#no Abby doesn’t technically die

[lil-oreo-crumbles]

Abigail, Mercy, and Mary! 🩷💚💛 Together, they’ll accuse you of witchcraft ;)

Was inspired to make this because I remembered that whole saying about not taking pictures of trios, and the legends around what happens to the person in the middle soon afterwards. Thought it was appropriate for Salem’s Bond’s lore!

Fun Fact: My High School History teacher compared them to The Plastics and to this day I find that so funny.

[arolesbianism]

Some very lazy concept doodles for my swap au Wendy

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟

147! Between you and @tizniz this third chapter is getting written damn.

---

He’s not taking any chances. 

Athena walks forward into the house, down a hallway into a bright, open kitchen. There’s an abundance of natural lighting and counter space. Bobby would love to have a space like this to cook in. That’s not the first thing he should notice about the space, but it is. The first thing he should notice is the open sliding glass door leading to a back patio. A soft breeze is wafting into the house. There’s a large, flapping tear in what was once a screen door, there to compliment the glass. Athena takes a deep, pained breath when she sees it. 

“Look,” Bobby tells her, motioning to the fridge. 

Athena follows his gaze. There’s a handwritten note pinned with a Disneyland magnet. Beside artwork signed by Harry. 

“Oh,” she says quietly. 

She walks to the fridge and pulls the note off. Bobby watches her face tighten as she reads it. When she’s done, she sighs, folds the note, and shoves it into her pocket. 

“He’s gone,” she mutters. 

“I’m so sorry,” Bobby replies. 

“He knew he was getting sick. Had the foresight to leave a note.”

“I’m glad it’s not a mystery, at least. As horrible as it is.”

She nods. Swallows thickly. Then, her eyes squeeze shut. She clamps a shaking hand over her mouth.

Shit. 

“I’m so sorry, Athena,” Bobby says. He lowers his gun and rests a hand on her shoulder. He’s not sure how this gesture will be received, but he doesn’t feel that he can do nothing. He doesn’t know her well enough to know what specifically would be best for her to hear. However, he does know one thing. Nothing eases this sort of pain. 

Thankfully, Athena responds okay to his touch. Leans into it ever so slightly. Barely perceptible. They stay like that for a minute before she finally pulls away, dropping her hand and opening her red, teary eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” she mutters.

“God, don’t be,” Bobby insists. 

“I knew already, you know?” She tells him. “In my heart, I knew.”

“Proof is different,” Bobby empathizes.

He remembers the difference between knowing Marcy would likely die of her burns, if not her grief, and then watching it happen. The last shred of hope extinguished. 

She nods. “Whatever happened between us, Michael was a good father. He loved his kids. I had to try.”

Bobby can’t say he’d have chosen any differently, in her position. Though, he’d have never been the person leaving with the kids. He’d have been the one left. 

“I knew this is what I would find,” Athena shakes her head. “If anything.”

“You can do something for closure,” Bobby suggests. “We’ll help.”

They haven’t had a funeral for anyone. Bobby had asked Buck if that would help him after Abby. Because, certainly, the former librarian was dead. There was no question in his or anyone else’s mind, save Buck, about that. Buck had refused. She might come back. All that hope, Bobby’s not sure how he stomachs it. 

“That would help the kids,” Athena agrees. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Bobby replies. 

“Can you help me gather some of their things?” Athena asks. “I can’t bring them here, now.”

He gets that, too. It’s technically as safe as anywhere. Gated. Free of intruders. But who wants to shelter their children in a haunted house? 

“Absolutely,” Bobby says. “Just tell me what to do.”

▪️▪️▪️

A few bags of things loaded into the backseat of the Tesla later, Bobby drives Athena back towards the library. 

He always knew she was tough. No one on earth could meet her and fail to see that. Strong. Brave. Resilient. All those things emanate from her proudly. But Bobby thinks he sees another sort of grit in her, too. One that aches in its loneliness. He can almost see her doing exactly what he has done, so many times throughout his life. She is holding her pain rigidly beside her. Not looking at it. Refusing to fully let it in. 

It’s a hard skill to learn. Even harder to unlearn. He’s not sure he’s mastered the latter. Not even close. 

Maybe that’s why he does what he does next. Says what he says. Because he understands the pain she’s in. And he wants her to know she will only be met with support here. 

“I lost my family four years ago.” 

She turns to look at him, surprised. 

“I didn’t know that,” she says. 

He nods. “I didn’t talk about it at all, until… Well until the end of the world brought our team a little closer together.”

“I’m sorry, Bobby.” She says. 

He shakes his head. “I’m just trying to… I don’t know exactly. But I get it, is all I’m saying. No marriage is perfect, but losing your husband is horrible, and I’m sorry, and I do understand what you’re going through.”

Athena is quiet for a moment.

“He was leaving me for another man,” she says eventually.

Okay. So maybe Bobby doesn’t understand exactly what she’s going through. 

“That sounds complicated,” Bobby says carefully.

She chuckles a little bitterly. “It sure was. We didn’t leave things on very good terms. I wish we’d had a better last conversation.”

That Bobby does understand.

“You just have to trust he knew how you felt, in the bigger picture.” Bobby tells her. “But feeling that way doesn’t come overnight.”

“No,” she agrees. “It doesn’t.”

There’s another long pause before she speaks again. 

“I’m not sure I know what to do now.”

“What do you mean by that?” Bobby asks. 

“I’m used to having a very clear direction,” Athena explains. “In my work, things felt black and white. Finding Michael was a goal I could follow. Now what? Now what do we do?”

“Survive,” Bobby says. 

Ironic, he knows. He who had never planned on surviving this long without his wife and kids. 

“To what end? This mess just keeps going on forever.” Athena’s nose wrinkles. “There’s no order. No structure. No society.”

“But your children are still alive,” Bobby says. “So you have to figure it out anyway.”

“That’s the truth,” she agrees. 

[abbygrabska]

We Need To Talk

happens between age of steel and idiots lantern

shout out to @jjunee-bug for making me realize I never posted this!

While Rose is sleeping at Jackie's, I decide to talk to the Doctor about my feelings. I find him in his usual spot, under the console tinkering away. “Doctor?” Humming, he looks up at me. “We need to talk.” He stops what he’s doing, getting up from his spot, “What’s wrong?” “Have you noticed that I’ve been upset with you?” I ask. “Yeah, ‘course I have.” “Do you know why I’m upset?” “Not really.” I sigh, putting my hand on my forehead, “I’m upset because you kissed Madame de Pompadour right in front of me. And then as if that wasn’t enough, you left to save her, not knowing that there was a way back, leaving me to think that I would be stuck without you for the rest of my life, and no way home.” He winces, “Technically she kissed me.” I glare at him, “I don’t know why I thought you would listen.” I turn to leave he grabs my hand. “I’m sorry.” “Sorry doesn’t help. You hurt me when you didn’t even think about what it would do to me when you left to save her. It’s like I don’t mean anything to you at all.” I tear up. “You mean everything to me.” “It doesn’t feel like it.” I pull my arm out of his grip and start to walk away. “I love you.” I stop in my tracks at his admission. I hear his footsteps approach, “I love you in every way imaginable, in ways that matter and in ways that don’t, I love you in every possible timeline we’ve ever met in, and I will carry my love for you in my bones for every regeneration, every day until I die and even then, I will love you in whatever afterlife there is. And I will love you until every sun and every planet in the galaxy dies. Because the love I have for you could never compare to anyone I have ever loved in my life, you are the only thing that matters from here on out. Because my hearts beat for you and only you.” His arms wrap around me, “And I am terrified that you will decide that this life is too much for you, that I am too much for you. I’m terrified that you will leave me behind and find someone else. Because there is no one else for me.” I don’t turn, “How do I know you’re telling the truth?” “When I was regenerating, do you remember how the residual energy was flowing into you? That wasn’t an accident. Time Lords, we have this thing called a tether. It’s incredibly rare to find one, but when you do, it’s the most beautiful thing in the galaxy. It's like a soulmate, but it also takes on a psychic level. Tethers, well we can feel when the other is near based on how warm our chest gets. And we can feel their emotions and hear their thoughts. It doesn’t work the same because you’re human, but when I first held your hand, it was a rush of warmth through my body. It was you the universe chose for me, my tether. I’m sorry I hurt you, and if it happens again, you have to tell me to fix it. I swear on the Tardis, my hearts beat for you and only you.” My heart beats faster at the admission. “I need some space.” He unwraps his arms from around me, “Take as much time as you need.” I nod, walking out of the Tardis and to the park near the Powell estate, sitting on the bench in front of the blacktop.

The last time I sat here was when the Doctor sent me away. I vaguely remember a blind man who ended up being a future version of the Doctor talking to me. Tears run down my face, I reach up and wipe them away. “Abby?” I turn and find… “Doctor?" It's him, but he’s in his last body. “How did you get here?” “The Tardis just dropped me off here, I wasn't sure why, then I saw you and--” He notices my red face, “Have you been crying?” He sits down next to me, “What’s the matter?” I stare at him, “When was the last time you saw me?” “When you turned down traveling with me. Why?” I sigh, “I guess this was meant to happen then. I do travel with you, because you came back and told me it travels in time too." He furrows his brow, “So you’re saying the Tardis is somewhere nearby, but it’s future me inside?” I nod. He smiles, “Fantastic.” I shrug, pausing for a second, "Why did you ask me to travel with you?" He hesitates, “I thought you would make a good companion.” “You’re lying. ‘Cause you told me today it was because I was your tether.” I stare him down, “Why would you lie about that?” He runs his hand down his face, “The moment my hand touched yours it was instant, this warmth filled me and it was you who caused it. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, it’s not fair to you if I take that away.”“What do you mean ‘take it away’?”“Tethers are permanent. There’s no backing out of it once the bond forms. You wouldn’t be able to feel for anyone else until death parts us. It wouldn’t be right to put you in that situation at nineteen.”“You don’t get to decide that for me.” I say angrily, “You don’t get to choose if I go with you or not. That’s my choice. I made it a long time ago. I love you, and I will love every regeneration you go through.” He smiles wistfully, “Why don’t you tell him that?” I blink, pausing for a moment, and smile, “I will.” And with that, I stand up and run back to the Tardis. The doors open for me and I stop just in the entryway. He’s sat on the Captain’s chair, looking downhearted, but looks up when the doors close behind me. He gets to his feet and offers a nervous smile. I walk towards him silently, he watches with intrigue. “It’s you.” I tell him, “It’s only you and it always will be. In this life and the next one.” I take a deep breath, “I love you. I will love you until the stars die out. And I want to stay with you for as long as life allows me.” He beams pressing a kiss on my forehead as he embraces me. “I would do anything to ensure you could travel with me forever.” He murmurs. The words echo through my mind, something about that is familiar but I can’t quite place it.

[klonnieshippersclub]

How does Esther feel about Klonnie being in a relationship? She's pretty connected to the Bennett line through Ayana

Esther: you are with the Bennett witch?

Klaus: and you can't stop us! I know how you hate to see me happy

Esther: is this what it feels like to be proud of you? You know how much I love the Bennetts. Welcome to the family, Bonnie!

Bonnie: ...uh, thanks?

Esther DID praise Bonnie for being the one to fight Klaus so bravely. As well as praising Ayana for her mentorship, she saw a sister and companion in her. Esther did seek out Bennett witches to help with her cause. Bonnie’s ties to Klaus in a romantic sense would be bad news for Esther. Bonnie doesn’t want Klaus dead and they’d team up on the side to find a way to get rid of his mother. Esther was leeching off Bennett magic and it would’ve been sensible if Bonnie was invited to the Mikaelson Ball. Abby is disgrace to the Bennett name and a lousy mother like Esther, but she is who took down Mikael. Esther would’ve been leeching off Bonnie with in her attendance at the ball. Let Bonnie go dress up and be sexy ;).

Esther does have a controlling and obsessive relationship with children. They live and die by her rules. She has an emotionally incestous relationship towards them (mostly her sons) and Finn in the biggest victim if you ask me. She does not want any of her children to be married or have families. Partially because that would mean her deal with Dahlia being exposed and also losing control over her children. Technically, the Mikaelson’s should’ve moved on and been away from her given their ages and the time period. However, if she had to accept a bride for Niklaus… she'd be thrilled that he chose a Bennett witch.

[purpleshadow-star]

Au where, when someone is ready to die, they don’t feel any pain. The more ready someone is to die, the less pain they feel.

tws: lots of talk about death and dying (not technically suicide ideation but could theoretically be read as such), mentions of Neil's torture in the Nest (very vague and brief) and by Lola (not really vague but not explicit either, if that makes sense)

Neil Josten is ready to die.

It’s not that he necessarily wants to die, but he knows it’s coming, and he’s made peace with that. He’s ready for it.

He’s not worried about his impending death. He’s known that he was never going to make it to the end of the year ever since he first signed the papers to become a Fox and put himself in the spotlight, so he knows that, no matter what, at least he’ll have a painless death.

Sure, his experience in the Nest ends up being more painful than Neil wants it to be, but it isn't all that surprising. He might be ready to die, but he’s not ready to die there. Not by Riko’s hand. He refuses. So, there’s pain. But that’s a different circumstance. Someone else is depending on him to live. Neil doesn’t want to think about what could happen to Andrew if Neil doesn’t keep Riko’s attention on him. So, it’s different. He needed to live to ensure Andrew would be okay.

In the end, it doesn’t matter anyway

Once Neil starts getting the countdown, though? Well, he knew he wasn’t making it to the end of the school year, but now he knows exactly how much longer he has. When the day rolls around, Neil is more than ready. He’s been waiting for this moment for months, almost an entire year, really. Sure, it sucks that Neil won’t be able to play the game he loves with his team anymore, and sure, it’s a shock to see Romeo and Jackson and Lola waiting for him, but that doesn’t change the fact that Neil is ready for them. He’s glad that he’ll get to take away this last bit of satisfaction from Lola. She won’t see him flinch. She won’t hear a peep of pain from him when she inevitably tortures him because he’s been preparing for this day for what feels like his whole life.

He’s prepared to die.

So imagine Neil’s shock when he acutely feels the sting of metal that is Lola’s first cut. He’s so surprised that he fails to hold back an audible noise of pain. Only a not so long buried instinct from when his mother was still alive keeps his next reactions in, but his slip-up doesn’t go unnoticed. Lola is behind him, slicing him up, taunting him. Look who’s not so ready to die after all. I’m almost disappointed by how easy it was to get a reaction from you. I was hoping for a little more of a challenge. Tell me, Junior, what do you have to live for? What is making you want to live? Why aren’t you ready to die?

Neil barely hears her. He’s too busy asking himself all the same questions. Just a few months ago, he took an exy ball to the stomach and barely felt a thing. What changed?

Unbidden, his mind wanders to Andrew. Andrew and keys and the Monsters and the Upperclassmen and Wymack and Abby. The Foxes. His team. His friends. He realizes that, at some point in the past few months, they’ve managed to get past the walls he put up. They’ve rooted themselves deep in his chest, and they’re not letting go.

They are the reason he’s not ready for death anymore. The thought of leaving them hurts. He knows it’s necessary. He knows he needs to let them go, or else he would only end up bringing more monsters to their doorstep, but he’s now realizing that he’s not ready to let them go. Have to and ready to are two completely different things, he realizes as his voice is violently ripped from his throat through the burn of a cigarette lighter on his face. He’s feeling this pain because he’s not ready to let go of his new family yet. He’s not ready to leave them. He’s realizing now that he might never be ready.

A few hours ago, Neil was sure he was ready to die. He walked to his death with open arms, ready to embrace a painless, inevitable release. But now, in the midst of unexpected pain and agony, Neil changes his mind. He thinks he wants to keep feeling this pain. He doesn’t want the painless release of death anymore. He wants to fight back. He wants to keep living. He wants to make it back to his team. He wants to make it back to his friends. He wants to make it back to Andrew. He wants to make it back home.

Neil makes up his mind. Even if it means distancing himself from the person he’s lied into existence over the past few months, even if it means becoming the person he’s been running away from for almost nine years now, he’ll do whatever it takes to make it back to his family.

Nathaniel Wesninski isn’t ready to die.

[valiantarcher]

lady-merian: What’s In the Forests of the Night?

So, I think the series is technically called The Goblin Wars, but it’s a trilogy inspired by William Blake’s The Tyger, Christiana Rossetti’s Goblin Market (I think this one is right), and the Irish Sidhe. It’s been a while, so I’m going to call on @lover-of-the-starkindler to correct any mistakes, but the general gist is this (with the long, spoilerly part under the cut):

Our protagonist is a high school girl named Tegan Wylltson, who has a pretty normal life: she goes to school with her best friend Abby, lives with her parents and younger brother Aiden, and spends her free time volunteering with the vet at a local zoo. And then her parents decide to answer her grandmother’s request to give a teenage distant relation a new chance in America. Finn Mac Cumhaill may be handsome but he’s also strange and full of trouble from the moment he shows up on their doorstep. And before the week is out, a strange creature has appeared in the Wylltson’s basement, Finn has fled, and Tegan’s mother has caught a sudden sickness and died.

Intriguing start, right???

Obviously, Tegan is reeling from her mother’s death, as are her father and brother - but Aiden is the one who keeps talking about seeing sick, decaying cats around. This eventually results in social services getting involved, and basically some mandated therapy sessions for Aiden in lieu of him being removed from their home (there’s also some question about the father’s fitness, I guess? At some point, he seems to be losing his memory and grip on reality, but I can’t remember the exact sequence). The therapist is very calm and doesn’t seem to see any harm in Aiden’s stories. In addition, there’s Abby, who seems to be straying a line between too much creativity (talking about seeing goblins and other strange sights) and rebelling against her Italian Catholic upbringing (some odd theological comments, including wondering why God couldn’t be a woman), with a dash of boy-craziness (crushing on a gorgeous guy that she keeps seeing around).

Tegan is just trying to keep things together and is succeeding pretty well - up until she meets Abby’s crush: he’s not just gorgeous, he’s very very wrong somehow. And then Finn shows up again, and there are some fights and fleeing for their lives and so on and so forth because - you guessed it - the crush is a Sidhe, Aiden is really seeing goblins, and Tegan’s mother didn’t die from a normal, if rogue, human disease.

At any rate, Tegan, Finn, and Aiden end up in the current stage of an ongoing battle between the Sidhe/Goblins and the branch of Irish Travelers Finn and Tegan’s family belong to. Finn was raised to fight the Sidhe/Goblins (I think he was sent to America partially because they were too hot on his trail and he wasn’t that good at fighting yet???), and Tegan’s mother had delayed her fate by moving to America, getting married, and settling down. There’s a lot of fighting, travels into the fae world, and general high stakes - pretty good stuff.

ALSO, we get Tegan and Finn being interested in each other, Tegan’s dad going, “Well, I don’t necessarily have an issue with you, Finn, but I’m not letting Tegan’s plans of vet med school get sidetracked at this stage because of you”, and Finn going, “I respect that and while, yes, I will be around a lot, I will continue to get to know Tegan and try very hard to keep it just friendly.” And Tegan and Finn mostly make that work??? I dunno, it’s just a VERY rare tact to take, and I really appreciated it. :)

But now, having hit the high points, we hit the low points, AKA the third book. I honestly don’t even remember how everything gets resolved, but I’m pretty sure the plot doesn’t deliver. The climax is a big battle happening in our world that Finn, Tegan, and Aiden have to escape from to defeat the Sidhe in the fae world, and Teagan’s dad is being the distraction (AKA sacrifice) for this escape. But he’s not alone, because, what’s this coming out of left field and smashing everything?? It’s the female therapist who is also supposed to be God??? And things suddenly go from ‘Abby’s theological comments are just a reflection of her different take on things’ to ‘Abby was 100% right, never mind the fact it doesn’t make any plot sense much less theological sense about WHY the therapist and everything else!!!’. :/

SO.

Yeah.

There are some things I can handle and ignore and work around, but not that.

At any rate, I think most people make it out alive, but not everyone. I thought Teagan’s dad died, but that doesn’t really make sense because the therapist was there to back him up (again ????? why doesn’t everything just suddenly get fixed if God is right there??? Not to mention, why a human body???), so I think he survives. Abby survives, I think, as do the primary three - and they rescue Teagan’s aunt, who’s been trapped in the fae world for years, and her goblin quasi-love interest, I think???

So, in conclusion: there was SO MUCH good potential and, even with some flaws/disagreements (didn’t care for the evolutionary bend on Teagan’s work with primates at the zoo), so much going for it in the first two books and then there was an irreparable direction taken for me. Very sad and frustrating. :(

[wooglebear]

Her.

Another OC for my Roleswap AU. Yes, my poor roleswap AU — which has blossomed into something… a lot more complex than your average TETOCU AU when it was originally supposed to be a simple swap AU to the point where I'm going to write it as a bunch of tumblr posts.

Yet I still have plans for more OCs!

This OC here is Catherine Yomiuri (no relation)!

She is a teen who is half American and half Japanese, and was JUST introduced into Pamela and Summer's family as a stepsister. Regardless to say Pamela is confused af and Summer is excited to have some company.

She's a bit of an influencer. She's not quite as vain as Valentine, though, and she doesn't use her cellphone for influencer things like her cousin. While Valentine believes he is going to be famous, Catherine is a bit humbler.

Deep inside she hates herself for her nationality, but clings to a bubbly facade. Basically, a Type A Stepford Smiler.

Yes, she made her own hairstyle and has heterochromia.

She feeds the younger kids porky tales of derring do. Not adventure type derring do, but "oh, I smoked" type derring do.

She's the kind of bitch that will brag about how much underage drinking she does to get bad girl cred, only to pass out from like, a single beer. Seriously, she takes one sip of the stuff and is coughing her lungs out thinking she’s gonna die. She talks big talk and acts all cool but she has no tolerance. None.

However, Catherine has an Achilles heel: She hates British stuff, and she's pretty sure that she doesn’t belong in the twins' house. Unfortunately, every time she tries to get away, someone yanks her back into a British manner learning class she’d rather skip.

She loves parties, though. She knows from experience that parties with piñatas are particularly fun.

She's friends with the Brown sisters and their cousin, Henrietta. Whatever they do - larping, paintball, ect., she does too.

Technically, she is also Valentine Glorious's cousin, and is just about the only one out of Pamela and Summer that tolerates him. Given how both Valentine and Catherine are influencers, Catherine tries to teach him other influencing ways (noticing his lack of interactions with others, and his general lack of… humility), though she’s not happy when she realizes what a narcissistic prick he is. Valentine would drive pretty much everyone up the wall with his incessant narcissistic nature. Valentine calls a frustrated Catherine "Cathy". He requires more work, more time to get through to someone as vain as him.

Catherine is a bit mischievous. She loves playing pranks on ppl. Her favourite is prank calling on April Fools' Day!

Catherine loves Pokemon the Series: Sun and Moon, Sailor Moon, Transformers Rescue Bots, SpongeBob, Dora the Explorer, Blaze And The Monster Machines, Bubble Guppies, Abby Hatcher, Butterbean's Cafe, Gravity Falls, The Owl House, Amphibia, TGAMMG, and more. Her stepsisters are confused as to why she loves "childish" shows compared to their beloved British shows like Mr. Bean and Peppa Pig. Her sisters are camp Sofia the First while she's Camp Elena of Avalor. She cried when everyone “died” in Raya and the Last Dragon.

Has admitted to binge reading the entirety of Ennui Go.

Her voice claim is Jessica DiCicco, lol

Speaks Japanese every now and then but she mainly uses English.

"バレンタイン...黙っててくれるの?!" (Translation: Valentine... Will you just SHUT THE HELL UP?!) - Catherine to Valentine

Neutral with Melvin and Melvin-Borg. Instantly hated George and Harold.

Catherine's opinons on her stepsisters is that she doesn't have a major problem with either of them. They are her stepsisters and as far as she's concerned, there's a mutual, however strained, love she shares between them.

Catherine never knew her (Japanese) dad. The "In Space" arc provides more insight on the stepsisters' (British and American) mothers through video calls.

If Hazel ever met Catherine it would basically be Dave and Sky, but platonic and both are girls. Don't worry, Cathy won't become a disgusting pyscho.

She's a bit of a barista, making all sorts of drinks. She loves to experiment. Her favorite flavor is black tea, topped only by bubble tea.

And that's all I've got for Catherine!

[bottom-lexa]

Righty’o let’s see.

Clarke and Lexa are both older now. Early to mid forties. Late thirties at a push but I’m leaning towards early forties.

They got married when they were around 27-29, they fell in love in college and had been together since. But Clarke’s family never approved of Lexa. We’ll get into details later. But regardless, they fought for it, they stayed together, Clarke went against her family’s wishes, and eventually they got married.

Now Clarke’s family is Very Very rich and influential and powerful. It’s a company her great granddad built from the ground, something tech, something engineering, let’s say space related, akin to SpaceX maybe. Clarke works at said company too, her house, her car, her freaking everything is tied to the money that is technically her family’s. Which, unfortunately, means her family has a lot of hold over her. And holding a high position within the company means she can’t just drop it and walk away.

Anyways, they’re still together. They learn to block out the entirety of the Griffin family and live their lives together. They’re happy. They’re in love, nothing can go wrong.

That is until Clarke gets sick about 5 years later. Without treatment it’s life threatening. But if treated she will be absolutely fine and live a perfectly normal life - just with regular medication and treatment. It’s a lifelong/chronic condition. Only thing is treatment is expensive. It’s not covered by her very very good health insurance. And the only person to be able to help pay for it are her parents (actually I’m not sure if parents or just Abby. Idk if Jake is dead or not). And they decide this is their chance to get rid of Lexa.

So they put the condition on Clarke that they will pay for her treatment now and the ongoing care she needs for pretty much all her life (until she can afford it herself of course) only if Lexa leaves. Clarke’s ready to put on a fight from her damn hospital bed. But Lexa wont hear it, she will leave if it means Clarke won’t die. She’ll leave if it means her wife, her love, her everything, gets to be okay and live her life for as long as she should. Clarke says she doesn’t want to live if it’s without Lexa, and Lexa says she can’t live with herself if Clarke dies because of her.

Clarke’s family were banking on Lexa loving Clarke too much to stay. They knew she would do anything for Clarke. And she does. Clarke won’t let her leave so without telling her Lexa packs her things, writes her a letter, writes her parents a letter, and leaves. Never to be heard from again.

Onto the present.

Clarke is the CEO of the company now, has been for a year. Her parents are retired and have handed the company to her. It’s been nearly a decade since Lexa left. Clarke was bitter about it for a little while, because that was the only way she could go on without Lexa. But given the way it all ended, and given how Clarke was unable to contact her for so long, she doesn’t try now, hopes and believes Lexa has moved on, found someone else, and is living the life Clarke couldn’t give her. It’s been nearly ten years after all. They never got divorced though. Lexa never sent her the papers, and Clarke didn’t know where she was to send them. Not like she ever could. But Clarke knew if Lexa had sent them, she would sign it no questions asked.

So imagine her surprise - and horror - when she gets a call in the middle of the work day from halfway across the country from some hospital in bumfuck-nowhere about her wife.

Turns out Lexa has been in a terrible car accident, and Clarke being on record as her wife, was who they called.

She’s there as fast as her private jet can get there. Finds out if truly is that bad, that lexa is severely injured, and all things point to her needing help and support for a good while if not forever. She has no one else. She never did, her mom passed when she was a child and her dad when she was a teenager, she doesn’t have any other family. And goddammit Clarke is not going to leave her here alone like this.

Not to mention this hospital is very much unequipped to handle much of this, there’s not a lot of options around here. Clarke makes the decision to have her flown somewhere a lot better, money really is no object.

And when Lexa wakes days later, still hooked up to machines Clarke doesn’t know the names of, the last person she expects to see sitting by her bedside is wife.

Lexa will have to move back in with Clarke. She doesn’t have much choice in the matter when she can’t feed or dress herself. Their relationship is…different now. They’re practically strangers, getting to know each other again all the while Lexa needing to depend on Clarke for basic tasks, and Clarke trying so hard to take care of Lexa without overstepping her boundaries. She would hire a live-in nurse for a while, until Lexa improved, as much as Clarke would like to take care of Lexa herself, she knows Lexa would probably not be comfortable with that given how long it’s been since they saw each other.

If I were to write it, this would then follow them as their relationship changes and grows. Asking questions they have been wondering about for the past ten years. “Why didn’t you come look for me?” “I didn’t think you’d want to see me.” And all that with the trauma of the accident and of being disabled now, my wife I haven’t seen in ten years needs to help me get out of bed and I don’t know how to feel about that. Going through the physical pain and finding comfort in a touch she had forgotten. Finding herself crying because of her current physical state only to be comforted by Clarke, which only makes her feel worse because they lost ten years together. Clarke not knowing what to do when Lexa is feeling low, not knowing whether she should go and sit with her or whether she should give her her space because sometimes being around her makes Lexa feel even worse.

It’s all just. Complicated and sad. Clarke’s family is a pain again but this time they have no financial control over Clarke so she can very much tell them to fuck off.

I have an angsty idea for a Clexa fic….

[asharkapologist]

Haunted game locations ranked by how likely it is that they're actually haunted

Paseo del Mar High School, SCK/SCK:R

So this is slightly cheating since no one in the game suggests anything supernatural is going on, but there is technically a semi-popular theory that Jake’s ghost is haunting the school, leaving the messages, setting off the alarms randomly, and banging on the door in the teacher’s lounge. I will say that it is a fun theory and is given credence since some messages, especially in the original game, don’t make sense for Jake to have posted (like the one telling you how to beat the endgame challenge, though that doesn’t make sense as to being left by Jake either unless ghosts can see into the future, plus weird messages like that carried into the next game, and no one died there). There’s less of those omniscient messages in the Remastered, though, and I think the ones that do indicate that Jake knew he would be killed could have plausibly been written by Jake once he realized he was screwed and probably going to die. As for the alarms and banging, it’s possible that there was some other prankster in the school setting off the alarm or hitting the teacher’s lounge door (or maybe it was Mitch hitting the door, who knows). Most stuff in at least the Remastered version mostly makes sense, but in both versions, there’s still some weird stuff going on. 3/10, maybe Jake’s ticked off ghost was haunting the school, wanting someone to hurry up and solve his murder.

The Golden Gardenia, MHM

There’s definitely something going on here. Even after you find Abby’s tape recorders and the like that show she was creating spooky noises, some things still aren’t explained, like the swan head moving, the portrait blinking, and the ghost of the woman passing through mirrors. Nothing indicated Abby was faking those, especially the portrait blinking and the swan head moving--like, that thing looked like it was pure wood without any mechanics in it at all, and how would she make a portrait blink or pure wood move? Something is definitely up in the Golden Gardenia. 9/10, but at least nothing demonic, dangerous, or evil seems to be happening. The portrait, ghost in the mirror, and swan seem pretty chill. 

Wickford Castle, TRT

I’m not even sure if this counts lol but technically during the game, it’s suggested/joked about that the castle might be haunted due to the strange noises caused by Jacques sawing at the gate bars, but after you catch him sawing at the bars, the noises stop, so nothing else was causing the noises. 0/10, not haunted, it was just Jacques. 

Malone’s cabin/the forest/the graveyard, DOG

Everything here was explained properly. The ghost dogs were just normal, cute, good dogs who had goggles on and went a little nuts when a whistle was blown. Though…hmmm, it is a little odd that you can hear the ghost dogs/howling at night but you never see them after the first night….1/10, maybe some forest ghost dogs are wandering around, but everything was most likely Emily’s doing, but you never know.

Captain’s Cove Amusement Park, CAR

Again, things here were pretty well explained from the odd noises in the haunted house, to the roller coaster abruptly stopping, to the merry-go-round starting up on its own. Everything had a plausible explanation, although Ingrid does say that Kessler said bad luck would follow people who separated his carousel horses, and, well, the Trent family DID have quite bad luck…maybe the Trents were cursed due to buying just one horse. Or maybe the Trents are just unlucky. 2/10.

Shadow Ranch/Dry Creek, SHA

Everything here was explained. The horse glowed because of the powder, and Shorty’s bank robber friends were the ones hanging out in ghost town. Nothing supernatural here, just a good game and an awesome historical backstory. 1/10, just because Dry Creek has some spooky vibes, and I wouldn’t want to visit there even after Shorty’s accomplices were arrested. Even if there’s no ghosts, something’s off/ominous about that little town. 

Blackmoor Manor, CUR

Seems like the scariest thing is the dysfunction in this family…like honestly, seems like Jane really was rather neglected, although gaslighting Linda and putting her life in danger is a…yikes. But most everything was explained…sorta. How was Jane able to make her voice sound so low and guttural in the opening cutscene? And who was that woman walking down the hall that one night? She was too short to be Jane. Was it Ethel? She disappears when Nancy goes around the corner, and she could have ducked into a passageway or jumped/ran down the stairs, but if she did do that, she did it remarkably silently. And like… some of the gargoyles like, move on their own/blink on their own. How did Jane do that? That’s some demonic/ghostly stuff right there, and I wouldn’t be surprised if  at least one Penvellyn did legitimately dabble in like demonic stuff. 6/10. Most of the over-the-top stuff is explained, but the subtle things? Not as much.

Hurley’s Comet, TRN

Honestly, I felt like the ‘haunted train’ aspect wasn’t really fully embraced. John’s picture/video evidence is just kinda…blurry and not very convincing in my opinion, and we only saw one “ghost” sighting of Camille ourselves, and that was just flashing lights/sparkles, which could have a number of scientific explanations--besides, Jake clearly missed his wife, so in a way, he wanted to see his wife in things/lights he couldn’t explain. The possibility of Camille haunting the train is barely touched on/focused on, and feels like something that was kind of just tacked onto the game and not super focused on. The flashing lights outside of the train car aren’t brought up or explained, and, therefore, I feel like I have to give the train a score above zero, but really, the train barely seems haunted and the lights could have been a lot of things (since, again, they’re just lights, and not in the form of a woman, unlike the ghost of Lizzie Applegate in the Golden Gardenia, or other ghosts I’ll talk about down the list). So, just because Camille’s “ghost” isn’t explained and John does over some slight semblances of paranormal activity, 2/10, though the train doesn’t feel very spooky.

Castle Malloy, HAU

0/10, it was just a hermit in need of help with a jetpack. At least, I think. Confession time: I have not played this game and do not know a ton about it, but this is the vibes I’ve gotten from it based on the ending and few bits of gameplay I’ve seen.  

The Ryokan Hiei/Yumi’s apartment, SAW

So, the most over-the top things were explained, like the yurei herself, the shadows, the mirror, the doors slamming shut. HOWEVER, one haunting that was NOT explained was Kasumi’s face appearing in the water in the pond in the gardens (that SCARED me when I was replaying the game just now, since I kept clicking on that area of the pond when I was trying to find the rocks needed for that rock/garden arrangement puzzle). Like, how did Rentaro make the image of her face appear in the water--and it can appear multiple times, so that wasn’t a one-off projection. I guess it’s possible Nancy was imagining things or something, since I’d be scared if I was wandering around the ryokan after seeing the mirror trick, even if Savannah did explain how such a thing could be faked, though, again, Kasumi’s face appearing in the water like that multiple times is never explained. And as for Yumi’s apartment? What on earth was that haunting? Why/how did Rentaro do that? That’s never explained either. And what’s with the CD with like footage from The Ring in Yumi’s apartment? 6/10, Nancy could have maybe imagined seeing Kasumi’s face, since the face matches the portrait next to the desk, but that still leaves ambiguity, and that and the writing at Yumi’s apartment are bizarre, unexplained, and creepy, plus Rentaro didn’t start the rumors that the ryokan was haunted, so something must have happened to make guests think that something was up…

Castle Finster/the forest, CAP

So by the end of the game, it seemed like a lot of the kidnapped women were fictional additions to the legend, and yet, someone/something still kidnapped the original girl and Renate’s sister. Though let’s be real, back in those days, people would probably have rather blamed an unexplained disappearance of a woman on something supernatural rather than conducting a full police investigation, but I’m sure if a proper investigation had been conducted, something more earthly could have been found. But no explanation is offered, and therefore I feel like I have to give it a 1/10, but considering that there would be plenty of dangers lurking in a forest, between people and animals, I highly doubt a monster ever existed. 

Nefertari’s tomb, TMB

Not sure if this counts either, but people (or I guess just Lily) talk a lot about curses in this game, so it bears mentioning. I don’t think there was anything supernatural going on here, there’s just a bunch of unfortunate accidents happening to people who fell victim to really smart ancient Egyptians who built (or rather, whose servants/slaves built) complicated traps in the pyramids. I might have give this game a higher rating if the Howard Carter expedition team thing had been touched on/talked about more, but it’s not, so this game gets a 0/10. Nothing seemed unexplained, there were just casualties that were caused by traps and mazes built by people thousands of years ago. 

Thornton Hall/Blackrock Island, GTH

Oh boy, this game. Yeah, Charlotte’s ghost was 10000% haunting the island. The carbon monoxide poisoning would only make a slight semblance of sense if the hauntings only happen in the manor itself--and even then, the ghost kills you in two different endings, so that explanation is a bit weak--but hauntings happen in the graveyard and the ruins, and the most disturbing haunting--Charlotte burning up--happens in the ruins where she died. The carbon monoxide poisoning was just the fire department/the Thorntons and Nancy trying to justify the things they saw that they weren’t able to explain. I am not convinced. GTH is probably the most mature game in the franchise, and considering that Charlotte dies the most horribly out of all of the other murder victims of the franchise, it makes sense that her vengeful ghost--and maybe the other people that died because of the Thorntons--would be haunting the island/Thornton hall. 10/10, this is a game where the supernatural was 100% real. Even more so than the Golden Gardenia. 

I didn’t play MID and don’t know enough about it to write anything about it

[movedtodykedvonte]

BATIM Headcanons

As I said before this is the only fandom that I like making a little OOC because early material and theories were so much more fun than the confusing modge podge we got later.

Joey didn’t initially like Henry as Henry was more than an “idea guy” like himself and he knew how to properly put plans into action

Of course this changed when he realized how this talent could help him and his “interest” in Henry as a “business” partner started

Abby has to keep leash from constantly harassing Henry in the beginning with ideas

The studio was a safe haven for artists and people with “peculiarities” both for the time and within themselves

This went from people barred work due to attitudes/policies (race, sex, gender, attraction) of the times to people who just wanted a  place to be fucking weird 

It’s purposeful, like an oasis to at least be yourself at work so by the time it got bad and you thought you should’ve gone your scared too as you got way too comfortable not hiding

Also Joey truly wanted the place to be somewhere dreams could come true, it wasn’t like the pinnacle of inclusion by any modern standard (for obvious reasons) but it was better at the beginning for most who worked there

Don’t ask, don’t tell and don’t snitch was a big unspoken policy, if Joey thought you were a threat to what he was trying to do have fun getting blacklisted and your name smeared

Sammy was the youngest worker at the studio before Buddy, part of his rudeness was essentially being mad he wasn’t gonna get that little praise he actually enjoyed anymore

Story wise Inked Bendy is “Joey” but not Joey

Most people who got inked first were animators despite not being by wells of ink

Actually the lower you go the longer people actually staved off being poisoned by the ink as they technically didn’t have to work directly with it

The names on the coffins represent people killed before going into the ink

Sammy and Shawn’s names are in the files but not on coffins implying Shawn died someway and Sammy was originally supposed to have been killed/died someway

I now interpret this as they “died” in the way the ink got them and took other (take being bitten by zombie vs dying and coming back)

As such Jack, Allison, Thomas, Henry and Wally never actually got inked/died more trapped in the dimension and warped

You don’t age in the ink dimension so whenever you died/were infected is where you’re stuck at

At first the ink creatures lived in a strained sense of harmony. But then people started getting ideas on how to get better and they were vastly different

Susie is the mean part of Malice and I will die on that hill

I love Susie

Sammy doesn’t let the lost ones go to the upper levels as some will attempt to do their old jobs for an attempt at normalcy, it is as depressing as you’d think

Henry is human but looks... different... after all the loops

Little things as I am freshly getting into posting for this fandom.

[navalcriminalimagines]

Taken & Found - 1

Request 1: Hey there! I'd really like to see a comforting Gibbs after the reader was kidnapped?

Request 2: Could ya do something with the reader being kidnapped and tortured in captivity for a long time and after she was rescued and came back Gibbs tries to get her to talk about what happened to her so he can figure out how to help/comfort her?

Request 3: May I request something with Gibbs and scared reader? Maybe they’re like trapped somewhere or she’s going under for a surgery? You can decide reader’s fate!

This is a two-part fic. This part is basically full angst, focused on Gibbs and the comforting, healing focus on Reader will come in the second part. I wanted to separate both.

Pairing: Gibbs x Reader

TW: angst, kidnapping, mention of suicide, depression, slight alcoholism

Words count: 3k

Tags: @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @madamsnape921 @specialagentastra @ncisfan @zetasaturno99

She was supposed to be thirty-five years old today.

And it was one of those very rare days Gibbs didn’t want to get out of bed.

He spent the night working on his boat in the basement, thinking about what his life would be if anything had happened. But he would never know, would he? No matter how bad he wished Shannon and Kelly weren’t dead, how bad he wished you were here with him… all of this happened. And he found himself alone in his basement.

Well, not entirely alone. He had a bottle of bourbon to keep him company, and Fraser, an old black labrador. Your old black lab. Your furry baby, as you used to say.

You rescued it when it was just a puppy, a couple of years before you joined NCIS. So, Gibbs has always known you with this loving thing. At some point, you would even take him to the office and Fraser’s favorite spot was under Gibbs’s desk.

Gibbs never wanted to get attached to the dog. Fraser wasn’t his, it was yours and he respected that. But somehow, you both made your way to his heart.

But only Fraser was still here.

Taking a sip of bourbon directly out of the bottle, his eyes landed on your pet, curled up in the armchair Gibbs put here years ago after you made a remark. “You know, you should put something down here. An armchair or something for people who visit.” You said, while caressing the wood with your fingertips. God did he wish he was the boat at this very moment.

“People who visit never stick around.” He answered, sternly.

“I stick around,” you grinned.

Indeed, you did stick around. A lot. Probably too much.

Would’ve saved him the heartbreak if you didn’t.

A week later, an armchair was down his basement.

With the bottle still in his hand, Gibbs sat next to Fraser and started to toy the blankie. Well, technically, it was not a blankie. It was a tee-shirt. One of yours. The one you left at his house, two years ago.

The top, representing one of your favorite bands, was destroyed now. Fraser chewed it, curled against it nonstop for two years, it was now just some cotton with dog’s hair on it. It didn’t have your smell anymore, it had Fraser’s, but Gibbs never had the strength to take it away from the dog to wash it.

He never had the strength to do much after you disappeared.

When it was clear to the team that you had been taken, kidnapped, abducted or whatever, Gibbs searched for you for weeks, probably mouths. He still does, to be honest, just not 24/7 anymore.

The first weeks, he asked - or actually, ordered - Abby to take care of Fraser. Gibbs was spending all of his time away, looking for you, he couldn’t take care of someone - well, a living thing. The lab tech happily obliged, but Fraser’s health quickly deteriorated. The dog wasn’t eating, or drinking. All he did was lay on the floor, waiting for his mum to come back.

“What, Abby? I don’t—“ not a welcoming way to answer the phone but she didn’t hold it against him.

“I know you’re busy, Gibbs, but I’m taking Fraser to the vet. He’s not okay at all.”

Abby heard her boss taking a deep breath. “Which vet? I’ll be here as soon as I can.”

The dog was clearly letting himself die. Without you, he didn’t see the point of living and Gibbs understood that. If he told anyone what he did after he got Fraser from the vet, they would think he was crazy. Maybe he was, but he didn’t care at this point. He didn’t care about anything, anymore.

Fraser was depressed and there was nothing the vet could do about it. So, they let Gibbs take him home.

And he took him home. His real home; your apartment. Fraser immediately lay on your bed and cried. “You’re reading my mind, Fra.” Gibbs muttered to himself, while preparing a bowl for the pet.

Gibbs had been in your room a few times, but he never paid attention to your stuff. All his attention was on you and your body when it happened. But as he was sitting on the floor, his back against your bed, he allowed himself to take a look around. It was very much you. Minimalist with your touch. He saw your guitar, your messy wardrobe, candles and some Polaroid pictures of people you love. Gibbs never paid attention to those pictures until this moment and one grabbed his attention.

A picture of him. You could see him from afar, aiming to throw a ball. He remembered that night but he never knew you took a picture.

Ziva had invited him to throw a few balls on a baseball field. It was a nice summer night and they had just saved many people from getting blown up. It was also the first night you kissed him. In his basement, you teased him like you always did and ended up with your lips on his. He wasn’t ready for it at that moment, and when he realised what had happened, you were already gone.

Gibbs held the picture in his hand and before sitting back exactly where he was, he went to the kitchen, grabbed what he had prepared and came back.

Fraser was still laying on your bed, his face on your pillow. Gibbs carried him in his arms, the labrador didn’t even fight back or anything. He put him in front of the bowl and Gibbs sat across. “You wanna die, Fra, huh?” The dog looked at him with horrifying sadness in his eyes. “You and me both, buddy. So let’s do this.”

Gibbs put the picture next to the bowl and grabbed his gun and the bottle of whiskey. “I know you know that salmon. Eat it, choke, and when you take your last breath, I’ll pull the trigger.” He said, pressing the gun against his temple.

Fraser is deadly allergic to salmon. When he was a few months old, you fed him some and the reaction was almost instantaneous. Luckily, you took him to the vet right on time for them to save him. “Salmon is banned from the house.” you said on the ride home.

The dog didn’t move one bit. With his face still resting on the floor, he kept looking at the man. Gibbs swore he saw tears in the damn dog’s eyes. “So? Whatcha waiting for? Eat it. It’s good salmon, trust me.” He said, drinking the brown liquor.

If Fraser could talk, he would’ve told him; ‘I may let myself die, but you’re damn crazy.’ Which would’ve been fair.

Gibbs was going crazy. It was the last straw. The last punch in the guts he could take. He had reached his limit.

He was finally letting himself love again and get loved in return. And someone took that away from him. All over again.

He got it, the universe hates him for some reasons. Why would he keep pushing it then?

Gibbs stayed up all night, drinking and waiting for Fraser to eat the fish and die. So he could pull the trigger and end this once and for all.

But Fra never did. Instead, around 5am, the dog went to grab something from the bathroom and put it on Gibbs’ lap. It was one of his hoodies. A hoodie you stole from him. Gibbs buried his nose in it and he could smell you. For the first time in many years, he let himself cry. He cried like a fucking baby, under the watch of your fucking dog.

At some point, he felt that Fraser was trying to nudge his nose in the hoodie too. “We’ll find her, Fra. We have to.”

If Gibbs had killed himself, along with Fraser, it would’ve meant you were gone forever. Because eventually, people would’ve stopped looking for you. They would’ve stopped thinking about you and just pretended you’re dead.

But Gibbs knew you weren’t dead. He knew it deep inside him. Because if you were dead, Fraser would’ve eaten the salmon and he would’ve pulled the trigger.

Laying in his bed, Gibbs turned on his side and found himself face to face with Fraser. The dog was sleeping and snoring. That’s what he does most of his time. Fra was still depressed, but he didn’t let himself die anymore. He eats and drinks the bare minimum. He doesn’t play anymore though. He used to be a happy, playful and loving dog. Now he’s just laying around, waiting for you to come back.

Just like Gibbs.

They both lost weight. Gibbs didn’t even bother to look at himself in the mirror anymore. He hadn’t been to the hairdresser in a while. His hair was longer than it has never been, and his beard was prominent now. You would probably freak out if you saw him like this. You would order him to shave and get his marine haircut back. You would feed him - and Fraser - until they are full. He just wished you were here.

He reached for Fraser’s head and pet him for a moment. “The boat is done and I can’t even offer it to her.” He sadly whispered. It’s been his plan a long time before you were gone. Building a boat after and for you. Now it was your thirty-fifth birthday, the boat was fucking done but he coudn’t teach you how to operate it like he promised.

For the next two weeks, Gibbs would stay in the basement, and stare at the finished product. There was nothing left to do on it, so he just sat behind the wheel, files on his lap and bourdon in one hand. His use of alcohol has never been higher than it is now. You’d scold him if you knew.

Maybe he’s self-destructing, hoping you’d show up and make everything right again. It was stupid, since you didn’t leave on your own. You were taken. Someone took you, and god knows what they were doing to you. This awoke a rage he never knew he had. He’d kill that - or those - person with his bare hands if he ever has a chance.

A month after your birthday, Gibbs was basically falling asleep in his boat, relatively drunk. Fraser was on his lap - he doesn’t realise he’s not a puppy anymore - when the dog shot his head up. “Easy, that’s just Fornell.” Gibbs mumbled, recognizing his friend’s footsteps.

“My two favorite depressed boys.” Tobias greeted them. He gently patted Fraser’s head and looked at his friend. “I need you to sober up, Gibbs. We need to talk about something important.”

“Just say whatever you have to say. I’m not that drunk.”

“Yeah, right.” Tobias grabbed the bottle from Gibbs’s hand and checked how empty it was. But Tobias knew only one thing would make him react, so he went straight to the point. “It’s about Y/N, Gibbs. Get your ass—“

Before the FBI agent could finish his sentence, Gibbs had practically thrown Fraser away. The poor dog looked at him with hurt in his eyes. It was only then that Gibbs saw the file his friend was holding against his chest. He didn’t think twice and tore it out of his grip. Tobias let him.

There wasn’t much in the file, just a picture.

A picture of you.

You looked different, thinner, your hair was shorter and in a completely different color. You looked like a homeless woman.

Gibbs’s jaw dropped. His head was spinning so fast, he needed to sit again. He touched the picture with his fingertips so softly, hoping it was like touching you. A lot of things were going through his mind at this moment, he actually drew a blank. “It was taken two days ago. In Wyoming.”

Gibbs didn’t need more.

Tobias had everything planned before he showed up at Gibbs’s place. One of the FBI private planes was waiting for them, in order to take them off to Wyoming. He had asked Emily if she could dogsit Fraser for a few days, and he even called Vance to let him know he was taking Gibbs with him.

In the plane, he told Gibbs how he came across this picture and all of the info he had, which wasn’t much to be honest. As far as they knew, you were in one city of Wyoming two days ago. Maybe you were gone by now.

But all Gibbs could focus on was that picture. He didn’t take his eyes off it since he opened the file. This was you. You were alive. Whatever happened, whatever the reasons you found yourself here, you were fucking alive.

Tobias looked at his friend. He’ll spend the rest of his life pretending he didn’t see the tear rolling down his cheek. “How you feeling?” He tentatively asked.

“I—I don’t know. It’s a lot.”

“She’s alive. We know it. We’ll find her.”

“I’ve always known she was alive.”

No doubt he did.

It was hard for Tobias to tame Gibbs after they landed. The agent was already barking orders at everybody and anybody, he was ready to organize a fucking manhunt to find you. But the first place they went was where the picture was taken. Gibbs spent hours in the area, while Tobias went to see the local cops. When he tried to check on Gibbs, the man never answered.

In the picture, you were looking at the surveillance camera. You knew you were being watched. You did it on purpose, Gibbs was sure of it. You must have left a clue somewhere around.

You looked scared, someone must have been following you. But he knew from what Tobias said; there wasn’t much more on the video. You were briefly seen and then disappeared, again. “Talk to me, Y/N.” Gibbs thought to himself while looking around.

It was only around noon that it hit him. He finally saw it.

Right there on the graffiti wall.

“Born to lose, live to win.”

Your handwriting. This sentence. Your tattoo.

You must have written this to let him know he should look at this wall. So he did. He studied those graffitis for a long moment, until he saw what he needed to see.

Numbers. GPS coordinates.

He called McGee, not paying attention to the missed calls he had. He gave him the coordinates and Tim gave him an address.

Was that it? The nightmare was finally over? He would go to this address, find you and take you home. Finally.

Fucking finally.

He felt dizzy while running to the address. It wasn’t that far away, and there was no way he’d wait for Fornell or a cab. So, he jogged to this fucking house. When he was standing in front of it, his heart was beating so fast, he thought it would stop.

But he couldn’t die now. He would die after he found you but not now.

He didn’t care about procedures or anything. He grabbed his gun, and let himself in the house by knocking out the door. A man was sitting there, on the couch.

The house was pure filth. The man seemed to be a bit younger than him, and he looked like a psychopath. Which he is, considering he took you.

The man was standing in his living room, his hands up as Gibbs pointed the gun at him. In a flash, Gibbs was standing right in front of the man, the gun pressed against his throat. The man looked scared, he didn’t even try to fight. “What the hell, man? Who are you? What do—“

“Shut your mouth. Where is she?” Gibbs asked, suppressing the urge to beat the man to death right now. That would come later. He needed to find you first.

“Who? There’s no—“

Gibbs’s knee hit him right in his crotch and that bastard fell on the floor. “You’re living the final hour of your life, you better tell me where the hell is Y/N, before I watch life leaving your fucking eyes.”

“I—I—“

Seeing his hesitation, Gibbs punched him. “Where?!” He yelled, but the man stayed silent. “Fine.”

Gibbs grabbed the guy by his collar to put him back up. He was physically impressive, but the adrenaline running through Gibbs’s veins gave him incredible strength. He threw him on the first chair he saw and immediately cuffed him to it. He punched him once more, harder this time.

His nose and lips were bloody, but of course it wasn’t enough. Gibbs fought a lot in his life. To defend himself or to arrest someone, but never, had he been filled with that much rage and anger. He didn’t think twice before his boot hit the man directly in his face, knocking him unconscious. He stared as the man fell on the floor along with the chair he was cuffed to.

He needed to find you. Right now.

No need to be a federal agent to know a psychopath would hold you captive somewhere private.

So he immediately looked for a basement, which he quickly found and he saw the door.

A reinforced door with quite a few locks. Keys. He needed keys that he found in the man’s pocket. Although he was still laying on the floor, fighting to regain consciousness, Gibbs kicked him again, in the stomach this time. He wasn’t holding back his strength one bit. He will kill him anyway.

As he was unlocking the door, his hands were shaking like they never did before. His heart was still pounding in his chest. He still felt dizzy.

He was sure his heart actually stopped when he spotted you on the one-person bed. You were holding your knees against your chest. It was dark, but it was you. You were there, a few feet in front of him. He didn’t even know what to do.

But you did.

When you realised who was standing in front of you, you weakly jumped off the bed and rushed into his arms.

The only thing that kept you alive all this time; knowing that he would find you.

You felt even smaller than you already were. With your arms wrapped around his waist, your face buried in his chest, Gibbs felt you crying.

He slowly wrapped his arms around you, afraid it wasn’t real. Afraid he may hurt you. Afraid you would disappear again. “You found me.” he heard you whispering.

That he did.

[topazy]

The Fierce And Broken

2.06

Masterlist

You stepped back and stared at Raven speechless, even in the darkness you could tell she was blushing. Did she regret kissing you? You hoped not.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I shouldn’t have done that. Now I’ve made things weird between us-”

Now it was your turn to cut her off. You pressed your lips against hers, she kissed you back and you remained like that until you pulled away to catch your breath.

“Um...I suppose we should go to bed,” Raven said in a soft chuckle.

“Yeah it’s late, and I imagine you need to rest that brain of yours.”

Raven flopped down onto the bed, “you have no idea.”

—

Tracking a person down in a small camp was surprisingly hard. You were about to give up when you heard Abby’s voice. “And where's Marcus now? Imprisoned still? You're just going to leave him there? Like the kids in Mount Weather? If we run, who's going to rescue them?”

“You weren’t there, Abby. I saw them. Warriors trained since childhood to fight and die for their cause. As we speak, they are marching on this camp. And trust me when I tell you, the right choice is to live, so that we can come back and fight another day.”

“Inspirational words from a man who sent children to their deaths,” you ignored the look on Jaha’s face and looked directly at Abby. “Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to tell you I’m accepting your offer. I’ll train with you.”

A smile spread across the doctors face, “good. I’m so glad you are taking this opportunity, your father would be so proud.”

You frowned at her comment and left the room not interested in the deceit of it all. None of the adults who came from the ark cared about anybody else expect from themselves or their children, you could understand that but not the acting like one happy family.

—

“Hey,” you whispered entering the tent.

Raven let out a groan before sitting up, “what time is it?”

“Early, very early.” You crawled onto the bed and laid down face first. “Nothing new has happened since last night.”

“Can I ask you something?” Raven sounded nervous. You turned to face her and nodded. “Last night...that kiss... I didn’t weird you out did I?”

“No, that’s why I kissed you back.”

She smiled at your comment. You knew it must be hard for Raven to try and avoid any awkwardness around the situation. “Good, because I was afraid you wouldn’t have kissed me back.” Her confession took you by surprise. “I think you are amazing Alba, I really do-” she paused for a moment trying to find the right words. “Me and Finn are over, but a part of me is still hurting and I don’t want to use you as a rebound. I’ve already made that mistake with Bellamy and you are to import for me to risk it.”

“I’m happy being friends if you are?” Truthfully you were a little disappointed, but you admired her honesty.

The brunette let out a frustrated sigh, “I do want to be more with you Al but-I’m scared to rush things in case I get hurt again, or even worse I hurt you.”

“Did you just ask me to go steady with you Reyes?”

“I did,” she laughed before leaning back next you on the bed. “So what do you say?”

You linked your fingers with hers, “I suppose so.”

Raven shoved you playfully. You filled her in on the conversation you overheard between Abby and Jaha. She still couldn’t believe that you confronted Abby on behalf of her. Your unusual moment of calmness was interrupted by Clarke barging into the tent, the blonde was in her usual frustrated state and was oblivious to you and Raven holding hands. “Y/N we have a meeting with the commander right now.”

You sat up fast, “we?”

“The commander won’t listen to me on my own, you still have the bruising from what the mountain men did.”

Rolling your eyes you stood up with a groan. “Yeah, I can show them it as proof I get it. Can you give me a minute?” Clarke stared at you blankly. “Jesus Griffin, I’m wanting to change okay.”

“Fine, but we need to leave in a couple of minutes.”

Quickly you changed your top into a more appropriate one. Running in a thin vest top wasn’t a good idea. Once your jacket was on you made sure to have Anya’s hair in your pocket. “You don’t need to go, If you don't want to.”

You gave Raven a sad smile before making sure not to forget anything important. “If there’s a chance to get our people back I need to try,” you squeezed her hand. “Stay safe Reyes, I’ll be back soon.”

—

“If you so much as look at her the wrong way, I will slit your throat.”

You gulped down at Gustus’s threat. You fully believed he would kill you and Clarke without a second thought. Another grounder stepped forward and introduced the commander.

“You're the one who burned three hundred of my warriors alive,” the commander's words were laced with venom as she spoke.

Clarke stepped forward, “you're the one who sent them there to kill us.”

“Do you have an answer for me, Clarke of the sky people?”

Answer? You frowned at the blonde standing next you. She has failed to mention any kind of deal, or questions had been discussed prior to this meeting. Clarke had an answer for her, “I’ve come to make you and offer.”

The commander's expression remained the same and emotionless, Clarke had really pissed her off. “This is not a negotiation.”

Another grounder spoke to the commander in trig. You didn’t know many words but you did pick up on ‘kill her’, You looked at Clarke confused. Was she trying to get you both killed?

“I can help you beat the mountain men.”

“Go on.”

As the commander spoke you noticed the other grounder eyeing you suspiciously. “Hundreds of your people are trapped inside mount weather, kept in cages. Their blood is used as medicine.”

“How do you know this?” The commander wasn’t believing her story.

“Because I saw them,” she stepped closer again. “My people are prisoners, too. I was one of them. We both were.”

“Lies!” The angry grounder stepped forward. “No one escapes the mountain.”

“We did. With Anya. We fought our way out together.”

“Another lie. Anya died in the fire. You killed her!”

“She’s not lying,” you said. “The mountain men are taking blood and bone marrow from both our people.”

The commander still looked unconvinced. Sighing you pulled your jeans down low enough to reveal your large bruise that has still yet to heal. “They took my bone marrow. I found Clarke inside mount weather, and while trying to escape we found Anya. We only had time to save her, but I intend on keeping my promise to return and free the others.” You reached into your pocket and pulled out the braid of hair. “Anya told me you were her second, I’m sure she’d want you to have this.”

“We don’t even know it’s hers”

“Anya was my mentor before I was called to lead my people,” the commander turned to face you and Clarke. “Did she die well?”

“Yes. By my side, trying to get a message to you.”

You couldn’t decide if Clarke’s memory of what happened was fuzzy, or if she was a really good liar. The commander held her hand up to Indra, “what message?”

“The only way to save both our people is if we join together.”

“Those who are about to die will say anything,” Indra spat. “The one you call Alba doesn’t seem conceived by Clarke of the sky people.”

Oh shit. Suddenly all eyes were on you. “Anya called me Heda gon bàsmhorachd, and heda gon mathanas and said one is a gift and the other is a weakness. “

The commander glanced from you to Clarke, “I’m still waiting for an offer.”

“The mountain men are turning your people into reapers. I can turn them back.”

Indra began ranting and yelling in trig.

“I’ve done it with Lincoln.”

You glared at Clarke as she said his name. Lincoln had always been good to your people. He’d saved Octavia, you, and Finn multiple times. Last time he tried to make peace it cost him his own people and Clarke had just given his location away.

—

Soon as you arrived back at camp Jackson said he needed your help. You excused yourself much to the dismay of Indra but the commander didn’t seem to care. After countless attempts of bringing the patient's temperature down Jackson eventually managed. He explained with such little resources it was becoming harder to help people.

“Hey doctor.” Turning to face the doorway you smiled seeing Raven gave you a confused look. “What are you doing?”

“We are short of blood so I’m doing what I can to help,” you shrugged. It was also a good reason to avoid any grounders that where still in camp. The interaction from before had left a sour taste in your mouth, although a part of that was because of Clarke.

“We should start calling you saint Alba,” Raven leaned against an empty table. “How did it go?”

“Truthfully I have no idea, Clarke told them she can turn reapers back into normal people.”

“Can she?”

“I’ve no idea you,” you pouted. “She’s not one for sharing what’s going on. I was completely blind sighted by some things that were said. I guess we can’t do anything but wait and see.”

“Do you trust them?”

You thought about it before answering, the grounders had no reason to trust the ‘sky people’ so they probably didn’t. “I think they will still have a ace up their sleeves. How did your day go?”

Raven shrugged, “still no change.”

Jackson entered the room just as the bag had filled with enough blood. He thanked you and removed the needle from your arm. Technically it wasn’t a good idea for you to be given blood after everything your body had been through recently but it was desperate times. You stumbled slightly when you stood up but Raven caught hold of you. “Al? You should sit back down.”

You gave her a lopsided grin, before gently kissing her. Raven smiled into the kiss before leaning back, “if you need anymore blood I can always donate.”

“Glad to hear, I’ll be back in a moment.”

You shared a look with Raven, “is he everywhere?”

Shaking your head you got out of the chair and let Raven sit in it. “I’m going to get changed, do you want anything from the tent?” Raven shook her head. “I’ll see you soon Reyes.”

—

Lifting up a cleanish top you changed into, and threw the previous one that was now covered in your blood to the side along with the rest of your dirty clothes. You had accidentally pulled the needle out when Jackson first put it in resulting a good top being stained.

You stepped out of the tent and saw Clarke walking back from the gates, she noticed you and walked over. “We saved Lincoln.”

“That’s great,” you were glad to hear Lincoln hadn’t died. He deserved better than to die as a reaper.

“Commander Lexa-”

“I need to stop you there Clarke,” you pointed towards the gates the grounders had just left though. “I’m not interested in any of that.”

“Your not interested in saving our people?”

The accusation that you didn’t care about your people after everything you’d been through together stung. “No, I want to save our people and the grounders who have been taken. But I don’t trust Lexa.”

“She is our best chance of helping.”

“Is she?” You saw the furious look on her face. “I’m just saying we don’t know enough about them, and she’s not going to just give us a alliance we will need to work for it.” Clarke’s silence confirmed your fear. “What has the commander offered you?”

“She will fight with us to get all of our people back.”

“What does she want in return?”

“Finn.”

[crossovereddie]

Actually, here is an alternative thing for you to occupy your time with, and a question I have been meaning to ask you for a while. I have finished 911 finally! So I'm ready for the new season. And I wonder, realistically, what do you think the roadmap would be for a buddie endgame?

I absolutely see how their story has been framed and filmed in a lot of parallels to how a romantic storyline would be set out. But there has been no outright mention of either of them being bi - although the conversation about Maddy setting Buck up with whassisface was very casual and could very easily have been an example of canonically bi Buck - and they are both at the end of season 4 in 'relationships' with women.

So, in your estimation, what's the timeline? What's the transition? How do they go about this and how long does it take? I wanna know your thoughts 👀

okay yes i have lots of thoughts on this and it's actually one of my fave questions i get asked. I've always watched a lot of tv shows so I'm just estimating on what I've seen before and what I would personally do. IMO this love story is a slow burn. We only have four seasons so far and only three of those seasons have Eddie in them. This unsurprisingly got long so ill put it under the cut.

So I'll go by seasons bc to me its important to look at everything that has happened so far by seasons and by love interests and not as a whole. Its the best way i can form a timeline that I think would make the most sense and why

S1: So we don't get any hints at Buck being anything other than straight and I think this is because he was supposed to be. They hadn't planned for Eddie yet and they definitely hadn't planned for the chemistry Oliver and Ryan were gonna have. S1 Buck was this reckless kid who didn't take anything serious. He was definitely super immature. Then he meets Abby and he starts to get serious about his job and his love life. I'm not gonna say "Abby changed him" because she didnt. He saw the person he was and the person he was becoming and decided on that change himself.

S2: Eddie!!!! So we get introduced to this army medic turned firefighter in the least heterosexual way. Then Buck is angry because Eddie is hot and really good at his job. they work together and Eddie compliments Buck and now they're smiley bffs. Seriously wtf was all that? Anyway this is all sus bc from what ive seen before in other shows when a main love interest leaves and a new main character replaces them, that means something. JLH replaced Connie Britton as far as big name actress but i really believe Eddie replaced Abby as far as importance in Buck's life. Do i think they brought him in with the intentions of turning him into a LI? No but they sure fueled the narrative from the get go. I think they saw fans reactions and started testing the waters.

Moving on to LIs in this season. We find out Eddie has a kid and the mother is not in the picture (eddie made sure buck knew that right away). Then later on we find out he's technically still married. shannon comes back and we get Eddie finally getting to confront this head on. He tries to get his family back together for the sake of his son. Its big for Eddie's character bc all he does and all he's ever done is for his son. Then Shannon asks for a divorce then she dies bringing this arc to an abrupt end and leaving eddie heartbroken.

meanwhile Buck is still waiting for Abby. Then he finally accepts that shes not coming back and decides to move on. He goes right back to being "Buck 1.0" with Taylor and feels bad about himself because that really isnt him anymore. He wants a real relationship. So then Ali calls and asks him on an actual date and he agrees. This is his first try at a relationship after a heartbreak. in tv these don't usually work out but are used to develop the main character's growth. We don't really see much of her but she breaks up with him so.

S3: This is Eddie finally dealing with his feelings/guilt season. This is also the season I think we really see how important Buck is to the Diaz boys. S2 had cute buckley-diaz family moments but those could still be interpreted as a best friend and his best friend's kid. This season though... after the tsunamic episode was when i really started to fully believe buddie was going canon. This season is solidifying their bond not only as Buck and Eddie but as Buck Eddie and Christpher. As I'm writing this I realized neither of them really has a love interest in this season do they? Ana is introduced but then is clearly presented as definitely NOT the right choice for eddie and especially for Chris. Then they counter that with Buck helping Eddie build a skateboard for Chris that he can use as opposed to Ana's ablest remarks about how he can't do it so just move on to something else. Then we get Buck's reaction in Eddie Begins. Buck has seen his team his friends his family get hurt on the job before but he has never reacted the way he did when it was Eddie in danger. Again solidifying just how much these two mean to each other. Don't even get me started on this season being when Eddie changes his will offscreen. Anyway we get Abby back and Buck finally gets the closure from that relationship that he needs to move forward into a serious relationship.

Now S4: jfc s4....IMO this is the only logical season to get the ball rolling on Buddie and they sure did that with 4x14 despite everything else. So i never thought they would be the first serious relationship for each other after the heart break theyve both experienced. It wouldn't be fair to their character developments. Buck tries dating Veronica and that clearly doesnt work but we know hes now open to dating again. We get Buck Begins where we see why Buck is the dare devil he is. The only way he got his parents attention as a kid was to put himself in danger. They bring back taylor and how to they ultimately get together after she friendzones him? She thinks hes in danger and suddenly wants him. As much as i hate it this is really gonna be a relationship where Buck finally stands up for himself and sees his own worth and realizes he deserves more. He deserves someone who sees him and loves him for who he is. He deserves to be chosen, something Abby Ali his parents dont do and what i think taylor wont end up doing. I feel like shes gonna choose her career over him. Maybe not in a "I'm breaking up with you" way but maybe she takes a new job and want to do LD (hes tried that twice and it didnt work for him. hes not gonna want that) or she could ask him to go with her but he wont. His family is in LA. His job is in LA. Eddie and Chris are in LA and he won't leave them. Then we have Eddie finally deciding to move on and try dating again so they bring back ana. To me it's not gonna work out so I'm not bothered at all lmao. It's interesting that they'd choose her though. Someone we already know Eddie doesn't trust with his son. There's also more buckley-diaz family scenes of them being coparents. The hildy episode, Chris running to Buck when hes mad at eddie, Buck being the one to tell Chris Eddie got hurt, then Buck staying with Chris and taking on the guardian role without him even knowing just how much that role really does belong to him. He didn't do it out of obligation. He didn't do it because he was asked to. He did it because he thought it would be best for Chris. Finally to 4x14. This is by far the biggest "Oh shit this is it. This is the beginning of buddie". We find out Eddie changed his will a year ago and has just been sitting on this info. I think Eddie knew back then what it meant but he wasn't in the right mindset to accept what it means so he kept it to himself. I think he finally started allowing himself to go there during treasure hunt. The man was jealous yall. Carla coming back and her comment about doing whats best for him and not chris is his oh shit moment. I think he wouldve broken up with Ana a few days after that if he had the time lol. He gets caught up in the mother/son sl then this poor mf gets shot by a sniper. The way that whole scene was filmed btw was not in a bff way. That was a lover watching his beloved almost die in front of him. Buck again puts himself down and Eddie decides this is the moment. He needs Buck to see how important he is. He wants buck to know how loved he is. So he sits there talking himself up to it and finally lets Buck know just how big of a part he is in Eddie's family. Buck's previous scene is him saying he wants someone who wants him back then here is Eddie saying he needs him...Chris needs him. wtf.

So with S5: I think Eddie knows and Buck has a feeling but he's not sure so what i would do is spend s5 with Eddie basically showing Buck his feelings but not exactly getting in the way of Buck's new relationship because Buck has to be the one to make that choice. Id also have chris feeling the different shift with buck having a gf like he did with Eddie. This newfound info wasnt just dropped on us for a "Aww so sweet" moment. This will business is gonna be a part of a bigger storyline. I'm hoping its with Eddie's family during maybe 5b.

So what I think would be the best timeline for canon buddie is 5a eddie already having either broken up with ana or is gonna break up with her, Buck choosing himself and ending things with Taylor by midseason finale, them bringing in Eddie's family in 5b and maybe then being when Eddie confesses his feelings for Buck. Then 6a we could get them walking on egg shells around each other not really knowing what to do bc this is all so new for both of them. This could bring just the right amount of comedy and angst especially them awkward and flustered around each other at work. A big blowup can happen between them for added angst (maybe an arguement before one of them or both of them is put in danger) then a midseason finale kiss. Then trying to find the balance between their personal relationship and their work relationship during 6b.

I don't know how long Fox shows last but procedurals can last a long time. I'm not sure thats gonna be the case for 911 especially with all the main cast staying that long so i think this would give us at least a whole season (S7) of canon buddie.

As far as then being presented as straight, there's been more seeds planted about buck being bi. A few i can remember off the top of my head: all of 2x1 lmao, maddie's comment about bucks boy crush on eddie, buck hinting at thinking eddie is cute when he thinks maddie is talking about him, the christmas elf, the comments on the instagram livestream, idk if youve watched it or not but TK's comment to Buck in the crossover episode, and like you mentioned Maddie's casual comment about setting him up with Josh. All we really know about Eddie's love life is he married Shannon when they were young and is trying with Ana so it could turn into a whole storyline for him.

I'm so sorry this is so long and took forever but i I hope i actually answered your question and didnt just get lost in rambles lmao.

[liesoverthec]

Hi B! Hope you're doing great! Do you have a theory why Eddie didn't tell Buck about the will sooner? Do you think he was waiting for "the right moment"?

Personally, I think, he was scared to put to much pressure on him. But then Buck said the things he said in the hospital and Eddie was like "you know what, I gotta put a stop to this".

Much love xx

Hi Sam! 💛 I'm going through a couple of major life changes right now which are just, eating up all of my time and none of it is bad, but it’s why I’m so late getting back to you on this (although pls do not let it stop you from coming in my inbox! I love chatting w you and anyone else I just might have really slow response times for a couple weeks!) how are you???

Okay so I tend to start coming at this from a set/details/cast point of view and my thoughts on it are - Eddie is just. SO MUCH FUCKING SOFTER in s4 around Buck. Like he's always been heart eyes McGee, but the depth and the level of love he has for Buck is just astoundingly deeper. I could pull so many receipts on myself where around 4x04 I’m just?? baffled at how much softer Eddie is and I have no idea why (JOKES ON ME, P SURE IT WAS THIS). So I think the writing room told R.G. that something was going on with Eddie. I don't think the reason Eddie held off was bc the writers themselves didn't know. I'm not entirely sure if they knew it was a WILL that changed things, but I think they made an active choice to change Eddie's actions towards Buck to be more romantic, and softer, bc they knew Eddie was going to hold onto something big with Buck, which culminated in the guardianship-in-case-of-tragedy reveal end of s4, when they thought it would fit best for BOTH Eddie and Buck.

And then emotionally, I DO agree with you on that Eddie didn't want to put that pressure on Buck. I think it started bc basically as soon as Eddie has a chance to decide he’s going to do this legal mumbo jumbo guardianship change, Buck starts freaking out about Red. And Eddie, I think, was simultaneously like, ‘okay I know Buck CAN turn this down but he won’t, and he’s dealing w a lot right now so I’m not going to add this on’ and also ‘I’m going to wait to tell him til it’s final, so that he knows I’m not going to back out of this, it’s a done deal’, and probably also ‘I’ve never been this emotionally intimate with another person literally in my entire life, I have to give myself a chance to build up to it’.

And then before it’s done, they meet Abby again. And Eddie is NOT the sort of person to be explicitly personal at work - he’ll talk around his personal issues, eg talking to Brian during Jinx, but he doesn’t really come right out and pull a Chim or Buck and tell people all about his life. So he’s not about to open up in front of SAM of all people and tell Buck why he can’t risk his life recklessly like that.

But then after that, Buck settles into this period where he actually ISN’T being risky. He explicitly tells Bobby he’s okay now, and it’s absolutely reasonable of Eddie to assume he got closure and he wasn’t looking for validation through danger any more. Hell, Buck even gets a therapist! (Which side note - we never see Buck tell ANYONE Dr Copeland’s name, not even Chim and Maddie when he talks about it, but Eddie knows it in 4x04! So I like to think that while they were quarantining together, Buck told Eddie he was going to see a therapist, and that’s why EDDIE never teases him about his “lady friend” on screen okay side rant done lolllllllllll) So I think at this point, to Eddie, it’s awkward to say anything NOW it’s been so long, and besides he himself isn’t going die anytime soon it’s not a big deal right? (WRONG EDMUNDO).

And of course, Buck does risk his life in Buck Begins/factory fire, but it was really only dangerous bc HE didn’t know where he was, and he couldn’t get them out. It wasn’t as scary I think, to the rest of the 118, bc they could go get him - they had time to do that, so I don’t think Eddie really thought of that as Buck risking his life so like, he can keep this to himself still right? (Um sure I guess but like - EDDIE MY MAN!!!)

And then after that Buck still isn’t risking his life, and nothing crazy has been happening w the 118 - I think if the bomber had been the s4 plot, then I think Eddie would have told him earlier, bc Eddie would have KNOWN that someone was killing people at random in the city, but no one had any idea the sniper was a thing, so Eddie just kept going, keeping it a secret.

Because at this point, I think Eddie has at least a small inkling of his feelings for Buck. Giving your best friend your KID is a really big deal, and I’ve seen several posts talking about the fact that it’s basically a love confession. For anyone else sure it might just be a matter of paperwork, but for EDDIE - that was him giving his heart to Buck. And I think he just wasn’t ready to have that conversation with anyone, esp given the fact that he has the safety net of KNOWING Buck won’t give Christopher up. If Eddie died, and Buck found out that way, it would be awful for Buck - but it wouldn’t be something that could make Buck give Christopher up, so Eddie *technically* didn’t even have to tell Buck.

So TLDR - I think it started as Eddie not wanting to pressure Buck before it was official, ESP since he was panicking about his place in his family’s lives. But then I think it changed into ‘well he’s being safe, I’m not in danger, oh shit this is a Big Deal™ actually, I’ll tell him when I’m ready’ and the sniper ending up forcing Eddie to be ready - both bc Eddie almost died AND bc Buck was acting stupid again.)

Sorry if that was like, 10x more word vomit than you wanted - I just think this show is fantastic at giving characters complex emotional journeys and reasonings without having to be explicit about it, and I can’t just sum that in one paragraph I guess 😂

Lots of love to you Sam!!!!

🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

[tabriscadash]

I was asked this on my old blog right as I set about transitioning to this one, so...

The first character I ever fell in love with: for DA:O, dare I say Daveth? What can I say -- I irrationally got incredibly attached to him. otherwise, DEFINITELY Morrigan, and I have crystal clear memories of my first run through Lothering and looking at Morrigan like 😍 the whole time. For DA:2/E, Carver -- unless you count Anders & Justice since I knew of them from Awakening beforehand, in which case probably Justice. For DA:I, it’s a toss-up between Vivienne or Cole -- I technically liked Cole first but SPECIFICALLY in the supporting material (Asunder), and didn’t vibe with him anywhere near as much in the game, AND I got him as a companion after I got Vivienne, so probably Vivienne.

A character that I used to love/like, but now do not: for DA:O, I guess Oghren? I never loved him, but I liked the idea of him because I really liked the dwarves/Orzammar side of DA’s worldbuilding -- but he’s such an unlikeable character that I just.. don’t vibe with him at all. I debate recruiting him every single time now, and I don’t think I ever do his personal quest (in the base game OR Awakening). for DA:2/E, I don’t really have anyone that fits -- but I REALLY wanted to like Merrill and Aveline more than I did, and especially in Aveline’s case, I can’t stand her and genuinely think she’s the unintended, secret Big Bad of the whole game. for DA:I, probably Cole, bc I was really into the idea of a little walking-corpse serial killer animated by a spirit as per the book, but that’s not really the vibe in DA:I, and combined with the somewhat patronising/ableist language and how significantly he is infantilised (including by the fandom) I just got put off him. I do still like him, but not as much.

A ship that I used to love/like, but now do not: for DA:O, I don’t really have one? I guess see my DA:I answer, lol... for DA:2/E, has to be Anders - I don’t think he’s OOC in 2, but I think his writing does so little with him and he feels v. reductive. Where his relationship could be SO interesting and angsty, it instead is written in a really dull and/or cringey way. It would have been nice to see Anders more like the Anders of Awakening near the beginning of the game (rather than random, infrequent and questionably rare snippets), and then see the progression of his relationship with Justice as the game went on -- I want more interesting abominations, PLEASE. for DA:I, listen I cannot express to you HOW EXCITED I was for my planned Lavellan to romance Sera… also I used to be way more tolerant of Cullen x Amell/Surana ships because, like, hey dark ships are fun, right? But since Cullen’s ~wholesome whitewash~ in DA:I, and his fandom clamouring to absolve him of any wrongdoing ever.. it’s boring to me.

My ultimate favourite character™: for DA:O, probably Sten? or Morrigan. They’re both fantastic, and also are significant comfort chars for me. for DA:2/3, honestly, probably my own Hawke -- I feel so hugely proud of her, and can’t imagine I’d enjoy the game anywhere near as much had I not played it as my Hawke. If not her, maybe Sebastian or Carver? for DA:I, I really love Vivienne, as well as Blackwall, and Solas is a great character even if I probably would not say I liked him.

Prettiest character: for DA:O, we all know it’s Zevran. for DA:2/E, I think Aveline -- although her aggressively bland colour-scheme lets her down in a major way (although I respect her dedication to all orange all day every day). There’s just something about her arms -- very Abby from TLOU:2. for DA:I, maybe Josephine? Ser Barris is very pretty, too...

My most hated character: for DA:O, I really didn’t like Alistair, Wynne and Oghren, and of my companions - Oghren is probably my least favourite. He’s vulgar and also profoundly uninteresting. for DA:2/E, it has to be Aveline. There’s just something about ineptitude and a complete, wilful refusal to take accountability for your actions that I can’t stand. It would be okay if it was an intentional character flaw, but the game/narrative treats her like she’s lawful good and it really annoys me. for DA:I, maybe Iron Bull? He was a huge disappointment for me. I also really dislike Sera, Cassandra, and Varric. I’m so sick of Varric - I never want to see him again.

My OTP: for DA:O, I really loved Zevran’s romance -- but I am also very amused by the fact that Leliana got to ‘love’ status with Kallian accidentally, AND I got the ‘love’ glitch for Justice (👀) and Velanna. I do sometimes wonder about an AU where Kallian is forced to make a politically expedient marriage with Nathaniel Howe for diplomatic reasons in order to consolidate her position as Arlessa, and it being an entirely platonic arrangement (it’s not like anyone expects an heir from an infertile Grey Warden) -- and maybe Zev and Nate kiss sometimes, who knows? I also LOVE my Darkspawn Chronicles AU where Kallian and Nelaros are a happy, married couple each hiding their skills with weapons from each other like dumb, cute sweethearts. They shelter Zevran when he fails to kill Alistair and a poly couple evolves. for DA:2/E, I love the IDEA of a Seb romance that isn’t so strictly conditional around the structures that abused him -- he should be allowed to love, chastely or otherwise, but free from the Chantry OR his position as prince/heir. I’d LOVE to actually have a romance with him where you can actually challenge the abuse he’s experienced. for DA:I, Malika doesn’t have a canon romance (although I think when I replay, I’m going to romance Josephine!) but I think Blackwall has an amazing romance. Solas’ is also iconic, it must be said. 

My NOTP: for DA:O, I really dislike Alistair in a shipping capacity; he’s immature and says a lot of misogynistic shit and I don’t think he’s the worst for it, but I don’t really vibe with shipping him, having played the game as a female city elf. for DA:2/E, I wouldn’t say I have one, particularly? although I really dislike Aveline’s relationship with her husband simply because it seems incredibly inappropriate, given that they work together and she has power over him -- and because I dislike her, generally, I don’t feel inclined to do something nice for her. for DA:I, I suppose Sera/Lavellan -- although I’m not AGAINST it, it just really isn’t for me, having attempted it. I also don’t really vibe with Dorian x Iron Bull. Something abt the way the game handled BDSM and their relationship banter specifically I don’t really like.

Favourite episode quest: for DA:O, probs Orzammar/the Deep Roads. I really love the dwarven lore! and, of course, Fort Drakon is really funny, even though it’s not canon in my game iirc. for DA:2/E, maybe the murder mystery with the serial killer, where ultimately Leandra dies? I also really enjoyed all the companion quests. for DA:I, The Descent (just, all of it, lmao) and everything to do with the Avvar. Crestwood also BANGED.

Saddest death: for DA:O, it’s frankly a fucking INJUSTICE that Shianni gets murdered if you make her Bann of the Alienage -- the idea of that happening whilst Kallian is in Amaranthine and unable to protect her :( genuinely very upsetting. I go back and forth on who is made Bann, tbf, so idk how canonical it is: I think maybe Cyrion would get it, but I’m also endeared to Soris holding the position, with Shianni as Hahren. for DA:2/E, Bethany. I wish both twins had had the chance to reach Kirkwall :(. Let Leandra die instead. for DA:I, maybe not the saddest death, but the most memorable for me was that one sleeping dragon in the Hissing Wastes.. leave her alone. Stay out of a womans’ business.

Favourite season game: DA:O!

Least favourite season game: DA:I.

Character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but I hate: for DA:O, Alistair. I cannot deal with his complacency and hypocrisy. for DA:2, I really disliked Merrill but I honestly cannot remember why. DEFINITELY Varric -- I hated how the game forces you to be his best friend, and if you’re low approval, you have to endure these pointless pissy little comments with this little anti-dwarf centrist pissant. After the expedition, I literally have no reason to put up with him, and I NEVER take him out. I hate that he plays the same role in DA:I, too. for DA:I, the Iron Bull was hugely disappointing, and I also really don’t vibe with Cassandra. She just seems very wishy-washy and complacent and hypocritical, and many of her comments about other cultures seem snide for literally no reason other than bigotry. 

My ‘you’re a piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: for DA:O, lbr probably Sten. Mans is gonna launch a HORRIFYING invasion in the next game iirc and frankly, I’m ok with it. Just wanna see that big bastard again ❤🥵. for DA:2/E, I LOVE Gamlen, ok? for DA:I, I am not sure if I have one.

My ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: for DA:O, if any of you so much as LOOK at Velanna wrong, it’s hands. That includes Bioware. I also feel incredibly protective of and sad for Morrigan. for DA:2/E, probably Sebastian -- I feel so sad for him, and so frustrated by the limitations with the game. for DA:I, I’m honestly not sure.. maybe Josephine? I don’t really feel this way about Sera, but I do think she deserves better from the game and its writing, and also from fandom: there are valid criticisms of her, but the hate she gets is not proportional to any valid issues with her -- and gee, I wonder why that is.

My ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: for DA:O, I did use to find Cullen x Surana/Amell intriguing as a dark ship -- I actually hc that Neria Surana is actually Nelaros’ sister, and have dabbled with it as a dark ship. I also am interested in Loghain/Alistair - which each pretends the other is someone else. Alistair is wooby, hate ships are, in general, fun -- so long as we acknowledge that they are, indeed, unhealthy ships. for DA:2/E, I kind of feel like Sebastian romances are, invariably, kind of dark... and, similarly, Anders romances -- especially with certain red Hawkes, The way it ends is, invariably, bordering on fucked up. ALSO Hawkecest is weird and wonderful: GET WITH IT. 

My ‘they’re kind of cute, and I lowkey ship them, but I’m not too invested’ ship: for DA:O, I joked about Velanna x Leliana once and I’ve not been able to stop thinking about it ever since… Velanna x Sigrun is also something that can be so personal. Ariane x Finn is adorable and are paid DUST by Bioware AND fandom. I actually am really into Anora x Nathaniel & NO I will NOT explain myself; it’s a crackship but it’s MY crackship. for DA:2/E, Isabela x Fenris is super cute, but I don’t pay enough attention to them to really have super committed thoughts & feelings on them. for DA:I, Blackwall x Josephine is cute as a background ship; I also think Maryden x Cole is sweet.