the both flawless and horrendous ends of the spectrum regarding my taste in fictional men ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

contains: headcanons are sfw & gn!reader, drabbles are ns.fw & afab!reader. i'll put individual warnings before each drabble later in the text.

word count: 2.3k

❦ 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈

the driest texter known to man

it’s not like Nanami won’t think of you and text you throughout the day, it’s more that his texts read as if they’re coming from your tax consultant rather than from the love of your life

“Arrived at the accommodation. Room is very clean. About to head out for work, will call you later tonight. Love you, K. PS: Heard Lawson has cabbage on sale this week.”

he’s never beating the old man allegations

it’s an obstacle that yours and his work often requires you both to travel and spend time apart, but to Nanami, once committed, long distance was never a reason for things not to work out between you

he keeps his promises and calls when he said he would, he sends you flowers when he can’t bring them back home in person and he orders you food when you’re having a rough day, staying on the phone with you while you eat and letting you vent if you need to 

when he misses you (which he always does), he lets you know. no matter how far apart, Nanami would never make you doubt if you’re on his mind and in his heart 

often he’d send you photos of his lunch or local specialities, sometimes photos from the local pigeons too when they’d pick up the crumbs of his sandwich at his feet

“Those two seem inseparable. Made me think of us. Miss your voice, will call you tonight. What are you having for lunch? Careful when you cut the cabbage.”

at night, after another draining day of fighting curses, the only thing keeping Nanami going is the prospect of hearing your voice over the speaker

he will close his eyes and imagine you snuggled up in bed while talking to him, waiting for him to come home, and oh, how badly he wants to be by your side and never let you go

cw: afab!reader (no pronouns used, 'cunt' and 'pussy' used to describe genitalia), phone sex, panty sniffing, masturbation (with said panties), dirty talk, breeding kink (no mention of pregnancy or babies), mention of: brat taming, mirror sex and hair pulling

“Sorry, love. Were you asleep already?”

Nanami’s voice is quiet, almost like an apology for calling you this late. He knows you’re always staying up and fighting your sleepiness, despite him telling you not to wait for him—he’s grateful you do though, because hearing your voice is the one thing that will get him through each day, no matter how long it drags on.

“Mhm, not quite yet,” you mumble into your phone and smile at the sound of his voice. “‘m all cozy in bed though, it still smells like you. Only missing your warmth.”

Nanami laughs quietly at the other end of the line. He has no problems imagining you right now, having the big bed you bought together all for yourself but still curling up on his side of the mattress, where his scent still lingers. He hums softly.

“That was quite the surprise I found in my pocket this morning.”

You hear some rustling sounds and a pair of pants getting unzipped, and the grin on your face widens. Putting your phone on speaker, you set it down on the pillow next to you and roll over on your back, feeling more awake now.

“Well? Did you like it?”, you coo.

“Loved it.”

The panties you slipped into Nanami’s jacket before he left are now dangling from his finger in the dim light of the bedside lamp. He picked them out for you a while ago and now you were simply returning the favor, knowing how lonely it can get on a solo mission. He closes his big fist around them and brings them to his face, inhaling your musk and making him groan quietly. His cock aches in his boxers, precum staining them slightly, but he doesn’t touch himself yet.

“God, I miss you,” he mutters after catching another whiff of your worn panties. “Want to taste you so badly, love. When I get home, I’ll have you sit on my face till your legs give out.”

You chuckle at the prospect of it. Wouldn’t be the first time.

“Did you touch yourself with my panties?”, you ask in a sultry voice and you can hear Nanami growl a little at the other end of the line.

“I’m doing it right now,” he replies in a husky voice, having his bottoms hastily pulled down his thighs and now fisting his cock with your panties wrapped around it. The fabric feels soft and expensive, and the thought of how they clung to your cunt when you soaked through them has his mind spinning circles.

“Good. I want to hear you cum,” you whisper, closing your eyes for a better imagination. “Tell me what you want to do with me when you’re back home.”

Nanami pumps his fat cock with one hand, the other holding his phone to his ear. He’s sprawled out in an armchair, head in the back of his neck, his eyes shut as well. His breath comes out raggedly.

“Gonna fill your pretty little cunt to the brim,” he mumbles. “Tongue, fingers, cock. Everything. Whatever you beg for, I’ll give it to you. Gonna pump you so full of my cum, you’ll have it ruin your panties for days, but you’d like that, don’t you?”

“Fuck,” you mewl at the other end of the line, kicking back the sheets and spreading your legs to touch yourself to his words. Your fingers reached nowhere as deep as Nanami's, but it was better than nothing.

“Gonna bend you over and fuck you on every flat surface in our house,” he rasps. “In front of the big mirror too, so you can see the faces you make when you cum on my cock. Wanna feel how tight you get when you’re milking me. As if you’re trying to remember the shape of my cock forever. Made for me, only me. And if you’re gonna be a brat, which I know you will, I’ll stuff your mouth with your panties and pull your hair till I fucked some obedience into you.”

Nanami groans; he is so close. Damn, if only you were here for him to bury himself in the warmth of your cunt. Your whimpering at the other end of the line and your panties wrapped around his cock as he pumps himself are enough to send him tumbling over the edge, a supernova of pent up lust and frustration unleashing within him. The silken fabric soaks up all of his cum, sticky and hot against his skin. He made a mess, but cleaning up was for later.

“You good, love?”, he asks in a raspy voice and can’t help but smile at the sound of your heavy breathing.

“Came so hard I saw stars a little,” you confess over the speaker and snicker. You’ll definitely have to change the sheets before Nanami gets home. As if you two wouldn’t ruin them anyway.

“Good, good,” he laughs. “Now sleep, dear, I kept you up for too long. I’ll be home tomorrow night, okay? Can’t wait to kiss you.”

❦ 𝐍𝐀𝐎𝐘𝐀

Naoya hates being apart from you and he doesn’t understand why you take on missions that require you to leave the Zen’in estate aka him

in his eyes, as his spouse there’s no need for you to work at all, you should just stay at home with him or accompany him on his business trips 

he can and he will yap about this while you pack your bags, while he drives you to the train station (he insists to escort you there himself), while carrying your luggage and even between goodbye kisses. seriously, this man never learned how to shut up in his entire life

the night prior, Naoya had made sure to leave plenty of hickeys all over your body, as a reminder who you belong to 

he’s clearly bored out of his mind without you around, your phone blowing up with text and voice messages from him, demanding your unrestricted attention and getting pouty when you don’t immediately reply to him

it’s not like Naoya is jealous or worried that you’d see someone else behind his back–his ego is too big to consider this even a possibility

he’s simply the undefeated champion in the pain in the ass competition 

he’ll act nonchalant when you call him once you’re back at your hotel, trying to sound as if he wasn’t pacing restlessly around all day until his phone finally lit up with your name on display

asking you about your day comes second, first you’ll have to listen to him whining how much it sucks without you around and that this’ll be the last time that he’s allowing you as your husband to go on a solo mission (he’s ignoring your unrestrained laughter about it), and that you’ll have to think of something to make it up to him on your way home which will be in 3 days, 11 hours and 27 minutes (he’s counting)

cw: afab!reader (no pronouns used, 'cunt' and 'pussy' used to describe genitalia), video call sex, dirty talk, masturbation, praise kink, mention of spitting, sweet talking Naoya into submission, he has nipple piercings in this one, Naoya being his own warning

“Seriously? You couldn’t wait three seconds to at least show me your face before flipping the camera to your dick?”

You lie on your stomach in a hotel bed that’s way too big for you alone, fresh out of the shower, glancing down at your phone in your hand. After a long day of fighting an extremely nasty curse, you crave nothing more than rubbing one out to the voice of your husband and passing out immediately afterwards. Your hips grind lazily into a pillow between your legs, feeling that familiar throb, while Naoya on the other end strokes himself on display as slowly, his thumb drawing circles over his leaking tip. His moans are slightly muffled over the speaker.

“Can’t help it, babe, I’ve been like this all day, aching for ya. Had my cock throbbing even at family dinner. Been thinking about nothing other than stuffing all of yer greedy holes. Just look–”

The movements of the video get a bit shaky when he fists his cock, pumping himself at a leisurely pace. You’ve memorized every vein of his cock, feeling your mouth water a little at the sight of it. While Naoya wasn’t a size king, he had the girth and you vividly remember how he knocked the air out of your lungs when he pounded you into the mattress for the very first time. You roll your hips some more, chasing for the right friction to get you off, the camera still aimed at your face. 

“Then gimme a show at least,” you whine and put on a small pout which you know Naoya can never resist. If there’s anything Naoya loves, then it’s attention and praise, and he is way too easy to bait into whatever could offer him that.

“Oh, ‘m gonna give yer a show, baby. Gonna make ya regret not being here with me. I’d have ya drooling all over my cock if yer were here with me now,” he rattles. “Would spit in yer mouth, that’s how ya like it, dontcha?” 

The display turns dark and blurry for a moment, and you can practically feel the excitement from the other end of the line when Naoya props his phone up against something to have his hands free. He is so obedient at times, yet he would hate to hear that. For the first time today you get a glimpse of his face now, the pink of his tongue poking out slightly between his lips, his hakama pants hanging unfastened from his hips, his cock resting heavy on his thigh when he leans back.

“The shirt, too,” you demand. “Take it off.”

“Nah, too many buttons,” Naoya huffs and grips his cock again, making sure to angle it just right at the camera. Oh, how he wished you were on your knees before him right now. All the ways he’d mess you up. 

“Then pull it up at least. C’mon, put it in your mouth like I do it for you sometimes,” you coax him in your sweetest, sultriest voice. “I know you can be a good boy for me.”

Naoya’s hips yerk up slightly at the praise and he lets out a shaky breath, clearly trying to restrain himself from coming too fast. His resilience is crumbling so easily at the sight of your pretty face and he hastily grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it up, biting down on it to keep the fabric from sliding down again. One nice side effect of this was that with his mouth stuffed, he would shut up for once. 

“Mmm, yes. That’s it, so good, aren’t you?” you coo and have Naoya gripping his cock tighter, his movements getting sloppy. His abs contracted with every jerk of his hand, and soon he was whining and panting, legs spread apart so beautifully for your perfect view. 

“Are you gonna cum for me, baby?”, you ask while grinding against your pillow, mesmerized by the sight on your display. Seeing a man like Naoya falter so easily at your words alone has you feeling a certain kind of arousal, pooling right in your stomach. 

It makes you want to wreck him entirely. 

Naoya nods and whimpers, using his free hand to play with his nipple piercing, all while his other pumps himself into a higher sphere. His hips are bucking and precum is drooling from his pink tip, making a mess out of him and amplifying the lewd sounds. 

He doesn’t last long, and when he cums thick white ropes fall onto his stomach, his mouth hanging agape. His cheeks are flushed and he mewls while he keeps stroking himself, milking every last drop out of him while chanting your name in a needy voice.

This. This might be your favorite sight ever. 

“Such a good boy. So good for me. Now bend over for me, hm? Show’s not over yet.”

[bookofthegear]

“Pardon me,” you say, bowing slightly to the frog, “I didn’t mean to intrude. I’m just here…err…exploring. The labyrinth. You know. This labyrinth. The, err, concrete one. That you live in.”

The longer you address the frog, the more you suspect that this is not an enchanted prince, shapechanger, or stray amphibian god. I mean, you can’t be absolutely sure, but if it’s only pretending to be a frog, it’s doing an amazing job of not breaking character.

This makes the conversation increasingly awkward, particularly with Jimmy listening. You eventually stop talking. The frog is probably relieved as you are by that.

The room is square and not terribly large. The most notable feature is a pair of pipe openings on the eastern wall. They’re roughly three feet across, one atop the other. The bottom one has the remains of a grate over it, which appears to be made of rust and tetanus. The top one is clear. You hold up your lantern and…yep, that’s a pipe all right. Dark. Smells like rust. You could stand on tiptoe and get your head into it, if you were really determined.

It would appear that the unknown chalk artist has been here, because there are three diagonal lines on the wall beside the uppermost pipe.

Water has seeped into the room, probably from the bottom pipe, and formed the puddle that the frog is sitting in. Judging by the marks on the walls, this room floods occasionally.

The frog gazes at you suspiciously and says “Hnaaaaagh.”

A faint chorus of hnaaghing echoes through the pipe, indicating the presence of other frogs somewhere on the other side.

[theharddeck]

can't unfeel that // Jake Seresin x fem!reader

pairing: hangman x reader (no y/n)

synopsis: jake and his FWB are going strong, totally not developing feelings, totally unaffected and happily still in friends territory...in completely unrelated news, Jake discovers a breeding kink

word count: 8k of smut interspersed with feelings

A/N: This fic is a follow up to kinda might, sorta like, love you a little bit; it’s not necessary to read that first, but it is the dynamic (if you haven’t read it, that’s where Jake discovers choking so it’s a fun time) (also the title is another line from the same song). Thank you to @gigisimsonmars for the inspo and beta-ing, and @laracrofted and @bradshawsbitch for opinions, moral support, and straight up coaching!! 💙

Warnings: 18+ explicit content, minors DNI explicit PiV, unprotected sex, non negotiated breeding kink—friendly reminder this is a work of FICTION oh my god use protection and communicate explicitly with your partner beforehand please please please— f!receiving oral sex, hint on condescension, denied/delayed orgasm, overstimulation…if none of that phases you, there’s also swearing.

This was friend behavior; friends totally go grocery shopping together. 

It definitely wasn’t a big deal that you and Jake were at a Whole Foods, him looking for some kind of weird protein powder while you picked through cartons of blackberries. 

It was absolutely casual that he’d moved into a small house off base, and you were spending the night more often than not.

Your friends with benefits situation was continuing as expected, and the domesticity of it all was not, in any way whatsoever, throwing you off. 

You wrinkled your nose at your reflection in the mirrors over the produce section, wondering who you were convincing. In the mirrors, you saw a man with a child on his hip come up to peruse the bell pepper section, and you stepped aside to give them more room. 

“I’m so sorry to bother, but would you mind?”

You were surprised when the man spoke to you, and you turned to see him sheepishly looking between the rows of bell peppers, and the toddler who wouldn’t let go of her father, her lower lip quivering dangerously each time he readjusted his grip to reach for some vegetables. 

“Of course,” you said, pulling down a produce bag. “What can I grab for you?”

“Actually,” the man shifted the child on his hip, “could you just take her for a minute? My wife sent this massive list and I have like a dozen things I need to get, and it’d just be faster…”

“Oh,” you said, looking at the girl who looked dubiously back at you, trying not to read gender roles and expectations into someone just asking for help. “If it’ll help, sure.” 

“Thank you so much,” the man sighed in relief, handing over the child with little fanfare. The kid looked at you suspiciously, and you settled her onto your hip, not giving her a chance to second guess the arrangement. The man moved quickly down the aisle, pulling out a list to consult and grabbing different vegetables, as you narrated to the child, hoping the steady flow of information would be enough to offset the fact that she was being held by a stranger.

“Did you know,” you told her quietly, “that Brussels sprouts grow on stalks, like almonds? They look like little cabbages, and they’re technically related, I think, but they don’t come out of the ground like that. The pattern they grow in is actually called helical—which I’ve never said aloud until this moment, but it’s the same base word as helix, so I hope I got it right—around the stalk…”

You rambled on as the father continued to dart up and down the aisle, coming back occasionally to drop the bagged produce into the trolley. You heard a familiar footstep on the linoleum, and turned both you and the child towards it. 

“And that man over there,” you told her, smiling conspiratorially as Jake rounded the corner, his boots giving a distinctive cadence to his step, “didn’t believe me when I told him it’s actually Brussels sprouts, with an ‘s’ at the end.”

Jake’s face went on a journey when he found you, then registered that you were holding an unfamiliar child, and his eyes slid over to the father running frantically up and down the aisle. A strange expression settled on his face when he looked back at you, almost frowning, as he walked closer to you. 

“It’s not his fault,” you continued to the toddler, who was watching Jake with open fascination as he approached. “He’s a cretin whose unpopular vegetable of choice is an asparagus.”

“Ha ha,” Jake deadpanned as he stepped beside you, looking between you and the child with that same unfamiliar expression on his face. “What’s this?”

The father chose that moment to reappear, dropping a mesh bag of yellow onions, a carton of fingerling potatoes, a bundle of scallions, and a couple heads of garlic into the trolley, and nodding at Jake before turning back to you.

“Honestly, you’re a lifesaver,” he thanked you fervently, reaching for his kid. She went without complaint, and you briefly envied her unflappability, before you were preoccupied by other things. 

Things like Jake stepping way into your personal space, and leaning forward to brush a kiss on your cheek. You shivered, surprised by the contact, but Jake stared intently at the man’s retreating figure, juggling his daughter and the trolley, either unaware of or unbothered by the heavy gaze following him. 

“What was that?” you asked him, as soon as the man finally rounded the corner. Jake’s nose wrinkled, before he shook his head and stepped out of your personal space. He wasn’t looking at you, but held out the shopping basket towards you, showing a brown envelope labeled Organic Pea Protein on top of the groceries you’d already picked out. 

“I found the powder,” he said, his voice level, and you weren’t sure if you were crazy or if he was suppressing. But Jake didn’t look like he was going to divulge any additional information, so you reached behind you haphazardly, grabbing the first carton of berries your fingers closed on. 

“And I’ve got the berries,” you announced. You checked your selection as you dropped it into the basket, mentally grimacing when you saw you’d picked blueberries.

“You hate blueberries,” Jake said, frowning slightly. 

“Sure do,” you muttered, looking at them, before pasting a smile on your face to look back at Jake. “But we’ve committed at this point. Anything else we need?”

Jake looked at you for a long moment, then shook his head tersely. “Uh, no. No, let’s go.”

You were both quiet as you stood in line to check out, making cordial conversation with the cashier, and then fading out as you carried the paper grocery bags out to the truck. The silence was almost disconcerting, but Jake didn’t seem upset, just like he was focusing intently on something, you weren’t sure what. You were loading the groceries into the backseat behind the passenger door when you realized Jake wasn’t opposite you, and that his bags had already been loaded. You were looking around for him when strong hands closed around your waist, and Jake pulled you to him, closing the door in front of you, before pressing you against the side of his truck. You expected him to turn you to face him, but you braced yourself against the truck when he didn’t, his broad body caging you against the door. 

“Jake?” you asked softly, unsure what he needed, or was looking for, knowing that sometimes it was easier for him to feel you than to tell you. You could feel him drawing in slow breaths from the way his chest expanded against your back, and his hips pressed slightly forward at your soft question.

“Just a sec,” he said gruffly, his voice muffled as he turned his face into your hair. He wasn’t kissing and he wasn’t nuzzling; it just felt like he was grounding himself by touching you, and you knew that, despite trying to convince yourself otherwise by the bell peppers, your heart was in trouble. Because not only only did you not mind, you wish he’d let you do this more. 

You nodded, sliding your hand up the side of the truck so you could rest your face on the back of it, while you waited for him. Jake drew in a couple more breaths, and then his hands on your waist loosened, as he turned you to face him. 

You went easily, arms dropping from the truck to his shoulders, hoping if your presence had steadied him, your touch could do the same. His eyes were stormy, the green of them clouded over by something complicated, something messy, and your hand snuck up from his shoulder to the back of his head, pulling his face down to you. You didn’t kiss him, but you watched his eyes slide closed as you pressed his forehead to yours, and his shoulders dropped slightly. 

“Want to tell me about it?” you asked quietly. 

He didn’t say anything, but you felt him shake his head, his hair scratching your forehead from where it was trapped between you. 

“Want to get out of here?” you asked instead, and this time felt him nod, causing something like pride to well up in your chest, relieved that he’d trust you enough to be able to voice what he wanted.

“Okay, then,” you said, gently as you could, “ let’s go.”

Again, Jake nodded, and you felt his hands tighten on your waist.

“When we get home,” he said, his voice rough, “I’m unloading the groceries. You’re going straight to my bed, changing out of this, and into my old Staubach tshirt.”

Jake didn’t phrase it like a question, but you knew he was asking it anyway, so you nodded. You felt him exhale a long breath against your cheek, like relief, and then he released you suddenly, like he had to do it at once or he wouldn’t at all. 

He stepped away from you to open the passenger door, made sure your feet were tucked in before shutting it, then crossed in front of the truck quickly, pulling the truck out of the lot before his word choice snagged in your mind—home. 

You looked at Jake out of the corner of your eye and he wove the truck in and out of traffic. His eyes were squinted against the bright sunlight, but the expression on his face was unfamiliar to you. His jaw was clenched, and his hands were tight on the steering wheel, and when one dropped to the stick to shift gears, the movement was terse, precise. You wanted to be a more altruistic person, you did, but realistically, something warmed deep in your stomach as you anticipated what that meant for when you got home. 

 When he pulled into the driveway, Jake was out of truck before it’d fully stopped, yanking open your door and turning you to face him, on the edge of the seat. You fumbled to undo your safety belt as his hand on the back of your neck drew your mouth to his, his lips claiming yours in a hungry kiss. 

Your eyes fluttered shut and you reached a hand up to his jawline to steady yourself as he pressed you back against the seat. He kissed you hard, heavy, and you knew there was something he was saying that he wasn’t telling you, but you couldn’t quite read it off his lips. His mouth moved hungrily over yours, then he pulled himself back, pressing chaste kisses on the corners of your lips, your chin, across your cheekbones. 

“Upstairs,” he said, his voice low. “Be ready for me.”

The heat that had been curling in your belly since the parking lot fanned into a flame in his words, and you nodded mutely. Jake helped you out of the cab of the truck (a couple more kisses and a smidge more of that voice, and you probably would’ve slid off the seat), and you walked on unsteady legs towards the house. 

Upstairs, you rooted through Jake’s pajama drawer, looking for the worn navy tshirt he’d requested. You could hear the refrigerator door opening and shutting as Jake shuffled groceries around the kitchen, and you stripped unceremoniously, before pulling the tshirt over your head. The material felt soft, the hem falling just to the tops of your thighs. Jake’s footsteps sounded on the stairs and you darted over to the bed, perching on the edge of it as he came into the room. 

At the sight of you, something softened in his demeanor. 

His shoulders lost some of their tension, even as he pulled in a deep breath, looking at you. Your thighs pressed together as you fought the urge to squirm under the intensity of his gaze, no less unsettling for its familiarity. He noticed, of course, his eyes darting down to your thighs, and an almost-smile growing on his lips.  

He walked into the room slowly, each step measured, and by the time he made it to the bed you were practically vibrating with need. To hear his voice, to feel his touch, to know you’d generated some kind of reaction from him, while you sat fidgeting. 

Jake stopped in front of you, running a finger along the neckline of the shirt, and you couldn’t help but lean towards him. 

“Thank you.”

He said it quietly, and it surprised you. You weren’t sure if he meant for changing, for waiting, for understanding that he couldn’t say whatever it was, but as you met his eyes as he stood over you, you nodded an unspoken ‘you’re welcome’. 

Jake’s hand trailed down the front of the tshirt, his touch warm even through the cotton. His fingers stalled when he reached your breasts, his thumbs passing languidly over you as he confirmed you weren’t wearing anything underneath. Your nipples hardened under his teasing touch, light and unhurried, even as his eyes darkened. 

“So good for me,” Jake murmured, and his hands dropped farther. He tapped the tops of your thighs and you opened them obediently. There was no pretense here, no point in pretending his words and his authority didn’t affect you. As you parted your legs, Jake sank to his knees beside the bed, his eyes flashing as he bent level to your hips.

“Sweetheart,” he whispered, his warm breath ghosting over you, the endearment falling from his lips like it was natural, even if it was only when you were like this, “is this for me?”

He pressed a feather-light kiss to your core, his tongue darting out between his lips to taste you and you knew what he meant—you were already glistening with arousal. Jake’s fingers came up to grip your thighs and he inhaled deeply as he spread your legs farther, sending a flush of color across your chest. You always felt desired with Jake, but sometimes it felt carnal, the way he needed you to fill all his senses. 

Another light kiss, another sweep of his tongue, tantalizing promises and teases for the both of you. You leaned back on your hands, braced on the bed, as Jake’s gentle touches continued. It wasn’t at all what you’d expected, this soft exploration, and your hips lifted towards him, asking for more. 

He pulled back.

You whimpered at the loss of his mouth, looking down to see him licking his lips. Jake’s chin was wet, shining with your arousal, and he’d barely touched you. 

“Jake…” you started, your body canting towards him, but his hands on your legs stilled you. 

“Asked you a question,” he mumbled, holding your eyes while he leaned in to place another chaste kiss on your cunt. His lips closed over you, his tongue curled against you, and you trembled at the dark look in his eyes. 

“Yes, fuck,” you breathed, and Jake sucked where his lips had sealed, a reward. “All for you, Jake, only you.”

He hummed, the vibration causing your head to fall back as he placed another maddeningly controlled kiss on your core. He lapped at you slowly, pulling your arousal into his mouth, savoring your taste, taking his time. You realized you were trembling, your body shaking as Jake took what he desired, finding his pleasure between your thighs. 

He kissed you, again, again, a soft trail up to your clit. When he rolled his tongue over that tight mound, your arms gave out, one of your hands tangling into his hair while you fell back to your other elbow. 

Jake chuckled against your core. 

“Need something, sweetheart?” he asked, licking a long stroke up your cunt. Your back arched and you cried out as Jake smirked into you, his tongue circling your clit. “Use your words.”

“More,” you gasped, your hips bucking into his touch. “Please, Jake, I need more.”

“More?” Jake asked, his voice low, and his teeth brushed over your clit as he sucked. You moaned, and Jake soothed you with more light kisses before you felt him shifting. A moment later, a thick finger traced along your folds, and you nodded feverishly. 

“Please,” you begged, “I need—”

“Oh she needs, does she?” Jake mused, and you whimpered as he pulled back. You felt his cheek press against your thigh as he watched his fingers pulling through you. He spread you with his hand, holding your folds apart so he could lick deeply into you. The pressure of his tongue, the sureness of his touch, it felt so good, but it wasn't anywhere near enough.

And he knew it, the asshole.

“Yes, please, I—” you broke off with a yelp when Jake pinched your clit. He leaned in to soothe it with another frustrating kiss, but your body echoed with the throbbing pulse. 

“Most people would be grateful to have their man on his knees, wouldn’t they?” Jake said, his voice muffled as his lips trailed over your core, but the teasing derision still present, sending a tremor through you. “But not you, hmm, honey? You want more.”

Your breath caught at his words; surely he hadn’t meant to say your man. 

He wasn’t yours like that, hot as it was for him to say it…but the illusion of it was enough to set your reeling. You looked down at him—hair mussed from your fingers, pupils blown wide from your taste, shoulders panting as he chose between air and more of you—and this afternoon you liked the idea of him being yours. 

“Greedy, greedy girl,” Jake chastised softly, when you didn’t correct him, but if you closed your eyes, you could pretend there was a fondness hiding in the gentleness of his voice. 

He thrust two fingers into you.

You arched off the bed, a wail falling from your lips as Jake curled his fingers inside of you. 

“And I take care of you, don’t I,” he said, kissing your cunt sloppily as his fingers worked in and out of you. “Every damn time, satisfy this needy pussy, this fucking perfect cunt.” 

The stretch of his fingers, the wet drag of his tongue, the dirty sting of his words, washed over you and you moaned as he wrecked you. 

“Yes, Jake,” you practically whined. “You’re so good, you feel so good, please—”

“That’s right,” Jake gritted, his fingers working faster. He thrust into you, stroking your walls and kissing it better with his warm mouth. You felt your thighs shaking and heat building in your center and you didn’t remember falling back onto the bed, but you didn’t remember anything other than the torturous, teasing, all consuming need that Jake was stroking between your legs. 

“Fuck, honey, squeezing me so tight,” Jake panted. “You gonna cum for me? After all that needing, you gonna let me make you feel good? Come on, sweetheart, let me have it; it’s mine.” 

His fingers continued stretching you, thrusting into you with perfect, intoxicating, precision and Jake leaned closer to your core again. His nose brushed against your clit before his lips closed around it, sucking messily, and you felt the building pressure inside of you shatter. 

You heard yourself sobbing like something in a dream, distant and echoing, but all you could feel was the tremors wracking your body, and Jake’s tongue pulling you through it. 

“Pretty girl,” Jake was murmuring between kisses. “You’re so damn beautiful, all the time, but when you come for me it’s something else. You did so good, sweetheart, so good, and you taste like fucking heaven…”

You whimpered as your head cleared, pulling weakly at his hair as he continued to kiss your sensitive core. 

Jake continued to lap up your release, unrelenting, unsatiated, and you both groaned when he eased a finger back into you. 

“How we doing, sweetheart,” he asked, and when you opened your eyes, he was watching you carefully. You realized he was holding his finger still inside of you, and it was your hips pulling him into you, rocking into his hand. 

“Good,” you whispered. 

Jake nodded, and his finger curled. “That’s my girl.”

His words soothed over you, and you felt them settle warmly over your skin, the same as when he’d called himself your man. It was probably pheromones, nothing more, but God it was a lovely thought. 

“Sweetheart…” Jake’s voice was quiet, dangerous. “You know what that look does to me.”

This was happening more often than not, little moments where you wished for more, and Jake had to remind you that that wasn’t the deal you’d both agreed to. You clenched your eyes shut again, trying to make it go away. 

“Sorry,” you mumbled. 

When you looked at him again, Jake’s forehead was pursed in a frown, and he shifted his weight to climb up onto the bed. He lowered himself over you, his hard body pressing over your soft one, and his mouth found yours. He kissed you and you tasted yourself on his tongue, even in the gentle insistence of this kiss. 

Jake pulled back, his lips trailing along your jaw, your neck. 

“Don’t apologize, honey, please don’t,” he whispered against your skin. “I can’t…please don’t.”

And you pressed your lips tightly together to trap the words, but when he pulled back to look at you, you knew you couldn’t look, not without showing him what he didn’t want to see. You could feel him watching you carefully, gauging your reaction as he added another finger inside of you. He groaned when you clenched around him, his hips rocking into you slowly as yours spread wider, to cradle him. 

“Feels good, Jake,” you gasped, loving the weight and motion of him.

He sucked on your neck, nibbling lightly and letting go as he rocked into you again. “Why’d you have to do that,” he mumbled into your collarbone, “look at me like that, then tell me it feels good. Makes me want to keep you, honey.”

Your hips stuttered against his, even as you knew he didn’t mean it, he couldn’t. Before you could ask and before he could take it back, he surged up to kiss you again. There was something almost frantic in his kiss, desperate enough that you knew this was it, whatever had gotten into him back at the grocery store. 

“Sweetheart,” he groaned, pulling his fingers out of you, settling his hands on your waist, squeezing tightly to orient himself. His face was buried in your neck, hiding, even as his clothed hips rutted harder against you. 

“Tell me what you need,” you asked, one of your hands coming up to card through his hair. He shivered, this enormous pilot, shivered at your words and your touch. He pulled back to look at you again, carefully, for a long moment. 

The afternoon sun was fading, and he looked golden in your arms, crouched above you. He hadn’t pushed your hand from his hair, and you smiled when he moved his head, adjusting where you were scratching him, working up the gumption to say whatever it was he needed.

“Can we pretend?” he asked at last, his voice holding something almost vulnerable. “I…maybe I can explain it later. But for now, can we just pretend?”

You didn’t know what he meant, but, irrationally, you trusted him anyway. If this was what he needed, and you could provide it, then you would. You nodded, and he let out a slow breath, nodding back. Beyond that, he didn’t move, looking almost uncertain with what to do next, so you pushed at his shoulders lightly. 

“Let’s start here, yeah?” you prompted, pulling his shirt over his head. 

Jake helped you, shifting to his side so you both could work on getting his pants off. Then he was in his boxer briefs, and you were in his shirt, and then he pulled that off of you too. The air was thick for a moment as you lay looking at each other, waiting. 

You ran a hand down his chest, over the smooth skin and coarse hair, thickening as you trailed lower. You brushed your fingers over his length, straining against his underwear, and looked back up at him through your lashes. 

“Don’t you want to fuck me, Jake?” you asked softly. He nodded, eyes closing as you ran your hand over him again. 

“More than that,” he whispered.

He felt good in your hand, hot and thick, and you watched the outline grow as you waited for him to finish the thought. 

You felt him brush some of your hair out of your face, before he said quietly, “Want to get you pregnant.”

You froze.

When you looked back up at him, Jake was watching you closely and your heart felt like someone had it in a chokehold because that was what he’d meant by pretending?? You’d mentally prepared for some variety of roleplay, maybe even an admiral or rank kink, but this? You, just with a future together?

While your mind was screaming that it was unintentionally cruel, your body was sighing that it was so. Damn. Hot. 

You had an IUD so it wasn’t a possibility, but the fantasy was admittedly one that sent a pulse of need straight through you.  

“Color,” Jake asked softly, and you bit your lip. 

If you said no, he’d be apologetic, probably fix you a bath or go downstairs, give you some space while he fixed something from the grocery run earlier. You’d eat together, pretend it hadn’t happened, and he’d help you get back to base, whatever you needed. Unless what you needed was to be here with him, like this, only not pretend. 

It was that simple, wasn’t it: there was no way you were walking unscathed away from knowing how Jake fucked you when he wanted a future with you. 

But you looked at him, into his soft eyes that were waiting for you, hoping for you, and there was only one word in your mind. 

“Green,” you whispered. 

Jake’s eyes closed. 

The hand that had brushed your hair away settled on your neck and he pulled you to him. 

“Thank you,” he said, and before you could process that, he kissed you. 

This kiss was different. 

It wasn’t possessive, it wasn’t hungry. It was almost tender. It was gratitude, honest and insistent, pressed against your lips as Jake thanked you for something he had no way of knowing you wanted.

It was too gentle, but when you tried to deepen it, Jake held back, soothing you with soft caresses. His hands were light on your shoulders, your waist, the side of your face, embracing you with more than just his kiss. You melted into it, the gentle slide of his mouth against yours, his sweet taste, the strength of his arms around you. Jake kissed you until he felt you trust him with it, and then he rolled you both over.

He settled over you, his long body draping over yours, and you wanted to melt into the bedspread. Your arms were wrapped around him, pulling him closer to you, and one of your hands ran over his stomach to slip into his underwear. You hummed into Jake’s kiss as your fingers wrapped around his cock, warm and heavy in your hand, and his hips pushed further into your grasp.  

“Honey, hold on—” he muttered against your lips, but you shook your head. His touch was too good, there was too much unspoken, and if you let the tenderness fester unchecked, you weren’t going to be able to handle this. 

You could lean into this, you could do it. You slid your hands around his back, pushing his boxer briefs down to his thighs before your hand returned to his cock. You knew he always got a little worked up when he went down on you, and as you stroked your hand over him, precum beaded on the tip of his cock. 

“Waited long enough, Jake,” you whispered, “want you to fill me.”

Jake drew in a sharp breath at your words, and he nudged your chin with his nose, moving your face so he could kiss up your neck. His mouth was more desperate than focused; you knew he’d leave marks and you tried not to think about why you wanted him to. You shifted under him, moving to guide his cock towards your entrance, brushing against your thighs, slicked with his spit and your orgasm. 

“Sweetheart,” he groaned, words muffled against your neck, a warning and a promise as you ran his cock through your folds. “You’re so warm and I’m not even in you yet.”

“Want to feel you,” you told him, wishing your voice was wrecked because he’d asked you to pretend, not because the thought of him having you like this sent your head spinning. 

“I know, honey,” Jake said, voice low. “Just give me a sec.”

You could hear his breathing, measured like he had to count it, like it was overwhelming for him too. You licked your lips as you lined him up with your core. 

“Come on, Jacob,” you cooed, letting go of his cock and running your hands up his side, settling under his shoulder blades, “don’t you want to breed me?”

“Fucking hell,” Jake swore, and his hips slammed forward. 

Your head fell back as he shoved his cock into you, stretching you, deep and hot and sudden. You whimpered his name as your body ached in the most delicious way, stuffed, full. 

“What’d you think would happen, honey,” Jake said, his voice hoarse, but his tone sharp. His arms caged around you, and he pushed off the bed to pull out slowly.

The drag of his cock through your cunt was devastating, but not half as much as the look on his face, when you opened your eyes. 

Fuck, he looked so good.

Sandy hair in his eyes, expression strained as he held his body in check, his eyes blown wide with desire. His head dropped when he pulled nearly out of you, just the tip still in you, and you felt yourself clenching down on him, needing him. His lowered head draped his dog tags against your chest, the cold metal causing you to gasp. 

Jake chuckled, a rumble of a laugh, and the tags dragged across your chest, then trailed up your neck as he leaned forward while he pushed back into you. You looked down your body, down to where his thick cock, shining with your joint arousal, was pressing back into your entrance.  

“Eyes on me, sweetheart,” Jake said, and you looked up at him. “That’s right. Look at me while I feed you my cock.”

You whimpered, every impulse telling you to close your eyes, let your head fall, focus only on the stretch of his cock and your body adjusting to him. But you let your eyes burn as you looked up at him, and Jake almost smiled. 

“That’s it,” he murmured. “Beautiful girl, doing so good for me.”

Your nails raked up his back as he bottomed out in you. He felt so deep, like you could feel his heartbeat, or maybe that was just the way his chest was pressed up against yours. It felt like every inch of your body was connected to his, melting into him, as Jake waited for you to adjust. His eyes darted over your face, watching you carefully, and it warmed you just as much as his body over yours. 

“Need you to move, Jake,” you gasped, when you were ready. “Need to feel you move.”

“We’re back to need, are we?” Jake asked wryly, but he rolled his hips, pushing deeper into you before pulling himself back out. He thrust back into you, your body accepting him, craving the push and pull and the fullness of him. Jake set a steady pace, deep and thorough and you felt like every time he pressed into you it was too much, and when he pulled out, like you needed him all the more for it. 

So, yeah, you were back to need. 

“Fuck, those sounds you’re making,” Jake groaned. “You sound so good, sweetheart, I could come just from hearing you.” 

You hadn’t even realized you were whining, each thrust of Jake’s hips punching sounds out of you. A layer of sweat coated his skin, soothing the abrasion of his chest hair as he moved over your and the juxtaposition of it all—his words, his cock, his sweat, his chest—clouded your mind so all you could do was keep making whatever noises he pulled from you.

“But not today, huh?” Jake continued, pushing back into you. “Not today, because today’s not just about getting us there, is it, it’s about fucking filling you.”

You moaned at his words, nodding desperately, feeling yourself clenching him tighter at his words. God, you wanted to feel that, wanted to feel him. 

“‘s that what you want, baby?” Jake gritted, his hips slamming forward. “To be so full of me, with my seed, not just when I can give it to you like this. Fuck, you’d always have me in you, wouldn’t you, carrying me.” 

You felt yourself sliding up the bed, being pushed up by the force of his thrusts. You reached back for the headboard, finding it closer than you’d expected, pushing back to meet Jake, and he moaned.

“That’s right, sweetheart, push yourself back on this cock. You need that don’t you, to milk it till you’re full of me?”

You cried out as you nodded, needing that, just like he said. Jake swore under his breath, reaching down to rearrange you. He pulled your legs out from your hips, hooking his elbows under your thighs and easing into you again. 

“Jake, fuck,” you groaned, the new angle pushing him impossibly deeper. Pleasure curled hot in your core, stoked higher by the friction of Jake’s thrusts. Your body was still sensitive from your first orgasm, but his cock and his words had you hurtling towards that precipice again, sooner than you could’ve imagined. 

“You too, sweetheart,” he gritted, but he couldn’t know, couldn’t feel this as much as you did. 

“Jake,” you whimpered. “I’m want to come, please—”

“No,” Jake gasped, and your eyes flew open. His jaw was slack, his eyes hooded, but his expression was intense as he looked down at you. His mouth opened slightly when he pressed deeper into you again, but he gained control when he pulled back, your body protesting the loss of him. 

“No?” you echoed, and he shook his head. 

“We have to time it right,” Jake murmured, his cock shoving back into you, “if we want this to stick, honey, you have to come with me.”

Your eyes rolled back, at his words or from the steady press of his cock. “Jake—”

“Count us down, sweetheart,” Jake said, voice stern. He braced his hands on either side of you, his arms shaking as he held himself in check, but his expression steady. “I’ll get us there, but you tell me when you need it.”

Fuck, you were pretty sure you could come just then, if he told you to. But you bit your lip and nodded, rewarded by a slow push as Jake rolled his hips into you. 

“Ten…” he prompted.

“Ten,” you repeated, not sure if you could make it that long. Jake pulled back as he stroked out of you, and you heard him spit a moment before a cool wetness covered your clit. 

“You look so beautiful,” Jake whispered, his thumb brushing over your clit. “God, how unreal you’re going to look carrying my child.”

“Nine,” you gasped, your vision blurring as his finger worked over you.

“Fuck, with your stomach all round,” Jake broke off as he thrust into you sharply, “filled, carrying my child...”

His thumb moved in a circle with delicious, maddening pressure, and you moaned as his words settled over you. “Eight.”

“These tits,” Jake leaned forward, his shoulders pressing your thighs flat against the bed and his mouth closing over your breast, messily kissing you, “they’ll be fucking swollen, won’t they, as you get ready to nurse our child.”

Your back arched off the bed as his tongue worked over you, mirroring the motion of his thumb. His mouth was wet and warm and perfect, and heat pulsed through your body. You could feel everything and you keened as you tamped it down, knowing you had to wait. 

“Seven,” you managed, and Jake hummed, you could feel it. 

“So soft, swollen, and all full of milk,” Jake mumbled, switching to the other breast. “And when you’re aching and sensitive, I’ll be there for you—bet you’ll taste so sweet like that, won’t you, darlin’.”

The thought of nursing Jake was stunning, and you moaned when you realized he was sucking at you, nipping and miming milking your breasts. You felt your body tighten, your toes curling and you shook your head against the pillow. 

“Six; I’m not going to—”

“You’ll make it,” Jake soothed, releasing your breasts and shifting back, returning his attention to your clit. “You’re doing so good for me, sweetheart, I know you can do it. Just a little longer, have to make sure you’re ready for me.”

“Five,” you gasped, “I’m ready, Jake, please–”

Jake pressed more firmly on your clit, stealing your words as your breath caught. “I don’t know, honey—you’re doing so good for me, but it’s a big fucking load. That’s what you need, that’s what I need, so much fucking cum, to get my girl pregnant.”

You could only moan, surrendering to the feelings and emotions he was caressing out of you. Your skin felt white hot, and you could feel your legs trembling; it was only a matter of time before you lost control entirely. 

“Four,” you whimpered, and Jake thrust into you again. 

“I know, sweetheart, I know,” he soothed, his own voice tight as he fought off his orgasm. “You’re milking my cock so good, honey, can you feel it? Feel how hard you make me, how bad I need you, how I need to fill you?”

His rhythm faltered as his pace sped up, his cock plunging into you. Jake grunted at the top of every thrust, a sound of deep satisfaction that curled through you, gave you strength you didn’t know to hold off, to wait for him, to do it together. 

“Three,” you cried.

“That’s it, sweetheart, because I do need to feel you, need to fill you, pump till you’re full of me and see me dripping out of my pretty cunt. Christ, you feel so good, you’re so good, how are you—”

Jake broke off, his hips slamming into yours, his cock reaching a place that had you seeing stars. Your eyes rolled back and you reached for him blindly, anchoring yourself with a hand in his hair, the other closing around his dog tags, moving with him as he thrust over you. 

“Two,” you moaned.

“Almost there, sweetheart,” Jake groaned. “Almost there, almost time for me to fuck a baby into you. Fuck, you’ll be such a good mama, won’t you, so smart and beautiful and glowing when you’re carrying my child, all contented because I gave you everything, always will, and you can’t leave then, not with my seed—tell me you’re close, honey, are you almost there?”

“Jake,” you wailed, your count forgotten as your body trembled, his words closing around your heart like a vice. Jake’s pace was bordering on erratic, rhythm lost, his sweat dripping down to your joined bodies every time his hips met yours. 

“Gonna give you a baby,” he gritted, “but you have to come with me, come with me now, please, fuck, sweatheart—” 

Jake came with a shout, hoarse and sharp and he pressed his hips into you. He pulsed inside of you, his hips shuddering, and you could feel his cum streaming into you, hot and deep and what you needed. His head dropped to your chest as his body loosened with his release and you felt your orgasm break over you, like a thousand fuses lit at once.

The room swam, blinding light and senseless heat, pulsing over your skin like a heartbeat, and your awareness was distilled to him—Jake. 

Jake’s beautiful groan when he finished, echoing around in your head, the holiest sound you’d ever heard. 

Jake’s hips stuttering weakly against yours, thrusting even after he’d cum, like he couldn’t stop. 

Jake’s voice, hoarse, whispering words you couldn’t discern, phrases you must’ve heard incorrectly, promises pressed against your skin. 

Jake’s hands, shaking with the force of his orgasm, but smoothing over your skin, checking you, soothing you. 

The light faded and you fell back into yourself, into your wrung out body, drenched in sweat and pleasure. The room felt hazy, heavy, and you realized Jake had matched his breathing to yours. You reached down, pushing the sweat-dampened hair off his forehead, smiling reassuringly when he looked up at you. 

You could see it on the tip of his tongue, wanting to ask if you were okay, but he held it back, and you watched him shut down the part of him that was nervous about what had just happened. 

“Hi,” you whispered, your voice hoarse. 

“Hey,” Jake said back, clearing his throat. “Um, I can get a towel—”

“Can we stay?” you asked, hoping it didn’t sound too desperate. You just needed a minute, just a moment to bask in the warmth of what you’d pretended to feel, before your mind could catch up enough to pretend it away.    

Jake hesitated for a moment, before nodding, and gently rearranging your legs, laying them down beside him before he shifted onto his back, pulling you with him. You went easily, resting on his chest and drawing a deep breath, thankful for the borrowed moment. 

He probably wasn’t pulling out to avoid making a mess, knowing a washcloth was far away, but you could almost imagine it was because he craved the closeness as much as you did. 

As you settled against his chest, one of Jake’s hands came up, absently running up and down your arm. You thought it had to count for something, the ��friends’ part of ‘friends with benefits’, so you steadied yourself before you asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Jake’s hand stilled, then resumed its slow brushing as he petted you. You knew he knew what you meant—you weren’t asking about the sex, you were asking about before.

“Not really,” he said quietly. 

You’d expected as much. “Okay.”

Jake’s fingers drummed against your arm, and the room was quiet again. The sun was setting, casting the room in an orange light, like the inside of a lamp. 

“I mean, if you want to, we can,” he hedged, after a minute. 

You scoffed. “That doesn’t mean much; I always want to talk with you.”

Shit. 

The words had slipped out before you could stop them, and you squeezed your eyes shut, wishing you could take them back.

“We can ignore that,” you mumbled, and Jake chuckled softly, before sobering.

“If I tell you why,” he said, “can we ignore that, too?”

Ignoring and pretending, how you’d always expected falling in love to be. 

Even though no one could see you, you rolled your eyes at yourself, and your malaise. You nodded into Jake’s chest, knowing he could feel it. 

His hand was back to stroking your arm, like he wasn’t even aware he was doing it. 

“You kinda looked like that kid,” he said. 

Your heart stopped. 

“What?” you managed.

“At Whole Foods,” Jake said, “when you were holding that little girl. I just came around the corner and it was like…like I saw a whole parallel life, one where someone married you, gave you kids. And I’d just walk by you in a grocery store, without knowing. Hell, even knowing, you looked like a family, like you fit together, like…”

He trailed off and your head physically ached as your mind whirred, processing his words. “Jake, she didn’t look anything like me.” “Her hair was similar,” he continued, a stubborn lilt to his voice, and you knew he wasn’t looking to be reasoned out of this. 

“Okay,” you said, wetting your lips, waiting for Jake to finish the thought.

Only he didn’t. 

He simply lay there, with you, his hand moving gently up and down your arm, seemingly content.

“So you decided you wanted to roleplay us getting pregnant?” you prompted, when it became clear that he wasn’t going to say anything else. 

Jake sighed. “I hated it.”

You jolted at his words. “What?”

“Shit no, sweetheart, not that,” Jake said hurriedly. “Not what we—no, are you kidding, that was so damn hot—I meant seeing you in the store. With him. And holding her. It…I don’t know, it made me mad it wasn’t me.” 

You pulled in a sharp breath, trying to find a platonic way to interpret that. 

You could feel your heartbeat in your temples, so loud you couldn’t think, much less rationalize and you pushed yourself off of his chest. Your hips ached as you spread them again, settling your knees on either side of Jake as you looked down at him, still joined. Jake’s expression was guarded, but he let you look, shifting his shoulders on the pillows but meeting your eyes. Without your arm to stroke, his hand fell to the top of your thighs and resumed its motion there; you could tell the silence was making him nervous. 

Well, that made two of you.

“I need you to be so fucking honest with me, Jake Seresin,” you said, proud of the way your voice was steady. “What does that mean?”

A hundred emotions flashed across Jake’s face before you could name them, and then he pushed himself up, settling you firmly on his lap as he brought his eyes level to yours. 

“It should be me,” he said, “not with a kid, per se, and not just in Whole Foods, but people should look at us and see we fit.” 

And then he kissed you.

For a moment, you were frozen. 

This couldn’t be happening. 

It had to be a weird, sex-induced dream where Jake told you he was jealous of an absolute stranger, jealous enough to admit he had something dangerously close to feelings for you. 

But even as alarm bells sounded in your head, you knew this wasn’t a dream. 

Because your body was sore in a very real way, the man in front of you was flushed, his fingers digging into your thighs with nervous tension, and he was kissing you carefully, so carefully, like he could pull back at any moment if you told him to.

Like hell. 

You leaned into him, your hands wrapping around the back of his head to pull him closer to you. You felt him relax, felt his shoulders loosen and his arms wind around your waist, pulling your body flush against him. And this kiss was new, it was different, it was excitement and a little bit of embarrassment, at the foolishness of waiting so long. 

You broke away, panting, and Jake rested his forehead against yours, his chest heaving. In the orange light, he looked gilded, too good to be true, like maybe he was Midas but you didn’t care if your skin turned to metal, so long as he didn’t stop touching you.

His long lashes fluttered, and your heart flipped at what you read in his green eyes as he opened them. 

“Jesus, Jake,” you muttered, teasing, “you could’ve just told me you wanted to go steady.”

He chuckled, a warm low sound that you felt shake his body at the old-fashioned phrase. 

“Yeah,” he said, turning his head to press a kiss to your temple, “but then we would’ve never discovered you had a breeding kink.”

Your jaw dropped and you pulled back, sputtering. “Excuse me—” 

“I know, I know,” Jake shook his head, grinning, incorrigible. “But admit it: you loved it.”

You snapped your mouth shut, trapping the response that threatened to bubble out, words you hadn’t dared think, much less speak, before this moment. Jake looked at you, at your pressed-together lips and eyes that always said too much, and his smile softened. 

“I know,” he said again, quietly, and he kissed you gently. Jake’s arms were tight around you and you leaned into him, letting it—whose kink it was, what you loved, what he knew—all go, knowing there was nowhere else you’d rather be.

//

taglist: @peakyrogers @hangmanbrainrot @wildbornsiren @princessofglitterland @mandylove1000 @daggerspare-standingby @blue-aconite @abaker74 @lt-bradshaw @dempy @callsignvalley @princessphilly @aurora-whispers @mxgyver @mlibbydp @bioodforbiood @thedroneranger

[enbeeanon]

Masterlist of herbs and plants!

This is a list that I have in my Book of Shadows, typed up so that you can use it, too!

Do not consume those with an asterisk (*) next to them. Some are edible in certain forms, but consult a qualified herbalist before you use them

Absinthiumn*

Healing, maintained good health, fighting off disease

Acorns*

Good luck, fertility, spiritual growth, prosperity

Acacia*

Prosperity, money, success, love, psychic powers

African Violet*

Protection, healing, spiritual growth

Amber*

Happiness, love, friendship, comfort, reassurance

Agrimony

Protection, removing negative energy and bad vibes, helping to remove hexes

Aletris root*

Feminine magick, protection, prosperity

Almond

Prosperity, wisdom, success

Aloe

Spiritual growth, luck, success, protection, love, barrier against unwelcome things

Angelica root

Protection, exorcism, removes negative energy, boosts feminine energy

Anise/Aniseed

Spiritual growth, dreams, sleep, protection

Apples

Love, luck, longevity

Arrow root

Purification, cleansing, healing

Ash*

Divination, luck, prosperity, protection

Aspen*

House and item protection, healing, psychic growth

Avocado

Youth, beauty, love, lust, healing

Azalea*

Happiness, uplifting, full of life

Bamboo*

Wish magick, luck, protection

Banana

Fertility, passion, success

Basil

Home and business protection and blessings, warding off negative energy, purification, cleansing, divination, exorcism, prosperity, love

Bay leaves

Warning: if burned, ensure the area has ventilation!

Protection, psychic power, divination, success, money, wish magick

Beech*

Wish magick, happiness, divination, spiritual growth

Belladonna*

Astral projection, psychic powers, boosts spell's power, healing, helps to forget past loves, protection

Bergamot*

Success, psychic powers, fertility, mental clarity, sleep, protection, prosperity

Birch*

Protection, purification, cleansing, removing negative energy and hexes

Blackberry

Protection, healing, prosperity

Black pepper

Banish negativity, warding off bad energy, protection

Blueberry

House protection, home blessing, legal matters, luck, prosperity, protection

Brazil nut

Protection, prosperity, love

Brimstone powder*

Used to remove hexes

Burdock root

Protection, purification, healing, cleansing, self acceptance

Buckthorn bark*

Exorcism, wards off negative energy, removing hexes, aids legal matters

Cabbage

Fertility, luck, prosperity

Calendula (Marigold)

Psychic powers, spiritual growth, happiness, protection

Camellia*

Love, protection, healing, prosperity

Chamomile

Sleep, calms nerves, prosperity, luck, purification

Caraway seeds

Helps children stay safe from illness and general harm, protection, clarity of mind, passion, healing

Cardamom

Courage, love, passion

Carnation*

Protection, inner strength, healing, creativity

Carrot

Lust, fertility

Cashew

Prosperity

Catnip

Courage, beauty, love, used in magick surrounding cats

Cayenne

Aids separation (such as divorce), emotional heartache, a traditional offering in Wicca (I'm not wiccan but that may be helpful for any of you who are)

Cedar*

Protection, purification, removes negative energy and hexes, prosperity

Celery

Mental clarity, psychic powers, aids sleep, lust, passion

Centaury

Psychic powers, protection

Cherry bark*

Love, romance, passion, divination, clarity of which path to take

Chervil

Helps to contact spirits, used to help people find deities

Chestnut

Love and peace

Chrysanthemum*

Healing and protection

Chives

Protection, used in dieting spells

Cinnamon

Promotes dreaming, business success, healing, psychic powers, love, purification, protection, spiritual growth, adds power to any spell

Cloves

Adds power to spells, speed up spells effects and manifestation

Clover*

Mental clarity, protection, love

Coltsfoot

Prosperity, peace, calms nerves, love, psychic powers, dreams

Coriander

Love, healing, passion

Cucumber

Fertility and healing

Cumin seeds

House protection, home blessings, general protection, exorcism, wards off negative energy

Daffodil*

Luck, love, fertility

Daisy*

Innocence, spells for children

Dandelion

Contacting spirits, dreams, healing, purification, clairvoyance

Deadly Nightshade*

Astral projection, psychic powers, adds a boost of power to spells, healing, protection, helps to forget past loves

Dill

Protection against hexes and curses, mental clarity, luck, love, wisdom, enhances magickal knowledge

Dock leaf*

Prosperity, success in business, fertility, healing

Dragon's blood*

Increases power and boosts spells, banishments, exorcism, strong protection, love, energy, purification

Echinanea

Inner strength, physical strength, healing, prosperity

Elderflowers/Elderberries

Exorcism, protection, house protection/blessings, healing, love

Eucalyptus*

Healing, purification, cleansing, protection

Evening primrose

Healing, purification, creativity, protection

Eyebright

Psychic powers, spiritual growth, mental clarity

Fennel

Protection, purification, healing, passion, courage, strength

Feverfew

Protection against accidents, clumsiness and illness, helps with colds and fevers

Frankincense*

Protection, purification, healing, cleansing

Fumitory

Protection, purification, cleansing, consecrating tools

Galangal root*

Protection, prosperity, psychic powers, lust, passion, legal matters

Garlic

Protection, healing, exorcism, inner strength, family bonding, home and business blessings

Geranium*

Healing, protection, love, meditation

Ginger

Protection, prosperity, healing, luck, love

Heartease*

Aids healing from heartache, love, friendship

Hibiscus

Dreams, divination, love, lust

Holly*

Protection, love dreams, good marriage

Honeysuckle*

Prosperity, luck, peace, inspiration

Horseradish

Purification, protection, exorcism

Hyssop*

Protection, purification, cleansing, consecration, positive blessings

Jasmine

Love, dreams, spiritual growth

Juniper berries

Protection, exorcism, healing, calming nerves, love

Ladies Mantle*

Aids sleep, love, purification, beauty, inner calm, fertility, luck, protection, happiness

Lavender

Purification, healing, cleansing, home blessings, protection, calming, sleep, love

Lemon

Uplifting, mental clarity, healing, psychic powers, friendship, contacting spirits

Lemon balm

Healing, psychic powers, spiritual growth, divination, love, success

Lemongrass

Mental clarity, psychic powers, love, lust

Lemon Mint

Healing, love

Lemon Verbena

Purification, protection, cleansing, love, passion, adds a boost to other herb mixtures

Lettuce

Divination, sleep, protection

Lilac*

Past life regression, protection, love, luck, exorcism

Lily*

Removing love spells/enchantments, protection

Lily of the Valley*

Healing, uplifting, happiness, inner calm

Lime

Protection, healing, love

Liquorice root

Love, romance, fidelity

Liquorice stick

Love

Magnolia

Good marriage, love, passion

Mandrake*

Protection, exorcism, home and business blessings, divination, luck, prosperity

Maple

Luck, prosperity, love

Marjoram

Inner balance, psychic powers, spiritual growth, happiness, love, prosperity, protection

Marshmallow root

Love, protection, removing negative energy

Meadowsweet

Happiness, love, divination, inner calm, peace

Mint

Prosperity, psychic powers, spiritual growth, travelling, exorcisms, healing, protection

Mistletoe*

Youth, beauty, love, healing, prosperity, protection, fertility

Mugwort

Warning: can cause drowsiness and vivid dreams. Do not consume if pregnant.

Dreams, astral projection, psychic powers, healing, inner strength, visions, protection

Myrrh*

Protection, purification, cleansing, exorcism, spiritual growth, helping relieve sorrow after tragedy, healing

Neroli*

Inner calm, sleep, peace, meditation, inner confidence

Nettles

Protection, healing, removing negative energy, exorcism

Nutmeg

Prosperity, divination, love, luck, mental clarity, protection, uplifting, healing

Onion

Protection, purification, healing

Orange

Peace, calm, love, luck, lust

Orchid*

Calming, dissolving anger, beauty, love, peace

Oregano

Happiness, protection, prosperity, healing, love

Parsley

Psychic powers, spiritual growth, luck, uplifting, healing

Passionflower

Home blessings, friendships, sleep, inner peace, emotional balance, love, family bonds

Peony*

Natural lucky charm, healing, prosperity, protection, exorcism, removes hexes

Patchouli*

Used to break a spell, exorcisms, removes hexes, mental clarity, passion, prosperity, contacting spirits, divination

Pennyroyal*

Purification, protection, home blessings, inner calm, aids calm in arguements, helps prevent travel sickness

Peppermint

Psychic powers, calming, healing, aids rest, mental clarity, dreams, love, purification

Periwinkle*

Good marriage, mental clarity, purification, protection, love

Pine*

Protection, purification, cleansing, prosperity, inner strength, grounding, healing, fertility, success, home and business blessings

Pineapple

Prosperity, luck

Pink rosebuds/petals

Friendships, love, romance, self acceptance

Plum

Healing, love, peace, inner calm

Pomegranate

Divination, wish magick, protection, prosperity

Poppy/Poppy seeds

Happiness, love, lust, luck, sleep, prosperity, fertility

Potato

Healing, luck, prosperity

Primrose*

Love, luck

Pumpkin/ pumpkin seeds

Healing, divination, honours the moon

Raspberry leaf

Protection, sleep, dreams, healing

Red rosebuds/ petals

Passion, love, romance, psychic powers, healing, protection, divination

Red sandalwood*

Trance work, divination, meditation, consecration, purification

Rosehips

Love, luck, healing, invoking positive spirits

Rosemary

Purification, healing, sleep, mental clarity, psychic powers, spiritual growth

Rowan/ Rowan berries*

Protection, home and business blessings, success, psychic powers, healing

Rue*

Exorcism, protection, luck, removes hexes, love, mental clarity, healing, home and business blessings

Saffron

Psychic powers, healing, love, lust

Sage

Purification, cleansing, mental clarity, psychic power, spiritual growth, home/general protection, wisdom, knowledge

Sandalwood*

Cleansing, purification, protection, removes negative energy, protects against psychic attacks

Sea salt

Purification, cleansing, casting circles

Slippery elm*

Protection, stops gossip and rumours

Spearmint

Protection, protection during sleep, clarity of mind, healing, love

St. John's wort*

Protection, healing, love, happiness, divination

Tea tree*

Healing, peace, harmony, mental clarity

Thyme

Psychic power, spiritual growth, love, stopping nightmares, divination, courage, purification, restful sleep, healing, inner calm, balance

Valerian root

Sleep, purification, cleansing, protection, dreams, love

Vervain

Inner calm, harmony, peace, protection, purification, divination, consecration, prosperity, love, creativity

Walnut

Healing, mental clarity, wish magick, fertility

Willow*

Divination, protection, love, healing, relieve sorrow

White willow bark*

Protection, love, healing, divination, luck, inspiration, psychic power

Witch hazel*

Protection, healing, charm

Yarrow

Exorcism, protection, love, removing hexes, dispels fear, promotes calm, inner strength, psychic powers, courage

Yew*

Removes negative energy/hexes, protection

Ylang Ylang*

Inner calm, brings peace to situations, love, happiness, tranquility

This took me two hours to write up, but hey! Hope this helps!

[hawkinasock]

TELL US ABOUT YOUR OTHER AUS (IF ABLE AND WILLING AND YOU WANT TO) ‼️‼️‼️

Tread carefully, Anon... Once I start yapping, I can't stop (jokes on you tho, I love yapping. Let's go)

I assume you mean aus for HSR specifically? I've got a lot more for genshin, but to stop myself from going on massive tangents, I'll just stick to HSR. I'll keep them all as summaries and go into more depth if there's any interest. Ok here we go:

Chimera Yanqing has kinda become my whole thing now, but I've never actually mentioned the other characters that I've also made chimera forms for. Namely Jing Yuan.

He doesn't really have any lore...? Unlike Yanqing, I was too focused on making him look pretty, which is easy because it's Jing Yuan. I'll make an update if I add anything more to his lore, cause I'd hate to just leave him unfinished forever. I do have a chimera Yunli au too, which I'll also save for another time. (Also keep in mind that he has wayyyy more fur than what I've shown. It just would've made his actual form unclear. He is very, very fluffy, canonically)

Mara-struck Yanqing (aka How the general ate the cabbage). Made a whole fic for this one, the plot is in the pudding, and by pudding I mean my ao3 lol. Instead of deflecting Jingliu's ult, Yanqing is instead killed and mara-stricken, and everything falls apart from there. Keeping it vague since it's still in progress. As of writing this, I'm three chapters in, so check it out if you're interested <3

Band au. I actually forgot about this one until I went through my list. Basically, It's a modern au where the high cloud quintet were a huge band back in ye olden days of the mid 1980s until their downfall, where the lead singer (Baiheng) is killed in an accident, triggering a series of unfortunate fates for 3 of the 4 remaining members. Jing Yuan is the only member still working in the industry and adopted Yanqing roughly 20 years after the the HCQ's fallout. One day, though, after years of no contact, Blade comes back into Jing Yuan's life, seeking refuge from law enforcement, and it all tumbles out of control from there after Jing Yuan accepts. The rest of the story would follow a very suspicious Yanqing wondering what the deal is with his dad's weird new boyfriend, and eventually reuniting the 4 remaining members (getting the band back together, as Phineas would say). There is SO much lore for this one, but it would take up this entire post to explain, so I'll probably just make it into its own post (with designs ofc). Tbh I haven't done as much work on this one as the others simply because I just don't know that much about music? Zel does though, so if I ever come back to it, I can go to him as a consultant.

Kind of an odd one, but I'm including it since it sorta counts, and I've become pretty fond of it over time. Mom Lumine au(s) Xiaother being Yanqing's dads is one of my favorite little crack aus. This au is the brainchild of imagining Yanqing as Lumine's child instead, but me as the author not enjoying xiaolumi as much. Thus, this was born. There's not really a story? Just a bunch of loosely put together concepts with multiple potential narratives that I find fun. Most of the time I default Childe as Yanqing's bio dad. In a weird way, it makes sense in my head? Yanqing resembles Lumine and uses a sword, and has that same go-getting, battle-hungry attitude as Childe, with all the knock-outs to boot. I mainly imagine chilumi as this interstellar crime duo; the Bonnie and Clyde of space, if you will. Because, honestly, if Yanqing's parents are ever to be revealed, would it not be the funniest thing for them to turn out to be criminals? I think it's hilarious, because Yanqing himself would be mortified.

Guardian Blade/Stellaron Hunter Yanqing au. These names are kinda lazy cause I usually don't make official titles for them unless their a fic, which this one happens to be. Here, Yanqing is an abomination of abundance, and as my interpretation usually goes, the only person who knows about this is Jing Yuan. Him and one other - blade, who was confided in the secret shortly after Jing Yuan had taken baby Yanqing in. Jing Yuan made Blade promise that, should the truth ever be uncovered and Jing Yuan punished, Blade is to take Yanqing and protect him. And years down the line, when the truth does finally reveal itself, Blade fulfills his promise. Theoretically, Yanqing would then join the stellaron hunters, albeit unenthusiastically. I haven't actually made any plans for that concept outside of a single one-shot. I still need to finish the actual fic first lmao.

Mara-struck Jing Yuan au. Probably the least original one I have to offer, because there's nothing particularly unique about it aside from one little twist I added that I think differentiates it, and that's that Yanqing doesn't actually kill Jing Yuan, or vice versa. Instead, Jing Yuan, in his current state, attacks everyone and everything except for Yanqing, and actually goes out of his way to keep Yanqing away from danger. The way I rationalize this (and this is me stretching the mara lore a LOT) is that Yanqing is so important to Jing Yuan that he creates a sort of blind spot to the mara when present; he is both innately precious and harbors only positive memories in Jing Yuan's mind, so in a way, he retroactively contradicts the way mara-struck!Jing Yuan would normally perceive him, seeing Yanqing as something to protect rather than attack (i hope that made any sense </3). This would probably never actually happen in canon. I just really like the idea of Jing Yuan's love for his son being so strong that it stays with him even after he's gone mad and can no longer remember what Yanqing means to him.

Progenitor au. Saved this one for last because it's been occupying my entire brain for the past few days. It's based on Dillongoo's Progenitor Albedo series, and by based, I mean it's just the same au, same universe and everything, but HSR. I won't go into the details because I'm planning to make it its own dedicated post as well, but I think its safe to say its becoming my favorite au out of all of these. I already have some designs and original lore cooked up, so hopefully I can post about it soon.

I think that's all of them? Debatable if some of these even count as aus, but who cares. I hope you enjoyed my rambles and found my ideas interesting enough to read through. I'm hoping to eventually give them some more life and make actual content with them.

Till next time <3

[ask-felix-aberg]

Felix,

Any chance I may ask you to shelter a few of my chomping cabbages for a night or two?

They've been a bit restless those past few days: some younger Gryffindors poked their noses around my dorm room and agitated the plants. I think a calmer academic environment would do them good. Cannot bring them to the greenhouses either since Allegra's dog (is it her dog?) is rather fond of... Well. Clem plays a bit rough with them in my opinion. It is ok if you say no, I promise!

Your cabbage man,

Meech

My dear cabbage man,

Of course, I can shelter your chomping cabbages! However, I’ll need to consult with Als and Andrew first to ensure their approval. But if they give the green light, I'd be delighted to host your leafy little rascals.

Now, forgive my ignorance, but do your cabbages have any special dietary requirements? Do they need some sort of exotic fertiliser or perhaps a rare strain of soil?

Herbology was never my strongest suit, but rest assured, your cabbages will be in safe, albeit slightly inexperienced, hands. I'll muster my best efforts for your sake.

Ses imorgon!

Felix

P.S. Clem, from what I gather, doesn't belong to Allegra exactly. She just seems to have taken up the mantle of caretaker. There’s a story there, I’m sure, but I don't know much about it.

[chicaotaku-fanfics]

There's Three of You?! Pt. 11

New chapter finally, I'll confess that school has gotten in the way (not in the traditional way I expected), but it's getting sorted out. I hope that, by Monday, my school mess's fixed.

Warnings: foul language, might be some medical inconsistencies.

CHAPTER 11

Another normal day at the hospital, patients to see, charts to make, the usual. I had just finished with a consult and decided to take a quick break to grab a bite from one of the food trucks outside of the hospital. I managed to arrive right after Ethan, I had him, Reese, April and Connor in front of me, the last one being the first to notice my arrival.

“Korean Spanish fusion?” Asked Reese.

“Oh, yeah, the short rib and chorizo burrito is delicious” answered Connor.

“What if you’re a vegetarian?” The med student asked, I chuckled lightly.

Connor’s getting interrogated today. I thought, he gave me a stinky eye and I tried to contain my laughter.

“Then I would go with the tofu kimchi quesadilla.” He said, Reese just looked at him and placed her order.

“Can I have a garden salad, please?” She asked the server.

“Yeah.” The man answered, Connor looked at her with incredulity in his eyes, not believing what just happened.

“What? You said get anything I want.” She answered, I chuckled at the surgeon’s misfortune.

April got her order and took a picture of it. Ethan apparently decided in the last minute that he didn’t want anything, so he gave me his place on the line.

“Dr. Halstead, nice of you to join us.” Said Connor, I smiled at him.

“Why thank you Dr. Rhodes.” I answered sincerely. He turned to the side and spoke a bit louder.

“Hey, Will, you sure you good?” He asked my brother. I turned to the side to notice Will standing next to Natalie.

“Yeah, I brought something from home.” He lied through his teeth.

“No you didn’t!” I exclaimed, he looked at me as if I’d murdered his dog, I shrugged. “It’s the truth Will, sorry for being honest.” I added, then turned to look at Connor. “Don’t listen to him. I’ll get that tofu kimchi quesadilla, and for my stubborn elder brother, the short rib and chorizo burrito, please and thank you.” I said, Connor nodded and looked at the server.

“You heard the lady, man.” He said, the man looked at him and then at me.

“Coming right up.” He said.

“Thank you very much.” I said, then turned to look at Connor, moving to take my wallet out. “How much do I owe you?” I asked him.

“Nothing at all Lilly. My treat.” He answered, I side hugged him.

“You are too good for this world.” I said to him, he hugged me back, chuckling at my words.

“It’s $75.50 total.” Said the server, Connor walked over and paid with a $100.

“Hey, thanks a lot man.” Connor said, and at that exact moment, our orders came up.

I took mine and Will’s and walked over to him.

“Here. Eat.” I said to him, handing him his burrito, Will gave me a look. “Don’t look at me like that mister, just eat.” I said, he took the burrito reluctantly and gave it a bite. I smiled and started eating my own lunch.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Said Will, I just shrugged.

“I think I did. I saw your fridge earlier this morning, what were you gonna bring? Expored yogurt and baking soda?” I asked him, he made the motion to hit me behind the head.

“I’m going to kill you Lilly.” He joked.

“No you’re not. You love me too much to do it.” I said, then gave my quesadilla another big bite.

“What is that?” Will turned his attention to Natalie, and the tupper she had on her lap.

The hell is that?! I thought, looking at the stuff inside the container.

“It’s some cabbage kale thing. I promised my mother-in-law I would try it, so…” and she actually took a bite. Just a second later, Natalie’s expression changed, showing her disgust. “Oh. Ugh…” she added, making a face.

Will chuckled a bit, I was trying not to gag, so I turned to look the other way. I moved towards the garbage can, literally giving my quesadilla the last bite. I took a napkin and cleaned my hands and face.

Just as I threw my dirty napkin in the bin, my pager beeped, and Maggie came running towards us.

“Shooting in a movie theater. Mass casualties. About to get crazy. EMT four minutes out.” She exclaimed, and just like that, we saw the ambulances arrive, their sirens blearing.

“Looks like they beat those four minutes.” I said.

“Check that. They’re here.” said Will at the same time.

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” Maggie exclaimed. We all ran inside the hospital, sanitized our hands and grabbed gloves. “I need two” she added, some other doctors walked up to her and took the first patients.

“Another maniac going crazy in a theater. This the world we live in?” asked Will while walking towards a patient and putting on his remaining glove, I could only say one thing before focusing on the job.

“Unfortunately it seems that way Will. Now, less talking, more doctoring.” I said, he let out a little Halstead Chuckle® at my chosen word.

“Maggie! Trigger disaster plan, get ortho, neuro, walk-ins can wait.” said Ms. Goodwin, our chief nurse gave an affirmative response.

“Got it. What do we got?” Maggie then asked the paramedics as they rollen in the patients.

I had already treated one of the first patients in, a man with a dislocated shoulder, when in came Sylvie and Chilli with a woman and her kid, Connor and I went straight to them.

“Lucy Simms, 34, unresponsive. Flaccid, agonal breathing. Tubed her without drugs.” said the blond paramedic, Connor was already looking at her.

“Trauma 2.” said Maggie.

“The boy hurt?” Connor and I asked at the same time.

“He was never touched. Mom was literally a human shield. Dad's in the ambo behind us.” said Chilli, who had the boy in his arms.

“Let’s do this, Connor take the mom, I take the boy.” I said, moving away from the gurney so it could continue its path to the treating room, and extended my arms for the other brunette to give me the kid, she did.

“You heard Dr. Halstead. Lilly, take care of him until Dad arrives.” Connor said.

“No need to say it twice. Good luck” I said to my friend, then turned my attention to the kid. “Hey sweetie, I’m Dr. Lilly, and I’ll stay with you until Daddy gets here, ok?” I asked him with a calm and sweet voice, he nodded. 

I went to the kids area with him and we started playing, I also made sure to include some of the other kids who were there. Many of them started asking questions to me about being a doctor, and I answered as honestly as a doctor could to kids without breaking the illusion.

Sometime later Maggie came over with the father of the boy, Max -as the kid introduced himself- hadn’t notice him, so I took it upon myself to help.

“Hey Max, look. Daddy’s here.” I said, pointing towards his Dad, Max looked up and a big smile made room on his face.

“DADDY!” he exclaimed, standing up and running to his dad, I smiled.

“Max!” said the man, I stood up to go to him. As soon as I did, all the kids started saying «bye» to me, as if they were members of a choir, it was so cute.

“Bye kids, behave, ok?” I said to all of them, they all agreed, it was adorable.

The parents all looked at me with relief and gratitude, all I could do was nod in return with a smile on my face. I walked towards the entrance to the ED and turned to address everyone there.

“Hi everyone, I’m Dr. Halstead. On behalf of the entire ED, I want to thank you all for your patience, and understanding, as well as your collaboration during this times of crisis.” I said to everyone in the waiting room. Most people nodded, other smiled, and then I heard both, my pager and Connor calling for me.

“HALSTEAD!” Connor’s voice made itself heard all the way to the waiting room. I think the way my expression changed was enough for the people to know that the day wasn’t over yet.

“Go be a hero miss doctor” said one of the kids, I coo internally. Many of the adults did coo at his cute sentence, I looked at him with a smile on my face.

“I will.” I said, then turned and ran towards my colleague and my brother. “What do we got?” I asked as I grabbed my protective glasses and a pair of gloves, already being near the gurney.

“17-year-old male. GCS six, multiple GSWs to the abdomen. Two large bore IVs. Tachy's at 160. Pressure's marginal.” said one of the paramedics.

“Baghdad turned over?” asked Connor.

“Yeah, it's all yours.” said Ethan, Connor and I looked at each other, then we nodded.

“ Reese! Stay with us.” I said, when I saw the girl in the hall.

“All right. On my count. One, two, three.” said Connor, we all lifted the board to switch it over to the bed. “All right, check for breath sounds.” as soon as one of the nurses had helped me with the gown, I did as told.

“This the shooter?” asked Will, as he was been helped with the same process for the gown. The paramedic just nodded.

“Don't knock yourself out over this one.” he said, I just looked at him.

This’s got to be a joke. He’s human, no matter what he’s done.

“Yeah, we got it from here, thanks.” said Connor with some heat in his voice, I mirrored the sentiment with the glare I gave the paramedic.

“Breath sounds bilaterally.” I said, just then one of the monitors started beeping rapidly.

“Can't even go to the movies anymore.” said my brother, I just wanted to slap him behind the head.

“Doctor.” said one of the nurses, now the monitor started to flatline.

Not good.

“No pulse. Reese?” said Connor. Implicitly giving the order to start CPR.

“On it.” she said, starting compressions on the patient.

“He's bleeding into his belly.” I said.

“We need to clamp the aorta to keep whatever blood he has left going into his heart and brain.” said Connor, I passed him the necessary equipment to do the procedure.

“You're gonna crack the chest here?” asked Will, just as Connor started doing just that, me helping him.

“Yeah.” said the surgeon.

“It's futile. What, are you just practicing your thoracotomies?” asked Will.

“Actually, I’m trying to save his life.” Connor and I said at the same time.

“Aw, the heart's empty.” said the surgeon.

“Pump the blood with the level one now.” I ordered.

“Give me the tubing, I'll run it through the groin here.” said Will.

“All right. Aorta's cross-clamped.” said Connor.

“Clock starts now. We have 30 minutes to find out where he is bleeding from.” I said.

“Call the OR, tell them that we're on our way up with an open chest and a gunshot to the belly.” said Connor, we both raised the rails on the sides of the gurney.

“Good luck.” said Will.

“I'll let you write it up in JAMA when he pulls through.” said Connor, I moved for the nurses and Connor to be able to leave. “Let's go.” he added.

I turned to look at Will as I was ripping of my gown, he did the same. As he also took his gloves, I slapped him in the back of the head.

“Ow! What was that for?” he asked, offended.

“Let me remind you, that no matter what he did, the boy’s a patient here. Our job is to provide care to patients. Don’t you forget it.” I said, mad at him.

After that literal shitstorm had passed, I learned from Will that Lucy Simps -Max’s mother- was braindead and the father had given consent to remove her from the ventilator. It was sad, knowing that Max, sweet and playful little Max, wouldn’t see his mom ever again. Suddenly, many people started cheering and clapping, I raised my head and turned to the commotion. It was the teacher who had shot the shooter at the theater.

“We need more guys like that.” said Will next to Maggie and me.

“Right.” said the nurse, not as thrilled as I thought she would be, but I understood the sentiment.

Something’s not adding up here.

[mariacallous]

Before Yotam Ottolenghi had British Jewry in a sumac-scented chokehold, there was Evelyn Rose. With a weekly column in the Jewish Chronicle (the U.K.’s leading Jewish newspaper) for over 40 years and 14 cookbooks, she was the face and soul of the Anglo Jewish kitchen. 

From the 1960s to 2000s, rare was a Shabbat or holiday meal where at least one of Rose’s recipes didn’t feature. In fact, many of my family’s “signature” dishes (my mother’s stuffed cabbage, my grandmother’s lemon drizzle cake) are actually Rose’s, with a couple of small tweaks. Receiving Rose’s tome, “The Complete International Jewish Cookbook” (1976), when leaving home or getting married remains a rite of passage for British Jews. Mine is stained and annotated, just as my aunt, who gave it to me, intended. “Use and enjoy,” she wrote on the inside cover. “I expect to see it, in years to come, scribbled in, spattered and sticky!”

How Rose shaped the culinary habits of British Jews and beyond is a tale of perseverance, passion and a little bit of chutzpah. 

Born in 1925 in Manchester, U.K., Rose lived there all her life except for a four-year stint in the U.S., where she was evacuated during World War II. A home economics course at her Seattle high school sparked a passion for cooking, and she studied cooking demonstration techniques at the Manchester College of Housecraft on her return to the U.K. 

In the 1950s, Rose pitched a Jewish cookery course to BBC, the largest broadcasting corporation in the world, opening the program with a recipe for cheese blintzes. She went on to become the resident cook at Granada Television and cookery editor of Family Doctor Magazine, among other accolades. 

Rose began writing for the Jewish Chronicle in the late ‘50s. At the time, Florence Greenberg was well into her fourth decade of writing the weekly cookery column that Rose would take over a couple of years later. Greenberg was influential in her own right: She’d launched the column and was the second British writer to author a Jewish cookbook. And while Rose had already set herself apart from Greenberg by proving there was an appetite for Jewish food in the U.K. outside of Jewish media, this achievement alone was not enough.

To appeal to Jewish readers, Rose branded herself as a contemporary, cosmopolitan Jewish cook. She emphasized healthy eating and portion control, with lighter takes on traditional Ashkenazi dishes, and expanded the boundaries of Jewish food by incorporating dishes from the Diaspora. In the introduction of the second edition of “The Complete International Jewish Cookbook” renamed “The New Complete International Jewish Cookbook” (1992), she writes:

“Whereas the first edition of this book was heavily weighted towards the Ashkenazi kitchen, I have since read widely, consulted, eaten, cooked and now include many dishes from the Sephardi cuisine in all its exciting manifestations. I hope this will give a more balanced picture of Jewish cuisine worldwide.” 

From recipes for baba ganoush to ma’amoul cookies to layered kibbeh,Rose was remarkably ahead of the times in her definition of Jewish food and her willingness to play with classic fare. (See: Gefilte Fish Provencal, where classic gefilte fish patties are poached in a tomato sauce with thinly sliced bell peppers and Herbs de Provence.) 

Few have made the connection between Rose and Ottolenghi, an Israeli chef who’s established a food empire in the U.K. (and beyond) in the last 20 years, including uber-successful restaurants and cookbooks. Deemed “the Ottolenghi Effect,” he’s transformed the way Britain cooks by championing vegetables and Middle Eastern ingredients. Ottolenghi’s popularity among Anglo Jews today suggests he is Rose’s natural successor, but one only has to flick through “The New Complete International Jewish Cookbook” to see that she introduced her readers to many of the dishes he would become synonymous with.

Rose was able to challenge her readers with unfamiliar recipes and ingredients because they trusted her. She weaved straightforward, quick recipes among lesser-known, modern and elaborate dishes. Most importantly, her recipes were rigorously tested and, I can confirm, stand the test of time.

Rose passed away in 2003 at age 77, but the U.K., who has always loved its culinary leading ladies, will be forever changed by her. “Evelyn has become,” wrote Mandy Ross for the Guardian, “a collective Jewish mother to Jewish mothers everywhere. She is our modern matriarch.” 

[theangelwithawand]

So I’m doing a Marvelous Mrs. Maisel rewatch (to remind myself of when the show was good). I got to the Season 2 episodes with Benjamin and… I don’t like him. I always thought he was kind of boring, but had a few good moments with Midge, but now…

From the beginning, he’s just so unnecessarily rude to Midge, and only after she riffs along to the radio and proves herself sufficiently “weird” that he shows any interest in her.

Their relationship seems rushed too. We don’t see their first kiss or him meeting the family.

He springs marriage on her out of nowhere, after ambushing her at the park. The man is a doctor and supposedly very smart, I don’t know why he would think this was a good idea. He hadn’t met Joel but he’s proposing? Even Abe points out how rushed their relationship is.

Then there’s Midge, who falls back into old habits. She bends over backwards to meet Benjamin’s desires, even if it means putting herself at risk. She feels like she has to put makeup on in the mornings. She didn’t even mention Benjamin to Susie.

It’s later revealed that he bought a townhouse for himself and Midge, but didn’t consult her about it, because she apparently didn’t even know about it.

Even from their first date there are signs that Benjamin is never going to be enough for Midge. First of all, she knows immediately when and where Lenny’s show is, and it is her first instinct to go to him. Once Lenny is onstage, Midge is captivated. She only looks at Benjamin to gauge his reaction to Lenny. Her approval of Benjamin hinges on his approval of Lenny. (Personally, my favorite part is when Benjamin spends less than a minute watching Lenny and Midge interact and he is immediately like, “Did they…?”)

But the most interesting interactions come in S2E7: Look, She Made a Hat. Benjamin takes Miriam to an art show, something he knows she has no interest in. Now, yes I think you should try to take an interest in your partner’s hobbies, but the thing is, Benjamin keeps leaving to go brag or get drinks, and makes no effort to include her.

Now, contrast that with Lenny in S3E5: It’s Comedy or Cabbage. Lenny says he has a “work thing” which he brings Midge to, which turns out to be an appearance on Miami After Dark. He could’ve easily dumped Midge backstage for the entire show. But does he? Of course not. He brings her out to do a bit, have fun, and get her some exposure. He does this over the objections of the crew, because he loves her.

Returning to 2.7, Midge finds a painting she likes and buys it. She returns to Benjamin excitedly to show it off, but he demeans it. “That’s where they put the very minor artists. Or the mops.” Then he tells her that she overpaid and Midge feels the need to justify her purchase.

After the show, they head to the Cedar Tavern and Midge expressly tells Benjamin that he isn’t paying attention to her. Then, Declan Howell is introduced and Midge is captivated. Here is a man, an artist, who talks dirtier than he looks and can hold a crowd’s attention and make them laugh. And Benjamin is hesitant for Miriam to be around him.

Benjamin abandons Midge again in a situation that he thinks could be dangerous (yes he’s on call but still). And Declan gives Midge his complete attention. He is no longer dismissive, but attentive.

He asks her why she bought the painting she showed him yesterday. He remembered. She seems taken aback by the question, and even more shocked when he doesn’t accept her flippant response. She realizes he isn’t asking to make her feel bad.

When she finally gives her answer, “…She knows a joke that I don’t…” (Midge likes art that is warm and full of laughter which is a piece of characterization that I love), he is staring at her intently, and realizes she is worth showing his life’s work to, being vulnerable in front of. He listens to her answer.

Like Lenny does. Yup. It’s time to talk about The Blue Room.

Lenny stares at Midge like Declan does (but more because it’s Lenny). Lenny was listening to her, he always listens to her, and proves it by quoting her act.

“You are more important than God.”

“You were listening?” Midge asks this like it’s something she’s unaccustomed to (because it is).

“To you? Always.”

Men like Declan, men like Lenny, hold Midge’s interest for a reason: they listen to her. They make an effort to understand her. They show interest in things she likes without real judgement. They are real with her when no one else is. And that’s why it didn’t work with Benjamin. Because he just wanted someone to bum a light.

Midge needs someone who will give her the last puff.

[froshele]

realized about a month ago right after aborting a lantern run (over what it would require me to do to my poor dear meowmeows) that i play cultist simulator less like "a cool byronic occultist from 1920s London who is tormented by what is ludically implied to be bipolar disorder with component schizophrenia" and more like

well

"misplaced, undiagnosably whimsical 1920s imperial refugee rebbe who lucked into like a secret way to find heaven or whatever but hes mostly just fucking around in the dream forest, has no homicidal goals whatsoever and genuinely cares about his hasidim and worries about their mental health"

i dont think anyone has even ever been on an expedition that they couldnt 100% mathematically succeed at and i apologize to, like, the summonable mirror hidebehinds and caligines on the rare occasion they get got by the good guys

i've never paid a hireling because i care too much about their hypothetical wellbeing

one time one of my followers almost got arrested and i got her out with a favour from authority that i got in a dream, and then i systematically had everyone else with a compatible skill harass the responsible detective until the problem was gone. unfortunately new ones kept appearing but well what can a fellow (extremely strange possibly holy idiot) do about that

in response to any new human problem i throw tishen (ft. mixed dancing with monsters) and consult with various supernatural entities, turn into an animal sometimes (definitely got this skill through kosher means), forge documents and move headquarters. so far this has resulted in fandom darling connie lee defecting from the honkshoo hconstables to join my chassidus for my dope document swag, American Boy - Kombinaciya style

i genuinely think when it says my character is painting paintings and assessing their art quality that he and his hasidim are actually sampling the paints though

because if you look at ysabet's character description and/or some of the karlsson type beat ways ive got us out of almost prison it's hard not to conclude that

also i think he just talks to the constabulary like a gimmicky tumblr blog would, like

"Sir are you aware that your uhhh your. Your paintings are demonic in nature"

":} yes i am painting about gilgulim"

"I don't know what that is but traffic with unclean forces such as uh... that painting of that.. half of a woman, is a criminal offense here"

"really? i am so sorry officer i did not know. you see we kasrilevker hasidim believe that baba yaga from stories, she is not real life. peace and love forever"

anyway his name is betzalel and i am making this post to incentivize drawing him for the tumblr cultsim fandom to plink back and forth as lovingly as i do. thank you for your time everyone (dissolves into a swarm of small cabbage moths)

[trisscar368]

“this company is an old friend” we are literally never escaping capitalism

The flesh and blood human being who is employed to run the Astroglide twitter account has successfully convinced their employer to let them run a fandom kink fest on company time and get paid for it.

This is objectively hilarious. Lube (which is the only name besides calling them “Astroglide” I know for the person that runs that account) is incredibly sexy and winning the “life under capitalism” game. I am kissing them passionately on the mouth.

For real though — I wrote a post talking about how the person who runs that account has a history that says they’re one of us, they are a fan who gets to express and use that knowledge at work. Are they selling a product? Yeah.

Was the company that person works for willing to treat queer relationships as normal before gay marriage was legalized? Yeah. Which means Astroglide-the-company has earned a base level of respect from me. There are degrees of harm under the system we inherited.

I will never live to see a world without capitalism. I just won’t. Even the countries that I deeply envy, with functioning social supports, are still touched by it. The best I can hope for is small steps to make life better for those around me.

Improving the health of my community and attempting economic reform isn’t something I’m going to accomplish by being angry on the internet. That is a slow grind of policy change, finding politicians who are committed to enforcing anti-trust laws, protecting unions, funding the IRS and universal childcare and on and on. Rage at the injustice we must live in needs to be hammered into shape and used, not just screamed at the sky in the hope that if a thousand people believe it the world will change.

The person who runs the Astroglide twitter has been interacting with fandom longer than either of us have lived here. I think it’s important you know that before you pass judgements on the moral weight of what they’re doing, or shame fans for engaging with them.

Have a cookie before you go.

[clatterbane]

Tonight's at least semi-nutritious delight: some cabbage pulao with quick lemon pepper butter salmon on the side! Both turned out looking darker/brighter here than in person.

The rice got a quarter of a big dense head of cabbage wilted down in the pan a little before adding the rice, plus what was left in a bag of peas, half a big carrot cubed up, and half a cubed yellow pepper for variety and color. As usual, I followed my own inspiration more than any particular recipe.

But, I consulted both of these and ran from there. With plenty of cabbage.

That got some bottled lime juice at the end, because that's what was open in the fridge. I also added in a little dried methi/fenugreek leaves instead of using cilantro, because my partner gets not just the soapy taste--but also tin foil. The methi has a very different kind of flavor, but it's herbal and works great with a lot of leafy vegetables in particular.

The salmon was just baked from mostly frozen with salt, lemon pepper seasoning, and a little butter on top. Some convenient protein, with flavors that don't clash with the rest.

It all tastes pretty good, and I was really in need of some freshness. South Asian spice combos can do really good things for cabbage. That was more veggie prep work than I really felt like doing today, but glad to have the results!

[bookofthegear]

You decide to ask Jimmy which direction to go. He is clearly very pleased to be consulted and fluffs himself up proudly. “My dad never gave specifics about the layout,” he says. “He said it changed around a lot. Mostly he just talked about individual rooms and how individual adventurers…err…died.” He deflates a bit. “But I’m sure that won’t happen to you!”

Well. Here’s hoping.

“What I think,” Jimmy says, “is that if there’s a weird noise, I’d rather know what it is, instead of having it behind me.”

This strikes you as excellent advice. You turn to the west, where the squeaking is coming from, light your lantern, and stride boldly forward, like a real adventurer!

The corridor here is in poor repair. The tree roots that made the crack you entered by have broken through the concrete in a dozen places, twisting around the stone gears and casting gnarled shadows in the lantern light. Bits of broken concrete grit crunch under your feet.

You go a few dozen yards and then the corridor opens into a long, narrow room. Huge gears protrude from the floor, but are immobilized by a veritable forest of tree roots. The far end of the room is choked with them to the point of become impassable. You can’t even see the far wall, though dappled bits of light come in through chinks in the ceiling.

The source of the squeaking is revealed as a single gear, hanging in a shaft of sunlight high up against the ceiling. It is the first one you’ve seen that is turning. It is hanging from a metal rod and doesn’t look like it’s connected to another gear. Regardless, it squeaks as it turns.

(Your regular reminder that choosing cabbages will end the game. Though you’ll live!)

[yostresswritinggirl]

Puppet reader and Tighnari bonding moment when they paint his scars for him and suddenly I’m thinking they should have inside jokes about being lightning victims. Potential besties? Scara and Cyno would never willingly do anything to wipe the smiles off the face of their lover. But really, there is poly potential if you squint. A wide range of partners even. But it’s also nice if they are the lovely immortal forest couple just hanging out in the dream forest of cabbage fairies.

Listen, the music would be an absolute world wonder with Scara and puppet reader joining in. Them teaching the Aranara to play with temari balls? Also cute. Even cuter? Puppet reader crafts them and it signifies them considering someone a friend. The friendship contract. Look at how it resembles the Fates. Oh, imagine it being a daily thing for the Traveler to get one and it’s randomized. Pls hoyo, that’s so cool. Give us a puppet reader to visit so they give us a free Fate each day. Resets at 4 am. Scara’s banner as the Wanderer? Intertwined Fates dropping faster than -I caught myself from making another jab at Tomo. I’ll stop. Sorry Kazu. Hm speaking of Kazu… he’s a wanderer and Scara is the Wanderer…

Puppet reader smiling makes everyone’s kokoro go doki doki. There, I said it. Maybe compiling a list of Teyvat divine beauties should be a thing. Will have to consult Zhongli.

My out of pocket jokes stem from where my family is from! It’s not as common as it used to be, but it happens here and there. And honestly, this is less horrifying than most myth (Zeus) families.

Bloom anon

"That must be... Shocking news."

"Well, I appreciate if you would en-lighten me on this matter."

Their friendship now has a chokehold on me, cue them showing off their matching kintsugi to their lovers that just came back from the war (aka Traveler's team) and them smiling and nodding in hopes they don't notice the fact that they still hate each other. A poly would also be so cute, but truly, Scara and Cyno fit more as "pov: you hurt their lovers"

You know what, you mentioning that reminded of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs hahaha Puppet Reader and the 64? Aranaras lmaao what with their singing voice too, oh they would make a beautiful choir with them in the forest like some folk legend - but a fate per day npc? That's so op hahaha hoyo would never

Puppet Reader continuing their legacy as a mythological creature except this time it's in a forest and there's a really scary guard dog and hundreds of invisible Aranara. Now I'm seeing Hades and Persephone vibes but in reverse because it's in the overworld instead

[starrabbitmedia]

What is everyone’s favorite food in the Star Palace human Au?

So I'm gonna answer this one out of character as well because I love being able to explain the details behind certain things.

Zachary's favorite food is Gorditas De Natas. It's a fluffy pancake-like dessert served outside of churches after Mass. Because his family is super religious and he very much is not, this snack was always associated with being allowed back outside again. It's a literal "taste of freedom." He associates it with then getting to socialize with the other kids and play after being stuck in Mass for so long. His second favorite is Flan, which is admittedly a joke between Gknight and I. That joke being: Zavy's VA, Reed, had no idea what Flan was.

According to Gknight, Tiago's favorite foods would be Chilles Rellenos (Stuffed Pepers) or Enchiladas. He for sure likes things really spicy. I always double-check with Gknight, as Tiago is the human version of Taki, who is his character. So when he's included in any Star Palace canon (human or official), I consult him.

Felicity's favorite food would actually be Empanadas. Or I should say, her favorite food became Empanadas after she met Tiago. She was absolutely starving when she stumbled upon his food truck. It was the first thing he gave her to eat when they met. It was also the first thing they learned how to make together, that they still love to cook together because it makes them genuinely happy.

Whenever she eats one, she thinks of him. (And NO empanada is as good as her husband's empanada.)

Shura comes from a place that is very, very cold. Therefore, their favorite food is richly-flavored soups. The two that they love the most are: Zharkoye and Borscht.

Zharkoye is a hearty meat and potato stew with carrots and mushrooms. It's very filling, incredibly warming, and is good for those cold winter days.

Borscht is one of the most traditional soups in Russian culture. The soup's main ingredient is beets, which give it a hint of natural sweetness. Along with the beets are potatoes, cabbage, carrots, celery, tomatoes and a dollop of sour-cream on top. Occasionally, it also has meat, but the most traditional form is meat-less.

Last but not least is Milton. Their two favorite foods are: Grilled cheese and mashed potatoes. Both are very easy, are low-effort to cook, and are childhood comfort foods of theirs. If you feel like this answer is simple, you're right. These foods are simple and straight to the point. That's why they like them.