#anyway i wanna make this concept into a full fic

[purpleshadow-star]

Au where, when someone is ready to die, they don’t feel any pain. The more ready someone is to die, the less pain they feel.

tws: lots of talk about death and dying (not technically suicide ideation but could theoretically be read as such), mentions of Neil's torture in the Nest (very vague and brief) and by Lola (not really vague but not explicit either, if that makes sense)

Neil Josten is ready to die.

It’s not that he necessarily wants to die, but he knows it’s coming, and he’s made peace with that. He’s ready for it.

He’s not worried about his impending death. He’s known that he was never going to make it to the end of the year ever since he first signed the papers to become a Fox and put himself in the spotlight, so he knows that, no matter what, at least he’ll have a painless death.

Sure, his experience in the Nest ends up being more painful than Neil wants it to be, but it isn't all that surprising. He might be ready to die, but he’s not ready to die there. Not by Riko’s hand. He refuses. So, there’s pain. But that’s a different circumstance. Someone else is depending on him to live. Neil doesn’t want to think about what could happen to Andrew if Neil doesn’t keep Riko’s attention on him. So, it’s different. He needed to live to ensure Andrew would be okay.

In the end, it doesn’t matter anyway

Once Neil starts getting the countdown, though? Well, he knew he wasn’t making it to the end of the school year, but now he knows exactly how much longer he has. When the day rolls around, Neil is more than ready. He’s been waiting for this moment for months, almost an entire year, really. Sure, it sucks that Neil won’t be able to play the game he loves with his team anymore, and sure, it’s a shock to see Romeo and Jackson and Lola waiting for him, but that doesn’t change the fact that Neil is ready for them. He’s glad that he’ll get to take away this last bit of satisfaction from Lola. She won’t see him flinch. She won’t hear a peep of pain from him when she inevitably tortures him because he’s been preparing for this day for what feels like his whole life.

He’s prepared to die.

So imagine Neil’s shock when he acutely feels the sting of metal that is Lola’s first cut. He’s so surprised that he fails to hold back an audible noise of pain. Only a not so long buried instinct from when his mother was still alive keeps his next reactions in, but his slip-up doesn’t go unnoticed. Lola is behind him, slicing him up, taunting him. Look who’s not so ready to die after all. I’m almost disappointed by how easy it was to get a reaction from you. I was hoping for a little more of a challenge. Tell me, Junior, what do you have to live for? What is making you want to live? Why aren’t you ready to die?

Neil barely hears her. He’s too busy asking himself all the same questions. Just a few months ago, he took an exy ball to the stomach and barely felt a thing. What changed?

Unbidden, his mind wanders to Andrew. Andrew and keys and the Monsters and the Upperclassmen and Wymack and Abby. The Foxes. His team. His friends. He realizes that, at some point in the past few months, they’ve managed to get past the walls he put up. They’ve rooted themselves deep in his chest, and they’re not letting go.

They are the reason he’s not ready for death anymore. The thought of leaving them hurts. He knows it’s necessary. He knows he needs to let them go, or else he would only end up bringing more monsters to their doorstep, but he’s now realizing that he’s not ready to let them go. Have to and ready to are two completely different things, he realizes as his voice is violently ripped from his throat through the burn of a cigarette lighter on his face. He’s feeling this pain because he’s not ready to let go of his new family yet. He’s not ready to leave them. He’s realizing now that he might never be ready.

A few hours ago, Neil was sure he was ready to die. He walked to his death with open arms, ready to embrace a painless, inevitable release. But now, in the midst of unexpected pain and agony, Neil changes his mind. He thinks he wants to keep feeling this pain. He doesn’t want the painless release of death anymore. He wants to fight back. He wants to keep living. He wants to make it back to his team. He wants to make it back to his friends. He wants to make it back to Andrew. He wants to make it back home.

Neil makes up his mind. Even if it means distancing himself from the person he’s lied into existence over the past few months, even if it means becoming the person he’s been running away from for almost nine years now, he’ll do whatever it takes to make it back to his family.

Nathaniel Wesninski isn’t ready to die.

[crybaby-bkg]

I loveee the concept of reincarnation bc it’s just so comforting!!!

oh to be reincarnated lovers with Bakugou where you find each other every life time and leave a memory of the other to find in the next lifetime. You see each other in a new lifetime, drawn to each other, swearing familiarity even though your minds disagree. But it’s something deeper within you that knows each other, misses the others embrace, and you can’t figure out why.

There’s a famous painting of someone who looks suspiciously like you made in the 1600s by some tortured artist, the muse a lover he had lost years before. There’s a statue that looks just like Bakugou from the 1800s, who everyone thought to be created after Apollo, but you beg to differ. There are letters found between two lovers, one gone off to war and the other at home, their exchange of love something poets discuss in contemporary times. Theres even skeletons found embracing each other, with one’s head tucked into the others neck.

And for some reason, every time, these figments of love appeal to you deeper than anyone else around you. They’re so familiar, and you think you might be going crazy when flashes of memories start to plague you.

Sitting in a darkly lit room, a slate of white marble in front of you, a point chisel in hand. There’s a blond man sitting behind the marble, with a sly grin, as your hands raise to start chipping away at its flawless perfection.

Sitting at home, writing away with a quilled pen to a lover you miss. Kissing the edge of the paper and pulling away to find it stained with red from your lips.

Laying in the soft grass, your face hidden in a strong neck as heavy winds start to take over you. Your arms entangled in another’s, tilting your face up to kiss a blond, stubbled jaw.

When Bakugou tells you he remembers the same things, you wonder if you’re both just on a bad trip from a drug you don’t remember taking. But you carve your names in tree trunks and wonder if you’ll find find it again hundreds of years later, if you’ll see him again, if you’ll create another piece of your unyielding love on every crevice of the earth.

[nocturnesmoon]

I had a dream about this and thought you'd like it 😭 It basically boils down into your current vampire!reader fics but instead of a vampire, reader was like. this spider hybrid thing?? I was v confused 🫡

-😎

Eight legged dreams

Monster AU Masterlist: TF141 x Spider-Hybrid!GN!Reader A/N: I really wanna know what kinda weird dreams you be having 😭 I don't know what the spider hybrid looked like in your dream, but I think I'd be terrified, anyways this is a bit short but enjoy.

-The 141 gets a new, unexpected addition to the team-

Nobody is really surprised to find that people would end up experimenting with the concept of monsters. Ever since they recruited a few in the military, leash on tight, it was only a matter of time before some twisted minds picked up on the idea of creating monsters on their own.

The existence of mythical creatures has long been proven, though a lot are concealed and extinct, what if it would be possible to resurrect them, or create entirely new ones? The thought was quickly experimented with, the study of how monsters formed, made way for the ideas of monster hybrids that didn't exist naturally.

When the 141 was first assigned such a hybrid, they were sceptical. Promptly they thought they didn't need one, they did excellent work without the external help, but it quickly became a matter of not having a choice.

It didn't matter to the higher ups whether they used this hybrid on missions or not, the 141 was to record the movements of this hybrid, and at the end of the experiment they would each give an individual report of the experience.

If the hybrid became violent or disobedient, each one of them had full authority to eliminate them.

Simple right?

That's what they had all thought before they found out what a menace it could be. They had expected something simple, a wolf hybrid, or a reptile hybrid like they had heard about, but no what they got was arguably worse.

From the moment you stepped off the truck that brought you to them, they knew something was off. Sure, they hadn't been told what kind of hybrid you were, but this was unexpected even with that in mind.

Your entire physique didn't carry the same as a human would, fat, skin and muscle distribution was completely wrong compared to that of a normal human. You were adorned by another set of eyes right under your natural ones, just as well you had 2 extra sets of arms. It looked wrong on you, like you came from some eldritch abomination. They even wondered if it might hurt to have a form like that, but you seemed relaxed as can be.

Your form started to make a lot more sense when Price finally got his hands on your files, and care instructions. He wanted to chew your handlers out for not giving him the instructions sooner, but they left in a hurry like state, all too eager to get rid of you.

Apparently, you were a type of spider hybrid. It wasn't totally certain what your abilities were, there wasn't a whole lot of guidance from your previous handlers, and it only left Price all the more nervous.

Despite their apprehension about you, you were nice and accommodative. You listened to their orders and request and at first glance you seemed normal, not taking into account of how different you looked.

It didn't take long before they started finding out about your various quirks, showing more and more of yourself very quickly. You seemed to get attached to them a lot faster than they got warmed up to you.

Gaz was the first one to figure out that you had the ability to climb any surface and stick to it. It didn't really come as a surprise once he really thought about it, but the jump scare he got from it is one he isn't likely to forget.

He was just about to go to bed, changed into pyjamas and everything, lights turned off. Just as he was about to get under the covers he sees a glint in the corner of his bedroom ceiling, he slowly goes closer, finding it hard to see when his eyes aren't adjusted to the darkness. The second you get into view, his eyes widen a fraction, the real jump scare coming when you with a very menacing voice say, "Hello Kyle," he screams for you to get out, which you do with a pout. Days later he still doesn't know how you learned his real name, seemingly no one told you, you just found out.

Another thing they figured out quickly was your eating habits, they found you to be very picky about what you ingested. Most of the time you only ate meat in small quantities, and you always seemed to hoard it in your room, wrapped up in tiny cocoons for safe keeping. Seemingly you refused to eat anything other than meat, but despite being picky you were open to try a lot of things, normally ending up hating it, but you tried it.

It started to result in you biting everything, no matter what it would be. Sometimes it seemed like you didn't fully understand what was edible and what was not. Their biggest shock came from you starting to nibble on them. It became a fixation of yours, and despite them always swatting you away, you kept going at it. Price has too many bite marks shaped perfectly from your teeth.

Soap was sceptic about your appearance first, intrigued but sceptic. He quickly warmed up to it, however, when he realized how useful it could be to have 6 arms, or useful to him that you had them. He started using you as a sort of coat rack, getting you to hold things for him while he's working. If he was practising his skills at disarming a bomb, he'd get you to hold his tools, if he was writing reports, he'd get you to hold the next ones ready, so it all went smoother. He even got you to hold his art supplies for him whenever he wanted to draw in his downtime.

You didn't really mind it, wanting to follow him around anyway, and this way you would be useful to him. You even learnt a few things watching him work, and watching him paint was oddly relaxing. He didn't even mind when you asked him to explain what he was doing, he could get very passionate once you got him started.

Price and Ghost were more interested in your abilities in the field. You were fast, agile, and dexterous, with a patience that's unmatched. You even beat Ghost when it came to sitting still, he held the record to be the best sniper on the team, having the patience of a mountain, yet when it was put to the test, you managed to beat his time by a lot.

Price always keeps a close eye on you, not wanting to admit that he's slightly afraid of you. Even though over time they've got it documented what your abilities included, you keep surprising them. He once saw you playing with a cat, seemingly having a lot of fun, until the cat got annoyed and bit you. The cat managed to draw blood...it died from poison 10 minutes later. He's always been extra wary of you after that, making sure not to touch your wounds directly if you got injured in battle.

Once you start integrating yourself into their group, their acceptance of you becoming easier and easier to get, you also start some gift giving adventures. It was mostly Ghost at first, but occasionally you'd bring the rest things as well. The problem was that the things you brought him were...dead insects...dead animals...things that in your mind were excellent gifts because you were helping with keeping him fed, right?

He did really not view it like that, and when he found a dead rabbit, wrapped up nice and tight in a cocoon, placed neatly on his desk, he snapped at you. In the middle of his yelling you ran, to where they never found out, you became like a ghost, though the subtle hints that you were still around were there.

You kept out of sight for a few days, despite how much they tried to call you forth. Ghost always had this eerie feeling that when he turns you would be sitting creepily on the ceiling in the corner, but you're never in view. He even started feeling a little guilty for snapping at you, but he really did not like to dispose of dead animals every other day.

When you finally came back, it wasn't without a peace offering, and when you stood in front of him, holding out a little cocoon for him, he could only sigh. He accepted it reluctantly but found that there were no dead animals inside it, instead there were little trinkets that you had found. Mostly things he couldn't use, but there was one thing that stood out to him, a mask of his that he could've sworn he lost, yet you had somehow found it.

When he seemed a lot happier with this kind of gift, then you did too, your mood drastically improved, and you kept bringing him more. Though he still could find it to be an annoyance when it was a bunch of junk, it was better than dead insects, and when you looked so happy afterwards, who was he to complain.

Even if you were different, nearing the end of the experiment, none of them could deny that they had come to love your little quirks. Your presence had come to be expected around base, your helpful manner, your mischievous behaviour, adding something to their work life that they've come to quite enjoy.

And when you came running, half in tears, begging them to not send you back to your old handlers...well...it only took one glance between each other to have the quiet collective agreement, that they were going to do anything, to keep you right here with them.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Feral | JJK One Shot

Summary: Jungkook comes back from his Global Citizen Festival and tells you something funny that happened to him. Pairing: Jungkook x f!Reader | Established Relationship, idol!au Word Count: 2.5k~ Warnings: Explicit language and mature themes, mentions of bdsm, sub space and pet play A/N: Hey guys this is my first One Shot that I've uploaded to Tumblr and I'm scared but excited to see what you think. My asks and DMs are open if you have any feedback or just wanna say hi! A big thank you to @trina864 for helping me and encouraging me to start posting on here. Hopefully I'll be coming back with more fics very soon! P.s. Horribly edited so please excuse any errors

"Did you get to watch my performance tonight?" Jungkook asks, bright eyed and bushy tailed walking into our hotel room. I look at him with a pained expression "I'm sorry baby I really wanted to but I had an early morning meeting to talk about this big case we've been working on" I explain apologetically. "Oh" he deflates, sad that I wasn't watching. "That's okay, I know how hard you've been working lately, I understand" he says nodding his head, coming over to the bed to sit next to me and see what I'm working on. He acknowledges all the sleepless nights I've been having, and no matter how much he tries to get me to come to bed, I never listen. Most early mornings he finds me sleeping on my desk having passed out from exhaustion and he picks me up and brings me to bed to get at least a few comfortable hours of rest. 

"You wanna know something funny that happened today?" he says with a toothy grin. I hum in acknowledgement and close my laptop taking a break to give him my full undivided attention. "After one of my songs today I took my inner ear out because I could hear Army chanting something and I wanted to try to understand but I couldn't. So I asked them to do it a bit louder and I guess they were barking at me. Like 'woof woof woof woof'. It happened to me before when I was on Good Morning America and I wasn't really sure what it meant but it looked like they were having fun so I think that would mean it's a good thing right?" he says with an amused expression. "Yes Jungkook it's a good thing" I say giggling at his confusion. "So what does that mean when they bark at me?" he says looking at me and tilting his head at me just like Bam does to him. 

I take a few seconds to think about it but for the life of me I can't really seem to put it into words without making it even more confusing for myself. "Um, well I guess the basic thing that it means if they think you're really hot, like beyond hot" I start. "So sexy?" he says encouraging me to continue. "Yeah pretty much and have you ever really heard the expression of 'going wild' over something?" I ask. "Yeah?" he says dragging it out starting to understand the action a little bit more but still showing some confusion. "Well it's pretty much based on that among other things. Another thing people say is 'going feral' with is like beyond going crazy like when dogs are like foaming at the mouth" I say brining up an extreme example trying to help him get the picture. "You mean like when they have rabies?" he says now thoroughly amused. "I mean kinda but not really" I say tilting my head from from side to side a few times.

"One more thing I could think to link it to would be something a little on... well a little on the explicit side" I say cringing at having to explain this one. "Explicit? Army? Noooo!" he says laughing knowing damn well he has been showing a more explicit side of himself lately, amused that Army is following suit. "You're familiar with some basic concepts of bdsm right?" I say feeling a bit awkward bringing it up. "Well... yeah we've kind dabbled in it a little bit right?" he says with a smirk and poking my side" I flinch a bit at it and laugh nervously "Yeah but anyways, have you heard about pet play?" I ask hoping that I won't have to explain it too much. He tilts his his head up towards the ceiling in thought trying to remember if he's heard anything about it but comes up empty handed. "Mmm can't say that I have" he says and waits expectantly for my continued explanation. 

"Basically it kind of links to a degradation kink, you know when a person gets aroused by getting humiliated. You know, stuff like that" he nods his head showing me he's trying to follow. "So they are saying, well not all of them but I'm sure some of them are thinking this. But they are saying that they want you to degrade them and put a leash on them and treat them like they’re your pet and you can do as you please with them" I say cringing at the fact that I have to have to have this sort of conversation to begin with. "Uh huh" he says feeling slightly uncomfortable but still rather amused. "I mean you're hot so I'm not surprised that people are ready to submit to you like that. "Like you do" he says now dropping his voice an octave, making me shudder. "We're not talking about me right now" I say laughing it off, getting off the bed and putting some distance between us. Jungkook swings his legs over the edge of the bed and stares at me with a hunger in his eyes that had not been there moments ago. 

"Well why not? We're already on the subject, why not continue?" he says leaning his arms back on the bed and spreading his legs. "Because we're talking about your fans, you know Army?" I say continuing to back away from him until I hit a wall. "I don't want to talk about Army anymore, I spent some time with them today so now I want to spend some time with you" he says purposely toying with me, pushing all the right buttons. I let out a slight whimper not knowing how else to respond. "It's been a while since we tried something new hasn't it?" he says sitting up a bit. "Would you like to be my pet? Let me do whatever I want with you? I already know you like it when I call you names. What has been your favorite one recently? Slut? Whore? Bitch?" I whimper again while squeezing my thighs together. "Ah that's right, how fitting, would you like it if I put a leash on you, and let everyone see what a dirty little bitch you are for me? Make you crawl to me? I might even make you drink out of a bowl like the pretty little bitch you are. But wait that might be something you would enjoy. Would you like that pup?" he says waiting for my answer. 

I start to respond but he holds his hand up cutting me off. "Aww look at that, my dumb pup forgot that dogs don't talk. Now try again love, bark once for yes and twice for no" I squirm in place not sure exactly how to respond since the thought of it does intrigue me and I can't lie when I say that I can feel myself getting wet. He raises his brow at me waiting for me to respond and I finally decide to let out one little bark under my breath while hanging my head in shame. "I'm sorry pup what was that? I couldn't quite hear you?" I let out another bark in response now feeling my cheeks starting to heat up. "One more time for me, just a little bit louder. Do you want to be my dumb little pup? My bitch? Poor baby has made up her mind but is too embarrassed to bark. Come on, just a little louder. "Woof" I finally respond loud and clear this time, hoping he won't make me do it again. 

"Aw there we go. Looks like you aren't the dumb little bitch I thought you were. Puppy was just too shy to admit she wants me to play with her". I breathe out hoping he'll stop there but he decides to continue. "On all fours, now" he orders. This I can do, and I've done it multiple times without question when he has me in this sub space that I've been tipped over in. "Good girl" he says with a tone of voice he reserves for when he talks to Bam. For not knowing what this is he seems like quite the natural. "Baby come" he says ordering me to come to his side. I wince at the thought of me crawling over to him and he notices my hesitance, "Aw looks like my dumb little bitch still needs training. Puppy come here" he says in a more playful tone. I decide to surrender this time and crawl over to him and see his eyes rake over my body with a expression that I have never seen before but it makes me feel nervous but sexy. Once I sit in front of him I see him play with his lip rings and then rest on biting his lip for a second just gazing down on me. 

"You did so well love" he says cupping my face in his hand and rubbing his thumb over the apple of my cheek praising me for all that I've done. "You can come out if you want to" he says gently, coaxing me out of my sub space. I blink a few times and reach up to place my hand on top of his and he gives me soft smile, "There she is" he says and he looks down at me lovingly, "Looks like you really enjoyed that" he says helping me stand up. "You're one to talk" I say rubbing my aching knees that I only now just noticed. "Speaking of which you seemed like you're quite a natural for someone who isn't familiar with pet play" I say suspiciously. "Yeah about that..." he says trailing off. "Jeon Jungkook did you lie to me?" I say feeling utterly betrayed. "I'm sorry but you just looked super shy I just had to watch you explain it to me" he says pulling me onto his lap. I burry my face in the crook of his neck to hide my reddening face. 

"You're so mean"I mumble, "Aw come on you know I love you, plus look at you, you're my adorable little pup who listened so well" he says rubbing my back. I sit up and look at him, "But I thought I was your bitch" I say with a roll of my eyes. "That too, but you're my cute puppy first and foremost" he says ruffling my hair. "Hey! Don't do that!" I whine fixing it, "We're not playing like that anymore". "Alright alright, I'll stop. We can pick this up later" he says giving me a quick kiss on my cheek and placing me on the bed walking over to his bag on the floor. "Huh" I scoff, "What makes you think I wanna do that again?" I say crossing my arms over my chest. "Do I really need to see how much of a mess you've made down there right now?" my eyes widen at his words and I cross my legs in response. "Exactly" he laughs pulling out his laptop and his phone, walking over to the small couch in the corner. 

"What are you doing?" I ask curiously watching him prop up his phone. "I'm gonna go on live for a bit to check up on Army to see their reaction, especially since I dropped the teaser for 3D" he says with a smile. "You dropped it at the festival? Wow I can imagine the screams, especially after seeing their reaction to the proof teaser at your last concert in the US" I say shaking my head and smiling at the thought. "Yeah I'm even more excited to release it now!" he says feeling proud of himself. "You and Jack worked really hard on it so I'm sure they're gonna love it. Let's be real, if you just recoded a whole three minutes worth of you just breathing everyone would go crazy over it. That's basically what Hobi did in Jack in the Box right?" I finish laughing. He let's out a chuckle in response, "Yeah you're right, I'm sure it's gonna be great! Are you gonna go shower?" He asks watching me grab some stuff out of my bag. "Yeah I definitely need one, my back is killing me after having to sit in front of my computer all night. 

"Okay wait for me and I'll join you in a bit yeah?" he says with a sly smile. "You better hurry up then mister, I'm not taking a three hour shower because you're still on live" I say remembering the nights he would stay up talking to and spending time with Army. "Okay just give me like 15 minutes" he begs. I laugh and start to walk over to the bathroom but he calls out to me. "Wait!" I turn around at the sound of him, "Can I have a kiss?" he says with a pout, to which I can't help but agree to. I give him a kiss and he deepens it and he promises between kisses that he'll give me a massage to entice me into really waiting for him. I nod my head and roll my eyes and turn to walk to bathroom to which he responds with a loud slap on my ass. "Hey!" I yell back scolding him, but he puts up his finger to his lips as he presses the button to go live telling me to stay quiet. I huff silently and close the door behind me and start the shower and hear him make excuses for the noise.

"Oh I think it's just the sound of someone taking a shower next door. Yeah it's loud huh? I guess the walls are pretty thin here. Oh! Jin! Jin Hyung!" I hear him continue, sounding excited at what I could only think is the sight of Jin commenting on the live. Smiling I get into the shower and let the warm water wash away all the stress from the day until I hear a slight jiggle of the door nob. "Ya! Woman open the door!" I laugh at his pleading and leave him there complaining for a while before letting him in. "Oops" I say "I guess I forgot" I finish, feigning innocence. "Uh huh, you forgot" he says rolling his eyes at me and giving me another slap on the ass. "Just get back in the shower" he says and I give him a kiss before doing just that. 'Tonight is gonna be a long night' I think to myself as I bite my lip standing under the stream of water, waiting for him to join me.

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[cx-boxbox]

I was going to write a fic about Lando wanting to wear pretty clothes, but I gave up after a couple scenes. Anyway, here's the only part I kept:

Lando’s fingers twitch nervously as he collects his packages, fiddling with the corners and ducking under the tape sealing the flaps shut, but he’s careful not to accidentally open them where anyone can see. It was already embarrassing enough to ask the concierge for them, and he cringed at the heavily branded boxes. The lady probably now thinks he has a secret girlfriend or something.

It’s nice out in Melbourne, and Lando is more than happy to swap the polo and jeans he wore to the paddock for a new purple v-neck that’s so soft and light to the touch it might disintegrate between his fingers and shorts that are just a tad bit shorter than the ones he ran around the city in. He has already been photographed without his shirt within days of arriving, so if he does bump into someone, it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise.

But it is really just Lando’s luck that he quite literally smacks into his teammate’s back as he rounds the corner.

Oscar straightens with his bucket of ice, blinks at him, and asks, “Where are you going in such a rush?”

Lando folds his arms over his chest.

“Dinner. Not a foreign concept to you, hopefully.”

“‘Course not.” What is a foreign concept is how Oscar’s gaze keeps drifting south, flickering between the plunging neckline of Lando’s shirt and his upper thighs.

Oh, how interesting, he thinks, amused. Out loud, he asks, “Wanna come with? I have no idea which places are trainer-approved.”

It takes a moment for Oscar to shrug and respond, “Sure, why not. Teammate bonding and such, right?”

Lando gasps and plucks the bucket from Oscar’s hands. He pokes Oscar’s shoulder for good measure. “We’re plenty bonded, mate!” Not as much as he’d like, but still. “Just admit that you’re simply leaping at the idea of spending time with me away from the paddock.”

“I’m going to bring you to a seafood restaurant.”

“Aah! No, no, don't do that. I dressed up so pretty, I even shaved, and you’re not ruining my hard work with, eugh, fish.”

Once again, Oscar’s gaze travels over Lando’s figure, and Lando is incredibly delighted to see red tinting his cheeks. He preens a little, which he cannot be blamed for.

It’s so flattering that it more than makes up for Oscar’s simple affirming, “Hm.”

God, Lando would be so over this whole flirting-not-quite-boyfriends thing if it wasn’t so entertaining. He just hopes that Oscar’s patience doesn’t run out before either one of them gives in and just confesses. He also hopes that he isn’t misreading anything either. That would be fucking humiliating.

The little smiles and full-body laughter Lando regularly receives from him keeps him hopeful at best and delusional at worst.

On the way to Oscar’s hotel room, Lando asks what he planned on doing with the ice, and he only receives a shrug and a mumbled, “You never know when you just need a bucket of ice.”

“That’s fair.”

“Speaking of ice, are you going to be cold in just that? It gets cooler in the evenings, and your circulation sucks.”

“A price I’m willing to pay. Have you considered that maybe your circulation is working overtime? That it might be doing too much?” Lando retorts in lieu of admitting that he didn’t actually think that far ahead in his nervous excitement. A green hoodie promptly hits him in the face.

It’s not McLaren merch. It’s OP81 merch, and it smells like Oscar. Lando resists the urge to ball it up and shove his face into it.

“Just hold onto it if you don’t wanna wear it now,” Oscar says before disappearing into the bathroom. He re-emerges in a long-sleeved shirt and trousers that don’t have drawstrings. Lando almost breathes a sigh of relief. Small mercies.

Oscar’s hoodie also ends up being one of those small mercies, and Lando burrows into it comfortably as they take a longer route back to the hotel because the city after dark is nice. Oscar raises an eyebrow at him in his subtly gloating fashion, which Lando ignores in favor of tucking his nose into the collar.

“You look prettier in my hoodie,” Oscar mumbles.

“Huh?”

“Never mind. We’re here anyway.”

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 30

Alright this is a fuckin big one, for a variety of reasons. One of which being that this is the 30th Day, meaning we've hit another Milestone Piece!

First off, last time I’ll link this here, but if you like this comic and want to see it realized in a slightly more fullfilling way, go check out this fanfic which i posted across October.

Secondly, I’m about to Yap. A lot. So i’m gonna put this all underneath to read because it is a lot, which is to be expected since this is a pretty big piece for the project. And alongside that I wanna talk about the Vampire AU fic.

Okay so “where the fuck did this come from,” you might be wondering. Up till now every pic I had made was sketches with the most color being just the eyes. All of those colored pieces were given that color work long after this one, so what the hell possessed me to make a two page comic.

Well you see. I’m a bit of a fuckin weirdo who completely lacks a concept of self control. And I was starting to really, REALLY get into the idea of Vampire Junkan (No fucking surprise there.) And while I had drawn a few pics involving blood sucking up to that point, I hadn’t drawn their first time doing this, and I am very much into the intimacy that comes with Bloodsucking in the context of vampire yuri. And I can’t imagine their would be anything more intimate than the first time a vampire sucks your blood.

So it spiraled out of control from there, and boom, we have a fuckin two page comic.

Before I start talking about the actual Vampire Fic I should detail that this piece was the pivotal shift in the timeline for this project. Because it was with this one (if I remember right) that this BECAME a project. I had joked about drawing 100 Junkan pics a few times with Val, since by this point I was still drawing these at a crazy speed. As I said in a previous post, from Day 3 to Day 30 I did this all in under 2 fucking weeks, even if they weren’t colored that’s wild pace. 

I’ve never asked her but I wonder what that was like from Val’s perspective, just some random chick on tumblr comes up to you and is like-

“Hello there I like your fanfic, do you want to have Junkan art thrown at you nearly every day for the next 2 weeks???” 

That sounds like a fucking fever dream. And that’s not even considering everything else I would just, send to them for the remainder of the projects production. Some would say I’m built differently, I would say I was built concerningly.

Anyway, so by this point I made the official decision that when I hit 100 Pics, I would start posting them to the public. This eventually would be named The 100 Days of Junkan. So thankyou Vampire Junkan you are somehow vital to this whole thing.

Another thing this comic caused is that it was the trigger for me to just say “Fuck it” and just fully lock in on these pieces. I started doing full color on some of these pieces asI was making them initially rather than going back to color them retroactively, I started putting more effort into the pieces even when they were still just sketches, and as a spoiler, once we hit Day 45 i just drop the pretense that I’m not putting effort into this and every fucking pic is full color. There are literally only two of them I did not color and there was actual artistic intent behind it probably i can’t fucking remember.

Also once we hit Day 45 do we hit the point where I just no longer have pics where I feel like they were a dud. Cause I will admit, while I’m glad ya’ll have been enjoying these I can’t lie and say I don’t see some of the pics posted so far and feel like I’ve wasted some of ya’lls time. This is admittedly influenced by the fact that I know what’s coming up and as a result I know the massive jump in quality we’re gonna hit soon enough (in my opinion at least, i feel like I’m being a pretentious bitch about this).

Anyway so how’re you doin. I hope you were snacking on something while you read this because now I’m going to ramble for an unknown stretch of time about the Vampire Junkan Fic and this comic. I’m so fuckin sorry.

So anyway I’ve said briefly before I think but prior to actually writing the Fic I only had this fucking comic. I had vague ideas around it, but never a setup, an overall plot, nothing. I made this fic solely because I thought this scene would be significantly better written rather than drawn by my hands. 

I would not consider myself much of a writer. I have plenty of experience writing action from years and years ago, however in terms of telling an actual story through just writing, i’m an amateur and only had one small fic to my name, however i’m going to retread ground and go over that in much more detail, much later. I am a funny drawing woman first and my biggest desire in life is to make a webcomic called Happy Trigger. That said, ever since getting into Junkan I have had multiple urges to write stories with them since i cannot justify doing full comics as often as would be required. And one such story is that of a vampire nurse who’s never sucked blood before falling in love with someone who desires to have their blood sucked. 

I did start writing this fic a few months prior to the completion of the project. How many? Who fucking knows, it’s been a long time though.

The original first chapter actually went through a pretty big rewrite, mostly because the way I was interpreting vampires in this fic might have been racist?? Maybe???? I did have friends look it over and they said it could be interpreted as such (though they also said I would probably be fine), and I’m going to be real with you this was back when I was deeply paranoid about everything so hearing that there was even a small chance i might have fucked up like that, while also dealing with a ship which at the time I assumed would get me hated by the community, I just went ahead and rewrote. I couldn’t tell you what the original was like because it’s been a long time and i don’t even know if I have the original file. And I honestly don't think the original details would have really or added or changed much.

I had a relatively thin outline for this in my brain once I started. And said outline got pretty much entirely thrown out the window.

Fun fact, the original plan was for Mikan to just run away because people knew she was a vampire, and part of getting her to open up was Sayaka and Ibuki going public about being Vampires as well. Which would then lead into Junko coming in and then all the rest happening.

Scrapped most of that obviously.

So I just ended up taking the approach of “just write it and hope” which would eventually lead to the outline in my brain that became the whole of this fic. Chapter 3 is when things really solidified for me. It’s also where I decided to include a few more characters, Seiko and Ruruka.

I have wanted to draw art involving Ruruseiko and Junkan for so fucking long. Mikan and Seiko are already a dynamic with a lot of potential despite their lack of interactions in canon, meanwhile Junko and Ruruka I imagine would just fucking hate eachother. Tolerating each other only out of bitch girl solidarity and the fact that their girlfriends are besties. 

Originally they were not going to take such an important role, once again I scrapped planned scenes involving Sayaka and Ibuki alongside Mukuro, this would eventually get redone a LOT and reused for the epilogue as the twist that the two are vampires. (Hi, slightly in the future Jem here, I scrapped the epilogue lol. Couldn't get it to feel right, maybe someday!)

However  just couldn’t think of a way to make it work. And then, I considered the idea of Junko getting her wakeup call from a total bitch who she hates rather than her actual friends. And I fucked with it, and I had fun. 

This was my first time writing Junko in a non-despair context, which was a pretty interesting (and difficult) experience. Equally so this is my first time properly trying to write Mikan, even if it was via the lens of her being a vampire which does switch things up a little. I think if I really thought about it Mikan was the harder one to write for though, I was constantly worried that I might be going a bit too overboard for the tragic aspects of her character whenever they came up.

Another thing cut from the story is that Chihiro was supposed to be genderfluid (which is genuinely just how I headcanon Chihiro) in the fic with Junko making specific note of it during her inner monologue. However as I was looking over the chapters again I got extremely paranoid that I did a horrible job depicting that and opted to keep things ambiguous. Was this the right move? Probably not, but this is just how bad my brain can get when I’m doing things other than drawing.

If you were at all curious "Hey Jem, what was the most stressful chapter to work on?" it was the fuckin Aquarium chapter. Not only was it the one I procrastinated on the most but my confidence in it was at at it's lowest for some reason. Fun fact about that one, Junko really was going to ask Mikan about sucking her blood at the end of the chapter, but I decided to keep things simple with a confession and kissing scene. It didn't really change much beyond a bit of inner monologue stuff.

The entire experience was a constant flip flop of me in two different headspaces. I was either-

“Oh hey this is pretty fun, it’s going well”

Or

“Fuck, shit, fuck am I doing this right? Fuck this is gonna suck, shit dammit, I never wanna write again.”

This is what happens when I don’t say in the lane I’m most comfortable with (drawing), self confidence is liable to just completely plummet at some point. Quite frankly if I did not force myself onto a deadline of getting this fic done before day 30 it would not have been finished, at least not for a drainingly long time. I originally wanted to have the whole fic finished before the event started, but time got away from me and the fic itself ended up being way longer than intended. I think this was supposed to just be 6 chapters at first? And it kinda spiraled out of control from there.

I’m just glad I fucking finally got the idea of this comic onto text, it’s been haunting me for the past 9 months. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that I have a very love-hate relationship with Writing, similar to how I feel with painting. I love having a way to get my ideas out there that isn’t super strenuous for me (imagine if I took this whole story and made it a comic, i’d explode), but where it lacks in physical strain, it makes up for in extreme mental strain due to my self confidence and paranoia issues.

That said I likely will write again, the results generally end up outweighing the hellish process, and people seem to like it despite my worries. And I just have far too many ideas and not all of them can be done justice with art alone.

I’ve got a few potential One-shots left that are set in the Vampire AU, one of which i’ll probably write soon. I’ve also got the Cybertron AU that’s been my head for a good bit now which will probably be my next big writing project. I’ve got a few storylines and ideas based on future pieces of this project, and even an idea kicking around from a recent pic I did which I likely won’t execute because I don’t think in a million years I could do the idea justice.

And I also wanna do fics for other ships, like Ruruseiko or Mikuzono (Mukuro x Ibuki x Sayaka). And even outside of Danganronpa I wanna do Flarelu, since I’m a huge Fairy Tail fan and that’s my favorite ship from the series. Imagine if Mikan’s hair was even more skrunkly, and instead  of having an extremely high body count, Junko was just a very friendly girlfailure. There’s like, nothing for that ship, so I’d like to do something like what I’ve been doing for Junkan . . . Y’know just maybe a bit less excessive.

And I've posted them before, but if you'd like to read the fics that inspired the entire Vampire AU . . .

Chapter 10 of Soft (But Only for Her) by Kayleen756894

She Hits Like Ecstasy by VanadisValentine

Check out the rest of their stuff too!~

Anyway, sorry for killing your time with my incessant rambling! But I had thoughts from my brain which I wanted to get out since this is another milestone.

Your kind words are appreciated!~

[vladdyissues]

i have climbed out of my turkey coma

so i am a huge slut for weird ghost biology fics, but I feel like there's a lack of a middle ground between eldritch!half-ghosts and 'the ghost powers are really only in play when sexy'. specifically, just. how fucking different a person would be if they could just make different parts of their body invisible or intangible, a stop to the cell death that leads to aging damage (usually starts happening irreversibly in 20s), zero concerns about age affecting family building, zero concerns about traveling anywhere you like through flight and stealth (including to space or the deep ocean), dealing with all these things from a relatively young age (Danny and the clones) or long-term (Vlad)

anyway with all that bullshit out of the way have you considered the complete and total clusterfuck that would be Danny and Vlad setting off each other's mating instincts and mutually going into denial about to absurd fucking levels because it's on a ghost-power feedback loop? because so far in my outline for the clone gestation AU I'm trying to find where the line will be for them to admit they see each other as Yes, This, For The Rest Of My Life and so far I have reasons to push it as far back as three years, two kids, posing as a same-age couple once or twice out of stubborn possessiveness, multiple MINE moments out of both of them, and Vlad quietly playing Danny's obsessions like a cheap kazoo before either of them admit there MIGHT be a RIDICULOUSLY UNFEASIBLE attraction there.

(seriously. so unfeasible. could you imagine. never mind the co-parenting and the heavily subtextual arguments and occasionally feeling very satisfied manhandling each other and prioritizing their relationship over practically every other pre-existing one)

goblinhoursinsomniaramblings asked: addendum to previous ask: i love both sides of that weird ghost biology spectrum, and there's certainly not zero middle ground. I just wanna get weird with how a human brain processes Weird Ghost Shit

I never considered the possible side effects—like reduced cell death, slower aging—that using ghost powers would have on a half-ghost's human body. It's really quite interesting, chock full of lore-building opportunities! Which is amazing, considering the age of this fandom. Twenty years old, and we're still coming up with new concepts and lore and theories. Truly a testament to what an awesome premise this show was.

[ch0lwrld]

10:04 PM (pt.2)

warnings: suggestive? they don't really do anything, mentions spoiler for jujutsu kaizen (sorry) a/n: here is the continuationnnn of pt1 hope you like it I worked really hard on it LMAO I put more effort into writing these fics instead of my assignments guys. lmk what you think! ✍️ proofread by me and @watariisbestboy

You had just picked up Soobin, already returning to your apartment. It was a movie night, and you knew how busy he was, but he insisted on spending time with you before leaving for his tour, even with the preparations already in full force. He was still making time for you, nonetheless.

As you reach a red light, Soobin urges you to look at a picture he took earlier. He wants you to compliment him on their new concept, but you don't dare fall for his tricks.

"Wow," you say in mock awe.

"You didn't even look, ugh, here!" he practically forces the phone into your face. The brightness blinds you briefly before you look at the photo. Damn, he looked good. The photo in front of you entirely took you away. Now you know how MOA feels. And he took your silence as an agreement. 

"I know I'm so sexy in this, right?"

"No, I was looking at Beomgyu. He's been looking a little too good recently, and the long hair suits him." You genuinely complimented the guy.

"Ew, please, I look better. Next thing you know, I'll be in a mullet for the next shoot. Ah, look at this one!" Soobin attempts to show you the next photo, but the light has already turned green. 

"Whatever, I know what you'll say anyways," and he continues to smile at himself, tapping away at his screen. 

"Okay, mister, and speaking of your bandmates, when am I meeting them?" you had been meaning to meet the four of them. Soobin always talks about them, and it warms your heart to know he has such kind people to surround him in such a stressful field. Recently, Hueningkai had texted you, but you didn't believe it was him. It would make sense since you know Soobin, but you were still cautious. You had forced him to prove himself, and when he sent a sneaky pic of him and Soobin sleeping in the background, you just had to believe him. Kai told you that Soobin mentioned your guys' similar plushie collections, and your friendship grew from there. 

"I know you just want to because of Beomgyu, but no, you can't. You're mine."

Oh, does he know what that does to your heart?

"…Maybe, BUT I really wanna meet Kai. Kai has been showing me the recent penguin plushie he bought, and I wanna meet a fellow squishmallow connoisseur." 

"You feed his addictions; it's not good. And I don't even know how he got your number!" He suspects that Kai took his phone to steal it from him after mentioning you once to the guys. He regrets ever bringing you up because now you and the guys want to meet one another, and he can't have that happen as much as he appreciates the people he loves the most actually liking each other; he likes the dates the two of you have... just you two. 

"Whatever! I'll meet them one day. It's bound to happen~."

"Maybe one day.." As his sentence begins to trail off, the expression on his face changes to a familiar one that tells you he's thinking. 

"But you and I both know you would never be able to say a word to Beomgyu. Also... why is he your bias? Hello, I'm right here!" He's been pestering you about that ever since his debut. 

He doesn't understand why you would not like him the most. He's your best friend, why Beomgyu?!

"That might be true, but don't call me out. Let me live." 

"Yeah, in your delusions? It's unhealthy to be stuck there, but I can help you get out."

You had already reached your apartment's parking garage, settling into your designated parking spot and turning your car off. 

"Yeah? And how's that?" you turn to look at him to see what he means.

He places his arm behind your car's headrest and points at himself with his other hand. 

"Me." and he has that damned grin on his face. You push him lightly with the palm of your hand, but enough to see that he has hit the back of his seat. Your giggles are all that's left before you begin packing your things. 

"Sure," you say as you gather your phone and keys from their holders—the car doors closing, resonating throughout the garage walls, and the familiar smell of gasoline and others you can't name became more prominent.

"Oh, come on, you know you love me," and he wiggles his eyebrows in your direction.

"I only use you for body heat, if anything." you look at him deadpan.

"Oh, so I'm being used." he feigns hurt, hand against his chest as you walk towards the elevators. 

"Yup!" You comment gleefully.

——-/-——-/-——

The time you take to reach your apartment feels like little to nothing despite you taking residence on the 20th floor. Quick banter and giggles fill the halls. You fear one of your neighbors will hear and complain. 

Once inside, he removes his shoes and slips into the slippers you bought for him with enlarged eyes and vibrant blue peeking out from under his sweats. He smiles to himself, reminded of his fond memory of you surprising him with the pair. He recognized them the instant you had flaunted them in your hands, already wearing the matching pair in a light green. You had shown him a video of the slippers once, insistent that you needed them because they could tongue kiss and hold hands. 

Making himself comfortable on your couch, he grabs the remote as it's his turn to pick the movie for tonight. He had nothing in mind but wandered to those Studio Ghibli films you love. He could understand why you liked them so much, having watched all of them with you on a movie marathon. He was happy to see you indulge yourself in the numerous scenes played on screen and be there for you when it got emotional. You were the type to cry during movies, and he cherishes the fact his shoulder is the one you chose to cry on. You set the snacks you prepared beforehand on the coffee table in front of him before heading to your room to get ready.

When you return, he's on his phone but quickly looks up to see you in one of the hoodies he thought he lost. But unfortunately, he's not too mad seeing you being its captor. If anything, butterflies fill his stomach, and he distracts himself by scooting to make space for you beside him. 

Your small figure in his hoodie does things to his heart, and he knows he's got to do something about these feelings he has for you. But it's probably too late, seeing how affected he is, and you aren't even cuddling yet. 

You take your place on the couch, snuggling into his side and placing the blanket over the both of you. The warmth that floods you is comforting against the cool air. You look at the screen ahead, and your eyes widen slightly as you recognize the familiar title. 

"Ponyo? I thought you wanted to watch that one anime you like." You were curious why he had picked the movie since it was one that you watched when you were feeling down or just needed something to listen to while you slept. You forget the unfortunate end of a particular character he loves, as you mention in the anime series. The mood then dampens, and his expression becomes downturned. 

"Ahh, sorry, I forgot he died. RIP Gojo"

"Too soon…" he says. "It's bad enough. I had to be reminded of it live the other day." You remember seeing this moment live (what can you say? You're a fan!) and could only watch and adore the cute expressions on his and Kai's face.

"Sorry, sorry," you say, chuckling at his expression. You poke the sides of his cheeks, feeling pity about his loss. "Let's just watch the movie then."

——-/-——-/-——

As the movie begins to play, a scene comes up where Ponyo heads straight for Sosuke. She passes the mom, who holds her arms open for the little girl, only to see her run and hug her son just behind her. It's an adorable scene, and you can feel the pure childlike happiness flowing from it. It's reasons like these that have always drawn you to these films. 

Suddenly, Soobin nudges your shoulder to get your attention. 

"That's us," eyes never straying from the scene before him. 

"Yeah, and you're the mom, right?"

"Shut up.. hey we should dress up for Halloween together."

"Yeah? You as Sosuke and me as Ponyo?" You suggest.

"Yeah! I'm sure I have a plain yellow shirt somewhere.." He ponders the thought that, if anything, he can always scavenge through the other guys' clothes.

"You fit the part, but.. I don't know how I would look as a ginger. Never thought of myself in red." Honestly, you thought red was good as a clothing choice, and you had never dyed your hair besides when you thought going blonde was a good idea. But, ever since, you stuck to staying natural.

"Well, we can buy a wig and test it out, so you don't have to commit. No matter what, I think you'll look cute."

"Maybe… oh, but my friends are gonna be on my ass about this." The realization dawns on you. How could you forget? Their nagging comments still ring in your ears (out of love <3). 

"Why?" he questions, cocking his head to the side. 

"Couples costumes? They already think we're in cahoots." You say as you quote the last word with your hands. 

"Of course, I always tell them you don't think of me as anything more than a friend." you let out a nervous laugh and take a bite of the treats before you to distract yourself after revealing such information. You think about all the times Soobin has come over, and your roommate mischievously wiggled her eyebrows at you. 

They'd get a kick out of this one…

“…”

But when Soobin doesn't say anything, it worries you a bit. Did you say something wrong? 

"Hey, is something wrong?"

"No, I just.. it.. Nevermind." 

"You sure? You know you can always tell me. I won't judge." You can tell he's hesitating, but you don't want to pressure him. You're already ready to take back your statement, but he begins to speak up again.

"I... I know you won't. It's just, what if I see you like that... more than a friend, I mean."

You pause. What? 

There's no way that Choi Soobin would like you, of all people? I mean.. he's surrounded by beautiful idols every day at work... What could he ever see in you romantically? You're way out of his league, and the thought has your mind doing laps. You don't know what to say, and he takes your silence as a rejection.

"Sorry, I knew it was stupid. I didn't want to make it awkward; I just thought that tonight would be the night I would finally be able to tell you how I felt."

You continue to stare at him as he fiddles with his fingers. His eyes are darted to the side, away from your knowing gaze. But he continues to spill his heart out for you to hear.

"Maybe it was just me or the way the guys would tell me you might feel the same that's making me say this… Sorry, I shouldn't have told you. I was worried I would ruin what we had, and I couldn't lose you, but.. Ugh, I've already done it."

His shoulders shake as he closes in on himself, regretting his decisions. You immediately take his hands in yours, making him look back at you from the sudden contact. 

"You don't have to say anymore, Binnie." as you place one of your hands on his cheek, his eyes watery, you hate that you're making him feel this way.

You couldn't bear watching as he beat himself up over this. You couldn't after knowing that the possibility he liked you back was real.

"And what if I told you I liked you too?" you whisper, already so afraid as you watch his eyes widen. You couldn't continue to deny your feelings and refuse him because you felt like you weren't fit to be by his side. You wanted to take this moment to finally tell him that all those dates were starting to feel way more than just two friends hanging out. His smiles are the highlight of your day, and his laughter and the sight of his dimples as he grins, are something you wish to see any second you can, especially if you were the one who caused it. That the mere touch of his hand against your own sends your heart soaring out of your chest? That- 

And before you know it, everything has been said. Words slip from your lips faster than you could think, and your distance decreases. Teary eyes stare into teary eyes in the dim light of your living room.

"Can I.. kiss you?" 

All you can manage is a meek nod in his direction before your eyes shut. The feeling of his lips against your own was so soft and everything you could've imagined and more.. you could feel your heart leaping out of your chest, and you worry he can hear it. Your hand on his is starting to tremble, but he only grasps them, rubbing circles to soothe your nerves. 

You meld together so well; finally, having him like this does wonders for your heart. When you finally separate, your hands and legs feel like jelly, and you can only see the soft smile creeping up on his face. A reddish hue can be seen along his cheeks, and you can only imagine the damage it's done to your own.

The movie is long forgotten, and the sound of your heart beating against your eardrums is all you can hear. Even in the quiet of the room, he whispers.

"I like you, y/n—a lot. And I hope that... if you will. Will you allow me to be your boyfriend?" And you don't dare hesitate to answer. 

"Yes! Over and over again, yes!" you say in a giggling fit. You're now straddling his lap and entangling your limbs in his clumsily. You never thought reciprocating feelings with your best friend would feel like this, but you never want it to end.

"Does this mean I can finally do this?" you ask.

He looks at you curiously, tilting his head adorably as you attack his face with pecks and kisses. Hearing his yelps of "help!" followed by giggles. Oh, the things you would do to listen to his laughter on replay.

"Oh my god, get a room." a voice states their presence. 

You jump from your spot on his lap as you both look up at the voice. Your friend had just left her room to refill her glass of water, judging by the empty cup in her hand, to walk in on you, peppering Soobin's face. Sure, she had wanted this to happen for a while, realizing your shared feelings long before you knew. Still, it doesn't make this scene less awkward. A feeling of shame fell upon the two of you, more so Soobin, as he didn't mean to get caught in such an intimate position by your roommate. You look back at him, see his guilty expression, and grab his hand to pull him into a standing position. 

"Maybe we should take this to my room instead," you chuckle. 

You lead him to your bedroom, just a few steps away. He follows behind you, enveloping you in a back-hug, head on your shoulder as you struggle to shuffle your way into the room. 

"I love you." He mumbles near your ear. 

"Moving so fast? We just confessed."

"It's not like I haven't said it before! And plus..." 

You know that it's because its meaning has changed now that you reply back, "I love you too."

[staybabblingbaby]

Felix Tinder AU (First Date Part) A2 D3

[Caution: These are not full fics, or even full parts of fics for some, these are part of my writing progress archive!]

Concept: You match with what you think is a Stray Kids fan account on Tinder. You get along great with the account's owner, and think it's probably your most successful match to-date. Little do you know who's actually behind the screen...

Word Count: 1,580

Notes: So this will probably be the actual beginning. Maybe. Some version of it, anyways. idk, the formatting for this one is a bit... And I still have to figure out how to make fake Tinder stuff without photoshop. I do not own adobe products. This may actually end up being the first writing part in a hybrid SMAU, so it might not be the first part at all. We'll see. I didn't read this one back for any editing notes bc This entire fic is fighting me rn and I don't wanna look at it lol

Warnings: None as far as I'm aware

Leave me comments or questions or anything! Love hearing from folks <3

Masterlist | Next Part (Coming soon!)

You nervously tap on your steering wheel, anxious gaze glued to the side door you were parallel parked directly in front of. You felt sketchy as hell, but this was the manager-approved pick-up method apparently. Or at least leader-approved. You weren’t really clear on the details.

You were still sort of processing that this was your life, actually. Details were a bit secondary to the big picture here, you thought.

At last, the door creaks open and the blond head you’d been waiting for pops out. After a brief cautious sweep of his gaze, his eyes lock on your car. You roll the window down to offer him an awkward smile and a little wave.

Then, with a bright smile that made your heart do stupid little summersaults, Yongbok Felix Lee is sliding into your beat-up little jeep. You’re shamefully distracted by his (very) pretty face for a solid 10 seconds before you roll up the window and start moving to a proper parking spot.

You may be dazed by his presence, but by all things good in this world you were not carting off a (sort-of) stranger without talking to them first.

“Hi!” He’s the first to break the momentary silence, sunny grin on full, blinding, blast in your passenger seat. Your brain stalls a second time as your (again) realize that Stray Kids’ Felix is in your car. Like right now. Currently.

“Wazzup?” You greet back with a cheeky little smirk. You feel a bit bad for Felix. Making light of things was your one and only coping mechanism. You hoped he hadn’t been expecting a serious candle-lit dinner from you.

Well. Candles, maybe. Depends on how late the two of you ended up staying out.

Luckily Felix seems delighted by your overly-casual demeanor, bumping your arm with gentle playfulness. It almost feels like you’re two close friends meeting up after a long time instead of (sort-of) near-strangers.

You know that if he spends enough time with you the shell of confidence you’re currently wearing will become transparent, but hopefully the façade would carry you through tonight.

“We’re just moving so we can talk without being in the way before we head out.” You explain, pulling into a shaded parking spot in the corner of the lot. You’ve pulled hopefully far enough away to not attract attention from the doors, but also not far enough to be creepy.

Felix nods, tilting his head curiously at you. “Sure, what are we talking about?”

You put the car in park and laugh a bit at his cuteness. “Just expectations and whatnot,” You say, unbuckling so you can turn and face him properly.

“Before all that, though, are you a hugger?” You hold your arms open a bit, not enough to actually touch him, and making sure you’re not leaning forward, letting him take the reigns of contact.

You worry you may be being a bit too forward, but you were trying for normality with all of this, and you really did open most interactions with hugs when you could. You were touchy like that.

Fears once again unfounded, Felix grins widely and quickly reels you in for as tight a hug as the two of you can manage whilst still seated. He reels you in so quickly, if fact, that your arms become trapped between the two of you and you struggle for a moment to wiggle them free and wrap them firmly around his waist.

As you settle in, you rock the two of you to-and-fro, and Felix lets out a content little sigh that has you melting into the embrace.

You sort of feel like giggling madly and tearing up at the same time. You feel a bit like you need to vomit, as well, but you hold all three urges back. It’s just that Felix holds you so warmly and delicately, you feel a bit like you might shatter before the night even begins.

You reluctantly pull back before you cross the bounds of appropriateness for a first meeting, skootching around so you can bring your legs up into your seat in a weird pretzel and start the conversation properly.

You want to coo at Felix as he imitates you and gets himself comfy as well. You’re down bad for this man already, unfortunately. IT’s best that you don’t let on quite how badly if you can help it. You don’t know if you can.

“So!” You start with a clap, “First of all, allow me to welcome you to our humble city.” You do an awkward showman’s bow, gesturing as grandly as you’re able when you’ve crumpled yourself into the world’s cringiest ball.

You’re so damn lucky that Felix seems so charmed by you so far. You’re begging with everything you can that your innate silliness will guide you through tis interaction without you panicking too hard.

“I’ve been here for several days now, first of all,” Felix starts, eyes twinkling with amusement and mischief. You play right into his hands, squawking with offense and playfully swatting at him.

You both dissolve into giggles as he tries to catch your hands to keep them from hitting him, and you loudly begin to complain, “Oh well, I’m sorry someone was too busy playing two fabulous shows to come see little ol’ me before now!”

“Oh, come on now, you wouldn’t let me get you seats, you deserve this ribbing!” He retorts back, finally catching your hands and putting a stop to your flailing. He pauses then, and you can practically see the gears in his head turning.

“Wait.” He tugs you forward by your hands, staring you down with an expression of delighted disbelief. “Fabulous show? Were you there?”

You quickly turn your head to hide the mirthful smirk on your face, replying only with a drawn out “Maaaaaybe.”

Felix gasps loudly, letting go of your hands only to lightly slap your knee, “Why didn’t you tell me? I could have gotten you backstage or something!”

You wave your hands in front of you, both warding off Felix’s playful attacks nd waiving off his words.

“No, no!” You deny him, continuing on to confess, “I actually had the tickets before we even started talking, I got them right as they went on sale.” You pause and duck you head a bit to hide your blush, “Besides, our first real meeting should be our first date, right? That’s how this works.”

To your slight mortification, you can very easily tell that Felix is trying his hardest not to coo at you, so you quickly rush to move on before he can interrogate you further.

“But we’re getting off track!” You exclaim, pointing at him in gentle threat. He holds up his hands in surrender, but you can tell by the smirk on his face that he wouldn’t let it go that easily. Still, he lets you move the conversation forward for now.

“So, I’m a bit paranoid,” You suddenly confess. Felix’s brow creases with concern, but you continue before he can get any weird ideas into his head, “I just wanna make sure we’re on the same page before we actually go anywhere.”

Felix makes a noise of understanding and gestures for you to continue.

“So I just want to make sure we’re both expecting this to be a romantic date and not, like, a platonic one.” You explain. Felix tilts his head a bit in confusion but nods along.

“Yeah, we’re on the same page there.” He agrees. His gentle smile feels a bit like he’s humoring you, but you plough on regardless.

“And I know we’ve already talked about this, but I don’t put out on first dates. I’m not into hookups, so even if you’re leaving tomorrow I’m expecting this to be the first of many or the first and last date.”

Felix seems to be cottoning onto the intended severity of the conversation, despite its relatively light tone. He nods along, seeming pleased about something. You pause to let him interject, but he just gestures you to continue.

You hesitate a moment, but then finish with, “That’s all, really, I just want both of us to be happy with things at the end of tonight.”

Felix smiles so fondly at you that you think you’ll combust, so you quickly reach across him to open your glove box to pull out a couple of papers, to Felix’s utter bafflement.

“Moving on!” You exclaim, pretending that your ears aren’t burning with the force of your blush, “I also have these!”

You present to Felix a paper with an address and your vehicle details as well as a map with a certain area circled.

“Ok, so, keeping as much a secret as I can,” You begin to babble as Felix examines the papers with confusion painted over his delicate features.

“But I was thinking about what we could do that didn’t involve being in public much and wasn’t expensive or anything, and I came up with a plan. A friend of mine owns some forested land with some nice hiking trails, so I thought we’d start there, but it’s a bit rural and I know it’s weird, so I brought both the lot address and coordinates and my car details so you can tell your people exactly where you’ll be and if phone service dies or anything no one freaks out and-”

You cut yourself off, realizing that you’d probably said way more than you needed to

[passing-moments]

Hiya! You can call me X or Locke (@lockede-x-it) and I am the sole owner, artist, and writer of this blog.

Passing Moments is a ClanGen blog solely dedicated to my runs that I will more or less take full creative liberty of. I may use different rulesets depending on the run and most if not all will likely contain the usage of mods which I will credit the creators of. I am also not immune to sudden artstyle changes/experimentation.

Also feel free to send asks directed towards me or the characters featured in any active runs. I'll try my best to answer them though I cannot guarantee I will answer all of them.

Current Runs: - GravelClan (Allegiances) (See Related Posts Chronologically) (ComicFury Link)

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(^^^ If this link ever expires or stops working let me know ASAP btw)

WARNING: Given the nature of the source materials, this blog will depict blood, violence, animal injury/death, child injury/death, abuse, and other potentially upsetting themes. I will tag any posts that feature these but please be careful following me if any of these can easily upset you.

FAQ under the cut

Q: Am I allowed to mention you in posts/make fanart/make cameos of your characters in my own ClanGen blog?

A: Absolutely! Do not worry about annoying me at all and I would love seeing fanart and fics if that's what you want to do.

Q: Can I take inspiration from any of your runs for my own stories?

A: Go right ahead! I often take inspiration from other media anyways and I do not own any concept. In fact, I would love to see what you decide to do with it!

Q: Why is the inbox closed/when will it open again?

A: I tend to disable the inbox when I am either getting an overflow of asks or I am on a hiatus. This is solely to prevent myself from getting overwhelmed and stressed as a result! I will be the most likely reopen asks every time I post a moon update. ^^'

[drhighhopess]

Similarities

A Claire x Leon fanfiction

Word count : 2.6k

Chapter : 1/1

Type : sfw

a/n : this was made for cleon week (may not be on theme.. but im still wanting of participation) currently i'll try to squeeze in a fic or two. If so they'll probably less in length. for this fanfiction my whole idea was to show how Leon and Claire relate to one another with past, with trying add who they are today with it! Advice is always appreciated <3, also if enjoyed leave a kudo on ao3. (All pictures from pinterest)

A few footsteps could be heard from the otherside of the door. Practically like a broken record, was he going crazy? Not like anyone could blame the blonde. Each time he went onto a plane just to know he may not come back. Why risk it all?

Only if I decided to not go to the RPD.

Those words ran in his mind more than he'd like to admit.

Maybe it was wrong, all of it. It wasn't like anyone cared. Since Leon was little he was alone. No five year old expected seeing the person who they looked up to killed in front of his eyes. He was only a kid, and didn't even start kindergarten yet. People took him, barely could even process what happened. Speaking to him in a language he couldn't understand. Where was his mom? The woman he loved dearly. He was always a mama’s boy since he could remember. He has a good memory of his childhood inside of Italy from how quickly it changed. There wasn’t even a full concept of life and death to him yet. Especially not at the ripe five.

He remembers his mom, his dad.

Would they be proud of what their son became?

It wasn’t his concern, at least wasn't for now. Why ask a question for a non existent answer. Or he was just meant to be selfish. He couldn’t see all he gave to everyone. If he had the choice to never plan to move to the RPD and stay in Pennsylvania. Simply take a job opportunity out there, never know the fucked up shit he does. He would take it, he hated that he knew how selfish it would be. Even knowing he would never meet Sherry or Claire. Maybe he only thinks like this when he thinks about his situation. Even then when he sees the smile on either girl's faces. He surely doesn’t regret it, or at least as much. Why lie, he's sure they both hate how they ended up in the past six years. He is sure they'd be perfectly fine without him. Who wasn’t anyway?

The apartment door opened, revealing a certain redheaded girl. The bags in her hands pushed against one another. Her back pressed against the door to close it.

“You still up for movie night?” Claire asked, the look on her face said everything. The small smile that crept on her lips. The gentle way they curved in his sight. A soft giggle left her mouth. placing the bags filled with snacks she picked up on her way on the counter of his apartment, before going to lock the front door.

“I'm not taking no for an answer, Kennedy” Claire made clear, her voice firm. Leon knew there was no way he'd get to convince her another night. Just for them to cuddle to sleep instead.

“..Assumed so,” He muttered, leaning his head against the couch. He sat onto the couch, his legs spread apart.

“What's up?” Claire asked, moving over to forget about the bags. She went to Leon on the couch. Moving over to him to take a seat.

“Sorry, just a shitty day.. my mood is fucked up.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Rather wouldn't”

Claire sat there, she looked into his eyes but it didn't even feel like she was inside the same room as him. He practically didn't include her in his space. Like being in an alone room. Just.. he was sitting right next to her.

“Can you not do that?”

“Do what?”

“Make me feel like I'm unimportant”

“Claire you're not, you know this.”

Claire paused, she usually didn't hear him say her actual name. Unless she's being difficult or something. There were a few exceptions, “So we're throwing Red out the window?”

“No, I never said that”

There was absolutely no need for a reply. The redhead couldn't even be bothered. He randomly wanted to treat her like this so be it. She gently got up from the couch. Moving over to their bedroom. Ignoring the bags on the table, meant for them to have some snacks. Lightly pressed the door shut, letting go of the door handle. Pulling her pants off, moving over to her side of the dresser. Finding a pair of shorts to wear. Then a drawer down there was a tank top she wouldn't mind using as pajamas.

.

A couple of hours passed, and a light but delicate knock could be heard. The blonde wasn't in his mood anymore. He felt slightly guilty for pushing his feelings onto her. She just wanted to hang out with him, isn't that what girlfriends do?

Sometimes it was mind blowing to Kennedy she actually loved him. Considering we were talking about Claire Elizabeth Redfield, he couldn't truly believe it. More so because everything he sees in her. A year ago that would have been his best friend living somewhere in California. Recently, it has been rocky. Claire at first was hesitant on moving to the other side of the country. It's a huge change, not to forget with the humidity in the east. Even then she was willing to make that sacrifice for Leon. She didn't expect for the change to hit her as hard as it did. She grew up in the east, inside New York. It wasn't much different from humidity wise.

Leon came from a mission a couple weeks ago, it's the main reason why he's so irritable. She knew he meant no harm, he's just isolating himself. It's a natural tactic they both use every once in a while. It's just.. hard. She just made a big change, now she's living with him. Plus she transferred departments.

Leon entered their room, after knocking, just to make her aware he'd be entering. She seemed awake, just faking being asleep. If anything, at least trying to actually go to bed. He slipped his way under the covers. Wrapping his arms around her waist from behind the woman. Her heat radiated to him. He didn't have to dream or fantasize Claire being his.

She was his.

Just like he is hers.

Leon had no idea that he'd be in a relationship again. He had hookups occasionally. If he was honest not many, he didn't like sex without emotional connection.

His breath caressed her neck, moving his lips to release a gentle whisper, “You up?”

“Yeah” Claire replied, her voice didn't seem sleepy if anything. The emotion coming from it was more hurt than anything.

“I'm sorry, for being difficult”

“Don’t worry about it” Claire mumbled, turning her body around to face him. Leaning over his frame, before going in for a soft peck. His hands moved over to her waist. Leons fingers rested on the soft skin they possessed under them. His hands guided her onto his hips, the movement encouraging the blonde to sit up against the headboard. Feeling her thighs wrapped around him, Claire remained in a straddling position. Her hand rested on his face, leaning in to kiss him once more.

First it was one kiss.

Then two.

And then three.

A soft groan left Leon's mouth. Any of the stress he built up from the couple past weeks was gone. The woman broke the kiss, moving over to pull off her shirt. The piece of clothing was discarded onto the floor with no ounce of regret.

She looked amazing with it, but even better without it

.

The thin piece of sheet that covered Claire’s body felt comforting in a sense. The feeling of being protected and held safe. It wasn’t something she got, since late childhood she was practically alone. When her parents passed away Chris made the choice at seventeen to go to the air force since he knew he had to be the one to support his little sister. In the meantime Claire was only in the 6th grade. The day before she had her mom and dad, she had her parents. They loved each other, and in one night it was taken away. At first she had denial, it was like a situation you'd see in movies. My mom and dad are dead? No way. They were just alive this morning. Once it hit that she’d never see either of them again it sunk. That she really was moving in with her aunt. At first it wasn’t a problem, she loved her aunt. Even then everything was different, so different it hurt and wasn’t fair. Waking up, not seeing her dad sitting on the couch. Neither could have seen her mom cooking breakfast once more. It was a memory she could have never imagined to be taken away so quickly. Afterwards she became angry, upset, mad, jealous, envious.

It wasn’t fair

Nothing is fair, Claire

Throughout the years she learned no one really cared. She only had herself to depend on. She liked taking care of herself. It made her feel powerful with an advantage. No one had the right to tell her what to do and what she should do. Picked the wrong group of friends, learned habits she wished she didn’t. It made her feel… better. She had a place to finally fit in, even if it meant at fifteen constantly being caught with alcohol.

I'm practically grown. Who cares?

Now she's a decade older and realizes how young she truly was to be fifteen. How she was making so many ridiculous choices for what? She had all the time in the world. She learned how much she truly was just a kid.

How she gave her aunt a hard time, she could tell the woman didn’t like her as much throughout the time she lived with her. In full honesty, shocked she held out until Chris came back. Allowing her to live inside her house until Chris arrived home. To Claire's surprise, he wasn’t even there his full time. They discharged him. There was no more back in forth notes. She would miss them in full honesty. Notes were like the one thing that kept her feeling like she had someone that cared for her. Still she knew there was no missing the letters if it meant seeing Chris again.

Claire noticed the absence of space next to her in the bed. Before sitting up, looking at the floor to find her clothes.

Weird, Leon's must've already got dressed.

Her feet hit the cold hardwood tile. Standing up from the bed. Picking up her clothes, before moving over to her closet. Putting them in the dirty clothes basket. Looking over to the bathroom. Opening the door, before turning on the turning the switch up. The light filled up the room. Before turning on the shower, waiting a couple of seconds for it to get warm. Moving over to grab her towel. Setting it on the bathroom counter.

After she got into the shower she closed the curtain. The redheaded girl felt the warm water on skin. She tilted her head back, letting her hair get wet in the process. A breath of air left her mouth. Showering was probably her favorite part of the day. The water caressing her skin, each drop ran down her whole entire body. Giving a sense of comfort, the action made her feel better each time. After fifteen minutes her hand went to turn off the water, each drop hit the tub. Before she grabbed her towel and stepped out of the bathroom. Putting on the clothes she set out for herself prior to taking a shower. Once dressed Claire went back into the bathroom do to what she usually did,

Brush her teeth.

Wash her face,

And put on deodorant.

This time she felt like straightening her hair. She's always had loose curls. It became a normal habit to straighten her hair. Even if she didn’t do it much for work. At least when she was on missions, there was not a need for her to just sweat her hair out. If there was an event or possibly a meeting she liked having her hair straightened, it made her look prettier in her own opinion.

Obviously Leon would have disagreed.

She was beautiful no matter what, one of the prettiest women he knew.

“You know what.. I'm still up for that movie?” Claire turned around, her body now covered in clothes. The tank top that stuck to her skin like glue, then the pair of shorts she put on.

“Really?”

“Yeah, your pick”

“..Okay there's this movie that came out a couple of months ago and I wanted to watch it with you.”

Claire smiled, before continuing, “Did you get the chance to see The Notebook?”

.

All the lights were turned off, the blinds were closed. Everything except the light from the TV. Including the reminder of daylight with the small bits of light seeping from the window. They sat together looking at the screen, having a moment just purely with one another. Leon was less focused on the movie itself, if anything he was focused on the woman next to him. Taking subtle glances at her face. Even if he wasn't a total big fan of romance he'd watch it if it meant making her smile. Just getting to spend some time with the woman he loved was enough, and truly all he could've asked for. Especially with how much he knew she loved spending time with someone. Not just that, but the people in her life she genuinely cared for intensely.

The redhead had her head on his shoulder, his arm rested around her waist. The blanket carefully draped around both of them. Every moment she was with Leon she learned how much they could relate to one another. Not only from the past, the feeling of losing a parent so young. Being failed by everything you knew and having to be there for yourself. Knowing the struggle mentally and emotionally. It wasn't an experience many could relate to.

As well with how they met, meeting in a time in life where everything went upside down. It was where they both needed someone to rely on and trust.

That there was a sense of trust they gave each other.

Leon would be lying if he said he didn't wonder how he would've met her, if not Raccoon City. There wasn't a doubt he wouldn't have met the woman he fell in love with. The same feeling he's never felt so intensely, the same one he never thought he could feel like he did today.

She made it possible.

He knew she could relate to him with childhood, the pain they both faced at the time. Not only that but understand how the Raccoon City Incident affected them both. How they went through it together. The emotional roller-coaster was difficult, but having someone else by your side makes it better.

Leon turned his head to the side to look at her face, shifting his body slightly so Claire would look up at him. Moving her head from his shoulder, her eyes moved to his face, curious.

“You alright?” The redhead asked, before being met with a warm feeling against her lips. Leon pressed his lips on hers once more, before letting go.

“Yeah, I'm fine.. I love you, Red.”

“Love you too, hotshot”

[alpinelogy]

📚

Put "📓" or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I'll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven't written but daydream about.

Okay I have been recently reading the red stain of torment by my beloved @/weegreenbean and that fic is not really relevant to this beyond the fact that it too is about a championship charge in a Ferrari... sort of. The connection is loose and only makes sense to me but I've been thinking about this fic instead.

Anyway let me introduce you to end (a symphony). I briefly mentioned this a couple of days back but this ostensibly is about the 2027 championship but actually this is a Charles character study at heart. The good, the bad, and the others, told from Pierre's perspective. And yes, this is in fact my Piarles magnum opus (dont tell that to flamewall (fire) tho, it might get sad because that one is making me use all my braincells)

Anyway detailed and spoilery rambling under the cut. And also why do I wanna write it and why do I daydream about it regularly:

First of all I fully blame Sam for making me think of this concept all the way back in June, when somehow the topic of Charles and the media games he plays got brought up on their blog. We've stumbled on this topic a couple times since and every single time I've walked away from our conversation only wanting to write this more and more.

In my personal opinion, Charles plays the media game extremely well, he knows his good angles, both literally and metaphorically, he knows how he looks and therefore presents himself in his best light, he knows that he is the grids designated pretty boy who cannot do wrong and he will use that to his advantage when he really is just as evil as the rest of them. You sort of have to be to make it to F1, you can only be so nice, at some point you have to fight. And that's okay. That's why we watch sports at the end of the day. The love is not enough but what if this time it is or something.

With this in mind, picture this: it is the winter break after the 2026 season, Lewis just won his 8th with Ferrari in one of Ferrari's most dominant seasons ever and retired, Ollie gets promoted. It is sort of a universally acknowledged truth that maybe, towards the tail end of the season, Charles has been a little but more sedate. Next year will be his year, everyone knows, he can step back a little. Next years glory will be all his, tenfold whatever glory Lewis got despite Lewis being a living legend and breaking the championship record.

Ollie is first on the chopping block once the season begins, and then comes the rest of the grid, Charles will (metaphorically) kill them all if thats what he needs to get that championship. Its his tenth year in F1, its been 25 years since the 2002 season, he can and he will destroy everyone to appease the racing gods, wins the bloody championship in the most dominant way he can. Ferrari is a sleeping monster and he just woke it up. And he knows what he is doing, at least seemingly.

Enter Pierre. He (and Jack but hes not relevant... sorta. I implore yall to look who Jack's father was very close with. Dare I say if yaoi rpf existed 25 years ago in the scope it exists now, people would write yaoi of them) has been sort of vibing around in Alpine for the past few seasons, solid midfield but he is having fun and thats what counts. He is thinking he will have a chill 2027 until you know. His best friend decided to go fucking feral. After that he is trying to figure if he is supposed to be shovelling popcorn into his mouth or if he should be concerned.

Its the second btw for the most part. Charles has gone full on unhinged and yeah maybe he needs a friend he unconditionally trusts on his side. He trusts his team but they are still the team, they are not a friend you know what I mean? And if Pierre stops being a friend and becomes some sort of a lover along the way then well... shit happens.

The plot is vague at best, but at some point it does have to get ugly, obviously. The universe asks how much for a championship in the most dominant way ever, and Charles does not even blink and says everything even if it does not have to cost that much. Pierre steps in and says wait a minute but obviously, he can only do so much. It will have to be Charles who realizes that no, it is not worth everything, and it has to be Charles that ultimately makes the first step to make sure it does not cost everything.

What I do have however fully outlined is the formatting of this fic. Because something something aesthetics, writing is art and just like with any other art, the way the story is presented too impacts the way the art is perceived. In this case what I'm saying is that I have the chapter split outlined as follows:

Four chapters, similarly to how a symphony is separated (- do not quote me on this I barely passed music class in eighth grade okay)

First chapter is preseason testing to Monaco, we shall see if I include that here or in the second chapter, stc to word count

Second is Monaco to summer break, once again stc if summer break is included here or not

Third is summer break to circa Singapore, this is also where the breaking point occurs

Finally fourth is the end, the fallout, the crowning, the end

I am stupidly proud of this and trust me I have so many notes on the structure and even chapter titles, though I am wavering between oh these are so cringe and I adore these so yall will have to wait until this gets out of jail. When this gets out of jail, trust me, its got the tried and tested Eric strategy team working on it.

Anyway, I am using this fic as my outlet to put in all Ferrari related thoughts. Maybe this is less of a Charles character study and more of a Ferrari character study cause to me they are a monster quite like no other else and this fic is just the outlet to write poetry about this team. I am quite literally frogging several of my older wips just for the imagery.

Also I very much enjoy writing these stories that feel larger than the sport and life itself. Is this about Charles or is this about Ferrari, the sport, how media perception impacts how we view the athletes? Could theoretically this be about any team and driver if I tried hard enough?

The answer to that btw is sort of. There is no other team with quite the history and mythology of Ferrari on the grid, the ghost of Enzo Ferrari is within the DNA of this sport lets be real here. Ferrari itself is haunted by its former glory, Michaels five consecutive championships that were almost violently stopped by Fernando, Kimis one single championship and then the slow death, Fernando and Seb who miserably failed at winning even though they came close. And even though yes, technically Lewis does win his eighth with them just before the fic starts, there is still a world of difference between Lewis and Charles, the Il Predestinato.

Oh and speaking of Charles, I don't think there is currently a driver on the grid with the amount of mythology behind him as he is. Sure, Lewis has a lot behind him but that is tangible, that is real, people watched that legacy be built year by year, race by race, lap by lap. He did not come onto the scene with so much mythology around him already. Meanwhile Charles not only has his mythology, but he keeps touting it around.

Now do I think it is fake? Not necessarily. I would not be surprised if some pieces are embellished or changed slightly, to look and sound better, but too much of it is fact checkable to be fully fake. Does Charles lean into it? Absolutely. But then again, he also cried on the Monaco podium and I think that was genuine. And Ferrari and the tifosi downright adore him, Ferrari is a religion and Charles is at the forefront of it and I really wanna sink my teeth into that and poke at him until he gives me all his secrets.

Anyway there are other teams for who there is a story in a similar vibe to be written, Mercedes and their almost explosive return to the scene before the past few years, McLaren sort of playing second fiddle to Ferrari in how they are written within the history of F1. Heck I've already channelled the vibes once with wonderland with Williams and their fall from glory, and lbr I could probably go on and on. Almost all teams have a story that could with a little bit of skill be written into something larger than life but I think Ferrari has both the plot and the driver.

I am just saying, when Charles wins a championship? He might as well be crowned some sort of a prince, don't think Ferrari and F1 at large will forget that season anytime soon. Just look what happened in Monaco and Monza this year. And that was just Monaco and Monza.

All this to say, my draft of a description for it currently looks like this. Crowning of the Il Predestinato or something idk

Anyway sorry for all that rambling I've just been rotating this specific premise in my head for a while now and been wanting to write another fic like this for even longer. Timeloop is fun but does not have the larger than existence vibes yk? It's too secretive, no one can know you are stuck in a timeloop meanwhile everyone can see this happen, and technically its an outsider pov but with a lot of insight into Charles. Perfect storm dare I say.

[therosebunpost]

October is on the horizon and I’ve been literally dying to talk about this Werewolf! Steve idea that’s been bouncing around in my brain. I’d like to write a fic about it, but hey, if anyone else wants to use this concept, feel free!

But okay, here’s the concept:

Werewolf! Steve x Blind! Reader, where Steve accidentally finds himself becoming her seeing eye dog by accident. Like, he’s full transformation. Just running through the woods like a happy, fluffy boi until he comes upon her. Maybe she got lost, maybe someone led her out there and left her, but either way, she can’t find her way home. Usually she has her seeing eye dog with her, but they aren’t here. (Maybe they got separate or the dog got spooked and ran away, but don’t worry the dog is perfectly safe regardless. They just aren’t there right at that moment)

Anyway, Steve decides that he might as well help her out of the place. He guides her through the woods, warding off any potential dangers that threaten her life. (Like, upside down creatures or just regular animals)

Maybe they even know each other! Maybe they used to be childhood friends, or maybe their families run in the same circles, or maybe it’s just a random meet up of fate.

I kinda wanna have Eddie join in too. Like, you just have Bat! Eddie scouting far ahead to make sure things are safe before coming back to Steve, like how ravens help wolves find prey. Though you know, this time it’s helping someone come back home XD

Or OH! Eddie knows you first, but obviously he can’t just randomly show up to guide you out, so he asks Steve to guide you out of the forest in his Wolf form.

Regardless, I just love the idea of a Werewolf boyfriend that also moonlights as your seeing eye dog. Hell, maybe Steve and Eddie are both werewolves. As much as I love Bat!Eddie, they did introduce him in the show with I Was A Teenage Werewolf by the Cramps. So, you get two fluffy wolf boyfriends!

[mypoisonedvine]

I hate hate hate having to talk about this stuff because I know 98% of y'all are not the problem, and the remaining 2% are probably not going to care in the slightest. but I need to set some boundaries and explain why I'm getting frustrated before any more resentment builds.

I've been writing for cillian murphy characters since july 26 when I posted 'thoughtless', since then I've released well over one hundred thousand words of content for him. I'm not exaggerating, I counted. it's been five and a half weeks and I've posted 14 full-length one shots which means I'm posting more than twice a week. that's not even including drabbles/requests.

I'm getting concerned that this has set a precedent that people are holding me to and I'm getting annoyed by the entitlement in some of my asks and comments.

first things first, and I know nobody means anything bad by this but it's pissing me off: stop using the phrase "full smut" in your requests, it's driving me crazy. this started abruptly after I posted a bunch of drabbles in one sitting based on y'all's ideas and requests. I did that as a way to try out new ideas and appease people who hadn't had their concepts written about yet. instead of people being happy with what I wrote for them, people got frustrated that the drabbles were drabble-length and not thousands of words long like my full fics (which take me several days to write, rather than an hour or less which is the point of short requests). ever since, people won't stop coming into my inbox talking about making a "full smut" for a certain character or idea as if they're terrified that I'll only post something short. I usually don't post short things. I feel now like those drabbles were a colossal waste of time because all they did was make people afraid I wouldn't write longer stuff; I wanted to open requests again because I had fun, but now I feel like it's a bad idea because it'll just leave people frustrated when they see it's not whatever a "full smut" is and then tell me it's incomplete and I need to write more. a short drabble can very well be a complete story. stop asking for "full smut" PLEASE. just tell me what you're interested in reading and trust that, as the author, I will tell the story in the correct length of time.

secondly, the way people are asking for stories about new characters is getting out of control. I think you guys don't realize that I only post less than half of the asks I get, because they are so repetitive and constant. I have literally over 2000 unanswered asks currently. if I answered all the asks I received, I would lose followers because it clogs the dash and half of them are the same questions.

and I'm just gonna say this one explicitly: please stop asking me to write for cillian's character in the movie 'anna'. I'm not saying that I won't or that I don't want to. but I need you to understand that I get easily 3-5 asks a DAY about this character and I am exhausted. I'm not particularly interested in watching the movie. not only does it look like it's probably just not that good, but on a very personal note, I am in recovery for an eating disorder (and relapsed recently) and I just... don't wanna watch a movie with a runway model in the leading role right now. I'm sorry if that feels like body shaming or something but I've been waiting until I feel like I can watch it without feeling sick or enraged. it should come as a surprise to no one who is familiar with my work that I'm not a particularly mentally healthy person. but that's only part of it; I answered asks about this character for a while saying I wanted to write for him eventually, but I had to stop because people just asked about him every day anyways without reading my very recent posts with the same question. I'm still not ruling it out. I'm just warning you guys that it will be a while.

people are now commenting requests for new characters ON MY CURRENT FICS FOR UNRELATED CHARACTERS. how entitled and dense do you have to be to do that? I can't believe this has to be said, but comments on my fics should be... related to the content of the fic you're commenting on.

to be clear, I'm not mad at anyone for doing this stuff (except that last one, that's unforgivably ridiculous) because I think the intentions are pure. but now that I've explained why this stuff bothers me, I'm asking you to put a little more thought into how you phrase your questions and comments. to be clear: for the most part I feel incredibly supported and appreciated here and I've been very impressed by this fandom's ability to not be morality police and manage their own content consumption. a lot of you have reached out with concern about the speed at which I was producing and I totally understand and value that. I honestly think I can keep up that pace for a little while longer... I just wanted to explain why I'm getting a little irritated and hopefully decrease the amount of asks I get repeating the same two or three things.

so, tl;dr -- I've been having a lot of fun writing and I plan to keep doing it as much as I can. some people are spoiling the fun for everyone by being (usually unintentionally) entitled and impatient. I don't mind you guys showing enthusiasm for things you'd like to see from me, in fact it's helpful because it tells me what might get a good reception. but please be thoughtful in how you make these requests and please support what I've already written if you want to see more. I think non-writers have a hard time understanding how inspiration works (hell, even writers don't really understand it in ourselves lol) and so it kinda just seems like if I can write about one thing I can write about any thing. but I only write so much and so fast because I write what speaks to me and not other people's ideas. again, thank you so much for all the love and support this past month!!

p.s. I also get asks multiple times a day asking when I will post a fic, especially if I've announced it. I always post fics between 4 and 5 PM central US time. I would recommend calculating when that is for you and I promise you'll find me posting very reliably at this time on days I have fics announced. hopefully this saves us all some trouble in the future lmao

[zannolin]

hey!! hope you’re doing well! i’m the person who wrote the narnia fic “first love, never die” and i just wanted to recommend a few fics that inspired me and made me INSANE. after ur comment i just. kept thinking “wow zannolin would probably love those fics i read last year….” so eventually i caved and here i am

number one for peter ptsd: “golden child, lion boy” by theandrogynousdragon . WHEN I TELL YOU I CRIED. you would love it, he’s so fucked up and full of anger and angst and suffering. the concepts in this fic made me ILL. oh god… i just reread it and i wanna read it again already i feel sick i feel crazy

next, a longer fic that’s still not too long with a similar past and present format to mine, with more caspeter and !!!!!!! really good sibling interactions and grief. “keep the faith” by adrianicsea . i’m gonna be ill. it’s super super good and beautiful and the sequel is excellent too and edmund-centric. also edmund is trans and that is explored and !! so good. it’s an angsty character-study disguised as a caspeter fic. the author has a few other posted narnia fics but i don’t think ive read all of them yet…. but i bet they are amazing. definitely recommend checking them out.

and finally we got “our battle cry shall be: ‘at least our leader means well’” by paperclipbitch . mainly caspian-centric, got some caspeter, and goes thru caspian’s life and angst and issues. also deals with the bitterness between caspian and peter and explores their characters. very good

there were some other recs but i checked ur bookmarks before sending this and you had already bookmarked all of them!!

also i saw you posted a narnia fic while i was in the car on a long trip and when i tell you i YELLED. i was like “i need to read this” and my mom was like “girl you have a project due TOMORROW !!” and i was like. i knowwwww :( so anyway !!!! i looked at the summary and i can already tell it’s gonna fuck me up….. i’m so excited. wait for an incomprehensible comment. idk when bc im busy asf rn but like. watch out. sleep with one eye open etc etc

hope you like this fics if you read them!!!!! hope ur having a great day :D

omg hi hello how does it feel to be the person singlehandedly responsible for dragging me down into caspeter hell?

i have actually read that last fic there i believe but these other two ooo i'm making such eyes at them i can't wait til i've got a min to do some reading *rubs my hands together evilly* and ahem yeah i went through like the entire caspeter tag. it was a thing.

i hope you have fun whenever you do get to read the susan fic (so sorry about everything in advance) but you'll be pleased to know i am currently 7k strong into a proper caspeter fic as well right now so that'll be coming someday soon! so YOU sleep with one eye open etc etc ;)

thank u for the recs and for writing the fic ever <3 i sure am having a great day rn and i hope you are as well!